You MUST ‘Level Up’ To Change ANYTHING – Why You Are NOT A Failure…

Yep… lovely post this one, one where we ‘let you off the hook’ by explaining WHY you’re still riding the ‘Hot Mess Express…’, why you just can’t ‘snap out of it’…

See we are going to cover something you may have already tried – the need to be PRESENT in your life because you are not, but in the original Zen sense of it. We are going to tell you what it’s actually about, show you what it means to you, and why it’s such a big deal to every path on the planet.

To do this we have to illustrate to you why it is almost impossible to ‘change’, to DO anything different for yourself before you understand this. But we are not going to ‘soften the blow’, you must understand WHY you can’t do anything different, and be motivated to change that, rather than stay living trapped like a little domesticated animal. But this is not about BEING GOOD, about any morality as you understand it, so YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS TOTALLY SEPARATE TO THE CREEPY, FAKE WORLD OF WEAPONISED, SOCIAL MEDIA MORALITY, DONE FOR PROFIT.

So this is not about ‘forgiving you’ your faults, you have to see yourself in the raw first before you even KNOW what your faults actually are, so that is pointless. So we need to be VERY clear here – YOU can’t fake these insights. See, I don’t mean letting you off in A FAKE WAY, in the ‘Lost Soul’ sense of it, in the ‘my demons made me do it’, sense of it, or because your Woke, ‘unearned moral virtu’ made you… Particularly we don’t mean in the judgemental-self-righteous-projections-of-their-own-issues by every messy-little-‘Karen’-and-some-fake-tribe-creating-the-temporary-but-false-impression-that-everyone-else-thinks-that-shit-so-you-should-too…, sense of it. (Sorry Boris). Have to say, do you not think it is genuinely CREEPY when folks bare their souls about some deeply private past health struggle on a 100% commercial social platform, in such obvious ‘Bad Faith’, just for ‘LIKES’ and ‘RETWEETS’, for ‘VISIBILITY’, because their sales ‘coach’ told them too? That their readers will associate that with moral courage, they will sympathize and be more likely to DO BUSINESS WITH THEM, even though they could be Satan’s moody younger brother in ‘real’ life. Take a moment to understand the horror of that, of what it means for your society, of where it goes… No wonder increasing numbers of you turn to private narcissistic hedonism to keep it ‘real’ – for many it’s probably the only available antidote to this crass, tacky, and genuinely sickening garbage. Can you imagine what your Christian God would say, watching them write that crap, write stuff that even the most time served, totally committed, fire and brimstone Preacher would think twice about posting. IT’S ALL FAKE, like you…

See all that shit is just more ‘Rules for Love and Success’ from the ‘Clickbait Culture’ user manual, handed out to ever bigger waves of increasingly ‘Micro’ Influencers – rule number 6 = ‘find a bandwagon and jump on that puppy, fast’, hell invent your struggle if you never had one, get yourself a tribe of wannabe ‘bulletproof worthies’ so you can monetize those fuck wits ASAP. That is not what we mean at all…, this POST is VERY personal, it’s about why YOU CAN NOT CHANGE, WHY YOU ‘REALLY’ DO WHAT YOU DO, even if you don’t actually want to – it actually is the TRUTH, should you be able to understand it. We are not playing the angles here, looking for an edge – we already have the ultimate one, the correct method. Yes, I do understand all this social media crap is the ‘new normal’, I know that is what FAKE societal morality has become these days – commercial storytelling for profit. BUT WE REALLY don’t mean ANY of that, hell that’s not even what morality is about, that is being done for MONEY.

See, I mean we understand YOU, at your core, at the ‘level’ you are at, we understand how your mind works at that level as a process, why you have gone to such extremes, and are going to explain that to you, even though we know – that you know – you don’t really deserve that kindness. Yes, we have all done it, ‘once upon a time’, much as I’d bet my story is more interesting than yours, but mine is from ‘back in the day’, old school, when it actually used to be better to BE an ‘original’, a line I still choose to take as a compliment whenever I hear it… Ahhh, well… at least you are not just one more little ‘Love Island’ clone eh, justifying your stereotypical nightclub sexism, dramatic grandstanding, and petty nihilism on the basis that they are ‘only in it, to WIN it…’. Cringe… but don’t worry, I’m sure one day you will find your perfect camera lighting to match your perfect pair of shades, then them ‘beeeyatches’ better ‘watch out’ for your ass, eh… (Sorry, could not stop myself – I know you are too old for even that to help now…)

‘Ahhh, c’mon matey…’, you yawn, ‘everyone knows everything on social is fake garbage done for profit… and nobody cares, they are all full shit, nobody believes a word but everyone rubs along cause we all do it, where the harm, we get paid. So what is the point of going on about this then…?’ The point is simple – in this day and age YOUR morality, your values are defined by social media, which is about the segments of the marketplace you belong to, that is what you actually get told by the algorithms, NOT by the Truth. When you read about ‘levels of consciousness’ you naturally assume that this is also to do with the same bullshit morality you are used to seeing, designed to reinforce your own silly little opinion. So you NEED TO KNOW, right at the start, that levels of consciousness have absolutely fuck all do with your fucked up version of morality, either your distorted and largely geographic political views, your personal hedonistic views of loyalty or honesty, BUT most of all it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTIAN MORALITY.

Your level of consciousness is to do with MENTAL SPEED, and your perception of that speed of your consciousness in relation to your level of DRUNKENNESS. Got that? Nobody serious has ever cared how this age or that one has EVER presented their values, they CHANGE ALL THE FUCKING TIME, in just 10 years some of the oh-so-PC values you fake everyday will be looked on as ‘neanderthal’, just as you look back 10 years and wonder what they were thinking to release that TV show. It’s all ‘valueless’ bollocks and it always was, done for effect, what we are talking about here is what new agers get confused about when they talk about your ‘rate of your vibration’. It has nothing to do with anything you currently understand, so pin your ears back and focus, we are going to tell you the truth today…

Sound good? Yes… we are going to let you off the hook, BECAUSE THERE IS NO FUCKING HOOK, you fool – you ARE AN ANIMAL, so you are just scared of ‘what people would think’ if they knew, x/y/z about you, your so scared you will go to huge lengths to ‘pretend’, BECAUSE YOU HAVE LIED YOUR ASS OFF FOR THIS GOOD TIME , JOB, BENEFIT OR GOD KNOWS WHAT. So, yes we know that it’s NOT your fault you are such a fucking mess, you have just followed the hedonistic herd, so now you need to reinvent yourself, again… But its funny, is it not, that just 1 year ago you would have largely got away with the carefully crafted PR story that is your public ‘truth’, all that fake-worthy, virtue signaling bollocks created to redefine your ‘heroic’ life story as your personal ‘brand’, latched on so very carefully to some ‘movement’ you can ride on the back-off – ‘you’ have suffered and learned and triumphed exactly as per your chosen ‘archetype’, hell folks don’t even need the detail… Sorry, (not sorry), but these days folks actually just ‘wince’ at your naivety, before sticking their fingers down their throat and coughing a quick ‘bullshit’ behind their hand, especially all the ones who actually knew you. Not that WE are judging of course, oh no, we are not interested enough to do even that, yet – sadly, your level does not merit it, ‘you’ are still a civilian after all.

Ahh public morality, that ever-evolving crock of shit, don’t you just love it, how tribal and perverted it is all now. See all of this actually means you have NO VALUES, you have the morality of the moment, of your gang, which you readily adopted to punish your enemies while throwing it away in a second when it threats your friends, family, partner, lovers, or most importantly a potential sale… However daunting this looks on the page, you might as well face it matey – YOU ARE VACUOUS, you are trivial, self-absorbed and OBSESSED with what you THINK, moment to moment, so you are changeable, BECAUSE THAT IS your LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS. See we live in the ‘vacuous age’, the age of the echo chamber of social media, but hey, what do you care, you are so low down the food chain of life you don’t even know your own opinion until you row with someone, choosing on the basis of your either like or dislike OF THEM… SO FORGET YOUR VALUES MY DEAR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO EVEN USE THE WORD, THIS IS ABOUT YOUR LEVEL…

Ahhhh… you guessed it.. this post is ACTUALLY about your ‘low level of consciousness’ as that ACTUALLY DEFINES your level of presence, and is itself the low level that defines the modern human condition, your condition, the condition that is keeping you stuck in this same old cycle of shit you cannot seem to escape, the condition you have become ‘addicted’ to without even knowing it’s ‘there’, without even really knowing what your conscious awareness actually is. See, you have never bothered to manage it – ‘it’ has just happened to you, like everything else in your life thus far.. See we know you have been slowly wasting your potential, and hence yourself, ever since puberty hit, and your low, ever decreasing level defines how you ‘think’ all the time, and is therefore what you have ‘become’… And what an awful waste to behold, I mean, dammmnnnnn…. do you actually have mirrors in your house…?

See way back when, as a kid, you did not have these problems… you once tried to ‘live UP’ to the level of your gift, maybe even into your early teens, before society with its systems of education and indentured slavery beat you down, choking off your sense of ‘connection’ to yourself, to your passions, to anything ‘real’ and made your mind into a machine for learning stuff BY MEMORISATION – REFLECTING ON YOUR THOUGHTS TO MEMORISE THEM. So now you can only think like an animal, to ‘pattern match’, the easiest way that even your little stray cat can do – you can only ‘remember’, ‘recognize’, and ‘guesstimate’, over and over and OVER again. You have no way out of this thinking, you literally can’t stop it as this FORMATORY thinking is all you have… It’s that, or ‘no-thinking’…

This crime totally distorted your gifted level of consciousness, forcing you back down into a ‘one size fits all’ mold of thinking by treating you like an animal that has to be broken, domesticated and indoctrinated, then just stopping and leaving you to hang, to figure the ‘rest’ out for yourself… The bastards eh? And those bastards have been doing it since the dawn of civilization… Really, do you remember what you were like as a child? Bet it was totally different to what you are now, eh, bet you used to be ‘quality’, quite ‘something’, even…

Yep… if any of this development stuff is going to work WE HAVE TO GET PRACTICAL NOW… we HAVE to make this path ‘real’, relatable to your own state of ‘consciousness’ – what any real Development PATH IS ALL ABOUT, in the everyday sense of it. So we are going to explain why you don’t really know what da fuck you are ‘Doing’, why can’t make any changes in your life, however much you want to in your more ‘reflective moments’, when you try to see through all the accidental randomness of your existence before deciding ‘you’ were ‘right’ the whole fucking time, because you HAVE TO BE, cause your patterns tell you so, because they are a load of circular bollocks that should NEVER BE USED FOR REAL THINKING…

Ahhhh, maybe it’s no harm you are deluded in a way… otherwise, you would be mad as a hatter, would you not? I’m mean look at what you have done, do you have the smallest clue why you have done it, or are you just desperately justifying in retrospect, desperately scrambling around for any ’causes’ that retrospectively can be used to ‘create’ your ‘effects’, letting you off the hook, after the fact, projecting your own low-quality bull shit as always… because you have no fucking clue what is really happening, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY ‘PRESENT’, IN IT.

So this is IMPORTANT – we know this topic is the core of the modern mindfulness movement, of presence meditation, all this new age crap, so you may ‘think’ you know it, BUT you really don’t. The modern corporate mental health or new age self-discovery movements ‘play this down’, because they don’t actually know it, they are fooling themselves – it is WAY worse than you think it is. However, the more hardcore 4th-way paths have a tendency to say dramatic stuff, like you are ‘asleep’ and need to ‘wake up’, which is poor teaching in this modern world – you cannot relate to it, as obviously you are awake, however much you live in the past.

We do this the old school way, the real way, we use the Zen model, that everyone can relate to, that you are DRUNK to a variable degree ALL THE TIME, and the reason you don’t see it is that your IDENTIFY with your thoughts 100% so you don’t notice the ‘speed’ of them AND your IMAGINATION fills in the gaps in your model of reality to compensate, just like it DOES WHEN YOU ARE INTOXICATED WITH ALCOHOL. But you never actually sober up, so you can never actually SEE IT, you have nothing to compare it too, you just go on believing the fantasy world of DRUNK you. That is why this DELUSION owns your ass… ALL THE TIME.

See BEING DRUNK means you are REALLY BLOODY SLOW, you ‘sample’ reality at such a slow speed you are missing most of it and that is at the core of the reason you are not Present in your everyday life – you have slowly got used to operating at a fraction of the conscious speed you should be and still could be, of how you did as a kid. And now its become a massive problem you HAVE TO FIX – YOU HAVE TO SPEED UP THE LEVEL OF YOUR CONSCIOUS AWARENESS, OTHERWISE YOU CAN NEVER BE PRESENT IN THE REAL WORLD OF ‘RIGHT FUCKING NOW’, without external help. All your gifted mental power and speed is now WASTED on the daydream of Over-Thinking – your fantasy reality, where times fly’s by, where you have to check everything thrice, where you bump into things you ‘did not notice’, where you quickly forget and so are always ‘confused’, where you ‘missed’ what just happened because your world is the fantasy world of a DRUNK, a badly remembered ‘echo’ of a reality that happened a while back…

Lets face it eh… You usually don’t know what you are going to say before you hear yourself say it, let alone self-check it against the instinctive, pattern matched, out-of-context, formulaic, low-level bollocks your animal self keeps churning out  – Christ, half the time you have to get into an argument before you even ‘know your own mind’, which is one step up from a vegetable in our world. And it’s just going to get worse because your AWARENESS IS ‘STUCK’ IN THE REFLECTING ASPECT OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, something that should only ever be used for LEARNING. You have forgotten ‘how’ to be Present enough to be able to self-check in the NOW, so your animal self, with all its basic mechanisms, is in TOTAL CONTROL – THAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM DENYING YOU THE USE OF YOUR GIFT.

So, yes… this is the post where we tell you what ‘Power Over Yourself’ really means in terms of its CONTEXT, what the problem is that it is designed to FIX, and being Present is essential FOR ANY DEVELOPMENT. But its NOT an easy Ride… sorry – you need to get that you are well and truly stuck at a VERY low level of consciousness, no matter how gifted you are, and what the actually means in ‘reality’, and I mean ‘your’ little reality….

Interested? Ok then… so why is such a topic SO relevant for the GIFTED, for YOU? Know that anyone can develop the ability to be present ‘in the moment’ for a second or 2, but this topic is CRUCIAL to ‘you’ Because ONLY the Gifted have the POWER to develop actual Free Will in the ‘moment of action’ – TO CHOOSE. So, sadly, it’s bloody essential on our path, but most paths of the Left Hand teach it very badly, to the point that more often than not they bypass the whole discussion and try and fix it in other ways, by just forcing the process of ‘making you conscious’ and then kindly telling you after the fact – ‘hey, Viola! – now you are enlightened’… kind off…

But that is not US, we are up for it, if you are…? Indeed I’ve been praised many times over the years for my ability to teach this, I have built my reputation on it in certain circles, to the point they all wonder why I leave it this long at the beginning to tell you, why I don’t even make it a Secret? Because it requires you to be ‘ready’ for it, so I hope you are, as this can come as quite a shock – see if you cannot develop free will, you are just an animal, you are better off NOT TO DO THIS, as some folks go a seriously fucking nuts when they achieve some level of self-consciousness but can do nothing different – it feels like you are ‘possessed’. And I’m not joking…

WAIT! Don’t just stop now, be brave… read on… do you not wanna know why gifted hedonists (like you) love sex SO very much, no matter how you get there, who it’s with, why it happens… BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY TIME YOU ARE ACTUALLY PRESENT, IN THE MOMENT. It’s the only energy in your life that is strong enough to bring you back from the tedious bloody daydream you live in, lift your ‘level of consciousness high enough to do that, TO MAKE YOU PRESENT BY DISABLING YOUR REFLECTIVE ASPECT OF CONSCIOUSNESS, TO CHANGE THE CRAP WAY YOU NORMALLY THINK.

Gotta love that, eh? Shame its only for a moment or 2 though, shame it fades and goes so badly wrong later, shame you never develop it into actual ‘free will’, too. Yeah, ok, maybe you have already graduated to gambling, danger, maybe even the odd body piercing to get your fix of ‘the present’. Kinda doubt you have gone the Aesthetic route however, no ‘CILICE’ for you eh (chain thigh garter so beloved of our Catholic friends in Opus Dei), or priestly ‘Hair Shirt’ (made so famous by that royal wannabe Thomas a Beckett), much I would not be surprised it ‘suffering’ figured in there with some of you – sharp, random, unanticipated pain works for everyone who needs a hit of the present, works fast too…

Ahh well… at least, after reading this a couple of times, you will understand why I go ON and ON about how proper stupid living like a foolish little animal is for the gifted, why we PITY YOU, why we pity all scared and scratchy little stray cats, in fact. See to live like your beloved 4 legged friends do, at an animal level of consciousness is fine if you actually ARE an animal, but you are ‘human’, you are taught the basics of consciousness from childhood (normally…) BUT sadly then you just STOPPED, and went after comfort… So now you are a ‘domesticated’ animal, a cow in a farmer’s field, no longer one or the other, stuck between the two wondering what the fuck to do – see, they ‘forgot’ to tell you the rest of it, the bastards.

Before we start, know that this is a primer for the Secret of Deputy Steward, to let you know why Deputy Steward is ESSENTIAL as Deputy Steward is a HIGHER LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS. This post is to motivate you in THE RIGHT WAY, to get you to read the next set of 3 secrets BECAUSE OF THE SINGLE BIGGEST ISSUE IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW – YOU LIVE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS + REFLECTING MODE OF THINKING = LIVING IN THE PAST, SO YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN ANYTHING YOU DO! Even if you are forced to DO something else, you go right back to normal, soon as you can – your EGO can’t stop it, your EGO is a virus-infested computer made up of your Nature (everything you have ever done) and your Mind State (how you think), it spends its time responding to things in complex BUT predetermined ways.

So here is my attempt to teach this, not perfect, no, we have to focus on the experience of a small subset of folks, the gifted, and within that the ‘gifted hedonist’ – YOU. We have to try and be precise, otherwise, this may put you off for LIFE, and we have failed. See, you won’t believe it, you won’t believe you don’t have free will over events, even your own mind, freedom to decide, and even when I prove it to you in the next few para’s, you will still want to cling on to the GREATEST ILLUSION in normal life but you are just lying to yourself – YOU CAN NOT DECIDE WHAT YOU DO, it is dictated to you by your little animal self who simply compares your now to what happened in the PAST and makes a judgment, without even bothering to explain it to you. There is no need you see… YOU are so ‘pissed’ on cheap white wine you would not know reality if it bit you in the face, so animal you gets off scot-free, every single time he fucks your life up. And I mean over and over again…

Get it yet? Awesome…. but there is no point in just reading about this, understanding it.. you literally can’t think your way out of this mess (your thinking is your problem), you need to ‘see’ it, first, then you will be motivated to change the whole way your conscious awareness works by clawing your way back to be present in the now, so you can start controlling your animal self, rather than be controlled by it… Ok? You need to see your Old Bull first, before you can tame him, and then climb up on his back and ride the fucker home, as Zenmen say. Otherwise you are just as mad as the rest of them, often much more so…

So you better believe it baby – ‘GIFTED BITCHES BE CRAZY’, everyone is, at the start…

Awful Truth – YOU live at the Level of Consciousness we call  ‘Self Obsession’ = YOU ‘THINK’ BY REFLECTING IN YOUR ‘PRESENT’, ON THOUGHTS GENERATED BY AUTOMATIC PATTERN MATCHING IN YOUR ‘PAST’. Your conscious NOW is actually in the PAST, but you THINK THOSE THOUGHTS ARE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, so you think you can change them, as they are happening in your present. Bad news, the moment has gone… you are just playing catch up. To a greater or lesser degree, ALL ‘unschooled’ people ‘live’ in the DRUNKEN daydream of ‘reflected’ animal consciousness, so they are Self Obsessed… You live in a ‘delusion’, a self-created daydream, that you believe is true because you believe you live ‘consciously’ in REALTIME, but you don’t – the ‘reflecting action’ of conscious is in the past by its very definition, as you are remembering a memory of what just happened, you are not experiencing it directly. What you are experiencing NOW is actually in the PAST but all your ‘reactions’ HAVE to be made in REALTIME by your animal self AUTOMATICALLY, otherwise, you would already be dead. And no matter how random you think your thoughts are, they are all just one, big, complicated pattern-matched ‘reaction’ to events. The only way to fix this is to be CONSCIOUS IN THE RIGHT FUCKING NOW, SO ‘YOU’ CAN CHECK AND DECIDE BEFORE WHAT HAPPENS ACTUALLY HAPPENS, NOT AFTERWARDS.

Think about it for a second… Creepy eh? Something else you have no direct awareness off is thinking for you, and only bothering to show you what it has ALREADY DONE after the fact. YOU ARE A PASSENGER IN YOUR OWN LIFE, DOOMED TO DO THE SAME CRAP OVER AND OVER, AS YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE IT YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT – IT HAS ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED. BUT you think those are your thoughts, reactions, and decisions you are making right now, BECAUSE YOU ARE DELUDED.    

So, first I must convince you that you have this problem, so please, if you have heard any of this before then please erase that from your mind… we don’t try and fix this directly with never-ending self-questioning (is does not work for modern people outside of a regimented Zen-style monastic environment, where you can be ‘forced’). We don’t say this means you are ‘asleep’, as that is only really true for ‘animals’, we say you are ‘deluded’ by these patterns, by your ego in the moment. See if you are Gifted you ALREADY know something is not right, you already sense that, and therefore have, every now and again, have some ‘self-consciousness’, usually wasted as some form of Over Thinking. We say you live in a ‘daydream’ because you are ‘drunk’, and therefore your whole life is an accident because you only reflect on your life after it has happened, you don’t actually make it happen…

Weird, eh…..? Don’t worry, if you are Gifted your self-consciousness ‘capacity’ is actually sitting there, waiting to be used, you just don’t know how to DO it yet, how to rise above the Bull of your animal self and Ride On It – actually control yourself. If you are not gifted, this is a very long and usually pointless road, that can drive you mad.. You have been warned, AGAIN. Remember the state of Identification/Attachment is the very definition of the animal level of consciousness – you have NO SELF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE MOMENT OF ACTION, you are ‘absent’ for a split second until after, absent ALL THE TIME, unless you make the effort ‘to be present’. To be self-conscious means to be at the wheel looking out the front, instead of ‘in a memory’, looking out the back, wondering why the fuck you just did that… BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT.

But you think this is happening ‘now’, that you can change things, but it isn’t so, you can’t even try and see ANYTHING unit after it has happened, even your thoughts… And its not even your fault you can’t change – see every time ‘you’ disagree with an ‘apparent’ thought or action ‘On Reflection’ you have to go back and say ‘no’, this thought is better, at which time the original animal pattern just comes back at you straight away and says ‘sorry, but did you not fucking hear what I just said…’. So you row with yourself AFTER you (the boss in that moment) have decided ‘rationally’ what YOU want to do…. And it does not matter a damn to the animal, so back and forth you go, desperately trying to establish a new, stronger pattern, to beat down that stupid, self-destructive one, the one that just wants to get harmless little you to the ‘Lost Soul’ category on the self-sabotage spectrum ASAP, cause ‘hey’ – that would be so fucking cool, they snigger, ‘let’s destroy them’, they cackle, ‘they are clearly dumb as a post, I wonder what we can get them to do today’… Yep, your animal patterns have a tendency to go all ‘Dog in a Manger’ on you (look it up), even if you do push those fresh new patterns, you so desperately need to make your OWN decisions, past the old one a few times, let it fight it out back there in the ‘Now’, that new one is usually so imprecise, weak, and temporary it will fail the next time you are disinterested, and the animal, still happily making ALL your decisions ‘behind your back’ in the NOW, will go right back to its old feckless little ways.

So you just give in, totally oblivious to the knowledge that if you were just PRESENT in the ‘moment of thought’ you could stop that thought happening AT ALL, as you sense it forming – Zenmen call it ‘being before thought’, cutting thoughts you don’t want off at ‘the roots’. Then, when you have taken the next step to develop actual Free Will, you can replace those animal patterns with what the-fuck-ever you have actually decided rationally. But NO, you go on managing yourself by proxy, and frankly, most of you don’t even know how to build a decent new pattern, let alone modify an old one, so you are stuck with the shit that was burnt in at childhood. How dumb is that..?  You not only have to rely on ‘reflection’ to see yourself, you don’t even know how to use it properly.. so you don’t even know HOW to GROW UP! But if you were Present in actual REALTIME, you could see those old, self-destructive animal thoughts before they ‘land’, see them on the way ‘up’ and snuff them out like a candle, before they land, so they have NO Power at all to affect you… See that is what old Eckhart Tolle actually means by his version of Soto Zen – The Power of Now, as the NOW is the only time you ACTUALLY HAVE ANY POWER TO CHANGE ANYTHING. We prefer the original ancient Greek – Enkrateia (ἐγκράτεια) = POWER OVER YOURSELF, as we are trying to tell you what it means, rather than what it ‘is’, much as there are many other Zen phrases for it that you will also not understand, because you are STILL DELUDED…

Seriously… do you get just how fucking INSANE it is to ROW with ‘yourself IN RETROSPECT, because YOU think its ‘NOW’? Yep… to get this you HAVE to go ever so slightly ‘CRAZY’ – you have to accept that you are ALREADY DELUDED, in the nicest possible way, of course. And NO, it does NOT matter that everyone else is too, this is YOUR problem, right here, right now – YOU can ‘change’ back to what you used to be and then ‘realize’ who you could BE, most of them can’t because they were never really ‘there’ to fucking start with…

So you have to make a big leap – YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT ‘YOU’, SITTING THERE READING THIS, ARE ACTUALLY SLIGHTLY MAD, DELUDED BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL BE MOTIVATED LIKE NEVER BEFORE TO ESCAPE THAT MADNESS AND DEVELOP THE ONLY ABILITY THAT MATTERS AT THE START – THE ABILITY TO CHANGE YOURSELF. Then you will be ‘on the path’, and nothing can prevent you from changing because you KNOW that you are DELUDED, at an institutional level, you can see it… AND IT FUCKING HORRIBLE.

So believe it – you are actually deluded, you do live in a fantasy world every second or every day, you are only conscious of anything AFTER it has happened, SO YOU CAN NOT CHANGE ANYTHING at the time unless you are forced to externally, and your patterns WILL HATE THAT EXTERNAL FORCE FOR IT, however good they are. ‘You’ operate like an animal through your EGO which has NO POWER TO THINK RATIONALLY at the moment of decision, it simply selects the appropriate response from a big list of ‘normal you’. BUT I must make YOU TRY to choose rationally, so you can ‘SEE IT’, see that the ONLY thing you can do differently when you can get close to ‘present’ in the ‘moment of decision’ is to sense what you are about to DO and STOP WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO DO, so you can see there is NO rational process in YOUR moment of decision. Got that? At your current level of consciousness, it is a strictly binary deal – here is what your patterns want to do, you let it happen or you stop it… that’s it. And right now you can’t even do that…

It’s a truly magical, scary, disturbing Ride, BUT its the only way to fly. Have to say, surely by now you have started to wonder why I’ve not given you any spiritual practice to start, any meditation like all the other spiritual types you read about…? It’s because right now that would be a TOTAL WASTE OF YOUR TIME, as you cannot DO anything at a sustained level that you are not already programmed to DO AUTOMATICALLY. Worse, even the most gifted amongst you would get frustrated and QUIT, telling yourself and the world its all bollocks, cause you can’t do it…

And worse still, you are RIGHT, you can’t change a fucking thing inside yourself unless you are forced to, forced to go against yourself in some basic ‘mechanical’ way by folks like us. See you are DRUNK all the time… . You are actually watching a movie of what just happened, as that is how the Reflecting Action of your conciousness works… Yeah I know… to see your current level of insanity is HARD…. so this is one of the hardest of all posts to be frank as you have to find a way to relate this to yourself – the ‘free will vs determinism’ philosophical debate, anyone? No? Ok, then just so you know upfront, BOTH are true, but only for the GIFTED WHO TRY, the rest of you are slaves to the ‘music of the night’… Be very clear now – YOUR LIFE IS ONE, LONG, SLOW MOTION ‘ACCIDENT’ – YOU DON’T DECIDE ANYTHING IN THE MOMENT UNLESS YOU ARE PRESENT.

Now, before I hit this one more time from another angle, let’s define some terms so you get them, what we mean when we generalize and use the phrase ‘Level Of Consciousness, which is a largely theoretical shorthand for several separate aspects of your overall BEING, what makes you ‘up’, because to use the detailed versions of them is VERY confusing for normal folks. However, lets skip through it briefly: Your Level of Consciousness consists of 3 things – Your Nature/Your Mindstate/Your Awareness, and they are all quite separate in themselves BUT they work closely together, so closely that at your level and for some time after you cannot separate them. In time you will naturally separate your Awareness from the other 2, before your Nature separates from Mindstate BUT that is years of lucky dedication away. Indeed, you can develop quite far on this path without ever needing to do any off that, if you are not determined to understand it, but to see all 3 separate aspects of your Consciousness separately is a truly awesome thing, as it was of the ultimate goals of Zen – it allows you to see into your own Nature in Real Time, and that leads to a level of knowledge that cannot be beaten. Right now we keep them together because that is how you experience them, as Your Level Of Consciousness, easy enough eh?

However, lets just give you enough detail to satisfy your curiosity for now, whilst perhaps explaining some holes in the above that the smarter ones amongst you may have spotted. Your Nature is just EVERYTHING that makes you up in a static way, its is ALL of you, the storehouse of you, from the dumbest little memory of yesterday to the ancient Essence first used by your bloodline a 1000 years ago, somewhere long ago, over the fields and far away. It is where you come from, and it is the only real part of you, it is the only bit that is a memory bank, the rest of you uses this to exist, these are the memories and hence the instructions, the source code and the mpegs together. Somewhere in your Nature is the REAL YOU, well hidden under all this other crap. Your Awareness is the opposite of this in many ways, its YOU NOW, in the here and now, as you read this and then read some more, YOU are the one looking through the window, YOU are the one who can be present or deluded, near or far away, asleep or awake or (usually) anywhere in between. YOU are you the Observer, which is actually totally separate from Your Mindstate, but so far you can not split them, so YOU as a whole ‘Consciousness’ work together, AS ONE and that is where this whole problem comes from. See Your Mindstate is effectively what you are conscious of internally, BUT it also controls everything you experience, not just your thoughts, so primarily it is one big FILTER. It is ALL process and it DOES NOT REALLY EXIST, it is a function of its materials provided by your Nature and its Interpretation by your Awareness, You the Observer. Your Mindstate is how your mind works (normally, every day), and is in itself defined by its level, right now primarily the Animal level of Attachment, which causes you to Identify with and then Pattern match everything it shows to your Awareness via the filtering function of your Nature as ‘My Thoughts’, like a computer screen. It’s a mechanism, a bridge, a buffer, and many other things besides, but it works like a Skyscraper, like an office block, you build up from the bottom, improving and fixing as you go, until your mindstate becomes ‘perfected’, and all these mechanisms disappear. Right now, your Nature, your storehouse is dominant, it owns you, in time however, your AWARENESS will far surpass it, and become so powerful that it is what you use to control both yourself and many other things – BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO MAKE YOUR AWARENESS MUCH BROADER, MUCH DEEPER, BUT MOST ALL MUCH FUCKING QUICKER.

Now, you may wonder why I am going to this trouble to explain how ‘level of consciousness works in terms of this post, and it is this – it’s VERY important you understand your level of consciousness as a combination of all 3 of these factors above, and changes to these define how your thinking CHANGES as you evolve, how your EXPERIENCE of the world and yourself ‘improves’. But it is even more important you understand that all of this is VERY doable for Gifted types, indeed, some even end up doing it accidentally. For example the ‘Reflective Action of Consciousness’ is a function of all 3 of these aspects and is currently how you experience EVERYTHING – it is YOU, which is why its such a problem because it has grown to dominate your Mindstate, instead of being one smaller part of it that you can turn on or off at will. Now, obviously, you don’t just use this mode of your conscious life all the time, it is one of several modes, sometimes you are sleeping, sometimes you are in flight or fight mode, sometimes you are in high pain or pleasure and you cannot do anything else, even think, BUT this reflecting mode is how you ‘think’ as a process, what makes you believe you are here, and it is now, and you have free will. It is not designed to do that and it is frankly CRAP at it, it is LEARNING MODE, that is all you should use it for, other things are designed to give you your sense of yourself in the context of this world, things you have most likely never heard of or experienced, but with a little effort, you can. Yep, these next states of consciousness are NOT some mythical new age B/S, they are what you should and could be everyday, you don’t have to worship the devil, find gods love, or sacrifice your 1st born to Kali to achieve…. they are routinely attained by many high achievers in our everyday world, at least at a low level, for example, many elite Golfers, Climbers and Martial Artists achieve what a Russain scientist codified as ‘Flow State’ (which we call Self Consciousness), when you are hyper-conscious of yourself and your goal, but without interfering, BECAUSE they don’t need to, they are that good, their patterns just need to be left to get on it with it. They are Self Conscious without control. But you are damned to mediocrity because no one ever took the time to tell you how to ‘be’, Self Consciously, you had no goal or focus in your early life, so you have made it up as you went along, which has turned you into a Hedonist, as its the easiest way to be – SO YOU STOPPED EVOLVING. And now you are trapped…

So here is what TRAPPED means – YOU are LOCKED into the mental state of an animal, trapped by your level which is dominated by x3 things = Pattern matching to Your Attachments because your Low Level of awareness Identifies with them as you, it can’t see above it.. The whole life of an animal is dominated by powerful unconscious mental patterns responding in pre-determined ways to random external events BECAUSE you can not rise above the conscious level of your EGO and see it all ‘separately’ to yourself. Your EGOIC thoughts, actions, instincts and emotions are a CHAIN, THEY ARE LINKED TOGETHER, they are a sequence of responses to the responses they then get from outside. You have no choice to do what you DO, it is set in stone, A follows B follows C, after every external response, that starts slow before washing away your ability to STOP IT, so your EGO, ‘creates’ your Self Will – you just act it out, over and over again. See your EGO does NOT THINK rationally, it chooses those responses automatically from a very big stored list. Only ‘YOU’ can think rationally, but you are not present, so the ‘train’ of YOUR life runs on ‘rails’, pathways that we laid down years ago, often before you were even born, and that’s is HARD to take.

See, you don’t see it because you ‘Identify’ with all these mental reactions very strongly and your Self Will commands you to just DO IT, NOW. You ‘think’ that what you actually think is a ‘choice’, but it’s not, ‘you’ can’t yet choose, the ‘animal’ you think is ‘you’ actually does the choosing ‘for you’. BUT You think you DO have a choice, because ‘YOU’ think in RETROSPECT, you REFLECT, you ‘remember’ what just happened and make it into your ‘now’ – you think that ‘reflecting action’ of consciousness is happening in real-time, because you compensate for that time lag in your imagination, and that lag ‘disappears’. And that is how the whole con job works because THIS INSIDIOUS MECHANISM MAKES YOU DRUNK, YOU ARE ‘SLOW’, ‘UNSTEADY’, AND YOU NEVER SOBER UP, SO YOU NEVER ‘SPEED UP’, YOU NEVER SEE IT. Indeed as you develop more and more layers of your EGO you just get drunker and drunker, more and more deluded, further and further away from the present, until one fine day the outside world decides to ‘correct’ you, when even in this drunken state you realize there a VERY big gap between ‘your’ drunken reality and what is actually fucking happening. Nasty way to go…

You have to get this reality, you have to be motivated by it…..Honestly, have you never wondered why you only feel a shock AFTER it happens, after a short gap, why when you get knocked out cold you NEVER feel the blow? It’s because 99.99% of folks on this planet are not there, in the moment, to feel it… Yep, its not just the odd occasion when you know you were ‘lost in thought’ (that’s when you a TOTALLY absent) it is ALL THE TIME TO ONLY A SLIGHTLY LESSER DEGREE. Really, if you are fully conscious how the hell do you not notice, say, when you unconsciously start swinging your leg, cracking your knuckles, WHY does it take a moment to ‘realize’ you are doing it, even a few seconds later, even when you feel total ‘present’? It’s because there is a DRUNKEN time lag in your awareness, and that time lag is concealing your REAL decision-making process. Folks can drive their cars from A to B on a regular short trip every day and have NO RECOLLECTION of the journey, how is that? Because they were not present, they were lost in reflective thinking about nothing, they actually risk their bloody lives every day by doing so.. just one little thing happens that their pattern matching animal self cannot cope with, and bang… Maybe the next accident is the one that kills you or kills other people, maybe not, but trust me, you live by the ‘Law of Accident’, as the Russian 4th Way calls it, and sooner or later those accidents become fatal…

Yes.. IT’S BLOODY OBVIOUS WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IS IT NOT?

So burn this into your mind now – at the start of this path there is ONLY ONE THING YOU CAN CHANGE YOURSELF, without us forcing you to do mechanical things – to develop the magical ability to actually change, to choose, as that gives you the ability to DO, to make any other changes you wish. You CAN NOT use the ‘reflecting mode’ of your mind to do this, you can not use the existing, corrupted mode to change the existing corrupted mode of your mind, YOU CAN NOT PATTERN MATCH HOW TO FIX PATTERN MATCHING, it’s ridiculous – you actually STRENGTHEN that mode by using it to try and change! You have to start again, learn to steer your mind by different means, by literally catching back up to the natural state of ‘Presence’ you had as a child, of ‘Watching Yourself’ with NO PATTERN MATCHING, ‘the mind of no-mind’, as Zen men say. And the POWER to watch yourself, the Level of Awareness required to look down onto it, to penetrate down through all the layers of your true nature which are ‘beneath’ that hugely filtered animal and simplified thought, past your trivial that ‘animal mind’ state, ONLY comes from a higher level of consciousness…

What the forced mechanical learning process you learned as a child has done to you is turn the ‘use’ of your mind in a simple tool for learning stuff by reflection, and just left it there, stuck reflecting. Reflection, the state of consciousness based entirely on the MEMORY of the animal state of Attachment/Identification has then become your permanent state, somewhere in childhood or a little later, and you have got stuck… This stuckness is what has made you deluded, drunk… It is TOTALLY ARTIFICAL, it’s actually a form of madness, because it creates a 24/7 delusion, and one that does not even really work that well because of the time lag, SO your mind has to fill in the gaps to make even work… Indeed, the delusion of the recent past actually being your present is the ONLY way this works, so there are gaps all over the place… UNDERSTAND – THIS CONSCIOUSNESS DELUSION IS A CONSTANT FACTOR IN YOUR LIFE, NO MATTER TO WHAT DEGREE YOU CAN CURRENTLY RELATE TO IT, HOWEVER MUCH YOU REALISE ‘IT VARIES’.

So know now – the whole focus of this teaching is simple – YOU ACT DRUNK BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO SLOW, YOU MUST LEARN TO CATCH UP TO YOURSELF SO YOU ARE CONSCIOUS IN REALTIME. And you must learn to maintain that level of consciousness 24/7 because to ‘latch on’ to that level of your consciousness takes time to ‘fill out’, you must practice as much as possible!

Yep, this is about the SPEED you work internally – that is how you notice this, indeed one of the key tells for gifted is how quick their mind works, however the unschooled types abuse it. You must get faster, so you ‘sample’ reality faster, so you feel time passes slower (like in a real emergency…), so everything is a hundred times more ‘vivid’ (like good sex is…), so you have a much higher level of control and detail available to you every second (what Christians call the ‘Grace of God’…). Those samples of reality MUST get faster and faster, so closer and closer to the right fucking NOWNESS you need to hit. 

You will know when you get close to this when you can ‘sense’ what you are about to ‘DO’, as that pre-emptive sensing is actually ‘in’ the right fucking NOW timeframe we are after here. It’s no good just watching yourself like a brain-dead new ager (that is just ‘remembering’ yourself in the near but still past), YOU MUST GET FAST ENOUGH TO SENSE YOUR NEXT ACT COMING. Only then can you develop the control that = ‘Power Over Yourself’.  You must accept this and fix the core issue in your life, you must RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, which will make you present, and then ALL change becomes easy…

Yeah, I know.. you are not going to do it…. See, you believe you ‘have’ a choice between this or that response, YOU NEED TO BELIEVE THAT OTHERWISE YOU ARE INSANE (… becuase you are!). So you delude yourself… YOU ENGAGE IN THOUGHT ‘AFTER’ YOU HAVE DONE IT – YOU CAN SEE THE CHOICES YOU COULD HAVE MADE, BUT ONLY ‘AFTER THE FACT’. Indeed your ability to see the alternatives is the VERY definition of ‘after the fact’ BUT if you were actually present, if you were self-conscious enough ‘to see your coming reaction’ in ‘real time’, see what you wanted to DO/SAY/ACT OUT right before you did it, then you would know your ONLY choice was to continue on with the chain or stop and DO NOTHING, then you KNOW you were present.

You, the little old animal you, simply do not have an alternative in your mind until you are reflecting, (you can’t have one by definition), you DO the next step in the chain or you DO nothing. Got that? Good, ’cause it’s really bloody important – it is the ONLY VALID TEST FOR BEING PRESENT AT A SELF-CONSCIOUS LEVEL THAT MEANS ANYTHING ON THIS PATH.

To explain so you understand – you did not consider your response IN REAL TIME, even if you paused for a moment, that pause was still pre-determined – in reality, you were ‘TRIGGERED’ INTO IT. The whole conscious life of an animal is LIVED SLIGHTLY IN THE PAST, AND IT IS CRUCIAL YOU GET THIS. Fucked up animal you only ever ‘remembers yourself’, what you did, then you ‘own it’ (you have no choice or you are crazy..), you next skip to justifying it, (so your ego remains ‘right’) BUT in truth its all TOTAL BOLLOCKS – you do not DECIDE AT THE TIME. You live consciously ever so slightly in the PAST, so you cannot DO anything – you are a spectator at your own boxing match, shouting advice at someone who has already lost, bloody and broken on the canvas… But all this NEXT BIT is for the relevant Secret of Self Consciousness, which will arrive after the next x3 Deputy Steward ones because you have to master the Sense of Connection secret first, kinda dangerous otherwise. Yes, I will give you some prep at the end of this mail, show you at least how to improve your existing animal level, but the mechanisms you need to Level Up your speed by the orders of magnitude you need for real development will wait until then. 

Convinced yet? Hope so, cause that is your lot for today, read it again if you need to… if you still lack the motivation to read the next 3 secrets. The only thing I would add is to return to how I started this post – the B/S that is modern, Social media Morality. See the real reason for that speech is this – one of the first things that will change when you start to become PRESENT, and start to raise your level of consciousness is YOUR VALUES BECOME IMPORTANT AS YOUR GUIDE. Indeed, you will develop real values, start to HAVE an actual, personal morality, which is based on LEVELS, on what is RIGHT FOR YOU AT YOUR LEVEL, what helps you develop (GOOD) against what harmer your development (BAD) at the start, given you are starting as an animal and therefore these will come as quite a shock to animal little you… It is a very personal thing that is based on the sense of actual connection you have, but its important to start to pay attention to this, as it is the very best guide for you to develop, FOR YOUR SPECIFIC ESSENCE = REAL YOU. You cannot predict that generally because what you do now that ‘feels good’ may well be infected with parasites, so you need to develop first before starting to trust it, so you can see why you do it IN THE MOMENT, rather than just habitual weakness.

Just know that the fabled sense of honor you develop is VERY SPECIFIC to people at and above your level, as per your Character Class (for the gamers among you), and therefore what is TRUE between some people is very different between you and the animals. All I’d say is that don’t underestimate just how much ‘your animals’ secretly HATE YOU, however much you think they are easy meat, it is a fools errand to be nice to folks who quietly seek your destruction, just because you think they are ‘nothing’. Sure Be as nice as you wish, no one benefits from being a monster in public, but be ready, willing and able to dispose of them once the ‘time’ has passed, and you realize they are killing you softly through their mediocrity. However much easier you THINK it currently is to hide in the normal, to pretend to be animal to avoid responsibility IT NEVER WORKS FOR ANYONE. Don’t let the ‘shit in your life’ pile up around you to the point that you start breathing it in every day, IT WILL STOP YOUR DEVELOPMENT DEAD, RAPIDLY AGE YOU, MAKE YOU SICK, AND SLOWLY START TO KILL YOU. You must understand that the awful, meaningless morality of society, to whatever extent you actually follow it, ENDS NOW, it’s all total crap anyway… your values, political/personal/spiritual are those of an animal, momentary fear and self-interest, dressed up to look like Social Media morality as it suits your convenience, they are the values of insects, with the society and family overlays being the values of an Ant farm. They are the values of Law and Order and Production, they are enforced on you for your own protection, you follow them out of fear and self-interest, you don’t actually believe them, you USE THEM, so every little value you shout out on Social, accuse others of not having suits you to do it… it is willful self-interest – YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT. To HAVE REAL VALUES YOU MUST FEEL THEM CONSTANTLY AND BE GUIDED BY THOSE FEELINGS, THEY ARE THE CONTEXT OF YOUR CHARACTER. Animals can’t do that, animals don’t even have the beginnings of a ‘conscience’, they just get scared… a lot… Ok?

Before we leave this one here is a couple of last bits, some useful stuff, some requests and comments answered. Normally we ignore such requests until they are relevant, but we are going to do the most common ones now, as its both useful to know and will fix a lot of the errors you will otherwise make. You are creatures of the modern world, so you need something to aim at, don’t you, no matter how far away that is… you need something you can judge your progress against, whilst knowing how you actually make that progress…

So, this 4th way focuses on Spiritual Evolution NOT Sudden Enlightenment, and it’s important to be clear about what that means. You are not going to experience a one-off, permanent transformation after years of dedicated preparation, you are going to climb a ladder, from one state to the next in the jacobs ladder esoteric sense of it. Those states are REAL feelings inside you and require you to be both internally aware of yourself and able to hold some level of focus to investigate. Those states become real when you LATCH ON to them, which is a very specific thing – you feel a difference inside you at an energetic level, a pseudo-solid thing, and you hold on to that state by using your awareness until it grows to be there all the time. If you don’t do this you won’t progress, as you will lose everything that happens to you, that you develop, by not latching on to it, so the next level will be impossible. The failure to understand this damns most Left-Hand paths at the very start – all beginners THINK this new feeling will simply ‘come over’ them, like a ‘night terror’ or some temporary increase in your awareness and stay forever. It never works like that at the start, all sudden changes in feeling are temporary and PASS very quickly because you reject them without knowing it – because you are still the old habitual animal you, and you can’t change… BUT if you can use your internal awareness to find out what is different and LATCH ON to it, YOU CAN CHANGE, and the first thing you change is living in the past like an animal…

To illustrate this I think it’s important to take a sidebar and explain the model that will shortly become the central focus of your development – How You Develop YOUR Level of Consciousness, which is separate to what your Consciousness is, as I summarised above – you need to know both in overview but only the single model has any practical value at the start. Yep, on this 4th way your level of consciousness is the core MODEL we use, much as its NOT the key mechanism (Catharsis) and not even the 1st goal (Power over yourself) it IS the journey, it is the key standard you use to judge your progression on this journey. It is the LADDER you are climbing. So perhaps its time you understood a little better eh, understood where you are and where you actually wanna be?

We will generalize for now to keep this simple, so know Consciousness is a ‘thing in itself’, so has both a quantity (a rate of vibration/freq) AND a quality (an amount in terms of amplitude) – your rate/quality is the experience of the raised level of consciousness personally, and the quantity is how easy and how long you can maintain it, broadly speaking. The most important thing to understand is that the level you experience, you feel is defined personally by your ‘Character’ which you should experience as a change in your background ‘mood state’, which you are usually unaware off. This is what you notice ‘changes’ as your level changes, both through the ups and downs of the day and overall as you climb the ladder, latching on to higher levels of vibration. The best way to sum up these changes, for now, is that ‘you’ get progressively higher ‘above’ yourself to the point you disassociate from the old animal you in terms of your conscious awareness, whilst the stage set of your mind also gets much broader and quicker in terms of what you experience. These are all aspects that grow from where you are and change by degree, and are often accompanied by the key visceral ‘thrilling’, at a skin level, even in the core of your being via the increased vibration, or the powerful connected feeling you get from the increased amplitude, with the ‘afterglow’ of good sex with someone at or above your level being a VERY good example of both at the same time. This is priceless, but also a bit of a curse when your level starts to get a lot higher, as the opposite happens with lower life forms, where the afterglow turns into ‘fallout’, where you tend to feel much weaker, tense, defiled even, and it can last for many hours/days, so you end up getting real choosy, waiting for the gifted to improve themselves even. BUT the main additional element you will start to experience in time is the fabled, full-blown, ‘conscience emotions’ coming ‘upon you’, out of the blue, as they are the preferred mode of communication of the spirit world, if not the only one. These emotions are massively more powerful and deep, and over time will totally redefine your personality all by themselves, so there is no need to fret about being better, or moral, those things come by themselves, as a result of improving your level. And they are NOT what you think they are, ie fake, worthy Christian Morality, they are best described as REAL moral ‘virtu’, which is way more rock ‘n roll than you would think – very RAW.

The KEY to climbing the ladder is QUANTITY, not momentary quality, as quantity enables the essential latching on mechanism because it makes the same feeling ‘stronger’, more definite in terms of its amplitude – momentary increases in quality happen all the time for many reasons both spiritual and biological in nature and tend to be disregarded, they are way to small a change to even notice. You MUST be able to maintain your level otherwise you will forget it, so it is usually wise to under-rate yourself in terms of the level until you are sure it’s there all the time. Quantity is also key in terms of day-to-day life, as everything normal you do uses up your consciousness, lowers the amplitude of your vibration, so you must get used to the concept of conserving yourself by NOT doing stupid stuff, which is what all spiritual morality is about. Breaking your state of animal attachment to stop Over Thinking and (particularly) not expressing negative emotions are the big keys to this, as both are INCREDIBLY draining. You must also manage your consciousness in terms of your relationships and life focus VERY wisely, which is the reason I go on and ON about parasites as much as I do. Spending time and focus with folks who are well beneath you (particularly animals) in terms of level, (god forbid actually having sex with them) is hugely draining – you screw yourself, damn yourself to ever-increasing mediocrity in the process, takes your health and your looks too – yep, you lie down with dogs, then you catch ‘fleas’…

Be clear, your level of consciousness encompasses both Quantity and Quality, as even the lowliest gifted sensitive types can momentarily vibrate at a higher level of quality, whilst having no quantity to back it up, so its important to understand that your level is your ‘constant level’, not occasional one, otherwise you will just delude yourself all over again… In terms of naming these levels we take a mid view – we don’t go to the extremes of Zen by having only 2 or 3 on this journey (Arhats/Boddhisattvas et al), but we don’t go mad like Daoists or Freemasons and try and name literally 33 of them, we keep it meaningful in the sense that you can sense the difference, so its actually useful. At the beginning, all you need to know is that the first levels of consciousness, that you can easily attain if gifted are these – Dead/Animal Consciousness/Self Obsession/Deputy Steward/Self Consciousness (no control)/Self Possession (with control) = Power Over Yourself = Grand Style of Character. The vast majority of Gifted folks, even Zen masters et al NEVER get beyond the last one, as it requires a huge amount of dedication, and good ancestry, but some do and it’s a very wild ride indeed, as the next one involves the acid test for Zen Patriarches – Seeing Into Your Own Nature. Proper scary. It is important to repeat so you understand, your LOC varies throughout the day, and at lower levels (where there is not much difference in terms of magnitude) you can often be conscious of moving between 3 separate levels over time, depending usually on how much you ‘waste yourself’…

Right now if you are reading this voluntarily you will be at the level of Self Obsession = Animal Consciousness + Your Gift + Hedonsim, so you will have some level of conscious awareness but only in reflection at quiet moments – you will still think like an animal. It can be a VERY difficult place to be – much easier to be all Animal or all Deputy Steward, which is why you keep getting ‘dragged back to hell’, as one of my old enemies likes to say it. Everything is now focused via these posts in our system on getting you to Deputy Steward, to the initial Aristocratic level as fast as possible using the latching process – we show you what Deputy Steward feels like in terms of that quality of consciousness and then its up to you to both conserve what you already get from your gift MUCH better AND develop more using the next 3 secrets to make it your constant ‘character’, underlying mood. Therefore is good to understand that all conservation techniques build Quantity, while most developmental techniques tend to improve Quality first – you have to do both for rapid progress. We do all this to make it REAL for you as soon as possible, as most unschooled gifted folks normal mood state is usually quite bad – full of self-loathing, failure and fear of the future, old age, poverty, loneliness and death, and that is shit frankly. We need to get you above all that as quickly as possible, so there is actually hope for you, therefore we will also introduce the secret ‘Washing’ techniques, as the 3rd aspect of this equation, once you are past the start – you have to scrape off a lot of the crap, the fleas that are sticking to you…

There are numerous ways to raise your level of consciousness manually, some are simple everyday things, some require spiritual practice and above those, there are some full on ‘event’ type stuff. These techniques all need a next-level understanding of Consciousness Quality, as some increase that vibration slightly but easily (useful for maintenance), some are more advanced and can temporality achieve next levels states whilst in the moment (meditations), and some achieve transformations (Big External Shocks), that are permanent if you are ready for them. Having said that they all fall into 3 categories – Resonance through Absorption/Internal Skill (Gong)/Focused Catharsis. All of these will be explained later when they are useful but range from absorption into a high vibration ‘living’ source like a rose or a flame (Resonance), through the use of posture and movement (Gong), to the full-blown use of Cathartic sex and suffering, all the way to massive, life-changing Cathartic Shocks that need deep meditative states to ensure your survival. Certain drugs can also be used, as many softer drugs actually raise your vibration if the strength is correct, such as tobacco (also lowers your libido and aggression so used a lot by certain types of gifted), and caffeine (the Zenmen drug of choice, usually in Tea), but stronger class A stuff like hallucinogens should be avoided unless you want them for mental health or pain issues. BE CLEAR – Most drugs lower you level of consciousness in order to achieve their effect, particularly Alcohol, Weed, Coke, and related stimulants, they pull you back down to the animal level by design and should be avoided – they only feel otherworldly to people because they live like animals, in reality, they are just tiny, quick hits of very minor moods swings. For the highly gifted the drugs you already have ‘in you’ are WAY more powerful, and what you take is mainly just stupifying your animal enough so you can feel it… The worst drug of all however is Sugar, Starchy Carbs, as these create HUGE energetic issues inside you that become quite permanent at higher body weights, as they ‘soak up’ your consciousness, even in the gifted. Keep your food as ‘live’ and fresh as possible in the key, but particularly avoid ‘grains’.

Now a little treat for reading this far….. there are some exceptions to the normal wait till later rules this time, x3 in fact, that you can have a play with now if you wish, have a go at this spiritual method stuff in a small but effective way. The first one is Music or Music+Dance – it’s an everyday experience of Resonance through Absorption methods above AND works on both Quality (Frequency) and Quantity (Amplitude). Music truly does have the power to lift your soul higher, but can also work in the other direction, and for most gifted usually does, ie it lowers your level of consciousness into a very basic animal state, leading to aggressive and aroused like mood states, driven by very simple, loud ‘beats’, poured directly into your ears, in nightclubs, at festivals. However, managed effectively, music, particularly complex, high tone and loud music, can HUGELY lift your state higher and bigger, and should not be underestimated – Wagner every one? Ahh… go on, you might surprise yourself… The trick is to be very calm and follow the music with your mind, as very high-pitched or complex music requires you to speed up your vibration to do that.

Next is Laughter, whether forced or otherwise… yes, this is ONE of the best quick fixes, and why a lot of spiritual folks tend to piss themselves laughing rather than get mad. See this one is a very quick release, and is useful in the moment of stress or tension, to push back against it, to stop something which may seem compelling but in the context of your life is a bad idea. Laugher sort of lifts you in a way that breaks the spell of wanting to do something you know will hurt later, that is too risky for the reward involved, that is frankly just the animal in you ACTING UP. Try it, I and many other folks I know use it all the fucking time..

The Third is the weirdest… and the best – Yawning. Yep, forcing a yawn and then letting the actual desire to yawn take over the fake yawn as you do it. Works every time for the gifted, if slowly until you get used to it, but the power it gives lasts more than Music and Laughter, lasts longer and stronger, so use it wisely. Indeed its best used to help your resistance, when you are being forced to do, or to not do, or act out something you are certain is a bad idea, when you need that higher vibration to strengthen your existing will, because you starting to feel it is easier to just give in, and suck it up. It makes you strong in yourself, in support of yourself when you know you are right, its just everyone else doubts it, or wishes to control you for their own purposes, which can happen quite a lot to gifted folks with bad parasites…

Lastly – it is very useful to understand just how much MORE conscious you can become in terms of the orders of magnitude involved, as it will help you understand the scale of this. There is a tremendous difference in scale between the levels, in fact, these jumps in scale are the real definitions, much as they are not linear, they are exponential. To simplify for this post, between Animal level and Deputy Steward is a multiple of 100 in terms of vibration, VERY small, but between the next few you quickly get into multiples 10,000s, even 100,000s. These are big jumps, and they have to be made correctly, in sequence, because otherwise they are just too removed from your current level to even grasp onto for a moment when they appear.

This scale jumping issue has always been and will always be the biggest issue in spiritual development, the glimpse of a better level than you can’t get to stay because you are too far below it, so its really important to understand just how bloody crucial the ‘latching on’ process is, how essential it is that you perfect it by rigorous practice and increasing levels of internal sensitivity at the start. Otherwise you will fail out very early in your development, probably turning to a form of worship in the hope that something will make you more conscious, which is a fool’s errand. We here on this path pride ourselves, in the usual understated way of course, on fixing this issue, so we will actually give you physical techniques that help with this latching process very early, methods that actually speed you up by themselves, so all of the early stages can be achieved VERY quickly. Yes, they are dangerous, all high-end stuff is, so know semi-permanent insanity is always waiting there in the black felt background of life for the Gifted ANYWAY, you were actually born in ‘harms way’ as that is part of what you have. Just know that these techniques suit some types of essence more than others, but if there is anything of the Witch in you they will be VERY effective indeed, BUT you will still need to produce the energy to increase the quantity of this consciousness, the amplitude, otherwise they won’t stay, you cannot grasp them… got that now?

Finally – Yes the realization you can not change YET is what this post is about, BUT PLEASE remember you can not attack this issue head-on, you will just make it WORSE by trying to ‘remember yourself’, ‘self-observation’, at the moment – neither of which do ANYTHING unless you can raise your level of consciousness higher enough to have the Power to actually do them, rather than just imagine it. We must create that step function of Power in you first, show you how to use it, and stabilize you at that level, as per the next 3 Secrets which lead to the first ‘real’ Level of Consciousness on this path – Deputy Steward, temporary awareness of yourself, the first step to control, but usually only with enough control to sense what you are about to do and stop it. At that level there are no alternatives, it’s the next step in the chain or nothing. But then we consider you to be ‘serious’ and will treat you as an equal because of that, BECAUSE YOU HAVE REALISED THAT YOU ARE DELUDED, MOST OF THE TIME, AND JUST HOW FUCKING DANGEROUS THAT DELUSION IS. Then you are one of us, you are worth the effort.

Best know the acid test for any kind of real, permanent Presence is simply this – you must be conscious of both ‘Self and Other’, of both Subject and Object, of both You and what you are focused on because it is impossible to stay in the linear reflective action of consciousness whilst using a ‘split awareness’. When you follow the correct instructions this new state of partial, temporary Presence will happen by itself, like magic because you don’t need to think about it – we teach it as the Secret of Walking, not one single thought required when you have learned it… If you just think about being present, your reflective action of consciousness will just rip that thinking to shreds, as every modern meditator knows – ‘reality’ changes to ‘imagination’ so subtly, so quickly its hard to spot, and then you are just reflecting, again… But the correct way will change your life forever.

Later, when this change becomes a permanent rather than a temporary State Of Mind you will be able to adopt a whole other Character, based on holding an overall Subjective Context in your mind that you apply to every Objective reality you deal with – you hold a new model of yourself in mind while you doing any bloody thing, so you will never be fooled again, what folks like me call the Grand Style of Character, as that is what it feels like. Then, AND ONLY THEN, will you have control, to use or not as your life situation requires, because once you have fixed the animal it can be left to get on with most of the otherwise normal aspects of existence, and you can save using yourself for the important stuff, the REALISATION OF THE REAL YOU AT YOUR ESSENCE IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS PATH.

Quote to end as always – one of those special ones that brings the real purpose of this post to life. See gifted folks, particularly the highly gifted tend to have problems, often one big lifelong one, or one big type of one that recurs over and OVER again, often of the ‘dog in a manger’ variety. These problems seem to happen with ever-increasing intensity to unschooled hedonists who run away from development and refuse to engage… Why? ahh, see their life-defining problem seems to be designed to help them, help by FORCING them to build themselves AGAINST that problem so they can get strong enough to ‘get away’, ‘win’, or ‘put it right’. Otherwise they never learn and eventually lose, everything. So you should know that ‘overcoming’ these problems goes a VERY long way to raising your level of consciousness, often replacing the entire front end of the Left-Hand path – that is the point of them, as there really is no escaping your Gift…

My favorite quote in this regard has always been the Zen classic ‘The Obstacle is the Path’, (I have T-Shirts with this on..) but today I’m going to risk the New Age version, however kicked to death it has been on the social, a bit of Joseph Campbell no less, just to make the point that I do occasionally read my Chats. I have no admiration for the literary style of JC, you understand – the Heros Journey stuff is hugely overwritten, what some call an ‘exercise in style’. No, its just that his quote does get across one other BIG benefit to raising your level at the start – it makes you a shit-load BRAVER. See many Gifted types, brought up as slaves just like you, suffer from being ‘gutless’ more than just about anything else, at the start, so it should be clear, with little or no reflection, that your cowardice is actually your REAL issue. Without that ‘automatic fear reaction’ everything BAD would literally disappear – for the gifted the ‘accident’ of your life turns around a central focus, it has a ‘point’ you don’t understand hiding deep in your ‘nature’, everything happens because of it, as its waits for you to grow the balls to find it…

‘The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.’ – Joseph Campbell

Laters..

TOB

PS… So YOU got to the end… COOL, congrats and well done. As this is a KEY explainer and motivational post on this PATH I’ll try this one more time, as it is that important.

Know – YOU MUST NOT let your PAST decide your future, it’s FATAL… so try not to let the defensive trench you once dug, long ago, made so comfortable, and filled with little randomers to keep you company BECOME YOUR GRAVE… There comes a time in the life of every highly gifted person when they realize they MUST help themselves NOW, when they realize that the ‘stops’ they need to get off their own little Crazy Train are not only ‘thinning out’, they are about to ‘run out’ – TIME SPEEDS UP AS YOUR POWERS DECLINE. Best know that you are already transparent, contrived, and obvious, even to yourself, but the reason no one does anything to HELP YOU is that NOBODY CARES, not even you, your behavior simply does not merit that, much as some others ARE more ‘deserving’. See you DESERVE what has happened to you because YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO, that betrays your level, AND YOU DID THIS, nobody else is to blame, don’t matter how you justified it in retrospect… Please, take a moment to feel that, take RESPONSIBILITY for that, as THAT IS WHAT THE START OF THIS PATH FEELS LIKE…

I know the hardest thing for you to do at the start is let go of your secret, competitive ‘cleverness’, so know it is little more than an ugly, broken old suit of armor you once protected your fragile real self with – nobody believed it then, so they sure as hell don’t believe it now, indeed, you are just humiliating yourself. Why is that, do you think… what obsessional little fantasy has your EGO invented so you can ‘fight on, with (out) honor’, who really are all these heroes and villains you so desperately TRY and CONTROL, do you think they even know you’re alive..? I’ll give you a clue, THEY ARE ALL JUST YOU, FIGMENTS OF YOUR IMAGINATION PROJECTED ONTO OTHERS.

There is no need to cling on to your illusions after you (and everyone else) has seen through them, simply BECAUSE you don’t have fucking clue what else to do –  NOBODY IS KEEPING SCORE. See, you DO know what to DO now, don’t you… Maybe you STILL even remember when you used to be ‘something’, before your life-defining problem made you into ‘this’, well… whatever the hell ‘this’ is today, eh. Time to TRY then, little else to lose now I’d say, as you are not in Kansas now Dorothy, and even ToTo thinks you’ve lost the plot – everybody knows everything, they always did… To paraphrase JRR Martin’s favorite, if well-intentioned, curse – ‘I wish you good fortune in the WARS to come’….. so given the ‘dead’ are still coming, it may well be time to stop fighting amongst ourselves, eh…

SO Remember who you used to BE, before your life became a memory… and ONLY PLACE YOU WILL EVER FIND THAT IS IN REALTIME. So, set yourself the challenge RIGHT NOW – there are ONLY 2 states of Being left for you – PRESENT OR ASLEEP, so start to fill your life with everything that gets you slightly closer to PRESENT, and remove ALL THE CRAP THAT TURNS YOU IN A DELUSIONAL, COMFORTABLE, MEDIOCRE, DAYDREAMING LITTLE TOOL, you have already DONE THAT, and that state is a CRIME you are committing against your REAL NATURE…

You getting this yet…? Understand why we have to force you at the start yet..? why no decent teacher even tries to be ‘nice’ and appeal to ‘your’ existing level of consciousness at the start…? why you HAVE to be shouted at to EVEN get started…? why ANYTHING you CHOOSE to DO at your current level of consciousness is a total waste of OUR fucking time…? Understand why you have to be challenged before you can actually DO anything…?

SO… it’s time to SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT you bitches, then you can be HELPED in a pleasant, cool, fun and respectful way, as then that kindness may actually WORK. Until then every single one of these posts is DESIGNED so the mediocre tools of the world hate them, to filter them out, and only the ones who are drawn to it, even though you also hate it, bother to TRY. Yep… we are that CLEVER – see in the realtime world of RIGHT FUCKING NOW, that level of cleverness does not rate a fucking mention. IF YOU ARE NOT PRESENT IN THE MOMENT YOU ARE FAKE AND STUPID, SO THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU – OK?

PPS (in response to a particularly tedious set of questions) OF COURSE you can wear a CILICE type reminder if you want to, as it WILL HELP get you started – there is a reason this ancient tradition has survived into the modern era. Just no Opus Dei crap eh, no actual spiked chain belts, please. Keep it gender and age-appropriate, and keep it ‘invisible’ in terms of its real meaning, as your significant others will INSTINCTIVELY hate this change in you and try and stop you… For example if you still consider yourself a ‘young’ women (and you should), wear a tight thigh garter or ankle bracelet that is pretty, sexy that you can keep on ALL THE TIME, even when you sleep, and only remove to wash, have a few different ones is ideal. For men where something on your wrist, a heavy Celtic style bracelet is best I’ve seen, particularly if there is anything of the Celtic in your bloodline, but even a leather band is fine, just say it for your arthritis or some shit like that… If you MUST have the matching tattoo to your Cilice location (and its no harm really) keep it old school, no tramp stamps, no tribal crap, no ammo belts, no dolphins, no faces of ‘stars’, no messages to the world at the beach, and particularly NO DRAGONS/DEVILS, particularly on your shoulders (as those will fuck you, make you clumsy, accident-prone), no comedy shit, eg thumper the rabbit on your ass etc. TATTOOS ARE PERSONAL, so a natural one is best, say a neat, high-quality band of roses with thorns, done in colour is the best I’ve seen on a thigh, and NO Kanji or Sanskrit text you don’t really understand. Keep anything you cut on yourself in the tradition of your ANCESTORS, ie you will NEVER better the presence reminder that is ‘Amor Fati’, even ‘Tempus Fugit’ but just whatever THEY would understand is crucial, something from the Medieval 4th way traditional of ‘Courtly Love’ for the romantics amongst you, even. If you are ever going to have anything cut into your back (you can’t bloody see it… really?) then go big or go home, for example, big branch of cherry blossoms can feel (and look) amazing if you have any Asian extraction, just no fake gangster crap please, you are not a Yakuza, are you, so no carps jumping out of your heart or anything in a hex pattern – some of those tattoos mean things you don’t want in your life…

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