Yes, we are going to make this EASY because WE WANT YOU TO START, by showing you how to manage your MOOD at the start. See, we know that everything is EASY when you LIKE DOING IT, and so do you – that is why you are a HEDONIST.
See, managing your Mood so you like doing this makes development easier, quicker, AND makes you WANT to do it ALL THE TIME, makes you LOVE it… and that makes it POWERFUL. Put simply, it’s a ‘double bubble’ party trick, the first of the KILLER ones in this system, much as it’s not a Secret – its a combination of Secrets I’ve already told you…
BUT THERE IS A PROBLEM.. so we are going to add something special, just for ‘you’, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T START AT ALL, can you – YOU ARE BLOCKED, SO BLOCKED THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO START. So ‘YOU’ NEED TO FORCE IT, force that MOOD CHANGE, that change in yourself you need in order to start, SO YOU CAN GET PASSED YOUR BLOCKS – I need to teach you the simple, beginner’s version of Catharsis wrapped up in a pro-active ‘3 force’ process TO GIFT YOU THAT POWER – SHOCKER!
Yep, we need to SHOCK YOU, via making you SEE YOURSELF, for REAL, not just in all the little imaginary compartments you ‘live in’, where you are overwhelmed all the time by whatever petty mood you are in because you have NO DISTANCE FROM YOURSELF. We need to deliver a powerful POSITIVE EXPERIENCE, an example of what this path is all about, WAY EARLIER than normal because you are stuck at ‘just interested’. See that feature image on this post is about US showing YOU how to heat the raw iron that is you in your furnace so we can beat it into something that looks like a bloody sword – so you can start to defend YOU from yourself! Yep it’s YOURSELF, the tired old EGO that is stopping YOU from being BETTER, by NOT WANTING TO TRY.
And that’s something you REALLY want to know… see, this whole NOT STARTING thing some of you are ‘rollin’ needs some serious attention, indeed – I’m going to ‘throw the kitchen sink’ at it, by using a strong one-to-one teaching method on you ‘remotely’ via this post, much as it has to be the generic version as I don’t know your type. But no matter – before you read on you should KNOW THIS POST IS A BEAST, IT IS THE BIG BOOK OF HOW TO START DEVELOPMENT, THE ONE SIZE FITS ALL GUIDE TO HOW TO START WHEN YOU CAN’T.
To set the scene – today we are going to keep this REALLY simple, so NO complex models like your ‘False Personality’, no chat about what causes you to like or dislike stuff, no understanding of your hormones, indeed no discussion about any next level stuff about How to be GIFTED, Parts1/2/3 – that is all for folks who have already made the JUMP and are MOTIVATED, excited by this, those posts are just beyond little old you. See we know you are not MOTIVATED are you, you have way better shit to do with your life than this, you are just to clever for us, you want Hedonism, escape, and comfort, you DON’T want anything that looks hard, where you have to TRY, do you, because you expect that to FEEL SHIT…
But you like to read don’t you, see reading makes you think you are actually doing something about it, about being GIFTED, so you can think with somebody else’s ‘head’ for a while, rather than the feckless shit that is in ‘yours’ moment to moment. This way ‘I’ can think for you, because you will just be sabotaged by your own thoughts without me, like you always are, because you are trapped in the cage of ‘animal you’ – YOU HAVE NO ARISTOCRATIC DISTANCE FROM YOURSELF, YET.
SO BRACE YOURSELF AND READ THIS 40K WORD POST, let me ‘think for you’, as it may be your last chance TO START…
First, know the title and feature image of this post has been chosen just for you, the GIFTED folks who CAN’T START, they can’t do anything seriously, even though they actually think, perhaps even ‘know’, they are a HIGHLY GIFTED HEDONIST, hell.. they even understand there Gift is ‘why-they-are-the-way-they-are’ now, BUT THEY STILL CAN’T START. Worse, many of you are experiencing more and more failure, unhappiness, emotional ‘unease’ that’s bordering on panic attacks – you can actually ‘feel’ your decline but you just think it’s OLD AGE that is robbing you of your power. Some of you even understand there’s a direct benefit to creating a Deputy Steward in yourself, as you will be able to literally order your animal self around with ease BUT YOU STILL CAN’T BE ARSED TO TRY. Bizarre really, but then you don’t know any different, do you…
So this post is for all of you, particularly the ones I know, who are BLOCKED, as those blocks will just ‘double-tap’ any development right to the head, ‘knee-cap’ any attempt to ‘walk away’ from your current negative patterns with a sledgehammer. So you are stuck, much as many of you are still dumb enough to STILL think this is actually ‘your’ choice NOT TO START… For everyone else, this post is kinda optional but READ IT ANYWAY, as you have probably not gotten that far yet either, have you… And you want to try the special bit, don’t you, see the explanations around this can be VERY eye-opening for many of you, so don’t just skip straight to it, you need to do all 3 parts for it to work as intended, if its to get you to START, much as I’m going to have to explain a hell of a lot of ‘other’ stuff for IT TO WORK – you have to BOTH Value your GIFT MUCH MORE HIGHLY, AND LEARN to recognize your BLOCKS, if you are ever going to get to the other side of them.
Frankly, there is a whole catalog of reasons why some of you CAN’T START, quite apart from the classic and very common – ‘some types of Hedonism totally exhaust you by your early 30s, which you then mask with stimulants and simply keep going SO NEVER RECOVER YOURSELF’, you never CONVALESE, so you become increasingly ‘dazed and confused’, an ‘over emotional joke’ for the ‘others’ to tell. So do keep in mind the main 3rd force trick to this process is managing your bloody MOOD to help break the spell of ALL GATEWAYS into passive ‘self-destruction’, particularly when you simply don’t know any better – you are just one more starving stray cat who STILL won’t drink the milk I kindly leave outside, a vain little pussy stuck in ‘fuck you’ mode AS THAT IS YOU ONLY PROTECTION. An old teacher of mine used to call it the ‘High Style of the Damned’, much as he did not mean it to sound cool I guess there is something there, the ‘collateral beauty’ of throwing yourself away in order to actually feel the ‘real’ value of yourself for a moment, as every other touch point in your life feels ‘valueless’. Know that what you are actually looking for is called the ‘Grand Style of Character’, by none other than Nietzche himself…
But hang on there baby… you KNOW you DO have VALUE now, don’t you, I’ve shown you that – ‘THE’ VALUE of a GIFTED Hedonist no less, maybe even a highly gifted one. You may EVEN have worked out THE point of your whole life has BEEN TO GET YOU TO THIS POINT, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, READING THIS – SO READY/STEADY/GO EH? Yet here you are… totally at ‘peace’ with the pointless fragility of your existence, the inevitability of your hormonal decline, you even blithely accept your forthcoming, untimely and unpleasant descent into.. well, ‘delusion’. How poetic eh, how fucking romantic… how, frankly (as with all unexamined sentimentality), it’s all a bit ‘meh’, eh, all a bit ‘same shit/different day’… And how quickly it all becomes ‘crushingly crass’ and ‘tediously tragic’ and just ‘bloody boring’, how it’s all ‘best seen from a distance’ so you don’t have to see all the grubby little details in the narrative flow that nobody needs to know… much as they do of course, it’s only ‘you’ that has lost sight of ‘yourself’, everyone else you know can’t take their eyes off you, as you are that ‘special’, just to be that close to the ‘magic of you’ makes them all feel so much MORE. But no… here you are, falling at the first real hurdle, tripping over the front door mat ‘on purpose’, so you don’t even have to TRY – you can’t even deal with your own shit for long enough to GET STARTED.
But no matter, see everything has happened before, even this – you are a creature of our woke, fake society, so we know YOUR Valuation of your current Hedonistic self is VERY low vs what you ‘think’ this Left-Hand path is… Hell, YOU think WE don’t value you that much either, do you, you think we are MORAL ‘daemons’, we are good, kind, decent folk ‘who do no wrong’, YOU COULD NEVER BE LIKE US, as we look ‘down on you’ from our gilded Castle, high on that hill in some faraway land and chuckle at your naivety, at the banality of your own little brand of personal ‘badness’…
And you are DEAD WRONG – real morality is actually about personal HONOR or your lack thereof, that is how you FEEL YOUR VALUE, initially just by recognizing that you do have VALUE in our world, THEN START TREATING YOURSELF WITH HONOR VIA MANAGING YOUR GIFTED ENERGY. That is what the old 4th-way concept of Chivalric Honor MEANS – the Medieval cult of ‘Courtley Love’ is about actually feeling the coming and going of your ‘HONOR’ via your Conscience level emotions and initially that feeling of CONNECTION that makes the GIFTED want to be seen in there ‘best light’, which is a great way for Westerners to relate to the personal ‘Energy’ management aspects of development, what the start is all about. This day-to-day experience is a (very) Spiritual Reality for the Gifted, not some artifact of the fucking ‘feudal’ system designed to keep the peasants in their place – Honor is an actual thing when you have the ‘level’ to ‘feel it’. But the unschooled Gifted can only ever have an ‘echo’ of its Reality, and then confuse even that with the distorted Religious MORALITY of the West or EAST, little more than an outdated ‘code of law’ for animals.
Yes, I know you can’t relate to that as you were never taught it at school, WE KNOW YOU ARE STRUGGLING THROUGH THIS LIFE AND DOING THE BEST YOU CAN, as you never knew that ‘who you look at’, ‘who you let look at you’, let alone ‘who you allow close to you’ MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE in this world, you don’t get the concept of physical, emotional and intellectual ‘distance’, in the Aristo sense of it, yet, particularly what it means to have distance from your animal self… So for now just know that there is A VERY BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING (FAKE) GOOD AND BEING HONORABLE, indeed the need for personal Honor is FORCED ON THE GIFTED FROM CHILDHOOD, and with a little self-examination even ‘you’ will find your continual need to find some type of distorted Honor in what you do, and Dishonor is what others do is the single thing that tortures you the most, but do TRY and hold onto to this insight if you are one of those Gifted types who rejects all Eastern mythicism as Woo Woo bollocks. You must use whatever you can relate to as your gateway into the 4th way on this path, but I really hope some of you Highly Gifted DO feel the overpowering reach and the incredible depth of it occasionally, as a reasonable familiarity with conscience-level SHAME is going to come in REALLY BLOODY USEFUL for the rest of this post.
Yep, YOU should be thrilled to know that this stuff even works on the ‘shallow’, ‘lost soul’ thing some of you are so bloody proud of, that everything will be ‘cool’ as long as you ‘live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse’, another wannabe James Dean, tearing down the road to the races in Salinas in your brand new Porsche 550 Spyder, totally unaware you are simply waiting your turn to be found crushed under the ‘Little Bastard’ on the I46, so sure ‘that guys gotta stop…’, before being dragged out of the wreck with a broken neck and killed by the folks who were trying to save you. The irony, eh… see, I get the whole signature ‘unconscious attraction to the state of death’ of the unschooled Gifted Hedonist thing WAY better than you do girls and boys, and that’s fun for while in your twenties, before it gets all CREEPY and DESPERATE later, when it’s way better as half-remembered, if not totally re-imagined than actually experienced. But we need to go way beyond that illusionary freakshow now – WE NEED YOU TO ‘GET’ THAT YOU HAVE TOTALLY MISSED THE POINT OF HEDONISM, THAT YOU ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG, SO YOU CAN CHANGE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. Yes, I’m KIND to some of you, after my own inimitable fashion, BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH BEING KIND TO. Get it?
So best get ‘comfy’, eh – trust me when I tell you I’ve rammed every bit of explanation and detail I can think of into this post in order try to give you the one that INTERESTS ‘you’, that sparks your soul because you can RELATE TO IT, so you get ‘off the fence’ and take this SERIOUSLY, instead of just seeing it as an interesting book you read on holiday and forget next bloody day… See right now all this DOING spirituality stuff is just not SEXY enough for you, is it, cause you don’t get it yet, do you? And you are so wrong – you are thinking of ‘Religion’, and we don’t do that here, we do the ‘Left-Hand’ path, and this path is SEXY AS HELL, it’s just YOU DON’T FEEL THAT yet…do you. You think its one more of those little ‘self-help’ books, like how all that modern, ‘new age’ crap is sold to the stupid, it is just ‘light entertainment’, just like the blatant, organized ‘gas lighting’ they present as ‘News’ is on social media. So I have to ‘change your mind’, don’t I…
‘Ahhhh, c’mon – why all this effort, eh? THEY CLEARLY DON’T WANT TO START, SO LET THEM BURN…’, (some of) you say… Well, it has come to my attention that many of the MOST gifted amongst you ACTUALLY DO want to START, NEED to start even, but you CAN’T BECAUSE YOU ARE TRAPPED, way outside of what even folks like me consider normal BLOCKS – SO YOU HAVE BECOME EXTREME. So I have to go ‘off piste’, away from the textbook training of what development is and do my best to get you over that hump, otherwise NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE, however much you ‘KNOW’, however ‘GIFTED’ you are, you will simply never start. And I will have to ‘write you off’, which is a bad thing, as it would be ‘the end’ for many of you…
But there is good news too…
SEE, WE KNOW ‘WHY’…… WE KNOW WHY YOU ARE STUCK CHASING A CHEAP, NASTY, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VERSION OF THE CATHARSIS YOU NEED, WE KNOW ALL THE DIFFERENT REASONS YOU CAN’T CHANGE AND DO IT THE RIGHT FUCKING WAY. AND I KNOW HOW TO FIX THAT, BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS REALLY ABOUT GIVING YOU A CHOICE, A CHANCE, CAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T HAVE ONE, YOU DON’T HAVE A VOICE IN YOUR OWN LIFE ANYMORE, YOU JUST HAVE ‘MINE’, AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE… YOU JUST THINK YOU DO.
But take HEART… see to be honest, it’s actually quite common for HEDONISTS to get ‘stuck in the starting gates’, common to think this stuff is just NOT FOR YOU, SO YOU NEVER START. And that’s a ‘Shame’, because IF you are a GIFTED HEDONIST IT ALREADY ‘IS’ YOU, stupid…
Now let’s take a quick step back shall we… overall, this is the last of these crucial in-fill posts between the Secret of Catharsis and the next Secret of Walking, and the one that generally ‘sets the cat amongst the pigeons’, as this the ONE WHERE YOU START TO REALISE THAT THIS PATH USES THE SAME MECHANISMS AS HEDONISM. Indeed, this is the beginning of actually using ‘SELF SHOCKS’ to help yourself get out of the comfortable little rut you live in, what these days they call your ‘comfort zone’, where you just walk around in a ‘daze’ all the time because ‘nothing is new anymore’, you don’t even want anything new now, cause you are little better than a zombie, hell you don’t even see let alone ‘fear the walking dead’ who surround you – YOU ARE VERY HARD TO REACH. So I have to START to ‘shake you up’, a little bit anyway, can’t give you the strong stuff just yet – UNDERSTAND WE NEED TO SHOCK YOU OUT OF YOUR RUT. And by ‘rut’ I mean the pathetic, repetitive thought patterns in your head that define your current formulaic, semi-conscious and largely delusional attitudes…
So, yes, this post is actually about STARTING for the ‘holdouts’, about making efforts, particularly for folks who cannot start because of an ‘EXCUSE’, whatever low-quality B/S reason they tell themselves. We are going to show you how to START CORRECTLY, EASILY, BY ACTING MORE EFFECTIVELY during development and beyond – we have to put you in the right ‘frame of mind’, indeed a whole new state of mind, a new Role, which you experience as a specific MOOD. See, the Mood you are in when you DO spiritual practice is a MAJOR PART OF THE ACTUAL PRACTISE ITSELF, as all positive Moods weaken your ‘blocks’, among many other, more important things.
See, I know that the main reason you CAN NOT Start is the actual reason BEHIND your particular, personal little EXCUSE = SHIT MOOD, your ‘Attitude’ toward starting. See the ‘Role’ you are ‘playing’ during these reading sessions is just too weak-ass to get past your BLOCKS and you need a new one – if you actually knew the truth about your Gift, about how amazing it should feel, about the risks you are taking every damn day by NOT Starting, that your ‘downslope’ is getting steeper and increasing your level of failure, then you would actually think of little else. But ‘no’ you think, not right now – my life situation just does not suit it, my external circumstances are pressing me to do something else instead, ‘thanks, but I’m ok thanks…, maybe later’… AS THAT IS YOUR CURRENT ATTITUDE TO DEVELOPMENT.
So burn this into your head now – the mechanism that decides if you can start or not is the same for everyone – Your Attitude/Mood VS Your Blocks/Parasites = Starting OR Excuse for Not Starting. So if you remember the previous post you will remember we need to introduce a 3rd force to fix that, indeed we actually have to do that ‘to you’ in this case, via this post because I know that literally 90% who could develop AND have met a decent system like this STILL FAIL TO START, unless we up the ‘ante’ a bit, like this. The issue, of course, is that we can manage your Attitude via changing your MOOD, that’s easy if you follow the instructions, but we don’t know what your blocks and problems are, therefore we have to cover ALL OF THEM, so you can find your type…
Now, you may be vaguely aware that whatever Mood you are in has a big difference in the level of performance of the many and various Roles you play, but like most folks, you probably only associate that with Roles linked to highly ‘aroused’, physical states, like sex, sport, the more pleasurable things. And you are only partially right – your Mood is actually the KEY indicator of ANY Role you are playing in itself, therefore it can actually be used to force that Role ‘on you’ (like listening to high-energy music in the gym), even if you have never played that Role before AND make that Role more pleasurable, by definition, as it replaces the incorrect, negative Mood you often use for new, difficult or boring things… Clever, eh… So be clear, SHIT MOOD = SHIT ATTITUDE = SHIT RESULTS, negative moods are only useful to STOP THINGS, STOP YOUR PATTERNS MAKING THINGS HAPPEN BY GETTING MAD AT YOURSELF. But YOU ROUTINELY DO EVERYTHING IN A SHIT MOOD DON’T YOU… because you are STUCK IN ONE, indeed you actually think being in a bad mood is OK, that you are dumb enough to think there is even something NOBLE about the repressed ‘rage’ of being a slave, however much it actually means you are just a gutless dork… Sorry.
See…. just humor me for a sec now… have you never noticed already, that as a gifted Hedonist quite large fucking chunks of your WHOLE life are already TOTALLY DEVOTED to putting yourself in a better mood, TO MANAGING YOUR MOOD BY THE PURSUIT OF SOME LEVEL OF EUPHORIA. Your whole life is broken down into ‘Living for the W/E’ and ‘The W/E’, to everything being ‘A Thrill’ or ‘NOT a Thrill’, or (better put) everything fits into 1 of 4 categories = ‘Chillax’/’Boring Shit’/’Boring Shit with Cheap Thrills’/’Big Thrills’, cause the normal life of a slave is SO DULL. So you basically have just 4 overall types of mood you use, with the dominant one being ‘Boring Shit’, so you never a miss a chance to jump on ‘Boring Shit with Cheap Thrills’. Kinda sad really, as that is the signature state of your ongoing decline into nothingness, yet you are totally addicted to it, its hold over you so strong life without it is very ‘grey’ indeed SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YET THERE IS A WAY BETTER VERSION OF THE SAME THING. See we know you just bounce back and forth using cheaper and cheaper thrills to GET THROUGH THE DAY/WEEK/MONTH/YEAR, slowly getting old and becoming less…
And how shit is that…
A little bit of good news though, see I’m going to USE the whole ‘Boring Shit (you think this is) with Cheap Thrills (which is the start of development)’ mood type you have already have to drag your ass to the start of this path, much as the specific practice at the end will become your ‘Chillax’… Yep, try and get this… see in large part chasing Catharsis like Hedonists do anyway is ALL that Spirituality is ALL ABOUT, yet you think spirituality is about ‘suffering’, so you need this to be ‘spoon fed’, like giving ‘medicine to a child’, instead of just strapping into this spacecraft and pushing the big red button because you KNOW your life depends on it… Maybe try and see it from our perspective – to FORCE THIS ON YOU means we don’t have to wait for the initial practice of development to achieve this positive change in YOU organically, to let it happen by itself – let’s face it eh, most of you ‘slaves’ don’t have the instinctive, emotional, or mental strength to stick out the boring bits at the start do you, your ‘day job’ has made you lazy, comfort-obsessed pussies. So we here on the 4th way believe in forcing the bits of this process that can be forced, whatever the risk to you is, as the risk you incur by doing nothing at all or getting stuck in the starting blocks is far, FAR HIGHER. Get it?
Sure, YOU can wait if you want, if you are already very motivated, and drawn to this, but however OPTIONAL this practice is, know that MANY OF YOU NEED IT IF YOU ARE TO DO DEVELOPMENT CORRECTLY… And frankly, enjoy doing it, so you DO IT MORE – see most of you have no idea how to be Aristo, do you, and faking it, just copying it ain’t going to work for you either, is it. But, the correct Mood is actually WHAT BEING ARISTO IS, along with some WILLPOWER, at the start, you don’t actually need the patterns, we just need to replace the old, shit ones (that won’t work) you are bound to try and use because you don’t know any better… Even cleverer, eh?
So lets ‘GET YOU IN THE MOOD SHALL WE’, see we want to get on with it because we know your ‘window’ of opportunity, where you are near the ‘peak of your powers’ to DO this development is already closing, you will already be passed your best, see that is actually why you are reading this, as a part of you has already noticed this ‘change for the worse’, that the stops on your own little crazy train are running out…
Sounds straightforward, does it not, like any good Key Lesson… a nice little thing you DO if you want rapid progress, and for some of you that is all it is, however usefully it works, those in their 40s and 50s, particularly stronger-minded men who KNOW they should have started years ago will happily incorporate it with little or no ‘fuss’, its a simple thing, a ‘nice to have’, a turbocharger on the engine of your development, they may even get quite excited when they see the effect on themselves. Hell, they don’t even need or even want to know the detail, read the explanation of just how big of a many-skinned ‘Onion’ this one actually is, you lucky bastards…
BUT (and its a BIG fucking ‘BUT’), for many of you this POST IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING, as this little ritual you are about to read about is the ONLY WAY YOU CAN EVER START, based on my experience of teaching some of the most highly gifted Hedonists WHO COULD NOT START, because they THOUGHT they DID NOT WANT TO… THEY DID NOT NEED TO CHANGE BECAUSE THEY DID NOT NEED TO FIX THEMSELVES. Yep, THAT IS WHAT SPIRITUALITY IS ABOUT FOR THEM, THEY THOUGHT THIS IS FOR SICK PEOPLE, so they are literally waiting until they get ‘sick’ – NOT BEING SICK ‘AT THE MOMENT’ IS THEIR EXCUSE. Worse, they think doing spiritual practice actually ‘taints’ you in some way, is an admission that you are not ok in some way, which is just some ‘low level’ shit you got from your tedious little peer group, who all believe whatever crap appears at the top of their social feeds, because they are slaves, so they ‘Hussle Harder, Hussle Smarter’ (whatever the fuck that means…), like lemmings heading to the cliff top…
They are what we call TOTALLY BLOCKED, by the above version of their EXCUSE, often combined with some low-level shit, what we also call the trivia of your ‘life situation’, the perception of their ‘happiness’, however limited, often just by their own ‘clever’, happy-go-lucky little attitude, hell there is ‘nothing-wrong-with-me’, they say… Yep, believe or believe it not, it does not matter how special I show them they are, how much better they could be, how much the miss-use of their GIFT is ALREADY ‘dominating-your-whole-damn-life-so-you-might-as-well-face-it’, even how much worse their life-defining curse will get if they don’t DO something to deal with it, to CHANGE. They still think this is about FIXING yourself, rather than the natural process of Evolution for the gifted…(*sigh)
So they simply remain ‘JUST’ INTERESTED, FOREVER, totally oblivious to the fun fact that even just knowing this stuff, will change them, and I DON’T JUST mean thinking differently, no… see, your GIFT, YOUR ESSENCE, HAS ALREADY BEEN AFFECTED BY THE PATTERNS OF THIS KNOWLEDGE, SO IT WILL ACTUALLY MAKE YOUR PROBLEMS WORSE because it literally strengthens the miss-use of your gift…. like being around some highly gifted people can hit other unschooled gifted folks VERY HARD and accelerate the growth of your gift into your everyday existence, often causing hugely aberrant behavior BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER…
So… I warn you now, THIS IS A SPECIAL POST, for me actually a very personal post, a bit different should you already know the 4th way, see I’m going to write it as a targetted post, just at that specific segment of the highly gifted marketplace, WHO ARE INTERESTED BUT CAN’T START, BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO. See… I used to fall into that category and so know it well – in my youth I hated spirituality as I thought it was for new agers, wannabe superheroes, cowardly religious folks, and desperate freaks looking for a miracle cure, I thought it’s all nonsense because ‘science’, the technology that I loved was ‘king of the modern world’, just like ‘you’ think it is, WHICH IS ALL TOTAL BOLLOCKS. A little side bar fun fact for you – ever noticed that all major dramatic scientific development over the last 100 years just ‘stopped’ about 20 years ago, all the major breakthroughs after WW2 just died away, everything is just debunked or disproved, everything has just stopped getting better… And its only now as we head into the next series of World Wars that things are starting to change again – Ever wondered why that is..? You should do… But I digress, just read what you can find on the net about the ‘3rd Secret of Fatima’, the stuff from the Irish Priest who was there when the Pope read it out loud in 1959, it may help you understand the bizarre desire to compromise over the war in Ukraine from some of the more Religious World leaders as it appears to be coming true, much as I hope you don’t scare easy…
To end this introduction, please do open your mind enough to accept that you may be wrong about everything, to accept your arrogance has NO FOUNDATION whatsoever, that you know virtually nothing about life, and this path is one of the few ways you will ever find out what the fuck is actually happening. Most importantly please accept that I know how to teach this starting thing, however extreme you may have become, as a version of this was done to me many years ago, as a ‘one-to-one session’, because I WAS EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN YOU ARE. Yes, its still rare for any teacher to take on ‘extreme’ types, to accept people who have a high chance of failing out, so it’s kind of a niche I’ve made my own over the years. See most teachers only really want older, educated folks, well-read and very Aristo already via being ‘cultured’ because they want easy wins, they even teach large groups of multiple types of people at the same time to increase their odds.
But I know how to do that ‘to you’, in person at least, because of the type I go for, and MY TYPE IS GIFTED HEDONISTS because I USED TO BE ONE…
So it’s time to start… first… let’s do some prep shall we, as there are a few things you need to GET before you read the rest of this, starting with the intro to what this POST is about AND why it is about that… Let me explain something to you so you can relate to it, why I’m putting this much effort INTO GETTING SOME OF YOU TO START, circa 40K words no less into what is otherwise a simple post worth barely 15k. Yep to make this work you have to know a little bit more about a large number of topics, so I’ve had to cover those topics in just enough detail to both get your understanding AND your interest levels UP.
So, to kick off… it’s a REALLY good idea that you understand how this teaching thing works for ‘us’…
So know that teaching is NECESSARY for the continued development of the teacher at certain higher levels, particularly for the bits that require ‘jumps in level’ or ‘breakthroughs’ in the moment – in most schools of Buddhism they teach ‘teaching’ almost from the start, as they consider it to be a classic ‘speed up’ method, the cycle of knowledge. That is why people like me PUT THE EFFORT INTO IT, and the HIGHER THE STUDENTS GIFT, THE MORE BENEFIT THERE IS TO THE TEACHER (if they progress), because the ‘connection’ that forms is a two-way street, where the energy put into the student cycles back to the Teacher with ‘interest’, while it costs the student nothing. Yep – Teachers actually NEED STUDENTS, AND GOOD STUDENTS TOO.
NOW A CLEAR OVERVIEW OF THE LEFT-HAND PATH TEACHING MECHANISM HAS HELPED MANY STUDENTS IN THE PAST RECOGNISE AND VALUE THEMSELVES, THEREFORE THEY VALUE THE TRAINING MORE THAN THEIR BLOCKS AND PARASITES. So please read the below with an open mind, as it will click with some of you and, all by itself, convince some of the more extreme holdouts that they have made the mistake of thinking this stuff is a cure for mental illness – this stuff is your CHANCE to be MORE, much as it will also stop your DECLINE into LESS…
So… understand there is a ‘method to my madness’, to all these efforts so to speak, much as most of that value goes to the student at the start of development, and any strong connection can be very draining on even a strong teacher, which is all wasted if they fail. It is not parasitic as other relationships of this type are, like mass Attention which all goes to the teacher, but the reason most teachers don’t say this is that in our quid pro quo world some folks equate it with payment, like we are charging you for a lesson or asking you to pray for us as the Pope does.
In Normal life Connection is best described as an energetic pipe or wire that flows both ways, usually happens naturally and often takes quite a long time to set up but can be helped along by a strong interest in the person for some reason, indeed desire for more of that feeling of connection can actually start that connection to happen at a low level even when the circumstances don’t support it, when it’s unnatural, much as those type of forced connections don’t last. However, between Gifted folks there is a further, much more powerful energetic mechanism that FORCES CONNECTION NATURALLY, best called ‘Resonance’, that sets up a Connection VERY quickly and permanently when the student is a very strong MATCH for the teacher at an Essence level – the student ‘resonates’ to the energy of the teacher, which they often feel very strongly at first meeting. A good test for the energetic strength of a connection set up via Resonance is that you remember your first meeting very clearly, but if you don’t remember when and how you first met it is likely the connection just grew organically, naturally through proximity/interest or unnaturally through desire for more connection say.
Now, long story short just for this post – ‘Resonance’ IS A VERY BIG TOPIC on the 4th way, because many of the more educated students specifically choose this path because of the potential for it – Resonance between Teacher and Student has the potential to develop the student VERY QUICKLY, with little effort in a short time, which everyone wants. Resonance ONLY really benefits the Student and is extremely powerful in the right circumstance, but can be so powerful as to damage the teacher and requires both close proximity and a certain degree of open, emotional intimacy to work. With this mechanism, the student literally ‘bathes’ in the energy of the teacher which can achieve a whole range of positive changes in a short period of time with little effort required from the student. It is obviously irrelevant to this ‘distance learning’ approach of ‘reading’ posts but its useful to know that most ‘ancient’ teaching stories are based on this mechanism, for example it is a key mechanism of all the ‘sudden enlightenment’ Zen fables, given the student has already prepared themselves effectively, in a one-to-one meeting the teacher can temporarily force the jump in level required through resonance which allows the student to ‘breakthrough’. Just be clear that Resonance leads to a very strong connection, Connection does not lead to Resonance later – the Essence of the student is a ‘match’ for the Teacher or it is NOT, Resonance in itself can NEVER BE FORCED, it is there or it is not, IT IS FIXED BY YOUR GIFT AND THAT CAN NOT CHANGE.
Know that people like me TAKE POWERFULL RESONANCE EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY AS A SIGN THAT THE STUDENT IS HIGHLY GIFTED AND HAS HUGE POTENTIAL. In times past educated students would use this feeling as a method of choosing a teacher, but these days no one understands this and teachers, like me particularly, seek out this level of student in order to avoid wasting too much time and energy, as it enables the set up of a very good and powerful connection almost straight away, which goes a long way to offset the other problems of teaching Hedonists, who have to be convinced to try at all. To be clear, the use of the connection that forms is a CONSTANT, beneficial 2-way cycle that refreshes us both as long as that connection works effectively and the student improves so the connection improves – the best way to think of it is I get back my investment in you plus interest, while you benefit from a huge boost to both your emotional and conscious level, at an inverse power ratio relative to the difference in our levels. The higher you already are, better it works, even with no teaching at all the effect of the highly gifted on someone close to their own gifted level can be STRONG, to the point we look to see how affected by our presence and proximity you are as a test. This benefit costs the student nothing as it does not come from them, it comes from cycling the knowledge round, the teacher benefits by the act of teaching ‘successfully’, you cannot benefit me directly until you are at my level. So most teachers only ever go for the well-developed, educated and VERY MOTIVATED candidates, the best chance, as if the teacher fails all the time it is a huge drain on them which stops their own development, so most teachers avoid extreme types like Hedonists, much as they are usually the most gifted and often partially developed via unschooled Catharsis, BUT their odds are too long and they cost too much energy.
Yep… student choice is a VERY BIG DEAL for us. Starting to see why things are the way they are now, why we wait patiently for a long while and then push folks like you to engage…?
Get this – THE WORLD IS FULL OF DELUSIONAL FREAKS WHO SEE DEAD PEOPLE, NEW AGERS, GOD SQUAD TYPES who are desperate for a teacher BUT IN REALITY HAVE NO GIFT OR UNDERSTANDING AT ALL. There are literally hundreds of thousands of them these days and they waste everyone’s time, so the selection of good, high-value students that suit the teacher’s style is both difficult but essential to our own development, so has to managed as a process long term. Certain old school teaching approaches take your continued progress so seriously that if you fail just a few tests you are gone because you are not worth any further investment after failing to cycle back what energy you have already had, so know GOOD students have REAL value but can quickly start to be a drain on the teachers own development if they don’t TRY, and the higher the Gift, the higher that drain. I take the ancient approach of just selecting the BEST, no huge groups or classrooms or camp followers – I’m not a Guru (we hate Gurus here, many of them are just gifted parasites who feed on attention…).
A little teacher secret for you, the one behind the level of effort I’m putting into this post that may make some of you smile – Highly gifted folks tend to have BAD blocks by definition, as those blocks are a creation of your unschooled Gift, that level of block is directly related to YOUR Level of Gift. It is the unschooled bit that is defeating you, the high level of your blocks is actually a very good, if difficult sign, as you are probably a way better candidate than many people who want to start by themselves, out of petty fear or petty self-interest. Yep, hating ‘normal’ spirituality at the start often means your intuitive ‘sense of connection’ is rejecting it as ‘fake’, ‘untrue’, which is a VERY good sign you are unschooled gifted, much as that mechanism becomes corrupted by your patterns later, and you generalize too much based on the past.
Obviously, it makes it much easier for hesitant Gifted to start when they KNOW THEY ARE VALUED FOR THEMSELVES, so we are very open about this, much as it is the ‘REAL YOU’ we value, the old you is a ‘work in progress’, buts that fine – same for everyone at the start. The process at the start can almost be imperceptible and tends to hit like a form of ‘talking therapy’ with a wiser/older friend at first, but in truth, my approach to teaching requires bravery and familiarity that leads to high levels of trust, confidence and effort from the student, and once they have given the teacher permission to start, they can then say and do what they like and I will manage it, pace it, accept it, its a ‘safe space’, nothing leaves the ‘room’. It is a commitment we make to you that you are expected to honor, we are not playing anymore. It is useful to keep in mind that the REAL start, however, happens when the ‘connection’ forms between the ‘gifts’, which is often way before the teaching starts, and often happens instantly on the first meeting with the teacher for the highly gifted. If it’s strong enough it will never, ever go, even if you never start the teaching properly, so a decent teacher has to manage it until you are ready.
The core of teaching Hedonists at the start is obviously the need to be ‘protected from yourself’, and that requires a massive level of Trust, which is much HARDER to come by than the connection itself, for most people who are not yet dominated by their need for a sense of connection and therefore ‘trust in that sense of connection’ – everything becomes about trust, confidence as most modern people need to relate, understand emotionally ‘why’ they should ‘risk’ that. No, there is no ‘confession’ (we leave that for the Catholics much as later on you will actually want to do it as a form of ‘bragging’ to minimize your frustration when stuck), there is no understanding of ‘what happened to you in childhood’, (that is actual psychotherapy and goes nowhere), there is just the formation of the TRUST that this ‘feels very right for you’, as that is a key signature of the correct level of open connection. So be clear, all of this takes a huge amount of energy and skill, so YOU need to be able for it, however high your ‘value’ may be in the future, so you might want to try a little harder to be ‘trustworthy’, and particularly put the effort into understanding you are BLOCKED.
So…. there comes a time when the BIG, LAYERED BLOCKS you have to this openness have to be PUSHED through, particularly gifted stuff you have never told anyone, have to be nicely ‘forced’ in a formulaic way so you can get past the terror you feel at being OPEN and honest, and get to the huge sense of RELIEF on the other side – method for that is different for everyone but it is always explained in advance, no BIG shocks for that as I really fucking hated it when big shocks were used on me at the start, even though I was a much harder bastard than you are. See, it can be unpleasant for the teacher until the student stops resisting the training because you have NO TRUST IN THE CONNECTION BETWEEN YOU, which chokes off the power of that ‘connection’ to help you, and you don’t want that – in this system the student must ‘borrow’ the strength of the teacher at the start to get any level of understanding, so you are going to need me to trust you too, trust that you are worth the effort. This issue, the need for you to ‘grow up a bit’, for your GIFT to mature, to ‘play nice’, is why harsher, often Asian ‘old school’ teachers STILL use big shocks at the start, they don’t like to hang around, sort of ‘a right of passage’ approach they used in the ancient Mystery Schools’ (and still fake in Freemasonry to this day). But its too hard for fragile modern folks, however R’n’R you think you were/are, you’re just a child in our world.
Can take some time, so folks like me tend to let the ‘connection’ form first via Resonance or more usually casual contact if possible as that proves that you are a match for the teacher, and it’s also a very useful way to tell when you are ready to start. At the start the whole ‘meeting room vibe’ can feel like the teacher is ‘… who god sends to save you from yourself when all hope for your dumb ass has gone…’ which you resent, but its really not like that, those are just your patterns reacting, not mine – the only person who can save little you is REAL YOU, indeed its your fucking ‘one-job’ in this life, why your life has gone this way. So its all about your BLOCKS and your PARASITES, at the start, we can’t start to DEVELOP you until you get some help with those, understand that – they cannot be left in place while you treat this as a hobby, however much you would prefer that because you don’t trust me, YET. So don’t underestimate how long the ‘trust thing’ can take, AND just how quickly development will go after you have ‘found it’, BUT YOU MUST BRAVE ENOUGH AT THE START TO GO LOOKING FOR IT, as teachers like me take that as a sign you may actually be ‘worth it’ – no one else knows how you feel, only you do. Finally, personal teaching is my preference, one-to-one, but groups of 3 is long recognized as the correct size, given you can find 3 who are well matched themselves to help each other, the ‘family’ approach, and also makes it much kinder to them when the teacher has to go. But the prize is WORTH IT, given you are ‘worth it’ of course, which you need to ‘prove’, even if that is just by getting passed your blocks sufficiently ‘TO ASK’, AS A FORM OF GIVING PERMISSION TO THE TEACHER TO HELP YOU, as I’ll never do a damn thing for you otherwise – those are the RULES.
Obviously, we cannot do this as an interactive one-to-one here, but the practice at the end of this post is a version of removing your blocks to starting and will work to a lesser degree on weakening your blocks to TRUST, just as long as your level is high enough in the moment… and that is the KEY POINT. So….. what you are about to read is the generalized approach of the FULL one-to-one version of this, AS I’M GOING TO TRY AND DO THIS REMOTELY, IN THIS POST, WITH THE LEVEL JUMP, I going to use it in the same way as an ancient ‘Yantra’, as a machine for rapid development, just without all the bloody triangles… Excited?
So this is the ‘Special bit’ – this POST is written as a ‘Thought Machine’, designed to deliver a result, a change in your Level of Being via shocking you enough as you read it to be ABLE to START. YES, it’s VERY BLOODY ambitious to say the least, but it’s done in the identical style of the one-to-one teaching most suited to this issue, the most powerful Triad of forces I can use, so I know it can work – 1st: you must accept that your ‘not wanting to change’ attitude is just being so badly blocked that you are too weak and stupid to get past it, illustrating how those bad blocks work; 2nd: I must show you how to Shock yourself enough via the ‘Shame’ of ‘seeing yourself as others see you’ in order to raise your level by triggering a MINOR Catharsis moment IN YOU; 3rd: I must explain and give you the easiest possible way to Start, the simple process of Mood Management, so you take it seriously, value it and therefore don’t forget it.
Yep, as part of this ‘process’ we are going to run the famous Gifted ‘Shame Test’ on you, so you can catch a glimpse of the ‘real you’, should you have one, should you actually have a Conscience…Excited?
‘HA!’I hear you wail… ‘SHAME, are you fucking kidding me, you want me to FEEL SHAME in order to make it EASY TO START!?’ Nope.. I don’t ‘want’ you to feel it, YOU DO ANYWAY – see this is the clever bit – if (and only IF) you are a Gifted Hedonist I GUARANTEE YOU HAVE ALREADY FELT SHAME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU HAVE DONE, you are hardwired that way as ONLY Gifted folks have a Conscience, end of story. SHAME is a CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION THAT WILL HAVE INTERVENED TO JUDGE ANIMAL YOU, TO SCOLD YOU FOR DAMAGING YOURSELF, no matter how quickly you repressed it, often over and over again.
Animals don’t feel shame OUT OF THE BLUE, in their quiet reflective moments, intense Shame does not just ‘come over them’ for no reason, what they feel is the fake shame of being caught, which is actually intense embarrassment, or the intense fear of being caught in the future, they NEVER feel anything negative without that external intervention, indeed they are thrilled they ‘got away with it’, as that makes them ‘clever’, and most animals or parasites are OBSESSED with feeling clever. Gifted usually feel Shame even when they ‘got away with it’, when they are totally safe and nothing happened at all BUT SOMETHING causes you to SEE YOURSELF with the eyes of the other, REAL you, a ‘trigger’ you are usually unaware of that causes you to ‘catch yourself’ in a totally different Mood and scream. Not everytime, no, and less and less as you get older, as you decline, but often enough that you hopefully remember it, but know these Feeling Shame episodes are always triggered by something, that up til now you have been blind too…
See SHAME actually IS what your ‘Gods’ send to save your dumb ass from yourself… not me, not your partner, family, friends, or another creepy parasite sliding into your DM’s… But that is not all of it… see the other BIG reasons we use Shame is that you NEED to transform it as a matter of urgency IF its a BIG part of you, as either you will have Repressed Shame, which has a BAD habit of sticking to you and repeating, while you care about it less and less, which tends to cause a VERY high personal valuation and a tendency to need extremes of behavior to feel anything, so can be dangerous to people around you, eg these folks TEND TO BECOME GIFTED PARASITES FAST… OR you LIVE in a state of semi-constant Shame, which causes a VERY low valuation of yourself that you ‘accept’ as normal, so can be dangerous to ‘yourself’, eg you attract parasitic situations like a magnet, INDEED YOUR ARE ATTRACTED TO ALL SELF DESTRUCTIVE, ‘LOST SOUL’ STYLES OF HEDONISM… UNTIL you transform it. Of course, there are other types of Conscience level emotion that lead to Hedonism (much as ALL GIFTED feel Shame it is not always THE gateway), but I’ll spare you mine for now as its a particularly supernatural little trip, however it is important to note that time and distance tend to make you forget you own personal gateway – you wake up one day with these very compelling negative patterns, a ridiculous valuation of yourself that NO ONE understands and no clue what is behind them – always try and remember if you can as it makes it easier to remove and you will avoid becoming a parasite yourself, which is a terrible, pathetic and lonely fate THAT ALWAYS ENDS BADLY.
For now just know there are really good reasons to USE WHATEVER LEVEL OF SHAME YOU HAVE FOR THIS, not least that lessening ANY Shame tends to get you to your sweet spot for development very quickly – your Egoic patterns lose much of their hold over at that point. For the extremes, the Repressed Shame type is very easy to develop at the start but impossible later, as these folks skip through the desperate stage whilst actually thinking ‘its cool’, and then hit the signature, delusional stage VERY hard, they become TOXIC, repulsive on every level and often repeat ‘Gifted Parasites’ – have no pity for them. However, if your shame is a well-trodden path, then smile and know that is the GOLD STANDARD FOR HIGHLY GIFTED HEDONISM, you are one of us now and we have your ‘back’, we understand, no need to explain – this is about going forward, not back, so give this a try while you still can much as you will probably need some help with your many ‘situations’. Most GIFTED HEDONISTS will NOT fall into either of these categories, your gateways into the Hedonistic lifestyles will be about some harsh or accidental event, some level of supernatural experience, or surviving something that others did not, even just having weird ass parents or a bizarre upbringing, but you will be surprised just how many folks journey take these routes, way more than you think, and I have helped some of them. Just remember, as I make a BIG point of saying every single post – when you become desperate it is over for development, so seek professional, medical help asap, much as I know it is highly unlikely you have read even this far, if you read at all…
Lastly in this bit I need to make this VERY clear, much as I have covered this many times before – you can’t develop with serious Parasitic problems, they have to go – THE REASON GIFTED FOLKS HAVE PARASITES IS SPIRITUAL, that is why they are addicted to you, why they are draining you of your potential. Think of it as a ‘Rights of Passage’, when you finally kinda grow up – we have all had to do it at some time, so don’t be shy, see it as part of the process, as the START of your development. Just know you need to ACT, as it is your BLOCKS that keep you in the illusion of being trapped by them, so wake up, REINVENT YOURSELF, KNOW ‘YOU ARE NOT THEM’. Yes, I know.. many of you did not have the same upbringing as me and FEEL VERY TRAPPED by your parasites, YOU ARE SCARED, so at the end of this post I’ll write more about how to deal with Gifted Parasites, some additional help and suggestions for getting shot of them, SO DO READ IT AS IT WILL HELP YOU TO ACT – Parasites, particularly GIFTED PARASITES, NEVER GO AWAY BY THEMSELVES, you cannot believe them or reason with them, you have to ACT AGAINST THEM. And its easy really, once you face this fact, face your fear, because frankly, soon as you do find your inner Bitch or Bastard, most of them just run off screaming like the middle-class little wankers they are…
JUST DO SOMETHING, SITTING THERE WORRYING NEVER FIXED SHIT, and it’s a lifetime of ‘shame’ if you go on with it – Parasites ALWAYS attract more Parasites, every time you backslide you make it worse next time, as they won’t believe you, just laugh and do it more…
Lastly, in all honestly, if you have never felt anything like Shame without being ‘caught’ THEN STOP READING THIS NOW…
Now, feeling pumped for the rest of this yet? Great… cause here we go with the 2nd bit of preparation… I need to temporarily change your attitude to this stuff, so you VALUE IT MORE…
To do this 3 step process effectively you must understand 3 things very clearly, otherwise, you will react against it negatively, feel we are just trying to hurt your ‘feelings’ by ‘shaming’ you, INSTEAD OF UNDERSTANDING WE ARE USING SHAME AS A CATHARSIS TRIGGER TO DEVELOP YOU AS A PROCESS – TO ACTUALLY FEEL THAT SHAME ‘SIZZLE’, ‘FROST’ YOU, ‘CRYSTALIZE’ ON YOU. You must be open to this PROCESS, positive toward it, indeed in this written style you MUST be actively looking for it, not repressing it, you must ‘help me to help you’ (Sorry Ludacris…) via being ‘keen’ to do this, OK? This is ‘spirituality for gifted hedonists’, it only really works in this style IF YOU ARE A GIFTED HEDONIST, that you have ALREADY STARTED TO DEVELOP YOURSELF VIA THE USE OF HEDONISTIC CATHARSIS TRIGGERS, however unknowingly, that you have already cut these connections in your soul, you have already raised your level of consciousness, via your level of ‘sensation awareness’. See if you are an ‘Individual’ type Hedonist, an ‘Aristo in waiting’ who already focuses on quality, and originality, there is an EXTREMELY GOOD CHANCE YOU ARE GIFTED, rather than the ‘herd’ type hedonist, the folks who need to be part of a group or tribe, the football fan type, who just do the same tedious shit over and over again, because they are animals, they are ‘basic’, they are addicts who ‘clap’ along…
So, before I give you these 3 pointers, PLEASE NOW START TO REMIND YOURSELF CONSTANTLY – YOU ARE GIFTED, YOUR ISSUES ARE ALL PART OF THE UNSCHOOLED GIFTED EXPERIENCE YOU NEED TO MOVE ON FROM. You are not an animal, you are not driven by petty fears and petty self-interest, what you do is just an ‘imitation’ of that, forced on you by your society from childhood. You are not a creature living by ‘kill or be killed’, by the need to be part of a tribe before you even know what you fucking think, by the need for ‘power over others’ as your goal in life, but that is all animals understand. You are capable of ‘connection’, of ‘catharsis, of raising your level of consciousness, of the higher emotional subtleties, animals are not, they are not YOU – 90% of your problems in your life come from the expectation that the animals will understand the feeling behind your words and actions, but they don’t, they think you are a benefit to use or a threat to be scared off. Animals are hard-wired that way, it is not their fault but it is YOUR problem, see they don’t even know what ART, TASTE, CLASS, STYLE, or INDIVIDUALITY are, they have no appreciation, but you DO, SO DON’T COPY THEM, FIND YOUR TRUE FEELINGS.
See, ‘…whatever you DO to live, drive and survive, there are still some things that make (the gifted) all the same…’ (Sorry Ellwood…). But no matter, I’ve said the following things over and over on this Blog, so here they are again, super clear…
So first – WE ARE NOT BLAMING YOU, there is no fucking blame in being a Hedonist you fool, that blame is THE societal pattern of ‘moral judgement’ that YOU have and that is blaming ‘all of us’ – WE don’t give a shit about that, hell even the top of YOUR society don’t care, moral patterns are for controlling animals, the herd who would otherwise kill you all, stupid. What WE are judging you on is the continued ABUSE of Hedonism that is destroying your GIFT, and your failure to DEAL WITH THE PARASITES HEDONISM ATTRACTS. The only thing we care about is STOPPING your head-long destruction of your ability to develop, which eventually destroys ‘you’, as most highly gifted folks latch so strongly onto their Gift they ‘realize it’, become it, in an everyday sense, so its decline is your decline. Be clear… many of you WILL NEED THE SAME HEDONISTIC PATTERNS YOU ALREADY HAVE TO DEVELOP YOURSELF LATER, to use sensation to trigger catharsis, just way better versions of them that build you UP, not tear you apart. This SYSTEM IS ONLY FOR HEDONISTS, I need you to have earned your Hedonistic badges, your stripes, to know what the fuck I’m talking about BEFORE YOU START.
Second – THERE IS A SWEET SPOT IN YOUR LIFE THAT IS YOUR BEST CHANCE, indeed for many of you its YOUR ONLY CHANCE. See your gift must decline enough so that you ‘see it’ decline, both so you can relate to it personally AND that its grip on your EGOIC self-destructive patterns is loosened. All decent teachers know this, know that the time has to be right for you, and wait for that moment, wait for you to ‘mature’ in the many different senses of that word. Before that time you won’t listen, after that time you will be too far gone, even if you find another way to step off your crazy train. Because of this, all decent teachers TEST you, often quite a lot, just to see how ‘ripe’ you are for this, and will on occasion change things to help get you there or slow you down, to try and lengthen that phase of your life when you are both ‘ready’ and ‘able’ to develop. I do this a lot, indeed that is what this post is… Just know that I CAN NOT START FOR YOU, the effort, the honesty, the clarity, the focus ALL has to be in you, not me, I don’t manipulate folks into starting, I just tell them the truth, and there is a HELL OF ALOT OF TRUTH IN THIS POST. I won’t always be here to help you, NO ONE will, you must connect to this process and take it on personally, it’s not a HOBBY, its EVERYTHING – you cannot rely on anybody HELPING YOU, so when decent, educated, experienced, skilled help does come along BEST JUMP ON IT, for however long it lasts…
Third – NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE WRONG IS YOUR FAULT, indeed your patterns make your life INEVITABLE unless you CHANGE and DO things differently which REQUIRES EXTERNAL SUPPORT AND OPPORTUNITY – YOU LIFE IS ONE BIG CRY FOR HELP SO FAR, YOU CAN NEVER START THIS YOURSELF, EVER. But it is more even than that, see everything you have done up to now is actually REQUIRED TO GET YOU HERE, your real Hero’s journey – EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED WAS NECESSARY. Yes, you did not know any of this before, and it would of been pointless to tell you back then, so we have to get you HERE, to this point right now in a reasonable state to develop yourself, even if for some of you that means starting the prep YEARS AGO. This is a journey, not a sprint, another cheap thrill, in reality the whole life of HIGHLY Gifted folks becomes about developing themselves from childhood, just KNOW that if you are reading this the TIME TO TAKE DEVELOPMENT SERIOUSLY HAS COME.
GET THIS, READ THE ABOVE AGAIN UNTIL YOU DO GET IT PLEASE – ALL OF THIS IS BEING DONE TO BENEFIT YOU. We don’t hate you, we don’t think you are pathetic, we are not jealous, we are not sniffy about it or kind out of pity, we are not possessive, we are not judging you MORALLY, legally, medically… we save that for the animals. ‘You’ are something special, Hell a couple of you are pretty damn impressive from what I have seen, your marks for Artistic Impression would be quite high, so I compliment you on both the strength and resilience of your gift, just NOT the weakness and stupidity of your self-destructive EGO, we need to straighten out those kinks. Please believe GIFTED you is already on ‘its’ own journey, you just need to catch the fuck up, and take some control before it’s too late. Yes, of course you have to deal harshly with the parasites BEFORE YOU CAN START, we do that and so should you, SO GET ON WITH IT, BUT there is no reason for YOU to be scared, or worried about what you have done, right now you just need to GROW THE FUCK UP and ‘use it’ – TEMPUS FUGIT. This is ABOUT ‘WHAT’ YOU ARE, NOT ‘WHO’ YOU HAVE BECOME… OK?
Lastly, before we start the x3 Forces we have the 3rd bit of preparation – what Knowledge and Patterns are on this path, so you have a chance of starting to understand this stuff CORRECTLY.
So… please understand this – you need a bigger ‘understanding’ of what ‘personal knowledge of yourself’ is, a more complete picture of the whole, before you can make real progress, which you can ONLY get by understanding what REAL knowledge is in principle and how it works day to day. We need to start by teaching you the knowledge of ‘knowledge itself’.
Initially, the best way to think of this is the difference between REMEMBERED KNOWLEDGE and UNREMEMBERED PATTERNS – HOW YOU REMEMBER STUFF IS THE KEY TO THIS, as isolated little facts divided into countless pigeonholes ARE BAD, but complete memory pictures divided on levels of ‘scale’ of the whole thing ARE USEFUL KNOWLEDGE. Very simply knowledge of the whole is something you remember to be True and that you can relate to yourself INTUITIVELY. But your existing Patterns of thought and perception are something that uses facts, little bits of isolated knowledge, that it then manipulates and brings into your mind at certain circumstances with certain triggers in ISOLATION, as your mind works in a HABITUAL pattern matching way – you don’t really REASON in your current state (unless someone was kind enough to train you in Greek Logic), you PATTERN match by linking patterns of tiny things together in an automatic fashion. This is one of the reasons it is VERY HARD FOR YOU TO CHANGE, as you obviously have a tendency to round and round in circles because Patterns are UNCONCIOUS, so you can’t see them, you can only see what they DO – you just think it is YOU thinking… but it’s not. You must LOOK AT WHAT YOU DO/THINK/FEEL/SAY automatically in response, to see your patterns.
So change of Knowledge, improving it requires a higher level of understanding and is initially about understanding your tendency to do EVERYTHING as a set pattern, that you are stuck in because you don’t know it exists – you think you have the free will to do anything at any time, but you don’t as the way patterns work as a time sequence of thoughts precludes just about every other option other than the next one in the pattern, or the sum of the ones when patterns cross over. You are what the Russian 4th wayers refer to as a MACHINE THAT CAN ONLY REACT DIFFERENTLY TO NEW THINGS, and you lack the conscious level to see that, to catch yourself doing that when you talk or act or think or express negative emotions in the same old way, for the same old reasons. You don’t even really notice yourself unless you can train yourself to realize that every time you get bored or irritated either with yourself or with others it is because of how horribly unpleasant living automatically is, and how much you hate it when you feel trapped in that machine or others are even more of a machine than you are. See for a moment it has become so oppressive that you feel this BORED STATE so intensely because your patterns are in total control and you FUCKING HATE IT, as you feel trapped, hence irritated, you just don’t know why…
So we must get you to understand something simple before you try and add more knowledge to yourself – ALL REAL CHANGE HAS TO BE FORCED ON YOU FROM OUTSIDE, usually by you following an external discipline LIKE THIS POST, you can never do it yourself AS YOU DON’T HAVE THE PATTERNS. If you try and change yourself you will use the WRONG PATTERNS. So just for now in this section you need to see this very simply and try and remember this: The Patterns you have available to you in the moment are dominated by the MOOD YOU ARE IN, in terms of the choice, the suitability and your ability to see them through; you cannot change an instance of any activity without changing the whole pattern associated with it, patterns are too powerful so you will simply backslide; when you change one complete pattern, you will change MANY other things in your life for the better, as the same patterns often do MULTIPLE jobs, often appearing to you to be totally disconnected; you will often use the wrong pattern for jobs better suited to a different one you already possess simply because you are in the wrong MOOD, and patterns are balanced by the need to fit into your current model of you, so if you change one you may find that others become more pronounced in order to compensate for it, you will do other things, that perhaps you want to do, much more. Yep working with Patterns is complicated because your patterns are who you ARE, moment to moment at a low level of ‘animal’ consciousness – this is the actual definition of an animal in our world.
Patterns are a blessing and curse because of these factors, but the greatest strength of them is to KNOW THEY ARE THERE, and KNOW HOW TO CHANGE THEM TO SUIT YOUR ‘GOALS’. See Gifted folk can change their patterns by constructing a different Attitude to something and remembering it as a point of principle, AS A GOAL, and at the beginning thats an attitude that gets you to NOTICE WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS AND THEN STOP THE AUTOMATIC REACTION IN YOURSELF JUST BEFORE YOU ACT IT OUT, because you have the power to that – you basically set a trap for your automatic anger or irritation in these set circumstances and then go ‘NO’, not today bitch, and stop doing anything for a moment. Don’t try and do something else when you see this, as you will find your mind contains only automatic option 1 or BLANK, patterns are that powerful, but later you will start to have some VERY slowly evolving alternatives. Animals can’t EVER do that, even if they know this and try, they are doomed to spin round and round on the same spot forever, round their patterns. So don’t be an animal… HAVE GOALS, see goals are a form of basic ‘mind magic’, goals work for you in the back of your mind 24/7, churning away, looking for a way forward, EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THEM.
So understand this clearly – the way the clever folks of this world use their Patterns to benefit themselves is to ALWAYS step back and HAVE A GOAL (in increasingly small things over time), FORMED IN A POSITIVE, EMOTIONAL MOOD and then let your patterns either sort themselves out to achieve it unconsciously for you, slowly, OR force the patterns through the x3 force process I have taught you an early version of before, do it consciously, quickly. YOU MUST FORM THOSE GOALS SEPARATE TO THE ACTIVITY, so it is separate from the same old crap your patterns do, and STICK TO THAT GOAL, taking any opportunity your patterns present to you to get closer and achieve it – even if it looks strange, your patterns are doing the best they can the only way they know how to achieve it for you, so GET THE MESSAGE. Indeed, starting to order your animal self around prior to activity (and so prior to your patterns getting involved and fucking it up) in small quick things (eg ‘Name’ – ‘go to bed now’) is one of the ways many Gifted folks get ‘into’ development at a basic, everyday level, much as it takes a little bit of practice to find the right ‘voice’ to use in your head, so give it a go, its a very easy way to develop Deputy Steward at the start. If you can set an attitude in advance to always HAVE A GOAL, you will quickly find that goal-orientated thinking is very different from the rest of pattern-match thinking, as YOU have a point, while otherwise, your patterns are just making it up for ‘you’…
See, having a clear, positive and emotional GOAL prior to starting any activity or process is the beginning of REAL YOU ordering ANIMAL YOU about and then sitting back and watching your animal servant deliver it, because the REAL YOU is not the animal you. You must get that ‘You’ Ride On The Back of Your Animal self, which is what all those 4th way Chivalric fairy tales are actually trying to tell you, even the Knights Templar themselves – they want you to be the ‘Knight on Horseback’, that is the WHOLE POINT. Then one day maybe we can get you to the standard of ‘St George and the Dragon’ himself, but I digress…
As you evolve via this process, your patterns change over time and with repeat practice of the new activity driven by a higher emotional GOAL you develop new patterns, often replacing the old crap. You must rise above your OLD PATTERNS BY SETTING GOALS and then understand how your old patterns are trying to get you there, INSTEAD OF CONFUSING YOUR EXISTING PROCESS PATTERNS WITH THAT GOAL, which are wrong for DEVELOPMENT. Be clear a GOAL is NOT A PROCESS OF ACHIEVING THAT GOAL, trying to use the wrong, existing process patterns to achieve new goals, like Development, damns 90% of folks who want to start to total failure, BUT IT’S EASY TO AVOID IF YOU JUST KNOW HOW IT WORKS. This post is totally based on this single concept, using a generic x3 Force process to GET YOU THERE consciously, whilst providing a multitude of ways into getting the Knowledge you need to RELATE TO THIS PERSONALLY in order to SEE THAT. OK?
So, the next big use of Pattern change is to change the one you ‘think’ with for this Post, to understand that you need to RELATE to knowledge in this post PERSONALLY, for it to be REAL knowledge. Therefore I have to write these FORCES in a circular fashion, covering the same information from multiple angles in a way that FORCES YOU to build a bigger picture in your mind of the WHOLE THING from lots of individual details, rather than present it in a Text Book fashion as a series of statements of fact. See FACTs, ‘words’ presented to you as facts are NOT KNOWLEDGE, I need you to get a bigger picture of Blocks/Moods/Attitudes/Roles/Patterns that you can catch some aspect of yourself ‘IN’ – you can relate to it and then connect it together. Facts are JUST TINY DETAILS, they are pictures of ‘leaves’ in a book, I need you to understand more of the whole Tree by standing in front of it and seeing it as a whole, living thing, otherwise, you will forget it as it is not REAL for you, it has not ‘clicked’.
You only have Knowledge about anything when you know how it ‘all fits together into the whole’ as that causes the ‘click’ in your mind, the ‘aha’ moment when you ‘get’ how it fits together.. get it? Tiny partial details that were used on you at school just lead to tiny partial levels of understanding, and that is no use at all. Indeed it fools you into thinking you know things when you simply remember facts you have learned by heart – that’s not knowledge, that’s just the memory of details you cannot relate together so you can’t use them, which is the curse of the modern world. This shit type of learning is just Opinions, where you simply remember what a teacher told you about ‘gravity’ and therefore believe you/science knows all about it BUT the truth is that NO ONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS WHAT GRAVITY IS, you have simply learned the current mathematical model for it, which DOES NOT EXPLAIN WHAT GRAVITY IS, IT IS JUST A CLOSE APPROXIMATION OF HOW GRAVITY WORKS, and those models are only true for a set scale, eg Einsteins for Space, Newtons for the surface of the earth etc.
Try not to forget this when you struggle with the next bit – you need to understand what this means FOR YOU. You must build this UNDERSTANDING by taking any and all of the little details below that ‘hit’ and linking them together so you can start to see the whole thing. Be clear – real knowledge of a leaf NEEDS knowledge of the Tree because the leaf does not exist without the Tree, it shrivels and dies, turns brown and then to dust, and THAT IS NOT A LEAF, it is a partial, badly remembered ‘memory of what a leaf looked like’, nothing more, which is the vast majority of ALL your current understanding. To have REAL knowledge of a leaf you have to SEE IT ON THE TREE, LIVING, MOVING, ACTING as it is supposed to do, then you can realize the whole purpose of that leaf, not just as a lump of green matter than is already dead and falling apart in your hand. All your current knowledge is MOST LIKELY JUST PICTURES OF FACTS, but in our world you must build your knowledge of the tree by building back from the details – you relate the facts on this Blog to yourself and link them together in your own mind, as sadly you don’t have the power to ‘see’ the whole Tree of how your psyche works right now.
Therefore I must give you loads of details and get you to try and link them together, to realize they link together, which is totally dependent on how much of your Gift has been Realised as your Being, as that is your power to SEE IT. Without this work, this effort from you all of this is just more facts you don’t realize, word forms you are memorizing instead of ‘knowing’ them, so you can both ‘remember them together (remember all the Tree when you think of the leaves) and use then to do more of the same knowledge building later, when you need to see how the Tree fits into the Real Landscape. Read the below with this idea of details hitting, making sense to you AND to see how they relate together FOR YOU, particularly when I am more or less vague about them, as its a test of your own ability to relate this to yourself, BUT not logically, not as a memory test, as that won’t help you UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE TREE, your (very) basic use of logic is just a set of pigeon holes to put isolated facts in and then forget about, you are dividing things, not combining them. As soon as you think a detail has hit you, you know what it means to you, keep it in mind when you read the rest of this as it will act as a fishing hook to snag other similar facts that you can also realise, based on what you ALREADY KNOW. If you don’t do this you will simply try and memorize the information below which will be impossible AS I HAVE SPECIFICALLY WRITTEN IN A WAY THAT IT HAS TO BE LINKED TOGETHER, it is simply too info dense to be remembered as separate facts, so you cannot DIVIDE it – read it over and over until the hooks start to catch each other and IT COMBINES, I’ve made it easy at the start to get you rolling, BUT YOU CAN NOT DIVIDE IT AND GET ANYWHERE.
So the GOLDEN RULE to relating FACTS to yourself in order to turn them into KNOWLEDGE – TEST THEM SO YOU REALISE WHAT THEY MEAN TO YOU, HOW THAT FACT WORKS FOR YOU PERSONALLY. And there is no better place to start that testing than with UNCONCIOUS BLOCKS – find them based on something you really want to do but simply NEVER DO, get MAD as a point of principle, then PUSH HARD AND DO IT WHATEVER ELSE HAPPENS, what ever tries to stop you, either in or outside yourself. Yes, of course, pick something that has no risk in the moment of doing it, pick something that is quick/easy, like sending a message, and then watch and see what happens, remember how your Blocks play-out, what they typically use to control you, how it feels to GO AGAINST YOURSELF, do it anyway as a point of principle.
One small caveat – if you find spooky shit occurs that is just too much for you then do stop, that’s fine, it can be VERY scary for many folks when external things stop you from doing what you want, stuff breaks etc, just know that most of the time YOUR body is also being used against you to achieve that, it is some form of USER ERROR that means your message did not send, it is still in you. However, if things like the power goes out, or random folks literally contact you out of the blue, your dog suddenly has a fit or barks madly, then you may want to drop me a line, as your Gift maybe already be realized to the extent that your Blocks have ‘grown legs’, and that needs to be managed. Just be sure to watch out for these things in the future, as your blocks tend to do the same shit over and over when they see it works once, as it costs a lot of energy to do multiple things so your Blocks tend to build one or 2 tactics to a high strength and repeat them over and over for similar issues. In this way you will learn how to approach things in a different way to avoid your blocks go-to strategy for stopping you, rather than rerunning the same pointless back and forth every time you do it, which wastes your energy as it actually strengthens your Block for next time – it will try harder after you have beaten it once, it will often combine with other Blocks and take many repeats of beating it before it gives up.
A VERY easy and cheesy Blocking example – when you first spot yourself fidgeting with your pen and slam it down a few times you will start to notice you are doing it almost constantly, x10 more than before, but take it as a good sign you are on the right track, as that means its a powerful UNCONCIOUS BLOCK to something else you should be doing, and needs to be crushed, just maybe hide all your pens, at first. Yep, all unconscious fidgeting is a block to something else you should be doing (primarily by making you forget it), even if you are mostly unaware of what that is, and is VERY powerful when combined with daydreaming and servicing an addiction as it becomes a COMFORTING Block, the worst kind. One of the other good ones to watch out for is if any form of external PARASITE is stopping you do something, particularly if its a group thing, even if they don’t see it themselves, ie they deny it, as IT A VERY BIG TELL THAT YOU ARE POWERFULLY BLOCKED FROM DOING SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU, AT A HIGHLY GIFTED LEVEL. But try anyway, you may surprise yourself and them… so go break some eggs, eh. One of the wonderful things about breaking Blocks in the long term is you find a big energy boost, as the energy used to power those Blocks is ALL YOU, so removing them has a refreshing quality, you sleep better, and you tire less easily just because that energy is not being leeched away every day. Yep, changing one thing that appears to work in isolation often has a big, positive knock-on effect to loads of other crap in your life too, just remember you will need to change your Mood to do any of this consistently, as per the rest of this post.
Lastly – it is good to understand the deadliness of this dividing thing, relate to the damage you do to yourself – dividing all your little facts is the reason you often don’t see huge truths about yourself and other people, about what you actually DO and who that means you ARE every fucking day. You are used to keeping everything separate, which causes you to build up layer upon layer of delusions about yourself BECAUSE IT EASY IF YOU DON’T SEE EVERYTHING TOGETHER, so you DO one ‘nice’ thing occasionally and so your image of yourself as good/cool/clever/funny remains intact as it never meets the truth of what you DO ALL THE TIME, which actually means you are a creepy/disloyal/lying/lazy/stupid dork/skank. You fall into the classic trap of cherry picking facts that suit your situation and then make them real by only remembering those facts, and forgetting all the other contradictory detail, so you ‘forget yourself’, you become a kind of shadow of yourself, just seen from a particular angle in a particular light, that no one else sees… JUST YOU. Everyone else sees the sum total of you, and decides on that basis, DOING one kind thing and then going right back to a freakshow just tells the world you are such a BIG ASS freakshow you THINK YOU CAN LIE TO THEM, YOU THINK THEY ARE STUPID, and are actually fooling yourself this way – you NEED to believe it, but they ARE INSULTED BY YOUR B/S, and therefore treat your friendship accordingly, ie they have NO issue throwing your dumb ass to the wolves, you are a ‘fake’ after all.
Trust me, this ‘forgetting your whole self’ is a BIG ISSUE FOR HEDONISTS WHO FORGET THEMSELVES AS A POINT OF PRINCIPLE, indeed this happens so much in our fake, modern world that it may even be happening to you, right now…
Be clear – in this way YOU BECOME DELUSIONAL – as you NEVER actually see it as THE WHOLE OF YOU, and if someone shows you a video of what you ‘did last night’ you either desperately try and justify it or explain it away as an aberration, instead of REALISING YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO AS THAT BETRAYS WHO YOU ARE, you are the whole of you, not just the bits you like which you choose to remember. Trust me, the WHOLE of you is ALREADY a major part of what everybody else thinks about you, so maybe its time to catch up eh – so put the time in now to start to see some of the basic elements of yourself as a WHOLE, work up it from all the details and bring it together… YOU MUST COMBINE DETAILS TOGETHER TO START TO SEE THE OUTLINE OF THE WHOLE YOU – GOT THAT, but for now we can keep this to the inner you, not the outer you. So don’t worry what everyone else thinks at the moment, find out what YOU REALLY THINK first AND then hold on to it as the beginning of Deputy Steward, reliably, BUT don’t be inconsistent, flakey, or changeable, as that means you are cycling through too many Moods far too often, and you will never achieve anything, long term.
Got this yet?… When you DO development you must FIX YOURSELF ON ONE MOOD – IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE STABLE PRIVATELY FIRST, IN YOUR HEAD, OTHERWISE YOU WILL CONTINUALLY CHANGE YOUR MIND, which means you are still a ‘victim’. You need real Level if you are going to be able to hold the whole of YOURSELF and everything else you pay attention to in your mind, and that’s a way off, BUT an ARISTO CAN hold a much more ‘complete’ perspective of themselves at moments of decision or setting goals, and SHOULD judge what they do against that WHOLE picture, not just the petty moods of the moment. If nothing else know that every time you try and be clever, cunning, everytime you give way to a fleeting animal desire that you barely feel in the first place through habit, know that IT IS NOT A SECRET, EVERYBODY KNOWS AND YOU ARE MAKING A TOOL OF YOURSELF.
So what would you do then, eh?
So here we go… let’s start with your Blocks, and why Moods are SO important to them…
For all of you this post is written for, for all of you who are not already too far gone, HERE IS THAT x3 FORCE MIRACLE YOU NEED TO START, with a VERY detailed explanation of just what it IS, so you don’t FORGET IT. Trust me, for some of you this will work, but it will also benefit even the more extreme cases, hopefully enough to start planning to start – to get some help.
DON’T TRY AND PICK THE ACTUAL FORCES OUT OF THESE SECTIONS, DON’T LOOK FOR THEM, THEY ARE IN YOU, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS READ AND THEY WILL FIND YOU.
1st Force… Let’s start with your Mood and your BLOCKS, shall we…
Now, I know some of you don’t want to START, know that ‘You’ just want to read about yourself, maybe want to know what you ‘could of done’, what you can do in the future, when you will be too wasted to change, to long gone to get anywhere.
Yep, I know – ‘some’ of you really want to TRY, JUST NOT YET, you think you are having too much fun, it’s all FINE THE WAY IT IS, so why to bother, which is all TOTAL BOLLOCKS – you are simply trying to justify your particular ‘block’ to starting by turning it into a decision ‘you’ have made… In reality, the failure to START is always about being too weak (no force to use to go against yourself) and too stupid (not knowing the patterns to use that force) to DO ANYTHING AT THE START, otherwise you would not ‘STILL’ be reading this, would you. Some of you may have already got frustrated enough to lash out like a frustrated child, and so I need to ‘talk you down’ from that little tantrum, don’t I, so the rest of this Post is the ‘answer’… Hope the majority of you don’t mind, (and it’s the same practice anyway), but this one is written just for the Muses, the Villains, the Tortured Souls, the Comfortably Numb… Yep, the rest of you can skip down this post at speed, but for those of you who are still sitting astride that infamous fence, let’s give y’all a bit of a fucking nudge, shall we…
See however much you motivated types DON’T need to read this, for some of you this is the difference between stopping your inevitable and increasingly dramatic decline, even completely fucking yourself, for some even the difference between finally understanding yourself or heading into the very dark and murky waters of self-sabotage, bad faith, addiction, deviousness, petty violence, petty obsession, petty criminality, mental health challenges, danger/risk for its own sake, all kinds of crap really… BUT for others, the stronger cool kids who have already stepped off their express train to oblivion, have secured themselves against their own ‘storm’ with a nice safe relationship/job/cause/children, the issue is simply that some little part of you is literally hoping for that ‘miracle’ to get past their particular blockage – they are so completely BLOCKED that everything seems to conspire against you ever starting, you get VERY nervous, accidents happen, other people intervene even, it gets a bit weird, a bit supernatural, and you are just too weak and too stupid to SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS AND PUSH PAST IT.
See, your society and life choices have made you into a bit of a pussy who always takes the line of least resistance in this life, so you never had to use force to get anything, hell your life happens to you by ‘accident’ over and over again, you don’t even know ‘how to’ DO anything, you don’t have the mental patterns. But for now just know that if you have ever changed your mind because your feelings changed ‘at the time’, or…. become strangely anxious/uncomfortable for no apparent reason so you had to stop, or… you backed away ‘in the moment’ from something you were sure you wanted because ‘it did not feel right’, then this POST IS FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE UNCONCIOUSLY BLOCKED.
So I have to write this post to explain this to you, to explain what being BADLY BLOCKED means…. and how to beat it, to explain that YES, YOU FOOL, you need to START ASAP, much as I know you can’t YET, so then I have to GIVE you a really fucking easy way to START, just for this small minority of often the most highly Gifted who are too weak and too stupid to do this the normal way, who CANNOT GO AGAINST THEMSELVES, YET.
Now, I KNOW, for certain, that if this Blog has found GIFTED you, then you GIFT WANTS YOU TO DEVELOP, TO BECOME, TO REALIZE WHO YOU ARE, otherwise you would simply not be reading it, don’t matter what obscure set of circumstances made you read it, don’t matter that it is actually the result of decisions both made or not made by both YOU and OTHERS from literally years ago, don’t matter that its the combination of a repetitive set of circumstances that clearly show your whole life is running on rails just to get you to this fucking point, that little or nothing else matters, that YOU HAVE ABSOLUTLEY NO CHOICE BUT TO DO THIS… What MATTERS, when you get to the end of this post, is that you have REALISED THAT HAVE TO START NOW AND YOU CAN DO IT THE EASY WAY, so its kinda worth the effort…
Sure, I get it… a small group of you reading this may have always hated spirituality in all its forms, so are SO blocked unconsciously that your patterns will intervene every time you try and start, by unconsciously reaching out and STOPPING YOU AGAINST YOUR REAL DESIRE. Indeed, even after that shock, when you are sure, your blocking patterns will CONTINUE to fight you, and even after you have prepared your plan to start WELL IN ADVANCE, the last ‘desperate’ defense of your patterns, in the moment of starting, is to make it FEEL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, UNNATURAL, in an attempt to distract you from your goal.
You literally have to FORCE YOURSELF THROUGH those feelings, as they are often even worse than just over-powering anxiety, they get a bit supernatural – you shake, get cold sweats, you twitch, you feel sick, all for no physical reason, strange accidents happen, others intervene, you panic. So understand, if this has ever happened, YOU HAVE TO PUSH PAST THAT IN THE MOMENT, because you understand ‘what it is now’, you are ready for it, as for you its the only way. See, in many ways this is a GREAT, IF SOMEWHAT SCARY WAY to realize you are both Highly Gifted and VERY BLOCKED, that all of this is TRUE FOR YOU, so you can trust it, have some valuation of all this as important to you personally, rather than just a ‘hobby’. It makes it real for you, however hard it is at the time…
To be fair this most extreme type usually needs a very good teacher to help, again as I did, to understand this and deal with it, to accept that they are going to be very NERVOUS, and know how to calm your nerves. Frankly, even a decent teacher HAS to wait until you are ready, until you have enough Cathartic Shocks to get you ready, until they trust the teacher enough to give them permission to intervene, as these types of gifted often need MANY attempts, enough BIG hits on the chain that keeps you tied up, keeps them UNDER THE SPELL as the 4th way fairy tales say, BEFORE THEY CAN START, break free, again as I did. Yep, my own experiences of starting are a big part of the reason I really only teach GIFTED HEDONISTS. For this extreme type the rest of this post is mainly about getting ready to start, it won’t be enough by itself, but the rest of you should be able to do it, using this ritual detailed below TO START.
Ok?
So now, know this – MOOD MANAGEMENT ACTUALLY IS THE START OF MANY PEOPLE’S JOURNEY, AS FROM HERE YOU CAN START TO DO EVERYTHING ELSE, YOU WILL BE EQUIPPED TO DO THE FIRST DEVELOPMENT PRACTICE PERSONALLY – THE SECRET OF WALKING, IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND, THE CORRECT MOOD – THE MOOD STATE OF NON-RESISTANCE, NO TENSION.
Mood Control is an essential mechanism for proactively changing yourself spiritually. This process, both how and why you DO IT, is what you have to DO BEFORE EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PRACTISE DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE IT TEMPORARILY INCREASES YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS – WE CHANGE YOUR MOOD STATE BY REMOVING YOUR NEGATIVITY, YOUR TENSION, YOUR LOW LEVEL, TRIVIAL, POINTLESS, BACKGROUND BAD MOODS THAT ARE CONTINUALLY USING YOU UP. In that way, we reset your mind and release as much as we can of it to use on developing yourself…
This first step on the Hedonist’s journey is one that you are already used to, as you try and manage your mood every damn day with low-quality crap – with cheap thrills, animal sex, drugs, music, coffee, food, screens, games, arguments, power, control, fetishes, clothes, makeup, exercise, lying, fantasies. You could say the whole life of a Hedonist is one long sequence of mood-controlling behaviors, that don’t really work, and so progressively become more extreme – you chase sensation in order to change your mood, however temporarily. What we are talking about here is the CORRECT WAY TO MANAGE YOUR MOOD FOR THE GIFTED. Got that..?
Again… you NEED to be able to relate to developing a New Role to do development in, TO PLAY THE ROLE of the ARISTOCRAT, by managing your mood. So I’m going to go round and round it in a specific way to force you to connect it together. But I’m not going to give you the patterns of that Role to learn now, that stuff is a Secret for later and you don’t need them yet, I’m going to give you an explanation and process for changing your Mood, as the basis for that Role, because at the beginning that new Mood is the fucking ROLE.
So we start with the brutal truth – YOU CAN’T START BECAUSE IT’S TOO HARD FOR WEAK AND STUPID YOU, and you are right – its not your fault – YOU ARE A STEREOTYPE, A PRODUCT OF YOUR SOCIETY, YOUR ENVIRONMENT, YOU ARE A SLAVE. So READ this, let us try one last time to get you started eh, let’s try and make it THAT EASY for you…. a quick 1 – 2 punch to get it ‘rolling’…
See ‘YOU’ can’t do this effectively, as you are, right now, so we need someone else to step in and help your dumb ass out, as you can’t change that quickly, and the gap for most of you is just too big to jump, you are just not that BRAVE, are you. SO YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO RELATE TO, AND ACT OUT A NEW ROLE FOR THE TIME YOU ARE ACTIVELY PRACTISING DEVELOPMENT, WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO CULTIVATE YOURSELF. IT IS OPTIONAL ON THIS PATH, BUT MANY OF YOU NEED IT…
This is the first step in the CHANGE OF HEART you have to make to DO Development, personally – its best seen as the groundwork, the foundations you are going to build on, but sadly is something you can’t currently do, because you don’t know how to, you don’t have the right patterns in your head, even if you have read the rest of this Blog a thousand times… So it is just too HARD for you, you are blocked by everything else about you, all your shit is literally stopping YOU dead in your tracks. As many of you know only too well, you are your own worse enemy, quite apart from all your ‘frienemies’ who really don’t want you to change…
Bit of a pickle then, eh… well, at least we know you need this to be EASY… BUT it’s way more than that – it’s ACTUALLY ABOUT THE SPECIFIC REASON YOU FIND THIS HARD. See you simply don’t know how to TRY AT THE START, personally, which is why it is so difficult, if not impossible. See clever little you don’t understand how spirituality really works, but you think you do, you think its the same as everything else, like you think a Yoga class is ‘just’ stretching and breathing, you fool…
So we need to make the practice of REAL Spirituality SO FUCKING EASY it literally requires ‘you’ to do nothing other than follow the instructions at the start, without question or excuse, SO WE CAN ACTUALLY REPLACE ‘YOU’, your ‘personality’ with something WAY better, something that can actually DO development, just while you practice – we give you a new ‘Role’ to Play for that time.
Without this new YOU, this new Role, this preparation, your progress will be random, sporadic, full of backsliding and apathy, just like it is now, and like the vast majority of all seekers you will ‘fail out’… BECAUSE IT’S TOO HARD. BUT there is absolutely NO NEED FOR THIS FAILURE IF YOU ADOPT THIS NEW ROLE, BECAUSE IT’S VERY POWERFUL AND REALLY EASY, BUT MOST OF ALL BECAUSE YOU WILL ENJOY IT, SO YOU CAN REPLACE ALL THE CRAP YOU NEEDED TO DO BEFORE… Get it?
See, folks like you can only reliably DO what they enjoy, and even then they need ENERGY to DO it, so read that last post again when you have a moment…
It’s important to understand this so you take the rest of this post seriously – All normal ‘you’ needs to DO is NOT interfere with this new development Role you need to ‘play’, BUT IT WILL – you are too weak and too stupid to stop it. So we literally have to ‘disable’ normal you for the time you practice so it CAN’T INTERFERE and then just keep everybody and everything else at arms length, so they don’t interfere as well… Easy said than done I know, but when you understand this it really should be easy enough to follow, eh?
Yep, all you need to do is simply follow a set routine at the start of any practice that will change YOU enough to be able to practice by giving you a Role to play while you are doing this, because normal You, your self-destructive personality is just going to fuck this up – Normal Animal You is a failure, and just cycles through the same old mistakes over and over again, a form of slow, tedious, repetitive spiritual suicide… AND YOU KNOW THIS. Normal you DOES NOT WANT TO CHANGE, it is a collection of patterns that just repeat themselves, hijacking everything else you try to do ‘differently’, so you simply CAN NOT USE YOUR CURRENT PERSONALITY TO DEVELOP. And you cannot rely on anyone else, you can’t even tell them… Ok?
Ok, we know there YOU THINK there is a complex set of circumstances stopping some of you from Trying, stopping you from Being better, both inside and outside you, so not only does this HAVE to be EASY, its has to help you deal with those issues too. We have to make you STRONGER, right now, by removing what is making you weaker too, taking out these little issues FOR YOU, as otherwise all this is a waste of my time. So we are going to teach you an ancient Daoist method called ‘Heart Washing’, much as we will use Western analogies for the instruction itself, as this will work very quickly, particularly if you find yourself stuck in the ‘Fire’ of your gift, with the same low-quality shit happening to you over and OVER again…
But let’s just be super clear here…
Rather than JUST giving you a set physical and mental routine to DO at the start of any practice, any time you even think about practice frankly, I’m going to actually explain this to you OVER AN OVER, so you get it. See what this post is about is NOT a Secret, it is there in plain sight in every ancient 4th way tradition you have ever heard of, but it is TOTALLY IGNORED, dismissed as a Religious ritual in the modern world, cause folks just don’t get its THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF STARTING BECAUSE OF WHAT IT DOES, WHAT THAT ENABLES INSIDE YOU – TO ‘THINK SPIRITUALITY’ BY TURNING DOWN THE VOLUME OF YOUR NORMAL, ASSOCIATIVE THINKING, YOUR EGO, ALL YOUR LITTLE ANIMAL WILLS. IT PUTS YOU IN THE RIGHT ‘MOOD’ BY REMOVING THE WRONG MOOD AT FIRST…
See this way, you will understand the VALUE of this practice, why you HAVE TO DO IT, why it is NOT a pointless ritual, IT IS THE FRONT DOOR YOU MUST OPEN. See the trick is to VALUE THIS SO MUCH YOU TAKE THE TIME TO GET REALLY BLOODY GOOD AT IT, TO THE POINT THAT YOU LEARN HOW TO ANCHOR IT, FIX IT IN YOUR MIND, ALL THE DAMN TIME. To help with this Anchoring I’m going to link it to NAMED Role that this type of THINKING enables, what it is called, and how it works, in the everyday sense of it – the Role of the ARISTO, the part of you that wants to be BETTER, that is only interested in EXCELLENCE. Sound good…?
But most importantly its crucial that you ‘get’ you can only relate to this ROLE through your MOOD, which is the key ‘tell’ for the Role you are currently playing. Your Mood is what you feel will change, how you judge – to be able to ‘see’ your patterns, the ability to observe yourself is too far off just now, so everything has to be explained to you in terms of your Mood, in terms of good and bad moods, in terms of what it feels like, then you will get just how important your MOOD STATE IS.
So the ‘explainer’ bit – when you start anything new, a job, class, relationship, hobby, duty even, it’s mainly about learning the new ROLE you need to PLAY to DO it effectively – your success or failure is determined by the SUITABILITY of your State Of Mind for that ROLE, which you feel as you MOOD STATE. All new Roles you learn are based on the old ones you learned as a child, so you grow them upwards for a time as an adult until you basically have a Role set for everything you need to DO in this life, BASED ON WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE, YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE.
However, as I have referenced previously, your experience of LIFE is VERY LIMITED in this day and age, so many of the Roles your Ancestors had as everyday processes are TOTALLY UNKNOWN to you, which is a BIG PROBLEM when it comes to developing yourself, see you don’t even understand what most of these words even meant, back then – your not a farmer/hunter/killer, you have never even killed an animal to eat it later, you have never had to run for your life or killed others while defending yourself, you have never fought in a war, you have never had to survive outside on a winters night alone in the country, you have never had to bury/burn dead people yourself, you have never had to stop yourself from literally bleeding out in the next 5mins, you have never woken up knowing that you have to find heat/shelter/food/protection for your people otherwise you will all be dead tomorrow… see you have Society for all of that, it carries you, so you are what you would call a ‘SNOB’… Yep, you are ENTITLED to be protected are you not, and that’s an attitude that totally fucks you spiritually speaking – you think ‘others’ are required to do 70% of the Roles required for you to survive, even protect your person. Try and understand this, how utterly dependant you are on others, to your ‘Society, you are a slave…’ It’s PATHETIC REALLY because all of this makes you DELUSIONAL, a total fake BUT you think you are strong, clever, good because you exist in this tiny, narrow little world, where you never have to prove yourself at all…
Indeed, for some of you, the folks this post is aimed at, your life experience is so NARROW and relative that you simply can’t start at all, YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING SCOOBY DO WHAT I’M REALLY TALKING ABOUT, you are hopeless, a ‘lost soul’… You have no idea what these other Roles ‘feel’ like, how to do them correctly, so in any of the scenarios above you will mostly get scared and fold up like a bitch. As an example, just outside your window every winter’s night many hundreds of animals (bugs, birds, rats, mice…) die of exposure, particularly when it gets well below freezing, so the young, the old, the unlucky, the unprepared simply never wake up again. You would not last even a few hours by yourself, you have no idea how to keep warm, no idea how to get out of the wind or rain effectively which is the fast killer of people, no idea what is a good or bad spot to sleep, you would PANIC, run around LOOKING FOR HELP, DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE TO SAVE YOU.
Indeed, that begging for help would be your first reaction, even though the ‘attitude’ and skills you need have been practiced by your ancestors for 100,000s of years – your precious little morality would not count for much then, I assure you. Bizarre when you think about the exposure one particularly, that you have no idea that once your core temperature drops below 35’C you have only mins to live, even if your saviors find you alive, cause you are already dead. In all seriousness if this ever happens to you STAY AWAKE, MAKE FIRE and KEEP SHIVERING BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY, TRAP THE HEAT PRODUCED NEXT TO YOUR BODY, cause when you stop SHIVERING you will get confused, want to strip off and go to sleep. If you are intoxicated with Alcohol you will die VERY quickly, so STAY AWAKE, hit yourself if you have to. Also, maybe remember to feed the birds at Xmas, eh, its not a fucking treat for them like, it is life and death…
See many of these correct but missing ROLES are crucial for the State of Mind you need for Spiritual Development, as NONE of your existing States, defined by the set of B/S Roles you currently play, your experience of life, will work at all – you literally have no idea how to approach this with the correct STATE OF MIND, specifically the correct MOOD you need to be IN. See your performance, your ability to understand and follow the instructions correctly varies per all these different states, with something different coming out of you for every different state – driven by the specific set of pattern-matched Associations you bring with that State. But you can’t see that, while in that Role these Patterns are ‘you’, they are all you can think, DO, you have no choice, and that is why the Mood you are in, the Role you are playing is so bloody crucial…
See Old you has no fucking clue what Spirituality is really about, how visceral it is, how it feels… These ‘old you’ Roles will rip this to bits, will change the instructions, distort, criticize and compare, look for the wrong things, miss the right things, ignore the truth when it screams at you, so you can chase a fantasy that you crave from childhood. None of your existing Roles will deliver the CORRECT result for the Development ROLE, that you have ZERO experience off and so have no correct Associations to use… Normal you, just like normal ‘yous’ all over the motherfucking world are damned to fail at spiritual development because of this one single issue… Sad eh?
So this is about being in a different MOOD in the moment of Development, THE RIGHT MOOD, by removing all your confusion and timidity, by getting you to PLAY A SPECIFIC ROLE via the mechanism of both Managing your Mood and then Anchoring that New Mood in yourself, maintaining it. It is a key part of the transition from WHO you ARE right now, who you have become largely by accident, to where you need to BE, to becoming ‘WHAT’ YOU REALLY ARE. And you must ‘change’, by both accepting the need to change AND knowing how to make that change, at the start…
WANT THE GOOD NEWS? WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL, BY GIVING YOU THE WHOLE TECHNIQUE TO PRACTISE BEFORE YOU START.
Yes, this is the first step in making the change to Better You, which, by definition, you can’t DO by yourself. As such it is the most BASIC thing of all – you must Play the Role of the ARISTOCRAT, the folks who take the Aesthetic approach to life, the people who see themselves as the Artists, as the creators of their lives, who seek to improve and perfect themselves BY DOING DEVELOPMENT. It is a new special, secret part of you, that is ONLY INTERESTED IN IMPROVING YOU, all your current roles have to GO while you DO Development.
This new ROLE is based almost entirely on a FEELING, a MOOD STATE, because that is how practicing spirituality works – it sets your MOOD STATE CORRECTLY at the start by focusing on a SENSATION that GROWS INTO THE CORRECT MOOD. Spiritual practice is really about FEELING not THINKING, as you currently experience thinking, which is just a reactive machine in your head.
Easy enough eh… Ahhh, sorry… forgot to say, you can’t PRETEND to be like this, as right now you don’t even know what an Aristo really is in the true Ancient Greek sense of it, so we are going to have to use a process to force it on you, you are going to have to EVOKE IT, to feel it, for real… Then you must remember that feeling so you can bring it to mind whenever you DO anything related to development, and later, all the damn time…
Crucially…. YOU MUST TREAT IT LIKE YOU ARE PLAYING A GAME FOR THAT TIME, THAT DEVELOPMENT IS A GAME WITH RULES, THAT YOU NEED TO BE IN THE CORRECT MOOD TO PLAY WELL, TO PROGRESS. See you can’t pretend, BUT YOU CAN ‘GAME’ IT, play a ROLE even though you don’t think its real, because YOUR BRAIN TREATS GAMES AS REALITY, indeed your brain thinks ALL your current Roles are just different games because in truth they are. Your division of reality and fantasy is very arbitrary, and largely down to how seriously you take it. For example, some E-sports teams who play COD for money take their GAMES more seriously than you take your career because it has made them rich, so it’s not a ‘fantasy’ anymore… Games are real to your mind, so you should use this function whenever you need to learn something fast, as you are not consciously ‘faking it’ when you learn them. With the prevalence of computer games in the modern world, I have found this approach to be very effective at setting up this Role play exercise… Get it?
So why the feature image of forging a sword, you wonder…?
Because TO DO this, to make this change, we need TO FORCE THIS MOOD CHANGE ON YOU, because you can’t do that yet by memory. Then you can use your mind like a ‘blade’ TO develop yourself. We need to do this FOR REAL, so we need to ‘burn out’ the impurities from your mind, shape it into a weapon, and then quench it to make it tough, solid… Right now your Mood State is just a tangled clump of metal, so that image tells you what you need to DO to forge your MIND into a weapon, whenever YOU WANT TO TRY. Ahhh, go on then… for all of you who love the 4th-way fairytales that are the Grail Romances as much as I do, know that this is what the current and future King who pulls the ‘Sword from the Stone’ actually fucking means… But I digress, I know most of you don’t like medieval fairytales… so just know that the mechanism of changing your MOOD is taught through the analogy of forging a bladed weapon in this system, which I like above any others because alternating ‘heat’ and ‘cold’ is a factor in this routine.
I know… you question this already, don’t you…. ‘So why the hell do I have to Act differently for these development episodes’, you ask, ‘it is still me doing this, is it not?’ No, you fucking fool, it’s NOT the OLD you, not for this, the old you is little better than a vegetable, and we need you to be better than that for a VERY SPECIFIC PURPOSE – the PROCESS OF LEARNING THE ROLE OF THE ARISTO, the specific physical technique you are going to use to change your mood and then anchor it allows you to temporarily ‘RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, which is the ONLY WAY YOU CAN START. See, we need your BEST DAY, every time you TRY AND DEVELOP, as shit, tired, distracted, depressed, scared, bored, unhappy YOU is no fucking use to anyone… YOU NEED TO MANAGE YOUR MOOD BEFORE YOU START, OK?
THIS IS HOW TO APPROACH DEVELOPMENT FROM WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, HOW TO ‘STYLE IT OUT’, as da kids say, presented in a way you should ‘get’ very quickly… Yep, its a simple post because its about DOING STUFF… But however simple this is be very aware it is SO fundamental to your ability to DO any DEVELOPMENT, its a biggie boys and girls, because to make this temporary change involves ‘anchoring your mood’, so to stop being ‘moody’, pushed around by whatever happens outside, just one more trivial little mess, BUT not because of what happens outside, no… that is meaningless, but because of the negative little ‘STATE of you’. And this crap has to go… think it’s important you start to see how many of the qualities, these excellencies of character, ‘virtu’s’ if you like, that we have mentioned in so many other posts on this Blog start to come together now, under this one banner…
So, even though it’s totally unnecessary to KNOW this to DO the routine of Mood Management, I’m going to explain what MOOD control actually does for ‘you’, so you get what actually happens when you do this… SO YOU VALUE THIS PRACTICE CORRECTLY AND NEVER FORGET TO DO IT, TO CHANGE TO A DIFFERENT ROLE EVERY TIME YOU PRACTISE.
To go down one further level, on the basis that this is a primer for the Role of the ARISTO, when it is permanent – about NOT GIVING A FUCK in a good way, because you KNOW YOU CAN COPE, WHATEVER HAPPENS, as your mind is FREE, to a greater or lesser degree, SO ALOT MORE OF YOUR MIND IS AVAILABLE TO USE. At this early stage that is what raising your level actually starts as.
But you can’t do that yet.. can you, there is no point in pretending to BE this way because your mind is NOT FREE, you are a SLAVE to all your crap, all those little patterns of yours and your society, every trivial little thing. You USE yourself up on crap every min of every day, so you have no ‘level’, so no ability to DEVELOP yourself. So we have to teach you how to ‘kick that level up a notch’, temporarily, for the time you actually TRY and DEVELOP, we have to show you how to FORCE that improvement, how to PRODUCE IT ‘IN YOU’ FOR, A MOMENT OR TWO, SO YOU CAN USE IT FOR YOUR BENEFIT… Easy eh?
See, any real development needs you to improve your Level FIRST – your Level is your Potential to DO in that moment, the size of the canvass you have to paint on, no matter how gifted you are in terms of your Essence, your Birthright. Without something bigger to draw on all the instructions in the world of ‘how to draw’ are just theory, the dry dust of other people’s experiences.
But we can’t actually increase the SIZE of the canvass of your mind in this quick and dirty way, (that is what the 2nd Force Carthisis is for in this post) we can only stop some, or most of ALL THE OTHER CRAP you are drawing on it, unconsciously, so you actually get that space back for development, however briefly… Clever eh, but it works, and it works fast by literally freeing up your available Conscious ‘RAM’ of your mind, so it feels like you just got a whole lot more sensitive, smarter, more perceptive, and most importantly MORE ABLE TO DO STUFF. See having a largely free mind gives you this feeling of being able to COPE with WAY MORE than you normally can, that is the point of it… Its a truly gorgeous feeling that you may have experienced when some big problem or other was suddenly lifted, went away, and a huge chunk of your mind was suddenly ‘available’ again, before you started scribbling trivial crap on it that is, INSTEAD OF USING IT TO DO USEFUL STUFF.
Yep, to do development YOU MUST BE DIFFERENT to every day you – normal you is a trap, it is a prison, its is designed to STOP YOU from DEVELOPING. The ONLY way out is to change, which happens organically anyway, but can be FORCED TO HAPPEN MUCH QUICKER. So, you need to know how to ACT, to play the role, to BE DIFFERENT to ‘normal’ shit you, for the brief time you DO spiritual development. For this time EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOURSELF, THE DAY TO DAY YOU, HAS TO GO, you have to actually act gifted – To GAME this Gifted Role via Mood Management. And you must DO it, publically or privately, in TOTAL SECRECY.
Again – right now where you are is NOWHERE, so you can’t start, you are weak and stupid, you don’t have the mental patterns, the knowledge or the skills to do development, so all of this is just INFORMATION. But you DO actually need to start, information is only helpful if it is RELATABLE, if you can ‘get it’, intuitively, and you need a new Mood to do that, to learn and anchor in yourself until THIS NEW MOOD slowly BECOMES YOU.
Now Moods, particularly the GOOD, POWERFUL moods so absolutely essential for any real development BECAUSE YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN NEGATIVE MOODS WHICH CAUSES ALL YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS – the background Mood State you are ‘IN’, that you are usually totally unaware of until that Mood State finds a cause and manifests as an EMOTION, and that emotion is usually negative because of the continual, negative state of you, and ALL NEGATIVITY EXISTS AS TENSION THAT USES UP YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS.
Remember this now – all TRIVIAL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS are IN you BEFORE THEY MANIFEST, THEY ARE BECAUSE OF YOU, they are the STATE YOU ARE IN, and they are NOT caused by external events. EVER… EVENTS ARE SIMPLE LITTLE ‘TRIGGERS’ THAT ALLOW YOU TO ACT OUT THE NEGATIVITY, THAT YOU ACTIVELY SEARCH FOR, INDEED YOU ACTUALLY CREATE THOSE TRIGGERS, EVEN IF THAT’S JUST ‘PUTTING YOURSELF IN THE WAY’ OF THEM LIKE SOME ATTENTION-SEEKING LITTLE FREAK. Worse still, this negativity, this fear, boredom, and irritation et al actively resists the Development process, IT STOPS YOU TRYING. So then you ‘think’ you don’t want to try because your current low-quality self feels NEGATIVE toward it, whatever it is, even before you fucking know what it is, get it?
Managing your mood is ESSENTIAL because you CANNOT DEVELOP YOURSELF ON THIS PATH WHILST RESISTING THE DEVELOPMENT PROCESS… So we are going to make you WANT TO DO THIS, we are going to MAKE THIS FUN, we are going to show you that all development is a game, indeed… IT IS THE GAME OF LIFE, your true Character’s ‘GAME’, the point of life for the Gifted.
But… if you settle for the fake ‘good’ feeling of continually expressing negative emotions, the minor thrill you feel in the moment of being a bitch or bastard, of being so weak you cannot stop yourself then you will remain a trivial little nothing.. STOP DOING IT. ‘What’ I hear you wail… ‘that can’t be true, can it?’ Yes, it is… negative emotions are the no1 way you currently WASTE YOURSELF FOR NOTHING, indeed everyone around you thinks you are a self-important, self-entitled, self-serving little moron, so you must GO AGAINST YOURSELF, until the desire to express them leaves you… YOU ARE ARISTO NOW, NOT SOME TEDIOUS SPOILT BRAT OF A CHILD, SO WEAK YOU CAN NOT STOP WHINING ABOUT WHATEVER YOU FEEL, SO GROW THE FUCK UP. Understand you need this stuff, to realize who you were born to be, otherwise you are going to ‘decline’…
YOU think all development is HARD because you already think you will HATE IT BEFORE YOU EVEN FUCKING START. You ‘think’ you have to suffer, to do the same stuff over and over again so it ITS SUPER BORING, it’s worthy, tedious, awkward, ritualistic torture… You STILL think all spirituality is RELIGION…
And you are WRONG – SPIRITUALITY FOR THE GIFTED IS ACTUALLY ‘REQUIRED’.
2nd Force…the ‘how to’ actually trigger Catharsis via Shame for the Gifted (beginner’s version)…
Now…. we need you to get Catharsis, we need you to get why the controlled use of very strong emotional states is one of the BIG keys to rapid progress… we need you to get How to practice it, against what you already try and do, why the catharsis mechanism already dominates your whole tawdry little Hedonistic experience of life, how it ACTUALLY DEFINES YOU AS A PERSON. OK?
So let’s go straight in at the deep end, shall we…. Shame is an IDENTIFIED form of Catharsis based on the creation and culmination of an emotional ‘crisis’ that you let ‘overwhelm’ the boundaries of your mind so it ‘erupts’, BUT YOU DO NOT REACT TO THIS SHAME, you do this all with a ‘straight face’ like you feel nothing, however bad it feels. Shame as a visceral feeling can be FORCED OUT TO THE SURFACE BUT ONLY IF IT IS ALREADY IN YOU, so you must immerse yourself in the memory of the event and subsequent feeling as deeply as possible. You cycle round and round the event several times in your mind, imagining the worst, until it pop’s like a spot you have pressured enough, so the pain of that pressure is ‘relieved’, often through the unforced, momentary realization this is all an exercise, nothing is wrong and you are totally safe, which is the key ‘beginners’ TRIGGER of ‘no conscious trigger’, which is still actually the trigger ‘of not reacting to it’. Let it happen naturally, some feel this unconscious trigger just before it breaks as an involuntary snapping out of it, as a rejection of Shame, which is a great sign, but you cannot force it – YOU MUST STAY IN SHAME AS LONG AS YOU CAN AND NOT ACT IT OUT, stoically, the tidal wave of emotion you have built must crash and ‘break’ on the shore BY ITSELF, when its ready.
The KEY for most people – YOU MUST NOT TENSE AGAINST YOUR SHAME to make it more ‘bearable’, tension is a stopper to this process, you WANT it to be ‘unbearable’, you must feel it FULLY and not act it out – you let it GO, let it ‘over top’ the ‘dam wall’ of your mind, much as mild tension can be used to help increase the weight of emotion during the build-up, like sex, when you get better at this. The first time it happens it may feel too scary for little you, so you will instinctively tense against it, just practice until that knee-jerk reaction is controllable and you can let yourself ‘go’ like the climax of sex, the practice at the end of this post will help with that as well. Yes, ‘Stoicism’ is a lot ‘sexier’ than you thought it was, eh… the power of your ‘Virtu’ is in the emotion itself, if you ACT IT OUT THEN IT’S GONE, YOU HAVE PISSED IT AWAY, no matter how good in the moment that power feels ‘leaving you’, IF you are dumb enough to ‘act it out’ via losing your shit, sobbing like a baby, raging like a bitch, it has STILL FUCKING LEFT, so you are ‘less’ now, slower, dumber, uglier. This is why ‘Virtue Is Its Own Reward’, WHEN Catharsis transforms that BAD into GOOD BEFORE YOU PISS IT AWAY FOREVER, otherwise a little bit more of your Gift has just left the building, like Elvis…
Yep, at your level it is that simple AND its a great way to school you in the use of the HIGH levels of pressure you need to generate via emotion, just as it is for all Identified types of Catharsis – its close cousin being Grief (much harder but usually for pets at the start, not the dead or dying), Anxiety (Very popular with the unschooled gifted via forms of gambling, risk, as the process has its own, inbuilt trigger so very easy), Attention (every Popstar, Politician and Players fave, which we actively discourage as it makes you super vulnerable to parasites), and the other key sensation ones of physical tension (usually from denied addictions, with smoking being a personal fave), or actual prolonged suffering of pain (easiest by far to force but we don’t use this Fakhir crap, it becomes cheap and nasty), but insoluble problems leading to specific insights (the classic Zen Koans, VERY hard at the start but addictive later as there are 100s of them), engaging/horror based narrative stories (Drama is THE Ancient Greek choice, and one you may be currently using…), and the big, but much more complex, daddy of them ALL is obviously SEX, DONE CORRECTLY. Indeed I have often found that your quality of result from using Shame is directly related to the quality of sex you have, as its a big tell for the size of your GIFT, but REAL Shame is an accessible but ‘GIFTED ONLY’ FEELING so generally works for all gifted pretty quickly at a low level, hence why we use it. Obviously several of the types above can be combined in the moment, and there are much better triggers but please don’t try that by yourself, you are too weak yet for the big results that can deliver…
Importantly, DO NOT GO STRAIGHT TO SEX AND TRY THIS – ‘NOT ACTING OUT SEX’ IS WAY MORE COMPLICATED than the above, indeed your results from Catharsis will be MUCH BETTER IF YOU HAVE LESS SEX FOR A WHILE, as sex is usually the biggest drain of yourself BY FAR because you are doing it wrong. Yes, you may be one of those highly gifted types who is ‘naturally’ dispassionate during sex, all cold and polite, who want sex ‘done to them’ with no personal involvement, who literally blank out their partner when there is ‘no connection’ because they ‘get’ the ‘connected’ energy aspect of it, but it is more than that, and even those folks don’t get the end right – you are not ‘finishing it’ with the right trigger from the right level of partner, so the Virtu is thrown away. People these days get VERY tense and throw themselves around like a heavily medicated pornstar with one eye on the studio monitors, and that is animal sex, a badly structured gym workout, so its worse than useless as it makes you MUCH ‘less’ than you started as, so they try and make up for it with quantity, and that can be deadly. When you have some ‘level’ you will start to feel just how FUCKING BAD animal sex feels for the gifted afterward, how depleted, how cold, how unpleasant, how ‘ruined’, how confused, how stupid and angry toward your partner, even now you unconsciously despise it, and it will get much worse for much longer, over time. Later you will vow to never waste yourself on it again, much as you obviously forget that over and over, or more usually try and compensate for this ‘nasty afterglow’ feeling by combining it with other, easier Catharsis types such as additional Risk/Anxiety/Secrecy or Attention, which then sadly become the main focus of sex, rather than the sex itself. I know… you are Gifted so you are going to chase Catharsis, but seriously, if you want to gamble (and many of us do) then bet on the football like everyone else – combining Risk or Attention to compensate for animal sex is the ‘Liquor store hold up’ level of Catharsis, you gamble ‘everything’ for literally ‘next to nothing’, and sooner or later the Old Bastard behind the counter will simply shrug and shoot you in the face.
Now… For Muses, for the Numb et al the above Shame Catharsis can work in literally a few secs to a min or 2, BUT some of you ‘stubborn’, tortured soul types, with your MASSIVE EGO DEFENCES, who are always right about everything, find that natural, spontaneous triggers are a REAL struggle at both the bottom and top ends of quality with Shame, plus if your Gift is VERY strong you can strongly resist blanked-out Shame (may feel a bit life-threatening to ‘you’, so to speak, because obviously, your shame hates you..). So… I will give you a single forced trigger to try if you get nowhere (its actually too soon to use this but some of you just might be able) – catch yourself as deep as you can be in shame and then suddenly LAUGH AT YOURSELF, at just what a total mess all that ‘was’, thank god you got away with it, eh? Force the laugh physically, DON’T THINK ‘LAUGH NOW’, as that will deflate the Shame, if you don’t know how to do that watch something that makes you laugh and learn, you can even use a video at the top of Shame to make you laugh… You can force a physical shiver as a ‘twitch’ just before if you like, as that is the next step, but no slapping yourself or getting others to pinch you as a proper external trigger please (you will get it wrong), leave that for the hardcore Zenmen and consenting ‘adults’. Laughter is the most NATURAL of all forced triggers (eg a tendency toward ‘nervous laughter’, anyone…) and therefore can be forced in reasonable safety, but DON’T DO IT IF YOU DON’T NEED TO, its manly for the EGOs who continually challenge their Shame via mental justifications, cause ‘they are always right’, ie they are DELUDED AND NEVER RIGHT.
Lastly know that all Identified Catharsis is all a low to a medium level of power and refinement, the high level, life-changing stuff is all UnIdentified, you must be separate from it, and it’s way too hard and too dangerous for you just yet – you need to be VERY sane, you need Willpower, and you NEED TO BE MUCH STRONGER before you fuck with that. To describe the feeling of the result of Catharsis is a never-ending task as it totally depends on what you currently relate that result to when it happens by itself, but just so you know the technical phrase used by folks like me is ‘A Crystalisation’, as that is technically what is happening to the energy involved, however you feel it, as you may be freezing cold, feel a sizzle or crackle, balloon bursting, or you simply may not be that sensitive, yet, and the moment passes as a mild relief. This lifts your level of consciousness up, in that moment, and over multiple times will start to become permanent. BUT… Again, if you don’t feel shame, if you have never felt shame to the point that you are not sure what shame is as a real emotion then you are an animal and this won’t work.
Now, one more time before we start the actual routine, so you wanna know what SHAME IS…?
As you may have gathered this is a very committed attempt to achieve the required result, before we tell you the Routine, so I’m going to stress something so you GET IT, so you understand just how fucking ‘real’ the Gifted DOWNSLOPE I mention all the time is for so many sad, broken gifted folks, the ‘damned’ no less, who can’t start. I’m going to use some illustrations and try and normalize what some of you may be experiencing, so you can prepare yourself to deal with it more effectively, TO GET that you are NOT really a total nut job, WE ARE NOT EVEN BLAMING YOU FOR ACTING LIKE ONE – THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, you are an unschooled highly gifted seeker, often with a dominant Essence that has broken through into your everyday life. YOU just don’t have a fucking clue what is actually happening to you – SO WE HAVE TO SHOW YOU, SO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU, THEN YOU WILL WANT TO START, before you no longer have the choice…
See, many of you don’t get that this ‘downslope of the unschooled gifted’ is insidious, odious BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS INVISIBLE TO TOO-COOL-FOR-SCHOOL ‘YOU’ – you are mentally stuck in your ‘glory days’. To illustrate this in the real world sense of it, a VERY gifted French lady once said to me ALL unschooled gifted who don’t find an external way to step off the crazy train eventually enter the ‘CREEPY’ phase, in the ‘dangerous-to-know’ sense of the word, which is sad really as most unschooled gifted spend their life accusing others of being creepy, even after they have understood the concept of ‘projection’. The only way they ever tell is when folks, normal people you don’t even know start to recoil from you, intuitively, back away for ‘no reason’, ‘you’ even start to think everybody is weird even though its really that you have decided to advertise that you are well and truly ‘on the spectrum’.
Perhaps the best way to say it is that you lose perspective because you have traded your self-respect for the pursuit of sensation, even if you think you are keeping it secret, you’re probably not. Worse, if, like mine your secret life could be considered glamorous, exciting in some way, it can become so seductive, so attractive that you don’t bother keeping it secret anymore, you actually become it, you simply don’t care, you become hard, mean, vicious even, unconcerned by anything ‘normal’… Now, obviously, there are any number of mechanisms of this type, so the best way to sum it up is that you become totally focused on yourself as an ‘instinctive animal’, in the spiritual sense you live only to experience that sense of ‘connection’ with whatever you do BEST, which itself is forced on you by your Essence, the activity of an ancestor or 2, ‘you’ don’t even get to choose, it’s your ‘true nature’ coming out in any way it can.
Now focus on this bit, because this is how it works…. if you have EVER experienced this CREEPY/DANGEROUS REALISATION, SEEN YOURSELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU to the point that the ‘SHOCK’ OF IT WOKE YOU UP FOR A MOMENT, when ‘you’ saw it as you actually DID IT, then ‘cop on’ FAST, as it is THE Cathartic Shock that has temporarily raised your level of consciousness in order to SEE that – it is your ‘cue’ to change. If you don’t START, if you just use more and more arousal to MASK IT you will start to exhaust yourself, your gift, start to fray at the edges, start to see yourself in a horrible, nasty way, and you will NEED bigger and bigger Shocks to reach you again. If you don’t change now, this downward spiral leads to you BECOMING DESPERATE, often quite quickly, and everything bad that is just a minor hitch in your life right now will start to SPEED UP, repeat itself over, OVER AND OVER AGAIN no matter what you do…
For the Desperate life becomes a fairy tale ‘nightmare’, like you are in a really cheesy, formulaic, OVERLY DRAMATIC soap opera, and BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN THAT YOU CANNOT STOP, because you have LOST CONTROL. And you don’t even bloody care… so you can’t be helped anymore, you can never be ‘reached’, the door has closed. See, when you stop caring about yourself all you will ever do is seek Thrills and Oblivion, even comfort won’t be enough anymore, and you eventually hit the last milestone of this downward spiral, you BECOME TOXIC, you become a type of disease, so you should not be surprised when eventually other people stop feeling sorry for you and start to protect themselves from you, drop you, even give you a polite little slap or two, should you fail to get the message, however gifted you once where.
Now… I’m going to emphasize this for effect, (so please skip these next couple if you are already keen)…. just know that I know folks like this, I’m not being nasty for the sake of it whatever some of you may think, you HAVE TO GET that this is real, true for many people who failed to get off their crazy train before the last stop…
See many Gifted people simply NEVER commit to changing themselves, so end up being ‘committed’ in the Health Care Institution of their choice, because they failed to grasp that you already started developing yourself through chasing Catharsis via Hedonism, but now it has gone stale, your evolution has stalled, and your Gift will start to rot YOU from the inside out – for the highly Gifted this process of Evolution is forced on you, you cannot just stop, sadly BUT you can exhaust yourself, your gift to the point you fall apart, and much worse besides. Never forget that cautionary old wives tale – the state of your soul starts to show on your face, body, mind from your Early 30s, so you better be sure you want to end up looking like a Fairytale monster…
‘Ahhhh, ok’ you say, ‘we get this now, please stop and get to the routine, please…’ And I say ‘NO’, you don’t get it yet…. Yes, the majority of you reading this just NEED TO always remember that it’s later than you think boys and girls, no matter how ok you are doing today, don’t forget that, so for those who EVEN SUSPECT the truth about themselves, if this or that friend quietly points out to ‘you’ some cold, ‘unexpected insight’, that maybe you should stop doing that (which is actually them saying you have become CREEPY), NOW IS THE TIME TO START. But that is not all of it… Yes, this post is aimed at the group of highly gifted people who can’t start even though they want to at times, even though they accept they are on the downslope of life, and at some point, THEY WILL HAVE TO START as they know its the only way out, as I did. BUT…
And it’s a BIG ASS FUCK OF A BUT… for a very small group of you, usually the highly gifted on both sides of your family and particularly the ones who formed a VERY low valuation of themselves in childhood, that Cathritic Shock, that moment of self-realization that you have become CREEPY/DANGEROUS, IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD, as THIS TIME IS THE ONLY TIME YOU CAN BE HELPED, AND I MEAN EVER. There is simply no point in any teacher trying to help you BEFORE THAT, before the Hedonistic ‘spell is broken’. THIS TYPE OF SHOCK IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE, – we literally wait for you to have it OR we don’t bother…
The way this extreme type experiences this Shock is ALWAYS THE SAME – THE PAIN OF SHAME, full-on, conscience-level emotional SHAME, big powerful, visceral SHAME, that hits you like a fuel/air bomb and continues to burn for some time afterward. You must use this Shame, latch on to it, as its the BEST TRIGGER IN THE WORLD TO BOTH SEE YOU ARE GIFTED AND KNOW ITS TIME TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, as your Gift has just sent you a BIG BLOODY WAKE-UP CALL. Don’t, whatever the fuck else happens, repress it and just keep going, as you will just need BIGGER and BIGGER SHAME SHOCKS to bring you back, next time, if, indeed, there is a next time…
See animals don’t feel shame, so be clear with yourself, and know it’s NOT fear of being found out, not embarrassment, revulsion, desperation because of what you have done, not a realization that this or that person does not really like you, or you them, not the pathetic self-hatred of being a dork, trick, skank, fake, tool, idiot, not the flashbacks of what you did last night cause you were wasted, not the sniggering little self laughing at your weakness, not the ‘walk of shame’ to find a bus at 5.30am or go to a clinic for ‘tests’ or a drugstore for pills, not the desperate and cunning plan to fake an injury to explain the ‘state of you’ to your significant others, no… ITS SHAME about what you have done to yourself, the realization by the REAL you of the utterly pathetic level of ‘animal you’…
Please COMMIT TO THIS CATHARTIC PROCESS, so roll with the unstructured, ‘conversational’ style of the post, but the main issue is, of course, the SHOCK via SHAME part, which has to be generic because I don’t know you, so tends not to hit many of you HARD enough. Therefore after the end of this post I have written a much more brutal version of that Shock, for those who have the sand to read it, but be warned, it is only for those extreme cases who need it and can read it KNOWING ITS INTENDED TO SHAME YOU SO YOU CAN START DEVELOPMENT, or REMEMBER previous SHAME you may have repressed. If you are an animal you will simply resent this, feel this as criticism, a threat even, so get angry, scared as they are not capable of ‘shame’, but in the highly gifted it should trigger minor Catharsis. So open your heart, roll with the explainer bits and let the Shame burn, or don’t fucking bother…
Get this message, think about it… now, take a step back and KNOW THIS – BE PROUD OF YOUR SHAME, AS IT MEANS YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, INDEED YOU ARE BETTER THAN 90% OF THE FUCKING PLANET.
It is not a curse, it is a GIFT!
3rd Force… The Routine.
Just before we get to the routine, know that we are going to start to use ‘proper’ language now, as this is about how you Engender, HOW TO INDUCE, HOW TO PRODUCE THE REAL, ACTUAL MOOD OF THE ARISTO THAT IS THE FOUNDATION OF ‘POWER OVER YOURSELF’ – ENKRATEIA, in the Original Greek ‘ἐγκράτεια’. This is about the key 4th Way skill that is ‘EVOKING’ THAT MOOD AND ANCHORING IT AT THE START. THIS MOOD IS ABOUT NOT GIVING THE SMALLEST FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT DEVELOPMENT…
This mood will eventually, through several other different practices, builds into a permanent feeling, based on the classic metaphor of the ‘bird who has no fear of falling because it can fly’, as you will get that what happens in life is INEVITABLE AND YOU CAN COPE WITH IT IF YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT MOOD – YOU HAVE ALL YOUR RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO USE ON WHATEVER COMES OUT OF THAT GATE…
We have now come full circle from ‘The RIDE’, which was about developing this feeling of Power as a simple exercise – to develop this feeling via the use of sensation. Now we must take that feeling and turn it into something you can hook onto, in your mind, and USE every fucking day to manage your mood. And you REALLY NEED TO MANAGE YOUR MOOD, but not in a way you will hate, but in a FUN, COOL, SIMPLE WAY, by ACTING IT OUT – YOU MUST LEARN TO PLAY THE GIFTED ROLE WE HAVE DESIGNED FOR YOU AND TO REPLACE ALL THE STUPID LITTLE ROLES YOUR CURRENTLY PLAY WHILE YOU ARE DOING DEVELOPMENT.
Right, even I think I have hit that hard enough now, so lets get to the routine… BUT FIRST…
The warning label – NO 4th-way practice is designed to be medicine in itself, to help with HIGH Anxiety, even though this is a secondary effect of all development obviously, so YOU MUST NOT BE AN ANXIOUS, MANIC STATE when you do this, hot bath, a strong drink, an early night, even sex, are way better ways to manage BAD anxiety. You must feel ok in yourself before you do this, this is not therapy, much as I appreciate you could read it that way and it will help you feel way better. This one in particular should not be abused by the weak-minded, as it can make you more vulnerable to the outside world at the start, not less, so always make sure you feel ok, bored even and you are ALONE in a quiet place at the start.
Phone your mum if you like, ask her advice, then read on…
These are 3 keys to understanding this, as below…but BASICALLY, it is a SIMPLE in-and-out breath cycle with a SPECIFIC COUNTER-INTUITIVE TWIST that makes it work x10 better, designed to make you feel TOTALLY RELIEVED, at levels you have probably not experienced before, and then anchor onto that feeling so you can maintain it through resting your attention on that feeling with little or no effort. Can you repeat it as much as you like, until you don’t need it anymore when the output ‘feeling’ is permanent (in a few years…).
This is crucial as you NEED TO DO other things while feeling that sensation once established, which feels like it is overlaying your body, and gets more and more solid the better you get at doing it. You could say that it acts in the same way as swaddling a baby to stop it crying, just without the comfort blanket, as we use the real thing, the real you that is still sitting there, much as you lost touch with it a long time ago, and now just feel other sensations you totally misinterpret, when the real you is trying to tell you something (hint.. this is why you are a GIFTED Hedonist…)
- First, this is a FORCED practice, and all forced practices use External energies against your often corrupt Internal ones, in this case its a Breath/Earth practice, so using the Energy of Breath, both Concentrating it and Valorising it effectively, AND drawing up the energy of the Earth by using a natural vacuum, is how this works REALLY fast. If you have done the Ride at all, you should have some knowledge of just how much farther in and out you can actually force yourself to breath, more than you normally do, which we will need now, as the Quantity of Breath you are moving through your body is the KEY parameter that affects the speed and quality/pureness/power of the MOOD change. REMEMBER THIS – YOU ARE MOVING AS MUCH VOLUME OF BREATH FOR EACH CYCLE AS YOU CAN, AS YOU WILL BREATHE VERY, VERY SLOWLY.
- Second, you must dramatically change the tension in your body to a feeling of RADICAL RELIEF on inhale, force it, and not just minor relaxation, as that won’t do shit. What we are talking about here is the feeling of physical collapse, when perfected it is the state Zen folks call ‘Dropping Off Body and Mind’, but the best way for you to relate to it is to ‘GO TOTALLY WEAK’, and I mean as weak as you can, like you have just jumped out of an airplane, and are now free falling totally out of control for the fun of it. It sounds hard, but it is actually quite simple when you know how, but you should practice this offline as it is the main way to learn the skill of EVOKING, as the 2nd KEY, but the trick is to acquaint this RELIEF to the POSITIVE FEELING OF ‘GETTING AWAY WITH’, WHICH MAKES YOU MORE ALIVE THAN EVER, rather than comfort or drug-related states, which are shit and just send you to sleep.
- Third, you must latch on to the solid surface feeling on exhale that starts as the surface tension of your skin, NOT inside you. This feeling will grow with every breath cycle, until it becomes harder and harder, but you must not tense your body in an attempt to chase this sensation, you must simply latch on to it by noticing it, don’t try and question or explain it, even if it is still the surface tension of your skin it will change and grow into a MUCH MORE SOLID FEELING in time, so it will be obvious when its there. This is the 3rd KEY, and is about building something in yourself you can trust, and something that stays with you longer and longer after the session. It is a small little part of the REAL you, temporarily brought to the surface of your mind, and it should feel REALLY FUCKING PLEASURABLE, for some very POWERFUL, for others quite EROTIC, for others very NEUTRAL, depending on the existing level of physical and emotional tension you have.
So those of the 3 keys to doing this, so let’s show you the procedure now, shall we, using that ‘forging the sword of you’ analogy, no less, just because I LOVE medieval fairytales of the 4th way… To be honest, there are several other Far Eastern analogies that work just as well, but I don’t think ‘Radical Compassion for all living things’ via imaginary invocation works that well for modern folks (see, you winced just reading that, didn’t you…), but bending like a Bow and ‘drawing the arrow’ is my favorite Zen one, let alone the full version of Shikantaza for all you hip Soto Zen bunnies, which I will use at a later date, when you can DO this…
But, before the simple detail, there is a weird bit, that is important to me that I tell you, much as I’m not going to explain why… I just want you to KNOW THIS. What this practice actually does in a VERY ANCIENT ‘2500 years ago sense of it’ IS this – OFFER YOUR IN BREATH TO YOUR OUT BREATH, AND OFFER YOUR OUT BREATH TO YOUR IN BREATH. See, there may come a time when you ‘experience’ what that actually fucking means…
So the process itself – Overall this practice is about NONE RESISTANCE, so by definition, you must use the least effort possible, and over time progressively TRY AND REDUCE THE EFFORT YOU HAVE TO USE AT HE BEGINNING TO LEARN IT, the effort of breathing itself. By effort, I mean anything that causes physical or mental tension in you through ‘using’ a muscle group consciously, other than your lungs, and even that should fall away as the habit of breathing returns to a natural slow rhythm, after a few tries. Yes, your breathing should happen by itself, like a pendulum once you have started it swinging in the correct way, you just watch the solid feeling build, and build.
The ‘warm up’ phase – tense and release you whole body by pulling it together as much as you can several times quite fast, so you get the feel for what tension relief feels like, then put your mind on the surface of your skin and literally flop down on a bed or couch by going weak all over, focus on the release of any tension that is holding up your body and just lie back, try and do this release very fast, like you are throwing a switch, just drop it all off. Then do it again 2 or 3 times until you feel the warmth on the surface of your arms. Remember this feeling and sit up, then practice Evoking it by exhaling strongly and going weak at the same time, without flopping down. Got that?
The practice – So what you are going to do is this, lying down on the bed in lose clothing (later you need to be able to do this ANYWHERE)
- First we ‘Thrust the blade into the furnace and heat it’ – You DROP ALL TENSION BY GOING WEAK VERY QUICKLY and then take a slow, deep in-breath only through your nose, filling your lower lungs first and then your upper chest until you feel the mid point of your chest, at the level of your heart expand slightly. As you breathe in you have the sensation of a Balloon filling with air and ‘rising up’ above your animal self, putting what feels like ‘distance’ between you and your animal self. At the top of the Inhale pause and notice the heating sensations, rising, curling and twinging feelings in your body, and then switch to 2nd stage…
- So you must do the OPPOSITE of what you normally do as you breath in.. you MUST radically drop all the tension in the rest of your body on the IN BREATH, not the exhale, the only bits of yourself you keep tense are your lungs, but only use enough tension to breath slowly, everything else should feel VERY WEAK. And I mean everything, so feel for the tension at the start, from the top down but arms, legs, hands and feet are the easiest to find.
- As in BREATHE IN you should start to notice a feeling of heat on the surface of your skin, that slowly sinks in as you get better at this practice. The heat is of the desert kind, a dry almost abysmal feeling of heat, that is based on energy build up, rather than an external source. Stay with that feeling, and let it build through the slow deep in breath, often from the chest outwards but not always. This is the heat of the furnace, and your bellows (your lungs) are building that heat by blowing ‘air’ onto it, it should eventually be very pronounced so you don’t have to look for it.
- Second we ‘Quench the blade in the earth and then Slowly Draw It Out’ – At the top of your in-breath you suddenly pause by subtly freezing the sensation of your upper body at that moment, replacing the weakness with a light tension of the surface of your skin, locking it, before slowly exhaling, with a focus on using the long stomach muscles to pull UP (not suck in) your abdomen into your diagram at the bottom of your lungs, creating a draining/pulling feeling in your legs that connects to the light tension in your upper body, as if you are pulling up energy through your legs, which still feel weak.
- So you go slightly strong/tense against your exhale, as if consolidating the energy just generated back to yourself, around yourself and adding to it by pulling up the energy of the earth AS WELL. It is important to feel the pull through your legs but can take a lot of practice to get it going, at the beginning, it just feels like a slightly weak or giddy feeling, which can be of putting, but stick with it, as it will eventually become a flowing sensation.
- As you progress you will feel the frozen sensation will change as you exhale, harden, so notice it when you pause slightly before starting Inhale, and hang on to what you notice for the next cycle as if you are slowly building and building the depth of this sensation as you do more and more breath cycles. This sensation is the goal of this practice NOT filling the balloon feeling on Inhale, which you throw away every time.
Now, the no1 tell you have ‘got’ this OVERALL by ‘relaxing into it’ is that you start to breathe automatically, so you can just watch it rather than control it, your breathing settles down into its own rhythm and you don’t interfere with it, like your heartbeat, but can tweak it slightly when required. Along with this, you should also find that this practice ‘wakes you up’ in the moment, your closed eyes want to open slightly and you become very aware, instead of sending you to sleep. When both of these happen then be happy – you have got good enough at this for it to be EFFECTIVE, so keep at it until you can develop and anchor onto the surface feeling of your ‘blade’, onto the ‘moon in yourself’, as then you will find starting very easy, as you already have made a BIG step forward.
Last, and IMPORTANTLY,…
When you start this practice it is important to fit all x3 Forces together into the model below, as this is what you are DOING Spiritually speaking related to what you NORMALLY DO, as a Hedonist:
- Directed Thinking – ‘Boring Shit’ develops into ‘Boring Shit with Cheap Thrills’ = Increased Knowledge
- Emotional Feeling – ‘Boring Shit with Cheap Thrills’ develops into ‘BIG THRILLS’ = Increased Level of Being
- Deep Breathing – ‘Chillax’ develops into ‘Grand Style of Chara’ = Increased Level of Consciousness
When you are ‘learning’ this stuff, it is fine to do them all separately, try them, and focus on them at different times, for however long you like but no less that 5mins. The real power of this process will only kick in when you do them close together, as Thinking/Feeling/Doing are actually 3 separate parts of you that need to be combined for the greatest effect, but that is a Secret for later. Hopefully you will start to notice what you currently DO for these 3 different mood states will start to drop away, as you gain interest in this stuff, and lose interest in ‘wasting yourself’, so know that is the point of this post – AS THAT IS WHAT STARTING LOOKS LIKE.
So, when you are ‘practicing’ this stuff YOU MUST DO THEM IN THE SAME TIME SEQUENCE, right after each other 1 to 2 to 3, with the time distribution as a Bell Curve (forces along the bottom axis against time as the vertical axis) at the start – FOCUS ON FORCE 2.
Later you will find that time curve becomes an INVERTED Bell curve, as you will have exhausted your SHAME, unless of course you continually regenerate it with new stuff. You should spend most of the time on Increasing YOUR Knowledge via Thinking, linking things together, re-reading, and waiting for ‘aha’ moments when the details start to snap together and you CAN RELATE TO THEM. And then as much time on Breathing as you can, to increase to Level, letting yourself rise above it all, above animal you, until you are ‘high above it all’, and you start to understand what the ‘Grand Style of Character’ actually is…
Later still, you will find that Force 1 and 2 drop away, your knowledge has surpassed Moods and Roles, you need more, and there is no more Shame to ‘mine’ in yourself, you need stronger stuff. So all you DO is 3 – Chillax, and what you want is more and more 3, to build on this practice with the other elements of it I have not given you yet.
Be CLEAR – this is how most highly gifted present DEVELOPMENT to themselves as a replacement for the more USELESS aspects of their hedonistic experience at the start – that is hows you fit it into your existing Patterns of life.
THIS IS WHY IT WORKS.
To conclude…
At this point I generally tell Hedonistic folks a particular truth about themselves that is specific to them, sadly I cannot do that here for obvious reasons, so I can not use a real example to explain this, but here is the high-level version – please just accept this definition of WHO YOU ARE. To explain – the real you is your Essence, what you have inherited, the fake you is your Personality, forced on you by Society and the events of your life thus far, your personality is UN NATURAL AND HAS DEVELOPED OVER TIME. Your personality is FALSE, and is NOT PERMANENT and is eating the real you, BUT your ESSENCE IS TRUE and is permanent and refreshes you. Your FALSE personality surrounds your Essence, often smothering it, containing it, and is always based on the dimension of cleverness, how complex and devious you are, your valuation of yourself, often quite masculine, even if you are female, a bit twisted even. Your Hero’s journey is to bring your Essence into your everyday life and live ‘through it’, replacing your personality via the mechanism of Catharsis. We find and manage our Essence on this path, we DO NOT just hand ourselves over to it, one extreme to the other, we maintain our sense of ourselves, whilst understanding who we naturally are, as we need to be BOTH. OK?
Now much as I can’t show that to you here and now, the point of bringing this up is that its very important to accept all YOUR BLOCKS TO DEVELOPMENT ARE PART OF YOUR FALSE PERSONALITY. Yep, you maybe lucky and have a very weak personality, to doubt yourself A LOT so your Essence is already a big part of you, particularly the ARISTO parts you already have or things you feel compelled to do. Just know that you will still have a HUGE AMOUNT OF PROTECTION MECHANISMS you have built up over the years to shield you from the harshness of life as that is how personality forms – YOUR BLOCKS, as below. None of your blocks are USEFUL, they all need to go. HOWEVER – as a GIFTED HEDONIST you MUST accept that you WILL have actually developed yourself already to some degree through Hedonism and that development is PERMANENT, at an Essence level – those elements of yourself you have built into your life from via Catharsis CAN NOT be removed, you cannot go back, you are stuck with those. The most obvious one is the type of Catharsis mechanism you stumbled upon that WORKED FOR YOU at the time, which will remain a large part of your life, much as you are no doubt doing it wrong, with the wrong process that you confuse with the result, which are totally different in reality.
I cannot just show you your Essence in every day yourself via this post, and in truth, it is ALWAYS VERY DIFFICULT TO SEPARATE THEM AT THE START but if you wish you can look back into your childhood for the parts of yourself that you enjoyed/loved that were clearly not part of your ‘level’ of society or your environment, strong interests at school, bookish things that you could never experience for real but could read about, that no one else around liked – the bits of you that made you ‘different’ as a child, in an out of context way. A fun example, in my early teens, I found an old English Longbow (antique) my father had acquired and forgotten about, before discovering I knew how to string it up intuitively and could hit anything I aimed at with zero practice. Yes, its a small thing, yet this type of small thing may give you a flavor of who you actually are, you may be totally different, so ask your parents how you have changed from when you were just starting to talk and form interests, what you did that was weird, as stuff like that has helped a lot of folks get their head into this process of development, just by realizing what they have forgotten about themselves. Much as it can be kinda sad to see that the best of you was crushed by society as a child, it is also comforting to know it is still there, screaming at you to remember it, BY GETTING RID OF YOUR BLOCKS.
Be clear – all your BLOCKS are maintaining your self-destructive crap so they need to fucking go – IT IS ALL YOUR FALSE PERSONALITY, ITS ALL FAKE.
Now, everyone has a particular BLOCKING problem to starting, acts like a favorite ‘trip hazard’ you constantly trip over when you TRY before you even start, in the beginning, so it’s very effective as you have NO progress to balance against it. And I mean EVERYBODY – it is an aspect of your current self that acts as a stopper, usually something that started in early adolescence as you noticed ‘you did not fit in’, so you changed yourself, and you usually know what it is. This practice will show that up, and draw your attention to it, so whatever problem appears while or after you do this practice should be a focus for you – what comes into your mind, what your gift decides to ‘show’. Yes, this will help weaken that problem but everything will go a HELL OF A LOT quicker if you are also prepared to work on offline. Understand these early Blocks are the Berlin wall of progress, you have to take them out, as they are ‘dead stops’, you simply cannot get passed them otherwise, you remain stuck at ‘zero’, at just interested, forever.
The obvious ones are the easiest to guess at by ‘you’ as they are YOUR BIG BLOCKS TO STARTING, and are what your negative attitude IS BUILT ON, usually something that you actually think is otherwise VERY GOOD … BUT do not underestimate lesser, more normal ones that define this same negative attitude, best referred to as PATTERN BLOCKS (which you discount as minor) that are very persistent, BECAUSE THEY LIMIT YOUR ALTERNATIVES IN THE MOMENT – YOU CIRCLE ROUND AND ROUND THE SAME PATTERN THOUGHT SETS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS IN YOUR HEAD, that is why they are so effective. They will STILL have a major impact and are often based on smaller aspects of your false personality – your SELF PITY (its always what happens to little, poor me), your SELF WILL (but I’m always right so I always do what I think!), your addictions/comforters (usually just one constant one), your shallowness/lack of concentration (you daydream ALL the time), your opinions/delusions (a particular belief often about yourself that’s crap), and you FEARS (you are stuck in fear mode, you WORRY about EVERYTHING like its a hobby). Everyone has a key feature issue that acts as a nail that holds them down, pull that nail out and most of your other shit will just drop away by itself, leave that nail in and whatever you do will be SLOW, be complicated. Use this practice to find your NAIL, it is usually obvious when it appears, so open up to it and try and understand it, see it for what it is, don’t just try and repress it again, as that is what has made it so powerful.
Now… this practice will also reveal how TIRED your GIFT is, how EXHAUSTED your ESSENCE is because of your misuse of it via any number of mechanisms but commonly by all things hyper-arousal – sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll AND OVERTHINKING, BUT also SCREENS, porn, games, social media, which all drain you continually. THIS CAN BE SHOCKING, particularly for women who otherwise believe they are FINE but suddenly discover via this practice that they are TOTALLY WASTED – the drained feeling can hit very hard the first time you ‘drop’ down into yourself, I’ve seen people go woozy, even faint to the floor before now, feels like it is in your bone marrow. If this is you then you HAVE TO LOWER THIS CONTINUAL DRAINING of yourself FAST AND REFRESH YOUR ESSENCE via HIGH-QUALITY SLEEP, before you go any further as we need that ESSENCE TO DEVELOP YOU. Particularly when you get into a grinding cycle of EPISODIC hedonistic behavior interspersed with mini breakdowns, failures, health issues et al – THIS IS ONE OF THE LAST STOPS ON THE CRAZY TRAIN before you become ‘desperate’, and CAN NOT RECOVER YOUR GIFT enough to develop. This BOOM then BUST then BOOM then BUST et al cycle is the beginning of the steepening decline into NOTHINGNESS for so many gifted, the peril of it can not be overstated… You eventually become ‘scattered’ at an Essence level, and you lose the ability to focus on anything, let alone development, and you don’t want that – your life becomes a ‘dream’, that slowly becomes a nightmare, full of drugs and ‘night terrors’, you become ‘hagridden’, which is a very real thing…
If this is you then ‘you’ have to step in and take time out and use the ancient practice of ‘convalescence’, so DO THE ABOVE PRACTICE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, plus early nights with no alcohol after you have physically tired yourself with gentle exercise (walking) or decent yoga, no sex or drugs at all, whole days with no screens spent outside in nature, spent with animals or by the sea, spend a lot of time alone without the phone, have an entire w/e in bed without watching anything. Sleep is way too big a topic to cover here but know Alcohol, particularly for Women, destroys the quality of SLEEP, its ability to naturally refresh your ESSENCE, so stop drinking for a while, it is easy and really good for the rest of you too, but also no coffee after 10am helps many people who have slipped into a routine of using stimulants to mask their state of health. For a man sex is by far the worst, and when exhausted enough at an essence level sex can actually weaken men to the extent it brings on disease, causing latent health issues to manifest, much as ‘animal sex’ should be managed by anyone serious anyway as it will stop all later development, but energy sex, which many gifted women do naturally, is the way forward as that is REFRESHING WHEN THE LEVELS MATCH.
Be clear with yourself and know that many GIFTED folks ’emotional issues’ are simply this high level of exhaustion at the start, often combined with bad or no relationships with other GIFTED people, on or above their level WHICH IS THE MOST REFRESHING THING OF ALL. BUT you can still, easily refresh yourself WITHOUT good connections to high-quality folks BY STOPPING THE WASTE OF YOURSELF AS PRIORITY 1 – SO PLEASE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. Your life is not some COOL KIDS pseudo-Left-Wing popularity contest, it does not matter what others think of you doing what is needed to protect yourself, just know there is a special place in hell for people pleasers who become parasites in order to refresh themselves, as in our world it as close to a capital crime, a ‘7 deadly level’ sin as its gets. At a full-on exhaustion level your gift is very unpredictable and likely to fixate, focus on very high energy BUT very short-term things, and obsessions to try and restore itself, so you need to be very careful with that and force yourself to convalesce. This short-termism, this lashing out style of hedonism BECOMES DESPERATE REAL FAST, and MUST BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS, go home to your mother if you must, take a month off in the sun alone, DO WHATEVER TO RESTORE YOURSELF EVEN IF YOU LIFE SITUATION SUFFERS, just know that if you lose control of this issue you are OVER, however normal those strong meds can make you appear…
Lastly… one other result worth stating is that your sense of connection to other gifted folks will dramatically increase, it becomes almost like a tentacle you can use when you are feeling emotional, but go easy with that unless you of sure as it takes a while to figure out how it works for you, its difficult to explain but I will have a go on a later post – try not to imagine things happening that you want or compensate for your blocks, so if in doubt DO NOTHING. By doing this practice you are slowly waking up your particular level of ‘taste’, of your REAL attractions and aversions over and very much above your cheap thrills, what you have learned in life, and against what some 4th wayers call your learned FALSE PERSONALITY, the you that is basically TOTALLY FAKE, for many you are just imitating your parents, particularly if you don’t like them. This new TASTE can be very educational but get used to it first, its the Aristo in you ‘waking up’, and is a truly lovely, highly personal experience, as long as you don’t mind realizing you are completely different now, and your partner, lifestyle, job, food choices, hobbies, friends, all your societal likes and dislikes are totally wrong for you… So go easy until you are sure, particularly with your partner, it can be almost impossible (particularly if you have kids) to be honest and tell your now tediously safe, boring, annoying dork of a ‘soulmate’, your ‘lobster’ that you don’t need a safety net anymore, but thanks for the memories, we’ll always have Paris, please keep the big TV and 2nd best bed, or some such shit, before getting on the plane. Figure your way out slowly, have a plan, and don’t hurt others before you can stand on your own 2 feet, they won’t get this gifted thing, they will just think you are a nut job having a mid-life crisis…
However do try not to become mildly obsessed with your ancestors, as often also happens – yes it’s VERY useful to know who the mad, bad and often genuinely scary ones were, and what happened to them, but honestly, some things you are better not to know at the start. For example, it is particularly unnerving for woke modern folks to discover that your relatives spent an unhealthy amount of time killing people, for whatever reason or cause, as back in the day people often did that a lot for very necessary reasons, often ‘survival’, its just you have never had too, so you think they are monsters. For example, my distant relatives were a particularly ‘death or glory’ group of Irish Pirates, raiders from the Sea, but back then it was a genuine career choice as the alternative was starvation, some of them even became ‘Lords of the Manor’, met Royalty, much as many of them died fighting, were hung or were lost at sea. So try and judge by the morality of the times, not your own tedious little snapshot of ‘society’. Let’s face it if we put harmless little you back in that world you would be dead in a day, as back then the society you totally rely on did not exist, back then you were not entitled to shit unless you had a ‘Title’, and I mean you were not even entitled to your oh so precious little opinion, your unearned moral virtue as you had no CONSEQUENCE, so could be killed for the fun of it. See now even rapists and child murderers have rights, back then they just killed them on sight, but in truth back then disease, starvation and the cold killed most people before there were 30, so back then most of you reading this would already be DEAD, as back then planning ahead was what to do ‘tomorrow’, if you were still alive.
Try and give all that some thought… about why people ‘lived’, back then, far MORE than you do… INDEED, THINK NOW WHAT YOUR BLOODLINE, WHEN THEY LOOK BACK AT YOU DECADES FROM NOW, WITH ALL THE DATA AVAILABLE TO THEM, WHAT THEY WILL THINK OF YOU… ARE YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL OR LITTLE BETTER THAN A ZOMBIE LIVING FOR COMFORT AND SAFETY, LIVING FOR A FUTURE THAT NEVER COMES? I doubt many of you will get more than 5secs of anyone’s attention, not even ‘yours’… you are NOTHING, even your parents did more. And how fucking sad is that, with all the FREEDOM YOU HAVE THIS IS HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE, eh – give me the fucking Pirates any day of the week. Ah well, maybe you should just stick to playing Pirate games, watching Pirate movies eh, looking like Pirates in ‘fancy dress’, watching Pirate porn even, all nice and safe and comfortable, eh. At least then you can pretend that you ‘could of been’ something, HELL you could of been a Badass and dealt with your shit whenever you wanted to, you just never got round to it… eh. But that’s cool, it’s not your fault you are weak and stupid, so that’s ok, now get back to your pretty little field, chew the grass, hope for nicer weather, grumble about the routine and try not to notice when your friends quietly disappear, one by one, everything is OK, no need to think about death, just stay on your feet as long as you can, keep up with the young ones, don’t worry about that pain, enjoy your next ‘meal’, there is always tomorrow… R.I.P.
So take a moment now, understand just how low you have sunk in this world, understand how much of yourself you have already squandered on nothing, understand how little it would matter if you died tomorrow, then understand just what ‘GIFTED YOU’ could STILL be, and decide to do something about it. So from this day forth, whenever you have the burning desire to express your precious opinion on some issue, person, event or place you have no knowledge of, or effect on, know that you are simply trying to compensate for being a clueless, insignificant little twat, then remind yourself just how much that precious energy would be BETTER SPENT ON DEVELOPING YOURSELF… SO DO SOMETHING THAT WILL, ONE DAY, MAKE YOU ‘MATTER’.
I wish you good luck.
Wash Up
- Ahhh… yes, there is a lot more to the smelting a sword analogy that I have written, it is more complicated in the full version, which is used to trigger UnIdentified Catharsis, THE HOLY GRAIL, but you are some way from that just now. See there is also hitting the sword on the anvil and there is using the bellows of your Eyes to superheat the sword, but that will wait until you can actually meditate. For now, get used to heating/quenching/drawing the sword out of the ground, over and over again, until the key ‘going weak on inhaling and growing strong on exhale are second nature. See, most folks, clever folks like some of you QUICKLY forget this and switch back to tension on inhaling and relaxation on exhale so all you ever do is relax better. You must get used to these feelings before many other aspects of this practice are possible, otherwise, you will lose the result of them. Then you will start to feel that cold hard surface around you correctly, and be able to maintain this ALL THE TIME YOU THEN DO DEVELOPMENT.
- Moods are more important than you think, they are not just a way to break your resistance, smash your blocks, help you see. Moods become ‘attitudes’ when they harden, they become the active part of you. It’s a big topic for another time, but attitudes control how an external thing/person/event affects you in the core of your BEING, which for the gifted means how it can be used to Evolve, to drive the Catharsis process, to develop yourself. Much as all moods breakdown into being open/interested (Positive) and closed/repelled (Negative), many folks spend their lives in very indifferent moods, which they don’t consider important, they are ‘BORED’, which for Gifted people means they feel no connection to it. Being BORED is another insidious little trap, because you tell to try and occupy yourself or do cheap thrills, whilst still being BORED, instead of changing that Mood altogether. Later I’ll explain just how important managing your Mood toward important things, even forcing it is CRUCIAL to your Evolution, but for now just KNOW all bored Moods are BAD for you, negative, and often the cause of much of your life shit, as you do random shit to escape them. Manage your boredom by doing something in a BETTER MOOD, by finding some challenge to stretch you, some excellence to go after, otherwise, you will sink into mediocrity very quickly – MANAGE YOUR MOOD AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Lastly know that you currently use forced negative moods as a form of protection against outside forces you don’t like, and sometimes you are right to do so, BUT MOST OF THE TIME YOU ARE NOT.
- One key issue with Moods is worth stating now – your Mood acts as a form of memory bank, so what you remember in one Mood you won’t remember in another. Therefore locking onto a consistent mood is even more important when starting development, as you NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS AND LEARN FROM IT, very clearly. See later, when you start to have flashes of insight into yourself, you will need to link them together with a Mood and with each other, so you REMEMBER THEM, otherwise you will forget VERY QUICKLY – the level you need to understand insights and remember them will bounce up and down all the time, so even if you write them down it will be hard to know what you meant, so WORK ON YOUR MOOD CONTROL to help yourself.
- Link this practice to not expressing trivial negative emotions, to stop bitching etc, as going weak when you feel them coming is an excellent and easy way to stop acting them out. This transformation of negative emotions will supercharge your sense of connection, and allow you to control it too. Once you get used to this aspect of developing yourself you will start to understand just how important the sense of connection is, and how it can be used instead of just appearing. You can enjoy it far more then AND you will stop ‘throwing your soul through every open door…’ (Sorry Adele..) stop making a fool of yourself in the attempt to feel that connection again, stop inventing connections where none exists, and repress the ones you don’t know how to deal with, hence stop many of your little addictions.
Lastly….
….before we end, this is one of the few occasions that I will go out of my way to DAMN the Russian 4th way… See, they don’t mention this at all, specifically P.D.Ouspensky, who prides himself on taking Gurdjieff’s ‘Fragments of an Unknown System’ and turning them into an actual method he teaches that TOTALLY MISSES THIS. He forces his pupils to wrestle with genuine techniques with no preparation at all and SO MAKES THE WHOLE PROBLEM WORSE – his method focuses on using mental resources you do not have in ways that make you EVEN MORE TENSE AND FRUSTRATED THAN YOU FUCKING STARTED. Yet he know this state, as he clearly uses the phrase to create ‘Moon In Your Self’, which is what the secondary feeling on exhale is referred to in Zen when it is permanent.
Any progress is totally random, dependent on whatever mood you happen to be in, and often requires random Catharsis episodes to get anywhere at all, even fucking remembering these little jumps forward is a struggle in such circumstances. Total madness that has damned many a gifted Hedonist to a lifetime of pointless frustration, of searching for their ‘False Personality’, of trying to see their level of Identification, of trying to ‘remember themselves’, with no mental resources to DO ANY OF IT. A crime ladies and gentlemen, however well meant he thought he was, no wonder he gave up in the end, a broken and unhappy man, who missed so many of that wacky bastard Gurdjieff’s points, its hard to imagine what he actually thought…
Quote to end as always: and like the rest of this post a very practical one this time, from the 2nd most quoted Author in the English Language no less, which is not bad considering the first is Shakespeare… A poet and a satirist famed for his keen observation of the human condition, and the multiple layers of meaning in his work, a man who suffered more ill health and bad luck but still got up most days and nailed it, one of the highest recommendations for a 4th wayer there is, so I’ve taken a small liberty with this one just to get the point across, should you be able to see it…
‘(The feeling of ) Honor and Shame from ‘no condition’ (no external source) rise. ‘Play’ well ‘your part’: there all the honor lies.’ Alexander Pope
No..? Ahh… you need the 21st century version, don’t you, all about the screens for you, eh… the attention span of a fruit fly… Want me to explain this, really..? Maybe you CAN WORK THIS ONE OUT FOR YOURSELF EH? Look at the roll call of HEDONISTS in this video, LOOK AT THEM, the coolest folks on the goddamn planet, even the ones you don’t even know… see, there is a REASON they fought to be in this video, a homage to the late great Johnny C – THERE IS A FUCKIN REASON. But don’t try and ‘understand’ it, don’t try and ‘paper over’ that icy fissure between you and the truth with the pathetic level of your current understanding – TRY AND FEEL IT, cause right now that is all you’ve got, beeeyatch. Yeah… I know, how the fuck is Keith Richards still alive…
….. Ahhh, not convinced yet…No? Really…..?
Please try to see that all of this talk for what it is… all this circling round and round BLOCKS TO STARTING, how teaching works, about the best students, about Catharsis, about Shame, Moods and Breathing techniques – its DESIGNED TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THIS IS BOTH INTERESTING TO YOU IN SOME ASPECT AND REMOVE ALL YOUR FEAR. That’s how this has to work in our modern world, where everything is ‘sold’ to you, where you need to be convinced instead of knowing how special this is from childhood, as society has managed spirituality out of its people training curriculum. See I know most of you have never heard this stuff before, indeed you don’t even know it exists, so it all has to be explained – I’ve had to try and give you 1 or 2 cool things and remove your dependence, your utter slavery to your BLOCKS.
SO YOU NOW HAVE A CHANCE TO LIVE SOMETHING AMAZING YOU ONLY EVER BRIEFLY TASTED IN THE SHADOWS OF YOUR HEDONISM.
So now you do know, don’t you, BUT you are still not convinced it’s for you…?
So get this…
OF COURSE IT FUCKING IS FOR YOU – YOU HAVE JUST READ TO THE END OF A DIFFICULT 40K WORD POST, MIN 2.5HRS OF YOUR LIFE, THE LENGTH OF A DECENT MYSTERY NOVEL, ALL ABOUT STARTING DEVELOPMENT!!! WTAF ELSE DO YOU ‘THINK’ YOU WERE LOOKING FOR HERE?
SO START, DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO, EVEN GET HELP, GET MAD, GET EVEN, BUT START. Try not be scared of everything, the fake fear of not-death you project onto every little thing – understand that your time is limited, go ask the mirror how long you have got if you don’t get that yet, go put a party dress on you once looked hot in if you wanna know what that feels like. THEN IMAGINE IT BEING X100 WORSE NEXT YEAR, AND THE YEAR AFTER, AND ONE AFTER THAT, CAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.
SO START, TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE FOLKS IN THAT JOHNNY C VIDEO – SEE, YOU ARE NOT EVEN ANY BLOODY GOOD AT THIS HEDONISM LARK, ARE YOU, YOU ARE OBVIOUS, CREEPY, SCARED, A FANTASIST, A ‘GAMER’, YOU DON’T EVEN ‘RATE A MENTION’, AND THERE ARE 10S OF MILLIONS LIKE YOU, BETTER THAN YOU. SEE THE COMEDY THING IS, SHOULD YOU WANT TO SEE IT, IS THAT YOU ARE JUST MAKING A TOOL OF YOURSELF EVERY DAMN DAY, SO YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO FUCKING LOSE, DO YOU?
SO START NOW, SEE ALL OF YOURSELF RIGHT NOW, ALL OF YOUR DEEPEST SHAMES IN ONE MOMENT! SEE EVERYONE YOU KNOW WATCHING THEM ON THE SCREEN, AND KNOW EVERYBODY ALREADY KNOWS ALL THAT ABOUT YOU, THAT YOU HAVE NO SECRETS, THEN GROW UP AND START…
SEE IT – YOU ARE ALREADY LATE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE STORY.
Laters…
TOB
Now………
I said I was going to hit the whole SHAME thing again at the end, so here it is, and this time I MEAN HIT IT HARD, so if you don’t need this then (REALLY) don’t read any further, it’s only for the extreme cases who need that HARD Catharsis episode. What follows is created SOLELY FOR THAT PURPOSE – SO YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF IN IT… Yes, for some there is no choice but to beat the ‘stupid’ out of you…
So the last bit of advice.. AGAIN, FOR THE EXTREME ONLY… if in doubt DON’T READ THIS.
First, before the Shame bit proper we are going to do Parasites again as it will help with the Shame as a form of prep, the x3 most common cases, what to do when you start to become one, often at the beginning of ‘Desperation’, how to deal with Parasites in your life, and lastly the most common of all which is about Needing/Liking your parasites. Also going to focus on the more extreme, twisted, pathetic Gifted Parasites, as you need to DEAL WITH THEM HARSHLY as a rule.
The choice of Shame is not random obviously, as only the GIFTED feel real shame, have a conscience (from the Latin ‘Conscientia’ – best said as the knowledge of how your ‘REAL self’ feels about what your animal self has done) in a meaningful sense, and unlike the other choices it is highly likely THEY WILL HAVE FELT IT ALREADY (unlike real Grief/Love/Compassion) – they feel it at a level there can be no doubt, its a tremendously good sign that all of this is for you… BUT.. if you continue to push past your shame and still do what causes it you will notice that those Shame ‘feelings’ start to decline, diminish, and become easier, which will make you happy, as you don’t feel so bad… So its important to understand, the reason your Shame does not feel so BAD anymore is directly in line with the DECLINE of your GIFT – the decline of your feeling of shame is directly inline with YOUR DECLINE, AND THERE IS NOTHING MORE HORRIFIC IN THIS WORLD TO REALIZE ONE DAY THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DESTROYED YOURSELF, YOUR POTENTIAL TO DEVELOP, FOR LITTLE MORE THAN A CHEAP THRILL. Nobody wants to wake up one day and realize you have become a chain store mannequin, an exhibit at Madame Tussauds, a badly written caricature of yourself, AND everybody knows that – you have become another Johnny Depp, a freakshow within a freakshow, for all the world to see…
If that is you, then I’m truly sorry…, just know that the VERY common next step is to become a ‘Gifted Parasite’ (as the bullied always becomes bullys if they are weak and stupid), where you become like your parasites to keep going, indeed you become worse than them in the vampiric sense – YOU DO WAY MORE DAMAGE TO PEOPLE THAN THEY CAN. Its a very lonely path, because EVERYBODY HATES YOU, even we stop caring – no one even pretends to like you, its all b/s as you are lazy and vacuous, your life is the daily trading of favours, you spend most days trying to keep one step ahead of disaster whilst seeking out cheaper and cheaper thrills – you become a curse. I know this variant of Gifted well, indeed I get it a lot because there is a lot of it out there, so the advice below is both well meant and VERY REAL, but never underestimate how much YOU are the cause of this unconsciously – you bring it on yourself by your behavior.
Not going to go on about it here as this is the Shame test bit and I’ve written a whole post about it before, BUT here is the 2 para version (sorry it’s a bit COLD, but hey, here you are again…) Much as it is unlikely you can be helped, it is not impossible, as sometimes the ‘worst ‘ are the strongest, and frankly, this is not about what you have done, it’s about what level of Power you still have… its about the origin of your gift, your Essence, your Ancestors, its about what is driving this, it’s about ‘… I’m what’s left, I’m what’s right, I’m the enemy…’, (Sorry, Foo Fighters). So don’t GET DOWN and DESPERATE, you are reading this so it is not over yet, where there is life, there is hope, particularly when you are prepared to ‘kick some ass’, like many of us are, hell we even enjoy it, as animal parasites are debt free in our world, they have no honor, so they are literally ‘Vermin’ – Old French/Latin that means weak little worms that suck like the life out of the strong in order to live, otherwise they die = animal parasites.
So do the shame test until you can remember how ‘you used to feel’, if successful developing yourself is still possible (if you are still young, no later than 30s usually) but you can no longer trust yourself AT ALL, so you must find highly skilled help who you can trust to help break the VERY BAD blocks that this behavior creates – your life will feel like a prison, many things stop becoming ‘optional’, and people around you develop a hard edge, as they don’t give a shit about fucked up little you. For now just try and use Shame to ‘restore yourself’ over and over, if you can, start to learn to hate, even be disgusted by ‘old you’, even create a safe place to hide where you don’t need ‘old you’, a relationship usually – you will have felt this self-disgust before if you are highly gifted, you may even hate ‘old you’ and have created a safe space instinctively, which again is a good sign. The rest of it usually takes a lot of help from someone you trust, so go find it, just know that you will need to use Shame-driven Catharsis to get a lot HARDER, otherwise even good help will fail – you will backslide constantly because you are so weak and vulnerable.
I know you won’t have the Power you need to stop this backsliding at the start, so your only option is to get MAD DOG MAD, pick something bad in your life and ‘smash it all to peices’ as a sign both to yourself and others that you are serious, and there is no going back, damn them all, particularly the ones who advised you to NOT change, as they are always the worst – they are using you for their own ends, and always deserve what happens to them, NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS, KNOW ITS INEVITABLE, ITS JUST YOUR STUPIDITY HAS BEEN DELAYING IT FOR YEARS. No Left-Hand path type loses sleep over parasites, often we don’t even notice, it’s just evolution working its magic, try and see it like this, the long overdue fumigation of your life, and try not to ‘miss it’ in some pathetic, attention-seeking way, as for many of you this is the actual cause of it, as YOU are causing it, by chasing this variant of Catharsis, so shut that down and then minimize it in your mind, make it small, stop and go on like IT NEVER HAPPENED is often the best way, particularly if you are such a pussy you are scared of even your own shadow. I don’t mean to be harsh, but lets face it – you deserve it, don’t you, but not because of what you done, but because you are too weak and stupid to make the change, even though most of this type actually try to, when their decline becomes obvious even to them. Try and see it like that, try and be disgusted by what you are ‘becoming’, in a very real sense, let your skin ‘crawl’ – if you can’t do that then reading the rest of this post is pointless, so please just fuck off…
Grand, so the other bit on parasites is for those who cannot get rid of them, particularly the real fruit loops or creepy little gangs of them, who are trapped by their fear of what these meaningless dorks might do… so so here is that advice, brace yourself…
Right, first you should know first that there is an explosion of this stuff in the Western world just now – you are one of many, MANY people who have become trapped by DORKS or who have decided you don’t want to be part of some creepy little gang, anymore AND NEED TO LEAVE, but you can’t. SO KNOW RIGHT NOW THAT PARASITIC DORKS BECOME ADDICTED TO GIFTED FOLKS, particularly the really creepy ones, the Gifted Parasites, who are the worst. You must ACT NOW – ONCE YOU START TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL YOU WILL SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO DO MORE. The key is to ESCALATE to get rid of these people IF THEY HAVE BECOME DESPERATE – find out where they work, who owns it or who the board members are, who their boss is, all their failed relationships in work, what illegal-looking stuff they have done, particularly what they used to call ‘Criminal Enterprise’ – you might find they have a little group of wannabe Parasites in a creepy little gang and then they are in REAL TROUBLE LEGALLY, AS IT IS GROOMING. Particularly find out if there are any ‘suicides’ at their work or ex-partners/relatives, any major mental health issues that needed time off work – put a file together with everything they have sent you and keep it handy, RECORD EVERYTHING.
Remember YOU can go to a LAWYER, go to a Private Investigator, get some free advice, particularly one who lives in their town, you don’t need to throw a breeze block through the window, stick a carving knife in their front door, have their pride and joy stolen off the drive and burnt out on a beach, talk to someone else to help get rid of them or get some else to get rid of them for you BY SHOWING YOU ARE PREPARED TO BURN THEM – ESCALATE. Bad Parasites ultimately FEED OFF ‘control’ and ‘humiliation’, the parasitic activity becomes secondary, so know what they are really getting from you is a POWER TRIP, they don’t like you, they are using you, YOU ARE A VICTIM, so never glamorize parasitic stuff, never think there is some benefit to it, see it for what it is – the primary Cathartic mechanism is that you get MORE ATTENTION FROM DORKS which is shit and encourages even more parasites, so you must stop.
Honestly, crushing these bugs feels really good, even if you need to do it all anonymously, but if you can’t bring yourself to fight you can ALWAYS go to the Law way more easily than you think too, as many of these people have a BIG HISTORY, and when they threaten you with revenge you HAVE THEM, as that’s prison time. Remember many of these types are simple MIDDLE-CLASS PUSSIES, gutless little wankers who prey on your weakness, and they don’t last long in prison, so BLOCK THEM, GET MEAN, VICIOUS EVEN, USE VERY STRONG LANGUAGE, as the delusional little twats often think to themselves that you want this really, they are just ‘encouraging’ you, so be CLEAR WHEN YOU DON’T, tell them NO, that you would rather be DEAD, you loathe them, they are repulsive, and particularly INFORM THE ONES WHO PRETEND TO BE NICE THAT YOU THINK THEY ARE TRASH, you need better friends for this stuff…
Don’t fall into the TRAPS, you will get STUCK, the worse ones are always ‘its not so bad’ or ‘obligation’ or ‘its my fault’ or ‘glorified prostitution’ traps – particularly if you have taken money or drugs, did illegal shit or went a long with it when you were in a bad place, even involved others in your place, as it actually makes it MUCH worse for them by showing its really not a failed relationship and they are REPEAT PARASITES – this level of shit ‘ends’ them, as its one of the DARKER CHARACTER STAINS FROM WHICH THERE IS NO RECOVERY. Try not to involve the criminal classes or the bad guys from the pub, unless you consider them family, as you can lose control very quickly, much as many folks make a good living off this kind of work they can be dangerous people who go much farther than you intended, stick to PI’s as they are usually bored ex-cops/military who know how things work, or leave that stuff as a last resort.
YOU MUST ACT, no more dreaming of a savior who will ride in and save you, BECAUSE EVEN IF THAT HAPPENS THEY ARE USUALLY AN EVEN BIGGER PARASITE, and turn out to be FULL OF SHIT, useless little Walter Mitties even if they are not. So, go get on with it NOW, honestly, you have little to lose, and everything to gain… and if you can’t then why would we or anyone else help you, there is nothing really there is help…
Lastly, the particularly common case of LIKING/NEEDING your Parasites, often the BIGGEST EXCUSE YOU TELL YOURSELF, to cover the fact you can not get rid of them because you are scared, even though you don’t need or like them ANYMORE. This is heavily linked to the ‘Quid Pro Quo’ approach to life where you trade favors quite happily, which many gifted types become addicted to… like it’s your ‘super-power’, your go-to strategy for anything difficult in life, which is fine as long as it is optional. See we have NO MORAL position here on the Left-Hand path, but you must understand why that is, in this case, to avoid making BAD mistakes, as this lifestyle can actually turn otherwise perfectly harmless little animals into PARTICUARLY DISTURBED, ADDICTED PARASITES. Yep, much as there is an explosion of it right now it has been going on from the beginning of time, indeed it echoes such a fundamental aspect of spiritual life and therefore dominates the higher levels of business and society, where everything is a form of trading favors – NOTHING IS DONE ON PURE MERIT at these levels, a set level of ‘Merit’ is just the barrier to entry, you need more than that to succeed in this world.
Let me explain VERY BRIEFLY, so know that I am going to keep this very simple to avoid confusion, so don’t write in to tell me I’ve missed bits out… Now you may have noticed that any commentary on this style of behavior is CONSPICOUSLY ABSENT on this Blog, indeed most 4th wayers don’t comment on it for a VERY good reason – it is complex and hence easy to MISINTERPRET what I’m about to tell you, and is best done as a one to one session. See at an optional level, there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS IF YOU ARE GIFTED – you are actually acting out what is happening at a spiritual level in terms of the energy exchange mechanism involved in every day life, that is going on anyway. Indeed, Hedonists who have done this a lot are MUCH EASIER TO TEACH, as the patterns you need (once you have mastered some form of Catharsis) are already cut into you via this behavior – you get at a fundamental level that you have to ‘pay for things’ you want to with energy, so at a higher level of understanding the 3rd force that decides every outcome of every transaction in your life is that energy, or lack thereof. However, it is VERY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND that this mechanism is an ‘exchange of value’, it is NOT PARASITIC, you get what you pay for, whereas with any Parasitic transaction YOU GET NOTHING BACK, so they act as a drain on you, over and over again, which is why Parasites have to GO.
Obviously, the major issue with the Quid Pro Quo trip is when this little game stops becoming optional and you get trapped in some type of situation by an animal parasite that has decided to focus on ‘you’ particularly, and becomes ‘difficult’ to deal with, often escalating and turning everything into a favor you have to pay for. In this way they think they are protecting themselves from any adverse legal judgment as ‘you’ want to do this for some benefit – you are doing it ‘willingly’, even if you know that in reality, you have no choice, ‘you’ convince yourself you just have to suck it up to ‘get by’ – YOU BECOME INCREASINGLY TRAPPED. The more toxic parasites will start to lie and manipulate everything around you to achieve the goal of another favor you OWE (or implied but never said threat), for some B/S they did not even do. They OFTEN PRETEND THEY ARE BEING NICE TO HELP YOU, this is a pain for them kinda, so you feel obligated AND believe you cannot get help because you ‘wanted’ this, they just told you the price, they are ‘good’ really, which is all total, and usually highly transparent shite.
So be clear – you cannot engage in the Quid Pro Quo lifestyle if you are going to start development, even if you think some of them maybe Gifted and therefore there is an actual exchange of value. Methods of stopping this are very well-trodden ground for you I’m sure, so I only going to cover the x2 bad ones in detail – most animals will simply accept you are stopping at face value, or take your (manufactured) change in circumstances at face value, even if you have to stop slowly by cleaving to an authority figure for protection, who you then dispose of later (given you have picked a weak, stupid dork who is easy to get rid of), or just cut them off altogether if you wish, just as long as you never have to deal with them again. However, for a certain type of simple, nasty, uglier animal they may not get the message and turn into what folks like me call a STALKER PARASITE – they have become obsessed with you, because they can never replace you and you have become the magic in their lives, as otherwise they are NOTHING. See you have changed them from a dork/skank into a proper little wanna be gangsta, they are cool now (not), and that is what they now think life is, their life is YOU – you are all the value in their otherwise valueless lives.
The way you deal with these requires a change in attitude that many find difficult but works every time – THREATEN THEM. Tell them they are a STALKER, that they are NOT WELCOME IN YOUR LIFE AND IF THEY DON’T STOP ITS THE MOTHERFUCKING LAW. Do not piss about with these people, remember they are dorks, and DORKS SCARE EASY if you get them early enough, but you MUST SCARE THEM, otherwise they will tell themselves all kinds of crap about you to make it ‘ok’, ie they love you, you love them/need them, they are helping you, protecting you from other parasites, you owe them money for something, or even worse twisted psycho shit. So get mad and be VERY CLEAR the time has passed, you don’t care about their sob story (they always have one…) you just want them gone, indeed tell them you would rather be dead than see them again. ‘If they come back after that’, you ask? Almost never happens but if they have emotional/addiction problems and are already ‘in trouble’ it can do, so then you need to actually call the Law, as they just might be dangerous…
Now I hear you say, not very interesting really eh, all well-known and frankly stereotypical stuff, hardly worth writing it. And you are right.. the above is simply the intro to a FAR MORE PROBLEMATIC SITUATION THAT ARISES FROM THESE ACTIVITIES – what folks like me call the ‘Substitute Parasite’, a GIFTED one who gets other gifted to ‘fill in for them’, the clever type who thinks they can get all the benefit and use your stupid ass to pay for it. This is the No1 one way into becoming a Gifted Parasite, as they are using a particularly nasty mechanism to achieve this goal – they are ‘Sacrificing You’, your value, to get something THEMSELVES. This type is often a woman who believes herself to be VERY clever, devious and quite unpleasant as a personality (they are always running a con or other forms of lying) however they always turn out to be deluded, unhappy folks who start to struggle in later life, as they go the seed very quickly, get sick and often even more extreme – a state of your soul thing, as sacrificing other GIFTED in your place is a ‘special place in hell’ level crime against your own kind.
How to deal with them is real easy – CUT THEM OFF, LEAVE IF NECESSARY, at a high level they folks are narcissistic to the point there can be no ongoing contact, you must dispose of them permanently, it is the only way, even if it costs you. DO NOT TALK TO THESE PEOPLE – THEY WILL ALWAYS TRY AND MANIPULATE YOU, and at enhanced levels of gift this can get to the point where they actively seek your destruction, usually for some B/S like you have something they want, have stolen something from them, or frankly just because they can. Be very aware, they will gaslight you at a professional level, as they believe you are stupid, you are nothing, you are fodder for the animals – when you see it, WHEN THEY ASK YOU OVER and OVER TO ‘HELP THEM OUT’, SCREAM AT THEM. At a high, repeat level this is one of the VERY worst forms of Clever Parasite and is all but impossible to help at even the early stages as this is a shit stain on your soul which does not really come out.. If you have done this yourself, (just once or twice when you HAD to) then you must USE IT TO DRIVE YOUR SHAME AS A FORM OF CATHARSIS OVER AND OVER, YOU MUST FEEL THE INTENSE SHAME OF SACRIFICING OTHERS AND VOW TO MOVE ON. Otherwise, you are done.
So the extreme feeling of SHAME stuff now…
So get ready then, don’t brace against this, don’t list out your excuses, don’t deny it, FIND YOURSELF AND YOUR PARASITES below and then imagine, through some real world, accidental or on-purpose mechanism of your choice that this ‘got out’, that you have to tell your mother, your kids, your cancer-ridden partner on their death bed say, imagine all the other kids in your kid’s school knowing and showing their parents say, of the point and staring strangers who suddenly recognize you in the pub and start sniggering say, whatever you like really, JUST MAKE SURE YOU FEEL THIS, read the Catharsis section of this post again if you have forgotten how to feel it, lets see if you see yourself amongst these tales of the Gifted and their Parasites, below…
But first… what is ‘extreme’…. ok, there is lots of types of extreme, SO DON’T FOCUS ON FITTING YOURSELF TO A TYPE, find some aspect of yourself below and feel it. I’ve even done you the courtesy of writing this down, have I not – YOU MUST START THIS YOUR FUCKING SELF, TO BE WORTH HELPING, then you will be helped IF YOU ASK. See anyone who intervenes is just an older, nastier parasite looking for a quid pro quo, looking to put ‘a collar and lead’ on you, so they are even worse than the others…
Just remember once you become desperate it will be impossible to help you on this path.
Why is it impossible you ask…? So let’s be clear… the desperate, the wasted are the people who develop a very INTERESTING relationship with the truth, so ‘interesting’ that they no longer know what the truth IS anymore… They are delusional, they repress their secret little life to the extent that they often deny it to themselves, their relationship with sex and sexuality has become so fetishized that they simply can’t have normal relationships anymore, their addictions have destroyed their health to the extent they are no emotionally longer stable, they are compelled to follow their mood swings, however extreme. Trust me it is a truly AWFUL experience to try and help someone like that, as all you can do is try and make them stronger, give them a fluffy, personal version of spirituality to use as a fake comfort blanket, get them back to some kind of reality and wish them well. There is literally nothing else, as there is really nothing left TO help… see that is the key reason I NEVER teach the desperate, no matter how amazing they were BEFORE they became desperate, for some even as early as in their early 30s… hell, in the end, it all becomes THE attention seeking game, you can’t believe a word they say so to help them at all is just to smile, pretend and simply comfort them with pointless platitudes…
So… let’s show you to yourself, AGAIN, shall we, so you can see yourself, maybe just a little anyway… see all of what follows as a SHAME test, ‘see’ if you ‘care’ about yourself, or whether your life is all about doing the least possible for the cheapest thrill, while chasing comfort, ‘working from home’, ‘dialing it in’, as your only real ‘goal’… So you know I hate to do this, but come on… somebody has to tell you the truth… so when you recognize some of yourself in the paras below, don’t be mad, just try and feel the SHAME of it, at your ‘old you’ and let the truth burn, like you are a ‘sword in the forge’, let that SHAME cook you… May even help get your ass off that overstuffed ‘Chesterfield’ too, so just know that if what you read below eventually ‘works’ for you, it will be remembered as a very great kindness, however you react to it now, as this is why you CAN’T START…
See, we know you find all of this BORING, awkward, frustrating, tedious because that is what YOU ARE now, what you have become – another irritated hamster skipping along on the wheel of your petty animal wills with the conscious level of a fruit fly, you are ‘small time’, vulnerable… I know, its NOT YOUR FAULT, NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT REALLY, IS IT, HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS? See, you have no choice, you are one more little stereotype, fretting about your SECRETS, your ‘money’, your platform, your relationships, your job, your fetishes, your increasingly cheap thrills, your profile, I mean why the fuck did no one like that last insightful little post, even that artfully provocative pose on your last fake holiday pic barely got a blue heart or 2, the bastards – maybe try another ‘Ass Grab’ pic next time eh?
Hang-on… Damn…. ARE YOU CREEPY? Have you suddenly got old, plain, chubby, are you NORMAL now, just 1 of millions like you, much as they are all so much younger, have better make-up, clothes that fit, cosmetic procedures that actually fucking worked… or is everyone else just that much better looking than hard-faced little you, with your thin lips, bad updo, last years coat and tacky watch…? Shit… maybe you are losing it…. all that free hedonistic fun of your meaningless little existence IS coming to THE end. Lets face it eh… they just sneer when you dress like a ‘party girl’ in the office these days, that tight blue suit just makes you look like the Michelin man… see you are infamous now, ‘your reputation proceeds you’, and it’s so much more fun to just humiliate the frantic coke head, bait the funny drunk, point and stare at the ‘oldest swinger in town’, trick out the company ‘welcome wagon’, is it not…? Errrr… so maybe you are slowly ‘fading to black’ then, where your colleagues are nervous to be in a room with you, your boss spends 5 short, embarrassing minutes telling you just to ‘do your best’ when you ask for help, in a loud voice in the canteen, before faking an urgent call they have to take. But no panic attacks for you eh… YOU ARE CLEVER, sure you have worked out there is a solid 3 months before your utter incompetence and lack of ANY engagement on Teams calls gets you ‘spoken too’, plus those 2 managers know how much ‘fun’ you are after the last conference, glad you kept the messages eh, and so nice of that disturbing ‘engineer’ to have your top dry cleaned and ready for the morning…. shame you don’t really remember anything except those vague flashbacks of people clapping, shame about that ‘discharge’ and having to stay with your mum afterward, but no matter, YOU ARE CLEVER… maybe just watch out for when the older staff start gas lighting you a ‘nice way’, however toxic they know you are behind their backs, however annoying all those ‘swinging’ and nose squeezing innuendos are… But its cool, YOUR CLEVER… are you not?
No.. not you? Ahhhhh….. maybe you are literally becoming your parents, you row with your screens for no reason, like they can actually hear your dumb ass, so desperate to be right, so ask yourself… ‘do I feel clever’…? Ahh well… maybe stop reading this and actually go and watch cat videos now, or maybe that ‘sexy laidee’ who does yoga in a short dress and stockings, hell… sure there is a really good episode of GOT series 3 you have to watch again, or some lingerie ‘try on haul’ from your favorite, if heavily modified and totally fake micro-influencer you have not watched yet…? Go on.. post something on your chat group, anything really, just use a pic from years ago, one that actually got a reaction, and then ‘they’ might like you, again, so everything will be ok, for another day, as you clearly still exist, surprisingly. No? Ahhh… so you REALLY don’t want to be your parents, you watched so much TV you actually want to be ‘drug dealer’, your some IT dork who takes shit everyday so it’s getting expensive, so why not do some petty dealing to pay for it eh, why not push it on your friends and relatives, on those cool kids from the pub so they let you in their gang… cause you are a ‘gangsta’ now are you not, all those games you play, cartoons and hentai porn you watch don’t matter anymore, you have ‘respect’ now, ‘street cred’, but you’ve ‘gotta get paid’, cause all the stuff you took from your last buy is going to be a problem, when the bill comes due, but you know where the petty cash is at work, so get a quick couple of hundred from there to tide you over… Maybe if you go wait in the toilets it will help eh, expand your customer base, just hope that those big bear types don’t take you for a ‘rent boy’ eh, or the local postcode boys and the fucking yardies don’t start to see you as an annoyance. But at least you get free bjs from the street whores and barstaff, shame they look so bored doing it eh, but don’t worry, just give that pretty little receptionist at work enough credit and she will eventually have to let you anally rape her, maybe film it to for that amateur porn site the cool kids use, ..so funny to see your old crush on there, and they made her say her name for the camera too so the bloody law won’t believe her ‘crying’ when she tries that link with her name on it you sent anonymously… snooty bitch turned you down and now look at her, humiliated, but she deserved it, almost worth the cost of that Ruffie shit you got them to spike her drink…
Damn, so much fun to be COOL, finally, can’t believe you used to be some winging INCEL eh, what a joke, when all you need in this life is leverage over these bitches…how CLEVER are you… now just how the fuck are you going to pay these dealers back, your credit cards are max’d and you’ve nothing left to pawn except your dads gold watch, god rest his soul, but no matter, sure he would understand, he was never ‘cool’ either…such a SHAME he never graduated to a toxic, drug-addicted dork-level sexual predator like you hey, he would not have ended up dying alone in Hospice after choking on his vomit then, SHAME you only heard a couple of months later when you phoned your aunt to ask for money to help your bestie Mikey out, but know he probably won’t need it now, as they don’t have the evidence to charge him, hell everyone knows teenage festival girls only wear dresses that short if they WANT to be ‘upskirted’, sluts just love attention, even when they start shouting and screaming for the Police. So clever of Mikey to find out where they lived so you could post dog shit through their front door when he was clearly at work, scared the shit out of em… Mikey is such a ‘dude’, shame about the HIV test, must of been those Thai whores from his gap year who robbed him, evil bitches…But its ok… his mother said if he goes to rehab this time she won’t disinherit him, but he has to stay away from family gatherings until his sister forgives him for that drunken ‘facts of life talk’ he had with his little neices, thank fuck she did not check his phone afterward mind, as those pictures were SO COOL, and worth a bloody fortune… No idea why the cool kids from the bar did not like them, why poured your pint over you, why they said you were a FUCKING FREAKSHOW, A CHILD MOLESTER, A FUCKING PERVERT and should stay away OR they will ‘kick your fucking head in’, sure they will come round when they need some gear mind.
Damn it’s good to be COOL… but you are not are ‘you…’, because you are a broke, desperate, perverted, unemployable, isolated, Fentanyl-addicted PIECE OF SHIT, sitting on the floor of your rat hole studio flat in a puddle of your own piss, waiting for ‘them’ to kick the door in, and you suspect it might be quite painful this time – No matter how hot your braindead GF looked dressed up in that latex Poison Ivy cosplay outfit you made her wear if she wanted more gear, I’d say the engagement is probably off now, freaky she liked you hitting her so much eh… Ahhh well, when you get out of hospital this time you can always write a book and list out all the ways Society failed you, how the Social, the Doctors, the Police just left you to your own devices, yet they knew what slave to your own demons you are, but really if they ask anyone who knows you they say you’re a nice guy, cause they bought weed from you so many times, hell you even gave some of them a discount. Shit, maybe you should try the transgender thing, Mikey says there is good money in it, and you are automatically seen as GOOD, and lets face it, you are going to need a major fucking line to bounce back from this one. You must remember to ask Mikey, hope he gets a new mobile soon and sends you his number like he said he would when you passed in the street yesterday, he is such a mate, you know he will get away with that criminal damage thing, sure he looked so cool smashing up their family car on the live stream, and you only told the police where you thought he was that night, he knows you are not a rat really, you’d take a bullet for him if you had too.. Ohhh, shit…. jesus, they don’t half look pissed with you this time, c’mon guys, you can’t make any money with 2 broken legs can you………. (no sorry, I don’t know him, he just some bar fly who thinks he’s gangsta because he MANIPULATES GIRLS WITH DRUGS FOR SEX…)
Not you?… ahhhh, so you traded in your individuality when you realized you’re a ‘freakshow’ and being ‘you’ was a big ass mistake… so you are part of the HERD now… you have become #bekind, a ‘compassionate narcissist’, a nice Nazi, forcing your views on folks who disagree with you because they are wrong and you are right, therefore ‘they not Nice’, BAD people, so you try and get them sacked, as dorky little you becomes drunk with the ‘new’ power of your squad, you are finally someone now, threatening things you could NEVER do in real life, but its such a THRILL to post it, BE BIG, have a cause, is it not, yet your precious ‘moral virtue’ is so clearly ‘Unearned’… Ahhhh, maybe its more simple eh, like you…. your just a creepy OLD one now, and all your screens have turned you into Walter Mitty, everything is one big Heroic fantasy, you save the day, over and over again, ‘intervening’ to save the country, your friends, the ‘lost souls’, while strangely actually doing nothing, AT ALL, you just stand in the background with all the other parasites, clapping… Not even that ‘sophisticated’? Ahhh…. so you are just one more poor, ugly unhappily married with children type who has figured out that if you cause the bored, vulnerable little office girls just enough anxiety they will eventually send you ‘NUDES NOW’, whenever you continually ‘tap your phone’ in the next weekly catch up, and I’m sure no one notices the stains or how much time you spend in the disabled cubicle… But then you would just be an animal, would you not, but no matter… because you don’t matter, just as long as you are insignificant enough and don’t mention the ‘others’ no one is going to bother, hell people even avoid saying your name these days, you’re the office sleaze after all…
Hey, chin up, don’t worry… I KNOW you are better than that, its the same for everybody, just get married, get divorced, create some drama, hell have kids, find a ‘charitable challenge’ as a background for your sexy pics, go to another festival in your mid 30s just so you can take all the gear you want, get sick, get arrested, get a cause, monetize your failure, stick your fucking hands to the pavement… you are on your own generic Social Media ‘Hero’s’ journey are you not, you’re on a well-researched, popular ‘bandwagon’, people ‘like you’, respect you FOR IT… don’t they? Ahhh… don’t worry, maybe you just need better friends, a new fan club, or maybe your friends need shot of nasty, manipulative, self-obsessed little you… The SHAME of it eh? Ahhh well, DON’T WORRY… maybe just get drunk again, smoke some of that superstrength weed your brother gave you, all safe and secure by yourself AT HOME, AGAIN, shake your ass in a TikTok no one will see, fantasize about what ‘you should of done’ until you believe you actually did do it, ‘complete’ another video game, pretend you are ‘riding in the hot sun, feeling like a someone…’ again, eh, worked last time… Yes, go on then, drink and take drugs until it all goes away, dance around and sing show tunes into that bargain white wine you got on sale from Lidl… pretend you are dangerous, pretend you are cool, pretend you are a ‘lethal weapon’, pretend that tomorrow you will take over the world, pretend the object of your obsession knows you are alive, pretend your partner is not having the same tedious, sweaty, 1o sec hook-ups at work that you are, pretend they actually care and believe your lies, will get you through another cold and wet w/e you won’t remember, will it not?
But don’t BLOODY worry, just continue to dream about cutting everyone off and start planning that move abroad, again, with that next imaginary crush in that long line of ones you keep ‘tabs’ on before realizing that they, too, are a vacuous tool that does not give a shit about you. Hell, why would they… you are famously easy so where is the value in having you, you are #cringe… so start that Onlyfans you have always dreamed off, hell all those new friends just waiting and they will actually pay you, plus you have enough pics for years ALREADY, winner winner chicken dinner eh? Then cash in your what’s left of your crypto, dye your hair, max out your credit cards, get on a plane and disappear, sure that will work out this time. Hell don’t even tell anyone, just ghost the dumb little fuckers, and if they get upset, like last time, you can always just get on your knees and beg when they threaten you, like last time…
BUT do, please, remember to KEEP pretending… pretend that no one you know shares your secrets every day for fun, no one is competitive, no one wants what you have, no one is jealous of your GIFT, and hates you for it no matter what you DO FOR THEM… See you MUST keep pretending, pretend that you are a good, loyal, faithful person, that all this is justified, that bad things YOU DID ‘never happened’, so you must keep singing your theme tune… ‘better not look down, if you want to keep on flying, put the hammer down and keep it full speed ahead…’ Know I once did, kept me trapped for years longer than it ‘should of done’, but then I was such a vicious bastard…(sorry BB King). See if you don’t keep pretending, you may be stupid enough to look down and ask, ‘Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest…’… and you REALLY won’t like the answer… So, DON’T FUCKING WORRY honey bunny… get that ‘chin up’, and know it does not matter you are a fake, creepy, two-faced little caricature, as no one gives a damn, not even you… much as I’m sure you can think of ‘something’ to make them ‘notice you’, again… Hell, ask that terribly woke, tattooed, LGBT/RACE/DOG/CAT/CHILD/MENTAL HEALTH/ACCEPTABLY LEFTWING proof, and really friendly social media coach (who is an ex-stripper too old for OF and thinks YOU are a sleazy twat), sure they will have some ideas of what da fuck everyone else is doing that they will happily sell you. Hey, all else fails there is always those magic pills your Dr gave you last time, where you can’t really remember anything, so all your problems are solved, just tell the good people who pay you that your ‘demons made you do it’, so they can have a chuckle at the HR Xmas dinner…
NOW… ALL A BIT HARSH EH?
YEP – IT IS…. SO SEE ALL OF THE ABOVE FOR WHAT IT IS – YOU CHASE A CHEAP, NASTY, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VERSION OF THE CATHARSIS YOU NEED BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO WEAK AND STUPID TO CHANGE AND DO IT THE RIGHT WAY. So you have become infested with parasites of every kind who are determined to stop you from changing, WHO BLOCK YOU AT EVERY TURN and you go along with it because YOU think they are cool, it’s glamorous, it’s exciting, it’s fun, it makes me special, it makes me important, it is my superpower.
IT’S NOT ANY OF THAT, ITS SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH.
SEE EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, all of the above is just a subset of all these shitty little scenarios between Gifted Hedonists AND their Parasites that have been going on since the beginning of fucking time….it’s not even interesting, see I only stopped writing because I got bored… And let’s face it… the shit some of you have done is so fucking disturbed no one would even believe it… But hey, feel free to go on with it if you wish, you are that BADASS are you not? Just remember the sage-like words of a long-dead old uncle of mine – ‘most ‘badass’ people are such gutless cunts, so you never feel sorry for them…’
Yep, maybe it is finally time to accept that taking the path of least resistance has turned you into a victim of every little parasite in the place, of these harmless little twats enforcing their truth on you, because can’t enforce yours – learn how to be MONSTER when necessary, read this whole post again if you don’t know what that means. Indeed, accept your whole life experience thus far is one long lesson in forcing you to accept that there is something else you HAVE to do, accept the need to change, to fight, as your society breeds cowards, so weak and so stupid that any repulsive little chancer can scare you into anything, hell they often tell you it was your idea, AND YOU BELIEVE THEM… BE A MONSTER or get someone else to be a monster for you.
USE YOUR SHAME – IT IS A MESSAGE FROM THE REAL YOU = IT IS CRUCIAL THAT YOU STOP DELUDING YOURSELF, THAT YOU ‘SEE YOURSELF’ IN THE REAL WORLD LIKE OTHERS DO, EVEN THE BITS YOU HAVE BLANKED OUT. EVERYTHING ABOVE IS ONE BIG SELF-DESTRUCTIVE ARC, IT’S NOT COOL NOW AND IT NEVER FUCKING WAS, IT HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK AND STUPID… FEEL THE SHAME OF IT, FEEL THE PITY… THEN ‘FIGHT’ FOR YOURSELF, FOR YOUR OWN TRUTH, SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH OF ‘OTHERS’.
So maybe its time, just a little… tiny… ‘maybe’, to have some SELF-RESPECT, YOU ARE GIFTED are you not… So there is actually hope, that all of the above, which used to be SO MUCH FUN, is ALL now just some terrible bad dream that you will, like Sleeping Beauty, eventually wake up from, as that is what that 4th way medieval Fairytale is ACTUALLY ABOUT… See… that is how this ACTUALLY WORKS, IF you can make the change, given that you are already ‘burning’, which however counter-intuitive it seems to you, IS actually YOUR ticket to Ride, indeed why we are ‘looking out for you’… But I digress…
Separate Quote to end this optional section: another audio-visual one for you, probably my favorite Gifted Hedonistic theme tune of the last few years, one where all the 4th wayers look down and chuckle to themselves… See the aspirational feeling of this song is ‘bang on’, almost the very definition of our world, but as the aspiring young actress said to the creepy old Director, ‘ohhh.. can I just stop you there, really admire your enthusiasm sir, BUT we don’t have long and you are doing this ALL wrong… that way is just never going to work…’ Words to live by (LOL..)… But DON’T WORRY – of course, you ‘don’t-need-nobody…. to save me…’, so go on, have a giggle, burn your ‘house’ down… again, go on…’I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker – burn it down one more goddamn time…’ (Sorry Jules…)
Convinced yet…No? Really…..? So just One last pop at it?
Don’t listen to anyone else, don’t take advice, see at the start spiritual development is a very personal thing, as any effect from others, ANY INTERFERENCE always works to STOP YOU, keep you down and in the hole of your hell, of your life-defining problem. It is always a mistake…
So go on, TRY, delude yourself that this is simply the dramatic ramblings of some OLD BASTARD trying to fix what happened way-back-when if you wish, BUT TRY ANYWAY… would say you owe both yourself and me that much by now, do-you-not.
