Following quickly on from Part 1 – Excellence as Character, you must take what you learned and start Part 2 – How to Exercise ‘Power Over Yourself’, THE KEY SKILL FOR THE GIFTED IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE. Yep, its time for ‘More God, Less Dog’, one of my fave lessons on this path…
But there is a bit more to it than that, see this is the one where we give your Deputy Steward a full-time job, so you can relate to what he/she is, and start to TRUST THEM, cause you can’t trust ‘yourself’ at all, can you. Yep, your False Personality CAN’T order your animal self around, you need your DS for that, kinda the trick to this – to use your Gift consciously while stopping ‘what is happening to you’, unconsciously…
See, YOU REALLY NEED KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR GIFT, as ever since childhood it has pushing and pulling at you, with your quick mind, your strong emotions, your NEED TO ‘BE’, TO DO FUN stuff, BUT YOUR SOCIETY HAS FUCK ALL IDEA OF HOW TO TEACH YOU, the Gifted, TO USE IT, your society prides itself on averaging you down to NORMAL. So you just made it up as you went along, tried your ‘best’, and made a total mess of it – you are stuck with habits that piss away your emotions, your birthright through drama, fantasy and hedonism, anything to get some relief from the pressure inside you.
Yes, your Gift HAS to be used, BECAUSE IT WANTS TO BE USED, it won’t just sit there waiting for you, so as I’ve said before many times – it’s NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT IT IS YOUR PROBLEM. See your Gift builds up and up, before forcing you back again and again to these learned ‘self-destructive’ behaviors, back to your strong emotions, back to anger, danger, violence, overthinking, sex, back to your need for escapist fantasy, to live in your imagination after every single thought, losing yourself in some pointless fantasy that starts as a fucking shopping list. These habits are cut in your mind as habitual patterns so they are ‘YOU’ NOW, YOUR ‘EGO’ HOLDS THE REINS, that is, of course, UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH IT, use it correctly, AND TAKE BACK YOUR POWER.
So this post is going to SHOW YOU WHAT TO REPLACE THAT SHIT WITH ON THE FEW OCCASIONS YOU CAN STOP YOUR OLD PATTERNS AT THE START, and exactly how that works SO YOU SEE THE BENEFIT OF DOING IT ALMOST IMMEDIATELY – YOU FEEL GOOD AFTERWARDS, rather than drained and stupid…
For the rest of this POST, know that what I going to teach you today is to do things you currently believe are impossible BECAUSE THEY ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR FAKE YOU. But you, the Gifted, can ONLY do this if you are prepared to give up certain activities you use as comforters, fantasy, escapism. See this is the LEFT-HAND PATH, we live in the real world, whereas you ACT OUT, you live in your imagination even when you are doing stuff, you imagine loads of crap that IS NOT TRUE, you think by daydreaming, by binary comparison, you lie to yourself that your Opinions about yourself and the world are TRUTHS, and they are not, are they – THEY ARE ALL FAKE BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR FAKE SELF, AND THAT BITCH NEEDS SOME ‘MANNERS’…
The power you USE on all of that is the SAME power you need to CONTROL YOURSELF, so you don’t actually need to fantasize – you can HAVE A REAL LIFE WORTH LIVING. As a Happy Hedonist you KNOW that this is all about ‘feeling it’, as that is what you ‘live for’, and we can use that to help YOU GROW, so that is where you must start – WE MUST USE YOUR ADDICTION TO SENSATION TO GET YOU STARTED ON A NEW WAY OF LIFE. I tell you now, in all ‘truth’, this is the Magik of the Left-Hand path, but you must ‘pay’ for this Magik with the ‘money’ you currently waste on crap. Remember this…
See this is why we LOVE hedonists on this path – not only CAN you be helped, you actually NEED to be helped, and you will find it quite EASY to be helped, once ‘you commit to it’, by committing to giving up worthless shit for something WAY BETTER because it FEELS BETTER. Don’t get excited however, I’m not going to teach you the correct way to do ‘Black Tantra’ just yet (you need some serious level for that shit), but do know many of you will look back later and laugh, when you realize you have been chasing some form of it for decades with no clue it was perfected thousands of years ago as a way to destroy your ‘Kundabuffer’, (Sorry Gurdjieff) your self-obsession.
In many ways everything is easy once you break your self-obsession, that feeling that you, with your EGO centric shite, are important in some way, your truth has any meaning at all, that you matter in your current powerless and pathetic state as compared to what you could be – you must get the scale, the level of your existence, as right now there is ‘…Rock Bottom, another 40 feet of crap, then YOU’ (Sorry Rachel). This whole need for IMPORTANCE IS RIDICULOUS at your current level, a factor of your domesticated animal condition, your continual need to BE CLEVER, TO CHASE POWER OVER OTHERS is what animals do to temporarily FAKE the feeling of POWER THAT NEVER WORKS, it’s an illusion – the only real power is POWER OVER YOURSELF, your lack of which is what you are trying to compensate for with all this shit. But I digress…
Just try and keep in mind for the rest of this post you are going to trade in your stupid, worthless habits of associative thought and action for something MUCH BETTER, as you don’t even really ‘think’ do you, you ‘pattern match’ automatically – you are led around by the nose like a cow. So you MUST replace them with something that will feel much better, as WE NEED TO MAKE YOU INTO SOMETHING WORTH KNOWING IN THIS WORLD. Yes, you need to get that right now you are Trivial, your life is TRIVIAL, you think about trivial things in trivial ways, because you HAVE to think about ‘something’ – YOU STUFF YOUR MIND WITH POISONOUS CRAP, and that has to go baby…
YOU ARE ARISTOS NOW, you have thrown that switch, made that change, you are a level above what you used to be, SO YOU MUST ADOPT THE STYLE OF THAT LEVEL RIGHT NOW, so everything has a ‘point’, has a ‘value’, or it’s gone – your MENTAL fantasies are worthless now. So better get used to FEELING PHYSICAL SENSATION as a form of thinking, and actually thinking WAY less than you currently do – STOP FILLING YOUR HEAD WITH TRIVIAL NOISE, YOU NEED MENTAL ‘SPACE’ TO NOTICE YOUR SHIT WHEN ITS ABOUT TO HAPPEN AND STOP IT. See Aristocrats think about the issue, make a decision and set a goal, OR decide you cannot make a decision, AND THEN STOP THINKING – they go right back to FEELING and ENJOYING the sensations of your body, ‘watching’ passively (with no movement) or actively (with focus and movement), continuously checking and adjusting your posture at the start. Easy really…
But most of all, MOST OF ALL, you need to reframe all this negative shit as A TREMENDOUS OPPORTUNITY, something the vast majority of folks don’t have – YOU CAN USE ALL THE VAST WEALTH OF YOUR GIFT TO DRIVE CATHARSIS, TRANSFORMING YOURSELF IN THOSE SAME MOMENTS. See at these moments of high emotion, WHEN YOUR GIFT IS BURSTING OUT OF YOUR SEAMS, just before you ‘lose your shit’ again, you CAN CHANGE HOW YOU DEAL WITH THAT MOMENT AND GROW, KEEPING ALL THAT POWER INSTEAD OF LOSING IT, AGAIN.
See instead of YOUR gift flowing down and out, it should flow upwards and inwards, CRYSTALLISING YOU, helping you BECOME YOU – THAT IS WHAT IT WANTS YOU TO DO, that is why ‘you are the way you are’, that is what IT is screaming at you, you have simply missed the point all these years. You have plenty of the ‘money’ you need to buy your dream life, you just waste it on cheesy crap in an attempt to compensate for how shit your current Life is, AND HOW FUCKING DUMB IS THAT. It also helps to realize that ALL your current need to ‘fake’ self importance, to ‘fake’ power over others, to LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL IN ORDER to LOOK better than others, is you simply trying to be a slightly bigger ‘cow in a field’, and so is utterly pointless – YOU ACTUALLY HAVE POWER, OR YOU DON’T, THERE IS NO FAKING IT, YOU JUST LOOK DESPERATE.
So instead, why not put your time and effort into thinking about how to GET OUT OF THE BLOODY FIELD, BREAK DOWN THAT FENCE, KILL THAT FAT BASTARD FARMER AND BE FREE. It is hard to describe how this feels at the start, best way I’ve found is to say it is the difference between ‘being a character’ in a computer game, blindly following all the rules and instructions as they come in a continuous sequence, to actually being the player controlling that character, with a much broader view of what is happening and what you are trying to do – TO HAVE SOME CONTROL, SOME WILLPOWER, SOME CONFIDENCE IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A ‘PLAYER’.
So must learn to ‘play that game better’ at the start, make the game ‘fun’, like an Alpha tester, before you move on to ‘breaking the game’, like a Beta Tester – the game is the real problem, and tricks are for kids, baby. See like all the best players, all you really want is the cheat codes, so you can jump straight to the bits you like while being unstoppable, invincible, dressing up your character to look cool, original, sexy, as no matter how much of the game you now realize is ‘there’, you are still fucking stuck in it. You need to play your own game, by your own rules, so you can ‘exit’ this one and BE WITH THE OTHER GROWN UPS.
Got that..? Cool, so it is time someone showed you the correct way to use your Gift instead of being USED BY IT, by both stopping its continual waste and using it to GROW, how to be Aristos… Today, I’m going to teach you Part 2 of this – how to ‘Ride’, how to be an ‘Equestrian’, in the ancient sense of that word to Ride, to control your animal self with your thoughts, rather than having to go through your EGO, your ‘acquired self’, what 4th wayers call ‘False Personality’. See, if you are a domesticated animal, then that EGO is all you ‘are’, but Gifted folks have a REAL YOU, so your learned self is FAKE YOU. You, sitting there, reading this are not all Fake, and some of Fake You is useful as an autopilot, once you have fixed it, but large parts of Fake You will be self-destructive, totally unconscious, and totally AGAINST YOU DEVELOPING YOURSELF. Understand that Fake You is a ‘creature of habit’, simple, powerful habits, Fake You HATES new stuff, change, BUT MOST OF ALL for the Gifted their Fake collection of EGOIC patterns is what is ACTIVELY STOPPING them from ‘finding themselves’. And I really DO MEAN ON PURPOSE…
See right now you still believe you are an ‘I’, you are one entity, and you are not, so you must get used to the ‘starter’ concept that you are 3 entities inside you, that all act independently of each other AND ‘you’, because ‘you’, the window of your consciousness, is a simple Observing Eye, a ‘security camera’, who does nothing and just goes along with everything BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN UP. So we have to fix that too, we have to bring in Deputy Steward to actually look at that camera screen, then TEACH IT HOW TO SPOT FAKE YOU, as ‘you’ are TOTALLY CRAP at seeing what your Fake Self is ‘doing to you’ – you are too slow and it is too fast, so you TRUST the bitch so much you have given her power of attorney to make your choices, forever. At the start YOUR OBSERVING EYE, ‘I’, IS YOUR RESET BUTTON, WHERE YOU CAN GO TO BREAK INTO YOUR PATTERNS AND START TO SEE THEM, ‘SEE’ FAKE YOU IN ACTION WHEN IT MAKES BAD DECISIONS FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO STOP IT, AND START DOING OTHER STUFF. At the start your DS is the part of you that is interested in doing this development, the bit that will get you to ‘observe yourself’ and later large bits of Real You will start to gather around this, as they see it is their chance to HELP YOU BECOME YOU.
Now…. you don’t see that FAKE YOU is a PARASITE, an unnatural growth on your soul that should not exist, because ever since childhood you have progressively sided with it, over and over again, AGAINST your Real Self, your conscience-level emotions, your appreciation of beauty for its own sake, WHERE ALL YOU POWER RESIDES. You believe Real You has been sent to spoil your life, to stop all your fun by making you feel bad, because you don’t know that fake fun is FOOD FOR YOUR FALSE SELF, INSTEAD OF CATHARSIS YOU NEED FOR YOUR REAL SELF. Real You is NOT trying to stop your FUN you fool, REAL YOU NEEDS IT TOO, BUT IT IS TRYING TO STOP FAKE YOU STEALING YOUR BIRTHRIGHT VIA MAKING YOU DO STUPID STUFF CAUSE IT MAKES ‘YOU’ THINK THAT SHIT IS FUN, IN THE MOMENT.
See Fake You is a CONMAN, FAKE YOU HIDES ITS TRUE INTENTIONS, but REAL YOU is your life force itself, and Deputy Steward is his righthand man, his ‘vanguard’, the vehicle YOU need to enable your conscience in your day-to-day life, empower it so Real You can access you, and eventually GROW OUT of Deputy Steward all the way to the MASTER. So you need to GROW UPWARDS, that is what ‘Grow Up’ fucking means, not just to age or become mature, it means to RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, because you can start to look down on the feckless bitch of Fake You and laugh, as we do – YOU MUST START TO SEPARATE OUT YOUR OBSERVING EYE FROM YOUR FAKE YOU BY NOTICING AND JUDGING YOURSELF IN A KIND WAY WHEN YOU MAKE MISTAKES AND THEN MOCKING YOURSELF. THIS WILL SLOWLY SOLIDIFY INTO YOU ‘BEING’ YOUR SECURITY GUARD, YOUR DEPUTY STEWARD, AS A DAY-TO-DAY REALITY, AS A ‘HABIT’. Then Fake You will slowly become more and more passive, sometimes even under the control of your DS, and you can start to GROW, rather than SHRINK – your DS can tell FAKE YOU to fuck right off with all its semi-suicidal crap, as you ARE IN COMMAND NOW…
Yes, at the start Deputy Steward is simply the HABIT of self-observation as a form of thinking you do as much as you can – YOU FEEL YOURSELF INSTEAD OF THINK YOURSELF. It replaces the shit habit that you have developed since childhood of FANTASIZING AS THE WAY YOU THINK, where everything is a self-generating daydream, as this is what Fake You prefers, as it is VERY EASY TO CONTROL YOUR MOODS THAT WAY, and therefore control you. See after a while all the shit you imagine ‘HAS’ happened, ‘IS’ happening, or is ‘GOING’ to happen becomes real to you through the EMOTIONAL VALUE YOU PLACE ON IT – FANTASY BECOMES YOUR REALITY VIA EMOTION. So you NEVER DO ANYTHING IN REAL LIFE, your emotional needs are satisfied by Fantasy, social media, TV series and violent games, like a grubby little PORN ADDICT. Yes, Fake You is addicted to crap, so it puts shit in your head and you imagine it, hour after hour, because you think that is YOU thinking AND THE EMOTION IS ADDICTIVE. Yes, even FEAR is addictive, as YOU think it is better than nothing…
But ‘You’ are an ARISTOCRAT NOW, so you must stop defending ‘yourself’ when you are SHIT, stop defending Fake You whatever it does, stop the daydreaming that enables its control of you every other min, which is a huge waste of your gift EVERY SECOND YOU DO IT. YOU are HERE and it is NOW, ‘I AM’ and ‘DAMN THE CONSEQUENCES’, is how Aristos work, BUT you must be able to look at yourself and not justify your low-quality B/S as ‘OK’ – you want to be ‘something’ then you must recognize you are ‘nothing’ right now as a point of principle, as that alone will motivate you to be ‘something’, so your justifications to remain nothing are pointless, obviously…
Yep, I know you don’t see that now, BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL FAKE YOU, you have bought the illusion so completely you are ‘Self Obsessed’ with Fake You being the ONLY YOU, of being ‘I’. So this one is a harder lesson, one that many of you will never learn without help, so YOU will never KNOW what it means to ‘Be Yourself’, to be ‘authentic’, something many of you foolishly believe you already are, but if you actually are GIFTED then you are really not, yet. Know this never happens naturally unless you have huge, life-threatening challenges in your life, so ‘you’ have to know ‘learn how to do it’ – you must form a ‘Deputy Steward’ as a ‘security guard’ to sit behind the ‘security camera’ of your Observing Eye, whose one and only job at the start is to MAKE YOU MORE AND MORE SELF CONSCIOUS, FOR LONGER AND LONGER by using all these practices, so you can see all this ill shit. So you can see the ‘con’ of Fake You and START TO LAUGH AT THE BITCH, and so start ‘stopping’ taking your current self way too fucking seriously. Sure, Deputy Steward is not Real You, yet, all your DS can do is see you are ABOUT to do something STUPID and STOP YOU, freeze the momentum of Fake You at the beginning of the process of FUCKING YOU, but that is more than enough to get started…
So let us be clear – this POST is the actual start of the fabled Hero’s Journey – finding the ‘REAL YOU’, instead of living your life as the messy, entitled, fragile, futile and totally FAKE little freakshow you’ve become. Yes, I know all you have right now is forever trying to ‘be right’, between ever cheaper thrills, so do understand seeing conversation as a primitive form of combat you have to ‘win’ just marks you out as a delusional dork, a ‘domesticated animal’ – AS A ‘FAKE YOU’, CAUSE THESE ARE THE TYPES OF BEHAVIOURAL VEHICLE FAKE YOU USES TO FUCK YOU. So ‘…don’t get it twisted…’ (Sorry DMX), YOU NEED TO HAVE A GOAL, and that goal is to surpass your current, fake self by finding Real You, and becoming a WAY more effective human being is HOW YOU DO THIS. Burn this in your mind, you are not playing at this stuff anymore, you TAKE IT SERIOUS, otherwise, you are one more of the Billions of domesticated animals on this planet whose whole life is based on ‘luck’, which you ran out of that some time ago – know the unschooled gifted ‘downslope of life’ is a bitch…
You have a ‘sense of purpose’ TO GET ANYWHERE IN THIS LIFE – you must be guided in the moment by what you really want to BE, and so ‘value’ that above the values of the moment, the values of an animal – momentary fear or momentary self-interest. Having this Purpose of Finding the Real You will give your entire journey a focus and clarity that you have no chance of otherwise, so you will fail, like all the other fluffy new agers, who have no fucking clue what they are doing, or just seek to feel a little bit better, and that is pointless – you would be better off gambling and taking drugs, as they tell you in Zen. With this sense of purpose you will find that other smaller goals inline with this purpose magically appear on the path, and one of those is what you are starting today, something that in itself will introduce to the areas of life, of feeling and experience, that you don’t even know exist…
Ahhhhh, can’t agree with that at all? so you have NO PERSPECTIVE THEN – YOU ARE SO STUPID THAT YOU HAVE TO DEFEND YOUR FAKE SELF ALL THE TIME AS A KNEE JERK REACTION? Of course you don’t, your not insane, you know you can be wrong, even VERY wrong about things, don’t you, but that is not enough for us, you must ‘believe it’ -you must accept that day to day YOU is a FAKE. Ahhh, so you DO know it, don’t you, may even know you are a little bit of ‘A DIFFICULT PERSONALITY’ now… but that’s cool, lots of you are at the start, particularly the highly gifted types.
Ok, I know that ‘you know’ its really ‘not cool’ to be one more pathetic little Karen, but the point I’m making is that you have no choice, its not your fault, until of course someone like me explains REAL YOU, to ‘you’… Then it actually IS your fault, ‘going forward’… So sorry, again, but someone has to tell you Gifted types Real You is fucking ‘over’ waiting for your dumb ass to ‘Cop On’ – see starting this journey involves YOU realizing that instead of a ‘Real You’, even a plain old ‘You’, what you have a is ‘Fake You’, a stereotype based on your socio-economic class, your upbringing, education, life experience, and THE SOCIETY YOU KEEP.
And that FAKE bitch REALLY DOES NOT LIKE YOU, but ‘you’ like her, cause right now she is ‘all you have’, she is you, she is your autopilot, your path of least resistance because you are not actually aware of her, lurking in the background, that is why you think you are ‘you’, an ‘I’, one whole thing, rather than ‘many’ – you simple don’t believe there is a separate ‘you’ hiding in the shadows of you mind… But don’t worry, she will be fine, cause she is having so much FUN at your expense, to the point she is actually stealing from you… She does not even help you out, does she, she delights in your continual failure – hell who cares, there is no one here to ‘judge her’, and you are so fucking simple you don’t even notice, long as she throws you the odd scrap or 2, give you a taste of what you should be, you just let her do whatever she wants, the path of least resistance is all you know, so Fake You just needs to make shit easy or hard, and she controls you, totally, ‘rides you’ like a bicycle…
So now, it is TIME YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT ‘THE STATE OF YOU’, as that is the next big step on this path, and it can be a tad challenging… So I’ll warn you up front – this post splits Gifted folks right down the middle, into those who find it VERY comforting that they have a Fake Self Destructive ‘YOU’, AND those who simply can’t stop defending their own self-obsessed, nasty stupidity, so find it VERY challenging. See many GIFTED folks end up living their lives in some form of ‘prison of the soul’, where they are well aware of what they are, but do some kind of ‘deal with the devil’ to feed them whilst providing a secure little lifeline and just go along with normality because they are SCARED to follow their ‘ heart’s desire’ – THEY BOTTLE IT. This always comes down to material security as they age, so whatever they do, NOTHING can be allowed that threatens that, as that is their comfort, their ‘miserable ease’, whilst also being their DAMNATION.
This is one of the big ‘catch 22’ situations at the start that you need to find ‘a way round or over’, as it is ‘secret humiliation’ that is DIRECTLY connected to your Fake Self, as it uses this as a Weakness it can exploit, and Fake You always ‘loves’ your weakness. Often it is just one type of weakness that acts as a ‘crucifixion’ nail as you can never ‘resist it’ in the moment, what I will describe below as your Key Feature, better said as a special ‘weakness’ YOU picked up a long time ago, and is the focus of your Fake Self – it enters into everything you do. But pull that nail out and the rest of Fake You has little to turn around anymore, so tends to collapse – your habitual self-destructive patterns become very clear so you can stop them, stop YOUR decline and grow.
You need to get this before you start it, you need to get what this is about, the CHOICE of it, as you will find you have far more choices than you thought you did, simply by disavowing your Fake Self, WHICH YOU CAN DO RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW. We need you on board this ‘train’ not waving as it passes you by, so this one has a VERY LONG introduction – we have to position you correctly, so YOU can read with an open mind, so you can realize why this concept WORRIES YOU SO MUCH, because it scares your ‘Fake You’ to death. See fake You wants to keep you ‘circling inwards’, sinking downwards with ever-decreasing patterns of thought that keep you rooted to the shitty spot you are stuck at, while we need you to spiral outwards, to look up from yesterday and ‘expand’, improve, GROW – we need to flex your gifted muscles. We try not to use phrases like ‘Comfort Zone’ on this path, as we know many of you find them SO ATTRACTIVE, so best know its actually your ‘Pointless Bitch Zone’…
See with a strong Fake Self, which most Gifted Hedonists have, as the dominant part of your multi-level ‘I’ you are going to start arguing against every little bit of this, because your Fake You, lurking happily in the background as you sit there is about to get VERY fucking scared – we are not going to spare the ‘horses’ this time, we are going in HARD, its a full frontal assault with tanks and gunships. ‘Why this brutal?’, you gulp… so know we ‘HAVE’ TO DIVE RIGHT IN this time, otherwise many of you, often the most GIFTED of all, will simply stop reading this because your big, bad Fake Self will STOP YOU, dead. See it knows what this is, what this post is about – it’s a DUCK HUNT, and Fake You is on the goddamn menu baby…
Please now, for the duration of this post, open your mind and accept that this is the ONLY explanation for the way you are, and the model I am about to tell you is not only easy to grasp, but is actually TRUE. You have a Fake You, a collection of everything you have acquired, learned, copied, been told, been taught or just accepted as ‘fact’ yourself. All domesticated animals have this, indeed that is all they are, an Egoic collection of random patterns, but you ARE NOT – all Gifted have a REAL YOU, that comes FOC with your Gift, indeed it is the point of your life is to find it. Right now you are light years away from Real You, and you will never find it unless you first deal with Fake You, unless you make space for Real You, listen to it when it talks to you and grow it into your life. But you will NEVER DO THIS UNLESS you learn to recognize and defeat Fake You, feel its ‘tension signature’ when it becomes active, and learn HOW TO STOP IT FUCKING YOU, something so important I’ve already started to teach you in other posts…
Yep, its a lot to take in, so I’m going to help you with that, with both a basic understanding of what it does and how to STOP IT. So here is the dramatic version, and trust me, YOU NEED THIS DRAMA…
So… for all the strong personalities out there, I’ll NEED TO HELP you out, right at the start, otherwise, you are not going to get too far, HERE IS THE HOOK – ultimately I’ve always found that the success or failure of this lesson HANGS ON ONE REALISATION = Fake You is ALL YOUR STUPIDITY, ALL YOUR INSTANT REGRETS. It is all your forgetfulness, your typos, your slips of the tongue, your fridge blindness, your clumsiness, your arrogance, and your unpleasantness IN THE MOMENT. It is THE CAUSE of all your MISTAKES you should NOT HAVE MADE, BECAUSE THEY WERE ‘ACCIDENTS’ YOU NEVER INTENDED.
Indeed, if you follow the practices IN THIS POST you will start to see the SELF-SABOTAGE signature of Fake You just as it appears, right before it fucks you, often as a negative thought out of the blue, or some form of panicky emotion that seems totally disconnected from your activity, its is always some form of ‘unnecessary’, unwanted ‘tension’, but maybe other stuff too LIKE RANDOM ANIMAL DESIRES OR AVERSIONS. And once you can see it, you can banish it…
Now, the majority of you can kinda roll with that for now, can’t you, sounds like it might actually be useful to know, eh…? But it’s more than that for many of ‘you’, with all your stupid, ego-driven, and AXIOMATIC OPINIONS YOU NEVER CHALLENGE AND SO ‘HAVE TO DEFEND’. Sure… you are so stupid you kinda accept your ‘accidents’ as just being a ‘bit crap’ today, you don’t see all the patterns in them, the hidden point of them, fucking you over and over again, you are the same as everyone else, so that is ok… And you are a FOOL, as its really NOT OK, so you need to know what YOUR REAL PROBLEM is, don’t you, you need to see just how big a part of your life this FAKE shit is, and why you can never escape it unless you ‘see’ it, you see your Fake Self and WHAT IT DOES. Then you will think of little else – ANY UNINTENDED ACTION IS SELF-SABOTAGE, so try for a second to realize the ‘Horror’ of that, as YOU HAVE ‘ACCIDENTS’ ALL THE TIME, don’t you…
BUT THIS ‘FORESIGHT’ WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU CAN LEARN TO SEE ALL THE BEHAVIOURS IT ‘FORCES ON YOU’ TO COVER UP YOUR FAKE SELVES SABOTAGE – FOR EXAMPLE YOUR PATHETIC JUSTIFICATIONS FOR ‘BEING RIGHT’ TO ACT SELF-DESTRUCTIVELY, THAT DISTRACTS YOU FROM THE ‘SELF DESTRUCTIVE ACT’ ITSELF, JUST AFTER THE FACT OF THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE ACT. AND YOU MUST BE SELF-CONSCIOUS TO SOME DEGREE TO SEE THAT AT THE START, WHY RAISING YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS BEFORE YOU BECOME OVERWHELMED WITH THE COVER STORY, THE DISTRACTION, THE EMOTIONAL JUSTIFICATION, IS THE TRICK TO SEEING YOUR FAKE SELF CLEARLY.
If you watch carefully, you will find you go slightly ‘hazy’ at the exact time you DO SOMETHING STUPID, or make some nasty destructive comments or expressions automatically because you are DISTRACTED by jumping to the ‘cover story’ thought, emotion, need almost immediately, so you don’t catch or reflect on what you just did as an ACT, AT ALL. This is how it works in reality, this is HOW FAKE YOU HIDES WHAT IT DOES FROM YOU, how it gets away with self-destructive ACTS, by glossing over them VERY quickly. And I mean all your ‘what the fuck was I thinking…’ stuff when you actually take the time to examine that ACT you did later, as you clean up another pointless mess, with no fucking clue why this shit happened AGAIN, because you DO IT AUTOMATICALLY IN THE MOMENT, you don’t even think about it at the time.
Get this – IT IS NOT YOU ACTING AT ALL, WHAT IS ACTING ON YOUR BEHALF IN THESE SELF DESTRUCTIVE MOMENTS IS ‘UNCONSCIOUS’, YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IS JUST FOLLOWING ‘AFTER IT’, FEELING FORCED TO ‘OWN IT’, OTHERWISE YOU ARE CRAZY. YOUR WHOLE FAKE SELF IS BUILT THIS WAY, BY HAVING TO OWN CRAP THAT IS FORCED ON YOU, BECUASE YOU HAVE TO ‘IDENTIFY’ WITH IT, DON’T YOU, BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU JUST DID IT… But you didn’t, something else did…
So let that slowly growing realization help you with this next bit, what THE REAL ISSUE IS HERE, why Fake You is so much more destructive than even that, why IT HAS TO HIDE…
SEE YOU LIVE IN A ‘CAGE’ MADE UP OF ‘FAKE OPINIONS’ DESIGNED TO ENABLE FAKE YOU TO CONCEAL ITS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR FROM YOU, BY COVERING IT WITH AN ‘INSTANT JUSTIFICATION’, IN THE MOMENT YOU DO IT. BUT YOU NEVER SEE IT BECAUSE YOU DO IT AUTOMATICALLY, SO FAST YOU DON’T REASON IT THROUGH, EXAMINE IT AT ALL – AND IT’S SO EFFECTIVE IT’S FUCKING DEADLY BECAUSE ‘YOU’ NEED TO BE RIGHT ALL THE TIME, ABOUT THINGS YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, HAVE NO EFFECT ON, AND CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT. You are a drunk in the street rowing about geopolitics, instead of realizing you are sitting in a puddle of your own piss…
See you are so small you MUST ‘speak your truth’, however trite and formulaic, to try and get bigger, you must have an opinion to justify SO YOU CAN ‘FEEL THAT REWARD’, TO ‘FEEL CLEVER’, TO FEEL THAT LITTLE ‘RODENT LEVEL’ WIN… Because you are a FAKE TOOL, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW FAKE YOU WORKS – it controls you with a meaningless little EGO rush, and it owns you again. Worse, that is what everyone you know actually thinks of you. Get this, you cling to Fake You as it makes ‘you’ feel CLEVER, but all everyone else sees is the MESSY BITCH, the feckless, unreliable, untrustworthy, gutless pussy.
Fake You is a mind fuck, ITS A CON, if you saw how others see ‘Fake You’ then YOU would STOP IMMIEDATLEY – THE EMBARRASSMENT OF IT WOULD CRIPPLE YOU. It is also why one-to-one teaching is so painful at the start, cause we hate it even more than your parasites – imagine how you would feel if you spoke to a clever 10y/o who thinks its funny to communicate by singing different pop song ‘hook lines’ that just pop into its head as a form of response. That is how we see you…
Yes, folks like me just cringe when you make all those clever one-liners, so carefully laden with innuendos, and ‘titter’ like a silly bitch when you think you have got away with it, what body language experts call ‘Dupa’s Delight’, so desperate to be CLEVER. But we don’t just ‘judge’ you as a dork, better a starving, injured stray, taking a swipe as we reach down to help you, we see your ‘level’, we see the ‘crime against nature’ you have become, which is actually slightly sickening to be around. So we just humor you at the start, as you would burn and run if we told you, much as you will ‘hate yourself’ later, so TRY and not to get stuck on this competitive conversation thing, IT HAPPENS A LOT AS ITS ALL GUTLESS PUSSIES HAVE, why I mention it all the time…
For your own sake, please try and get this as much as you can before you read on – this process is how Fake You own’s you BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU HAVE FAILED TO UNDERSTAND YOUR WHOLE LIFE. It does not matter if you are ‘right’ or wrong in the moment, the self-destructive process works just as well, either way you fucking tool, indeed it is worse IF by some random chance if you are actually right, as this fake self-destructive behavior gets even stronger – FAKE YOU USES THE PROCESS OF DEFENDING YOURSELF VIA INSTANT JUSTIFICATIONS TO COVER YOUR HIDDEN, SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR, SO YOU DON’T SEE THE BEHAVIOUR FOR WHAT IT IS. So you have no perspective because if you did you would ALREADY GET THAT ‘THE NEED TO BE RIGHT’, TO ARGUE IS THE MAIN SELF DESTRUCTIVE SIGNATURE OF FAKE YOU, JUST BEFORE IT FUCKS YOU, AGAIN AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, your whole damn life…
Yeah I know, YOU ARE WAY TO SELF-IMPORTANT TO SEE THAT, ARE YOU NOT, no matter how easy it is for me to tear any of your low-quality B/S opinions, your ‘truths’ to shreds in 30s, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE them because it is FAKE YOU, and for so many gifted types at the start of this path that is ALL OF YOU. Get this – YOU NEED TO BE RIGHT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE YOU ARE FAKE – IT IS THE DEFINING SIGNATURE OF A STRONG FAKE YOU, and the more pointless opinions you have, the easier it is for Fake You to control you ALL THE FUCKING TIME, as the MORE SHIT YOU HAVE TO BE RIGHT ABOUT.
Trust me there are VERY few Objective truths in this world, stuff that is always right in any circumstance, or context, but that is how you think ‘you think’ – you have reasoned these truths out BEFORE, so there is no need to do it again. SO YOU ARE A FOOL, you never reasoned these truths out, you were told them, you copied them et al, AND you never CHECK THEY ARE TRUE RIGHT NOW, IN THE HERE AND NOW. Yes, it is fine to have an opinion you test and check and examine before you express it, BUT YOU DON’T DO THAT, DO YOU, YOU ‘PARROT’ CRAP, because that is your FAKE YOU, it is ALWAYS YOUR FAKE YOU, BECAUSE ITS AN ILLUSION, and a very simple one that anyone can see if you explain it ‘logically’ like I am doing, BUT even that won’t matter, because your opinions MEAN YOU HAVE AN AUTOMATIC, INSTANT JUSTIFICATION FOR All YOUR ACTS because Fake You uses them to HIDE BEHIND. YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MOMENT, SO YOU DRESS IT UP OUT OF SEQUENCE, IN RETROSPECT.
SEE you think this is how you think life happens to you: An Ext Cause triggers an Opinion, which becomes a Justification to Act, and then you Act, all convinced YOU ARE RIGHT. And that is TOTAL CRAP, this is what happens when you Fake Self is driving, when your Fake Self is ON A MISSION TO GET WHAT IT WANTS: Fake You’s barbed opinions look for and find an Ext Cause as an opportunity to Feed, which triggers the Act of Feeding, rapidly covered by the meaningless Justification for the Act you apply in retrospect IN ORDER TO HIDE THE REAL CAUSE OF IT – FAKE YOU wants to EAT. This is how Fake You owns you, controls you, uses you as a plaything, AS LIVESTOCK – a domesticated animal bred to be fed on. No wonder it has to be really good at hiding, eh?
We will address this issue several times during this post, but for now, KNOW THAT ONLY A TOTAL DORK USES THE OPINIONS FORMED IN CHILDHOOD TO MANAGE THEIR ADULT LIFE BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOUR FAKE SELF BECOMES VERY POWERFUL. How EVER meaningless it is to say just yet, this post is really about what it actually means to GROW THE FUCK UP – YOU MUST GROW OUT OF YOURSELF, OF FAKE YOU. SO TO MAKE THIS POINT ONE LAST TIME YOU NEED TO SEE THIS LAST LINE…
KNOW THIS FOR CERTAIN – THE CHOICE BETWEEN REAL YOU AND FAKE YOU IS NOT THE CHOICE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD, BORED OR FUN, IT IS THE CHOICE BETWEEN LIFE AND CANCER. YOUR FAKE SELF IS A DISEASE, AN ABERRATION, AN UNNATURAL, UNREAL GROWTH ON YOUR SOUL. IT IS INVISIBLE BECAUSE IT HIDES, SO YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND YOU ONLY EVER SEE THE SYMPTOMS OF WHAT IT DOES, AND AT THE START YOU ONLY SEE WHAT FAKE YOU USES TO HIDE WHAT IT DOES, HOW IT CONCEALS ITSELF. THIS IS WHERE YOU START, THIS IS HOW YOU BRING REAL YOU IN, THIS IS WHEN YOUR LIFE BECOMES ACTUAL FUN, BECAUSE YOU BECOME POWERFUL THROUGH REAL YOU, FAKE YOU JUST BLEEDS YOU…
Now, take a breath and STAY WITH ME HERE… bet you did not care for reading that, eh? Bet, like all the comments on the last post about the ‘Easy way to Start’ you thought it was a ‘bit over the top’, unduly nasty, almost designed to make you ‘feel bad’, to feel strong emotion in the moment, eh? AND THAT IS BECAUSE IT WAS – it was written as an exercise in style for that specific purpose by clever folks who know what they are doing. THIS IS A KEY STYLISTIC ISSUE ON THE 4TH WAY, DONE AS A POINT OF PRINCIPLE TO GENERATE STRONG EMOTION AS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN ACCESS AND USE YOUR GIFTED POWER AT THE START. Trust me, there are many 4th ways out there that go a hell of a lot further than a bit of strong language…
Get this, please… To write this in a normal, fluffy, PC way, like some wannabe philosopher’s dissertation on ‘comparative religion’ means I WOULD have TOTALLY FAILED YOU, LIKE ALL THE REST OF THE FOOLS ON HERE DO. You must feel this in the moment for it to have a chance of working, it must be EMOTIONAL SO YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN POWER TO DEVELOP YOURSELF – the only way at the start is to FEEL BAD IN SOME PRODUCTIVE WAY and then ACT AGAINST FAKE YOU, whilst feeling bad. Anyway, hope that is ok with you, cause as you are about to discover this one is done in exactly the same way, if anything the FAKE YOU stuff is even worse because it has to be – please commit to this or fuck off. WHEN YOU READ THESE NEXT FEW PARAS, DO UNDERSTAND I’M TRYING TO REACH YOU, ‘REAL YOU’…
So, RIGHT NOW, know the only way this stuff is going to work is if you STOP SEEING ALL SPIRITUALITY AS ABOUT BEING ‘GOOD’ FOR NO REASON THAT MATTERS TO YOU, AND START SEEING IT AS ABOUT BEING BETTER, SMARTER, FASTER, YOUNGER, HARDER, SO IT DOES MATTER TO YOU. This is NOT ‘Jesus Christ, Superstar’ this is more in the line of that strange little movie ‘Limitless’, just without the ‘study buddy’ pills. So YOU MUST dust down that long-forgotten but fondly held childhood dream of being ‘someone’ special IN THIS WORLD and transpose it into HATING THE COMFORT SEEKING MEDIOCRITY YOU HAVE BECOME ‘AS’ YOUR ‘FAKE SELF’. You must stop defending it’s low-quality bullshit so you can change by HATING IT IN A NICE WAY, just enough to want nothing else in this life but to FIND AND BE the fucking awesomeness that is REAL YOU.
Yep, see if you do wish to take a long hard look for WHO IS TO BLAME FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME then you will find it is your FALSE SENSE OF SELF, your habitual, self-destructive patterns – your Automatic Pilot is FUCKING YOU. But we can help you fix that, because we are the Spirituality of LIFE, right here and right now, we are in it to win it, JUST LIKE YOU WANT TO BE AND CAN BE IF YOU ARE PREPARED TO REDEFINE YOUR EGO AND FIGHT FAKE YOU.
Ahhhh, ALL A BIT TRITE, all a bit stereotypical for you eh? We don’t know all your little issues I’m sure, we don’t get how trapped by all your shit you are, we could never understand ‘you’ could we. Sorry, no, we understand this ALL TOO WELL, see you find this stereotypical because you ARE A STEREOTYPE of your kind – you don’t ‘EXPECT’ that adventure anymore do you, your society has beaten that childhood ‘sense of adventure’ out of you.
They replaced it with NORMAL, with drugs as a form of social control, with your ‘happiness’ with what you have, your relief that you managed to keep what you have for another day, your illusionary quest for ‘Power Over Others’, your ‘quiet desperation’ with the hopelessness of it all – you don’t even realize you are ‘living without aim’, anymore (Sorry Abba). See you have VERY low expectations of life these days, don’t you, because your ‘normal’ is all that animals want, that is what your society ‘sells you’ – a ‘happy’ meaningless existence followed by a pointless, often ugly, desperate death, terrified and alone, without a clue what to expect next. That is all animals can do – climb up to ‘normal’, while YOU have been slowly pushed back DOWN to normal, and it’s slowly killing you.
Now I don’t really DO ‘self-help’ on here, so its not my job to point out to you that the most likely reason you are ‘still’ a hedonist after all these years is your EXPECTATION that life both is, and will forever more, BE BORING shit – THE MAGIC IN LIFE YOU ONCE FELT IS EBBING AWAY, SO YOU CHASE AFTER IT BEST YOU CAN. But it is my job to convince you, as a hedonist who is not happy with normal by definition, that this STALE EXPECTATION IS WRONG AND CHANGE IT, BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. See you are about to discover that it is actually the power of your EXPECTATION that matters, YOU GET WHAT YOU EXPECT TO GET IN SO MANY WAYS, so once society has broken that expectation of ‘a better tomorrow’ YOU ARE DONE BABY.
But that is not you is it, you are still reading…
So lets give it a go today – this is the Left-Hand path, it’s not a belief system from some bloody Sunday School, based on some dry, lifeless Religion. This is REAL LIFE, a WAY OF LIFE, THE WAY OF THE ARISTOCRAT – YOU MUST FEEL THE ADVENTURE OF POWER OVER YOURSELF TO EVEN FEEL ALIVE. So stop seeing life as something you have to SUFFER and make bearable with cheap thrills before curling up in some comfortably numb fashion and passing out – that is the mentality of a SLAVE, the goal of Domesticated Animals. YOU ARE GIFTED, ARE YOU NOT? Your existence is MEANT to be the Adventure of a Lifetime, so stop fucking wasting it, stop fitting in with these freaks, AND EXPECT IT TO BE AMAZING, GO AND FUCKING LOOK FOR IT, not least by reading on today. You may also be surprised to hear that not only are you totally wrong about most things, but you also get to keep the more constructive bits of the Cathartic Hedonism you are so attached to – CUTE eh.
Now, in order to find Real You in any meaningful, permanent sense I have to teach you how to ‘Ride your Animal self’, rather than be ‘Hag Ridden’. So you must USE Power Over Yourself, start to control yourself in the 3rd person as NOT YOU, as you must start to RELATE to YOU being Real You. This is not a theoretical post – you must DO, you must separate yourself out from BOTH your everyday, Fake Self that you have copied, learned from society or just fallen ‘into’ over the years, AND the vehicle you use to get around, your Animal Self, with all it sensory reflections and instinctive desires.
And it would be best if you started to do this all the time, as that will help you ‘latch on’ to this, make it default, rather than constantly backsliding into your Fake Self, the other you, that silly little basic bitch that ‘Thinks’ for you right now. Yep, you, like all seekers on the Left Hand path since the beginning of time need a simple THOUGHT Model of yourself to make this practice work – so you can UNDERSTAND IT, UNDERSTAND WHEN TO DO IT, and UNDERSTAND HOW TO DO IT.
At the start THE model I use to enable this change is THE simple one, one used for thousands of years to explain this at the VERY START – there are 3 of you in this picture, the Real You, Fake You, and Animal You. Its just that right now YOU ARE A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL, so its pretty much ALL Fake You and Animal You, all day every day. So we need to ‘unpack’ REAL You, via the process of Exercising Power Over Yourself, otherwise Real You does not have a chance, and will only ever be there in your dreams.
It’s important you get this RIGHT AT THE START OF THIS POST – this PROCESS is HOW REAL YOU STARTS TO DEVELOP IN EVERYDAY LIFE – USING THIS 3rd PERSON TECHNIQUE TO ORDER ANIMAL YOU AROUND, AND REJECT THE B/S OF FAKE YOU. THIS WILL CAUSE REAL YOU TO START TO ‘FORM’ AS A HIGHER PART OF YOURSELF so your ‘awareness’, what they call your Observing ‘Eye’ and current level consciousness can access it, ‘sense it’. Then you can start to live there, start to ENJOY living there. Get this – that is the point of DOING this… Simple eh?
Now, that feature image of this post is one of my personal faves (I’ve used the Wiki one for added cred as its genuine for once) – it is the seal and sigil of the Knights Templar, much as they actually called themselves the Order of Solomon’s Temple and the Pope named them The Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon. Christians explain this seal by saying the templars were so poor they could only afford the 1 horse between 2 Knights, which is obvious bollocks – they were rich beyond most countries at that time, and there is not one recorded instance of 2 Knights riding 1 horse into battle, indeed the weight would have made it impossible. No, it’s another one of these wonderful metaphors for those who know, with a simplified, Christian meaning for the stupid, for the peasants and villains…
Yep, Christianity remains a VERY thin veneer on the old European 4th-way Traditions, the stuff for Aristocrats, the ‘ruling’ class, so named because it made you capable, worthy to Rule others – Animals can’t even rule their fucking selves. See much as the Greek and later Roman elites started this, with their ‘Equestration’ class of Free Citizens making all the decisions in the golden age of their Republic, before slowly becoming the Corrupt, Hereditary’ Senatorial’ Class, you would be surprised just how much of the original meaning survived many thousands of years later…
Now, this post is a practical one, a Key Lesson so is not about the Medieval, European 4th Way signs and symbols (I’ll do a separate post), its about ‘How To Do’. However, the reason I have chosen this model for you today is to get you used to the ‘Horseback’ analogies that are particular to ‘our’ 4th way. See the far Eastern approach is all about riding ‘Bulls’, even Elephants, with a few monkeys thrown in, where the animals turn from Black to White. The Near/Mid East model is all about Chariots pulled by Horses, with the classic Left-Hand path image of King Tut being pulled by a white and black horse, where he does not even need to hold the reins, in his tomb, marking him out for all time as a God, much as his poor state of health and way he died suggests he really was not.
For now its important to know that most of these models vary but they are all genuine, its just they all reflect different stages of development – as a Zenman I feel very connected to the classic model of the 10 stages of Riding your Bull, as there is a clear sequence. Most others only present 1 stage, often the highest idealized one like the Egyptians as a teaching model to aim at. In the West however we got many and various separate ones, at different levels and different perspectives (George and the Dragon is another Classic), but the VERY BEST one at the start is ALWAYS this one – 2 Selves on 1 Horse, your animal self, as it is really easy for most folks to SEE. Just don’t fool yourself that this is Christian, the Templars all denied Christ ever existed, much as that was a stance they paid for dearly.
Now before we start it is important to BURN INTO YOUR MIND what we are talking about here, to understand this model is a transition between where you are now, and where this model needs you to be – Real You at the front, active, controlling the reins of Animal You, with Fake You behind, passive but still whispering to you all the time. Right now the only active bits of real you that are there is your CONSCIENCE, and you never let ‘her’ drive, do you – so that has to change, via simple, focused techniques below. This is the completion of the 1st stage of development, as you must realize ‘yourself’ in all 3 of these things SEPARATELY, and relate to them this way TO DO ANY OF THIS – you must start to ‘pick a side’.
See what we are doing here is FORCE some new PATTERNS into your head, by using these easy and simple systems to relate to yourself, as 3 things, NOT 1 – there is no single ‘I’ anymore, there are 3 of you who have widely differing attitude, moods, goals, and YOU need to be on the side of the one who WANTS YOU TO DEVELOP. To repeat from Part 1 – ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DEVELOP IS NOT YOU, IF YOU ARE GIFTED – IT IS YOUR FAKE PERSONALITY WHO IS YOUR ENEMY.
Do take heart, we know you won’t be able to see yourself in the 3rd person all the time and stop identifying with low-level thoughts – it takes a high level of consciousness to be able to do that, we know this will be VERY hit and miss at the start. HOWEVER, you can do this at specific times, episodes of thought and emotion YOU NOTICE, as we can then use YOUR CURRENT PATTERNS TO HELP YOU DEVELOP THE NEW PATTERNS YOU NEED.
That is the genius of this method, ITS A TRANSITION – we use who you are right now against yourself at the beginning, so you can both ‘see’ the trap and start to cut through the bars. As your new patterns start to replace the old ones as a form of habitual thought you will get better and better at this, and the episodes of SELF-POSSESSION will get stronger and stronger. Indeed, you will START TO PREFER TO BE THIS WAY, as it is a much better, more enjoyable way to live – some even call it a superpower, given they were totally dominated by their Fake Self previously, that is how it feels to them.
Lastly, before we start – as per part 1 of this series I am asking you to do something today that you don’t yet have the level to do all the time. However, some of you will be surprised just how easy it is to do them when you TRY, as you must TRY to push past your Fake Self, which will recognize these processes as a threat and try to stop you doing any of this.
Trying as a point of principle creates a ‘friction’ inside your that is a low-level form of energy, that will help you DO, just as long as it is not wasted as ACTED OUT ANNOYANCE – later you come to recognize this energy in yourself and label it in your mind as POWER, and smile. Indeed an even smaller subset of you will actually already do your own little versions of these practices naturally, AS THIS IS WHAT ALL NATURALLY GIFTED FOLKS WANT TOO DO, however much your Hedonistic life has led you astray. So be clear – these are the STANDARDS of a GIFTED life, and I’m showing you that you must REVALUE them ABOVE your current self-obsessed values of cheap thrills, comfort and oblivion et al, which as all tricks played on you by your Fake Self to control you. Get this – you must stop ‘losing your shit’ all the damn time…
However, in Part 2 of this series we have to KICK IT UP A NOTCH, you have to DO harder things now, and the only way you can TRY this stuff before you have the level is to USE EMOTION ON YOURSELF – TO FOLLOW THESE PRACTISES IN AN EMOTIONAL STATE. Sticking to the simple new values I’m going to give you requires some power in the moment or you both won’t notice the right moment and you won’t be able to DO anything different at that moment even if you do notice it. In its simple form EMOTION IS USEABLE POWER IF YOU DON’T ATTACH IT TO SOME SHIT AND ACT IT OUT – that is what Fake You wants you to do and you waste it by feeding the bitch. If you keep hold of this power in the moment you can use it to DO MUCH harder stuff, to go against your Fake Self by following simple rules.
I’m not going to discuss the use of emotional states much more in this post as its part of a big secret later, and is actually implicit in these new STANDARDS anyway so you don’t need to understand. However, please do understand these VALUES set you FREE, your own little values (should you have any at all) have no ‘value’, and are simply the bars that make up the prison that is the life of a SLAVE BECAUSE YOU WASTE YOUR POWER ON SHITE – ALL EMOTION IS AN OPPORTUNITY, DON’T WASTE IT BY LETTING IT OVERPOWER YOU AND SO ACT OUT. Once you get used to standing against powerful emotion and not letting it ‘drive’ you will start to find much of this stuff very easy…
Later, when you have some Level, specifically the level of Consciousness that is called Self Possession then you can try your hand at some basic mind magic (what some British 4th Wayers call Chaos Magic these days), but you will need to have got used to using simple GOALS in increasingly smaller things. See when you do use goals like this, when you control yourself in ‘advance of action’, rather than as a reaction to it, then you can start to use EXPECTATION in AN EMOTIONAL STATE. Expectation grows out of mental goal orientation, but without further training you won’t be able TO CHANGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS, as you will still only be able to choose from what has happened before, your expectations are forced on you by your experience of what is ‘most likely’, and that’s just stupid. Currently, you spend your life imagining what has either happened before or the worst, because your current imagination is dominated by Fake You, and this is again yet another way Fake You fucks you. It is very hard to get at a low level but try and understand that Fake You uses this device to lead you around by the NOSE, by putting images in your head, as you can be controlled via them AND be distracted from reality. DON’T TRUST IT, it is not you, so try and reject any FEAR that comes from your imagination, however strong it is, ALL SUCH FEAR IS FROM FAKE YOU.
You are thinking wrong, indeed you use a special part of your mind to THINK FOR YOU, instead of controlling it as a method of CONTROLLING YOURSELF. You need to learn to think with GOALS, instead of what Fake You is MAKING YOU THINK VIA YOUR IMAGINATION, which should only be used sparingly in day-to-day life, and NEVER UNCONTROLLED. So I have to teach you how to use your imagination in the real world, rather than piss away that power using it in your fantasy world, where you are not present, so can change NOTHING. Indeed you are simply showing your desires to your Fake Self who will actively prevent them from happening – have you never noticed the more you fantasize the less it actually happens? You must DO in your ‘magical imagination’ UNDER CONTROL, and that will require you to ‘DRY OUT’, which is what part 3 of this series of Posts will get you started with, cause you will need to STOP dissolving, as that is where most of your life force is currently going. But I digress…
One quick word of warning – when you start to realize that Conscience is about ‘Personal Morality’ you feel ‘in the moment’, about honor and shame as real things, some Gifted Hedonists can get very excited as they believe they already HAVE A PERSONAL MORALITY when they feel something very strongly. And you maybe right but are MOST likely wrong, that is most likely Animal Morality, ‘brute’ morality, the morality of strength, desire, instinct, the morality of your ‘horse’. That is neither good or bad, and you frankly need it to get through the day, but it is dangerous when it is corrupted by Fake You, who currently holds the reins to your horse. What we are talking about here is honor and shame AS A FORM OF COMMUNICATION, which you eventually come to feel all the time, not about instinct or being Good in a Christian Moral sense, indeed you may find Personal Morality to be very different from that. but we must create the space in you first to find it – that is what this post does, sets up the conditions so you can feel it.
See Fake You really is NOT you, it is an unconscious feeling IN YOURSELF, YOU ONLY SEE WHAT IT DOES, and it does not want you to succeed because it wants to feed off you via negative emotion, SO IT WILL CONTINUALLY WORK TO CREATE THOSE CONDITIONS, so that is when you know it is ACTIVE. Not all the time, particularly if it is well fed at this moment or other, but Fake You cannot appear when you are Self Conscious to some degree, as Fake You needs to distract you to do it’s worst. Watch out for those distractions, those negative thoughts or worries, they are not real, TAKE A MOMENT AND SMILE when you spot them – THE KEY TO WINNING ALL YOUR FIGHTS IS TO KNOW YOUR ENEMY IS THERE AND TAKE MORE CARE = BE AS SELF CONSCIOUS AS YOU CAN.
To end this very long introduction, it is useful to know how your False Self gets started and grows, as it will help you understand it, and characterize it better. So the quick and dirty version – long ago, often as a teenager, you had some emotional, negative experience you repressed as a weakness, as a bad thing ‘you did’ or ‘didn’t do’, usually forced on you but which you see as a ‘personal failing’, that becomes a LIMITING BELIEF or cluster of beliefs. This is repressed (so you forget it) but acts like a crack in your armor, a gap in the pavement for the WEED of Fake You to put down roots and grow and GROW as you compensate for this unconscious belief by acting differently, which causes what 4th wayers call the KEY FEATURE of you False Self – a double-sided ‘coin’ like thing. On the DARK side of the coin is the masked behavior you use to compensate, which is usually a very negative and limiting BITCH, often even self-destructive in Gifted folks, and becomes the key avenue that Fake You uses to control you. On the LIGHT side of this coin is what Fake You uses to mask the Dark side so it disappears from YOUR everyday view, and is the JUSTIFICATION, or better ‘distorted’ NEED for the Dark side behavior, what you tell yourself as a form of INTERNAL CLEVERNESS, what 4th Wayers call ‘Internal Considering’. So your Key Features Light Side becomes a bit of a mind fuck that you are VERY, and I mean V.E.R.Y. attached too, even base your whole worldview on, whilst being blissfully unaware of its Dark side…
Yep, the Key Feature of your False Self is a CLEVER+BITCH, but you only see the Clever as its INTERNAL, everyone else sees the Bitch as its EXTERNAL, and I mean everyone, all around you over time. Now however artfully this is written most gifted folks just get ‘Bla Bla, fucking Bla’ when they read the above as your Fake Self filters it out real quick, so the ‘click’, the ‘ah ha’ moment, the bloody SHOCK of this only comes when you get this – the Dark Side Key Feature behaviors of your False Self are ALWAYS MASKED IN THE MOMENT BY THE INSTANT JUSTIFICATION of the Light side, so YOU don’t experience them, they are habitual aspects of your character, they ARE AUTOMATIC. YES – YOU ARE DOING NEGATIVE, NASTY THINGS EVERYDAY YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF WITH/TO OTHERS AND THEY ARE ACTING DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE OF IT, BUT YOU DON’T ‘KNOW’ THAT. THIS IS THE KEY WAY A STRONG FAKE SELF CONTROLS YOUR LIFE – IT ‘OWNS YOU’. See your Fake Self goes on to use that hidden Bitchy and secret Cleverness to CONTROL YOU TOTALLY, as it can now hide what it is doing from you BECAUSE YOU ‘BELIEVE’ IN IT, IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD TO BE ‘IT’.
Yes, this is the reason for the saying ‘PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL’ – it is the ANIMAL CLEVER in you that is USED TO FUCK YOU AS A DISTRACTION. And you love that part of you don’t you, you LOVE TO FEEL CLEVER, PROUD, so Fake You just goes right on FUCKING YOU, every damn day, YOU don’t even WANT TO NOTICE, you could NEVER QUESTION ALL THOSE PARTS OF YOURSELF YOU LOVE SO FUCKING MUCH. See that is why your Fake Self always ‘makes you feel clever’ in all those cunning, glamourous, special, creepy little secret moments it uses to DESTROY YOU, stupid. That meaningless little thrill is all it has to do to OWN YOU, so your willing justification is ensured, every fucking time…
See this – the justification is so fast you don’t even THINK you have just been a weird bastard/bitch AGAIN, because the justification ALWAYS smoothers it – you think you were RIGHT TO ACT THIS WAY, and the moment is gone, even though you just did this or that ill shit, a moment ago. BUT THIS IS THE REAL ‘MIND FUCK’ BIT – the Dark Side behavior actually re-inforces the initial weak and cowardly REPRESSION, it ACTUALLY CAUSES IT TO HAPPEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO YOU IN SOME WAY AS YOU APPEAR TO BE ‘ASKING FOR IT’. But you don’t know why anymore, because it is gone from your head, it is masked by the Justification, the NEED FOR RIGHTNESS/REVENGE/RESTITUTION/RELIEF. This is the BIG reason all folks like me HATE ALL IDEALISM, even the self-righteousness of ‘Karens’ as a form of mental illness as its a VERY dangerous way to be – it is ALL FAKE – even if the cause is clearly good, there is often a VERY dangerous Dark Side to it, WHICH IS THE ACTUAL POINT OF IT. Yep, look at all the horrible people in the world who ‘bask’ in this good cause or that one, whilst checking out all the buffoons, the deeply flawed and foolish folk who are actually trying to get ‘the right shit done’, often as a form of their ‘manifest destiny’. (Sorry Boris)
Now I always use THIS example to teach key features, as it’s one of the most common for the GIFTED, particularly women but often men too these days. It is what is best regarded as the modern, socialized ‘Cult of the People Pleaser’, which is one of the very worst key features to have, much as it is one of the few that can WORK BOTH WAYS – it can be Light (conscious) AND a Dark side (unconscious side). Now the behaviors associated with being a Pleaser CAN BE HIGHLY GENUINE on rare occasions for gifted who wish to impress folks they intuitively know are at or above their level and therefore wish to form a connection or find it is almost forced on them by RESONANCE. They use a Pleaser style because they want more of this, as their Real Self KNOWS IT IS GOOD FOR THEM, JUST KNOW THAT IS VERY RARE – WILL BE NO MORE THAN 6-8 FOLKS IN A LIFETIME, and is totally unconscious. However once ‘tasted’ this experience can lead gifted folks seriously astray…
Now…. if you THINK you are a pleaser AS A LIGHT SIDE, then it is most likely YOU ARE NOT – being a pleaser is what you tell yourself to justify BEING AN ICE-COLD, nasty, self-obsessed BITCH AS YOUR ACTUAL KEY FEATURE (Dark Side), but you focus on harvesting nice comments once or twice a week as a little project to create the illusion you are pleaser, SO YOU CAN GO ON BEING A CUNT MOST OF THE TIME. You routinely think you have been so lovely to people that when you open their Xmas gifts and find them shit, you catch yourself going ‘.. and after how NICE I’ve been to them this year…’ whilst making a mental note to send them recycled soap next year (which in reality you already did last year, hence their shit gift this year, because you are a cunt..). YOU DELUDE YOURSELF. However, if you think you are a Rock’nRoll beeyatcha, all dressed up to party, ripping it up and doing it ‘your way or the highway and devil take it’ then you are MOST LIKELY a HIGH-LEVEL PLEASER, a DOORMAT, who goes hugely out of there way to be ‘nice’ to everyone as you desperately want them to like you, often through a very low personal valuation formed in childhood but sometimes it’s at an ESSENCE level. The Light side ‘Cool Beeyatch’ is what you tell yourself to justify being nice and giving into to everyone as a favor, as you think you are normally ‘Da Shit’ and everyone loves you, so its not a problem overall, yet ‘LOST SOUL DOORMAT’ is what everyone else sees – SO YOU DELUDE YOURSELF. Check yourself for these x2, it’s not true in every case, as there are many other Dark side reasons for these Light side behaviors, for men particularly, but it’s well over 50% of GIFTED women…
Quick teacher secret on this one for you – if you recognize yourself above but TOTALLY RECOIL FROM THE TRUTH OF IT THEN IT IS GUARANTEED TO BE TRUE FOR YOU, 100%. See this is one of those high level ones that is extremely difficult to face, much as it often been going on since childhood, it is actually who ‘you are’ to the point you ‘love it’ about yourself, and its CORRUPTION reaches into every aspect of your life – your Fake Self is at a level that some folks call ‘evil’. BE CLEAR, no matter how nasty being a ‘Fake Pleaser’ is, BEING A ‘FAKE BITCH’ (BUT A REAL DOORMAT) IS ONE OF THE DEADLIEST KEY FEATURES to have – being a LOST SOUL unconsciously is one of the most common ways some of the most highly gifted, intelligent, kind, honorable and decent women DESTROY BOTH THEMSELVES AND THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM. If you even suspect this is you then ACT NOW, focusing on changing this above all else in your life NOW, otherwise you are fucking doomed – make a point of ACTUALLY being a BITCH to all these folks who have used your stupidity up to now, trust me THEY ALREADY KNOW, they think you are the dumbest little freak on the planet, and you must cure them of that.
So REMIND YOURSELF CONSTANTLY OF THE TRUTH, IT WILL HELP YOU STICK THE KNIFE IN AND BURN THEM, particularly any ‘replacement parasite’ types, who get you to ‘do stuff for others as a favor to them’ – make a point of hurting those people as a priority, and I mean HURT THEM SO THEY DON’T FORGET IT. See those bitches are often ‘Fake Pleasers’, they think they are NICE, so you can help them with that too… Know, however hard it is to SEE this and ACCEPT it about yourself, that ‘CURED’ ‘Fake Beeyatches’ are OFTEN THE BEST CANDIDATES FOR THIS PATH, it will come naturally to you now and it WILL WORK FAST, so we love them here, no matter how ‘wearing’ the ‘holding action’ is to both reject them and be so ‘nice’ that they become Brave out of frustration. However, cured ‘Fake Pleasers’ tend to need to fail at life and burn for a while, as the EMBARRASSMENT of facing themselves can be too much for secret bitches, and they often backslide first chance they get, even after they have started the path – they are too addicted to their multi-layered, labyrinthine deviousness, as it is all they really have, now they know everyone hates them. So never underestimate the potential darkness of this type, what they are capable off and GET RID OF THEM – the hospitals for the criminally insane are full of them. I’ve met a couple who genuinely merited the title ‘possessed’, yet they thought they were GOOD, in some REALLY twisted way – they mainline the 3 most poisonous of all character flaws: Toxic, Attention Seeking Instability; Victim Strength Narcissism; and Controlling via Self-Righteous Indignation = Cut them off at the knees.
We will chat more about this below, for now just know that if ‘GIFTED you’ can FIND THE KEY FEATURE OF YOUR FAKE SELF YOU CAN CUT THE BITCH OFF AT THE ROOTS, THEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL IMPROVE, IMMEDIATELY ON SEVERAL NORMAL, AND PARTICULARLY SPIRITUAL LEVELS. Your Fake Self will slowly crumble away day by day as it has very little to sustain it, and this point is usually regarded by serious Zen schools as the real start of your path toward BECOMING the Real You. So START TO LOOK FOR IT in your conscious JUSTIFICATIONS, or have a VERY good teacher or VERY trusted friend give you a hint about the Dark Side of your Key Feature and then go looking for it, open your mind and TRY. Then focus on believing it, as you won’t want to, indeed, in some this is the fabled ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ (Christian Mysticism), the Existential Crisis of their lives, but to be honest I’ve always found that with a solid understanding of this stuff (as per this post) many folks can actually skip through this aspect of development in a fucking day, IF THAY HAVE THE BALLS TO FACE AND ACCEPT THEIR FAKE SELF IS WHO THEY ARE AND CHANGE.
INDEED THEY COME TO WANT IT, LOVE IT, as to a degree they can DISOWN EVERYTHING they hate about themselves, ALL THEIR FAILURE, as they can SEE NOW IT WAS NOT WHAT THEY MEANT AT ALL. And that is the FUCKING POINT – To see your Fake Self is to see yourself as OTHERS SEE AND REACT TO YOU, not what you ‘think’ they see, indeed not what you want them to see. So for YOU, all the motivated, I’ll give you all a little treat now – YOUR FAKE PERSONALITY IS WHAT TURNS BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN PLAIN, THEN UGLY, THEN SICK. Yep, the more you live in your ‘Fake Self’, the uglier you get, every damn day, some even hit the fairy tale monster stage long before they die… And you don’t want that, particularly as aging gracefully, if not actually becoming more attractive over time, is the Birthright of the gifted…
Got that? Great, YOU ARE ON THE TRAIN NOW – Don’t worry about this stuff when you can’t see it, yet, its a level thing, this post is about giving you the reason why, and the background to all this so you can see why you need to TRY. Much as with a strong Fake Self it can be amusing to have folks sit in front of a mirror and watch/listen to themselves when they have a call with someone they often have to DEFEND THEMSELVES against, to see how their face, voice, posture changes when in the grip of Fake You, it is mainly for later.
So today I need to teach you STANDARDS, new ‘values’ you hold yourself against in very specific circumstances – taught as protocols, ways to ACT differently – YOU MUST LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR REACTIONS. Standards as a concept are rarely explained as a mechanism but I always do it as it seems to help, folks find it easier to TRY when they know why they TRY, how trying works in this case. So the quick and easy version – YOU must start from where you are now, from the animal level of consciousness, so all you have to motivate you reliably is ‘Fear and Self Interest’. We cannot use Self Interest at the start as you already think this is about ‘giving things up’, so we have to use FEAR, as it has been used in all religions since the beginning of time, BUT not in a religious way, not in a fear of god way, fear of eternal damnation way, as that NEVER works these days, and is not true either.. No, we teach these standards as part of the ‘Path of the Aristos’, so the Fear you use to compel yourself is the FEAR OF EMBARRASSMENT, of self-shame. Much as it sounds like nothing compared to the self-interest of your Decadence, your Fake Self, but trust me it is VERY EFFECTIVE, particularly when folks understand that this is a fight to the death. FEAR IS THE ONLY RELIABLE EMOTIONAL POWER YOU CAN SELF-GENERATE AT THE START – USE IT, ELSE FAKE YOU WILL ALWAYS WIN IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION.
Now the reason I go out of my way to explain this is simple – the Fear of Shame process is a low-level FORM OF CATHARSIS and a very easy one to do at the start. Using this process is actually an easy variant of the 3 Force process I have explained to you elsewhere, as it brings your Real Self as a form of Conscience up against your Fake Self’s dislike of Standards and uses Fear as the deciding factor. This Fear is then transformed in a visceral way to give you what is best described as a little ‘power thrill’ in the moment and therefore is a very effective gateway into ‘Power Over Yourself’. This is the signature mechanism of the ARISTOCRAT, of what you need to get good at, so this combination of forces is an ideal transition into this style of living, so for now try and get used to it as a pattern – feel the win of looking at the 2nd piece of cake and saying to yourself ‘Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels’ (Sorry Kate Moss). Try and work out the most effective form of self-generating fear via potential shame, it is different for anyone but best place to start is to ‘evoke’ a previous sense of real shame your once felt for ACTING someway in the moment that was DISLOYAL to someone you cared about, who later found out you had done it, totally destroying any benefit you felt at the time – you humiliated yourself for NOTHING, out of habit. You may have something better, but that one always works at some level.
To enable this Fear of Shaming yourself we also have to use the other great spiritual concept from the East, ‘To Look Inside’, again with a brief explanation of how this works as process because otherwise, you might end up staring into the abyss of you like some corporate ‘mindfulness’ fool, expecting it to help. Quick and easy version – the key mechanism that is the bedrock of Fake You is to distract you in the moment, therefore it tries to keep you permanently distracted to a greater or lesser DEGREE by getting you to focus on the EXTERNAL world through your senses, as soon as you wake up. Indeed the only time you use a proper split attention is when you wake up and just before you sleep, why those times feature so big in many spiritual paths, as your Fake Self owns your dumb ass for the rest of the day.
Therefore you must use the methods in this post to try and get back a perm Internal focus, starting with a semi-perm’ body consciousness’, that you achieve by withdrawing much of your attention from the outside world via the process of peripheral vision – The Secret of Attention. You need to stop staring at the world and start staring at yourself, in a casual off hand manner at first, but as your power of consciousness grows you will start to find it VERY NATURAL, and comfortable, as staring at one external thing after another triggers various patterns at an animal level of consciousness that keep you stuck in low-level arousal, which Fake You loves to distract you with. We need to get you back to a ‘Normal State’, for the gifted, you need to stop being an animal all the time, you need to stop ‘identifying’ with every little thing like it’s about to fucking kill you, you need to calm the down and start to notice the real shit that going on, ok?
To finish this intro, I’m sure by now you have figured out that nothing is mentioned in these posts by accident, so here is a quick sidebar on the killer Conscience Level emotion that is LOYALTY, THE GATEWAY TO ‘HONOR’. In our day and age, particularly in the last 50 years, Loyalty has largely disappeared from the curriculum, it has become unnecessary in daily life, and Disloyalty in all things is accepted as normal. IT IS NOTHING THESE DAYS TO LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL FROM EVEN THOSE YOU CLAIM TO LOVE, WHO CLAIM TO LOVE YOU BACK – EVERYONE DOES IT. SO BEST KNOW NOW – Once you get past the start of this process, once you know the rules and have some level you must find and reclaim your sense of LOYALTY, TO YOURSELF, TO YOUR OWN KIND (OTHER GIFTED) AND TO THIS PATH.
See Disloyalty is the No1 way a strong Fake You goes after a highly gifted hedonist, the way it tricks them into continually poisoning themselves, and hence their Real You, forever weakening their conscience-level emotions, almost as a Fake form of ‘strength of character’, which they, VERY STUPIDITY, believe is a good thing, it’s ‘cool’, which hides the fact that it is a form of spiritual suicide from Fake You. This makes you ‘ugly’ in every sense of the word faster than just about anything else, and many feckless fools destroy their chances of development much earlier than normal Hedonism would ever do by itself – NO LOYALTY = NO HONOR = PARASITIC ANIMAL.
It is way to early to explain this as you need to have a good sense for the feeling of spiritual power moving internally, but I’m always amazed at just how much many gifted folks VALUE LOYALTY NATURALLY EVEN NOW, WITH NO TEACHING, FROM THE BOSS WHO PROMOTES WEAKER SUBORDINATES BECAUSE OF THEIR DEDICATION, TO THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO ONLY VALUES THOSE WHO ‘HAVE THEIR BACK’. (Sorry Dua Lupa). See Loyalty as a feeling in the gifted is directly related to the strength and content of the CONNECTION THEY FEEL, it is a real thing, like all spiritual standards IF YOU ARE GIFTED, many younger women even chase this feeling and make one colossal mistake after another because of it. In the right circumstances, your feeling of loyalty to someone and expectation of loyalty in return leads to the much FABLED SENSE OF HONOR, which is actually the sense of energy flowing between you, helping you, and boosting your level. This can be so strong as to make it impossible to break this connection ‘knowingly’, and most Highly Gifted need to believe that the one they are connected to has been disloyal to them first, leading to another common phrase you hear – the bitch is ‘dead to me’.
It should be clear to you now that Disloyalty as a character trait is the No1 way we can see how dominant your Fake Self is, particularly through the pursuit of our ‘modern ways’ favorite ‘life fuck’ – the addiction to a ‘secret life’, hook up culture, affairs etc. You will go no further as a flakey, unreliable little rodent, creeping around saying and doing whatever suits the ‘needs of the moment’, with no backbone, no spine, as you will HAVE NO CONSEQUENCE, AND NO ONE WILL BELIEVE A WORD YOU SAY. Please understand this – after you start this path the need for Loyalty to THOSE YOU HAVE A CONNECTION WITH IS FORCED ON YOU BY REAL YOU, so if you reject this, and continue to live ‘the modern way’, you are NOTHING, indeed you are the worst kind of Fake You. FOR NOW JUST KNOW THAT FOLKS LIKE ME TAKE THE DISLOYALTY OF OTHER GIFTED VERY, MOTHERFUCKINGLY, LIFECHANGINGLY SERIOUSLY. And you must DO to, but not to animals, no, they have no conscience so no feeling of loyalty by definition, so the concept is lost on them – in many cases its dangerous to be loyal to animals, as it becomes a form of Gas Lighting by parasites. But please think how you act to your own kind, AS IT REALLY MATTERS, way more than you could ever imagine in terms of HOW THAT CONNECTION WORKS, as for many of you the strength of that connection is ALL THAT IS KEEPING YOU OUT OF THE FIRE, RIGHT NOW.
This Loyalty thing becomes very important once you start, and teachers like me take it very seriously WHEN THE STUDENT HAS SOME SORT OF CONNECTION TO ME, to the point that is the most common reason we reject students, much as we usually give them many, many chances to ‘recant’ as we NEVER expect you to know this beforehand, when they clearly can’t they have to go – their Fake Self owns them. Should you have children, do them a BIG favour, teach them loyalty to your Bloodline ABOVE ALL ELSE (forget Laws/Society/Politics/Others etc), burn it into them at a Chauvinistic level (from a Frenchman who once said ‘my country – right or wrong’). Whatever else happens to them in life developing their sense of connection to their family will go a long way to keeping them ‘strong’. See having children, even good relationships with your siblings is one of the few ways you will both have and appreciate the value of Loyalty naturally, often valuing it way above your romantic relationships, so find that sense of honor for yourself there, if you can. Interesting to note that this is one of the ways the world of organized crime has your fake society beat – loyalty between ‘professional’ criminals is taken deadly seriously, simply because it is often the difference between life and death on a day-to-day basis, and disloyalty is a literal death sentence. But I digress…
For now just know that disloyalty, particularly at a repeat ‘reputational’ level is a deadly thing, quite apart from the spiritual effect with your own kind. See once everyone knows you are disloyal to the point you merit the phrase ‘feckless bitch’, they will turn on you, not to your face normally, but behind your back, as they will need to insure their reputation by ensuring everyone knows they think you are a piece of shit, and they are just being ‘nice’ to you. See, your disloyalty taints them, taints your relationship with them, makes it meaningless, and your friendship becomes worthless, even for the animals and parasites, so they will need to ‘put you down’, usually as some form of humiliating gossip, often to the folks you have identified as your enemies, for added effect. TRUST ME, there is nothing truer than this, so if this is you then you must stand and fight your Fake Self or perish, as there is no running away from that level of Fake You, as you will take it with you wherever you go…
So let’s get on with it shall we, I’m going to TRY and keep this one short…(Joking, its 40K words…)
Key Lesson – Being conscious of yourself in the 3rd person is HARD at the start, BUT there are x2 specific occasions of daily activity that are MOMENTS OF CONSCIENCE, that bring the Real You briefly to the front of your consciousness, that you can recognize and use to DEVELOP YOURSELF. These moments are PRICELESS as they enable the beginning of ‘Power Over Yourself’ with a degree of confidence in the process – you can be sure that there is some aspect of Real You involved at that moment AND you can follow a set formula to empower Real You to TAKE CONTROL and feed itself INSTEAD of letting Fake You Eat YOU. This is how this process works – in these moments Real You has spotted that Fake You is about to ‘Eat Your Lunch’, so you just need to listen to Real You instead of going along with Fake You by Stopping Fake You and so build Real You, while weakening Fake You over time. You must do this IN THE MOMENT OF REAL YOU BEING THERE, it is not a yoga class or meditation session, you must recognize the FIGHT in yourself BEFORE IT ACTS OUT and CHOOSE THE RIGHT BLOODY SIDE.
To start – know what we are talking about here is presented in the exact same way for all of these ‘How to be Gifted’ posts – we explain what you do and why you do it at the same time, so YOU understand how this fits together, as KNOWLEDGE. You must get why some bits of VERY important to get early on in this post, to place the whole process in your mind as a PATTERN that you must repeat and repeat, over and over until it starts to work, understanding why it will be hard in terms of the FIGHT that Fake You will put up to stop you TRYING, and so be empowered to TRY MORE, as you get what this is, OK?
Yep, it’s time to understand the process of ‘your transition’ in an everyday sense in a bit more detail. I know, it’s easy for folks like me to say ‘Grow Up’ all the time but that does not work so well on folks like you – your society actively encourages you to NOT grow up these days, as it makes you much easier to control. So much as the concept of growing up is still used, to value long term and powerful goals over instant fun, shorter term and easier ones that destroy you, to DELAY GRATIFICATION FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT, you can’t do that, cause you don’t understand how this works, in an everyday sense. You don’t get the concept of ‘values’ in your life, as you probably ONLY HAVE ONE – THE VALUE OF UNSCHOOLED CATHARSIS, WHICH YOU CHASE. YES, THERE ARE MANY OTHER TYPES OF GIFTED BUT ‘YOU’ ARE READING THIS, AND I TEACH USNCHOOLED HEDONISTS.
So, YOU must KNOW AND GET this – YOU ARE DIFFERENT, GIFTED AND THEREFORE CHASE UNSCHOOLED CATHARSIS IN SOME WAY AS YOUR PRIMARY GOAL IN LIFE. NOTHING ELSE REALLY MATTERS TO YOU, everything else you do is simply to maintain yourself in the world and is largely FORCED ON YOU BY YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES because you don’t feel it. Without any training, this unschooled Catharsis causes you to grow and empower YOUR FAKE SELF, which is lazy, disloyal, dishonest, feckless, unstable, cowardly, gutless and trivial – this is the part of you we are constantly slagging off, NOT REAL YOU, who we VALUE VERY HIGHLY. Everyday YOU is not very NICE is ‘it’, indeed many seekers are often amazed at just how much even their closest associates in their old life actually loathe them as people, see them as a bit of a ‘basket case’, and consequently treat them badly because they is no point in being kind to the likes of you, is there – you are a messy, evil little bitch/bastard with addiction issues, you deserve what happens to you, BUT you think you are COOL. Bad news… you’re an embarrassment…
So the first stage of this transition is to UNDERSTAND THIS FAKE PART OF YOURSELF AND SEPARATE IT OUT – FAKE YOU IS NOT YOU, ‘YOU’ ARE ACTUALLY REAL YOU, BUT FAKE YOU IS CURRENTLY DRIVING ANIMAL YOU AND IN TOTAL CONTROL. REAL YOU IS OFTEN ONLY PRESENT IN YOUR LIFE WHEN FAKE YOU IS SATISFIED FOR A WHILE AND CHECKS OUT FOR A BIT, BUT ALSO OFTEN APPEARS AS YOUR CONSCIENCE. You must recognize and use these moments to grow Real You back into your life, help YOU take control more and more SO YOU CAN FIGHT FAKE YOU, the unconscious machine that controls you like an evil little drug pusher, forever short-changing you…
So, (very obviously), one of the best places to start in this transition is to LEARN TO DEVALUE YOUR FAKE SENSE OF SELF, TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR DAY-TO-DAY SELF IS NOTHING AND NO ONE IN THIS WORLD. You won’t be able to disown your fake self at this point, but it is important to see it as ‘other than you’, so you can separate yourself out from what old shit you has done, which OTHERWISE YOU HAVE TO DEFEND AS YOURSELF. That was then and this is now, you understand now, you did not before so it’s OK TO DO THIS, to recognize Fake You is a bit of a cunt, and feel that SHAME whenever you can – it is an amazing sign you are GIFTED and can still be helped. BUT YOU CANNOT BE HELPED IF YOU KEEP BELIEVING YOU ARE RIGHT, IF YOU KEEP SEEING YOUR TRIVIAL EGO AS YOU, AS IT WILL STOP YOU FROM HELPING YOURSELF, STOP YOU TRYING IN ORDER TO DEFEND ITSELF. You are a mess – it’s not your fault you’re a mess BUT you must ACCEPT YOUR ARE A MESS AND STOP TRYING TO DEFEND IT. Ego defense is the deadliest trap at the start, so accept you are a stupid, delusional tool and stop trying to be right, we need to talk to REAL YOU for the rest of this post to work.
So before reading on – know ‘YOU’ ARE AMAZING, BUT FAKE YOU HAS TOTALLY FAILED YOU. Indeed what you DO betrays your level and stupidity to everyone – you embarrass yourself and all the rest of your kind with your low-quality, CREEPY Bullshit. You should be on ‘top of this world’ but instead you creep around at the bottom as food for parasites, acting out the same tragic, tedious patterns and slowly but surely becoming a parasite yourself, hiding in the shadows to chase a putrid, nasty version of the catharsis you need.
YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO LOSE BY GOING AGAINST YOUR FAKE SELF AND TRYING TO DEVELOP YOURSELF. But take heart, you are not ‘Seal’, you don’t need to go ‘a little bit crazy’, you don’t need to be born again, or some type of ‘intervention’ that never comes as you are ‘not worth it’. YOU need to go a little bit ARISTOCRATIC, as some small part of you already knows you are better than these freaks who surround you. So take a cold hard look at what you actually DO to get by in your life, rather than the imaginary world you live in, and understand the VAST majority of it is simply to comfort yourself for the failure of your FAKE SELF, as you slowly fade way.
Its time to START TO HATE THAT, start to hate what you have become… BUT not in some mentally ill, split personality way – on this path we LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOUR FAKE SELF AND ITS DEMANDS, indeed all your external parasites too, as that is THE EASIEST Catharsis trigger to use that takes back the power Fake You is using to control you at the moment, so you can EAT IT YOURSELF. See Fake You is a bit Power Crazed, as it needs to be to survive, and as with all deeply Authoritarian types IT hates being laughed at for a reason – IT TAKES THEIR POWER AWAY, it breaks the spell that otherwise binds you to its will, to its control. Remember this – fake you is not you, but controls you through using powerful delusion to manipulate you to DO what it wants, Fake You NEVER does what YOU want, NEVER protects you, helps you, develops you unless it can pervert it later to suits its goal – to bleed you dry.
Right, here we go… lets hit this HARD right at the start, as it will make the rest of it a LOT MORE INTERESTING:
You must get that there are 2 types of moments in your life when REAL YOU attempts to talk to you in your day-to-day activities – MOMENTS OF CONSCIENCE. These moments are NOT recognized by you currently as that, they don’t feel like that to you anymore, so you miss understand and often totally ignore them BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT FAKE YOU WANTS YOU TO DO, BUT IF YOU ARE GIFTED THEY ARE THERE, AND YOU NEED TO REVALUE THEM AS IMPORTANT. These are totally separate from any normal ‘conscience events’ you may have, which are much more powerful and linked to something you have ALREADY DONE, as they come over you ONLY when Fake You has drifted off to sleep and no longer cares what you feel, as its fat and happy for now – its won this round, its already taken your power, so it does not care if you regret it. But Real You DOES CARE, REAL YOU thinks you are killing yourself and is screaming at you in any way it can to get you to stop. See Real You does care about you, because IT IS YOU, stupid, IT IS LIFE ITSELF. Fake You does not give a damn – it is a PARASITE and is keeping you alive ONLY so it can FEED ON YOU and get stronger, so it seeks to KILL REAL YOU IN ORDER TO PROTECT ITSELF.
Yep, FAKE YOU must kill your CONSCIENCE… And it will eventually if YOU are dumb enough to let it, if YOU CONTINUE TO PICK THE WRONG FUCKING SIDE. See by continuing to pick FAKE YOU as your friend YOU MAKE IT STRONGER AND STRONGER EVERY MIN OF EVERY DAY… And it HATES you more and more. I know, Ironic eh, but giving into PARASITES makes them LOATHE you, see to them you are just dumb as fuck now, a silly little plaything, a dog toy no less, toward the end of this process they won’t either bother trying to hide and they will make it hurt too…
Now Fake You, your False Personality is a BIG TOPIC on the 4th Way, but thankfully one we don’t have to go into in-depth for you to be able to do these practices. However, repeating what I have already said about Parasites countless times IS WORTH repeating, as you NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT FAKE YOU LIVES AND DIES BY THE OG OF GANGSTA TRICKS – ESCALATION. See, you need to understand that fake You starts off small, and often waits its turn, using nothing more than perverting your learned patterns to cause Fridge Blindness, Forgetfulness, and Clumsiness, before slowly escalating to FANTASY, more and more living in your imagination so you take less and less notice of what is actually happening around you, particularly if you take a lot of drugs as a kid. Buts that’s not so bad, quite normal in fact but what comes next is not, what comes next is the beginning of your Fake Self GROWING LEGS, becoming increasingly empowered by YOUR UNSCHOOLED CATHARTIC MOMENTS, in fact taking so much of your power that it becomes COOL, indeed you hit that difficult milestone where your Worse, Fake Self becomes your BEST, MOST EFFECTIVE, HAPPY SELF, at the expense of REAL YOU. And this is when it gets dangerous for GIFTED HEDONISTS…
At this point many unschooled GIFTED start to actively side AGAINST their conscience, indeed they can start down the creepy secret life path so hard they see you, the teacher as the ENEMY, as they believe they are clever and no one knows they have become a dorky little Monster. They start to BUY THE ILLUSION, they are no longer really able to stop BY THEMSELVES and need what folks like me call an intervention. I’ve done a couple of these in my time (danger to life types), and trust me in this, THEY ARE NOT FUN, much as some remain some of closest allies in this world as you would expect, sometimes they are on so much medication they don’t even remember what actually happened. Its a rough ride, but I was dragged up hard as a kid, given standards, and taught to be self-reliant above all things, so frankly I’ve seen and done much worse.
But that is NOT the worst of it, THIS IS – at a certain moment, sometimes early, sometimes much later on (depending on the weakness of you own personality vs the unschooled power of your gift/preferred Catharsis) YOU START TO WANT THINGS YOU DON’T WANT. You actually know you don’t want them, indeed you go through this loop over and over again, chasing something you have chased before only to get it and HATE IT, for the illusion that made you want it evaporates in the moment. The reason for this is that FAKE YOU is now so confident it no longer bothers after you have fed it. It simply drives you into its favorite parasitic process over and over by making you want something at the end of that process. But as SOON as the process of EATING you has finished it tells you to fuck off and leaves you hanging, without a clue what you are doing there. THIS IS WHEN BEING A HEDONIST GETS SCARY, INDEED IF THIS IS YOU TAKE A MOMENT NOW AND QUESTION YOUR SANITY BECAUSE TRUST ME EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW ALREADY IS.
Now this next bit is one of those killer moments on this path, and one where we expect you to GET THIS, and BE MOTIVATED BY IT.
See in certain types of circumstances Fake You can become very powerful, so powerful that it becomes very arrogant, and only really shows up when it wants to eat, or to defend itself. This is VERY COMMON for highly gifted Hedonists, who experience their Fake Self in a very specific way, best referred to in Religious terms as the fabled ‘Shoulder Angels’ of Islam, much as Natalie Portman does a very good impression of this in the movie ‘Black Swan’ – you become split between 2 versions of yourself that totally control you in that moment, one at a time, so it is very hard to see the other one at the time. Normally, at lower levels of gift particularly, folks can easily see their self-destructive selves, they can self-check in the moment and stop, however when your Fake Self becomes very powerful YOU CAN’T. This is something I know well, indeed this is the big reason why most teachers don’t accept gifted Hedonists as students, and most religions ban any type of Cathartic behaviors or practices (ie Christianity refers to them as either Pagan or Witchcraft), even sex, as they see them as dangerous – they can make FAKE YOU MUCH STRONGER IF THEY ARE MAKING YOU DO UNSCHOOLED CATHARSIS. To be clear they are not dangerous in themselves, they are dangerous because left to their own devices, your Fake Self will use them to grow bigger and BIGGER, and by definition STOP YOU DEVELOPING.
This is a big problem for all seekers but particularly Hedonists, with even motivated ones getting trapped by this – the Russian 4th Way goes so far as to say that’s it, you can no longer be helped AT ALL, but that is NOT TRUE much as it requires VERY SPECIFIC TECHNIQUES TO DO IT. Before the next para it’s IMPORTANT YOU GET THIS – normally it is quite easy for Real You to STAND AGAINST FAKE YOU, for it to both see and stop it. HOWEVER, your Fake Self can become powerful enough via unschooled hedonistic Catharsis to control you TOTALLY, so it will stop you from developing, in order to defend itself. Your fake self is well aware of Real You, the power of Real You, of the threat Real You is to IT, and will invest huge time and resources in DESTROYING Real You because of this – as then it is FREE to abuse you until the grave. And I mean it will TRICK YOU with illusions – pain becomes pleasure, fear becomes joy, black becomes white, your parasites become your squad, your failure is your success FOR THE TIME YOUR FAKE SELF IS CONTROLLING YOU.
Amongst 4th wayers on the Left-Hand path this is what is called DOUBLE CRYSTALLISATION, and is seen as a very BAD THING. See there are literally 2 of you now, and everything you do has to be questioned, EVEN YOU KNOW THERE ARE TIMES WHEN YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL, EVEN TIMES YOU DON’T REMEMBER AT ALL.
HOWEVER, given all of that is bad, here is the good news, INDEED HERE IS THE CORE REASONING BEHIND WHY THIS SYSTEM IS THE WAY IT IS, WHY I GO ON AND ON ABOUT PARASITES, ABOUT THE NEED FOR POWER OVER YOURSELF, WHY I USE THE ANCIENT WAY OF THE ARISTOCRAT – THIS SYSTEM IS DESIGNED FOR FOLKS WHO HAVE VERY STRONG FAKE SELVES, UP TO AND INCLUDING FULL BLOWN DOUBLE CRYSTALLISATION.
This system is for Aristocrats, Royalty, and was developed BECAUSE of this double crystallization, because all ancient Royalty go through a particular form of Catharsis that ALWAYS leads to this problem – THEY HAVE TO FIGHT TO SURVIVE. Much as even I am not going to detail this in writing, fighting over and over again, CASUAL near-death experiences and KILLING lots of people IS A VERY POWERFUL FORM OF CATHARSIS, WHICH IS BOTH HIGHLY ADDICTIVE AND ALWAYS CAUSES DOUBLE CRYSTALLISATION. Get this clear – this system was invented and has been used for thousands of years specifically FOR THE WARRIOR CLASS, FOR THOSE WHO FIGHT.
See, I know that pretty much ALL Gifted Hedonists, and particularly the HIGHLY GIFTED ones have Double Crystallisation, developed through UNSCHOOLED CATHARSIS. Yes, I know it is highly unlikely you have ever fought let alone killed anyone, BUT if you are very weak and/or persevere with all things Sex, Drugs, and Rock an Roll, you will get there, often quite early on for ‘modern’, liberated women with a high libido too – you become fetishized. That is the reason you are looking at the seal of the Knights Templar as my chosen model for development and not the famous Bull Washing of Zen or our Western Version, ‘The Cult of Mithradates’, the Roman Legionary’s Left-Hand path of choice and the actual forerunner of all the Christain traditions you celebrate that strangely don’t appear in the Bible. I will talk more about this later, about the need to manage your Fake Selves power over you right now, about being stuck with the same method of catharsis your Fake Self prefers, about how to eat the food it is stealing from you, and how to kill it too eventually, when you are strong enough to take that loss and absorb it. But I digress, that is all for another time…
THIS IS THE POINT – FAKE YOU IS THE ENEMY, IT IS NOT REAL AND IT HATES YOU, TO THE POINT IT WILL WORK VERY HARD TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THESE PRACTICES. You must right now, right here get this issue – that all of these posts about BEING GIFTED have to cycle around this one issue – the big dog, stand-up FIGHT that is ‘Real You vs Fake You’, you must take THIS DEADLY SERIOUSLY, YOU MUST BE MOTIVATED BY IT, AND YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO FIGHT FOR REAL YOU. Please understand this – for the highly gifted this process is FORCED ON YOU FROM CHILDHOOD, your Hero’s journey of finding Real You in your life IS NOT OPTIONAL – you do it or Fake You will burn your house down. See Fake You is a machine with no consciousness, no compassion, no heart, Fake You seeks death, seeks the end in everything because without Real You, when Fake You has crushed Real You totally, you are already dead… FAKE YOU IS A PARASITE and, at the level of Double Crystallisation, it is a VERY STRONG ONE, but it is STILL NOT YOU – it is a ‘worm’ inside you that demands to be fed, but on this Path we are not Religious so we don’t starve it, WE FIGHT IT.
Try and burn this into yourself – as an old, retired teacher once said to me, no matter how COOL Fake You is in some way that appeals to you, it is an ENEMY who hates you, you just think its cool because IT WANTS YOU TO. But that’s not quite it, so try to see it this way – Fake You is an evil little drug pusher, and at a high level will MAKE YOU FEEL BAD so you seek comfort/release with the tiny amount of a drug you pay it heavily for, WHILST KEEPING THE VAST MAJORITY FOR ITSELF. Fake You keeps you trapped in the whole delusion this way, by give you a tiny taste of what is YOURS BY RIGHT, whilst stealing the rest from you – YOU CAN NEVER DEVELOP WITH STRONG FAKE YOU UNTIL YOU FIRST LEARN TO STOP HIM AND THEN TAKE YOUR POWER BACK. See fake You is ‘Sportin Life’, from Porgy and Bess, Fake You is clever and knows stuff, knows what you like and how weak you are, so Fake You can control you UNTIL YOU SEE HIM AND STOP HIM.
LASTLY IN THIS SECTION – at the start it IS A REALLY GOOD IDEA to start to test your transitory ‘Likes before the fact’, your Desires, as they are key signatures of what is Fake in you, while your Post Partum Dislikes, after the Fact, are the key signatures of Real You. The current low level of Real You shows why you really have so few Dislikes moment to moment, as you have no sense of higher ‘Taste’, you are all low-level animal Instinct, which is easy for Fake You to pervert AS IT CURRENTLY HOLDS THE REINS OF YOUR HORSE. You only see what you really feel about something when Fake You is fat and happy after a feed, then Real You can reach you – THIS IS WHAT SHAME IS, SO TRY AND REMEMBER YOUR SHAMES AND NOT REPEAT THEM LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT.
Fake You also uses instinctive Dislikes (usually some form of Discomfort/Tension/Annoying Pressure) based on proximity (Fake You can only see what you see), but only to protect itself from THREATS, as it knows they can see through it, and therefore YOU. Real You also has a particular fondness for your ‘sense of smell’ so try and become a bit more conscious of what things smell like AS THAT IS HARDER TO PERVERT, rather than ‘instinctively feel’ like in the moment all the fucking time like an animal. Your sense of sight/touch/taste are all heavily filtered through your patterns, so you sense what you ‘Expect’ to sense in a tiny range of what is actually there, so are much easier to pervert than Smell, which you can easily train yourself to appreciate at a higher level as you have much more limited expectation, so can smell many different smells at the same time – one of the key tricks of the Left-hand path is to ‘sense ALL of Reality’ again.
So DO Try and Remember all the things you wanted but regretted, and hated as soon as you had them at an animal level, fear/sex/drugs/rock ‘n all are all Fake You controlling Animal You to distract you at the moment – they are FAKE AND BEING USED TO CONTROL YOU. Real You cannot stop Fake You at the start UNLESS YOU RECOGNISE HIM AND PAUSE FOR THOUGHT, why we focus on developing ‘moments of confliction’. This should also START TO show any bits of Real You that have broken through, in terms of things that you wanted and loved when you got them because you discovered they were good for you too – THEY TOUCHED YOU AT A HIGHER LEVEL, LIKE HIGH SOUNDING CLASSIC MUSIC.
This will also show up in your meaningful relationships, where something at a higher level (can) overpower your (often) perverted negative instincts, usually appearing as ‘Beauty’ to unschooled you but is much more than that – it stays with you and refuses to leave your dreams, even after years. See these as the signatures of Real You, as its no.1 job is TO HELP YOU DEVELOP, EVEN JUST KEEP YOUR DUMBASS ALIVE TODAY, AND THAT MEANS IT HAS TO HELP YOU FIGHT FAKE YOU, who see’s you as food.
Good also to know that many Left-Hand paths see it as perfectly acceptable to Feed Fake you so they can then talk to Real You for a while, as for many it is the ONLY WAY YOU CAN START – Fake You has become so dominant it is there all the time otherwise. Obviously you need the right person for this, someone at or above your level and so can therefore BE BOTH types of what you need. Many ancient concepts of Royal marriage are based on this, particularly the Indian and East Asian stuff, where monogamy and the Hareem all originally had different spiritual purposes, now long forgotten. From our perspective, all this is done on a case-by-case basis, but must be surpassed before you can develop yourself to a Self Possessed level, so all such concepts of FEEDING YOUR DEMON SO IT LEAVES YOU ALONE must be done in a very organized and open way – IT REQUIRES A HIGH DEGREE OF TRUST BUILT ON FEELING GOOD BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER, not just before.
As you get older your instinctive power declines with your hormones, so many change anyway, it simply does not have the grip over you anymore HOWEVER IT NEVER LEAVES MANY GIFTED HEONISTS AND ACTUALLY CAN RESURGE LATER IN LIFE AS A SIDE EFFECT OF YOUR DEVELOPMENT, particularly if you are strongly affected by a relationship with someone else who is more gifted than you. Overall the obvious warning applies as this is a particularly nasty trap for the highly Gifted – Don’t chase relationships forever looking for ‘the one’ who will both feed your Demon and Develop higher you, YOU MUST KNOW THAT, TEST IT, BE CERTAIN OF IT BEFORE YOU ENGAGE, as IT IS MOST LIKELY JUST FAKE YOU FEEDING OFF YOU AGAIN. Long story short – if your desire fluctuates and is often sabotaged by circumstance BUT your appreciation for the Beauty NEVER changes, even gets deeper and more profound there is probably something REAL in it for you…
Got that? WE WILL TALK MORE ABOUT THIS LATER, but these are the basic of your SitRep, what you are up against, DON’T FORGET THEM. This is the context you must understand for the rest of this post…
So we start the technique – there are a number of BIG things to get about Riding yourself, being in command, but the 1st and most important one for you is this – Riding Yourself is a NEW ATTITUDE OF MIND, based on seeing this change as a BENEFIT, as a superpower no less, rather than a loss, as a burden, as a CHORE. You are doing this not only to BE better, but to FEEL BETTER. YOU MUST GET THIS UPFRONT if you are going to make a success of it, otherwise Fake You will give you so much shit about it you will weaken and backslide – see fake You will see this as a threat to its existence because that is what it is.
This is the core of this NEW ATTITUDE OF HOW TO BE GIFTED – THE KEY BENEFIT OF POWER OVER YOURSELF AT THE START IS THAT IT FEEDS THE GROWTH OF YOU BY EATING FAKE YOU. See, you can’t have both, you either grow Real You into your life OR you Feed Fake You, moment to moment, all day everyday. See Fake You is a completely false part of yourself that seeks your destruction, so IT NEEDS COLOSSAL AMOUNTS OF ENERGY TO MAINTAIN THAT ILLUSION, it is watching and tripping you up all the time. So ‘you’ must take Fake You’s food by GOING AGAINST FAKE YOU IN THE MOMENT, stopping it, which quite literally boosts you, builds REAL YOU, and you get smarter, more powerful, in that same moment of taking Fake You’s food.
Everything you get at the start, all the benefit of this process is at the EXPENSE of Fake You – Real You takes back control, little by little by eating what Fake You is stealing from YOU to build and maintain itself. In this Fake You becomes more and more passive, so it is easier and easier to control, and Real You becomes more and more Active, IN CONTROL BY DEFAULT. You switch round the Riders of your Horse, so Real You is upfront, and Fake You, your False Personality is simply hanging on, much as you will never get rid of those thoughts completely, you no longer Identify with them as you, indeed you see them as the pointless, lazy, immature ramblings of the silly, comfort-seeking little bitch you used to be – YOU WILL START TO LAUGH AT YOUR OLD SELF.
To underline this I’m going to explain something else connected with Riding your animal self way before you have the level to do – THE POWER OF GOALS. See, the ultimate way to Ride your animal self, to CONTROL IT is via SUB VOCALISING GOALS, ORDERS YOU TELL IT, in ever increasingly smaller things. To be clear – YOU STOP WAITING FOR A PART OF YOU TO REACT TO EXTERNAL EVENTS BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT TO THINK, YOU STOP ASSOCIATING AS THINKING, YOU FUCKING TELL YOURSELF WHAT TO THINK AND DO. The issue with the use of goals at a low level is that REAL YOU has to be ACTIVE to some degree, and Fake You Passive, as ONLY REAL YOU WILL HELP YOU WITH YOUR GOALS IF IT HEARS THEM. Fake You will simply laugh and ignore them, worse with a strong Fake Self you will actually often get the opposite of what you want – as Fake You hates you. Only Real You with help you, if it agrees with what you want, it is GOOD for you, protects you, develops you, BUT the majority of the time it is ONLY Fake You listening, as Real You is totally passive. Just try and remember Real You has the kind of power Fake You can only dream about in the highly gifted – Real You maybe thousands of years old, Fake You is a few decades, and therefore relies on conning your dumb ass to get anything…
Now I am going to use the ordering technique as part of this process, but ONLY as part of the moments of conscience, NOT as goals. For now if you want to practice using abstract goals as instructions to yourself you MUST USE A SYSTEM to try to force Real You to be Active in the moment of both deciding and using the GOAL, so I have included a simple version of the classic Zen method of forever asking your self who is thinking, who is talking, who is feeling what you experience in the moment. This is VERY HARD to do without some level, but some of you maybe able to do it. Just for now KNOW that ANY and all GOALS use choose must be personal (you are ‘in them’) and they must be a direct ‘line of sight’ to them (they are clearly possible where you are and where the goal is, it is a simple choice). Being able to see a ‘LINE’, a route to your goal IN YOUR MIND is CRUCIAL at an early stage, as that tells you if it is possible for you at your current level, but I digress, next time.
‘Is there any point in practice then’, you ask? YES – you must get used to forcing thought, thinking for ‘yourself’, not taking whatever thoughts occur as ‘your own’, because they are not, they are scattered, pointless habitual patterns that usually have no meaning, and are often being used against you. IT IS IMPORTANT TO THINK FOR YOURSELF, NOT JUST WHATEVER PATTERN-MATCHED ASSOCIATIONS OCCUR IN YOUR MIND IN A DUMBASS RANDOM SEQUENCE – THERE IS NO VALUE IN IT AND IT IS NOT YOU. You are what you WANT TO THINK, what you wish you were thinking, not some pattern that was cut in your head associated with some gOod or bad shit that happened long ago and far away – believing such patterns have meaning and therefore ARE YOU is the deadliest trap in all spirituality. Goal as orders even in small asap stuff like ‘go to bed’ are YOU, that is you saying the words in your head, they are not random. Don’t worry that the causes for your saying those thoughts are still largely your Fake Self, that does not matter yet, just focus on the moments of conscience as the key dynamic to practice in, as that will minimize your False Self Destructive B/S, as that is the point at the start…
Now, before we start the process proper it is VERY IMPORTANT to understand what I mean by Passive and Active, as all of this process hangs on your understanding of these words, and the x2 related terms of being ‘OVERWHELMED’ BY THOUGHT after a THOUGHT HAS BEEN ‘TRIGGERED’ by external circumstance, leading many GIFTED types to eventually become OPPRESSED BY THOUGHT. Overwhelmed means ‘You’ become identified with that thought and therefore you lose 3rd person perspective – YOU ACT OUT THAT THOUGHT IN THE 1ST PERSON BEFORE BEING AWARE OF THAT THOUGHT ON REFLECTION AND DECIDING IF YOU ARE GOING TO ACT ON IT. When you simply ACT OUT A THOUGHT IN THE 1ST PERSON that is Fake You/Animal You ACTING MECHANICALLY – THERE IS NO DECISION.
BUT when you become aware of that thought BEFORE acting it out that is the BEGINNING OF REAL YOU, in the guise of Deputy Steward, what Real You starts as when it has to compete against Fake You. We NEED REAL YOU to be ACTIVE and FAKE YOU to be PASSIVE, as much as possible, and later all the time.
Is that clear? No…? Ok, ITS VERY IMPORTANT YOU GET THIS, consider it this way…
CONSCIENCE MOMENT NO1 – When your boss makes a sarky comment that ‘triggers’ you, makes you mad, you become conscious you are mad, and tell him to ‘fuck off’ in your mind, BUT you say nothing, as you want to keep your job. See, this is when the basic Animal mechanisms work in your simplistic favour – your Animal FEAR overrides your Animal Level SELF-INTEREST, but you are still overwhelmed by that thought, you are identified with being mad, so you are still overwhelmed, you are just too scared to ACT IT OUT. If that was REAL YOU, then you would note the thought and DISMISS IT at the moment, because REAL YOU knows that it is only the total PUSSY that is Fake You would let someone affect you emotionally over such a trivial thing IN ORDER TO FEED OFF REAL YOU, before noting that they did not even mean that comment in a sarky way, its just Fake You is such a fragile bitch that you think the world revolves around your dumb ass, your Boss does not care if you live or die outside of the function you perform for them. You are doing a JOB for MONEY, end of story, it is not personal, indeed very little on the Left-Hand path is ‘personal’…
Understand this – your FEAR causes you to ‘pause for thought’, before acting out that thought, so you can use this to START to pause for thought ANYTIME YOU WANT TO ACT OUT NEGATIVE EMOTION BY BEING SCARED OF DOING IT. Real You can hijack this process of ‘Fake You’ ‘becoming scared’ to stop and show the world REAL YOU instead. See over time Real You can spot Fake You just before ACTING OUT because its EMBARRASSING to waste yourself out of giving in to your petty EGO – IT CAN STOP FAKE YOU SHOWING THE WORLD YOU ARE A PUSSY, you are FAKE. *Cringe…*
NOW, THIS IS THE CRUCIAL BIT – You can form an attitude in your mind RIGHT NOW to be scared of MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF, SHOWING YOURSELF UP AS A BITCH, IN DEVELOPMENT TERMS. You can use the patterns you have right now to redefine what you are scared off in order to modify this habitual behavior so it works for you, NOT AGAINST YOU. This NEW FEAR comes from VALUING YOUR DEVELOPMENT HIGHER THAN YOU DESIRE TO ACT OUT PETTY EMOTION because you are motivated. It’s a shortcut that will get you out of the blocks, but it is not ideal, because you are still identifying, AND most thoughts have no emotional weight, so you simply won’t notice them until after you have acted them out. So we need something else too, something to STOP YOU IDENTIFYING, becoming OVERWHELMED to go along with this new ‘fear’ stopping you from ACTING OUT, STOPPING YOU BEING TRIGGERED by all the trivial crap of life and pissing yourself away.
This breaking the state of identification is a LOT MORE COMPLEX, and requires both a higher level and to use your peripheral vision more than you focused vision to maintain all the time, BUT YOU CAN DO IT ON DEMAND in the moment when you become aware that Fake You is INCONVEINCING REAL YOU with thoughts and feelings that are CONTRADICTORY to other ones you have – you can use the momentary awareness of BEING CONFLICTED to generate a ‘pause for thought’, and then decide what is BEST and then ORDER YOUR ANIMAL SELF DO IT THAT IN THE 3RD PERSON, against what lazy, stupid, bored, sleepy Fake You wants to do. You can see these CONFLICTED moments as windows of opportunity to GO AGINST Fake You and EAT THE BASTARDS’ LUNCH because this conflicting episode causes you to notice them.
So, for this 2nd scenario, you must get used to STOPPING and ‘pausing for thought’ every time you are CONFLICTED, when you are trying to decide between several opposing things regarding different fear and self-interest driven points of view YOU HAVE AT THE SAMETIME. Easy eh? Sorry…
To break it down – identification as a state can best be summed up as a sliding scale of consciousness, sometimes you are more identified/less conscious than others. The trick, the core of the process of using conflicting thoughts is to DETECT them and then STOP whenever you can. Therefore there is a sweet spot in the power of that thought to affect you, where it is strong enough to notice, but weak enough for ‘you’ to stop. A basic, easy example – you are talking to your boss and you suddenly want to go to the toilet, and that urge builds very quickly, but stopping the conversation about your bonus right now really does not suit you. You are conflicted but identified with the urge to go, so you must break that identification of Fake You with the urge from Animal You, you must step up and stop this by turning down the feeling via instructing Animal You to ‘stop’, in a very specific way USING YOUR CHRISTIAN NAME. YOU DO NOT INSTRUCT FAKE YOU, THE FALSE PART OF YOURSELF WILL NOT LISTEN, YOU REJECT FAKE YOU BY OVERPOWERING THAT BITCH, AND IGNORING THEM.
Now, at the start without these 2 scenario types you will not be able to detect yourself becoming identified with thoughts and feelings at all without making a huge effort to do what other 4th ways refer to as Remembering Yourself, which is a deeply flawed process so beloved of PD Ouspensky, and you simply won’t have the focus to do this as a Hedonist, and it was arguably the biggest single failure in their system. We don’t make that mistake, we know you need baby steps to make this work, as and when the moment suits it. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is a weak version of that method, it is much more powerful as you focus on what you can DO, rather than waste yourself trying to do things you could never Do at the start. Rest assured the better you get at these two aspects the more you build yourself to be able to DO THIS ALL THE TIME, so there is simply no need to be perfect out of the box, you are harvesting your power for your own benefit as much as you can, it does not matter that you can’t do it all the time, it matters you can do it at all – BUILD YOURSELF AT THE EXPENSE OF FAKE YOU whenever you can.
Now, at this point in the study of How To Be Gifted many folks start to understand and accept the need for STANDARDS, codes of personal behavior for the BENEFIT TO THEMSELVES, not just to be GOOD, but to be good to your REAL SELF. They understand that these things are to do with DEVELOPMENT, BUT they are still TORN by the need for relaxation, comfort and cheap thrills as those PATTERNS ARE BURNT ON THEIR BRAIN. This is such an issue for many folks that even WITH A FULL UNDERSTANDING AND DESIRE TO DO, TO HAVE AND LIVE THESE STANDARDS, they can’t bring themselves to GIVE UP WHAT THEY LOSE, their old life as well. So they end up with some bastard hybrid of development that leads straight back to the domination of their FALSE self, their old, shit self, and they HATE IT. This is one of the major trip hazards at the beginning of development – the perception of giving something up that MAKES YOUR LIFE BEAREABLE, and without which you would have nothing worth living for. This is one of the major last tricks played on you by your Fake Self, when it starts to get worried that you are going to kill it…
To deal with this is simple, but often requires some time for you to get it yourself, so I will give you the pattern you need now – YOU ONLY VALUE YOUR COMFORT, YOUR CHEAP THRILLS, YOUR MISERABLE EASE IN THE CONTEXT OF YOUR CURRENT LIFE, THE LIFE OF A SLAVE. See, if you were no longer a slave to yourself and society, you would no longer value this shit you use to COPE WITH BEING A SLAVE. It is a con job, if a very good one – you suffer all day every day in a lifestyle you hate so you need relief from suffering, you need cheap thrills, comfort, and oblivion. See the reason folks like me go on and on about being a slave in this world is that YOUR ENTIRE FAKE SELF IS BUILT ON THAT, on this flip-floping between unhappy and happy states of self-obsessed mood – you are trapped in a cycle of bad and less bad moods, because your Fake Self keeps you there.
That is what slavery is – a MIND FUCK. Want the proof? sure – quit your job and live off the government for a while, live of your partner or family, see how what you value now rapidly turns into the depression of unemployment, of boredom, of being pointless, stuck with nothing, even with ALL THE SAME CHEAP THRILLS AND COMFORTS YOU HAD BEFORE. Suddenly, all that time off you craved has little or no value DOES IT, because you still think like a fucking slave – you are actually worse off than before, because now your life has no balance and the CON JOB OF COMFORTS DOES NOT WORK. You don’t need relief from that suffering anymore, you need relief from another one, or this one, or that one, something else that is not working, you need a new JOB, drug, relationship, cause, social circle, wardrobe. And its ALL TOTAL BOLLOCKS – all inventions of your fake self to keep you trapped as a SLAVE. But Gifted little you is not a slave, so you can escape this cycle of ‘putting on tight shoes for the pleasure of taking them off again’ like a fool, you can BE FREE in your mind of all of this crap.
So BE clear, without your Fake Self all this crap simply disappears, there is no need to FIND MORE SUFFERING SO YOU CAN GET RELIEF FROM IT AND FEEL GOOD WITH CHEAP THRILLS. You can stop BEING A SLAVE, and start to LIVE, on the other side of petty fears, petty self-interests, of boredom, and euphoria, IF YOU DEVELOP yourself, if you transform fake you into something better. This HAS TO START WITH FOCUSING ON THE CURE FOR YOUR FAKE SELF – THE NEW ARISTOCRATIC YOU, DEFINED BY THESE NEW STANDARDS IN YOUR LIFE I AM TEACHING YOU. So now, take a moment to learn the key one size fits all phrase you need to remind yourself just as you consider what is best for Real You right now, when you are about to give into ‘Losing Your Shit’ over some meaningless crap – this is the fabled Zen technique of continued self questioning:
‘WHO AM I?’ AM I SOMETHING OR AM I NOTHING? AM I ARISTOS OR A FAKE, PATHETIC FANTASIST, A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL?
When you are ready to value the standards I am teaching you MORE than your comforts, when you have learned how to Fend for yourself, then the answer will be easy… BUT DON’T BE SHY ABOUT ASKING THAT QUESTION FROM THIS DAY FORTH, as even if you fail, you will at least be aware JUST HOW MUCH YOU FAIL, AND HOW MANY OPPORTUNITIES THERE ARE TO SUCCEED. Trust me, that will help – YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO STOP BEING NOTHING AT THE START, BUT AT LEAST YOU WILL KNOW YOU ARE NOTHING…
Its important to understand this, so I will hit it again – right now your life consists of boring shit you look to comfort yourself against, so it becomes boring shit with cheap thrills, get it? IF YOU DEVELOP YOURSELF YOUR LIFE WILL NO LONGER CONSIST OF BORING SHIT, SO THERE WILL BE NO NEED FOR CHEAP THRILLS – YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BE A BIG THRILL. Understand, the only reason you currently value cheap thrill living is that you live like a slave, but without that pathetic lifestyle, when you live the gifted life cheap thrills ARE NOTHING, indeed you will wonder why you ever bother with this shit, should you progress on the Left-Hand Path – cheap thrills are NOTHING compared with REAL LIFE. So to stay stuck in your rut because YOU NEED CHEAP THRILLS IS A DUMB AS IT GETS. Do you understand – see your current life is meaningless even to you UNLESS YOU ENGAGE IN YOUR OWN FUCKED UP, TRASHY VERSION OF CATHARSIS. So you should be able to see that YOU ARE ALREADY DOING YOUR OWN UNSCHOOLED VERSION OF THE LEFT-HAND PATH, and have been for years, so why not put some time and effort into doing the real bloody thing…
Right so here is the technique itself, which is described in 3 sections as below – its a layer cake this one. Get used to these 3 separate elements before you TRY the technique that follows, you must have studied it separately before you start, as it has a VERY specific effect on ‘you’:
Overview:
Now with this one it is easy to see that there is some amount of detail involved in this practice, all of which hangs together as a chain, so even the small links, the little details are important, otherwise, the chain breaks… To enable this approach, you must create ‘a bed’ for it all to lie in, you must start from the correct place, as failure to grasp this starting point means the instructions will take you somewhere else – YOU MUST MAKE THE MOST OF WHAT YOU HAVE NOW, BEFORE YOU CAN GROW THAT LEVEL, INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS.
Section 1:
FIRST – You must understand one the most basic of all lessons about temporarily raising your level of consciousness in order to CHANGE, which you can’t do VERTICALLY at the moment, as you have no strength to climb, BUT YOU CAN DO HORIZONTALLY. Yes, you can improve the amount of FREE SPACE YOU HAVE IN YOUR HEAD AT YOUR CURRENT LEVEL.
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS AT THE START – YOU MUST USE WHAT YOU HAVE BETTER BY BOTH FREEING UP SOME SPACE AND LEARNING HOW TO PROTECT THAT SPACE BY DIRECTING IT. THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL, AND FAILING TO BOTH UNDERSTAND THIS AND GET GOOD AT IT MEANS YOU FAIL BEFORE YOU HAVE EVEN BEGUN. SEE, IF YOU CREATE MORE SPACE AND DON’T PROTECT IT FAKE YOU WILL JUST FILL IT WITH MORE SHIT AND YOU GET WORSE. FAKE YOU IS CANCER…
This is the fundamental practice you need to understand at the start of ‘Power Over Yourself’, as it effectively allows you to force a SMALL jump in level, granting you more access to WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE temporarily. It is not possible to actually give your more space in your head to ‘see’ at an animal level as that needs THE POWER YOU CURRENTLY WASTE, but you can use what you have NOW way more effectively by ’emptying it’, why the majority of all Buddhist traditions focus on this at the start.
Be CERTAIN OF THIS – YOU HAVE SO LITTLE SPACE TO DO AT THE BEGINING THAT EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS, YOU NEED TO BE CALM, CLEAR, AND CENTRED IN YOUR BODY TO GET SOME OF THIS SPACE BACK.
So – YOU MUST WITHDRAW YOUR ATTENTION FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WHEN NOT ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN DOING STUFF, FOCUS ON PHYSICAL SENSATION AND/OR WHAT YOU SEE OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYES. You must get used to managing and reducing your thinking via the USE of feeling as a form of thinking, directing your thoughts to feel INSTEAD of thinking in a conscious way. This will reduce the number of thoughts you have and when combined with the use of your peripheral vision will stop the continual flow of thought via lessening your state of identification, WHERE THE VAST MAJORITY OF YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM.
Therefore you must set a standard in your mind to STOP DAYDREAMING, and whenever you find yourself dreaming away about nothing important you go right back to feeling your body in any way that suits you. If you are moving then it is very useful to combine this with looking with the corners of your EYES and simply cataloging what you see as you see it, you name stuff as it appears. YOU NEVER FOLLOW THESE NAMES WITH THEIR ASSOCIATIONS, IE GET CAPTURED BY A LINK FROM WHAT YOU HAVE JUST NAMED AS A DAYDREAM, EG TREE = NO LEAVES = WINTER = COLD = HEATING ON =…….. Move on to the next thing you see, and name it, don’t associate with it – you must force this process to lower your state of identification with the outside world. YOU MUST MAKE THIS INTO A HABIT…
In this way you become comfortable just BEING in the moment, AND NOT THINKING, just feeling good in yourself in a centered and relaxed way, like you lying in the Hot Sun, on your holidays. You will start to notice that you have more power to both notice things and to CONTROL YOURSELF, as the reduction in thought has freed up a vast amount of power as mind ‘space’ to do this, power that would otherwise be wasted on daydreaming, and corrupted by Fake You to lead you round by the nose. The key milestone you hit when you have much of your own headspace back is that you become conscious of your movements prior to making them, which leads to the minor but useful ‘Grace of God’ state, ie you become conscious of the need to move ‘gracefully’, because that is actually important as a natural offshoot of part 1 of this series – Excellence as Character. However with practice, you will start to experience the main aspect of this, WHICH GROWS OUT OF THE GRACE OF GOD PHASE AS THE KEY BENEFIT – YOU FEEL ‘BIGGER’ THAN BEFORE, HIGHER ABOVE YOUR FAKE SELF, SO YOU CAN SEE IT BETTER.
Got that? HAVING MORE SPACE IN YOUR HEAD MAKES YOU FEEL BIGGER IN A WAY THAT RELATES TO BEING PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER. But the real trick to this is to LATCH ONTO THIS FEELING AND SEEK IT WHEN YOU REALISE YOU DON’T FEEL IT AT THIS MOMENT OR THAT ONE. Know that it is not enough to do this in a part-time way, like a twice-a-week meditation practice or mindfulness or other such crap, THIS NEW WAY IS NORMAL NOW, YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME. If you only do this sporadically then it is so weak it will make your Fake Self worse, and you will actually get worse. THIS IS THE ARISTO WAY, YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT UNTIL YOU MAKE YOUR CURRENT LEVEL OF POWER AVAILABLE TO BE USED CONSCIOUSLY BY YOU, NOT PISSED AWAY ON SHITE BY FAKE YOU AUTOMATICALLY.
So set this in your mind now, the modern motto of the Aristocrat if you like, a favorite of Gurdjieff…
More God, Less Dog.
Now to make this latching-on thing work for you is something I’ve worked on for many years as IT IS A VERY EFFECTIVE SPEED UP – THE MORE YOU FEEL BIGGER THE FASTER YOUR DEVELOPMENT GOES, OBVIOUSLY. SO IT CANNOT BE LEFT TO CHANCE FOR GIFTED HEDONISTS, AS YOU HAVE TOO MUCH OTHER SHIT GOING ON, SO HAVE A MUCH HIGHER TENDENCY TO FAIL OUT. You need this more than other spiritual folks, indeed for many of you this is the key – YOU MUST LATCH ON TO THIS FEELING AS HAVING A SENSE OF PURPOSE, IN TERMS OF LINKING THE MEANING OF ‘MORE GOD, LESS DOG’ DIRECTLY TO THIS FEELING, AND GIVING IT A NAME = PURPOSE OF FINDING REAL YOU.
Now, this is another one of the hidden meanings of this post you need to understand very clearly upfront – PURPOSE IS A CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION, IT IS A REAL THING FOR GIFTED, AND LIKE SHAME IS ONE OF THE FEW THAT IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO BE BREAKTHROUGH AT THE START. But there is a problem – see Purpose is so powerful it has been used by any and all Religions since the beginning of time and is therefore linked heavily to the vehicles they used, the love of god, to dedicate your life to god, TO OFFER ALL YOUR LOVE, SEX DRIVE, SUFFERING TO GOD etc etc as a vehicle for development. Therefore ‘purpose’ is tainted and seen as worthy, and many Left-hand paths reject its early use proactively, particularly the Asian ones, whilst also citing the dangers of purpose when not understood correctly or taken too lightly as a lifestyle, which is a huge issue in the West – low level gifted, who don’t have the courage for Hedonism tend to chase one superficial ‘Cause Celeb’ after another one, simply to experience the feeling of Purpose, of being part of something bigger, whilst never actually focusing on the spiritual POINT OF PURPOSE.
So YOU must be VERY CLEAR – TO LIVE IN THE HIGHER FEELING OF PURPOSE IS THE GREATEST SPEED UP IN ALL SPIRITUALITY, BOTH LEFT AND RIGHT-HAND PATHS AND CANNOT BE IGNORED JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME ISSUES WITH IT. Yes, as a Gifted Hedonist, you are almost defined by YOUR TOTAL LACK OF PURPOSE, you have chosen unschooled Catharsis as ‘your reason to live’, so YOU must understand YOU NEED THIS AND IT IS REAL. But you MUST have a real overarching PURPOSE TO LINK THIS FEELING TO, not some random cause or 2, as then it is no more than a ‘theatrical device’, or holding action until ‘Real You’ becomes more conscious, which will lead you astray.
So you must get now that your purpose in life is YOUR HEROES JOURNEY TO FIND REAL YOU, AND INTEGRATE IT INTO YOUR LIFE, USING THE PATH OF THE ARISTOCRAT = MORE GOD, LESS DOG. You must understand that you feel BIGGER BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS PART OF SOMETHING BIGGER, WHICH IS HOW PURPOSE ACTUALLY WORKS. And you must start to ‘live there’, all the time, as much as you can, so all the rest of these standards I’m asking you to follow ARE MUCH EASIER TO DO.
Yes, I understand that it is a ‘leap’ for you, so know that once you get used to the feeling of ‘feeling bigger’ by the practice of emptying your mind it is a simple thing to link that to your NEW sense of PURPOSE, remember it AND RETURN TO IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Be clear – that feeling of Purpose will GROW AND GROW naturally for the Gifted, and many other benefits will come from it, initially conscience-level Willpower and Confidence, the benefits of which cannot be overstated. So don’t worry if you feel a bit strange ‘having a purpose’ at the start, know that it is the SIGNATURE FEELING FOR THE HIGHER LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAT IS SELF-POSSESSION, AND IS THEREFORE PRICELESS. Get used to it once you have found it, note how you got there, and try and do it faster and faster next time, try and notice the huge differences in what you see, hear, smell, move, think once you get better and better at ‘sitting in’ it. Use it as your new ‘drug of choice’ if you wish, as many of you will need that level of powerful feeling to replace the ones you currently use…
Its important to hold this process of creating ‘space in your head’ as a ‘whole’ idea, so try this – you have a very limited amount of RAM at your current animal level, if you allow the VIRUS of Fake You to continually stuff it full of shit you don’t want then it will be impossible to change, in fact even what you normally do will be of very poor quality. See, at high levels of overthinking the machine of your mind starts to fail, both needing high levels of emotion to push any thought through the mess that is there, and start to freeze, get stuck on cycling round and round one thought, like a loading screen. This makes you VERY, VERY SLOW, so Fake You finds it very easy to distract you whilst it does something outside of your awareness because you don’t notice.
This is why you NEED SPACE – so start now and find your ‘grace’ in your quieter moments, learn how to get to that feeling easily, deepen it and build it into the feeling of BEING BIGGER. When big enough you can label this feeling accurately as PURPOSE, and use it to follow the Way of the Aristocrat, to DEVELOP yourself so you have much more RAM to play with, so normal animal/fake you wil look very small, and YOU can do progressively harder mental things, leading to the State of Self Possession, the ability to hold subject and objective in your mind at the same time – to be ‘beside yourself’.
We will talk more about this in the future, so for now just get used to PURPOSE AS A FEELING, how solid and large it is compared to the petty shit you are used to feeling as your tedious old emotions, and know that Power Over Yourself is much, MUCH easier to develop once you live in that feeling – old you will start to look VERY small, the more YOU feel MUCH BIGGER. Know that this state is not a practice you do, it is the default ‘stance’ of the Aristocrat in everyday life, the way you are, where you start from – it comes to define you. Also know that its enemy is all things ‘TENSION’, as tension ruins this stance and hence your performance of anything, therefore you can say with certainty that tension is not a result of your problems, it IS THE ACTUALLY CAUSE OF THEM – High tension means Fake You is ACTIVE and attempting to control you AGAINST YOUR GRACE. Always side with your GRACE – GOT IT?
KNOW THAT THE FEELING OF BEING BIGGER, OF GRACE, OF PURPOSE IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR ‘GAME’, YOUR STYLE, AS IT ENABLES YOU TO PERFORM CONSCIOUSLY, RATHER THAN UNCONSCIOUSLY. This is when your Deputy Steward has grown to a size that it can start to act against Fake You, first by seeing Fake You in action, and stopping it, following the protocols detailed below. Your DS needs to be ‘at the wheel’ to do this, otherwise YOU will never trigger these protocols in time, YOU WILL MISS THE CLASSIC RISING TENSION IN YOURSELF AS A TRIGGER, and everything will be ‘regret in retrospect’, which is motivational but DOES NOTHING.
To finish this part with a summary – at your level there are basically 2 ANIMAL states available to you, A STATE OF TENSION = DOG, OR A STATE OF GRACE = GOD. Tension is BAD, it is often your Fake Self fucking with you, Grace is GOOD, as it will start to be the feeling of your Real Self. Tension makes you VERY SMALL, self-obsessed, what you do is shit. Grace makes you BIGGER, self-possessed, what you do is better. Tension becomes ILLNESS, physical, mental, and spiritual decline, decadence. Grace becomes PURPOSE, Power Over Yourself, physical, mental and spiritual POWER.
Choose wisely – most unschooled Gifted live their lives in a state of constant ANIMAL TENSION, they believe it is normal, but it is only normal for animals, who need that tension to survive the day. YOU DON’T NEED IT, your tension is misplaced and used against you by Fake You. Find some space, find some GRACE, otherwise reading what follows below is just an academic exercise you will fail at fast and quit, just like you fail at everything else Fake You does not like…
Now, a last little teacher secret for you before we move on – the most important moment in working on the state above is when you are DEFENDING IT by actively rejecting ‘out of the blue’ Instinctive Urges (Fear/Violence/Sex), Daydreaming (Fantasing after the thought) or Associative, Pattern matching as thinking (jumping around mentally), JUST when you have CAUGHT YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT OF DOING IT. The automatic desire to DO any of these tells you some of the precious fuel you need to develop yourself is present IN THAT MOMENT, but is about to be wasted on pointless crap by your Fake Self stealing it from you. It is way too early to get into what Asian traditions still call Internal Alchemy (much as Issac Newton, also called it that) just know that this fuel is a combination of 3 forces (as are most things), with the most important one coming from outside you. Yep, the reason the ancient world was obsessed with Astrology (and Christianity hates it to this day) is that it is basically true, some of this Fuel is ‘Cosmic’ in Origin. Indeed you would laugh if you knew what all the characters, animals and ‘wise men’ with their GIFTS that appear in the Christian Nativity actually mean, in that otherwise pointless addition to the Gospels, but right now that would just be a distraction. The issue is you can’t feel these external ‘impressions’ yet, so YOU can just see the result of it, your random ‘urges’…
You must recognize these moments when they occur and stand firm against them BY LAUGHING AT YOUR FAKE SELF, you must stop acting out these moments, following the trail down to the trap your Fake Self has set for you. Instead, you generate amusement ‘naturally’ by seeing the other side of these urges at the same moment of the urge itself, so ‘relaxing’ the tension of that urge, so it dissolves, and later on will actually feel like it is ‘crystallizing’. Obviously, you need a lot of Space in your head for this, so it won’t happen much at the start, but is quite an easy habit to develop when you know the theory behind it – you must learn to spot the tension signature when it happens ASAP after it starts. For example, you are holding yourself in a passive Feeling as a physical sensation and then you suddenly become aware you are tense mentally and want to think about some ‘Fear of future event’ but immediately realize its a meaningless distraction and laugh – you feel both the ‘tension’ of the fear and then the ‘grace’ of the space in your head at the time. The laughter acts as the Catharsis trigger to capture that power for yourself, much as these minor Catharsis moments will do very little individually, there are so many of them for most Gifted types they add up FAST. Just don’t waste them… many HIGHLY gifted women particularly are destroyed by continual overthinking, fantasizing and particularly giving in to instinctive urges linked to servicing addictions in the moment, as that opens the front door to your Fake Self, invites them in, and offers them a drink…
Before you read the rest of this PLEASE REMIND YOURSELF – NONE OF THIS IS WORTHY OR GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF BEING GOOD. You are doing this to be better, faster, smarter, stronger, and NOT TO GO TO HEAVEN WHEN YOU DIE. Heaven is where you live after your Fake Self dies, that is the point of that analogy, that is what being ‘Born Again’ means, much as you are still the same person just without all the B/S you did not realize you were doing anyway. All Spirituality is really about POWER, and is why animals chase power over others for a taste of the same feeling in a totally delusional and fake way. You chase Power Over Yourself as it actually includes power over everything else in your life too… That is the point of this, so start to feel, conserve and build your own POWER now, and you will start to feel that power, instead of you competitive weakness, you mediocrity. Don’t get this confused with Fake MORALITY either, this is about Honor, Loyalty, Willpower, Confidence, Purpose and many more besides, this is what makes you an Aristocrat, NOT BEING FAKE GOOD SO PEOPLE LIKE YOU. At the start the less people who like you the better, at least until you find some people whose opinion of you actually matters, and does not lower your level, but raises it, as that is the point of ALL RELATIONSHIPS. You lie down with dogs you get up with fleas AND THAT SHIT WILL DRIVE YOU MAD IN THE END.
Next, to recap moments of conscience, the easy and hard grades of moments you need to notice and stop.
Moment 1: Moments of Confliction
Now Confliction happens physically and mentally ALL THE TIME IN THE GIFTED, particularly with a strong Fake Self, so you must make the most of these moments by practicing on this first kind as much as possible. There is no emotion at the beginning of these moments, the emotion happens at the end, when they are ‘over’, and that is how you use them, via this emotion. The easiest to spot are the Physical moments where you drop things, knock things, spill things, get frustrated with something that does not work, with an obvious mistake you just made, with something you have lost, with something you can’t figure out, something you know is there but can’t quite see. These are obviously Fake You acting against your better interest, and Real You is aware of this and so present via your frustration at a background level, depending on what you have done to yourself already. The second type are mental moments, where you want to do something you know is a stupid idea from experience, your urges decide they want ‘this action’ or ‘not this action’ but You know that is bloody stupid and don’t want to do that, even if it is just fear of being found out. Both of these moments are priceless in terms of learning to Ride yourself as they give you lots of low-level material to practice on, but have way less value in themselves. They work because they are OBVIOUS, you have time to consider them DURING the moment itself because you are not totally possessed by Fake You in that moment, much as they are controlling some aspect of you.
Moment 2: Moments of Possession
Now, moments of Possession are when Fake You conceals what it is doing from you in the moment, long enough to get you to do it, and that requires way more power at that moment than moment 1. These are far more useful but far less common and far harder to STOP, simply because You are not present when Fake You does them. Again there are x2 types, ones where you lose you shit, get annoyed by an external happening that Fake You has set up way in advance via someone else and then lose YOUR TEMPER, saying and doing self-destructive and pointless shit, YOU EXPRESS NEGATIVE EMOTION, because you are RIGHT. The second type is when the same thing happens that effects you emotionally but you don’t lose your temper for any number of reasons, usually because it is a different type of emotion, sorrow, embarrassment, fear etc etc. In both cases Real You is present and watching as a reaction to what Fake You is doing to you, so can be accessed quite quickly to LIFT YOU OUT OF THESE STATES of high emotion, otherwise it is impossible to stop them once they have started to ACT OUT. The trick is to feel it coming BEFORE the emotion possesses you and you are lost, which you need Real You to do for you just as you feel the Tension signature come over you, often even before the ext trigger event occurs, so you can snap into defensive mode, and NOT REACT TO ANYTHING that happens next. Once you are possessed by the emotion and hence Fake You that power has gone, forever, so you must change the way to REACT.
Yes, you are right, BOTH OF THESE MOMENTS NEED YOU TO ‘TRY’ and ‘REACT’ DIFFERENTLY to what you are used to, as what you are used to doing is Fake You. So REACTING is the puppy here, you need to react differently as a point of principle, overriding your current JUSTIFICATIONS AND NEED TO BE RIGHT. A ‘point of principle’ means for the greater good of Real You, rather than the short term bollocks of Fake You, of Internally Justifying the needs of the moment against the External Justification of the overall goal WE are telling you do. ANIMALS CAN’T DO THIS, but you are not an animal are you, you are not some pathetic little moron so sure that you KNOW THE TRUTH, so sure that all you have in this world is your Opinion and your Balls, so you have to fight everything that disgrees with that, even this system – SO STOP READING THIS STUFF NOW, ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE AND FUCK OFF. If you are so weak and pathetic there is not much we can do, you want more from life to add to the shit you already do, you head is RAMMED full of opinions and low quality b/s you are not even aware of, you are child trying to shout louder in the playground, cause no one liked you at school…
Or, why not understand that you are better than that, and you need to start Externally Considering what is best both for you and the folks around you in the longer term, so you can GROW, and stop being a fucking moron – nobody fucking cares if you are right dickhead, you know nothing of this world, you are a COW IN A FIELD, desperate for some sort of Power Over Others, which your Fake Self happily deludes you with, whilst everyone else just turns their head and laughs. And I mean we laugh at you, as we laugh at at our own Fake Selves too, we catch ourselves in the moment of tension because we have worked on the space you need to do that, and we go, ‘hangon their sausage’, this ’emotional reaction’ looks like a bad idea overall, I’m not a CHILD, no matter how I feel right now, no matter how right I am, it serves no purposes other than my self-destruction to become possessed by my Fake Self and ACT OUT like a PUSSY, some kind of tedious bitch who is so weak they have to use conversation to make themselves feel better. Yep, all that innuendo, all that clever ‘I was right all along’ just screams gutless bitch to us – Try and remember that in the moment eh, if nothing else you won’t be so fucking boring and folks may even like you, a little bit.
DEVELOP THE SPACE IN YOUR HEAD SO YOU CAN SEE THE TENSION SIGNATURE OF FAKE YOU BEFORE IT TAKES YOU OVER WITH EMOTION.
Now, another little teacher secret – TRYING, why Trying is EVERYTHING AT THE START, why I have mentioned it in EVERY SINGLE POST I HAVE WRITTEN in order to keep this ‘front of mind’, but now its time to tell you why, to explain it in light of the other detail in this post, as there is a chance you will get it now…
TRYING MATTERS MORE THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT, as Trying, the mental effort you put into doing something ON yourself particuarly, like maintaining Perhphal Awareness or holding a Feeling as a Thought, IS CRUCIAL BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU ONLY HAVE A TINY AMOUNT OF ENERGY AVAILABLE TO DO THAT, BOTH THE FOCUS ON THE TASK AND TO FIGHT OFF THESE OTHER THOUGHTS. See Trying to Direct Your Attention requires a very special supernatural energy that you have been losing since you were kid, pissing it away by NOT trying, so the container of that energy has actually shrunk, got way, WAY smaller, and you literally can’t do it now. You should have much more of that energy to do all things Directed Attention, but you don’t because your weakness driven by society’s entitlement has fucked you, up to the point that many of you reading this now don’t really Try at all, you just show up and expect it to be easy, and I mean everything. But your energy systems were developed in the fucking stone age, when folks ‘Tried or they Died’, they ate or they starved, they escaped or they were caught, they killed or were killed, they made a weapon or they died at the point of someone else’s. You have NEVER DONE THAT, HAVE YOU, you think being competitive is to do with sport, you would not know Natural Selection if it bit you on the face, come the Zombie Apocalypse you’ll be the first to be eaten (Sorry…)
So the VERY SPECIAL energy of Attention is no longer used effectively, the amount of that energy you have available is VERY small, both its production and storage, SO YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS VERY QUICKLY. The way you do this is to direct that energy onto yourself with FORCE, over and over again, going right back to it every time you fail and drift off, just to build that energy enough to DO IT AT ALL. This continual FRUSTRATING FAILURE IS ESSENTIAL TO GET YOU TO THE START, as that draws more energy and hence stores more energy of Attention, which is absolutely crucial. THIS IS NOT A HABIT YOU CAN’T BUILD BECAUSE OF YOUR FRUSTRATION, ITS A HABIT YOU CAN’T DO BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY. You must force yourself passed your current limitations as that is the only way you will ever get passed this BLOCK, this forcing process summons more energy than you are used to because for the first time in your comfortable little life YOU ACTUALLY NEED IT, but it’s not there. So you must COMMIT to this TRYING process as a point of principle, because at the start all you can do is a Try and Fail, BECAUSE YOU MUST DO THIS X NUMBER OF TIMES before you have the ENERGY TO SUCCEED. Think of it as paying enough of your ‘dues’ before you can get anything back if you like, BUT BE CLEAR, YOU HAVE TO PAY UP FRONT, SO GET TO ‘LIKE’ YOUR FRUSTRATION WITH FAILING, AS IT SHOWING US YOU ARE TRYING.
BUT EVEN MORE THAN THIS, WHEN YOU USE YOUR ATTENTION ON YOURSELF, WHEN YOU VALORISE YOURSELF THIS WAY, YOU GET THE ENERGY YOU HAVE DRAWN FROM THE STORE BACK, 100% – YOU RE-ABSORB THIS ENERGY OVER THE NEXT FEW HOURS WHICH IMMEDIATELY EXPANDS THE STORAGE CAPACITY OF IT WHILE FILLING THAT CAPACITY. You need to do this over and over again to get back to the level YOU HAD AS A CHILD SO YOU CAN DO THIS STUFF, OK. Trying is essential because TRYING BUILDS ENERGY TO DO, rather than to pretend to do, and failing out, like 90% of all who Try while not knowing this BECAUSE THEY DON’T TRY FOR LONG ENOUGH BEFORE THEY QUIT. SO KNOW THIS, LOOK FORWARD TO FAILING AS A POINT OF PRINCIPLE, AS IT DOES NOT MATTER YET, YOU CAN’T DO IT YET AS YOU DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY, TRYING HARD WHILE FAILING IS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL EVER DO IT, EVER BUILD ENOUGH ENERGY TO DO – TRYING = ENERGY = ATTENTION, YOU DESPERATELY NEED ENERGY TO DO ANYTHING SUPERNATURAL EASILY,
GOT THAT? YOU NEED TO OBSESS ABOUT TRYING ALL THE TIME, TWICE A WEEK JUST MAKES YOU MEDIOCRE FOREVER…
Lastly on Trying, you should take a clever shortcut that the smart 4th ways systems have been quietly telling you do for a few thousand years now – ‘Manage Your Sources of Thought’ proactively, and so dramatically reduce the enemy’s attacks on you. So to repeat from previous posts, you have 4x sources of thought – mind, emotions, instincts (senses), movements. Long story short for today – if when you are doing these practices or dealing with a moment of conscience you ‘Stop Stock Still’, ‘Look at the Corner of Your Eyes’ and listen to the background hum of your ears, and repeat STOP to yourself while feeling the weight of your body in whatever way is easiest for you will CREATE a huge amount of space in your head in just a few seconds, and go along way to pushing back against the tension of Fake You turning into NEGATIVE EMOTION you want to express particularly, MORE SO when it is based on A FAKE FEAR. YOU MUST GET USED TO THE CONCEPT OF NEVER EXPRESSING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS UNLESS YOU ARE IN PHYSICAL DANGER OR NEED TO USE HUGE PHYSICAL ENERGY TO DO SOMETHING. You must see them coming and smoother them. WHEN YOU GET GOOD AT THIS STUFF ALL THESE THINGS WILL START TO COME NATURALLY, and you can forget them, and focus your efforts elsewhere.
Second Teacher secret for today, just a very quick one – LAUGHTER, the power of GOOD LAUGHTER to cleanse you and drive Catharsis. See I’ve noticed over the years that many people laugh as their Fake Selves, they laugh in a cunning, nasty, unpleasant way, it’s mean, meant to make them feel better BY FEELING CLEVER. I don’t mean ‘clever laughter’ as a Catharsis Trigger, I mean laughter at yourself as ‘Malice with Good Conscience’, you are depreciating yourself in a ‘kind way’, like a Child. See Real You is still a child, as all your development and change has gone into Fake You, so Real You will feel very childish at the start when they are present, they express amusement in a ‘delighted’ way, not a cunning way. Real You often feels very much like an innocent child when they first appear to you as separate to your Fake Self, indeed for the more highly Gifted they are the Childlike side of your ‘nature’ you may already express in your quiet moments, particularly with your pets, your sense of fun, desire to play simple ‘hide and seek’ level games. This is the laughter you use for Catharsis, this is what you need, so don’t be too clever with it, just laugh as you did as a child, as you do with your pet, with other children, and everything will go much quicker…
So, the techniques in themselves, so know first that this technique is a transition toward Self Possession, and therefore we need a transitional mode for you to BE = Deputy Steward (DS), a transitory and temporary vehicle ‘you’ can BE when the moment allows. This grows into the Steward which is more permanent but only after you have broken the grip of your Fake Self to a very high degree. Your DS can’t really do anything itself but decide between the demands of the others OR choose these protocols, to follow the standards of the Aristocrat I’m teaching you – so YOU NEED REAL YOU TO BE PRESENT TO GIVE YOU BETTER CHOICES, otherwise it is still all Fake You and Animal You patterns, they are all you have.
Understand this – the main value at the start of having a DS in charge is IF REAL YOU IS ACTIVE to some degree, so you must trigger this state as a reaction when you sense the moments of conscience, the signature of Real You. Later on you can TRY the zen technique of CALLING REAL YOU, by asking yourself ‘who you are’, but that needs the skill you develop via using the easy moments.
- You Must Separate Your Conscious Self (your awareness) from your Fake Self when Triggered By Real You in Moments of Conscience. You CANNOT CALL DS DIRECTLY AT THE START, so a temporary level of awareness called the Observing Eye is used, and grows into Deputy Steward when it has become stable, but it will not be permanent, it will come and go as your level of consciousness fluctuates many times a day. All the Observing Eye can do is FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE SYSTEM, and it has no ideas of its own – this new part of you is the part that wants to Develop and Change by definition, so that is all it has. This start is to enable you to dis-identify as much as possible with your Fake Self and Animal Self, while looking for the feeling of Real You, how it communicates with you, as your conscience, incredibly subtle at the start.
- In order to make this shift in yourself at the correct moment you must Identify the Observing Eye as ‘I’, and everything else as ‘(First name)’ in the 3rd Person, as NOT YOU. That everything else is Fake You controlling Animal You, and makes up you as you sit reading this. This is what we need to control, specifically YOU need to give orders to your Animal Self WHILE STOPPING your Fake Self giving its orders ‘through’ you. In this way you briefly take the reins of your Horse and decide without taking Fake Yous advice for once. At the start you will need the Power of Real You to do this, otherwise Fake You will just tell you to fuck off
- For this process to work you must form a strong characterization of your current self (First name), your current Ego as SHIT, a self-destructive failure, normally based on a couple of real-life shames it has caused you, things you were later ASHAMED OF – decide on these in advance and burn them into your mind, as you will need no sympathy for (First Name). There can be nothing positive in this at the start as you NEED TO REJECT THEIR ADVICE IN THE MOMENT, and move on very quickly. Every second you delay deciding and giving the order to your Animal makes you vulnerable, which takes clarity and force. However you will give strong but kind direction to animal you in the way you speak – they are not the enemy, they are your PET, treat them like a kind but firm owner.
SO AT THE START YOU MUST FOLLOW THE SIMPLE PROTOCOL BELOW:
For both types of ‘moments of conscience’ you must notice your confliction or rising emotion as a TRIGGER that ACTIVATES YOUR DS, becoming HIGHLY self-conscious to catch yourself entering these moments before they start. You then CHANGE your normal reaction by doing NOTHING WHILE FINDING IT FUNNY BECAUSE YOU ARE DELIGHTED YOU HAVE STOPPED IT.
Obviously, it will help a lot to PREPARE IN ADVANCE by profiling the scenarios and types of activities that generate the most moments of conscience by remembering everything that SHAMES you. In this way you can bring your DS up in these situations by BECOMING HIGHLY SELF-CONSCIOUS whenever you enter them – it won’t stop the attacks by Fake You but you will quicker to spot them, and STOP YOURSELF. It may also help to practice stopping annoying ‘twitch’ like habits you have, fidgeting particualry but talking to much for no reason is also a great one to try, talking fucks your life quicker than most things. Many folks also use repression of sensation or tension of bodily processes, but I usually don’t advise this, much as it works it can lead to other issues.
Yes, it is easier said than done, AND YOU WILL FAIL MANY TIMES BEFORE YOU SUCCEED by being too late to stop it, BEFORE YOU SEE FAKE YOU BECOMING ACTIVE VIA ITS TENSION SIGNATURE. But the MAIN ISSUE IS THIS – YOU MUST VALUE FOLLOWING THIS PROTOCOL MORE THAN YOUR DESIRE TO ACT OUT YOUR REACTION, AS A POINT OF PRINCIPLE. So you must treat it as a GAME, YOUR ‘GAME’ – your game must OVERRIDE your automatic reactions. The key to this is to remember the end result, the shame of it, before you start, as this replaces your fake ‘excitement’ of your reacton, with practice.
So to help you, know the MAGIC TRICK is this – YOU must tell yourself, your ANIMAL YOU TO STOP AS SOON AS YOU SEE THE TRIGGER, using your Christian name first and then sub vocalising the command, turning you head slightly to the left and ‘hearing’ the sound of the command in your left ear. Be clear – you are not talking to Fake You, you can only repress Fake You not command it, so make your commands easy and direct like you would talk to a clever horse. If you struggle with getting the message through (you don’t react quickly) take a second and do a BIG, long ‘yawn’, then try again. Do not ask questions or engage in dialogue, that requires a different method, this is for commands only.
Later when Real You is more present, and you are more confident that it is REAL YOU, then you can start to DO things differently in the moment, rather than just STOP. For now just look for any options that appear that seem ‘innocent’, ‘childlike’, ‘delighted’ as that is the method Real You will use to talk to you. Real You communicates with higher emotions, which you will interpret as childish, as you have never developed Real You since childhood, so know that they are really not childish, they are deadly serious.
Read the above many times and form up on the side of Real You, in the person of his Agent, the Observing Eye, your DS, directly against Fake You, who is the Enemy because they SHAMED you in some horrible, actual ways you call to mind. Do not listen to ANY EGO DEFENSE FROM FAKE YOU AS A POINT OF PRICINIPLE, it is a con, it does not even matter if that defence might be true, you need this process to work so disregard it anyway – ANY JUSTIFICATION AGAINST YOUR OPINION ON FAKE YOU IS JUST FAKE YOU FIGHTING BACK, SO BE VERY CLEAR ABOUT THIS AND LAUGH AT IT AS YOU SMACK IT DOWN.
Wash Up –
Don’t fall into the trap of ‘regretting what you did not stop’ as a form of practice, pissing yourself is still pissing yourself, even if you realise you have just pissed yourself, again, so you don’t piss yourself ‘less’ because of that. Frankly, it just shows Fake You how fucking pathetic you are which will weaken your DS – you are only allowed to laugh at yourself when you stop Fake You, when you stop the emotional response, when Fake You ‘wins’ you get QUIETLY, INTERNALLY MAD at just how shit you are.
Want to know when you are getting somewhere with all this? Easy – you feel better following these rules than giving in to yourself. See when you feel better about this stuff IN THE MOMENT OF DOING IT, it means you are siding with REAL YOU, not Fake You, that is when you will even start to feel shit, sickened when you do what Fake You wants, as you always did. It means your conscience has started to grow into your everyday feelings and you are starting to notice her, little by little, you are starting to feel the objective value of things as they happen. This will start to color everything over time, everything will start to be right for you or be wrong for you. Just take your time at the start – your Fake Self won’t just give up and run, it will FIGHT, and that’s a good thing – that’s how you know you are winning…
PLEASE don’t underestimate these last issues with your Fake Self, as your ability to see and accept the core of your Fake Self as ‘what you do’ IS ONE OF THE FIRST REAL TESTS AFTER YOU START. See the reason I go on and on about your faults and how your Society forces you to pretend to be GOOD, is that an early understanding of these issues HELPS MASSIVELY WHEN YOU HAVE TO FACE YOUR FAKE SELF. Like most unschooled GIFTED YOU ARE NOT GOOD, ARE YOU – so you repress all these elements of yourself BY JUSTIFYING THEM WITH SOME FORM OF ‘BUT I’M RIGHT’ OR ‘THEY DESERVE IT’ AT THE TIME BEFORE FORGETTING THEM. Therefore the vast majority of your Fake Self is based on what you have repressed, and you live large parts of your life believing YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOOD when you are not – YOU LIE TO YOURSELF AND ALLOW YOUR FAKE SELF TO DECEIVE YOU, YOU ACTUALLY WELCOME IT SO YOU CAN GO ON WITH THE COMFORTABLE DELUSION. When you finally have to accept that large parts of you are deeply unpleasant it helps to know THAT WE DON’T CARE, we understand, and we urge you to KEEP ALL OF THIS SECRET WHILE YOU MAKE THE CHANGE.
Yep, you must accept now, on this path IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO IMPROVE YOU LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS WHILE YOU LIE TO YOURSELF AND REFUSE TO FACE YOUR POWERFUL FAKE SELF AND CONTROL IT. However, know that once you do face it, EVERYTHING SPEEDS UP, as the number one way you sabotage your development, let alone your whole life is by ALLOWING YOUR FAKE SELF TO ACT FOR YOU, however unconsciously. So do yourself a favor, right here and right now – STOP JUSTIFYING EVERYTHING SELF-DESTRUCTIVE THING YOU DO AND KNOW THAT PROCESS OF JUSTIFICATION IS A SIMPLE CON TO GET YOU TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO SEE IT. Fake You is a conman baby, everything it gets you to DO has an ulterior motive, so work hard to try and see this as it will help deal with your SHAME later to UNDERSTAND NONE OF THAT SHIT WAS THE REAL YOU, you have been played as a fool for years…
Do you understand this? To be clear – I’m NOT trying to teach you ‘spirituality for gangsters’ (most committed criminals are little more than sociopathic cretins who live an animal existence) but it is VERY useful to know at the start that the Left-hand path does have a particular fondness for Good ‘Bad’ people, folks who have lived a bit, as often they are the only ones who can do it – they already have enough of the mental patterns you need to progress, otherwise it’s a lifetimes study to get anywhere. See the happy Bad folks of this world tend to accept the majority of their Fake Selves, so they ‘see it’, because it is cool, practical, and glamourous, they are ‘dangerous’, they are ‘fun at a party’ so the remaining repressed elements tend to be much easier to find, JUST DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THOSE LAST FEW BITS – they are your Achillies Heel AND WILL STOP YOU DEAD IF YOU DON’T FIND THEM.
SO THE LAST BIG HITS, the first one about your Fake Self WE NEED TO REVISIT FROM THE INTRODUCTION – IT HAS A KEY FEATURE, A ROOT CAUSE – FIND IT.
SO AGAIN – YOUR FAKE SELF TENDS TO TURN AROUND ONE CHARACTERISTIC OR ONE TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR – YOUR ACTIVE FAKE SELF HAS A KEY DEFINING FEATURE BASED ON COMPENSATING FOR A EARLY REPRESSION OF A WEAKNESS/FAILURE. This causes x2 types of compensatory behavior, your Clever+Bitch, which is used to feed on you and reinforce the repression and hence the behavior – it is a NEGATIVE FEEDBACK LOOP. Over and above these practices, as above you must start to look for this, then find it and take it out, AS IT WILL DISABLE YOUR FAKE SELF, GIVE YOU A MASSIVE ENERGY BOOST AND RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. You must ‘eat the bitch’, to ‘stop it eating you’. See I know you can do this, just a bit later than now, but it is good to know now as many people weaken in the face of having to fight their Fake Selves ‘forever’. SO THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU CAN WIN THIS FIGHT, it is only eternal if you cling onto your Light side justifications for doing the Dark Side of it.
For the low to medium Gifted levels this REPRESSION tends to be something you have done to yourself or happened to you in childhood and can be ‘seen’ in you by any number of things, but always has a central cause that acts as a BELIEF SYSTEM based on that repression unconsciously. The repression is often much harder to find than the belief system itself, which you can see via observation – much as they are linked they are NOT the same. In this day and age the most common ones are the obvious ones from your parents or society, Your Fake Belief system = Core of your Fake Self = ‘Timid/Fear of Life’ (gifted pussies are the most common), ‘Apathy/Lazy Mind as I/nothing matters’ (feckless is the hardest to fix), ‘Paranoid/Self Rightousness’ (they ALWAYS refuse to see it so longest to fix) or ‘I’m Unlucky/Self Pity’ (deep self-hatred is the most deadly). Always defaulting to fear mode and having no personal pride are the x2 I see the most in folks, but honestly some do have weird ones, like they have a superpower as a child or an imaginary friend, or they have some natural talent or skill they clearly don’t possess, or even that they very ugly/pretty for no visible reason, and often is what their parents have done to them, when they have low or no Gift.
Now, this key feature ALWAYS has a repressed cause so you are not aware of it since childhood, and therefore it has become dominant – A core belief system and the rock your Fake Self is built on and USES TO CON YOU INTO DOING STUFF IT WANTS. Your Fake Self is NOT your key feature, your Fake I is way bigger and more complex, BUT IT IS ROOTED IN THIS FEATURE AND RELIES ON IT TO EXIST. It is good to understand the process of repression in yourself as it will help you find it – repression means you no longer feel the feeling associated with this issue AS IT OCCURS, but it will trigger any one of a number of concealing behaviors, thoughts or speech patterns to assist with concealing it – for it literally to hide ‘behind’. These are the symptoms of the repression, they ARE NOT THE REPRESSION, so you must be clear that these are usually compensatory in nature, eg you become aggressive when you get scared, so you never feel scared or you talk more when you feel nervous/shy, so you don’t feel shy, and think you are fun, chatty and sociable as your justification for this behavior. Obviously, the good news is that you CAN SEE THESE, so the best way to think of them is that they are the tail of the ‘dog’ that is your repression, which you often see as it runs away, as you ACT OUT THESE BEHAVIOURS AUTOMATICALLY – you never see its head, you never feel its bite. You must try and track these back to the source, the cause, and at a low level of Gift it is usually quite easy, particularly when you start to realise that this repression is often the start of many self-destructive behaviors – your fake self hijacks your repressions via the compensatory symptoms you have for its own ends. What a bastard eh?
However, for the Highly Gifted, your Fake Self can be VERY strong via abusing your Essence, and seeking to stop it realising itself, as Fake You is terrified of your Essence. Then usually your Key Feature turns around THE OPPOSITE MAIN TRAIT OF YOUR REAL SELF, and is therefore hard to predict in folks, until you can see their Essence up close – IT IS AN ESSENCE LEVEL SHADOW. For example, my Fake Self turns around being a Vicious Bastard as its key symptom, a Nasty kind of guy because of the specific repression (which is to do with my Gift so I am not going to tell you), but my Essence’s main feature is the opposite of that repression. While it is unconscious it will be MUCH MORE difficult to spot than normal, however, you can usually see the edges of it in your opinions of other people in relation to yourself or have a good teacher tell you, much as you won’t believe it at first. For instance, an old teacher once explained to me that all the aspects of BEING a Nasty kinda guy I liked or thought were acceptable I tended to defend in others or work at showing others I possessed them, ie Self Reliance, Bravery, Confidence, Mental Strength, etc, while I judged and concealed that I disliked other people, judged everyone negatively/mocked them, and had no interest in other folks opinions/lives/problems. These concealed ones are the key symptoms of the repression, and as with all Gifted ones are based on SOME TYPE OF EGO DEFENSE, OF BEING and FEELING ‘CLEVER’ IN YOURSELF, while the Confidence and Strength et al are actually later, positive JUSTIFICATIONS for these symptoms – you bolt those on to the existing concealed acts you do to hide your repression, mask your Dark Side, to make them disappear – what religious folks call ‘evil’ in people.
Yep, it gets a bit complicated but have a go anyway, as you don’t have a teacher to tell you, do you – track your conscious, positive justifications (Light Side) back to your concealed Ego defense symptoms (Dark Side), and then try and figure out the actual repression or belief system, the belief itself based on your childhood SHOCK. Never go straight from Justifications to guessing your repression, eg justifying your behavior with is generic, so you know you like being ‘fun at a party’ and jumping to having a very low self-image as a child as your repression, even being a victim in some way – all possible but almost never true, there are several other ones, and some of them get a bit dark. Always go via the automatic concealed behavior once you see it in yourself via tracking back your justifications to it (what negative shit are you trying to spin?) and ask WHY? If you are lucky you will also have a fantasy or dream you would like to do or be one day but NEVER happens, which can be a modern version of the same Key Feature in your Essence in the POSITIVE SENSE, as that is the only way left for Real You to show YOU what the fuck you are missing.
There is one big hint with this that often helps many gifted folks get it very quickly – if you have a repetitive, negative scenario in your life that follows you around WHATEVER YOU DO, WHEREVER YOU GO, then your Fake Self has become strong enough to re-enforce that repression, BY MAKING IT HAPPEN T YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN, via manipulating your behavior, putting you in harm’s way, getting you to do it more and more automatically. So look at the same shit different day stuff that happens to you ALL THE TIME and know Fake You is causing that. Indeed Fake You may actually create multiple scenarios via your parasites to keep you trapped at such a level that there appears to be no hope. But don’t fall for it, Fake You is really quite a fragile bitch that relys on YOU convincing Yourself that its BAD, it virtually never is – ITS A CONJOB, CHALLENGE IT AND THEN WATCH IT EVAPORATE. It will come back of course, but if you are clever enough to work out what repression Fake You is trying to reinforce then it has been a good day at the development office, as that is the FIRST MAJOR MILESTONE ON THIS PATH.
Whatever yours IS, don’t be afraid of it just cause you think its BAD, know that Real You is really not like that, its Fake You you are acting out here, AND ONCE YOU KNOW ITS CORE CHARACTERISTIC YOU CAN SWITCH IT OFF AND ON WHENEVER YOU WISH… Yep having a Fake You to deal with all the life shit you have no interest in can STILL be very useful for the Gifted, as long as you realize it is an AUTOPILOT MODE, it is not you anymore, so you can change the bits you don’t want and BE something else to protect yourself better when YOU are not looking, much as I never bothered with mine – it is very useful to keep normal folks at arm’s length or until the Gifted pass a test or two, and therefore I can treat them normally as THEY ARE NOW WORTH IT. You should have figured out by now that NORMAL for ALL teachers is the CHARACTER OF THE ARISTOCRAT, in all its forms – based on RESPECT FOR QUALITY above all things and avoidance of everything inferior in your life, as shit rubs off and tends to stick otherwise. Never forget this, underneath all the low-quality shit of you there beats the HEART OF AN ARISTOCRAT, because that is who you are naturally, indeed once you break your Fake Self you will find that you know how to be Aristos with little or no help at all, AS IT IS FORCED ON YOU, usually as an instinctive form of what folks like me refer to as ‘TASTE’.
Now, I don’t teach by giving endless examples of the Key Feature types, as it would be endless, HOWEVER, in this modern world, I do like to cover one of the worst ones, just so you KNOW – I have referenced it in many other posts. When your Fake Self has become very strong and you start to Want what you DON’T WANT, then there is a particularly creepy and insidious Dark Side behavior that often occurs and is masked by the nasty, self-destructive Quid Pro Quo lifestyle – trading favors of any and all kinds. If you have any experience of the criminal ‘underworld’ you would know that this is how it HAS ALWAYS WORKED, but much of modern life now works like this AS WELL, even the average PC office environment is riven with it and it’s DEADLY FOR GIFTED FOLKS. But more than that, this example is a VERY good way to get the whole concept over to you in a very real way – the extreme illustrations are often the best teaching models of what is basically going on with every level of this, its just so subtle in you right now you can’t see it, but you can sure as hell see it in the extreme versions…
So, if you often find yourself ‘having’ to do favors you don’t want to do BUT IMMEDIATELY accept them as your Light Sided ‘ necessity’, or to ‘get by’, even a ‘short cut’, to ‘help you out’ of a problem, TO get something you want more than you THINK the favor costs you, THEN YOU MUST REALISE THAT THIS IS NOT YOU – YOUR FAKE SELF IS USING YOUR KEY FEATURE TO DESTROY YOU. YOU DON’T ACTUALLY NEED THESE FAVOURS, YOUR FAKE SELF NEEDS THE PROCESS OF PAYMENT – THE FAVOUR IS AN ILLUSION, AND OFTEN DOES NOT EVEN EXIST. Indeed often you will see that your life has become about everything NOW ‘being a favor’ you have to pay MORE, OFTEN MUCH, MUCH MORE FOR, THAN YOU NEED TO, even for simple shit, you can do nothing much by your own WILL anymore, so you are even weaker and dumber than you were before, NOT STRONGER AS FAKE YOU WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE – it ‘cripples’ you.
So this is a modern classic parasitic behavior pattern as a Key Feature, and is easily the deadliest of the everyday ones – it will attract Legions of Parasites to make you believe this is what you want, EVEN if you are conscious you don’t actually want it at the time. SO LOOK FOR YOUR DARKSIDE PATTERNS IN THE REASONS YOU ACTUALLY NEED THAT FAVOUR, AS THE CAUSE FOR THE ANXIETY OR THIS NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS TOWARD YOU – LOOK FOR WHAT IS ACTUALLY PUTTING YOU IN ‘HARMS WAY’ NOT WHY YOU THINK YOU DO IT, AS THAT IS TOTALLY FAKE BOLLOCKS. You need to find what you do all the time that causes this, the reasons ‘you DRIVE’ this shit, NOT the reasons you use to JUSTIFY IT, so you can get rid of it, as it destroys too many Gifted types in this world – don’t underestimate just how much long term suffering this causes, physical, mental and emotional health issues often of the most serious kind.
However, at a certain point, usually after a bad experience of the process element Fake You is driving, you vow to stop and NOT DO THIS ANYMORE – it is not worth it to you now. BUT YOU CAN’T STOP, YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO DO IT, EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T WANT TO, AT THAT MOMENT. See Fake You has got very, VERY strong now and does not care WHAT YOU THINK ANYMORE – to a degree this is what has always been happening, YOU NEVER REALLY HAD A CHOICE, BUT YOU HID THAT FROM YOURSELF WITH YOUR ‘JUSTIFICATIONS’. Now your justifications have GONE, you see this very clearly, BUT FAKE YOU WILL COMPEL YOU IN THE MOMENT ANYWAY, CONTINUE TO USE YOUR DARK SIDE BEHAVIOUR, YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF, TO SET ALL OF THIS UP, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION IT WILL USE THESE SAME BEHAVIOURS TO DISTRACT AND THEN OVERPOWER YOU, so you ‘have to do it’, you can’t get out of it now for any number of TOTALLY FAKE REASONS. But now you KNOW IT IS A CON, because I have told you – SO YOU CAN STOP.
Obviously, this is THE Golden opportunity for you to change, as it is the ultimate ‘Moment Of Confliction’ – to see both sides of yourself VERY CLEARLY. It will HURT, but once armed with this knowledge, you should now be able to stop by simply investigating what is causing the ‘setup’ of these scenarios and then NOT SHOWING UP, ever again – use avoidance at the start with a strong Fake You, remove yourself and send bland apologies from afar, don’t bate it until you get used to this first. Then you will find the setups stop happening, and you can slowly become conscious and weed out all those Dark Side behaviors that are being used to control you. HOWEVER, IF YOU GO ON WITH THIS YOU BECOME A VICTIM, YOU ACCEPT BEING A VICTIM, AND PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE ACTUALLY SEE YOU AS A VICTIM AND USE YOU AS A VICTIM, BUT THEY TELL EVERYONE ELSE YOU ARE A ‘LOST SOUL’. BUT NO ONE CAN HELP YOU, SO IT IS ‘NOT MY FAULT’, they tell themselves – they just clap along with other freaks, hell you seem to enjoy it… YOU ARE EXTREME NOW. Until you start to ‘fray at the edges’ of course, go a bit psycho, and then they will run, because they won’t want to be near you when you go ‘bang’ – the fallout is often life-changing.
Now, if this is any version of ‘you’, if you have gone this far already, then don’t underestimate just how fucking useful actually GOING PSYCHO can be as a form of reinvention – most folks will already believe you are deeply unstable, so won’t take much convincing. See for these extreme types it may be the only way out, and is a VERY CATHARTIC PROCESS, if you can stand it – channel the RAGE. But I digress… just know that once you become a ‘Happy Victim’, you are dependent, and anything becomes a delusion, you live in a many facetted dream world, so you will need external intervention to stop – your truth has gone, indeed your truth is whatever ‘you have to do’ in this moment or that. You will tell yourself you like it, you need it, you have an addictive personality etc etc, and Real You will exit stage left.
So we start the finish of this post now, in line with what I’ve just said I have x2 last little general warnings for you, about why you may fail at this because of parts of yourself that will put up the most resistance that may not be part of your Key Feature, but will be there to a greater or lesser degree, and they are both connected:
First – Try not to be SCARED ALL TIME of anything that isn’t life-threatening, it is the Fake Fear of Not Death, it is an illusion and one of the main ways your Fake Self uses to control you. See being scared makes you overcompensate, makes you aggressive and twitchy, suspicious even, while you need to be calm. You try and BE scary, you act up as a form of EGO defense – YOUR FALSE SELF ATTEMPTS TO DEFEND ITS SELF THIS WAY, and as such is the classic failure of YOUR ABILITY TO CHANGE. DON’T DO THIS – don’t get scared and try and be scary, stop that shit, next to the pathetic Truth Nazi, desperate to be right about something, the ‘Scary Pussy’ is the worst type of unschooled gifted character. You must get that at your current level you are REALLY NOT SCARY because you don’t even exist on the spectrum of scary, so trying to be a bit scarier to make yourself feel better is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME – YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE WORLD.
Please get this – I have Pets scarier than you, Thumper the fucking Rabbit is scarier than you, Bambi on her period is scarier than you, you tool. You are a slave, you don’t even know what scary is, so JUST KNOW FOR NOW TRYING TO BE SCARY, BE THE MAN, BE A BITCH IS JUST YOUR FAKE SELF TRYING TO DEFEND ITSELF AGAINST REAL YOU. So try and have some class instead eh, try and be a GROWN UP, not some messy bitch in the playground, forever acting out your shit cause you don’t know any better. MOST OF ALL KNOW THAT TRYING TO BE SCARY WHEN YOU ARE NOT MAKES YOU INTO A TOTAL WANKER AND IS USED AS A TACTIC BY YOUR FAKE SELF TO STOP YOUR DEVELOPMENT. Maybe try and be brave for once eh, know your level, and STOP FAKING IT. To be scared or to try and act scary against anything that is not death is A METHOD OF CONTROLLING YOU. However bad your next Electricity bill is it won’t actually KILL YOU will it, but just think of all the stupid shit you will do worrying about it eh, and see that shit as food for something else that is controlling you. Get this? Shit or get off the pot, move on and DO something.
Try and get used to seeing your life this way – EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL (YOUR LEVEL) IS INEVITABLE, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT EXCEPT CHOOSE HOW TO RESPOND. THERE IS SIMPLY NO POINT IN BEING SCARED OF IT LIKE A GUTLESS DORK – FACE IT AND ACT. The only value in Fear is as a chemical reaction to help you fight or run physically, it is not meant to be a mental state you fucking live in – ALL OTHER TYPES OF FEAR YOU FEEL ARE BECAUSE YOU ARE A PUSSY, YOU ARE YOUR FAKE SELF.
Remember Nietzsche’s Golden Rule – the key to being the greatest version of yourself is Amor Fati, ‘LOVE FATE’, because everything else is just bloody STUPID, pointless, and lets your Fake Self fuck you over, AGAIN. So when you see the SHIT in your life coming full on toward you SMILE, relax and do what is necessary TO DEFEND YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CHOICE – however bad it gets it is meant to be for some reason you don’t understand but cannot escape, EVER, until you DEVELOP YOURSELF. DON’T cry like a bloody child, don’t run back to fake you for some illusionary comfort, so it can laugh at you, AGAIN. Actions speak louder than fucking social media posts, which are only for twats, ok?
See, until you learn to ‘fend’ for yourself you will remain a slave, but, take heart, there is a really good use for all this Fake Fear right now, all these dumb ass little patterns you have, for the childish level you live at, one we can use to help with this transition…
Second – STOP EXCUSING YOURSELF ALL THE TIME, when you fail, stop being OK with it – BE HUMILIATED, AND I MEAN FEEL IT. See WE ‘Don’t SHIT where we live’, we don’t embarrass ourselves where ‘you’ are standing right now, you don’t lose your SHIT just because ‘you’ want to, don’t act out all those sad, self-destructive little behaviors you did as a child and never grew out of JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL THE URGE. See it this way – when you are standing in your friend’s kitchen having lovely chat but suddenly feel the need for a bathroom break, you don’t just squat, pull down your knickers, and piss on the floor do you, you are not a street whore, drug addict or a vagrant who does not care they fail the test for entry into the human race, you wait and slip away unnoticed to the bathroom, you make no sign you have the urge, you don’t comment on the need to take a shit, you have manners, don’t you? See if you did just relieve yourself right there and then YOU WOULD BE EMBARRASSED, you would look at others doing that and think they were scum, low lives, animals, would you not? See, even though you understand the process of needing the bathroom NOW, you have been taught since childhood to act with some CLASS, so you DON’T PISS THE BED anymore do you, even though it would be so much easier not to have to get up. BUT in our world YOU PISS THE BED EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU GIVE INTO TO PETTY URGES.
See, outside of your biological functions YOU CANNOT DELAY INSTANT GRATIFICATION UNLESS SOMETHING EXTERNAL STOPS YOU, can you? You live your life forever giving in to MOMENTARY SELF INTEREST, blissfully unaware that is WHAT IS KEEPING YOU STUCK AS AN ANIMAL because that is what animals do – they do whatever they want at the moment based on what they did in the past, with no thought of the future. This is the 2nd biggest trap your Fake Self uses on you, to CONTROL YOU, by making things very appealing in the moment, but which HAVE NO VALUE OVERALL, not just because they destroy you long term, but because they ARE DENYING YOU YOUR BIRTHRIGHT – FREEDOM = POWER OVER YOURSELF. But you don’t see LONGER TERM IN THE MOMENT, you only feel this or that INSTANT NEED, because you are an animal, you believe your animal self IS VERY IMPORTANT. What is worse SOCIETY tells you this is ok to live this way, everything has to be fast, and now, AS THAT IS HOW SOCIETY SELLS YOU STUFF – IT TEASES YOU IN THE MOMENT WITH CONSTANT AROUSAL OF ATTRACTIVE THINGS AND THEN SAYS ‘HAVE IT NOW’, SO YOU BUY IT, NOW. If you just waited 5mins most of the desires you have would literally pass into nothingness, and those clever marketing boys and girls know this very well…
So understand now, USE YOUR FEAR OF EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF OWN YOUR KIND, the Gifted and see both the occurrence of confliction and petty negative emotion as a TEST OF YOUR LEVEL. Take the vow now to never lose your shit like a bitch, never to piss on the floor again, and start to climb back up to the ‘normal’ level of an Aristos, of what you were born to be, instead of LIVING LIKE AN ANIMAL. See this and use it – burn into your mind the only use of Fear is to be afraid of making a fool of yourself by showing that you are an animal, by GIVING INTO BOTH YOUR ANIMAL URGES AND YOUR FAKE SELVES MANIPULATION OF THOSE URGES because you are a pussy, you are weak, you are a servant of your own slaves rather than their master. Ok?
Burn these x2 TYPES OF NEGATIVE processes in your mind, they are the key methods your Fake Self uses to destroy you – YOU ALWAYS GIVE INTO MOMENTARY FEAR and SELF INTEREST. You must STOP DOING THIS TO BE ARISTOS, you must see them for what they are, METHODS OF CONTROL, and reject them for SOMETHING BETTER – REAL LIFE. They are a CAGE IN YOU LIVE IN, and NEED TO BE FREE OF, you are chained every damn day to your FEARS and SELF INTERESTS OF THE MOMENT, like an iron ball that is stopping you from getting free. They are a prison, because you buy the illusion of them, and later they will both be a large part of your death. So, AT THE START, just Listen, Smile, Agree, with Fake Little You, and then do whatever the FUCK REAL YOU WAS GOING TO DO ANYWAY.
Ok? Cool… for now you just need to repeat after me…
YOU MUST START TO CONTROL YOURSELF THROUGH THE PROGRESSIVE ADOPTION OF THESE EXTERNAL, ARISTOCRATIC STANDARDS OF BEHAVIOUR.
OVER TIME YOU WILL START TO SEE ANIMAL YOU AND FAKE YOU CLEARLY WHEN THEY ACT UP, AND BE ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR ANIMAL WHILE STOPPING YOUR FAKE BITCH FUCKING YOU OVER.
THEN, ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE THE SINGLE POINT, THE CHILDISH BELIEF THAT YOUR WHOLE FAKE SELF TURNS AROUND, HANGS ON, AND IT WILL BE A SIMPLE MATTER TO TAKE IT OUT.
AFTER THIS EVERYTHING WILL START TO GO MUCH, MUCH FASTER, AND MANY ELEMENTS, TESTS, AND ACHIEVEMENTS YOU HAVE ROUTINELY FAILED FOR MONTHS CAN BE PASSED IN A FUCKING HOUR.
HOWEVER, IF YOU FAIL TO FACE YOUR KEY FEATURE AFTER YOU HAVE FOUND IT, IF YOU CHOOSE TO ‘DENY CHRISTOS’ BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN’T FACE THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF, THEN YOU WILL BURN, AS YOUR FAKE SELF WILL WIN, AND REAL YOU WILL LOSE.
THAT LOSS IS PERMANENT AND OFTEN LEADS TO SOME FORM OF INSANITY FOR THE GIFTED, AS REAL YOU IS ‘YOU’, YOUR LIFEFORCE ITSELF, SO FAKE YOU HAS NOTHING LEFT TO CHECK IT, WILL STOP PRETENDING AND CRUCIFY YOU.
BUT WAY BEFORE THEN, IF YOU HAVE SIDED WITH YOUR FAKE SELF AND GROWN IT LEGS THROUGH THE AGGRESSIVE USE OF UNSCHOOLED CATHARSIS, YOU WILL ALREADY BE IN SOME DIFFICULTY, NO MATTER HOW YOUNG AND HEALTHY YOU APPEAR TO BE.
MANY OF US HAD THIS ISSUE AS GIFTED HEDONISTS, LIVING OUR LIVES WITH ‘SHOULDER ANGELS’ DAY IN, DAY OUT, SO BEST KNOW NOW THAT THERE IS NO ‘STARTING’ OR ‘NOT STARTING’ FOR YOU, THIS WAR HAS ALREADY BEEN RAGING INSIDE YOU FOR YEARS – YOU WILL ALREADY BE ‘DAMAGED GOODS’ AND RIDDLED WITH PARASITES, EVEN IF YOU HAVE NOT YET BECOME ONE YOURSELF.
IF THIS IS YOU KNOW, FOR CERTAIN, THAT IT IS ALREADY MUCH LATER THAN YOU THINK, AND FOR WHATEVER FUCKED UP REASON YOU ‘THINK’ YOU ARE READING THIS BLOG KNOW THAT IT IS ACTUALLY REAL YOU SCREAMING ‘TIME TO PICK A FUCKING SIDE AND FIGHT, BITCH’.
THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN FIGHT A STRONG FAKE SELF IS TO FIND YOUR KEY LIMITING BELIEF AND TAKE IT OUT. IF YOU DON’T, NO MATTER WHAT ELSE YOU DO YOUR FAKE SELF WILL OVERPOWER IT AND YOU BACKSLIDE CONSTANTLY – YOUR LIFE BECOMES A REPETITIVE SHIT FEST. MANY OF YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT THIS IS, EVEN WHY IT HAPPENED TO YOU AND WHAT TRIGGERS IT, BUT IF YOU DON’T THEN YOU MUST ACTIVELY LOOK FOR IT
ALWAYS START TO LOOK FOR THIS BELIEF AS THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR SAME-SEX PARENTS HEREDITARY GIFT TO YOU, ITS MAIN FEATURE. SPEND TIME WITH THEM IF YOU CAN, TALK ABOUT THEIR YOUTH, WHAT THEY DID, WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM, AS IT OFTEN BECOMES VERY CLEAR, VERY QUICKLY – YOU MAY FIND THERE ARE THINGS THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO TELL OR SHOW YOU. IF YOU HAVE A SIBLING IT MAY ALSO HELP TO SEE THE TRUTH ABOUT THEM TOO, AS YOU WILL BE THE SAME IN THIS REGARD, EVEN IF THE BELIEF SHOWS ITSELF DIFFERENTLY IN THEM.
THEN YOU JUST NEED TO FACE IT, AND THE METHOD FOR THAT ALWAYS STARTS THE SAME WITH A BIG BAD FAKE SELF – GET QUIETLY AND SECRETLY MAD AND STAY MAD AT ‘YOURSELF’, YOUR OWN REPETITIVE, NASTY MEDIOCRITY, AND CHALLENGE IT CONSTANTLY. THIS CHANGE WILL PANIC IT, SO YOU CAN SEE IT, BY SEEING WHAT IT DOES IN RESPONSE.
THEN YOU TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T LOOK BACK. KNOW THAT IT MAY NEVER LEAVE YOU COMPLETELY, BUT ONCE YOU SEE IT YOU CAN IGNORE IT, LIKE THE INCREASINGLY DISTANT BARKING OF AN ANNOYING DOG THAT JUST FADES AWAY WHEN YOU STOP SHOUTING AT IT.
PLEASE BE ASSURED, WITH 100% CERTAINTY, YOUR REAL LIFE WILL ONLY START AFTER YOU HAVE DONE THIS, BUT THE HARDER IT IS TO ACHIEVE THIS CHANGE THEN THE GREATER YOUR REAL LIFE WILL BE, AS THEY ARE DIRECTLY RELATED.
MANY ASPECTS OF YOUR EXISTING LIFE PREFERENCES WILL NOW START TO DROP AWAY FROM YOU, AND FOR SOME THAT MAY BE THE MAJORITY OF YOUR EXISTING LIFESTYLE. GO EASY WITH MAJOR CHANGES, HAVE SOME CLASS WITH PEOPLE, EVEN IF YOU NOW SEE THEM AS PARASITIC SCUM YOU LOATHE, THERE IS RARELY ANY NEED TO KILL THEM.
YOU MUST FIND YOUR STYLE OF ESSENCE AS YOUR NEXT PRIORITY – THIS IS YOUR REAL HERO’S JOURNEY. DON’T BE SCARED OF IT LIKE A RABBIT IN THE HEADLIGHTS AND DON’T EXPECT THE ANIMALS TO UNDERSTAND OR LIKE THIS CHANGE IN YOU.
SO NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE AN ARISTOCRAT NOW – WHENEVER YOU FIND YOURSELF UNSURE OF WHAT TO DO ALWAYS TRUST AND CHOOSE THESE NEW BEHAVIOURS. SEE THE POINT OF YOUR LIFE WAS ALWAYS TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, ITS JUST YOU MADE A TOTAL BOLLOCKS OF IT BEFORE.
ONE LAST LITTLE TIP, FOR THOSE WHO CAN – WHEN YOU FIRST BREAK YOUR FAKE SELF AND REJECT THE BASTARD, YOUR REAL SELF AS YOUR CONSCIENCE EMOTIONS WILL BE MUCH CLOSER TO THE SURFACE OF YOU. YOU WILL NOTICE THEM MUCH MORE, HAVE MANY MORE COMPLEX EMOTIONS THAT YOU ARE NOT USED TO, OFTEN ALL AT THE SAME TIME AND SO DON’T UNDERSTAND.
SO WHY NOT ENTERTAIN IT, GET USED TO FEELING IT – PLAY IT SOME DEEP, EMOTIONAL CLASSICAL MUSIC, TRIGGER IT SO YOU CAN USED TO FEELING IT, WHAT THOSE NEW FEELINGS MEAN, AS THEY ARE YOUR BIRTHRIGHT. SEE THAT IS HOW IT WANTS TO SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF THINGS, SO IT HELPS TO GET USED TO IT – YOU ARE AN ARISTOCRAT NOW, THAT IS WHAT THIS MUSIC IS ACTUALLY FOR.
LASTLY, NO MATTER HOW KIND AND DECENT YOU WISH TO BE TO THE ANIMALS YOU KEEP IN YOUR LIFE KNOW X2 THINGS VERY CLEARLY – A) THEY ARE ANIMALS, THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU, THEY ONLY UNDERSTAND FEAR AND SELF-INTEREST. B) YOU MUST ALWAYS BE READY TO DEFEND YOURSELF AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE, AS THEY WILL SENSE YOU ARE DIFFERENT THAN THEM NOW. SO TO AVOID A LONELY START TO YOUR NEW LIFE TRY AND FIND OTHER GIFTED FOLKS TO BEFRIEND.
KNOW THAT ALL OF US WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS PROCESS WISH YOU THE VERY BEST, AND HAVE YOUR BACK. THIS STUFF IS WRITTEN FOR YOU, SO IT IS TIME TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY BUT KNOW WHEN THIS JOURNEY CHALLENGES YOU MORE THAN YOU HAVE OR CAN TAKE, ALWAYS REMEMBER FOR GIFTED FOLKS THERE REALLY IS NO CHOICE – ITS THIS OR SOME FORM OF DELUSION, OBLIVION, DREAM WORLD THAT ALWAYS LEADS TO INSANITY.
IT IS A COLD COMFORT BUT IT IS THE TRUTH – YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. SO GET ON WITH IT – FEEL MORE, THINK LESS, AT LEAST UNTIL YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING THINK.
IT’S ALWAYS LATER THAN YOU THINK AND ONE DAY, YOU DON’T NOTICE, YOUR CHANCE WILL HAVE PASSED, AND THAT WILL BE MUCH HARDER TO TAKE THAN THESE STANDARDS ARE TO STICK TO…
BE CLEAR, ANY FAILURE WILL NOW BE YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE.
MORE GOD, LESS DOG
Before we finish today, I would repeat this is a basic fit of How To Ride Yourself, but is enough for you to START. There are many aspects of your Fake Self you need to get used to before other detail is useful, particularly how your Fake Self controls your animal self to create phantom pains, illnesses, thirst, hunger, feeling of all kinds and all things sexual desire. Therefore know in the meantime one of the great truths for GIFTED Seekers of all kinds is NOT to take your current sexuality too seriously, as it will change several times over the course of your development, often changing back again – your Real Self does have VERY stable preferences but your Fake Self deals in ‘its’ needs/fears of the moment. Don’t let it define you, don’t start to wear it as a ‘role’ that is perm, that is only true for animals, and for gifted folks sexuality migrates very quickly to the classic phase of ‘Love of the Beautiful’ in all its forms, moving on from JUST physical desire, which is so often corrupted by a strong Fake Self to manipulate you before disappearing. Yep, strong spiritual factors can make some straight people gay and gay people straight, and everything in between – sometimes it is good for you, and sometimes its REALLY is NOT, it is totally FAKE – Fake You eats Real You for ‘a living’.
For now just know you cannot trust animal sexual desire as a sensation in the moment, BUT you can trust desire linked to Beauty, as that is the growth of your Real self – you need to know the difference. It is useful to know that if your sexuality changes several times over the course of your life or remains very fluid that is a sign you are progressing, even if it is not clear to you. Just be very aware that it may become a battleground for Real You vs Fake You, and you make experience animal-level aversion of many different kinds, particularly fear or embarrassment or crippling tension in moments where your Fake Self tries to stop you ‘following your heart’, because IT WILL DO THAT TO PROTECT ITSELF, BUT it will make wasting yourself on parasites REALLY EASY. It can be quite shocking when Fake You weakens and Real You gets stronger to find your sexuality changes, but at the start, it is most likely just temporary, and often due to the effects of others, ie it is unimportant.
As I have said above, the trick is to find the IMPORTANT people in your life who are above your level, who can both feed Fake you (so it does not resist) and develop you (so weaken Fake You), that is when it matters – before that everything is really just practicing, and even that should be minimized later in life, as its an energy drain that can stop your development dead if the person is ‘wrong for you’. Yep, be a grown-up about your sexuality, but there is no need to wear it like a ‘badge of honor’, some level of seeker 101 achievements either, as some 4th ways do – the ‘fashion’ for different types of sexuality, the David Bowie/metro-sexual approach as a trite, commercial strategy is just as bad as denying it altogether, you are not playing a game here so we don’t bother with any of that. Just chill with it for now, watch it and try and keep it REAL – sexuality is one part of a VERY BIG picture of who Real You is, so know its a path, and you are not that far down it yet. Until you ditch Fake You you are really never going to know what your Real Sexuality is, so just focusing on all higher feeling is better, all lower feeling is worse, so try and know the fucking difference before you go looking for both at the same time…
Before we end now, know the last post in this series, Part 3 is a massive speed-up for ALL of this work, as it works on you unconsciously, and is Daoist in nature – it is a set of routines you do physically, and requires no mental effort. Best way to look at this last part is that it provides, by freeing up, the energetic fuel for part 1 and 2 to work MUCH QUICKER, while dramatically weakening the BLOCKS you have to parts 1 and 2. Whilst the core of this is to both get your ‘engine’ running MUCH better and start to work with your hormones, your moods and focus, know many of these routines have already been introduced to you in other posts and are designed to CLEAN YOU. Now we need to pull it together under the banner of Drying Out the rotten, mold-encrusted, acid-soaked wet blanket of ‘patterns’ that is currently smoothering the Real Spiritual parts of you, as you no longer feel your spiritual bell ‘ring’ so well – something you have worked on since childhood to hide the difficult emotions that many of you used to feel. All that shit has got to go if you are ever going to prioritize this work higher than your ‘comforts’…
But much as that is all about metaphysical ‘heat’ and ‘damp’, many of you feel this as ‘getting off your knees’, standing up straight for once as all your various ‘diseases’ die away and stop dragging you down, which is in truth the gateway sense of ‘Power Over Yourself’. This is due to an increased energy flow that goes up your spine and strengthens you, rather than straight down and out, so weakening you – causes a genuine sense of stretching upwards, which is dramatically enhanced by improving your POSTURE. It is often only at this point that folks get any sense of how much they have spent their lives cowering behind the sofa, and start to assert themselves against the opinions, the fussy little crap of the other animals, but try and pretend to be the same while somehow never actually doing the stuff they want, even if you start to remove yourself from all your little situations. Your tolerance for other folks made up B/S, their gas-lighting and odd, creepy demands will start to drop away very quickly at this point, and you often get a genuine sense that they are ‘beneath you’ in level, but you must manage this to avoid effecting your own progress.
Consequently, you must keep this last part TOTALLY SECRET, as the animals in your life will sense this change in you and see it as a loss of control – all animal relationships are BASED ON CONTROL, so they will get very worried when they start to lose control over you and you end up having to hurt them for trivial reasons, like disciplining a pet, which you don’t want yet. So we and YOU should characterize these changes as SELF CARE, some new fad off the internet you are doing for the New Year, so I actually choose versions of these that suit that assessment, much as they are ones that allow you to hide the real meaning in otherwise highly practical looking stuff. Hence I have always used the 5 Rites as the core of this, much as it is not ideal for everyone it does work for everyone to a degree, but the Witches amongst you will be changed very quickly if you can get used to ‘spinning’, that is. Just know that there’s no need to worry – these days they won’t drown and decapitate you when they see you dancing around buck naked in the forest, instead they become ‘entranced’, film you for their Insta before asking how much is costs to join your ‘cult’. So give them a wink, tell him it costs your ‘soul’ and then sell them some ugly weed for $500, before laughing manically as you stroll off. Ohhh, try not to be too shocked when you discover you float better also…
To end now – as rather than this compelling but large collection of things that seem urgent but don’t really matter yet as above because you can’t do them, YOU should actively consider the x2 big questions you need to get used too, as a priority when you are doing little else of importance (ie most of your life):
Question A:
- If you have a Conscience then You have Real You.
- If You Have a Real You then You have a Purpose in this World, as that is what Real You ‘is’ – IT DOES BIG STUFF.
- If You have a purpose in this World then you have a ‘Manifest Destiny’, a need to expand, You HAVE A POINT, something you have to START AND FINISH.
You need to think about this and try and edge up to it gently, try some stuff on you have always thought about and see what makes you FEEL STRONG IN YOURSELF, and/or what you were ‘born good at’ and then imagine what that skill enables as a goal. See your life is ART, and you must find out what you are supposed to be creating as an ARTIST, via the Way of the Aristocrat. Think about it…
Question B:
- If you have a Conscience then You have a Strong Fake You.
- If You have a Strong Fake You then You have an incredible reservoir of Your Own Energy, waiting to be reclaimed.
- If You had this massive Birthright of STORED ENERGY, what would ‘you’ DO WITH IT, IF YOU GOT IT BACK.
You need to think about what YOU would be LIKE as AN ARISTOCRAT, as an ARTIST, when you suddenly GET BETTER, when your weaknesses disappear and you are smarter, faster, luckier, determined, confident and unconcerned by life. HOW WOULD YOU BE, DRESS, TALK AND WALK, how would you advertise YOUR NEW LEVEL, who would you spend this level with, and where. Think about it…
When you can answer those x2 Questions accurately, my work here will be done – ONCE YOUR LIFE HAS ‘A POINT’ AND ‘A STYLE’ TO IT, you can start to figure the rest out yourself like all your other HEROES have had to do – YOU WILL BE AN ORIGINAL. I will help you with the 3rd part too, to ‘Dry Out’ so it is easier to feel this and so be reassured and energized by knowing you are on the right path, instead of just crawling around in the dark on the floor, bumping into things.
This is your path, your higher life now, everything else is just to maintain yourself in the world and does not really matter – your higher life is defined by the goal of finding the Real You. This is a faraway goal, a bright light on a hill in the distance with a line between you and it, that we break down into 3 lines as per the 3 parts of this series – you must progress down all 3 of these as best you can. So start walking towards these goals in the manner of ‘How To Be Gifted’, so other lesser Goals, smaller lights appear in front of it as you travel, on each of these 3 lines of ‘work’ that you can use as waypoints to speed up your progress by checking them off, one at a time.
YES, IT’S TIME TO TRY ON THIS ROLE, get used to the UPSCALE GIFTED life, seen as an ‘adventure that matters’, where you are driven by YOUR priorities AS A PURPOSE, rather than your ‘timeline’ of reacting to what ‘USUALLY’ comes next, every min of every day, instead of filling the next 3 mins with some comforting crap, and in that way just ‘killing time’ before ‘time kills you’, like an animal – TRY AND SEE THIS DIFFERENCE RIGHT NOW, THE POINTLESS HORROR OF WHAT YOU WERE AND THE BENEFIT, THE POWER OF HAVING A CLEAR GOAL AS A PURPOSE, RIGHT NOW.
Then know old you is not YOU ANYMORE – so ‘you’ have to go find the ‘point of you’, as you have to start to stop using all those old patterns now, and understand your ‘place in this world’ is way HIGHER UP THE BLOODY FOOD CHAIN THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT.
BE CLEAR – YOU HAVE ANOTHER LEVEL NOW, ABOVE YOUR ANIMAL PET’S INSTINCTS, BEYOND YOUR FAKE BITCHES CONTROL, SO YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT, REAL YOU WON’T HAPPEN ELSE, BUT IT REALLY WANTS TO HAPPEN – SO GET YOUR FAKE SELF OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY AND LET IT HAPPEN.
You are slowly heading down the path to a LIFE OF CONSEQUENCE, of doing stuff differently and changing things both in you and outside of you. Yep, you change the lives of FOLKS around you simply by being present – instead of playing out the normal patterns set in stone years ago your presence causes things to change, be new. You are not meant to be one of thousands of cogs in a line, whose presence or absence is meaningless as the same shit happens anyway, you are an individual, you CAN CHANGE THINGS, and you most likely already do, you affect reality.
So GET USED TO THIS, get used to starting to make different choices outside of your programming, be an Individual, not part of the ‘herd mind’, where your thoughts are forced on you. You are going to find out what it means to be Authentic, to ‘be yourself’, so start trying to change things whenever you can, not the world, just yourself, just go somewhere different, do something different, be someone different for a while – HAVE SOME CONSEQUENCE IN YOURSELF. See when you get used to ‘deciding to do’ and then ‘doing’ you will start to see the point of all this, as your life will stop being accidental BECAUSE YOU HAVE POWER OVER YOURSELF, and you will actually NEED to actively DO things as a decision. THEN YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU LIKE rather than just act out your patterns as you no longer react to them, and are no longer concerned about the cage of potential, external consequence of your actions that currently confines you, AS ‘THEY’ HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU ‘DO’ NOW. Trust me its the only way to live, and later you will understand that life without this POWER, when your life is so repetitive, so narrow, and so fucking tedious, is the life of a SLAVE, no matter what you tell yourself…
Quote to end as always: this one is from that same old French Rinzai Zen teacher of mine, who is actually ‘THE’ Old Bastard. Once upon a time, long ago and far away from here, he took me to task for ‘whining’, that I did not deserve the vicious critique of my failure to break through some barrier, and asked him to ‘help me’ with better advice rather than try and humiliate me, which he did not care for. This is what he said, words I will take to the grave, and you should too, but no modern translation this time as I need you to work out what he means by ‘WHO’ and ‘YOU’ for yourself based on this post, there is no point in me writing it if you can’t…
‘You are a FOOL. For all your natural talent and internal skill you remain shackled to the demon of your own Mediocrity simply because you lack the courage TO FACE IT. ‘Who’ is this who speaks to me about help?! ‘Who’ is this who justifies his own failure to progress?! IT IS NOT YOU, IS IT? So here is your advice ‘little man’ – TRY HARDER, MORE EFFORT, THEN MORE EFFORT, THEN MORE FUCKING EFFORT. Until you ‘see into your own nature’ you are doomed, and whatever you get in this life will be taken from you, and used against you by your Demon. Know this for certain – You MUST Kill or Be Killed, ‘your’ life depends on it.’
At this point he paused and looked at me hard, so I tried to APOLOGISE for my lack of respect and JUSTIFY myself, which was also a mistake…
‘Just get out, your cowardice is infectious, it taints us all – YOU ARE SCARED OF YOURSELF, SO YOU ARE SCARED OF EVERYTHING, YOU ARE TIMID LIKE A LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER. Yet they say you are a dangerous man, a cunning man, a violent man, HA! all I see is a self-important child who wets the bed because you believe the wind outside is a host of monsters COME TO GET YOU. Yet it is just the wind, and does not even KNOW YOU EXIST, NOBODY DOES… TRY HARDER, SIT UP ALL NIGHT UNTIL YOU PASS OUT AND THEN TRY HARDER!!!’
Yep, one of the many awful truths about Spirituality is that until you remember how to TRY LIKE A BASTARD, like your ancestors had to, like your life depends on it, you will fail, but at least you understand why now – You FAIL at coping with the frustration of FAILING because you are a PUSSY, so you stop, when all you have to do is keep going, while using that frustrating to spur you on. So find your own inner Gangsta eh – when it all looks impossible and you are not going to make it YOU SMILE AND DOUBLE DOWN, as you know your god thinks there is hope for your dumbass yet, and has sent this test to you to MAKE YOU HARDER, otherwise you are as good as dead…
So why not give it a go now eh, why not break the cage of ‘consequences’ you are so trapped by, GIVE IT A TRY. So why not focus on getting something you want instead of worrying about the consequences, about what might happen that you don’t want or can’t deal with, why not just do something that you REALLY WANT ON A HIGHER LEVEL, something childish even, without giving the smallest fuck what happens by letting the consequences WORRY ABOUT YOU, FIT IN WITH YOU, BE SCARED OF YOU. You are Gifted are you not, so you will cope one way or another, why worry…
So don’t fucking worry, it does not matter if you get it wrong, you simply do not need to repeat what you have said, you do not need to apologize for it, or explain why you did it – it does not matter because you don’t really matter at your current level and you parasites sure as hell don’t, when you take a moment to look down on yourself, it’s all a bit embarrassing really. See to think and feel like everything is a life or death decision when it is clearly not is just an excuse for the gutless – IT IS FAKE YOU. Look back at all the pointless routines you have acted out today if that helps – obligations to this or that you have fulfilled OUT OF FEAR, habits you are totally unconscious of in the moment you do them, as it may show you, convince you that you live the life of slave, full of shit you don’t want but can’t let go of, exactly like your mind. YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS FULL OF SHIT YOU DON’T WANT BECAUSE YOU ARE A SLAVE.
Then know when you have POWER OVER YOURSELF you will never have to do any of that shit again BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE CONSEQUENCE, HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO. See ‘reality’ will recognize that, and things will change, indeed every single thing that keeps you down will step back and go ‘Oh Shit, the game is up, now we are in trouble…’. The chains that bind you are made of glass and smash very easily WHEN YOU HAVE CONSEQUENCE AND THAT IS A MINDSET – ARISTOCRATS DON’T LET OTHERS HAVE POWER OVER THEM. You can never develop yourself with a slave mindset, you will always fail in the end because you expect to fail, that is what a slave is, you exist to serve others, so YOU are a failure by definition – there is NO REAL YOU, just FAKE, servant you – YOUR REALITY IS DEFINED BY OTHERS EVERY SINGLE DAY, and you do what you are told in order to survive the day. THAT IS NOT LIVING, that is being dominated by CIRCUMSTANCE, there is no ‘YOU’ WHEN YOU ARE FORCED TO ACT OUT OTHER PEOPLE’S WISHES, you are ACTING FALSELY. So why not start that change now, you might surprise yourself…
MAKE THE SPACE IN YOUR MIND TO DEVELOP THE FEELING OF PURPOSE, AND MAINTAIN IT AS YOUR RESTING MINDSET, THEN YOU WILL BE ARISTOS. AND THEN ONE DAY YOU WILL CATCH YOURSELF JUST AS YOUR KEY FEATURE, YOUR CLEVER BITCH KICKS IN JUST BEFORE YOU ACT OUT YOUR SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR, YOUR JUSTIFICATION, YOUR SELF-DEFENSE, YOUR COMFORT, AND YOU WILL BE SHOCKED, AND WONDER HOW THE FUCK YOU MISSED IT ALL THESE YEARS. Helps a lot if you practice looking to, every time you make a mistake, every time you drop something, every time you want to rage, as you will notice you go slightly hazy, slightly woozy, your vision goes slightly cloudy, maybe even skip forward a second or to, just as your fake self kicks in…
So what are you waiting for..? This is what it means to be Aristos, to have enough space in your mind and enough control to hold a summary of WHO YOU ASPIRE TO BE in your head all the fucking time. Then you will start to live, start to be able to feel life instead of think it, start to know what is true and false by the way it ‘tastes’, start to be able to manage your level of consciousness and adjust the apparent speed of time passing instead of that happening when it wants. You will no longer be reliant on badly performed sex, violence, or dangerous shit to generate the catharsis you need to live, you don’t have to lose your shit all the time to feel alive. Then you can do it whenever you wish by following a simple 3 step process, all you have to do is BE REAL, by breaking your Fake Self FIRST. This will change how you react to these lower vibrations of this world, the ones that make you tense and close you down, the ones that LOWER your level, and instead choose the ones that raise it, that add to you, that make you BIGGER. Yep, there is a reason why ‘trouble just seems to find your ass…’, as all gifted folks act like a magnet for the coarser animal passions that destroy them, your higher level attracts FAR more than normal plus all the parasites that go with them, kinda why it’s easy to spot you fuck ups and judge how gifted you are, even from quite a distance…
Next time, in part 3 of this series we are going to tell you why you are trapped by these coarse versions of the shit you like so much, by introducing you to the ‘magnum opus’ that is P.D.s theory of Impressions, so we can bypass all that Daoist energy transformation crap you are never going to understand, let alone ‘buy’. See you need to understand that the entire 4th Way can be boiled down to a very simple fact – to progress on this path you must choose the higher versions of what you chase so much as they build you up, and the reject the lower ones as they destroy you, ‘isolate’ yourself from them – this is what CLASS, TASTE, HONOR ACTUALLY IS. See those energies combine with yours and ‘average you out, down’, so absorbing shit impressions lower than you obviously decreases you and your life gets stuck, gets shittier, but the higher ones raise you up by AVERAGING YOU UP, so your life gets better. But YOUR Fake Self has been built on these lower impressions since childhood and they are the only ones it lets through its defenses to give you pleasure, while the other, MUCH more powerful ones are smothered or misunderstood even if it can’t stop them. Personally, without this ability to judge I’d be long dead or locked in some dark hole somewhere, but I’m sure even now many of you can relate to your version of this…
So now you understand the way of the Aristocrat, the way of ‘managing your reactions’ as job 1 in your life, you should be able to cope with WHY this is literally life or death for the gifted, and WHY you have to break your Fake Self, and choose your Real Self, no matter how much fun you think you are having. Yep, this is why ‘Everything that kills me makes me feel alive..’, however briefly, AND why ‘Everything that drowns me makes me want to FLY’, more reliably, (Sorry, Ryan Tedder). But I digress…
Last little teacher secret, kept to the end so you take it away – its amazing how much easier all the above gets when you HAVE SOME CONSEQUENCE. Simply stop worrying about day-to-day scenarios in life, see those scenarios as the society of bugs and little animals around you AND STOP WORRYING – you will cope, whatever comes out of those gates BECAUSE YOU ARE GIFTED. Low level worrying about EVERYTHING as a form of daydreaming is 80% of many unschooled gifted peoples WHOLE lives, STOP FUCKING DOING IT, it makes no difference to anything BUT IT TAKES ALL YOUR POWER. Yes, I know you can’t DO anything YET, but you need to get the secret to STARTING TO have Consequence is to STOP BELIEVING YOU HAVE NO CONSEQUENCE, which is what worrying about everything actually is… PUBLISH AND BE DAMNED.
Ahhh… but ‘I can’t stop’ you shout like a bitch, ‘these thoughts just come at me over and again’, you CRY. And that’s bullshit… of course you can stop, if you CHANGE WHAT IS CAUSING THEM. See ALL low-level addictive thoughts and urges are caused by the everyday IMPRESSIONS YOU LOOK FOR AND ACCEPT triggering habitual reactions in you, and the worse those impressions are, the lower and more animal they are in nature, the lower they MAKE YOU. Yep, surrounding yourself with SHIT will make you feel SHIT, even if you think its fun, its easy, its safe – they lower your level continually, on every engagement, on every interaction. Now Impressions is a big ass topic for next time but for now know that what YOU LOOK AT, WHO YOU LET LOOK AT YOU, YOUR ENVIRONMENT, YOUR SURROUNDINGS MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE TO YOUR LIFE. It is a fundamental part of the Honor concept…
Yes, the pop psychology line where you become an average of the 3-4 people you spend the most time with is TRUE. Yes, there is a really good reason the kings and queens of old banned their subjects from looking straight at them. Yes, there is a reason that many Left-Hand path types wear the Eye of Horus or the Eye of Hamsa to ward off the ‘Evil Eye’ to this day. The quality of the Impressions, (for now lets just say what you see and what others see in you, much as its a bit more Cosmic than that), MATTERS, as they are food that can either poison you or promote you IF YOU CHOOSE WISELY. Want better thoughts = CHANGE YOUR EXTERNAL IMPRESSIONS, force yourself to engage with BETTER STUFF. See there is a reason than at healthy 30min walk in nature lifts everyone’s ‘spirits’, but the same 30mins walking through a city tends to depress you, make you angry, make you scared, and hence trigger all the habitual shit you do to feel a bit better, as FAKE YOU sees the opportunity to FEED ON YOU, and start the whole negative feedback loop of LOWER IMPRESSIONS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. What you are using to feel better is a CONJOB, it makes you feel worse straight afterward as Fake You disappears, unless it contains a higher impression…
So MAKE BETTER CHOICES IN WHAT YOU LOOK AT, CHOOSE BEAUTY, CHOOSE CLASS, ART, TASTE, THE HIGHER VERSIONS OF THE UNSCHOOLED CATHARSIS YOU CHASE. Then you will find a lot of the SHIT you wade through every day starts to disappear, particularly when you cut parasitic people out of your life and work on your addictive habits. See EVEN JUST one or two VERY low-level, unhappy, demanding, controlling, disturbed folks can actually ruin you YEARS after a while, they are so low level they act like constant drains on you. See this lowering of your level by accepting their impressions IS HOW PARASITES DESTROY you, why I go on and on about this, about what a crime against nature it is. So MAKE THE CHANGE, go look at something else, you might find your thoughts improve enough to be able to control them, and then you CAN DIRECT YOURSELF TO LOOK AT BETTER STUFF, LISTEN TO BETTER STUFF, BE WITH BETTER PEOPLE, PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU MORE THAN YOU STARTED, NOT LESS. This is one of the best ways to recognize an Aristos in waiting, as many of you feel this need from an early age, even if you are covered in parasites otherwise – they try and choose beauty, art whenever they can because they react to it naturally, often very strongly.
Be clear – CONTINUAL, LOW-LEVEL ANIMAL FEARS AND SELF INTERESTS THAT OVERWHELM YOU DEFINE YOU AS A SLAVE… but You are not a slave anymore, are you? So manage your impressions, it’s an easy and quick win for so many you, so soaked in the low level shit of this world. Choose the higher, more beautiful versions of EVERYTHING, reject tedious, ugly shit, stop staring at everything that is wrong, bad, stop eating death, be a ‘passerby’, learn this as a new part of yourself, FORCE YOURSELF TO DO IT UNTIL YOU GET INTO THE HABIT. Stop accepting everything just because it is easy even though you know its shit – You lie down with dogs you get up with fleas, but if you lie down with Gods you get to keep a little part of them THAT IS BETTER THAN YOU. Lower impressions are the eventual cause of ALL YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS, whether you believe it or not, so stop engaging with them as much as you can if you want this to go fast.
Yes, I know you are still weak and inexperienced, but even now you can choose to resist your animal urges and laugh, you can choose to look away, separate yourself from the shit of the world, isolate yourself and laugh at the repetitive, pointless activities in your life, YOU CAN CHOOSE –
MORE GOD, LESS DOG.
If it helps at all I will go along to making you STRONGER in the next post, part 3 of this series, so you will get a lot better at doing Parts 1 and 2. In the meantime know that choosing to live like a DOG also means you are choosing to DIE like one, broken, terrified and alone, and for some of you that will come sooner than you think – You Are Gifted, You Have No Choice But To Develop Yourself, got that yet? Sure tell yourself this is about the current trend for ‘Unconcious Bias’ if you wish, that you are racist, sexist, narcissistic lunatic BUT thats is not your fault as its Unconcious, helps some dumber folks, much as your particular Unconcious bias is self-destruction. Just really do try and keep in mind that if you are GIFTED your Life is SHIT because you are all FAKE AUTOMATICALLY, so you might as well face it – for most the bill starts to come due for all your petty comforts and secret lives after 30, and then it’s all downhill, as you may have noticed.
Yes, there is no point telling yourself you are SHIT unless you can be better, its a bad thing for animals, BUT for you its EVERYTHING AT THE START. See you are SHIT in comparison to what you should be, so take a moment and feel that burn, right now, stop forgiving yourself your ridiculous excuses because it’s EASY, you SHAME YOURSELF and ALL OF YOUR KIND, simply because you cannot stand against your FAKE SELF BY CREATING SOME SPACE IN YOUR MIND.
Laters…
TOB