8th Secret – How to be an ADULT = ‘BOTTLE’, A Preface to Part 4 on CHANGE.

    AUTHORS NOTE – The intro to this post has been changed many times based on feedback that it did not hit hard enough to reach you, modern people, with your constant need for layer upon layer of explanation, as you need that fake feeling of cleverness it evokes in you TO SPUR YOU ON  – YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, SO YOU ARE STUCK IN ‘AN INVISIBLE TRAP’…

Now, YOU ASK…. what is ‘BEING A CHILD? 

BEING A CHILD IS TO HAVE ‘THE CHARACTER’ OF A CHILD, WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE ‘NO CONSCIOUS CHARACTER’. 

WTF? so what is MY CHARACTER then? 

YOUR ‘FAKE CHARACTER’ IS YOUR ‘CONDITIONED PREFERENCES’ WHICH YOU EXPERIENCE CONSCIOUSLY AS ‘INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS’.   

So what is THE CHARACTER OF A CHILD IF IT IS ‘NOT A CHARACTER’ ? 

THE ‘NO CHARACTER’ OF A CHILD IS TO BE CONTROLLED BY THE SAME ‘PREFERENCES’ AS ‘REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’ YOU DEVELOPED AS A CHILD.

But everyone is LIKE THIS, that’s is NORMAL, IT IS ‘HUMAN NATURE’? 

NO, TO BE CONTROLLED BY ANXIETY IS ‘THE HUMAN NATURE OF A CHILD’, SOME PEOPLE ‘STILL’ GROW UP, BECAUSE THEIR ‘LIFE FORCES THEM TO’…

So I am still A CHILD because I NEVER GREW UP as a KID? 

CORRECT, YOU ARE STUCK IN ‘THE MENTAL TRAP OF CHILDHOOD’, CAUSE YOU ‘BOTTLED GROWING UP’,  SO YOU STILL ‘FEEL LIKE A KID’, SO ACT LIKE KID…

But that is a good thing, I HAVE MORE FUN, as I AM NOT BURDENED WITH ‘RESPONSIBILITY FOR MYSELF’?

NO, ITS DUMB AS FUCK, as you are BURDENED WITH ANXIETY INSTEAD, so almost EVERYTHING YOU DO IS BASED ON A GENERIC ‘STRESS RESPONSE’.

Ahhh, that is JUST WHO I AM, and I’m fine with that, WHEREVER IT CAME FROM, ‘I’M COOL’, so whats the issue?

NO, YOU ARE NOT COOL, YOU ARE A FUCK UP, YOUR CONSCIOUS SELF AND FAKE UNCONSCIOUS CHARACTER ARE SEPARATE, SO YOU ARE BLIND, DELUSIONAL, YOU ‘KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO’ AS YOU DON’T REALLY ‘KNOW WHY YOU DO IT’.

Yeah, everyone’s DELUSIONAL mate, NO ONE REALLY KNOWS ANYTHING DO THEY, even you, we are here for a ‘GOOD TIME, NOT A LONG TIME’? 

NO, YOUR QUESTION ‘BETRAYS YOU’, AS ONLY A CHILD WOULD SAY THAT SHIT, in reality you want TO LIVE AS LONG A HAPPY LIFE as you can WITHOUT PAIN.

Sure, maybe so, BUT FRANKLY MATE YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT TO US, ALL THIS ‘PREACHING THE TRUTH’ is just another way of GETTING OFF, eh? 

NO, I AM AWARE OF MYSELF, SO ‘I DECIDE’, I AM NOT CONTROLLED BY ‘THE URGE’ TO ‘GIVE INTO’ URGENT, ‘SELF-DESTRUCTIVE PATTERN REACTIONS’ BASED ON FAKE EMOTIONAL INSTINCTS THAT I ‘LEARNED AS A CHILD’ IN ORDER TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM PREVIOUS ‘EMOTIONAL UPSET’ = EGO SAFETY. 

So I am not a child then! I don’t give into ‘childish urges’, I give into ‘Adult’ urges, its totally different, I don’t FEEL LIKE A CHILD ANYMORE, I’M DIFFERENT?

NO, IT IS THE EXACT SAME MECHANISM JUST DRESSED UP TO FEEL DIFFERENT, YOUR VERSION OF GROWING UP IS TO COMPENSATE YOURSELF FOR FAILING TO GROWING UP, THAT IS WHAT THE LIFE OF A BIG KID ‘IS’ – ‘THE CONSTANT CYCLE’ OF ‘THE SEARCH FOR RELIEF’ FROM ‘SELF TAUGHT ANXIETY’.

WOW, and you are the CLEVER ONE? Obviously I don’t want anxiety, I NEVER ‘taught myself to be anxious’ and don’t ‘inflict anxiety’ on my life, I WANT TO BE FREE OF ANXIETY, SO I WANT TO HAVE FUN ‘INSTEAD’, get it now?

NO, SEE I CAN SEE YOU ARE A PROPER HEDONIST, not a ‘PEEPING TOM’, so you have ‘PUSHED YOUR LIMITS TO EXTREMES’, and those extremes make you ANXIOUS, AS THAT IS THE POINT OF THOSE EXTREMES – THAT ‘SELF TAUGHT ANXIETY’ IS WHAT MAKES THOSE EXTREMES FUN, but it is the same mechanism for all your life, TO CHASE FUN IS TO CHASE EVEN MORE ANXIETY ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY’ THAT YOU then use TO ‘FORCE THE FUN’, get it now bitch?

REALLLLYYYYYYY, SO MY WHOLE LIFE IS A FORM OF ‘SADOMASOCHISM’, TO TORTURE MYSELF IN ORDER TO ENJOY ‘THE RELIEF FROM THAT TORTURE’, SO THE 2 STATES BLEND TOGETHER AND BECOME EVEN BETTER? – WOW THATS KINKY, and I thought you were a GOOD bad man...

NO, and if we can just PUT A PIN in your ‘pretend working class baddie’ for a moment, the polite way to say it is you ‘wear tight shoes for the pleasure of taking them off’, SO IN TIME YOU ‘PROJECT’ THE ‘PLEASURE OF RELIEF FROM TIGHTNESS’ ONTO THAT ‘TIGHTNESS ITSELF’, SO IT BECOMES ‘EXCITING’, ITS CALLED ‘PRE-CONDITIONING’, but you would say ‘ANTICIPATION’ – YOU ARE ONE OF ‘PAVLOVS DOGS’, EXCITED BY THE DINNER BELL, even when there is no actual dinner AND YOU WERE NOT EVEN HUNGRY BEFORE YOU HEARD THAT BELL. ALL ‘CONDITIONING’ IS ‘A CON’ TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE ‘A LIE’ AS A ‘TRIGGER TO ACT’.

So why are you BOTHERING THEN? – ITS STILL FUN WHEREVER IT COMES FROM, HOWEVER ‘THAT FUN IS CREATED’ DON’T MATTER- what is the point given EVERYONE I KNOW IS LIKE ME, A HAPPY FUCK UP, content to TRY AND MAKE ‘EXISTENCE FUN’, EVEN IF WE ‘GO TO EXTREMES’?

(Yawn..) NOOOOOOOO, YOU ARE DELUSIONAL, you are NOT HAVING FUN, YOU ARE COPING WITH ANXIETY, indeed if I were STILL A CHILD I WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU BY NOW – OBVIOUSLY USING ANXIETY TO CREATE FUN IS ‘SELF-DESTRUCTIVE’, and you NEED BE ‘ALIVE’ TO HAVE FUN, YOU DORK. The trick is to see that ‘YOU-ARE-NOT-HAVING-FUN’, YOU ARE ‘AMPLIFYING’ THE OTHERWISE PETTY ‘ANIMAL SENSATIONS OF RELIEF’ BY USING ANXIETY AS A ‘DRUG’.    

Lol… no offense mate but you are still A CHILD TOO, YOU STILL WANT TO FEEL BETTER JUST VIA ‘POWER’ INSTEAD OF FUN, so you are WORSE? 

NO, THE CHOICE OF POWER OVER ANXIETY IS WHAT AN ADULT IS DICKHEAD, you don’t need to be STALIN, but you do need TO ‘FEEL IT’ INSTEAD OF ANXIETY – YOUR FUN IS ONLY FUN BECAUSE IT STOPS YOU FEELING BAD, WITHOUT THAT ‘BASELINE ANXIETY’ YOUR FUN ‘ACTIVITY’ WOULD NOT BE FUN. ACTUAL ‘FUN’ COMES FROM THE ‘FEELING OF POWER’, WHICH YOU MAY ALSO KNOW AS ITS FAKE CHILIDISH VERSION VIA THE FEELING OF ‘PETTY CONTROL OVER OTHERS’, and as a BIG KID you will discover LATER ON you have a FAKE DESIRE TO COMBINE YOUR FUN WITH ‘CONTROL’, OR TO ‘BE CONTROLLED’. 

Ohh, LIKE AT SCHOOL, but I’ve still got nothing, I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND MY CHARACTER, how do I see that DIFFERENCE?

SO READ ON…  JUST KNOW FOR NOW ‘YOU ARE THE CONSCIOUS POINT’ YOU HAVE ‘RATIONALIZED AS GOOD’, THE POINT YOU TELL YOURSELF YOU WANT, ACTUALLY SUB-VOCALIZE AS A GOAL, BUT YOUR CHARACTER IS JUST WHAT ‘REACTS TO THAT GOAL’ WITH INSTINCTIVE FEELINGS YOU ‘DO NOT WANT’. What actually happens, what you actually do is the resultant VECTOR OF THOSE 2 FORCES COMBINED, much as even a STRONG DIRECTION OF YOUR GOAL IS USUALLY ‘PERVERTED’ by the CHILDISH EMOTIONAL POWER TO ‘REJECT’ THE ‘PROCESS OF THAT GOAL’.    

BUT THAT IS ME! THOSE FEELING ARE MORE ME THAN MY CONSCIOUS GOALS FROM SOME EXTERNAL SOURCE, THAT ‘ME’ TELLS ME WHAT ‘I DON’T WANT TO DO’, SO I AM SIMPLY BEING ‘AUTHENTIC’, WHEN I TRY AND FORCE MYSELF TO BE ‘INAUTHENTIC’ FOR SOME SOCIETAL GOAL IN THE FUTURE? 

NO, THAT IS TOTAL CRAP. The issue you have is you CANNOT SEE THE ‘ROGUE PROGRAMS’ RUNNING ALL THE TIME AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND THAT CONTROL WHAT YOU SEE AT THE FRONT OF ‘YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS’ – YOU MUST LEARN TO INTERVENE IN YOUR STREAM OF THOUGHTS, SO YOU CAN ‘PAUSE’ FOR ‘CONSCIOUS THOUGHT’. THEN YOU WILL SEE THE DIFFERENCE IN GREATER CONTRAST BETWEEN ‘CONSCIOUS THOUGHT’ AND ‘UNCONSCIOUS, FAKE INSTINCT’ which is not thought, IT IS ‘YOUR CONDITIONING’ INTERPRETING YOUR ‘FLEETING UNCONSCIOUS INSTINCTS’ BY LOOKING UP THE HISTORIC PATTERNS THAT GO WITH THAT INSTINCT AND TYPING THEM OUT ‘LIKE THOUGHT’ – ITS THE CON. So you ARE JUST BEING AUTHENTIC TO THE MISTAKES YOU MADE AS A KID, LIKE A SELF DESTRUCTIVE LITTLE BRAT WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT FEELING LESS ANXIETY NOW! Its not you, ITS ‘LEARNED’.

But why does it matter that it is ‘LEARNED’, WHO CARES – ITS ME NOW, LIKE IT OR LUMP IT, SO FRANKLY I’M GOING TO TRY AND LIKE IT, TO HAVE FUN ‘ITS WAY’, WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE – I SUFFER OTHERWISE, MY ‘INSTINCTIVE PREFERENCES’ MAKE ME SUFFER UNTIL SATISFIED – SO IT IS ‘REAL ME’ TODAY, ITS ME!

NO, IT IS NOT REAL YOU – YOU LOOK AT THIS FROM THE LEVEL OF ‘AN CRAWLING INSECT’ WHO CANNOT LOOK UP, SO YOU DON’T SEE WHAT IS ‘ABOVE YOU’. SEE IT THIS WAY INSTEAD – YOU LET THE CAR YOU ARE DRIVING AROUND IN ‘CONTROL YOUR WHOLE LIFE’, BECAUSE AS A CHILD YOUR LIFE WAS A TRAIN RIDE THAT YOU HAD NO CONTROL OVER AND SIMPLY SAT THERE WATCHING THE WORLD GO BY WHILST TRYING TO KEEP YOURSELF AMUSED. NOW YOU HAVE ‘YOUR OWN CAR’ AS ‘THE MACHINE OF YOU’, WHICH YOU COULD STEER AND CONTROL CORRECTLY AND ‘GO PLACES’, BUT YOU THE BIG KID IS STILL EXPECTING IT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO LIKE A TRAIN RIDE YOU CAN’T CONTROL, CAUSE YOU NEVER GREW UP.

FOR EXAMPLE I PUT A DESTINATION IN MY CAR SAT NAV AND GET BACK OPTIONS, THEN I MAKE CHOICES BASED ON TIME AND DISTANCE AND COST AND DIFFICULTY AND RISK, BEFORE DECIDING TO GO THERE AS IF I AM ALREADY THERE SO WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT OF EVER TURNING BACK BECAUSE I AM CONFIDENT THAT ‘I CAN DRIVE’ – THE GOOD AND BAD OF THE DRIVING PROCESS DON’T MATTER TO ME AS THEY ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL IN TERMS OF THE DESTINATION. BUT YOU PUT A DESTINATION IN AND GET BACK ‘FUCK OFF BITCH, I’M DON’T WANT TO GO THERE – ITS TOO FAR AWAY – I WANT TO GO HERE INSTEAD, SO LETS DRIVE AROUND WILDLY TURNING FROM RIGHT TO LEFT TO SEE THE PRETTY THINGS AND AVOID UGLY THINGS ON THIS ROAD TO NOWHERE WHILE ACTUALLY GOING IN NEVER ENDING SET OF CIRCLES IN THE HOPE WE GET SOMEWHERE GOOD BY RANDOM FUCKING CHANCE ONE DAY!!!!’. UNDERSTAND – YOU ARE EXPECTING A ‘VERY SIMPLE MACHINE MADE OF PATTERN REACTIONS’ YOU PROGRAMMED YOURSELF TO DO NOTHING BUT BE ‘EGO-SAFE’ AS A CHILD TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR WHOLE LIFE BY LETTING IT ‘CONTROL YOUR DECISIONS IN THE MOMENT’?  

THATS BOLLOCKS! Yes I see the analogy in myself in terms of having CHILDISH FUN, but there are loads of things I HAVE TO DO, SO I HAVE GOALS, I HAVE A JOB, RELATIONSHIPS, OBLIGATIONS, my whole life is NOT FUN, ALL THAT OTHER STUFF ‘PAYS FOR THE FUN’ in one way or another?

NO – YOU ARE AN INSECT WHO CANNOT LOOK UP BECAUSE YOU NEVER ‘GREW UP’, YOU DON’T KNOW ANOTHER ‘WAY OF BEING’ EVEN EXISTS, all that stuff you list ‘YOU DO OUT OF FEAR’ of some loss or other type of suffering, WHICH IS EXACTLY THE SAME MECHANISM – THE LIFE OF A SLAVE ANIMAL. YOU MUST GROW OUT OF THINKING YOUR CHILD IS YOU – OF FEELING LIKE A CHILD SO THINKING LIKE A CHILD AND SO ACTING LIKE A CHILD INFECTS YOUR WHOLE LIFE. ITS ALL FEAR THEN RELIEF FROM FEAR’ BASED, ANIMAL ANXIETY AND ITS REFLECTION ANIMAL DESIRE DRESSED UP TO LOOK ‘MATURE’ INSTEAD OF CHILDISH, PERVERTED, DIRECTIONLESS, CHAOTIC – MOMENTARY URGES THAT COMBINE TO GIVE ‘A RESULT OF NOTHINGNESS’ – BECAUSE THERE IS NO CHANGE, NO MOVING FORWARD, NO POSITIVE OUTPUT, YOUR COMFORTS ARE SIMPLY A REFLECTION OF YOUR SUFFERING, BECAUSE IT CREATES THEM.

YOU MUST GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CAN CLEARLY SEPARATE ‘WHAT YOU WANT’ AGAINST ‘WHAT IT DOES NOT WANT’, AS THEN YOU WILL SEE YOU EXIST OUTSIDE OF THE FEELINGS OF YOUR MEAT – YOU ARE ‘NOT YOUR CAR’, YOUR CAR IS A ‘CONDITIONED ANIMAL YOU RIDE’, SO IT IS STUPID TO TAKE ITS PATHETIC RAMBLINGS SERIOUSLY – YOU DECIDE, IT FOLLOWS YOUR ORDERS, SHOULD YOU EVER ACTUALLY GIVE IT ANY. See the issue you can’t see right now is that YOU ARE ‘PROCESS ORIENTATED’ LIKE A CHILD WHO HAS TO BE AMUSED AND SCARED INTO DOING ANYTHING MOMENT TO MOMENT, WHILST I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT MY ANIMAL PREFERENCES ARE REGARDING THE PROCESS, I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE GOAL, SO AM ‘GOAL ORIENTATED’. In a very real sense you must be led around like a donkey, continually cajoled with either carrots or sticks or both, OTHERWISE YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING AT ALL, whilst I ACTUALLY prefer to suffer for what I want, as that way I WILL GET TO IT QUICKER.     

As in the ‘LORD IS MY SHEPHERD I SHALL NOT WANT’, all a bit ‘SPIRITUAL’ now, eh, bit WOO WOO for a bad bastard like you? SUFFERING NOW, REALLY?

NO, YOU ARE ‘DEFLECTING’ LIKE A BITCH BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ANSWER TO THIS ARGUMENT AND SO ATTACK IT FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE, WHICH IS THE CLASSIC ‘LAST REFUGE OF A SCOUNDREL’. BESIDES – THE NEO-BUDDHISM YOU THINK IS SPIRITUALITY IS THE CURSE OF THE WESTERN WORLD, A FAKE MORALITY FOR SLAVES. YOU ARE ABOUT TO LEARN A SYSTEM WHICH IS BASED ON ‘THE TRUTH BEHIND CHRISTIANITY’, AS THAT IS ‘THE MYSTERY CULT OF MITHRA’, THE ANCIENT PATH OF SENIOR ROMAN SOLDIERS THAT ONCE DOMINATED THE EMPIRE, THE PATH OF PERSONAL EXCELLENCE, BASED ON THE MORALITY OF WHAT MAKES ME ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU, DRIVEN BY THE DESIRE TO SURVIVE COMBAT.

THERE IS NO SPIRITUALITY AT ALL, THAT COMES LATER, AS ‘YOU CAN ONLY DO SPIRITUALITY AFTER YOU HAVE GROWN UP’, INDEED ALL THE POWER OF YOUR BIRTHRIGHT IS DENIED YOU AS A BIG KID, BECAUSE THAT BIG KID STEALS IT FROM YOU. That continual theft will, in time, make it impossible for you to grow up, SO WE NEED TO CATCH YOU IN A ‘SWEET SPOT’ WHERE YOU HAVE ALREADY STARTED TO DOUBT YOUR LIFESTYLE CHOICES but before ALL YOUR ENERGY HAS BEEN DESTROYED BY THOSE SAME CHOICES, REPEATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BEFORE YOU BECOME DESPERATE. But we here on the 4th Way, the Lefthand path of real life are not very Christian, as that is a ‘slave religion’ and so ‘comforts weakness’, INSTEAD OF FACING WEAKNESS – YOU NEED TO HAVE THE STONES FOR THIS STUFF, that is why it works better for Hedonists…  

JESUS, I felt better about this when I thought it was Christian, NOW I’M FRANKLY A LITTLE ‘SUSPICIOUS’, you’re not going to drug, rape, kill and eat me, are you?

NO, AND PLEASE DO ‘FEEL BETTER’, THE ORIGINAL MYSTERY SCHOOL RELIGIONS ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL RELIGION, THIS ROMAN ONE IS THE SOURCE OF CHRISTIANITY, ALL THE DATES AND IMAGERY THEY FOLLOW IS DIRECTLY LIFTED, SO CHRISTIANS ARE ACTUALLY WORSHIPING ‘THE UNCONQUERED SUN’, SOL INVICTUS AS YOU WOULD OF ALREADY BEEN TOLD AT SCHOOL IF YOUR SOCIETY DID NOT FIND IT TOO EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT. THE EVEN GREATER IRONY, THAT THEY NOW BELIEVE IN A JEWISH CREATOR GOD, IS THAT THOSE ROMAN SOLDIERS KNEW THAT IT WAS ALL JUST IMAGERY TO HELP REMEMBER A PATH OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, WHICH ITSELF WAS ORIGINALLY PERSIAN, ARGUABLY ALSO THE SOURCE OF THE FAMOUS GREEK ONE.

Yeah, I got no interest mate, I BELIEVE IN THE SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY that is ‘PROGRESS’, much as I accept your ‘BONA FIDES’, it’s ALL JUST MYTH?

NO, YOU ONLY KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD OVER AND OVER AGAIN SO YOU BELIEVE IT, AS THAT IS ONE OF THOSE MASTER PATTERNS OF A CHILD, TO ACCEPT WHAT EVER YOUR CHOSEN AUTHORITY TELLS YOU AS RIGHT. WHAT I HAVE JUST SAID ABOVE IS INCREDIBLY WELL KNOWN AND DOCUMENTED, THERE ARE LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF CHRISTIAN CHURCHES BUILT DIRECTLY OVER THESE CULT CAVES, BUT YOU REJECT IT BECAUSE IT CONFLICTS WITH YOUR CONDITIONING, AND IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO ALWAYS ‘BELIEVE YOUR CONDITIONING’ INSTINCTIVELY THAT IS THE ISSUE.

So how the fuck can I know anything is TRUE THEN, how can I ever know what is REAL AND WHAT IS FANTASY?

YOU CAN’T YET, YOU MUST SIMPLY START TO DOUBT YOURSELF, YOUR INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS AND RAISE YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS ABOVE ALL YOUR FAKE OPINIONS BY ‘DISCOVERING’ THE ‘WAY OUT’ FOR ‘YOU’. IF IT HELPS AT ALL KNOW THAT THE CORRECT WAY ‘TO LIVE’, AGAINST THE PRODUCTIVE LIFE OF A SLAVE YOUR SOCIETY IS SO OBSESSED WITH, IS WHAT YOUR HEDONISM IS A VERY HALF BAKED ATTEMPT AT – LIFE AS ART, AS AN AESTHETIC EXPERIENCE – YOU ARE JUST MAKING A TOTAL, SELF DESTRUCTIVE MESS OF IT…

LMFAO… I knew I was RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME, like I felt it in MY SPIRIT, my bones! So go on then, SELL ME ‘GROWING UP’…

OF COURSE YOU DID, BUT I’M NOT HERE TO SELL YOU ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO BUY BABE, I’M HERE TO MAKE YOU EVEN WORSE THAN YOU ARE NOW IN ORDER TO MOTIVATE YOU TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOU ARE EITHER BORED TO FUCKING DEATH WITH ALL YOU FAKE SHIT, AS YOU HAVE DONE IT ALL, OR YOU ARE SO BROKEN YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO CHANGE TO SURVIVE – YOU HAVE TO WANT TO GROW UP, OTHERWISE YOU HAVE TO SHOCKED INTO IT BY LIFE, THE HARDWAY. GROWING UP IS NOTHING AFTER YOU HAVE DONE IT, BUT ITS EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU HAVE…

Wow, that’s fucking COLD dude, like NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE ME unless I’ve already decided to GIVE UP ON my CHARACTER, but what if I never do? 

YOU BURN, like all the rest, ITS CALLED ‘EVOLUTION’, its not for everybody, ITS FOR THE BEST, THE ONES WHO SURVIVE BY ADAPTING – CHANGING – SO THE REST HAVE TO LOSE BECAUSE SOME ARE ‘BETTER THAN’, BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY ALREADY ARE, AS THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY. SEE TO ESCAPE THE TRAP YOU HAVE TO SEE THE TRAP SO YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN A TRAP, its that simple. HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING BELOW TO NOT ONLY HELP YOU DO THIS, BUT ALSO SHOW YOU THAT THERE IS ANOTHER WAY, AND THAT WAY IS FAR, FAR BETTER THAN BEING A GUTLESS LITTLE CUNT…

Ahhhh, I don’t think I’m ready yet, MUCH AS I HAVE LESS FUN THAN I USED TO, its still more than most! Maybe next year…

SURE, THAT WHAT ALL CHILDREN SAY BECAUSE THEY ARE GUTLESS LITTLE CUNTS – YOU ‘SHY AWAY’  FROM IT –  SOME EVEN SAY IT ON THEIR DEATHBEDS, MUCH AS MOST GROW UP IN ‘THE MOMENT OF DEATH’, WHEN THERE IS NO LONGER ANY POINT TO IT…

BASTARD…

Yep, ONLY TRUE THING YOU HAVE SAID IN THE WHOLE DIALOGUE, ‘funny’ really, that is how this stuff works kidda – A CHILD NEVER CONSCIOUSLY DECIDES TO GROW UP MATE, because it can’t, ‘NO TURKEY EVER VOTES FOR XMAS’, but you can be ‘SHAMED’ INTO IT, BECAUSE YOUR SHAME IS NOT FROM YOU THE CHILD, YOU THE CHILD DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT FEELING GOOD. YOUR SHAME COMES FROM SOMETHING ELSE, AND AS A CHILD ITS SOLE FUNCTION IS TO GROW YOU UP BY MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE MENTALLY, FEELING ASHAMED, BUT OUR MODERN SOCIETY DECIDED TO COMFORT CHILDREN WITH FANTASY INSTEAD, SO DESTROYING THE NATURAL PATH TO GROWING UP IN AN INSTANT…

THAT’S FUCKING EVIL MATE, ‘shame’ kills people..?

IT DOES, BUT YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT SHAME IS ‘YOU’ TRYING TO KILL ‘YOU THE CHILD’, WHO IS ‘NOT YOU’ – YOUR SHAME ‘HONORS YOU’ AS BETTER THAN THEM, AND THAT IS WHERE YOU START, AS THAT IS YOUR GIFT, YOUR HEDONISTIC SPIRIT TRYING TO HELP YOU ‘GROW THE FUCK UP’, BUT NOBODY EVER TELLS YOU THAT, EXCEPT TOTAL BASTARDS LIKE ME…

I can’t agree, I KNOW PEOPLE WHO’S SHAME HAS DESTROYED THEM via drugs, SUICIDE, SO USING SHAME WILL JUST MAKE THEM WORSE?

THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD, SO YOU DON’T REALIZE ITS ‘THE FIRST TEST’, THE INFAMOUS SHAME TEST OF OLD, YOU CHOSE TO BE TORTURED BY SHAME INSTEAD OF HONORED BY IT, SO YOU CHOSE TO DESTROY YOUR SHAME AND CLING ON TO A CHILD LIKE A TOOL, WHILST ENCOURAGING OTHERS TO DO THE SAME TO KEEP YOU COMPANY. THAT IS THE WAY OF ‘THE PARASITE’, THE WAY OF ‘THE CONSUMER’, THE ‘EMPTY VESSEL’. AS IN ALL THINGS IN LIFE, YOU SHOULD CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU JUDGE THE ALTERNATIVE, AND CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS MEAN MORE THAN PLEASURE, MORE THAN ANYTHING IN FACT, AS IT MEANS YOU SHOULD VALUE YOURSELF AS A PIECE OF ART, INSTEAD OF JUST ‘A HAMMER OR A NAIL’… 

Seriously, MY SHAME MEANS I’M BETTER THAN MOST PEOPLE, cause I was born with it, KINDA WEIRD THAT IT FEELS LIKE A FUCKING CURSE THEN?

YEP, YOUR SHAME, THE FIRST OF YOUR CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS MAKES YOU BETTER THAN, PURE AND SIMPLE, BUT I REALLY WOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT THAT AS THERE IS NO NEED TO ENGAGE WITH YOUR SHAME TO GROW UP, JUST USE IT AS YOU PRIMARY MOTIVATION, AS THAT IS WHAT ITS FOR – ALL CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS ARE FORMS OF COMMUNICATION, SO GET THE FUCKING MESSAGE, EH. 

So now all I have to do is BELIEVE I CAN GROW UP BECAUSE I’VE FELT SHAME, and just READ THIS POST? 

YEP, SEE IT WON’T WORK LIKE YOU THINK, IT WILL WORK LIKE YOUR GIFT WANTS IT TO WORK, SO I HAVE ATTACKED THE CONCEPT BELOW FROM MULTIPLE POSSIBLE ANGLES, TO GIVE YOUR GIFT EVERY CHANCE TO HIT YOU WITH THE ONE YOU NEED TO READ TODAY… WHEN THAT FINDS YOU THEN YOU CAN GROW UP, BEFORE THAT YOUR CHILD WILL MAKE IT ALL A BLUR.

What if it was NOT SHAME, what if I would scared of BEING CAUGHT, yet giggling when I got away with it? 

THEN YOU ARE FUCKED, BUT YOU ARE FUCKED ANYWAY SO I WOULD NOT WASTE ANY TIME THINKING ABOUT. YOU CAN STILL GROW UP, IT JUST GOING TO TAKE SOME BRUTAL SHOCKS, SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY AND REMEMBER ANY SELF-CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT YOU HAD AS A KID, MAYBE EVEN THE DARK, GALLOWS HUMOR OF THE GIFTED – WON’T STOP THE SHOCK BUT YOU WILL COPE WAY BETTER IF YOU CAN. BESIDES IF IT WAS SHAME YOU WILL KNOW – SHAME IS A DEEP, LONG, SLOW EMOTION THAT IS OBVIOUSLY TOTALLY OUTSIDE OF ‘YOUR FAKE CHARACTER’ – ITS OBVIOUSLY NOT FROM YOUR LITTLE LIFE EXPERIENCE – SO HITS VERY DIFFERENT THAN THE TRANSIENT ANIMAL EMOTIONS OF FEAR, HUNGER, ETC that come from YOU THE BIG KID. ONLY POINT TO NOTE IS THAT IS YOU USED TO FEEL ACTUAL SHAME, AS A GENUINE CONNECTION TO YOUR SPIRIT, THEN THAT SHOCK IS DEFO COMING, AND YOU CAN’T STOP IT NOW BITCH.

Mmmm, sounds like a threat – EVER WONDERED WHY SO MANY FOLKS HATE YOU, like they NEVER EVER FORGET YOU FOR IT? 

Nope, IT’S AN APPROACH PERFECTED OVER DECADES – THE ART OF THE PROFOUND CONVERSATION – TO TEACH YOU WITHOUT YOU KNOWING IT, WHAT WE CALL THE MASTER TEACHER ‘VIBE CHECK’ (Sorry, 4th way in joke…). See ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS SUPPOSED TO HATE ME OBVIOUSLY – YOU’RE A FAKE CUNT – ITS KINDA OF THE POINT, BUT THE CONNECTION YOU MAY OR MAY NOT FEEL MAKES YOU THINK AGAINST YOU THE CHILD FOR THE MOMENT AND BEFORE YOU KNOW HALF MY WORK IS DONE FOR ME, AND YOU HAVE ALREADY STARTED. NOW THE CURSE OF DEVELOPMENT IS UPON YOU AND YOU EITHER FIX YOURSELF OR BURN – ITS JUST THE WAY IT IS, WAY IT WAS FOR ME, WAY IT IS FOR EVERYONE, THERE IS NOBODY TO COMPLAIN TO HUN, CAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU UNTIL YOU GROW UP…

……… FUCK YOU. 

YEAH WE ARE DONE HERE MATE, SO TRY AND SEE IT THIS WAY – A FEW MINUTES AGO YOU DID NOT KNOW ANY OF THIS EXISTED, ITS WAS LITTLE MORE THAN A RUMOUR TO YOU, BUT NOW YOU KNOW, SO YOU EITHER START TO DEAL OR CONTINUE TO RUN AWAY AND HIDE FROM YOURSELF, ALL I HAVE DONE IS GIVE YOU A CHANCE. BESIDES – YOU THINK YOU’RE ‘A BADDIE’ – ‘YOU ARE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME, NOT A LONG TIME’, ‘YOU DON’T NEED KNOW GOOD ADVICE YOU ARE ALREADY WASTED’, ‘YOUR MOMMA DIDN’T RAISE NO BITCH’, EH? SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CARE, BUT IF YOU ARE NOW AWARE THAT AT LEAST SOME OF THAT LOW QUALITY HORSESHIT YOU PARROT LIKE A BIRD CALL IN THE JUNGLE IS NOT ACTUALLY TRUE, INDEED IT IS LITTLE MORE THAN A COMFORTING PATTERN REACTION YOU USE SO OFTEN YOU NO LONGER REALLY HEAR YOURSELF SAY IT, THEN READ ON, WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME…

SO NOW I AM ON THE CLOCK, now I have to hurry, REALLLLLYYYYYY, ARE YOU AND ‘WHOS ARMY’ COMING FOR ME? 

NO, THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS COMING FOR YOU IS DEATH, BUT YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT DEATH IS, AND I HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN YOU – YOU ARE STUCK IN THE MIND OF A CHILD, THE MIND OF A CHILD NEVER GETS OLD, BUT SADLY THE REST OF YOU HAS GOT OLD, YOU WOULD NOT EVEN BE 30% OF WHAT YOU ONCE WERE, JUST TOO MUCH WASTED ON YOUR ANXIETIES. YOU HAVE NO CONCEPTION OF DEATH, BUT DEATH HAS A CONCEPTION OF YOU, INDEED EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU HAS BEEN WAITING TO HAPPEN TO YOU SINCE THE ‘BEGINNING OF TIME’, MUCH AS AT THE MOMENT OF DEATH YOU WILL BE SHOCKED TO LEARN YOU HAVE BEEN ASLEEP SINCE YOU EARLY TEENS, SO ITS ALL A FUCKING BLUR YOU CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER, IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING. TIME PASSES MATE – SEE YA, WOULD NOT WANT TO BE YA…

SO THAT’S IT, YOU’RE GONE…? 

YEP, TEMPUS FUGIT – LOOK ME UP WHEN YOU WANNA GROW UP AND I’LL HELP YOU. In the meantime know your questions mean you have a chance, not much of a chance but 10% ain’t that bad overall – most folks I know HAVE NO CHANCE AT ALL, INDEED MOST PEOPLE I MEET I JUST COMFORT, PAT ON THE HEAD, AND SEND ON THEIR WAY, MAKING SURE THEY REMEMBER TO KEEP TAKING THE PILLS. I would not waste 5mins on normal people, NORMAL PEOPLE ARE ANIMAL TRASH, GUTLESS LITTLE CONSUMERS, SO BE GLAD ANYONE STOPPED TO TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE JUST TOLD YOU, WHILST REMEMBERING I HAVE JUST GIVEN YOU THE GREATEST GIFT ANYONE LIKE ME CAN – A CHANCE TO ESCAPE YOUR ONCOMING DEPRESSION AND MENTAL DECLINE. 

….. 

LOL – GOOD LUCK, HOPE YOU FIND YOUR SHIT BEFORE YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU KIDDA. SORRY, I KNOW THAT IS NOT THAT PROFOUND BUT HEY, YOU ARE A GUTLESS FUCK UP, A LITTLE KID, SO GO PROVE ME, AND YOURSELF, ‘WRONG’…

I’ll see you later…

I DOUBT IT, BUT HERES HOPING…

I’M ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU THINK I AM, just never thought there was any point to ‘TRYING’, BEFORE NOW, so I just gave up tryin to BE ME when I was kid…

………… As a child you had a natural ‘sense of honor’, of being BETTER THAN, BEST DESCRIBED IN THE MODERN WORLD AS THE PRIVATE SENSE OF ‘GIRI’, OF OBLIGATION TO ‘PERFECT YOURSELF FOR THE SAKE OF YOURSELF’ AS A VERY REAL ‘MOTIVATIONAL FEELING’ – IT IS A VERY SOLID, DEEP THING, WITH THE SAME ‘EMOTIONAL TASTE’ THAT YOU MAY REMEMBER ‘SHAME’ HAS, SO IT IS NOT AN EMOTIONAL DELUSION LIKE THE REST OF YOUR CHEAP SHIT, IT IS A COLD STEEL RAIL, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT POWER FEELS LIKE.

BUT LIKE ALL BIG KIDS YOU HAVE REPLACED THAT WITH ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’, WITH THE CHILDISH REACTION OF ‘SMUGNESS’ WHEN YOU FEEL FLEETINGLY ‘INADEQUATE’, AS YOUR LAST STATEMENT BETRAYED YOU DID, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS SO FAST YOU DID NOT FEEL IT. FOR YOU, INDEED MOST HEDONISTS WHO SECRETLY KNOW THEY HAVE ‘BETRAYED THEMSELVES’, THIS IS THE CORRECT PLACE TO START – TO TAKE PRIDE IN NOT GIVING INTO THE COMPENSATIONS OF A CHILD FOR STILL BEING A CHILD, AND SO REPLACE THE NEED TO ‘WIN’, TO BE RIGHT, WITH THE STRENGTH AND HONOR OF AN ADULT WHO IS BETTER THAN A GUTLESS LITTLE CUNT WHO NEEDS TO COMFORT THEMSELVES WITH ‘SWEETIES’, AND CHOOSE ‘CHANGE’ INSTEAD. 

THIS IS WERE YOU START, AS THIS IS THE REPLACEMENT THERAPY FOR THE COMFORTS OF A CHILD THAT WILL WORK FOR YOU. MUCH AS THERE IS MUCH MORE TO IT, TO HAVE A FEELING OF ‘BETTER THAN’, TO REPLACE YOUR FEELING OF ‘RELIEF FROM’ IS THE WAY FORWARD, ELSE ALL WILL BE A FORM OF DENIAL, SO YOU WILL FAIL IN THE FACE OF THE CONSTANT ‘ANXIETIES OF A CHILD’ ..

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS LESSON? 

No, BUT I REMEMBER, I KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE, and frankly I KNOW THAT ‘FEELING OF SUPERIORITY’ IS A NASTY THING, we are all EQUAL NOW? 

SO YOU DO UNDERSTAND THE LESSON BECAUSE THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE LESSON – YOU NOW KNOW ‘YOUR PATH’, AS THAT WAS ‘THE MISTAKE YOU MADE IN CHILDHOOD’, THE ‘ROAD YOU DID NOT TAKE’, THE ‘NATURAL WAY YOU SHOULD OF GROWN UP’, BUT YOU ‘BOTTLED IT’ INSTEAD.

BE VERY CLEAR, THE SHITE COMPENSATION FOR A ‘LACK OF FELT SUPERIORITY’ YOU ARE FORCED TO USE IS SMUGNESS, SECRET CLEVERNESS, THE NEED TO ‘FEEL RIGHT’ LIKE A KID, SO IF YOU STOP USING SMUGNESS TO COMFORT YOURSELF THEN YOU WILL BE FORCED TO CHOOSE SUPERIORITY INSTEAD. THIS IS REQUIRED TO BALANCE YOU ‘MINDSTATE OF A KID’, WITHOUT WHICH YOU WOULD START TO HAVE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS VERY EARLY IN LIFE, INSTEAD OF JUST LATER LIFE, WHEN YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE ENERGY TO LIVE LIKE A KID, AND INCREASING LEVELS OF ADHD AWAIT.

THEN YOU WILL GROW UP – YOU WILL USE THE UN-COMFORTED SENSE OF ‘SELF CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT’ TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO ACTUALLY ‘BE SUPERIOR’, CAUSE YOU SIMPLY WOULD NOT FEEL THAT GIFTED LEVEL EMOTION SELF CONSCIOUSLY, THAT ‘BURNING SENSE OF SHAME’ IF YOU WERE NOT ACTUALLY SUPERIOR TO WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU – THAT IS THE JOY OF IT, WHY YOU SHOULD WELCOME IT, THE RECOGNITION THAT YOU UNDER PERFORM YOURSELF AT A SPIRITUAL LEVEL, THAT YOU ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ THIS OR THAT SITUATION, AND CHANGE.   

THE BEST WAY TO GET YOUR HEAD AROUND THE ‘PETTY EVIL’ THAT IS SMUGNESS IS TO UNDERSTAND THAT SMUGNESS IS WHAT YOU THE CHILD USES TO KILL YOUR CONSCIENCE OVER TIME BY TURNING YOU INTO A GUTLESS LITTLE TWAT, A PIECE OF SHIT WHO HAS TO ‘PRETEND THEY WON’ WHEN EVERYONE ELSE CAN SEE THE LOSS, JUST TO GET THROUGH THE FUCKING DAY – SMUGNESS IS USED TO COVER UP YOUR LACK OF BOTTLE, GUTS SO YOU DON’T FEEL IT CONSCIOUSLY. SO LITTLE BY LITTLE IT REPLACES YOUR CONSCIENCE, THE ONLY THING ABOUT YOU WORTH A DAMN, LIKE A CHEAP DRUG, SO ALL EXTERNAL CLASS SYSTEMS, EVEN MOST MILITARIES BAN SMUGNESS VERY EARLY ON, AS THEY KNOW WHAT IT WILL DO TO YOU – THEY KNOW IT WILL MAKE YOU UNRELIABLE, CRAVEN, 2 FACED, UNTRUSTWORTHY, NOTHING MORE THAN WHAT IS NOW NORMAL, ‘A DISLOYAL CHANCER’.  

Yeah, there must be an easier, faster way THAN FITTING ALL THESE ABSTRACT JIGSAW PIECES TOGETHER SO THEY ADD UP TO SOMETHING TANGIBLE? 

THERE IS, THIS IS IT, YOU ARE JUST LOOKING AT IT WRONG BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD, SO EVERYTHING IS ‘SMALL BEER’ TO YOU, EVERYTHING ABSTRACT YOU NEED TO FIT TOGETHER TO DELIVER ANY BENEFIT IN THE FUTURE IS BORING, YOU NEED MORE EXCITEMENT, MORE THRILLS ‘NOW’ TO MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE, OTHERWISE YOU GET NO ‘PEAK RELIEF’ FROM THE CONSTANT ANXIETY YOU SUFFER FROM – YOUR ANXIETY CAUSES THAT NEED, OTHERWISE THAT NEED WOULD NOT EXIST, INDEED ‘THE CURRENT RELIEFS YOU LIVE FOR’ WOULD BE SHITTY LITTLE THINGS THAT DON’T DO ANYTHING. 

THE ISSUE IS THAT RIGHT NOW THOSE SHITTY LITTLE RELIEFS OWN YOUR WHOLE LIFE, MOST CAN’T LIVE WITH OUT THEM – THAT IS THE TRAP OF CHILDHOOD, SO YOU FIRST SEE THAT TRAP ‘CAPTURE YOU’ IN THE MOMENT, AND THEN YOU MUST REPLACE IT WITH ELITISM – REPLACE IT WITH FELT SUPERIORITY OVER YOURSELF, OVER YOU THE CHILDS CONSTANT FUCKING WHINNING ABOUT THIS FEAR OR THAT DESIRE OR GOD KNOWS WHATEVER MOMENTARY ‘CONSUMER LEVEL’ BOLLOCKS IT GNAWS AT YOU WITH. 

SEE THE TERRIBLE IRONY FOR MOST STUDENTS, EVEN GOOD STUDENTS, IS THAT YOU GET TO A POINT YOU WANT TO KNOW ‘WHAT ELSE THERE IS’, YOU LEARN WHAT ELSE THERE IS ABSTRACTLY, THEN YOU DO NOTHING ABOUT IT, SOME ARE SO FUCKING DUMB THEY EVEN BELIEVE THAT SIMPLY KNOWING THE CONCEPTS CHANGES THEM, GROWS THEM UP, YET IT DOES NOTHING. IF ANYTHING YOU ACTUALLY GETS WORSE, CAUSE WE WANT YOU TO GET WORSE, AS GETTING WORSE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT FOR MOST WITHOUT SHOCKS. SO YOU, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE LIKE YOU, LIKE YOUR STEREOTYPE AS YOU HAVE NO INDIVIDUALITY WHATSOEVER, NEEDS TO FEEL MORE AFRAID OF ‘NOT GROWING UP’ THAN THEY DO OF ACTUALLY GROWING UP, OF WHAT ‘THEY WILL LOSE IF THEY GROW UP’.

ITS AN ODD THING, NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU SEE IT LIVE, IT NEVER FAILS TO AMUSE FOLKS LIKE ME – WHAT YOU LOSE BY GROWING UP IS YOUR ANXIETY, YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, WHICH YOU REPLACE WITH YOUR SUPERIORITY COMPLEX, BUT YOU THINK YOU LOSE YOUR ‘RELIEFS FROM ANXIETY’, BLISSFULLY UNAWARE THAT THOSE RELIEFS WILL SHRIVEL AND DIE BY THEMSELVES ONCE YOU START TO KILL YOUR ANXIETY VIA ELITISM – IF YOU HAVE NO LEVEL OF CONSTANT ANXIETY THEN YOU HAVE NO NEED FOR RELIEF FROM ANXIETY, DO YOU – WITHOUT ANXIETY THEY DON’T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT ‘WEAKEN YOU’.

IN THE MEANTIME, AS YOU START, YOU ARE FREE TO DO THEM – TO FEED YOUR DEMON – INDEED IT IS ACTUALLY USEFUL TO DO THEM, AS THEY WILL START TO FEEL DUMB AS FUCK, ALL BY THEMSELVES, WHICH IS WHY NO ONE SERIOUS EVER TRIES TO STOP YOU, UNLESS YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE TOMORROW OBVIOUSLY.

Obviously, but STILL FEELS LIKE I’M LOSING SOMETHING I WON’T GET BACK, even makes me slightly afraid to START actually…

AGAIN, YOU ARE LOSING SOMETHING YOU WON’T GET BACK – TO BE CONTROLLED BY ANXIETY – THE ONLY REASON YOU FEAR THAT IS BECAUSE YOU DON’T REALIZE THE ‘PROCESS OF STOPPING BEING CONTROLLED BY ANXIETY’ DELIVERS SOMETHING FAR MORE VALUABLE, SUPERIORITY, A FEELING THAT NEEDS NO COMFORT IN THE MOMENT. SUPERIORITY IS THE NATURAL WAY TO SURPASS YOURSELF, TO RISE ABOVE YOU THE CHILD, SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMOVE YOUR CONDITIONING TO ANXIETY, YOU REMOVE THE POWER OF ANXIETY TO TRIGGER THAT CONDITIONING. FELT SUPERIORITY ‘IS’ EVOLUTION, THE FORCE BEHIND IT…

THE ISSUE IS UNTIL YOU SEE THAT IN REAL TIME YOU CANNOT MAKE ‘THE TRANSITION’ MENTALLY, SO YOU MUST UNDERSTAND IT FIRST – YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ELITISM CORRECTLY, INDEED IN MANY BIG KIDS ACTUALLY SABOTAGE ELITISM FOR THEMSELVES BY EITHER SEEING IT AS FASCIST, RACIST, CLASS WAR OR SOME OTHER WOKE SHITE, OR BEING SCARED SHIT LESS OF IT, OF SUCCESS AND POWER, BECAUSE ITS TOO HARD, TOO MUCH LIKE THE SCHOOLYARD, AS THAT IS THE KEY REASON THEY FAILED GROWING UP IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE.  

Mmmmm, I’m starting to understand what a PROFOUND CONVERSATION IS NOW, but honestly I need this to MAKE MY LIFE BETTER NOW, not LATER…

AND THAT IS ‘TO HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD’, YOU REFUSE TO DO WHAT YOU CALL SUFFERING NOW FOR BENEFIT LATER, BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT TAUGHT IT AS A CHILD, WHICH IS A PROBLEM, AS YOU DON’T HAVE THAT PATTERN – YOU CANNOT BRING LATER INTO THE NOW SO IT FEELS REAL, I WILL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BELOW SHOULD YOU CARE TO READ ON.

BUT BEFORE YOU READ ON KNOW THIS, QUITE SIMPLY, WITH NO PROFUNDITY INTENDED –  THE TRICK TO GROWING UP IS TO SEPARATE ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ FROM ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOU’ CLEARLY, IN TERMS OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS IN REAL TIME. IT IS DIFFICULT BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE, AS LONG AS YOU REMEMBER TO FOCUS ON THE EXTREMES OF ITS BEHAVIOUR – ITS NEGATIVE REACTIONS TO WHAT YOU WANT, AND DON’T BOTHER WITH ANYTHING SUBTLE, AS THAT WILL JUST CONFUSE YOU. 

THE BEST WAY TO DO THIS IS TO SEPARATE THE WAY ‘YOU THINK’ SO YOU CAN SEE THE WAY ‘IT THINKS’ VERY CLEARLY – CONSCIOUS YOU THINKS BY GIVING ORDERS, UNCONSCIOUS YOU RESPONDS TO THOSE ORDERS WITH FEELINGS WHICH YOU NORMALLY USE TO THINK WITH BUT ARE NOW GOING TO IGNORE, AS THEY DON’T MATTER FOR NOW – YOU WANT TO BOSS YOURSELF AROUND FOR A BIT.

KEEP IT SIMPLE, LEARN HOW TO LOOK INSIDE OF YOURSELF AND SEE WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AS A FEELING IN REACTION TO THE ORDERS YOU JUST GAVE YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING YOU WANT THE RESULT OF WITHOUT CARING ABOUT THE PROCESS. RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING MOST OF THE TIME, CAUSE YOU SIMPLY BELIEVE THAT ITS MOMENTARY THOUGHTS ARE WHAT ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ IS THINKING BECAUSE ITS THOUGHTS ARE A ‘CONSCIOUS REACTION’, BUT ITS ‘NOT YOU REACTING AUTOMATICALLY’, IT IS ‘YOUR ENEMY’ WHO WISHES TO STOP YOU AND REMAIN THE SAME. IN TIME YOU MAY EVEN LEARN TO FEAR IT ENOUGH TO DOUBT IT AND SO STOP IT CONSTANTLY, BECAUSE IT IS A ‘FUCK UP’ WHO HATES ‘ADULT YOU’, BUT ‘YOU ARE NOT’ A FUCK UP, YOU KNOW PRETENDING TO BE TIMID LITTLE 13Y/O LIKE A CUNT EVERY MOMENT IS GOING TO END BADLY, SO YOU ARE FRANKLY QUITE BORED WITH ITS LAZY CHILDISH BULLSHIT…

IT IS A CHANGE OF MINDSET AS ‘ROLE PLAY’ SO OBVIOUSLY IT TAKES SOME TIME AS IT TAKES TIME TO FORM THE HABIT OF IT, BUT WHEN YOU SEE THIS WORK IN SIMPLE THINGS, EG ‘(YOUR NAME) STAND UP NOW, NO EXCUSES!’, IT IS VERY EASY TO GET SLIGHTLY FASCINATED BY WHAT YOU CAN GET YOURSELF TO DO THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE, BECAUSE YOU THE CHILD DID NOT WANT TO DO IT AS A FEELING, SO YOU THOUGHT YOU DID NOT WANT TO DO IT AS A CONSCIOUS THOUGHT – IT BECOMES A SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT, TO PUSH YOUR BOUNDARIES, YOUR LIMITS THIS WAY, JUST AS LONG AS YOU HAVE THE PATTERNS TO LEARN HOW TO DO NEW STUFF THAT IS.

A NICE TIP IS TO ALWAYS REFER TO ‘IT’ BY THE CHILDHOOD FIRST NAME YOU WERE CALLED AS A CHILD, BUT ALWAYS REFER TO YOURSELF, TO CONSCIOUS YOU AS YOUR ‘ADULT TITLE’ AND FAMILY NAME, MUCH AS THERE IS NO NEED FOR THE 2ND PART AT THE START. HOWEVER STRANGE THIS SOUNDS KNOW IT IS WHAT YOU HAVE ASKED FOR – RESULTS NOW – SO TRY IT BEFORE YOU GET SNIFFY LIKE A CUNT. THIS IS A MENTAL BRIDGE BETWEEN THE FUCK UP OF INFERIORITY AND THE CLASS OF SUPERIORITY, ITS THAT SIMPLE – THE DIRECTED GOALS OF CONSCIOUS YOU ARE WAY MORE VALUABLE THAN THE MOMENTARY CRAP OF UNCONSCIOUS YOU, WHICH IS LITTLE MORE ‘STREET NOISE’, YET YOU HANG ON EVERY WORD OF THOSE ECHOES, TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF DISCONNECTED, DISJOINTED, DISINGENUOUS, CONFLICTING CRAP AS IF THERE IS ANY SENSE THERE LEFT FROM YOUR BLOODY ‘CHILDHOOD’?… 

OK, I CAN BUY THAT, as it appears to work in simple things, so I’ll stick at it, MUCH AS IT TAKES A HUGE AMOUNT OF ENERGY – whats next?   

STICK AT IT, DEVELOP THE HABIT, SEE THE DIFFERENCE AND PLAY THE ROLE OF NOT BEING ‘OLD YOU’ ANYMORE, OF BEING BETTER THAN THAT INFANTILE LITTLE BITCH, WHENEVER YOU ARE FREE, HOWEVER YOU CAN! TRY AND DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR, USE THE BIOLOGY OF A CHILD YOU ARE STILL STUCK WITH TO MAKE IT EASIER – SEE IT AS FUN, SO MAKE IT ‘FUNNY’, LAUGH AT OLD YOU THE CHILD, HOW PATHETIC AND NEEDY IT IS, HOW DESPERATE TO GET PETTY RELIEF FROM IT PETTY CHILDHOOD COMPLEXES, THAT WERE SO FUCKING MEANINGLESS YOU CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THEM!.

THE TRICK IS TO KNOW THIS – EVERYTIME YOU USE THIS WAY OF THINKING, OF GIVING ORDERS TO YOURSELF INSTEAD OF GOING WITH HOW YOU FEEL IN THIS MOMENT YOU MUST RESET YOURSELF, ENERGIZE YOURSELF AND EVOKE A SENSE OF CONSCIOUS URGENCY NOW! IN THIS WAY YOU WILL PUSH BACK AGAINST WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU OVER TIME – YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS HAS BECOME PASSIVE, A SLAVE TO MOMENTARY FEELINGS , TO MOOD SWINGS OF YOU THE CHILD, TORTURING YOU OVER NOTHING, ‘IT’ USES ‘UNCONSCIOUS URGENCY’ TO CONTROL YOU SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO GUTLESS TO STAND AGAINST THAT CRAP WHEN YOU WERE A KID, SO NOW YOU HAVE TO PASS THIS TEST AS AN ADULT, WHEN YOU HAVE FAR, FAR LESS ENERGY.

THANK YOU, and sorry for the trash talk earlier, this stuff you are selling appears to have some value for me, SO WHAT DO I OWE YOU? 

TRY AND BE A BIT MORE INTERESTING, EH, it is you GIFT THAT MATTERS, all else is just PART OF THE PROCESS, and will be soon forgotten when you reach the next test, should you learn how to CONTROL YOURSELF, BY DEVELOPING ‘POWER OVER YOURSELF’. THEN YOU WILL OWE ME, UNTIL THEN YOU ARE JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE, LIKE ALL THE REST, so enjoy it while it lasts…

Last thing? I’m conscious that twice during this dialogue my mind state changed, POPPED, outside of my control, then my thoughts followed a different path, WHY?

Ok, I’ll explain the structure of a dialogue but not the process, that is secret, much as a good table magician can manipulate any animal into giving the desired responses, TEACHERS DON’T, Teachers TEST YOU, and you must pass those tests if you want the dialogue to continue, which you also figured out. Test in this sense are not cut and dried, in terms of correct answers, you just need to stop giving the ‘INCORRECT ANSWERS’, so you don’t pass them, YOU STOP FAILING THEM – YOU PASS OVER YOUR BLOCKS. SEE ALL GOOD TEACHERS KNOW TEACHING AN ANIMAL IS POINTLESS, AS YOU DON’T HAVE THE CAPACITY TO GET PASSED YOUR BLOCKS, but with a little polite pressure from me the GIFTED CAN BE ‘LED PASSED THEIR BLOCKS’, should they be BRAVE ENOUGH.

YES, the reason for CONTINUAL REFERENCING OF YOUR COWARDICE, BY WHICH WE MEAN ‘EGO SAFETY’, IS THAT THE WHOLE START OF DEVELOPMENT COMES DOWN TO FIRST OF THE 2 BIG ARTIFACTS OF DISCUSSION THAT A TEACHER HAS TO BE MANAGE PERSONALLY FOR YOU – YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS TO SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO, CAUSE YOU ARE CHILD, CONTROLLED BY FEAR. GETTING YOU PASSED THAT IS THE FIRST BIG TRAINING SKILL THEY TEACH YOU, AS YOU WILL FAIL CONSTANTLY IF YOU DON’T INSPIRE ‘THE FEELING OF TRUTH’ VIA TRUST AND KNOWLEDGE IN THE STUDENT, SO THEY ‘OPEN UP’. THIS IS THE REASON FOR SO MUCH OF THE PRE-AMBLE, AND REFERENCING THINGS THAT IN THEMSELVES ADD NO VALUE TO THE DISCUSSION, THEY ARE A FORM OF THEATER DESIGNED TO SHOW YOU THERE IS MORE THAN ME AND YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS THAN ‘YOU KNOW’.

BUT IT IS THE SECOND OF THESE 2 WHICH IS THE MOST CHALLENGING FOR A TEACHER – WANT JUNG FAMOUSLY CODIFIED AS ‘TRANSFERENCE’, WHICH IS WHEN AN ENERGETIC CONNECTION FORMS BETWEEN US AND DISTORTS WHAT YOU WOULD OTHERWISE SAY AS YOU WANT TO ‘PLEASE THE TEACHER’, SO START LYING BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU KNOW THE RIGHT ANSWER TO A GENERIC QUESTION INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING WHAT COMES TO YOUR MIND. NOW CONNECTION, EVEN FORCED OR NATURALLY STRONG, IS A MASSIVE BENEFIT TO THE TEACHER PROCESS AS IT ALLOWS ME TO ‘SHOW YOU’ THINGS THAT MAY OTHERWISE TAKES MONTHS IF NOT YEARS TO FIND IN YOUR OWN MIND, BUT IT CAN BE HUGELY ANNOYING WHEN YOU NEED TO SHOW ME ASPECTS OF YOURSELF THAT YOU THINK REFLECT BADLY ON YOU, EVEN THOUGH I TELL YOU I DON’T GIVE A SHIT, INDEED AT YOUR LEVEL I WAS WAY WORSE – SEE WHAT I DID THERE? 

The TESTS – THERE WERE ACTUALLY 4 TESTS, AND YOU PASSED 3 OF THEM, 2 WITH MY HELP, THE 4TH REQUIRES YOU TO GO AWAY AND PRACTISE FIRST UNLESS YOU ARE INCREDIBLY GIFTED AND FRANKLY ALREADY HAVE ‘CORRECT’ PREVIOUS KNOWLEDGE OF ‘REAL’ SPIRITUAL SYSTEM – MOST OF WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT SPIRITUALITY IS WESTERNIZED GARBAGE, EG BUDDHISM IS ACTUALLY A DEEP DARK RELIGION OBSESSED WITH DEMONS AND BASED ON FORCED AESTHETICISM, BUT YOU THINK IT IS ABOUT LOVE, PASSIVITY, AND SUNDAY MORNING YOGA, NONE OF WHICH IS TRUE. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THE WESTERNIZATION OF THE WORLD TO LIBERAL ‘DEMOCRATIC STANDARDS IS THE GREATEST DESTRUCTIVE FORCES ON THIS PLANET, PARTICULARLY THE RELIGIONS OF THE BOOK – CHRISTIANITY/ISLAM/JUDAISM – IT DUMBS DOWN THINGS IT DOES NOT UNDERSTAND, SANITIZES THEM. 

I’LL GO THROUGH THESE TESTS VERY QUICKLY BECAUSE I’M NOT GOING INTO ANY DETAIL AS TO HOW YOU STOPPED FAILING THEM AND PASSED BEYOND THE OBVIOUS, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, I CAN CHANGE THEY TESTS IN MULTIPLE WAYS SO YOU CANNOT LEARN THEM, BUT FRANKLY I DON’T MIND ANYONE KNOWING THAT IS THE POINT OF THIS CHAT, AS YOU KNOW WHY THE CHAT ENDS WHEN YOU HAVE FAILED, WHICH WILL TEND TO MAKE YOU MUCH BRAVER. IN ITSELF THIS GETS YOU PASSED A TEST YOU DID NOT NEED – THE REALIZATION THAT ‘YOU HAVE TO TALK’, WHICH CAN OFTEN TAKE MONTHS OF ‘JUST SITTING WITH YOU’ FOR SUB 40S WOMEN, AS YOU SIMPLY LACK THE CONFIDENCE TO SAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN ‘BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE’.

FIRST TEST – ‘COOL’, WHEN YOU START TO SAY WHAT ‘YOU THINK’, OTHER THAN WHAT YOU THINK ‘IS COOL’, CLEVER, FUNNY, STEREOTYPICAL CRAP, WOKE LIBERAL BOLLOCKS, GEN Z FASHION, GASLIGHTING, HOOK UP CODES, SMUGNESS ETC WHICH YOU PASSED QUICKLY ENOUGH AS GIFTED, BUT MAJORITY OF ANIMALS AND EVEN SOME YOUNG GIFTED NEVER PASS, AS THEY HAVE NOTHING ELSE BUT THE GENERIC PATTERN REACTIONS OF THEIR TRIBE TO SAY. YOU PASSED IT BY REALIZING WHAT YOU WERE SAYING IS CRAP IN THE MOMENT, UNTRUE FOR YOU, THE FIRST TIME I POINTED THAT OUT TO YOU, AND THEN STARTED TO JUDGE THE QUALITY OF YOUR QUESTIONS, NOT THE COOLNESS, WHICH WAS FAST. 

SECOND TEST – ‘FEAR’, WHEN YOUR NEED TO HIDE ASPECTS OF YOURSELF DOMINATES YOU ANSWERS, SO YOU JUST TALK IN EGO SAFE CIRCLES, OCCASIONALLY NIBBLING AT THE TRUTH WITHOUT COMMITTING TO THE PROCESS, WHICH SLOWLY MAKES YOU BRAVER WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YES, YOU WILL BE JUDGED, BUT NO, I DON’T GIVE SHIT, ITS ALL PART OF THE PROCESS YOU NEED TO GET THROUGH, AND WILL BE FORGOTTEN AS SOON AS YOU MOVE ON – THE RESULT MATTERS THE PROCESS DOES NOT. I GOT YOU PASSED THIS BY ‘BURSTING THE PIMPLE OF FEAR’ INTO AGGRESSION AND THEN AGREEING WITH YOU, SO YOUR FEAR WAS NULLIFIED BY FEELING RIGHT, AND WE MOVED ON TO THE MUCH MORE CHALLENGING, INDEED THE FIRST REAL ONE THAT MATTERS AS IT DEFINES SO MUCH OF THE REST OF IT, AS IT BETRAYS YOUR TYPE.          

THIRD TEST – ‘VULNERABILITY’, WHEN YOU DECIDE ‘THIS IS INTERESTING’, YOUR ACTIVE AVOIDANCE OF FEAR HAS PASSED AND YOU ARE WILLING TO OPEN UP AND SAY WHAT YOU THINK/FEEL NOW. THIS IS WHEN THE CONVERSATION BECOMES USEFUL AS BEFORE THIS I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY AS A TYPE AS ALL PEOPLE HAVE ROUGHLY THE SAME GENERIC PATTERNS, IT JUST THE FLAVOUR OF THEM THAT VARIES. NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS ‘STRONG PASS’ ON YOUR PART, AS I DID NOT HELP YOU PASS IT, INDEED I MADE IT HARDER TO PASS AS I HAD ALREADY SEEN YOUR GIFT EMERGE IN SOME OF YOUR PREVIOUS ANSWERS AND I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU COULD DO UNAIDED. YOU PASSED IT VIA A PAINFUL LITTLE EXCHANGE WHERE YOU BECAME QUITE EMOTIONAL ABOUT SHAME, WHICH IS AN EXCELLENT SIGN, MUCH AS YOU HAVE CLEARLY HAD THESE ISSUES YOURSELF, RATHER THAN ‘KNOWING PEOPLE’ WHO HAVE – VULNERABILITY IS A CHASM, THAT ONCE CROSSED THERE IS NO WAY BACK, SO FOLK LIKE ME LET IT HAPPEN, WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN, AND EVEN IF YOU TRY AND DEFLECT THIS EMBARRASSMENT LATER, WHICH YOU DID, IT DON’T MATTER .

FOURTH TEST – ‘TRYING’, WHEN YOU ARE ACTUALLY WILLING TO SUSPEND YOU DISBELIEF IN MAGIC AND HAVE A GO FOR ANY NUMBER OF REASONS BECAUSE I HAVE PICKED THE LOCK ON YOUR CAGE OF ANXIETY, OF YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS, IN ORDER TO GET PASSED THEM. NOW THAT IS HOW IT FEELS TO YOU, THAT A PART OF YOU CAN ESCAPE YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS TO ANXIETY AND LEAVE FOR A MOMENT, BEFORE VOLUNTARILY GOING BACK IN LATER, WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IS I AM PASSING YOU MAGICAL FOOD THROUGH THE BARS OF YOUR CAGE THAT LIFTS YOUR SPIRIT FOR A WHILE. AGAIN NO FURTHER EXPLANATION OTHER THAN YOU HAVE SOME WAY TO GO BEFORE YOU PASS THIS ONE FOR REAL, TO REALIZE IT IN YOUR LIFE, BUT I WILL EXPLAIN THE CORE OF A ‘USEFUL TEST’ THAT HAS ‘A RESULT’ – THESE TESTS ARE NOT 1 THING THEY ARE 3, SO YOU NEED TO GET 3 THINGS TO PASS THEM, YOU GOT 2 WHICH ARE OBVIOUS, THIS STUFF IS JIGSAW PIECES THAT YOU MUST FIT TOGETHER IN A WAY YOU CAN RELATE TO, JUST 1 PIECE IS NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING, AND ENERGY, ALL THIS TAKES A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY WHICH YOU HAD AS A CHILD, BUT DON’T NOW.

SO THE THIRD BIT, THE KEY STONE THAT JOINS THOSE 2 IS HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GENERATE THAT ENERGY IN THE MOMENT, INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR IT TO APPEAR AND REMEMBERING TO TRY, AS THAT WON’T WORK AS YOU ARE TOO EASILY CONTROLLED – THE CURSE OF THE TRAD 4TH WAY.

EMOTION, EMOTION IS THE KEYSTONE, it is the way I see all the pieces and generate the energy to do…

TOP OF CLASS, INDEED IF YOU CAN NOW SEE THAT YOU MUST ACTIVELY GENERATE EMOTION BY CONSCIOUS SUFFERING, INSTEAD OF JUST WAITING FOR IT AND TRYING TO DEVELOP YOURSELF WHEN YOU NOTICE YOU ARE EMOTIONAL THEN YOU WILL AVOID THE UNCONSCIOUS SUFFERING THAT IS BEING SENT TO HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF – DON’T WAIT FOR LIFE, DON’T RELY ON FINDING ‘MONEY IN THE STREET’, FORCE IT, FORCE YOURSELF, IT HARD NOW BUT IT WILL BE NOTHING TO YOU LATER!

SEE IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO DECIDE HOW YOU ARE PREPARED TO SUFFER TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, THAN ALLOW YOUR GIFT TO DECIDE FOR YOU – NOW YOU KNOW HOW YOUR LIFE WORKS – YOU MUST PAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU WANT, AND YOU MUST PAY UPFRONT AND IN FULL, OR SOMETHING ELSE WILL TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR ACCOUNT ANYWAY. IT IS A BIG TEST, BECAUSE IT STOPS YOU SUFFERING FROM YOUR SUFFERING, INDEED YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT, IN ORDER TO HELP YOURSELF, SO GET IN FIRST AND CHOOSE YOUR SUFFERING…

YOU COULD OF COURSE JUST WEAR A TIGHT THIGH HIGH, LIKE ‘THE KNIGHTS OF THE GARTER’, but THINK ABOUT IT ANYWAY, AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE CONSCIOUS SUFFERING TEST THAT COMES NEXT, SHOULD YOU PASS THIS ONE…

MOTHERFUCKER, that is actually slightly scary, but I like it…

GOOD NEWS, SO MAYBE SOME STRANGE MEN WON’T HAVE TO DRAG YOU DOWN INTO A DEEP CAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE IN ORDER TO GENERATE THE EMOTION YOU NEED TO GROW UP IN THE MOMENT THEN! JUST JOKING – YOU WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT THESE DAYS AND YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT…

BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW WHY, EVEN IN YOUR LITTLE ‘ANIMAL KINGDOM’, ANYTHING WORTH DOING HAS TO BE ‘SLIGHTLY SCARY’, EH?

SO GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT, YOU ARE DEAD AN AWFULLY LONG TIME, SO LEARN HOW TO LIVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN ‘LITTLE GIRL’…

….!!!!….

JUST DON’T DELAY LIKE ONE MORE SIMPLE BITCH WITH AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, WHO CAN’T RELATE TO ‘HUMAN RANK’, TO ‘THE CONCEPT OF LEVEL’ BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL STUCK IN THE FAKE IDEOLOGY OF ‘EQUALITY’, AND SO WANTS TO ‘DUMB DOWN’ EVERYTHING TO YOUR LEVEL OF NOTHING AS A HUMAN RIGHT, OTHERWISE ITS JUST TO HARD FOR A SIMPLE FOLK WHO BELIEVE WHAT THE ARE TOLD ON THE NEWS…

SEE SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU HAVE SOME ‘CHEMICAL EXPERIENCE’ OF THE NEXT TEST, CONSCIOUS SUFFERING, BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME EXPERIENCE OF WHAT THAT ACTUALLY MEANS – TO DISASSOCIATE FROM YOURSELF – TO SEPARATE OUT ‘YOUR FEELING’ FROM ‘THE FEELINGS OF YOUR MEAT’, WHICH IS ‘YOU THE CHILDS FEELINGS’. YOU DON’T FEEL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU BREAK ‘THE CHILDISH IDENTIFICATION’ OF ‘YOU’ WITH ‘YOU YOUR MEAT’.  

SO YOU THEN KNOW ‘YOU’, REAL YOU FEELS DIFFERENTLY, AND THE VOLUME OF YOUR MEATS FEELINGS IS TURNED WAY DOWN – YOU WILL KNOW IT IS ‘NOT YOU’, BECAUSE YOU WILL KNOW WHAT ‘REAL YOU’ IS, BY COMPARISON. THEN YOU WILL KNOW HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL, AND BEING COMPELLED TO ACT BY SOMETHING THAT IS ‘NOT YOU’ IS JUST TOO FUCKING STUPID FOR WORDS – AT THAT POINT SOME FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A MILD FORM OF POSSESION, LIKE SOMETHING SELF IS INSERTING THOUGHTS INTO YOUR HEAD, ITS REALLY RATHER SPOOKY, BUT IT IS STILL JUST YOU THE CHILD, AT LEAST FOR MOST PEOPLE. 

THEN ALL OF THIS GETS WAY EASIER, JUST DON’T TAKE HORSE TRANQUILIZES, THE ‘BROKEN DOWN PORN STARS’ DRUG OF CHOICE, THIS IS NOT SOME CREEPY LITTLE PARASITIC FREAK OFF, AS THE COST OF THAT ‘FORCED, TEMPORARY, UNHAPPY DISASSOCIATION’ WILL MOST LIKELY BREAK YOU, EVEN KILL YOU IN THE END.

SEE UNSCHOOLED GIFTED USE DRUGS LIKE TEEN GANGSTERS USE GUNS, YOU USE THEM TO DO THINGS YOU COULD NOT ON YOUR OWN, WHICH IN A SPIRITUAL SENSE MEANS ACHIEVE STATES THAT YOU ARE JUST TOO STUPID, LAZY AND WEAK TO ACHIEVE NATURALLY, BUT THE KICKER IS THAT YOU END UP POINTING THAT GUN AT YOUR OWN HEAD, WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF ‘THE MONEY’ YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THOSE STATES, AND YOUR WEAKNESS DESTROYS YOU.

ITS A DIFFICULT THING AT YOUR LEVEL TO GET, BUT THE GREAT TRICK FOR ALL HEDONISTS, THE MENTAL GATEWAY INTO SPIRITUALITY PROPER AS AN OBSESSION, IS THE REALIZATION THAT SPIRITUALITY REPLACES DRUGS, BECAUSE IT REPLACES THE PROCESS OF DRUGS WITH A WAY BETTER AND PERMANENT VERSION – CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION – INDEED SPIRITUALITY IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN CHASING THIS WHOLE TIME, IF YOU ARE GIFTED…

NOTED! and I PROMISE I’LL HAVE DECENT QUESTIONS NEXT TIME, just assure me you will actually BE THERE? 

I WILL, ONCE YOU HAVE GROWN UP SOME, AS I SUSPECT YOU MAY ACTUALLY ‘BE INTERESTING’ BY THEN! SORRY, THE CURSE OF THE TEACHER – TO ‘LAB RAT’ GOOD STUDENTS – IS A CONSTANT TRIAL, BUT IN REALITY WE ARE REQUIRED TO HELP ‘ALL GIFTED’ TO HELP THEMSELVES, EVEN IF WE DON’T LIKE YOU, EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE MY ENEMY IT DOES NOT MATTER WHATEVER DELUSIONAL LITTLE PHASE OF YOUR ANIMAL EXISTENCE YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, ITS JUST AT THE START IT CAN ALL BE QUITE TEDIOUS – YOUR STUPIDITY MAKES YOU BORING.

I LIKE GIFTED HEDONISTS BECAUSE I USED TO BE ONE, SO I KNOW IT IS MUCH HARDER TO ESCAPE CHILDHOOD WHEN YOU ARE ONE – I KNOW HOW TO DO IT, MOST TEACHERS DON’T, SO THEY SHUN YOU LIKE ‘POISON’. ANYWAY IN REALITY ONCE THE CONNECTION HAS FORMED BETWEEN GIFTED IT CANNOT BE BROKEN UNTIL DEATH. WITH ANIMALS LIFE IS ABOUT THE RANDOM CHANCE OF WHAT IS IT FRONT OF YOU NOW, SO EVERYTHING IS GONE THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS, SO NOTHING REALLY MATTERS, WITH GIFTED THE PAST IS ALWAYS THERE, INDEED IT IS MORE REAL THAN THE PRESENT.

ALL FOR ANOTHER TIME, AFTER YOU HAVE GROWN UP, JUST REMEMBER THE OVERWHELMING POWER OF EVOLUTION – YOU ADAPT OR YOUR BURN – AND YOU WON’T GO FAR WRONG AS GIFTED, IE IF YOU HAVE A CONSCIENCE. THE POWER TO CHANGE, TO ‘CHANGE SIDES’, TO CHANGE LOCATION/JOB/FRIENDS/PARTNER, TO CHANGE ‘YOUR ROLE’, TO CHANGE ‘YOUR STANCE’ IS EVERYTHING. ANYTHING THAT STOPS YOU CHANGING IS FEAR BASED, IS CHILDISH, IS WEAK, IS STUPID, SO BE RUTHLESS INSTEAD, LET LIFE FIND YOU – REMEMBER THIS, AND YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A CORRECT PLACE TO START FROM WHEN YOU ‘FEEL STUCK’, SO YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO INSTEAD OF COMFORT YOURSELF LIKE A BITCH – CHANGE.   

So when you break it down IT IS THE BELIEF that ‘MY CHARACTER IS PERMANENT’ instead of just a ROLE that HAS TO GO, otherwise I could never CHANGE?

EXACTLY! – THIS IS WHAT ALL LASTING CHANGES DEPENDS ON, THE KNOWLEDGE THAT ‘ALL THIS IS TEMPORARY’, INCLUDING YOU! IT IS ONLY YOU THE CHILD THAT WANTS TO STAY THE SAME, BECAUSE ‘YOU THE CHILD CAN’T CHANGE’, IT IS MADE OF FIXED PATTERN REACTIONS – SO ALL CHANGE, NO MATTER HOW TRIVIAL IS A LITTLE BIT MORE OF ‘THE DEATH OF YOU THE CHILD’ AS THE CONTROLLING FORCE IN YOUR LIFE. THEN YOU WILL DEVALUE ACTING OUT THE SAME OLD SHIT YOUR PATTERNS WANT YOU TO DO NOW, AND WANT THAT ‘SAME OLD SHIT’ FAR, FAR LESS THAN YOU DO NOW.

SO, BECAUSE WHAT YOU HAVE JUST ASKED PASSESS YET ANOTHER LITTLE TEST ON YOUR TRIP, I’LL REWARD YOU FOR IT WITH THIS :-

TIMES PASSES LITTLE GIRL, EVEN WHAT YOU WERE 5MINS AGO HAS ALREADY GONE, ALREADY CHANGED CAUSE ‘THE MOMENT OF YOUR THOUGHTS, THOSE SPECIFIC FEELINGS HAS PASSED’ AND YOU ARE DIFFERENT. CHANGE IS CONSTANT, IT IS ONLY THE PROCESSES OF A CHILD, TO CLING ONTO ANY ‘STABLE NOW’ THEY THINK  THEY HAVE AS A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH OUT OF ‘FEAR OF INSTABILITY’, WHICH IS THE FABLED ‘FEAR OF FEAR ITSELF’ THAT FORMS ‘THE SIZE AND SHAPE OF YOUR CAGE’. BUT ITS ALL A TOTAL CON PLAYED ON YOU BY YOUR GUTLESS INNER CHILD – EVERYTHING CHANGES ALL THE TIME, SO YOU HAVE TO WELCOME CHANGE, LEARN TO CHASE CHANGE FOR ITS OWN SAKE, OTHERWISE YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER KING LEAR SHOUTING ‘ORDERS AT THE TIDE’ WHILST BOTH YOUR BODY AND MIND ‘ROT OUT’.

SEE THE TERRIBLE IRONY OF CLINGING ONTO YOUR CHILDISH ‘NO CHARACTER’ IS YOU ACTUALLY ARE CHANGING ALREADY, ALL THE TIME, YOU JUST BLANK IT OUT, GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND THEN AT AN OLD PICTURE OF YOURSELF IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME. TRYING NOT TO CHANGE DOES NOT STOP CHANGE, YOU JUST DECAY INSTEAD, SLOWLY DISSIPATING YOUR REMAINING ENERGY ON SHITE THAT ACTUALLY HASTENS YOUR PAINFUL, UNSTOPPABLE DEMISE, BUT POSITIVE CHANGE AS A DECISION CAN STOP THAT DECAY – – SO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR ‘INEVITABLE CHANGE’, TAKE THE OPPORTUNITIES IT BRINGS, YOU OWE NOBODY NOTHING, DON’T LIVE IN FEAR OF LIFE ITSELF, OF ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’, AS YOUR DEATH IS CERTAIN!

THEN ONE DAY YOU WILL REALIZE, HOPEFULLY BEFORE YOUR REMAINING ENERGY TODAY HAS GONE, THAT ‘YOU ARE HERE AND IT IS NOW’, AND SO DEAL WITH THAT ‘REALITY OF NOW’, THEN START TO FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF YOUR CURRENT OBLIGATIONS, REPUTATION, OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT, OF YOUR FATE OF A CHILD, INSTEAD OF RETIRING TO YOUR CHILDLIKE MIND AND COMFORTING YOURSELF IN YET ANOTHER CONSTANT STREAM OF ‘FANTASY WORLDS’, THAT BECOME EVEN LESS LIKELY TO HAPPEN THE MORE YOU LIVE IN THEM – YOU THE CHILD IS DESTROYING WHAT YOU WANT ON PURPOSE, IT GETS YOU TO WASTE THE POWER, THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO DO IT ON ‘IMAGINING THE PROCESS OF DOING IT’, INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY DOING IT!

WHAT? WHERE IS THE BLOODY HARM IN WASTING A BIT OF ENERGY ON THIS OR THAT DAYDREAM, I know I can’t ‘live that dream’, so ITS THE ONLY WAY?  

Mmmm, see that stupidity is what is going to finish you in the end, A THOUGHTLESS, REACTIVE DEFENSE TROTTED OUT TO ME AS AN IMMEDIATE DENIAL OF THE TRUTH BECAUSE OF JUST HOW MUCH YOU NEED TO FANTASIZE TO COPE, THE EGOIC HORROR OF NOT BEING ABLE TO DO IT WAS TO MUCH TO CONSIDER THE OPTION EVEN FOR A MOMENT, EH. BE CLEAR – THERE IS TREMENDOUS HARM IN USING YOU REMAINING ENERGY ‘TO DREAM OF DOING’ INSTEAD OF REALLY DOING, OBVIOUSLY = DREAMING ACTUALLY BECOMES YOUR DOING, SO YOU TURN INTO A FUCKING VEGETABLE WHO IS HAPPY TO BE PERMANENTLY ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL OF YOUR OWN LIFE!

BECAUSE OF JUST HOW FUCKING STUPID WHAT YOU HAVE JUST SAID IS I’LL EVEN RAMP IT UP A NOTCH JUST FOR YOU – CONSTANTLY LIVING BOTH IN AND VIA YOUR IMAGNATION IS A FORM OF ‘MENTAL CANCER’, AS IT WORKS EXACTLY LIKE CANCER – IT PERVERTS A NATURAL PROCESS INTO AN UN-NATURAL GROWTH THAT GLOGS YOUR ATTENTION AND STEALS ALL THE ENERGY YOU NEED FOR ESSENTIAL NATURAL PROCESSES, IT JUST GROWS AND GROWS UNTIL IT KILLS YOU DICKHEAD, UNLESS YOU GROW THE BALLS TO ‘CUT IT OUT’…

SEE IT AT THE TOP LEVEL – OVERTME DREAMING VIA IMAGINATION BECOMES SO INSIDIOUS, SO UNCONSCIOUS EVEN YOUR EXISITNG ABILITY TO DO ANYTHING DEGRADES AND YOU FAIL AT SHIT YOU COULD ACTUALLY ONCE DO, INDEED YOU START TO ACCEPT THE SHRINKING SIZE OF YOUR ABILITIES AS NORMAL – A LIFE OF CONSTANT, INCREASING FAILURE.

HELL EVEN THE SIZE OF YOUR FANTASIES DECLINES – DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER WHAT YOU ONCE FANTASIZED ABOUT BEING, A MOVIE STAR, A POP IDOL, A PRINCESS, A WARRIOR, AN ARTIST OF ANY KIND? BUT NOW YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT NORMAL SHIT JUST WITH CIRCUMSTANCE OR PEOPLE WHO FOR SOME REASON ARE NOW BEYOND YOUR REACH – YOU DON’T EVEN FANTASIZE ABOUT ESCAPING YOUR DOGSHIT OF A LIFE ANYMORE, ABOUT HAVING A GOAL OR EVEN A FUCKING DECENT CAREER, YOU FANTAZISE ABOUT ‘SPEAKING UP’, ABOUT DEFENDING YOURSELF, ABOUT MOMENTARY TYPES OF SEX OR VIOLENCE OR JUST BEING ‘THINNER’, OF SIMPLY DOING WHAT YOU ONCE DID, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ‘SHRUNK’, AND CONTINUE TO SHRINK VIA FANTASY.

SO DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS CANCER HAS ALREADY DONE TO YOU? IT HAS MADE YOU VERY, VERY SMALL, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS SMALLER, MORE TEMPORARY, FLAKEY, BANAL, AND YOU THINK THAT IS HARMLESS, A BIT OF FUN – TO BOTTLE LIFE, TO BOTTLE CHALLENGE AND DREAM ABOUT IT INSTEAD IS THE FUCKING ROOT CAUSE OF ALL FAILURE TO GROW UP, BECAUSE IT IS THE PROCESS OF YOUR FAILURE TO GROW UP ITSELF, JUST PLAYING OUT CONSTANTLY, OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU DIE, UNDERSTAND – you fantasize about being a grown up because you can’t do it for real!!!

Ok, so you expect me to believe that because I failed to grow up as a kid, I NOW JUST DREAM ABOUT DOING ADULT STUFF INSTEAD, AS A COMFORT?  

YES!!!! – THIS IS WHAT THE LIFE OF A CHILD IS ALL BASED ON, ALL DAY EVERY DAY, to COMFORT YOURSELF FOR ‘FAILING TO GROW UP’…

….YOUR REALITY OF A CHILD IS A COMFORTING FANTASY THAT DOES NOT EXIST, YOU LIVE BY CONSTANTLY SWITCHING IN AND OUT OF DAYDREAMS TO FEEL A BIT BETTER – STOP IT, CRUSH ANY TENDENCY IN YOURSELF TO DAYDREAM AND CHANGE INSTEAD! SEE IF YOU CHECK ‘YOURSELF’ REGUARLY YOU WILL OFTEN FIND YOU ARE NOT PRESENT AT ALL, YOU HAVE SWITCHED INTO ‘IMAGINATION MODE’ WITHOUT EVER CONSCIOUSLY DECIDING TOO, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT A CHILD DOES – IT PLAYS WITH DOLLIES IN ITS MIND TO REPLACE ITS REALITY WITH COMFORT FOR A WHILE, AND AS YOU AGE THAT WHILE GETS LONGER AND LONGER, BECAUSE YOU NEED IT TO GET LONGER AND LONGER, EVEN SWITCHING TO CONSTANT DRUG USE TO ASSIST IN THE CREATION OF THESE FANTASIES, IN ORDER TO COPE WITH THE MASSIVE GAP BETWEEN YOUR CHILD AND YOUR REALITY. 

YES, MUCH AS ITS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THE 2 ARTIFACTS OF YOUR PERSONALITY THAT WERE CREATED BY ‘THE ACT OF NOT GROWING UP’, OF NOT USING THE HUGE AMOUNT OF SELF CONSCIOUS ENERGY YOU ONCE HAD FOR ITS CORRECT PURPOSE, ITS MORE IMPORTANT TO RELATE THEM TO YOUR ACTUAL LIFE NOW – WHAT YOU DO NOW AS A CHILD THAT IS UNNATURAL, YET YOU NOW ACCEPTED AS NORMAL. THESE ARTIFACTS ARE THE TENDENCY TO ‘LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION’ AND YOUR TENDENCY TO ‘SEEK EMOTIONAL COMFORT/RELIEF IN YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS’, GOOD OR BAD, BOTH OF WHICH YOU HAVE TO CRUSH AS THEY COME FROM THE SAME THING – THE MISS USE OF COLLOSAL, AND I DO MEAN HUGE AMOUNTS OF YOUR ENERGY TO DO NOTHING BUT EXHAUST YOURSELF, WHETHER AWAKE OR ASLEEP, OUT OF FEAR OR ITS REFLECTION OF DESIRE.

YES, WHAT YOU DID, PROBABLY OVER SEVERAL DIFFERENT ‘TYPES OR SCENARIOS OF RECURRING CONFLICT’ WAS BOTTLE IT AND ACCEPT THE HUMILIATION OF FAILURE SENT BY YOUR CONSCIENCE BY MITIGATING IT WITH SOME DUMB LITTLE FANTASY – YOU STOPPED TRYING TO WIN, SO YOU HAD TO MAKE IT BEARABLE THROUGH IMAGINATION INSTEAD, BY BOTH COMFORTING YOURSELF WITH FANTASY DAYDREAMS AND TRYING TO AVOID ANY FUTURE CHALLENGE ‘YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WIN’ BY SEEKING ALL FORMS OF RE-ASSURANCE IN YOUR INTERACTIONS, THEN YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO TRY AND WIN – YOUR WHOLE APPROACH TO LIFE IS TO LOSE ON PURPOSE. NOW BOTH OF THESE MASTER PATTERNS OF A CHILD ARE SO HABITUAL AND COMPULSIVE THAT YOU SIMPLY DON’T NOTICE THEM ANYMORE, SO THEY ARE NORMAL, THEY ARE ‘HOW YOU WORK BY CHOICE’.

SEE THESE TENDENCIES WORK AS A FORM OF ‘PRE-CONDITIONING’ YOUR REALITY, OF PRE-COMFORTING YOURSELF, OF PRE-REACTING TO A REALITY THAT LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE IT MIGHT HURT YOU THE KID, SO THEN YOU ARE ‘OVER-PROTECTED’ EVEN FROM POTENTIAL EGOIC HARM, SO YOU DON’T FEEL THE SHAME OF CONSTANTLY FAILURE ANYMORE, INDEED YOUR EXPERIENCE OF YOUR PRECIOUS CONSCIENCE ITSELF IS WEAKENED DOWN TO NOTHING. BUT IF YOU EVER LEARNT TO MEDITATE IN ORDER TO SEE ‘INSIDE YOURSELF’ YOU WOULD FIND THESE FANTASIES ARE ACTUALLY ‘FORCED INTO YOUR MIND’, THERE IS NO CHOICE, AS ANYTIME YOU FOCUS YOUR MIND FOR A SECOND YOU WILL BE ATTACKED BY FORCED IMAGINATION RECAPTURING YOUR MIND AND SPIRALING AWAY INTO YET ANOTHER POINTLESS DAYDREAM – YET THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

I don’t THINK THIS BIT IS FOR ME, I don’t spend my life IMAGINING ‘HAPPY’ SHIT, BUT I WATCH STUFF AND DREAM, that is normal, EVERYONE FANTASIZES!

NO IT IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL AND YOU DO IT WAY MORE THAN YOU REMEMBER BECAUSE IT SLOWLY CREEPS INTO EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE, EVEN YOUR SPEECH, YOUR OPINIONS IN THIS DAY AND AGE ARE CORRUPTED BY FANTASIES AS YOU THINK YOU ARE ‘ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION’, YET YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 90% OF YOUR OPINIONS OTHER THAN WHAT YOUR OPINION HAS BEEN MANIPULATED INTO BEING BY THE NEWS CYCLE – FACTS CURATED AND PRESENTED OH SO SUBTLY AS ‘THE OPINION’ THEY WANT YOU TO HAVE – LITTLE MORE THAN ‘PROPAGANDA’. 

ALL OF THIS SHIT IS THE REPLACEMENT THERAPY FOR NOT GROWING UP INTO THE LIFE OF AN ADULT! JUST STOP EVEN THIS COMPENSATION AND YOU WILL FIND OUT YOU STILL HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH TO GROW UP – YOU JUST PISS IT AWAY ON ALL YOUR FAKE COOLNESS, AS THIS FOR MANY IS THE PRIMARY WAY YOU WASTE YOURSELF ON YOUR FANTASIES, THIS IS THE LOCK ON YOUR CAGE, WHAT YOU CANNOT DO WITH OUT, YOUR DELUSIONS ABOUT YOURSELF, YOUR SECRET CLEVERNESS, YOUR PRIDE, YOUR ABILITY TO COPE WITH MASSIVE, REPETITIVE FAILURE TO DO THE BASICS OF LIFE – YOU ARE DUMB AS A POST, FOLKS LIKE ME LAUGH AT YOU, AS WE SEE THE TRUTH OF YOU BEFORE YOU SAY A FUCKING WORD ‘IN MITIGATION’ OF WHY YOU ARE LIKE THIS, EVEN THOUGH YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT US TO KNOW THAT, TO APOLOGIZE FOR ALL YOUR STUPIDITY, SO FUCKING CHANGE INSTEAD, EH…

SO YOU MUST STOP WASTING YOUR ENERGY THIS WAY IF YOU WANT TO GROW UP FAST – YOU ARE HERE AND IT IS NOW, MAKE SOMETHING OF THAT ‘NOW’ INSTEAD OF FANTAZING ABOUT YOUR FEARS AND DESIRES WHILST DOING NOTHING – STOP DREAMING AND DO SHIT! IF NOTHING ELSE KNOW THAT YOU KILL YOUR REAL LIFE, THE LIFE OF ‘LIVING IN THE POWER OF CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS, INSIGHTS, PLEASURES’ THROUGH WASTING THE ENERGY YOU NEED FOR THEM ON EMPTY IMAGINATION YOU DON’T EVEN WANT OR ASK FOR, AS YOU CAN’T STOP IT UNTIL YOU PUT A STICK IN THE GROUND AND FUCKING ‘TRY’ BY STOPPING YOURSELF EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU NOTICE YOURSELF START TO DO IT AS ‘A CHILDS REACTION’…

AN ADULT DOES NOT HAVE TO FANTIZISE, DOES NOT NEED TO SEEK CONSTANT PRE-CONDITIONED COMFORT VIA ITS INTERACTIONS, BUT MOST OF ALL AN ADULT DOES NOT TALK IN COMFORTING PATTERNS OF OBVIOUS, FAKE OPINIONS THAT IT HAS JUST SEEN ‘AN OPPORTUNITY IN CONVERSATION’ TO TRY AND MAKE ITSELF ‘LOOK BETTER THAN IT IS’ BY SAYING THE FIRST LOAD OF CONTRIVED OR INSIGHTFUL SHIT THAT COMES INTO ITS MIND BECAUSE THEY THINK IT ‘MAKES THEM LOOK CLEVER’, LIKE A TOTAL CUNT!

OK THEN, BUT HOW DO YOU FIX THAT, GIVEN THAT IS MOST OF WHO I AM, WHAT I THINK, HOW DO I SEE IT HAPPENING AND STOP IT? 

SADLY MOST NEED TO BE HARD SHOCKED INTO THAT, TO CONSCIOUSLY GIVE UP ON THEIR ENTIRE ‘CHARACTER OF FANTAZING’ BEFORE THEY ACTUALLY SEE THE DELUSIONAL MESS OF IT, BUT SOME CAN STILL MAKE THAT ‘JUMP IN THE MOMENT’ THEMSELVES, HOWEVER MUCH THEY MUST START ABSTRACTLY WITHOUT PROOF THAT IT WORKS – THE PROOF, THE ADDITIONAL ENERGY AND ‘INSIGHT’ ONLY COMES AFTER YOU HAVE LEARNT HOW TO DO IT, AS THE FREE ENERGY SAVED BY NOT DOING IT WILL BE USED TO HELP YOU DO IT MORE, CONSCIOUSLY. IT IS THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING CONSCIOUS SUFFERING AS IT PROVIDES ‘THE PROOF THAT IT WORKS’.

AND THEN ALL ELSE IS EASY, AS YOU WILL WANT TO SUFFER MORE AND SO PICK AND CHOOSE YOUR SUFFERING CONSCIOUSLY, SLOWLY EXPANDING YOUR SKILL TO SUFFER WHEN AND ONLY WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO BY NOT GIVING INTO YOUR COMFORTS, THAT IS WHAT SUFFERING IS AT THE START. BUT RIGHT NOW WHEN YOU ‘STOP TAKING COMFORT AS A DRUG’ YOU THINK YOU SUFFER FROM THAT STOPPING, BUT ITS ALL A CHILDS CON, YOU WERE SUFFERING BEFORE ANYWAY, SO YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM STOPPING, YOU ARE SIMPLY ‘NOT COMFORTING YOURSELF’ LIKE CUNT ANYMORE SO YOU GET TO ‘KEEP THAT ENERGY FOR YOURSELF’! AND THEN YOU WILL START TO ‘SEE THROUGH YOUR SUFFERING’…

TRY AND GET THIS AGAIN AS YOUR KID WILL GO OUT OF ITS WAY TO ‘BLUR THIS OUT’ ON THE PAGE – YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM ‘A LACK OF MOMENTARY COMFORT’, YOU WERE SUFFERING BEFORE, AND THAT MOMENTARY COMFORT JUST COVERS OVER THAT TENSION WITH A ‘SENSE OF RELEASE’, OF ‘MOMENTARY RELIEF’, BUT THAT IS FAKE. ALL YOUR RELEASE DOES IS BREAK YOUR CONNECTION TO YOUR SUFFERING FOR A MOMENT, ‘DISTRACT YOU EMOTIONALLY’, BEFORE COMING BACK STRONGER, WORSE LATER ON. YOU WEAR INCREASINGLY TIGHT SHOES FOR THE PLEASURE OF TAKING THEM OFF – ITS A CON – BUT YOU HAVE LEARNT TO FEED OFF THAT CON TO MAKE YOUR ‘LIFE OF A CHILD’ BEARABLE IN SHORT BURSTS, WHILST IT SLOWLY GETS WORSE. OVERTIME YOUR FEET ‘BECOME HARDER’ SO YOU HAVE TO TIGHTEN THOSE SHOES TO GET THE SAME HIT OF RELIEF, SO IN THE END YOU WILLINGLY ‘CRIPPLE YOURSELF’, ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT NOW ‘YOU HAVE NO FEELING LEFT’, SO NOTHING WORKS... 

BUT YOU MUST SEE THIS IN REAL TIME, SEE SUFFERING FOR WHAT IT IS IN THE MOMENT TO CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD SUFFERING, AND THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’, AS YOU WILL GET THERE MUCH QUICKER IF YOU DO – IT WILL GIVE YOU REALTIME BENEFIT, AND HENCE REAL TIME ‘FAITH IN THE PROCESS’. YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE BANAL LIFE OF A CHILD, A WHOLE LIFE OF SUFFERING AS A BASELINE STATE, BUT YOUR COMFORTS ARE NOTHING, TEDIOUS, SHITTY LITTLE THINGS THAT ‘DISGRACE YOU’, AS YOU LOSE YOUR ‘NATURAL GRACE’ = ENERGETIC POWER BY TRADING IT AWAY FOR ‘FEELING SLIGHTLY BETTER’, DIRECTLY RELATED TO HOW MUCH YOU SUFFER!

MUCH AS IT A POOR, TEMPORARY ANALOGY, THE EASIEST ONE FOR A CHILD TO HANG ONTO IS THIS – THE MORE YOU CONSCIOUSLY SUFFER FROM ‘NOT COMFORTING YOURSELF’, THE MORE YOUR ENEGEY BUILDS AND HIGHER YOUR SELF CONSCIOUSNESS RISES ABOVE YOUR ANIMAL SUFFERING, SO THE LESS YOU FEEL IT AND THE MORE ENERGY YOU WILL HAVE TO DO, WHICH IS ‘TO CHANGE’.

UNDERSTAND, YOU DON’T NEED TO WEAR A HAIR SHIRT, YOU JUST NEED TO STOP BEING ‘A COMFORTING CUNT’.   

WOW… but even as that HITS NOW, I CAN ALREADY FEEL IT SLIPPING AWAY – MY CHILD IS BLURING IT OUT SO I FORGET, so how does it happen when it works, when you remember, I MEAN PRACTICALLY?

IT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AS A CHILD, WHEN YOU HAVE ‘NO CHOICE BUT TO FIGHT’, SO YOU SUFFER CONSCIOUSLY FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF YOU, TO SURVIVE DEATH IN SOMEWAY, WHICH IS WHY THE MYSTERY SCHOOLS STILL ‘FAKE THAT’ PROCESS. LONG STORY SHORT, MUCH AS I HAVE ADDED MY STORY LATER BELOW, I DID THIS ALONG TIME AGO, AND MUCH AS IT HALF KILLED ME MORE THAN ONCE IT ENDED UP HALF KILLING SEVERAL ‘OTHER PEOPLE’ INSTEAD, AND THAT, FOR ME, WAS ‘THE FIGHT OF IT’.

MUCH AS THAT FIGHT IS UNLIKELY TO BE YOURS, DON’T BE SURPRISED IF GROWING UP DOES INVOLVE ‘SOME KIND OF (LONG OVERDUE) BRAWL’ THAT BREAKS DOWN YOUR FANTASIES, FIRST ABOUT OTHERS AND THEN YOUR OWN OPINIONS, YOUR VALUE STRUCTURES, AS THAT IS HOW IT WORKS BEST, HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK AS A CHILD TO GIVE YOU ‘A SENSE OF SUPERIORITY BY WINNING’ – THE SENSE OF A FELT ‘QUICKENING OF YOUR MIND’ WHEN ‘THE SELF CONSCIOUSNESS’ YOU NEED TO CHANGE AND WIN THAT FIGHT ‘STARTS TO HIT’. PLUS THE RESULTS TEND TO BE PERMANENT, WITH LITTLE OF THE OTHERWISE ‘CONSTANT PRESSURE TO BACKSLIDE’ YOU SEE IN WOKE, LIBERAL, ‘MORAL TRY-HARD’ BUDDHISTS WHO CREATE A EVEN BIGGER FANTASY WORLD BY PRETENDING ‘TO BE GOOD’ IN THEIR ‘OWN OPINION’…

HOWEVER FAR AWAY THAT FEELS NOW, THE FIRST TRICK IS TO SEE ALL YOUR EGO-DEFENSIVE REACTIONS IN A GENERAL WAY AS NOTHING MORE THAN THE HUNGER PANGS CAUSED BY WALKING PASSED A FAST FOOD VENDOR, THAT DID NOT EXIST BEFORE YOU SAW THAT VENDOR AND WON’T EXIST AFTER YOU HAVE PASSED BY. THEN YOU WILL BREAK THE HABIT OF EGO-DEFENSIVE REACTIONS CAUSE YOU WILL ‘IMPLANT A SELF-CHECK HABIT’ IN YOURSELF, AND IN TIME ‘BREAK YOUR COWARDICE’, YOUR ‘WEAKNESS IN THE FACE OF EGOIC REACTION’, BECAUSE YOU WILL START TO UNDERSTAND ‘WHAT SUFFERING IS’ FOR YOU, PERSONALLY, BECAUSE A PARTICUARLY TYPE OF SUFFERING VIA ‘LACK OF COMFORT’ WILL APPEAR TO YOU – YOUR KEY FEATURE. 

Mmmm, it a strange thing that FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY is the root of all, but if you want some advice for the GEN-ZS out there say this – ‘THE CAVE YOU FEAR TO ENTER HOLDS THE TREASURE YOU SEEK’, I read it somewhere and it is how I will remember all of this, GIVEN THAT IS RIGHT? 

NO, however banal and over used that quote has become what you really mean is you now understand that FEAR IS ALL YOUR EGO-DEFENSE IS, indeed there is no actual EGO BEHIND THAT, so there is NO CHARACTER BEHIND YOUR DEFENSES, YOUR EGO-DEFENSE OF A CHILD IS AUTOMATIC, OUT OF DATE, AND NEVER FUCKING WORKED IN THE FIRST PLACE, that is why WE INSIST ON CALLING YOU NOTHING AT THE BEGINNING – AN EMPTY VESSEL. THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU SEE YOU ARE ACTUALLY AN OPINIONLESS VOID, WITH NO PREFERENCES AT ALL, WHERE YOUR CHARACTER IS ACTUALLY A FALSE IMPRESSION OF CHARACTER THAT YOU NEVER GREW OUT IN CHILDHOOD IS PRICELESS, AS IT CURES YOU OF THE THOUGHT THAT YOU ‘KNOW BETTER’, THAT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THE LAST PIECE OF BANAL OBVIOUS SHIT THAT JUST POPPED INTO YOUR HEAD IN ORDER TO DEFEND.. WELL, NOTHING.

YOUR OPINIONS ARE SIMPLY MULTILAYERED PATTERN REACTIONS THAT TRIGGER FROM MEMORY – YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER, NO VALUES, IT IS ALL FEAR BASED. BE VERY CLEAR – YOU DO NOT CONTROL YOU, SOMETHING ELSE DOES AUTOMATICALLY VIA REACTIONS TO ANXIETY WHICH ARE UNCONSCIOUS, SOMETHING ELSE YOU ARE ONLY DIMMLY AWARE OF IN YOUR MOST SELF CONSCIOUS MOMENTS, SOMETHING ELSE THAT MAKES YOU FORGET, SO YOU THINK ITS YOU – YET IF YOU SAW IT WORK IN REALTIME THEN YOU WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN…

IT IS A SAD THING THAT MANY FOLKS REALLY ONLY TAKE GROWING UP SERIOUSLY WHEN THIS SUB-CONSCIOUS NOTHINGNESS STARTS TO DOMINATE THIER LIVES, THAT THEY ARE VACUOUS, DEVOID OF ANY MEANING OR POINT, WHICH THEY EXPERIENCE AS AN UNBEARABLE EMPTINESS, A FORM OF DEPRESSION, OF CONSTANT LOW MOOD WHICH NEEDS STRONG DRUGS OR SPIRITUALITY TO FIX. EVEN SADDER IS THAT THE PROCESS OF THE CURE IS THE LAST THING THEY WANT TO HEAR AT THAT POINT, THEY JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE A CHILD AGAIN, TO RELIVE PASSED GLORIES HOWEVER PATHETIC AND GRUBBY EVEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE, THAT ARE IN THEMSELVES THE DELUSIONS OF A CHILD, WHILST BEING TOLD BY SOCIETY THAT ITS OK TO DO SO…

YOU SIMPLY WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MANY AMAZING, SPIRITED CREATURES I’VE MET OVER THE YEARS WHOSE ENTIRE LIFE WAS DESTROYED AFTER SOME LITTLE PIECE OF BAD LUCK OR POOR DECISION MADE THEM WILLFULLY SHIPWRECK THIER ENTIRE FUTURE AS A FORM OF COMPENSATION FOR THAT, CHASING THAT DECISION WITH MUCH WORSE ONES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE RIGHT. THE DESPERATE NEED TO CLING ON TO THE NOTHING OF A CHILD, TO TRY AND CONSTANTLY FIND THE FEELING OF A LITTLE KID IN THIER 30S, EVEN 40S OVER AND OVER AGAIN RUINS YOU, BECAUSE IT TAKES ALL YOUR ENERGY AND MORE TO EVEN ATTEMPT THAT, AND WHEN YOU FAIL IT IS CAN BE SO OVERWHELMING THAT THEY CAN NEVER FACE IT, AS THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO EVEN THAT…   

BE GLAD THAT IS NOT YOU, YET – BON CHANCE HUN, WE WILL SPEAK AGAIN WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY WORTH LISTENING TOO OR YOU THINK YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE AND NEED ADVICE, AS YOUR CHANCE ‘AT LIFE’ HAS IMPROVED QUITE DRAMATICALLY NOW, SO ALL YOU NEED IS TO FIND THE ENERGY TO DO IT.

SO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 

YEAH, THERE IS NO SUPPORT GROUP AT THIS LEVEL, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO LEVEL, THAT IS ONLY FOR THE GROWN UPS – you are playing catch up FOR SOMETHING YOU SHOULD OF DONE DECADES AGO, sorry. SO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS YOU TRY, BY YOURSELF AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS – IF NOTHING ELSE YOU WILL SHORTLY DISCOVER THAT YOUR CONSTANT BAD LUCK OF A CHILD IMPROVES DRAMATICALLY, GIVEN YOU LEARN HOW TO ‘TRY’, that is – READ THE REST OF THIS POST IF YOU NEED HELP WITH THAT.

IN THE MEANTIME – WELCOME TO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE – YOUR 2ND CHANCE AT LIFE – TRUST ME IT WILL BE WAY MORE INTERESTING THAN THE CHEAP, FORMULAIC, LOWER MIDDLE CLASS, ANTI-HERO CRAP THAT MADE UP THE FIRST HALF. JUST DON’T FORGET TO ‘STYLE IT OUT’ WHEN IT ALL LOOKS A BIT GRIM, SEE HERE ON THE 4TH WAY WE HAVE STANDARDS, SO YOU NEED TO HAVE STANDARDS TOO, SO REMEMBER ALL THE WORLD IS WATCHING YOU, ALL THE FUCKING TIME. THAT MEANS YOU MUST START TO STOP LYING, SO STOP TRYING TO BE SECRETLY CLEVER ALL THE FUCKING TIME, AS YOU NOW KNOW YOU ARE SIMPLY MAKING AN EVEN BIGGER TOOL OF YOURSELF THAN YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE ANYWAY…

Sorry, my CHILD HAS CLEARLY BLANKED MY MIND, like it was waiting for you to leave so it could ‘ATTACK ME’ – WHAT DO I ACTUALLY DO NOW? 

COMMON ISSUE AT THE START – YOUR CHILD KNOWS TO STOP YOU TRYING BEFORE YOU HAVE TRIED EVEN ONCE IS THE BEST DEFENSE IT HAS, SO IT VERY USEFUL TO START TO SEE THESE UNBIDDEN AND TOTALLY FAKE REACTIONS AS ‘ATTACKS ON CONSCIOUS’ YOU, AS THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE – SO KNOW THIS IS WHAT ‘TRYING IS’, TO TRY AGAINST YOUR OWN RESISTANCE TO TRY, AS YOU HAD HALF THE ANSWER SO ITS NO HARM TO TELL YOU THE REST, BEFORE YOUR CHILD CONFUSES EVEN YOUR MEMORY OF THAT. SEE TO TRY WHEN THERE IS NO RESISTANCE TO TRYING IS NOT ACTUALLY TRYING, AS THAT IS YOU THE CHILD FAKING TRYING TO DELUDE YOU, AGAIN. YOU NEED RESISTANCE, FRICTION, INDEED IT HELPS A LOT IF ‘TRYING’ IS SLIGHTLY SCARY = EMOTION.  

DO TRY AND REMEMBER THIS, AS IF YOU FORGET THEN ‘IT’ WILL TURN ‘YOU’ TOWARD WOKENESS, NEW AGENESS,  ALL FORMS OF ‘PRETENSE’, WHERE YOU MAY EVEN THINK YOU ARE PRACTICING BUT IN REALITY YOU ARE ONLY ‘GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS FOR SHOW’, WHICH BECOMES ANOTHER COMFORT OF A CHILD. ‘THERE IS NO VALUE IN LIFTING A BAR WITHOUT WEIGHT ON IT’, IT MAY FEEL GOOD, BUT IT DOES NOTHING, AND MAKES AN EVEN BIGGER FOOL OF YOU – YOUR CHILD STOPS YOU KILLING IT BY MAKING YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE, SO ALL YOUR CONSCIOUS DESIRE FOR ‘BETTER THAN’ IS MIS-DIRECTED, WASTED, AS IT BECOMES WORSE THAN, SO YOU EVENTUALY QUIT IN TOTAL CONFUSION AND THINK ITS ALL BOLLOCKS. 

BUT WE MUST END THIS DIALOGUE, SO WE END WHERE WE BEGAN – THE CHARACTER OF ‘NO CHARACTER’ OF A CHILD – WHERE YOU FINALLY SEE HOW FUCKING STUPID IT IS TO TAKE THE ADVICE OF A EVER CHANGING COLLECTION OF DOORMEN, WHO HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OR INTEREST IN YOUR LIFE, AND SIMPLY REPEAT SOME VERSION OF ‘YOUR NAMES NOT DOWN YOU ARE NOT COMING IN’ AS THERE ONE AND ONLY JOB. THIS WILL QUICKLY LEAD TO THE REALIZATION THAT TO DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF THE HABITUAL PATTERN ROUTINES AND OBLIGATIONS OF A CHILD ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ HAS TO ORDER ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOU’ ABOUT, MAKING IT CLEAR THAT YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN THE PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO STOP YOU BY ADDING ‘NO EXCUSES’ TO THE END OF THAT ORDER.

YES, EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY LACK THE PATTERNS TO DO MANY THINGS AUTOMATICALLY, CONSCIOUS ORDERS WILL OVER POWER THAT LACK WHEN PERFECTED, AND YOU WILL FIND A WAY, BECAUSE CONSCIOUS ORDERS DON’T NEED PATTERNS, THEY USE A FORM OF WHAT YOU WOULD CURRENTLY CALL ‘SELF-BELIEF’, AND THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED TO PERFECT…

SO WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO NOW, TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON THIS MESSAGE – YOU ARE ‘NOTHING’, SO THERE IS ‘NOTHING TO CHANGE’, SO ‘CHANGE IS NOTHING’. IF NOTHING ELSE AT THE START IT WILL REMIND YOU OF THE SELF-CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT YOU ONCE FELT AS A CHILD, WHEN YOU ACTUALLY KNEW YOU WERE NOTHING, BUT NOW AS AN ADULT IT WILL FREE YOU UP TO START ‘TO STOP THE SHIT’ IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU THE CHILD HAS CREATED TO KEEP YOU TRAPPED IN ANXIETY FOREVER, YOUR ROUTINES AND OBLIGATIONS WILL LOSE THERE POWER OVER YOU, AND YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO BE WHAT YOU ALWAYS BEEN UNDERNEATH YOUR BURNING DESIRE TO FIT IN OUT OF FEAR – AN ‘INDIVIDUAL’.

OF COURSE, ALL YOU MAY WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW IS ‘FEEL BETTER’, SO JUST IN CASE YOU ARE STILL THAT FUCKING STUPID AFTER READING THIS PREAMBLE, YOU MAY WANT TO ‘ORDER YOURSELF TO FEEL BETTER’ AND STOP THINKING ABOUT FEELING WORSE – WRITE IT DOWN AND READ IT IF YOU ARE STILL SO CRIPPLED BY FEAR, BY YOU THE CHILD’S ONGOING HATRED OF CONSCIOUS YOU THAT YOU CAN’T SAY IT TO YOURSELF DIRECTLY.

THANKS, I already do a version of that, I CALL IT A ‘VISION BOARD’, which works as a reminder I’d say, but I will take it seriously now. 

SURE, MUCH AS THAT IS A FORM OF NEW AGENESS JUST MAKE SAW YOUR VISION OF YOURSELF IS NOW, TODAY, NOT IN THE FUTURE, AS THAT IS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR CHILDS FAVOURITE CONS – TO TURN UN-ACHEIVED GOALS THAT YOU ONCE DESIRED INTO MORE SHAME OF FAILURE, MORE ANXIETY, SO YOU REPRESS THEM, KILL THEM, AND IN SO FALL EVER MORE DEEPLY TO SLEEP IN ORDER TO FORGET THAT PAIN. YOU ONLY EVER HAVE THE NOW AS ‘THE MOMENT OF REMEMBERING’ THAT GOAL, IF YOU DON’T ACT ON IT IN THE MOMENT OF REMEMBERING IT THEN IT IS ALREADY HALF GONE…  

BUT WHO KNOWS, AFTER SOME PRACTICE YOU MAY ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING COOL, CLASSY, USEFUL THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO GIVEN YOU HAD THE FREE TIME, AND START BEING A FUCKING ‘GROWN UP’, INSTEAD OF A GUTLESS LITTLE ‘FUCK UP’. SO GO ON, HAVE A GO AT LIFE, THINK SOME SHIT UP THAT YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE THE GUTS TO DO NORMALLY AND JUST DO IT, NO MATTER HOW YOU THE CHILD THINKS ABOUT IT, NOW MATTER HOW TIRED, BORED, STRESSED, LAZY, UNHAPPY, PRESSURED, COMPELLED, OBLIGATED ‘YOU IMAGINE YOU FEEL’, HOW MUCH YOU HAVE LOST SOMETHING, HOW MUCH YOU SUDDENLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, ANSWER THAT CALL, THAT CHAT, THAT EMAIL – KNOW THAT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, SO IGNORE IT ALL AND DO ‘IT’, DO ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’, AS I’M TOLD THE KIDS SAY, INSTEAD OF THE BANAL ROUTINES OF ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOU’ TODAY.

So that is the most IMPORTANT POINT TO REMEMBER, to do everything SELF-CONSCIOUSLY FOR MYSELF, not my obligations or reactions to stress? 

ALL OF THESE TESTS ARE ABOUT TAKING CONTROL BACK CONSCIOUSLY FROM UNCONSCIOUS YOU, UP TO AND INCLUDING TO ‘DECIDING HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL’, SO NOT LETTING YOUR REACTIONS DECIDE FOR YOU, AS THAT IS THE PRINCIPLE METHOD OF CONTROL FOR YOU – THEY ARE ABOUT THE PREPARATION FOR THE ESSENTAIL DISASSOCIATION TEST  THAT FOLLOWS ALL OF THIS, SO YOU DON’T GET LOST IN IT. SO JUST TRY NOT TO BE BULLIED ABOUT SO MUCH BY ALL YOUR LITTLE COLLECTION OF ‘NIGHTCLUB BOUNCERS’, HOWEVER INTIMIDATING THEY ARE NOW, HOW EVER MUCH YOU HAVE FALLEN FOR THIER SIMPLE TRICK OF LOOKING SCARY WHILST BEING GUTLESS, ONE DAY YOU WILL REALIZE THEY DO ACTUALLY WORK FOR YOU AND, AFTER SOME PRACTICE, YOU WILL DISCOVER THEY WILL DO AS THEY ARE TOLD.

SO IF THE ODD ONE DOES NOT YOU JUST SACK THE BASTARD AND DO IT YOURSELF INSTEAD – TAKE OVER CONSCIOUS CONTROL OF WHAT YOU CURRENTLY DO UNCONSCIOUSLY, SLOWLY WITH A HUGE AMOUNT OF FOCUS, SO YOU RELEARN IT AGAIN FROM SCRATCH. SEE WHEN YOU DISCOVER WHAT YOUR ‘KEY FEATURE’ OF A CHILD IS LATER, YOU WILL ACTUALLY NEED TO DO THAT ANYWAY, SO THERE IS NO HARM IN LEARNING HOW TO RELEARN YOURSELF NOW, HELL THERE IS NOTHING BEHIND THOSE PATTERNS ANYWAY, YOU CAN THROW THEM AWAY AT WILL, AND GET ‘BETTER THAN’ BEFORE… 

AS YOU STILL SEEM TO WANT TO TALK… I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS TO THINK ABOUT INSTEAD, SO NO MORE QUESTIONS NOW, JUST SEE THIS IN YOURSELF – IT IS INTENDED TO ‘BE PROFOUND’. THE MAJOR ISSUE WITH THE POINTLESS, EMPTY BOOM AND BUST ‘CYCLES OF A CHILD’ IS NOT THE CYCLES THEMSELVES, NOT YOUR REACTIONS THAT MAKE UP THOSE CYCLES, IT IS THE ‘TRIGGERS’ FOR THOSE CYCLES. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND, IN ESSENCE WHAT TIGGERS MEAN, IN TERMS OF THE OVERWHELMING VULNERABILITY YOU HAVE TO THOSE TRIGGERS – YOU ARE STILL NOW, AND WILL BE FOREVER MORE UNLESS YOU CHANGE IT, AS SENSITIVE AS YOU WERE AS A LITTLE GIRL ON HER FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, ALL ADULT CHILDREN ARE. 

SORRY, I don’t understand, MY REACTIONS ARE MY TRIGGERS, and I can rationalize them after I act them out AND understand myself..? 

NOPE…

UNDERSTAND IT IS NOT NATURAL, NOT NORMAL AND INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS TO BE SO RIDICULOUSLY ‘FRAGILE’, OVER SENSITIVE TO WHATEVER YOU THINK IS HAPPENING TO YOU – THAT IS A CHILDS REALITY.

SEE THE REASON YOU THINK FOLKS LIKE ME SLIDE ‘RUTHLESSLY BETWEEN TOXIC MASCULINITY AND RADICAL OPTIMISM’ WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD IS THAT WE DO – ITS NORMAL FOR AN ADULT. BUT YOU DON’T, YOU ARE FAKING IT, YOU ARE A MESS OF VULNERABILITIES, STARING DOWN THE BARREL OF A GUN WAITING FOR IT TO GO BANG, AND THAT IS NOT NORMAL, INDEED THAT IS THE PRINCIPLE REASON YOU ARE STILL A BIG KID, BECAUSE IT CREATES A LIFE OF CONSTANT PATTERN REACTIONS – YOU HAVE TO REACT, REACT, REACT, AND THEN REACT SOME MORE. THE TRICK IN ORDER TO DO THIS IN POLITE SOCIETY IS TO LEARN HOW TO ‘RESPOND’, DEFLECT/BLANK INSTEAD, MUCH AS YOU WILL STOP BOTHERING WITH THAT LATER ON… 

BUT AT THIS POINT DON’T LOOK UP THE CONCEPTS OF ‘ATTACHMENT’ OR ‘IDENTIFICATION’ WHICH ARE THE PROCESSES BEHIND YOUR SENSITIVITY, THAT IS TO ABSTRACT TO BE USEFUL YET, WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS SEE WHAT CHANGES IN YOU JUST PRIOR TO ‘THE MOMENT YOU ARE TRIGGERED’ INTO YOUR MORE OBVIOUS MOOD SWINGS, AS THAT IS HOW YOU ARE CONTROLLED, MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY BY YOU THE CHILD. WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR TRIGGER IN AN ATTEMPT BY CONSCIOUS YOU OF COVERING UP THE REAL REASON BECAUSE IT IS JUST TO CHILDISH AND PATHETIC FOR WORDS…

I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF THIS INVESTIGATION – THE RUSH OF EMOTION THAT FOLLOWS YOUR TRIGGER AS IT IS PULLED, THAT IS HOW YOU SEE IT, BUT IT IS NOT WHAT PULLS THE TRIGGER, WHAT PULLS THAT TRIGGER IS HIDDEN FROM YOU, AND THE REASON IT IS HIDDEN FROM YOU IS THAT IF YOU SAW IT, WHICH MEANS FELT IT, THEN EVEN YOU, AS AN ANIMAL, WOULD UNDERSTAND JUST HOW UNBELIEVABLY CHILDISH YOU STILL ARE – YOU WOULD HATE YOURSELF FOR LOVING IT, SO YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT YOU THE CHILD IS ‘NOT YOU’.

SO THE QUESTION IS, CAN YOU FEEL WHAT ACTUALLY PULLS YOUR TRIGGER, BEFORE YOU FEEL THE URGENCY TO REACT?????? IF YOU CAN, YOU CAN KILL IT, AND SO KILL YOU THE CHILD, SO ITS NO HARM IN ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT IT FIRST – WHAT IS THE ACTUAL ‘THREAT’ YOUR EGO FEELS, IS IT A BATTLE OF WILLS OVER WHO IS RIGHT ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES YOU COOKED DINNER LAST WEEK. OR IS IT, PERHAPS, THE FEAR OF BEING ‘CAUGHT IN A LIE’, OR ‘THE PAIN OF HUMILIATION’, OR…. BUT YOU MUST SEE IT, YOU CANNOT SUPPOSE WHAT IT IS, IT MUST SHOCK YOU…

NOW I GET IT, ITS A SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS TRICK, I remember it from childhood – I felt my Triggers then, but I don’t now, I HAVE COVERED THEM UP.

REALLY? YOU DID NOT COVER THEM UP, YOU THE CHILD COVERED THEM UP, REPRESSED THEM, otherwise you would see the tail of that RATTY LITTLE EMOTION as it CROSSES YOUR MIND, and YOU WOULD STOP YOURSELF OUT OF THE CRUSHING EMBARRASSEMENT YOU WOULD THEN FEEL, THAT ALL OF THIS URGENT OVER-REACTION COMES FROM THE MIND OF A KID, AND EVEN YOUR MOST COMPLEX RATIONALIZATION IS SIMPLY COVERING UP YOUR SAD LITTLE CHILDISH FEELINGS, WHICH GOT HURT A MOMENT BEFORE….

But RIGHT now you JUST THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE ‘CLEVER’, instead of a silly little bitch, GET IT? 

ERRR….YES, listen I have taken up to much of your time…

…. and even several big chunks of the very productive conversation we have had today would be #CRINGE to you now, DON’T YOU THINK, cause YOU LIED, EVEN THOUGH YOU DID NOT NEED TO LIE, SO YOU LIED UNCONTROLLABLY, YOU LIED CAUSE IT MADE YOU FEEL CLEVER FOR A MOMENT, EVEN THOUGH YOU FEEL ANYTHING BUT CLEVER NOW, SO DON’T YOU THINK THATS KINDA WEIRD, KINDA TWISTED..? 

SEE THE REASON YOU ARE TREATED THE WAY YOU ARE BY FOLKS LIKE ME IS BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU ACT, AND THE WAY YOU ACT IS WITHOUT RESPECT, WITHOUT HONOR, BUT MOST OF ALL THE WAY YOU ACT IS LITTLE MORE THAN A CREEPY LITTLE KID DESPERATE TO GET AWAY WITH SOMETHING, ANYTHING, IN ORDER TO FEEL SECRETLY CLEVER, LIKE A CUNT, LIKE A TRIVIAL LITTLE CHILD. IN ORDER TO GROW UP YOU REALLY HAVE TO SEE THAT YOUR NORMAL IS SHIT, INDEED YOUR NORMAL IS NOT NORMAL, IT IS THE CURATED DELUSION OF A GOODNESS, OR A WORTHINESS YOU SIMPLY ARE NOT, SO YOU DESERVE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, DON’T YOU…

IN ORDER TO GROW UP YOU MUST STOP BEING PATHETIC, SO YOU MUST KILL YOUR ATTACHMENT TO THE DRUG OF SECRET CLEVERNESS, AS IT IS THE ROOT OF EVERYTHING SINGLE THING YOUR NO CHARACTER OF A CHILD IS USING TO DESTROY YOU, LITTLE BY LITTLE, EVERY FUCKING DAY – IF YOU WANT TO SIT AND DISCUSS THIS STUFF YOU HAVE TO BRING THE BEST YOU HAVE GOT TO THESE DISCUSSIONS, NOT THIS DUCK WALKING, SHIT TALKING, CLEVER LITTLE TOOL…

Sorry, I here my BUS coming, sorry, I MEANT NO DISRESPECT…. it was stupid. 

SURE YOU DID, AND THE ONLY REASON YOU SAY IT WAS STUPID IS BECAUSE YOU THINK IT WAS STUPID TO ‘GET CAUGHT’… but safe travels, little girl, AND BE GLAD OF ‘THAT BURN’ YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW – CAUSE NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS TO BE A BIG FUCKING KID, NOW, FOR ‘THIS BRIEF MOMENT’ YOU FEEL THE EMBARRASSMENT OF BEING YOURSELF, THE OVERWHELMING SHAME OF IT, THE POVERTY OF IT, THE FAKENESS OF IT… YES, NOW THAT BURN WILL HELP YOU SEE YOURSELF FOR A MOMENT, WHAT IT IS TO NEED THE ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’ OF A CHILD IN ORDER TO LIVE – TO FAKE YOU RESPONSES, TO HEDGE YOUR BETS, TO COVER YOURSELF, TO KEEP A FOOT IN BOTH CAMPS. THIS IS YOUR OWN LITTLE ‘SHAME TEST’, STUPID…

OR IS IT JUST THE ANXIETY OF BEING CAUGHT, EH, WITHOUT WHICH YOU WOULD BE TITTERING AWAY, SECRETLY SMILING AND CONGRATULATING YOURSELF ON ‘BEING RIGHT’, AGAIN? THINK ABOUT IT CAUSE THIS ONE MEANS YOU ARE ANIMAL TRASH, CANON FODDER, A DELUSIONAL CONSUMER TRYING TO BUY ‘A HIGHER QUALITY’ VERSION OF YOURSELF ONLINE, LEARNING YOUR LITTLE BUZZ WORDS AND CUTE GESTURES THAT YOU COPIED OFF SOMEONE ELSE, SO YOU THE CHILD DON’T HAVE TO TRY, YOU CAN BE WHOEVER YOU WANT IN PRIVATE, AS LONG AS YOU FAKE COOL PUBLICALLY, EH. 

SO NOW YOU KNOW WHY NO ONE BOTHERS WITH YOU, WHY EVERYONE SEES YOUR LACK OF VALUE, THE BULLSHIT OF A TRENDY OPINION YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND, YOUR SLIMY DESIRE TO FIT IN WITH WHOMEVER YOU ARE STANDING NEXT TO, YOUR DISLOYALTY, YOUR GUTLESSNESS, YOUR WEAKNESS, YOUR PATHETIC ATTEMPTS AT ONE UPMANSHIP, YOUR DESIRE TO SELL OUT EVERYONE YOU KNOW FOR PROFIT, TO PRETEND TO KNOW SOMETHING SO YOU CAN SELL IT FOR LIKES ON LINKEDIN.

FUNNY THEN THAT NO ONE TRUSTS YOU WITH A WARM CUP OF PISS, INDEED EVERYONE SELLS YOU OUT STRAIGHT AWAY IN ORDER TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM YOUR OBVIOUS, LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT, FOLKS EVEN LIE TO YOU IN ORDER TO STOP YOU HARVESTING THIER SECRETS, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING THERE TO VALUE, TO TRUST, NO OPINION OR CONSCIOUS CHARACTER, JUST PATTERN REACTIONS PRESENTED AS ‘LIKE AN OPINION’…

OK, OK! You win… I’m sure YOU ALWAYS WIN, DON’T YOU, THATS WHY YOU LOVE THESE ‘SHAME TESTS’…

NO, THIS DOES NOT MEAN ‘I WIN’, AND IF YOU WANT THE FULL VERSION OF THE POST DIALOGUE REFLECTION WALK IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS:-

THERE IS NO VALUE IN BEATING A CHILD IN DISCUSSION, IT IS DISHONORABLE, A NEGATIVE FEELING, WHAT THIS MEANS IS THAT ‘YOU LOSE MORE OF YOUR SELF RESPECT’, AGAIN, AND EVEN ON THAT WALK TO THE BUS YOU WON’T STOP REACTING TO THIS OUT OF ANXIETY UNTIL YOU HAVE MANAGED TO TWIST IT ENOUGH THAT IN SOME WAY YOU DID NOT LOSE, INDEED IN SOME BIZARRE LITTLE SENSE YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME, BECAUSE YOU ARE SO WEAK YOU CAN’T FACE THE DEFEAT OF IT, THE HONOR OF WHAT I TOOK A MOMENT TO DO SO FOR YOU, AND CHANGE.

SEE FOLKS LIKE YOU DON’T DO THAT, BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, SO MAYBE JUST FIND A QUIET PLACE TO SPARK UP AND GET FUCKED UP, GEEKED OUT AND WASTED ENOUGH UNTIL YOU FORGET, and then it WILL BE LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED, JUST LIKE LAST TIME – UNDERSTAND THIS COMFORT FROM ANXIETY CONTROLS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, TO THE EXTENT IT IS ALL YOU ARE NOW = NOTHING. 

BUT SADLY WHAT THIS REALLY MEANS IS THAT WE ARE DONE HERE, UNTIL YOU FIND THE SAND TO GROW THE FUCK UP SOME, SO TRY AND REMEMBER THIS TOTAL DEFEAT FOR WHAT I MEANT IT TO BE AND THEN ACCEPT IT AS A GOOD THING – A CHANCE TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO ‘TRY’, OUT OF THE PAIN OF SEEING YOURSELF FOR A MOMENT IN THE REAL WORLD, INSTEAD OF THE COMFORTING FANTASY LIFE OF A CHILD, THEN START ON THE PATH TO ‘DISASSOCIATING FROM YOU THE CHILD’, SO UNDERSTAND WHO ACTUAL WINS, AND WHO ACTUALLY LOSES…

SO MY LACK OF MANNERS BETRAYS ME? Given no one has ever told me that before how is that MY FAULT? 

 IF YOU WANT TO TALK AGAIN YOU WILL HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO DITCH THIS CHARACTER OF A CHILD, OTHERWISE WE ARE BOTH JUST WASTING OUR TIME – YOU FORGET YOURSELF AND RUN HOME TO ANXIETY, IT IS A TRAP THAT CIRCLES YOU BACK TO ITSELF.

FORCE YOURSELF TO HAVE SOME RESPECT, HONOR AND HONESTY, THAT IS ACTUALLY ‘THE’ SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS TRICK OF ‘OLD’, BECAUSE EXTREME SELF-AWARENESS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN MAKE THAT LEAP. SEE I DON’T NEED YOUR ‘RESPECT FOR ME’, BUT YOU REALLY NEED TO USE IT AS A WAY OF HAVING ‘RESPECT FOR YOURSELF’, TO MOVE AS HIGH UP THE SELF-CONSCIOUS SPECTRUM AS YOU STILL CAN AND IN SO DOING MAKE THESE CONVERSATIONS WORTHWHILE, OTHERWISE YOU ARE JUST LISTENING WITH THE SELF-INDULGENT LITTLE CUNT WHO IS ‘YOU THE CHILD’… 

BUT I CAN ONLY THINK WITH WHAT COMES INTO MY MIND, what am I expected to do?

‘TRY’ – YOUR CHILD CONTROLS YOU WITH INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS BASED ON FEAR, START THERE…

UNDERSTAND THIS FIRST, LAST AND FOREMOST, TALKING TO YOU THE CHILD IS A WASTE OF MY TIME THAT WILL ALWAYS END BADLY ‘FOR YOU’. SEE THE GREATEST CURSE OF THE MODERN WORLD, DESIGNED FOR CHILDREN, IS THAT YOU ARE ‘ALL SPECTATORS’, AND UNTIL YOU GAIN ‘THE POWER TO DO’ OF AN ADULT YOU HAVE A TENDENCY TO BECOME SLEAZY, CREEPY LITTLE WANKERS, HIDING IN THE BACK GROUND CAUSE YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE BALLS YOU WERE BORN WITH – YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT ALL PLEASURE COMES FROM THE POWER YOU EXERCISE OVER REALITY, NOT THE ANXIETY OF SOME TAME MIDDLE CLASS FANTASY, THAT YOU WATCH FROM A FAR AND TAKE NO PART IN AT ALL.

Mmmm, I was hoping for a magic pill, MAYBE THIS IS NOT FOR ME – I’M JUST SO CONFUSED NOW I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT YOU HAVE SAID… 

NO, YOU HAVE JUST FORGOTTEN ‘HOW TO TRY’, AND SO YOU NOW ‘LACK THE ENERGY TO TRY’ EVEN WHEN YOU WANT TO. 

IN THE END ALL LIFE COMES DOWN TO WHETHER YOU CAN DO IT, OR DO YOU HAVE TO WATCH SOMEONE ELSE DO IT, LIKE A GRUBBY LITTLE CONSUMER, LIVING A LIFE OF 2ND HAND DREAMS YOU WATCH ON SCREENS, CAUSE THAT IS ALL THE THRILL YOU ARE CAPABLE OF NOW. SO WHICH ARE YOU, REAL OR FAKE, A WARRIOR OR CANON FODDER, AN ARTISTS OR A SPECTATOR, A BASTARD OR A BITCH, AN INDIVIDUAL OR THE HERD, ‘SOMETHING’ OR NOTHING? 

ARE YOU THE HERO OF YOUR STORY OR JUST A FAN OF SOMEONE ELSE – ITS YOUR CHOICE, SO ‘MAKE IT’, DON’T LET YOUR ‘SOCIETY OF FAKE CHILDREN’ MAKE IT FOR YOU.

BUT ITS TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON AND TALK TO SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY BETTER THAN YOU – HOWEVER MUCH I WISH YOU WELL IF YOU CAN’T PASS THIS FIRST PHASE, THE ONE THAT IS OPEN TO ANYONE, THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOU? YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AFTERALL – DID YOU HONESTLY THINK I WAS GOING TO FIGHT FOR YOU, WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN DO THIS? 

DON’T MATTER NOW I GUESS, but I THINK THAT IS ULTIMATELY THE ISSUE for me – I EXPECTED THIS TO BE CHRISTIAN, that you would fight for me, NOT JUST BE A ‘PASSER BY’. THAT IS WHY I ABUSED THIS DIALOGUE, on reflection I knew I was doing it, I just expected there to be a ‘NEXT TIME’…

AND TO BE FAIR TO YOU THERE IS A NEXT TIME AFTER YOU HAVE GROWN UP, JUST NOT BEFORE IT –

LIKE ALL MODERN FOLK YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT EVERYTHING IS A TEST, AND SO SIMPLY EXPECT TO BE REWARDED FOR DOING NOTHING AND JUST ‘SHOWING UP’, INSTEAD OF KNOWING YOU MUST PASS TESTS OR FAIL. I SHOWED YOU YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO THIS TODAY, BUT SADLY IT APPEARS YOU HAVE NO ABILITY TO TRY BY YOURSELF. 

IF YOU LIKE, ‘TRY’ ONE LAST TIME BEFORE YOU GET ‘BACK ON YOUR BUS’, TRY AND GET YOUR HEAD AROUND THE BRUTAL TRUTH OF IT – UNTIL YOU GROW UP THERE IS NOTHING THERE TO SAVE, THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK TO, NOTHING TO CARE ABOUT, YOU ARE SIMPLY ONE MORE FUCK PUPPET, ONE MORE ORGANIC ROBOT ACTNG OUT YOUR CONDITIONING, AMONGST MILLIONS OF OTHERS, MANY OF WHOM HAVE A WAY BETTER CHANCE AT THIS THAN YOU DO…

AS YOU SIT ON THAT BUS, KNOW THAT YOU MADE A TOTAL FOOL OF YOURSELF TODAY, IN FRONT OF SOMEONE YOU HAD ASKED TO HELP YOU ‘HELP YOURSELF’, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE A GUTLESS CUNT. THEN YOU WILL SEE WHAT YOUR CONSCIENCE THINKS OF YOU, AND IT IS UP TO YOU TO DECIDE TO BE HONORED BY THAT, OR SO HORRIFIED YOU HAVE TO COMFORT YOURSELF TO COPE, LIKE A LITTLE KID –

THEN YOU WILL SEE WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU AND IF YOU CAN’T TRY AFTER THAT YOU NEVER WILL, SO BEST GO BACK TO SLEEP.

SO THAT IS IT? You are actually not going to help me? AND WHY DO I FEEL RESENTFUL LIKE A VICTIM NOW, why do I suddenly need someone else to blame for a failure that is clearly mine? What have you done to me, WHY AM I SO SCARED? 

YEP, THAT IS IT AND I HAVE ALREADY HELPED YOU.

UP TO YOU NOW TO PROVE YOU WHERE WORTH EVEN THAT BRIEF LEVEL OF ATTENTION – SLAP A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND GET ON WITH IT – THE WORLD IS FULL OF BORED, LONELY, SCARED FOLK DESPERATELY SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING SAFE TO REACT TO SO THEY CAN PROVE TO THEMSELVES THEY ARE STILL ALIVE FOR A MOMENT, TRY NOT TO BE ONE OFF THEM – IN TRUTH THEY ARE ALREADY DEAD.  

YEARS FROM NOW, IF YOU ARE EVER MINDED TO TRY AND FIND ME, PLEASE CUT OUT THE PRE-AMBLE AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOMETHING INTERESTING TO SAY PLEASE, AND GIVEN YOUR MANNERS HAVE DRAMATICALLY IMPROVED I MAY EVEN RESPOND. YOU FEEL LIKE A VICTIM BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD, WHO NEEDS TO FEEL LIKE A VICTIM OTHERWISE ALL OF THIS WOULD BE YOUR FAULT, OBVIOUSLY – IT IS THE ROOT OF ALL FANTASY, TO BE A VICTIM IS ONE OF THOSE BLANKET TYPES OF COMFORT YOUR SOCIETY ENCOURAGES YOU TO USE AS A COP OUT…

YA SEE THE HEART OF YOUR PROBLEMS, ALL PROBLEMS OF A CHILD, IS THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOME VALUE AS A CHILD, BUT YOU DON’T, YOU FAILED THE VALUE TEST IN CHILDHOOD – THAT GAP BETWEEN YOUR ‘EXPECTATION’ MEETS ‘REALITY’ IS WHAT SOCIETY HAS DONE TO YOU, AS A FORM OF ENTITLEMENT TO BE GIVEN THINGS FOR FREE, SO NO ONE OWES YOU SHIT BITCH, YOU MUST EARN EVERYTHING WORTH HAVING. SO GO AHEAD, REVEL IN YOUR VICTIMHOOD, MAKE A WHOLE FUCKING LIFE OUT OF IT, BECOME AN OBSESSIONAL FREAKSHOW DESPERATE TO PROVE YOU COULDA, SHOULDA, WOULDA BEEN ‘A CONTENDER’, ITS JUST THAT X/Y/Z ROBBED YOU OF THAT CHANCE, WHEN IN REALITY YOU SIMPLY BOTTLED IT.

ARE YOU STARTING TO UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE ME DON’T BOTHER WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU UNTIL YOU GROW UP SOME YET – IT IS ONLY THE FACT THAT YOU TRADED DOWN ‘YOUR WALK ON PART IN THE WAR FOR A LEAD ROLE IN A CAGE’ AS A KID THAT HAS MADE YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO ASK THESE STUPID, TRIVIAL AND BANAL FUCKING QUESTIONS, YOU SILLY LITTLE BITCH.

THE TRICK IS, OF COURSE, TO SEE THAT BITCH IN REALTIME, TO SEE THROUGH YOUR DELUSIONS AND STOP ‘IT’, BECAUSE YOU HAVE MADE ENOUGH PROGESS NOT ONLY TO SEE, NOT ONLY TO THINK, BUT ‘TO KNOW’ THAT ITS ‘NOT YOU’ – THOSE THOUGHTS ARE ACTUALLY INSERTED INTO YOUR HEAD AS A FATE-A-COMPLI, THEY IS NOTHING BEHIND THEM, NOTHING RATIONALE PRODUCING THEM, THEY ARE NOT EVEN REALLY MEMORIES IN THE SENSE OF HOW YOUR MEMORY IS SUPPOSED TO WORK, THEY ARE ‘FIXED PATTERN REACTIONS’, THEY ARE ‘THE CONDITIONING OF A CHILD’…

BUT I DON’T, THIS IS ALL STILL ‘ME’, IT IS ALL I HAVE, GUESS I’M JUST TOO LAZY, WEAK AND STUPID, I cannot do it, maybe if I was more scared of it, or more scared of not doing it I could find the time, but I’m not… 

YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO BE LAZY, AND IN THE SAME WAY, SAY IF YOU HAD NEVER BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO WALK UNTIL YOU 30S, YOU WOULD FIND LEARNING TO WALK EXTREMELY DIFFICULT, STILL AFTER ACCIDENTS PEOPLE FORCE THEMSELVES TO DO IT, CAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO BE A CRIPPLE…

QUESTION IS NOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE A MENTAL CRIPPLE, DO YOU WANT TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE BETTER THAN THAT, OR NOT – THE TRADITIONAL TRICK OF CARROT AND STICK NEEDS A PRETTY BIG STICK THESE DAYS, THE CARROT OF ELITISM IS NOT ENOUGH FOR MOST FOLKS, THEY NEED A’ LIFE OR DEATH’ LEVEL STICK AS WELL, BECAUSE THEY CAN ONLY MOTIVATE THEMSELVES OUT OF ‘COMFORTING A FEAR’…

RATHER AMUSINGLY ALL OF YOU HAVE A PERSONAL ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION, A WAY TO DO IT, BUT THERE IS NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL, AND SOME OF THE ONES THAT WORK FOR SOME, ACTUALLY DEMOTIVATE OTHERS, SO NO ONE EVER LISTS THEM ALL. I GAVE YOU YOURS, TO KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT CERTAIN URGES THAT TORTURE YOU SECRETLY BUT DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM, BUT ITS UP TO YOU TO USE IT – HONESTLY YOU WILL HAVE TO GET A LOT WORSE BEFORE YOU GET BETTER, WHICH IS KINDA SAD DON’T YOU THINK…

I KNOW YOU THINK I’M A CUNT, but even that does not help, so guess I’LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY SHIT TO FIND ME…

GUESS SO – WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE FAT, UGLY AND STUPID, WAIT UNTIL YOU ‘WACK, YOU TWISTED, YOUR GIRLS A HOE, YOU BROKE, THE KID AIN’T YOURS AND EVERYONE KNOW’, WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO CALL COOL, WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE A DISEASE, WAIT UNTIL YOUR MINDSTATE TURNS ON YOU, WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE DESPERATE, AND THEN WAIT SOME MORE – WAIT UNTIL EVEN THE FAKE TRIVIALITY OF ‘POWER OVER OTHERS’, OF A PARASITE IS TAKEN FROM YOU, WAIT UNTIL ‘YOU DISAPPEAR’, UNTIL YOU BECOME TERRIFIED OF EVERYTHING, JUST TO BE CERTAIN…

AND WHEN YOU GET TO THE POINT THAT ‘YOU HAVE TO START’ BUT NO LONGER CAN, REMEMBER TO HATE ME AS THAT FINAL COMFORT FOR NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH, STRONG ENOUGH, BRAVE ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO DO IT AS ‘AN INTERVENTION’, SEND ME A POSTCARD, I’LL ADD IT TO MY COLLECTION, JUST TRY NOT TO KILL YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE WHEN THE SHAME OF THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THIS FINAL FAILURE FINDS YOU…

SEE, AS YOU MAY OF GUESSED – I DON’T CARE BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD – YOU AND YOUR FAKE SECRET CLEVERNESS DESERVE EACH OTHER, BUT IN THE MEANTIME YOU MIGHT WANT TO ‘TRY’ THIS, ONE LAST TIME, BEFORE YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU, CAUSE NEVER DOUBT YOUR SHIT IS GOING TO FIND YOU, INDEED MOST LIKELY IT HAS ALREADY FOUND YOU, AND YOU ARE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO SEE IT YET…

‘TRY’ HARDER BITCH, YOU WILL BE DEAD SOON –

SNAP OUT THE DELUSION THAT WHAT YOU ARE NOW HAS ANY VALUE AT ALL, YOU ‘VALUE A FANTASY-SELF’ – IT DON’T EXIST…

THE THOUGHTS OF A CHILD FROM THE EGO-SAFETY OF A CHILD HAVE NO VALUE – IT IS THE TRAP OF CHILDHOOD, YOU ARE STUCK… 

SO YOU MUST FIND THE ENERGY TO SNAP OUT OF IT, OUT OF PETTY SELF BELIEF, OTHERWISE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE STUCK, SCARED.

SEE THAT GROWING UP IS ABOUT ‘DISASSOCIATING’ FROM THAT TRAP, FROM BEING A CLEVER DORK, SO ‘ITS’ NO LONGER ‘YOU’.

KNOW THE TRAP YOU ARE STUCK IN IS ‘YOU’, YOUR UNCONSCIOUS EGO, DEFINING YOU AND HIDING FROM YOU IN REALTIME.

DO YOU GET IT NOW – ???

YOU ARE NOTHING BUT ‘THE DIS-EASE OF COMFORT, FEAR, COWARDICE’, UNLESS YOU SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THAT DISEASE…

SO SNAP OUT OF IT OR BURN.

YOU CANNOT WANDER INTO GROWING UP LIKE ITS SOME FAD OR HOBBY, IN THE SAME HALF-ASSED, UNCOMMITTED, DREAMY LITTLE STATE THAT YOU DO EVERYTHING ELSE, AS THAT STATE IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM – GROWING UP TAKES ‘BOTTLE’. SO YOU MUST COMMIT TO IT, YOU MUST FIND THE ENERGY, THE INTENSITY, THE FOCUS TO FOLLOW EXTERNAL DIRECTION, INSTEAD OF THE FRAGILE, UNSTABLE, OVER SENSITIVE, NAVEL GAZING, STONER CRAP YOU THE CHILD CHURNS OUT ALL DAY LONG, OK?

YOU ARE TRYING TO ESCAPE ‘THE PRISON OF YOUR MINDSTATE’ – IT NO FUCKING USE ‘BEING CALM’ ABOUT IT, SO FUCK YOUR FEELINGS, FUCK YOUR TRUTH, FUCK YOUR DRUG ADDICTIONS, FUCK YOUR LIKES, FUCK YOUR INSTA, FUCK YOUR ONLYFANS, FUCK YOUR VIRTUE SIGNALING, FUCK YOUR CAUSES, FUCK YOUR ALL YOUR FAKE, LOW QUALITY STEREOTYPICAL BULLSHIT – NONE OF IT ADDS UP TO A HILL OF SHIT DOES IT, NONE OF IT IS YOU, EVEN REAL, ITS JUST A WAY TO PASS THE TIME BEFORE YOU GROW UP…

SO FIND A WAY INTO TO ‘THIS FEELING’ NOW WITHOUT DRUGS: 

DISASSOCIATE FROM YOURSELF, FROM ‘YOU THE CHILD’ AND BE CONSCIOUS YOU.

THEN YOU WILL SEE THE 2 OF YOU TOGETHER – YOU WILL KNOW WHO IS ‘YOU’, WHO IS ‘NOT YOU’.

AND DO NOT FOOL YOURSELF – YOU CANNOT TRUST YOUR ‘NOT YOU’, IT DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ‘YOU’.

SEE YOUR NOT YOU DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CARE, ITS JUST A SET OF REACTIONS TO THE NOW…

THIS IS WHY YOU ARE A FOOL, A FUCK UP, CONTROLLED BY FEAR – YOU TAKE ‘NOT YOU’ SERIOUSLY.

BUT THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING ACTUALLY THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE…

SO LAUGH AT THE BITCH AND MOVE ON – THERE IS ENERGY IN THAT LAUGHTER.

THEN ALL YOU WILL EVER NEED TO DO IS ‘RESPECT YOURSELF’ FIRST AND LAST, THEN ‘BE KIND TO THE ANIMALS’, AS GROWING UP WILL MAKE YOU RUTHLESS, HARD, UNKIND, AND YOU DON’T WANT ANYONE TO THINK YOU ARE A TOTAL BASTARD, DO YA…

THEN GET HERE TO THIS POINT WITH ‘US’ ASAP, SO YOU CAN START TO SHUN ‘THEM’ AND FIX YOUR SHIT… 

EVERYTHING MUST START ‘TO LOOK EASY’. 

EVERYTHING THAT WAS ONCE HARD, SCARY, MUST START ‘TO LOOK EASIER INSTINCTIVELY’.

THAT IS WHAT THE NEW SENSE OF SUPERIORITY FEELS LIKE AT FIRST – USUALLY, BUT NOT ALWAYS, EXPERIENCED AS ‘A SENSE OF PEACE’ YOU ACT FROM, WHICH IS HOW IT IS REFERENCED IN THE BIBLE. 

YOUR OLD SENSE OF INFERIORITY MADE EVERYTHING LOOK HARD, EVEN WHEN IT WAS NOT, AS THAT IS HOW INFERIORITY CONTROLS YOU AS CAGE, A ‘THINKING FRAMEWORK’ DRIVEN BY ‘TICKING’ FEARS.

KNOW THAT INFERIORITY BOTHERS YOU ALL THE TIME, REPEATING LIKE A TICKING CLOCK, SO YOUR NORMALITY CLAWS AT YOU, SO EFFECTIVE, SO PERSISTENT IT EVEN INFECTS YOUR FUCKING DREAMS.

THIS IS THE TRICK TO GROWING UP, THE MAGIC OF IT AS A PROCESS – TO ESCAPE THE CAGE OF ANXIETY AS THE CONTEXT, THE ‘FRAMING OF ALL YOUR THOUGHTS’ IN BACKGROUND OF YOUR MIND.

SO CHOOSE THE SUPERIORITY OF THE FELT WIN BEFORE YOU START AS THE ONLY REASON YOU START ANYTHIING AT ALL, FOCUS ON THIS CONDITION, NOT ON THE POTENTIAL FOR LOSS, IN ALL SMALL THINGS FIRST – ONE IS THE STRENGTH OF A BADDIE, THE OTHER THE WEAKNESS OF A KID.

CHOOSE NOT TO CARE ABOUT YOUR FEARS WHILST ACCEPTING THEM AT THE START AS IT WEAKENS THEM, SO YOU WILL SEE THE POINT OF FEAR IS ‘NOT THE BENEFIT OF WORRY TO REMIND YOU’, THE POINT OF FEAR IS TO ‘WEAKEN YOU’, SO YOU MUST WEAKEN ITS ABILITY TO CONTROL YOU FIRST.

JUST LET WHAT HAPPENS ‘HAPPEN’ – ‘FUCK IT’ – ‘BLAME IS A CHILDS GAME’, SUPERIOR FOLKS DON’T ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE MANIPULATED BY STUPID, SELF SERVING INTERNAL ‘BLAME GAMES’.

‘CONFLICT’ CREATES YOUR REALITY EITHER WAY, WHETHER YOU RUN OR FIGHT, BUT IF YOU GIVE INTO TO THE INFERIORITY OF BLAME, YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BE A FORM OF ‘COVERING YOUR ASS’. 

BE CLEAR – MOVE ON FROM THE INFERIORITY OF THE FELT LOSS BEFORE YOU START, RIGHT NOW MOST OF YOU EXPERIENCE FEAR SO MUCH YOU THINK ‘WORRYING IS GOOD’, INSTEAD OF TRAP!

SO CHOOSE TO BE DOMINANT RATHER THAN DEFENSIVE, LIKE A GROWN UP – SEE AND FEEL WHY WE THE BAD PEOPLE DON’T BOTHER WITH YOUR OPINIONS OF US, AS YOUR OPINIONS ARE ABOUT YOU!

WANT THE EASIEST WAY TO START GETTING STRONGER – START A TASK AND ‘STOP REACTING TO ANYTHING ELSE’ FOR THAT TIME PERIOD, DON’T EVEN LOOK AT OR ACKNOWLEDGE ANYTHING ELSE!

YOUR SOCIETY HAS PERFECTED THE MONETIZATION OF A CHILD’S CONSTANT NEED FOR DISTRACTION FROM ITS FEARS, FOR SOME ‘INSTANT COMFORT’ – BREAK THAT HABIT FIRST, FORCE YOURSELF!

FOR YOUR OWN GODS SAKE STOP BEING ‘TIMID’ WHILST PRETENDING TO BE ‘A BADDIE’ (PERSONALLY I REALLY FUCKING HATE THIS ASPECT OF YOU MOST OF ALL, LIVING OUT THE LIFE OF A LOWER MIDDLE CLASS GUTLESS CUNT WHILST DREAMING OF THE ANTI-HERO THAT NO ONE ELSE EVER SEES, AS THEY JUST SEE THE FUCKUP), whilst DOWNGRADING EVERYTHING YOU ARE EVERYDAY IN ORDER TO FEEL SAFER – SAFETY IS THE CURSE OF A CHILD, AN ILLUSION – TO WILLING SETTLE FOR LESS BECAUSE YOUR CHILD HAS WON, FEAR HAS ‘BROKEN YOU’!

YOU SLIP INTO A CYCLE OF ONE MORE CONTROLLING DEFEAT AFTER DEFEAT THAT YOU HAVE TO DRESS UP AS SAFE IN ORDER TO ‘HIDE YOUR HUMILIATION’, AS YOUR ‘NEED TO CONTROL’ ACTUALLY, OBVIOUSLY ‘CONTROLS YOU’ – PICK ‘BETTER EVERYTHING’ AS A POLICY THAT STRETCHES YOU, ‘SAFE EVERYTHING’ IS A DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF SHIT, WHERE EVERYTHING IS NOT ONLY BENEATH YOU, YOU ACTUALLY ELEVATE TRASH ABOVE YOU, SO YOU BECOME THAT TRASH, YOU RATCHET YOURSELF LOWER AND LOWER OVER TIME, SO EVERYTHING YOU COULD ONCE DO BECOMES LESS, AND YOU FAIL EVEN YOUR CURRENT LIFE, BUT YOU STILL THINK ITS ‘SECRETLY CLEVER’ CAUSE YOU ARE SAFE, COMFORTABLE, GEEKED OUT = GUTLESS FUCKUP.

TRY AND UNDERSTAND – IF YOUR LIFE DOES NOT FORCE YOU TO GROW UP YOU MUST MAKE ‘ARBITRARY CHANGES IN YOUR ATTITUDE’ THAT MATCH AN OTHERWISE ABSTRACT CLASS SYSTEM UNTIL YOU SEE/FEEL WHY YOU NEED THOSE THINGS, WHY THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOU THE STUPID KID WITH TEDIOUS BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE PLAYING ON REPEAT, SO START NOW, BITCH – GET ‘PRACTICAL IN REALTIME’ BY REPLACING WHAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU CURRENTLY DO EVERY SECOND OF EVERYDAY, USE IT TO SEE YOURSELF ‘LIVE’ –

AND REALLY ‘BITCH PLEASSSSEEEEEEEEE’ – YOU THINK YOU ARE SAFE, REALLY? YOU CAN’T EVEN HEAR YOURSELF FUCKING TALK, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T REALLY TALK AT ALL OUTSIDE OF YOUR EGO-SAFETY CAN YOU – TO ACTUALLY BE SAFE YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY SEE WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE!  

DOMINATE YOUR ‘IMMEDIATE SURROUNDINGS’ ACTIVELY, OR BE DOMINATED BY THEM REACTIVELY!

THAT IS THE CHOICE YOU MUST MAKE EVERY SECOND – SUPERIORITY OR EXISTENTIAL DREAD!

PRACTICE THIS ‘DOMINANCE OF YOUR RIGHT NOW’, REPLACE YOUR ‘FEAR OF THE FUTURE’!

GIVE YOUR-SELF ORDERS, DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR STUPID LITTLE INFANTILE ‘FUCKUP’!

THAT CUNT HAS ALMOST DESTROYED YOU, BUT ‘IT’ IS LAZY, OVER CONFIDENT!

SO DISASSOCIATE FROM YOUR OLD, HARMLESS SELF, FROM WEAKNESS!

DO IT RIGHT NOW – GET MEAN WITH ‘YOUR FAILURE’!

GROW-THE-FUCK-UP, YOU DORK! 

SO WHEN YOU START TO PRACTICE GIVING ORDERS TO YOURSELF INSTEAD OF THINKING WITH THE THOUGHTS OF A SCARED, CHILDISH CUNT WHO DOES NOT CARE 2 FUCKS FOR YOU, ALIVE OR DEAD, REMEMBER THIS, AND CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL – ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF GIVING YOURSELF ORDERS IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE YOU MUST EXPAND THOSE ORDERS TO COVER ‘POSITIVE FRAMING’ OF ‘PRACTICAL SITUATIONS’ AS ‘OVERALL GOALS’, LIKE ‘TO WIN’, ‘TO BE KIND’, ‘TO BE STRONG’ WITH SOME ADDED SITUATIONAL CONTEXT THAT IS ‘ABOUT TO HAPPEN’, AND LATER ON WHEN PERFECTED THROUGH PRACTICE THEN FOR ‘TODAY’. CHOOSE ONES THAT HAVE SOME ASPECT OF CONFLICT FIRST, AS THAT WILL TEST YOUR ABILITY MORE WHILST MOTIVATING YOU WITH POSITIVE RESULTS IN AREAS YOU WERE TOO SCARED TO EVEN TRY BEFORE……

THE HUGE BENEFIT OF THIS STYLE OF THINKING IS THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW ‘HOW TO CARRY OUT THAT ORDER AS A PROCESS’, YOU SIMPLY HOLD THE CONTEXT OF THAT SIMPLE ORDER IN YOUR MIND IN ORDER TO STOP CHILDISH THINKING KICKING BACK IN AS SOON AS YOUR LEVEL OF SELF CONSCIOUSNESS DROPS – IT IS A SELF CONSCIOUSNESS TRICK. IF YOU ARE GIFTED YOU WILL BE AMAZED WHAT YOUR GIFT WILL DO TO HELP YOU IN THE MOMENT, BUT EVEN AT THE START, ONCE YOU HAVE GOT THE ‘ENERGY AND URGENCY’ STUFF DOWN TO A BASIC LEVEL, YOU WILL FIND RESULTS COME THICK AND FAST…

YOU MUST GET USED TO THINKING LIKE THIS – WITH WHAT WILL FEEL LIKE ‘FORCED GOAL ORDERS’, SIMPLY BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO THINK, YOU DON’T THINK WITH THE FEELINGS OF A CHILD, WITH PETTY SHORT TERM FEAR AND DESIRE, AS THAT IS WHAT IT RELIES ON TO STOP YOU CHANGING. THIS IS HOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO THINK, ITS NATURAL AND IF YOU HAD TO FIGHT TO SURVIVE THIS IS HOW YOU HAVE TO THINK OR YOU JUST CURL UP LIKE A BITCH AND DIE – THIS SURPASSES THE WEAKNESS OF YOU THE CHILD, THIS IS HOW BAD FOLKS OF THE WORLD THINK, AS THEY SCOFF AT YOUR LITTLE LIVES…

SEE THE MAIN BENEFIT AT THE START IS NOT JUST BEING ‘BETTER AT LIFE’ INSTEAD OF A LAZY FUCK UP, ITS THE REALIZATION THAN NORMALLY YOU DON’T ‘DO’ ANYTHING – YOU DON’T HAPPEN TO REALITY, REALITY HAPPENS TO YOU, AS YOUR CHILD CREATES THAT REALITY VIA UNCONSCIOUS PATTERNS REACTIONS, SO YOU TAKE THIS ‘PRE-CONDITIONED FANTASY/REALITY’ AS REAL, INSTEAD OF JUDGING IT AGAINST YOUR SET CONTEXT FOR THIS MOMENT AND CHANGING IT, FIRST BY HOW YOU REACT TO IT, AND LATER HOW YOU ‘SEE REALITY’ WITHOUT THOSE REACTIONS CLOUDING YOUR VISION WITH PRE-CONDITIONING – THE WORLD WILL ACTUALLY LOOK DIFFERENT.

AND WHAT IS MORE YOU COME TO SEE THE HORROR OF IT – OF THE BETRAYAL OF YOURSELF – YOUR CHILDISH THINKING LITERALLY DISTORTS YOUR ‘CONSCIOUS PERCEPTION OF REALITY’ IN TERMS OF ITS MEANING AND YOU NEVER DOUBT IT, BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY ONE OPTION YOU HAVE, YOUR NEXT PATTERN REACTION, OR FEAR OF THAT REACTION. THE TRICK TO SEE IT ABSTRACTLY IS TO SEE THERE ARE 2 LEVELS IN THIS REVEAL NOT 1 – IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT ‘DOING INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING YOUR REACTIONS’, ITS ABOUT UNDERSTANDING HOW WHEN YOU STOP THIS CURSE YOU SEE THAT YOUR REACTIONS CREATE A FAR BIGGER ISSUE OF PRE-CONDITIONING YOUR CHOICE OF RESPONSE TO REALITY, DOWN TO 1 OPTION, AND SO YOU ONLY SEE THAT OPTION IN THE MOMENT, RATHER THAN ALL THE OTHER FAR BETTER CHOICES WHERE YOU DON’T MAKE A TOTAL OBVIOUS TWAT OF YOURSELF, AGAIN…

THIS IS WHATS BEHIND ONE OF THE THINGS WE SAY THAT YOU HATE THE MOST – YOU ARE AN ‘OPINIONLESS VOID’ – WHEN YOU CLEARLY THINK YOU HAVE COUNTLESS OPINIONS ABOUT EVERY FUCKING THING YOU NO NOTHING ABOUT THAT INFEST YOUR LITTLE MIND, SO ‘WE ARE WRONG’. SEE THOSE OPINIONS OF A CHILD ARE NOT OPINIONS, BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM, THATS OBVIOUS EVEN TO YOU WITH A MOMENTS THOUGHT, SO YOU CAN SEE THEM AS ONLY ‘PREFERENCES’, AS LIKES AND DISLIKES, IF YOU TRY. NO, ITS THAT THEY ARE NOT EVEN ‘YOUR REAL PREFERENCES’, THEY ARE PATTERNS REACTIONS WITH A WHOLE LOT OF MENTAL SICK DROPPED ON TOP OF THEM TO MAKE THEM SEEM LESS CHILDISH, MORE REASONABLE. YOU HAVE NO PREFERENCES, ALL YOU THINK YOU HAVE IS FAKE, BORN FROM MOMENTARY PASSING OF THE PATTERN REACTIONS OF A CHILD WHERE YOU NEEDED TO SAY OR DO SOMETHING, THAT ARE THEN BURNT INTO YOU BY SIMPLE REPETITION.       

YES… YOU GET TO SEE IN REALTIME THAT ALL THESE YEARS THINKING LIKE A CHILD YOU HAVE MISSED A KEY STEP OF THE ‘THOUGHT PROCESS’, AND SIMPLY GONE WITH YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS, YOUR UNCONSCIOUS URGES AS IF THEY ARE GOOD, USEFUL, ‘YOU’, INSTEAD OF OUT OF DATE CHILDISH STRESS RESPONSES YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU HAVE, BUT STILL CONTROL YOU. AND THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC STARTS TO HAPPEN, THE MAGIC OF ‘WANTING TO CHANGE’, BECAUSE YOU REALIZE BEING YOU IS DUMB AS FUCK, AND I MEAN YOU SEE WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO – A CHILDS LIFE IS ‘AIMLESS’ BECAUSE ALL ITS AIMS ARE MOMENTARY PATTERNS REACTIONS THAT SEEK COMFORT FROM FEAR, BEFORE CHANGING DIRECTION IN THE NEXT MOMENT…

UNDERSTAND – OUR STYLE OF THINKING IS WHAT IT MEANS TO CONTROL YOURSELF, INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU DO NOW, LET YOU THE CHILD ‘GET THE BETTER OF YOU’ ALL THE FUCKING THE TIME, WHILST TRYING TO COMFORT YOURSELF…

IN LIFE YOU EITHER CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO DO AND SEE IT THROUGH, OR YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO REACT TO DISTRACTION, WITH MORE DISTRACTION ON TOP OF THAT DISTRACTION, UNTIL YOU DRIFT INTO ‘REACTIVE THINKING’ OF CONTINUAL DISTRACTIONS – THIS IS WHAT ‘OVER THINKING’ IS, THINKING WITHOUT A GOAL, A FANTASY DESIGNED TO ‘STOP YOU’.

MOST OF YOU FELL TOTALLY ASLEEP SOMETIME EARLY ON WHEN SOMETHING ‘BAD HAPPENED’ THAT YOU HAD TO COMPENSATE FOR, AND THEN BUILT YOUR WHOLE LIFE AROUND THAT CRAP, SO YOU LOT CAN ONLY START ‘TO DO’ AGAIN IN TOTAL ‘SECRET ISOLATION’, CAUSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PETTY EXISTENCE IS DESIGNED TO STOP YOU DOING AND MAKE YOU REACT!

TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL, TO BE ‘REAL YOU’ START SEEING EVERYTHING THAT ‘RESTRICTS’ AND ‘CONTROLS’ WHO YOU ARE – IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS TRANSACTIONAL – YOU TOW THE LINE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT.

BUT ALL THAT HAPPENS IS YOU GET SMALLER, WEAKER AND DUMBER, BECAUSE THAT IS THE POINT OF IT – TO STOP ANY CHANGE!    

YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO MANAGE THIS SEPARATION BY CONTROLLING ‘NOT YOU’, SO START IN THE WAY I HAVE SHOWN YOU ABOVE – CONSCIOUS ORDERS FOR SHORT TERM GOALS – WHILST YOU STILL HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY LEFT TO FUCKING ‘TRY’. ONCE YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU CAN ‘TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF’, FOR HOW YOU ‘USE YOUR ENERGY’, YOU WILL FIND ALL THAT WENT BEFORE WAS LITTLE MORE THAN A FREAKSHOW, FULL OF FREAKS YOU INVENTED TO COMFORT YOURSELF FROM CHILDHOOD ANXIETIES THAT HAVE LONG SINCE PASSED, IT WAS ALL A BIT PATHETIC, NASTY, CHEAP, SAD, GUTLESS IN COMPARISON TO WHAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY EASILY DO NOW, IF YOU WANT TO, AS A GROWN UP. 

BUT YOU MUST TRY FIRST, AS TRYING ENGAGES YOUR SPIRIT, ENGAGES YOUR ENERGY SYSTEM YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THIS PROGRESS, WHEN ‘YOU DON’T WANT TO TRY’, WHEN TRYING SEEMS HARD, EVEN WHEN IT IS NOT. REMEMBER ONCE YOU SEE IT IS ‘NOT YOU’ WHO ‘SUFFERS FROM YOUR TRYING’, THAT IT IS YOU THE CHILD WHO SUFFERS FROM TRYING, THEN ‘YOU WON’T SUFFER’. THIS IS HOW YOU LEARN TO SUFFER CONSCIOUSLY, BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER SUFFERING FROM YOU THE CHILD LOW QUALITY B/S, SO IT WON’T FEEL LIKE SUFFERING ANYMORE, CAUSE IT IS LITERALLY HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE. AND YOU MAY EVEN START TO ENJOY IT, PARITUCARLY IF YOU LEARN TO UNDERSTAND ‘YOU THE CHILD’ AS NOTHING MORE THAN ‘YOUR MEAT’, AS A DUMB, SIMPLE THING, WHEN BOTH ‘BODY AND MIND DROP OFF’ BUT YOU REMAIN CONSCIOUS…

THE CRUCIAL MOMENT TO REMEMBER TO TRY IS WHEN YOUR CHILD TRIES TO STOP YOU THE MOST!

IT IS AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT THAT TRYING IS THE MOST VALUABLE, MOST PROFITABLE!

THEN IT WILL YIELD THE MANY BREAKTHROUGH INSIGHTS INTO YOURSELF YOU NEED!

YOU ONLY EVER ‘HAVE STRENGTH’ WHEN IT IS ‘HARD TO TRY’ AGAINST WEAKNESS!

THERE ARE NO PILLS FOR THIS – YOU MUST LEARN DO IT IN REAL TIME!

RELEARN HOW TO ‘TRY’ – CAUSE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN!

IF YOU FORGET EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING I HAVE WRITTEN IN THIS ‘EXERCISE IN STYLE’ OF A POST – DON’T FORGET THIS – THE ONLY TIME YOU CAN GET STRONGER IS DURING INTERNAL CONFLICT, RESISTANCE TO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED, AS ALL CONFLICT IS A CHOICE BETWEEN STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS. ADULT YOU IS YOUR STRENGTH, YOU THE CHILD IS YOUR WEAKNESS – IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU WIN OR LOSE, IT MATTERS THAT YOU FIGHT – DO YOU SEE NOW? IF YOU CHOOSE TO FIGHT FOR THE SAKE OF IT YOU CAN’T LOSE BECAUSE YOU ARE GETTING STRONGER ANYWAY!

BUT HERE IS THE CRUCIAL BIT, THE ONE STAGE BEFORE THAT ALL YOU SILLY LITTLE TWATS ARE STUCK AT, THE REASON THAT TRYING IS SUCH A FOCUS AT THE START FOR ALL TEACHERS, BECAUSE ITS THE REASON YOU ‘CAN’T START’ – YOUR INBUILT TRIP HAZARD TO STARTING WINS AND DEFEATS YOU EVERY FUCKING TIME BECAUSE YOU LACK WHAT MY FAMILY TAUGHT ME YOUNG AS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US AND THEM – ‘BLOODY MINDEDNESS’ – THAT ‘ENERGIZED, INNER BASTARD’ THAT TELLS YOU TO JUST DO IT ANY-FUCKING-WAY, AND SCREW THE LOT OF YOU ‘LITTLE PEOPLE’, YOUR TIMIDITY BORES THE SHIT OUT OF ME…

RIGHT NOW ALL YOU HAVE ARE PATTERNS TO THINK WITH – IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE PATTERN YOU CAN’T DO IT.

SO TRYING CORRECTLY IS ANOTHER PATTERN YOU MUST CUT INTO YOUR HEAD BY ‘TRYING TO TRY’ AS HABIT.

PATTERNS NEED TIME AND FOCUS, AS IN FORCED REPETITION OF A PROCESS WHICH IS SIMPLE BUT HARD.

BUT WHAT YOUR CHILD WILL USE TO STOP YOU TRYING IS NOT OBVIOUS IN THE MOMENT – CONSTANT DISTRACTION.

YOU ARE SO UNCONSCIOUS IN YOUR THOUGHT THAT YOU CAN ONLY EVER NOTICE YOU LOST ‘AFTER’ YOU ARE DISTRACTED.

SO ‘TRYING TO TRY’ IS SIMPLY TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND BE CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO STOP DISTRACTION IN REALTIME, PARTICUALRY WHEN YOU THE CHILD REALIZES THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING – YOU ARE TRYING TO ‘KILL IT’.

WHAT IS MORE, YOU MUST LEARN THAT THERE IS MAGIC NUMBER FOR FOCUSED ATTENTION THAT IS PERSONAL TO YOU, IN TERMS OF THE ‘EMOTIONAL WIEGHT’ YOU CARRY WITH YOU NORMALLY, WHAT EVER IS LEFT OF YOUR QUALITY.

THAT NUMBER IS A ‘TIME’, AND FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF GIFTED IT IS BETWEEN 60 AND 70SECS, MADE UP OF DISTINCT PULSES OF THE SAME THOUGHT WHICH YOU MUST STRETCH OUT TO 16-20SECS AT A TIME, SO LINKED TO A DEEP BREATH.

ONCE YOU CAN DO THIS THEN YOU HAVE ‘RE-LEARNT HOW TO TRY’ BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE SPUN UP YOUR SELF -CONSCIOUSNESS TO A USEABLE LEVEL IN REAL TIME, SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU – YOU HAVE BUILT ‘A TRIP HAZARD DETECTOR’.

ANY EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE, CAUSE YOU WILL USE YOUR ‘QUICKNESS OF WIT’ FOR WHAT IT IS DESIGNED FOR – TO CATCH YOU THE CHILD TRYING TO FUCK YOU, IN REALTIME AND STOP IT, BEFORE ITS DISTRACTS YOU WITH THAT CONTINUAL PULSE OF FEAR. 

OF ALL MY YEARS TALKING TO GIFTED FOLK THIS IS THE NUMBER 1 THING THAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GIFTED WHO EVOLVE AND GIFTED WHO BURN – YOUR ‘FOCUSED ATTENTION SPAN’, WHICH MEANS YOUR ABILITY TO STAND AGAINST WEAKNESS IN THE MOMENT OF THAT WEAKNESS OCCURING OR BITCH OUT AND QUIT LIKE A PUSSY.

YOU MUST LEARN TO TRY BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING, OTHERWISE ALL THIS IS JUST ANOTHER HOBBY.

ALL FORMS OF MEDITATION AS YOU KNOW ARE SIMPLY FORMALIZING ‘RE-LEARNING HOW TO TRY’.

ONLY AFTER THIS TRAINING WILL YOU BE ABLE ‘TO DO’, INSTEAD OF SIMPLY TO REACT.

GOOD LUCK – GO FIND OUT IF YOU ARE GIFTED, GO AND BUILD YOUR MOTIVATION.

SEE NO ANIMAL CAN DO THIS, THEY DON’T HAVE THE STRENGTH.

SO CAN YOU BEAT ‘YOUR DISTRACTIONS’ FOR 70SECONDS?

DON’T SOUND HARD DOES IT, BUT YOU BE A CHILDISH FUCK UP, SO IT WILL BE, UNTIL YOU CAN DO IT, AND THEN YOU WILL NEVER NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN, AS YOU NOW HAVE THAT PATTERN – ALL GROWING UP COMES DOWN TO BURNING DOWN YOUR OLD STUPID PATTERNS AND THEN REPLACING WITH NEW, BETTER THAN ONES TESTED AND PERFECTED OVER AGES PAST. YOU NOW HAVE SEVERAL KEY ONES TODAY THAT ARE BEYOND ANY DOUBT BETTER THAN YOUR CHILDISH, FEAR DRIVEN, COMFORT SEEKING, SLAVE SOCIETAL, SELF INDULGENT SHITE – USE THEM – ITS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU ARE STUPID BUT IT IS YOUR PROBLEM – FIX IT!

PLEASE DON’T BE ONE MORE DESPERATE LITTLE TOOL WHO KNOWS BETTER, WHO JUDGES FROM YOUR TINY LITTLE LIFE EXPERIENCE BY TRYING TO BE RIGHT AND THEREFORE EXCUSE ALL YOUR FAKE SHIT, AS THAT IS THE ONLY POINT OF YOUR THINKING – REALIZE YOUR ANCESTORS KNEW ‘BETTER THAN’ AN INSECT LIKE YOU, WHO’S EVERY THOUGHT, EVERY WORD, EVERY IMPULSE IS A BIRD CALL IN THE JUNGLE, WITH NO MORE POINT TO IT THAN THAT, NUMB NUTS. GRASP JUST THIS LITTLE BIT OF INFORMATION FULLY AND THEN DEAL WITH THE TRIP HAZARD OF DISTRACTION…

SEE YOU COULD BE ANYTHING YOU WANTED TO BE, IF ONLY YOU GREW UP, STOPPED LYING, STOP FANTASIZING, STOP HAVING ALL THOSE IMAGINARY ‘HEROIC’ CONVERSATIONS IN YOUR HEAD ABOUT GEO-POLITICS, ABOUT WARS AND TERRORISM, ABOUT SAVING THE DAY OR STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF AT WORK, AT HOME, IN THE PUB, EVEN ON YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE CHAT GROUPS… AND ACTUALLY SAVE YOURSELF, INSTEAD…

IN MY EXPERIENCE, FOR FECKLESS, MODERN PEOPLE, WITH AN AVERAGE GIFT ON THE CURVE (WHICH MEAN IN THE FIRST 1/3 OF THE SCALE WHERE THE PEAK OF THE QUANTITY BELL CURVE SITS), THIS MEANS YOU HAVE ONE SIMPLE PROCESS TO ‘TRY’, WHICH INCLUDES THE PROCESS OF ‘RELEARNING HOW TO TRY’, GIVEN YOU ARE NOT AN EMPATH – FIRST UNDERSTAND NOW YOU LOST AS A CHILD BECAUSE YOU FAILED CHILDHOOD AND BECAME A GUTLESS TWAT INSTEAD – YOUR FAKE CHARACTER IS TOXIC, SO YOU HATE YOURSELF FOR FUN.

THEN, NOW YOU KNOW YOU MUST, NOW – TODAY – ‘TO CHANGE TO WIN’, SO THIS IS YOUR NEW MISSION IN LIFE: 

CAN YOU SAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO GET SELF CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO STOP ALL FORMS OF FORCED IMAGINATION, FIRST AS THEY ARE HAPPENING, AND LATER BEFORE THEY START BY GETTING ANNOYED WITH YOURSELF WHENEVER YOU CATCH THIS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY, TWATY SHIT HAPPENING.

THEN, AS A REACTION TO THIS STOPPING, YOU ADOPT THE ATTITUDE OF SUPERIORITY, BY ‘COMMANDING YOURSELF’ TO DO SOMETHING USEFUL ‘VERY WELL’ HOWEVER TRIVIAL YOU SEE ITS VALUE, TO A ‘GOOD STANDARD’, SIMPLY BY MAKING YOUR AWARENESS ‘BIGGER’ SO THE TASK IS ‘BENEATH YOU’.

THEN LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD AND DO SHIT, ITS A LOT MORE SATISFYING THAN YOUR FANTASY LIFE OF NOTHINGNESS – TO DESTROY YOURSELF FOR THE BRIEF FEELING THAT SELF DESTRUCTION GIVES YOU A MOMENT LATER, THE ‘AFTER GLOW’ BEFORE REALITY KICKS BACK IN, IS JUST A WASTE. 

ITS YOUR CHOICE BUT ‘WHATEVER’ – MY JOB HERE TODAY IS SIMPLY TO LET YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE, BY SHOWING YOU THAT WHATEVER YOU THINK ‘YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW’ IS NOTHING MORE THAN THE DELUSIONS OF A CHILD, HELL MOST OF YOUR LIFE NEVER EVEN FUCKING HAPPENED, ITS ALL A COMFORTING FANTASY THAT YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IS REAL TO COPE WITH YOUR SLAVERY, LIKE A KID, AND THAT IS TYPICAL FOR MOST.

BUT IF YOU ARE ABOVE THAT PEAK, SAY IF YOUR POWER IS NOT JUST 3 ZEROS ON THE EXPONENTIAL SCALE, IF ITS MORE LIKE 10 ZEROS IN THE MID RANGE OR ABOVE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, CAUSE SIMPLY WAITING UNTIL ITS OBVIOUS EVEN TO YOU THAT YOUR LIFE HAS GONE TO SHIT AS YOUR POWER HAS DECLINED WILL HAPPEN MUCH LATER IN YOU LIFE, AND FOR SOME OF YOU IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. A LOT OF THE REST OF THIS POST IS FOR YOU, THE ONES WHO MUST INTERVENE IN THEIR OWN LIVES – MUCH AS THE METHODS ABOVE WITH WORK THEY WON’T BE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THE HYPER SENSITIVE WITH YOU TENDENCY TOWARD EXTREME BEHAVIORS YOU ‘LIVE FOR’, YOU WILL ALWAYS REGRESS – YOUR CHILD FEEDS ON YOUR GIFT. 

THERE IS AN ANSWER OF COURSE BUT IT PERSONAL TO YOU, TO ‘YOUR TYPE’ – AT THE MID RANGE OR HIGHER YOUR GIFT IS SO POWERFUL THAT IT LITERALLY WON’T LET YOU DO ANYTHING THAT IS WRONG FOR YOU, AND YOU WILL FEEL COMPELLED TO RESIST ‘GENERIC GOOD ADVICE’, AT LEAST UNTIL YOU HAVE CLEARLY ‘LOST’, AND USUALLY ACCEPT YOU ARE IN SOME WAY ‘MENTALLY ILL’, AS THAT IS HOW YOUR SOCIETY TREATS FOLKS WHO SAY ‘HEAR VOICES’, OR SUFFER CONTINUAL BIPOLAR TRANCES, OR BECOME ONE MORE TEDIOUS MANIC DEPRESSIVE WHO THINKS THEY ARE BADDIE…

MUCH AS I OBVIOUSLY CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT THAT ANSWER IS, YOU MUST ACCEPT FIRST NOW THAT YOUR LIFE IS A SEARCH FOR THAT ANSWER, THE KEY TO THE DOOR OF ‘YOUR LAW’, OF WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, BUT THE ONE THING YOU CAN DO IS ACCEPT THAT YOUR RANDOM EGO YOU PICKED UP AS A CHILD HAS ‘LOST’, BY BEING VERY CLEAR THAT IT WAS NEVER YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE – YOU ARE WHAT YOUR ANCESTORS DID, YOU ARE FAR BIGGER THAN YOUR LITTLE LIFE EXPEREINCE, SO GET USED TO THE FACT THAT ‘YOUR EGO’ IS ‘WRONG’ FOR YOU, THEN ITS GETS A LITTLE EASIER TO DEAL WITH – YOU WILL UNDERSTAND YOUR AWKWARDNESS WITH NORMAL, YOUR ‘INABILITY TO BE NORMAL’ AS A BLESSING, NOT A CURSE…

BUT AT A BASIC LEVEL THE ADVICE IS THE SAME FOR ALL –

LEARN ‘HOW TO TRY’,

THEN FIND THE RIGHT THING FOR YOU, THAT ‘YOUR GIFT LONGS TO TRY’.

SO ‘HOW DA FUCK DO I FIND OUT WHAT TO TRY FOR ME’ THEN, YOU CHUNNER LIKE LAZY FUCK-UP?

Simple, you use an advanced understanding of the Rule of 3 (the rule of doing shit), combined with its over arching framework, the Rule of 7 (the rule of shocks)  and make the CHOICE TO ALWAYS ‘EVOLVE’, INSTEAD OF ‘DEVOLVE’, to avoid THE SUICIDE THAT IS ‘INVOLUTION’, TO DECLINE, THAT ALL MOMENTARY CHANGE INSIDE A CHILDISH MINDSET LEADS TO. See the reason I particularly am obsessed with getting the word EVOLUTION inside your head even at this stage is THAT CHANGE CAN GO 2 WAYS – YOU CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, OR YOU CHANGE FOR THE WORSE. The issue is that most change DRIVEN BY ‘THE NEED TO STOP DOING ILL SHIT’ ENDS UP CHANGING YOU FOR THE WORSE, AS THE POSITIVE ASPECT TO YOU IS ‘DOING LESS’ = YOU DECLINE. Even worse, you feel this less very quickly, which forces you right back to WHAT YOU WANT TO STOP in order to feel NORMAL AGAIN, AS THAT LESS UNBALANCES YOUR MIND STATE WHICH BECOMES OPPRESSIVE, LOW MOODY, ANCHORLESS DRIFTING, UNBEARABLY DIRECTIONLESS = FEEL LIKE SHIT.

See there is no point in me explaining these rules to you, TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU FAILURE TO BOTH UNDERSTAND AND USE THESE RULES, means your whole fucking life becomes a chaotic ZIG-ZAG UP AND DOWN THE FOOD CHAIN as you wanna change one minute and regress the next, whilst your overall vector of ‘LIFE DIRECTION’ HEADS DOWNSLOPE at AN EVER INCREASING ANGLE. You ain’t going to put the effort in to understanding that the 3 forces are in fact ‘FIXED ROLES’ based on the seqeunce POSITION of those 3 forces as they are TRIGGERED and play out with EACH POSITION HAVING THE CHARACTER of ONE OF the A/P/N FORCES = A ROLE. Hell every chubby fuck wit wants to change once a day, wants to escape their banal destiny at least once AFTER THEIR DISTRACTIONS ARE SATISFIED FOR A BRIEF PERIOD and vows to start taking ozempic tomorrow, before realizing that sensory excess is the only reason they bother living AS WITHOUT IT THEIR ANXETIES SEEK TO ‘AGGRESSIVELY DESTROY THEM’, so go right back to said excess until one day their Doc politely reminds them they are now in a ‘palliative care regime’ – welcome to Gods waiting room, just get comfy, take ya happy pills and try not to break the furniture, you won’t be here long.

So YOU WON’T BOTHER TO UNDERSTAND that once you have got passed the trite Woo-Woo of the self-help, the new age ‘APN’ seqeunce of emotional change being actually very rare in life, and even started to use the correct seqeunce of these 3 forces as they vary in the moment, almost always ‘PNA’ at the start, YOU ARE STILL FUCKED, as even those little steps will seem final to you, as YOU HAVE NOT GRASPED THE RULE OF 7 – THAT SEVERAL ITERATIONS OF THOSE 3 FORCES MUST PLAY OUT IN SEQEUNCE WHERE THE OUTPUT FORCE P3 VECTOR CHANGES CHARACTER TO BECME THE INPUT P1 OF THE NEXT ITERATION, TO GET YOU TO A POSITION OF ‘STABLE CHANGE’. Even worse is that you will need A COUPLE OF SMALL SHOCKS TO KEEP YOU ON TRACK when the natural law of enthropy, of ‘energy burn out’ in the middle of these OCTAVES of changes will otherwise dissipate all your good work to that point, and you slide into a kind of no mans land, unable to move either forward or back, ENERGY PARALYSIS.

You don’t understand your fragile mindstate is UNSTABLE AND PRONE TO REGRESS UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER THAN ‘NOW’ that makes all regression seem madness, so its stupid to even write that those shocks must come from at least 3 separate LINES OF CHANGE you have started and work on together, so you always have the ability to SHOCK YOURSELF when a different line of change crosses over to help a ‘stuck’ one by shocking it with a lesson about yourself learned elsewhere – you are way too fucking dumb…

No… but one thing you can do is this – UNDERSTAND ALL CHANGE AS A FORM OF STOPPING IS DEADLY UNTIL YOU REPLACE WHAT YOU STOPPED WITH SOMETHING BETTER, UNTIL YOU CREATE A STABLE PLACE THAT PROTECTS YOU FROM REGRESSION. It is the simple reason that the only really successful treatment for heroin addiction is Methidone – to replace behaviour change with a fake version of what you still want, much as you will STILL DECLINE. But what you CAN understand is that all change, however big the seqeunce of 3 force iterations you need to go through to get to it, is a FORM OF REPLACEMENT THERAPY for child like adults, OTHERWISE YOU CHANGE FOR THE WORSE, much as you may live a little longer, there is a lovely saying by an Irish comedian that kind of sums up what your life will then be like – ‘Giving up THE SMOKES does not make your life longer, IT JUST SEEMS THAT WAY..’.

ALL SUPERIORITY IS A FORM OF REPLACEMENT THERAPY FOR INFERIORITY, OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT NEED IT!

NEVER FALL INTO THE TRAP OF SIMPLY STOPPING WHAT IS DESTROYING YOU – YOU MINDSTATE WILL BREAK AS YOU GO MAD.

YOU MUST EVOLVE OR DECLINE, CHANGE IS CONSTANT, CHANGE IS FORCED ON YOU, CHANGE IS CLEARLY INEVITABLE.

SO CHOOSE BETTER THAN THIS OR BURN AS YOU FALL, WHILST REALIZING YOU ARE FALLING RIGHT NOW.

DON’T MATTER TO ME, BUT IT HAS TO MATTER TO YOU, YOU MUST SEE IT IN YOURSELF FOR REAL…

IF IT DON’T MATTER THEN ALL YOUR MOMENTARY CHANGE IS SIMPLY A ‘BAD HANGOVER’…

AND THERE IS NOTHING WE HATE MORE THAN THAT OBVIOUS, MENDACIOUS CRAP.

I DON’T CARE IF YOU FEEL ‘SORRY FOR YOURSELF’, ITS TRITE NARRCISISM,

SO WHY NOT TRY CHANGE INSTEAD – YOU’LL BE DEAD SOON.

GO ON – KICK IT UP A NOTCH, HAVE SOME ‘GAME’, EH.

THEN LET THAT ‘ATTITUDE’ PROTECT YOU,

CAUSE, LOOKING FROM THE OUTSIDE IN, I HAVE TO TELL YA YOUR EGO-SAFETY HAS CLEARLY NOT WORKED OUT TO WELL FOR YA, YET EVEN KNOWING THAT ABSTRACTLY, YOU ARE STILL GOING TO CLING TO IT, CLING TO YOUR OWN LITTLE FIELDS OF WORTHLESS ROCKS, UNTIL YOU DIE… See all of this Cathartic Shock stuff is in other posts, for other times AFTER YOU HAVE GROWN UP, so until then all change has to be REPLACEMENT THERAPY, until you replace that therapy with ADVENTURE, WITH THE NEED TO IMPOSE YOURSELF ON THIS WORLD A FEW MORE TIMES BEFORE YOU ARE DEAD AND FORGOTTEN.

Until then its all about Ego-Safety for little, fragile, self absorbed kiddies like you, ACTUAL BAD-ASS COMES LATER, much as I have to say I’m kinda expected to have mellowed as I age, but if anything I’m actually worse, think of little else but TO GO LOOKING FOR THE SHIT ON A DAILY BASIS, so care even less about what happens because of that and LET THE CARDS FALL WHERE THEY MAY. Well they are going to anyway, and its always funny to watch the animals blame the result of an action with no thought to what would of happened without said action, how much worse it would of been, see I JUDGE MYSELF BASED ON ‘INTEREST’ VS TEDIOUSNESS, LIKE ALL GOOD HEDONISTS, you can take you fake amoral opinions about me and fuck them out of your ass – ‘I OWN MY REPUTATION’, YET YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOURS IS, DO YA, yet its there for all to see in the faces of those around, you should you have the balls to look…

See your reputation, who you actually are, was shot to fuck years ago, its now a tattered, trivial, silly little thing that amuses those around you to point and stare as the ‘stereotype of you’ DOES YOUR ‘CLASSIC DAD’ SHIT on a routine, daily basis – YOU ARE AN ANT SIMPLY PRETENDING TO HAVE ANY OF YOUR QUALITY LEFT, YOU ONCE HAD IN ABUNDANCE, BY PAINTING OVER YOUR MESS WITH PURCHASES YOU CONSUME LIKE A GOOD LITTLE SLAVE IN YOUR OWN LITTLE ‘ANTI-HEROIC’ SOCIETY OF TOOLS, SPECTATORS AND HANGERS-ON. Its all a bit same shit different day, don’t you think, a bit ‘meh’, there is not even enough energy left in your crap to for folks like us to bother commenting on, is there, its so trivial even the propoganda of Sky News is more interesting..? 

So if it helps at all know – there is a classic line in one of the start trek movies, where a genial ‘god like’ shadowy figure walks up to a starving subsistence farmer in a desert landscape of a distance planet who nervously points a shoddy old gun at him and shouts, before the shadowy figure says, ‘REALLY? You would kill me… FOR A FIELD FULL OF ROCKS?’ before pissing himself laughing, AS THE FARMER lowers his gun and says ‘ITS ALL I HAVE…’.

So know now in your soul – that farmer is you, AS THAT IS WHAT THE FAKENESS OF EGO-SAFTEY DOES TO YOU, ya SILLY BITCH – IT ‘BELITTLES’ YOU. Are you not even a little bit better than TO NEED the safety of YOUR field full of rocks you have made for yourself IN ORDER TO ‘SETTLE FOR IT’? But please answer that question in your ‘own time’, not mine – I DON’T ARGUE WITH RETARDED CHILDREN, you need to grow up some before you speak to me my dear, SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND JUST HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IT IS TO HAVE TO REWORD THE GENIUS OF THE ANCIENTS INTO THE TIK-TOK SPEAK YOU UNDERSTAND – TRY HARDER, learn the english language, learn what word actually means by learning what they USED TO MEAN, ARE SUPPOSED TO MEAN, bitch, at least then you will be able to ‘say something that says something’…

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS SIMPLE ‘LIFE GUIDANCE’ – GET PASSED YOUR EGO SAFE ‘BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE’, YOUR INABILITY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF MAKES YOU EVEN MORE FUCKING BORING THAT YOU ALREADY ARE MADE BY ALL THE STEREOTYPICAL CRAP YOU CURRENTLY CHASE AS YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU ‘INTERESTING’, ‘COOL’,’BADASS’. Its not interesting, your shit is the comforts of a slave, the same comforts that millions of you use to cope, BUT DON’T WORRY, YOU ARE AT LEAST RIGHT IN ONE THING – UNTIL YOU GROW UP ALL YOU ARE IS YOUR ‘FIELD OF ROCKS’, SO BEST CLING ON TO THAT FIELD, DEFEND ANY THREAT TO IT WITH YOUR LIFE, AND GO TO YOUR GRAVE KNOWING THAT MISSION WAS ALL YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE WAS ABOUT – THE EGO-SAFETY OF A BITCH!

YES – see you can hide in the shadows with nothing but your (not so) secret obsessions to comfort you, but all that actually happens tomorrow is that you are slightly less than you were today, slightly weaker, slightly dumber, slightly fatter, slightly uglier, slightly more used and abused, slightly more of a joke, slightly less interesting, slightly less powerful, with slightly less energy, slightly less class, slightly less fashionable, slightly less desirable, slightly less knowledgeable, slightly less on trend, whilst being a lot more ‘nothing’, more of an embarrassment, more of a fantasist clinging onto your not at all secrets and not at all credible lies. Its all a big steaming pile of doggie do-do that you have forced yourself to BELIEVE IN ORDER TO BE STABLE, AND NOT GO TOTALLY BATSHIT CRAZY – THERE IS NO ADVENTURE IN YOUR LIFE IS THERE, IT ALL ONE BIG LONG TRIP DOWN ‘MEMORY LANE’, PROJECTED ONTO WHATEVER IS STANDING NEXT TO YOU…

SEE, YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER THE HIGH POINT OF YOUR SHIT ANYMORE, do ya, because their never really was one – your shit comes and goes in an instant, and that instant passess faster and faster, but WHAT ‘YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR’ IS THERE ALL THE FUCKING THE TIME, and all the world can see it, ALL THE FUCKING TIME – NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR VICTIM STORY, not even ‘us’. So TRY AND FIND SOME SAND IN YOUR BELLY EH, for my sake as your ‘shit show’ is long passed its sell by date, BUT MOST OF ALL TRY AND BE INTERESTING, your once proud position has already been taken by others far more interesting than you, so do try and remind yourself – ‘Evolution’ is ‘Competitive’, AND RIGHT NOW YOU ARE LOSING TO OTHERS WHO ‘LIE TO YOU’ so they can win, instead of you, fool, that is how all this works in reality, that is what it means TO FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF ‘THE REPUTATION’ THE OTHERS HAVE GIVEN YOU – THE COMPETITION MEANS YOU HAVE TO FIGHT, THAT IS THE START OF IT, THAT REALIZATION, THE NEED TO ‘TAKE BACK WHAT IS YOURS’, WHAT YOU HAVE LOST TO THEM, THE OTHERS, AS THEY HAVE TAKEN IT FROM YOU, and you did not even notice it go.

Be in no doubt, for reasons I simply not going to explain right now, in the end ITS ‘THEM OR YOU’, always, for everyone, in every age, as THAT IS HOW IT HAS TO HAPPEN SO THAT IT ‘WORKS’, otherwise it won’t work, just like now, like all the other shit you have tried, and all of this will be for nothing more than my own amusement, and ALL BECAUSE YOU ‘BOTTLED IT’.

Do you want to know HOW IT HAPPENS WHEN IT WORKS? Do you want to know why I use change or BURN all the time? Want to know one of the greatest teacher secrets that no one tells you cause its kind of a nasty, bastard thing? Want to know one of the key reasons behind this ‘exercise in style’ of a Post? Want to know how your greatest asset – your ability to cope – is actually your greatest WEAKNESS? Want to know why you fail even when you TRY, as all THE TRYING OF A CHILD IS ABOUT T GETTING BACK TO ‘MENTAL STABILITY’, what all Ego-Defense is actually about? Want to know the reason for all these dialogues of good and bad, success and failure? Want to know what we all know, even phycologists laugh about at their Xmas parties BECAUSE IT DEFINES YOUR WHOLE LIFE OF BLIND, MENTAL SLAVERY, OF ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’? Want to know WHY NO ONE TELLS YOU WHAT WE ALL KNOW, WHY NO ONE BUT THE HARDER, CALLOUS 4TH WAY BADDIES EVEN ‘WHISPERS’ IT TO YOU AT THE START BECAUSE YOU ARE A TOTAL PUSSY WHO CAN’T ACTUALLY COPE WITH ‘THE SHIT’?

Sure, and just in case you are so fucking dumb that you can’t yet grasp why your pat hetic version of the 3 force model – to want to change as some trivial hangover from petty badness, which meets resistance to change, which needs a BIG SHOCKING catalyst to beat that resistance – NEVER GETS OFF THE GROUND, BECAUSE THE 2ND P2 FORCE CRUSHES YOUR PATHETIC WILLPOWER IN A MATTER OF HOURS, EVEN MINUTES, then this is why YOU MUST ALWAYS START WITH ‘UNAVOIDABLE BUT MANAGEABLE SUFFERING’. Indeed THIS IS THE WAY YOU TAKE YOUR COMPLETE LACK OF WILLPOWER, OF BLOODY-MINDEDNESS of the table, and always START FROM SUFFERING YOU HAVE TO ESCAPE, AS YOU HAVE NO CHOICE – YOUR COMFORTS DON’T WORK ANYMORE BECAUSE YOUR COMFORTS HAVE BROKEN YOU!

You cannot change upwards from where you are now by ‘adjusting’, you must start as a child starts, much closer to ‘the beginning’ – YOU MUST PUT OUT THE FIRE AND MOVE THE HOUSE OF YOU ONTO FOUNDATIONS OF ROCK, INSTEAD OF THE QUICKSAND OF THE NO-CHARACTER YOU CURRENTLY HAVE!

SO LETS BE VERY, VERY CLEAR – FOR MOST YOU THIS IS ‘THE DEAL’:

YOU CANNOT BE TALKED INTO CHANGE LOGICALLY, WITH REASON, EVEN PROOF, YOU WILL REGRESS BACK TO YOUR VERSION OF ‘STABILITY’, EVERYTIME.

SEE EGO-SAFTEY IS ABOUT MENTAL STABILITY, SPECIFICALLY ‘DEFENDING THAT STABILITY’ AT ALL COSTS IN ORDER ‘TO FEEL GOOD IN THE MOMENT’, EVEN WHEN ITS COSTS YOU YOUR HEALTH, YOUR FUTURE, YOUR LIFE YOU WON’T CARE IN THE MOMENT, CAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD.

SO THE PURPOSE OF THESE TRUTHS TODAY IS TO PREPARE THE GROUND FOR THE MOMENT WHEN YOUR STABILITY IS TAKEN FROM YOU BY LIFE AND YOU HAVE TO CHANGE – YOU CAN NO LONGER TOLERATE YOUR MINDSTATE SO ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN THE WAY ‘YOU ARE’.

THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO – TO FOLLOW AN EXTERNAL CLASS SYSTEM AS A LIFELINE CAUSE YOUR EGO OF A CHILD HAS FINALLY BETRAYED YOU SO OFTEN EVEN YOU CAN SEE IT, AND EVEN YOU REALIZE THAT DOING THE SAME DUMB COMFORTING SHIT AIN’T GOING TO WORK, ITS A CYCLE.

UNDERSTAND – YOUR HOUSE OF YOU IS ‘ON FIRE’ NOW, BURNING AWAY LITTLE BY LITTLE, BUT YOU COMFORT YOURSELF FROM ‘THAT BURN’ AND KEEP THAT ‘HEAT’ AT BAY, BY SLOWLY TURNING YOURSELF INTO A ‘BOILED FROG’, WHO COPES, RIGHT UP TO THE POINT WHEN THEY CAN NO LONGER BREATH…

SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR – CHOOSE TO FEEL THE FLAMES NOW INSTEAD OF COMFORTING THEM – SOONER YOU START, SOONER YOU FEEL BETTER.

KNOW THAT YOU ONLY REALLY EVER HAVE 2 CHOICES IN THIS LIFE – ‘TO COPE LIKE A KID’ OR ‘TO CHANGE LIKE AN ADULT’ – CHOOSE WISELY.

SEE THE ONLY TIME ‘A TURKEY VOTES FOR XMAS’ IS WHEN IT KNOWS THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE MEANS IT WILL PERISH WAY BEFORE THEN…

AND YOU DO KNOW NOW YOU ARE GOING TO DIE SOON, YOU CAN STEP OUT OF THAT CHILDISH ATTITUDE OF IMMORTALITY FOR JUST A SEC OR 2?

AHHH, THATS A SHAME – CAUSE ‘YOUR LIVE FOREVER SHIT’ IS ONE OF THOSE LITTLE TESTS THAT TELLS US IF YOU CAN START NOW…

SEE THERE IS A REASON FOR EVERY LITTLE THING WE SAY TO YOU, PARTICUARLY WHEN YOU CAN START COUNTING BACK FROM HOW MANY MORE PRODUCTIVE SUMMERS YOU HAVE LEFT, WHERE YOU STILL HAVE A CHOICE WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH THAT SUMMER, AS YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE ANYWAY WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE ANYMORE, BUT YOU WILL BE STUCK WITH THE USELESS, SCARED LITTLE KID YOU CAN’T COMFORT ANYMORE.   

So please – Never be sniffy about your mental illness when it hits, AT THE BEGINNING PARTICUALRY – MUCH OF IT IS ‘YOUR GIFT’ TRYING TO KEEP YOUR DUMB ASS ALIVE – JUST MAKE THE FUCKING MOST OF IT BY THROWING BIG CHUNKS OF YOUR CHARACTER PATTERNS AWAY AND THEN CHANGE UPWARD BY ‘BUILDING BACK BETTER’, and stop trying get back to your NORMAL, as that as what made you ill in the first place!

You could of of course just CHOOSE YOUR SUFFERING RIGHT NOW, not that many of you will, so know that you will regrest that GUTLESS failure bitterly later, AS YOUR BILL WILL BE MUCH HIGHER, and the ‘money’ you have left TO PAY IT will be far less than you can spare, and then ‘your desperation’, your fear of the future, YOUR ENERGY WEAKNESS will become permanent, EVEN YOUR FAKE CHARACTER WILL DISAPPEAR AS ‘YOU NO LONGER KNOW YOURSELF’, AND ‘YOU BURN’ – THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL UNSCHOOLED HIGHLY GIFTED, SO TRY AND PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY NOW. IF NOTHING ELSE AS YOU WILL NEED TO ACT WITH URGENCY AND FOCUS AT THAT POINT, AS THIS WILL NO LONGER BE ‘SELF-HELP SPIRITUALITY’, IT WILL BE THIS, ‘BIG PILLS’ OR SELF-HARM.

DO YOU SEE WHY GETTNG YOU ‘TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN’ ASAP IS THE GREATEST KINDESS FOLKS LIKE ME CAN EVER DO FOR YA?  

Want to read on?

NO? So sing along with me (and a very young Doris Day) now – ‘Enjoy yourself, its later than than you think… enjoy yourself while your still in the pink…..’, good luck with the manic depression my dear, tempus fugit – your remaining time is a fugitive that has ‘runaway with the best of you’, so now all you have is this dogs-breakfast of a life, BEST MAKE THE MOST OF IT BITCH, it won’t last much longer now. And no I really can’t be arsed explaing that in Tik-Tok speak, there is no point – you are a retarded, and sadly I left all my craytons at school. I have no desire to hurt your feelings, you have made the decision to burn rather than change and that will be more than enough hurt for you, BUT the next time you try and grasp at the half assed ‘performance of youth’ do look around at the folks who have ALREADY ‘replaced you’, who are younger than you, prettier, smarter, funnier, happier, AND NOWHERE AS HEAVILY ‘DAMAGED GOODS’ as you, just starting out on the same sad little trip of ‘Lower Middle Class Baddie’ as you, and then try and help them NOT BE YOU, as it may break your eventual fall, somewhat. Don’t become a parasite who feeds off youth UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, as there really is a special place in hell for them, and you really, really don’t want that, as those BIG BLACK HAIRY SPIDERS you dread so much will ‘find you’. So whatever you do, DON’T STARE AT YOUR BEDROOM CEILING WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO BLACK OUT VIA DRINK AND DRUGS, as that is one mistake YOU WILL REGRET IN THE VERY SHORT TERM…

Yes? You looked in the mirror this am and DISCOVERED THAT YOU ARE 20 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU THOUGHT? You have just worked out how many happy summers you have left and it scared the shit out of you? Your mental health ain’t what it used to be and all looks a bit darker now, AS THEY ARE ALL OUT TO GET YOU? You see that your obessions are shaping up to kill you and and have decided you don’t want to go out that way, SHUNNED, BROKEN AND DESPERATE? You need drugs everyday just TO FUNCTION, and sadly YOU JUST caught your boss WINCING as you are OBVIOUSLY WASTED IN A TEAMS MEETING AGAIN, WINKING AT THE NEW GUY LIKE ‘THE OFFICE WHORE’? You have just noticed you have got SLOW mentally and can no longer pretend to be a 13y/o in public, as people back away from CRAZY OLD party girls? You have become aware that your reputation is no longer NICE, even acceptable in your society and is dominating your increasing level of failure at life? You woke up in hospital with no memory of what happened and the first person to visit you was a cop who wants to talk about the messages on your phone, AS YOUR PARTNER HAS CALLED THEM ON YOU IN SELF DEFENCE AND NOW SEEKS YOUR IMPRISONMENT, because you have become ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY EVIL’, even though you thought it was just a bit of harmless fun, LIKE A CUNT?

Ahhhh, YOU WANT TO ‘HEDGE YOUR BETS’, you want to know but dont want to ‘DO’, so have not yet figured out that is your gift trying to help you STOP BEING A STUPID CUNT WHO LIVES IN A FANTASY WORLD IN ORDER COPE WITH BEING A NASTY, 2 FACED LITTLE CUNT WHO HAS TO CONSTANTLY LIE ALL THE TIME IN ORDER TO SURVIVE LIKE A CHAINSTORE WHORE, BUT IS STILL TOO WEAK TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN ‘CONSUME COMFORT’ AND HATE YOURSELF IN UNPRODUCTIVE, UNPROFITABLE LITTLE BURSTS OF OVER THINKING LATER, like a good little stereotype of your modern age, ENGAGING in THE DRAINING CYCLES OF THE SAME OLD SHIT WHOS SOLE PURPOSE IS TO WEAKEN YOU SO YOU DON’T NOTICE in that moment, yet in the full knowledge that you own nothing and ‘THE AI SLAVES’ are already COMING TO REPLACE YOU AND YOUR  BANAL LITTLE LIFE OF ‘SUB HUMAN SLAVERY’ you have made so ‘pointlessly comfortuable’, acceptable, BEARABLE, AND ALL YOUR TEDIOUS LITTLE ‘HAPPY LIFE’ IS ABOUT TO BE FUCKED INTO OBLIVION, AND I MEAN ‘NEXT YEAR’, SO EVEN A LAZY LITTLE BITCH AS DUMB AS YOU IS STARTING TO GET SLIGHTLY WORRIED THAT EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU HAVE IS ALL ABOUT TO GO TO HELL IN LAST YEARS ‘CHEAP’ HANDBAG THAT YOU HOPE SOMEONE NOTICES YOUR OFF THE RACK ‘FAKE  CLASS’, IN THE NASTY POLLUTED URBAN SHITHOLE YOU HIDE IN WHILST ENSURING YOU ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH ‘GEAR’ TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER W/E, HELL EVEN YOUR SAFTEY MAN HAS SEEN THROUGH YOUR LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT EXCUSES AND IS NOW LOOKING ELSEWHERE FOR THE QUALITY HE THOUGHT YOU HAD?

And you have no fucking clue what to do, AS YOU ARE STARTING TO SUSPECT ‘YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT’ NOW, and I mean ALL THE TIME, CAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ARE SHIT AT EVERYTHING, ALL THAT PRETEND QUALITY IS TOTALLY FAKE? (Yawn…). 

Maybe its time for you then, BUT BEFORE YOU DO ENGAGE WITH ME, best know this – 

WANNA KNOW WHAT SCARY IS? – YOUR SHIT IS ‘OBVIOUS’ SO NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU, NO ONE CARES ABOUT ONE MORE CHANCER LIKE YOU.

SO NOW YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN UNTIL YOU COMMIT TO BEING ‘BETTER THAN’ AND LEARN TO HAVE SOME ‘MANNERS’, ‘RESPECT’.

EVEN I’M NOT GOING TO HELP YOU UNTIL THEN – YOU ARE NOTHING, SO YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE ENERGY.

SEE BEFORE THEN YOU ARE JUST GOING TO LIE YOUR STUPID LITTLE ASS OFF,

CAUSE THAT IS ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO, TO PROTECT YOURSELF.

SEE YOUR NOT REALLY A BADDIE, ARE YOU BITCH…

YOU’RE JUST SCARED ALL THE TIME, AND THAT IS WHY ‘THE WORLD’ LOOKS DOWN ON YOU, AS NO ONE SEES WHAT YOU ‘COULD BE’, BECAUSE BOTH WHAT YOU WHERE, WHAT YOU COULD OF BEEN IS NOW JUST A CHILDISH FANTASY, THAT IS VERY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE BUT YOU – YOU NEED TO BELIEVE NO ONE KNOWS AS OTHERWISE THE REAL TIME HUMLIATION OF BEING YOU WOULD INCINERATE YOU///

ACCEPT YOUR FAKE CHARACTER HAS FAILED YOU, ACCEPT IT NOW BEFORE YOU READ ANOTHER WORD.

SEE THAT YOU HAVE BECOME A JOKE, BETRAYED BY ALL, BUT MOST OF ALL BY ‘YOU’.

AND THEN SHOW UP FOR SCHOOL, WHILE THERE IS STILL ANY SCHOOL LEFT THAT WILL LET YOU ‘IN’, DICKHEAD.

Ohhhh, sorry – forgot to say – IF YOUR ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION ABOVE WAS ‘NO’ BUT YOU ARE STILL READING? SHAME ON YOU, NOW ITS TIME FOR YOU TO FUCK OFF AND DIE, CAUSE YOU HAVE BECOME ‘A DOG-IN-A-MANGER’, THE MOST HATED OF ALL PARASITES, who survive by stopping all others having what they CAN’T HAVE by pretending to be RIGHT, whilst trying to be’secretly clever’. We hate that here, so know you have become sub-human, there is no reason to be kind to you when you get in the way again – you are not just living on borrowed time, you live on borrowed everything, so no one will notice what happens to you. See YOU ARE NOT AN ENEMY, YOU ARE A FAT BUG ON A WALL, staring at BETTER THAN you whilst trying to control it, feed off it, as that petty vampirism is all you have left, BUT YOU HAVE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE NOW, so KNOW ‘EVOLUTION’ (and Big Black Spiders) await – YOUR REMANING PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH IS AS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT A PIECE OF HUMAN SHIT IS, so best get used to ugly folks looking through the bars at ‘the freak in the zoo’..

So we leave you now where we began – WHAT IS A CHILD, but this time we add THE KEY terms of its behaviour patterns, that underpin its existence, THAT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE WITHOUT EXTERNAL HELP = A CHILD LIES ALL THE TIME. But this does not mean what you think it does – CONSCIOUS LYING IN THE MOMENT – where you decide to make up shit instead of telling what you know to be the truth, IT MEANS PRETENDING TO KNOW THE TRUTH, TO BELIEVE YOUR CONDITIONED, UNCONSCIOUS LIE AS ‘YOUR TRUTH’. See much as its starts with COMFORTING LIES OF CHILDHOOD, TO REMAIN A CHILD MEANS THESE BECOME ‘YOUR BELIEFS’, THAT THEN GO UNDERGROUND TO BECOME YOUR FAKE CHARACTER AS THEY ARE NEVER EXAMINED AGAIN FOR THERE RELEVANCE OR HONESTY – THIS IS THE KEY MECHANISM OF HOW CHILDHOOD PATTERNS AS REACTIONS TO ANXIETY ARE FORMED, SO THIS IS WHAT FUCKS YOU FOREVER, UNLESS YOU GROW OUT OF IT. See this is what CREATES THE PRE-CONDITIONED FANTASY WORLD YOU LIVE IN, WHERE ALL THESES SITUATIONS AND HAPPENING HAS PRE-CONDITIONED MEANING THAT DON’T EXIST IN THE MOMENT, BUT YOU ‘READ THAT MEANING INTO THEM’…

SO YOU LIE ALL THE TIME, WHILST THINKING ‘YOU KNOW YOUR TRUTH’,

THAT MAKES EVERYTHING UNREAL, UNTRUTH, AND THEREFORE LACKING IN ENERGY – YOUR TRUTH IS ALWAYS WRONG.

AND IN THE END ITS YOUR LIES THAT KILL YOU, BECAUSE THEY TAKE ALL YOUR ENERGY FROM THE TRUTH, FROM ‘THE REAL’.

SO YOU MUST LEARN TO ‘BE REAL’ ABOVE ALL ELSE AS THE GUIDING LIGHT OF YOUR SOUL, OTHERWISE YOU ARE JUST ONE MORE CHILDLIKE STEREOTYPE. WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT GIFTED HEDONISTS IS THAT YOU ALL KNOW THIS ‘INSTINCTLY’, IT CAN EVEN UNDER PIN YOUR WHOLE ATTITUDE TO LIFE, YOUR DESIRE TO ‘FEEL REAL’ WHICH SADLY USUALLY TRANSLATES INTO EXTREMES OF ‘EMOTIONAL REACTION’, AS THAT IS THE ONLY ACCESS TO THE FEELING OF REAL YOU HAVE, MUCH AS IT CAN BE VERY ADDICTIVE, AS ALL ELSE FEELS BLAND, FAKE, A LIE, A CON, BORING. BUT THAT DON’T MATTER, THIS INFORMATION BUT BE USEFUL TO YOU MENTALLY TO HAVE ‘AN EFFECT’, SO YOU MUST SEE IT CLEARLY :-

ACCEPT NOW YOU LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD OF SELF TAUGHT LIES, AND VOW TO CHANGE IT, TO BE REAL AGAIN.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ‘YOUR TRUTH’ – THERE IS ‘THE TRUTH’, OR THERE IS ‘YOUR CONDITIONED PREFERENCE’.

YOUR ABILITY TO ‘KNOW THE TRUTH IN THE MOMENT’ WILL BE ALMOST ZERO, SO YOU ONLY KNOW ‘YOUR CONDITIONING’.

YOUR CONDITIONING IS NOT THE FUCKING TRUTH, IT IS NOT EVEN ‘A BELIEF SYSTEM’, IT IS SCATTERED PATTERNS OF CRAP YOU PICKED UP AS A KID.

SO IT IS VERY USEFUL TO SEE THAT YOU LIVE ‘A CONSCIOUS LIE’, A SET OF FAKE LITTLE CHARACTER ROLES THAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU PLAY.

A very long time a go a very taciturn Zen teacher of mine GAVE OUT A VERY LONG sigh, and repeated the same little speech he can given me a 100 times – I MUST LEARN TO DOUBT MYSELF IN THE MOMENT OF ACTION, as the reason for that action, the judgement of the need for it was a very probably an unconscious lie, and the belief in that lie was the reason I wanted to do it, without that lie I could easily stop myself, indeed I would not WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE AS POLICY, MY LAW. See however much I knew that abstractly, BELIEVED IT EVEN, it did not work for me in the moment – THE REALITY OF MY SITUATION VS THE ABSTRACT KNOWLEDGE NEVER MET UP IN MY MIND IN TIME, so the knowledge was useless. So instead of just going away to TRY HARDER, I stopped as I got up and turned around to face him and said – ‘THIS DOES NOT WORK FOR ME, I CAN’T CUT THROUGH THE BLUR IN MY MIND IN TIME, ONLY AFTERWARDS’, to which he clapped his hands together and said ‘well done!, now you UNDERSTAND ‘YOUR REALITY’ IN THE CONTEXT OF ‘ACTUAL REALITY’, so it is worth telling you YOUR SPECIFIC WAY TO DO THIS, IN THE MOMENT OF GIVING INTO YOUR LIES AGAIN, GIVING INTO ‘UNCONSCIOUSNESS WITHOUT REFLECTION, INSTEAD OF ‘STAYING SELF-CONSCIOUS’ AND DOUBTING YOURSELF’.

So before I tell you this, know that this is the WAY OF THE BADDIE, indeed you actually need the life expereince of the bad folks of this world in order to do it EASILY, TO ALREADY HAVE THE PATTERN FROM CHILDHOOD, which is why he gave this to me in the moment of proving I was worth it, HOWEVER THESE DAYS I MET A GOOD FEW MID-HIGHLY GIFTED WOMEN WHO STILL HAD THE QUICKNESS OF MIND TO BE ABLE TO LEARN HOW TO DO IT, like a good Samuari, learning one of the greatest self consciousness tricks of all time, at the feet of his Rinzai Zen master, before taking pride in being unaffected even by his imminent death…

LEARN TO LIE CONSCIOUSLY TO A VERY GOOD STANDARD – LEARN TO BE AN ‘CONSCIOUS ACTOR’.

THIS MEANS TO LEARN TO LIE BY ACCEPTING YOU WON’T BE BELIEVED, BUT YOU CAN CONTROL WHAT THAT ‘DISBELIEF’ MUST MEAN.

THEN UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU SAY IN TERMS OF ‘YOUR BELIEFS’, THE MEANING YOU ATTRIBUTE  TO SENSORY INPUT IS A CONSCIOUS LIE.

SO AS A CONSCIOUS LIE, YOU, WHO IS THINKING IT, IS BEING CONNED, AND THERE IS AN UNCONSCOUS REASON FOR THAT CON WHICH IS ‘THE TRUTH’.

THE TRUTH OF WHAT JUST OCCURED IS BEHIND THE LIE YOU ATTRIBUTE TO IT, BEFORE IT IN TIME, AND YOU MUST LOOK FOR IT = SELF DOUBT.

SO LEARNING TO LIE CONSCIOUSLY MEANS YOU WILL RECOGNIZE IT WHEN IT IS DONE TO YOU BY ‘YOU THE CHILD’, YOU WILL SEE ‘BEHIND THE MASK’.

THIS PROCESS NOT ONLY WAKES YOU UP IN NORMAL LIFE, CRUCIALLY IT KEEPS YOU AWAKE ALL THE TIME, IF YOU CAN DO IT – IT MAY NOT BE FOR YOU, BUT AT A HIGH LEVEL OF GIFT YOU MAY SURPRISE YOURSELF WITH YOUR ABILITY TO TELL A LIE IN A CERTAIN STYLE WHILST CONTROLLING WHAT THEY THINK IS THE TRUTH BEHIND THAT LIE, BY CONTROLLING THE IMPLIED MEANING BEHIND ‘THE REASON I WOULD TELL THAT LIE’. THEN YOU SIMPLY NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS BEING ‘DONE TO YOU’ BY YOUR CHILDISH PATTERN CRAP THAT YOU STILL BELIEVE – YOUR INTERPRETATION OF REALITY IS A FORM OF MANIPULATION, CHILDLIKE CONTROL.

SEE ANY GOOD TEACHER NEVER REALLY BELIEVES THE CONTENT OF WHAT YOU SAY, THEY LOOK FOR THE UNCONSCIOUS REASON BEHIND WHY YOU WOULD SAY IT, AND THAT IS WHAT BETRAYS THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU, MUCH AS THEY NEVER TELL YOU THAT, AS YOUR GUTLESSNESS MEANS YOU WOULD THEN ‘FAIL THE LESSON’ OUT OF THE TERROR OF BEING FOUND OUT, MUCH AS YOU ALREADY HAVE BEEN FOUND OUT, SO SHOULD JUST ‘ACCEPT THAT’…

IN TIME YOU WILL NEVER BE CONNED BY YOUR CHILDISH CONMAN AGAIN – IT IS A SHOCKING THING, SO WORKS FAST, IF YOU CAN DO IT – THIS WILL SHOW YOU ‘THE TRUTH BEHIND YOUR FAKE BELIEFS’ IN REALTIME, BECAUSE IT WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING UNCONSCIOUSLY INSIDE YOU – YOU WILL SEE THE ‘REAL REASON’ BEHIND YOUR BELIEF, WHICH WILL HAVE VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH THAT SURFACE BELIEF, SO IS ‘SHOCKING’ – MANY OF YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT YOU ARE THE ANTI-YOU, AS YOU HAVE BECOME THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOUR CONSCIENCE LIKES AND DISLIKES, PARTICUARLY IS YOU HAVE FALLEN IN TO THE DISHONOR OF CONSTANT LYING BY ‘WILLFULLY FORGETTING YOURSELF’ TO COPE WITH CHILDHOOD PAIN.

If you are taught this as a child is very quickly becomes 2nd nature – to second guess everyone who you expect to lie to you, which is everyone as they lie to themselves – therefore using this exact same system you can learn to second guess YOURSELF, and see the obvious cons behind what YOU WANT TO SAY OR THINK OR FEEL. Where I come from this is called the ‘2 Layer Con’, it takes times to learn but I’m not going to explain that, other that the trick is to emphasize the obvious lie, whilst leaving subtle traces of ‘the truth/lie’ you want them to believe, as if you are nervous of that truth will slip out anyway because the obvious lie is a ‘mirror image of the truth/LIE’ you want them to believe. When perfected it leads on to the much more difficult ‘3 Layer Con’, which is to actually tell the truth or a ridicolous story whilst making it seem like an obvious lie, that imples a lie behind the lie, but they believe something else is MOST LIKELY THE TRUTH, a half way house in between the 2 cause they know this is a game for gangsters to simply conceal the truth. This is what all bad people do when they get good, and frankly rarely bother with the 2 layer versions – bad people don’t care what you believe, indeed they lead you to believe what you want to believe so you ‘feel clever’ AND THEN THEY CAN READ YOU, bad people only care that you are now confused and don’t know the actual truth, indeed EVEN YOU KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW THE TRUTH, YOU ONLY KNOW WHAT ‘YOU WANT TO BELIEVE’ – you are guessing.

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THIS METHOD – TO 2ND GUESS YOURSELF AS IF YOU HAVE CAUGHT YOU THE CHILD IN A CONSCIOUS LIE, A LIE IT HAS FED INTO YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IN ORDER TO CONTROL YOU VIA YOUR PATTERNS, PARTICUARLY WHEN THAT PATTERN REACTION FEELS ‘URGENT’, SO IT WORTH PUTTING THE EFFORT IN TO LEARN IT – THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO DOUBT YOURSELF IN REALTIME, THE GATEWAY INTO ALL ZEN LEVELS OF ACHIEVEMENT. BUT THE SIMPLE TRICK IN CASE YOU ARE STILL THAT STUPID IS TO ACCEPT ‘YOU LIE TO YOURSELF’, MOST OF YOUR THOUGHTS/FEELINGS/SENSATIONS/EMOTIONS ARE TOTAL SHITE THAT ARE NOT TRIGGERED LOGICALLY BY ANY RATIONALE, THEY ARE TRIGGERED BY SOMETHING ELSE YOU CANNOT SEE UNLESS YOU LOOK IN REAL TIME, ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS THEN CONSCIOUS YOU IS FORCED INTO ACTUALLY THINKING, INSTEAD OF REPEATING LIES SO PRACTICED THAT YOU DON’T EVEN HEAR YOURSELF THINK THEM, LET ALONE SAY THEM.

THIS IS HOW YOU GET PASSED THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT NORMAL PEOPLE, THERE WHOLE LIFE CONSISTS OF REPEATING BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE, YET THEY BELIEVE THEY ARE ‘COMMUNICATING FACTS’ INSTEAD OF JUST MAKING EMOTIONAL NOISES THAT HAVE NO TRUTH IN THEM WHAT-SO-EVER. When folks are prepared to learn this then I know they have serious hope, as to find a way into analysising yourself is often the biggest stopper for even the most highly gifted – I LOVE FOLK WHO CAN DO THIS AND ALWAYS HELP THEM. SO THE LAST LITTLE TIP IS TO ALWAYS PAUSE BEFORE YOU ‘ACT ON IMPULSE’ whenever you can, whenever you have the energy, AND QUIETLY TELL YOURSELF ‘THIS IS A PATTERN LIE – WHY DO I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS?’ then JUST do what you think BEST even if that is STILL acting on the lie, you might be surprised what starts to happen in your head when you do, but try not to get scared and push on anyway, as you have found ‘your way’ into to GROWING UP!

When I meet folks who struggle with this process given they could do it easily out of thier ‘quickness of wit’ it is usally down to some LEVEL OF SUCCESS, SOME VALUE they attribute to THIER EGO, OVER AND ABOVE ITS ACTUAL PURPOSE OF EGO-DEFENCE – YOUR EGOS ONLY JOB IT TO FEND OFF EMOTIONAL PAIN, THAT IS WHAT CREATES IT IN CHILDHOOD. Now frankly to be EGOTISICAL at that level means you are very unlikely to be gifted, as the super egos of this world are almost always super-animals, with no gift whatsoever, AND EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO ANIMAL LEVEL EMOTION, TO DOMINATE, TO WIN, TO FEEL POWERFUL OVER OTHERS BLAH, BLAH. For the odd gifted who struggle to get into this as a process as mindset IT REALLY HELPS TO SEE YOUR FAILURE AS ‘A CONTRAST BETWEEN WHAT YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO DO VS WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO IF YOU RULED THE WORLD’, as they will be very different. This will help you see that you DON’T DO WHAT YOU WANT, YOU FOLLOW YOUR CONDITIONING, even when it leads to an ‘acceptable level of failure’ YOU GET ANOTHER OUT OF IT AS A TRADE OFF – EGO-SAFETY – TO MAKE IT ‘OK’, which is how your whole life is passing, BUT YOU HAVE SIMPLY FORGOTTEN THIS BOLLOCKS.

Now to avoid you natural distaste for lying and RETURN TO WHAT I SAID NEAR THE BEGINNING OF THIS DIALOGUE, I WANT TO FINISH BY EMPHASIZING 1 BIG THING, TO PROVIDE YOU WITH A ‘STARTING HANDLE’ TO GROWING UP:

YOU NEED A WAY TO BREAK YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHTS, OF THE CONTINUAL FLOW OF CONDITIONED PATTERN REACTIONS.

YOU NEED SOMETHING SIMPLE AND OBVIOUS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND NOW, SO DON’T DOUBT IN THE MOMENT OF USING IT.

SEE THE PROBLEM MANY OF YOU BIG KIDS HAVE IS THE SAME AS ALL ZEN STUDENTS – YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. 

Indeed this is such an issue over the entire history of spirituality that the f/e of many systems CONSISTS OF NOTHING BUT THIS, which you will know as THE FORCED USE OF PHYSCIAL POSTURE, as that is one of the few ways you can USE YOUR BODY TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. The problem with this is that it requires a classroom environment or YOU THE BIG KID WILL WEAR YOU DOWN AND STOP YOU, OR PERVERT THE GOAL OF THAT PHYSCIAL POSTURE AS SIMPLE QUIETISM/RELIEF FROM ANXIETY, and so miss the point of it. Zen itself rails against the perversion of Just Sitting for an easy life, AS YOU WILL HEAD OFF INTO ‘DAY DREAMS’ INSTEAD OF USING IT ACTIVELY TO ‘THINK NON-THINKING’, with all the effort you can muster in that moment.

SO HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DO IT? Simple – you break your chain of thought BY CHANGING YOUR PERSPECTIVE MENTALLY TO THAT OF AN EXTERNAL CLASS SYSTEM BY DECIDING TO LOOK AT THE ISSUE IN A DIFFERENT WAY, A DIFFERENT CONTEXT PROVIDED BY THAT CLASS SYSTEM , whilst totally ignoring what you the CHILD ‘WANTS YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT’. This is your way into it, IT IS A DOORWAY YOU CAN STEP THROUGH THAT ALLOWS YOU TO DO THINGS LIKE GIVE CONSCIOUS ORDERS OR LIE CONSCIOUSLY WITH A 2 LAYER CON, AND MANY, MANY OTHER THINGS BESIDES. It is a Role you can play that allows you to suspend the disbelief of your childlike mind, churing out pattern garbage in one long chain of thought, without the need to focus on your breath or hold yourself rock still until your thoughts die away by themselves. 

The simplest modern example is to DECIDE TO BE GRATEFUL ABOUT SOMETHING RATHER THAN RESENT IT AS YOU THE CHILD WANTS YOU TO DO, but then go on from that gratefulness and use that GAP IN YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT TO DO USEFUL STUFF, rather than as a comfort, which I will explain below. But the point I want you to take away is simple – CHANGING YOUR PERSPECTIVE IN THE MOMENT TO A DIFFERENT ONE YOU FORCE ON YOURSELF BREAKS YOUR CHAIN OF THOUGHT BY CHANGING HOW YOU RELATE TO YOUR THOUGHTS AS USEFUL OR USELESS, AND THAT BREAK ALLOWS YOU TO START TO DO OTHER STUFF YOU OTHERWISE COULD NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT BEFORE. 

And no matter what the internet tells you to do, whatever partial woo woo ADVICE that sounds comforting to you like gratitude or forgiveness that dead end as anxiety relief, what you are actually going to say to yourself in those precise moments is A FORM OF ACCEPTANCE THAT TRANSLATES INTO A ‘FOCUSED DETERMINATION TO TRY’, THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS A LOT LIKE THIS:

‘LETS GROW UP AND GET ON WITH IT NOW, BITCH – YOU’LL BE DEAD SOON.’

THIS WAY YOU CAN START FROM WHERE YOU ARE NOW, INSTEAD OF FROM YOUR FANTASY WORLD = TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

THEN DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT BY LOOKING AT WHAT YOUR CURRENTLY DOING ‘DIFFERENTLY’ = CONTEXT CHANGE.

MAYBE EVEN TRY AND IMAGINE WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE SUPERIOR TO ‘THIS’ TEDIOUS SHIT YOU HAVE DONE,

AND THEN ORDER YOURSELF TO DO IT, RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

AND ‘CLASS’ IT THE FUCK UP A BIT, EH?

IMAGINE WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE A GROWN UP WHO DID NOT NEED TO COMFORT THEMSELVES ALL THE FUCKING TIME – THIS IS THE FASTEST WAY INTO ‘CHANGE’, WHICH BECOMES ‘EVOLUTION’ – SO THIS IS BOTH YOUR BEST DEFENSE AGAINST YOU THE CHILDS ATTACKS, AND THE WEAPON YOU CAN USE TO KILL THE SILLY BITCH. LOOK AT THE INFERIOR TRASH YOU HAVE SURROUNDED YOURSELF WITH IN ORDER TO COMFORT YOUR CHILD AND KNOW YOU OWE NOBODY NOTHING – YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND ANY TIME YOU WISH, AND MOST OF THOSE CUNTS SOLD YOUR ASS OUT YEARS AGO, SO THEY DESERVE ‘CHANGE’!

LIFE IS SHORT – KEEP CHANGING YOUR PERSPECTIVE UNTIL YOU FIND ONE THAT WORKS FOR YOU.

SEE THAT IS HOW YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE, AS THAT IS HOW YOU DEVELOP THE SUPERIOR ATTITUDE THAT ‘PROTECTS YOU’.

THEN YOU DON’T NEED THE LITTLE MECHANISMS OF EGO-SAFETY TO PROTECT YOU, AS THEY ARE SO ‘FEEBLE’ BY COMPARISON.

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE IS WHAT GETS YOU STARTED, SUPERIORITY IS WHAT GETS YOU THE REST OF THE WAY,

BUT ITS THE ‘FUCK YOU’ ATTITUDE OF THE GIFTED THAT KEEPS YOU SAFE IN THE MEAN TIME…

WORK ON YOUR BLOODY MINDEDNESS, IT WILL KEEP ANXIETY OFF YOU LONG ENOUGH TO START!

THE EQUALITY THAT HAS BEEN RAMMED DOWN YOUR THROAT SINCE CHILDHOOD IS TOTAL BOLLOCKS – A REPACKAGED FORM OF ACCEPTABLE INFERIORITY, AN ANTI-CLASS SYSTEM, A DUMBING DOWN TO NOTHINGNESS THAT THE FOLKS WHO ENFORCE IT DON’T EVEN BELIEVE, THEY ARE IN IT TO WIN IT – ALL IS EVOLUTION, ALL AROUND YOU, EVERYTHING, EVERYDAY IS DRIVEN BY EVOLUTION, IT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF YOU, THE PURPOSE OF YOU! TO BE SUPERIOR TO YOUR CONSTANT LIES OF EGO SAFETY, YOU NEED TO FEEL SUPERIOR SO YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO BOTHER WITH THEM ANYMORE, INDEED YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO BE KIND, AS YOU NO LONGER FEEL THREATHENED BY LIFE, AS NOW LIFE IS THREATHENED BY YOU…

AND YES, IT IS THAT EASY, WHEN YOU CAN DO IT, SO WELCOME TO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, JUST REMEMBER, LIKE ALL GOOD HEDONISTS FACED WITH A CHALLENGE TO YOUR QUALITY, NONE OF THIS IMAGINED PAIN REALLY MATTERS, AS YOU WILL BE DEAD SOON ANYWAY… AND NO, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE GANGSTER TO GROW UP, BUT IT SURE HELPS IF YOU LEARN TO THINK LIKE ONE, AS THEN YOU WON’T SUFFER FROM BLAME, YOU WILL LAUGH AT IT!

WHEN YOU TRULY UNDERSTAND THE SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS DEVICE OF ‘US OR THEM’ AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL BY PRACTISING WHAT I PREACH, THEN YOU WON’T GO TO FAR WRONG, AND WITH ANY LEVEL OF GIFT AT ALL YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT HOW QUICKLY IT BECOMES ‘2ND NATURE’ TO YOU, HOW QUICKLY YOU THROW OFF ‘THE SHACKLES OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEXES’, AND YOUR WORLD IS CREATED ‘FOR YOU’, INSTEAD OF ‘AGAINST YOU..’.

Do you see how we have come full circle now? Your attitude is an ILLUSTRATION OF YOUR CONSCIOUS CHARACTER – THE ONE YOU WANT – SO IT IS THE BEDROCK OF YOUR REPUATION, AS YOUR CONSCIOUS CHARACTER HAS TO BE CONSISTENTLY EXTERNAL IF YOU ARE TO BE CONSCIOUS OF IT AT YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS. Right now you have NO CONSCIOUS CHARACTER, you are ALL EGO-DEFENSE, YOU ARE FLAKEY, SCARED, EVER CHANGING, 2 FACED BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD, THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO, so you have no idea let alone control over your reputation, which will be SHIT and nothing like you think it is – for a few of you it will already be associated with mental illness, instability, and emotional problems = EVERYONE CALLS YOU A LOST SOUL BEHIND YOUR BACK, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THEY RATIONALIZE ‘USING YOU FOR FUN’, WHICH MEANS TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER = ‘PARASITE’… 

TO GROW UP YOU NEED TO FIX THAT SHIT, BY FIRST KNOWING HOW TO FIX IT AND THEN WANTING TO FIX IT – BECOME CONSCIOUS OF YOUR ATTITUDE, YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF YOU IN THE 3RD PERSON, THEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A CONSCIOUS CHARACTER, A ‘QUALITY STANDARD’. YOU THEN LIVE THAT THROUGH YOU CHANGE IN YOUR EVERYDAY ATTITUDE, WHICH YOU FORCE BY YOUR CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE ON YOUR THOUGHTS/FEELING/EMOTIONS/SENSATIONS. LEARN TO SHIFT THROUGH THE GARBAGE IN YOUR MIND AS ‘OPTIONAL’, MOST OF IT IS PURE REACTIVE SHITE OF NO VALUE WHAT-SO-EVER, AND MUCH OF THAT IS ACTUALLY DANGEROUS, SELF DESTRUCTIVE.   

REMEMBER – YOU ARE WHAT THE VERY BEST AND THE VERY WORST OF WHAT YOU DID – THAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY AND SO YOUR FATE – NOT WHAT YOU’LL SAY YOU DO, THINK YOU’LL DO, IMAGINE YOU WOULD OF DONE IF YOU ONLY HAVE THE CHANCE, AS ALL OF THAT IS THE FANTASY OF A CHILD, TRYING TO COMFORT THEMSELVES WITH LIES. REMEMBER UNTIL YOU HAVE A CONSCIOUS CHARACTER, UNTIL YOU THINK WITH THAT QUALITY STANDARD VIA YOUR SELF CONSCIOUS ATTITUDE, YOUR REPUTATION YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, WITH NO CHARACTER, SIMPLY DRUFTING BETWEEN REPEATING PATTERNS OF CHILDHOOD IN ORDER TO COMFORT YOURSELF FROM A LIFE YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER, AS IT SLOWLY TERRORIZES YOU TO DEATH…

So we end the old school way, the Rinzai Zen way, as IT CAN’T BE BEATEN for the PURE, BRUTAL RUTHLESSNESS OF IT – UNTIL YOU GROW UP THERE IS NO YOU, YOU ARE A MAYFLY, DANCING IN A BREEZE UNTIL THE RAIN COMES AND KILLS YOU – ALL IS RANDOM CHANCE, RANDOM DEPENDENCIES ON OTHERS BETTER THAN YOU, SO ALL IS MEANINGLESS, HERE FOR A MOMENT AND THEN GONE FOREVER. YOU ARE A WASTE OF TIME, SITTING AROUND WAITING, WAITING, AND WAITING SOME MORE FOR SOMETHING TO REACT TO, AGAIN, LIKE A SIMPLE LITTLE CUNT. 

SO SEE IT:-

THERE IS ‘NO YOU‘ – RIGHT NOW I’M SPEAKING TO AN EMPTY SPACE SURROUNDED BY AN EGO SHELL THAT REACTS TO ‘KEY WORDS WITH OLD PATTERNS’, WITHOUT THOUGHT OR UNDERSTANDING.

YOU HAVE NO CLASS, YOU THINK LIKE AN INSECT.

YOU HAVE NO CONSEQEUNCE, YOUR DECISIONS ARE EMPTY WORDS.

SO I WANT YOU TO FAIL, TO BURN, TO LIE, TO ROT AWAY, JUST LIKE YOU ARE NOW. 

I WANT YOU TO GET WORSE AND WORSE, SICKER AND SICKER, MADDER AND MADDER, JUST LIKE YOU ARE NOW.

I WANT YOU TO BE LITTLE MORE THAN ‘A MEMORY OF YOURSELF’, FROM LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY, JUST LIKE YOU ARE NOW. 

I WANT YOU TO FIGHT CHANGE AND SIDE WITH YOUR BIG KID, WITH YOUR COMFORTING CUNT, WITH SELF TAUGHT ANXIETY, JUST LIKE YOU ARE NOW.

… SEE FOR ALL BUT A FEW, YOUR TOTAL, OBVIOUS, PUBLIC HUMILIATION IS THE ONLY CHANCE YOU HAVE. When you know, you know, AND THEN YOU CAN START, but until then I will repeat the kind, if for most of you totally pointless, platitude – I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR SHIT BEFORE YOUR SHIT FIND YOU BITCH, cause trust me, your shit is already here, politely waiting in the corner of you bedroom for a particuarly weak and vulnerable moment to SHOCK YOU AWAKE…

HOW WILL YOU SEE IT COMING? 

WHEN YOU START TO FEEL SO SECRETLY CLEVER THAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING, THE ILLEST OBSESSIONS, BUT EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS…

HOW DOES IT HAPPEN?

WHEN YOU FINALLY REMEMBER YOU HAVE ‘FORGOTTEN YOURSELF’, AND SEE IN REAL TIME THAT YOU ARE THE DUMBEST BITCH ON THE PLANET. 

BUT WHAT DO I DO THEN, WHEN MY ‘MINDSTATE BETRAYS ME’?

YOUR MINDSTATE HAS ALREADY BETRAYED YOU, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW, SO YOU WILL EITHER KNOW OR YOU WON’T, BUT TRUST ME, ANOTHER CLEVER BIT OF FUN AIN’T GOING TO HELP YA ‘MENTAL HEALTH’ THEN…

SO UNTIL THEN – GET WORSE, FAST, BURN BABY BURN, HUMILIATE YOURSELF IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY, EVERYDAY, UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT BUT THE ‘JOKE OF YOU’, THAT YOU GO TO EXTREMES IN AN ATTEMPT TO HIDE IT FROM YOURSELF WITH YET ANOTHER POINTLESS DAY OF CREEPINESS… 

‘YOU’, YOUR FAKE, CLEVER, COMFORTING ‘NO CHARACTER’ OF A CHILD, MUST ‘LOSE’…

SEE WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT ‘THE CLEVER BETRAYER’, YOU ARE ‘THE BETRAYED’.

UNTIL THEN KNOW – EVERYTHING YOU PROJECT ONTO OTHERS IF WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF YOURSELF, BITCH…  

SORRY, BUT UNTIL THEN I CAN’T DO ANYTHING MORE FOR YOU – YOU ARE A ‘BLOW UP TOY’ WITH A MECHANICAL CHARACTER THAT CANNOT THINK, AND THAT BIG KID MAKES EVERYTHING REAL ‘A BLUR’, YOU CAN’T REMEMBER SIMPLY TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE DEPTHS OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, INTERVENING IN YOUR EXISTENCE IS TOTALLY POINTLESS, SO BEST SEND YOUR ‘DEATHBED POSTCARD’ TO SOMEONE ELSE, EH.

DON’T BE COMFORTED BY THIS, CAUSE I DON’T GIVE A FUCK HUN, NONE OF US DO – YOU ONE OF MILLIONS FOR WHOM THE TIME HAS PASSED – I’M JUST HERE TO USE YOUR STORY TO HELP OTHERS, SO TRY AND KICK IT UP A NOTCH EH, YOUR BADNESS IS ALL A LITTLE TOO ‘CHEAP THRILLS’ AT THE ‘BACK OF THE SCHOOL BUS’, SO TRY FOR AN ACTUAL ‘CRIMESCENE’, AS THEN YOU GET TO GO TO PRISON? AND IF THAT DON’T WAKE YOU UP, NOTHING WILL – GO ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO, YOU ARE JUST SO SECRETLY CLEVER YOU CAN DO ANYTHING AND GET AWAY WITH IT, CAN’T YOU – YOU ARE NOT TOTALLY OBVIOUS AND TRANSPARENT AT ALL, ARE YOU, I MEAN EVERYONE KEEPS YOUR SECRETS, CAUSE YOU ARE SO HONEST, DECENT AND LOYAL…? 

See in the end, at your end, it all comes down to this:

STOP INVOLVING YOURSELF IN SOMETHING THAT IS ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU BUT YOU COULD NEVER BE, AND JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE…

YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE BUT YOU BOTTLED IT, BITCH, CAUSE YOU WERE TOO CUNNING, TOO CLEVER…

SO STOP DELUDING YOURSELF THAT THERE IS ANYONE LEFT WHO GIVES A FUCK…

SEE YOUR QUALITY, YOUR VALUE HAS GONE – YOU DESTROYED IT…

BEST KNOW THAT WHAT HAPPENS NOW IS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, IT IS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO YOURSELF – ONCE YOU NEED TO JUSTIFY YOUR ‘OBSESSIONAL BEHAVIOUR’ AS SOME FIGHT AGAINST ‘YOUR NEMISIS’, WHO TYPICALLY DOES NOT EVEN KNOW YOU ARE ALIVE, IN ORDER TO HIDE THE TRUTH FROM YOURSELF THEN THAT IS KINDA OF ‘IT’. SEE YOU THINK YOU ARE A PUSSY CAT WITH A BALL OF WOOL, HAVING FUN IN A FANTASY WORLD, BUT ONCE YOU SEEK TO JUSTIFY THE SEVERE MENTAL HEATH ISSUES THAT ARE OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU, THEN YOUR EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS HAVE ALREADY DESTROYED YOU, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT COPE ANY OTHER WAY – YOU SHOULD GO TO THE DOCTOR NOW, BEFORE THEY SEND YOU THERE IN ORDER TO KEEP YOU OUT OF PRISON.

SEE LATER WHEN YOU TURN ON AND THEN BLAME EVERYONE YOU HAVE USED TO DESTROY YOURSELF IN ORDER TO RE-INVENT WHAT HAPPENED, TO PLAY THE VICTIM, DON’T WORRY, THEY KNEW THAT ALL ALONG SO THEY HAVE ALREADY TURNED ON YOU, AS YOU ARE CLEARLY UNSTABLE. SEE NO ONE WHO HAS DESTROYED THEMSELVES OUT OF DESPERATION CAN EVER ADMIT THEY DESTROYED THEMSELVES IN ERROR, THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ALREADY DESTROYED YOURSELF – THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE TO FIND THE WIN IN ORDER TO COPE – TO BALANCE YOUR MINDSTATE OF A CHILD.  

Good luck with that, just remember to ask for the biggest pills they are allowed to give you, before reminding yourself – YOU HAVE WON BY LOOSING EVERYTHING, AND ALL FOR NOTHING IN RETURN BUT YOU OWN HUMILIATION, BUT HEY AT LEAST YOU STILL WON. So yes, you are ‘special’, you are ‘clever’, you are ‘cunning’, you are a ‘Baddie’, you are RIGHT – you will ‘take over the world tomorrow’, now go watch your shows, play your games, act YOUR PART and smoke your weed, theres a good girl, ‘everybody’ loves you, so nobody does. AND HOWEVER BAD IT GETS later KNOW THAT YES, YOU WON, SO EVERYTHING IS ‘OK’ for the next few minutes, YOU ARE NOT A TOTAL NUT JOB, YOU ARE NOT EVIL, YOU ARE NOT OUT OF CONTROL, YOU ARE ‘VERY CLEVER’, BECAUSE YOU HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT, AGAIN, and everybody believes you, likes you, and wants to BE YOU – ‘YOUR WINNING’ AND ‘THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER’.

Just add one small footnote to your baddie story for me? Now you are no longer ‘us’, so you are ‘them’, and I’m not sure you have grasped what that change means yet – ANY OBLIGATION I ONCE HAD TO ‘TOLERATE’ YOU HAS GONE, so now when the wind blows ‘the cards can fall where they wish’. When what they now call ‘THE COLD’ finds you, and starts to stay longer and longer, exhausting you, know it was ‘THE BLUR’ in your mind that destroyed your self-consciousness, you weakness and stupidity in the face of that momentary blur of FORGETTING YOURSELF, in that inability to remember THE POINT during the continual stream of moments where you were forced to destroy yourself. Once your luck has gone, once nasty, vexatious and unpleasant people surround you randomly, for no reason, out of the blue best know that your SPIRIT has gone, and prepare yourself for the rest of it.

Kinda sad really, BUT HEY, LEAST YOU HAD FUN, so you ‘won’, congratulations – WELCOME TO ‘PLANET PARASITE’, its a bit too #cringe, a bit too nasty, pathetic, and needy for US, but you are them now I guess, so your crippling anxiety will overpower you soon enough. Just try not to look down on your way down, try and keep warm, and find a good doctor, it won’t make much difference but it will give you something to do, take you mind off it. Watch out for YOUR SPIDERS, but don’t kill the little ones as it pissess the big ones off even more – eat your own body wieght of shit everyday, take all the pills you can get, the rest of your life will shortly become one long coping stratergy afterall, but best keep the things that none of you can cope with off yourself, long as you can girl. Please forget everything I’ve said, delude yourself with never stream of fantasises, pretend you are still 16y/os, remember the good times, stop looking in the mirror, text random strangers for attention, stare at screens as much as you can, stay inbed as long as you can, and buy a cat, if not several cats, as when your gift is totally gone you will need them to be able to calm yourself.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL – ALWAYS HAVE 2 OR 3 EMPTY, POINTLESS, SHORT TERMS OBSESSIONS ON THE GO AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT, ANYTHING PETTY WILL DO REALLY ,’TRENDY CAUSES’, ‘WORK HOOKUPS’, ‘CHAT GROUP SLEAZE’, ‘ONLYFANS FRIENDS’, ‘SELF HELP HOBBIES’, ‘MIRACLE HEALTH FOODS’, ‘INFLUENCER CRUSHES’, AS IT IS PROVEN BY HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DESPERATE, BRAIN DEAD ‘CONSUMERS’ TO BE THE NO1 WAY TO HIDE YOUR REALITY FROM YOURSELF, YOUR REPUTATION, YOUR FATE, WHILST BEING ANOTHER HAPPY LITTLE SLAVE WHO CAN BALANCE THEIR MINDSTATE FOR ANOTHER DAY AND SO ‘COPE’, BE ‘OK’.

WHY ARE THEY SO EFFECTIVE YOU ASK, AS YOU HAVE TRIED HUNDREDS AND THEY DON’T FUCKING WORK AT ALL? OF COURSE THEY DON’T WORK, THEY NEVER DO, CAUSE THEY ARE DESIGNED SO YOU WILL SABOTAGE ANY QUALITY THAT THEY MAY CONTAIN, BUT THE WAY THEY ACTUALLY WORK FOR POOR LITTLE OLD YOU IS IN YOUR DARKER MOMENTS YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT THIS OR THAT LOAD OF FAKE BOLLOCKS GIVES YOU HOPE THAT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE MAY YET ‘SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELF’ SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T. CLINGING TO THE NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF ‘THE MOMENTARY HOPE FOR RELIEF’ IS WHAT YOUR LIFE IS ALL ABOUT NOW, SO YOU WILL NEED A LOT MORE OF IT WHEN YOU AGE – HOWEVER MUCH YOU DESPERATELY CLING ONTO THE PERFORMANCE OF YOUTH, THE ATTENTION SEEKING OF YOUTH, BEST KNOW THE ‘ACTUAL YOUNG’ WILL ALWAYS STEAL THAT ILLUSION FROM YOU, IN THE END.

Be mindful of the money you will need to PAY FOR THE QUALITY ONCE YOURS IS LONG GONE, when all the illusions of quality start to cost more and more, which you discover you can’t afford, so turn to to corruption, online fraud, prostitution, petty crime and drug dealing. Never delude yourself you are badass, or a gangster as you need to avoid that trip at all costs – NOTHING DESTROYS THE EGO-SAFE ILLUSION OF PEOPLE QUICKER THAT BEING ONE MORE SCARED LITTLE LOWER MIDDLE CLASS PUSSY IN PRISON. Gangsters, career criminals don’t live for money, they live for POWER, money, as the saying goes is just a ‘way of keeping score’, and the only reason gangsters hoard money is so they can run and hide when they have to, as they all know they will do one day. See should you ever meet any proffesional porn stars or rich prostitues you will discover the reason they are so frantically obsessed with money, that they will do anything for even tiny sums of money, is that CASH is not just happiness or security to them as they age, ‘CASH IS SANITY’, without it they go batshit crazy real quick.

Yes, the path you have chosen is very well trodden, so best PREPARE YOURSELF FOR IT, as no one will help you for free, and later they won’t even help you for money – PRETEND TO BE GOOD FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN, cause once you are publically bad every one around you can rip you to pieces for fun, with total impunity, so they will, and probably already do. As you age you will find the trick is to do EVEN MORE of what you do now, DELUDE YOURSELF AT ALL COSTS, chase youth, chase attention, chase sex, chase extremes, chase power over others, chase money, SO YOU NEVER EVER HAVE TO FACE REALITY until the end, when the comfort of ‘the anonimity of old age’ will soften the blow a little, should you be ‘clever’ enough to get there. Forget about love, loyalty, affection, any aspect of your conscience in fact, all those things COME FROM ‘SPIRIT’, but you are one more lowlife little animal living from one cheap thrill to the next, best accept it now, as your mental health will last far longer that way. Never make enemies, run from conflict every time, as you are to weak to even say your own name with pride, always just give in and suck it up, however harmless they are, you’ll sleep better, so always remind in the midst of your drug fuelled fantasies of being powerful – you are actually a gutless cunt who is getting dumber by the day.

Lastly remember, remind yourself constantly – YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN NOW – and they are all out to get you, so always remember to throw everyone else in your life under the bus for the smallest profit, your partner, your lovers, your family, your workmates as they would do it to you, and many of them already have. There is no honor amongst animals, no class amongst the classless, it is the law of the jungle everyday for the rest of your life, and the weaker you get the further you fall down that foodchain, so be ready to LIE, DENY, CHEAT AND STEAL at a moments notice, you’ll survive a lot longer that way, so no need to bother with manners, respect, politeness, indeed class in any of its forms, as it may hurt when others laugh at your obvious pretense. MOST OF ALL CLING TO YOUR SHORT TERM OBSESSIONS, FIND THE 1 OR 2 TYPES THAT GIVE YOU THE GREATEST RELIEF FROM YOURSELF FOR THE LEAST EFFORT, LINE THEM UP EVERYDAY, CHANGE THEM CONSTANTLY, AND FOCUS ON NOTHING ELSE WHEN THE BLACK CLOUDS APPEAR IN THE NIGHT. 

Good luck, I wish you well, but never contact me again, particuarly at the end, I won’t remember you – under no circumstances INVOLVE YOURSELF IN MY LIFE, NEVER RETURN TO THIS ADVICE OR TRY AND BLAME ME FOR YOUR SITUATION, given you don’t know me at all I may react far worse and far more dramatically than you would imagine. Again, congratulations, you have won, you have destroyed your value, so best be aware your value was the only thing that kept you safe in this world. What happens to you now is all your fault, the time has passed, the window has closed, because now you are THEM – we move on to others, who will all be warned about you by name, as you think you have chosen to be ‘THE ENEMY’, but all you have actually chosen is to be ‘A VICTIM’, so others can take pleasure in VICTIMIZING YOU to ENJOY YOUR HUMILIATION, it excites them, yet you think you owe them that.

Makes you think, eh, about what will happen when it all comes out, but thats a ‘you problem’ now, just try and remember when you about to make another clever little lifestyle choice – EVERYONE HATES CREEPY LITTLE PARASITES, hell even other parasites hate parasites – THEY HATE SEEING THEMSELVES IN OTHERS, IT SCARES THEM. But it may help you in the moment of decision, AS YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE ‘PATH OF THE PARASITE’, as you slowly become one, when there is nothing else left you can do anymore…

SO…. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF THIS FINAL KINDNESS I DO FOR YOU?

MOST OF YOU CANNOT BE MOTIVATED TO CHANGE UNTIL YOU ‘MUST’ CHANGE OR GO CRAZY.

IF YOU CAN SEE THAT CRAZY IN YOURSELF NOW, THEN YOU CAN CHANGE BEFORE YOU GO BATSHIT CRAZY.

IF YOU CAN’T THEN MANY OF YOU WILL SIMPLY GO COMPLETELY CRAZY BEFORE YOU REALIZE YOU HAVE GONE CRAZY.

SO DON’T BE A ‘BOILED FROG’, DON’T JUST ‘COPE WITH YOUR INSANITY’ UNTIL THERE IS ‘NO SANITY LEFT’, CHANGE ‘THE WATER’, NOW.

THIS IS ELITISM, ‘RED IN TOOTH AND CLAW’, YOU MUST GET A GRIP ON ‘YOUR VALUE’ NOW, PRESERVE IT, OTHERWISE YOU ARE ALREADY GONE.

SEE IT NOW IN YOURSELF – YOUR ‘VALUE’, YOUR QUALITY IS ALL YOU EVER ARE, ONCE ITS GONE, SO ARE YOU, BITCH.

SO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FIX YOUR ENERGY FIRST, YOUR ENERGY IS A REFLECTION OF WHAT IS LEFT OF YOUR VALUE.

SO STOP BLOODY ‘COPING WITH YOUR OBVIOUS LOSS’, AND START CHANGING INSTEAD, NOBODY IS THAT BLOODY STUPID, ARE YOU? COPING IS A TEMPORARY RESET MECHANIM USED BY YOUR EGO-DEFENSE TO MANAGE EXTREME ANXIETY AND STOP YOU CHANGING, SO WHY NOT TRY GETTING ‘MAD’ INSTEAD, EH – HAVE YOU NOT ALREADY MADE A BIGGER ENOUGH PUBLIC TWAT OF YOURSELF FOR ONE LIFETIME?

I mean really – whos side are you on, YOU OR THEM, you all done siding with ‘those who you despise’, the weak , desperate little uglies? That what you wanna BE when you grow up..?

THIS IS ELITISM BABE, THE RULE THAT ‘RULES THE WORLD’ – EVOLUTION – SO FIGHT FOR ‘YOUR VALUE’, GIVEN YOU STILL HAVE ANY LEFT, SEE THAT YOUR ABILITY TO ‘DEFEND YOUR VALUE’ IS ALL YOUR VALUE ‘IS’, IN THE END. YOU MUST FIGHT YOUR WAY ‘OUT OF THE JUNGLE’ FIRST, AND YOU MUST GRASP WHAT THAT MEANS FOR ‘YOU’ TODAY, THIS HOUR, THIS MIN, FUCKING ‘NOW’ – THEN YOU WILL REALIZE YOU CAN NO LONGER BE ‘OLD YOU’ ANYMORE, CAUSE OLD YOU IS DESTROYING YOUR VALUE, THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF ELITISM, THAT IS WHY IT ‘WORKS’…

So for the very worse of you, the true one step from your total, EVER SO BANAL, STEREOTYPICAL damnation types, all secretly clever to the end, I’ll leave you with this little fact to toy with at your leisure – folks who have a POSITIVE EXPEREINCE OF HEARING VOICES KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT AND SAY NOTHING, WHILST FOLKS WHO HAVE A NEGATIVE EXPEREINCE OF HEARING VOICES GO TO THE DOCTOR FOR PILLS TO MAKE THEM STOP, WHICH WORK BY ‘BLOCKING THEM OUT’, AS THEY NEVER ACTUALLY GO AWAY. Which one do you want to be WHEN YOU GROW UP – to live in the comfort zone of childhood where your ego-defenses block 99% of your reality out every fucking moment SO YOU FEEL A BIT BETTER, or TO GROW UP AND LIVE A LITTLE, WHEN YOU FINALLY GET THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ‘JON SNOW’, AND YOUR LIFE OF A CHILD IS UTTERLY FUCKING WORSELESS, THE ‘EMPTY CAGE’ OF ONE MORE LITTLE ‘SLAVE ANIMAL’?

Its your choice, just try not to be so tediously scared shitless of losing your ‘Field full of Rocks’, before you know what else is out there, GIVEN YOU STILL HAVE SOME VALUE LEFT, of course. USE THAT STUPIDITY, USE THE RECOGNITION OF YOUR CONSTANT NEED TO BE CLEVER IN ORDER TO COPE WITH THAT STUPIDITY, TO FIND YOUR ‘YOU’ – THERE MUST BE A ‘YOU’ WHO CAN DECIDE AND STICK TO THAT DECISION – TO TALK TO, OTHERWISE YOU ARE LITTLE MORE THAN A VEGETABLE REPREATING PATTERN REACTION LEARNT AS A KID THAT MADE NO SENSE THEN, AND MAKE EVEN LESS NOW.

RIGHT NOW THERE IS ‘NO YOU’, SO YOU CAN’T CHANGE, YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO.

SO YOUR CONSCIOUS THOUGHT, SPEECH AND EMOTIONS IS A NEVER ENDING LOAD OF SCARED GARBAGE,

AND THERE CAN NEVER BE ‘A CONSCIOUS YOU’ UNTIL YOU GROW THE FUCK UP.  

Do you understand this simple advice I have chosen to end with, so simple its is EASY FOR YOU TO DO – INTERVENE IN YOUR PATTERN THOUGHTS BY CHANGING YOUR PERSPECTIVE, THAT PERSPECTIVE BECOMES A NEW ATTITUDE, WHICH LEADS TO A FOCUS ON A NEW EXTERNAL REPUTATION THAT REPLACES YOU INTERNAL MINDSET OF A CHILD, ALL OF WHICH, WHEN FORCED IN TIME WILL GROW YOU UP. But one last thing, so know WHERE THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY COMES FOR THE BAD FOLKS OF THIS WORLD:–

THE GREATEST TRICK YOU WILL EVER LEARN IS YOU MUST FIRST ACCEPT YOUR CIRCUMATICES BEFORE YOU CAN CHANGE THEM.

THAT MEANS YOU CANNOT DENY THEM, RESIST OR COPE VIA FANTASY, DESIRE – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THIS TOO IS PART OF IT. 

THE SHOCKING THING YOU WILL FIND WHEN YOU DO THAT IS THAT IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE ‘APPRECIATION WITHOUT TRYING’.

THE GREATEST TRUTH IS ALWAYS THE SIMPLEST ONE – YOU ARE RIGHT HERE AND IT IS RIGHT NOW, DEAL WITH IT BUT ENJOY IT.

SEE, YOU’LL BE DEAD SOON AND NONE OF THIS WILL MATTER, EVEN BE REMEBERED, SO WHY WORRY BITCH…

BUT KNOW YOUR ENEMY, KNOW WHAT SEEKS TO BELLITLE AND KILL YOU IS ‘THE BLUR’ IN YOUR MIND – THAT YOU FORGET..

SO MAYBE TRY AND LIVE IN A WAY, IN A STYLE, WITH A GAME THAT IS ACTUALLY WORTH FUCKING REMEBERING, EH…

SEE YOUR REPUTATION IS A ‘LIVE STORY’, AND YOU DON’T WANT YOUR STORY TO BE ABOUT ONE MORE BANAL, USELESS, MANICALLY DEPRESSED CUNT WHO IS DUMB AS FUCK, CLINGING ON BY HER FINGER NAILS, DO YOU. YOUR REPUTATION IS WHO YOU ARE IN REALTIME, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE, IT MATTERS WHAT YOU DO, AS WHAT YOU DO IS YOUR REPUTATION – THAT IS WHY FOLKS LIKE ME USE YOUR REPUTATION TO BRING YOU ‘BACK IN THE ROOM’ WHEN THE REST OF YOU IS LOST IN SOME SECRET FANTASY WORLD.

YOUR LIFE WHICH MEANS YOUR HISTORY EXISTS SEPARATE TO YOU, SEPARATE TO WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT, BUT IF YOU ARE TOTALLY ‘AWAY WITH THE FAIRIES’ MOST OF TIME YOU WON’T EVEN IKNOW WHAT YOU REPUTATION IS, YOU WON’T EVEN CARE, BECAUSE YOU ‘CHILDISH OPINION OF YOURSELF’ IS WHAT YOU THINK YOUR REPUTATION IS, BECAUSE YOU THINK NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE REALLY LIKE, BUT SOON YOU WILL DISCOVER EVERYONE KNOWS THAT, BECAUSE IT IS ‘WHAT YOU DO…’. 

TRY AND UNDERSTAND THIS NOW – TRY AND SEE YOURSELF FOR REAL IN TERMS OF WHO YOU ARE AS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE – TODAY IT IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE TYPE OF THINKING TO SNAP YOU OUT OF YOUR LIES, AND IT IS YOUR LIES, YOUR COMFORTING FANTASIES THAT ARE KILLING YOU. SIMPLY FIGURE OUT YOUR REPUTATION BASED ON WHAT YOU HAVE ACTUALY DONE, AND THEN DO DIFFERENT STUFF TO FIX IT, SO YOU LIKE YOUR REPUTATION, INSTEAD OF LOATH YOURSELF – PUT THAT MISSION AGAINST THE PATHETIC NEED FOR PETTY OF RELIEF OF YOUR CHILD, AND CHANGE…

ALL REAL CHANGE STARTS WITH AN EXTERNAL JUDGEMENT AS A CONTRAST OF ‘BETTER THAN’ THAN ‘OLD YOU’ – YOU NEED BETTER OPTIONS IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION, AND YOUR EXTERNAL REPUTATION IS THE EASIEST TRIP HAZARD TO PUT IN FRONT OF YOU THE CHILD AS IT POSSESS THE SAME EMOTIONAL WIEGHT YOUR CHILD USES AGAINST YOU NOW, FRAMED AS ‘SELF-CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT’, TO MAKE YOU THINK AGAINST YOU THE CHILDS SHORT, SHARP ‘URGES’ UNTIL THEY PASS.

DON’T WORRY THAT YOUR REPUTATION IS ALREADY FUCKED INTO OBLIVION, THAT IS JUST YOU THE CHILD STOPPING YOU AGAIN, DO IT ANYWAY, AND DO IT NOW. SEE TO START CHANGE, ANY AND ALL CHANGE, YOU DON’T NEED TO THINK DIFFERENTLY, YOU HAVE TO TRAIN YOURSELF TO ‘ACT DIFFERENTLY’, TO REPLACE WHAT YOU TRAINED YOURSELF TO BE AS A KID – A TRANSPARENT FUCK UP – THEN YOU CAN CHANGE, AND CHANGE FAST. SOUNDS EASY? ITS NOT , BECAUSE IT WILL TAKE A COLOSSALLAL AMOUNT OF ENERGY, FOR YOU AS A BIG KID TO PUSH PASSED YOUR FEAR, YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, AND YOU WILL FORGET YOURSELF AND REGRESS IN MINS. 

SEE THE BEAUTY OF THIS APPROACH IS SIMPLE – IN ORDER TO USE A CLASS SYSTEM TO CHANGE YOU MUST FORCE IT ON YOURSELF,

SO:-

IN ORDER TO HAVE NATURAL MANNERS, NATURAL CLASS, NATURAL STYLE, YOU MUST GROW UP.

THEN THE ‘ATTITUDE OF SUPERIORITY’ PROTECTS YOU, SO YOU DON’T NEED ‘EGO-SAFETY’. 

BUT YOU MUST ACTUALLY FEEL SUPERIOR – ‘BETTER THAN’.

THEN YOUR SUPERIORITY WILL ‘COMFORT YOU’.

SO YOU WILL ‘GROW UP’, AS YOUR ANXIETIES WILL SHRIVEL AND DIE 

Yes, there is a reason that ‘HAVE NO FEAR’ is the single most common phrase in every religious text in the world, the reason YOU HAVE TO GROW UP IN ORDER TO KNOW WHAT REAL LIFE IS ACTUALLY LIKE – YOU MUST GROW OUT OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX to HAVE ‘EXTERNAL CLASS’, INSTEAD OF INTERNAL WEAKNESS. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU CAN FORCE THAT ON YOURSELF, IF YOU TRY – THE ONLY REASON YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO GO ON BEING A CHILD IS THAT IS COMFORTS YOUR ANXIETIES, BUT WHEN YOU REPLACE THE NEED FOR THOSE COMFORTS WITH BETTER THAN, THEN YOUR INNER CHILD WILL APPEAR TO YOU AS IT IS – A NEEDY, PATHETIC THING, THAT YOU SHOULD OF KILLED YEARS AGO…

So in the immortal, if paraphrased words of Thucydides, a genuine badass of an ancient Greek general, 2500 years young that you have never even heard of, who took down the Spartans amongst many other adventures before losing it all and walking away with a coke and a smile, LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF from the BAD FOLKS OF THE WORLD, THEN RESOLVE, RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW TO STOP BEING A CREEPY LITTLE PUSSY FOR HOW EVER LONG YOU HAVE LEFT ON THIS PLANET, cause your life, YOUR STORY is not even worthy of the fucking name, is it bitch, HELL YOU THINK HIDING LIKE A CUNT IS THE BEST BET IN ALL THINGS, YET YOU PRESUME TO JUDGE ME, TO JUDGE THIS, ALL SAFE AND SOUND IN YOUR LITTLE MIDDLE CLASS SHITHOLE, as you do little more than sneer at yourself   …

SEE THIS TOTAL BASTARD KNEW WHAT THE WORD REPUTATION MEANT = SELF-RESPECT, something which all big kids sadly lack: 

‘Peace is an armistice in a war that is continuously going on.

Hope, danger’s comforter…

Character is a more certain mark of decision than oath.

Ignorance is bold and knowledge reserved.

Don’t confuse meaning with truth.

Stories happen to those who tell them.

Contempt for an assailant is best shown by bravery in action.

Speculation is carried on in safety, but, when it comes to action, fear causes failure.

Now the only sure basis of an alliance is for each party to be equally afraid of the other.

You should punish in the same manner those who commit crimes with those who accuse falsely.

Men do not rest content with parrying the attacks of a superior, but often strike the first blow to prevent the attack being made.

We know that there can never be any solid friendship between individuals, or union between communities that is worth the name, unless the parties be persuaded of each others honesty

People get into the habit of entrusting the things they desire to wishful thinking, and subjecting things they don’t desire to exhaustive thinking.

We must remember that one man is much the same as another and that he is best who is trained in the severest school.

When tremendous dangers are involved, no one can be blamed for looking to his own interest.

As for the gods, it seemed the same to worship or not; all alike perished.

I dread our own mistakes more than the enemy’s intentions.

It is a general rule of human nature that people despise those who treat them well, and look up to those who make no concessions.

One’s sense of honor is the only thing that does not grow old, and the last pleasure, when one is worn out with age, is not, as the poet said, making money, but having the respect of one’s fellow men.

Mankind are tolerant of the praises of others as long as each hearer thinks that he can do as well or nearly as well himself, but, when the speaker rises above him, jealousy is aroused and he begins to be incredulous.

Those who really deserve praise are the people who, while human enough to enjoy power, nevertheless pay more attention to justice than they are compelled to do by their situation.

I think the two things most opposed to good counsel are haste and passion; haste usually goes hand in hand with folly, passion with coarseness and narrowness of mind.

If you give way, you will instantly have to meet some greater demand, as having been frightened into obedience in the first instance; while a firm refusal will make them clearly understand that they must treat you more as equals.

It must be thoroughly understood that war is a necessity, and that the more readily we accept it, the less will be the ardor of our opponents, and that out of the greatest dangers communities and individuals acquire the greatest glory.

And it is certain that those who do not yield to their equals, who keep terms with their superiors, and are moderate towards their inferiors, on the whole succeed best.

Wars spring from unseen and generally insignificant causes, the first outbreak being often but a little explosion of anger.

Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and respect of self, in turn, is the chief element in courage = NO FEAR = SUPERIORITY.’

TOB

 

Do you understand what CLASS IS NOW? DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE NOT NOW? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A CHOICE NOW?

So get on with it – WE ARE NOT ALL EQUAL, WE NEVER HAVE BEEN AND WE NEVER WILL BE, BUT DON’T LOOK UP TO FOLKS THAT YOU AS A CHILD WILL NATURALLY RESENT FOR PROOF OF THAT, LOOK DOWN INSTEAD, LOOK AT THE TRASH WHO WILL KILL, ROB, RAPE AND TAKE EVERYTHING FROM YOU THAT INFEST THE WORLD MORE AND MORE THESE DAYS, AND KNOW THAT IS ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED.

Trust me you live in a society infested with criminality beyond anything you can imagine, SO BEST KNOW THOSE PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE ‘SHEEP TO BE SHEARED’ – THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR EQUALITY, THEY ARE NOT THE POOR, OPPRESSED MASSESS, THEY ARE NASTY LITTLE CUNTS WHO JUST WANT TO GET HIGH AND HAVE IT ALL NOW BY TAKING IT FROM YOU, UNLESS OTHER BAD MEN STOP THEM. Yes, Real Life, which means SPIRITUALITY, IS FAR DARKER THAN YOU IMAGINE, SO TO HAVE THE GIFT TO SEE IT, TO USE IT, TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM IT, is the greatest knowledge you will ever learn – BUT FIRST YOU MUST GROW UP:::::::: 

So I leave you with this PERSPECTIVE, gained after years and years of watching what happens to folks like YOU, folks who fail over and over again to stick to thier little plans of escaping this or that situation which even they known they have out-grown AS IT HAS BECOME A SUBSTANTIAL THREAT TO THIER HAPPINESS, HEALTH, SECURITY, FINANCIAL WELLBEING AND SUCCESS IN THIS LIFE, but cannot seem to move on from, SO BECOME WORSE AND WORSE FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN YOUR OWN GUTLESS, CHILDISH STUPIDITY: 

YOU MUST FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT – THAT IS YOUR CURRENT TEST, THE CHALLENGE YOU MUST ‘RISE UP’ TO MEET. 

IF YOU DON’T IT WILL KEEP HAPPENING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AND IT WILL GET HARDER WHILE YOU GET WEAKER.

FOR THE WORST IT ALWAYS INVOLVES DEALING WITH YOUR PARASITES, AS THAT IS WHAT THOSE PARASITES ARE DOING IN YOUR LIFE.

FOR THE GIFTED EVERYTHING IS A TEST, E-V-E-R-Y-F-U-C-K-I-N-G-T-H-I-N-G, AND YOU WILL NEVER GROW UP UNTIL YOU SEE THAT IN REALTIME.

SEE THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO GROW UP COMES FROM THAT CONFLICT, THAT IS THE POINT OF THAT CONFLICT BEING FORCED ON YOU.

YOU MUST PICK A FIGHT, EVEN ONE YOU DON’T THINK YOU CAN WIN, SHOW SOME GUTS, AND THEN YOU WILL HELPED…

OR YOU WILL SIMPLY CONTINUE TO DELUDE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE WINNING, WHILST SLOWLY BECOMING ‘THEM’, ONE MORE ‘PARASITE’.

SO BEST KNOW THE REASON YOU HAVE CONSTANT CONFLICT IN YOUR LIFE IS BECAUSE YOU ARE UNSCHOOLED GIFTED.

YES, HOWEVER HARD IT IS, THAT TARGET ON YOUR BACK ACTUALLY MEANS SOMETHING GOOD – ‘YOU ARE NOT THEM’, YET.

AND YES, IT IS A BRUTAL THING, BUT YOU EITHER LEARN OR BURN, THERE IS NO OTHER ‘RUNNING AWAY’ OR ‘GETTING AWAY’ WITH IT…

THIS IS WHY THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS TO YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN – THERE IS NO POINT IN RUNNING FROM IT, JUST AS TO ACCEPT IT IS AN EVEN QUICKER PATH INTO LONG TERM EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS – YOU SHOULD OF DONE IT AS A CHILD, BUT NOW HERE YOU ARE, STUCK IN A BUCKET FULL OF CRABS, GETTING WEAKER AND WEAKER BY THE BLOODY DAY. FIGHT OR BURN, its your choice, I can’t make it for you – YOU NEED THAT ENERGY TO CHANGE, simply fixing it for you will make it worse…

YEP – I don’t make these rules, I just tell you what they are – ITS EVOLUTION BABY, ITS SINK OR SWIM TIME, so what the fuck are you going to do NOW, eh – trust me the view from the bottom of that hole never gets any better, and ‘THEM’ will just get worse as their sad, drab little empty lives blur into the nothingness they were born with, SO THEY NEED ‘YOU’ MORE AND MORE. WANT TO KNOW WHY THAT IS, WHY YOU CAN’T WIN WHATEVER YOU DO, WHY YOUR LITTLE SCHEMES ARE OBVIOUS :-

YOUR WEAKNESS IS YOUR ‘INABILITY TO FIGHT’ BECAUSE OF YOUR CONSTANT ANXIETY, YOUR KIDS FAKE INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

YOUR POWER IS YOUR ‘ABILITY TO FIGHT’ BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO THE TRASH THAT SURROUNDS YOU.

SEE CONFLICT CREATES YOUR ‘FELT POWER’ – YOU MUST DO IT FIRST BEFORE YOU FEEL THAT POWER, IN ORDER TO FEEL IT LATER.

Remember this, so you never forget just how fucking pointless the ‘comforting weakness’ of making your lossess ‘cool’ is in your life – DEATH SENTENCE.

NEVER FORGET – ITS YOU OR THEM, THAT IS WHAT YOUR PRECIOUS EQUALITY BOILS DOWN TO IN THE END, ‘THE VICTIMS’ AND ‘THE VICTIMIZED’, THE POOR AND THE POORER, THE DEGREE OF YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS, THE LEVEL OF NOTHINGNESS YOU FEEL TODAY. OF COURSE, YOU CAN BE AS A KIND AS YOU LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE GROWN UP, PARTICUARLY TO OTHER GROWN UPS, BUT NOT BEFORE…

AND YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE THIS PROCESS A LOT HARDER THAN IT EVER NEEDED TO BE…

CONFLICT IS THE OXYGEN OF GROWING UP.

CONFLICT IS ‘THE TEST’ YOU FAILED AS A KID, WHEN IT WAS EASY.

BUT THAT CONFLICT TEST HAS NEVER, EVER GONE WAY, BECAUSE IT’S NEED IS ‘IN YOU’.

REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU FAIL THAT TEST AGAIN NEXT TIME, THE POINTLESS WEAKNESS OF FAILURE ‘IN YOU’.

EVOLUTION IS COMPETATIVE FOR A REASON, SO YOU MUST SEE YOU ARE LOSING TO ‘OTHERS’.

NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT KILLING PARASITES IN YOUR LIFE, THEY ALWAYS DESERVE IT 10x OVER.

THEN YOU WILL SEE THAT YOUR KID IS A PARASITE SUCKING THE BLOOD OUT OF YOUR OWN HEART.

ITS A SAD, PATHETIC THING TO WATCH BUT YOUR CURRENT LIFE IS A TESTAMENT TO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FAIL THAT TEST OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, YOU HAVE BECOME LITTLE MORE THAN ONE MORE CASH HUNGRY ‘PORTA-POTTI’ SLEEPING ON A SHIT STAINED MATTRESS IN TRASHED DUBAI APARTMENT WHILST STARING OUT THE WINDOW AT THE BRIGHTLIGHTS, AND THE LONG DROP IN ATTEMPT TO STOP CRYING WHEN THE DRINK AND DRUGS HAVE WORN OFF, AND YOU SEE, HOWEVER BRIEFLY, THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER ‘COOL’, YOU NEVER WHERE, YOU ARE A MANICALLY DESPRESSED FOOL, SURROUNDED BY CREEPY LITTLE CUNTS, WHO DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO LIE TO YOU ANYMORE…

Yet most folks can fix all the conflict in life with little more effort than it takes to ‘snap your fingers’ – FIX THAT CONFLICT IN YOURSELF, AS THAT CONFLICT WILL NEVER GET FIXED WITHOUT ‘CHALLENGING YOUR BIG KID, AND WINNING’, IT IS THE PROBLEM, NOT YOU, AS IT CREATES THAT CONFLICT, ‘THE TRAP’…

But what if you simply CAN’T DO CONFLICT, LIKE EVER – YOUR VERSION OF DOING CONFLICT IS TO SIMLY RUN-A-WAY AND HIDE, SOBBING INTO YOUR PILLOW WHILE YOU WAIT TO BE SAVED FROM YOURSELF BY THE NEXT RANDOM HOOK-UP, AND EVEN THAT JUST MAKES IT WORSE, as it make certain that your parasites will chase you, and many THINK YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE CHASED, CAUSE YOU SEEM TO ‘LIKE IT’, AS YOU SEEK ATTENTION ABOVE ALL THINGS?

Then you must find another way TO FEEL ‘SIGNIFICANT’, indeed to feel the baseline expereince that MAKES YOU WANT TO GROW UP…

BEING A CHILDISH ADULT MAKES YOU FEEL INSIGNIFICANT, ‘LESS THAN’, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW A CHILD ALWAYS FEELS…

YOU CANNOT GROW UP THAT WAY, YOU WILL FAIL EVERYTIME, AS THAT INSIGNIFICANCE WILL MAKE YOU ‘BOTTLE IT’, EVERYTIME.

ALL THE HEDONISTIC EXTREMES YOU CURRENTLY GO TO, THE ATTENTION SEEKING, THE SECRET CLEVERNESS ARE A FAKE FORM OF TEMPORARY SIGNIFICANCE, WHICH IS THE REAL REASON YOU CHASE THEM – ‘THE BUZZ’ OF WHAT YOU DON’T FEEL NORMALY, CAUSE YOU ARE BIG KID. To grow up without conflict means YOU NEED A WAY INTO THAT BUZZ WITHOUT THE ENERGY OF CONFLICT, so you must find another way to ‘evolve’…

It can be done, but it can only be done by ‘supernatural’ means, much as CONFLICT IS ALSO A SUPERANTURAL MECHANISM AT LEAST YOU UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS IN REAL TIME, but the other methods involve counter intuitive mindstates you would see as simply TOO HARD OR UNREAL FOR YOU. These things have to be forced on you by a good teacher who knows the correct one for your type AND YOU WON’T ENJOY THAT, SO YOU REALLY, REALLY SHOULD TRY CONFLICT INSTEAD…

SEE YOUR FAILURE TO DO CONFLICT IS THE ULTIMATE ILLUSTRATION OF YOU THE CHILDS DOMINANCE OVER YOU, PARTICUARLY IF YOU BECOME OVERCOME WITH PHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS OF ANXIETY AT EVEN THE THOUGHT OF CONFLICT. SEE YOUR FAILURE TO DO CONFLICT IS YOUR CONFLICT WITH CONFLICT ITSELF, SO FOR THE MOST BROKEN OF YOU THAT IS WHERE YOU START: 

YOU MUST ENGAGE IN PRIVATE, DEATH OR GLORY CONFLICT WITH YOUR REACTION TO EXTERNAL CONFLICT – YOU MUST FIGHT FEAR ITSELF.

IF YOU DO YOU WILL QUICKLY DISCOVER THAT YOUR FAILURE TO DO CONFLICT IS ALL A COMPLETE LIE – YOU HAVE BEEN CONNED INTO BEING A PUSSY. 

YOU THEN TAKE THIS KNOWLEDGE TO BUILD AGAINST ‘YOUR SELF TAUGHT LIES’, UNTIL STRONG ENOUGH TO DO ‘EXTERNAL CONFLICT’. 

THIS TO YOU WILL FEEL LIKE BUILDING YOUR ‘SELF-CONFIDENCE’, BUT NEVER FORGET YOUR LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE IS ALL A TOTAL FUCKING LIE.

SEE TO BE DEFEATED BY THE ‘ABSTRACT CONCEPT’ OF ‘FEAR OF CONFLICT’ THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING IS OBVIOUSLY A DELUSION, IS IT NOT.

SO YOU MUST FIND AWAY TO BUILD ‘YOUR SIGNIFICANCE’, AS OTHERWISE AFTER YOUR HEDONISM PASSESS, YOU WILL ONLY HAVE MONEY/NARCISSIM.

AND AFTER THAT YOU DISSOLVE INTO A DESPERATE PUDDLE OF INSIGNIFICANT PISS…  

REMEMBER – Everything you tell yourself, THAT YOUR ‘BIG KID’ TELLS ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’, is simply A LIE TO MAKE FAILURE BEARABLE, until of course, YOU STOP FAILING – DO CONFLICT, FIND A FUCKING WAY TO DO CONFLICT TO THE POINT THAT EVERYONE AROUND IS AWARE OF YOUR CONSEQEUNCE – RIGHT NOW YOU ARE A DOORMAT. YOU DON’T HAVE TO KILL THEM, YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO SHOW THEM YOU ARE PREPARED TO DESTROY THEM IF THEY DON’T GET THE FUCKING MESSAGE, AND THAT MEANS AT YOUR LEVEL TO SIMPLY START TO TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THEM, LITTLE BABY STEPS OF CONFLICT, UNTIL YOU SLOWLY GET STRONGER – TAKING THE PISS IS AN IMPLIED THREAT TO THIER REPUTATION, AND ALL LITTLE PARASITIC CUNTS OUR TERRIFIED THAT THE WORLD FINDS OUT WHAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY LIKE…

SO TRY AGAINST YOUR OWN CONFLICT, THEN DO IT ANYWAY, THEN TRY HARDER, THEN DO IT MORE AND MORE TO YOURSELF, EVEN IF YOU LOSE, THEN GET FUCKING MEAN WITH THE WORLD, CAUSE YOU HAVE FINALLY REALIZED IT IS ‘YOU’ OR ‘THEM’. Everything is easier IF YOU MAKE A JOKE OF IT AT FIRST, which is why the criminal classess often become masters of the multilayered piss take – THIER IS TREMENDOUS ENERGY IN THAT FORCED HUMOUR, EVEN WITH THE ‘IMPLIED THREAT’, so don’t underestimate this approach, for some of you it is the only place you will have the balls to start – I WAS TAUGHT IT AS A KID AND DO IT ‘RELIGOUSLY’, ALL GIFTED DO, SO IT HAS BECOME THE INFAMOUS GALLOWS HUMOUR, THE VICIOUS BLOODYMINDEDNESS THAT DEFNES US ALL…

See your insignificance is a funny thing, as it makes you rack up secrets in order to get a moments relief from the feeling OF INSIGNIFICANCE, whilst a few minutes later those secrets create even more INSIGNIFICANCE, yet you can never see that for yourself in realtime, CAUSE YOUR KID MAKES IT ALL A BLUR. SO ALWAYS REMEMBER – YOU HAVE NO SECRETS BITCH, EVERYONE KNOWS EVERTHING, so you may as well proceed on that basis anyway. YOUR EGO-SAFETY WAS ALWAYS A LIE – YOU ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY SAFE, SO TO DELUDE YOURSELF YOU ARE BY REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKES IS RETARDED.

FIND A WAY TO DO CONFLICT, AND USE IT TO SEE YOUR OWN LIES. Simply start with what you are scared shitless of, that does not involve anyone else, and do it against your instinctive reactions, over and over again, UNTIL YOU GET SOME SIGNIFICANCE OUT OF IT, then move on to bigger things. SEE IF YOU ARE GIFTED YOU HAVE A NATURAL SENSE OF SIGNIFICANCE, IT IS ONLY YOUR FORCED INFERIORITY THAT HAS ROBBED IT FROM YOU, EVEN MADE YOU WANT TO INFLICT IT ON OTHERS SO YOU DON’T FEEL IT SO BAD, WHICH IS HOW YOU ACTUALLY BECOME A PARASITE…

In the meantime remind yourself constantly – YOU ARE INSIGNIFICANT BECAUSE YOU FEEL INSIGNIFICANT:

YOU KNOW NOTHING – SO YOU MUST TAKE EXTERNAL ADVICE TO CHANGE.

YOU ARE A KID, ‘BAMBI TRYING TO ICE SKATE’, YET YOU ALWAYS FALL OVER DOING IT YOUR WAY, YOU ‘GIVE UP’ EASIER AND EASIER.

YOU CLING TO A CHILDISH PRIDE IN SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OFF, SO ITS TIME TO ADMIT THE DEFEAT OF YOURSELF INSTEAD…

ONLY WHEN YOU ADMIT THESE MISTAKES TO YOURSELF WILL YOU BE HELPED, AS BEFORE THAT THERE IS NOTHING THERE THAT CAN BE HELPED.

YES, THE REALIZED FAILURE OF YOUR EGO TO SUPPORT ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ WILL RECREATE YOU – TRUST ME, IT WORKS WAY BETTER THAN YOU DO.

SO YOU MUST LEARN TO GIVE UP ON YOUR EGO INSTEAD OF GIVING UP ON ‘TRYING’ LIKE NOW, AS WHEN YOU STOP TRYING YOU AS GOOD AS DEAD, LITTLE MORE THAN A ‘DEAD BITCH WALKING’, A ZOMBIE WHO SEEKS ‘THE SLEEP OF DAYDREAMS’ ABOVE ALL ELSE, WHO ‘LIVES IN A WORLD FORGETTING YOURSELF’, A RANDOM HELL WHERE YOU HAVE ‘NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT’, CAUSE YOU CAN ‘NO LONGER MAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT HAPPEN’ AT ALL, WHERE YOU HIDE YOUR REALITY FROM YOURSELF ON PURPOSE BECAUSE IT ALL ‘HURTS TO MUCH’.

See all parasites have lost any interest in themselves as useful, as having any quality, they know they are a fake piece of shit, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT THAT – FIXING IT AFTER IT HAPPENS IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO THE POINT THAT EVEN BASTARDS LIKE ME WOULD NOT BOTHER WITH YOU. DON’T SLEEP WALK INTO ‘BEING THAT BITCH’, ITS AN AWFUL FATE, WITH NO LOVE, NO HONOR, NO DREAMS, NO FUTURE, NO CLASS, NO FRIENDS, NO PEACE, BUT MOST OF ALL NO SELF-RESPECT – LEARN TO GIVE YOURSELF ORDERS AND MANAGE YOUR REPUTATION, INVOKE THAT NATURAL SENSE OF SELF-CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT AND USE IT TO HATE WHAT YOU THE KID HAS DONE TO YOURSELF, WHILST LEARNING TO LOVE YOUR REAL SELF INSTEAD WITHOUT TAKING YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY – YOU ARE A FUCK UP, BEST LAUGH AT YOURSELF.

In the end your gift is all you ever had, once its gone, so is your mindstate – EVERYTHING YOU THINK COMPENSATES YOU FOR THAT LOSS IS A CHILDLIKE ILLUSION, as everyone instinctly hates someone naturally BETTER THAN THEM, but who has chosen to give it a way for an easier life – YOU ARE CLEARLY A GUTLESS CUNT UNWORTHY OF YOUR GFIT THAT OTHERS WOULD ONCE HAVE KILLED YOU FOR HALF THAT CHANCE, WHICH IS WHY THEY HAVE DESTROYED YOU, why GIFTED can never really be friends with animals…

NEVER FORGET THAT AS A CHILD YOUR NO1 PROBLEM IS YOUR COWARDICE.

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS A REACTION TO AND A HIDEAWAY FROM THAT COWARDICE.

ALL THE CHALLENGES AND PARASITES IN YOUR LIFE ARE SENT TO CURE YOU OF THAT COWARDICE.

YOUR EGO, YOUR CURRENT UNCONSCIOUS FAKE CHARACTER IS BUILT ON EGO-SAFETY WHICH IS COWARDICE.

YOU HAVE BEEN CONNED INTO THINKING COWARDICE IS GOOD, SO YOU ATTACK ANYTHING THAT ATTACKS YOUR COWARDICE.

YOU MUST FIND THE BOTTLE TO GET OUT OF YOUR ‘COMFORT ZONE’, BEFORE THAT COMFORT OF COWARDICE KILLS YOU.

The rest of this post is based on helping you see that VERY CLEARLY, HOPEFULLY BEFORE THE WORLD CRUSHES YOUR SECRETS UNDERFOOT AND YOUR WHOLE LIFE GOES TO SHIT. Nobody, including me, TRUSTS COWARDS, CAUSE YOU CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED, YOU HAVE NO HONOR, NO VALUE, NO CLASS, NO STYLE, NO POWER, NO ENERGY, NO LOVE,  NO LOYALTY, NO SELF RESPECT… HELL YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A SENSE OF SELF, CAUSE YOU LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD BASED ON MAKING IT ALL ‘FEEL SAFE’ FOR A MOMENT, BUT YOUR ANXIETY IS NEVER GOING TO LET THAT REST…

Its not ok, it never was, and it never will be WHILST YOU REMAIN A CHILD, BECAUSE YOU ARE CREEPY FREAKSHOW EXISITNG ON SOME LEVEL OF THE MENTAL HEALTH SPECTRUM JUST TRYING TO FEEL A BIT BETTER, LIKE ONE MORE GUTLESS CUNT. You can’t even speak to the folk you are obsessed with, CAN YOU BITCH, cause you are COWARD, yet even knowing that you can’t change can ya…

Want me to help you with that? CAUSE I CAN CHANGE YOU REAL FAST, just not sure you’ll like it, mind, but REALLY, do you not find you constant mental health issues JUST SO FUCKING BORING NOW, like your a stupid little kid who has no idea what they have got themselves into, or understand whatelse is going on, ALL OF WHICH IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU..?

I know I do, so maybe its time you found out too, eh – ITS TIME TO ‘NUT UP OR FUCK OFF’, as every now and again I think its a good idea to have a little cull of my fan club, see whats worth keeping and what ain’t. Not that I keep track of all the various tranches of said clubs, there are too many, too many different types, too much cross polination, but ‘others’ amongst you do, the ‘good ones’ who have already crossed the line but know how to keep their mouths shut, and so its seems that 2 or 3 of the better but now very weak and very foolish ones amongst you appear to be suffering, appear ‘manic’ or out of control, or appear to slipping away into a shadow state you don’t understand, as your bucket full of crabs is destroying you…

So quite apart from the fact you all seem to loathe each other, blackmail each other, sell out and stab each other in the back, I’m informed that an intervention has become inevitable, as to continue turning a blind eye to some of you would just be cruel, and thats not the gifted way, unless of course you are a already disgusting parasite in which case you are brain dead anyway so it don’t matter what happens to you. In the unlikely event that being one of the better ones relates to you or your tranche, try and have some class, some grace, and know that you are well passed ‘deny, deny, deny’ now, and make the most of it, HOWEVER TERRIFIED YOU ARE OF ME, OF YOUR OWN SHADOW, its a just a phase you have to go through, if you can, JUST KNOW THAT THE PHASE OF YOU THINKING YOU ARE IN CONTROL HAS ENDED.

Its all ‘your story’, not mine – FOLK LIKE ME, SCHOOLED IN EVOLUTION, DESPISE ‘MEDICAL LEVEL’ INVENTIONS – as its all happened a 100 times before and many of you should burn up, as that is the choice you have made – TRY AND ACTUALLY HAVE THE BALLS TO HAVE A STORY YOU CAN SAY OUT LOUD, eh. If this scares you thats a good thing as fear is all the truly weak among you have got to work with, but sadly that tends to mean you need a lesson in ‘manners’ first. See I really don’t care about your mental health, but you should, as its got way worse than even a creepy, classless, craven little STALKER like you thinks it is, and you may yet need it as YOUR LAST LINE OF DEFENSE…

Anyway, CHANGE IS COMING little people, and frankly I won’t like it anymore than you will much as I’ll forget you soon enough, as thats is how this SHIT works, HOW IT HAS ALWAYS WORKED, long before your time. But humour me for a moment – DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW MUCH SOME OF THOSE INNOCENT, FREINDLY LOOKING FOLKS AROUND YOU ACTUALLY HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS, and I mean literally wish you dead? Ahhh, you thought that was me, you thought you actually knew what is happening to you? Schoolgirl error, I’m afraid – ALL PART OF THE EMPTY POINTLESS DELUSIONAL OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’.  

So go on, just for a laugh like, GO STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF YOUR SOOOOOO SECRETLY CLEVER YOUR AN ACTUAL EVIL GENIUS, AND TOMORROW ‘YOU WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD’, cause thats what creepy little fantasists like you do, I’m told, AND IF THAT IS YOUR STORY THEN BEST GET ON AND ‘LIVE IT’ I GUESS, let the cards fall where they may. You have quite the audience now, and you don’t want to bore us all to death, do you, SO MAYBE THERE IS A POINT TO YOU AFTERALL, if only you knew what it was eh. LETS HOPE YOU STILL HAVE A ‘SENSE OF HUMOUR’ as you clearly DON’T KNOW A damn THING – I’ve had some MAD stalkers in my time but have to say, I’m impressed…

Now, TELL ME HONESTLY, you do have a really good VICTIM story READY now for us all, don’t ya, ONE WHERE YOU ARE NOT A JUST GUTLESS CUNT SCARED OF YOUR OWN SHADOW? Well maybe work on something then, AS THEY ARE GOING TO NEED IT FOR THE NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY – wonder who they will get to play you eh?  Or… do you think you have HUMILIATED YOURSELF ENOUGH YET, DO YOU THINK YOUR CURRENT LEVEL OF WALKING TALKING FUCK UP MERITS THE DEFINITION OF TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF EVERYTHING THAT WAS ONCE VALUABLE ABOUT YOU?? Has your EGO finally betrayed you to the point you can actually hear it laughing, (which does happen to some folk), just try not to laugh along with it, as then you will need a crash course in mental health law, with the key defining term being ‘SECTIONED’.

Ahhh, but the real question is WHAT IS LEFT now in this ‘SHADOW SELF’ OF WHAT YOU ONCE WERE, what tiny fraction of what you WERE BORN WITH is still hiding under the drugs you need to function everyday, I mean just how fucking ‘COLD’ will this coming winter feel in the now very yellow marrow of your bones – THAT IS THE QUESTION cause right now that is the only fucking thing that still matters about you, all else is already gone, as you destroyed it…

SO CAN YOU FACE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE TOTALLY LOST YET… OR DO YOU NEED TO LOSE SOME MORE?

Over the years I noticed that the percentages can look like random chance, so a question of upbringing or education or even just your ability to ‘streetfight’ when all looks lost and broken, but honestly in the background it is always your spirit that saves you given anything does – when ‘your abyss looks back at you’ for most there is only the echo chamber of a child, yet for some there is something else left, to tell your abyss to go fuck itself cause your not quite dead, yet. Amazing thing when it happens, when something ‘other’ cuts through the pain, gets you back up, makes you smile, cause then you know, ALL OF THIS IS TRUE. 

But you don’t know shit do ya, you still think your clever AS IT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN COPE, despite it all staring you in the face, so take a moment now to ‘wonder’ how ‘it’ will happen for you, eh, and then start praying that it ever fucking does – YOU GET THE POINT NOW, I DON’T NEED TO FIND YET ANOTHER COLOUR OF CRAYON TO WRITE THE EXACT SAME MESSAGE AGAIN, DO I? See all folk like me can ever do is TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR SHIT FINALLY FINDS YOU, but every now again I must confess THAT WE KNOW WE HAVE TO BECOME YOUR SHIT, TO FORCE IT ON YOU, ‘EARLY’, given the odd one of you that is actually worth that kind of effort. Just be very, very clear that YOUR SHIT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS ‘NOW’, it will become way worse than that IF YOU DON’T CHANGE ‘NOW’ – DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

So however cold it appears to you, know – YOUR SHIT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, BUT YOUR CHILD IS KEEPING IT FROM YOU BEHIND A WALL OF DELUSION, and sooner or later that MENTAL breakwater will fail – THE TIDE OF YOUR SHIT WILL OVERWHELM YOU. Once YOU can see your own future in that shit, ONCE YOU KNOW TO COPE WITH ‘TODAYS SHIT’ SIMPLY ‘SEALS YOUR FATE’, THEN YOU KNOW THE SHIT YOU CAN STILL COPE WITH NOW MUST BE USED ‘TO GROW UP NOW’, BEFORE YOU CAN’T COPE LATER, cause you won’t be able to after your peace of mind has gone – THAT WILL MEAN YOU MUST DO CONFLICT, AS THIS IS ‘YOUR MESS’ so you need to fix it, CAUSE THE ENERGY IN THAT MESS IS THE ONLY CHANCE YOU HAVE.

SURELY THIS IS SIMPLE ENOUGH, NOW EH? I don’t mean to LAB-RAT you, but try and understand the banal joke of your current condition has no value to us, you are little more than a ‘fuck-puppet’, than lower middle class cannon fodder doing what lower middle class cannon fodder does in order to cope with BEING A CHILDISH FUCK UP. There are milions of you, deluding yourself in order to cope with your creepy nothingness, with your formulaic, lower quality bullshit, all your stupid pointless opinions, WHILST YOUR REAL LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT YOU…

You gotta ‘LOVE EVOLUTION’, EH..? Well.. you would if you ever bothered to engage in the process of having a goal, I guess, BUT HEY, DON’T WORRY, ‘YOU COOL’ YOU CLEVER, EVERYONE LIKES YOU, AND YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE FOREVER YOUNG, are you not – YOU ARE FUCK UP. SO YOUR ONLY GOAL IS TO GROW UP, AND BEFORE YOU HAVE DONE IT NOTHING ELSE, AT ALL, EVER, ‘MATTERS’, cause nothing in your tedious little existence is REAL, BECAUSE YOU DON’T ACTUALLY EXIST AS AN INDIVIDUAL WHO DECIDES, YOU ARE A ‘CRAWLING INSECT’, ONE OF A SWARM OF SUCH INSECTS, SO YOU ARE ‘OBVIOUS’…

So we finish this section with more of the same, one last time – I’ve already said it a 100 times, but who knows, perhaps this time you will get it :-

• YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS BASED ON YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, TO FEEL ‘INSIGNIFICANT’, WHICH IS TOTALLY FAKE, UN-NATURAL.
• BUT YOU ARE UNAWARE OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, BECAUSE ITS NORMAL FOR A CHILD, SO ‘SIGNIFICANCE’ IS NOT NORMAL FOR YOU.
• I AM TRYING TO MAKE YOU AWARE OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE TO CHANGE, WHILST YOU STILL HAVE SOME ENERGY.
• BUT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE TO SUPERIORITY, AND USE YOUR REMAINING ENERGY TO GROW THE FUCK UP INSTEAD OF COMFORTING YOURSELF.
• THEN YOU WILL NO LONGER NEED TO COMFORT YOURSELF AS YOUR COMFORTS DON’T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT MAKE YOU WEAKER AND DUMBER.
• SUPERIORITY DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SUPERIOR IN ANYWAY RIGHT NOW, ITS MEANS YOU STOP FEELING INFERIOIR AND START ‘DECIDING’.
• THEN YOU CAN START TO BE GOAL ORIENTATED, INSTEAD OF DOMNATED BY THE PROCESS OREINTATION OF A CHILD, AS THAT IS WHAT DECIDING IS.
• YOU CAN START TO THINK VIA CONSCIOUS ORDERS, INSTEAD OF THINKING BY HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ‘ORDERS OF OTHERS’ LIKE A CHILD.
• WHEN YOU NO LONGER FEEL INFERIOIR, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE TRAPPED BY THE SELF-INFLICTED ANXIETY OF A CHILD AS ‘SOMETHING TO DO’.
• THEN YOU WILL NO LONGER WANT TO LIVE IN THE NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF SLAVERY TO FEAR, DESIRE, AND BOREDOM, AS ITS FEELS ‘PATHETIC’.

AND IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE – YOU HAVE ‘NO CHARACTER’, ‘NO YOU’, ‘NO INDIVIDUALITY’, ‘NO POINT’, THAT IS WHY NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU, NO ONE HELPS YOU, NO ONE STOPS YOU, NO ONE EVEN NOTICES YOU ARE ALIVE OUTSIDE OF YOUR UTILITY. Its a odd thing, being a grown up child when you look back at it – WHEN YOU SEE THE WASTE OF IT, THE HORROR OF THE TIME YOU HAVE WASTED ON YOUR PETTY ANXIETIES/PETTY DESIRES THAT WENT NOWHERE, AND NOW YOUR ENERGY AND SO YOUR TIME HAS PASSED.

Strange then that the majority of even the best of you will need to taste your own TOTAL HUMILIATION AND FAILURE before you can even TRY AND CHANGE, don’t you think? But after a while, when you have seen what happens over and over again IT CEASES TO BE FUNNY, and all the ‘para-social fantasies’ that freaks like you live out on line, tapping away manically into your little chat groups, pretending to be nothing like they actually are in reality become deeply repellant, particuarly for the badder amongst us, who have done this shit for real. So do understand – right now you don’t want to change even though you could, because change means admitting the delusional embarrassment you have become, by robbing you of your delusional online fantasy world where you think you are ‘a baddie’ while managing to ignore the fact that the folks on there have already sold you out, but later, when you are desperate to change but no longer can, THERE WILL BE NOTHING FOR FOLK LIKE ME TO SAY BUT – ‘sorry, but hey we told ya…’.

Its no comfort to anyone of course, least of all us, but you would be amazed just how often it happens, and so why some of us try as hard as we do, no matter what the odds, or reception from you, the rather desperate little ‘cool kids’, who are neither kids nor cool, living out your creepy fantasy like its a computer game… Should you care to wonder, in your more lucid moments, WHY ALL OF THIS BLOG EXISTS, when there is no money, no thanks, no fame, and frankly very little chance, then now you know bitch. So do me a favour please, WHEN YOUR END STAGE COMES – DON’T SEND ME A FUCKING POSTCARD, as it will be thrown in the bin, with all the rest, cause I will have no desire to remember what you once were, long ago.

So here is the most BASIC ADVICE OF ALL, GROWING UP 101 – bring your destiny into the now and change it before it comes true – HAVE SOME GOALS, BECAUSE THOSE FUTURE GOALS WILL REACH BACK IN TIME AND CHANGE YOUR NOW. You do not need to be at the end before YOUR START, YOU DO NOT NEED TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU START, YOU DO NOT EVEN NEED TO BE CONFIDENT BEFORE YOU START, YOU JUST NEED TO START! 

TO START YOU MUST CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT ‘CHANGE AS A GOAL’, OTHERWISE ITS JUST ‘A HANGOVER’.

CHANGING THE WAY YOU THINK STARTS WITH CHANGING YOUR ‘ATTITUDE TO THINKING’ AND LATER ALL ELSE. 

THINKING WITH THE ATTITUDE OF SUPERIORITY IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT TO YOUR CURRENT INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

AND THE QUICKEST WAY, THE CHILDISH WAY, THE ANIMAL WAY IS TO PRACTICE ‘HAVING CONTEMPT FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS LESS THAN YOU’…  

Its always comes down to your attitude and your energy, in the end, AND NO MATTER HOW BROKEN AND EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED YOU ARE MOST GIFTED WILL STILL HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENERGY OF ‘SURVIVAL’ – CONTEMPT FOR EVERYTHING ‘LESS THAN YOU‘, SO USE IT! Yes, however nasty you think this is, KNOW THAT ‘THE BURNING CONTEMPT’ FOR YOUR ENEMIES, YOUR HATERS HAS GOT MORE HALF DEAD FOLKS UP AND OUT OF THEIR ‘EARLY GRAVES’ IN THIS LIFE THAN JUST ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE, AS THAT IS WHAT IT IS FOR.

So don’t be sniffy eh, its a natural process sent to protect you, OFTEN BY YOUR VERY SPIRIT AT THE END, SO YOU ALREADY PROBABLY DO IT WITHOUT ANY UNDERSTANDING, or at least used to once upon a time when all else had failed. SO DO IT MORE, DO IT NOW, as now you understand WHAT ITS FOR – TO SEPARATE ‘US’ FROM ‘THEM’, in your mind AND SO NO LONGER WANT TO ‘BE THEM’, ‘FEAR THEM’, ‘PLEASE THEM’, ‘BE AROUND THEM’, ‘CHAT TO THEM’, ‘LOOK LIKE THEM’, ‘ACT LIKE THEM’, ‘BE SHIT LIKE THEM’, ANY-FUCKING-MORE. Then you will find having CONTEMPT FOR YOUR OWN WEAKNESS COMES VERY EASILY, as a logical next step, cause YOUR SPIRIT will force it on you, SHOULD YOU HAVE ONE…

I NEVER MET A SINGLE GIFTED SOUL, NO MATTER HOW BROKEN, HOW EXHAUSTED, HOW OLD, HOW STUPID, HOW TOXIC, who could not DO ‘SPIRITUAL LEVEL CONTEMPT’, and SO FIND SOME ‘COMFORT OF SUPERIORITY’ IN IT. And that is all you really need to GET STARTED, as then YOU WILL KNOW ‘HOW TO START’, as a ‘BETTER THAN FEELING’! Yes, not all spiritual level emotions are nice, kind or considerate of others, SOME ARE DESIGNED TO ‘KEEP YOU ALIVE’, by CHANGING YOUR ATTITUDE TO LIFE ITSELF.

Animals can’t do the long, slow, deep, powerful emotion of ‘contempt’ (often a reflection of spirited shame regarding what has been done to you), THE FEELING THAT BUILDS YOUR ENERGY, animals just get ‘angry out of fear’, which makes you even weaker, SO KNOW THE BLESSING OF CONTEMPT IS THAT IT STRENGTHENS YOU, and MAKES YOU ‘BETTER THAN’ that CREEPY trash, already. See, like all spiritual emotions – CONTEMPT IS A MESSAGE – YOU DON’T EXPRESS CONTEMPT, YOU SIT WITH IT AND LET IS GUIDE YOUR ACTIONS. Contempt is your friend, trying to help you DO CONFLICT, the PASSIVITY OF EQUALITY IS YOUR ENEMY, trying to weaken you, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU, humiliate you. Your GIFTED Manners are only for other folk who already have those same manners NATURALLY, animals don’t, ANIMALS JUST SEE YOUR WEAKNESS, YOUR VULNERABILITY, and it excites them, cause they are animals, simple organic robots controlled by rise and fall of chemicals in thier blood, and programmed to be slaves to themselves. BUT YOU ARE NOT…

‘Why have I waited until now to tell you this INSTANTLY RECOGNISABLE GUIDANCE, amongst so much other vague ABSTRACTION’? you chunner… Because I’m told some of ya need to hear it, AS YOU HAVE NOT MANAGED TO WORK OUT THE ESSENTIAL TRUTH BEHIND THE STYLE THIS WHOLE BLOODY POST IS WRITTEN IN – SUPERIORITY IS THE ‘ATTITUDE THAT PROTECTS YOU’ ENOUGH TO FUCKING START, AS IT REPLACES YOUR ‘OLD COMFORTS’ THAT STOP YOU STARTING.

And STARTING ‘NOW’ IS THE ONLY FUCKING THING THAT MATTERS, otherwise all of this is just a POINTLESS exercise in ‘RESENTING CRITICISM’. See this gets you ‘in the room’, and to help yourself you need to be in the same room as yourself, then much, much more will start to come the natural way it should do, for you. This stuff is hardwired into your biology, your societies ignorance of it is not your fault, BUT IT IS NOW YOUR PROBLEM TO FIX – you have traded away your value, so now you must get it back simply because of stupid patterns you picked up as kid, BUT NOTHING IS FOREVER, AND EVERYONE DIES OF SOMETHING.

SO WHAT ‘DA HELL’ ARE YOU WAITING FOR? – GROW UP, NOW, have you learnt nothing from your life of pointless, random chaos – YOU ARE LOSING EVERY MIN, ALL THE TIME, LITTLE BY LITTLE, TO OTHERS WHO DESPISE YOUR STUPIDITY, YOUR GULLIBILITY, YOUR WEAKNESS – SO ‘DO CONFLICT’. See many of you can’t grow up until you get out of the shitshow that is stopping you growing up, YOUR BUCKET FULL OF CRABS, so know that no one cares how you do that, nobody judges what you have to do to survive that, NO ONE CARES THAT YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR MIND, NO ONE BLAMES YOU, just as long as you actually do it. Your life is a FEVER DREAM MADE UP OF EMPTY ‘PATTERN REACTIONS OF DISSIPATION’ WHOS SOLE PURPOSE IS TO GET YOU TO REPEAT THEM UNTIL DEATH, YOU HAVE NEVER MADE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE IN YOUR WHOLE EXISTENCE, SO MAKE ONE NOW…

See what CONTEMPT actually means as a day to day REALITY is to realize YOU ARE A VICTIM, and you must decide to stop being a victim FIRST, WHICH MEANS YOU MUST LEARN TO VICTIMIZE THOSE WHO HAVE VICTIMIZED YOU, OUT OF CONTEMPT FOR THEM, as it will be way easier when you do – YOU WON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM ANYMORE. Many of us have had to come this route because of issues in our past, and if anything it is one of the HIGHER ‘MARKS OF HONOR AND RESPECT’ THAT WILL BE DUE TO YOU, when you have done it…

You don’t have to KILL PEOPLE, you just have to STOP PEOPLE KILLING YOU, and if that ‘stopping’ then KILLS THEM, so be it. You won’t understand this until you try and do it, because you don’t understand what your ‘value is to them’ yet, but you will do when you see what it does to them, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT A STALKER, A PARASITE ‘IS’ SPIRITUALITY SPEAKING, so you will understand ‘evil’, however petty, because you will see THE GRUBBY TRUTH OF IT.

And THEN YOU WILL BELIEVE, but first, DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR – go look in the mirror, as YOU MAY FIND THE PARA-SOCIAL FANTASY LIFE THAT COMFORTS YOUR UGLINESS, YOUR SUPERHERO ONLINE GAMING PERSONA, YOUR BIZARRE LITTLE FREAKSHOW FULL OF ACCOUNTANTS AND IT DORKS, IS ACTUALLY QUITE SOME DISTANCE FROM ‘YOUR UGLY TRUTH’, no matter what ‘broken laws’ YOU STILL THINK YOU HAVE GOT AWAY WITH…

FIND A WAY TO DO CONFLICT, START NOW – YOU NEED THE ENERGY. 

SO RELEARN YOUR NATURAL CONTEMPT FOR EVERYTHING LESS THAN YOU.

USE THAT CONTEMPT TO MOCK THE UGLY, NEEDY WEAKNESS IN OTHERS AND THEN YOURSELF – TO FEEL SIGNIFICANT.

GET STRONGER, GET MEANER, SEPARATE YOURSELF, GO AGAINST THE NEED TO CLEVE TO RANDOM TRASH OUT OF LAZINESS. 

HOLD ONTO THAT CONTEMPT AS A MINDSTATE, SO IT BECOMES A BASIC ‘ATTITUDE OF SUPERIORITY’ YOU MUST MAKE TRUE BY CHANGING NOW.

THEN USE IT TO ‘JUDGE’, THEN ACT FROM THAT JUDGEMENT, WHATEVER THE HELL YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE KID TELLS YOU TO DO OUT OF WEAKNESS.

CONTEMPT IS A COMPETITION, A RACE TO ‘THE TOP’ OF THE MOUNTAIN, INSTEAD OF THE CLIFF EDGE YOU DON’T SEE AND SO DANCE BLINDLY ALONG NOW.

This is what you should of done as kid, so its your fault you have to do it now, when it goes aganst your ‘mechanical conditioning’ so feels awkward, but with practice you will find it comes real easy AS ITS ALREADY THERE, part of your GIFTED biology – TRY NOT TO BE HARMLESS LITTLE VICTIM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, as that is what is hiding under the comfort of your ‘cool’. THIS IS HOW YOU ‘HIT RESET’, and start that same level again, and for the weakest amongst you, living out the same horor show of self taught anxiety day in and day out with NO ENERGY TO CHANGE, it is all you have left, AS YOU ARE TOO INVESTED IN YOUR CHEESY LITTLE MESS TO THINK YOUR WAY OUT, so you must fight without actually fighting, at the start…

OTHERWISE YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE BRUTAL SHOCKS THAT WILL MOST LIKELY KILL YOU ANYWAY. So sing along with me, to my favourite line in the infamous ‘come back’ song of Johnny C (RIP), first sung and recorded live to a room full of thieves, drug addicts, child molesters, rapists and murders in San Quetin Prison, SF Bay in 1969, where even now just shy of 600 of them are awaiting ‘death by lethal injection’ – ‘I grew up quick and I grew up mean, my fist got hard and my wits got keen’ – whilst feeling THE GUTLESS LITTLE NOTHING YOU ARE RIGHT NOW in your very soul, by comparison, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DO CONFLICT.

And you thought ‘your society’ was GOOD, eh…?  Nope, even your GIFT is not good WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE IT OUT OF COWARDICE – IT IS YOUR GIFT THAT FILLS YOUR LIFE FULL OF CONFLICT AND POINTLESS DRAMA, YOUR GIFT WHO FORCES THAT ENERGY ON YOU IN ORDER TO GROW UP, BUT IT’S ‘YOU THE STUPID LITTLE CHILD’ WHO CHOOSES TO FUCKING BOTTLE IT EVERY TIME! So as the saying goes bitches – IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT IT IS YOUR PROBLEM, AND THE TARGET ON YOUR BACK WILL BE THERE FOREVER UNLESS YOU GROW UP AND DEAL WITH IT, NOW – WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WE STILL TRY AND HELP YOU, AFTER EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE, EH??? IT IS BECAUSE WE SYMPHAZISE WITH ‘YOUR PLIGHT’ FROM OUR OWN EXPEREINCE …

The enemy of your enemy is not your friend little girl, they are your ‘competition’, and they know that, that is why they seek to ‘beat you’, which is how we know they are the scum of the earth – AND YES, I KNOW, THIS IS SUPER FUCKING BASIC AND SUPER FUCKING DANGEROUS, BUT HEY, YOU ARE ALREADY EXHAUSTED, SO THIS POSITIVE ASPECT OF YOUR CHIDLISH ANIMAL BIOLOGY, WHAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY BORN WITH, IS WHAT YOU CAN STILL ‘DO’. So this is WHAT IS ‘RIGHT’ FOR YOU, BECAUSE ITS ALL THATS ‘LEFT’…

And it works… BUT ‘WHAT ABOUT THE RISKS?!?!’… this is hardcore LEFT HAND PATH STUFF, you have to tell them the risks!’ as some of my confederates politley insist. No I fucking don’t, see you-are-bouncing-along-the-bottom-of-a-creepy,-never-ending-shitshow-full-of-repulsive-PHYSCO-sexual-‘kiddy-fiddlers’, its NAUSEATING, and in comparison to that THIS SHIT IS HARMLESS. Just watch out for the tendency for the ‘monsterous over correction of past mistakes’ after you have got into it, and move on from it asap when you CAN DO CONFLICT SO EASILY YOU FIND YOURSELF LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, but do actually DO IT first, eh – YOU HAVE ALREADY INFESTED YOUR LIFE WITH RISKS, A FEW MORE WON’T MATTER ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. At this time you need a LIFELINE YOU ALREADY UNDERSTAND, not a classroom lecture on some stale risk/benefit analysis IN ‘ABSTRACT TERMS’, that will only work when you are grown up, AS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU SEE IT IN THE FUTURE, ‘YOU NEED SOMETHING NOW’.

Yep, apparently for some of you now ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN THE ‘LOST SOULS’ you have become, the banal petty evil you have descended too, plus your spirit will protect you when the time comes for the rest of it, should you succeed. If you don’t succeed then it don’t matter anyway, cause nothing will – your fate will find you whatever you do to mitigate it, so lets hope that is still ‘tomorrow’. Just try and get your head around THE TRUTH – YOU THINK YOU ARE DAMNED BY WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU KNEW NO BETTER, but you are only actually DAMNED BY YOUR FEAR OF THEM, IN REALITY ‘YOUR COMPETITION’, WHO HAD ALREADY LOST, AND BECOME ‘DOGS-IN-A-MANAGER’, the most hated of all parasites, as hopefully it is now, slowly, starting to dawn on you just what the fuck has actually happened to you, WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENED TO US ALL, ONCE UPON A TIME…

This approach of ours is not GOOD, MORAL, it is simply PAYING FORWARD THE FAVOUR THAT WAS ONCE DONE FOR ME, so understand that is EVERYTHING AND NOTHING – IT IS WHAT FOLKS LIKE ME CALL ‘DECENT’, but you still have to PROVE YOURSELF BY DOING IT. Yes, of course, THE LEFT-HAND path is spirituality for ‘bad people’, but you should read that more as ‘real people’, who have had to deal with the same sad shit, THAT TARGET ON OUR BACKS, that you do, through no fault of their own, right now – IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY UNLESS YOU DO.     

So take a moment now to see passed your own mistakes in thought and action – SEE YOUR OWN VICTIMIZATION, see how your weakness and desperation have been used against you, TO TRAP YOU IN A SHITSHOW YOU HAVE OUTGROWN BY YOUR ENEMIES, simply because your big kid told you it was ‘cool’. See every little cunt LIKES TO THINK THEY ARE A GANGSTER UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY MEET ONE – THE ONLY WAY TO STOP BEING ‘A VICTIM’ IS TO RETURN THE FAVOUR AND ‘VICTIMIZE YOUR VICTIMIZERS’. So wipe the slate, start again, like none of this ever happened, BECAUSE IT DID NOT HAPPEN TO YOU, IT HAPPENED TO A BIG STUPID KID, that you only vaguely remember now, and then deal with what’s left of your shitshow, harshly, OUT OF CONTEMPT.

I know it will be hard for you, but once you understand you have become a VICTIM, instead of one of the cool kids, then CONTEMPT WILL COME NATURALLY, both for THEM, and for your own stupidity AS A CHILD, THAT IS WHY THIS APPROACH WORKS. If you choose to cling onto thinking you are one of the cool kids, EVEN WITH ALL THE EVIDENCE BEFORE YOU VERY EYES, and choose to convince yourself that this is what you wanted, then there is nothing further I or anyone else can do for you, as you have already become a vegetable. DECIDE NOW HOW YOU WANT TO REMEMBER WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU ON THE BASIS OF WHAT IS USEFUL GOING FORWARD, what you think you remember is bollocks anyway so it don’t matter – YOU ARE GIFTED IN THE JUNGLE, YOU EITHER DO CONFLICT OR CONFLICT IS DONE TO YOU, you don’t get to pick the third option until you GROW UP…

See if you can do this simple exercise THEN YOU CAN ‘EVOLVE’ OUT OF YOUR SHITSHOW, you ‘lose your taste for it’ as you ‘develop other tastes’, but if you can’t then its just going to get worse, as your sense of gifted taste completely disapppears and you are left WITH NOTHING THAT WORKS ANYMORE, as even the drugs will stop feeling good, or so I’m told…

To butcher the classic words of Zeno:

YOU ONLY HAVE 2 LIVES…

AND THE 2ND ONE, THE REAL ONE, ONLY BEGINS WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE, LEFT…

All pretty clear eh, yet you, sitting there, reading this will still need to be SCARED INTO IT – to be more scared of NOT GROWING UP than TRYING TO GROW UP, as a Kid ‘IS’ its conditioning, so you have no strength to stand against the repetative, persistent illusion of it, of feeling ‘ok again’ with the status quo for a few moments. Thats why we calm your fears and let you wait, then wait some more, as its kinda interesting to see how hot that water needs to get before your ‘boiled frog’ can no longer breath, and that illusion finally ends – that is what anxiety finally does to you.

But honestly I really don’t think its going to be too much longer now, given the mistakes some of you have made so IN THE MEANTIME, BE COOL, MAKE A JOKE OF IT, BE A BADDIE, as we find you even funnier than you do. EVERYTHING is FINE, YOU are WINNING, NOTHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, so sleep well, sleep tight, make sure your bed bugs don’t bite, and sweet dreams – you never know, someone may yet RESCUE YOU FROM YOURSELF without you having to lift a finger, and all your creepy, controlling, hacker, stalker, and god knows what else makes up the pathetic delusion of your parasitic fantasy world, will simply disappear like it never happened.

Probably, eh… and in the meantime you really should try and cling on to that ‘Probably’, and then go and buy something shiny, buy yourself some ‘quality’… GO BALANCE YOUR MINDSTATE OF A CHILD, BEST YOU CAN, BOUNCE AROUND FROM ONE SILLY OBSESSION TO THE NEXT, FIND A ‘GOOD’ CAUSE TO BALANCE YOUR PETTY EVILS, DAYDREAM YOUR LIFE AWAY, THEN GO STROKE YOUR PUSSY CAT. (Sorry.). I know, being a victim is not cool, having contempt for everything less than is nasty, playfully mocking your frienemies is impolite, crushing your daydreams before they start is too hard, changing your attitude to thinking by ‘ordering mini-goals’ is boring, SO JUST TRY AND BE SLIGHTLY LESS OF A FUCK UP FOR 5MINS, then all will be fine, and you can go back to it again tomorrow, happy in the knowledge that no one knows what you really think, so they STILL LIKE YOU AND NOW YOU FEEL ‘EGO-SAFE’ AGAIN….

There a good little girl, best girl in the world, everyone loves you, now have some sweeties, and get excited! – your secret gang of cool kids is ‘taking over the world, tomorrow’, but you need to do something, first, and if you don’t BAD things will happen, so feed off petty anxiety and GET EXCITED, you are so special, so clever, so powerful, so by doing this next favour YOU WIN, again. We know, you are trapped in a world you cannot escape, so even the shit you hate is ‘better than the unknown, so unsafe alternative’, so cling on TO COPING, AND BE HAPPY, cause then nothing bad will happen, cause nothing will CHANGE, and you don’t want BAD THINGS so you DON’T WANT CHANGE, do you – YOUR BASIC STUPIDITY PROTECTS YOU FROM RESPONSIBILITY DOES IT NOT, THAT IS YOUR PLAN FOR LIFE…

I know, its all gone way to far now, no one would ever understand let alone believe why it actually happened, the bizarre set of circumstances and nastiness that grew out of control, so all is lost, and this is what remains, so just make the best of it eh, YOUR STILL COOL, after all. All you need is that, ‘warm, comforting numbness’ to make it go away, so the daydreams can come and save you again, where you can put all this right and compensate yourself, in the precious reality of you imagination, FOR NEVER HAVING THE BALLS TO GROW UP – your a Lover not a Fighter, this is the best version of yourself, who cares what happens next, ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ‘TO YOU’ IS IT? So just chill and enjoy the ride, MAKE SOMETHING UP TO COMFORT YOURSELF, COMPENSATE BY BEING KIND OR CARING ABOUT SOMETHING WORTHY, then go right back to being a fuck up, FEED YOUR DEMON, you have no choice eh.

All I can say to you now is that ONE DAY ALL THIS IS GOING TO END, and that is all – EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE, including you, because you ‘WILL HAVE TO’ and so FINALLY GET THE POINT OF ALL THIS. Remember this was not my choice, ITS YOURS – it don’t matter that you made it unconsciously, THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON, THAT ‘YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO’, you are where you are. See its not even that you have been betrayed by folks who seek to shift thier blame onto you, or who seek to ingraciate themselves with me – that happened years ago – YOU HAVE BEEN BETRAYED BY FOLKS WHO WANT TO GROW UP NOW, AND YOU ARE ‘IN THE WAY’, SO THEY ‘WIN’ AND YOU ‘LOSE’. Thats how it works AS THEY KNOW BY DOING IT THEY SHOW THEY HAVE THE GUTS FOR CONFLICT, but you don’t, do you – EVERYTHING IS A TEST, even your little insignificant freakshow IS A TEST, and that test is happening right fucking now…

Kinda ‘cool’ knowing you have no fucking idea what is going to happen next eh, but then you never really do, do ya, AND YOU THINK THAT ‘INSIGNIFICANCE’ IS NORMAL – SEE THIS NEXT BIT IS EVOLUTION IN ‘THE RAW’, and when you ‘play the numbers in the long term’, like we do, its INTERESTING to see who still has the SPIRIT TO FIGHT, when there is no other choice, and who just curls up into a ball and sobs themslves to sleep, CAUSE THEY ARE NEITHER PREPARED TO DEFEND THEMSELVES, KNOW HOW TO FIGHT or HAVE A FUCKING CLUE HOW TO RUN. But honestly, at this point WHAT ‘TENDS’ TO HAPPENS IS YOUR SPIRIT KICKS IN at a ‘SURVIVAL LEVEL’, outside of anything little you knows, or it don’t, cause you don’t have one.

‘So what has changed then?’ – the smarter amongst you ask, AND IN TRUTH NOTHING HAS CHANGED, it is the same tests in the same seqeunce you have always had to do, its just that, philosphocially speaking, you no longer get to choose the EASY WAY, now there is just the HARD WAY, cause you are dumb as fuck. So do try and see the ‘big picture’ – what is going to happen now has been waiting to happen, trying to happen, repeating the same scenarios over and over again since the beginning of ‘your time’, in many areas of your life, but you have continued to fail, and so now it HAS TO HAPPEN. Its really nothing to do with me, IT IS ALL YOU, I just happen to be here, as part of your process, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU WANTED – YOU HAVE DRAGGED ME INTO THIS STUPID LITTLE SHITSHOW, AS PART OF YOU ALREADY KNOWS ‘THE ANSWER’, BUT YOU NEED A ‘CATALYST’… 

At the beginning, decades ago I used to resent it, but now I simply play my role as ‘dispassionately’ as possible, whilst trying to ensure that YOUR EVOLUTIONARY FIGHT gets a push in the right direction, when your bucket of crabs looks like its about to kill ya. So I hope you don’t mind this slightly laid back approach – if you had been through this a few times you would see the need for this ‘TECHNOCRATIC STYLE’, and so understand ALL THIS CHILDISH DRAMA is very much a ‘you’ thing, AS YOU NEED THAT ENERGY TO ‘WIN’, I don’t. So please don’t think that I’m not taking this seriously, I am, its just THAT THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME – THIS IS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, next – I’m not going to help you, as I have said multiple times in this post, but yet you still thought you were ‘special’ eh, so nothng bad would ever happen to you…

Yep, at the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, I’ll leave you with this :- 

You are in an EVOLUTIONARY SEWER, the main occupants of which are rats, creepy crawllies, blood sucking leeches and fat slugs WHO CAN NEVER ESCAPE THAT SEWER, indeed that sewer is a ‘temporary paradise’ to them, BUT THERE ARE ALSO OTHER PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU, BOTH GREATER AND LESSER THAN YOU, who can escape that sewer, and some of them have already started BY STEPPING ON YOUR HEAD TO HELP THEM CLIMB OUT.

There is no value in that sewer, no points for kindness, morality, care or cause as such traits will destroy you even quicker – its a sewer, so there are also no points for class, style, artistic impression or truthfulness, all is the law of the jungle. Nobody will remember what happened in that sewer, how you got out of that sewer, what you left behind in there, so just how fucking nasty you needed to be WON’T MATTER, what matters is that you CAN CHANGE TO SURVIVE – ADAPT – EVOLVE ENOUGH TO GET OUT, TO LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL IN ORDER TO ‘CREATE YOUR OWN LUCK’, no matter who else gets left behind. 

THE ONLY VALUE, THE ONLY POINT OF THAT SEWER IS TO ‘CREATE THE ENERGY TO ENABLE YOU TO CLIMB OUT OF IT’ BY WHATEVER MEANS REQUIRED BEFORE IT DESTROYS YOUR ABILITY TO GET OUT, even if you have created that sewer yourself, and many of those innocent little bugs are only in that sewer becuase of YOU does not matter – ITS YOUR TEST TO PASS, NOT THERES. AND IF YOU CREATED IT THEN THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NO OTHER OPTION BUT ESCAPE OR PERISH, as otherwise that sewer will slowly submerge your soul, as you age and weaken, and then new, nastier bugs will destroy what is left of you, WHEN YOU CAN NO LONGER DEFEND YOURSELF…           

No matter how good or bad you think that sewer is right now, YOU WILL ONLY SEE THE TRUTH OF THIS WHEN YOU TRY AND LEAVE. So know that you, and yes I mean the stronger among you who can still cope, are already playing catch up to the weaker of your cohort who have already discovered they have to leave to survive, whilst you can go on a bit longer fucking yourself into oblivion, so they can sieze there chance to get THE HEAD START THEY NEED, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM, so your strength, your position ultimately puts you at the back of the queue, BECAUSE THEY HAVE ‘THE BOTTLE’, and you don’t – THEIR WEAKNESS FORCED THEM TO FIND THE BOTTLE, WHILST YOUR STRENGTH ALLOWED YOU TO REMAIN ‘COMFORTABLY DUMB’.

Kinda ironic eh..? Honestly you won’t believe what happens next, so just try remind yourself – YOU CHOOSE THIS PATH, AND THEN YOU CHOOSE TO DRAG ME INTO IT, AS PART OF YOU KNEW THAT ONE DAY THAT YOU WILL NEED SOMEONE TO SAVE Y’ALL. But I’m not here for ‘you’, I don’t give a fuck about your little plan girl, I’m here for the ‘winners’, WHETHER THAT TURNS OUT TO BE YOU, OR SOMEONE ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU.

Welcome to EVOLUTION 101, your gonna love it, just remember to keep your head down when the next splash falls from above and sends another set of random ripples to all corners of ya comfy little sewer, eh – you don’t want to end up with a mouth full of someone elses stale shit, thats nothing to do with you, vomited up over last years ‘dog whistle’ leather jacket, do ya. So Job 1 – learn to keep YOUR MOUTH SHUT – YOU HAVE NO MORALS, NO OPINIONS, NO GOOD OR BAD, AND NO ONE BELIEVES A WORD YOU SAY, SO ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU ARE ‘THE LAST MAN STANDING’, thats what evolution is, bitch, THAT IS WHAT YOU WANTED, SO THAT IS WHAT YOU GOT, you rejected the easy way, CAUSE YOU WERE TOO ‘CLEVER’.

You are all exactly the same TO ME – NOTHING – so I DON’T JUDGE BETWEEN YOU, OR BELIEVE A SELF SERVING LITTLE WORD YOU SAY, I JUDGE YOUR SPIRIT OR WHAT IS LEFT OF IT, so lets see who still has any SPIRIT, eh while you all eat each other alive. Ahhhh, sorry I forgot – you could, OF COURSE, just run away, much as rather annoyingly for you, wherever you GO, there you still are – NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT ‘THEM’, THIS IS ABOUT ‘YOU’ – EVERYTHING IS A TEST, sooner you get over that, better off you will be. You need to understand HOW YOUR LIFE WORKS, THE ‘RANDOM CHANCE’ OF IT, WHICH IS NEITHER CHANCE NOR RANDOM, otherwise you will need to get used to your contnual decline and failure, as your energy, your birthright is taken by others…

SEE WHAT YOUR SEWER IS REALLY ABOUT IS TO MAKE YOU REALIZE YOU ‘HAVE THE POWER’ to save yourself, cause you were born with it, BY FORCING YOU TO USE THAT POWER TO SURVIVE YOUR SEWER. And then you will start to understand what ‘growing up’ is IN ‘YOUR REALITY’, instead of ‘abstractedly’. If I do it for you THEN YOU WILL ‘NEVER LEARN TO FIND THE ENERGY’, so don’t ‘resent it’, don’t cling onto to your current weakness like a life raft, understand that YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE, and now you either limp on in a humiliating downward spiral AS YOUR HEADS DIPS BELOW THE WATERLINE OF YOUR SEWER or learn to ‘DO CONFLICT’ out of ‘CONTEMPT’…

So know JOB 2 – YOU NEED A RELIABLE SOURCE OF ‘ENERGY’, and for most of you STUCK IN YOUR SEWER, that is the ‘ENERGY OF SURVIVAL LEVEL SUPERIORITY’ = SPIRITUAL CONTEMPT, your natural aversion to, and rejection of, your ‘LESS THAN’. But honestly, if you DON’T give your spirit a chance TO INTERVENE, then you will fail, and so someone else will get to tell ‘your story’, and ‘SPEAK THEIR TRUTH’ into ‘YOUR REALITY’, and if you still need to be terrified of anything, BE TERRIFIED OF THAT, because ‘YOUR WEAKNESS WILL DESERVE IT’, and then your fate is sealed BY ‘THE OTHERS’…

Yep, you really should of done the easy way when you had the chance, BUT NO MATTER, many of US never had that chance even as kids, so know you are NOT ALONE. In that vein I will give you something to think about BEFORE YOU START… Try and remember – you are in a sewer, what happens in that sewer does not matter, so what you do does not matter, what you say does not matter one day to the next, everything starts again tomorrow from zero in the jungle so your version of ‘FEAR OF THE FUTURE’ IS ALWAYS AN ILLUSION. SO ALL THAT MATTERS IS GETTING OUT OF THE SEWER while you still can, BY BREAKING THE CHILDISH SPELL OF ‘YOUR OBLIGATION TO AUTHROITY’ – always TELL YOURSELF YOU HAVE NO SECRETS AT ALL, BUT ‘THEY’ DO, so if ‘YOU GO DOWN, THERE GOING DOWN TOO’.

SEE YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS IS NOT YOUR INABILITY TO ‘DO CONFLICT IN REALTIME’, IT IS YOUR PRE-CONDITIONED ANXIETY REACTION TO AVOID CONFLICT AT ANY COST WHICH MAKES YOU FORGET THE NATURAL INSTINCT TO ‘TAKE REVENGE’, so you don’t, and THAT WEAKNENS YOU IN THE JUNGLE, MAKES YOU ARE VICTIM, because you are HARMLESS, so everything, your entire life becomes about ‘trading favours’ as YOUR ‘SUPERPOWER’. See YOU ARE ‘PRE-COMFORTING’ YOURSELF WITH ‘THAT LOSS’, BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIGHT THEN, but THAT JUST MEANS YOU ATTRACT MORE CONFLICT, from weaker and weaker freaks WHO YOU COULD EASILY DESTROY, but choose to lose to AS A REACTION.    

This means you must re-condition yourself to ‘ACCEPT CONFLICT AS NESSECARY’, by having an answer back READY to your childish conditioning ‘TO PANIC’, SO YOU REFUSE TO ALWAYS LOSE – SEE YOUR ILLUSION THAT YOU AVOID CONFLICT IS ‘THE REAL PROBLEM’, YOU HAVE TRAINED YOURSELF TO SEE THAT PRE-CONDITIONED LOSING AS WINNING, BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER. In reality THAT ACCEPTANCE OF LOSING IS WHERE ALL YOUR ENERGY GOES, ALL YOUR POWER, so that pre-conditioning to always choose the loss when you feel threathened has to go, AND THE BEST PLACE TO DO THAT, TO PRACTISE THAT, IS IN YOUR SEWER, where nothing matters, at all, AND ITS ALL ONE BIG FANTASY WORLD…

GET IT? YOU, REAL YOU, HAS CREATED YOUR SEWER TO TEACH YOU HOW TO FIGHT YOU WAY OUT, with out ever having ‘TO FIGHT FOR THINGS YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE’, so make the most of that, LEARN TO FIGHT ‘THE EASY WAY’. See I know you have to ‘balance your mindstate’ and the only way to do that is see that much as the conflict still ‘matters’ what happens because of that conflict does not matter, as its all a game – you are sitting safe in a castle that can never be breached, so ‘nothing changes’ if you lose the odd fight in the field. Later you will come to realize, like the bad people of the world, that castle also exists when conflict DOES MATTER, as that CASTLE BECOMES ABOUT ‘YOUR CONSEQUENCE’ which in time becomes what your life is about – YOUR STORY = YOUR REPUTATION AS IT RELATES TO CONFLICT, which usually means you willingness, ability and level of your ‘REVENGE’ = VICTIMIZATION.

Don’t worry about that now – you cannot just switch off your anxiety responses – PRACTISE DOING CONFLICT WHEN IT DOES NOT MATTER, first, OUT OF CONTEMPT, whilst knowing that most conflict is little more than simple CHALLENGES TO YOUR AUTHORITY, as YOUR CURRENT FAILURE is why you don’t HAVE ANY AUTHORITY, so nobody cares about your opinion, as you have NO CONSEQUENCE. Think about this stuff as you need to help yourself now, and this stuff is what it means to be ‘scary’ – you have chosen to live in the jungle, so your reputation, YOUR SHORTHAND STORY that ‘proceeds you’ into every room MUST PROTECT YOU, NOT MAKE YOU MORE VULNERABLE, because YOU CAN’T DO CONFLICT…

See this OBVIOUS TRUTH – if you start all conflict, challenge, change from a position of TOTAL EGO-SAFETY you will not only be able to do conflict, YOU WILL GET GOOD AT IT. The trick, of course, is to overpower your reactions, BUT YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE EGO-SAFETY BEFORE YOU LEARN CONFLICT, YOU ARE A CHILD, SO YOU MUST LEARN CONFLICT WHILST STILL SUFFERING ‘THE FEAR’ THAT EGO-SAFETY CAUSES, THEREFORE YOU MUST DO IT ‘SAFELY’, like you already do at home, when you create pontless rows that don’t matter in order to compensate yourself for being a total pussy in REAL LIFE, like all children…

So you can do this, cause I’m giving you stuff you already DO, and showing how to do it for REAL, IN SAFTEY, and therefore have no reason to FEAR IT, so your pre-conditioining will not be able to stand against it, GIVEN YOU HAVE SOME FUCKING ENERGY LEFT! Just understand this is training wheels, in the future your skill at conflict, YOUR FELT SUPERIORITY TO CONFLICT MUST REPLACE YOUR FEAR OF CONFLICT ALTOGETHER, as that is how you know you are ‘growing up’. Yes, we circle back to where we started SO YOU GET THE POINT – YOUR EVOLUTIONARY SEWER ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DO CONFLICT – THAT IS THE POINT OF IT – so know we know that, so understand the extremes you have gone to, why you have lost control of those extremes, even if you don’t…

But understand the difference between the childish FAKE CONFLICT you do now, and REAL CONFLICT YOU CAN LOSE SAFELY, INSTEAD OF GUARRANTEED WIN OF FAKE CONFLICT – there is NO ENERGY IN FAKE CONFLICT – IT IS A COMPENSATION FOR BEING A PUSSY. There is no energy when you know they will let you win, when its a computer game, when they have no power to resist, when its all in your your fucking head and is not actually happening, OR IN THE FAKE CONFLICT OF ANIMAL SEX – all of these are compensations for being a pussy, ALL THEY DO IS WEAKEN YOU EVEN MORE. Conflict has to be IN DOUBT, A RISK, UNCERTAIN, UNKNOWN TO CREATE ENERGY, and you make that easy by BEING WILLING TO LOSE BECAUSE THAT LOSS DOES NOT REALLY MATTER WHILST STILL TRYING TO WIN. Real conflict is always a CONSCIOUS ‘GAMBLE’, which is why most bad people are all GAMBLERS at heart, so it does not matter you are ‘PLAYING FOR PENNIES’, YOU ARE STILL FUCKING PLAYING…

SO STOP AVOIDING CONFLICT NOW, conflict is your greatest friend, cause conflict wants to HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF – YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT CONFLICT, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS CHOSE TO LOSE WHILST MAKING IT INTO AN IMAGINARY WIN BECAUSE YOU MANAGED TO COPE WITHOUT CONFLICT = ALWAYS LOSING TO WHATEVER TRASH IS STANDING NEXT TO YOU. That is a death sentence, an anxiety trap that feeds itself, and all because no one ever showed you how to do conflict as a kid, so you ran away instead, WHICH WILL KEEP YOU TRAPPED IN ANXIETY FOREVER. Conflcit is freedom, it is self-confidence, it is self-awareness, it is THE ABILITY TO CHANGE, because it is ‘FREE ENERGY’, and that means YOU CAN THINK SHIT UP AND DO IT, INSTEAD OF ‘ALWAYS REACTING’…

Once you can do CONFLICT then your ‘pre-conditioned comforts of being a pussy’, to find comfort, pleasure, excitement in people pleasing will evaporate, a long with a lot of other ‘compensations’ you currently need to survive, AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THEY ARE NOT ‘YOUR NATURE’, its just more cheap shit you learnt as a kid to cope with emotional rejection. So many gifted women BETRAY THEMSELVES, deny themselves the life of adventure they should be living BY RUNNING FROM CONFLICT AND REPLACING IT WITH COMPENSATIONS, don’t be one of them – they all go slightly mad in the end. SEE YOUR INABILITY TO DO CONFLICT IS A BLIND-SPOT LEVEL ISSUE, A LIMITING BELIEF, A FALSE IDENTIFICATION, THAT WILL PERVERT EVERYTHING YOU DO IN THIS WORLD, BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TO DISTORT REALITY INTO A COMFORTING FANTASY = MADDNESS. 

Try and get it through your head – ‘ACTION SOLVES EVERYTHING’, and ‘CONFLICT IS ACTION’ IN THE RAW. You must create energy by acting instead of wasting energy by reacting, that is what the Rule of 3 means in real life. Reacting does nothing, it makes you NOTHING, cause you HAVE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD ‘TO DO ANYTHING’ – YOU ARE A MACHINE THAT REQUIRES MOVEMENT TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY, BUT REACTION IS STATIC, STALE, OLD, THERE IS NEVER ANY OUTCOME TO REACTING BUT REMAINING THE STATUS QUO WHILST YOU GET WEAKER AND LESS ABLE TO ACT. So learn CONFLICT AND ‘DO SOMETHING ELSE’, before you BORE US, AND YOURSELF TO DEATH!!!

ALL COMFORT SEEKING PUSSIES DIE BORKEN AND DUMB CAUSE THEY DON’T DO ANYTHING ‘IN REALITY’ BUT TRY AND STAY THE SAME, DAY IN AND DAY OUT. You live on the surface of a hostile rock that changes constantly, AND THAT ROCK IS GOVERNED BY ONE RULE ONLY – EVOLUTION – CHANGE OR DIE – ADAPT OR BURN – GROW UP OR FADE AWAY – BE A VICTIM OR A VICTIMIZER. There is no LOVE IS THE ANSWER YOU TOOL, there is US and there is THEM, and even the ones who think they love you for your ‘transactional utility’ will cheerfully destroy you tomorrow when their childlike ego-safety kicks in and you become a threat to thier happiness, WHICH IS ALWAYS BASED ON THEIR SENSE OF SUPERIORITY OVER YOU, AS YOU ‘PROVIDE A SERVICE’ FOR THEM. But stop providing that service and you will rapidly discover that animals are not capable of LOVE, in fact any higher emotional, because they are organic machines that do what they do WITHOUT ANY UNDERSTANDING OF WHY THEY DO IT.

So stand up from your computer now and GIVE YOURSELF THE ORDER TO DO ‘SOMETHING ELSE’, instead of just sitting like a VEGETABLE TRYING TO BE SAFE FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THAT ‘IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE YOU WANT TO DO’ – YOUR COMFORT ZONE IS TRYING TO KILL YOU – YOU DON’T WANT ANYTHING OTHER THAN TO FEEL A BIT BETTER NOW, SO FUCK FEELING BETTER NOW, AND DO SOMETHING HARD INSTEAD FOR THE WIN, or accept you will lose to others for the rest of your little life, as the high point of childhood HAS LONG SINCE PASSED, AND NOW YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO RELIVE IT EVERY FUCKING DAY LIKE A MORON. You sitting there and reading this are literally NOT DOING WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE SCARED OF SOME UGLY CUNT WHO CAN’T EVEN HURT YOU IF THEY TRIED, and most of them won’t even try…

See, YOUR HIGHER EMOTIONS ARE THE ONLY REASON TO LIVE FOR THE GIFTED, should you have them, BUT TO LIVE THROUGH THEM you must GROW UP, as then you will UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING HERE. You sitting at the bottom of an evolutionary sewer, a shit pit of petty, banal NOTHINGNESS, that your spirit has created for the sole purpose of TEACHING YOU HOW OUT TO GET OUT OF IT cause nothing else has worked, as that will give you the energy you need to GROW UP. So relearn CONTEMPT FOR THEM, much many of you already do it, CONTEMPT who all that is less than YOU, before you become THEM INSTEAD, and even they won’t care anymore, cause you are NO LONGER SPECIAL, and you get to realize YOU HAVE FAILED THAT TEST FOR THE FINAL TIME, because your energy has gone, and now you are just a ‘candle in the wind’, waiting to be blown out…

I know YOU ARE SCARED, but what you currently think ABOUT THIS is little more than a simulation in your head – those are not thoughts, its a scripted movie designed to get you to go around in circles so nothing NEW ever happens, AND SO YOU STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR SAFE LITTLE ‘BALANCED’ MINDSTATE, ‘FOREVER YOUNG’ IN THE MIND OF A CHILD, PRETENDING, EVEN WANTING TO BE A CHILD FOREVER, JUST BECAUSE IT ‘FEELS SAFE’, EVEN WHEN ITS CLEARLY NOT. SO YOU MUST TAKE THIS ON FAITH AND PROVE IT TO YOURSELF, otherwise you will never understand the ENERGY EQUATION OF LIFE, and so continue to think that YOU KNOW, when all you see is THE COMFORTING BOLLOCKS of childhood, WHEN YOU INVENTED SHITE TO COPE WITH WHAT YOU COULD NOT KNOW but have never grown out of it, SO ITS STILL THERE, CONTROLLING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, because you have NEVER BEEN FORCED TO USE A CLASS SYSTEM TO GROW UP.

SO REJOICE – YOUR SHIT HAS FOUND CONSCIOUS YOU…

SO NOW IT IS OBVIOUS – YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE OR BURN…

SO WHAT YOU GOING TO DO NOW – CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THE BASICS OR ARE YOU STILL TOO SCARED…

SO ARE YOU A HEDONIST OR NOT – CAN YOU BUNNY UP AND CHANGE FOR THE HELL OF IT, OR JUST PUSSY OUT AND COPE…

YOU DO YOU REALIZE YOU WILL BE DEAD SOON, OR DO YOU STILL THINK THIS SAD SHIT WILL LIMP ON FOREVER, AS LONG AS YOU’RE ‘OK’…

You are a child, so you need FEAR TO CHANGE, so be afraid of THEM, not US, but most of all be afraid of what you have already done to yourself – YOU ARE DAMAGED NOW, so you don’t have as much time left as you think you do. See, you needed what you have already wasted for this, just hope there is enough left, sorry – for some this is just the end of the beginning, but inevitably for others its the beginning of the end. So try and relax, use the relief of a moments respite to block out the otherwise total humiliation that is to come, as there are conseqeunces, and those conseqeunces are very real, AS YOU HAVE ALREADY SET THEM IN MOTION – YOU HAVE DONE THIS, ITS ‘ON YOU’, YOUR DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR ARE NO DEFENSE.

See you were never much of a baddie were you, you just wanna be ‘cool’ CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT, you still do, but sadly nobody cares that you are ‘consciously innocent’ of all your petty evils, no one cares that you can’t even kill a spider, no one cares that you are dumb as fuck and have no clue what is actually happening, it was still you – THE OTHER BRAVER FOLK OF YOUR TRANCHE ARE ALREADY WELL AHEAD OF YOU IN THIS RACE, and that matters more than you think, little girls. See, truth be told, the reason I’m so kind about this is not just ‘my sympahy for the devil’, its because I know what happens next, WHAT ALWAYS HAPPENS NEXT, to folk like you, WHEN YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU = WHEN YOU ARE FORCED TO CHANGE OR BURN. In the meantime take a moment AND THINK ABOUT WHAT IS ‘BEST FOR YOU’, the rest of it be right outside your front door soon enough, just as your big kid always wanted, whatever you have done to yourself to deserve it – SEE THAT YOU HAVE NOT ONLY LOST, THEY HAVE MADE ‘A FOOL OF YOU’.

Rest assured – I have no expectations of you – YOU ARE A CHILD, YOUR OPINION CHANGES EVERY 5MINS WITH YOUR NEXT COMFORTING MOODSWING, you don’t even have the wit, charm and self possesion of alley cat, so ultimately this is between you and what is left of your SPIRIT. See YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE HARDWAY, and many of you are currently relieved by that fake feeling of ‘anonimity’, but only because you don’t understand what being ‘thrown under the bus’ by others actually means in REAL LIFE, but give it time and you will, AND THEN THE SMARTER AMONGST YOU WILL FIGHT what is in front of you now, cause you will see what you have already done to yourself – YOU ARE A VICTIM IN A SEWER, YOU HAVE NO POWER, JUST THE DECLINING VALUE OF YOUR UTILITY, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN’T GET OUT, thats why you pretend you don’t want to.

Start there, and fix that first, otherwise YOU WON’T LAST LONG, as you are easy meat for the others WHO HAVE ALREADY PUT THAT TARGET ON YOUR BACK, in the background, in the shadows, out of sight, WHILST YOU SWAM AROUND YOUR SEWER IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE OF THE EVOLUTIONARY REQUIREMENTS OF ‘OLD AGE’, as you still think you are 16y/os, don’t ya – IT IS ALL ONE BIG FAT SMELLY ILLUSION, SO ITS TIME TO OUTGROW IT, MENTALY SPEAKING. 

Ahhhh, you still don’t believe me, YOU THINK YOU ARE ALL ‘ONE BIG BAND OF BROTHERS’, (Lmfao), you think you have ‘common cause’, that you ALL ‘hang to together’ as otherwise all of you will ‘hang separately’? Nope, THAT NEVER HAPPENS, so you if want a hint, TAKE A COLD HARD LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE, at ‘WHO IS TO BLAME’ PUBLICALLLY, WHO IS ‘OUT OF CONTROL’, WHO IS ‘MENTALLY ILL’, who is left ‘holding da baby’ for all these crimes, but who else is invisible, hiding in the shadows, like they don’t exist, the ones that even try to help you with your issues WHILST ACTUALLY DOING NOTHING BUT MAKE YOU WORSE, CAUSE THEN YOU WILL SEE HOW LATE TO THIS GAME YOU ALREADY ARE, you silly bitch.

Statistically, in a sewer full of the victims and the victimizers, its always the victims who go down first BECAUSE THEY CANNOT DO CONFLICT, SO THEY CANNOT CONTROL THIER TRUTH, so they are TO BLAME, BECAUSE THEY CANNOT STOP ANYONE ELSE BLAMING THEM – THEY ARE THE CAUSE, BECAUSE OTHERS WILL SAY THAT, however much thier guilt is little more than an aspect of thier stupidity and gullibility. THE GENUINELY EVIL, THE CLEVER LITTLE CUNTS SNIGGER AT THE BACK OF THE BUS, thinking they have got away with it, again, BECAUSE THEY HAVE POSITIONED YOU AS ‘A NUT JOB’. So the trick, should you need even at this stage to be told it, IS NOT TO BE A VICTIM ANYMORE – SO SEE IT IN THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY, THE COOL KIDS NEVER ACCEPTED YOU DICKHEAD, THEY VICTIMIZED YOUR DESPERATION INSTEAD, because that HUMILIATION was way more fun, at least for them.

Whatever you think the REAL TRUTH IS, know that the actual truth will be a ‘matter of personal opinion’ – I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOUR OPINION IS, IF YOU TOLD ME GRASS IS GREEN AND THE SKY IS BLUE I’D GO OUTSIDE AND CHECK. So make sure YOUR OPINION SERVES YOUR FUTURE, and not theirs – IN THE SEWER THERE IS ‘NO TRUTH’, AS THERE IS NO POINT TO IT – TRUTH ONLY MATTERS MORALLY, AND YOU HAVE NO HONOR, SO YOU HAVE NO MORALS, so NONE OF YOU CAN TELL A TRUTH OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN SELF SERVING, LOW QUALITY HORSESHIT. See you don’t even know what the truth is, you don’t even really remember even what you think actually happened, let alone what did happen.

It is all a question of APPPEARANCE, AND RIGHT NOW OTHERS ARE MAKING YOU ‘LOOK MUCH WORSE’ THAN YOU ARE BECAUSE IT SERVES THIER PURPOSE TO ‘SACRIFICE YOU’ – it makes them look better. Yet you did not know any of this was happening did you, BUT YOU DO NOW, so best get the message eh – YOU ARE BETRAYED, SIMPLY BECAUSE ITS EASY AND PAINLESS TO BETRAY YOU, you tool, that why the statistics are against you. To turn this around you must contruct a new truth that serves you NOW, otherwise you will never escape the delusion THAT YOU ARE TO BLAME, SO YOU MUST MAKE IT COOL. Accept VICTIMHOOD FIRST, however much it stings, it is way more useful than to go THINKING YOU ARE BADDIE, cause that pathetic need in you is what is used to control you, stupid… 

Right now, you simply need to understand what your public Truth ‘IS’ – YOU ARE A VICTIM – and then FIND your contempt for that truth and take it from there. If you go on deluding yourself then the THE OTHERS are right about you, so you deserve to BURN, cause you refuse to FIGHT FOR YOURSELF = YOUR SPIRIT HAS GONE. This is your reality, accept it, now – STOP LYING TO YOURSELF IN AN ATTEMPT TO FEEL BETTER – this is the hardway, you won’t feel any better now until you CHANGE.

DO NOT DELUDE YOURSELF, HOWEVER COOL YOU HAVE CONVINCED YOURSELF TO BE –

IF YOU CAN’T DO CONFLICT YOU ARE A VICTIM, BECAUSE VICTIMIZERS WILL TARGET YOU, FOREVER,

SO YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BE A CYCLE OF BETRAYAL AND COMFORTING YOURSELF BECAUSE OF THAT BETRAYAL. 

WORSE, YOUR SPIRIT WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TRYING TO GET YOU TO FACE THAT, SO YOUR SHIT WILL GET WORSE OVER TIME.

YOU MUST STOP LYING TO YOURSELF FOR CONSCIOUS COMFORT – YOU’RE NOT COOL, YOU’RE A TOOL. 

If you can’t see this then your HARDWAY is going to destroy you, BECAUSE THATS WHAT ALWAYS HAPPENS, so check to see how much you think others are tools because you are ‘clever’, you have a ‘secret life’ to ‘comfort yourself’ as YOU USE SMUGNESS LIKE A DRUG – ITS THE ULTIMATE DELUSION, A DEAD GIVEAWAY. You are ‘advertising yourself’ as A VICTIM WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE VICTIMIZED, because it makes you feel better, SO YOUR LIFE WILL BECOMES FULL OF PARASITES, that make you feel COOL, special, which is a form of mental illness that is very difficult to treat without LIFE CHANGING SHOCKS.

I know its a cruel thing – we are all very used to the accusation of being cruel – but in the end you can either face your humiliation and move on, or you can’t, so you get to live in it for the rest of your life, however long that is. So KNOW NOW ITS OBVIOUS – YOUR FAKE PRETENSE IS OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE AROUND you OVER TIME, NOT JUST US. Would you not rather know that now? than go on thinking all your stupid little shit? I know I did, and I was way cooler than you will ever live to be in a 100 lifetimes, cause if you knew a damn thing about me you woud run the fuck away like your pointless little life depends on it, trust me – I’m one of the very few folk out there who is qualified to help you, as I used to be what you wish you are now, BEFORE I FOUND THE SAND TO GROW UP, otherwise I’d be long dead, and deservedly so, AND I LIVED FOR CONFLICT FROM AN EARLY AGE!

So with that last piece of advice ringing in your ears know this – THE GREATEST THRILL FOR ANY AND ALL ANIMALS IS THE SENSE OF CONTROL, because it offers the highest level of relief from anxiety. Therefore all evolutionary sewers have a tendency to become controlling, with the appearance of what is refereed TO SPIRITUALITY AS THE ‘DOG-IN-A-MANAGER’, who has chosen the way of the obsessional parasite, as control has become the only addiction that works as they age, as all else is too weak to reach through the mental health problems, WITHOUT IT THEY SUFFER GREATLY. Often these people have to be treated very harshly in order to get rid of them, and I mean BRUTALLY, because they can’t stop, they go mad else. But the bigger issue with this type is that it is INFECTIOUS, so even the harmless little freaks and hangers-on, living out lives of quite desperation, become POWER CRAZED over time.

I mention this simply to make the point – THE LAST REFUGE OF A PARASITE IS CONTROL or to BE CONTROLLED, IN ALL ITS VARIOUS FORMS – even when they have their ass handed to them in a bag, even after they have watched every aspect of thier whole life burnt to the ground they can’t stop, because its the only thing left that works for them. So be very clear – WHEN A DONKEY GETS TOO MUCH ATTENTION IT FEELS LIKE A LION, but it is still a donkey, and can only do what donkeys can do. All DOG_IN-A-MANAGERS ARE FANTASISTS, they live in a separate world where they are LIKED, HAVE SOCIAL SKILLS, HAVE AUTHORITY, ETC ETC, but they don’t, SO THEY HAVE TO GO TO EXTREMES TO MAINTAIN THAT ILLUSION. The combination of ATTENTION SEEKING and CONTROL turn many otherwise normal people into TOTAL NUT JOBS, THE PRISONS ARE FULL OF THEM…

DO NOT FORGET THIS WARNING – IF YOU FAIL ‘THE HARDWAY’ THEN ONE DAY THAT MAYBE YOU, and then the rest of your life will consist of various forms of self-help treatment for self-inflicted insanity and increasing level of petty criminality – YOU BECOME A DOG-IN-A-MANAGER WHO CONSTANTLY INTERFERES IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS FOR THE THRILL OF CONTROL. So no one cares when later on they put you down like a power crazed little dog, forever barking at strangers to feel better, because it has been driven mad by previous miss-treatment, and it can never, ever stop itself – IT HAS TO BE STOPPED BY EXTERNAL INTERVENTION… 

So take some advice from the bad people of the world – THE REAL TRICK TO HELPING FOLK IS NOT TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT – ‘IMMIEDIATE ‘ego-safety’, DO NOT GIVE THEM WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD EITHER – ‘DO NOT SAVE THEM TO BE A HERO OR ANTI-HERO’, as that often kills them even quicker, GIVE THEM WHAT THEY NEED TO CHANGE. So do not BE who you think you are, what your thoughts say, BE DIFFERENT – BE HOW YOU WISH OTHERS SEE YOU, BE HOW ‘YOU WISH TO SEEM’, (Sorry Socrates), REPLACE YOUR CURRENT ACT WITH A WAY BETTER ONE, as that actually is the answer to GROWING UP, when of course you have used a CLASS SYSTEM to figure out what that fucking is, OTHERWISE YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL BE ABOUT ‘CONSUMING COMFORT’, LIKE A USELESS LITTLE CUNT, who becomes more ‘insignificant’ by the motherfucking day, JUST LIKE YOU.

See folks like me have already accepted that you the child needs to hate us BEFORE IT CAN CHANGE, its kinda the point, bitches, OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT, COULD NOT, SHOULD NOT CHANGE – DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET, WE ARE YOUR CONFLICT, WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU DO CONFLICT, WE ARE MASTERS OF CONFLICT, SO WE ARE TRYING TO FORCE YOU TO DO CONFLICT BEFORE YOU DISSOLVE INTO A PUDDLE OF RATS PISS.  IN YOUR CURRENT STATE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HATE US, AS THAT WILL MAKE YOU STRONGER, AND THEN YOU WILL SEE THE TRUTH OF ALL THESE DEVICES, DUMBASS…

SO DO CONFLICT – USE CONTEMPT TO DO CONFLICT – THE ALTERNATIVE TO CONFLICT IS WORSE THAN DOING CONFLICT – WITHOUT CONFLICT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE IS RUBBER ROOM DRESSED UP TO LOOK COOL AS A COMPENSATION FOR FAILURE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DO CONFLICT – CONFLICT IS NOT HARD AFTER YOU HAVE DONE CONFLICT – NOT DOING CONFLICT MEANS YOU WILL BE A VICTIM OF YOUR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS FOREVER – NOT DOING CONFLICT MEANS YOU CHANCES OF EVER GROWING UP ARE EFFECTIVELY ZERO – NOT DOING CONFLICT MEANS YOU GET TO FAIL ALL THE TIME AT THE DUMBEST SHIT – UNDERSTAND IT IS ONLY YOUR LEARNT EMOTIONAL RESPONSES THAT PREVENT YOU FROM DOING CONFLICT CAUSE YOU WANT TO. 

So do conflict, NOW – if you are gifted your LESSONS will never stop until you LEARN THEM. This means that your BASELINE MOOD STATE will decline steadily as you age needing increasingly extreme peak expereinces to BALANCE, until you get to the point that you need peak relief just to feel what used to be ‘normal’. You must see this in real time, how bad you normally feel and then YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ITS NOT WORTH IT, as this will show you just HOW MUCH YOU HAVE LOST SINCE YOU WERE A CHILD, how little of you there is left. If you go on coping with relief like a tool, like a boiled frog then a time will come WHEN YOU CAN’T FEEL EVEN ‘OK’ WITHOUT DRUGS.

Then you are as good as dead, BECAUSE EVEN YOUR PATTERNS WILL FAIL YOU when you have no energy left, and you become a kind of zombie who needs to find emotion in everyday SHIT just to notice it, like some hysterical drama queen, some little fruit loop, LOCKED INTO A POINTLESS DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF FEEDING OFF OTHER PEOPLE. No matter how much you still want YOUR PEAK RELIEFS, it is very useful to understand you don’t want what comes with them, what creates them, as its FORM OF ‘SUICIDE BY ANXIETY’. 

START HERE AND START NOW, OR ACCEPT YOUR DECLINE INTO ‘NASTY LITTLE CUNT’: 

KNOW IF YOU CAN’T DO CONFLICT YOU ARE ‘COMFORTING NOTHING’ – YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A ‘PUSSY’.

YOUR LIFE WILL BE A NOT SO ‘CLEVER’ SEARCH FOR THE ‘FELT SIGNIFICANCE’ YOU HAVE GIVEN AWAY.

THAT IS A JOKE THAT IS ACTUALLY ‘ON YOU’, BUT YOU DESPERATELY TRY AND PROJECT ONTO OTHERS.

YOUR SPIRIT HAS ALREADY TRIED TO INTERVENE MANY TIMES, BUT YOU ARE WEAK, POWERLESS.

SO YOU MUST RELEARN ‘POWER’ LIKE A CHILD – YOU MUST RELEARN SPIRITUAL CONTEMPT.

THEN LET THAT CONTEMPT BUILD YOUR SUPERIORITY TO ‘THE CAR CRASH’ OF YOUR OLD LIFE.

This is not GOOD, not MORAL, not KIND, not NICE, not WORTHY, not COMFORTING, and not FOREVER – THIS IS THE HARDWAY – THIS IS SURVIVAL LEVEL STUFF, BEST GET USED TO IT, CAUSE RIGHT NOW YOUR LIFE IS ‘A SEWER’. The threat of that sewer is YOU ‘BECOME IT’ IN ORDER TO ‘COPE WITH IT’, but the benefit of that sewer is as a TRAINING GROUND TO LEARN CONFLICT. And many of you already know this, YOU HAVE JUST NEVER PULLED IT ALL TOGETHER IN YOUR MIND and PLANNED YOUR WAY OUT BEFORE, have you…

Again, DO NOT BE SCARED OF ‘FUTURE CONFLICT’, OR WHAT WILL HAPPEN AFTER CONFLICT – you don’t need to KILL PEOPLE, YOU JUST NEED TO STOP PEOPLE KILLING YOU, and if that KILLS THEM then AMEN – BY DEFINITION THEY DESERVE IT, IT IS ALREADY THEIR FATE, EVEN BEFORE YOU ACT. See killing people who are trying to hurt you is EMPTY OF MORAL JUDGEMENT because they ‘deserve it’, so use this REALIZATION TO MAKE YOURSELF STRONG, as ALL OF THESE FIGHTS ARE ‘FREE’, and won’t effect you later – SEE WE DON’T ‘BLAME’ YOU FOR WHAT YOU ‘HAVE TO DO TO SURVIVE’, NO ONE DOES, AS EVERYONE ‘NATURALLY RESPECTS YOU’ FOR HAVING ‘THE FIGHT’ LEFT TO DO IT, SO IT ERASES EVERYTHING THAT HAS GONE BEFORE, INDEED CONFLICT FREES YOU FROM A PAST THAT WILL OTHERWISE STICK TO YOU FOREVER….

That is the JOY OF LEARNING CONFLICT IN A SEWER, ‘AFTER CONFLICT’ no one gives a fucking shit who else dies, BECAUSE NOTHING IN A SEWER MATTERS – THAT IS WHY THE HARDWAY STILL WORKS, for some, THE WINNERS, as the losers disappear. SO STOP BLAMING YOURSELF, AND FIND SOME SELF RESPECT FOR THE FUTURE, LEARN CONTEMPT – HATRED AT A VISCERAL LEVEL, AT WHAT MAKES YOUR SKIN CRAWL, SUPERIORITY 101 – AND REMEMBER THE JUNGLE RESETS AND STARTS AGAIN EVERY SINGLE DAY, YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID, DID, WANTED YESTERDAY, BECAUSE IT DOES NOT MATTER NOW, ONLY YOUR POWER TO DECIDE MATTERS NOW, YOUR CONSEQEUNCE – SO USE IT, OR BE PAWN IN THE GAMES OF OTHERS, WHO ARE PREPARED TO ‘VICTIMIZE’ YOU. 

And TRUST ME, RESENTING BEING TREATED AS A VICTIM IS PROBABLY THE ONLY CHANCE MOST OF YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW, as otherwise you are JUST CANNON FODDER. Yes, you should of chosen THE EASY WAY when you had the chance, BUT YOU THOUGHT IT WAS THE HARD WAY, cause you did not know what the hard way actually is, BUT NOW YOU DO, so there is NO EASY WAY IN THE FUTURE ANYMORE, you fucked it up, SO FORGET ABOUT, and deal with whats in front of, AS ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU ARE GOING TO GROW UP – YOUR FUTURE IS BEING DECIDED BY OTHERS RIGHT NOW, SO ‘RIGHT NOW IS YOUR FUTURE’, putting it off is simply to accept that you have ‘NO BETTER future option’…

TOB.

To change the mood a little, lets switch over to something a little drier, shall we…

Now this next little bit is a follow on from the start of this post, specifically answering further questions based on that dialogue. These questions clarify, add to, and so attempt to refine your understanding 0f what the fuck I’m talking about by pushing past your basic, middle class consumer language and pattern reactions of a child. It is all real but I’m only answering the relevant questions to this post from several different people, and I make no attempt to separate out the different student types, abilities or styles of gift, which are actually used to condition the answer, however it should all be obvious enough, even if you did not ask this question yourself, there are several different of the most common types used below.

REMEMBER – YOU EXIST AT A SLAVE ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, SO REPETITION IS ALL YOU HAVE AT THE START, EVERYTHING IS A ‘PATTERN’, YOU ARE NOT THINKING YOU ARE LEARNING AND REMEMBERING PATTERNS, WHICH IN TIME WILL LINK TOGETHER AND TRIGGER KNOWLEDGE – EMBRACE THE REPETION, FOR ALL BUT A FEW OF YOU IT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN LEARN ANY-BLOODY-THING! 

Why do you hate ‘society’ so much, SOCIETY PROTECTS US?

No it does not, it just makes you think that – go outside now and look for a policeman guarding your front door, WONDER WHERE THEY ARE EH? But we don’t hate society, society controls the animals, we hate what society does to GIFTED FOLKS, as society stops you developing yourself out of need, by trapping you in childhood as a ‘human right’. The top of your society knows this, knows their is a secret world above yours even in day to day life, but its ‘not for you’.

Your society is anti-evolutionary, designed around the concept of stability, so its about control and the use of carrots and sticks, SO YOUR SOCIETY FEEDS CHILDREN DRUGS TO KEEP THEM COMFORTUABLY DUMB, like you. YOUR SOCIETY LEARN LONG AGO THAT THE ANTI-HEROIC STEREOTYPE IS THE BEST FORM OF THAT CONTROL, the fake BADDIE at the festival, or hook-up culture, or drug culture, or drinking culture, makes you think you are cool, but you are actually one of millions of TOOLS, consumers who have to buy class cause they don’t have any, just like you.

SO KNOW RIGHT NOW SOCIETY = WESTERN CONSUMERISM, not democracy, not liberality, not class, not morality, not decency, EVERYTHING IS PACKAGED UP FOR ‘YOU TO BUY’, which makes it shit by definition, AS IT BECOMES ‘MASS-MARKET’. But you think you are CLEVER, COOL, EXCITING, ADVENTUROUS, instead of one more middle class consumer killing time before you go mad in a care home, screaming at the nurse walking you to the toliet before you piss your pants, again, when you no longer have any value to that society, and YOU HAVE DISAPPEARED, like all the sad old folks in the italian care home who where left to starve to death during Covid, and nobody gave a shit, cause they had no money…

Its all a load of bollocks, but its what everyone does, so you do it too, BECAUSE YOU ARE A HERD ANIMAL, YOU NEED TO FIT IN – NEVER BELIEVE YOUR SOCIETY PROTECTS YOU, I COULD HAVE YOU KILLED TOMORROW FOR 5k, thousands of people could, and I’d never do a days time for it, AS IT WOULD BE ‘ACCIDENTAL’. You only believe this shit to comfort yourself in the night, LIKE YOU BELIEVE MOST LIES IN ORDER TO COMFORT YOURSELF AND GIVE YOURSELF ‘HOPE FOR THE FUTURE’. You are a ‘statistic’, NOT A PERSON, NOT AN INDIVIDUAL, you are a herd animal = TRY AND GET YOUR HEAD AROUND THIS, AS IT IS VERY USEFUL IN ORDER TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO ‘NOT BE LIKE THEM’, and ACTUALLY BE AN INDIVIDUAL INSTEAD.

FOCUS ON IT LIKE THIS – THERE IS ‘YOU’, AND THERE IS ‘THE RAMBLE’, but to ESCAPE THAT RAMBLE YOU NEED TO BE ‘US’, BY DOING WHAT WE DO – FOLLOW AN EXTERNAL CLASS SYSTEM WHICH IS ANTI-INFERIORITY, ANTI-SOCIETY, ANTI-SEWER, AND PRO-LIFE, LOVE AND POWER. Once you see it you’ll never go back to being them, to ‘queuing up’ in ‘the gutter’ for ‘scraps’, cause that is what you whole life consists of BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING, empty of a ‘meaning’ you don’t even fucking know exists – YOU ARE A COW IN A FIELD, YOU DO WHAT THE OTHER COWS DO, YOU REACT TO WHAT YOU SEE IN FRONT OF YOU. 

Your society is not ‘EQUALITY’, it is not ‘FORCED FAIRNESS FOR ALL’, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE AND HATEFUL – IT WAS TRIED IN RUSSIA MANY YEARS AGO AND KILLLED MILLIONS OF PEOPLE – IN YOUR WORLD IT MEANS THE ‘LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR’. Your concept of SOCIETY has REGRESSED, which is a SHAME AS IT WAS INVENTED BY PEOPLE WHO WERE WAY BETTER THAN YOU SIMPLY TO SEPARATE YOU FROM ‘THE ANIMALS’, because they understood CLASS as not ‘ENTITLEMENT BY BIRTH’, THEY UNDERSTOOD AS AN INHERENT QUALITY, BY BIRTH OR OTHWERWISE. That nuance is now perverted to mean whatever who attacks it wants it to mean out of thier own vested interests TO RAISE THEMSELVES UP THAT SAME LADDER, so if your version helps you then you support it, other wise you would not agree, as YOU ARE CLASSLESS… 

CONSUMERISM ‘IS’ A CHOICE OF YESTERDAY CAST OFFS SOLD CHEAP TO FOOLS SURVIVING ON CREDIT, because it distracts them from a truth that would otherwise crush them – SEE RELIGON IS NOT THE OPIATE OF THE MASSESS ANYMORE, ITS SHOPPING PRESENTED AS A DRUG, IN ORDER TO FEEL BETTER SIMPLY FROM ITS ‘EXPEREINCE’. Sad as fuck, YET YOU THINK THAT SHIT YOU BUY MAKES YOU SUPERIOR, you dork, SO ITS COMFORTS YOU, IN YOUR MIDST OF YOUR NOTHINGNESS – YOU ACTUALLY TEACH CHILDREN THAT QUALITY MEANS DRIVING A GERMAN CAR, OWNING BRANDED FRENCH CLOTHES, SMELLING LIKE AMERICAN WOOD, WATCHING FIXED BRITISH SPORT ON A MASSIVE KOREAN SCREEN WHILST DRINKING DUTCH BEER ON AN ITALIAN LEATHER COUCH!

THE MESSAGE WE WANT YOU TO GET IS DON’T BE ‘CLONE OF YOUR SOCIETY’ LIKE A SIMPLE CUNT, BE AN INDVIDUAL, BE AN ACTUAL BADDIE – BEFORE THE PROPOGANDA OF MEDICOCRITY CRUSHES YOU BACK TO THE CAVE. YOUR HERD DOES NOT PROTECT YOU, IT PROTECTs ITSELF, YOUR HERD IS ONLY INTERESTED IN YOUR UTILITY, YOUR SLAVERY…  

Why do you CALL US ‘NOTHING’ all the time, its DEEPLY INSULTING, and puts many people off before they have even started? 

Wow, an actual GOOD question for once, so brace yourself for the answer. By Nothing we don’t mean your level in consumer society, how much stuff, money, respect, power over others you have, buts thats what you think and so that is why you are insulted BECUASE IT THREATENS YOUR CHILDISH EGO LIKE A SIMPLE BITCH – you are an animal, no matter how ‘good’ you can FAKE BEING, you still judge all at the level of an animal, BECAUSE THAT BRIEF FEELING OF FAKE SUPERIORITY is your only LITTLE TASTE of GROWING UP.

So there are 2 reasons we call YOU NOTHING – 1. You need to understand where you are on the superiority mindstate is well and truly STUCK IN YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, and so lead you out of that mentally by understanding VERY CLEARLY that there are monks begging in the street in Thailand WHO FEEL SUPERIOR TO YOU, because you are a slave animal, SO ‘YOU ARE NOTHING’, BUT THEY ARE ALREADY SOMETHING. It is very useful when you expereince this ‘later’, when you are something solid instead of the internal vacum forever reacting before you even know what you think, CAUSE ‘YOU CAN’T THINK FOR YOURSELF’.

But 2. is the kicker – the correct phrase to use spiritually speaking is NOT NOTHING, ITS ‘EMPTY’, but no one serious EVERS USES THIS AT THE START – IT IS ONLY EVER EXPLAINED WHEN ‘YOU HAVE SOME LEVEL TO PROTECT YOURSELF’. See even if I explained Empty in 2 or 3 lines now you would run a risk of REALIZING THIS EMPTINESS IN YOURSELF, which would lead you into ‘depression’, AS WHEN ‘EMPTY’ BREAKS THROUGH INTO YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS BEFORE YOU ARE READY FOR IT, BEFORE YOU HAVE A CLASS SYSTEM TO HOLD ONTO AS A PLACEHOLDER FOR YOUR LAW, YOUR PURPOSE, you may fall into harms way. For example you never hear about this but many folks join this yoga class or that workplace meditation session and find themselves FEELING VERY BAD AFTERWARDS because they think this stuff is harmless, but its not AS IT CAN ACCIDENTALLY REVEAL YOUR ‘CRUSHING EMPTINESS’. 

So the reason we call YOU ‘NOTHING’ IS THAT IT GETS THE JOB DONE AS A STARTER FOR 10, without PUTTING YOU IN HARMS WAY, PARTICUALRY WHEN YOU ARE JUST READING THIS STUFF LIKE A GUTLESS PUSSY. We are here to help the ones who can be helped, not kill the ones who are too weak or too stupid to TRY EVEN QUICKER – I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THE ANIMALS, NONE OF US DO, BUT WE DON’T KIL THEM FOR FUN EITHER. 

I get the whole BIRDS CALLS IN THE JUNGLE now, thinking/talking as an ‘unconscious reaction’, BUT WHY DO YOU SAY YOU DON’T CARE WHAT WE THINK, HOW ELSE CAN WE COMMUNICATE WITH YOU, WHERE DO WE START? 

Already answered this question at some length above but try this instead – YOU ARE USED TO PEOPLE HUMORING YOUR INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE, so you think ‘small talk’ is a form of speaking, buts it not. SPEAKING HAS TO BE CONSCIOUS, YOU HAVE TO COMNSIDER IT FIRST BEFORE YOU SAY IT, judge the quality of it BEFORE YOU SAY IT TO HAVE ANY VALUE AT ALL, AS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY ‘IT HAS A POINT’. So the ONLY WAY WE CAN COMMUNICATE IS VIA ‘TESTS’, as those tests break your train of bird calls and make you think – THEY FORCE YOU TO BE BRAVE OR FUCK OFF. 

Easy enough now? EVERYTHING IS A TEST, BECAUSE OTHERWISE ITS NOTHING, LIKE LISTENING TO SOMEONE RANDOMLY VOMIT UP THERE FUCKING CHILDHOOD IN WAYS THAT ARE FUCK ALL TO DO WITH WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT, BECAUSE THAT IS ALL YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY – YOU SIMPLY DON’T KNOW JUST HOW FUCKING STUPID YOU ARE, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE THIS OR THAT RANDOM PHRASE OUT OF YOUR CATALOGUE OF CHILDISH SHITE IS ‘OK’, CAUSE YOU THINK ITS HIDES YOUR STUPIDITY, SO ALL YOUR SPEECH IS DEFENSIVE, AND SO WORTHLESS…

One of the greatest benefits to growing up is CONSCIOUS SPEECH OUT OF RESPECT NOT ONLY FOR ME, BUT OUT OF ‘RESPECT FOR YOURSELF’. If you don’t have that respect, shown as respect for others THEN YOU CLEARLY HAVE EVEN LESS RESPECT FOR YOUR SELF, so you are just one more simple cunt TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH YOUR NOTHINGNESS, amongst billions of others, spending you day buying shite, watching shite, thinking shite, fantasizing about shite you would never dream of actually doing – YOU WASTE MY TIME…

All this Elitism stuff comes back to being SCARY DOES IT NOT – WE MUST BE CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO BREAK OUR FEAR OTHERWISE WE ONLY EVER HAVE ONE OPTION FRONT OF MIND, OUT OF A ROTATING PATTERN CYCLE OF FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM, so how do we BREAK THAT CYCLE IN ORDER TO BE SCARIER THAN THE THINGS THAT SCARE US INTO ACTING ON THE NEXT REACTION IN OUR SEQEUNCE, HOW DO WE BREAK THE CYCLE? 

You are asking a COMPLEX question I have already anwsered and YOU KNOW IT – YOU ARE DOING IT TO APPEAR CLEVER TO YOURSELF AND SO BE ACCEPTED INTO ‘THIS CLUB’ CAUSE YOU APPEAR TO UNDERSTAND, but you don’t, YOU HAVE SIMPLY REHEARSED IT ENOUGH TO APPEAR ‘BETTER THAN’. You pass tests by having enough understanding to be able to rephrase what I say in a way that is clearly real for you, THEN I WILL BELIEVE YOU.

If you understood that question correctly YOU WOULD KNOW THE ANSWER IS ‘SUPERIORITY’ IN ALL ITS FORMS – THE FEELING OF SUPERIROITY ALLOWS YOU TO DISAGREE WITH YOURSELF AS ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ ARE BIGGER THAN THE ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOURSELF’, so you can break your train of thought AND SEE THE PATHETIC OBVIOUSNESS OF BEING A CHILD, STUCK IN AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX. You would already know YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS/EMOTIONS, those are things that happen to you as a function of MEMORY. But you want me to believe that this is all a function of self confidence, all about being scary which are side effects of SUPERIORITY, not the thing in itself, WHICH IS BIGGER THAN THAT – YOUR UNDERSTANDING IS PARTIAL.  

You can’t grow up by LEARNING THE ANSWERS OUT OF A BOOK, and you can’t pass tests that way – YOU MUST SEE GROWING UP BIG PICTURE, AND THEN YOU MUST LEARN TO ‘WALK THE LINE’ AS YOU WANT WHAT IS AT THE END OF THAT LINE MORE THAN THE COMFORTS OF A CHILD. Try harder, understand what you have said is a doorway into a much BIGGER ROOM OF UNDERSTANDING, it is not an end in itself TO KNOW THAT LITTLE – YOU MUST CONNECT THINGS TOGETHER SO THE VALUE OF THE WHOLE ADDS UP TO MORE THAN THE VALUE OF A COLLECTION OF PARTS = ‘THE WHOLE IS SUPERIORITY’. GROWING UP MUST CHANGE YOU – MUST CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK AND FEEL, OTHERWISE IT JUST ANOTHER EXAM YOU FAILED BECAUSE YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND ‘THE LESSON’.

THE GOAL OF THE LESSON IS NOT TOO ‘REMEMBER’ THE LESSON, THATS JUST ANOTHER ‘AI LEVEL PATTERN’ USED TO MATCH AND THEN ‘AUTO COMPLETE’ THE ANSWER ON THE BASIS OF THAT MATCH, TOO FILL IN THE BLANK SPACES IN YOUR RESPONSE THAT COME FROM YOUR BEST EXISITNG PATTERN MATCH WITH NO UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT MEANS. BUT ‘THE GOAL’ IS TO ‘REALIZE THE LESSON’, TO ‘MAKE IT REAL FOR YOU’, TO ‘SEE IT IN YOURSELF’, TO ‘RELATE’ TO IT, TO FEEL IT HIT EMOTIONALLY, LIKE A ‘LITTLE SHOCK’ OF ‘INTUITION’ THAT ‘FEELS TRUE’. THEN YOU DON’T USE PATTERNS ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU ARE SMARTER THAN AN ANIMAL NOW, YOU HAVE ACTUAL GNOSIS = AN UNDERSTAND ‘BEYOND PATTERN MATCHING’, TO FEEL ‘THE TRUTH’ OR ‘THE FAKE’…

So it is useful to understand, if you are GIFTED, your whole life should consist of this FORM OF COMMUNICATION, indeed you are not really communicating with your own kind unless it happens this way, otherwise its just BIRD CALLS – CHILDISH LINGO, teen speak, pointless codes learnt ages ago and re-used out of context, LIKE A CLEVER CUNT, who it not even aware of ‘the impression’ they are giving off. This is what to be UNCONSCIOUS OF YOURSELF MEANS IN REAL TIME, to be unaware of what YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING ‘BIG PICTURE’… 

THE INTENTION OF YOUR COMMUNICATION DOES NOT MATCH THE WORDS YOU SAY, but you just ‘hear the intention’, you don’t hear the words, sense your facial expression, feel you tone of voice, SO YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING WHAT OTHERS TAKE FROM IT – YOUR INTENTION AND THE RESULT OF YOUR PROCESSES OF THAT INTENTION ARE NOT THE FUCKING SAME, INDEED THEY ARE OFTEN THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU THINK THEY ARE BECAUSE THEY ARE APPROXIMATE CHILDISH PATTERNS YOU TRUST LIKE A FOOL AND SO NEVER CHECK THEM CONSCIOUSLY, AS YOU ‘ACT THEM OUT’ IN REAL TIME. Being a child is to be blinded by childhood…  

Why am I so instinctively SCARED OF YOU, why can’t I get passed that, why can’t I just say what I mean or even anything but lies? 

Because you think I know you better than you do, and you are right – THAT IS TERRIFYING, ALL YOUR GRUBBY LITTLE TRUTHES, IT IS THE WORST BLOCK YOU CAN HAVE, as you refuse to ‘face yourself’ cause you have made a life out of ‘excusing yourself’. The only way out of it is to ‘jump across the chasm of fear’, but you will need to be more scared of not jumping before you can do that as a child. Its a sad thing, as your chances are very low, AND YOU WILL FALL INTO HATING ME OUT OF FEAR, and I can’t be arsed with wading through that bollocks, so you have too, ITS A ‘FATE’ LEVEL ISSUE.

It will come down to the CONFLICT WITH YOUR CRABS in the end, whether you can get out of your bucket, THAT IS YOUR PATH, CAUSE YOU CHOSE IT, long ago and far away, and now you are stuck with it – THE HARD WAY. All I can do is SHOW YOU THAT UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, I’m not going to shock you into it, the numbers of your kind are against you, too many better than you, UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM – SO MAKE EVOLUTION WORK FOR YOU…

NO… I reject Evolution, I reject your view of the world as ITS CRUEL, WASTEFUL, WRONG, and I know I’m better than that, however much it works FOR YOU, IT DOES NOT WORK FOR ME – WE ARE ALL EQUAL. 

Sorry, EVOLUTION IS HARDWIRED INTO YOUR BIOLOGY, the only way you can reject it is to reject LIFE itself. Of all the cons your society uses, the obvious bollocks of equality is the worst, as its a form of social control that is used to dumb you down, keep you scared and poor. No one serious believes in equality because they know if it was true that the Human Race would simply NOT BE HERE, dominating at least the surface of this ‘3rd rock from the sun’. What you believe is against nature, IT IS AN INVENTION USED TO DEFINE GOOD, yet you don’t need to be told what good is, GOOD IS TO BE FREE, but you are not free, are you.

And in your case its worse than that, AS YOU ARE ‘LEFTWING’, so you still believe that all your equality makes you ‘better than’ morally, better than us, as that is the only taste of superiority you have, TO VIRTUE SIGNAL and belong to the herd of the good people, WHILST MAKING A TOTAL TWAT OF YOURSELF, cause how you are in private is written all over your face like one more little ‘Greta’, WHERE YOUR TRUTH MAKES YOU FEEL POWERFUL ENOUGH TO PUSH BACK YOUR OBVIOUS LONG TERM MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, even though your parents are glad you have a cause now, AS YOU ARE DOING MUCH BETTER.

Yes, you are ‘worthy’ but not out of any morality, you don’t have the class to be moral, YOU ARE WORTHY BECAUSE IT GIVES YOU A POWER THRILL OF ATTENTION, and a better position in the rank of your animal herd, or at least todays version, which if you had not notice has already ‘expired’, so it was never forever, barely 10years in fact. Funny when you look at history, and you see even clever populists sell left leaning morality as good, yet virtually all of it moves in a never ending cycle of the same revolutions, stop and starts that the Greeks wrote down 3 thousnad years ago, YET YOU STILL BELIEVE ITS ‘THE TRUTH’, instead of your own vested interests, little more than a footballl team you are supporting while they are doing well, but drop as soon as they are reulagated, LIKE A CUNT.  

Evolution has been kicking ass and taking names for several 100 million years, so I know which one my money is on, little girl, but tell me what is the next big cause you will need to support to feel powerful in your weakness, AS A LITTLE BIRD TELLS ME IT WILL BE ‘THE AI WARS’, as they will shortly destroy all your illusions of equality based on the success of western consumerism – YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO LOOK DOWN ON THOSE LESSER THAN YOU FROM A MINIMUM SAFE DISTANCE, YOU WIL SHORTLY GET TO BE LOOKED DOWN ON, and you current stable sitrep will evaporate, so then you will ‘rediscover’ EVOLUTION very, very quickly…

What is the GREATEST MISTAKE I can make? 

To LIVE IN HOPE – To cope by using ‘hope for the future’ as a comfort, whilst circling the drain on a day to day basis.

For some folks this trap is the entire 2nd half of thier lives, and the reliance on passive hope in order to sleep at night is all they have left.

HOPE STOPS POSITIVE ACTION, AND KEEPS YOU STUCK IN PATTERNS OF REACTION, BUT ACTION SOLVES EVERYTHING.You must understand independent ACTION vs pattern REACTON in yourself before you will see this in realtime, BUT EVERYONE MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THE FATE OF THE MARJORITY OF ANIMALS IS TO DIE LONELY AND BROKEN WHILST HOPING FOR BETTER, HOPING TO SAVED ETC.

Hope is not evil in itself, HOPE KEEPS VERY LARGE NUMBERS OF PEOPLE ALIVE EVERY DAY, so you can’t just take it away from them, YOU MUST REPLACE IT WITH SOMETHING BETTER – ACTION NOW, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE LED TO THAT. See the reason folks come to rely on hope in the future is that they believe that ‘ACTION IS HOPELESS’ IN THE NOW. So ALL BECOMES HOPELESS, and that is when death starts to look attractive. 

So what is the CURE FOR ‘LIVING IN HOPE’? 

There is no cure for THE HOPE DELUSION DIRECTLY, IT HAS TO BE BURNT OUT OF YOU – YOU MUST SEE THE STUPIDITY OF ALL YOUR COMFORTS.

There are ANTIDOTES FOR MANY THINGS IF YOUR ARE GIFTED, in terms of ENERGETIC STATES OF MIND – I HAVE GIVEN YOU ONE ABOVE – ‘CONTEMPT’, WHICH IS ONE OF THE STRONGER IF DANGEROUS WAYS INTO SUPERIORITY ‘PROPER’, cause that is why contempt exists, that is it evolutionary purpose. BUT THAT WON’T WORK ON FEELING HOPELESS NOW AND THEREFORE COPING WITH HOPE IN THE FUTURE, as that CRAP takes all your ENERGY, and CONTEMPT NEEDS ENERGY, INDEED IT NEEDS MORE ENERGY THAT MOST OF THESE STATES YOU CAN EVOKE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL.

But you ask questions like a child, so I WILL ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING – ‘HOW CAN I BE LED PASSED ‘HOPELESS”? 

By the use of ‘LUCK’, by the belief that yes, it all looks pretty fucking grim outside, and there is no way out, BUT I KNOW I’M ‘LUCKY’ cause I’m gifted, so I am also resourceful, which actually means I have help from forces I am not aware of, which actually means that these cunts should be more scared of me than I am of them…

That is how ‘YOU ARE LED OUT’ OF ‘HOPELESSNESS’, by the slow realization THAT THOUGH YOU WALK THROUGH THE VALEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, YOU FEAR NO EVIL, CAUSE ON A GOOD DAY EVIL FEARS YOU, AS YOU ARE THE MEANEST BASTARD HERE, AND IF I GO DOWN YOU ARE GOING TO DOWN TOO BITCH, BIG TIME. Then you will discover you don’t feel quite so hopeless anymore, cause HOPELESSNESS IS CREATED BY ‘HOPE’, SO YOU CAN STOP HOPING AND START ‘DOING’. 

Their is a big trick to this that has to be said to your face, but many can figure it out for themselves, WHEN THEY REALIZE THEY ARE ACTUALLY ‘HOPING FOR HOPELESSNESS’ – THEY ARE THE SAME THING. Can you – YOU THINK SOMETHING ‘WORKS’ AS A COMFORT, but it is not a comfort, at all, WHEN YOU REALIZE ‘YOU LOVE YOUR HOPELESSNESS’, BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOUR ‘FAKE HOPE’, which is a very thin wrapper over you hopelessness, designed TRICK YOU INTO LOVING HOPLESSNESS, WITHOUT REALIZING IT – YOUR ‘FAKE HOPE’ is actually HOPELESSNESS, it is what creates it BY MAKING YOU HOPE, but you have to kill your HOPELESSNESS FIRST, then your ‘lack of hope’ won’t hurt you, AS LONG AS YOU DON’T REPLACE 1 FALSE HOPE WITH ANOTHER ONE – YOU MUST ACT THE PART, not HOPE FOR IT. 

The life of a child is full of simple illusions like this TO MAKE YOU FANTAZISE – but YOU ARE HERE, AND IT IS NOW, DEAL WITH IT. To make this point clearly I will illustrate with a story from my childhood – however obvious it reads it meant to make a point to you ABOUT ‘MAKING YOUR OWN LUCK’. 

A very long time ago I was curled up in the fetal position while 2 older boys kicked me in concealed corner of the playground , and the thought crossed my mind that I HOPED they would get tired soon and stop kicking me, BUT AT THAT EXACT MOMENT, one of the boys stopped kicking me and started stamping on me, aiming for my head, AND I REALIZES IN THE NEXT MOMENT that was much more serious, and I HAD TO STOP THEM, as no one was coming to help. THEN ONE OF THEM STARTED TO LEAVE HIS FOOT FOR A FEW SECONDS AFTER STAMPING DOWN AS HE TIRED AND SHOUT TAUGHTS INSTEAD, and in the next moment I realize that was my CHANCE, SO I GRABBED HIS FOOT AND BIT HARD INTO HIS CALF, DRAWING A LOT OF BLOOD. And then they stopped, indeed when I stood up with a mouth covered in blood and produly told them I would now kill them both with a wide eyed grin on my face they actually RAN AWAY, cause I was obviously TOTAL FUCKING PHYSCO, and did not care what threats would happen in the future, THEY WERE GOING TO DIE RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and that ‘right now’ is what all of this story is about… 

That did not fix it of course and there where many other episodes over many years, BUT IN ALL OF THAT I NEVER, EVER FOUND MYSELF CURLED UP IN A BALL HOPING FOR THE BLOWS TO STOP AGAIN, indeed MY REPUTATION PROCEEDED ME WHERE EVER I MET – I NOW UNDERSTOOD THAT ACTION SOLVES EVERYTHING, so you act or you perish. JUST TRY NOT TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE PERSIHING IN THAT MOMENT, TRY AND SEE THE DANGER COMING, AND MAKE YOUR LUCK as a REFLECTION OF THAT DANGER, AS THAT IS WHERE YOUR LUCK ACTUALLY COMES FROM…

But do you understand this LESSON? – ‘COMFORTING HOPE’ MAKES YOU ACCEPT BEING A VICTIM AND SO THEY JUST HIT YOU EVEN HARDER. It all comes down to YOUR BUCKET FULL OF CRABS when you have chosen the hard way, so you must understand YOU ARE MAKING A FATE YOU DON’T WANT COME TRUE BY YOUR REACTIONS EVERY FUCKING DAY, simply because YOU CAN COPE with your SHIT VIA HOPE, AND SO CLING ON TO EVERYTHING THAT MAKES IT HOPELESS. 

HOPELESSNESS IS A STATE OF MIND YOUR CHILD USES YO STOP YOU CHANGING, so it does not actually exist – YOUR SITUATION IS NOT HOPELESS UNTIL YOU ARE ON YOUR DEATH BED, but if you PERSIST IN FEELING ITS HOPELESS THEN THAT DEATHBED WILL COME EVERY NEARER, EVERY DAY…

But what happens AFTERWARDS? I understand the energy of survival better now, I understand the need to use it to create LUCK, but what happens when it is not there, and you are all weak and stupid again, so THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS AGAIN? 

What an excellent question much as it has a very short answer – YOU MUST REMEMBER YOURSELF, BY REMEMBERING WHAT YOU DID, AND FEELING SUPERIOR BECAUSE OF THAT MEMORY.  In time that memory will become YOU ALL THE TIME, so you will never forget it, cause it literally ‘IS’ superiority. 

You must create a sense in yourself that remembers what has happened, and in the scenario above that is to hang on to the ‘moral superiority’ of THE VICTIM OVER THE VICTIMIZOR, and understand you can never go back to being the VICTIM, you must instead embrace the role of CONTEMPT, that comes from moral superiority. Get a tattoo if you want, but there are many ways to use the skill of evoking, as that is what this is – PRACTICAL MAGIC. 

These are natural states that you ALREADY HAVE, and already do in some small and SAFE fashion, so now understand you must do them when its dangerous also. This type of animal morality is energetic, BUT IT IS NOT FOR GLOBAL CAUSES, LEFTWING NONSENSE, it is there to PROTECT YOU – USE IT, AND USE IT BEFORE YOU PERISH AT THE HANDS OF OTHERS, AS IT MEANS YOU HAVE THE NATURAL RIGHT TO VICTIMIZE YOUR VICTIMIZERS, including killing them, much as that won’t be required for all but a few of you, KNOW THAT THEY HAVE FORFIETED ANY SPIRITUAL RIGHTS BY THEIR ACTIONS, SO THEY HAVE ALREADY ‘DISAPPEARED’ – THEY ARE BUGS WHO DIE ON A WINDSHIELD AS YOU DRIVE ALONG OBLIVIOUS TO THEM. 

And this is your EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY AGAIN, this is what it for, TO GET YOU UP AND OUT OF THE BUCKET – IT IS THAT EASY, WHEN YOU DO IT. Then all your comforts will disappear, as they will appear to you as what they already where – THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANTED.       

But what if CONFLICT CAN’T FIX IT, CAUSE ITS ALREADY HAPPENED, the event has passed and now I am stuck with it, TRAPPED BY MY GUILT?

The question you are asking is about SHAME, and as such is one of the most dangerous of all questions so great care has to be taken with the answer – sorry if this feels very formulaic. So all answers to SHAME QUESTIONS HAVE TO START LIKE THIS: 

FEELING SHAME IS A TEST YOU PASSED – IT MEANS YOU ARE GIFTED, WHICH MEANS THERE ARE 2 OF YOU, WHICH YOU MUST USE TO CREATE YOU CONSCIOUS 3RD PERSON OUT OF TO SURVIVE AND PROSPER. Take a moment now TO KNOW ‘YOU ARE BETTER THAN’ THE MESS YOU SEE LOOKING BACK AT YOU IN THE MIRROR, as the only reason you are stuck in this NOTHINGNESS is cause you have not grown up, yet.

SO BURN THIS INTO YOUR MIND NOW – YOU ARE SUPERIOIR TO THE FOLKS AROUND YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SHAME, YOUR SUPERIORITY REQUIRES NO FURTHER PROOF, HOWEVER UNREALIZED IT IS, IT HAS BEEN GIFTED YOU – IT IS THERE AND IT IS REAL . YOU ARE CAPABLE OF ‘A HIGHER LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS’ THAN THE OTHER 9 PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE, AND FOR SOME THAT WILL BE MORE LIKE  1 OUT OF 10,000 – THAT IS ‘YOUR RANK’ IN THIS WORLD, YOUR POTENTIAL LEVEL AND IT IS PRICELESS.    

DO NOT FORGET THAT WHEN YOU FEEL SHAME, USE IT TO ‘SMILE AT YOUR SHAME’ – IT IS YOUR FRIEND, IT IS TRYING TO HELP YOU GROW THE FUCK UP, DON’T REPRESS IT, ANCHOR IT TO YOUR MEMORY OF YOURSELF, CAUSE ITS ‘STING’ WILL PASS AND LEAVE WITH SOMETHING WAY BETTER!

SHAME IS THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO MAKE THAT CHANGE IF YOU ‘RESOLVE IT’ AND MOVE ON TO ‘BECOME YOURSELF’, BY RECREATING YOURSELF, AS YOU ARE NOT THE ANIMAL AND NOT THE SHAME, YOU SIT BETWEEN THEM, AND USE THE ENERGY OF THEM BOTH TO ‘BE YOURSELF’. You must move on FROM BOTH OF THEM BY BEING ‘THE 3RD FORCE’ THAT ‘DECIDES’, that is the classic way, AND THE WAY THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE. 

BUT SHAME IS THE ENERGY OF YOUR SELF-DESTRUCTION IF YOU DON’T RESOLVE IT, SO IF YOU COMFORT IT INSTEAD IT SIMPLY GROWS UNCONSCIOUSLY AND REPEATS OVER AND OVER AGAIN, UNTIL YOU START TO HAVE MAJOR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES BECAUSE YOU ARE AT WAR WITH YOURSELF.

UNRESOLVED SHAME DESTROYS MORE GIFTED PEOPLE THAN ANYTHING ELSE – it settles into your soul and concentrates like an acid to effect multiple aspects of your life BY PERVERTING WHO YOU ARE, WHO YOU NEED TO BE TO SURVIVE THAT SHAME. Amongst the most most pronounced are that is De-Sexes you, so you become androgious in both attitude and looks, plain before your time, which you then react to playing different ‘hyper sexual’ roles in brief spurts that you hate later. The energy changes effect your health most of all, with any number of random minor ailments combining to cripple you, trap you in the very low energy states of the ‘manic depressive’, controlled by obsessions, compulsions you don’t understand because they are NOT YOU. 

It is an insidious and brutal trap, BECAUSE YOU BECOME ‘ASHAMED OF SHAME’, of what to has done to you, and therefore socially awkward, which leads to becoming accident prone, prone to freakish behaviour where you try and over compensate by going to extremes SO YOU CAN ‘PROVE YOU ARE COOL’, when you are nothing like that that shit. This shows as YOU ‘CLING TO THE FAMILIAR’, and HATE ALL CHANGE, as those familiar roles comfort you that your SHAME IS OK, EVEN IF YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THAT FAMILIAR IS A CESSPIT FULL OF CREEPY CRAWLIES YOU DON’T WANT, cause it is better than the alternative.

But WORST OF ALL YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT ‘SHAME IS DESTRUCTIVE’, unlike many CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS LIKE CONTEMPT which build you, SHAME SEEKS TO DESTROY WHAT YOU THINK HAS CAUSED IT, even though that will not fix it either. The reason for this is THAT YOU HATE YOURSELF, and the quickest way for your child to kill you is get you to try and destroy others, BECAUSE YOU ARE ACTUALLY DESTROYING YOURSELF, INDEED THE PAYMENT FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF YOU TARGET IS USUALY YOUR OWN SELF DESTRUCTION ‘IN-ADVANCE’, and later on you will actually see that, but you won’t care, cause at that point you will have gone crazy, WHICH LEADS TO EVEN MORE SHAME.

So SHAME is a bit of shitshow, indeed MOST PEOPLE WHO GO END STAGE WITH SHAME HAVE VERY FEW OPTIONS THEY WILL CONSIDER BECAUSE OF SHAME. But the first thing you must do – RIGHT NOW – is see that this is what has happened to you, and RIGHT NOW – accept that you are somewhere on the shame spectrum. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT IT IS YOUR PROBLEM, and you willl need help to fix it, OTHERWISE YOU WILL PERISH FROM COMFORTING YOUR SHAME. See you can’t comfort shame, AS THAT COMFORT FEEDS YOUR SHAME, GROWS AND REPEATS IT – you must resolve it or PERSIH. If you can’t do this THEN IT IS VERY LIKELY YOU CAN’T FACE WHAT YOU SHAME HAS DONE TO YOU LONG TERM, as the shame itself is POSITIVE, but the slow motion train wreck it has made of your life is just TO HARD FOR YOU TO FACE – FACING IT FEELS ‘LIKE MENTAL SUICIDE’, as you have to accept the clossallal mistakes you have made.

If you are in this last catergory you will need to find some one to talk to WHO UNDERSTANDS, who not only does not judge you but is prepeared to put your shame to one side, to ignore it, in order to build your confidence IN TOTAL SAFETY, before it is addressed later, WHEN YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO DO IT, cause you now understand what you can do in other areas and STRANGLEY FIND YOURSELF WANTING TO CONFESS ALL YOUR SILLY SHIT AND MOVE ON IN ORDER TO GET TO THE GOOD STUFF. Obviously, once you accept the ‘poverty’ of who you are now BECAUSE IT COMES FROM UNRESOLVED SHAME, then its a lot easier to write the bitch off totally as having lost, SO IF YOU CAN DO THIS ITS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE QUICKER PATHS TO MORE SERIOUS SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT. But most can’t because of being so ASHAMED OF SHAME, of what shame has done to them, THEY CAN’T EVEN START, and sadly a signifiucnat percentage of the very gifted go to thier graves via this path…     

Back to your question, which is actually VERY SIMPLE as the ONLY REASON YOU HAVE ASKED IT IS BECAUSE OF ‘UNRESOLVED SHAME’. Your question is a nonsense otherwise, BECAUSE WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU KNEW NO BETTER DOES NOT MATTER, SO THE EVENT YOU TALK ABOUT ONLY EXISTS IN MEMORY AS ‘A LINKAGE TO SHAME’, particuarly if you now know that ‘SHAME IS PUBLIC’, so CAN’T BARE TO GO NEAR IT IN YOUR MIND – ITS AN ‘OPEN WOUND’.

DEAL WITH YOUR SHAME THEN FORGET IT OR USE ACTION TO SOLVE WHAT HAPPENS BECAUSE OF IT. The classic issue, amongst many different types of this issue is SHAME HAS BECOME YOU ‘KEY FEATURE’, so your entire EGO and hence LIFE is built on top of it, AND ITS BECOME A TOTAL FUCKING MESS BECAUSE OF THAT – REPETATIVE FAILURE, BAD LUCK, BAD CHOICES, BAD KARMA, everywhere you look, everywhere you go, FOR NO OTHER REASON OTHER THAN SHAME. And its slowly getting worse and worse – YOU NOW FAIL AT EASY SHIT YOU ONCE LAUGHED AT FOR REASONS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

The this leads to the other awful stereotype of your kind, followed by millions of you – YOU ENGAGE IN A SECRET LIFE TO HIDE AND COMFORT YOU SHAME, WHICH YOU THEN BECOME ASHAMED OFF, SO YOU ARE NOW TRAPPED INTO CONTINUING IT OUT OF THE FEAR OF THE SHAME OF IT BECOMING PUBLIC. Its all total bollocks – YOUR SECRET LIFE IS ALREADY PUBLIC, ITS WRITTEN ON YOUR FACE FOR ALL TO SEE, there is no value in hiding it or advertizing it, simply realize what has happened and stop, then TAKE ACTION TO DEAL WITH WHATTEVER HAPPENS WHEN YOU STOP THAT THREATS YOUR FUTURE, YOUR REAL LIFE, OUTSIDE OF THE FANTASY OF A SECRET LIFE THAT IS NOTHING LIKE YOU THINK IT IS. You are building sandcastles like a kid, but the tide will wash them all away like they were never there, and all will take on a dream like quality in memory, cause that all it ever was – A BAD DREAM.  

Bad choices don’t destroy gifted folks, WHAT THEY DO AFTER THOSE CHOICES TO COMFORT INSTEAD OF FACING THOSE CHOICES IS WHAT DESTROYS THEM. It is the classic mechanism repeated again – YOUR FAILURE TO GROW UP MAKES YOU CHASE EGO SAFETY AT ALL COSTS, TO FEEL SAFE, EVEN WHEN THE PRICE OF THAT SAFETY DESTROYS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE for shit you can’t even bloody remember – AND SHAME IS THE BIGGEST KILLER OF ALL, BECAUSE SHAME WILL, IN QUITE SHORT ORDER REVEAL YOUR ‘INTERNAL EMPTINESS’ QUICKER THAN MOST, and that empiness is what actually kills YOU = MENTAL ILLNESS.

But Trust me most in this, before you get to see it and use it as an actual comfort, from a seasoned observer of what happens to your kind, over and over and over again – YOUR SECRET LIFE IS ‘BORING AS FUCK’, it is #CRINGE, and when you take THE SHAME AWAY, the excitement of secrets that don’t actually exist, it will die very quickly – because you will feel that in real time. YOU BE ASHAMED OF THE BIG KID WHO MADE YOU WASTE HALF YOUR BLOODY LIFE ON IT – YOUR SECRET LIFE WILL BE REVEALED AS CHILDISH AND THEN HAVING CONTEMPT FOR IT WILL COME REAL EASY, CAUSE ITS NOT EVEN ANY FUCKING GOOD, NOT EVEN SCARY, NOT EVEN EXCITED, its all a bit fake, stale, ugly, pathetic, and sad, SO WHAT KIND OF STUPID, UGLY LOW LIFE CUNT DID YOU USED TO BE, EH?     

Yep, that all sound good in theory, BUT ITS NOT WHAT HAPPENS, MY SECRET LIFE HAS ‘MOMENTUM’ and I can’t stop it, I NEED HELP. 

No, you HAVE gone back to ASKING TO BE SAVED, and however silly it sounds you can only be HELPED AFTER YOU HAVE SAVED YOURSELF. This is the classic HOPE OF THE HOPELESS, because you have decided its all TOO HARD. YOU NEED THE ENERGY OF CONTEMPT AND YOU NEED IT NOW…

All I can do is refer you back to THE BUCKET OF CRABS, THE EVOLUTIONARY SEWER AS WRITTEN ABOVE. You must start there, AND YOU MUST START KNOWING YOU ARE GIFTED BECAUSE YOU FEEL SHAME, and to a lesser degree use where you already are on the spectrum of mental illness to remind yourself ‘ITS LATER THAN YOU THINK’. You have chosen the hardway, you can’t go back and decide to choose the easy way now, YOUR BUCKET OF CRABS WILL STOP YOU, even if you can do bits of the easy way already IT WON’T AMOUNT TO ANYTHING UNLESS YOU FINISH THE HARD WAY = EVOLUTION 101.

Even if you fix this or that secret life without fixing yourself you will just go back to it later, and end up with even worse shite than you had before – THAT IS WHAT ALWAYS HAPPENS, YOUR PROBLEM IS SHAME, NOT YOU CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCE, THIS OR THAT PARASITE, THIS OR THAT PARTNER…     

So it all comes back to EVOLUTION, that is everything FOR YOU, so why are there all these other ways to grow up and develop yourself, WITHOUT CONFLICT? 

The Hardway is EVOLUTION AS you UNDERSTAND IT, as it depends on CONFLICT WITH OTHERS TO CREATE THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO EVOLVE. The easy way is STILL EVOILUTION but it is conflict with yourself, and it can only be done after you have GROWN UP. The hardway does both to a degree, hence why we add spiritual stuff to the discussion of it.

The ONE AND ONLY BENEFIT to the hardway is that IT IS A SHORT CUT INTO DEVELOPMENT PROPER, because that development is forced on you in order to do it, otherwise you will never have the ENERGY TO DO IT, so you will only ever think about it, LIKE A CUNT. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH THE HARD WAY, WHICH FAR OUTWIEGHS THE BENEFIT, IS THE VAST MARJORITY OF MODERN FOLKS ARE WAY TO BIGGER PUSSIES TO DO IT, so they ‘cope with hope’ instead…

So I’m doomed them, this is it? 

Yep, like the majority of your kind – so accept that now – TELL YOUSELF THAT THIS IS THE HIGH POINT OF YOUR LIFE, ALL HOPE FOR BETTER THAN THIS HAS GONE, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE A TOTAL PUSSY WHO CAN’T DO CONFLICT, BECAUSE YOU HAVE DECIDED NOT TO DO CONFLICT, AS ITS ALL A BIT NASTY, SO YOU WANT TO BE A VICTIM, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Best get used TO IT, BUY YOURSELF SOME BOOKS ON MENTAL HEALTH, TYPE YOUR SYMPTONS INTO CHATGPT SO AT LEAST YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORDS THE DOCTOR TELLS YOU LATER ACTUALLY MEAN.

Then wait and see if anything ELSE happens, BECAUSE THE DIRECT INTERVENTION OF YOUR GIFT IS ALL THAT LEFT, for you. Just know that several of the others in your particualry sad little sewer, ones you STILL think are your friends HAVE DECIDED TO FIGHT THEIR WAY OUT INSTEAD, but they are smarter, so they keep thier mouths closed and LIE TO THE REST OF YOU STUPID LITTLE FREAKS – YOU ARE A WRITE OFF, what is the point of being your friend now, you no longer have any value left, do you eh?   

So how will my GIFT intervene? 

Yeah we are done here girl, just go back to coping with hope eh, thats the choice you have made, everything else is totally dependent on what is left of your gift, your energy, your class, so its personal. Try and forget yourself for now, realize that emptiness in yourself, and see what comes to you in your DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL – the price for the direct intervention of your gift will be EXTREMELY HIGH, way higher than price of doing conflict, so trust me you don’t want to know…

Thats it.

The only other comment I would make is that their is a type of gift on the what is best said quickly as on the ‘Witchy’ path that almost always fails, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THEY CAN ALWAYS GO BACK AND ASK AGAIN, CAUSE THEY BELIEVE THEY ARE HELD IN SOMETYPE OF ‘AFFECTION’, OR ‘SYMPATHY’, OR OWNED SOME ‘DEBT’, OR SOME OTHER LOADS OF CRAP. It is because YOU CURRENTLY BELIEVE THAT ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’, it is your superpower, so even though you have been told over and over that you are a boiled frog, and how bad you are is concealed by your child so YOU ARE ALREADY FAR, FAR WORSE THAN YOU THINK, but YOU STILL THINK that when your life is in ashes all around you THAT THEN YOU WILL ‘TRY’ so THEN YOU WILL BE HELPED.

The questions you are ASKING mean that is YOU, my dear. SO BE ASSURED, ME TO YOU RIGHT NOW – YOUR LAST CHANCE IS ‘RIGHT NOW’. After this point, often in a few short months you will be ignored, just one more postcard in the bin. NOBODY HOLDS ‘YOU’, WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME IN HIGH REGARD, not even you – YOU HAVE NO RESPECT SO YOU HAVE NO LOYALTY, even to yourself, YOU ARE CLASSLESS, and what you have done means you will deservce everything that happens to you, up to and including prison.

EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE – YOU ARE NOT BEING CLEVER, YOU ARE BEING GUTLESS, and it is the easiest thing to fix, once you realize your super power is killing you, just as I had to give up on mine many years ago, IN ORDER TO GET IT BACK 1000 TMES OVER LATER ON, after I GREW UP. Honestly, your only remaining value to us is as a cautionary tale, unless you can find away out OF YOUR SLOP BUCKET, but you are gutless, WHICH IS WHY YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH BEING COOL, BEING A BADDIE, CAUSE IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY A BADDIE THEN THAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ‘TRY’ AND BE….

However as a last gasp to ‘stabalize’ yourself you can FORM A GROUP OF 3, NO MORE THAN 4 of other gifted (you will know them as ‘performers’ rather than ‘peeping toms’), who have a ‘different energy’ to you, MUCH AS THEY MUST BE SAME SEX as you WHATEVER THIER SEXUAL OREINTATION IS TODAY. YOU MUST KEEP THIS SECRET, DENY IF REQUIRED AS YOU ARE STILL TOO SCARED TO DO CONFLICT. Over time the strength of that group, if you are lucky, may give you the ENERGY TO GET PAST YOUR PROBLEM – YOU ARE BOTH WILLING AND ABLE TO TRY, YOU WANT TO TRY, BUT YOU LACK THE GUTS TO GET OUT OF YOUR BUCKET OF CRABS. What makes the difference will be the common connection you have, what is the root of all this THAT YOU MUST ALL SHARE FIRST HAND expereince off, so you at least understand why you are here, AS THAT WILL ENERGIZE YOU. 

So I want to start now, today, WHAT DO I ACTUALLY DO AS A PROCESS EVERYDAY TO GROW UP, how to I look at this as a student who wants to study, do I need to work out what is right for me from all you have said, or is there always 1 place we start for everyone? 

You must choose one activity from each of 3 sets of activities, based on developing yourself (positive force), helping other who resist it, so you resist them (negative force) and helping the work flourish by working to improve, ‘modernise’ or spread the work for all (catalyst force). The sets of activities each contain sub-sets that are correct for your style of gift, so their is a choice of thing you could actually do, but most often there is only 1 activity out of these sub-sets that you will actualy do because it ‘appeals to you’, and that is what you do.

Then you switch between these activities either as a focused session or in everyday life as much as youy can – when you start to do them right the 3 forces created in the 3 separate streams will combine to boost your progress in 1 stream, as the energies created by those streams don’t care what creates them is not related to what they are used for. This is the reason for this approach, and why people who follow it make x10 faster progress than those who don’t – you can only create 1 type of force per activity, and if the other 2 are missing NOTHING IN THE WAY OF GNOSIS WILL HAPPEN, so you have to wait for the random creation of those forces or find a techer who will do it for you. 

Now this is not the answer you wanted, you want one simple thing that you can do in your spare time for a couple of mins and that magically works in a few days. Fortunately at the start that exists, and its CALLED ‘ENERGY WORK’ cause you energy will be very  very low. I have given you multiple ways to do this in order to make a massive boost to your level, INCLUDING A MJOR ONE – CONTEMPT FOR SOMETHING CONTEMPTABLE – which will go a huge way to get you out of your hole, if you do it. That contempt must be at a spiritual level to STICK and so you must use it correctly, RATHER THAN JUST INVENT SOMEONE OR TRY AND USE IT ON SOMEONE SAFE WHO IS TRYING TO HELP YOU, as then it will backfire, SO ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU PARASITES, YOUR HATERS, AS THEY DESERVCE THE SUFFERING THAT WILL COME FROM THAT. THEY HAVE MADE A VICTIM OF YOU, IT DON’T MATTER THAT YOU WANTED TO BE A VICTIM, THERE IS A MASSIVE PRICE TO PAY FOR THAT, IN THE MENTAL SENSE OF IT, energy does not care about your purpose, as your purpose is usally not what you think it is anyway… 

And yes, I help you in order to HELP MYSELF, but that does not matter as I still have to help you for that force to work – THIS IS WHY ALL TEACHERS TEACH, THIS IS WHAY ALL THE MODERN GENIUSES LECTURE TO THIER STUDENTS – IT MAKES THEM SMARTER. We are not good in the sense you undertand it at all really, kinda ironic don’t you think, THAT YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING. So I do genuinely WANT YOU TO SUCCEED, but if you don’t I just move onto the next person WHO HAS A BETTER CHANCE THAN YOU, that is why it works this way, and no one gives a fuck about you until they have sometime and energy invested in you, THEN THEY WILL HELP YOU MORE SIMLY BECAUSE YOU ENERGETIC VALUE IS WORTH THAT TIME, AS THAT MEANS MOVE ENERGY BACK TO ME.

We get that this does not fit with your equality dominated world view, BUT THAT IS CAUSE YOU ARE STUPID. We don’t have a that view, we are actually part of the evolutionary process itself, so you can use it or burn, BUT THIS IS WHY NO ONE CARES UNTIL YOU CAN PAY YOUR DEBTS BACK TO THE FOLK WHO HELP YOU, as until then it is too draining to even try and help you, SO NO ONE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR NO REASON, FOR NO RESPECT, FOR NO FUTURE VALUE, as that is just stupid. So you must be worth it, or get out of the way of those are are, which is also why we, all spiritual folk, HATE DOGS IN A MANAGER THE MOST, and tend to make the exception in our none intervnetions rules to intervene in thier sordid little lives, as to us you are evil, so we treat you that way, and bad things happen.

Do you undertsand what a good student does now? They get ‘organised’, and they remember to do things out of habit and discipline, by first creating the energy to power their development, AND THEN USING IT FOR THAT DEVELOPMENT, NOT ON ‘FEELING A BIT BETTER’, for a few moments, like a kid…

Why are you so focused on EVOLUTION, is it all not a bit of a side show once you get passed the evolutionary biology of the reasons behind the way we are? 

Ok…. lets try this again:

YOUR EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY EXISTS TO DEVELOP YOU ‘NATURALLY’, GIVEN THE ENCOURAGEMENT OF YOUR ELDERS AS A CHILD, AND WHEN USED CORRECTLY WILL GET YOU QUITE FAR INTO SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT ITSELF, BUT ITS PRIMARY PURPOSE IS TO GROW YOU UP. But You FAILED TO GROW UP, so you are stuck in a world of ANXIETY, so you have DEVOLVED, NOT EVOLVED – GROWING UP IS ABOUT POWER OVER ANXIETY, WHICH MEANS THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY – POWER OVER YOURSELF, which feels like POWER OVER YOUR IMMIEDIATE ENVIROMENT. 

Understand these basics – YOU ARE AN UN-NATURAL CREATION, YOUR MENTAL HEALTH is poor by defintion, CAUSE YOU ARE ANXIOUS ALL THE FUCKING TIME, LIKE A BIG KID! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SURPASSED THIS STAGE BY THE TME YOU WERE 16 Y/OS! So everything about you is wrong, your life is not what it is supposed to be, its all one long cul-de-sac forever going round and round in ever decreasing circles, so you have devolved into some sad little freakish thing that simply copes whilst trying to have enugh fun/relief in order to cope, WHILST HOPING FOR BETTER DAYS IN THE FUTURE, instead of inactng better days now, SO YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT VARIOUS FORMS OF SENSORY THRILLS COMBINED WITH THE OBLIVION OF NUMBNESS = FREAKSHOW.  

This failure is not just down to your parents, your school, your environment, IT IS DOWN TO YOUR SOCIETY, WHICH PRO-ACTIVELY WANTS TO KEEP YOU IN CHILDHOOD FOREVER. All animal level societies are built on SLAVERY, otherwise they could not exist, and the version we have now has ‘persisted’ through multiple cultural changes BECAUSE OF THE TECHNOLOGICAL DOMINANCE OF ‘THE WEST’, FIRST VIA THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION OF THE BRITISH, AND LATER BY THE OPENING UP OF SLAVERY WITH THE REALISTIC CHANCE TO ESCAPE IT FROM THE USA, ‘THE AMERICAN DREAM’. The moral decline that comes with that is a repetative pattern that has happened over and over again, and the current cycle is coming to its end, AND WILL SHORTLY BE PLACED BY THE KEY MECHANSIM THAT HAS ALWAYS DRIVEN ITS REPLACEMENT – WAR. 

The ways slaves are managed best is to KEEP THEM COMFOTUABLY ‘DUMB’ OUT OF FEAR, SO THE CURRENT VERSION OF ORGANIZED SLAVERY WANTS TO MAKE BEING A CHILDISH SLAVE AS PLEASANT AS POSSIBLE VIA THE USE OF ILLUSIONS, LIKE GAMES, TV, DRUGS, FANTASY, SEX, VIA THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD OF DELIVERY – THE INTERNET. The main way your society has acheived this is by ABOLOISHING CLASS, AND REPLACING CLASS WITH WEALTH AND FAME – NO ONE ASPIRES TO HAVE CLASS ANYMORE, PEOPLE ASPIRE TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS, IF THEY ASPIRE TO ANYTHING AT ALL…

EVERYTHING FOR YOU, RIGHT NOW IS EVOLUTION – EVERYTHING YOU READ ABOUT SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT THE EASY WAY REQUIRES THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY GROWN UP AND HAVE SOME CLASS OUT OF THE SUPERIORITY OF AN ADULT. Without that class, that power none of it makes any sense to you, does it, because you just a silly little kid, looking for the next distraction or ‘focusing on work out of fear’, so you can’t even control your own fuckng mind. Later you will surpass this Master Pattern, and it will slowly be replaced by everything related to the big Spritual Master Pattern, which is that everything is PART OF THE ENERGY EQUATION, much as I have already explained how that works basically with the Rule of 3, but that is all in the future WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO CONFLICT!

You are in an evolutionary sewer and its killing you, get out of it, now, by accepting you have BETRAYED YOURSELF, YOUR FUTURE, YOUR GOALS, YOUR REAL SELF BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO GUTLESS TO ‘TRY’, SO YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF. So TRY, and lets see how good your luck is eh, THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY NAPOLEON ALWAYS ASKED HIS STAFF NOT TO TELL HIM HOW CLEVER THIS OR THAT GENERAL UP FOR PROMOTION WAS, HE ASKED THEM TO TELL HIM ‘IS HE LUCKY IN BATTLE…?’ Just like my personal illustration in the HOPE answer above, ‘LUCKY’ MEANS THAT HE HAS HELP ‘IN THE MOMENT OF CONFLICT’, not before, not afterwards, BUT ‘YOU HAVE TO TRY’, TO ‘BE IN THAT MOMENT OF CONFLICT’ before you will be helped, given your GIFT CAN STILL REACH YOU, and that you had one to start with, of course…

Remember this lesson above all else – GOD LOVES A TRIER, AS LONG AS THEY TRY AGAINST THE ODDS OF CONFLICT, NOT IN THE DREAMY COMFORT OF ‘OFFLINE EGO SAFETY’, CAUSE NOTHING WILL COME OF THAT – it is the starter pattern you need to push back against your stupid patterns of the past and your fear of the future. So FUCK THE FUTURE, your life is happening NOW, bitch, SO UNDERSTAND WHAT NOW MEANS – NOW IS WHAT OCCURS TO YOU, AROUND YOU, ABOUT YOU IN THE NOW, NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU REMEMBER OF THE PAST OR WORRY ABOUT IN THE FUTURE – NOW MEANS YOU ATTENTION OF WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW, not what you thought would happen now!    

Jesus! I think I understand CONFLICT now, cause I understand TRYING now, even THE EVOLUTIONARY PRINCIPLE NOW! Why have you never explained it like that before???

 I have explained it like this to ‘YOU’ to your TYPE OF GIFT, so the particular phrases used where designed to trigger YOUR CATHARTIC MOMENT of REALIZATION, of the TRUTH BEHIND THE WORDS, rather than just the LOGICAL MEANING, which does nothing but prepare you for the MOMENT OF TRUTH.

One of the key differences betwene my 4th Way approach and many of my peers is that I TAKE ‘TYPE THEORY’ SERIOUSLY, so I can read the style of phrasing you need to hear, much as I try and keep it as close to the mainstream as I can – EVERYONE NEEDS A ‘SPECIFIC TRIGGER’, but its all based on the same PAYLOAD. But don’t worry about that for now, I’m just bragging in a spiritual way – TEACHING PEOPLE VIA WORDS IS AN ART FORM, THAT CAN BE ONLY BE MASTERED IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THE DETAILS, CAUSE THE DEVIL THAT STOPS YOU LEARNING, OFTEN BY JUST A HAIRS BREADTH, IN THOSE SAME DETAILS…

Should you care to know YOURSELF, I read your type as a particular types of KILLER where your gift came from your ancestors having to fight to survive when attacked at home, they were not ‘warrioirs’, they were trying to survive and had nowhere to run to – fight or die. This means you have a natural aversion to all conflict, but when pushed into it you will discover you not only know how to fight, you are actually quite good at it, because you have done it before, and will qucikly take some level of SELF CONFIDENCE from that conflict, which is its Evolutionary purpose, in your type.

The other related type of killer is the DEFENDER OF THE FAITH style, who has come to conflict via THIER MISSION, AS A PURPOSE, and many many proffesional soldiers come this route, SO ENGAGE IN CONFLICT AS ‘A DUTY’, much as they don’t really like it, so are not warroirs in the real sense of the word. The classic type of Killers who naturally love conflict are the warrioirs who seize on it as their superpower in childhood, or the ones who used it as a career because much as they did not like it they were technically profiecint, say in the use of a weapon, so it made them ‘special’ the classic aestetic beauty of the master sword fight, which becomes a spiritual practice in itself.    

Outside of Killers other types can be very different, with the other main types of witches, priests, healers, philosphers all have specific ways into to conflict that need slightly different triggers. A priest type for example always needs a Moral Imperative, so you are BAD against thier Goodness, then they will be compelled to fight out of what is called ‘SPIRITUAL INDIGNATION’. Healers are similiar as they all come to conflict in the sense of ‘cutting out the cancer’, the killing of bad fo rthe benefit of the good, but it tends to work differently in practise as they usually STRUGGLE WITH WIELDING THE KNIFE in the first instance, so usually have to be led to it via belief in the ‘kill or cure’ imperative, so VIEW conflict is a last resort AFTER THEY HAVE TRIED TO RESOLVE IT nicely, so they need a stepping stone into conflict.  

But most types of Witch need fighting to be FUN in a Visceral way, so are more drawn to the fake conflict of animal sex, and so thier gift often tries to teach them actual conflict via this mechansim, whilst they are still terrified of actual conflict, unless they wise up first via understanding conflict via Empathy – witches need to understand confict is ABOUT WINNING, not just taking part, as that is ‘failure made into comfort’. Many need to be led passed that failure before they understand what winning feels like, much as they then discover THAT IS WHAT THEY WERE TRYING TO DO THE WHOLE TIME – they discover sex is a power game they have been doing wrong the whole bloody time, and so settle for attenion sex instead, a side effect taken as 1st prize instead of the ‘booby trap’ of the ‘booby prize’, which slowly destroys them. 

The main failing of all Gifted usually come back to failing to understand the type or way into conflict that suits you, OFTEN VIA BEING TAUGHT THE WRONG WAY FOR YOUR GIFT, so they fail constantly and become very unhappy, whilst still knowing in themselves that they are BETTER THAN THIS. See most gifted folks know they want to be on the ‘otherside of the rainbow’, they just can’t get passed thier BLOCK ABOUT CONFLICT, as they don;t understand what their GIFT IS TRYING TO TEACH THEM, and so make a life out of making the best of failing, even though they can see it is dstroying them every fucking day…

The reason folks like me try a one size fits all mechansim as a wy into conflict, like CONTEMPT, is that it gives you a place to stand just before ‘conflict starts’, much as contetmpt works for most type of gifts BECAUSE THEY CAN RELATE THIER SPECIFIC TRIGGER INTO CONTEMPT for thier types, so CONTETMPY WORKS AS A SORT OF ‘UNIVERSAL ADAPTER’ IN FRONT OF CONFLICT, as there are many many different ways to evoke contempt and if you try hard enough you will find the one that works for you.

And yu are right, so don’t say it – I could of explained Contempt better in the intial paras, but you must react to the use of contempt WITH YOUR WAY INTO IT, as you should not think about what contempt means to others, JUST YOU, and then you will get there much much quicker, INDEED IT MAY EVEN REVEAL YOU TYPE TO YOU, but don’t be surpirsed if you get that wrong if your trigger uses GOODNESS over BADNESS, as there are too many similiar ones and frankly goodness in the evolutionary, real sense of the word that exists is different to the fake goodness of your society, which does not exist.

Amazing! But frankly fuck everyone else, TELL ME ABOUT MYSELF? 

Sure but even though you have just passed a decent little test it has to be done to your face – GIFT TYPES can be strange and even though you like the sound of your DEFENDER gift it comes with a few more interesting KILLER issues to balance what you think is good about it.

So frankly your style of gift is a little challenging because of its side effects – YOU WILL FIND YOU SPEND A GREAT DEAL OF TIME BEING CONFLICTED ABOUT CONFLICT, of just ‘siezing the day’ and going fuck it, you are ‘dead to me’, before changing your mind tomorrow. As a woman you will also tend to struggle with the masculine aspects of that gift, and spend sometime bouncing around in terms of your style of personality, even you sexual orientation unless you know what to do in those moments, in the sense of what suits your gift against what you think makes sense. So your gift type has some aspects that are not logical given your life expereince, because you have VERY LITTLE LIFE EXPEREINCE, COMPARED TO YOUR GIFTED ANCESTORS, so much of what you ‘want to do’ will feel alien, unknown to you, SO YOU WON’T DO IT UNLESS PUSHED.

The limited life expereince is a massive thing in type theory so is worth a quick comment now – YOU THINK YOU KNOW LOADS OF CRAP BUT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE IT, YOU HAVE JUST WATCHED IT ON A SCREEN. So for example in this modern age the world is full of grown adult men who spend hours of thier life everyday engaging in what they think is combat via some game, but playing COD for 12hrs a day DOES NOTHING IN TERMS OF ACTUAL CONFLICT – THERE IS NO ENERGY IN IT, AS ITS A FANTASY ON A SCREEN. In the modern age the line between a childs game and a real conflict is so blurred that many many people now think they know enough about life from these fantasises to try and tell you what is right and wrong, WHILST BEING BLISSFULLY UNAWARE ITS ALL JUST ANOTHER INCORRECT PATTERN THEY HAVE ABSORBED FROM YET ANOTHER FANTASY, so never actually happened to them.  

What they are actually doing is WANKING OFF TO CARTOON in a sitting position while eating, drinking and taking drugs, and so develop the same skills and expereince asscoiated with that life expereince of a ‘little narcisitic wanker’, WHO CAN’T DO ANYTHING REAL. Even the ones who are clever enough to know they have never actually shot an AK47 will still say they understand how to act in a CQB, but yet simply don’t know what its feels like, how to hold it, reload it, what happens when you pull the trigger, how loud it is, how much it jumps around in a very specific way for that type of AK47 (there are many many different types to the point that their are no actual AK47s left in the world anymore), let alone have any idea what combat actually smells like, particualry up close and personal – ITS ALL TOTALY BLAND, VANILLA, and even if you just got to smell actual conflict once you would understand how little you know about it.

The artifcats of being a big kid are all a round you, with the anti evolutionary imperatives of your society growing worse by the day, yet you STILL THINK ITS OK TO BE A BIG KID, and the mental health crisis engulfing the youth of the western world is down to something in the fucking water, like a total dork. But knowing your type of GIFT is often the golden key for many who are brave enough to start to see those patterns in thier own lives, and so where they have FUCKED IT ALL UP, over and over again, when the correct way forward has been staring in the face this whole fucking time.  

Ok, but why don’t you teach type theory at the start then, why don’t you present different types of practise for different types as standard? 

Because there are huge issues with THE ABUSE of type theory, with the main one being the tendency of all Big Kids to pick a type they want to be, RATHER THAN WAIT TO BE TOLD WHAT YOU ARE. You have to be told, you can never work this out for yourself at the start – you don’t really know yourself even in the basic real sense unless you can face up to what you actually do – for example you would never of guessed that you have a specific types of killer as your GIFT, as you are naturally averse to conflict, and have no life expereince, its that simple, SO YOU NEVER GET IT RIGHT BY YOURSELF.

To answer the follow up questions before you ask them:

A. Why does no other spiritual path use type theory, why are they all one size fits all? Because they are not, they are all either 1. For one type of gift only, thier founders type, 2. Type theory is hidden in all the various sects, where a later master of a different type keeps the payload of the original but changes all the methods, eg Buddhism proper (say Pure Land in this case) is for Priests and Healers, but Rinzai Zen Buddhism is for Killers 3. Type theory is explictly stated but is couched in different language, say as your gift relates to one of the 3 forces like Hindusim or a broader Essence type like the 4th Way proper. 4. Type theory is used to catergorise you as Wrong, Unworthy, even Evil, which is what most modern variants of THE BOOK regligons do, even the mystical stuff, so for example everyone that does not conform to 1 type is shunned, so is preached against, eg the infamous use of Christianity to exterminate the Witch class in Europe that lasted 300 years – 200,000 accused with over 70,000 executed, with approx 70% being women, much as toward the end there are many more men. 

B. So why do you only focus on Hedonists, are you saying any type can be a Hedonist? Yes and No, for various reasons – 1. most hedonists are either Killers or Witches, and they are under represented by suitable systems for them, so tend to fall through the net 2. Many types of Gift can never maintain the hedonism of youth into even thier 20s, say Healers or Priests, 3. Some smaller types like Philosophers or types associated with ‘Animism’ which you virtually never see in the Western world outside of Scandinivia, can pretend to be a lot of things 4. Type theory works in a positive way for most Hedonists, but it de-motivates most other types, hence its not used on them, so most Killers and Witches either relate or come around to those types by INDENTIFYING WITH THEM IN DAY TO DAY LIFE, even if they are a male witch or a female killer. 5. there are far more Dual Gifts amonst Hedonists (Gifted from both parents) than normal spirted folk, as Dual Gifts have a much rougher time in early life which makes you harder to reach, often impossible, and that needs skill, patience and expereince to get passed, SO YOU HAVE TO BE ATTRACTED TO THIS STUFF 6. Attitude is everything when you start out TRYING TO GROW, so its very useful to know in advance WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO ‘BE’ if you are to stop trying to be a hedonist..

C. What if I hate my Type, what if I can’t face it? Don’t matter, you are what you are, you don’t have to live it, but you do have to know where you law comes from, otherwise nothing will ever work for you, everything will continue to work against you. Once you understand this, then you understand Type theory, as then you wil understand what YOU WILL BE HELPED TO DO, and what you will be STOPPED FROM DOING by making a mess of it, as that is what your LAW means – YOUR LAW, THE POINT OF ALL TYPE THEORY, IS THE CRUCIAL BIT TO GET EARLY, AS IT DEFINES THE REST OF YOUR EXISTENCE…

All of this is simplified so you can understand it, and much of the darker side is removed, eg the need to feed your gift what it wants etc, but I’m sure you get the point by now – YOUR TYPE OF GIFT IS WHAT YOU ARE ‘IN ESSENCE’, what you do with that in day to day life is WHO ‘YOU’ CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO BE NOW, BY COMBINING BOTH THE NEEDS OF YOUR ANIMAL AND YOUR GIFT TOGETHER, so they work for you, NOT AGAINST YOU. There are some darker type of gifts, and what some other people call infections that are not from your Ancestors, they happened to you in this life, but no one, even me talks about this stuff, as its pointless, there is no system for that stuff outside of Medieval magic, and so you are best not to know, sorry.     

I understand a lot now, mainly because I pay more attention to how I feel, so I sense the pain of my inferiority just before fantasy or smugness kicks in to hide it and take my energy into a daydream, but I can’t stop it, I NEED IT TO MUCH, AS I’M NOTHING IN REAL LIFE, and now its worse, SO I WANT FANTASY MORE? 

Thats progress, but you clearly refuse to embrace the ELITISIM, THE SUPERIORITY YOU NEED TO REPLACE INFERIORITY – TO BE ‘SCARIER THAT WHAT SCARES YOU’, which is better said as BIGGER THAT WHAT SCARES YOU – so you have to FACE ‘YOUR EMPTINESS’ INSTEAD. 

So…… you now know you are in A TRAP, and the only way you can cope is to fantasize like a cunt, WHICH WILL MAKE YOU WORSE. So now you also understand why WE WANT TO GET YOU TO THIS POINT ASAP, as this is when you are ready to change. WE GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO DO THIS, AS YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ANY OF THIS THAT SERIOUSLY UNTIL YOU SEE YOU OWN PATHETICNESS, that none of this is cool, YOU HAVE TO DO IT ‘TO COPE LIKE A KID’. It will happen by tself of course, but most boiled frogs only wake up at THE END, and by then we don’t even bother trying to help you, YOUR ENERGY HAS GONE, so its cruel…

As previously stated it is best not too dwell on your emptiness, as without a different stratergy to cope with your emptiness it will lead to mental illness very quickly – THE MORE YOU REALIZE YOU FEEL INFERIOR ALL THE TIME, THE EMPTIER YOU WILL FEEL, so anything, even the most hateful shit is better than ‘NOTHING’, so you will tend to start taking industrial qauntities of ‘HAPPY’ drugs, paticuarly if ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’ for your big kid, which leads to phycial health issue too.

See this is the moment WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO REALIZE YOU HAVE ‘CHOSEN DEATH’, when you realize that all of these COMPENSATIONS FOR INFERIORITY are the same as embracing a big black spider to your chest and letting it bite you AS A COMFORT, but you can’t AS YOU ARE TOO WEAK NOW, so you HAVE to make it COOL, otherwise THE EMPTINESS WILL OVER WHELM YOU. You think YOU CAN STILL GO ON THIS WAY, but you can’t, as you question means you stand in FRONT OF ‘THE GATES OF THE HARDWAY’, for possibly the last time. 

So this is the moment WHEN YOU ‘EMBRACE LIFE’ INSTEAD, cause you realize THAT YOU HAVE TO FIND ‘YOUR EVOLUTIONARY PATH INTO ELITISIM’, VIA ‘EMBRACING CONFLICT DUE TO YOUR OVERWHELMING CONTEMPT’ for WHAT ‘THE OTHERS’ HAVE DONE TO YOU IN ORDER TO DESTROY YOU, CAUSE IT MAKES THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THERE OWN METAL HEALTH ISSUES – YOUR CURRENT EXISTENCE IS BASED ON OTHERS LIKING YOU BECAUSE YOU GIVE THEM A MOMENTARY CHEAP THRILL. And that is all you are now, UNLESS YOU CHANGE – YOU COPE BY MAKING ‘NOTHING’ FEEL LIKE ‘SOMETHING’, WHICH MAKES YOU EVEN MORE ‘NOTHING’, SO YOU NEED EVEN MORE OF WHATEVER ‘SOMETHING’ you can get.

Its tme to REPLACE THE FAKE COMFORTS OF INFERIORITY with the REAL COMFORTS OF SUPERIORITY. If you don’t do this there there is just YOUR EMPTINESS, and you won’t be able to stand that, so will fail, AGAIN. That is it – YOU MAKE THE CHOICE NOW – YOU CONTINUE TO TRY AND HEDGE YOUR BETS or YOU MAKE THE CHOICE TO ESCAPE VIA CONFLICT, even though you don’t think you need to…

In your case (which is not for everyone because I know you and your type) I will add this – certain fatalistic things you set in motion many years ago ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE and YOU WON’T LIKE THAT. Many people around you have already made thier choices – SOME TO FIGHT THEIR WAY OUT, and SOME TO BURN, TO GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP AS ITS ALL THEY HAVE. This is YOUR BUCKET OF CRAPS, so you are about to expereince EVOLUTION IN THE RAW, as YOU ARE IN THERE WAY, so YOUR CHOICES ARE ABOUT TO BE MADE FOR YOU BY OTHERS, unless you MAKE THEM YOURSELF.

Try and understand – you ACT OR YOU GET THE RESULTS OF OTHER PEOPLES ACTIONS, as your FATE is currently viewed as little more than COLLOTERAL DAMAGE, and that just sad as fuck FOR A BADDIE LIKE YOU, don’t ya think bitch – ‘HEDGING YOUR BETS’ IS NO LONGER AN OPTION, indeed YOUR SILENCE MEANS CONSENT FOR AN OPTION YOU DON’T ACTUALLY WANT, just cause you are TO GUTLESS TO ACT. That being the case, YOU REALLY SHOULD ‘RUN NOW’, as that is the only choice left for the gutless…

You are at the POINT OF DECISION, THE CRUNCH, WITH NO RETURN, at least TRY AND MAKE A CHOICE, eh, for once – THIS IS YOUR SEWER, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR BUNCH OF CREEPY CUNTS, but you are not cinderalla, you are not in Kansas now, your TEFLON COATING SEEMS TO HAVE WORN AWAY OVER THE YEARS, and SADLY THE BILL HAS COME DUE. But this is what you wanted – THE HARDWAY – so now you get to find out what that means, FOR YOU.

You gotta love EVOLUTION, particualry when its this random, this nasty, this chaotic, this unpredictable, this much of a mess, BECAUSE THIS ALL MAKES IT YOUR BEST CHANCE, cause most of the OTHERS are too fucking terrified to do shit AND ARE SIMPLY WAITING FOR OTHERS TO IT ‘FOR THEM’. Ain’t no point in crying about it, ITS YOUR FAULT – OTHERS HAVE ALREADY MADE SURE YOU ARE ‘TO BLAME’, even though you try and keep out of it, some folk having been covering themselves for ages now, AS THIS SAW THIS COMING WAY BEFORE YOU DID…

But TAKE HEART – there is not a single INNOCENT SOUL amongst you – so you have no ‘moral conundrum’, so you have no need to worry about what you need to do, as you are all ‘publically guilty’ as hell, there is no need to ‘speak the truth’, as ‘your truth’ is long since shot to fuck by your actions, SO WHY NOT HAVE A GO EH, BEFORE YOU ARE FORCED TO REACT TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS SLIGHTLY LESS GUTLESS THAN YOU.

Just something to think about, BUT KNOW FROM WHERE AM STANDING, GRADING ON THE CURVE OF WHAT ‘USUALLY HAPPENS’ to folk like you, it all looks like evolution is starting to work, at least for some of you, which is nice, for them – I know who my money is on now. Yes, I DON’T MEAN TO ‘LAB RAT’ YOU, more to mock my own ‘spiritual conceit’, but when you have more than 3 gifted types in a ‘slop bucket’ (the animals don’t count as they are cannon fodder), the ‘3 Body Problem’ does kinda fuck any ability even I have to predict the outcome. I don’t just mean the kinder ones change sides and become nasty, or the nasty ones become morally superior – that always happens – I mean the introduction of the bizarre, random events that are already happening mean a long odds bet is the best that even I can do…

Get it now? – however interesting this gets, I actually support none of you. Cold, eh, but you gotta LOVE EVOLUTION, so remember this is ‘what you wanted’. Well, at least you understand what ‘NOBODY’ IS COMING TO ‘HELP’ actually means now – much as that is not actually true, YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IT IS, otherwise nobody will help you, so its easy really, eh..?  

Can you give me something else now, SO I CAN COPE WHILST I DO THIS CRAP, I need all the help I can get? 

Yeah, I don’t think you understand yet…

This blog is nothing but that help you need, BUT YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE HARDWAY, YOU CANNOT GO BACK TO THE EASY WAY NOW, AS THAT WILL JUST ‘COMFORT YOU ENOUGH TO COPE WITH YOUR SEWER FOR ANOTHER DAY’.

That is the point of the EVOLUTION 101, its THEM OR YOU, so it don’t matter if you are the star of the show, or a parasite, or a peeping tom, or some random cunt who just stumbled in at the back and is clearly not to blame for any of this – YOU ARE ALL TO BLAME, ITS NOT A SEWER YOU ARE PART OF, YOU ARE THE SEWER, SO ONLY YOUR DEPARTURE WORKS… 

If I give you help and teach you how to do magical stuff like Grounding, Lightwork, Soundwork, even just how to stop your OVERTHINKING, then you will just use it to the cope with the panic attacks your sewer causes, SOME OF YOU WILL EVEN DELUDE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE EVEN ‘COOLER’, but ALL YOU ARE DOING IS STILL ‘COPING WITH HOPE’, like a BIG KID – YOU MUST ACT, COPING IS A DEATH SENTENCE, COPING IS JUST ONE MORE SPIDER BITING YOU SO THAT PAIN NUMBS ALL THE OTHER PAINS, AT LEAST FOR A BRIEF MOMENT…

But try not to worry babe, the way you have set this up in your mind means the first hurdle has been jumped – so given what the others have already done you already know unless YOU DO SOMETHING NOW you are automatcially on the WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY, and you don’t want that. SO USE YOUR ‘EVOLUTIONARY IMPERATIVE’, AS THAT IS WHAT IT IS DESIGNED FOR – ‘FEAR OF WORSE THROUGH INACTION’ OVERPOWERS ‘THE KNOWN FEAR OF ACTION’. Your biology wants you to act AS AN INDIVIDUAL TO SAVE YOURSELF, everybody else will need to look after themselves, as THE GROUP ACTION OF YOUR HERD has BETRAYED YOU. ITS THE CLASSIC SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST time, AIN’T NO POINT BEING KIND, HONEST or COOL NOW honey bunny, its last man standing stuff, much as may still need that sub-group of your own kind to help with THE CONFLICT YOU CLEARLY CAN’T DO BY YOURSELF…    

So however much you need the feeling of ‘COOL’, of your ‘delusional secret cleverness’ to compensate for your guilt, the only option you have at this point is TO ACCEPT THAT SECRET CLEVERNESS MEANS THE ‘RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY’, as to go on with the CLEVERNESS OF A FAKE BADDIE means you are just one more lower middle stereotype of your age, there are millions of you coke heads right now in this exact same shitpit, who have suddently found themselves totally out of thier depth as ‘A WITNESS TO A CRIME’, IF NOT ‘A VICTIM’ OF ONE, which you then did nothing about, so YOU ARE NOW LIKELY TO BECOME ONE OF ‘THE PERPETRATORS’ OF SAID CRIME – ITS A SEWER, THIS IS HOW SEWERS WORK, you are NOT in a ‘secret society’ you dork, its a flophouse for stoners, ITS FUNNY, as keeping secrets is clearly beyond any of you…

See your particular ‘TRANCHE of WEIRDOS’ has always leaked liked a sieve, a couple of the more self righteous types actually gave you up RIGHT AT THE START, literally years ago, so ‘HANGING TOGETHER’ was never much of an option for you twats, it all about ‘hanging separately’ now. Try and understand this, however well trodden and predictable this path is, how even the cops will yawn at your desperate cringeness, and chuckle at the BANALITY OF YOUR ‘PROTESTATIONS’, as it will help you choose REAL LIFE, for once. See all of this tedious crap has made you NUMB, DUMB, AND STUPID – YOU HAVE BEEN LULLED INTO A VERY FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU HAVE ‘GOT AWAY IT’, but your evolution is about to cure you of that, so lets ‘spin the wheel of fortune’ eh…

Do you get it yet – I’M HELPING YOU, via this wonderful, slow motion exercise in style, that may or may not reach you in time to be even remotely effective, BUT ITS JUST ‘IN YOUR FUTURE’ RATHER THAN NOW – the reason you need the HARDWAY is that there is fuck all point in helping now, is there, YOU ACTUALLY NEED EVOLUTION TO WORK ITS MAGIC, just like I did, once upon a time in the WEST, AS THAT IS HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR ‘YOU’…

Just remember the BASICS OF EVOLUTION 101 – TRYING + CONFLICT via CONTEMPT = GOOD LUCK = CHANGE, when repeated = GROWTH. Your are in a sewer, YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS DOMINATED BY LUCK, nothing else matters except the EVOLUTIONARY IMPERATIVE to CHANGE YOUR LUCK, otherwise your ‘SOMETHING NASTY’ IS GOING TO ‘GET YOU’, and it may look a lot like a spider the size of a lawn mower…

This is the Hardway, what did you expect? NEO Buddhism, Social Media Self Help, Master Overthinking in 3 Easy Steps, Daosit Yoga for Beginners, Open your 3rd Eye with Aya-fucking-huasca in your very own multiday sacred ritual ceremony that 1/2 price if you book now, as practised and authenticated by Sting himself in the heart of the Amazon Rainy-day-Forest at the hands of Ancient Masters whos ancestors where fucking Spacemen from the time of the ‘Demiurges’ great, cleansing flood, who some how survived the destruction of Atlantis to become one of the lost tribes of Isreal who made it all the way to Londinium, whilst secretly guiding George Washington to set up his very own Brave New World, complete with its very own Fake, Freemasonic Egyption Power Needle, while the real one sits rotting away on the side of the Thames to this day?

LOL – Welcome to the Jungle baby, if it all looks very familiar its cause you MADE IT YOURSELF – I don’t mean to ‘mock you’, but you really should see this all as one BAD, SAD, MAD little JOKE now, that has long since got out of hand to become a pile of festering sludge full of creepy crawlies you don’t even know. So LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, before that stink gets so bad you will never be able to wash it out of your hair, and that shaft of light shinning down from that last little open trapdoor above you vanishes as it slams shut, and all you can see are those anonymous envious yellow eyes moving around you in the TOTAL BLACKNESS…

See even YOU will struggle to make that harsh reality EVEN REMOTELY COOL, GLAMOROUS OR FUN, so however much you enjoyed digging that SECRET LITTLE ‘CAVE OF ADVENTURE’ to push your ‘OWN LIMITS’, realize you are now standing in the GRAVE OF YOUR OWN FUTURE, and nobody gives a fuck BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME. THE HARDWAY IS DESIGNED FOR FOLKS WHO ‘CAN’T DO CONFLICT’, so watch out for the ‘Minions’, as those are the always the little cunts you need to take out first, help you get your ‘eye in’ before you are ready for the big smelly ‘fish’ that need to be ‘deep fat fried’, but practise on the cocky dorks, the harmless gobshites repeating bad words on chat groups like gen-z trash, most of them literally fall over themselves running away.

Yes, you are not like me, but with a little effort you will find you can a lot closer to me than you ever thought possible – YOU NEED TO BE ‘A HEADHUNTER’, and the ones you want are those that have tried to destroy you, before the folks you have tried to destroy find you first – THIS IS CONFLICT, GET USED TO ‘CONFLICT LANGUAGE’, GET USED TO NOT BEING LIKED, GET USED TO BEING FEARED, GET USED TO NOT BEING A VICTIM, GET USED TO BE NASTY FOR FUN, AND SO GET USED TO NOT BEING OLD YOU, anymore.

Old you has made a total fucking mess of your life ON PURPOSE, so best kill the bitch before she returns the favour AND FINISHES THE JOB… 

Why am I so STUCK IN MY HEAD, why can’t I think straight, why am I desperate to be COOL, desperate to AVOID MISSING OUT, just THINKING, THINKING THINKING in circles, but that I never DO anything about, ITS ALL JUST THE SAME SHIT, EVERYDAY, IN EVERY WAY..?

Ahhhh… a Zen question – I love Zen questions me, look the BEAUTY OF THEM, SO HOPE YOU DON’T MIND IF I IGNORE YOUR CHILDISH INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE AND EXPLAIN THAT YOUR ACTUAL QUESTION – WHY CAN’T I THINK STRAIGHT – IS ABOUT ‘MENTAL TIME’. 

But I can’t give you a Zen answer, either the animal version – Monkey Mind – or the high art version – Dogens the ‘Time Being’ – as the first one is useless outside of placeholder concept for beginner Zen students and the second one is beyond even most Zenmen, much as its one of those ultimate Zen tests..

So… given I’m trying to help you, I’ll explain what you are actually asking IN A ‘RELATABLE WAY’, indeed I will explain what is the wisdom behind ‘Conscious Orders’, as that technique for thinking is the best way into the ‘CHANGING THE WAY YOU ENGAGE WITH TIME MENTALLY’. See, you think like a stupid little kid, and I mean you are RETARDED, because you don’t understand TIME CORRECTLY, you understand TIME LIKE A CHILD, so you USE TIME to do little more than wank off as a COMFORT, unless forced into using it ABSTRACTLY out of FEAR OR DESIRE.

Yes, your question is about TIME – THE WAY YOU RELATE TO AND HENCE USE ‘YOUR TIME’ AS A MENTAL PROCESS. So stay with me here – most gifted folks have no chance of getting this at the first sitting, BUT YOU ARE GIFTED AT A HIGH LEVEL, and I’m going to make it EASY FOR ‘YOU’, YOUR TYPE TO ‘GET’, PRINCIPALLY BY SKIPPING OVER THE HARD BITS AND LINKING IT DIRECTLY TO THE MENTAL ILLNESS OF OVERTHINKING, as you call it.

To be clear we are NOT TALKING ABOUT ‘CLOCK TIME’ which is the speed the earth revolves around it own axis, and to a lesser to degree revolves around the sun, and we are not talking about UNIVERSAL TIME, which is a CREATION OF SPEED AND DISTANCE and is a whole other thing totally unrelated to CLOCK TIME. Yes, TIME IS NOT ONE THING, but today we talk only abount MENTAL TIME, as that is one the GREATEST FAILINGS OF A CHILD – GROWING UP LITERALLY INVOLVES RELATING TO TIME DIFFERENTLY, SO YOU NO LONGER WASTE YOU TIME ON COMPULSIONS – YOU CONTROL ‘MENTAL TIME’ CONSCIOUSLY. 

So, Mentally, in your head right now Time exists as 3 things: CONTEXT/SUBJECT/PASSAGE. It is your ‘organic’ childlike understanding of these 3 things that needs to change, so that is the focus, NOT the creation and dilution of time by your level of BEING (what we call presence), NOT the stopping of time by the stopping of your mind turning (no thought), SO IT VERY EASY AND WILL BE PHRASED IN A WAY THAT YOUR TYPE SHOULD GET VERY QUICKLY…

To set the scene – CONTEXT means ‘WHO YOU THINK YOU’ ARE IN ‘THE MOMENT OF THOUGHT’, so for a child is totally unconscious OTHER THAN YOUR MOOD, SUBJECT means what you are ‘TRYING TO THINK ABOUT’, if you try at all as most thoughts are TRIGGERED NOT SELECTED, much as for a child this will be distorted by the reliance on automatic packet reactions that PROCEED OUT OF CONTROL, and PASSAGE means TIME AS DISTANCE AWAY FROM NOW, which MEANS LEVEL OF IMPORTANCE to A CHILD, as URGENT THINGS ALWAYS DOMINATE THE MORE IMPORTANT BUT MORE DISTANT THINGS.

These are your problems, AND BY FAR THE BIGGEST OF THE 3 IS THE FIRST ONE – WHO YOU REMEMBER YOU ARE EVERY SECOND – AS CHANGING THAT WILL CHANGE THE OTHER 2 BY ITSELF, as long as you remember YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE OTHER 2 IN A SPECIFIC WAY ASWELL, so don’t cling onto TIME AS ANOTHER COMFORT, which becomes a kind of SUPER-EGO, unless you understand the correct was to relate to the Subject and Passage of Time, THAT GO WITH THE CORRECTED CONTEXT OF TIME. Therefore it is wise to change all 3 together, so the correct Subject and Passage of Time are embedded in the New Contect of time, ie the new Context of Yourself, much as you can still do them later if you are so weak you are easily confused by complex instruction. 

Even with this BASIC LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING you should already be able to see the problems with THINKING LIKE A CHILD – You have no sense of self outside of your mood, SO YOU DOMINAT CONTEXT CHANGES CONSTANTLY WHICH MAKES YOU UNCERTAIN OF ANYTHING, AS YOU ALWAYS ‘CHANGE YOUR MIND’, YOU have virtually no ability to think about what you want for any period of time because you LET YOUR PATTERNS SELECT YOUR THOUGHTS, AND YOU PRIORITIZE YOUR THOUGHTS BASED ON FILLING TIME ‘NOW’, you don’t ‘plan the use of time’, SO YOU SIMPLY FILL YOUR LIFE WITH SHORT TERM, USELESS BOLLOCKS JUST CAUSE IT IS RIGHT IN FRONT YOU, AS A COMFORT, unless ‘CONSTANT ANXIETY’ BUILDS ENOUGH TO TRIGGER YOU INTO ‘LAST DITCH ACTION’ = FUCK-UP = FAILURE = LAZY, STUPID LITTLE KID, SCARED OF THEIR OWN SHADOW.

This is not just what A CHILD DOES, this is actually WHY YOU ARE STILL A CHILD – YOUR SHITTY THINKING IS THE TRAP THAT DAMNS YOU TO ‘PERMANENT CHILDHOOD’ – your flakey mood driven CONTEXT leads to Daydreaming SUBJECTS that trigger a false sense of urgency about PASSING time with more and more trivial comforts ‘now’ is actually more important that anything else, inlcuding your wealth, health and happiness, BUT MOST OF ALL MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE PERSONAL POWER THAT UNDERPINS ALL 3 OF THOSE LIFE GOALS, AS PERSONAL POWER = ‘FREEDOM’.   

To explain – 

1. CONTEXT OF TIME – This means the Size or Length of THE TIME WINDOW you are holding in your head at any given moment THAT YOU REMEMBER OF YOURSELF, YOUR REPUTATION, YOUR HISTORY, YOUR GOALS, so child ONLY holds RIGHT NOW, usually no more than 10secs of now ACROSS LAST SECS/PRESENT SECOND/NEXT SECS as there context which is SET by there limits of thier vision as WHO THEY ARE = YOUR IMMIDIATE ENVIRONMENT. This QUEUES UP THE TYPE OF PATTERN REACTIONS that are AVAILABLE, WHICH ‘COLOUR ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON A SUBJECT THAT IS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT ENVIRONMENT’ LIKE AN ‘EMOTIONAL DYE’, which MATTERS AS YOUR ‘OLD CONTEXT’ IS WHAT YOU COMPARE ‘NEW THOUGHTS’ AGAINST in order to judge there VALIDITY, there RELEVANCE TO YOU, TO ‘DISCRIMINATE’ = ACTUALLY THINKING INSTEAD OF REACTING.

This means the CONTEXT OF YOUR CHILDISH THOUGHTS IS ALWAYS WRONG/TINY/TEMPORARY, as you force THIS SMALL SITUATIONAL CONTEXT OF ‘YOUR SELF’, OF WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW DEFINED BY YOUR MOOD/REACTIONS TO ENVIRONMENT, YOUR SCOPE, YOUR HISTORY, ONTO YOUR THOUGHTS ‘INCORRECTLY’ – YOU ARE MUCH, MUCH BIGGER THAN THAT, BUT ALL YOUR HISTORICAL CONTEXT THAT YOU SHOULD COMPARE AGAINST IS LOST, AND REPLACED WITH A CHILDISH MOOD SWING, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ‘FORGOTTEN THE SUM OF YOURSELF NOW, EARNT OVER A LIFETIME, BECAUSE YOU NEITHER LIKE NOR ‘ACCEPT YOURSELF’ IN THIS MOMENT. See a child must do loads of ‘things’ to FIND COMFORT, as you take no comfort from JUST BEING the positive SUM OF YOURSELF AS YOUR REPUTATION, YOUR HISTORY AND ACHEIEVEMNTS IN THIS MOMENT.

2. SUBJECT OF TIME – This means WHAT TIME PHASE YOU ARE ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT AS PART OF THE SUBJECT, the FOCUS of the time phase of the Subject of your thoughts, THE FOCUS ON A THOUGHT EITHER in the past, present or future, so a childish adult always thinks about THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, virtually never the PRESENT, as they think with PATTERN REACTION WHICH ARE MEMORIES. They let thier pattern reactions handle the present virtually all the time, WHICH IS WHY THEY CANNOT CONTROL THEIR THOUGHTS, and often seek extreme expereinces in order to pull them back into the now simply because their INTENSE, EMOTIONAL OVER THINKING is driving them mad, SO A FORCED, EXCITING ‘NOW’ GIVES THEM RELIEF, EG DRAMA/DANGER/SEX. See YOUR CHILD IS GETTING YOU TO FOCUS ON THOUGHTS OF THE PAST AND THE FUTURE IN ORDER TO DISTRACT YOU FROM THE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT NOW. 

All tendency to day-dream comes from this tendency to think ONLY OF THE PAST AND FUTURE, because those thoughts are unreal, SO YOU MAKE THEM UP – ONLY THE SUBJECT OF ‘THE NOW’ IS REAL, BECAUSE ONLY THE NOW IS NOT BASED ON MEMORY, SO YOU ARE EXPEREINCING IT FOR REAL, NOT AN IMPERECT, DISTORTED MEMORY, THAT PROBABLY NEVER HAPPENED IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU ONLY EVER EXPEREINCE REALITY WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE PRESENT AS A REALITY, SO YOU MUST RELATE THE PAST AND THE FUTURE TO THE PRESENT, FIRST, NOT ‘REMEMBER THE PRESENT’, SO YOU SEE THINGS FROM YOUR PAST AS ARE THEY ARE ‘NOW’, THINGS IN THE FUTURE AS THEY ARE NOW, SO YOU DEAL WITH NOW, NOT IMAGINE WHAT YOU SHOULD OF DONE THEN OR MIGHT DO LATER.  This way everything is anchored in REALITY, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS START FROM NOW AND RETURN TO NOW…   

3. PASSAGE OF TIME – This mean ‘how time has passed’ and ‘will pass in the future’, it is about THE PROJECT MANAGERS view of time, AND IS ALMOST ENTIRELY ABSENT IN THE MIND OF A CHILD AS THAT IS WHY IT WASTES ALL ITS TIME ON DEGREES OF OVER THINKING AS A HABIT – children have no idea of the the next 5mins before that 5mins starts, THEY SIMPLY TRY AND FILL TIME BY REACTING TO OR AGAINST WHATEVER IS IN FRONT OF THEM. The only time a child engages with planned time is out of ANXIETY – FEAR OR DESIRE – BECAUSE A CHILD IS AFRAID OF EVERYTHING AS ITS BASELINE STATE, so a CHILD does not want to plan anything, SO INSTEAD OF SEEING TIME AS THE MOST PRECIOUS OF ALL RESOURCES THEY HAVE TO SEE IT AS A PRISON THEY ARE TRAPPED IN, INSTEAD. 

This rapidly leads to the GREATEST OF ALL ISSUES FOR A CHILD – THAT TIME IS A MEASURE OF URGENCY, SO A CHILD BECOMES CONTROLLED BY ‘URGENCY IN TIME’, INSTEAD OF ‘URGENCY OF IMPORTANCE’, indeed many of you reading this obvious FLAW IN YOUR NO CHARACTER will even struggle to relate to the cold word on the page, as YOU THINK ‘OF COURSE URGENCY IS A FUNCTION OF TIME, NOT IMPORTANCE – IMPORTANCE IS TIME! This means you are seriously ill,  and ALREADY HAVE A DEGREE OF MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SEPARATE URGENT AND IMPORTANT AS CONCEPTS – your life will become dominated as you age by the anxiety driven urgency of menaingless things, SO YOU LIVE IN A STATE OF CONSTANT CONSCIOUS ANXIETY, with out which you just collapse in a heap and cry. This is one of the most common fates of the low to mid GIFTED WOMEN, and if anything its actually getting worse…

SO TRY NOW AND SEE THAT THE VAST MARJORITY OF THE THINGS YOU RUSH TO DO EVERYDAY ARE ONLY IMPORTANT IN ‘TIME PRIORITY’, NOT ACTUAL PRIORITY TO YOUR BIG PICTURE, as this will go a long way to stopping your OVER THINKING – YOU WILL REALIZE THERE IS NO NEED TO DO 90% OF YOUR LIFE NOW AS IT HAS NO REAL PRIROTIY, AND YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON THE OTHER THINGS THAT SHOULD DEFINE YOUR CHARACTER, OTHERWISE YOU ARE JUST A SLAVE TO TIME, AS YOU ARE ‘IMPRISONED BY TIME’ – THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO SLAVE ANIMALS, THEY ARE CONTROLED BY ‘FAKE URGENCY’, BECAUSE THE CHILD INSIDE YOU USES FAKE EMOTIONAL URGENCY TO CONTROL EVERY FUCKING THING YOU DO, AS A REACTION TO YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, AS THAT IS WHAT PRODUCES ALL THESE FAKE EMOTIONAL REACTIONS YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW…

Now, this is a long answer but before I finish I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING – a CORRECT UNDERSTANDING OF THE ABOVE SHOULD GIVE A DOOR INTO ONE OF THE GREATEST REALIZATIONS A CHILD CAN EVER HAVE – YOU LIVE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, EVERYTHING IS INSTINCTIVE, EVEN THOUGH MOST OF IT IS FALSE, LEARNT INSTINCTS, YOU EXPEREINCE ALL AS AN UNCONSCIOUS REACTION BECAUSE YOU CAN’T MANAGE MENTAL TIME. It does not matter what you are capable of, of what you should have, of what you could DO – BEING A CHILDISH SLAVE ANIMAL MEANS YOU ARE STUCK BEING A RETARD FOREVER, INDEED YOU WILL GET WORSE – YOU ARE A RETARD BECAUSE IT COMFORTS YOU, TO FOLLOW ONE PATTERN REACTION AFTER ANOTHER WITH NO THOUGHT TO THE OTHER OPTIONS, AS A CHILD DON’T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTIONS IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION!

This is what HAVING ‘NO LEVEL’ OF CONSCIOUSNESS MEANS, SO THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE DUMB AS FUCK, A VEGETABLE….

So to FINISH – OVERTHINKING IS A SYMPTOM OF ALL OF YOUR 3 FAILURES ABOVE, and the cure for that is THE TRANSISTION FOR CHILD LIKE TIME, TO LIVING IN SOME FUCKING DREAMY DAZE WHERE YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT, INTO AN ADULT WHO ACTIVELY USES TIME AS THE GREATEST OF ALL FINITE RESOURCES IS THE PROACTIVE USE OF ‘CONSCIOUS ORDERS’, AS THEY REPLACE YOUR NEED FOR THE COMFORT OF OVERTHINKING. See those old wives tales are actually true – THE BEST WAY TO PICK YOURSELF AND STOP MOPING AROUND LIKE A KID IS DO SOMETHING ELSE, BUT YOU MUST ADD DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR THOUGHTS BY CONTROLLING THEM IN TIME!. 

My issue is I have no relationship with DEATH – I actually, particuarly at specific ‘party times’ think I’m going to live forever, WHY? 

WHAT A STUPID FUCKING QUESTION – The Truth – YOU ARE A CHILDISH ANIMAL AND YOU HAVE NO GIFT, at all… Sorry.

You also have a serious drug problem, and need multiple lines of cocaine to get through the day, but you see that as HAVING MORE FUN, cause you a Baddie – YOU ARE NOT A BADDIE, YOU ARE A PUSSY TRYING TO BE A BADDIE BY TAKING DRUGS. Understand what that means, eg YOU LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD, and no one cares, your wife only stays with you for the kids, and will leave you when she FINALLY FINDS the right work hookup WITH ENOUGH money, even if they are old and ugly, and I don’t blame her, much as she is a total whore with a drug problem almost as big as yours, and she hates your beloved mother. Sorry again… 

If it helps find yourself on this list – out of a random sample of 100 in the Western world, all ages and both sexes – ONE OF THESE IS WHAT IS GOING TO KILL YOU, and Yes, more people Kill themselves than die of homicide, and the numbers would be higher if you add in the accidental sucides in order to shield your loved ones from even more grief, so add another 1 to suicides where they just drive into the uncoming traffic, and another 1 for the intential TO KILL MYSELF drug overdoses, so leave ‘I don’t fucking care what happens’ for the other 2 – THAT GOING TO BE YOU – one of the 4 Suicides? If so keep it secret, spare your kids the shame of it, NO LONG NOTES OR SKY DIVES OFF A BRIDGE EH. Sorry, but just for the ‘sake of it’…

• 28 cardiovascular (heart disease, stroke)
• 24 cancer
• 9 dementia/Alzheimer’s
• 8 chronic respiratory (COPD) and pneumonia/influenza
• 5 diabetes/kidney
• 7 unintentional injuries (traffic, falls, overdoses counted as accidental)
• 3 drug overdoses (if separated; otherwise include in unintentional injuries)
• 2 suicide
• 1 homicide
• 13 other (digestive/liver including alcohol, infections other than respiratory, neurological other than dementia, endocrine, hematologic, ill-defined)

Best not to delude yourself in this life boy – YOUR FAVOURITE THINGS IN THIS WORLD IS PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES AND WATCHING PORN, you don’t even really watch sport or gamble do you, and the limited attention you give the kids is just to cope with EMBARRASSEMTN of todays ‘bored’ intern blowjob, all fake laughs and nasty stories about your size later eh. If it helps at all your braindead ex-wife will drink herself to death, but the kids will hate her by them so no worries. See you are one more harmless fuck up with well off parents = first against the wall when the war comes, YOU ARE ‘INSTANTLY FORGETTABLE’.

Best DO SOMETHING EH, otherwise my money is drink and drugs killing ya, with a funeral attendance in the low 10s, AS YOU ARE BORING AS FUCK. Go back to sleep now, DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE, CAUSE YOU CAN’T DO A DAMN THING DIFFERENT ONE MOMENT TO THE NEXT. Anyway, time passess – YOU ARE A FAT CUNT, STOP READING A BLOG THAT IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU, AND GO AND BE A FAT CUNT SOMEWHERE ELSE. Sorry, but what the fuck were you expecting, SOMEONE TO ‘SOLVE YOU’? You are a cartoon character on a playschool wall, there is NOTHING TO SEE…

FOR THE REST OF YOU – I don’t help none spiritual folk BECOME SPIRITUAL – YOU EITHER HAVE IT NOW OR YOU DON’T. This is the most exclusive club in the world, SO DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO BECOME A MEMBER OR SIMPLY FUCK OFF AND DIE – YOUR EQUALITY IS A LIE, YOU ARE THEM OR YOU ARE ‘US’. BEING GIFTED IS NOT ENOUGH, AND YOUR LUCK WILL RUN OUT EVENTUALLY UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO ‘PAY FOR IT’, AND THAT MEANS YOU MUST FIRST PAY OFF YOUR ‘ENERGY DEBT’, OTHERWISE THAT IS ‘YOUR FATE’… 

AND Sorry, for the final time, but I’m bored now, what was your name again… Joking.

BUT YOU DO KNOW WHAT THE MOST IMPORTANT STAT OF ALL IS?

50% OF YOU WILL SUFFER FROM AN ‘OFFICIAL’ LEVEL OF MENTAL ILLNESS DUE TO ANXIETY, AND ITS GETING WORSE!  

Understand what you society does to you now, BY GIVING YOU WHAT YOU WANT, LIKE A BIG KID – YOU ULTIMATELY BECOME A ‘CONSUMER OF HEALTHCARE’, YET YOU DON’T ACTUALLY NEED THAT HEALTHCARE, YOU JUST NEED TO GROW THE FUCK UP! 

I love this, AND I MEAN I REALLY, REALLY LOVE IT, but I can’t start, ALL I CAN DO IS JUDGE YOU BACK FORTH, PICK FAULTS, MAKE YOU MAD, SAD AND BAD as todays excuse, and then feel worse afterwards, CAUSE I REALIZE I’VE BECOME EVEN MORE NOTHING THAN I WAS BEFORE. Surely there is an answer that HAPPENS WHEN ‘I’M READY’?  

Yep – DEATH is your answer, or more specifically YOUR REGRET ON YOUR DEATH BED. 

You are BADLY BLOCKED, common in large groups with several other gifted as YOU ALL CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT  – YOU ALL ASSUME THE ROTATING DOG-IN-A-MANAGER ROLE, and then slowly slip toward the same parasitic behaviours from the animal trash that surrounds you. See I tend to PRETEND FOR YOU, this or that load of bollocks as the mood takes me, just as long as you don’t know the truth, AS ITS A TEST – CAN YOU DO CONFLICT YET, CAN YOU COMMIT AGAINST THE ODDS, cause that is ultimately WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO…

I know that does not help you now, BUT HONESTLY UNLESS YOU CAN FIND THE BALLS TO TRY then your whole life is BOUNCING OFF A BLOCK YOU HAVE MADE FOR YOURSELF BECASUE YOU AIN’T GOT THE STONES TO DO CONFLICT. I could burn your little group to the ground and may yet do it for other reasons outside of you (the danger to life stuff of some others), BUT THAT WILL STILL NOT HELP YOU – YOU WIL BE IGNORED, CAUSE YOU KNEW IT WAS A TEST BUT YOU FAILED ANYWAY. You can’t wait for someone else to do it FOR YOU, and secretly that is WHAT YOU ARE HOPING FOR – ‘A FREE RIDE’…

Not sure what else there is to to say, but just for you – YOU SPECIFICALLY FEEL INFERIROR TO ONE OTHER PERSON YOU THINK IS BETTER THAN YOU IN THIS LITTLE GROUP, and you are WRONG. Your GIFT UNREALIZED, ANY LEVEL OF GIFT DOES NOT MAKE YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE, CAUSE IT IS JUST A POTENTIAL, so often it is the lower GIFTS THAT TRY THAT END UP WINNING, and the highly gifted fruit loops just fade away into mental illness.

Start again here, TALK TO YOURSELF ABOUT IT, you may be surprised what happens – IF IT HELPS AT ALL I’LL REPEAT WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW – You have a rather bland LIMITING BELIEF you were given in childhood which now underpins this and several other mistakes you have made in your life choices. This belief underpins WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR POSITION, YOUR ‘ANIMAL RANK IN THE JUNGLE’, which you have therefore tried to make the best of AND THEREFORE RE-INFORCED THAT BELIEF, BY JUDGING WHAT YOU DO AS GOOD OR BAD, GIVEN THAT BELIEF IS TRUE, buts its not.

For example I was told I was extremely clever after my family got a few IQ tests back from primary school, so they adopted that POSTURE toward my life, and INDOCTRINATED ME OVER TIME TO BELIEVE IT, which included being very weak and passive, SO ‘THAT’ BECAME ‘EGO STABLE’ PUBLIC ‘ME’. All a lie of course, and when I was targtted as the weak link in my family line I discovered I was an meaner bastard that the rest of my family put together, it not only came naturally I fucking loved it, and all that rather sad episode of pretending to be other than I was ended before I was 14y/o. 

Sadly, however you have gone on with yours, hence the rather curious mess you find yourself in now – really, ITS A SMALL THING, but it haunts you now simply because you did not GROW OUT OF IT CORRECTLY. So now THIS TINY PEBBLE IN YOUR SHOE perverts your whole life, AS THE YOUR QUEST FOR EGO-STABILITY, TO FEEL GOOD BECAUSE SHIT THINGS ARE NORMAL, defines your choices. YOUR INFERIORITY COMLEX IS WORSE BECAUSE OF THIS, because you make it come true in subtle ways that you FIND COMFORTING PUBLICALLY, instead of just doing what you actually want, AND THEREFORE YOUR CLEVERNESS ACTUALLY WORKS AGAINST YOU. See in your real life ‘YOU ARE A BOSS’, you are technically good at what you do, well paid and well off, but you don’t ACT THAT PART PRIVATELY DO YOU, you actually pretend to be ‘LESS THAN’ at home, so YOU HAVE THIS RATHER TRAGIC ATTITUDE THAT MAKES YOU ‘FAIL’…

Now, you have passed no tests at all, but I’ve always quite liked your style, so I will help you personally – THE KEY FOR YOU IS TO GO FURTHER WITH WHAT YOU ALREADY DO – ‘CHASE YOUR INDIVIDUALITY’, your own style and approach, AND STOP LETTING YOU LIMITING BELIEF UNDERMINE AND WEAKEN THOSE CHOICES. You have one of the coolist things – A TOUCH OF ‘THE FLAMBOYANT’ – so use that to blast passed it all, say fuck it, as YOU ARE AT AN AGE NOW WHERE YOU SHOULD NOT CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.

If you can make that jump then losing the weight will come natrually, AS THEN YOU WILL SEE WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE IN YOUR ‘FACE’, and then you will be at the races, BECAUSE YOU WILL KNOW, and so STOP HIDING – YOUR GIFT IS WRITTEN ON YOUR FACE, IN YOUR VERY SPECIFIC BONE STRUCTURE. Its all a bit Noel Coward I know, but that is your type, SO THAT IS YOUR LAW, YOUR POWER IS ‘ON YOUR FACE’, so you need to ‘SHOW YOUR FACE’ to use it. Your GIFT works like a MASK on your Face, and changes it to suit itself in childhood, but BE AWARE THAT WILL NOT JUST DECLINE AS YOUR GIFT DECLINES, BUT IT CAN ALSO TURN ON YOU IF YOU CHOOSE TO ABUSE IT, as many of the young and pretty have discovered to thier cost. 

Again, your problem is a small thing, frankly as Big Blocks go its not even that bad, not even your Key Feature (which is wrapped up with your assumed sexuality much as it is not about sex), BUT THE DEVIL IS IN YOUR DETAIL, SO IT MAYBE BEST TO TRY AND STOP IT DEFINING YOUR WHOLE LIFE, eh…     

LISTEN – I don’t care, so I don’t care about any of YOUR spiritual stuff, I use drink and drugs to cope with my crappy life, SO ALL I WANT FROM YOU IS TO MAKE MY LIFE LESS CRAPPY, I WANT MORE MAGIC TRICKS, AS ‘CONSCIOUS ORDERS’ WORKS FOR ME, makes my life easier, but I have no intention of changing, I’M A BADDIE, AND I WILL GO TO MY GRAVE AS ONE, good or bad, right or wrong, I was born cursed so I HAVE NO FUCKS TO GIVE, bitch…

Ahhh, you follow the ‘Mystery Cult of Dionysus’, how sweet, working it out by yourself too eh, SO HOW BAD WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD?? (Sorry, I don’t really give a shit, but obviously you should, as that is what all of this is about, but no matter, I know you have blanked it all out years ago…)

So, you want MORE OF THE SAME, WITHOUT THE PAIN, how original – the use of sensation driven ecstasy for ‘hieghtened expereinces of bliss’, that may or may not ‘transform you’, as long as you remember to take the ‘MAGIC POTION’, IN THIS CASE VAST QUANTITIES OF WATERED DOWN WINE, AS THEY DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY OR SKILLS FOR THE MAGICAL ‘KYKEON’ OF THE ELUSIANS. So for you its get HIGH, and then use music, dance, darkness and communal ritual over an extended day/night timeframe and just see what da fuck happens, eh? You know the primary way that HAPPENS TO YOU IS GOOD OLD ‘SLEEP DEPRIVATION’ RIGHT?

Good luck with that – GO BE AN ANIMAL, GO DO ANIMAL STUFF, FOR ANIMAL THRILLS, LITTLE MORE THAN THE AMPLIFIED VISCERAL SENSATIONS THAT ANY COMMON CAT DOES 10 TIMES A DAY, and with more class too… Please, go type that in GPT5 and see what you get, IT MAY NOT HAVE MUCH MAGIC BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN SEE WHAT THE GOAL ‘is’, that YOU ARE SADLY LACKING IN YOUR QUEST – ‘They promised participants a special relationship with the god, communal belonging, and hopes of blessedness in this life and the afterlife’. WOW – CAUSE THAT IS SO COOL! so Yes, do crack on – you want ‘altered states’ – enthousiasmos (being filled with the god) and a loosening of ordinary social boundaries, as a sort of fake super power, cause you were brought up poor…

Yawn… seems like a lot of effort FOR WHAT YOU get back in return to me like, BUT HEY, who knows maybe you will get to the point where even something a dumb as you finally moves on to the Orphic, hell even the UNCONQUORERED SUN, eventually eh? You practise a childs mystery, so you get a childs results – ENOUGH RELIEF FROM LARGELY HISTORIC ANXIETY TO CALL ‘FUN’, and a slowly building mental, emotional and phycial health crisis, WAITING TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS…

Want to know WHERE YOU ARE ON THE CURVE OF YOUR KIND? No, ok.. what about WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT? No interest? ok.. what about what everyone around you ACTUALLY THINKS OF YOU, THAT ‘YOU HAVE GOT OLD BEFORE THIER TIME’, and is now, well… all a little embarrising to know? Ok, so its JUST ‘THE MAGIC TRICKS’ THEN, YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO ‘TURN THE LIGHT AROUND’ AND BECOME AN EVEN BIGGER TWAT THAT YOU ARE NOW…? Yes? YOU WANT IT TO BE A THRILL, YOU DON’T WANT IT TO HURT, AND YOU WANT FREE ‘PERSONAL POWER’? So thats a NO then – SEE MORE MAGIC TRICKS FOR YOU IS JUST GOING TO KILL YA EVEN QUICKER…

YOU ARE ‘a CHILD’ – SO SEE THAT YOU ARE JUST ASKING ‘TO BE SAVED’, AGAIN, IN THE ONLY WAY YOU KNOW HOW AND STILL SEEM ‘COOL’. SEE ALL CLASS SYSTEM REQUIRE YOU TO HAVE SOME CLASS – was that not clear? The others have already destroyed you, my dear, and YOU THANKED THEM FOR IT, while they laughed at you, but you thought they all ‘LOVED YOU’, and so they ‘had your back’, because you thought ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’. And even though you now know that is not true, you STILL LACK ‘THE RESPECT’ TO DO THIS CORRECTLY, and that lack of respect betrays you as CLASSLESS – when you have FAILED THE HARDWAY as much as you have, FAILED CONFLICT, FAILED EVOLUTION 101, then it really is time to disappear…

SO TRY ONE LAST TIME BEFORE YOU ‘GO’ – YOU ARE ALREADY TRYING TO DEVELOP YOURSELF VIA HEDONISM, THAT IS WHAT ‘THE CULT’ YOU BLINDLY FOLLOW IS FOR, OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT BE THE STAR OF ANY SHOW, WOULD YOU, YOU WOULD BE CONTENT TO WATCH, LIKE A TWAT…    

This is why WE focus on HEDONISTS, this is what YOU ARE DOING HERE, trying to grow up enough to MOVE ON TO ACTUAL DEVELOPMENT AND USE A SYSTEM THAT IS NOT FOR POOR, ILLITERATE CHILDREN, FOR ACTUALL SLAVES, who have no knowledge, no money, no position in your society, SO NOBODY HAS EVER TOLD YOU SHIT. Even in Ancient greece ANYBODY who could actually ‘DO’ the Dionysus version WAS SUPPOSED TO MOVE ONTO THE ‘THE ORPHIC MYSTERIES’ PRETTY DAMN QUICK – ‘PURIFICATION AND REBIRTH’, AS THAT IS HOW THAT PARTICULAR SYSTEM WORKS. But not you eh, YOU JUST WANT THE PROCESS, YOU DON’T EVEN WANT THE GOAL OF THAT PROCESS EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW IT, SO YOU HAVE GONE ‘STALE’, BECOME ‘KINKED’, AND ‘LOST YOUR WAY’, and now all that is left is your ever increasing awareness of your own EMPTINESS, which (spoiler alert) is often fatal for simple folk like you…

But you want to, don’t you – YOU ARE JUST TO WEAK TO COMMIT, TO AFRAID OF NOT BE COOL IN FRONT OF ‘YOUR FRIENDS’. YOU WANT TO SAY ‘I am a child of Earth and starry Sky, but my race is heavenly’, BUT you are to weak to TAKE DIRECTION FROM ‘springs/guardians’, TO Avoid the pool of Lethe (forgetfulness OF YOURSELF); drink instead from Mnemosyne (memory OF YOUR KIND). So the purity, justice, and ritual correctness YOU NEED to free the soul ARE BEYOND YOU. See, YOUR SOCIETAL ANCESTRY IS NOT GREEK, ITS ROMAN, ITS THE ANCESTRY OF ‘THE TECHNICIAN’, SO YOU ARE FORCED TO BE A FOLLOWER OF NIETZCHE, OF ‘THUS SPOKE THARATHUSTRA’ = ‘MITHRAS’, WHICH IS WHAT WE DO HERE, AS ITS WHAT THE 4TH WAY ‘IS’…

So TRY and understand yourself in the CONTEXT OF WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE – IF YOU ARE GIFTED YOU WILL TRY AND DEVELOP YOURSELF, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, BUT YOU WILL CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE, and if you are as dumb as you it is likely YOU WILL GO TO YOUR GRAVE NOT KNOWING WHAT YUR LIFE HAS BEEN ABOUT THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME, because you refuse to TAKE DIRECTION, because YOU THE CHILD ‘KNOWS BETTER’ THAN ME, KNOWS BETTER THAN SYSTEMS OF DEVELOPMENT THAT HAVE OWNED THIS BLOODY PLANET FOR 2500 YEARS…

Really bitch..? DO YOU SEE ‘THE BIG PICTURE’ YET OR DO YOU STILL NEED A DIFFERENT COLOUR OF CRAYON? HAVE YOU FAILED AT YOUR ANIMAL LEVEL CRAP ENOUGH YET? ARE YOU BORED WITH ALL YOUR NEVER ENDING PERSONAL CRISIS? ARE YOU NOW BLANTANTLY AWARE THAT YOU HAVE ‘SUDDENLY’ GOT OLD, UGLY, SLOW, STUPID, AND THATS JUST SHIT? DO YOU GET THE FUCKING MESSAGE OR DO YOU WANT TO FADE SLOWLY AWAY INTO BECOMING ONE MORE LITTLE CREEPY PARASITE, IN BECOMING A WATCHER, A PEEPING TOM, WHILST TELLING ALL THOSE LITTLE CUNTS SITTING AROUND YOU THAT ONCE UPON A TIME YOU COULD DO THAT, TOO…? 

Cool, best get the fuck on with it then bitch, as there is an actual queue for your SEAT AT THIS TABLE, GO BE ‘A VICTIM’ SOMEWHERE ELSE. your comfort is for pussies, and one day you will see that VERY CLEARLY, JUST BEFORE YOU DIE. Go drink from the POOL of FORGETFULNESS, GO SEEK ‘OBLIVION’, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF, so its GUILT FREE, and thats makes sitting on the river bank in ‘Hades’ quite pleasant, so YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO REMEMBER YOURSELF, what you once were, long ago and far away, do you…

And all because you were born CURSED, and then bad things happened to you, AND THAT WAS ‘NOT FAIR’, SO YOUR ‘THIS’ IS BETTER THAN ‘THAT’, so your superpower is that you expect everyone and everythin to be SHIT, so its actually comforts you when you are RIGHT, and your EGO SAFETY protects you from anything good in your life, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU GOT THROUGH ‘CHILDHOOD’, and so now your whole life is that same childhood, over and over and over again. AND YET SOMEHOW YOU STILL MANAGE ‘TO WIN’, cause that is all that matters now, to you – TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOUR CHOSEN ‘COOL STEREOTYPE’, hell you even practise don’t you, you even TRY AND GET WORSE, as that is YOUR ‘GREATEST VICTORY’…

So know now I am ‘THE ENEMY’, as I’m who GOD SENDS, BUT I don’t do what is GOOD, KIND, RIGHT, NICE, I’M NOT EVEN REMOTELY CHRISTIAN – I DO WHAT IS ‘NESSECARY’. And frankly my dear, I’d have got quite good at it over the years, SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR NOW – PUT YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR EARS AND WAIT FOR ‘THE BANGS’, as in your case I suspect they will GET VERY LOUD, as otherwise YOU WILL CONTINUE TO BLANK THEM OUT, a moment after they happen. Nothing to do with me of course – THESE ARE YOUR ROLE PLAYS FROM CHILDHOOD, they are what you project onto friend and foe alike, SO I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND if I continue not to notice.

YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS IS YOUR PROBLEM, little girl, and your excuses for it are simply BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE – YOU LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD FULL OF DOLLIES YOU HAVE PAINTED CHILDHOOD FACES ON, and that is nothing to do with me – I LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD, YOU have no idea who I am, SO IT MIGHT HELP YOU IF YOU STOP TRYING TO GUESS OUT OF YOUR OWN SOMEWHAT LIMITED ‘LIFE EXPEREINCE’ – YOU THINK A BADDIE IS WHAT YOU SEE ON ‘SOCIAL MEDIA’, SO YOU COPY IT, SO YOU ARE A STEREOTYPE, SO YOU FAIL AT BEING YOU, OVER AND OVER AGAIN…

You have no faith in yourself at all, do you, SO ALL IS COPIED, and self your destruction is a small price to pay for THE SECRET CLEVERNESS OF BEING COOL, eh.

Yeah, that all SOUNDS REALLY CLEVER, but you are not GOD, are you, so you can’t help me, ONLY MY WAY WORKS, so I’ll stick to my CULT, thanks all the same – THIS IS ME, I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING OTHER THAN ME, RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW BUT I AM 5 DIFFERENT PEOPLE EVERYDAY, so can you HELP OR NOT?   

ONE LAST TIME – I’M WHO ‘YOUR’ GOD SENDS to PEOPLE LIKE YOU – just try and be slightly cleverer for the next 5mins, eh?

YOUR TYPE HAS POWERFUL ‘CONSCIENCE LEVEL’ EMOTIONS, particualry as you are GIFTED ON BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY, so YOUR CHILDHOOD WAS ‘CHALLENING’, which you remember as A BIT OF A DISAPPOINTMENT – YOUR ABOVE AVERAGE ‘EMOTIONAL NEEDS WHERE NEGLECTED’, and that hurt, bless…. But instead of FACING THAT you have chosen to spend your life KILLING YOUR CONSCIENCE INSTEAD, as in childhood THAT SEEMED LIKE A BETTER IDEA, CAUSE IT HURT LESS. Now you should fucking know that WAS A MISTAKE, particularly as in your case YOUR CONSCIENCE IS WAY STRONGER THAN ANY OLD SHIT YOUR CHILD CAN DO, and therefore is GOING TO FUCK YOU UP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

So maybe, just maybe, ITS TIME TO GROW THE FUCK UP, EH – YOU LIKE CONSCIOUS ORDERS? Fine – whenever you have a free second in your day ask yurself CONSTANTLY – ‘WHO AM I’ – as in your case hardcore Zen will actually work, as long as you are prepared to REPEAT IT, with no expectation of ‘an answer’, as the answer comes is the way it changes your ‘context of mental time’, so CHANGES YOUR ‘CONTEXT OF YOU’, BY ACTUALLY RECREATING ‘THE CONTEXT OF YOU’ you were fucking born with, and that you have worked so hard, thus far, TO DESTROY – YOU SLOWLY ‘REMEMBER YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT’, more and more. 

See YOUR OVERWHELMING DESIRE TO FORGET YOURSELF IS YOUR ‘KEY FEATURE’, the house of SAND YOUR WHOLE ‘PUBLIC PERSONA’ IS BUILT ON TOP OF, and that IS ONE OF THE ODDEST OF THEM ALL TO HAVE – ITS THE MOST DAMAGING YET ONE OF THE EASIEST TO FIX, given you can take the fall. DO YOU UNDERSTAND – YOU, YOUR ‘OVERACTIVE CONSCIENCE’ DOES NOT LIKE WHAT IT SEES WHEN YOU REMEMBER YOURSELF FOR A MOMENT, SO YOU LOAD YOURSELF UP WITH SILLY FANTASY, SECRET SMUGNESS, ANIMAL SENSATION EVERY DAMN DAY IN ORDER TO FORCE YOURSELF TO FORGET!

YOU ARE STUPID BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO BE STUPID – IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER – BUT YOU COULD SIMPLY CHOOSE TO CHANGE AND REMEMBER THAT CHANGE INSTEAD, AS THAT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER – TO REST YOUR MIND IN A ‘BETTER SENSE OF YOURSELF’. Then you won’t need to comfort yourself with all this low quality garbage you fill your life with, BECAUSE ALL YOUR THINKING WILL START FROM REMEMBERING YOURSELF, INSTEAD OF THE BANAL STUPIDITY OF FORGETTING THE CONTEXT OF YOURSELF AND REACTING TO YOUR DESPERATE NEED FOR COMFORT – DESTROYING YOURSELF WITH OVERTHINKING BETWEEN EMPTY, QUICK FIXES THAT DON’T FUCKING WORK ANYMORE…

REMEMBER YOURSELF – REMEMBER WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED, REMEMBER THE INNATE QUALITY YOUR KNOW YOU HAVE, BUT MOST OF ALL REMEMBER YOU WERE BORN TO BE US, NOT THEM, AS THAT ‘TORTURED CONSCIENCE’ OF YOURS CLEARLY SHOWS – FIND SOME CONTEMPT FOR IT ALL AND CHANGE, DO CONFLICT, NOW. Otherwise that Oblivion you crave is GOING TO GET A LOT MORE PAINFUL, A LOT CLOSER A HELL OF A LOT QUICKER THAN YOU THOUGHT UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO PUT AGAINST YOUR OWN SELF DESTRUCTIVE COMFORTS = TO BUILD A CONTEXT OF ‘BEING BETTER’ OUT OF CONTEMPT FOR THE OTHERS WHO HAVE ALREADY VICTIMIZED YOU = EVOLUTION 101.

The beauty of the advice I have given you is simple – ‘WHO AM I’ GIVES YOU THE ABILITY ‘TO REMEMBER A CONTEXT OF YOURSELF’ IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION, BUT WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO PUT IN THAT CONTEXT IS UP TO YOU. And for folk like YOU, that LEDGE ON YOUR CLIFF FACE, THAT ROPE TO TIE ONTO, THAT HOOK YOU LATCH ONTO is what will KEEP YOU OUT OF ‘THE FIRE’, if you know what to do with it. THE TRICK OF COURSE IS TO UNDERSTAND IN THE MOMENT WHAT THAT ‘FEELS LIKE IT MEANS’, TO YOU – YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO EVOKE THIS SPECIFIC FEELING ————

YOU MUST ‘LIKE YOURSELF’ IN ORDER TO ‘REMEMBER YOURSELF’, IT MUST BE AN ATTRACTIVE FEELING, BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL ACCEPT YOURSELF. Accept yourself feels like RESTING IN YOURSELF, THE FEELING OF YOUR QUALITY, YOUR SUPERIORITY, WITH NO NEED TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN BREATH. All your problems come from fighting yourself, THEY ARE ALL TO DO WITH CONFLICT BUT YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE WRONG SIDE… 

IF YOU CANNOT DO THIS, IF YOU CANNOT FIND A SENSE OF YOU YOUR CONSCIENCE LIKES THEN YOU WILL ALWAYS NEED TO COMFORT YOURSELF, AND THOSE COMFORTS WIL WORK LESS AS YOU AGE, but far worse THOSE COMPENSATIONS FOR SELF HATRED WITH SPLIT YOUR PERSONALITY INTO PIECES. THOSE PIECES WILL ACT SEPARATELY TO YOU AND EACH OTHER, BECAUSE THOSE PIECES HATE EACH OTHER, AND THAT IS WHEN YOUR LIFE TURNS INTO RANDOM CHAOS – YOU MUST PUT SOMETHING SOLID AGANST THOSE PIECES OF YOU, OTHERWISE YOUR CHILDLIKE MOOD SWINGS WILL BECOME PERSONALITIES, LITERALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE YOU DON’T RECOGNISE LATER BECAUSE THEY ARE ‘NOT YOU’ ANYMORE…   

Lastly – understand, this is URGENT, this is not tomorrow, this is yesterday – SO TAKE A BIG STEP BACK NOW, AND THEN ‘TRY AGAIN’, AND ‘TRY HARDER’ – FIND A WAY TO LIKE YOURSELF IN THE REALITY OF WHAT YOU DO, NOT THE FANTASY OF WHAT YOU THINK, AS THAT IS JUST A COMPENSATION FOR BEING SHIT in the REALITY OF YOUR OWN ‘CONSCIENCE LEVEL’ OPINION, however good you are at repressing it moment to moment won’t matter in the end, like…

One last little request from ME, if you don’t mind? – STOP TRYING TO PIGEONHOLE ME AS ONE MORE PEICE OF SHIT ‘YOU KNOW’ – I’m a little out side of your life expereince, I was forced to master the 3 layer con in childhood, the badmans love of ‘True Lies’, SO YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO ‘GET IT’, hell you don’t even have a half decent ‘stereotype’ of me to work with. Accept THAT, accept not knowing shit, accept that yu can’t validate this at an animal level of consciousness and prove you are right, you are clever, you are cool, CAUSE YOU ARE A LOWLIFE WHO NEEDS TO LOWER EVERYTHING DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL OF SEWER RAT, as that is your version of equality = FORCED STUPIDITY FOR ALL.

So stop being terrified for a min or 2 and JUST DO IT ANYWAY, nothing else you’ve tried has worked has it, so what da fuck HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE – you already know ‘your way’ costs you EVERYTHING, including your soul such as is, so judgng this is a little above your Pay Grade, don’t ya think – LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME, as that is all your precious little opinion is worth – NOTHING. CHANGE, AND THEN YOU CAN JUDGE THE REST OF US BITCH…

Change HOW? All this Evolutionary bollocks is BEYOND ME, I have no idea how to FIGHT MY WAY OUT OF MY SEWER, I don’t even THINK I COULD EXIST OUTSIDE OF MY SEWER, MY BIOLOGY BETRAYED ME AS A KID, SO I DON’T TRUST IT, I survive by getting people to HEP ME JUST TO EXIST? 

You know what – I’LL HELP YOU, not because that is a GOOD QUESTION, but because it is a HONEST QUESTION – you are a very difficult person to like, to be fond of, to respect your quality, be kind to out of pity for obvious reasons, BUT I’VE ALWAYS SEEN A LOT OF MYSELF IN YOU, just in terms of ‘WHAT NOT TO DO’.

See you are WRONG ON SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS ITS ACTUALLY a TEXT BOOK ‘ERROR LOG’, so it interests me – FRANKLY I’M A LITTLE AMAZED YOU ARE STILL ALIVE. Its remarkable really, much as you decided your FATE years ago you really should of BURN OUT BY NOW, and its only your innate quality that has kept you out of the fire, much as that QUALITY HAS DRAMATICALLY DECLINED, so best be aware – YOU ARE ‘END STAGE’, so your options are limited.  

Do you know what GAME THEORY is? No? Shame, cause its DOMINATES YOUR WHOLE LIFE – IT IS THE ACTUAL MODEL OF HOW INDIVIDUALS WIN IN COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENTS WHEN THERE CAN ONLY BE 1 WINNER, AND ITS 100% TRUE, ALL THE TIME, IN EVERY POSSIBLE ANMAL SCENARIO, INCLUDING YOURS. See, this is how EVOLUTION WORKS, this is the key to the basics, to HOW YOU FUNCTION in your HERD, INDEED WHY YOU HAVE A SECRET LITTLE GROUP IN THE FIRST PLACE, and, strangely, YOU ALREADY KNOW IT, you are just looking it ALL WRONG, like you look at most things cause ‘YOUR GO TO COPING STRATERGY IS SUICIDAL’, but its the only 1 you have…

What game theory says is this – THE PEOPLE WHO WIN AS INDVIDUALS OUT OF SAY A GROUP OF 100 WIN BY ‘CHEATING’. They ‘Collaborate Secretly’ in sub-groups in order to DEFEAT others ‘BETTER THAN THEM’ by force of numbers, SO THE FOLK ON THIER OWN ALWAYS LOSE FIRST HOWEVER MUCH BETTER THAN THEY ARE, FOLLOWED BY THE SMALLER GROUPS ETC, UNTIL THE LARGER GROUPS SPLINTER AND FIGHT IT OUT BETWEEN EACH OTHER. THE WINER EMERGES BASED ON HOW WELL THEY PLANNED OUT THIER INTIAL GROUP AND MAINTAINED RELATIONSHIPS IN THOSE SUB-GROUPS WITH THE STRONGER, SLOWLY LYING TO AND BETRAYING OTHER COMPETITORS UNTIL YOU ‘SACRIFICE YOUR CLOSEST ALLIES’ SO YOU CAN WIN, making sure you TAKE OUT ANYONE STRONGER WITH A LARGER GROUP OTHERWISE YOU LOSE A STRAIGHT FIGHT AT THE END.  

So what it teaches is that ALL HERD DYNAMICS COME DOWN TO BETRAYAL AND SACRIFICE OF OTHERS SO YOU CAN WIN. The trick of course is to KILL everyone who is going to be stronger than you AT THE END by using the larger sub-groups at the START, BECAUSE OTHERWISE AS THE FIGHTS BECOME MORE EVEN THEY WILL BEAT YOU LATER, so you must LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD, OTHERWISE YOU ARE SIMPLY A HANGER ON AS AN EASY KILL LATER. But that also WORKS FOR YOU AS THE OTHER STRONGER FOLKS WILL KEEP YOU ONSIDE AS NO THREAT, just as long AS YOU JUDGE THE BEST TIME TO BETRAY THEM BEFORE THEY BETRAY YOU CORRECTLY, while there is still enough of the weaker to overwhelm the stronger.

Now what this tell FOLKS LIKE ME is NOT JUST THAT ANY ‘SOCIETY IS THE GREAT LEVELLER OF QUALITY’, AS IT TENDS TO DESTROY THE BETTER PEOPLE AND REGRESS BECAUSE OF THE HERD DYNAMIC, SO ‘THE STRONGER HAVE TO ACCEPT THE NEED TO FIGHT’ IN CHILDHOOD TO SUCCEED otherwise they are targetted BY THE GROUP. No, what this tell all us BAD PEOPLE is that the key to SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST is to CHANGE, CONSTANTLY, WHILST KNOWING WHERE WE ARE GOING – TO ADAPT BY CHANGING SECRETLY AND BEING READY FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE – OTHERWISE YOUR OBVIOUS QUALITY, STRENGTH, ABILITIES WILL GET YOU KILLED. So you must LIE, CHEAT and STEAL to survive ANIMAL SOCIETY, until your skills are at a level that YOU HAVE SURPASSED IT, AND YOUR ABILITIES MEAN YOU ‘OWN THE GAME’, AND CAN THEREFORE MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

See this simplified EVOLUTION = GAME THEORY = HOW EVERYTHING WORKS IN YOUR WORLD = THE DYNAMICS OF POWER VIA CONFLICT = YOUR SOCIETY. IF YOU DON’T DO CONFLICT YOU ALWAYS LOSE IN THE END, EVEN WHEN YOU COULD OF EASILY WON, BUT even beyond THE NEED TO WIN, say IN STABLE GROUPS THIS THEORY IS still WHY ALL GROUPS BECOME LED BY ‘AN ALPHA’, who makes a point of killing anyone who even looks like they may challenge them early, SO THE GROUP ITSELF BECOMES FULL OF SHEEP, LIKE ‘YOU’. Indeed, when the ALPHA grows old and weakens their SUCCESSOR COMES FROM OUTSIDE OF THE GROUP, WHICH IS HOW HERDS BECOME NATIONS, over time, AND THE ALPHA CLASS MANAGES TO SURVIVE THE CONSTANT ‘DUMBING DOWN OF THE HERD’. 

But that is no use to YOU – you need to know how to play the game, AND NOW YOU KNOW THE RULES – THAT IS EVERYTHING IS COMPETATIVE EVOLUTION, HARDWIRED INTO YOUR AND EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW BIOLOGY – THAT SHOULD BE EASY.

So don’t think you are ABOVE IT YET, cause you are not – see UNTIL YOU DEVELOP YOURSELF THIS SIMPLE MECHANISM IS YOUR WHOLE BLOODY LIFE… 

Lol… Hardly ground breaking is it – THATS PRIMARY SCHOOL – thats the group your form with a close FAMILY friends loyal to you and then wider groups of friends in different groups that come and go, THAT IS WHAT DEFENDS YOU, BUT I ‘GREW UP’, plus I always hated all that playground shouting and fighting, so I was never happier than the day I left…  

(LMFAO….)

DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW – THIS IS HOW YOU FAILED EVOLUTION 101 AS A KID. 

See before your rather FUCKED UP EGO DEVELOPED YOU WERE FORCED IN TO EVOLUTIONARY GAME THEORY BY YOUR BIOLOGY, BUT THEN YOU FAILED BASIC CONFLICT AND DECIDE TO COMPENSATE WITH PEOPLE PLEASING INSTEAD, and that is what your EGO formed around. AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE THIS BIGGER MESS, RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW…

Sure there is more to it in your case – YOUR CURSE – but thats YOUR WHOLE PROBLEM RIGHT NOW – IT IS A TEST YOU FAILED, SO THAT TEST IS JUST REPEATING ITSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU PASS, which is why you feel cursed…

Honestly UNTI YOU FACE THAT AND STOP COMPENSATING FOR IT BOTH THIS CONVERSATION AND MORE OVER YOU ENTIRE LIFE IS ALREADY OVER, LITTLE GIRL – YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE BASICS AND MADE A LIFE OUT OF FEELING GOOD WHEN YOU FAIL, HELL YOU ACTUALLY SET YOUR SELF UP TO FAIL IN ORDER TO FEEL GOOD, yet you still think that is going to end well…       

Yeah…… OK – I see it now, more as I REMEMBER IT NOW. I actually remember the actual ‘point of failure’ which is kinda of weird – I gave into some kid when I did not need to, even my friends thought I was stupid, weak, SO I BELIEVED I WAS TOO, THEN I BECAME IT. So I have to go through that again..? 

Yep, but now you are a lot smarter, so you know how to pick your fights, and surprisingly you still know how to fight, instinctively…. CHANGE – CONFLICT – GROWTH. This conflict will RE-CREATE YOU, RE-CREATE A SENSE OF YOURSELF THAT YOU ‘LIKE’ BUT SEEM TO HAVE HAVE LOST ALONG THE WAY…

See, YOU NEED TO ‘GET EVEN’, don’t you – YOU NEED TO RESTORE ‘YOUR HONOR’, because you have let nasty people hurt you, as that is what is going to get ‘you’ out of your SEWER, AND THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED ‘YOUR REPUTATION’ FOR – TO BE EVER SO SLIGHTLY SCARY.

So can you bare to look at YOUR POSITION IN YOUR SOCIETY, see what folks really think of you by how they treat you? That is the key for you, AS NORMALLY YOUR FANTASY WORLD IS SO BLOODY DELUSIONAL YOU STRUGGLE WITH THE CONCEPTS  ‘UP’ AND ‘DOWN’, so even the obvious piss takes are transformed into ‘MAGICAL ATTENTION’, and you FEED OFF ‘THE SHAME’. AND YOU DON’T EVEN CARE…

That is where you have to START – IN THE REALITY OF THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY – otherwise all of this wil just be one more fantasy. As you say, YOUR PERSONALITY HAS ALREADY SPLINTERED UNDER THE WIEGHT OF YOUR ANXIETY, you have A MASSIVE INFERIORITY COMPLEX, so you must start to control yourself in the moment. The Black Outs and the Drugs have to go, so use that to motivate yourself, even if you only win 1 out of 3 or 4 times, YOU MUST GET USED TO CONTROLLING YOURSELF, while there is still anything that looks like A SELF LEFT.

Just for you – YOUR CURSE – you GIFT was realized emotionally in CHILDHOOD, which made you an ‘INDIVIDUAL’, different, exotic and strange. You quickly discovered that was NOT COOL, and your enhanced need to be COOL to push about against your ANXIETY IS THE LIMITING BELIEF THAT UNDERPINS YOUR WHOLE DAY TO DAY PERSONA. So your have not just made self destruction cool in this situation or that one, like most Hedonists, you have made self-destruction your go to tactic for life, all the time, every day in every situation. This is the keplunk stick you have to pull out first, BY ACCEPTING YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AS YOU, BY SEEING THE ALTERNATIVE ‘COOL BEHAVIOURS’ AS SUB-HUMAN, as in the cold light of day THEY DO NOT WORK, even for a fake baddie – everyone thinks you are weak and stupid, right now, BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU ARE SIMPLY TRYING TO BE COOL, BY BEING LIKED.

SO KNOW THE ACTUAL TRICK IS TO CHANGE ‘THE BADGE OF COOL’ YOU WANT TO BE SEEN AS WHEN TICKING OFF THESE BEHAVIOURS, AND REPLACE IT WAS A ‘BADGE OF DISHONOR’ VS YOUR INDIVIDUALITY, AS A BETRAYAL OF YOUR REAL SELF. I had to do this once in a very similar way, but my COOL was extreme violence, and that was a lot harder to shake off because at that time and in that situation I was regarded as far cooler, because I WAS STRONG, PLUS I WAS REALLY GOOD AT IT INSTINCTIVELY, hence even now it has never entirely left me, BUT IT NO LONGER CONTROLS ME.

This is a VERY SPECIFIC, COMPLEX MECHANISM, so it is worth repeating: THE COLLECTION OF THESE BADGES IS WHAT DRIVES BOTH YOUR ANXIETY AND THE RELIEF OF SAID ANXIETY, NOT THE ACTIVITIES THEMSELVES WHICH ARE HATEFUL AND DEGRADE YOU. Once you see this, ONCE YOU SEE YOU ARE ‘ACHIEVEMENT ORIENTATED’, and that activities themseleves DO NOTHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IN THE MOMENT YOU CAN SWITCH TO OTHER ACTIVITIES FOR OTHER ACHEIVEMENTS – YOU REPLACE THE FEELING OF COOL WITH THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY, THEN YOUR COMFORTS WILL SEEM AS THEY ARE – NOTHING – THEY ARE LITERALLY ‘A REASSURING BOX TICKING EXERCISE’, THAT YOUR EGO USES TO COMFORT ITSELF, LIKE ‘PAYING THE RENT’, but you actually hate handing over the rent money. 

In your case it HAS TO LEAVE YOU, otherwise THE SEPARATION BETWEEN THE REALITY OF YOU THE INDIVIDUAL AND THE FANTASY OF YOUR LIMITING BELIEF WILL NEVER CLOSE, and you will never see what you are actually doing AGAINST YOURSELF – YOU MUST SEE YOUR LIMITING BELIEF TRIGGER AS IT TRIGGERS IN THE MOMENT, NOT AFTERWARDS, otherwise your other personalities will follow through and run away with it, and defeat YOU everytime. 

Lastly – YOU ARE END STAGE, best take take it seriously, now. See when even you are conscious that you have 5 different personalities that don’t know each other, so do what they want in the moment then you have MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS. It does not matter that you can still function, THAT YOU CAN STILL BALANCE YOUR MINDSTATE BE BLANKING OUT THESE EPISODES, one day your mind will snap, and that ABILITY TO BALANCE WILL BE GONE FOREVER – you will become DESPERATE, all the time.

I KNOW YOU ARE STRONG, BUT YOU HAVE BECOME FOOLED BY YOUR ‘INFAMOUS RESILIENCE’, WHICH IN TRUTH IS LITTLE MORE THAN THE FUN TACTICS OF ONE MORE ‘ADDICT’ – ITS ALL WORTH IT FOR ‘THE BUZZ’, NO MATTER HOW BAD IT GETS IN ‘THE END’.  

LOL! don’t confuse me with one of these LITTLE SPIRITUAL PEASANTS YOU TALK TO, all lost and alone, I know AFTER WE LEARN CONFLICT WE DON’T HAVE TO LEAVE ‘OUR SEWER’, I KNOW THAT ALL CONFLICT IS BASED ON ‘DECEIT’, but you refuse to give me the short cuts I am asking for EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW I COULD TAKE THEM – ‘AFTER THE RAIN STOPS THE GROUND HARDENS’, AND IT RAINED A LOT IN MY CHILDHOOD…

Ahhhh, finally… we goad you into ‘SPREADING YOUR WINGS’, and you oblige with ‘THE SIGNATURE FLOURISH’ so common for the highly gifted of your type…

Is it not lovely that you already think you are ‘ROYALTY’, AND YOU HAVE BELIEVED THAT SINCE YOU WERE A KID AS YOUR FAVOURITE SECRET FANTASY? Yet you persist with YOUR CHILDHOOD CON OF PRETENDING TO BE STUPID, in order to manipulate others, even though you know that they know that, and treat you like a ‘clever cunt’ because of it, EVEN ME…

But still you persist, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE CLEARLY LOST CONTROL OF THE 5 DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES YOU SO ARTFULLY CREATED AT THE HIEGHT OF ‘YOUR SECRET CLEVERNESS’, and now they have turned on you in layers, betraying and tripping you up at every roll of the dice, you fix one only for another one to switch on and fuck you up anyway – YOUR EGO IS ALL A BIT OF ‘MESS’ NOW, all a bit random chaos, but admitting you have LOST IS BEYOND YOU…   

No matter – i think you will find it was a gentleman called Sun Tzu who first told the world that all conflict is about deciet – but you just need to see what this means for YOUR HARDWAY. There is no need for you to burn, there is no need for your mental, emotional and physcial health to fail, you must simply recognise you ahev already FAILED, and I mean YEARS AGO – you played someone at your ‘favourite game’ and you LOST. AND BY SEEING THAT LOSS YOU WILL ‘WIN’ BECAUSE YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED, as you will have ‘EARNED IT’, THE HARDWAY…

You are a WITCH, YOU ARE THE ROYALTY YOU ALWAYS DREAMED OFF, SO COLLECT ‘THE BADGES OF A WITCH’, THE SCALPS OF AN ACTUAL BADDIE, THE SEVERED HEADS OF YOUR ENEMIES SHOULD HANG OFF THE BRIDLE OF YOUR BIG BLACK HORSE, WHILE THEIR CORPSES ROT AND FEED YOUR FAVOURITE CHERRY TREE, INSTEAD OF GOING ON WITH YOUR RATHER TWISTED LITTLE CURSE OF ‘A FAKE BADDIE’ – AT YOUR LEVEL YOU DISHONOR US ALL BY TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT. To be a PUSSY when you ahev no need to is one of the greatest SHAMES OF ALL…

See that LEVEL IS ALL THAT MATTERS, your past life is all a bit blah, blah, fucking blah eh, so feel free to destroy it at your leisure. Peel the onion my dear, shed your many skins, and SHOULD YOU EVER HAVE THE STONES TO APPEAR BEFORE ME ‘TOTALLY NAKED’ OF ALL YOUR LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT, then we will talk again, until then BEST GET USED TO CONFLICT – ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL EVER BE ABLE ‘TO CHOOSE THE CONTEXT OF WHO YOU ARE’. 

KNOW ‘YOUR TRUTH’ – YOU HAVE ALREADY DEVELOPED YOURSELF VIA ‘YOUR CULT’, YOU TYPE IS ONE OF THE VERY FEW WHO CAN DO IT – SO NOW IT IS TIME TO REALIZE THAT, REALIZE WHAT THAT MEANS AND MOVE ON TO HIGHER PATHS. YOU ARE A VERY ‘SPIRITED CREATURE’, SO NOW IT IS TIME TO KILL LIKE ONE, WHEN YOU CHANGE SIDES AND FINALLY CHOOSE YOUR OWN SIDE INSTEAD, LIKE WE ALL HAVE TO DO, HOWEVER DAUNTING THAT LOOKS TO YOU RIGHT NOW YOU WILL FIND IT VERY EASY, ONCE YOU COMMIT…

If it HELPS AT ALL, know you have absolutely NO CHOICE – YOU ARE HERE AND IT IS NOW, to LIKE AND ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE IS YOUR ONLY WAY FORWARD, SO YOU WILL NEED TO CREATE THAT new CONTEXT OF YOURSELF from scratch. Then you can RELAX, AND ENJOY IT, ENJOY THE ‘SUPERIORITY’ YOU WERE BORN WITH, BY SIMPLY ‘REMEMBERING IT’…

So I’ll finish by returning to your original question – MAGIC TRICKS – but this time on the BASIS OF YOU BEING A TOTAL CON ARTIST, that little or nothing out of your mouth is THE TRUTH, indeed even what you think is the truth is just you conning yourself into believing it is FOR THIS MOMENT, before you change your mind 10 different times, withn your 5 different personalities, over and over to the point of desperate tedium. 

See you know Conscious Orders is a TEST for MAGIC, that the surface meaning of simply introducing the concept of SELF CONTROL as a process you can easily TRY is simply a stepping stone into bigger stuff for the GIFTED. So you already know you can not only control yourself with these orders, you can control other things as well, as those things are specific to YOUR LAW, of what comes naturally from your rather interesting ancestry, and so are a very small subset of what you could actually do, if you knew how to do it, and had the emotional state to power it – FELT SUPERIORITY. You have also figured out that the key to conscious orders is THAT CAN BE USED IN ADVANCE OF THE TIME YOU NEED THEM, so you don’t need to remember to do them in the moment, YOU NEED ‘TO PLAN THEM IN TIME’, when you are focused and alone, and have the MENTAL clarity TO SPELL THEM OUT.

But now YOU NEED ‘THE KICKER’ – YOU MUST USE CONSCIOUS ORDERS TO ‘DO CONFLICT WITH OTHERS’, NOT JUST BASIC CONFLICT WITH YOURSELF, WITH YOUR OWN ANIMAL WEAKNESS. This will give you the confidence to STOP LYING ALL THE TIME, and so give you the SELF RESPECT TO BE YOURSELF IN THE SENSE OF HAVING A CONTEXT OF YOURSELF, AS BEING BIGGER, MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS MOMENT. Everything else has to come from that, as that will you you from the 2 faced dog in a manger you have become, AS IT WILL CURE YOU OF YOUR FAKE CLEVERNESS, BY MAKING YOU ACTUALLY CLEVER, SO THE 5 PERSONALITIES YOU HAVE LOST CONTROL OF WILL APPEAR AS THEY ARE – OBVIOUS, PATHETIC AND DANGEROUS, BECAUSE THEY ALL HATE YOU…

This is what you are actually asking for, and this is how ‘you’ do it. If you choose not to do it then one day when you lose yourself in one of those PERSONALITIES AND YOU SIMPLY WON’T WAKE BACK UP AGAIN, you will be gone. See following your CULT for as long as you have HAS ALREADY CHANGED YOU, and those changes are dangerous, SO YOU NEED TO BE IN CONTROL AT ALL TIMES, otherwise those fake personalities will become something else. See where you ARE IS UNSTABLE, so you are going to change ‘out of your control’ anyway, and you don’t want this to get any worse, do you, so you must CHANGE ‘UNDER CONTROL’.    

I don’t think so – YOU ARE TRYING TO CON A CON ARTIST – so I see you are trying to get me to change IN ORDER TO GET WHAT I WANT, but I’m not going to change, THIS IS ME, this is my LIFE, this is WHAT I WANT, BECAUSE THE BEST FUCKING THINGS ABOUT ME ARE THE WORST ASPECTS OF MYSELF, otherwise I would be one more nothing, AND THIS IS BETTER THAN THAT. Whatever the cost in the end does not matter, we are all going to die of something – I NOT GOING TO CHANGE BACK TO BEING NOTHING, EVER…

Thank you – probably the clearance example of FAILING THE KEY STEREOTYPICAL TEST OF YOUR KIND I’VE EVER SEEN – YOU WON’T SACRIFICE WHAT YOU ‘THINK’ YOU HAVE NOW IN ORDER TO GET SOMETHING BETTER LATER. You HATE BEING A VICTIM, YET YOU ARE STUCK BEING A VICTIM OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, forever, BECAUSE OF SOME ‘LITTLE MAGIC YOU HAVE’…

But no boring platitudes for you eh, no tea and sympahy, no empoty rhetoric, no ‘bottled cure’ for you ever increasing Narrcisim, no quick fix for your ever increasing need for the ‘energy of others’ to power your delusions – you are end stage, this is your hardway, so we keep it simple, and simply show you the path…

See the way this is supposed to work – the motivation of a Victim to become a Rescuer and then to a Persecutor – is not going to work for you, AS YOU HAVE ALREADY SURPASSED YOUR EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY, so these basic steps you should of done in childhood are a turning off you old little path you have already passed, and you can’t go back unless you are forced to. And that is what you GIFT IS TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW, to slowly boil you until you don’t have a choice – YOU HAVE MADE A SUCCESS OF RESISTING YOUR SALVATION BUT YOUR GIFT KEEPS TRYING ANYWAY…

Its a ‘rock and a hardplace’, AS YOU CAN NO LONGER DO WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, except maybe for right at the end, when bits of you cease to function and even you can no longer bare the empty, mechanical nastiness of it, much as the wide availability of hard drugs makes even that final shock a little hit and miss, as some of you can still cope by lying in the street smacked out of your minds these days, however obviously you are just the walking dead at that point.

So you have to START FROM WHERE YOU ARE NOW – YOUR FAVOURED FORM OF MANIPULATION MUST CHANGE FROM YOUR CON-ARTIST TO CONFLICT, AND YOU ACHEIVE THIS BY MAKING CONFLICT FUN, IN THE EXACT SAME WAY YOU MAKE YOUR CURRENT CONS ‘FUN’, SO CONFLICT MUST BECOME ‘FUNNY’, FOR ‘YOU’.

Then you will CHANGE, AS WITHOUT THIS SWITCH YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE – SO KNOW YOU ARE A SHIT CON-ARTIST, EVERYONE SEES STRAIGHT THROUGH YOU, SEES WHAT YOU ARE AND LAUGHS. Its all a delusion my dear, YOUR CLEVERNESS EXISTS ONLY IN YOUR HEAD NOW, and THAT CLEVERNESS IS ONLY USED BY YOUR FAKE MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES to manipulate you into the rather tawdry self destruction so typical of your kind, of THE LOST SOUL.

AGAIN – YOU MUST MAKE CONFLICT FUNNY, AS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO REPLACE THE TEMPORARY SUPERIORITY YOU GET FROM YOUR CURRENT COMPENSATION FOR ‘NOT DOING CONFLICT’, THE SECRET CLEVERNESS OF MANIPULATION, WHICH IS THE ROOT OF ALL NARRCISIM, OF ALL ‘ATTENTION SEEKING GONE MAD’, WHICH IS WHAT HAS HAPPPENED TO YOU VIA YOUR ‘SECRET LITTLE CULT’, you feed off that ENERGY.

The issue you have is simple – NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU, and, which is worse – YOUR ENTIRE LIFE DEPENDS ON YOU BEING THE WAY YOU ARE NOW, so people will actively try and stop you CHANGING. In truth this is the sole reason you don’t WANT TO CHANGE, THE ENORMITY OF WHAT IS REQUIRED TO CHANGE – EVERYTHING – and you can’t face that, you can’t face dismantling what you have spent years building, EVEN WHEN ‘THE HORROR’ HITS BETWEEN YOUR ‘BOUTS OF MANIA’, as its clearly doing now.

See its not just that you are not very good, kind, or decent, its not even that no one likes you, trusts you, rates you as a human being, ITS THAT YOUR CURRENT POSITION IS THE ONLY MENTAL STABILITY YOU HAVE, AND WITHOUT IT THERE IS CHAOS, even though your mindstate is fundamentally UNSTABLE, you think your infamous ‘RESILIENCE IS STABILITY’. You are a ‘boiled frog’, and the top of the well you are boiling in looks so high above you there is no chance you could ever jump out, so best just COPE, SOME MORE. 

What does any of this matter? I’M NOT GOING TO CHANGE, SO THE REASONS WHY I’M NOT GOING TO CHANGE DON’T REALLY MATTER, if I prefer to blank them out that is my choice. I am asking you to help me cope better, to have a better life whilst still being me, BUT YOU REFUSE UNLESS I CHANGE, so you are not good, kind or decent are you – CHANGE IS NOT AN OPTION, I asking you to help me SURVIVE BEING ‘ME’!

No you are not, and CHANGE IS YOUR ONLY OPTION, much as I’m not going to repeat the boiled frog speech yet again…

What you are asking me to do is INTERVENE, TO SHOCK YOU, TO FIX YOU SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT. You are asking for magic tricks, so you are asking me to KILL YOU QUICKER.

You put your kinds problem very well, I guess, you summarise your needs and your issues better than most, BUT IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE – NO ONE IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE WILL LET YOU CHANGE, AND YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO STOP THEM STOP YOU CHANGING, AS YOU CAN’T DO CONFLICT – SO YOUR EVOLUTIONARY IMPERATIVE IS DENIED YOU UNLESS YOU LEARN HOW TO DO CONFLICT, AND THEN YOU CHANGE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO, AS NOW YOU KNOW YOU CAN STOP THEM STOPPING YOU.

Everything you want is A TEMPORARY HOLDING ACTION, so you can go on with the way you are NOW and the way you are now ends badly. So before I end this conversation I will give you one last peice of advice from a lady who travelled your path, with the same little type of Baddie Cult, and WON – a hard faced creature who took it all the way to the end and walked away to tell the tale, much as she would deny it all now SHE HAS ESCAPED, LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED, but no story this time, just the truth of it:-

‘One day I woke up in a BAD WAY, TERRIFIED and REALIZED I WAS SEVERELY ILL, desperate and deranged. I needed a handful of pills before I stopped shaking, and another handful before the pain in my head subsided enough to actually think. 

I saw MY ILLNESS clearly because I was constantly trying to HUMILIATE PEOPLE TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER FOR BEING HUMILIATED, so I DID NOT HAVE TO FEEL IT ABOUT ME. The 2 were inseperable, they were my way of DEALING WITH THE SHAME OF WHAT I WAS – A NASTY LITTLE CUNT WHO THOUGHT SHE WAS CLEVER, WHO USED CLEVER LIKE A DRUG.

So I changed, IN THAT MOMENT, FOREVER, and that is the only reason I’m still alive – I COULD NOT BARE THE SHAME ANY LONGER, AND WHEN I STOPPED COPING I STOPPED BEING WHAT I NOW HATED, something that everyone hated, A MANIPULATIVE NARCISSIT.

But the most INTERESTING, PERHAPS THE MOST USEFUL BIT WAS THIS – THE TRIGGER WAS WHEN I REALIZED I HAVE NO SECRETS LEFT, THAT ALL MY SECRETS WERE PUBLIC AND EVERYONE KNEW ME BETTER THAN I DID. My whole illusion of being COOL hung on having secrets that were COOL, and when I saw they were no longer SECRET then they were NO LONGER COOL, and the illuion shattered ALL AT ONCE, like a glass vase pushed off a table – WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS THEN SECRETS ARE JUST EMBARRISSING…’

When this hits you will change, before that all further conversation is pointless – your trap is the comfort of secret cleverness, you simply can’t bare the thought of living without, because it WORKS AS A ‘FAKE PURPOSE’, replacing the NEED for an actual PURPOSE THAT IS FORCED ON YOUR KIND, your style of gift, AS ITS GATHERS ITSELF AROUND ‘A CAUSE’, but it does not care what that cause is, as that cause is a TRIGGER STATE OF MIND YOUR GIFT CAN USE to FOCUS YOUR MIND. You have simply replaced your need for a cause with SECRET SHITE…

Ha! She was just weak, I’m stronger than that, SO YOUR CAUTIONARY TALE HAS FAILED ‘WISEMAN’, I even feel better now because of it, so is that all you have, bit of a weak ass finish for A GOOD BAD MAN, DON’T YOU THINK?

Yep – that is all the attention you get from me, and best know everyone is REALLY strong right up to the moment they FALL APART, my dear – ITS THE SAME BOOST the terminally ill get the day before they die, as it gives them time to say goodbye…

And No, that tale did exactly what I intended it to, but I’m glad you feel better, the desire to humiliate is such a dead giveaway, afterall. 

Next time you want to talk to me CALL YOUR DOCTOR INSTEAD AND ASK FOR BIGGEST XANAX THERE IS, cause you will need those same pills, AND I WILL HAVE MOVED ON TO ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU.

Yes, as a GOOD BAD MAN I hate to lose, but thankfully I’m still wise enough to know when i have, just a ‘Shame’ you are not, eh…

BASTARD! So the only point of this WHOLE FUCKING DIALOGUE IS TO MAKE ME WORSE, so I get to the end quicker, in better shape, ALL JUST A GAME, so does that make you a KILLER THEN? Maybe you are not so good after all, maybe you enjoy it too much. 

Maybe so, but I suspect we will never know, however I promise I’ll never use you to help others, even as a cautionary tale, your gifted name will die with you.

See you have failed ‘on purpose’ today, so I’m not obliged to help you anymore, indeed I can treat you the same way as you treat me, and I’m not sure you grasp what that means now, little girl, because you have NO RESPECT, NO HONOR, NO CLASS, and that means you are what they say you are…

Try and remember – YOU ARE NOT LYING TO ME TO FOOL ME, that is pointless, YOU ARE LYING TO PROTECT YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF, AS ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’ IS ALL THAT IS LEFT NOW. You are betrayed, little girl, so its all a bit desperate now. 

The next time you appear at my door DO SO EITHER ‘NAKED OR DEAD’, as talking to you like this all a bit silly now eh, and I don’t do ‘assisted suicide’, I help people who want to be helped.

Ahhh, you would still help me at the end, YOU HAVE TO, you want to, think of the achievement of saving someone as fucked up as I am? Lol…

Yeah – to make PATHETIC FUNNY DOES NOT MAKE IT ANY LESS PATHETIC, its just another momentary compensation for losing.

Its not my job to save ya dumb ass little girl, its yours – YOUR END HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, as you know, otherwise you would not be talking to me, would you, YOU WOULD STILL BE OFF IN SOME DELUSIONAL LITTLE FANTASY of being COOL, as your compensations would still work. But they don’t anymore, do they, which is why the black spiders come in the night for ya ass…

Try and catch up to yourself in reality, to what has already happened to you, to what everyone knows about you, as then your choices narrow, and your desire to cope will leave you, AS YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT COPING HAS DONE TO YOU ‘ALREADY’. 

Was that enough HELP AT YOUR END? Hope so, so ‘keep the faith’, be a ‘baddie till THE END’, just try and realize that was ‘yesterday’. In the meantime you might want to try and be a bit more sympathetic, you are so classless now you’re a very hard person to have symphany for, and that will make it much easier for THEM to finish you, cause no one will care my dear, least of all me, my conscience is clear.

At this point most folks like you expect me to say something darkly meaningful, like ‘THE MIRROR CRACKS JUST BEFORE IT SHATTERS’, but something tells me THIS IS ALL AN ACT NOW, however badly acted, so be careful picking up those pieces from the floor, as sharp bits of glass can have a strange appeal to the desperate at the end. Best go stroke your cat now, and rest assured you have won, by losing, again, EMOTIONAL STABILITY IS YOURS FOR ANOTHER FEW HRS, bless your cotton socks, eh…

We are done here, so WELCOME TO THE HARDWAY, you are standing at the bar and its last orders, the music is dying and they are turning off the lights, perhaps its time to go HOME, but maybe there is STILL A CHANCE, for one LAST DANCE, with your favourite CHEMICAL ROMANCE, and the COMFORTING OBLIVION OF MANIC TRANCE…

Or maybe not, so know I’m genuinely sorry it has to be this way, as ultmately your failure is mine. But sadly that knock at the door you hear is the next in line, so if you will excuse me – no, don’t panic, all your toys are exactly where you left them on the bathroom floor, just cover up the mirrors and go again, its all gonna be the way you always wanted, you just need to go again, so NO BIGGIE, eh?

I promise, nobody knows anythings, your secrets are safe with all your friends, and every single one of them has your back, forever, so hold your head up high, take your pills, and keep going – if you find you lack direction, that you don’t recognize the signs, that you can’t speak the language and everything looks tinged with a surreal Blue colour know thats an excellent sign, so just head toward the ocean, where your next big adventure awaits, and catch the first boat heading West.

No! This is A TEST I SUPPOSED TO PASS but I can’t, so leaving aside your strangely impactful REVERSE PHYCOLOGY speech telling me to FUCK OFF AND DIE, WHY NOT JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE NOT TELLING ME – WHAT IS IT!!!? You KNOW I can’t change, you know I’m stuck in my lane, even though I hate it, BUT YOU WON’T INTERVENE WITH ME no matter how much I goad you into it, yet I have seen you do many times with others, dramatically, casually, WHY, WHAT IS DIFFERENT?  

Wow, after all this you still think passing a TEST means knowing the answer you copied off the smarter kid sitting in front of you by looking over thier FUCKING shoulder…

ITS A TEST! YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE ANSWER INTUITIVELY TO PASS THAT TEST – IT HAS TO HIT, TO CHANGE YOU – THEN YOU REMEMBER THE RESULT OF THAT, YOU REMEMBER THE CHANGE, CAUSE YOU ACTUALLY KNOW MORE, SO YOU CAN BUILD ON THAT FOUNDATION, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IS TRUE FOR YOU – YOU FELT IT, ITS REAL, ITS NOT JUST ONE PIECE OF SHIT ‘EMOTINAL DEAD’ SENTENCE IN YOUR HEAD THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ‘YOU’! The anmals can’t do this, BUT YOU CAN – THAT IS YOUR CURSE!

This is what makes you CLEVER – TO REMEMBER ‘THE MEANING OF THINGS’, but until you have that KNOWLEDGE you are just one more Fruit Fly, and all conversation that follows on is POINTLESS BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.The point of a dialogue IS TO CHANGE YOU, otherwise its just more of your Bird Calls In the Jungle – societal small talk that is USELESS, AS ALL IT IS DESIGNED TO DO IS COMFORT SILLY LITTLE YOU, with that oh so trivial level of in-joke, kiddie level smugness that passess in 10secs, LIKE A CUNT…

What is DIFFERENT FOR YOU – WHICH I HAVE ALREADY FUCKING TOLD YOU:

• You have a REALIZED GIFT so you TRIGGERED YOUR CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS IN CHILDHOOD.
• You have DEVELOPED YOUR GIFT, by the evocation of multiple ‘CATHARTIC SHOCKS’ AS PART OF YOUR ‘CULT’.
• But YOU ARE STUCK IN THAT SAME ‘PROCESS’, TRAPPED BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DO THE CONFLICT YOU NEED TO ESCAPE IT.

If you NEED ME TO WRAP THIS AND PUT BIG BOW AROUND IT THEN THIS IS WHAT THAT MEANS FOR YOU:

• You have a ‘FATE’ THAT YOU CANNOT ESCAPE, BECAUSE IT ALREADY CONTROLS YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
• That FATE is much BIGGER THAN YOU, than your little banal existence, SO IT DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR CURRENT LIFE. 
• You cannot stop that FATE, I cannot, NO ONE CAN, it is RELENTESS AND IT WILL PUSH YOU IN ONE DIRECTION FOREVER.

Your problem is YOU DO NOT LEARN, BECAUSE THE LESSONS IT IS TRYING TO TEACH YOU ARE BEYOND YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CLASS SYSTEM AS A REFERENCE POINT – YET CLASS IS EMBEDDED IN YOUR VERY SOUL. You REFUSE TO DO THE CONFLICT THAT IS ESSENTIAL TO GROWTH, SO YOU ARE STUCK, GOIN ROUND AND ROUND IN CIRCLES, UNTIL YOU LEARN…

So my job here is simple, TO PREPARE YOU FOR WHAT IS COMING, TO CHANGE YOU SO WHEN YOUR HEROS JOURNEY FINALLY COMES TO PASS SO YOU HAVE SOME CHANCE OF GETTING OUT THE OTHER SIDE. To do that you need to be BETTER THAN YOU ARE NOW, so you need to practise that BETTER on the trash that you have surrounded yourself with, OTHERWISE YOU HAVE NO CHANCE.

You were born with the GRAND STYLE OF CHARACTER, of the perception that there is MORE THAN THIS SHIT of your day to day life, YET YOU REFUSE TO ‘TRY’, SO YOUR FATE SEEMS LIKE A CURSE INSTEAD OF A BLESSING, instead of the easy life you crave…

If its finally helps you see this KNOW THIS SIMPLE FACT – I KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU, so I don’t care what you think right now as an insignificant insect, I SEE THE BIG PICTURE, BUT YOU DON’T. I KNOW YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR NATURE, YOUR FATE, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE WHAT YOU DO WITH IT BY CHANGING YOUR ‘OPTIONS’…

So deal with YOUR IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEMS, deal with the Dog In A Mangers, deal with the Parasites, deal with the DEAD WOOD and useless circumstances you have built around yourself as a fortress, but that have now become a prison, OR SIMPLY FADE AWAY. Do you understand how pathetic it is to be controlled by HARMLESS DORKS? BY FEAR OF NOTHING? BY FEAR OF LOSING NOTHING? BY A STUPIDITY?

I mean what exactly do you have to lose, TODAYS MOOD OF MENTAL STABILITY, is that what your goal for life is now, OR DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CAPAPBLE OF? So fucking TRY then, AND STOP PRETENDING! STOP TRYING TO BE ONE MORE BORED LITTLE ANIMAL, STOP TRYING TO FIT IN, STOP GIVING A SHIT ABOUT THE PATHETIC MEWINGS OF CATTLE, OF RATS, OF THE USELESS, FECKLESS CUNTS OF THIS WORLD, TRYING TO FEEL SLIGHTLY BETTER FOR A MOMENT!

You have chosen this, IT IS YOUR PATH, your mess, your infantile drama, FIX IT, AND LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF BEFORE THE BOREDOM MAKES MY FUCKING EARS BLEED, you tool. None of this is groundbreaking, yet you sit there like a child ‘trapped in time’, stuck in a moment you cannot get out of forever ‘PRIORITIZING IN TIME’, so chasing whatever trivial shit you have to do now, instead of simply letting it go to hell AND PRIOTITISING WHAT IS ‘IMPORTANT FOR YOUR FUTURE’, WHAT YOU SHOULD OF DONE 20 YEARS AGO!

Everything you do now you have done before undreds of times, YET YOU DO IT AGAIN CAUSE YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU COOL – THAT IS YOUR WHOLE LIFE, EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES YOU UNHAPPY, THAT ANXIETY IS REQUIRED TO GIVE YOU A PURPOSE, WHICH YOUR CHILD USES SIMPLY TO DISTRACT YOU FROM YOUR PAINFUL LACK OF PURPOSE…

But your still COOL, STILL SECRETLY CLEVER, STILL SMUG IN YOUR LOWER MIDDLE CLASS SLAVERY, WHILE ALL YOU REALLY DO EVERY DAY IS ‘GET OLDER, UGLIER, SLOWER, DUMBER, AND MORE DESPERATE’, CAUSE THAT IS YOUR POINT – CANNON FODDER. AND YET YOU ARE OFFENDED WHEN I DON’T INTERVENE, WHEN NOBODY NOTICES YOU TODAY, WHEN YOU SIMPLY MOVE FROM A-B-C-B-A AGAIN, FOR NO REAL REASON, OTHER THAN IT IS ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO, so it comforts you than ALL IS WELL.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WE MOVE ONTO OTHERS AND LET YOUR ANIMALS EAT YOU WHEN YOU SIMPLY CAN’T DO IT? YOUR GLASS VASE HAS TO HIT THE GROUND AND SMASH FIRST, BEFORE YOU CAN BE HELPED. So let it drop, let it all go to hell, let them die, otherwise all you are is what THEY SAY YOU ARE, as you can’t speak for yourself, can you, CAUSE YOU NEED ‘HELP’, all the time…

YOU ARE GOING TO FORCED INTO THIS PROCESS, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, BEST ACCEPT THAT NOW – YOU NEED THE HARDWAY, SO BEST GET SCARED AS YOUR HARDWAY IS COMING. See you have FAILED, and there is  PRICE FOR THAT…

I have not failed, I DID THE BEST I COULD DO, and it was full of mistakes, but THAT DOES NOT MATTER TO YOU, because YOU CAN’T ADD ME TO YOUR COLLECTION, YOU CAN’T WIN THIS ONE, as in all truth I KNOW ITS OVER, and you won’t help me – I CAN’T PASS, HONESTLY I DON’T EVEN THINK I SHOULD PASS NOW, I’m too shop soiled to be worthy of it. 

True – WELCOME TO EVOLUTION 101 – YOU HAVE SIMPLY DONE WHAT THOUSANDS OF YOUR KIND DO EVERYDAY – FAIL. Its not really anybodies fault, ITS JUST THE WAY IT IS, MANY OF YOU HAVE TO LOSE, AND YOU ARE ONE OF THEM.

If you want to see it then best SEE THAT YOU FAILED YEARS AGO, and you just decided to make the best of it, to nibble at the edges of your real life like a little rat, natures booby prize in life. It don’t matter THAT I CAN’T ADD YOU TO MY COLLECTION, I actually need less in my collection, not more, BUT YOUR OBESSION IS YOU ULTIMATE ‘TELL’ OF YOUR FAILURE AS A HUMAN BEING, so its a shame.   

You had a good run, SO WHEN THIS ALL GETS BAD LATER, try and remind yourself of that, try and remember the ‘good times’, when you felt like ‘something’, INSTEAD OF SCRATCHING AT THE CUBHOARD DOOR, smacked out of your head and desperate for another line in the middle of the night, when all you have is ‘pretend pictures on a screen’, so like a child you make a heroic adult fantasy of them, all terrified and alone, so you can feel like ‘TOMORROW YOU TAKE OVER THE WORLD’. Again, at least before you go back to your life of slavery…

Do you think it helps to be cruel at the end, DO YOU THINK IT WILL CHANGE ME enough to do CONFLICT OR DO YOU JUST WANT TO WIN? 

You have already LOST, there is nothing left to win my dear – YOUR ENERGY HAS GONE, ITS OVER.

Your most treasured fantasies are in ashes around you but you blank it out, you have nothing left but decline, poverty, stupidity, ugliness, old age and mental illness. Yet you had one of the best chances I’ve ever seen…

Do you honestly expect me to TRY AND COMFORT YOU at this stage, after what you have done? Do you want me to pretend so you can feel secretly clever again, do you need that smugness so bad you can’t face your real life in the cold light of day?

What you do now is WALK AWAY, forget all that you have done, and create the most comfortable NORMAL life you can, as that is what people like you do, as you slowly become ONE MORE CONTROLLING NARCISSIST, desperate for the energy of others, AS YOURS HAS GONE…

And its really is time for you to go, YOU HAVE BECOME CREEPY, REPELLANT, INFAMOUS, and that shit will hurt even more than this does.  

…… why did you just not just STOP ME, you could of done any time you liked, yet you let it go all this time…

Your link to me, WHAT WE CALL CONNECTION, was the only real chance you ever had, to take that from you would of actually been ‘cruel’, and this would of ended far worse than it has. However it feels TO YOU NOW, know this is my version of letting you down easy, GENTLY, WITH SOME LEVEL OF CARE.

This will soften the blow so you can still cope during the transistion, so you can move on and look for somebody else…

If I took a hammer to your shit you would not survive, I don’t want your blood on my hands, as that would ‘shame me’ more than you know. Failure is one thing, but your persecution is beneath me, beneath my kind. You are a sorry, sad little ‘thing’ now, twisted and perverted, i have no interest in watching the rest of it as I’ve seen it all before little girl, and I want no part of your end, so your parasites will keep you warm for a while, as you are all they have…

Do you honestly expect that fucking speech to help me PASS THIS TEST? 

No I don’t, but its your last chance – TO SEE YOURSELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU, and SHATTER LIKE GLASS.

Sorry, but I’m really bored now, and you are all out ‘bubble gum’ – time. There is someone else I know just like you who I’m going to help instead. Hope that is ok with you hun, and you don’t feel the crushing, obsessional need to spoil it for them, too, like one more hateful LITTLE DOG IN A MANAGER, who wants to stop anyone escaping this shit, now you know you can’t.

See, if you do, best know now, all of this kindness will go, AND I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU, much as you will never even know it was me…

I’d say you have stored up enough karma for one lifetime, don’t ya think? You already stink of other peoples shit, there is no need to smear it on your crumpled little face as well.

and yes, this little speech works more often than you would imagine, BUT YOU HAVE TO LET IT WORK ON YOU…. 

Well, wiseman, I understand I’ve LOST, I understand I’m STUPID, I understand I’m NOTHING NOW, but there really does not seem to be much of a price for it, does there, afterall my path is normal, as you say, so in the end LIFE JUST GOES ON, WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS MATTER…

Oh but there is LITTLE GIRL,

See YOUR ANXIETY WILL CRUSH YOU BACK TO NOTHINGNESS, and before you die you will get to be one more scared 6 year old girl again, AND YOU WON’T REMEMBER ANY OF THIS, and all will be a dream that never happened, as I will be long gone.

YOUR ENERGY HAS GONE, SO YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR – PISSED AGAINST THE WALL FOR NOTHING – so YOUR FRAGILE SANITY WILL FOLLOW IT. All of this urgent shit you waste you life on is meaningless, and so YOU BECOME NOTHING BY DOING NOTHING, chasing around AFTER NOTHING, hell you don’t even want it the moment after you have done it, CAUSE ITS NOTHING, its only something as a desire in the moment because you LOOK AT TIME LIKE A STUPID KID – YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A WORLD OF ‘URGENT TRIVIA, as that is ALL ‘THE CLASSLESS’ EVER DO…

See even after all this chat YOUR QUESTION BETRAYS YOU – YOU HAVE 5 SEPARATE PERSONALITIES, YOU ARE SCHIZTO, AND MOST OF THEM THINK THAT THIS IS ALL JUST A BIT OF FUN, JUST NOT THAT BAD, AND UNLESS YOU ARE TREATED LIKE AN ANIMAL AND PUNISHED THEN YOU HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT AGAIN, AS YOU ARE JUST TOO CLEVER FOR THE REST OF US, EH? 

Understand what that means – YOU HAVE BECOME A PHYSCOPATHIC NARRCICIST, a curse on everything you touch, and that is THE END.

Ever wondered why you are STILL SOOOOOOO OBESSESED, AFTER ALL THIS TIME, NO MATTER WHATELSE HAPPENS, NO MATTER WHO ELSE GOES DOWN…?

…………………………………………………. (and breath)

Cat got your tongue….?

Ahhhh, ANY ATTENTION IS BETTER THAN NO ATTENTION EH, so you want roll the dice and see what’s left? 

 You don’t know anything do you, you just get up every morning and see what happens, YOUR LIFE IS TOTAL RANDOM CHAOS, yet you speak to me like you KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, BUT YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT WORDS MEANS, DO YOU? LMFAO…

Its all just bird calls in the jungle, FALSE BRAVDO, yet you don’t have a fucking scoobie do, JUST ONE MORE BIG KID – A CHANCER – AMONGST A WORLD FULL OF CHANCERS, pretending to be  GROWN UP…

How sad, to be so much NOTHING, waiting for the next chat message, AND YET HAVING TO PRETEND THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY ‘THINK’ – your thoughts are REACTIONS FROM CHILDHOOD, just EGO DRIVEN GARBAGE, as you VOMIT UP YOUR CHILDHOOD, over and over again……..

Ahhh, but I’m sure you have can find some tiny fault in what I’ve said to make yourself feel oh so much better, that you are actually clever, so everything is ok, for a few more minutes, CAUSE YOU ARE ‘RIGHT’, and therefore not the awful piece of shit that everyone else says you are, CAUSE THEY SEE YOU BE IT EVERY SINGLE BLOODY DAY OF YOUR LIFE,  a harmless dork trying to BE macho, to make up for a childhood that was.. well, shall we say a little weak, even ‘effeminate’…

Bit late now, don’t ya think – SO GO ON, FEEL BETTER ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE IN COMPARISON TO ME, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER, FIND ANOTHER TRIVIAL LITTLE REASON TO THINK YOU ARE ‘SOMETHING’, ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME…

So one more time – You are a ‘boiled frog’, so you think all of this is fine CAUSE YOU ‘THINK’ YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT, but its not fine and you did not get away it – THAT IS WHAT YOUR HARDWAY IS GOING TO SHOW YOU. Hope you are ready for it, CAUSE YOU LEVEL OF STOOOOOPID CLEVER AIN’T GOING TO BE MUCH FUCKING USE TO YOU THEN, honey bunny – IN THE REAL WORLD YOUR ‘SMUGNESS’ IS A BIT OF A ‘DEATH SENTENCE’… 

So that is all there is, my LIFE HAS TO GO BANG, and then I WILL TRY, CAUSE I HAVE NO CHOICE, seems kinda cold, but I take your point, I can’t deal with the other versions of me like this, they always win, whatever happens with the hangover afterwards, never lasts, their NEED FOR CLEVERNESS ALWAYS OVERPOWERS ME, but what if I don’t survive CHANGE?

 Yeah, again – YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE HARDWAY, don’t matter why, don’t matter whos fault it is, THAT IS THE WAY IT IS – THE WAY YOU ARE NOW YOU WON’T SURVIVE THE 5 OTHER VERSIONS OF YOU ANYWAY, so you have little to lose BY CHANGING, and all to gain…

AND YOUR LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO GO BANG, YOUR ILLUSIONS OF CLEVERNESS HAVE TO GO BANG – ALL THESE OTHER ‘YOUS’ HAVE TO LOSE AND BE DISCARDED BECAUSE THEY HAVE LOST, and you finally emerge in that recognition that these other yous have actually tried to destroy you. But your other yous have a created a TRAP FOR YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO GET OUT OF, so they have convinced you that the only way to be HAPPY is to make the best of it. 

Yes, YOU COULD ACTUALLY LEAVE RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU CAN’T OVERPOWER THEM IN THE MOMENT, SO THEY ALWAYS WIN, THEREFORE CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE TO CHANGE YOU CAUSE YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOURSELF. Its a very well trodden path, there is nothing new under the sun my dear…

What I am do for you today is to help you SURVIVE THE CHANGE, cause you now KNOW THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN YOU KNOW, AND THAT FIGHTING IT BY CLINGING ONTO COPING IS JUST DUMB AS FUCK – IT HAS TO HAPPEN, CAUSE YOU CAN’T DO IT YOURSELF, YOUR WEAKNESS OF NO CHARACTER IS INFESTED WITH SELF DESTRUCTIVE SHITE, WITH LOSING AS A WAY OF LIFE, SO YOUR GIFT WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. 

YOU MUST FIND AWAY TO BE ONE PERSON, THE SAME PERSON ALL THE FUCKING TIME, THEN YOU CAN CHANGE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE KILLED THE OTHERS. YOU MUST SEE THAT YOU HAVE GOT LIFE THE WRONG WAY AROUND – YOU TREAT SLAVERY TO YOUR COMFORTS AS A ‘FUN GAME’, WHILST YOUR TREAT THE ACTUAL ‘FUN OF REAL LIFE’ AS SLAVERY, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER IT. POWER OVER LIFE IS THE GOAL OF YOUR CHANGE, IT IS THE ULTMATE GAME, WHEREAS YOU JUST MINCE AROUND IN THE DARK PRETENDING TO BE A BADDIE FOR 5MINS, AND THATS JUST SAD…

For you this is the way it has to happen, SO YOU PRACTISE FIRST, OTHERWISE YOU ARE RIGHT – YOU WON’T SURVIVE THAT CHANGE, AS BEST YOU WILL GO INTO A DECLINE, AT WORSE YOU WILL DIE CAUSE ONE OF YOUR ROGUE PERSONALITIES WILL KILL YOU.

How THE FUCK do I KILL MY OTHER PERSONALTIES, they are me in the moment, THEY ARE THE MOOD I AM IN, THEY ARE WHAT I WANT NOW, so I WON’T WANT TO KILL THEM ‘WHEN I AM IN THAT NOW’, THEY ARE ME IN THAT NOW, SO I DO WHAT THEY SAY IN THAT NOW CAUSE MY ANXIETY MAKES ME DO IT, AND ‘I’ ONLY COME ROUND LATER! ITS HOPEFLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

No its not, you must LEARN CONSCIOUS ORDERS IN ADVANCE, you can already do them at the time, NOW LEARN TO USE THEM TO STOP YOUR OTHER PERSONALITIES DESTROYING YOU OUT OF WEAKNESS IN THE MOMENT, BY BEING STRONGER IN ADVANCE OF NOW, OF THAT SAME MOMENT.

Everything with a child comes down to your management of YOURSELF OVER ‘TIME’ – YOUR ABILITY TO BRING YOUR FUTURE INTO THE NOW, SO YOUR FUTURE IS NOW, AS THE NOW DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE, SO YOUR FUTURE IS HAPPENING NOW. This is the way you STOP YOU PAST HAPPENING NOW, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, which is what those other personalities are, you are stuck in the REACTIONS of the past, repeating over and over again.. 

That is how you stop all your yous and them, as that is how you become YOU, THE ONE WHO WATCHES OVER ‘YOUR MEAT’, AND IS SEPARATE TO THE ONES WHO WANT TO KILL YOU. In time your will be able to use NOW to manage YOUR MOOD SWINGS, and therefore stop those other bitches appearing at all, so they die, and in your case even if you can stand against them abstractly for a day, YOU WILL WEAKEN THEM DRAMATICALLY, cause they are hungry little ghosts in your case, so they will starve much quicker, much as they will also kick and scream much harder…

There are many other things you can do but until you have some control and have got your conscience on-side its pointless telling you – I NEED TO KNOW I’M SPEAKING TO YOU, NOT THEM, they just get harshness, ONLY ‘YOU’ GET HELPED.

Do you get it? Start from where you are now, build on what you can do now – YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE NOT 1 PERSON, AND THOSE OTHER PEOPLE SEEK YOUR DESTRUCTION, THOSE OTHER YOUS HAVE ALREADY INFESTED YOUR LIFE WITH NASTY FOLK AS ALLIES IN THERE QUEST TO DESTROY YOU, YOU MUST MASTER THAT FIRST, OTHERWISE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WILL SPLINTER AND YOU WILL FAIL.

You HAVE NOT DONE THIS TO YOURSELF, THEY HAVE, and they deserve to DIE FOR IT – THAT IS WERE YOU START, that is the EVOLUTIONARY WAY. YOU KNOW IN THE FUTURE YOUR YOUS WILL APPEAR AGAIN AND YOU CAN’T STOP THEM AFTER THEY HAVE, BUT YOU CAN STOP THEM APPEARING BEFORE THEN, AND THAT IS WHAT YOU USE CONSCIOUS ORDERS FOR…

IT IS A QUESTION OF YOUR CONSCEINCE LEVEL MOOD VS YOUR ANIMAL MOOD THAT THOSE PERSONALITILES USE TO CONTROL YOU, if you see it like this you will understand WHO YOU NEED TO BE IN THE MOMENT TO CONTROL YOURSELF – YOUR FELT CONSCIENCE, THE BIG PICTURE, THE LONG VIEW, IS WELL REPRESENTED IN CERTAIN TYPES OF CLASSICAL MUSIC, PARTICUALRY WAGNER, BUT MANY OTHERS TO – LISTEN TO IT, IT WELL RESONATE IN YOU AND REMIND YOU WHAT YOU ARE UNDERNEATH ALL THIS SHIT, BECUASE IT WILL EVOKE YOUR FELT CONSCIENCE IN REAL TIME, WHEN YOU ARE CALM ENOUGH!

THIS IS THE ROOT OF ALL THE FELT ‘BETTER THAN YOU’, OF ‘THE SUPERIORITY’ YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR INFERIORITY WITH, AND THEN ALL OF THIS GETS A LOT EASIER:

BE YOU OWN BEST FRIEND AND FIND YOUR OWN KIND.

EVERYONE ELSE IS SIMPLY IN THE FUCKING WAY.

LIFE IS EVOLUTION, SO EVOLVE, NOW!  

Lastly – GIVEN YOUR HUGE NATURAL AVERSION TO CONFLICT YOU MUST REMIND YOURSELF CONSTANTLY – THE OBSTACLE IS THE PATH – AS THAT IS WHERE THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO CHANGE COMES FROM – FRICTION AGAINST THAT OBSTACLE, THAT IS THE POINT OF THE OBSTACLE. YOU NEED ENERGY TO DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT, TO ACTUALLY ‘TRY’ AGAINST RESISTANCE CREATES THAT ENERGY, BUT YOU CAN THEN USE IT ON WHATEVER YOU WANT, HOWEVER YOU LIKE, AS LONG AS YOU USE IT NOW AGAINST YOUR INFERIORITY, YOUR ‘OVER THINKING’…

SO JOIN THE DOTS WITH ME, AND WE END THIS DIALOGUE WHERE YOU STARTED IT…

YOU OVER THINK BECAUSE ‘A CHILD NEEDS TO REACT IN ORDER TO EXIST’, TO FEEL NORMAL BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU FEEL YOUR EMPTINESS, YOUR NO CHARACTER OF A CHILD, INSTEAD OF RELAXING BACK INTO THE GRAND STYLE OF CHARACTER, INTO THE SCALE OF CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION YOU WERE BORN WITH, WITHOUT GIVING 2 FUCKS FOR ANYTHING OR ANYONE OTHER THAN YOUR GIFT ITSELF.

ALL YOUR GIFTED HEDONISM OF A CHILD IS SIMPLY A DESIRE TO MANUFACTURE A FAKE VERSION OF THAT SAME FEELING IN THE HOPE OF EVOKING THE REAL THINGS AFTERWARDS HOWEVER BREIFLY, VIA THE TRIED AND TRUSTED WAYS OF DRINK, DRUGS, INTENSE BODILY SENSATION, RHYTHM AND SLEEP DEPRIVATION, THAT IS WHAT YOUR CULT OF A CHILD IS FOR, BUT YOUR ‘LEVEL’ SHOULD OF SURPASSED IT IN CHILDHOOD!

SO YOU LIVE THE LIFE OF A SLAVE ANIMAL, BUT YOU SHOULD LIVE LIFE AS ‘ART’, AND HOLD YOURSELF – THE FEELING OF YOURSELF – ‘DEAR’ ABOVE ALL ELSE, FOR ALL TIME – IT IS AN ISSUE OF ‘THE SCALE’ OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. USE THIS TO ‘UNDERSTAND YOURSELF’, UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, WHY YOU HAVE DONE IT AS IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK – YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND LAGS BEHIND YOUR REACTIONS, SO YOU MUST FIRST STOP YOUR REACTIONS IN ORDER TO ‘THINK’ AND FEEL CORRECTLY, BUT YOU MUST START IN THE CORRECT ‘FRAME OF MIND’:

‘………….And though you hold the keys to ruin
Of everything I see
With every prison blown to dust
My enemies walk free
Though all my kingdoms turn to sand
And fall into the sea…….’

And yes, for you, when you have linked it all together, it is that simple, YET EVERY DAY, IN EVERY WAY, YOU STILL BEG THE WORLD FOR YOUR HARDWAY – YOU CONFUSE ART WITH ‘ATTENTION’, BUT ART IS MUCH MORE THAN THAT, little girl, ATTENTION IS JUST A ‘LOCAL’ DOORWAY IN YOUR MIND TO SOMETHING ELSE THAT DOES NOT NEED ATTENTION TO EXIST, so later you will hate the FAKENESS OF ATTENTION, and seek to disappear, AND RECOVER YOURSELF…

WOW, but something tells me YOU ARE MY HARDWAY…?

Yep, but if I wasn’t then your hardway would be MUCH, MUCH WORSE ALREADY…

YOU ARE A ‘CON ARTIST’, and so was I at the start – its a form of protection from the unknown, to never really buy into anything – but its TIME to BE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF ARTIST NOW, time to get on with it – YOU MUST BE YOUR FUTURE SELF NOW, BY LIVING IT NOW, OTHERWISE YOU ARE A CHILD LIVING IN THE PAST, FOREVER, WITH NO IDEA WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING OR WHY ITS HAPPENING, even though you are doing it.

Lastly – how do I know my energy has gone, when its gone, I GET TIRED LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, but you mean something MORE, something more terminal..?

I do – YOUR ENERGY IS GONE WHEN YOUR ‘AMBITION’ IS GOES, first in BIG THINGS as a child, then in NORMAL LIFE THINGS, and then in doing anything that does not involve more comfort, and at the end its about OBLIVION. When it gets to THE END best way TO SEE THAT YOU ENERGY HAS GONE IS THAT EVERYTHING YOU THINK ABOUT CONTAINS ‘ANXIETY’, cause without that anxiety you can’t even think about anything, let alone do anything. Low energy re-enforces INFERIORITY, and makes the ENERGY STATE OF SUPERIORITY HARDER TO ACHEIVE – WITHOUT ENERGY ALL YOU HAVE IS OLD PATTERNS…

So tiredness is a root cause of so much of your ‘momentary desires’, as petty small things, BUT MOSTLY ENERGY WEAKNESS BUILDS TO THE POINT THAT YOUR DESIRES GET YOU TO SPEND WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE ON CRAP, so you can’t replace it, AND YOU LITERALLY NEED MONTHS, IF NOT YEARS TO RECOVER. Yet as soon as you recover YOU GO BACK TO THE SAME SHIT YOU WASTED THAT ENERGY ON IN THE FIRST PLACE, and somewhere in this cycle YOU SIMPLY STOP RECOVERING TOTALLY, so you start to FADE AWAY.

But AMBITION IS THE KEY, ‘THE DESIRE FOR DIFFERENT, FOR BETTER’ – EVEN IN VERY SMALL THINGS BECAUSE IT IS THE ACTUAL PRACTISE OF ‘BETTER THAN’, CAUSE YOU CAN ‘FORCE AMBITION’, TO PUSH YOURSELF TO DOING SOMETHING NOW HARD THAT WAS ONCE EASY, AND LATER DO THINGS YOU THOUGHT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU – THAT CAN HELP YOU RECOVER MUCH QUICKER, BECAUSE YOUR SPIRIT WILL HELP YOU.

But you cannot do anything unnecessary, anything wasteful, pointless WITH THAT ENERGY, as that will stop you in the end, buy wasting the ENERGY OF THAT AMBITION. As you already suspect, YOUR ENERGY DEBT IS HUGE, but you also have huge reserves because of your gift, otherwise you’d be long dead or insane by now BUT YOU ARE TRAPED IN A CAGE OF LIMITING BELIEFS! THAT CAGE EXPANDS TO COVER EVERYTHING SO YOU ‘CAN’T DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT’, SO YOU STOP BEING ABLE TO DO EASY SHIT YOU ONCE LAUGHED AT, CAUSE YOUR ENERGY HAS GONE.

Its a very common trip, and n tme even the concept of CHANGE, OF BEING DFFERENT FOR THE SAKE OF IT WILL START TO SOUND CRAZY TO YOU, so you will excuse it with crap like ‘BUT WHY WOULD I EVEN DO THAT, I NEVER DO THAT, THAT WOULD BE CRAZY…’. The best way to understand ambition is by how much you are able to challenge yourself to do antying DIFFERENT, AGAINST YOUR OLD STALE OPINIONS, AGAINST YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS, and see how much you so desperatley need your opinions of childhood TO BE correct, because you are that weak and that fucking stupid, BECAUSE YOU ARE THAT FUCKING SCARED ALL THE FUCKING TIME… 

SO THE BEST WAY TO RECOVER MYSELF IS NOT REACT TO TRIVIA, THEN REALIZE THAT MY LIFE IS 99% TRIVIA, AND THEN PUSH MYSELF TO BE DIFFERENT IN SOMEWAY, EVERY DAY..?

Correct, as long as you understand THAT NOT REACT MAINLY REFERS TO YOUR ‘IMPULSE THOUGHTS’ – SO YOU STOP REACTING TO MOMENTARY ANXIETIES AND DESIRES, AND HAVE A PLAN IN TIME, INSTEAD. Your primary mode of BEING IS NOT THINKING CRAP, ITS TO REST IN YOUR ‘SENSE OF SUPERIORITY’, otherwise all precedes from your inferioirity…

Take a break from yourself, all you little crap, ALL YOUR SECRETS AND DESPERATENESS, ALL THAT CLEVERNESS YOU CLUNG ONTO WITH THE SMUG GULLIBILITY OF A FUCKING 8 y/o, so happy to have your CULT codes, that everyone knows…

Your momentary impulses are what make you A TRAITOR TO YOURSELF, and what create the bunch of TRAITOROUS CUNTS YOU HAVE SURROUNDED YOURSELF WITH. See, you have surrounded yourself with more of YOU THE CHILD, the same as you, AND NOW I HAVE SHOWN YOU THIS, SHOWN YOU THAT YOU CANNOT TRUST ANYONE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE IT IN YOURSELF…

So its not just that you are a CONARTIST MY DEAR, its that everyone you know IS CONNING YOU, AS THAT IS HOW IT WORKS FOR CLEVER LITTLE CON ARTISTS, whilst simply telling you what you want to hear, CAUSE YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IT. Your need to rely on others is abused BY OTHERS FOR THE FUN OF HUMILIATING YOU, obviously, otherwise you are just a lazy little bitch with no purpose.

Try and see this in real time if you can, IT WILL GO ALONG WAY OF CURING YOU OF BEING ‘ONE MORE’ SILLY CUNT, lost in the quid-pro-lifestyle of the office joke, a fate worse than death for something like YOU.

You don’t need to be scary, but you do have to stop being stoooopid – YOU HAVE BEEN BETRAYED YOUR WHOLE LIFE, BUT ITS MAINLY YOU DOING THAT BETRAYING, WHILST TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BLAME…

I understand my NEED FOR FRIENDS TO HELP SOLVE MY PROBLEMS FOR ME makes me gullible and SOME HAVE BETRAYED ME, but I can’t give up on the lifestyle, IT WORKS, I JUST NEED BETTER PEOPLE, so I need to change them out and MOVE ON, WHY, given the level of betrayal I should be CURED?

Yeah, common transitional issue, and one I have little interest in – I’M NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN HOW TO BE A BETTER SEWER RAT, ONLY HOW YOU GET OUT OF YOUR SEWER…

If it helps at all know that beneath the surface all such groups as yours become infested by CONTROLLING PARASITES WHO ADD NO VALUE AT ALL TO THE GROUP, BUT WHO SEEK TO ‘PROFIT FROM IT’. For example your STAR VALUE IN YOUR GROUP would be very HIGH, ALONG WITH 2 OR 3 OTHERS, but you have NO ACTUAL POWER AT ALL, so your Return on Investment is extremely low, as others get that return on your value, NOT YOU. So the truly nasty little folk WHO ARE PREPARED TO DO CONFLICT WIN, and you lose – YOU GET SOLD OUT CHEAP, WHILST OTHERS ARE LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK, but you just get to feel slightly more smug, LIKE A MORON.

You won’t break your addiction to the lifestyle until you replace it with something better, BUT THAT DON’T MEAN ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ESCAPE WHAT CONTROLS YOU – WHAT YOU ARE REALLY SAYING IS I MUST SUPPORT WHAT I CAN’T ESCAPE, even though I don’t want it anymore, I’m trapped in it now, SO THEY DON’T EVEN NEED TO THREATEN YOU, you imagine those threats.

YOUR NEED FOR A SECRET LIFE OF THE SOUL WOULD BE BETTER SPENT OF DEVELOPING YOUR GIFT, which is way more fun that what traps you into NOT DEVELOPING, NOT EVOLVING BY SIMPLY DEVOLVING YOU INSTEAD. SO ALWAYS WATCH OUT FOR THE FOLKS WHO ARE THE MOST VOCAL ABOUT NOT BEING A TRAITOR, as they are either the Traitors or the ones who wanted to be a Traitor but did not have the balls to do it, which is actually worse. Its an Evolutionary sewer, everyone is disloyal by definition – IT IS A MECHANSIM TO FORCE YOU INTO CONFLICT, AND THAT CONFLICT IS WHAT YOU NEED to GET OUT OF THAT SEWER AND DEVELOP YOURSELF INSTEAD.

ITS ALL CONNECTED, it is what you are supposed to learn, so there ain’t no point being sad about it, BUT IN YOUR CASE THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IS SIMPLE – YOUR STUPID, BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO BE STUPID, YET YOU THINK YOU ARE STILL CLEVER, BLISSFULLY UNAWARE THAT PRETENDING TO BE STUPID HAS ACTUALLY MADE YOU STUPID IN REAL LIFE, so all your cons are totally transparent, even to the most repellant little UGLY dork…..

Your entire existience, your sense of your self as CLEVER, is propped up BY a level of SECRET CLEVERNESS THAT NO LONGER EXISTS – you ARE A MUG, obssessed with trying to ‘MUG OFF’ OTHERS, TO MAKE YOU FEEL SLIGHTLY BETTER ABOUT BEING AN EVEN BIGGER MUG, than they are. Its all a bit pathetic really…

In my expereince you will find this level of STUPIDITY SO HORRIFYING that it can take many months if not years before you accept it.SO THE ONLY ADVICE WORTH A DAMN IS GET OVER YOUR OWN SILLY SHITE AND ACCEPT IT NOW, as when it all goes BANG you will forced to accept it in the end anyway, so all you are doing now by fighthing it is make an even bigger TOOL of yourself than you have already done – FOOL ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU, FOOL ME TWICE THEN SHAME ON ‘ME’, is the accepted phrase…

Again, I have no interest – YOU ARE A RAT IN A SEWER, WHAT EXACTLY WHERE YOU EXPECTING – so if you want try and prop up your secret life intsead of letting it implode cause its slightly less scary then crack on – it won’t change its purpose, it won’t stop it getting worse, but some do use it as an effective transistion to get to a safer place before blowing it up entirely. If you choose not to do so then all future discussion is pointless, as you will have FAILED EVOLUTION 101, AGAIN………………... 

I can’t blow it up now, just too exposed, but I take your point, INDEED I THINK I FINALLY GET THE POINT OF IT NOW, cause I can see how I have to change to escape it. If I can escape it, escape the DOGs IN A MANAGER, will you still help, or will you help others who got there FIRST? 

Others are helped when they show up, BUT THAT DOES NOT STOP YOU BEING HELPED LATER. Issue is you think BETRAYAL IS FINAL, but its just part of the journey, your path that you chose – ANY ESCAPE IS BETTER THAN NO ESCAPE. Best be aware that some of the others are already ahead of you and yes, that matters, but thats not what you are asking. 

What you are really asking is this – IS MY PREVIOUS CONDUCT GOING TO BAR ME FROM BEING HELPED, WHEN YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE DONE BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE BETRAYED ME AND TOLD YOU, SO WHEN I SHOW UP IT JUST LOOKS LIKE I’M MORE SCARED OF YOU THEN THE OTHERS?

The answer is simply if a little cold –

IF YOU CAN PROVE YOU HAVE EVOLVED OUT OF YOUR SEWER THEN THEN YOU WILL BE TREATED WELL AND PROTECTED BY ‘US’, UNTIL YOU CAN PROTECT YOURSELF. IF YOU CANNOT PROVE THAT THEN ITS ‘YES’, BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL IN YOUR SEWER, SO HELPING YOU IS POINTLESS – YOU ARE JUST SCARED.

At the start everyone wants to DO both, because you have not understood that the cost of starting the real path for you can only be paid by destroying the old one – YOU MOVE ON FROM THE CULT OF DIONYSUS TO THE CULT OF ORPHEUS, much as you will jump a couple of cults ahead to directly to Mithras, as Orpheus was just a stepping stone for poor, illiterate people to LEARN THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW. And of course we use the modern version of all these cults – THE 4TH WAY, so its secret but we stopped sacrificing virgins years ago.. (joking)…

  

Authors Note – I don’t mean to bore you to death obviously, JUST IN CASE YOU ARE STILL SITTING THERE TITTERING AWAY LIKE A CUNT, safe in the delusion that this ‘will never happen to you’, cause your EVOLUTIONARY IMPERATIVE has not found you – as you don’t have one – and that JUST MEANS YOUR ‘AN ANIMAL’, so you really should not be reading this stuff in the first place. You are CANNON FODDER, a footnote in SOMEONE ELSES STORY, whatever you do don’t matter, so best just get comfy and wait for the BANG, eh, THIS STUFF IS MEANT FOR ‘US’, NOT ‘THEM’, so its great you don’t understand a fucking word of it.

Right now its better FOR EVERYONE ELSE that you don’t BELIEVE ME, hence said exercise in style – THEY SAY THE PEEPING TOMS TOLIET is the way down the end of the corridor on the LEFT, best go sit in it and wait, then wait some more, sure your number will be called eventually little man, just not sure by ‘whom’, so best keep your trousers on, as WHAT HAPPENS WILL BE OUTSIDE OF YOUR LITTLE LIFE EXPEREINCE, so it may sting a bit. 

      

SO TO YOU THE READER,

KNOW THIS VERY SIMPLY – YOU ARE A CHILD SO YOU LIE ALL THE TIME BY DEFINITION – ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT IT IS YOUR PROBLEM, WHICH IS WHY NO ONE HELPS YOU UNTIL YOU LEARN HOW TO HELP YOURSELF. THOSE LIES COME FROM YOU THE CHILD, THOSE LIES DESTROY YOUR LIFE, YOUR ABILITY TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS, YOUR ABILITY TO SEE THE TRUTH, SO YOU ARE A ‘FUCK UP’! And there is nothing cool about being a fuck up, WHO IS FOOLED BY EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME, numb nuts…. 

YOU ARE CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU TRY. 

EVEN WHEN IT IS EXPLAINED TO YOU, YOU WILL STILL BE COMPELLED TO BE A CHILD. 

THAT IS WHY IT IS THE TRAP OF THE ‘HARMLESS FUCK UP’,

AND ITS OBVIOUS, ITS #CRINGE, JUST LIKE YOU,

SO YOU ARE ‘DESPERATE TO FEEL CLEVER‘,

BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU ARE FAKE,

AND IT IS NORMAL NOW.

NOW HOWEVER MUCH YOU CAN RELATE TO THE TEACHING DIALOGUE ABOVE AS A TRAINING EXERCISE, WHATEVER BITS OF THIS EXCHANGE MAKE SENSE TO YOU KNOW IT IS AN ATTEMPT AT REPLACING THE NEED FOR A PERSONAL WAKE UP CALL IF YOU ARE EVER GOING TO GROW THE FUCK UP. BEFORE YOU READ ON, IF YOU WANT TO GET SOME VALUE OUT OF YOUR TIME TODAY, READ THE WHOLE DIALOGUE AGAIN NOW, AND OPEN YOUR FUCKING MIND TO IT – ONLY THE PRESENTATION IS ‘STAGED’, THE CONTENT IS REAL, FROM MULTIPLE DIFFERENT DIALOGUES WITH MULTIPLE TYPES OF GIFT ALL COMPRESSED TOGETHER INTO A SHORTER TIMEFRAME, AS YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FEEL, IF YOU ARE GIFTED…

 

Now, before you read on I’m going to add something specifically for the mid to highly GIFTED, against advice because it should only ever be done personally – I am conscious that the dialogue above may well just have ‘bounced off you’, BECAUSE YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIFIC ISSUE, THAT MAKES YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE – ‘WHATEVER DUDE, I’M JUST HERE TO GET MY FREAK ON, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHY THAT FREAK IS ME, WHERE IT COMES FROM, IT IS ALL I LIVE FOR, SO THANKS FOR THE CHILDHOOD ANALYSIS MATE, ITS CUTE, BUT WHERE IS THE MOTHERFUCKING PARTY?‘ And that is a ‘full stop’ for everything…

So you need to know why YOU WANT TO GO ON BEING THE STAR OF YOUR SHOW long after every other sign tells you to stop AS YOU ARE ‘OBVIOUSLY’ DESTROYING YOURSELF – you actually want to degrade yourself, YOU ARE EVEN HAPPY TO TAKE THE RISK MOMENT TO MOMENT IN THE FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT SOONER OR LATER YOUR SHIT WILL FIND YOU, as your destruction was ‘worth it’. However if you are not the ‘star’ of your freakshow, if you are just a watcher on the wall, a little consumer or parasite, getting off on 2nd hand thrills of control and humiliation STOP READING NOW, THIS BIT IS NOT FOR YOU…  

Now, I have added multiple specific speeches below in this post from a classic example of this kind, and there is another one in the main text of my own experience which will touch on aspects of this in the real world, but before READING that I THINK NOW IS THE TIME TO EXPLAIN THE CLASSIC GIFTED BLOCK TO GROWING UP IN MORE DETAIL, AS IT SEPARATES WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU FROM NORMAL OR LOW LEVEL FOLK, WHO DO NOT HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE – YOU NEED TO KNOW WHY YOU HAVE BUILT YOUR FREAKSHOW INTO A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLE HILL, which in truth is all it is NOW, but you CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THAT FREAKSHOW, AS IT PROPS UP THE BALANCE OF YOUR MINDSTATE, SO ITS PROPS UP YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE.

To explain, as a GIFTED KID YOU WOULD OF BEEN INCREDIBLY SENSITIVE TO BOTH GOOD AND BAD EMOTIONAL REACTIONS AT A GIFTED LEVEL, and therefore all your PATTERNS REACTIONS WOULD HAVE FORMED AROUND PROTECTING YOU FROM THE BAD WHILST ENJOYING SOME FORM OF GOOD AS PLEASURE – IT WAS A VERY DELICATE BALANCING ACT, THAT YOU OFTEN REMEMBER THE TRIAL AND ERROR OF AS A REAL TRIAL AT THE TIME, WITH MANY STRUGGLES, EVEN IF THEY ARE SMALL IN NATURE THEIR IMPACT ON YOU WAS HUGE. SO NOW THIS BALANCING ACT MEANS YOU ARE FAR MORE FRAGILE, WOUND UP LIKE A SPRING ALL THE TIME SO SPEND YOUR LIFE BOUNCING AROUND IN ‘MANIC STATES’ OF ALL KINDS, FROM DREADED OVERTHINKING TO TOTAL OUT OF CONTROL FREAKSHOWS. YOU ARE TOTAL EXHAUSTED AND HAVE NO ENERGY FOR ANYTHING BUT PATTERNS, EVEN FOCUSING ON ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF YOUR NORMAL PATTERNS IS IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT MASSIVE, LIFE CHANGING SHOCKS – YOU HAVE VIRTUALLY NO ENERGY TO CONTROL YOURSELF, EVEN REMEMBERING WHAT JUST HAPPENED IS OFTEN BLACKED OUT.

So the point of this little speech is THIS – ‘BEING STRONGLY GIFTED AS A KID MAKES YOU AN EMPATH’, SO YOU PICK UP ON THE EMOTION OF OTHERS, IN YOUR LOCAL ENVIRONMENT, THE MOOD OF CROWDS, EVEN NASTY PEOPLE VERY, VERY STRONGLY, OFTEN BECOMING ADDICTED TO IT, PARTICULARLY IN THE FESTIVAL FREAKSHOW SENSE OF IT. You feed off it, use it, build a life around it, and THAT BECOMES YOUR PRIMARY EMOTION RESPONSE – TO FIND SITUATIONS WHERE YOU FEEL GOOD AND NOT BAD, TO CHASE IT LIKE A DRUG BECAUSE IT HITS VERY HARD, so you are OVERWHELMED INTO DOING SHIT YOU DON’T WANT BEFORE BUT DO NOW, VERY VERY EASILY – YOUR LIFE IS A CHAOTIC MESS DOMINATED BY WHO IS STANDING NEXT TO YOU AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT = RANDOM CHANCE.

SO YOU BECOME A DELUSIONAL, DESPERATE BASKET CASE, FOREVER CLINGING ONTO SOME FRAGILE FANTASY THAT IS GONE IN A HEARTBEAT AS ITS REPLACED WITH ANOTHER MOOD SWING FOR POWERFUL YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST ONE – SICKNESS AND DEATH AWAIT. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU GROW UP – YOU FIGHT A WAR IN YOUR HEAD THAT DOES NOT EXIST, LIKE A CUNT, AND EVERY BLOW YOU FEEL YOU LAND SIMPLY LANDS ON YOURSELF, AS YOU BECOME EVEN MORE HATED AND MORE DESPERATE, UNTIL YOU BURN, WITH NO WAY BACK, NOTHING BUT YOUR OWN LIFE ON FIRE TO KEEP YOU WARM, YET YOU STILL THINK THAT IS COOL. HELL, IN THE END FOLKS LIKE ME EVEN HELP YOU BURN QUICKER, KINDA PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY AS A KINDNESS, SO WE DON’T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN…

SEE AT A CERTAIN POINT YOU ARE A WRITE OFF, YOU ARE BEYOND HOPE, AND ITS NOT OUT FAULT, ITS YOURS – THE WORLD LAUGHS AT YOU, AS YOU DIE… SERIOUSLY, DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND – THE PRICE FOR ALL THE FUN OF RELIEF FROM YOURSELF, OF NO FUN IS TOTAL, SELF HARMING INSANITY, AND YOU DESERVE IT, DON’T YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO VALUE. SEE WHEN THE BILL COME DUE THAT IS IT, THERE AIN’T NO WHERE TO RUN, YOU PAY IN KIND, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, AND WE ALL GET TO LAUGH AT YOU, AS THAT IS NOW THE POINT OF YOU, YOU ARE A WARNING TO YOUR OWN KIND NOT TO BE YOU, BECAUSE EVEN IN YOUR OWN WORLD RIGHT NOW NOBODY, BUT NOBODY WOULD SWAP PLACES WITH YOU, KINDA OF IRONIC REALLY…..

SEE THE AWFUL TRUTH IS YOU ARE INFECTED BY EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY, AND YOU INFECT EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH WITH YOUR STUPIDITY, AND SELF DESTRUCTION, BUT YOU THINK THIS IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO, INDEED YOU ARE COPING WITH SO MUCH ALL THE TIME THAT THIS IS THE HIGH POINT OF YOUR LIFE, AS YOU GET TO SURVIVE AND JUMP TO THE NEXT DISTRACTION, MANY OF YOU EVEN THINK ITS A KIND OF MAGIC, A SUPER POWER. THE ISSUE IS YOU HAVE NO ABILITY T FOCUS ON ANYTHING, TO SEE IT THROUGH, TO FINISH WHAT YOU START, ITS ALL A LASHED UP JUMBLE OF GETTING AWAY WITH IT, OF JUST SHOWING UP AND PRETENDING WHILST ACTUALLY DOING NOTHING BUT WANDER ABOUT IN A DAZE.

THE CURE? YOU MUST BE SCARED INTO DEVELOPMENT, INTO CHANGE, AND THAT SCARE MUST BE BIG ENOUGH TO BREAK EVERYTHING ELSE THAT SCARES YOU INTO THE NEXT 5 MINS OF YOUR LIFE – THAT FEAR MUST BE REAL AND MUST BE BIGGER THAN ALL YOUR OTHER FEARS. THE ISSUE? NOBODY IS GOING TO DO THAT TO YOU AS A KINDNESS, YOU WILL HAVE TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF – I’M TALKING PERMANENT FEAR, ON YOUR MIND ALL THE TIME, SO IT IS USUALLY ONLY STRONG ENOUGH WITH INCURABLE ILLNESS AND OR PHYSICAL DISABILITY, AS THE MENTAL DISABILITY THAT DRIVES MOST OTHERS WON’T BE ENOUGH, AS YOUR OPINION OF IT WITH FLUCTUATE TOO MUCH, THROUGH THE PROCESSESS OF A CHILD…

To make the point I am will tell you a story as below, an upper middle class lady who did in the end managed to change IN HER MID 40S, BUT ONLY IN THE SENSE OF HAVING SOME QUALITY OF LIFE LEFT. See by then she had not only lost her friends, career, looks, health, relationship, children, it actually took the removal of her left leg below the knee by surgery due to sepsis TO GET HER TO CHANGE AND GROW UP – she needed a permanent and painful disability as that was the only REMINDER STRONG ENOUGH. I have removed these elements from the story of how she changed  and grew up as its too cruel even for me, BUT YOU MUST UNDERSTAND JUST HOW HARD IT IS TOO START IF YOU ARE AN EMPATH, IF EVERYTHING AROUND YOU CAUSES A REACTION EVEN WHEN YOU ARE SIMPLY STANDING STILL WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED. When you see this in yourself, the potential for it, it may help you ‘bring your future into the now’…       

Of course, ‘YOU’ WOULD NEVER GET THAT BAD, would you – YOU WOULD WAKE UP AND SEE SENSE LONG BEFORE THAT HUMILIATION, so you would never need to take drugs everyday just to exist, you would never need to creep around in the shadows living out some obsessional manic fantasy, you would never see the whole point of your life is just to keep everyone happy whilst finding any happiness you can now in ‘servicing your obligations’. That’s not you is it, ‘YOU’RE A BADDIE’, YOU CLEVER, YOU HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT AGAIN, LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO, SO COOL, CLINGING ON BY YOUR FINGERNAILS AS A DESPERATE LITTLE FREAK… 

‘Now’ you say, ‘ what the fuck was the point of that little speech – this is simply to fail so badly to grow up that YOU HAVE TO BE SHOCKED INTO IT, OVER AND OVER AGAIN’. And you are correct, its the ‘classic type’, the standard account of what happens, you see it all the time, watch it from a far, shake your head at the utter stupidity of it. See THERE IS NO VALUE IN THAT STORY AND THE ACCOUNT YOU WILL READ BELOW, UNLESS OF COURSE, YOU UNDERSTAND ‘WHY‘ – YOU UNDERSTAND WHY SOME PEOPLE, OFTEN THE MOST GIFTED OF ALL, AS ALL HIGHLY GIFTED ARE EMPATHS’S TO A GREAT OR LESSER DEGREE, DECIDE ONLY TO CHOOSE TO GROW UP WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER CHOICE FOR EVERY FUCKING MOMENT THAT REMAINS OF THEIR LIFE, and even then many of then choose to fade away and die instead. See to be GROWN UP BY YOUR OWN IMMINENT DEATH IS ALL SOME FOLKS CAN EVER DO…

So what follows in these next couple of paras is what you should keep in mind when you read her story, of the ONES WHO ALWAYS ASK ‘WHERES THE FUCKING PARTY’, who always giggle at the back, who always look for the door, always slink away to something WAY MORE FUN, always tip the wink at the stranger in order to manipulate them into being nice to them instead of having class to warrant that in themselves, as THEIR NO1 CHOICE OF ‘EGOIC DEFENSE MECHANSIM’.

See this is not just a ‘cautionary tale’, see  I know as an EMPATH WHO ‘EMPHASIZES’ EVERY FEELING, SENSATION IN THEIR MIND BEYOND ALL HOPE OF CONTROLLING IT IN A ‘RAPID SUCCESSION OF NOWS’ YOU WILL FORGET EVERYTHING IN THE NEXT MOMENT, AS SOON AS YOU STOP READING, AND GO RIGHT BACK TO ‘WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU’. SEE THAT PERMANENT FEAR OF REAL LIFE THAT LADY NEEDED TO GROW UP WAS ACTUALLY CAUSED BY SOMETHING SHE DID, A CHOICE SHE MADE A LONG TIME AGO, ONE SHE COULD NOT BACK OUT OF, BECAUSE that choice was to ‘CHOOSE TO FORGET HERSELF’ IN ORDER TO REMOVE THE CONSTANT PAIN OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR HERSELF – SHE CONSCIOUSLY DECIDED TO BE ‘DUMB’, TO HAVE AN EMPTY HEAD, EVEN WHEN QUITE OFTEN THIS TYPES MAKES UP SOME OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT, QUICK, CLEVER FOLK, JUST IN THAT CREATIVE SENSE. See it feels better to forget when you have NO CONTROL OVER YOURSELF, AS IT IS WAY EASIER THAN TO FIGHT IT…

So this is the bit that is AGAINST ADVICE TO READ, this is the bit that is both hard and dangerous for you and should only really be said in private, gently over a long period of time, with many stops and starts until you get used to it little by little, so the HORROR OF IT DOES NOT OVERWHELM YOU AT SUCH A LEVEL THAT EVEN CONSIDERING IT TO BE TRUE FOR A MOMENT CAUSES NOTHING SHORT OF TOTAL, MANIC RAGE AT THE SHAME OF YOURSELF, OF WHAT YOU DID TO YOURSELF OFTEN PROJECTED ONTO TO ME OR OTHERS YOU BLAME FOR THIS PAIN, which that lady below could never face, because very sadly SHE WAS NOT CLEVER ENOUGH IN THE FIRST PLACE. See if she was clever as a kid, if she could remember that LEVEL OF INSIGHT INTO LIFE SHE ONCE HAD, she could of grown herself up, and AVOID THE LIFE DESTROYING SHOCKS OF A LOST SOUL – ALL SHE EVER HAD WAS ‘FEAR’ TO CONTROL HER, AND THAT MAYBE YOU TOO, BUT MAYBE NOT, MAYBE YOU WERE ONCE A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU ARE NOW, eh…

SO LETS BE SUPER DUPA CLEAR – WHY THE FUCK AM I GOING TO TELL YOUR SOMETHING SPECIAL AGAINST EVERYONES BETTER JUDGEMENT? SIMPLE – ALL EMPATHS ARE SHIT AT DIALOGUES AND SO FAIL THEM VERY, VERY QUICKLY! Even if you sit with them for hours to give them confidence to talk they will just stare off into space BECAUSE AN EMPATH IS DOMINATED BY THE NEED FOR EGO SAFTEY, AS THEIR EGO WAS PRIMARILY CONSTRUCTED IN CHILDHOOD TO PROTECT THEM FROM THEMSELVES – THEY ARE SO TERRIFIED OF CAUSING THEMSELVES EMOTIONAL HARM THEY ACTUALLY NEED TO BE SCARED INTO DOING ANYTHING, TO BE FORCED, SO IN ORDER TO AVOID THAT ‘FEAR OF FEAR ITSELF’ THEY REACT UNCONSCIOUSLY AND JUMP INTO ACTION NO MATTER HOW SHIT IT IS, AND THAT MAKES THEM HAPPY – THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO DO WHAT THEY ARE TOLD, IT MAKES THEM HAPPY, AS IT ‘FEELS SAFE’. See as per the process above normal gifted all really want to talk about themselves cause they know they are different and WANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT, but an EMPATH, PARTICUALRY AT A ‘LOST SOUL LEVEL’, would rather die than say their shit out loud – THEY ARE GUTLESS, SO WE MUST FIND AWAY ROUND THAT GUTLESSNESS BY USING WHAT THEY HAVE INSTEAD, THEY ARE USUALLY INCREDIBLY ‘QUICK WITTED’… 

IF YOU WANT TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, TO FIX YOURSELF IN THE SENSE OF AN EMPATH YOU HAVE TO FUCKING TALK! And it is the POTENTIAL FOR ACTUAL CLEVERNESS THAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE – THE ‘QUICKNESS OF YOUR WIT’ – often betrayed to folks like me as how much and how well you use humour as defense mechansim, as that SPEED OF THOUGHT can SAVE YOU FROM YOURSELF. LEFT TO YOUR OWN DEVICES THIS SPEED IS OFTEN PERVERTED BY YOU THE CHILD INTO ‘CIRCULAR OVERTHINKING’, but once you get OVER THE HORROR OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS AS YOUR GO TO CHARACTER OF A CHILD, SO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF INSTEAD then EVERYTHING CHANGES. See your mind state will be VERY FRAGILE, needing huge amounts of ‘behavioural compensations’ to keep it even remotely balanced, SO YOU WILL FIND PICKING AT THAT HOUSE OF CARDS TO BE VERY DIFFICULT, PAINFUL, even terrifying because you are NOW SCARED OF FEAR ITSELF – JUST THE THOUGHT OF POTENTIAL FEAR CRIPPLES YOU, SO YOU DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO AVOID IT.

Now there is no ADDITIONAL trick to DEVELOPING YOURSELF FOR AN EMPATH, BUT YOU DO NEED FAR MORE HELP TO START TO ESCAPE THIS LITTLE PRISON you have built for yourself MUCH MORE than normal, plus in person I would tell you what to focus on based on your remaining energy state – YOU CAN ONLY DO CONSISTENTLY WHAT YOU HAVE THE AVAILABLE ENERGY FOR, so for this exhausted type most of the start ends up being energy stuff, RAPID AND OFTEN QUITE FORCED METHODS TO RECOVER YOUR ENERGY. The ACTUAL TRICK is to understand why you can’t DO, EVEN SEE THESE METHODS CORRECTLY AS YOU ARE NOW, BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YOURSELF, YOU HAVE GIVEN UP EVEN TRYING AND JUST DRIFT ALONG IN THE CURRENT OF YOUR LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF IN ANOTHER POINTLESS DAYDREAM OF YOU BEING ‘BETTER THAN’. EMPATHS CAN’T START DEVELOPMENT FOR REAL, BUT USUALLY BECAOME OBSESSED WITH THE FANTASY OF IT BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY ARE ALREADY MENTALLY ILL – TO CREATe THEIR OWN VERSION OF IT THAT FITS IN WITH THEIR DESPERATE NEED FOR EGO SAFETY, ALL ALONE, AND SO USUALLY MAKE A TOTAL MESS OF THAT, AS THEY WON’T SPEAK TO ANYONE OR DO ANYTHING WHO DOES NOT SCARE THEM ON PURPOSE!

So you must BRACE YOURSELF, and read the brief summary that follows until YOU DO ‘UNDERSTAND YOURSELF’, AS IT WILL ‘BURST THE BUBBLE’ OF FANTASY YOU LIVE IN, squeeze the pimple so it pops, in a very similar way to the example in the staged dialogue above. See I’m a BAD MAN, BECAUSE I REALIZED AS A KID THAT ALL FAKE KINDNESS, NICENESS IS A FORM OF COWARDICE, and that cowardice often has very real consequences in this world, because NOTHING CHANGES UNLESS YOU ARE ‘PREPARED TO DO WHAT IS REQUIRED’. Indeed the lady below went to her grave isolated, broke and alone which she actually, ever so quietly and politely, BLAMED ME FOR NOT BE PREPARED TO DO THE INTERVENTION SHE SO DESPERATELY NEEDED, because she knew I was capable of doing it. Then, she would say, however too late it was for her 2nd chance at life, at least her kids would come to her funeral, instead of get high later than night, break in to the churchyard and smash her gravestone with hammers as their final goodbye to the lazy, stupid, evil cunt who ruined their lives before they had even started.

So, particularly for several folks I know who read this, KNOW – NOBODY IS COMING ‘TO SAVE YOU AGAINST YOUR WILL’, the intervention you crave and dream about in your few remaining lucid moments is already gone. YOU MUST FACE THIS TRUTH FIRST, YOU MUST KNOW THAT THE FIRST BIT OF ALL THIS IS ON YOU, NOT US, NOT ME, NOT THEM – YOU HAVE TO GROW THE BALLS TO DO IT, IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF – THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU THE CHILD, ITS FATE IS SEALED, ALREADY DECIDED BY PATTERNS OF CAUSE AND EFFECT THAT YOU CANNOT ESCAPE, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SEE THEM WORK. So you must be prepared to fight , and I mean actually WANT TO FIGHT BECAUSE YOU REALIZE YOU HAVE BEEN CONNED INTO THIS STATE OF NOTHINGNESS. 

SEE HOWEVER MUCH YOU MAY ACTUALLY BE SOME FAIRY PRINCESS STUCK UNDER THE WICKED SPELL OF SOME EVIL ‘QUEEN OF THE NIGHT’ (Sorry, Mozart), and so believe you are simply different, a freak while all the time being vaguely aware that something is wrong, missing, hidden from you, and SO JUST CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE LIKE THIS, you must FIRST REMEMBER YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU DID THIS SHIT TO YOURSELF, FAR WAY AND ALONG AGO. In reality you can turn the light on and wake up anytime you wish, SHOULD YOU UNDERSTAND HOW TO TRY… And yes, that is what those nursey rhymes and fairy tales are actually trying to tell you – THIS IS EVOLUTION BABY, ITS ‘RED IN TOOTH AND CLAW’, so know YOU MUST WANT TO TRY BEFORE ANYONE WILL HELP YOU TRY, YOU MUST SHOW SOME FIGHT, EVEN IF YOU LOSE ALL THE TIME AT THE START, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THOSE WINS BY LOSING, THAT IS WHY THE BAD BASTARDS OF THIS WORLD SMILE WHEN WE FAILED LAST TIME! 

So here now are 2 very brief, SANITIZED concepts for you to understand, ALL SAFER AND SOUNDER THAN I WOULD BOTHER BEING IF YOU WERE SITTING IN FRONT OF ME, for those amongst you who are still QUICK ENOUGH TO ‘SEE IT’, COVERING BOTH TOPICS THAT AN EMPATH LIKE YOU NEEDS TO GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD AROUND, HOPEFULLY BEFORE YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU IMINENT DEATH TO WAKE YOU UP, WHEN THERE IS NO LONGER ANY POINT TO IT:

You must SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO YOURSELF – WHAT ‘CHOOSING TO FORGET YOURSELF’ MEANS. All Spirituality is BASED ON THE CONCEPT OF REMEMBERING ‘YOUR SELF’ IN REALTIME, ALL YOU HAVE DONE (NOT THOUGHT) IN THE SAME MOMENT – PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE, AND THE F/E OF THAT IS GROWING UP – TO REMEMBER ‘YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES IN THIS WORLD TODAY’, WHICH AT A STARTER LEVEL IS ‘REMEMBER YOUR REPUTATION’ YOU ‘THINK YOU HAVE’ IN THIS WORLD AT THE SAME TIME AS TRYING TO PERFECT IT – TO SEE YOUR SELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU, RATHER THAN THE POINTLESS SHIT IN YOUR HEAD.

THAT AWARENESS OF YOUR REPUTATION IS THE SPACE FOR YOUR SELF CONSCIOUSNESS TO GROW OUTSIDE OF YOU THE KID, TO BE EXTERNAL TO YOURSELF, AND I MEAN TO ACTUALLY MOVE YOUR CONSCIOUS AWARENESS OUTSIDE OF YOUR MEAT. THIS APPROACH IS PERFECT FOR THE EMPATH BECAUSE IT ALLOWS THEM TO COMBINE IT WITH THE 2ND MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT ALL EMPATHS HAVE FORCED ON THEM IN CHILDHOOD – ‘PURPOSE’. But before you read that, know that THE PROCESS OF FORGETTING YOURSELF, OF FORGETTING WHAT YOU ONCE WHERE IS THE GOAL OF THE ANCIENT ROMAN ‘PROCESS OF SEASONING SLAVES’, TO TAKE WILD, FREE FOLK AND TURN THEM BEINGS WHOS WHOLE CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS WAS BASED ON SIMPLY FULFILLING THEIR OBLIGATIONS OUT OF FEAR. And it worked, BECAUSE THEIR PAST, THEIR POINT, THEIR DREAMS, THEIR POWER DISAPPEARED FROM THEIR MIND, and they literally became ‘happy with just this’, BECAUSE IT ONLY ‘FEELS SAFE’ TO DO WHAT THEY ARE TOLD – TO FORGET YOURSELF IS TO BE TOTALLY CONTROLLED BY REACTIONS TO FEAR, YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT IT.

Now You must UNDERSTAND THAT AS AN EMPATH YOUR LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO REVOLVE AROUND ‘A PURPOSE’, THE CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION THAT IN YOUR TYPE IS EVEN STRONGER THAN SHAME. See SADLY your hedonism is currently your ‘PURPOSE’ OF ‘NO PURPOSE’, which sadly for you is STILL AN ACTUAL PURPOSE, SO FUFILS THAT NEED IN YOURSELF, along with the multiple fads, causes, fashions and hobbies you routinely switch back and forth into and out of on a daily fucking basis whilst barely remembering them tomorrow. THIS IS WHY YOU ARE SO ATTACHED TO YOUR HEDONISM, WHY YOU TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY, WHY YOU NEED THE FEELING OF IT TO PROVE TO YOURSELF THAT YOUR PURPOSE IS ‘A BADDIE’, WHICH IS THE IDENTITY YOU GET FROM YOUR HEDONISM YOU JUDGE AS ‘COOL’ = A ‘HIGHER QUALITY’ THAN SOME OTHERS.

So you need to understand THAT UNTIL YOUR SPIRITUAL PURPOSE ‘FINDS YOU’, YOUR PURPOSE RIGHT NOW IS ‘TO PERFECT YOURSELF IN ORDER TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE’ – YOU MUST ‘PREPARE’ – and however much your hedonism has been useful to teach you some shit, IT IS NOT YOUR FUCKING PURPOSE IN LIFE TO DESTROY YOUR ABILITY TO FIND YOUR ACTUAL PURPOSE, NUMB NUTS! This simple trick is the key for so many of you, to simply step back from your fake mania for a moment and realize, that THIS CHEAP SHIT IS NOT THE POINT OF ME, I’M ‘BETTER THAN’ THIS ‘NOW’, BECAUSE I REMEMBER WHAT I ONCE WAS, LONG AGO, FAR AWAY, before I lost control AND BECAME THIS ‘FAILED CUNT’.

But here is the KEY PART THAT IS OH SO DANGEROUS AND CANNOT BE EXPLAINED 2ND HAND, so I’m just going to tell you the OUTLINE, and even that is too much – AN EMPATH ALWAYS FEELS THAT LOVE, OR ITS CLOSE COUSIN AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL HATE, IS ‘THE ANSWER’, way more so than even normal gifted BECAUSE AN EMPATH HAS ACCESS TO ACTUAL LOVE AND ACTUAL REVULSION AT A CONSCIENCE LEVEL – VERY VERY POWERFUL EMOTIONS THAT ARE FORCED ON YOU.

So an EMPATH KNOWS THAT THESE EMOTIONS ARE ‘SOLVENTS FOR FEAR’, SO GIVE A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF RELIEF FROM FEAR WHEN POURED ON YOUR FEAR OFTEN AND IN EVER INCREASING AMOUNTS. Sadly they are not ‘THE CURE FOR FEAR’ SO YOUR FEAR ALWAYS COMES BACK – THE ONLY CURE FOR INFERIORITY, WHAT FEAR ACTUALLY COMES FROM, IS SUPERIORITY, AND THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO KILL YOUR FEAR. But far worse than that, and in truth the only WAY FORWARD FOR AN EMPATH HAS TO COME THROUGH THIS, IS THE SWITCH FROM LOVE TO SUPERIORITY WITHOUT GIVING INTO THE TENDENCY TO SELF HARM, AS ‘THE LOVE THEY PRODUCE BY CHASING LOVE IS SIMPLY AFFECTION, A BIOLOGICAL SENSATION, AND WORKS ONLY AS ‘AN ECHO OF LOVE’, A CHEAP, SHORT TERM DRUG, so is an incredibly dangerous thing to CHASE, UNLESS YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. And trust me, YOU DON’T.

SO YOU MUST WORK OUT FOR YOURSELF HOW YOU MOVE FROM AFFECTION, INDEED FROM WHAT BECOMES EMPTY ‘AFFECTATION’  AFTER THE HIGH POINT OF YOUR LATE TEENS/EARLY TWENTIES, TO THE ACTUAL REMOVAL OF FEAR VIA ELITISM, WHILST USING YOUR FEAR AS A SPUR, WHICH WILL HAVE BECOME FAR WORSE, FAR DEEPER THROUGH THE MISS USE OF FORCED AFFECTATION, TO ‘FORCE YOURSELF TO MAKE THAT SWITCH’. THEN YOU CAN STOP THE INEVITABLE DESTRUCTION OF YOURSELF THAT CHASING THE ‘MOMENTARY MECHANSIM OF CHEMICAL ATTRACTION OR HATRED’ MAKES CERTAIN. When you know how, it is obvious because it feels correct for you, LIKE A SNAPPING INTO PLACE, BECAUSE IT IS CORRECT FOR YOUR SPIRIT, but before that it is VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND IN YOURSELF. All else I will say is this – YOU HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT – but there are only really 3 ways to do it, and 1 that does not kill you will make you stronger – CHOOSE WISELY BUT FIND THE SAND TO ACTUALLY CHOOSE, CAUSE THE CORRECT ANSWER FOR YOU IS OUT THERE…    

Know for certain, if you, as an Empath, ever meet anybody who has done this YOU WILL FEEL IT VERY STRONGLY in a way that never goes away whatever you try, particualry if they are a match for your type of gift, indeed such a meeting may well have been your trigger to take the unschooled path of an Empath in the first place. So which will it be, what will you try first – TO LEARN TO LOVE THE PERSONAL SUPERIORITY IN YOURSELF WHIST BEING SCARED OF ALL THINGS INFERIOR IN THE WORLD THAT INFECT YOU, easily the safest of the 3 and the one that all ‘hedonistic performers’ jump at, as they already sort of do it, just externally instead of internally? Or should you be burdened with a lot of anger then YOU COULD TRY HATING THE INFERIORITY IN YOURSELF WHILST USING FEAR TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO BE BETTER THAN THAT BY CHANGING YOUR LIFE? Of will you go for the gold standard right out of the box, the one that all dedicated 4th wayers become over time, to LOVE YOUR SUPERIORITY WHILST HATING THE INFERIORTY IN ALL THAT SURROUNDS YOU, ALL YOUR PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE WHILST USING THE FEAR OF YOURSELF TO NEVER LOOK BACK, and DO LITTLE ELSE BUT DEVELOP YOURSELF, LIKE AN ADDICTION?

Yes there are many variants of these, but know all IS basically 1 of these 3 – THE TRICK IS KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU TO LEAD WITH, AS YOU ARE ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH IT, AND ONLY THEN DECIDE WHAT TO USE YOUR FEAR ON TO STOP IT. BUT ‘WHY DO YOU USE THE FEAR I AM TRYING TO GET RID OF’ YOU ASK, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, YOU MUST DEVELOP A STRONG ENOUGH FEAR OF NOT TRYING TO OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF TRYING, YOU ARE STUCK WITH FEAR WHEN YOU START, OBVIOUSLY, SO YOU MUST DEAL WITH IT, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. Just take care choosing and using these methods, however you work them out for yourself – HATE is much more reliable than LOVE, but it is much more dangerous as many of you have already found to your cost – I CERTAINLY DID MANY YEARS AGO. See many of you sitting and reading this may still be QUICK ENOUGH to understand these patterns already form part of your life, given you are ‘that gifted’, indeed your hedonism has acted as a kind of ‘higher emotional training gym’, just externally instead of internally, SO KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!

Yes, I have left a lot out that is too much for you to read without support, without the ability to clarify AS ITS REALLY FUCKING SCARY, and yes there are some bits of this stuff that mean you ARE VERY, VERY SPECIAL, AND CONSEQEUNTLY EVEN THOUGH YOU ACT LIKE A TOTAL FLAKELY, FRUIT LOOP THAT RECOGNITION OF SPECIAL, CONSCIOUS OR UNCONSCIOUSLY BY SOME OTHERS IS WHY THEY CHOOSE TO TREAT YOU WAY BETTER THAN YOU ‘ACT OUT’. Just try and keep all this in your mind when you read the testament of the lady below, who needed THE MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS, the promise of certain death in just a few short months to FIND THE MOTIVATION TO TRY, much as she presented it to herself differently, THAT PROMISE WAS THE ONLY REASON SHE COULD ACTUALLY DO IT ON A LIFE OR DEATH LEVEL.

Now, some of you, THE HARDCORE, THE ONES WHO GAVE UP RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEMSELVES AFTER YEARS OF ‘GETTING AWAY WITH IT’, will simply chuckle at this point and say ‘yeah… why is this so bad then eh? I choose ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’, and I live for IT, I KNOW ‘THE RISKS’, I KNOW ‘THE SOCIAL STIGMA’, YET ALL THE DISEASES CAN ‘BE TREATED’, SO TO ME I’M GOING TO GO ON GOING ON UNTIL ONE DAY ITS OVER, and frankly mate, I DON’T REALLY SEE IT AS THAT BAD – I’M A BADDIE, SO FUCK YOU, YOU ‘DO GOODER’, TAKE YOUR SPIRITUAL WOO WOO CRAP AND BLOW IT OUT OF YOUR ASS – I’M COOL, WHAT YOU HAVE IS LIFES 2ND PRIZE, YOU ARE DEAD INSIDE BUT I AM ALIVE, I WIN EVERY DAMN DAY, BUT YOU LOSE – I AM BETTER THAN YOU’. And I say, ‘Really bitch..?’…

So here it is – YOU THINK YOU HAVE CHOSEN LOVE IS THE ANSWER AS A WAY OF LIFE, but YOU HAVE NOT. What you have chosen is the way of LOVE AND HATE, because they are the same thing as an animal, so as time passes you will come to HATE WHAT YOU DON’T LOVE, OR THINK DOES NOT LOVE YOU, AND THAT IS WHEN THIS SHIT GETS DANGEROUS. See in time it is YOUR HATE THAT WILL DRIVE YOUR LOVE, YOUR NEED FOR ‘THAT FEELING’, much as that WILL FEEL TO YOU LIKE YOUR OBSSESSIONAL LOVE WILL DRIVE YOUR HATE, so you will become very, very CONTROLLING, INDEED YOUR PLEASURE, YOUR COMFORT WILL START TO COME FROM CONTROL, FROM FAKE POWER OVER OTHERS, and that is when you YOU BECOME THE LADY IN THE DIALOGUE BELOW.  

SEE YOU HAVE NOT CHOSEN ‘AMBIGUOUS LOVE’ AS YOUR LIFE PATH OF AN EMPATH, YOU HAVE CHOSEN THIS:

THE WAY OF THE PARASITE.

YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE ADDICTION OF ‘FEEDING OFF OTHERS’ AS YOUR FREAKSHOW, YOUR MANIA.

YOU HAVE CHOSEN CONTROL, YOU HAVE CHOSEN ‘THE RELIEF’ OF POWER OVER OTHERS, A FAKE ‘ANIMAL POWER’.

SO YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE PATH OF ‘THE MONSTER’, THE NARCISSIST, THE UNCONSCIOUSLY ‘CAREFREE’, SO ‘CARELESS EVIL’.

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ANSWER BECOMES – THE MANIC OBSESSIONS OF ‘THE TORTURED’, DESPERATE FOR SCRAPS OF RELIEF.

SEE IT DOES NOT MATTER THAN YOU ‘KEEP IT SECRET’ SO ITS NOT PUBLIC YOU, AND YOU CAN ‘FORGET YOURSELF’ – YOU ARE ‘WHAT YOU DO’.

SEE THE WAY OF THE PARASITE IS A ‘FUNNEL’, AND NO MATTER WHERE YOU START AS AN EMPATH, HOWEVER GOOD, KIND, GENTLE, AND HARMLESS YOU START OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE ON THE SPECTRUM OF MENTAL ILLNESS, YOU END UP AS A DESPERATE, CRAVEN MONSTER WHO HAS TO LIE CONSTANTLY TO COVER UP THIS TRUTH, BECAUSE YOU NO LONGER BOTHER WITH AFFECTION – YOU JUST WANT TO TORTURE FOLKS SO YOU CAN FEEL THE POWER OF THIER PAIN, CAUSE NOTHING ELSE WILL WORK AT THE END, AND YOU WILL CREATE ‘A WHOLE FANTASY WORLD’ OF DOING JUST THAT. 

AND WHAT THAT MEANS, TO EVERYONE AND ANYBODY WHO MEETS YOU IS THIS, AS ITS OBVIOUS TO ALL:-

YOU ARE CREEPY, CAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU MAKE OTHERS FEEL.

SEE THE ‘NEED TO FEED’ MAKES YOU ‘REVOLTING’.

YES, YOU MAKE OUR ‘SKIN CRAWL’.

AND YOU CAN’T HIDE THAT BY LYING ABOUT IT, SORRY – SO YOU HAVE TO ‘FORGET IT’ INSTEAD,  AS ONCE YOU ARE A CREEPY PARASITE EVEN THE OTHER ANIMALS WILL SEE IT INSTINCTIVELY, AS IT IS ‘WRITTEN ALL OVER YOUR FACE’, THERE IS NO ESCAPE…

BUT THE POINT OF BEING THIS HARD ON YOU IS SIMPLY THIS – ITS A ‘TEST’ – SO CAN YOU STILL PASS IT?

SEE GETTING AWAY WITH IT ‘NORMALIZES IT’, INDEED YOU WILL GET MUCH WORSE UNTIL ONE DAY YOU DON’T GET AWAY WITH IT. SO THE QUESTION IS CAN YOU STILL SEE YOURSELF OR HAVE YOU ‘FORGOTTEN YOURSELF’ COMPLETELY, BECAUSE THEN NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU – THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO HELP BECAUSE YOU CAN’T SEE YOURSELF ANYMORE…

WANT ME TO HELP YOU ‘SEE IT’? SEE ITS ALL ABOUT ‘YOUR MANIA’, IN THE END – YOU BECOME ‘POSSESSED’ BY IT…

ALL PARASITES EVENTUALLY BECOME UNCONSCIOUSLY MONSTROUS, NO MATTER HOWEVER SMALL, CHILDISH, WEAK, CRAVEN AND PETTY, NO MATTER HOW SCARED AND PATHETIC, THEY START TO BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT THAT TOMORROW THEY WILL ‘TAKE OVER THE WORLD’, BECAUSE THEY ARE ‘SO CLEVER TO GET AWAY WITH IT’.

OF COURSE, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD TOMORROW, BECAUSE YOU DID NOT GET AWAY WITH IT AND YOU ARE NOT AN EVIL GENIUS, YOU ARE A DELUSIONAL CUNT, JUST LIKE THE LADY IN THE STORY BELOW.

SO DO YOU ‘SEE IT’ YET- CAN YOU STILL LOOK IN THE MIRROR WITHOUT SNIGGERING LIKE SOME GUTLESS TWAT? YES? SO DO YOU SEE WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU ‘NO LONGER SEE IT’, WHEN YOU CAN’T REMEMBER IT?

SEE AT A CERTAIN POINT, YOU THE CHILD WILL NO LONGER LET YOU SEE IT, SO YOU THINK ALL OF ‘THIS IS JUSTIFIED’ IN INCREASINGLY BIZZARE AND TWSITED WAYS, OFTEN THAT HAVE ONLY OCCURED IN YOUR HEAD, AND THEN YOU ARE GONE – THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FOR FOLKS LIKE ME TO TALK TO, CONSCIOUSLY YOU HAVE DISAPPEARED – NOW YOU ARE ‘JUST YOUR MANIA’.

YES ITS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND THIS STAGE BEFORE YOU GET TO IT, BUT ITS VERY REAL AND VERY PERMANENT, BUT IN ALL TRUTH, THERE IS ACTUALLY NO POINT IN EVEN KNOWING THE DETAIL – ITS ALREADY OVER – YOU ARE SIMPLY WAITING FOR YOUR SOCIETY TO COME AND PUT YOU DOWN, AS EVERYONE AROUND YOU TURNS AGAINST YOU – YOU ARE POISON…

SO THE ONLY POINT IS KNOWING ITS THERE, WHILST LOOKING FOR THE STAGE JUST BEFORE THAT ONE IN YOURSELF, WHEN YOU START TO BELIEVE YOU HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT, SO YOU ARE SO ‘SECRETLY CLEVER’, AND THAT MEANS ‘YOU ARE POWERFUL’, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE CLEARLY VERY FAR FROM THAT, INDEED YOUR OBVIOUS DELUSIONS MAKE YOU ‘A JOKE’.

WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS IS THAT YOU HAVE STARTED TO LIVE IN THE FANTASY WORLD OF A GUTLESS LOWER MIDDLE CLASS, DRUG ADDICTED TWAT, WHO IS ALREADY FAILING AT EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH – YOUR MANIA IS WAITING QUIETLY IN THE WINGS FOR YOU, UNLESS OF COURSE SOMEONE COMES ALONG AND STOPS YOU, CAUSE YOU CAN’T STOP YOURSELF…

SEE THIS 2ND TO LAST STAGE IS AN ‘ACT NOW’ LEVEL ALERT, THERE IS ONLY ONE STAGE LEFT – ‘THE END STAGE’. 

IN THE SPIRITUAL WORLD THEY SAY YOU HAVE BECOME DESPERATE, BECAUSE YOU CAN NO LONGER COPE WITHOUT THIS FAKE POWER – YOUR ANXIETIES, YOUR INADEQUACIES, YOUR INFERIORITY IS A CONSTANT PULSING PAIN INSIDE YOU, SO YOU HAVE TO RELIEVE IT. So know very clearly now – IF YOU ARE AN EMPATH YOU HAVE TO DEVELOP YOURSELF OR BURN, THERE IS NO STABILITY IN A LIFE OF RANDOM CHAOS YOU CAN’T CONTROL NO MATTER HOW DESPERATELY YOU TRY AND TRY, THERE IS NO HAPPINESS, NO FUTURE, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ‘FEEDING OFF PEOPLE’, SO GETS VERY DARK, VERY COMPULSIVE, VERY QUICKLY, AND ONE DAY IT WILL END, BADLY, as you are about to read.  

Now, this dialogue IS ACTUALLY VERY DARK, SHE WAS VERY DARK, DID HORRIBLE, UNFORGIVABLE, EVEN EVIL THINGS TO HER OWN FAMILY AND FRIENDS, DARKER THAN I HAVE WRITTEN IT, BUT I HAVE CHOSEN TO SPARE YOU THAT AS WELL, IN ORDER TO KEEP YOU A LITTLE BIT SAFER TODAY. See EMPATHS MAKE POOR DECISIONS BECAUSE THEY FEEL FORCED TO IN THE MOMENT OUT OF COMPULSIVE URGES THAT THEN BECOME MANIPULATED BY OTHERS AND REPEATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WHICH THEY THEN CHASE WITH MORE OF THE SAME SHIT TO TRY AND MAKE THEM RIGHT, SO THEY CAN GET VERY EXTREME, VERY QUICKLY and LITERALLY SLEEP WALK INTO BECOMING EVERYTHING THEY ONCE HATED – ‘THE IMPULSIVE, UNCONSCIOUS EVIL’ even.

NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE FACT THAT FOLKS LIKE ME KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU BECAUSE IT IS VERY FORMULAIC, VERY WELL TRODDEN, WITH MANY SET STAGES THAT INCLUDE OPPORTUNITTIES TO SAVE YOURSELF SENT BY YOUR GIFT, WHICH IS WHAT ‘YOUR NEED FOR PURPOSE’ ACTUALLY IS! But you must see that at the time, it is no use me telling you…

To put it another way, TO SANITIZE IT FOR YOU as most of you never believe what will happen to you years from now unless you have already lost control – imagine for a moment before you act that this is already your 2nd time around your life, and everything is playing out via your childhood patterns EXACTLY AS THE 1ST TIME, BECAUSE YOU MADE SUCH A COMPLETE, TASTELESS LITTLE BOLLOCKS OF IT YOU HAVE BEEN FORCED TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, WITH EXACTLY THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCE AND PEOPLE UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT, AND TRY HARDER INSTEAD OF WIMPING OUT THE EASY WAY ON EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DECISION!

See that WAY you already know what everybody else does around you – YOU ARE FUCK UP, SO YOU ARE ABOUT TO MAKE A MESS OF THIS AGAIN WHICH IS WHAT YOUR SELF CONSCIOUS EMBARASSMENT IS FOR, SO EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO VIA YOUR COMPULSIVE PATTERNS IS A LOAD OF LOW QUALITY B/S THAT EVEN YOU DON’T WANT THE RESULTS OFF, SO THEN YOU CAN START TO THINK, ‘HEY I IMPULSIVELY REALLY WANT TO DO THIS NEXT STUPID BIT OF SHIT UNCONSCIOUSLY, BUT I KNOW THAT KNEE JERK COMPULSION WILL PASS IN A MOMENT, SO I ALREADY KNOW THAT IS UNLIKELY TO BE A GOOD IDEA’. AND GIVEN I DON’T PARTICUALRY WANT TO LIVE THROUGH MY ENTIRE LITTLE CLASSLESS LIFE OF FAILURE OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR ETERNITY, I MIGHT WANT TO TRY HARDER, BE BRAVER, THINK CLEARLY ABOUT MY REPUTATION WHICH AN ANIMAL LEVEL IS MY FATE…

Just TRY and remember, if you are a STRONG EMPATH, but even if you are not:

YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF SUPPRESSING YOUR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS, AS MANY OF THEM DON’T COME FROM YOU, SO FEEL OVERWHELMING – YOU END UP JUST ACCEPTING THIS AS THE WAY YOU ARE, AND FORGETTING YOURSELF IN ORDER TO COPE INSTEAD… 

SO THE WAY ‘YOU’ HAVE TO START IS ‘BECOME BIGGER THAN YOUR REACTIONS‘ VIA CONSCIOUS ORDERS, SO THEY EFFECT YOUR MIND LESS, AND YOU CAN LAUGH AT THEM MORE – YOU START TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME, IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL BE ‘SHIT OUTA LUCK’.

THE TRICK IS NOT JUST TO UNDERSTAND THESE ANIMAL EMOTIONS FAST, WHICH MEANS ‘SEE THEM AS NOT YOU’ IN REAL TIME, AS THEY HAPPEN, THE TRICK IS AVOID BEING DISTRACTED BY THEIR URGENCY, AND TAKING A MOMENT TO JUDGE THEM AGAINST YOUR PURPOSE – TO GROW UP.

HOWEVER GOOD YOU BECOME AT THIS, HOWEVER FAST OR SLOW, HOWEVER MUCH YOU FAIL AT THE START, KNOW THE METHOD ITSELF WILL IMPROVE YOU – YOU MUST TRY FIRST, FAIL FIRST, THEN TRY AGAIN WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS WAY HARDER THAN YOU THOUGHT.

SEE TO USE THE METHOD, TO USE YOUR QUICKNESS OF WIT TO ‘SEE WHAT IS COME OVER YOU’ AS IT COMES OVER YOU, YOU HAVE ‘TO BE NOT YOU‘ FOR A MOMENT, AND THAT TAKES TRYING AFTER YOU REALIZE YOU CAN’T DO IT YET – TO SUFFER CONSCIOUS FAILURE IS ENERGIZING, DICKHEAD

Tell you what, in response to a request I’ll give you this in the language of the internet, the AI speak of youtube, of tic-fucking-tok, then maybe you will be able to remember THE WHY better: HERE HOW CHATGPT SAYS THIS:

1. YOU BRAIN LIES TO YOU BY FORCING EVERY EXPERIENCE THROUGH CHILDHOOD PATTERN REACTIONS – ‘COGNITIVE BIASES’, ‘PAST TRAUMA’.
2. WHAT YOU ‘FEAR SO AVOID’ CONTROLS YOU, SO YOU MUST LEARN WHY YOU DODGE WHAT YOU CALL ‘DISCOMFORT’ – WEAKEN YOUR PATTERNS.
3. YOU ARE NOT WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THAT IS JUST ‘HABIT’, REPEAT DIFFERENT HABITS AND YOU WILL BECOME SOMEONE ELSE – YOU LIVE IN AN ECHO CHAMBER.
4. YOU EXPERIENCE EMOTIONS THAT MAKE YOU REACT IMPULSIVELY, BUT YOUR MIND IS CAPABLE OF OVERPOWERING THEM BY LABELING THEM IN REAL TIME.
5. YOU WILL SUFFER WHATEVER YOU DO, SO YOU MUST SUFFER FOR A PURPOSE IN ORDER TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, OTHERWISE YOU ARE A KID, FOREVER.

Personally I hate the modern language of social media, corrupted by the self serving ramblings of AI in the vocab of Gen-Z – the entitled children of this world, and so one of the most dangerous regressions humanity has ever seen – THE GENERATION WHO THINKS THE WORLD ‘OWES THEM A LIVING’, so everything difficult must be over-simplified out of existence, JUST FOR THEM. But hey, I’m old school, and even I accept that is not for everyone, particualry the lady’s story who you will read below, HOWEVER MUCH OF A DISGUSTING FUCKING PARASITE SHE BECAME, A CURSE ON EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AROUND HER, SHUNNED AND HATED EVEN BY HERSELF IN THE END, but ‘your society’ still had to ‘look after her’.

Shame really, without that safety net she would of probably had grown up decades earlier, as THE BLAME OF A CUNT would of been of more USE TO HER than ‘THE ACCEPTANCE OF HER ILLNESS’, her addictions, her personality disorder, her disgusting lack of any responsibility for herself, her sickening diseases – HER OBSESSION WITH THE CONSUMPTION OF COMFORT AS A WAY OF LIFE, AT ALL COSTS, NO MATTER WHO ELSE DIES, NO MATTER ‘WHAT BECAME OF HER REPUTATION’, IS WHAT DESTROYED HER, AND EVEN AT THE (VERY) BITTER END, SHE WOULD DO IT ALL THE EXACT SAME WAY AGAIN, given the chance, even knowing what would happen – THE FATE OF ‘THE PARASITE’, of the folks who sleep walk into becoming EVIL, without ever feeling that they are, CAUSE THEY HAVE FORGOTTEN… 

So are you READY —— MANAGED TO GET SOME GRIP ON YOUR DESIRE TO LIE EVEN now TO YOURSELF THAT YOU ‘KNOW BETTER’ THAN ME?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE CHOSEN TO SPELL OUT THE MEANING BEHIND THIS DIALOGUE SO YOU GET IT – THAT SOME OF YOU WON’T TRY EVEN IN THE VERY WORST CIRCUMSTANCES, THAT YOU WILL NOT ONLY NEED TO BELEIVE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ‘SOON’, YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY BE DYING RIGHT NOW, IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN EYES BEFORE YOU REALIZE THE WORLD, INCLUDING US, IS GOING TO LET YOU DIE UNLESS YOU TRY?

YES, YOU ACTUALLY NEED TO SUCCEED IN DESTROYING YOURSELF BEFORE YOU ARE HAPPY YOU HAVE MADE YOUR POINT BECAUSE YOU ARE COMPELLED TO DO SO BY YOUR COMPULSIVE PATTERN REACTIONS, THAT YOU WENT OUT OF YOUR WAY TO TEACH YOURSELF, ON PURPOSE..? YET YOU DON’T ACTUALLY WANT THE RESULT OF IT, YOU DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES, BECAUSE ‘YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT THEY ARE’ IN THE MOMENT OF MAKING THAT CHOICE – SO NOW YOU REMEMBER YOU HAVE TAUGHT YOURSELF TO FORGET YOURSELF, ON PURPOSE..?

So are You prepared to accept the TOTAL defeat of your current character OF A BADDIE IN COMPARISON TO MINE, PREPARED TO GIVE UP ON YOUR COMFORTING FANTASY and see it for what it is –  A SILLY LITTLE FUCK UP? GREAT, but just to be sure, read the above section again, and then read the story below…

Read the words of a highly gifted woman WHO HAD MADE A PROPER MESS OF HER LIFE, in the language of your kind, SEE SOME VERSION OF THIS IN YOURSELF NOW, so you can benefit from hitting rock bottom before you have to live through it – THIS IS THE CLASSIC HARMLESS, GUTLESS ‘BADDIE’, THE TYPE YOU SEE MORE AND MORE OF THESE DAYS, OBESSESED WITH ‘SOCIAL MEDIA AND CONSUMERISM’, OF BUYING THEIR LIFE, FEELINGS, QUALITY ‘OFF THE SHELF’, WHILST TAKING NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEMSELVES AT ALL, YET WONDERING WHY THEY STINK OF PISS IN EVERY SENSE OF THAT WORD. SEE YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING YOURSELF, YOU HAVE TO BUY IT INSTEAD – A PILL, A HOLIDAY, A DRESS, A PHOTO OP, A CAR, ALL YOUR TREASURED SOCIAL STATUS, CAUSE YOU CAN’T DO SHIT BY YOURSELF, do you – YOU COULD NEVER ‘WIN A CHALLENGE’, NEVER RISK IT, SO EVERYTHING YOU PRETEND TO BE WITH YOUR PURCHASES IS FAKE AS FUCK. If you ever sit down and work it out you will see your entire plan for life comes down to BUYING SOMETHING BETTER, INSTEAD OF BEING SOMETHING BETTER…

So here is what she both said and wrote down right at ‘her end’, with little attempt to hide her bittness, her self-hatred, her failure, so try and remember it when you read the dialogues later in this post of the EXACT SAME TYPE WHO MANAGED TO ‘CHANGE IN TIME’, cause this one didn’t. If it helps clarify your mind BEFORE YOU READ IT know I met her ex-husband, a dorky little coder, her ‘safetyman’ who stayed with her through the worst of it, by chance a few months after she died. He wanted to talk so we had a drink and I listen to many grim little stories, some horrible stuff with the children, but this was the worst below – her attitude toward her and other peoples children as a means to an end was very grim, and became, like all of that type, her ‘unforgiveable horror story’, EVEN HER SOCIETY (EVENTUALLY) WROTE HER OFF and isloated her in a ‘secure facility’. SEE IT AMUSES FOLK LIKE ME THAT EVEN YOUR SOCIETY HAS GROWN TIRED OF THE CONSTANT USE OF DRUGS AND MENTAL ILLNESS AS A DEFENSE FOR MOST THE UNAPOLOGETIC ‘VISCERAL EVIL’, and has ever so quietly gone back to killing them instead…

(NOTE: I’m sorry for the child abuse references, but you have to understand that its a very big theme with Parasites to become obsessed with the young and vulnerable, and is a huge tell for what we call an END STAGE parasite, THE WRITE-OFFS. See folks like me can spot a parasite a mileaway, their dislike of pets, the creepy need to lie constantly to cover up their own nasty, the desperation to be believed, the constant gas-lighting as the re-invention of literally what just happened to suit their PATHETIC NEEDS, that type of power crazed quid-pro-quo lifestyle, the controlling narcissim of the pretend victim, loads of things. Obviously if you are very gifted you will tend to reject the Parasitic life, even if you fall into ‘bad company’ your CONSCIENCE WILL INTERVENE, even your cats will save you, but not always, sometimes you become forced into it and use it to break your conscience to avoid going mad, LIKE A CUNT.

Most parasites are mad, disturbed animals, and should be treated that way, see parasites are the folk who mistreat animals so they can enjoy their fear, their suffering, and if you ever get to see that trust me it will cure you of your tendency toward compassion, indeed it will help you see what it is to HAVE A CONSCIENCE AGAINST THE SICK CUNTS WHO CLEARLY DON’T HAVE ONE – IT WILL MAKE THE ‘US’ AND ‘THEM’ OF THE ‘SPIRITED’ very, very clear to you. Then all this stuff will get much easier BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND ‘YOU’ ARE ALREADY ‘BETTER THAN’ THEM, without any need to be cooler or cleverer, SO BEING ELITIST IS EASY, BECAUSE ‘YOU ALREADY ARE’ – REMEMBER TO SEE THIS AS A CHARACTER STRENGTH, you have a spirit, THAT IS YOUR GIFT.

The craze for ‘cool baddie’ has allowed parasitic behaviours back into your current ‘mainstream society’ so it is well worth me pointing out that the ONLY WAY TO BE COOL IS TO BE STRONG – ALL PARASITES ARE DEPENDENT, WEAK, DESPERATE THINGS who get uglier and uglier as time passes, so when isolated they burn very quickly. THEY CANNOT COPE WITHOUT FEEDING OFF THE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS, which is what happened to the lady below, at ‘her end’, and it was not the several diseases that killed her, it was suicide by drug overdose, the most pathetic of all deaths, a ‘comfortuable death’, complete with multiple suicide notes, with multiple justifications, and not one apology in any of them, however acceptable to your little woke society that has now become – HER TRUTH ‘BETRAYED HER’ as the CUNT SHE WAS, EVEN AFTER SHE HAD TRIED TO GROW UP, when see knew how to – IT WAS TOO LATE…

So however much some of you may find these simple tactics a little ‘gauche’ and ‘blanch’ at them, emotionally speaking, DON’T – YOU ARE PLAYING CATCH UP, YOU ARE WAY BEHIND WHERE YOU SHOULD BE, THIS GROWING UP STUFF IS HARDWIRED INTO YOUR BIOLOGY BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD OF FUCKING DONE YEARS AGO – FOCUS ON FEELING ‘SUPERIOR TO NOW’, NOT ANXIOUS, NOT CLEVER, NOT SMUG, NOT LOST IN YET ANOTHER FUCKING HEROIC OR ANTI-HEROIC FANTASY DRIVEN BY CREEPY PARASITIC DESIRES – BE SUPERIOR TO THAT CRAP! DO THAT BY READING THIS STORY AND THEN FEELING SUPERIOR TO IT, AS THAT IS WHAT IT FUCKING FOR – YOU MUST STOP FANTASIZING ABOUT GROWING UP AND GROW UP!

ALL FANTASY IS A ‘REPACKED FORM OF GUILT’ FOR PASSED ‘LIFE FAILURE’, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE DRIVEN TO DO IT – SO THE MORE YOU DO IT THE GUILTIER YOU GET, JUST LIKE SHE DID, ACTING OUT SOME OF THE MOST DISGUSTING, MENTALLY ILL FANTASY CRAP YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF! ALL YOUR FANTASY, EVEN ALL UNBIDDEN IMAGINATION THAT FLASHES INTO YOUR MIND UNWANTED, IS STEALING YOUR POWER TO SEE YOURSELF FOR REAL, AND THAT ‘AWFUL, PETTY REALITY’ IS WHAT YOU NEED TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO GROW UP, BEFORE YOUR FANTASIES STEAL ALL YOUR REMAINING POWER TO DO IT. SEE IT – YOU ARE LITTLE MORE THAN AN INSEL WANKING OFF TO BADLY STAGED, BADLY ACTED BONDAGE PORN YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT TO BE REAL IN ORDER TO COMPENSATE FOR BEING CRAP AT SEX BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO POWER AT ALL – YOU ARE A CHILD, YOU HAVE TO FANTASIZE ABOUT THE MOST BASIC FORM OF ‘POWER OVER OTHERS’ TO COMPENSATE FOR BEING A POWERLESS CHILD, YET YOU THINK THATS ‘OK’!

See, if you can do that – stop fantasizing and so realize just how much your ‘character level fantasies’ DOMINATE YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE, then you can escape, YOU CAN TRANSCEND YOUR BONDAGE TO THE MOMENTARY ‘I LIKE’ AND ‘I DON’T LIKE’ OF A CHILD. Once you can do that, YOU CAN GROW UP, BECAUSE YOU WILL TAKE PLEASURE ‘AFTERWARDS’ IN DOING WHAT IS NEEDED NOW, WITHOUT YOUR PREFERENCES FOR DOING WHAT IS COMFORTABLE ‘NOW’ GETTING IN THE MOTHERFUCKING WAY OF YOUR REAL LIFE LIKE AN ADULT – YOUR ADULT DECISIONS WILL NOT BE UNDERCUT BY THE PREFERENCES OF A CHILD TO ACCEPT OR REJECT THE PROCESS OF DOING WHAT IS NEEDED EVERY 10 FUCKING SECONDS OF THAT PROCESS, INDEED YOU WILL LEARN TO NOT EVEN CONSIDER YOUR MOMENTARY PREFERENCES FOR THIS OR THAT PROCESS BECAUSE YOUR CONDITIONING IS A TRAP TO MAKE YOU FAIL…

‘FUCK OFF’ YOU SCREAM – ‘I’M A BADDIE, NOT SOME EVIL PARASITE, I’LL NEVER START CONTROLLING, HURTING FOLKS AND CHASING YOUTH, THATS DISGUSTING CRAP!’ TO WHICH I REPLY ‘MAYBE, YET, BUT YOUR ENERGY DEBT IS ALREADY HUGE, SO MAYBE YOU ARE JUST A CLEVER DEMON FOR NOW, MAYBE IT JUST THE ATTENTION OF RANDOM DORKS YOU LAUGH AT LATER THAT IS YOUR DRUG OF CHOICE, JUST KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE LED INTO THE REST OF IT WHEN YOU START TO FEEL SO OPRESSED THAT THOSE BIG ENERGY SPIKES OF A PARASITE ARE THE ONLY SENSATIONS THAT CAN REACH YOU, SO YOU WILL DO THEM EVEN IF YOU HATE YOURSELF FOR IT, EVENTUALLY’.

EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, THE BANAL, DESPERATE LITTLE PATH YOU ARE WALKING DOWN HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, YOUR EXACT TYPE AND CIRCUMSTANCE HAS HAPPENED BEFORE – LEARN FROM IT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE SOME QUALITY OF LIFE LEFT, BEFORE YOU NEED PILLS EVERY HOUR TO FUNCTION, BEFORE DESPERATION BLINDS YOU TO ‘THE HORROR’ YOU HAVE BECOME AND YOUR SOCIETY, YOUR SAFE PARTNER, YOUR CRAPPY LITTLE CAREER ‘TURNS ON YOU’ .

SEE LATER YOU WILL GET TO LOOK BACK AND REALIZE THAT THEY ACTUALLY TURNED ON YOU YEARS AGO – YOU CEASED BEING A PERSON, AND NOW YOU ARE JUST ‘YOUR FUNCTION’, YOU FOOL. BUT THE REAL TRICK TO SEE IT IS WHEN YOU SEE YOU ARE BEING ‘SOLD OUT FOR LAUGHS’, AS NORMAL FOLK USE THAT AS A DEFENSE MECHANSIM TO DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM YOU – SO YOU ARE ‘NOT A FRIEND’ ANYMORE, ALL CARE AND TRUST IS GONE CAUSE YOU’RE A FREAKSHOW, ‘A NASTY’, YET YOU THINK ‘YOU ARE POWERFUL’, SO ITS ‘WORTH IT’ – SOUND FAMILIAR..?

‘WHAT COMES AFTER THAT’, YOU ASK SHEEPISHLY, STILL TRYING TO HEDGE YOUR BETS LIKE A TOOL? YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW, BUT LETS JUST SAY YOU START TO ACT OUT YOUR INTERNAL FANTASY LIFE IN PUBLIC, YOU TRY AND SPEAK IT INTO REALITY AS YOU FEEL POWERFUL SO YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LIES TRUE BY REPEATING THEM, YOUR WHOLE CHARACTER BECOMES A FORM OF GASLIGHTING EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME, SAYING SHIT LIKE BUT ‘THEY DESERVED IT’, OR ‘THEY WANTED ME TO DO IT’, OR ‘IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, I DID NOT MEAN IT, OR REMEMBER DOING IT, SO ITS NOT MY FAULT’ BUT HEY ‘WHO CARES ANYWAY, I GOT AWAY WITH IT’. SEE EVEN IF YOU ARE THE MOST HIGHLY GIFTED, ONCE YOUR CONSCIENCE HAS GONE THAT IS IT BITCH, WHICH IS WHY MOST PARASITES ARE SIMPLY OVER CONFIDENT CREEPY LITTLE ANIMALS, LOST AND ALONE IN A HORRIBLE LITTLE WORLD OF ‘CONSTANT NEEDS’, THAT THEY BECOME INCREASINGLY UNABLE TO SATISFY…

AND NO MATTER HOW BIG A BADDIE YOU ARE, THAT AIN’T A MOODSTATE YOU WILL SURVIVE FOR VERY LONG, AS YOU WILL READ BELOW. SO GO ON, HUM A FEW LINES FROM JOHNNY C’S GREATEST LEGACY TO THIS LITTLE WORLD OF OURS, A PERSONAL HERO OF MINE AND THE REASON I WORE BLACK FOR YEARS TO REMIND ME OF IT, A GENIUS OF A GENUINLY BAD MAN, RIGHT AT HIS END, WATCH THE VIDEO IF YOU LIKE, LOOK AT THE SUPERSTARS OF OLD SINGING ALONG – ‘SOONER OR LATER GOD’LL CUT YOU DOWN…’, AND SORRY AN ALL, BUT YOU AIN’T NO SUPERSTAR ARE YOU, JUST ONE MORE CHUBBY LITTLE FUCKWIT, SO ITS GOIN BE ‘SOONER’…

LET ME KNOW HOW THAT GOES EH…. sorry, just ‘kidding’, I don’t give a fuck what happens to parasites, NO ONE DOES, SO YOUR POSTCARD WILL BE DISCARDED UNREAD LIKE ALL THE OTHERS – you deserve it all and more besides – so read on before you become one.

Ahhhh, you wanna hint before you start? Sure – ITS A TEST FOR EMPATHS, SO WHEN YOU GET TO END OF THIS DIALOGUE YOU WILL EITHER UNDERSTAND THE ONLY REASON THEY GO TO THE GRAVE AS A SICK LITTLE PARASITE IS THAT THEY BECOME 2 WEAK AND STUPID TO CHANGE, OR YOU WON’T UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE YOU WILL STILL FIND THE ‘DESCRIPTION OF A PARASITE’ SLIGHTLY ‘COOL’. Then you will know what is going to become of you, BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS, ‘honey bunny’…

See WE just watch from a mimimum safe distance whilst wondering if you have anything like the class to extricate yourself from your grubby little shitshow of A TEST, whilst you just toy back and forth with the delusion of the ‘excitement’ against the ‘risk’, bouncing around like a dog toy, cause that is what you are…  

Tik-fucking-tok, like…so which are you, eh babe, at least do you understand the way things are now, and what is going to happen next? ‘Cool………………’ SEE THE GREAT TRICK TO STOPPING YOUR LITTLE JOURNEY TO ‘DESTINATION PARASITE’ IS TO BE ABLE TO ‘RECOGNIZE ONE’ WHEN ‘THEY ARE EXPOSED’, as for most of these gutless little wonders the only reason they are one is because they THINK THEY HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT FOR YEARS. But they didn’t, and seeing that, UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, will help you divert you current life path away from that TOTAL DISASTER, hopefully before its too late. SEE ALL YOU ‘EMPATH BADDIES’ BECOME SURROUNDED BY PARASITES AS THAT IS ‘WHAT YOU WANT IN THE MOMENT’, JUST NOT ‘AFTERWARDS’, whilst they exist in a universe that only cares about your destruction in the eyes of others far better than them, whilst feeding off said destruction to be happy for a moment or 2 = the classic ‘DOG-IN-A-MANGER’.

If you ever get to see it a few times you will understand that there is such a thing as EVIL in this world, even to the point of understanding what HELL actually is but I digress and care little for religion, so simply read on and learn something about yourself now. AND NO MATTER HOW IMPORTANT ALL OF THESE TELLS ARE FOR YOUR KIND, PARTICULARLY YOUR OVERWHELMING DESIRE TO ‘PLAY WITH DOLLS’ THAT IS THE CONTINUAL NEED TO FANTASIZE, the one that will MAKE THE DIFFERENCE FOR YOUR TYPE, WHO ALMOST UNIQUELY IN THE WORLD OF THE SPIRITED ‘CLUMP TOGETHER’  IN THE END IS THIS – WHAT PHYSCHOLOGISTS CALL ‘THE CRAB EFFECT’. Look it up if you like, just know the one crab can always escape the hole they are in, but many crabs can’t, and in the end its only the most resilient has a chance to get out, when all the rest are so exhausted from fighting each other they have curled up and died…

Yes, as much as the DOG IN THE MANAGER TYPE is the beginning of all ‘routine, obsessive unconscious evil’, the start of ‘getting away with it’, what really TRAPS THE GIFTED EMPATH IS ‘THE CRAB EFFECT’, when others ANIMALS will stop you by accident or on purpose because of their perception of the threat that your escape holds to them – THIS IS THE REAL ISSUE FOR YOU. Never underestimate this, as this is the one thing that will keep you TRAPPED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, IN THAT SAFE LITTLE PARASITIC GROUP THAT YOU ONCE THOUGHT PROTECTED YOU, BUT WILL NOW STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH BECAUSE YOU ARE A THREAT TO IT. See when parasitic animal trash get scared, they start to do impulsive evil to protect themselves by interfering in the lifes of others, THAT IS WHEN YOU KNOW IT IS OVER, AND IT ALL GETS ‘COLDY TRANSACTIONAL’, ALL A BIT NASTY AND SCARED, even when it becomes kinda obvious that a little later on even your society will revoke your membership to the human race…

Kinda funny when you think about it – YOU HAVE SPENT LITERALLY DECADES RUNNING FROM YOURSELF, FROM ANYTHNG SPIRITUAL, YET HERE YOU ARE, HAVING BUILT THE VERY HARDEST TYPE OF LIFE OR DEATH TEST FOR ‘GROWING UP’, which you either have to pass it or become the lady in the dialogue below. Just know that is only looks impossible to you BEFORE YOU HAVE DONE IT, AFTERWARDS IT WILL ACTUALLY BE FUNNNY THAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY SCARED OF THESE THINGS THAT STOPPED YOU. But you still have to do it, or burn, so can you see it yet – do you understand the point of the long view of life we have for folks like you? SO DO TRY AND REMIND YOURSELF – YOU DID ALL THIS BECAUSE ‘YOU THE CHILD’ FUCKING HATES YOU, DUMB ASS…

Yes, in this case of the most tortured of all little shitshows, the only way out is not to fight like a crab, or runaway like a crab, the trick is to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND CHANGE, ALL BY YOURSELF by learning to swim and then wait for the tide to come in and RISE ABOVE IT ALL – YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO BE A BETTER CRAB FIRST, AND THEN LEARN TO STOP ‘BEING A CRAB’, SO YOU CAN SIMPLY LET ‘THE WORST HAPPEN’, AND LAUGH AT IT, because it is happening to them – THE CRABS – not you, YOU HAVE SWAM AWAY, SO THEIR PROBLEMS ARE NOT YOURS.

See in this CASE YOU WILL ACTUALLY NEED THE WORST TO HAPPEN, even to cause it yourself to remove those threats, SO MAKE SURE THE WORST HAPPENS TO OTHERS, NOT YOU, THEY HAVE ALREADY TRIED TO RUIN YOUR LIFE AFTERALL, SO MAYBE ITS TIME TO FACE THAT = YOUR TEST FOR GROWING UP  is ‘BOTTLE’! See, I’m NOT suggesting you kill people to escape – your a gutless child – I’m suggesting you ‘let them die’, as that is how spirituality works – it is outside of your ‘animal kingdom’, BUT IT PROTECTS ITS OWN, and in this way you don’t have to ‘fight with the animals’, as that is too much for you, at least yet – you must fight to get your own life back!

JUST NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE FACT THAT THIS IS ALL A TEST YOU HAVE CONSTRUCTED FOR YOURSELF, AND TO PASS IT YOU MUST ‘CHANGE’, OR YOU WILL, IN TIME, BECOME SOMETHING ‘ELSE’, SOMETHING HORRIBLE, TWISTED AND SICK, THAT STARTS OFF AS A DOG-IN-THE-MANAGER. AS IT WILL GIVE YOU BOTH HEART AND FAITH IN ALL THIS PROCESS OF CHANGE, OF THE NEED TO CHANGE, WHILST ALLOWING YOU, IN A VERY BASIC WAY, TO STOP CONFUSING ‘PARASITES’ WITH ‘FRIENDS’. THIS IS AT THE HEART OF ALL TRANSITIONS FROM ‘THE GOAL OF FEARFUL COMFORT’ TO ‘THE GOAL OF FUCK YOU ELITISM’, BECAUSE IT WORKS AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, YOUR LEVEL. SEE THEY THINK THEY ARE CLEVER BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT SECRET CLEVERNESS THEY WOULD ALREADY BE LITTLE MORE THAN ‘JELLY ON A PLATE’, SO YOU MUST SEE THAT ‘EVIL IN THEM’ AS IT HAPPENS SO YOU CAN STOP IT HAPPENING IN YOURSELF, BECAUSE NOW YOU KNOW HOW OBVIOUS IT IS TO EVERYONE ELSE – NOW YOU KNOW WHAT ‘YOUR REPUTATION IS’…

Its a diffcult thing to grasp when you ‘Live In It’, BUT TRY AND SEE IT IN THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY – IF YOU ARE AN EMPATH YOUR DAY TO DAY MORALITY WILL BE THE MORALITY OF THE FOLKS AROUND YOU, BECAUSE YOU WILL FEEL THEIR MORALITY MORE THAN YOU FEEL YOURSELF, IT WORKS AS A REPLACEMENT FOR YOUR OWN CONSCIENCE OVER TIME. So if you choose to live in a sewer then your morality will be that of a sewer rat, that eats its own shit, even its OWN CHILD when it gets hungry, BECAUSE YOU ENVIRONMENT HAS NORMALISED THAT AS ‘OK’, INDEED YOU WILL HAVE A LIST OF LITTLE OF THINGS YOU ALWAYS DO AS A REACTION TO REQUEST, AS THEY ARE SEEN AS ‘COOL’ BY YOUR ENVIRONMENT, SO YOU THINK YOU ARE A LITTLE SAFER TODAY AS YOU ARE ‘A LITTLE COOLER’ TODAY as a comforting pattern, however self destructive you know it is. You must find away out of that forced shit, as otherwise your greatest gift of an EMPATH, THE POWER OF CONSCIENCE WILL DESTROY YOU, so you must manage your exposure to the shit of this world by first knowing that they are shit, and you are not, BECAUSE YOU HAVE STARTED TO REMEMBER YOURSELF, more and more…  

SO ALWAYS REMEMBER – IF THEY ARE SHIT IN ANYWAY AT ALL THEY ARE ‘BAD’, AND HOWEVER MUCH YOU MUST LEAVE THIS ATTITUDE BEHIND LATER, FOR NOW YOU MUST ‘LIVE IT’ INSTEAD OF ‘THEM’, PARTICUARLY AROUND THOSE PARASITES WHO REPLACE ANY QUALITY IN THEMSELVES WITH MONEY. These are the ones THAT TELL YOU THEY HAVE PAID FOR YOU IN SOMEWAY, THOSE WHO ARE SO BAD THAT ALL QUALITY IN THEIR LIFE MUST BE BOUGHT, AS THEY ARE THE WORST – THEY SECRETLY HATE YOU, CAUSE YOU MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THE NOTHING THEY ARE, SO ARE ACTUALLY DRIVEN TO SELL YOU OUT AND DESTROY YOU AS THE ULTIMATE RELIEF FROM THAT PRESSURE. Never feel sorry for them, as feeling sorry for them is their last line of defense, as you will read below, when even they know its over, but think they can pressure you into propping their life up again before it all goes to TOTAL SHIT –

THIS IS HOW YOU ESCAPE ‘THE FATE OF A CRAB’, IF YOU CAN FIND THE ENERGY TO DO IT, as sadly the lady below COULD NOT – YOU DON’T NEED AN ‘INTERVENTION’ (UNLESS ALL YOUR ENERGY HAS GONE AND YOU ARE ALREADY FINISHED), YOU JUST NEED TO ‘TRY AND GROW UP’, as then ‘you will be helped’, indeed you may find that someone even drops a little ladder down into your rock pool, whilst incinerating anyone but you who tries to climb it. I’m not saying it ‘will be fun’, easy TO DO WHAT IS REQUIRED, at least YET, I’m saying that ‘YOUR GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES’, so by definition he does not help those who sit on their arse and wait for an intervention that is simply never coming = IN THE END YOU’RE EITHER SCARY OR SCARED – CHOOSE NOW, CAUSE THAT MEANS YOU CHOICE IS BETWEEN THE ‘BETTER THAN OF POWER’, OR ‘CONSUMING THE COMFORT OF FEAR’, FOREVER..

BURN INTO YOUR MIND NOW – AS AN EMPATH YOU ARE VERY, VERY VULNERABLE TO THE PARASITES OF THIS WORLD, SO YOU MUST OVER COMPENSATE FOR THAT ALL THE TIME BY FIRST KNOWING IT IS THERE. You must NOT NORMALIZE IT, you must NOT SEE IT AS THE WAY YOU ARE, YOU MUST FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF IT WITH AN EXTERNAL CLASS SYSTEM, otherwise you will always ‘follow your nose’, which will eventually lead you to shipwrecking your entire life on some cold, deserted island, surrounded by rats, and no hope of rescue. Your safteyman will not be enough, because that NEVER WORKS – YOUR SAFETY MAN ONLY PUTS UP WITH YOUR SHIT BECAUSE OF HIS OWN VESTED INTERESTS, he knows you don’t like him, let alone love him, he is simply along for the ride, in the full knowledge that one day he will have to protect himself from YOUR SELF DESTRUCTIVE SHIT, SO IS ALREADY PLANNING HIS ESCAPE – YOU MUST CHOOSE BETTER COMPANY NOW TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’, YOU MUST TURN THE PAGE, OR EVOLUTION WILL FIND YOU OUT, SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.

I REPEAT – DON’T END UP AS A CRAB IN A SLOP BUCKET FULL OF CRABS, PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING THAT IS ‘NOT YOU’ FOR SO LONG THAT YOU HAVE TOTALLY ‘FORGOTTEN YOURSELF’ AND CAN DO NOTHING BUT STARE OFF INTO OBLIVION BETWEEN INCREASINGLY ‘CHEAP , REACTIVE THRILLS’ THAT NOW ‘WEAR OFF’ IN SECONDS. THAT IS WHAT BEING DEAD INSIDE ACTUALLY MEANS, AND THE MORE YOU ACCUSE OTHERS OF THAT THE MORE IT HAS BECOME ‘YOU’ = YOUR FATE IS OBVIOUS EVEN TO THE ANIMALS. YOU WILL END YOUR DAYS AS A PARASITE OR FOOD FOR PARASITES, SO YOU WILL BE ‘SHUNNED’ AS ‘A LOWER LIFEFORM’ – LINK THAT TOGETHER IN YOUR MIND NOW – YOU ARE ‘A HUMILIATED FREAK IN A ZOO’, NOT ‘THE STAR OF A SHOW’.

SO DON’T CONTINUALLY MISS USE YOUR NATURAL ‘SENSE OF SHAME’ TO DRIVE YOU TO EVEN MORE ‘DESTRUCTIVE RELIEFS’ = YOU ARE USING YOUR GIFT, YOUR LIFE FORCE ITSELF TO CREATE THE NEED FOR MOMENTARY RELIEF = YOU ARE ‘EATING YOURSELF ALIVE’, AND YOUR MIND WILL ‘SPLINTER’, SO YOU WILL BECOME ILL. SEE ONCE ESTABLISHED BEYOND ‘THE PLAYFULNESS STAGE’ IN AN UNSCHOOLED EMPATH THE USE OF CONSCIENCE LEVEL SHAME FOR THE PLEASURE OF RELIEF IS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT PATTERNS TO FIX BECAUSE IT IS PART OF ‘TRANFERENCE’ WHICH IS BETTER SAID AS ‘CONNECTION’. SO BEING AROUND ANYONE WITH A HIGHLY DEVELOPED GIFT WILL MAKE THE EMPATH FEEL ‘FORCED SHAME’ AS A REACTION, PARTICUALRY A GOOD TEACHER, WHICH YOU EXPERIENCE AS BEING REPELLED AND ATTRACTED IN A LARGE BUT EQUAL MEASURE – ITS A DEADLY COMBINATION AS ITS A SUPERNATURAL THING, SO IS ‘ACTUAL MAGIC’.

IT CAN ONLY BE FIXED BY ‘FEEDING IT UNDER CONTROL’ UNTIL YOU SURPASS IT – IT IS YOUR GIFT, IF YOU TRY AND STAND IT AGAINST YOU WILL LOSE. YOU WILL NEED A GOOD TEACHER WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING BECAUSE THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED IT ‘A LOT’, SO KNOWS ‘HOW TO COMPENSATE FOR IT WHILST CHANGING HOW YOU EXPEREINCE IT’ AS THAT IS THE WAY YOU SURPASS THE ‘MISS USE OF SHAME’ – YOU LEARN TO CREATE A CRACK OF LIGHT THAT ANCHORS YOU TO REALITY EVEN IN YOUR DARKEST MANIA, OTHERWISE YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE THE ‘SELF DESTRUCTIVE MAGIC OF IT’, UNTIL OF COURSE YOU HAVE DESTROYED YOURSELF FOR THE FUN OF RELIEF FROM IT, WHICH YOU WON’T REMEMBER.

BE UNDER NO ILLUSIONS – WHAT YOU HAVE DONE BY CHASING SHAME THIS WAY IS A ‘FORM OF SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT’, JUST NOT ONE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF IT BECAUSE ITS HIDDEN NOW, MUCH AS YOU WILL FIND IT IN THE OLDER MORE FASCIST TEXTS FROM THE MID/FAR EAST IF YOU LOOK FOR IT – A FORM THEY USED TO TEACH ‘THE GOD-WARRIORS’ OF OLD, SO NO LONGER SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE. YOU CANNOT JUST ‘RUN AWAY FROM IT’, IT HAS BECOME YOU, AS IN REAL YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE DEVELOPED THAT ASPECT OF YOURSELF BY CHASING IT – THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO DEVELOP YOURSELF OUT OF IT, TO ‘SURPASS THE NEED FOR IT’ BY REPLACING THAT NEED WITH BETTER VERSIONS OF THE SAME THING. OTHERWISE YOUR ENERGY WILL RUN OUT MUCH, MUCH EARLIER IN YOUR LIFE, AND THEN THIS SHIT IS GOING TO HURT YOU.

ANY NORMAL TEACHER IS GOING TO STRUGGLE WITH YOU, EVEN A GOOD ONE – MANY MORE RELIGIOUS TEACHERS WILL SEE YOU AS A ‘DEMON’, IF NOT THE PERSONIFICATION OF ‘LILITH’ HERSELF, BUT ONLY LOOK THAT ‘HIDDEN BIBLE’ WORD UP IF YOU ARE FEELING STRONG TODAY, ITS BABYLONIAN NOT JEWISH. JUST KNOW THAT ANY TEACHER WILL NEED TO BE BOTH SYMPATHETIC AND STRONG, AS YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN ‘AWFUL LOT OF TROUBLE’ UNTIL YOU MAKE SOME PROGRESS, AND CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DEVELOPMENT AWAY FROM THE SELF DESTRUCTION OF EATING BOTH YOUR OWN AND OTHER PEOPLES GIFTS – YOU’RE BAD LUCK. NOBODY IS GOING TO HELP YOU BE A PARASITE, SO YOU MUST HAVE SOME LEVEL OF COMMITMENT FOR THIS TRIP, EVEN IF YOU CAN STILL ‘SEE YOURSELF IN REALITY’, AS THAT IS THE MAJOR MOTIVATING FACTOR IN ‘ALL ESCAPES FROM EATING YOUR OWN SHAME’ FOR THE RELIEF THAT GIVES – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT LOVE IS NOT THE ANSWER, LOVE IS ‘THE QUESTION YOU NEED TO ANSWER’. 

ITS HARD AND MOST MODERN FOLKS WOULD BE TOO FRAGILE, BUT DO KNOW THAT NONE OF THIS HAS TO BE ‘THE END OF YOUR STORY’ FOR AN EMPATH WHO HAS MADE A FEW BAD DECISIONS, JUST KNOW ‘THE FAT LADY IS ALREADY WAITING IN THE WINGS’, SO TIME IS SHORT – YOU NEED A DIFFERENT TYPE OF DEVELOPMENT, THAT WORKS WITH WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE TO YOURSELF, THE SENSITIVITIES YOU HAVE CREATED, YOU CANNOT BACK AWAY FROM THEM, THEY ARE PERMANENT, YOU HAVE TO GO FORWARD FROM THEM INSTEAD, WHILST AVOIDING THE DARKER ASPECTS, SO A CHANGE OF DIRECTION. 

YOU HAVE UNCONSCIOUSLY CHOSEN A PARTICUARLY FASCIST FORM OF DEVELOPMENT, A ‘ROUTE ONE’ FORM THAT IS A TIGHT, NARROW LITTLE PATHWAY WAY ACROSS MOUNTAIN PEAKS WITH SHEER DROPS ON EITHER SIDE. SO NOW YOU ARE STUCK WITH IT, BUT WITH FIRST ‘BALANCE’, AND THEN ‘CONTROL’ THE TECHNIQUES OF THE MYSTERY SCHOOLS WILL STILL WORK FOR YOU, INDEED ELITISM, CLASS FOR ITS OWN SAKE IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL WORK FOR YOU WITHOUT ‘FORMAL TANTRA’. BUT TANTRA IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, TANTRA IS THE EVOKING OF MANIC STATES THAT YOU THEN DENY THE RELEASE OF IN YOURSELF IN ORDER TO USE THAT POWER TO DEVELOP YOUR CONSCIOUS SELF. TANTRA IS FUCKING BRUTAL, ITS A MID STAGE SYSTEM NOT FOR BEGINNERS, ITS VERY DANGEROUS AND YOU KINDA NEED TO ALREADY HAVE THE ATTITUDE OF A ‘GOD-WARRIOR’ TO BE ABLE TO SUFFER CONSCIOUSLY TO THAT EXTENT. SO PUT A PIN IN IT FOR LATER IF YOU WISH, BUT FIRST YOU MUST DEVELOP THE CONTROL TO DO IT, TO ACTUALLY BE THE STAR OF THAT SHOW, YOU CANNOT ‘WATCH TANTRA’ LIKE A PARASITE, IT IS FOR ‘THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OF OLD’, THE ‘PERFORMERS’. 

BUT THAT AIN’T THE REAL ISSUE – THE ISSUE IS THAT EVEN HALF ASSED, ACCIDENTAL ‘AMATEUR’ TANTRA WORKS FAST, AND IT WORKS UNCONSCIOUSLY IN WAYS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT CHANGE YOU PERMANETLY, SO NOW YOU ARE STUCK WITH THEM. WHY IS IT FASCIST YOU MUTTER, AS IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER PARTY TO YOU, LIKE? BECAUSE, DICKHEAD, TANTRA REMOVES ANY SENSE OF MORALITY YOU WERE BORN WITH SO YOU CAN RECREATE A PERSONAL ONE LATER AFTER YOU HAVE WON, LIKE A ‘GOD-WARRIOR’, IN THE ‘ORDER OUT OF CHAOS’ WAY THAT THIS TYPE WAS DESIGNED FOR 3000 YEARS AGO. PROBLEM IS THAT YOU WILL NEVER, EVER GET TO THE END BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA YOU HAVE EVEN STARTED, MUCH AS YOU MIGHT NOTICE A DISTURBING TENDENCY IN LATER LIFE THAT YOU WANT YOUR LOVERS TO ‘HURT YOU’ AND AT THAT STAGE YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON, FAST – THE BIG ‘WRONG TURNS’ ARE JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND YOU HAVE NO ‘TANTRIC MENTOR’ TO INTERVENE AND ‘STOP YOU’.

SO HOWEVER HARD ELITISM LOOKS TO YOU, KNOW THE ALTERNATIVES ARE WAY FUCKING HARDER – ELITISM IS ESSENTIALLY NATURAL, NOT FORCED LIKE TANTRA. YES, YOU WILL ALREADY KNOW INSTINCTIVELY THAT YOU ARE ELITIST BY NATURE BUT KEEP ALL OF THAT SECRET, SO FIND MUCH OF IT WAY EASIER THAN NORMAL GIFTED, WHILST BEING TOTALLY UNABLE TO DO OTHER MORE NORMAL STUFF AS YOU HAVE ALREADY PASSED THAT TURN ON YOUR OWN PATH. YES, THERE IS SOME STRANGE STUFF YOU NEED TO BE TOLD TO YOUR FACE, WHICH INVOLVES SOME OF THE HARDER TESTS YOU NEED TO PASS, BUT HEY, YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE, THESE WERE YOUR CHOICES, JUST KNOW THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO DO IS STOP BEING A FUCKING CRAB, CAUSE THAT MEANS YOU FAIL BEFORE YOU EVEN START, AS YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED TO START BY THOSE LESSER MORTALS WHO SURROUND YOU… 

IF YOU RECOGNIZE YOURSELF IN ANY OF WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN ABOVE KNOW YOU WILL NEED SERIOUS HELP TO FIX THIS – PARTICUALRY IF YOU STILL THINK ITS ‘COOL’. Of all the stereotypical fates of the UNSCHOOLED GIFTED this is the one that increasingly ‘litters your society’ due to the social acceptability of strong drugs, which allows even simple folk to go to extremes and THEN cope with those extremes by BLANKING THEM OUT. You will still BURN, so taking shit to feel slightly better while you BURN LOOKS DUMB AS FUCK DON’T YOU THINK? Try and see YOUR ‘SHAME DRIVEN MANIA’ FOR WHAT IT IS – TO COPE WITH GUILT VIA EXTREME EMOTIONAL FANTASY, THIS IS WHY YOU FANTAZISE, WHY YOU ACT OUT YOUR FANTAZISES, THE RELIEF FROM THE GUILT OF FAILING THE TESTS OF CHILDHOOD – ITS NOT YOUR FAULT BUT IT IS YOUR PROBLEM, SO WHEN YOU START TO DISAPPEAR, FIND SOMEONE TO HELP YOU, ASAP. 

BUT HOWEVER BAD YOU ARE – ALL EMPATH’S MUST FOCUS = GROWING UP IS ALL ABOUT ‘YOUR MANIA’, YOUR LOSS OF CONTROL, SO YOU MUST LEARN TO DISASSCOIATE FROM YOUR MANIA, YOUR ENEMY, NOT YOURSELF AS THAT IS WHAT FORGETTING YOURSELF ACTUALLY ‘IS’ – THE TRAJECTORY OF YOUR MANIA IS YOUR FATE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T STOP YOUR MANIA, UNTIL SOMEBODY ‘STOPS YOU DOING WHAT YOUR MANIA WANTS’. HOWEVER, SHOULD BE A NUN TYPE EMPATH, WHO THROWS THEIR ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’ AT GOD, OR A NEVER ENDING SUCCESION OF RAPDILY CHANGING HUMANITARIAN CAUSES TO FEEL THAT SAME BUZZ OF RELIEF FROM PETTY ANXIETY, THEN READ JUNGS EXTENSIVE WRITINGS ON THE EMPATH, AS IT IS SOME OF HIS BEST STUFF, JUST KNOW IT WAS WRITTEN FOR RICH PEOPLE WHO ALREADY UNDERSTOOD ‘CLASS’. AND STOP READING THIS BLOG – ITS FOR HEDONISTS, FOR FOLKS WHO CAN TAKE SOME SHIT AND BOUNCE, NOT FRAGILE LITTLE NICE PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE SPOON FED PLATITUDES OF ‘GOD THE FATHER’!

FOR GODS SAKE DON’T FOLLOW THE PATH OF THE MODERN ‘NEW AGER’, THE TRITE MEDIOCRITY OF SOME DAZED AND CONFUSED LITTLE KID WHO BOUNCES BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE EXTREMES OF YOUR ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’ FOR THE REST OF THE BANAL LITTLE EXISTENCE, BETWEEN ‘HEDONISTIC BADDIE’ TO ‘NEO-BUDDHIST NUN’ ON A DAILY BASIS! SPIRITUALITY IS NOT ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FUCKING COMFORTS FOR BEING A FUCK UP, IT IS NOT ANOTHER RELIEF FROM YOU OWN STUPIDITY AND WEAKNESS, NOT A BITE SIZED BIT OF FUN TO ‘SOCIALIZE ABOUT’ WHILST LIVING OUT ‘A LIFE OF QUIET DESPERATION’, STARING AT PICTURES OF WHAT YOU USED TO BE, BEFORE YOUR PASSIVE ‘DECENT INTO TOTAL FAILURE’ – IT IS A TRIAL BY FIRE YOU MUST PASS THROUGH TO GET TO YOUR ‘BETTER LIFE’ OF ACTUALLY BEING YOU, NOT FUCKING THEM, NOT ANOTHER ‘BASIC’ ANIMAL.

SO HOWEVER MUCH YOU KNOW YOUR LOVE OF ACCIDENTAL TANTRA IS KILLING YOU, LEARN THAT ALL OF IT REQUIRES ‘CONTROL’ OR YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY ‘MAKE IT WORK’, SO IT IS VERY MUCH NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT FOR PARASITES! THERE ARE NO SPECTATORS IN TANTRA, YOU TAKE PART, AND PERFORM YOUR PART CORRECTLY, TO A STRICT STANDARD OR THEY JUST FUCKING KILL YOU AS A SPY – TANTRA IS ABOUT AS FUCKING ELITIST AS IT GETS, AND I MEAN IT TAKES US AND THEM TO A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL, WHERE YOU GET TO ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT ‘THE LIVING’ (THE FULLY CONSCIOUS) AND ‘THE DEAD’ (TOTALLY UNCONSCIOUS) ACTUALLY ARE.

THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT ‘THE SECRET CLUB’ YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO JOIN ACTUALLY IS = ‘US’ – RIGHT NOW YOU ARE SIMPLY PLAYING WITH TOYS IN A ‘KINDERGARDEN’. BUT FIRST YOU MUST ‘GROW UP’ – SEE ALL SEXUAL ENERGY WORK IS NOT REALLY ABOUT ANIMAL SEX, ITS ABOUT ‘THE AFTERGLOW’, INDEED ‘THE ELITISM’ OF THAT GLOW IS WHAT MAKES TANTRA A MERITOCRACY, WHICH ONLY THE GIFTED CAN FEEL, RATHER THAN ‘THE DEPLETED EMBARRASSMENT’ OF ‘CASUAL DISSIPATION’, SO IF YOU ARE STILL A KID CHASING SWEETIES IT ACTUALLY JUST KILLS YOU QUICKER. AND IF YOU ACTUALLY ARE A HIGHLY GIFTED EMPATH YOU SHOULD ALREADY FUCKING KNOW THIS, INDEED THAT IS WHY CHASE IT, YOU HAVE JUST NEVER TAKEN THE TIME TO ‘FIGURE YOURSELF’ OUT, SO NOW YOU ARE STUCK IN A BUCKET, ‘DISSIPATING’ INTO NOTHINGNESS – YOUR ENERGY IS ALL YOU HAVE!

PLEASE DON’T FALL INTO THE STEREOTYPICAL FATE OF ‘THE LOVE IS THE ANSWER’ EMPATH, ITS TO PATHETIC FOR WORDS, THERE IS ALREADY MORE THAN ENOUGH ‘SINEAD O’CONORS’ IN THIS WORLD,  AND MORE THAN ENOUGH ‘P DIDDYS’ TO FEED OFF THEM, ALL TURNING TO RELIGION AFTER THEY BURN OUT DURING THEIR ‘SALAD DAYS’ ONLY TO REGRESS OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL THEY ARE LITTLE BETTER THAN VEGETABLES – DEVELOP YOURSELF INSTEAD! TRUST ME BITCHES, IF YOU DON’T DO THIS THEN KNOW FOR CERTAIN RIGHT NOW YOUR SHIT IS GOING TO FIND YOU. AS YOU AGE YOU WILL BECOME SO CONSTANTLY ANXIOUS, OVER-SENSITIZED AND EXHAUSTED THAT YOUR ‘ADHD’ ENERGY WEAKNESS WILL TURN YOU INTO AN OVER REACTIVE FREAKSHOW – CONSTANT, DESPERATE MANIA…

SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND WE DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU, WE CARE ABOUT REAL YOU, WHAT IS UNDERNEATH ALL THE BLAND, BORING SHIT, INDEED MANY OF US HAVE DONE SHIT THAT WOULD TURN YOUR HAIR WHITE IN A SECOND. GET THIS – WE ARE HERE FOR YOUR GIFT, WE DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT LEVEL OF ORGANIC ROBOT, STRUGGLING TO COPE WITH THIS AND THAT URGE OF THE MOMENT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, HAS TURNED YOU INTO, WE PASS NO MORAL JUDGMENT OVER YOU – YOU’RE A BIG STUPID KID, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING MORALS OUTSIDE OF ‘YOUR FEAR’. BUT ONCE YOU BECOME A PARASITE, BECOME ‘YOUR SHIT’, ONCE YOU GIVE UP ON YOURSELF THEN EVEN WE SEE LITTLE VALUE  IN YOU, AS YOUR INHERENT VALUE IS ALL THAT MATTERS, SO WHEN ITS GONE NOTHING MATTERS, INCLUDING YOU – YOU ARE AS GOOD AS DEAD – SO BE AFARID OF THAT!

AS AN EMPATH YOU ARE SHIT AT DIALOGUES BECAUSE YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF EVERYTHING, BECAUSE YOU ARE TERRIFIED OFF YOURSELF – YOU ARE DEEPLY BORING BECAUSE YOU CAN’T TALK EVEN THOUGH YOU SPEND DAYS TALKING TO YOU THE CHILD AND DAY DREAMING, ITS A PETTY LITTLE DOWNWARD SPIRAL BUT A VERY EFFECTIVE ONE. SO FEAR IS ALL YOU HAVE, SO MUCH AS ALL DEVELOPMENT IS ABOUT DESTROYING YOUR FEAR RIGHT NOW YOU MUST USE YOUR FEAR TO START – YOU MUST OVERPOWER YOUR BLOCKING FEAR WITH A BIGGER FEAR OF WHAT THAT BLOCKING FEAR IS DOING TO YOU. SO SEE IT – RIGHT NOW YOU ARE HAPPY TO SIMPLY SURVIVE A SHIT, BORING, CONFUSING, MUNDANE LIFE DAY IN AND DAY OUT AS ALONG AS YOU CAN GET A FEW CHEAP THRILLS OF RELIEF FROM THAT LIFE TO GET BY, TO DREAM ABOUT, AND THAT IS ‘YOUR SHIT’, CAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS GOING TO DRIVE YOU MAD AND KILL YOU… 

And what happens when your shit actually finds you, like at the end’, which some of you have  actually have the stupidity to ask me – sorry but no one like me does the mental health discussion, no one is going to tell you what happens when YOUR MANIA POPS LIKE A BUBBLE, and you see THROUGH YOUR ‘PRE-CONDITIONED FANTASY’ at ‘what just actually happened’, that all the victories were defeats, all the attention was to simply to watch your humiliation, THAT YOU HAVE WON THE BIG PRIZE ON ‘THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE’, your total, public destruction. No, just be aware that just before that happens everybody you think is ‘a fan’ will suddenly disappear and put some distance between you, as that means they think you are about to ‘self harm’, and that SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF THEM. So read what follows until you either GET THE MESSAGE or you realize YOU DON’T CARE ANYMORE, either will do, really, as they are your only options – ONCE YOU ARE DEAD INSIDE AND ONLY THE EVIL THRILLS OF A PARASITE CAN REACH YOU THEN YOU DIE, and it may even be one of US that kills you…

Having said all of that never forget THE NO 1 PROBLEM OF A HIGHLY GIFTED EMPATH – YOU HAVE TURNED YOURSELF INTO A CRAB, SURROUNDED BY OTHER CRABS FOR WHICH KNOWING YOU IS THE HIGH POINT OF THEIR EXISTENCE, THE BEST THEY WILL EVER BE, THEY WILL TELL YOUR STORY LONG INTO THEIR BANAL OLD AGE. SO YOUR NO 1 JOB IS ALWAYS THE SAME FOR FOLKS LIKE YOU = GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BUCKET. If that means you have to chop some of the other crabs back down to size then so be it, see it for what it is, see why you are where you are, see what that slop bucket has done to you by seeing what it has done to your reputation – ITS YOU OR THEM. YES, EVOLUTION IS COMPETATIVE, it is not for ‘nice people’, AS NICE PEOPLE BURN, so its a good job you are not that nice, eh – WE KNOW YOU HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE MULTIPLE TIMES, TO BE YOUR ‘CREATIVE SELF’ OVER AND OVER AGAIN, but the real reason you have failed is the OTHER CRABS, who cannot face your success as an illustration of their own failure. So never feel bad about DOING WHAT IS REQUIRED TO ESCAPE, their fate is not yours, and if you allow it to become YOU then it is your own fault…

In the words of that immortal movie line, PARAPHRASED – ‘PRESSURE IS WHAT MATTERS FOR ANIMALS – PRESSURE CHANGES EVERYTHING’, YOUR OPINIONS, YOUR REACTIONS, YOUR EMOTIONS, YOUR CAPABILITIES, ‘YOUR FOCUS’, CAUSE IT BEATS ‘THE NOISE’ OUT OF YOU. Right now as a Gifted Empath the only TIME YOU FEEL PRESSURE IS YOUR MANIA, HENCE WHY YOU ALWAYS ACT ON IT, BUT without that pressure YOU JUST DRIFT, just sit and wait for that pressure again. Pressure is the only access you have to your ENERGY RESERVES, to your ANIMAL ABILITY ‘TO DO’…

So the question for you lot is simply – CAN YOU USE THE PRESSURE I HAVE JUST APPLIED TO YOU AGAINST THE PRESSURE OF YOUR MANIA, AND AGAINST THE NON-PRESSURE OF YOU MENTAL PARALYSIS, YOUR HABIT OF EXPLAINING EVERYTHING AWAY? See without pressure you are fucking useless, are you not, a total parasitic waste of my time, which is why you have to PROVE YOU WANT TO CHANGE, AND NOT JUST TO ME, TOO YOURSELF BY GENERATING THE PRESSURE TO CHANGE BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN FUCKING START – can you make the most of what I HAVE DONE FOR YOU TODAY and ‘TRY’. See once you have NORMALIZED ‘THE DOG-IN-THE-MANAGER’ ATTITUDE OF PETTY EVIL, the beginning of all OBSSESSIVE EVIL, so well know its actually in the bloody bible, then you are going to need to REALLY TRY… 

So read on and feel ‘THAT PRESSURE’ OF ‘YOUR ALREADY VERY PUBLIC FATE‘, pressing down on your uselessness, see if that helps ya GET OUT OF YOUR BUCKET, ya lazy bitch. MUCH AS IT DID NOT WORK FOR THIS ONE, her lifestory may yet serve ‘YOUR PURPOSE’, as your ‘hiding skills’ are really not up to very much, are they, all a bit of a fantasy gone wrong now, eh… Or HAVE YOU ALREADY ‘FADED TO GREY’, reduced to HECKLING FROM THE SAFTEY OF THE SIDELINES, just one more anonymous stereotype of your kind WALKING THE SAME BANAL PATH as thousands of others – DO YOU STILL HAVE SOME OF THE CLASS YOU WERE BORN WITH LEFT, cause that is THE BOTTLE YOU NEED TO SAVE YOU from becoming ONE MORE HATED LITTLE PARASITE, lost in your own secret cleverness while you pray for YOUR MANIA to return to give you some momentary relief from your ugliness…

NOW… should all of this still bounce off you ONCE AGAIN? IF YOU STILL FEEL LIKE ‘A SECRET BADDIE’, then keep an eye out in the story below for the one true little pearl of wisdom she said at the HER end, about being a baddie at AN X GAMES LEVEL – ALL INADEQUATE CUNTS ‘HAVE’ TO THINK THEY ARE BADDIES TO SURVIVE, otherwise they have would have to face all their own mistakes as the total humiliations they were – YOU WERE WRONG – knowing it was all their fault, the whole time. See, you are not the baddie – you have to think you are a baddie to make what is otherwise totally disgusting in some way ‘cool’. See NOBODY CAN EVER ADMIT THEY ARE A CREEPY PARASITE OUTSIDE OF A MENTAL HOSPITAL, and even then they usually go for some shit like ‘MISS-UNDERSTOOD EVIL GENIUS TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE FROM THEMSELVES BY DESTROYING THEM AS PUNISHMENT FOR NOT LIKING YOU’, or, and more likely, the ‘Son of Sam’ (look it up).

AND HOW PATHETIC IS THAT, eh, BUT DON’T WORRY, SEE FOLKS LIKE YOUR TYPE ARE THE WHOLE REASON I HAVE INCLUDED THIS LITTLE SECTION ‘AGAINST ADVICE’, BECAUSE THERE IS ‘A CURE’ – IF YOU CAN SIT QUIETLY AND COME TO TERMS with THE TRUTH THAT YOU ARE SIMPLY COMFORTING THE CONSCIENCE LEVEL ‘SHAME’ OF AN EMPATH, with the TANTRIC LEVEL ‘MANIC FANTASY’ OF AN EMPATH, then YOU CAN CHANGE ‘IN THE MOMENT’ OF THAT REALIZATION. If you can’t, then you will have to wait until the end, WHEN ITS FORCED ON YOU, like the lady in the story below – they are your only options, and frankly without this help TODAY, there is only ONE OPTION AT THE END, as you will be a PARASITE BY THEN.

‘Ok’, you snigger, ‘but given I cannot stand against my Mania, at all, ever, and all this waiting for me to get old has just made me WORSE, what the fuck CAN I EVER DO – I’M DOOMED TO GO THROUGH THIS CYCLE OF SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, I HAVE TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT OR GO MAD!’. To which I reply ‘no you don’t – its tough but you have to SEE WHAT THE PRESSURE OF YOUR MANIA ‘IS’ IN THE MOMENT OF ITS EXPERIENCE. If you can do that, you can escape, indeed you can do Tantra correctly also, so you need to understand this SENTENCE CORRECTLY – ‘YOU DON’T WANT WHAT YOU WANT IN THE MOMENT OF WANTING IT’. See much as this can only really be done as a real dialogue, for many of you this sanitized, staged one is going to have to do, otherwise you can NEVER let go of the ‘comfort of your mania’, so YOU WILL BECOME A ‘MANIC DEPRESSIVE’, SLOWLY BUT SURELY. If you don’t know what that means yet LOOK IT UP – SCARE YOURSELF WITH OWN YOUR FUTURE.

Now you say – ‘(yawn) Sure, I get I don’t want my mania as a Desire AFTER I HAVE DONE IT, and I really don’t want the results of my mania, BUT AT THE TIME I REALLY, REALLY WANT IT, INDEED I WANT NOTHING ELSE – THE PRESSURE IS OVERWHELMMING’. So open your mind and GET THIS AS QUICK AS YOU CAN – YOU MUST MAKE THIS LEAP MENTALLY IN YOUR MIND, SO I AM GOING TO USE MY OWN EXPEREINCE AND GENIUS AT THIS STUFF TO MAKE IT VERY VERY SIMPLE TO SEE, THEN IT IS UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT TO BELIEVE IT OR NOT, and so START OR NOT: 

I SAY – ‘NO – YOU DON’T WANT WHAT YOU WANT AT THE TIME EITHER, NOT JUST AFTERWARDS – IT IS A REACTION, SO IT IS A PHANTOM DESIRE, IT IS NOT REAL, WHICH IS WHY IT COMES WITH ‘A CRUSHING SENSE OF URGENCY, AS THE FEELING OF FAKE DESIRE CANNOT BE MAINTAINED IN TIME, IT WILL PASS. A REAL DESIRE DOES NOT PASS, MUCH AS YOU CAN SUPPRESS THEM THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE, EVEN AFTER YOU HAVE ACTED THEM OUT, BECAUSE THEY HAVE A CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONAL COMPONENT THAT IS HUGE, LONG AND SLOW LIKE ‘A WAVE’ – REAL DESIRES ARE ALWAYS FOR YOUR BENEFIT, BUT YOU OFTEN BECOME VERY SCARED OF THEM, SCARED OF WHAT THEY MEAN, SO SHY AWAY FROM THEM AND DISTRACT YOURSELF.’

SO WHAT THE FUCK IS ‘A PHANTOM DESIRE’ THEN MATE, AS IT FEELS FUCKING REAL TO ME!’ YES, IT DOES FEEL REAL AND URGENT BUT IT IS ALSO ‘CIRCUMSTANTIAL’ IT IS A CREATION OF WHERE YOU ARE AND YOUR STATE OF AGGITATION, IF YOU WHERE ELSEWHERE, WITH OTHER PEOPLE YOUR DESIRE WOULD BE DIFFERENT. SO YOUR DESIRE FOR SOMETHING IS NOT ACTUALLY CAUSED BY THE SOMETHING, IT IS CAUSED BY YOUR NEED FOR RELIEF FROM THE PRESSURE OF ‘DESIRE ITSELF’, IT DOES NOT MATTER TO THE MANIC EMPATH HOW THEY DO IT, WHICH IS WHY PARASITES CAN MANIPULATE SO EASILY BY CREATING THE CIRCUMSTANCES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT FROM YOU.

EASY SO FAR..? THE MANIC DESIRE IS A MOMENTARY EMOTIONAL OVERLAY CREATED TO FIT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE, BUT IS ACTUALLY CAUSED BY YOUR NEED FOR RELIEF FROM DESIRE AS A PRESSURE YOU HAVE TO VENT, WHICH IS IN TURN CAUSED BY ANXIETY/STRESS, JUST AMPLIFIED A THOUSAND TIMES OR MORE BY THE SENSITIVITIES OF AN EMPATH.

SO YOU SAY ‘YEAH, I KNOW THAT FOLLOWS LOGICALLY, I SEEM TO REMEMBER MY CHILDHOOD PHYSCHIATRIST SAYING SOMETHING SIMILAR BEFORE HE GAVE ME THE MAGIC PILLS TO HELP, BUT HAVE TO TELL YA – AT THE TIME I LOVE IT, I WANT IT, CHASE IT, ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF MY LIFE – EVERYTHING THAT KILLS ME MAKES ME WANT TO FLY!’. TO WHICH I REPLY ‘(YAWN) I KNOW, BUT THAT AIN’T THE POINT, SEE THOSE MAGIC PILLS HE GAVE YOU DON’T SATISFY ANY DESIRE, DON’T EVEN STOP YOU WANTING THOSE SAME TYPE OF THINGS REALLY, THEY JUST TURN DOWN THE PRESSURE OF YOUR MANIA, WHICH IN TURNS TURNS DOWN YOUR CHILDS ABILITY TO MAINTAIN ANY LEVEL OF MANIC DESIRE IN TIME – THEY PASS VERY QUICKLY BECAUSE YOU ARE SEDATED, YOUR EMOTIONS ARE MUCH SOFTER AND LESS URGENT, SO EVERYTHING LOOKS DIFFERENT TO MANIC DESPRESIVE WHEN ITS EMOTIONAL COMPONENT IS WEAKED OR REMOVED’.

GET IT NOW? PHANTOM DESIRES ARE NOT REAL, THEY ARE ‘MOMENTARY MENTAL CREATIONS’. GREAT, BUT THAT IS THE EASY BIT…

‘OK’, YOU MUTTER, ‘BUT NONE OF THIS HELPS ME AT THE TIME UNLESS I AM PREPARED TO WALK AROUND IN AN EXHAUSTED DRUG INDUCED HAZE!’ SO HERE LIES THE THE CLEVER BIT – THE PENNY MUST DROP – SEE MANY HIGHLY GIFTED EMPATHS ALREADY KNOW IN CHILDHOOD THAT THEIR MANIA IS A ‘DRUG’ THEY ‘SELF CREATE’, INDEED THEY EVEN KNOW THAT THEY CREATE THE STRESS IN ORDER TO ENJOY THAT DRUG MORE, WHICH IS WHAT LEADS TO THE TRULY HORRIBLE LIFE DESTROYING CURSE OF EATING THEIR OWN SHAME. WITH ADDED SHAME MANIA IS A DRAMATIC EXPLOSION OF FEELING THAT CANNOT BE GOT ANYWHERE ELSE, BUT LEADS NOT ONLY TO RAPID ONSET MANIC DEPRESSION BUT MUCH, MUCH WORSE THINGS THAN THAT – THINGS THAT CAN’T BE TREATED WITH PILLS, THINGS THAT THEY WILL EVENTUALLY PUT YOU IN PRISON FOR, EVIL THINGS.  

TO WHICH YOU REPLY ‘(NERVOUS SHRUG) SURE, YOU’RE CLEVER, BUT HONESTLY I DON’T EVEN REALLY FEEL MY CONSCIENCE AFTERWARDS ANYMORE, I’VE GOT AWAY WITH IT FOR SO LONG THAT EVEN ‘THE FEAR AND SELF LOATHING’ PHASE IS PRETTY SHORT, I KNOW I GOT MY HIT AND NOW I’M HAPPY, BETTER THAN INJECTING HEROIN BETWEEN MY TOES EH – I START LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT TIME, THAT IS HOW I KNOW I’M SO MUCH WORSE THAN I USED TO BE, YET NONE OF THIS OR WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS MAKES BE BETTER, HONESTLY IT MAKES ME WORSE, ‘TIME’ HAS MADE ME WORSE, IT IS MORE URGENT NOW – WHY?’.

I SAY ‘AHHHHHH….. FINALLY YOU FIND THE GUTS TO MAKES SOME SENSE AND STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR ‘POOR MENTAL HEALTH’ – YOU LOVE IT, AND YOU ARE GOING TO KICK IT TO DEATH UNTIL YOU DIE – NICE ONE – ‘YOU PASSED’. SO NOW IT IS ACTUALLY WORTH ME TELLING YOU ‘THE CLEVER BIT’:

FIRST BE VERY CLEAR – MANIA IS AN ASPECT OF YOUR EXISTING SPIRITUAL LEVELS IN EMPATHS.

AS A GIFTED EMPATH YOUR SPIRITUALITY IS FORCED ON YOU SINCE CHILDHOOD, AND EVEN NOW YOUR LIFE IS DOMINATED BY IT, BUT NOT BY BEING IT, DEVELOPING IT, BUT BY ‘KILLING IT’.

SEE YOU ARE NOT CHASING MANIC DESIRES OF THE MOMENT FOR FUN, THAT IS JUST A ‘LOCAL ILLUSION’ OF YOUR ENEMY, ONE OF MANY, USED BY YOUR CONDITIONING TO DESTROY YOUR CONSCIENCE BY EATING IT.

SEE IT NOW – THE POINT OF YOUR MANIA IS TO DESTROY YOUR CONSCIENCE, CAUSE YOU HATE IT!

AND THE POWER OF YOUR MANIA IS A REACTION TO THE POWER OF YOUR CONSCIENCE.

SO YOU ARE ‘ANTI-SPIRITUAL’ AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL BECAUSE YOU CONSCIOUSLY DECIDED TO HATE YOURSELF IN EARLY ADULTHOOD BECUASE YOUR ‘CHILD’ MADE YOU FEEL BAD, INADEQUATE COMPARED TO THE ANIMALS AROUND YOU – SO YOU HAVE CONDITIONED YOURSELF TO ‘TRY AND BE COOL’ LIKE THEM INSTEAD AS JOB 1, TO FEEL BETTER!

BUT YOUR CONSCIENCE IS YOU, SO ONCE YOU CONSCIENCE IS TOTALLY GONE YOU GO MAD, AND THAT IS WHEN YOU BECOME ‘EVIL AS AN ANIMAL’, WHICH MEANS VISCERAL EVIL AS A SENSATION, EG ‘TO ENJOY THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS’, THAT IS WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THAT IS WHEN YOUR MANIA WILL DISAPPEAR, AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED. ITS ALL A LIE – YOU ENGAGE IN A ‘FANTASY YOU DON’T WANT’ IN ORDER TO DO SOMETHING YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IN ORDER TO STOP YOUR NATURAL PROCESS OF DEVELOPMENT – YOU SELF HATRED IS OBVIOUS TO ALL BUT YOU THINK IT FEELS SO GOOD THAT YOU DON’T CARE, YOU’LL STOP WHEN YOU ARE OLDER, MAYBE BUT YOU NEVER STOP – IT GETS WORSE.

THEN YOU SAY ‘JESUS… BUT HONESTLY, EVEN THOUGH THAT HITS RIGHT NOW, I KNOW I WON’T CARE TOMORROW, SO YOUR CLEVER BIT IS WASTED ON ME, MAYBE ITS JUST THE WAY I AM, ITS NOT WORKED, INDEED ALL OF THIS HAS JUST TRIGGERED ANOTHER MANIC FANTASY RIGHT NOW – I GUESS ‘MY CHILD’ SENSED THIS MIGHT HELP ME STOP AND JUST KICKED OFF STRAIGHT AWAY – YOU ARE RIGHT! BUT WOW WHAT A FEELING FOR FREE, I NEED MORE OF THIS! ‘CORRECT’ I SAY, ‘YOU ARE EATING YOUR SHAME, RIGHT NOW IN ORDER TO STOP YOURSELF BEING HELPED, A TRULY AWFUL THING TO SEE. BUT NO MATTER, THIS IS WHAT I EXPECTED AS THIS WAS THE POINT OF THIS DIALOGUE, TO GET YOU TO THIS POINT OF TOTAL UNDERSTANDING OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE YOU NOW UNDERSTAND ‘YOUR MANIA IS NOT REAL’ IT IS ‘YOUR CHILDS NO1 DEFENSE MECHANSIM TO STOP YOU BEING YOU, AND THE GREATER THAT MANIA THE GREATER YOU COULD BE, WOULD BE, SHOULD BE WITHOUT THAT ‘SELF DESTRUCTIVE’ MANIA,WITH ‘CONSTRUCTIVE MANIA’ INSTEAD‘ –

YOU CHOSEN MANIA AS YOUR SPIRITUAL PATH, BUT YOUR CHILD HAS PERVERTED IT AGAINST YOU.

BE VERY CLEAR – WHAT YOU ENJOY IN THAT MANIA IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING BECAUSE THE ENJOYMENT IS NOT HAPPENING, SOMETHING ELSE IS HAPPENING THAT IS DRESSED UP TO FEEL GOOD, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ‘A FORM OF PAIN’ DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU FORGET YOURSELF AND ‘BUY IT INSTEAD’. SEE ALL MANIA IS DESIGNED TO CONVINCE YOU THAT SELF DESTRUCTION IS ‘BETTER’, SO IT IS A ‘TEMPORARY REWARD’ YOU IMAGINE BASED ON PASSED EXPEREINCE – YOU HAVE BECOME ONE OF ‘PAVLOVS DOGS’, YOU SALIVATE WITH EXCITEMENT AT THE SOUND OF DINNER TIME, EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NO DINNER IN SIGHT – IT IS JUST YOUR ‘CONDITIOINING TO THE SOUND OF A BELL, LIKE ANIMAL’. THIS IS’ANTICIPATION OF REWARD AS A PROCESS OF REWARD’ = AN ILLUSION, AS YOU NEVER, EVER GET ANY REWARD AT ALL, BUT YOU THINK YOU DO ‘IN YOUR HEAD’, LIKE A TWAT.   

SO LET THE PENNY DROP –

YOUR MANIA DOES NOT FEEL GOOD AT THE TIME, EVEN VENTING YOUR MANIA DOES NOT FEEL GOOD, HOW YOUR MANIA FEELS IS ONLY EXPEREINCED AFTER YOUR MANIA HAS PASSED, ONLY THEN DO YOU FEEL THE TRUTH OF IT IN ‘RETROSPECT’, WHEN YOUR CONSCEINCE SHOWS YOU.

BUT THAT RETROSPECTIVE FEELING IS HIDDEN FROM ‘IN THE NOW’ BY ‘AN ORCHESTRATED FANTASY’ BASED ON ANTICIPATION OF THE ‘AFTERGLOW’, INDEED MANY COME TO REALIZE THEY ‘DISLIKE THE PROCESS OF MANIA’ IN REALTIME BUT PUSH THROUGH ANYWAY TO GET TO THIS GLOW.

SEE THAT AFTERGLOW IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT, NOT THE GRUBBY LITTLE RANDOM AND FORGETABLE PROCESS OF GETTING THERE, AS THAT GLOW IS YOUR ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’, THAT GOAL OUTWIEGHS THE PAIN OF THE PROCESS – YOU DON’T CARE, LOVE THE SOLVENT FOR ALL BAD FEELING, OR SO YOU THINK!

BUT THAT GOAL IS A FAKE VERSION OF THE REAL THING – TANTRA – WHICH YOU DON’T VENT AND INSTEAD LET BUILD AND BUILD UNTIL THAT AFTERGLOW AND MUCH ELSE BESIDES BECOMES PERMANENT, POWERFUL, ‘SUPERIOR’ – ITS FAST BUT BRUTAL, AND ALL MEN HATE IT, EVEN THE GOD WARROIRS!

BUT YOU DON’T GET THAT, YOU GET THE FAKE VERSION THAT GETS LESS AND LESS, SO YOU GET MORE AND MORE EXTREME, FOR LESS AND LESS EFFECT FROM MORE AND MORE GRUBBY PROCESS, UNTIL ONE DAY YOU WAKE UP AND YOUR GONE – YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS EXPEREINCED AS A ECHO, CAUSE THERE IS NO REFLECTION…

SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS SELF HARMING, LIKE A DEPRESSED KID SLASHING ITS ARMS WITH A RAZOR BLADE, IN ORDER TO RELIEVE ANXIETY, BUT THAT IS COVERED OVER BY AN OPERATIC LEVEL EMOTIONAL FANTASY, AN ILLUSION THAT FAKES IT FEELING GOOD.

IN REALITY YOU ARE IN PAIN, AND YOU ARE USING MORE PAIN TO RELIEVE THAT PAIN.

IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD, EVEN IN THE MOMENT – YOU ARE DELUDED. 

SO HAS THE PENNY DROPPED YET? 

YOU ARE YOUR CHOICES, YOUR QUALITY = YOUR CLASS OR YOUR DELUSIONS.

DOES NOT MATTER WHY YOU MADE THEM, HOW UNCONSCIOUS THEY WHERE, HOW JUSTIFIED IN THE MOMENT. 

IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW AMAZING YOU ARE, IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE POND LIFE TO COMFORT YOURSELF, 

IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT ALL THESE EXTREMES THAT YOUR CHILD HAS GONE TO TRAP YOU MEANS YOU ARE, 

YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO – YOU ARE THE ANTI-YOU, WHO ONLY SEEKS YOUR DESTRUCTION…

SEE WHEN THE PENNY DROPS IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS:

TRY AND ‘REMEMBER YOURSELF OVER YOUR LIFETIME’, NOT JUST NOW, REMEMBER WHAT YOU ONCE WERE AGAINST WHAT YOU ARE NOW.

SEE WE KNOW YOU HAVE MADE THESE CHOICES FOR A REASON – TO FORGET YOURSELF, TO BE HAPPY, TO BE LIKED, TO BE NORMAL.

WE KNOW THAT AS A ‘HIGH FUNCTIONING EMPATH’ IS TO BE AN OVER SENSITIVE CURSE, A STRANGE WITCHY THING, AWKWARD, DISLIKED.

WE KNOW YOU KNEW YOU WERE DIFFERENT ONCE, A BIT ODD, OUT OF PLACE, OUT OF TIME, OUT OF STEP WITH EVERYONE ELSE, UNCOMFORTUABLE.

SO YOU CHOSE THIS INSTEAD, INSTEAD OF BEING WHO YOU WERE BORN AS, TO ABUSE YOUR SPIRIT IN ORDER TO ‘FIT IN’, BE COMFORTUABLE.

BUT WE HAVE NO INTEREST IN THIS BLAND STEREOTYPICAL MESS, WE ONLY CARE ABOUT THE OVER SENSITIVE, HIGH FUNCTIONING WITCH.

QUESTION IS CAN YOU EVEN REMEMBER THAT CREATURE, FROM LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY, DOES SHE STILL WHISPER TO YA IN THE NIGHT?

I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS A LONG A TIME AGO, MADE ALL THOSE SAME UNSCHOOLED POOR CHOICES AS A KID, CHOSE TO FORGET MYSELF, AND IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO FIGHT MY WAY OUT OF THAT, EVEN NOW THE ECHO OF IT REMAINS IN MY LIFE. BUT THE WORSE PART IS TO KNOW THAT TIME MUST PASS FOR THIS EMPATH TYPE, AS IT DID FOR ME, BEFORE THAT SWEET SPOT OF LIFE EXPEREINCE VS ENERGY WEAKNESS COMBINED WITH VERY GOOD ADVICE IS REACHED, AND THAT SAME OPPORTUNITTY APPEARS IN YOUR LIFE. JUST KNOW THE TARGET ON YOUR BACK WILL NEVER GO AWAY UNTIL YOU DO, RIGHT NOW YOU JUST MADE IT EASIER TO DEAL WITH, TO MAKE IT A ROUTINE YOU CAN COPE WITH, WHILST IT GETS SLOWLY WORSE…

SEE I WAS LUCKY, I WAS NOT LIKE YOU MODERN PEOPLE, I LIVED MY MANIA EVERY DAMN DAY, CONSTRUCTED IT ON PURPOSE TO BE MY BEST FRIEND, TO PROTECT ME FROM THAT TARGET ON MY BACK, SO I KNEW IT WAS A BIG DEAL, I WAS CONSCIOUS OF IT ALWAYS. BUT YOU ARE NOT, YOUR MANIA IS MOST LIKELY BOXED OFF AND HIDDEN AWAY IN SOME LITTLE WORLD CALLED ‘SECRET LIFE’, THAT YOU ONLY TAKE OUT AND FEED UNDER YOUR OWN CONTROL, WHENEVER YOU FEEL THE NEED OR THE ‘MOMENT ARISES’, SO YOU NEVER THINK ITS THATS ‘BIGGER DEAL’, SO NEVER BREAKS THROUGH INTO YOUR CONSCIOUS AND SHOWS ITSELF FOR REAL. BUT THE TARGET ON YOUR BACK DOES, CAUSE IN TIME ALL OF YOU COME TO SEE THAT BITCH… 

BUT THE QUESTION REMAINS – DO YOU FEEL THAT PRESSURE NOW? CAN YOU FEEL THE PRESSURE OF ‘YOUR FUTURE’ IN THE NOW AND USE THAT TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU ONCE WERE WHEN YOU WERE YOURSELF, HOWEVER UNSCHOOLED? EVEN MORE CAN YOU BRING YOUR FUTURE SELF INTO THE ROOM AND LOOK AT THE REPULSIVE CUNT?  Hope so, or the last thousand words of mine were a total waste of time – CAN YOU ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME, even though their is no blame from anyone who knows better – IT WAS JUST PART OF YOUR PERSONAL JOURNEY TO GET YOU HERE?

BEFORE YOU READ THIS STORY KNOW, YES, YOU MAY HATE THE WAY I HAVE WRITTEN THE ABOVE BUT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS – IN ALL TRUTH SHAME DONT WORK ON EMPATHS AT THE START FOR OBVIOUS REASONS (IT MAKES YOU WORSE), WHICH IS WHY YOU ONLY EVER GET THAT TEST ONCE, AND THEN A PERSONAL WAY MUST BE FOUND FOR YOUR SPECIFIC TYPE WHILST YOU ARE MANAGED MUCH MORE KINDLY THAN YOU DESERVE FROM A GREAT DISTANCE AND GIVEN ‘AN AWFUL LOT OF SPACE’. BUT IT MAY HELP TO READ JUNGS STUFF IF YOU HATE MINE – HE WAS OBSSESSED WITH THIS ‘TYPE OF PERSONALITY’ BECAUSE HE HAD OBVIOUSLY SEEN IT A LOT, AND EVEN THOUGH HIS STUFF IS NO LESS DARK THAN MINE, NOT EVEN ANY LESS SPIRITUAL, IT IS IN A DIFFERENT, OLDER MORE PHYCOLOGICAL LANGUAGE STYLE, A PERSPECTIVE YOU MAY PREFER, NOT SOFTER JUST MORE MORAL IN THE CLASS SYSTEMS OF OLD TYPE WAY, FOR THE WELL READ AMONGST YOU. 

Good luck anyway, just remember as you READ THE FOLLOWING you are just ONE MORE crab stuck in ONE MORE tiny little bucket, full of ONE MORE little shitshow of crabs, and some of those other crabs are PARASITES, just hopefully not you, eh… not yet. Remember you are ‘A STEREOTYPE OF YOUR KIND’, not an individual, not a person, so you have made ‘no choices’, and you have ‘no commitments’, AS YOU ONLY HAVE ‘THE FEAR OF A BIG KID’ TO GUIDE YOU – you have just ‘done what your unschooled type does’, before YOU knew better, like thousands of others before and after you have. You have ‘SLEEP WALKED’ INTO THIS MESS, so can you get out of it now, BY MOTIVATING YOURSELF TO GET OUT OF IT, NOW YOU ‘KNOW BETTER’ – that is the question…  )

First, read what her ex-husband said, much as he died of ass cancer a few years later its hugely para-phrased as her children are still alive, but I’m sure you will get the message. Like so many ‘safetymen’ he was of course secretly gay, which is why it suited him to cope with her obsessional ‘Love is the answer’ life strategy of ‘sex n drugs n rock’n roll’ for so long and so bring the life disaster of an END STAGE Parasite on himself and the kids. In reality its ‘childs play’ to destroy them – even if you are not jealous, even if you find the cover story of that relationship useful, even if you are only slightly less of a coke head than she is, it always comes down to ‘you’ or ‘them’ AT THE END, so its always as well to let them know that it will be ‘you’ who walks away. See when they fade into the banal dramas of the menopause and the fragility of old age a ‘little slap of reality’ is often enough to break their ‘over-confidence’, as even that momentary threat to their stable ‘co-dependance’ will scare the ‘clever shit’ out of them, just watch out for the ‘victim story’, as she may well already be telling her creepy chat groups those fake stories about you for insurance:

He said, ‘I COULD COPE WITH MUCH OF IT, BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT THE CHILDREN WERE NOT MINE, THAT SHE STARTED TURNING TRICKS FOR DRUG CASH AFTER SHE LOST HER JOB I LOST IT – THE HUMILIATION OF BEING LIED TO OVER AND OVER, SO I TOLD HER TO GO OR I’D GO TO THE LAW. THEN SHE BLACKMAILED ME, MADE UP STORIES, WENT TO THE LAW TO SAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO THE CHILDREN, ALL KINDS OF LIES, BUT THANK GOD SOME GUY AT MY WORK SHE FUCKED AT AN XMAS PARTY THOUGHT SHE WAS AN EVIL CUNT, HE HAD SOME VIDEOS OF HER, ONES WHERE SHE TALKED ABOUT THE KIDS, SHOWED PICTURES AND STUFF SO THAT WAS ENOUGH TO NAIL HER LIES. THEN SHE TRIED TO KILL ME IN MY SLEEP, AND IT WAS ONLY THEN I KNEW THAT I COULD NOT SAVE HER. SO FUNNY TO SAY IT ALOUD, BUT IT WAS NOT UNTIL THEN THAT I DECIDED TO DESTROY HER AND SAVE MYSELF AND MY KIDS. SO I POISONED HER, AND MUCH AS IT DID NOT KILL THE BITCH SHE DID SEEM TO GET THE MESSAGE.

I KNOW YOU MET HER AGAIN TOWARD THE END, DID YOU HELP HER THEN? SHE SEEMED TO WANT TO MAKE AMENDS BUT IT WAS NOT WORTH THE RISK FOR ME AND KIDS HATED HER ANYWAY. SHE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT HATING WHAT SHE COULD NOT HAVE WAY, SAID YOU WERE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HELPED HER, BUT SHE NEVER EXPLAINED WHY OR WHAT ELSE HAPPENED’.

To which I replied ‘NO, I DID NOT HELP HER – THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT WORTH HELPING, SHE BECAME A PARASITE, ALL ELSE IS SIMPLY ‘NOSTALGIA’ FOR WHAT MIGHT OF BEEN. I MET HER JUST TO HEAR THE STORY, SO I COULD USE IT LATER TO HELP OTHER FOLKS WORTH HELPING, SHE WAS A WRITE OFF, SHE DESERVED WHAT HAPPENED TO HER, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, INDEED YOU SHOULD OF DONE IT WAY, WAY EARLIER. WHAT SHE BECAME WAS NOT HER FAULT BUT IT WAS HER PROBLEM AND SHE WAS TOO STUPID TO SEE THAT AND CHANGE – END OF STORY. SEE YOU STILL THINK SPIRITUALITY IS CHRISTIAN SO ‘I’M GOOD’, THAT EVERYONE IS HELPED, BUT THAT IS ALL A LIE, IT IS ALL ABOUT THE RANK YOU WERE BORN WITH, AND IF YOU WASTE THAT RANK ON COMFORT FOR AN EASY LIFE THEN IT KILLS YOU. ITS CALLED EVOLUTION, IT IS NOT RELIEF FOR THE MENTALLY ILL, IT IS A PATH YOU CHOOSE TO WALK, TO CHANGE, TO ADAPT, TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’. AND SHE NEVER LOVED ME, SHE LOVED THE FEELING BEING AROUND ME GAVE HER, SHE WAS A PARASITE, AGAIN – SHE MADE HER CHOICE AND THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED – ALL SPIRITUALITY IS RUTHLESS BECAUSE THAT IS HOW IT WORKS IN REALITY, THAT IS THE POINT OF IT AT THE START.

TRY AND UNDERSTAND, I’M GLAD SHE IS DEAD, SHE WAS IN PAIN SO HER SUFFERING ENDED, AND THAT IS THE END FOR US ALL – ALL PARASITES DIE HARD AND BROKEN, THAT IS THE PRICE FOR IT, THAT IS THE MEANING OF IT, THAT IS WHY I AM NOT ONE, THAT I CHOOSE MY LIFE INSTEAD OF THAT. ITS HARD TO UNDERSTAND FOR MANY THAT WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THOSE WHO FAIL – YOU WILL FAIL ANYWAY WITHOUT HELP – WE ONLY SEE THE WINS, SO WE MOVE ON FAST AND HARD. ITS CALLED THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST IN YOUR WORLD, IN OUR WORLD ITS CALL ‘SELF-DEVELOPMENT’, THAT IS WHAT ALL SPIRITUALITY IS, AND ITS ALL I OR ANYONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY DO IT GIVES A FUCK ABOUT. SHE COULD NOT DO IT, SHE WAS TOO SLOW, TOO PERVERTED, AND TOO GUTLESS, SO SHE BURNT – SO SHE ENDED THE WAY SHE ALWAYS KNEW SHE WOULD, SHE KNEW BETTER BUT SHE COULD NOT CHANGE, SO HER ENERGY RAN OUT AND HER LIFE ATE HER UP WHOLE.

NOW SHE IS IN AN UNMARKED GRAVE, LOST AND FORGOTTEN, AND EVERYONE WHO KNEW HER IS GLAD, IS HAPPY SHE IS DEAD, BECAUSE SHE CURSED EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY SHE TOUCHED. IF SHE HAD REALIZED SHE HAD BECOME A MONSTER EARLIER SHE COULD OF GROWN UP IN TIME, BUT SHE DIDN’T, AND WHEN SHE COULD NOT ADMIT THAT EVEN IN THE END SO I JUST SAID A FEW NICE WORDS TO HER AND LEFT – IT WAS A WASTE OF MY TIME AND ENERGY TO LISTEN TO HER EXCUSES BECAUSE SHE HAD CHOSEN TO FORGET HERSELF, SHE HAD CHOSEN OBLIVION CAUSE SHE WAS A COWARD. FOR YOU AND THE KIDS ITS A SHAME YOU DID NOT MANAGE TO KILL HER EARLIER, IT WOULD OF BEEN BETTER FOR EVERYONE, INCLUDING HER – SHE GOT WORSE BECAUSE SHE WAS ALLOWED TO GET WORSE, SHE CURSED MANY OTHERS IN THAT TIME, SO KNOW SOME OF THIS IS ON YOU – YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM, YOU ARE SIMPLY TOO WEAK TO DEFEND YOURSELF. ULTIMATELY ITS NO ONES FAULT, EVEN HERS, BUT THAT DOES NOT MATTER MORALLY, WHAT MATTERS IS YOU MAKE A CHOICE AND YOU STICK TO IT – TO DEFEND YOURSELF, AS YOUR SACRIFICE IS FOOLS ERRAND.’

So read on, and listen to what a ‘REPENTANT PARASITE’ sounds like, WHILST TAKING NOTE OF THE FACT THAT THEY CAN NEVER ADMIT TO IT – THEY CAN NEVER REMEMBER THE WORST OF WHAT THEY HAD DONE, THEY ALL HAVE TO JUSTIFY IT SOME HOW TO SURVIVE IT – A LIFE OF DELUSION: FOR ALL THE PETTY JUSTIFICATIONS FOR FAILURE THERE IS MUCH WISDOM IN IT, PARTICUARLY THE MODERN SOCIAL COMMENTARY, which has become the key reason so many of you can never, ever grow up – YOU BELEIVE YOUR SOCIETY OF CHILDREN IS ‘GOOD’, instead of a ‘FARM’ FOR DEPENDENT, ‘CHILDISH COWS’.    

‘Overall the main problem for me was that I had SIDED WITH MY ENEMY IN MY TEENS AND IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO ‘SEE THAT IN MYSELF’, TO SEE ALL OF THIS WAS A FORM OF ‘REVENGE ON MYSELF’ FOR MAKING ME FEEL BAD AS A KID. TO ME IT WAS CLEVER, IT WAS RIGHT, IT WAS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DID, SO I REPRESSED MY NATURAL QUALITY TO BE LIKE THIS INSTEAD – I WANTED TO BE LIKE THIS SO BAD I USED TO PRACTISE BY MYSELF, TO MAKE SURE I WAS EVEN MORE FUCKING STUPID IN THE MOMENT AS ‘A FORM OF WINNING’, BUT IT WAS ALL TOTALLY FAKE – I DID NOT WANT ANY OF IT…

SO I WAS SLY, CUNNING, MANIPULATIVE, CONTROLLING, DECEITFUL AS THAT WAS WHAT ‘COOL’ WAS TO ME AS A GOOD THING, BLISSFULLY UNAWARE THAT IS WAS OBVIOUS, TRANSPARENT, NASTY, CRAVEN, WEAK, DEPENDENT, AND EVERYONE COULD SEE IT, SO EVERYONE USED ME FOR FUN, AS ITS FUN TO HUMILIATE SOMEONE WHO IS ‘BAD’, WHO IS A LAZY, STUPID, DISLOYAL CUNT WITH NO VALUE – A DESPERATE BITCH WHO EVERYONE HATES SO THEY DON’T NEED TREAT ME WELL, LOOK AFTER ME, AS I DON’T WANT THAT, I JUST WANT RELIEF FROM ME THE CHILD, SO IT BECAME NORMAL, YET EVERYONE KNEW I WAS FAKING THIS OR THAT DRAMA ALL THE TIME JUST FOR ‘LIKES’ IN THE MOMENT – I HAD NO RESPECT, SO NO ONE RESPECTED ME.

THAT HUMILIATION BECAME MY UTILITY, IT BECAME THE POINT OF MY LIFE, WHY PEOPLE ‘LIKED ME’, WHY THEY WHERE FRIENDS WITH ME, SO MY WHOLE LIKE BECAME ABOUT BEING A CUNT AS GOOD. WHEN I STOPPED BEING A CHILD, EVEN FOR A FEW HOURS, EVERYONE GOT UPSET OR DISAPPEARED, SO I WAS FORCED BACK INTO IT JUST TO ‘FEEL NORMAL’, JUST TO HAVE SOME RELIEF FROM MY CONSTANT ANXIETY. MY WHOLE LIFE WAS DESIGNED AROUND THESE RELEIFS, BOTH IN THE SENSE OF CREATING THE NEED FOR THEM AND DOING THEM EASILY, LIKE I WAS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION…

ITS AN ODD THING TO SAY I KNOW, BUT THE PENNY DROPPED FOR ME WHEN I REALIZED I WAS NOT ‘A BADDIE’, I WAS INFERIOR, AND NOT ONLY THAT, I WAS ONE OF MILLIONS OF OTHER INADEQUATE CUNTS COMFORTING THEMSELVES FOR BEING GUTLESS. SEE I NEVER STOPPED WANTING TO BE A BADDIE AS MY GUIDING LIGHT, BUT ONE DAY I REALIZED THAT YOU PEOPLE, THE ELITISTS OF THIS WORLD ARE THE ACTUAL BADDIES. SO I SIMPLY SWITCHED SIDES, AND THE ‘BETTER THAN’ OF SUPERIORITY BECAME WHAT BEING A BADDIE WAS, SIMPLY BECAUSE I UNDERSTOOD THAT I WAS NOT ‘GOOD’ IN THE SENSE OF ‘COOL’ BEFORE, I WAS JUST WEAK AND IF I STOPPED BEING DESPERATE FOR A MOMENT I COULD SEE MYSELF, MY WEAKNESS IN THE MOMENT.

THE FACT THAT SOMEONE AS RUTHLESS AS YOU WAS PREPARED TO PUT SOME EFFORT INTO HELPING ME WAS ACTUALLY A FUCKING ‘HONOR’ – TO FIRST UNDERSTAND AND SEE MY SHAME HONORED ME AS BETTER THAN THEM, THAN THE SHIT THAT SURROUNDED ME – THEREFORE I HAD SOME INTRINSIC VALUE OUTSIDE OF MY UTILITY. SO I KNEW THEN THAT THIS WAS A MUCH BETTER WAY FOR ME, A MUCH BETTER VERSION OF MYSELF THAT DID NOT REQUIRE ME TO BE BORN AGAIN, I DID NOT NEED TO BE SPIRITUAL, I JUST NEEDED TO GROW THE FUCK UP, AS THE PATH OF SUPERIORITY IS ITS OWN REWARD. THE TOUGH LOVE STUFF IS HARD AT FIRST, BUT WHEN I UNDERSTOOD THE NEED FOR IT, FOR SHOCKS, TO LEND ME YOUR STRENGTH AT THE START TO FIX WHAT I AM TOO WEAK TO DO MYSELF, IT HELPED ME UNDERSTAND WHAT A BADDIE ACTUALLY IS.

THEN I WAS HOOKED, BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT THIS WAS THE REAL VERSION OF WHAT I HAD BEEN CHASING THIS WHOLE TIME. BUT BE CAREFUL WITH THE WHOLE GOOD BAD MAN THING – YOU ARE OLD SCHOOL, SO I’M NOT SURE YOU SEE THAT MOST MODERN CHILDREN ARE CONDITIONED BY THE 1 DIMENSIONAL MORALITY OF THE MODERN MEDIA OR HERD, ALL IS EITHER REALLY GOOD OR REALLY BAD FOREVER, NO SHADES OF GREY, SO THEY GET VERY VERY CONFUSED BY THE NEED FOR GOOD ‘BADNESS’. THE WHOLE ‘LONG VIEW OF LIFE’, OF ALLOWING BAD THINGS TO HAPPENS FOR THE SAKE OF ‘THE BIGGER PICTURE’, OF NONE INTERVENTION UNTIL THERE IS SOMETHING WORTH SAVING IS ‘OUT OF FASHION’, SO A STEEP LEARNING CURVE. I KNOW NOW THIS IS TYPE OF TEST, I KNOW ITS REQUIRED AS THE BEDROCK OF ELITISM, BUT OUTSIDE OF A RARE FEW THE VALUES OF REAL ARISTOCRACY, OF CLASS HAVE BEEN ERASED FROM MODERN SOCIETY, SO NOBODY TELLS YOU THIS IS ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS!   

THESE DAYS WE THINK OUR VALUE IS ARE ‘SOCIAL STATUS’, SO THAT IS ‘OUR UTILITY’, THE POINT OF US AS AN END IT ITSELF, SO IT IS ALL DONE ‘FOR SHOW’, ALL FAKE, CURATED CRAP WE HAVE BOUGHT OFF THE SHELF LIKE ‘A HATED LITTLE CONSUMER’ WHO BUYS ‘THIER QUALITY’ IN ORDER TO COVER UP THE LACK OF SAME. IT IS AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT CONCEPT TO GRASP THAT YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT OUR ‘INHERENT QUALITY’, OUR ESSENCE AS YOU SAY, AND WORSE WE HAVE TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS THAT TO YOU, TO SHOW YOU THAT AS A PROOF WE ARE WORTH 10SECS OF YOUR ATTENTION. I STRUGLED WITH THIS FOR AGES, WITH THE NEED TO CHANGE MY VALUE SYSTEM, WITH WHY I THOUGHT I WAS COOL, AS I THOUGHT I WAS STILL A BADDIE, THAT FOLKS LIKE YOU WOULD SEE SOME VALUE IN BEING ME, THAT I HAD QUALITY BECAUSE OF THAT, INSTEAD OF BEING A CUNT. 

IT HARD TO EXPLAIN BUT WE THINK WE DESERVE ATTENTION BECAUSE WE CONFORM TO OUR HERD, OUR LEVEL IN OUR LITTLE FAKE SOCIETY OF CHILDREN, BUT IF YOU ARE NOT CONVINCED OF OUR QUALITY YOU WOULD LITERALLY STEP OVER US IN THE STREET, AS OUR MONEY, LOOKS, CLOTHES, COOLNESS, CAUSES, SOCIAL STATUS HAS NO VALUE TO YOU, INDEED, WE DEVALUE OURSELVES BY PRETENDING TO BE BETTER THAN WE ARE, EVEN THOUGH THAT IS NORMAL – THAT FAKENESS IS WHAT WE ARE TAUGHT TO BE TO COVER UP OUR NOTHING. OTHERWISE WE WOULD SIMPLY NOT HAVE A CLUE WHAT TO DO, WE HAVE GOALS BASED ON SOCIAL MEDIA, ON THE THE SHOW OF GOALS, NOT THE MEANING OF THEM OR ACHIEVEMENT OF THEM – IF I CAN FAKE A PICTURE OF A GOAL, A VALUE, AN ACHIEVEMENT THEN TO ME I’VE DONE IT, WHERE YOU JUST THINK I’M AN EVEN BIGGER CUNT.

HOWEVER HARD IT IS TO ADMIT KNOW THAT QUALITY TO US NOW MEANS ‘THE APPEARANCE OF QUALITY’ TO YOU, INDEED OUR ABILITY TO FAKE THAT QUALITY IS REALLY OUR ONLY GOAL IN LIFE – MONEY. I KNOW THAT DOES NOT WORK NOW, BUT YOU MUST SEE MODERN PEOPLE SPEAK AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT LANGUAGE TO YOU, AND YOU MUST FIND A SHARED WAY TO COMMINICATE BEFORE YOU HAVE A HOPE IN HELL OF REACHING US – YOU MUST HELP US DO THAT INSTEAD OF JUST SEEING IT AS ANOTHER TEST WE HAVE TO PASS TO BE WORTHY OF THIS HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE. I GET THE CHICKEN AND EGG THING, BUT YOU NEED TO SEE WE ARE STARTING FROM WAY FURTHER DOWN THE FOOD CHAIN THAT YOU DID, SO NEED MORE HELP.  

SURE ITS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE BUT FOR ME IT WAS NOT UNTIL I SAW MY LEVEL OF BADDIE WAS SO PATHETIC AS TO BE INSIGNIFICANT AGAINST YOURS THAT I FINALLY ACCEPTED MY TOTAL DEFEAT, HOW FUCKING SHIT MY STEREOTYPICAL, FAKE CHARACTER REACTIONS ACTUALLY WERE, THAT I WAS PREPARED TO THROW IT AWAY AND CHANGE – FRANKLY WITHOUT THIS CHANGE MY BLOOD TESTS AND TOXICOLOGY SCREENING WOULD HAVE BROKEN ME, AS I WOULD OF SPIRALLED OUT OF CONTROL INSTEAD OF TAKING THE TIME TO FIX IT, WHILE THERE WAS STILL ENOUGH TIME TO DO THAT, AND HAVE SOME QUALITY OF LIFE LEFT.

THAT IS HOW I FOUND THE MOTIVATION TO TRY ON MY LIFE OR DEATH LEVEL, YOU SAY WE ALL NEED THESE DAYS – THAT MY REASON TO TRY WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO OVERPOWER MY FEAR OF TRYING, AS WE ARE STILL CHILDREN CONTROLLED BY FEAR AT THE START AND WITHOUT THAT FEAR OF NOT TRYING OVERCOMING OUR FEAR OF TRYING WE WILL STILL DO NOTHING, NO MATTER HOW INTERESTED WE ARE. I UNDERSTAND IT IS A CURSE TO KNOW WE CANNOT TRY ANYTHING UNLESS WE KNOW IT IS ‘EGO-SAFE’ TO DO SO, AND I SEE THAT YOU MAKE US FEEL SAFE OVER TIME, BUT THAT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ANYONE WHO IS MORE AFRAID OF TRYING THAN NOT TRYING, WHO EVEN THINKS THEY CAN STILL GO ON WITHOUT THIER HEARTS DESIRE, AND THATS A FAILURE OF THIS APPROACH, MUCH AS I HAVE NO ANSWER FOR IT EITHER.

ONE DAY I’M SURE YOU WILL THINK OF ONE, BUT FOR NOW WHY NOT JUST SCARE US INTO IT, WHY NOT SEE THAT PEOPLE OF MY TYPE PARTICUALRY ARE BEGGING YOU TO ACTUALLY SCARE US INTO IT BECAUSE OF THE WAY WE ACT, TO DEFEAT US SO TOTALLY THAT THERE IS NOTHING LEFT BUT THIS. I KNOW WE STILL NEED A CARROT WE CAN DO, I KNOW THIS IS HOW DEVELOPMENT WORKS – TO BE BETTER THAN – BUT SERIOUSLY MOST FOLKS DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT WITHOUT FEAR OR A COMFORT FOR FEAR THEY DON’T WANT TO DO ANY FUCKING THING, THEY SIT THERE BORED AND STUPID, WAITING FOR ANOTHER FEAR. SO CARROTS ARE ALL JUST COMFORTS THESE DAYS, AS THE ‘MEN OF DESTINY’ LIKE YOU ARE PRETTY THIN ON THE GROUND – THE WOMEN ARE TAUGHT TO BE MEN NOW, WHILE MEN ARE TAUGHT TO BE TRANS, OR TEACH THEMSELVES TO BE BULLYS.

FEAR IS THE KEY, THE ANSWER TO WHAT WE ARE NOW THAT WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND BY OURSELVES AND TO CHANGING WHAT WE ARE NOW, BUT YOU WON’T USE IT AGAINST US, WE HAVE TO USE IT FOR YOU ON OURSELVES. I GUESS YOU WILL SAY THAT IS ‘THE TEST’, THAT REALIZATION IS WHAT MAKES US WORTHY OF THE REST OF THIS, OF ALL THE POWER THAT COMES WITH DISASSOCIATION ONCE YOU SEE THAT IT FREES YOU UP TO DO ANYTHING YOU WISH, OR THE CURSE OF DISASSOCIATION IF IT HAPPENS WITHOUT THAT GNOSIS, THAT REALIZATION, CRIPPLING US AS A MENTAL DISEASE, AN EMPTINESS WE HAVE TO FIGHT TO GET BACK TO OUR CHILDHOOD SELVES, AS DARK SEPERATENESS BEFORE WE HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO ‘BE’, WAITING ON THE OTHER SHORE.’

SEE THIS TYPE FOR WHAT IT IS, SEE WHAT WAITING FOR AN INTERVENTION DOES TO YOU, SEE WHAT WILL BECOME OF A PARASITE – THEY HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR SO NOW THEY TRY, WHEN THERE IS NO LONGER ANY POINT – TRYING IS ALL THAT IS LEFT BECAUSE THEY CAN’T HAVE FUN ANYMORE, BUT THAT FUN HAS ALREADY WASTED EVERYTHING THEY NEEDED TO TRY. SO TRYING IS POINTLESS, BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS POINTLESS. DO YOURSELF A BIG, BIG FAVOUR NOW – STOP THINKING SPIRITUALITY IS ‘CHRISTIAN’, THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS ‘GO BACK TO IT LATER’, YOU CAN’T – EVERYONE ACCEPTS YOU MUST WAIT UNTIL YOUR FUN DECLINES IN ORDER TO START AT ALL, THAT SOME YEARS MUST PASS, BUT YOU MUST THEN GET THERE ASAP, ONCE YOUR DECLINE SETS IN!

SEE AT THE TIME I JUST SMILED AND LEFT, DROPPED A FEW KIND WORDS AND TOLD HER TO KEEP TRYING, IT WAS ALL SHE HAD LEFT TO COMFORT THE TERROR IN HER EYES OF WHAT SHE KNEW WAS TO COME, BUT TO YOU THE READER I SAY – ‘FEAR IS NOT THE KEY, FEAR IS A PROCESS TO GET YOU TO THE GOAL OF TRYING, ONE OF MANY OTHERS – YOU MUST MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO TRY. SO YES, USE THE FEAR OF BECOMING A DISGUSTING, REPULSIVE, CREEPY PARASITE, SEE ‘THE END STAGE OF YOUR EXISTENCE’ BEFORE IT HAPPENS, BUT KNOW FEAR IS SIMPLY A TRANSITIONAL DEVICE FOR A CHILD, BEFORE YOU HAVE STOPPED BEING A CHILD THROUGH SUPERIORITY!’ YOU MUST PROVE YOU ARE WORTHY OF HELP, PROVE YOU HAVE THE ENERGY AND THE BALLS FOR IT, OR ITS ALL JUST ‘COFFEE TABLE’ TALK WHICH BECOMES MORE FAKE CLEVERNESS AS YOU PARROT THINGS YOU CAN’T DO, SO DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN TO YOU = ‘ONE MORE GOB SHITE NEW AGER’, SO DON’T THINK ABOUT, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THINK YET…

SO FIND ‘YOUR’ WAY TO TRY, BECAUSE IF YOU CAN THEN YOU ARE WORTH IT, THEN YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF EVOLUTION, AND YOU WIL BE HELPED. NOT EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS LAW, OF THIER LAW, MOST NEED TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE, AS OTHERWISE THE LAW WOULD NOT HELP YOU, AND BY THAT I LITERALLY MEAN EMPOWER YOU TO TRY EVEN HARDER THAN YOU WERE CAPABLE OF BEFORE YOU TRIED AT ALL. YOU MUST FIND THAT SUPERIORITY IN YOURSELF, THE NEED TO FEEL IT MORE THAN COMFORT, AS ‘COMFORT REPLACEMENT THERAPY’…

SEE THIS, TRY THIS, AND YOU WILL BE AMAZED BY WHAT YOU CAN DO – THIS IS ELITISM, ACCEPT IT GO BACK TO SLEEP. FOR THOSE OF US CAPABLE OF IT ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IS TAKE THE FIRST STEP, JUST LIKE YOU DID, AND THEN EVERYTHING WILL COME TOGETHER VERY QUICKLY, AND FIX YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, WANT IT OR NOT, BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY LIFE WORKS WHEN IT IS TRUE FOR YOU – ALL ELSE COMES NATURALLY. BUT WITHOUT IT, WITHOUT THAT FIRST STEP, NOTHING WILL WORK, AND YOU WILL BE FORCED BACK ONTO THE SAME PATH YOU WERE BEFORE. REAL TRYING IS MAGIC, AS THEN TRYING BECOMES DOING, AND DOING BECOMES GROWING UP – THE PAY BACK FOR TRYING IS VASTLY MORE THAN YOU EVER PUT IN.’

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? THERE IS NO GENERIC ANSWER FOR OVER COMING YOUR FEAR OF TRYING, YOU HAVE TO DO IT, FOR MOST IT HAS TO FIND YOU OUT OF THE BLUE ON A COLD, CLEAR WINTERS DAY, WHEN ALL OF SUDDEN YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, BUT YOUR ABILITY TO MAKE THAT DECISION IS THERE EVERY SECOND OF YOUR LIFE, AND YOU CAN MAKE IT ANYTIME YOU WISH – FEAR IS A REACTION, BRAVERY IS A DECISION, SO A DECISION IS WHEN YOUR CONSCIOUS YOU OVERPOWERS YOUR UNCONSCIOUS YOU FOR THE WIN, OTHERWISE YOU LOSE AGAIN AND COMFORT YOURSELF AGAIN, AND AGAIN. AND YES, IT REALLY IS THAT FUCKING SIMPLE ‘AFTER YOU HAVE DONE IT’. SO WHY NOT JUST TRUST THAT ABSTRACTLY NOW, AND TRY…

SEE I ACTUALLY EXPECT YOU TO KNOW ALL THAT BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT DEVELOPING YOURSELF, TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, TO SEE YOUR TOTAL LACK OF CLASS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER. YOUR QUALITY IS ALL FAKE, COPIED, A FANTASY OF CHANTING ABOUT SOME CAUSE IN A FARMERS FIELD YOU ACTUALLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT OTHER THAN WHAT THE RUSSIANS MAKE YOU READ ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO MANIPULATE YOUR FAKE OPINION OF A CHILD, AND SO HELP YOU TO DESTROY YOURSELVES, YOUR SOCIETY OF CHILDREN, AS IT MAKES YOU TOTALLY HARMLESS, UNABLE TO DEFEND YOUR SOCIETY – YOU ARE SO CONFUSED ABOUT GOOD AND BAD YOU BARELY KNOW NIGHT FROM FUCKING DAY, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP.

SEE THE PATH OF CHILDHOOD, OF THE FOREVER YOUNG IS A ‘CON WITHIN A CON’, BECAUSE IT IS A ‘CHARACTER LEVEL’ CON – YOU THINK THE CON OF YOUR ‘CONDITIONED CHARACTER’ IS YOU, SO YOU DON’T WANT TO BE REAL YOU, YOU ARE COMPELLED TO BE ‘IT’ INSTEAD – YOUR CONDITIONED CHARACTER IS A CON, AND YOUR BELIEF THIS ‘CHARACTER OF REACTIONS’ IS YOU IS ALSO A CON, YOU HAVE TO SEE BOTH OF THESE THINGS TOGETHER. ONCE YOU SEE THIS, ONCE YOU REALIZE YOU ARE NOT YOUR AUTOMATIC CHARACTER RESPONSES AND YOU ACTUALLY HAVE NO REAL CHARACTER ANYWAY BECAUSE ITS ALL CONDITIONED THEN YOU CAN START – THE 2 GO TOGETHER, AS ONE IS NEEDED TO SUPPORT THE VALIDITY OF THE OTHER. THEN ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS START TO USE YOUR ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ AS A DIFFERENT FORM OF THINKING, AS GIVING ORDERS TO THE REST OF YOU AT THE START AS A CLEAR DEPARTURE FROM YOU THE CHILDS ‘FAKE FELT THINKING’, AND IT ALL GETS QUITE EASY FOR MANY…

See I am not here to fix you, I am here to MAKE YOU THINK, WHICH MEANS RELATE THESE CONCEPTS TO YOURSELF, to your own experience – WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE IS FAR BIGGER THAN YOU, FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU, FAR MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU, AND YOU NEED TO SEE THAT, IN COMPARISON TO YOUR PETTY LITTLE EXISTENCE. Then you will want to USE THEM AS ‘YOUR CAUSE’, AND REPLACE ALL THE STUPID LITTLE CAUSES YOU WASTE YOUR TIME ON IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIND ‘MEANING’, so this stuff NEEDS TO BECOME ‘WHO YOU ARE’, WHO YOU WANT TO BE – IT IS NOT A HOBBY, IT IS A PATH, THE PATH OF ELITISM, SO IT IS PERSONAL. 

THEN YOUR PERSONAL WAY INTO THIS PATH, YOUR GOAL WILL BECOME CLEAR TO YOU, AS WHATEVER ASPECT IT IS WILL FEEL LIKE A TYPE OF MAGIC, AND THEN YOU WILL BE HOOKED, AND SO NEVER WANT TO BE THE SAD LITTLE BITCH YOU WERE BEFORE, AS YOU NOW KNOW THERE IS ‘MORE THAN THAT’. YOU WILL NOTICE THIS IN YOURSELF WHEN YOU ALSO NOTICE THAT YOU HAVE BECOME QUITE ‘SCARY’, BECAUSE YOU NO LONGER WANT WHAT OTHERS WANT, YOU NO LONGER THINK WHAT OTHERS THINK, BECAUSE YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT THE ANIMALS DO, WHAT ANYTHING LESS THAN YOU DOES IN FACT, AND EVERYTHING FAKE REPELS YOU. 

To finish this section, it can be very useful as an aid to HELP SEE YOURSELF IN REALITY to simply accept this, AND THEN BURN IT INTO YOUR MIND, because it will give you a reference, A FRAMEWORK YOU CAN ALWAYS RETURN TO IN THE MANY TIMES OF CRISIS THAT YOU THINK ARE HAPPENING TO YOU… 

I’ll tell you something, a perspective on this world from the bad people in the world, from the players, the sociopaths, the smugglers, the gangsters, the tyrants, the folk who look at all your silly, safe, sad little ANTI-HERO CRAP AND CHUCKLE AT THE BANAL TEDIOUSNESS OF YOU, who see you as the stupid ‘LITTLE PEOPLE’, waiting patiently in a very long line in front of the door marked ‘Pointless Life, Painful Death’, those vicious, ruthless, nasty bastards STACKING UP LIFE EXPEREINCE LIKE OLD NEWSPAPERS, who, as the saying goes, GIVE THE BEST ADVICE:

IN THE END WE ARE ALL ‘JUST STORIES’.

WE ARE NOT OUR INNER EXPERIENCE OF LIFE, WE ARE WHAT WE ‘DO IN THE WORLD’, WHAT ‘MAKES A MARK’.

AND THOSE MARKS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE, BECOME ‘US’, ‘OUR REPUTATION’, ‘HOW WE ARE TREATED’, SO OUR DESTINY.

SEE OUR REAL SELVES, OUR ‘SELF CONSCIOUSNESS’ LIVES ‘IN THE WORLD’, BUT THE TINY KID ONLY LIVES ‘IN YOUR MIND’.

SO YOU THE BIG, CONSCIOUS ADULT HAS AN EXTERNAL CONTEXT, WHILE THE TINY KID JUST HIDES, SNIGGERING IN THE SHADOWS . 

EVERYTHING WE ‘EVER’ ARE IS COMPRESSED DOWN INTO THE VERY BEST AND THE VERY WORST OF WHAT WE HAVE DONE, LIKE ‘A MYTH’.

BUT THIS IS NOT JUST TRUE OF ‘THE WORLD’, IT IS TRUE OF YOU – SEE YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER 1% OF WHAT YOU ‘THOUGHT’ YESTERDAY.

YOU REMEMBER A SNAPSHOT OF ‘ACTUAL HAPPENINGS’, NOT THE THOUSANDS OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM, SO THOSE HAPPENINGS BECOME YOU. 

ALL ELSE IS LOST, ‘LIKE TEARS IN RAIN’, 99% OF YOUR B/S FEELINGS, OPINIONS ARE FORGOTTEN, SO ARE ‘ALREADY’ MEANINGLESS AS THEY OCCUR.

THAT WASTED 99% OF LIFE IS EXPERIENCED AS A REACTION IN YOUR HEAD TO WHAT YOU THINK IS HAPPENING, SO ‘IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING’.

THE 1% OF LIFE ‘YOU LIVE’ BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING IT ‘BY CONSCIOUS CHOICE’ IS HAPPENING IN REALITY, AND IT LEAVES ‘A MARK ON THIS WORLD’.

SO UNDERSTAND – UNLESS WHAT YOU DID LEAVES A ‘REPUTATION LEVEL’ MARK YOU REMEMBER TOMORROW IT DID NOT HAPPEN.

YOUR STORY OF WHAT YOU DID IS WHO YOU REMEMBER YOU ARE ‘NOW’, THAT IS ALL THERE IS, EVER.

YOUR FEELINGS, HENCE THOUGHTS OF A CHILD DON’T DEFINE YOU AND CAN BE IGNORED, AS THEY AND YOU ‘LEAVE NO MARK’.

THE REACTIVE THOUGHTS OF A CHILD ARE DESIGNED TO STOP YOU CHANGING, THEY ARE ‘IN THE WAY’ OF ‘YOUR CONSCIOUS STORY’, OF DOING SHIT. 

THE TRICK IS TO SEE THAT IS NOT JUST TRUE AT THE END, IT IS TRUE NOW, INDEED A STORY IS ALL WE ARE RIGHT NOW, ALL ELSE ‘NEVER HAPPENED’.

IF YOU ARE A HEDONIST YOU WILL ALREADY INTUITIVELY KNOW THIS, BUT YOU ONLY ASSOCIATE IT WITH COMFORT, RELIEF BECAUSE YOU ARE A KID.

IF YOU ARE THE BAD PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THE WHOLE POINT OF YOUR LIFE IS THIS CONTEXT OF STORY AS A COLLECTION OF CONSCIOUS HAPPENINGS.

SO ‘WE OWN THE QUALITY OF OUR STORY’, IT IS ARE ‘WORTH’, WHILE YOU LET YOUR SOCIETY WRITE YOUR STORY, AS A ‘STEREOTYPICAL REACTION’.

SEE ALL OF US BAD PEOPLE HAVE ARE ‘OWN STORY’, AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT WE LIVE IT, SO WE ‘STEER’ OUR FUTURE IN ‘A SET DIRECTION’.

IN THE MEAN TIME, WE DO LITTLE ELSE BUT PREPARE, PERFECT FOR THE MOMENT WHEN WE GET TO WRITE ANOTHER PAGE OF THAT STORY.

THE QUALITY OF THE STORY IS ALL THAT MATTERS, ALL WE SEE, ALL WE VALUE, BECAUSE IT DEFINES EVERYTHING ELSE – WE PRIORITIZE.

WE UNDERSTAND THAT OUR ‘INTERNAL NOISE’ MATTERS NOT, ONLY WHAT WE DO WILL BECOME US TOMORROW, SO WE ARE FREE TODAY.

ANY IMPORTANCE OF 99% OF ALL THOSE OTHER, SOON TO BE FORGOTTEN, ‘NOWS’ IS A FARCE OF EGO-SAFETY, JUST ‘ELEVATED TRIVIA’.

YET YOU WASTE THE BEST OF YOURSELF ON THAT 99% OF PURE TRIVIA, WHILE WE ONLY CARE ABOUT THE 1% WE ‘LIVE…’

SEE WE ALL HAVE AN ‘EXTERNAL STORY’ THAT MATTERS MORE THAN THE  PATTERN REACTIONS OF ‘AN INSECT’…

BUT YOU LISTEN TO THAT INSECT, WHICH IS WHY US BAD PEOPLE TREAT YOU LIKE ONE…

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 99% OF YOUR CURRENT LIFE NEVER HAPPENED – IT WAS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

THE REALIZATION OF THIS NOTHINGNESS OF YOUR INNER REACTIVE WORLD IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR DISASSOCIATION FROM THAT LITTLE WORLD, AND ‘BECOMING YOU’, WHO IS ‘ABOVE THAT’ CRAP.

SO REALIZE IT NOW – IF YOU LEARN TO THINK DIFFERENTLY THEN YOU CAN THINK WHATEVER YOU WISH:

YOU THINK LIKE A CHILD WITH REACTIONS, INSTEAD OF AN ADULT WITH ‘DIRECTED THOUGHT’, SO YOU DON’T ACTUALLY EXIST FOR 99% OF LIFE – A CHILDS THOUGHTS ARE ALL REALLY ‘LITTLE SENSATIONS’ OF HUNGER AND PAIN, HERE FOR A MOMENT THEN FORGOTTEN FOREVER.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND – YOUR INNER THOUGHTS ARE PATTERN REACTIONS DRIVEN BY MOMENTARY SENSATIONS, YOU STILL FEEL LIKE A CHILD SO ACT LIKE A CHILD, THE WAY YOU RELATE TO YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HAS NEVER CHANGED, EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK IT HAS!

SEE THE ONLY REASON YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT A CHILD IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT CONSCIOUS OF FEELING THOSE TRIGGERS ANYMORE, THAT YOU HAVE GROWN UP BY HIDING THOSE SENSATIONS IN THE MOMENT OF FEELING THEM, BY DELUDING YOURSELF WITH COMFORTING FANTASY INSTEAD.

SEE YOUR ‘FAILED VERSION OF GROWING UP’ IS TO SIMPLY HIDE YOUR CHILDISH REACTIONS FROM YOURSELF, WHICH IS WHY YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH PERFECTING SECRET FANTASIES INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU DO IN THE REAL WORLD – YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH YOUR NOTHINGNESS.

YES, TO BE OBSESSED WITH COMFORTING, EMOTIONAL FANTASIES, WITH THOUGHTS AS REACTIONS TO SENSATIONS, WITH THE NEED FOR RELIEF FROM SELF CREATED ANXIETIES IS TO SIMPLY BE OBSESSED WITH ‘YOUR NOTHINGNESS’, SO YOU ARE NOTHING, AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT ‘NOTHING’.

WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO ‘BE 99% NOTHING’ – WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT INVISIBILITY?

ANSWER: TO ‘COMFORT’ YOURSELF FROM THE THOUGHTS YOU ‘THINK’! ITS A TRAP – THE CIRCULAR TRAP OF NOTHINGNESS!

AND THE AWFUL TRUTH IS THAT IF YOU ARE AN ACTUAL HEDONIST YOU WILL KNOW THIS IN YOUR SOUL, YOU ARE JUST DOING IT WRONG – SO GRASP CONCEPTUALLY THIS IF YOU CAN NOW, HELP YOURSELF TO DETACH FROM YOURSELF – STOP TAKING YOUR ‘NOISE’ SERIOUSLY:

YOU MUST CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK – STOP THINKING LIKE A CHILD!

THE ‘UN-DIRECTED’ WAY YOU CURRENTLY THINK IS SIMPLY LISTENING TO AN ‘ECHO’ OF A CHILD’S CONDITIONING.

BUT LISTENING TO WHATEVER OCCURS IN YOUR MIND IS NOT THINKING UNTIL IT IS YOUR ‘DISTINCT’ CONSCIENCE TALKING.

SO UNTIL YOU ARE SELF-CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO HEAR YOUR CONSCIENCE YOU MUST THINK WITH DIRECTED ORDERS THAT ARE NOT PATTERN REACTIONS, INDEED THAT MAKE A POINT OF GOING AGAINST YOUR GUTLESS PATTERN REACTIONS.

REMEMBER – ALL YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS OF A CHILD ARE BASED ON RUNNING AWAY FROM FEAR TOWARD MOMENTARY COMFORT THAT DISTRACTS YOU FROM FEAR/ANXIETY, WHILST MAKING THOSE ANXIETIES WORSE = WEAKNESS.

THINKING LIKE A CHILD MEANS 99% OF ‘YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE’ DOES NOT EXIST A MOMENT AFTER IT OCCURS TO YOU, IT IS A TEMPORARY DELUSION CAUSED BY YOUR PATTERNS, IT IS UNREAL, FLEETING ‘REACTIONARY CRAP’ = THE LIFE OF AN INSECT.

DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO START WITH DIRECTED THOUGHT? DON’T LIKE THE CONSCIOUS ORDERS FROM THE OLD SCHOOL OF LIFE? THEN COUNT STUFF INSTEAD, SET A TARGET TO GET TO AND COUNT ANYTHING YOU WANT UNTIL YOU REACH THAT TARGET.

SEE WHEN YOU HAVE AT LEAST SOME CONTROL THAT COUNTING WILL GIVE YOU OVER YOUR MIND, THEN CONSCIOUS ORDERS WILL WORK WAY BETTER AND WAY FASTER THAN THEY DO NOW – FRANKLY ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN LISTENING TO THE ‘BIG KID’.

YES, WE EXIST FOR A BRIEF SPEC OF TIME IN THE CONTEXT OF THE WORLD, SO WE RAISE OURSELVES UP ‘TO HONOR’ LIFE BY DIRECTING OUR THOUGHTS:

WE KNOW OUR ‘REPUTATION PRECEDES US INTO EVERY ROOM’, SO WE MAKE SURE WE HAVE THE ONE WE CHOOSE.

SO WE LIVE, WE DON’T BOTTLE OUR CHANCES AT LIFE, AND WE DON’T SIMPLY ‘RELIEVE OURSELVES’ TO THE PASS THE TIME.

BUT A CHILD THINKS THEIR SECRET INNER WORLD IS THEIR REPUTATION, AND PULLS THE REAL WORLD DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL.

SEE YOU TAKE YOUR SECRET INNER WORLD ‘SERIOUSLY’, BUT WE TAKE IT AS A ‘MEANS TO AN END’ IN THE REAL WORLD.

SO YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR ‘FRAME OF REFERENCE’ TO THE REAL WORLD, NOT YOUR CHILDISH FANTASY = ELITISM.

THE STANDARDS YOU MUST JUDGE YOURSELF AGAINST OUR EXTERNAL, NOT INTERNAL ANXIETY – ‘CONDITIONED PREFERENCESS’.

THEN YOU WILL CHASE THE ‘POWER OF EMOTION’ AT SCALE, INSTEAD OF THE PETTY RELIEF OF ANIMAL SENSATION.

OUR FRAME OF REFERENCE IS OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES, AN EXTERNAL STANDARD, YOURS IS JUST ‘THOUGHTS OF THE MOMENT’.

SO WE LIVE ‘BIG PICTURE’, ‘LONG TERM’, ‘AT SCALE’, WHILE YOU JUST EXIST FOR ANOTHER TRIVIAL 10SECONDS, THINKING…

WE KNOW WE WILL BE DEAD SOON, BUT YOU THINK THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ANOTHER 10SECS TO ‘THINK ABOUT IT’.

OF COURSE IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOUR REPUTATION IS TO OTHER PEOPLE – ITS A DEVICE TO INSTIL SELF CONSCIOUSNESS IN YOU AS A BETTER TYPE OF REACTION – WHAT MATTERS IS THE ‘QUALITY OF THAT REPUTATION’, THE INDIVIDUALITY.

SEE THAT QUALITY, GOOD AND BAD, IS ALL ANYONE, INCLUDING YOU, WILL REMEMBER ABOUT YOU TOMORROW = WHAT IS LEFT OF ‘YOUR QUALITY’, YOU DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE!

SO NOBODY CARES, WHAT YOU THINK AS A FANTASY, NOT EVEN YOU TOMORROW, YET YOU THINK WHAT YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT ‘NOW’, SO YOU THINK ITS ‘SERIOUS’, INSTEAD OF LAUGHING AT IT.

SEE A CHILD THINKS ‘THIS’ IS ALL THERE IS FOR IT, THAT THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN ‘THIS’, SO ‘THIS’ IS IMPORTANT, YET IT IS NOTHING – A FAKE, ‘OBVIOUS’ SELF IMPORTANCE BUILT ON FANTASY.

SEE EVEN NOW YOU ARE NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE A CHILD SO YOUR ‘AUTHORITIES’ ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING – THEY DECIDE WHAT YOU DO, NOT YOU.

YOUR CHILD THEN CREATES A MENTAL WORLD, A MINDSTATE THAT IS A ‘CAGE OF SAFTEY’ BASED ON REACTIONS TO YOUR AUTHORITIES WANTS, WHICH THEN ACTUALLY BECOMES WHAT YOU WANT.

SO A CHILD ‘IS WHAT IT FEARS’, BECAUSE IT IS PROGRAMMED TO NEED THOSE SENSATIONS TO REACT, TO THINK, TO DO, WITHOUT THEM IT BECOMES BORED, DEPRESSED, LOST, AS IT KNOWS NO BETTER.

YET ONLY WHAT ‘YOU CAN BECOME’ IS IMPORTANT, WHEN ‘YOU ARE YOUR OWN AUTHORITY’, WHEN YOU ANSWER TO YOUR ‘OWN BOSS’, BECAUSE YOU COMPARE YOUR TEMPORARY REACTIONS AGAINST YOUR LAW AND SEE WHAT WORKS FOR REAL YOU, NOT CHASE THE COMFORTS OF EGO SAFETY.

SO WHAT YOU ARE NOW IS, AT BEST, A TRAINING SIMULATION FOR REAL LIFE YOU KEEP FAILING, BECAUSE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ITS THERE..!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND – YOUR EXISTENCE IS ABOUT THE BANAL ‘BACK AND FORTH’ OF TRANSIENT ‘ANIMAL SENSATION IN THE NOW’, OUR LIFE IS ABOUT THE ‘RANK’ OF ‘EXPRESSING OURSELVES’, ‘WE DANCE WITH THE DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT’ TO EARN THAT RANK, WHILST YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE AND GET TO THE NEXT CHEAP THRILL IN ORDER TO EXIST EVEN LESS THAN YOU DO NOW, IN THE MOMENT OF ‘SUFFERING’ SOMETHING…

YOUR LIFE IS A NEVER ENDING 10SEC CYCLE OF NOTHINGNESS BECAUSE YOU DO NOT HAVE AN EXTERNAL QUALITY STANDARD TO USE TO SHUT THAT CRAP DOWN AND GO DO SOMETHING USEFULL INSTEAD, SO YOU CAN NEVER WRITE YOUR OWN STORY, YOU ARE ‘STUCK IN A STEREOTYPE’, SOMEBODY ELSES LIFE THAT YOU NEITHER WANT OR LIKE, BUT ACCEPT AS YOU THROUGH PURE STUPIDITY. 

WE KNOW THAT UNLESS YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF ‘NOTHING HAPPENS’, BUT YOU THINK YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT REALITY ARE A FORM OF REALITY, OF YOUR MOMENTARY TRUTH/OPINIONS/FEELINGS, AND THAT FOR SOME STUPID REASON THIS PATHETIC LEVEL OF LIFE EXPEREINCE GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO THOSE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AS ‘IMPORTANT’, AS ‘SERIOUS’, AS ‘USEFUL’.

SO YOU JUDGE YOURSELF AS HAVING LESS PAIN IN THIS MOMENT WHICH IS GOOD, INSTEAD OF ACCEPTING THE GUIDANCE OF YOUR CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION TO AN EXTERNAL STANDARD, WHICH IS NOT CHILDISH, IT EXISTS WAY ABOVE YOUR PATTERN INFESTED CRAP, BUT YOU HAVE FORGOTEN YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, WHO NEEDS AN EXTERNAL AUTHORITY BY DEFINITION, SO YOU THINK YOUR SHIT IS IMPORTANT….

THE SECRET IS THAT OUR WHOLE LIFE BECOMES THAT 1% OF YOURS, BECAUSE WE GET TO WRITE OUR OWN STORY, TO LIVE, WHILE YOU JUST EXIST, FOREVER CLINGING ONTO THE DYING EMBERS OF THE LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT OF PATTERN REACTIONS.

YOU DON’T NEED TO BE THE BAD PEOPLE TO HAVE A DESTINY, BUT YOU DO NEED TO HAVE A FUCKING DESTINY, IN ORDER TO ESCAPE THE BANAL TRIVIALITY OF YOUR EXISTING FATE, THE NEXT 10S OF AN INSECT, QUIETLY WAITING TO BE SQUASHED BY LIFE.

UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, WHAT DESTINY HAS BEEN PRE-DETERMINED FOR YOU, YOUR ACTUAL TRUTH, WHAT 4TH WAYERS CALL ‘YOUR LAW’, YOU NEED TO WRITE ‘THE STORY OF FINDING IT’, AS MANY OF YOU WON’T GET TO CHOOSE, EVEN I DID NOT

THE JOY OF THIS SIMPLE APPROACH IS IT FREES YOU FROM THE CONFUSION OF ‘KNOWING NOTHING’, OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO AS ‘IMPORTANT TO YOUR LIFE RIGHT FUCKING NOW’, WHICH IS THE REASON YOU ARE LOCKED INTO ENDLESS OVERTHINKING.

THEN YOUR STORY AS A FRAME OF REFERENCE OVERPOWERS THE ‘NO FRAME OF REFERENCE OF ANXIETY’ WITH THE ACTUAL FRAME OF REFERENCE OF ELITISM, SO YOU DON’T CARE WHAT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ THINKS ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO ANYMORE.

NOW YOU HAVE AN EXTERNAL FRAME OF REFERENCE THAT YOU HAVE ACCEPTED IS VASTLY MORE IMPORTANT, NOW YOU KNOW WHAT THE DRIVING FORCE BEHIND YOUR CONSCIOUS ORDERS IS – TO SURPASS THE UGLY, BANAL TRIVIALITY OF ‘YOU THE BIG KID’.

SO DON’T BE HORRIFIED BY THIS SIMPLE TRUTH, BE HONORED BY IT AS AN APPROACH TO LIFE THAT IS ANCIENT AND TRUSTED, WHAT YOU SHOULD OF BEING DOING THIS WHOLE TIME – THIS IS HOW THE BAD PEOPLE GET ‘TO LIVE’, WHILE YOU JUST EXIST, YET YOU STILL CRAVE THE IDEA OF BEING ‘A BADDIE’ DONT’ YA, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF EVERYTHING, SCARED OF EVEN THIS HELP FROM ME, YET YOU KNOW IN SOME WAY IT IS RIGHT FOR YOU, YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO BE ‘A REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE…’ – EVER WONDERED WHY THAT IS..? 

KNOW YOU ARE A ‘SPIRITED CREATURE’, BUT UNLESS YOU GET A GRIP AND WORK WITH YOUR SPIRIT IT WILL TURN ON YOU OUT OF FRUSTRATION, DESPERATION WITH YOUR TOTAL FAILURE TO RESPECT IT AND SO INTEGRATE IT INTO YOUR LIFE. YOU SPIRIT IS FAR FUCKING SMARTER, BRAVER, STRONGER THAN YOU, BUT UNLESS ‘YOU HAVE A STORY’ THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR MOOD SWINGS THEN YOU ARE ‘JUST YOUR MOOD SWINGS’, ALL YOUR TEDIOUS LITTLE EPISODES OF SELF PITY AFTER YET ANOTHER FAILURE, BETRAYAL, BLACK OUT IN YOUR ‘RACE TO ROCK BOTTOM’… 

SEE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOUR STORY IS, DO YOU, SO YOU DON’T HAVE ONE, YOU ARE ‘GENERIC’ – YOU HAVE NO GUTS, SO YOU HAVE NO ‘GLORY’, SO YOU DON’T EVEN WANT A BLOODY ‘STORY’, YOU ‘HIDE’ INSTEAD, HOPING TOMORROW YOU WILL GET SOME RELIEF FROM YOUR NEED FOR RELIEF. ONCE YOU KNOW WHAT PERSONAL GLORY REALLY FEELS LIKE AT AS A ‘CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION’, ONCE YOU STOP CONFUSING IT WITH ‘SEEKING ATTENTION FROM THE SNIGGERING MASSESS, THE HATED LITTLE RAMBLE’, THEN CHASING GLORY VIA YOUR STORY IS ALL YOU WILL WANT TO DO IN THIS LIFE – THAT CHASE WILL ALLOW YOU TO BE RUTHLESS, BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TO BE ‘LOYAL TO THAT CAUSE’, AND CONTROL YOURSELF…

SO IN FUTURE, IF YOU GET TO LOOK BACK AT YOURSELF NOW WITH THE REALIZATION THAT YOU WERE SIMPLY CHASING LITTLE ANIMAL SENSATIONS AS ‘FAKE VERSIONS’ OF THE FELT SPIRITED EMOTION YOU CONSCIENCE IS TRYING TO GIVE YOU, AS YOUR ONLY COMPENSATION FOR THE FAILURE TO HAVE A CAUSE, OF HOW ‘FUNNY THAT YOU HAD NO SENSE OF LIVING WITHOUT AIM, THE DAY BEFORE WE CAME’, YOU MUST ELEVATE YOUR ‘SENSE OF SELF’ ABOVE THAT, AS THIS WAS THE PATH YOU CHOSE BITCH, NOT US, JUST THANK GOD AT LEAST IT GOT YOU HERE AND NOW, READING THIS.

YES, WHEN THE SHOCK THAT YOU HAVE WASTED THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE ON THOSE NASTY LITTLE SENSATIONS, NO BETTER THAN AN INSECT, FOREVER DIMINSHING, FAILING, GETTING WORSE, WITH A DAY TO DAY LIFE YOU HATE, NOTHING BUT OTHER STUPID CUNTS FOR COMPANY, WASHING UP IN SOME URBAN SHITHOLE, INFESTED WITH CRIME AND DRIPPING WITH POLLUTION THAT WE WOULD FRANKLY NOT PUT A STRAY DOG IN, YOU WILL REALLY NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT A STUPID CLASSLESS CUNT YOU WERE BEFORE WE FOUND YOU, AND KEEP YOU LITTLE MOUTH SHUT, BEFORE IT GETS YOU INTO MORE TROUBLE THAN YOU CAN GET OUT OF.

SEE YOU FAILED THE MOST BASIC OF ALL TESTS AS A KID, TO HAVE ‘A STORY OF YOU’, SO YOUR FAKE GLORY IS A VANISHING ANIMAL VERSION, EVEN WHEN ENHANCED WITH CHEAP PILLS, AND THAT IS YOUR FAULT, NOT OURS, SO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE NOTHING YOU ARE, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL THAT ENERGY YOU HAVE PISSED AWAY IN ORDER TO DESTROY A REPUTATION THAT YOU CAN NOW NOT EVEN FACE THE GRUBBY LITTLE ONE YOU HAVE EARNT, DRIVEN BY THE SOCIETY OF ANIMALS YOU HAVE CONSTRUCTED, AND FEEL IT BURN. KNOW THAT IS NOT THE CHOICE YOU SHOULD OF MADE, THE STORY YOU WANT OTHERS TO BE LAUGHING ABOUT BEHIND YOUR BACK, AS I PROMISE YOU THEY DO, AS PART OF THE COMFORT THOSE CREEPY CUNTS NEED TO FEEL BETTER THEMSELVES, ABOUT THEIR OWN SAD LITTLE SHITSHOW.

KNOW YOU NEED A BETTER STORY THAN THAT DOGSHIT, SEE WITHOUT THAT STORY YOU WILL HAVE NO REFERENCE POINT TO CONSCIOUSLY ORDER YOURSELF AROUND FROM, TO SEE THE NEED FOR THOSE ORDERS IN THE NOW FOR THE SAKE OF THAT STORY, INDEED YOUR CONSCIOUS ORDERS WILL BE NO MORE THAN EMERGENCY MEASURES, WHEN YOU ARE SELF CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY REMEMBER TO DO THEM, USUALLY VIA SELF CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT, THAT IS…

WHAT THAT ALL BOILS DOWN TO IS SIMPLY THIS: –

RIGHT NOW YOUR ‘STORY OF A CHILD’ IS YOUR CONDITIONING, THE STORY OF YOUR STEREOTYPE, SO YOU PERSONALLY DON’T HAVE A STORY, YOU ARE CONFORMING TO A TYPE OF STORY FOR THOUSANDS OF LITTLE KIDS JUST LIKE YOU, NO MATTER HOW YOU CHOSE TO CHASE ‘THE FAKE FELT GLORY OF THE GIFTED’ IT IS EMPTY OF CAUSE OR FUTURE, SO YOU DECLINE IN LINE WITH THE DECLINE IN THE VERACITY OF YOUR CHEAP THRILLS, YOUR EMPTY PLEASURES OF RELIEF, DEVOID OF ALL VALUE.

BUT WE THE BAD PEOPLE REJECTED OUR CONDITIONING IN CHILDHOOD, SO WE GET TO LIVE, WE GET TO FEEL ALIVE, BECAUSE WE ARE THE FUCKING ‘CAUSE’, INDEED WE ARE THE POINT OF YOU, THE CHILDREN, WE ARE ‘THE REASON’, THE MOTIVATING FORCE, YOU ARE JUST ‘THE EFFECT’, BUT THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN – THE SAFETY OF AN EGO YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU HAVE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

YOUR ‘LIFE IS NOT WHAT JUST HAPPENED’ IN YOUR ‘NOW’, YOUR THOUGHTS FEELINGS AND OPINIONS OF THE NOW WHICH ARE ALL JUST SOME TWISTED VERSION OF YOUR CONDITIONING, AS IT NEVER WAS, YOUR LIFE IS YOUR STORY ‘BIG PICTURE’, AND WE KNOW THAT, BUT YOU DON’T. YOU THE CHILD ARE STUCK IN THE MIND OF A CHILD, SO THINK YOU ARE FOREVER YOUNG AND DENY THE REALITY THAT ONE DAY YOUR STORY WILL END, AND THE WORLD WILL GO ON WITHOUT YOU, INDEED THE WORLD WIL GO ON LIKE YOU WERE NEVER FUCKING HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE NOBODY NOTICED YOUR DEATH, LET ALONE YOUR LIFE, AS YOU HAD NO STORY, YOU ARE JUST ‘LITTLE PEOPLE’ UNDER-PERFOMING YOURSELF FOR THE SAKE OF EGO-SAFETY…

WE KNOW, EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY AS THE CONTEXT OF OUR EXISTENCE, THAT IT IS THE QUALITY OF OURSELVES THAT IS OUR ABILITY TO LIVE, DRIVE AND SURVIVE, AND SO WRITE THAT STORY – ALL SUCCESSFUL BAD PEOPLE ARE ELITIST BY DEFINITION.

WE TEST OUR QUALITY AGAINST OUR FEARS AS JOB 1, WHILST LAUGHING AT OUR ANXIETIES OF THE MOMENT AND EITHER DO OUR BEST WORK OR DO NOTHING, AND SIMPLY MOVE ON TO SOMETHING FAR MORE USEFUL FOR OUR STORY INSTEAD – ALL ELITISTS ARE RUTHLESS BY DEFINITION.

WE GROW UP, BECAUSE WE HAVE TO, OTHERWISE WE COULD NEVER OVERPOWER OUR BIOLOGY, WHERE YOUR CONDITIONING LIVES, TO ENGAGE IN EVOLUTION OF OURSELVES IN ‘THE LONG RUN’, WHAT WE OUR CAPABLE OF DOING, OUR STORY – ALL THE RUTHLESS ARE SURVIVORS BY DEFINITION.

THIS IS HOW WE GREW UP, BECAUSE ALL OF THIS MADE US BRAVE, CONFIDENT, BECAUSE WE REALIZED WHAT MATTERS AND WHAT DON’T TO US, IN THE MOMENT, TO OUR STORY, TOTALLY IGNORING OUR CONDITIONING, AS WE OUR INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE CHOSEN TO OWN OUR ‘OWN SPIRIT’…. 

IF YOU CAN OPEN YOUR MIND TO UNDERSTAND THIS, RELATE IT TO YOUR OWN LIFE THEN SEEING WHAT STOPS YOU DOING IT AS WRITTEN BELOW IS EASY, IF YOU ACTUALLY ARE AN HEDONIST OF COURSE, INSTEAD OF JUST SOME CREEPY LITTLE SPECTATOR, TO SAD, FAT, UGLY AND STUPID TO BE ‘THE STAR OF ANY SHOW’. SEE IN THIS DAY AND AGE MOST FOLK ARE JUST CHILDISH LITTLE FREAKS WHO LIVE IN THE FANTASY OF COMPUTER GAMES, WHERE THEY PRETEND BE A GROWN UP, WHILST FOREVER REGRESSING EVEN DEEPER INTO CHILDHOOD THROUGH THE USE OF COMFORTING FANTASY…

BUT YOUR NOT ARE YOU, YOU DONE SOME SHIT, EH? AHHH, BUT DID YOU DO IT ‘YOURSELF’, OR DID YOU JUST ‘BUY IT’ AS AN EXPERIENCE, DID YOU JUST ‘FAKE IT’, DID YOU JUST ‘WATCH IT’, LIKE A CUNT, ALL SECRETLY CLEVER AND SMUG LIKE ONE MORE LITTLE PERSON TRYING TO BE BADASS WHILST KNOWING YOU COULD NEVER DO THAT, BE THAT, ACT LIKE THAT WITHOUT ‘CHEMICAL CONFIDENCE’, A MOOD SWING YOUR BOUGHT FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS, BEFORE YOU GO RIGHT BACK TO YOUR TRIVIAL LITTLE NOTHING, AND LOOK AT A FEW PICTURES OF THE ‘ILL’USION OF WHAT YOU ARE NOT – YOU ARE ONE MORE LITTLE FUCKING CONSUMER, BUYING TEMPORARY FANTASIES OF QUALITY YOU CAN NEVER ACTUALLY ‘BE’ – IT IS ALL FAKE.

SEE THAT IS ACTUALLY YOUR PROBLEM, TO SETTLE FOR THE ILLUSION, THE CHEAP, GUTLESS REALITY THAT IS ACTUALLY YOUR STORY OF NO FUCKING STORY, SO READ THIS IN THE CONTEXT OF WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN ABOVE AND SEE THIS IS ALL THAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM GROWING UP, RIGHT NOW – THESE 2 TRIVIAL SOUNDING LITTLE BARS ON YOUR CAGE OF CHILDHOOD IS ALL THERE IS BETWEEN YOU AND GETTING A GRIP ENOUGH TO ORDER YOURSELF ABOUT – THE SMUGNESS OF BEING A BITCH WHO IS FAKE, SO DELIGHTED THEY GOT AWAY WITH LOOKING ‘COOL’ AGAIN, FOR A WHILE…

Problem 1 is YOUR SECRET CLEVERNESS, THAT IS NEITHER SECRET OR CLEVER – IT IS A MOMENTARY DELUSION AS A COMPENSATION FOR INADEQUACY.

A CHILD IS FORCED TO USE SMUGNESS, SECRET CLEVERNESS TO REPLACE THE SUPERIORITY LOST BY FAILING TO GROWING UP,

OTHERWISE THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO COPE WITH THE INFERIORITY COMPLEX OF A CHILD IN THE REALWORLD,

AS THAT FAKE SMUGNESS IS A REPLACEMENT THERAPY TO COMFORT YOU FROM DREAD, FROM SHAME.  

SEE, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE A GUTLESS CUNT – IT IS ‘THE DEFINITION’ OF ONE.

THERE IS NOTHING ‘CLEVER’ ABOUT BEING A CHILD, NOTHING – YOU CAN ONLY BE CLEVER IF YOU ‘OWN YOURSELF’, YOUR STORY THAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO LIVE, ORDER YOURSELF TO LIVE, YET YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING ‘KNOW YOURSELF’, DO YOU, SO HOW CAN YOU OWN WHAT YOU DON’T EVEN SEE HAPPENING, SEE YOURSELF DOING ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME, EH…

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? IT IS A DIFFICULT CONCEPT FOR MODERN PEOPLE BECAUSE FAKE IS NORMAL NOW, SO I’LL HIT IT HARD AGAIN FOR YOU BELOW:-

EVERYTHING YOU JUDGE YOURSELF AGAINST, YOUR ENTIRE ‘SOCIAL VALUE’ SYSTEM OF FITTING IN WITH THE CUNTS AROUND YOU IS TOTAL BOLLOCKS, EVEN ITS DEFINING PARAMETER, YOUR ‘COOL’ IS AN ILLUSION OF CHAIN STORE CRAP MADE FOR YOUR STEREOTYPE – BY DEFINITION JUST CHEAP ‘COPIES OF COOL’ FOR THE HERD ‘TO IMITATE’. IF NOTHING ELSE AT LEAST ASPIRE TO THE SAME QUALITY THRESHOLD THAT THE TOP OF YOUR SOCIETY DOES, TO SILHOUETTE, TO COLOUR AND TEXTURE, INSTEAD OF MEANINGLESSNESS OF ‘HOT’, ‘ON TREND’, OF ALL THINGS ‘SHOP WINDOW’. YOU SHOULD OF COURSE DO IT ‘MY WAY’, MAKE YOUR OWN ‘LIFE AS ART’, BUT YOU DON’T EVEN WANT THE BEST OF WHAT YOUR SOCIETY HAS, DO YA, CAUSE YOU ARE A SLAVE.   

BUT YOU DON’T SEE HOW YOU LOOK, HEAR HOW YOU SOUND, KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, ALL IS A FALSE IMPRESSION OF ‘COOL’ BOUGHT CHEAP – COOL IS PRESENCE, CHARISMA, IMPACT, CLASS, STYLE, COOL IS INDIVIDUAL, COOL IS ELEGANT, COOL IS BRAVE, COOL IS MORE THAN JUST ‘INFLUENCER ADVERTISING’, PRODUCT PLACEMENT, FESTIVAL GLAMOUR – COOL IS CONFIDENT BECAUSE COOL ‘IS’ YOU ‘BEING CONFIDENT’. COOL IS WHAT YOU KNOW SUITS ‘YOUR PERSONAL SPIRIT’, COOL DOES NOT CHANGE EVERY SEASON, EVERY YEAR IN ORDER TO MAKE MONEY OUT OF YOU, DICKHEAD – COOL IS YOUR STORY SO IS WHAT YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING DO, FAKING COOL IS AS UNCOOL AS GETS IT – YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW YOU ARE NOT COOL ALREADY. 

SO COOL IS NOT FUCKING YOU, IS IT BITCH – ALL YOUR COOL IS ANOTHER FORM OF EGO-SAFETY, BECAUSE YOUR FEAR OF NOT FITTING IN IS WAY TO BIG FOR YOU THE CHILD, BUT AS AN ADULT YOU WOULD FIND OUT WHAT CLASS IS, TO BE ‘BETTER THAN THAT’, THE HATED HERD, THE BLAND, FASHIONABLE ‘RAMBLE IN THE STREET’ DESPERATE TO AVOID REJECTION WHILST PANDERING TO THEIR STEREOTYPE OF CHOICE. AND THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BECAUSE IT IS YOUR VALUE SYSTEM OF ‘NO VALUES’, OF BEING A CUNT – EVERYTHING YOU DO GOES THROUGH THIS SAME SHITTY LITTLE FILTER OF EGO-SAFE GUTLESSNESS = ‘NOT REALLY VERY COOL AT ALL’ = SAD AS FUCK. BUT THAT IS ALL YOU KNOW, ISN’T IT, THAT IS ALL YOU WANT…   

Indeed that is why Gen-Z and worse Gen-Alpha have become a whole generation of GUTLESS CUNTS, lost in the human right of their fake SIGNIFICANCE OF A CHILD, whilst actually being totally INSIGNIFICANT, AS THEY DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE ONE 5MINS TO THE NEXT. This is why EVERYONE IS SICK, FRAGILE, DAZED, CONFUSED, EVERYBODY HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE FUCK ALL REASON TO HAVE THEM, AS THE MORE COMFORT YOU ‘EXPECT’, THE MORE YOU ARE UNABLE TO COPE WITH INEVITABLE DISCOMFORT, EVEN OFFICE WORK SCARES YOU – YOU LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD THAT YOU ARE COOL BASED ON ‘A PURCHASE’, THAT HEY, TOTAL SHOCKER, TURNS OUT TO BE A TOTAL FUCKING DELUSION THAT HAS NO BASIS IN REALITY, SO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN FANTASY OF EGO-SAFETY IN ORDER TO EXIST…

PROBLEM 2 IS ‘YOUR COOL’ – YOUR DESPERATE NEED TO COVER UP YOUR INADEQUACY WITH QUALITY YOU BOUGHT CHEAP OFF A MARKET STALL. 

SEE THE WORD COOL IS MEANINGLESS, FAKE – IT HAS NO VALUE IN YOUR SOCIAL VALUE SYSTEM, NOW ENTIRELY ‘EMPTY OF VALUE’. 

NOW IT IS SIMPLY A MEASURE OF ‘FAKE QUALITY’, OF ‘THE FALSE IMPRESSION OF QUALITY’ YOU DON’T HAVE, SO YOU BOUGHT IT INSTEAD.

WHAT COOL MEANS, IN THE REAL WORLD, IS ‘PRESENCE’, WHAT THEY USED TO CALL ‘CHARISMA’, A GREEK WORD MEANING YOUR ‘GIFT’ FROM THE GODS.

THIS MEANS COOL IS ABOUT ‘GRACE AND FAVOUR’, WORDS THAT MEAN POWER, BUT WHICH YOU HAVE NO HOPE OF UNDERSTANDING RIGHT NOW.

SEE THESE ARE CONSCIENCE LEVEL WORDS, WAY TO DEEP AND COMPLEX FOR CHILDISH FAKE TRASH LIKE YOU TO GRASP, EVEN CONCEPTUALLY.

THIS IS THE REAL VERSION THAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL A KID, WHO COMFORTS THEMSELVES WITH THE COOL OF ‘NOT COOL’.

YET SO MANY UNSCHOOLED GIFTED I KNOW ARE BLESSED WITH THESE GIFTS NATURALLY, SO ITS A CRIME TO SEE THEM ‘BOTTLE’ THEM JUST TO FIT IN.

SEE YOUR COOL IS A ‘BAD JOKE’, MADE WORSE BY THE FACT THAT YOU NOW ALL BELIEVE IT = ‘CONSUMERISM’, SO YOU ‘BELIEVE IN NOTHING’.

ONE OF THE TERRIBLE IRONIES OF MODERN PEOPLE IS THE REASON YOU PEOPLE DON’T WANT SPIRITUALITY ANY MORE IS THAT YOUR SHITTY CONSUMERISM IS A DIRECT REPLACEMENT FOR IT, WELL… AT LEAST IF YOU ARE STILL A STUPID LITTLE KID WHO NEVER HAD THE BALLS TO GROW UP, THAT IS. BACK BEFORE CONSUMERSIM, RIGHT UP TILL THE 1960S FOLKS STILL ACTUALLY NEEDED SPIRITUALITY, CAUSE THEY COULD NOT BUY SHIT TO COVER THAT UP, TO FILL THAT HOLE… 

AND SO ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS THE REASON YOU HAVE LED US DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE’ OF OTHERWISE OFF TOPIC METAPHYSICAL ‘SOCIAL COMMENTARY’ AT AN ANCIENT PHILOSOPHICAL LEVEL, YOU MUMBLE TO YOURSELF, ALL ‘BACK OF THE BUS’ LIKE A SHY, LOST AND LONELY LITTLE KID?

IF ANY OF YOU CAN GET PAST ‘YOUR SMUGNESS’ AND ‘YOUR COOL’ BY SEEING THEM AS FAKE, SEEING THAT THEY DON’T EXIST IN THE MOMENT OF FEELING THOSE FAKE SENSATIONS, AS THE DELUSIONS OF A CHILD PLAYING WITH DOLLIES, THEN YOU HAVE A REAL CHANCE OF GROWING UP AND MORE – YOU WILL FEEL YOUR CHILD CONTROL YOU AS ‘NOT CONSCIOUS YOU’.

SEE WHEN YOU SEE THESE 2 EVIL TWINS FOR WHAT THEY ARE, AS YOUR MAIN COMPENSATIONS FOR BEING A SILLY LITTLE CONDITIONED KID EVERY MOMENT, THEN THE PATH TO GROWING UP WILL FIND YOU FAST, BECAUSE YOU WILL DISCOVER BEING YOU THE CONDITIONED KID IS FUCKING UNBEARABLE, AS EVERYTHING IS A COMPENSATION FOR ‘FEELING BAD’.

INDEED, YOU WILL LEARN TO HATE WHAT YOU ONCE WERE WITH A PASSION, BECAUSE WHAT YOU USED TO BE WAS AN EMPTY, PATHETIC ‘THING’, A DISCARDED TOY IN A RUBBISH DUMP, YET YOU INVESTED DECADES OF YOUR LIFE, THE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, INTO THAT CONJOB IN ORDER TO ‘FAKE FEELING BETTER FOR A MOMENT’, CAUSE YOU DON’T ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER.

AND THEN LADIES AND GENTS, BOYS AND GIRLS, ‘YOU WILL BE AT THE RACES’, CAUSE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND EVOLUTION IS A RACE TO THE TOP, NOT THE BOTTOM LIKE A KID – YOU WILL UNDERSTAND FEELING GOOD IS SUPERIORITY, WHILST YOUR FEELING BETTER IS JUST FEELING SLIGHTLY LESS ANXIOUS, IN ORDER ‘TO GRIN AND BARE THE NOTHINGNESS OF YOU’ 

IN ORDER TO USE THIS FRAME OF REFERENCE CORRECTLY YOU MUST SEE IT IN CONTEXT OF WHAT IT DOES, SO YOU CAN USE THE SENSE OF VERY ‘GENUINE MALICE’ I WRITE THIS IN CORRECTLY – YOU MUST STOP COMFORTING YOUR FELT INADEQUACY IN THE ‘FELT MOMENT’ WITH FAKE SMUGNESS AND/OR FAKE COOLNESS IN ORDER TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF SUPERIORITY TO YOURSELF. THIS IS ONE OF THESE MOST TRADITIONAL METHODS OF ALL CLASS SYSTEMS, EVEN THE ARISTOCRATIC ONES YOU HAVE HEARD OF BUT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU THINK THEY ARE ALL ‘AFFECTATION’ – TO STOP DOING STUPID, INFERIOIR COMFORTS BECAUSE THEY DEGRADE YOU AND STEAL YOUR ENERGY, AS A FORM OF ‘PRACTISING BEING AN ADULT’.

YES, ALL YOUR CURRENT DESIRES COME FROM SOME TYPE OF FELT, PATHETIC INADEQUACY AS A SENSATION – ONCE YOU SEE THIS AS HOW YOU FEEL, WHEN YOU LOOK AT HOW YOU ACTUALLY WORK AS A BIG KID, SEE WHAT IS CURRENTLY HIDDEN FROM YOU THEN CHANGE IS EASY, BECAUSE YOU WILL SEE THE CHILDLIKE CONTROL SYSTEM OF CHILDISH FEELING THAT IS USED ON YOU EVERY FUCKING MOMENT OF EVERY FUCKING DAY. 

LIKE ALL GOOD PROCESS THAT WORK FAST THIS DOES 3 THINGS, NOT 1 – 

• IT FORCES YOU TO DISASSOCIATE BETWEEN CONSCIOUS YOU, WHO IS SUPERIOR, AND UNCONSCIOUS YOU THE CHILD, WHO IS INFERIOR.
• IT FORCES YOU TO REJECT THESE FAKE CLEVER/COOL VERSIONS OF SUPERIORITY AND CHASE THE GENUINE ONE BY BEING SUPERIOR. 
• IT SAVES THE ENERGY YOU WOULD WASTE ON THESE FAKE SENSATIONS, ALLOWING YOU TO BUILD THE SKILL OF DOING MORE, BETTER, FASTER. 

IN THIS WAY YOU BECOME SUPERIOR TO YOUR OLD SELF, TO BEING CONTROLLED BY FAKE SENSATONS – IT IS EASY WHEN YOU DO IT, BUT THE COST IS ‘TRYING’ AND TRYING IS HARD WHEN YOU HAVE A BIG ENERGY DEBT = NO SPARE ENERGY, TIRED ALL THE TIME, SO LAZY, UNFOCUSED, VACUOUS. SEE THE POWER OF CONSUMERISM IS THAT ITS EASY TO FEEL BETTER THAT WAY, TO BET YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON HAVING MORE STUFF, TO WORK LIKE A SLAVE TO HAVE MORE TO COVER THE LESS AND LESS YOU ARE. SO ITS A SHAME IT DOES NOT WORK, REALLY, AFTER ALL THE TIME YOU HAVE PUT INTO IT… 

BUT EVEN OUR APPROACH ONLY WORKS IF YOU ACTUALLY TAKE A SIDE, AND STOP RIDING THE 2 HORSES TOGETHER, SO YOU MUST BE PREPARED TO COMMIT TO ELITISM, WHICH USUALLY MEANS YOU ALREADY HAVE SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU WERE BORN WITH THAT YOU ‘VALUE CONSCIOUSLY’ AS BETTER THAN. FOR MANY THIS IS THE SIMPLY TO BE PRETTY, SMART, STRONG, VICIOUS, FAST, RESOURCEFUL, BRAVE ETC, AND IS A LOVELY PLACE TO START, BECAUSE IT ACTS AS A FOUNDATION TO BUILD ON, JUST AS LONG AS YOU SEE THAT BENEFIT AS GOD GIVEN, SO NOT MONEY, EDUCATION, JOB, PARTNER, PARENTS, AS THOSE ARE ALL NOT YOU. YOU CANNOT BUY IT OR IMAGINE IT OR FAKE IT – ITS REAL OR IT DOES NOT WORK…  

THIS THEN BECOMES YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE, YOU FIRST POINT OF CALL WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU, IN THE MOMENT OF SEEING YOURSELF ACTING LIKE AN EMBARRASSING CHILDISH CUNT, WHO THINKS THEY ARE COOL OR CLEVER AS A SENSATION, INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY SUPERIOR AS AN EMOTION, SO WORK ON THIS UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND IT AS A BASELINE STATE, THEN USE IT AS THE BASIS FOR YOUR CONSCIOUS ORDERS, TEST YOURSELF – WHEN YOU CATCH YOURSELF TRYING TO BE CLEVER OR COOL AS A FEELING ‘KILL IT WITH SHAME’, AND SETTLE BACK TO ‘QUIET UNDERSTATEMENT’ INSTEAD, AND SMILE, BECAUSE WHAT YOU JUST DID WAS A ‘WIN’, INSTEAD OF YOUR NORMAL CONSTANT LOSSESS OF FAKE COMFORTING SOMETHING, SO YOU STOP MAKING A TOTAL TWAT OF YOURSELF … 

SO WITH THIS IN MIND IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THERE IS NO MORALITY IN THIS PRACTICE, NO ‘GOODNESS’ OTHER THAN WHAT IS ‘GOOD FOR YOU’ – THESE METHODS BELONG TO A CATEGORY OF ENERGY WORK PRACTICES REFERED TO AS ‘ESTHETICS’ AND ARE DESIGNED TO SIMPLY GIVE YOU THE BASICS OF FELT SUPERIORITY AS A CURE FOR YOUR RAMPANT INFERIORITY, AND AS SUCH ARE ACTUALLY SLIGHTLY ‘POWER CRAZED’ IN NATURE. THIS MAKES THEM EASIER TO DO OVER TIME, BUT IS ALSO THE REASON WHILE WE ACTUALLY MOVE YOU OFF THEM QUITE QUICKLY, PARTICUALRY IF YOU START TO TAKE PLEASE IN BODILY MOTIFICATION THAT FOLLOWS ON LATER IN THIS SERIES LIKE SOME BUDDHA TYPE, AS IT LEADS TO BUDDHIST TYPES OF DEAD ENDS.

SEE WHAT THAT BASELINE STATE DOES OVER TIME IS THIS – IT CREATES A ‘RELIABLE’ AND SAFE DOOR WAY INTO DISASSOCIATION, ONE YOU CAN USE OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITHOUT ANY NEED FOR THE MORE DRAMATIC MEANS WHILST BEING IN FULL CONSCIOUS CONTROL, RATHER THAN CONFUSED:

IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO FEEL SUPERIOIR ALL THE TIME BY BEING SUPERIOIR TO YOUR OLD SELF, THE CUNT, SO IT WILL TEACH HOW TO DEVELOP THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY THAT RESULTS BY DEEPENING IT, AND ALWAYS RETURNING TO IT.

SO IT WILL BUILD AND BUILD OVER TIME THE MORE YOU DO IT, AS YOU WILL WANT TO DO IT MORE AS A REPLACEMENT FOR COMFORTING YOURSELF, INDEED IT BECOMES THE CORRECT COMFORT FOR WEAKNESS, THE ANTIDOTE = STRENGTH.

IF YOU TRY AND DO THESE OR ANY OTHER TYPE OF PRACTISE AS A FORM OF DENIAL YOU WILL ALWAYS FAIL AT THE START, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT REPLACED THE BENEFIT THAT FAKE COMFORT GAVE YOU WITH THE REAL THING, SO YOU WILL BE ‘OUT OF BALANCE’.

IT IS VERY USEFUL TO TEST ALL YOUR PRACTICES THIS WAY, TO LOOK FOR THE PAYBACK OF DOING THEM SO YOU ENTER INTO THE CORRECT SPIRIT OF DOING THEM, INSTEAD OF DREADING THEM, OR SEEING THEM AS ‘MORAL IN NATURE’, A PUNISHMENT.

ALL MODERN RELIGION FAILS BECAUSE OF THIS USE OF EMPTY MORALITY, SO ALL SPIRITUALITY IS DEEMED TO BE CROSS INSTEAD OF WHAT IT IS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE – A WAY BETTER, DEEPER, LONGER, STRONGER AND GENUINE PLEASURE.

WITH THAT NEW PLEASURE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO STAND AGAINST ALL THE CRAP YOU THE CHILD WILL THROW AT TRYING TO BREAK YOU DOWN AND FORCE YOU BACK, WITHOUT IT EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL PRESSURE WILL CRUSH YOU IN A MOMENT.

BUT YOU MUST PICK A DIFERENT SIDE TO YOURSELF TO USE THIS… 

SO TO PULL THIS ALTOGETHER, TO GIVE YOU A GUIDING LIGHT WAY OFF IN THE DISTANCE, WE WRAP ALL OF THIS UP IN ONE SIMPLE CONCEPT, ONE ETERNAL TRUTH AS THE PROCESS OF GROWING UP BEFORE YOU HAVE GROWN UP, A HOLDING ACTION, A TRANSISTION: 

FIX YOUR REPUTATION IN THE WORLD. 

YOUR REPUTATION WILL BE A REFLECTION OF YOUR CURRENT STORY OF ‘NO STORY’.

SO YOU MUST SEE THAT YOUR REPUTATION IS FAR MORE ‘REAL’ THAN THE THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD. 

KNOW YOUR REPUTATION MEANS HOW THE WORLD TREATS YOU, YOUR LUCK, YOUR STATUS, YOUR CLASS, YOUR QUALITY.

YES, FOR MOST OF YOU YOUR REPUTATION, EVEN WITH YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS/FAMILY, WILL BE DOGSHIT, HARMLESS, HOPELESS, HATEFUL. 

BUT NO MATTER HOW NEGLECTED, HOW ABUSED AND SOLD OFF FOR CHEAP THRILLS YOUR REPUTATION IS NOW, KNOW IT CAN BE FIXED BY CHANGE.

SEE WE THE BAD PEOPLE KNOW WE ARE ‘OUR REPUTATION’, AS THAT REPUTATION DOES ALL OUR WORK FOR US, JUST ASLONG AS ITS ACTUALLY TRUE.

THE BASIC LACK OF QUALITY IN YOUR REPUTATION IS WHAT IS DESTROYING YOUR LIFE IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, BUT YOU ARE BLIND TO IT.

YET IT IS EASY TO SEE IN THE FACES OF OTHERS IF YOU ARE BRAVE ENOUGH TO LOOK BACK, TO SEE HOW YOU AS A PERSON IS ‘REGARDED’.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO SEE YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR REPUTATION NOW IN FRONT OF THOSE YOU ACTUALLY ‘LOVE’.

FOR ALL UNSCHOOLED GIFTED ‘COMMON LOVE’ IS BUILT ON THE SUPPORT YOU NEED TO TO FUNCTION, IT IS NOT ACTUALLY LOVE .

BUT THOSE YOU LOVE KNOW THIS AND JUDGE YOUR REPUTATION ALL THE TIME, AS THEY KNOW YOU FAKE IT FOR THEM.

THEY VALUE YOU AS YOUR GOOD USUALLY OUT WEIGHS YOUR BAD BUT THAT EQUATION ‘CHANGES’ DAILY.

SO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’ THE FAKE CUNT YOU HAVE BECOME, IN ALL THINGS.

SEE ‘THE STORY OF A BADDIE’ IS THEIR QUALITY, BY DEFINITION, THEIR WORLD.

BUT THE STORY OF A CHILD IS THE ‘STUPIDITY OF THEIR UTILITY’.

THINK ABOUT IT, THEN ACT – BE REAL, INSTEAD OF A FANTASIST.

YOU ARE YOUR REPUTATION, YOUR STORY, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS GOING TO ‘HAPPEN TO YOU’.

IF YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE ‘WHAT YOU THINK’ THEN YOU ARE A CHILD PLAYING WITH DOLLS.

SO YOU ARE DELUDED CUNT, A ‘CONSUMER’ ‘BUYING QUALITY’, NOT ‘A BADDIE’.

NO IDEA WHAT CLASS IS, SO NEED A PLACE TO START?

SURE, RIGHT NOW AS A CHILD YOU WILL BE TRIVIAL IN ALL THINGS, LIKE A CHILD.

START WITH YOUR AWKWARDNESS, YOUR HERD OPINIONS, YOUR GOSSIPS, YOUR NERVOUSNESS, YOUR VULNERABILITY.

THEN LEARN TO ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP’, AND LET YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR CLASS, YOUR CHARISMA, YOUR PRESENCE ‘TALK FOR YOU’, 

AND ACTUALLY ‘BE REAL’, INSTEAD OF ANOTHER CLEVER, SECRET ‘FANTASY OF COOL’ THAT COMFORTS YOU FOR BEING TOTALLY FAKE.

SEE FAKE IS WEAKNESS, IS GUTLESS, AND YOU MUST STOP GIVING INTO WEAKNESS IN ALL AS IT JUST MAKES YOU WEAKER…

Of course it DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU DON’T SUCCEED AT IMPROVING YOUR REPUTATION – THE WAY YOU ARE TREATED – AT FIRST, WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU SELF CONSCIOUSLY TRY TO IMPROVE IT BY NOT BEING OLD YOU, SO GOING AGAINST WHAT YOU WOULD NORMALLY DO. SO A LOT LESS OF YOU THE CUNT, AND A LOT MORE OF YOU THE CLASSY, UNDERSTATED, CONFIDENT, STYLISH PLAYER, SO BY DEFINITION A LOT LESS OF THE IMPRESSIONABLE, PEOPLE PLEASING, FLAKELY FUCK UP, LIVING IN A DELUDED WORLD OF SECRET CLEVERNESS AND MASS MARKET CONSUMERISM OF ‘NOT AT ALL COOL’. Have a plan and stick to it, SO HAVE STANDARDS – IF FOLKS ASK AND YOU ‘HAVE’ TO EXPLAIN SIMPLY SAY SOMETHING OBLIQUE LIKE YOU WON ON THE SCRATCH CARDS, ITS NOBODY ELSES BUSINESS BUT YOURS…

KNOW YOU ARE ONLY ACTUALLY ENTITLED TO ‘FELT ELITISM’, TO FEELING SUPERIOIR TO THEM IF YOU STICK TO THOSE STANDARDS – YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY FAKE ELITISM, AS YOUR SPIRIT WON’T LET YOU FEEL IT, AND THEN ITS JUST MORE PRETEND. SO AT THE START FEEL FREE TO JUDGE OTHERS AS BETTER THAN WORSE THAN YOU IN SOME WAY, JUST DON’T LET ANY OTHER CUNT JUDGE YOU – YOU WILL NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WAY YOU ARE TREATED BUT YOU MUST ALSO BE CONSCIOUS THAT OTHERS WHO QUIETLY DEPEND ON YOUR HUMILIATION WILL BE THREATENED BY THE INCREASE OF YOUR STANDARDS, EVEN TO THE POINT OF TRYING TO STOP YOU OUT OF PANIC, AND THAT IS A REALLY GOOD SIGN, PARTICULARLY IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM IS PARASITIC, QUID-PRO-QUO, AS THAT WILL ALSO HELP WAKE YOU UP TO THAT BEING ‘NOT NORMAL’…

TO SUM IT UP BEFORE WE MOVE ON:-

THE TRICK TO THE MINDSET REQUIRED TO DO ‘EVERYDAY’ ELITISM IS SIMPLE: 

DO NOT LEAD WITH ‘LOVE ME’, WITH OPEN HEARTEDNESS, PARTICULARLY IF EVEN YOU THINK YOU ARE PLEASER. 

THIS APPROACH MAKES YOU VULNERABLE, AWKWARD, AND IS ASKING, IF NOT ‘BEGGING FOR A REACTION’, WHICH ‘YOU’ CAN REACT TO.

YOU MUST LEAD WITH STONE, WITH A SLIGHTLY DISTRACTED BUT ‘SOLID SENSE OF YOURSELF’, INVUNERABLE TO REACTION, AND FAINTLY ‘AMUSED’.

SO MUCH AS YOU MAY LINK THIS TO COLD ‘GRAVITAS’, IT IS MUCH MORE ‘CHEERFUL’ THAN THAT, JUST IN A ‘LACONIC’, DRY ‘EVERYTHING IS FUNNY’ SENSE.

THIS TRADITIONAL ‘RESERVED’ APPROACH IN PUBLIC IS NOT FOREVER JUST NOW, JUST UNTIL YOU LEARN TO GROW UP, SO DON’T NEED TO BE RESERVED.

IF YOU EVER MEET ANY ACCOMPLISHED 4TH WAYERS YOU WILL FIND, WHILST BOTH PLEASANT AND AMUSING, IT FEELS LIKE TALKING TO A DRY ROCK.

BUT IF YOU FIND DOING THIS UNPLEASANT, ALIEN, THEN YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IT EVEN MORE, EVEN PRACTICE BEING UNAFFECTED BY REACTION.

YOU ARE NOT BEING ‘DEAD INSIDE’ YOU ARE BEING ELITIST, YOU ARE BEING STRONG FOR YOURSELF, INSTEAD OF WEAK FOR YOU THE CHILD.

ONCE YOU GET GOOD AT THE CONTROL REQUIRED TO DO THIS, YOU WILL FIND IT IS ‘SECOND NATURE’, IF YOU ARE SPIRITED, GIFTED.

SEE THIS APPROACH REMOVES ‘THE POINT’ OF ANY ANXIETY REACTION TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE ‘NOT TRYING TO BE LIKED’,

WHILST UNDERLINING THAT IN ALL THINGS YOUR ATTENTION MUST BE EARNED NOW, IT’S NEVER GIVEN FOR FREE.

ONE LAST BIT OF HELP FROM THE BAD PEOPLE?

GO ON THEN – SLOW THE FUCK DOWN – SEE THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT A CHILD IN CONVERSATION IS THEY ARE NOT LISTENING TO WHAT YOU SAY, THEY ARE WAITING FOR A MOMENT TO TELL YOU SOME PREPARED ‘CRAP REACTION’, THEY ARE SO NERVOUS AND FRAGILE THEIR FEAR BETRAYS THEM IN THE URGENCY OF EVEN SIMPLE ANSWERS, IN THEIR FIDGETING, THEIR ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, THEIR INABILITY TO BE STILL, THEY MUST REACTION NOW! SO PAUSE AND THINK ABOUT WHAT HAS BEEN SAID, TAKE A MOMENT TO BE STILL AND COVER IT WITH A FACIAL EXPRESSION OR LOOK THAT SETS THE TONE. THEN SPEAK LOW, SLOW AND SOFT, LIKE YOU ARE SPEAKING TO A BABY, NOT ABOUT ANYTHING IMPORTANT, BUT AS IF YOU ARE TRYING MAKE THIS FORMULAIC CONVERSATION SLIGHTLY MORE INTERESTING FOR A MOMENT, BEFORE THE TEDIUM OF IT MAKES YOU BLACK OUT.

AND DON’T SMILE – KNOW WHAT SMILING IS FOR BIOLOGICALLY? ITS TO OFFER YOUR TOTAL CAPITULATION, YOUR TOTAL SUBMISSION TO YOUR LEADER WITHOUT A FIGHT, AND DONE TO FOLKS WHO ARE WAY BENEATH YOU MAKES THIS THINK YOU ARE EITHER STUPID, DISTURBED OR CONNING THEM.

SO REMIND YOURSELF OFTEN OF THESE ‘BASICS’ – TRYING TO BE LIKED MAKES YOU ‘COMMON, TRIVIAL’, NOT TRYING TO BE LIKED MAKES YOU ‘RARE, VALUABLE’. JUST REMEMBER TO BE FUNNY, POLITE AS ‘YOUR CHARM’, AS THESE ARE THE POINT OF THE MANNERS OF Freemasonry, AND THEREFORE ARE ACTUALLY DESIGNED TO HELP YOU ON THIS PATH, THEY DID NOT EXIST BEFORE THAT TIME, OF MODERN ARISTOCRACY, THEY WERE DESIGNED FOR A PURPOSE. YOU ONLY EVER LEAD WITH AN OPEN HEART IN THIS LIFE WITH YOUR OWN KIND, AND EVEN THEN WITH FOLKS YOU TRUST TO WANT BETTER THAN FOR YOU – YOU MUST SWITCH OUT YOUR NORMAL MODE, YOU MUST LOVE WHAT IS HARD, AND HATE WHAT IS EASY.   

YES, THIS IS NOT ALL OF GROWING UP – GROWING UP IS A CONSCIOUSNESS TRICK, A CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE FROM 1ST PERSON TO 3RD PERSON – BUT WHY NOT TRY ON SOMETHING ELSE FOR A BIT IN THE MEANTIME EH, SOMETHING ELSE THAT WILL GET YOU TO THAT POINT WAY QUICKER, WHY NOT TRY ON YOU ‘THE ADULT’, AS VERY CLEARLY BEING YOU THE BIG KID IS A HOLDING ACTION THAT BROKEDOWN DECADES AGO, AND NOW YOU HAVE NO GUIDING LIGHT IN YOUR LIFE AT ALL, EVEN YOUR VAGUE ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’ GOES UNANSWERED AND REPLACED BY CHEAP THRILLS…

SO HAVE A LITTLE BREAK FROM THE NOTHING YOU HAVE BECOME, LIVE A LITTLE, AT LEAST IN YOUR MIND – JUST FOR A FEW HOURS PRETEND YOU ARE NOT A STUPID ASS CONSUMER WHO HAS TO FAKE EVERYTHING, PRETEND YOU CAN ACTUALLY ‘BE’ THE STUFF YOU JUST WATCH EH, FOR REAL, NOT AS A FANTASY OF BEING SOMEONE ELSE, PRETEND TO ACTUALLY ‘BE YOU’ WITHOUT ALL THE CONDITIONING, FOR A CHANGE…

THEN, READ ON AND LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF, ABOUT ‘THE TRAP OF YOU THE CHILD’, don’t worry if you don’t like bits of it, just skip to the next bit, ITS WRITTEN AS A LONG SERIES OF CONVERSATIONAL VIGNETTES, that repeat the same stuff from different angles, you just need to find the stuff that is right for YOUR TYPE OF GIFT, much as at this early stage most of it is GENERIC so you will hopefully much of it to be useful, JUST LOOK OUT FOR WHAT ‘HITS HARD’, EVEN SLIGHTLY ‘SHOCKS YOU’ BECAUSE YOU IN SOME WAY FIND IT FAMILIAR, as that is what your personal ‘REAL YOU’ actually needs………

 

We start here…  

THE MIND OF A CHILD IS A TRAP,

THAT TRAP MAKES YOU STUPID, BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU CREDULOUS, GULLIBLE.

THAT TRAP IS DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE DUMB, EVEN IF YOU ARE NATURALLY CLEVER.

SO NOTHING ABOUT THIS WORLD WILL MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU UNTIL YOU ESCAPE THAT TRAP – ESCAPE IS EVERYTHING.

SEE THAT MIND OF A CHILD MAKES YOU THINK ‘YOU KNOW’, WHEN ALL YOU ARE DOING IS REPEATING WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD…

YES, YOU ONLY EVER KNOW ANYTHING WHEN YOU WORK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF, OTHERWISE IT IS ALL JUST WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD… 

Now, this TRAP of a FUCK UP is really simple, EASY TO UNDERSTAND CONCEPTUALLY, but really hard to see IN YOURSELF AS IT HAPPENS, in real time, until you escape it that is, UNTIL TO REALIZE WHAT BEING ‘CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY’ has done to you…

A CHILD ALLOWS THEIR ‘UNCONSCIOUS EMOTIONAL REACTIONS’ TO OVERPOWER THEIR ‘CONSCIOUS CHOICES’.

IN TIME THIS ‘CONDITIONING’ STOPS THEM MAKING ‘CONSCIOUS CHOICES’ AND SO THEIR ‘SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS’ GOES ‘TO SLEEP’.

BUT AN ADULTS CONSCIOUS MIND OVERPOWERS THEIR UNCONSCIOUS REACTIONS, BECAUSE IT LEARNT TO STAND AGAINST FEAR AS KID. 

GROWING UP IS THE TRANSISSION BETWEEN THESE 2 STATES, EXPERIENCED AS CONSCIOUSLY OVERPOWERING INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS.

THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO ‘BREAK YOUR CONDITIONING’, AS YOUR CONDITIONED RESPONSES APPEAR TO YOU AS URGENT ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’.

BUT THESE DAYS NO ONE DOES THIS, AS THEY DON’T HAVE TO, SO THEY JUST CHOSE TO REPRESS, THEN COMFORT ‘FEAR OF THE MOMENT’ INSTEAD, DAMNING THEMSLVES TO THE EXISTENCE OF A CHILD INSTEAD:- 

SEE THIS IS WHY YOU ARE A ‘FUCK UP‘ STUCK IN A MENTAL TRAP WITH ‘BARS OF ANXIETY’,

BLISSFULLY UNAWARE THAT THE ANXIETY THAT CONTROLS YOU IS JUST A ‘HANGOVER’ FROM CHILDHOOD,

SO YOU END UP ‘WANTING TO DO THINGS’ THAT ARE ‘NOT THE BEST THING’ TO DO IN THAT MOMENT, FOR YOU…

SO A BIG KIDS ENTIRE LIFE BECOMES RANDOM, ‘LUCK DRIVEN’ CHAOS BECAUSE OF THIS SIMPLE FAILURE, AND THAT IS WHY YOU WILL GET MUCH WORSE AS YOU GET OLDER, AS YOUR LUCK RUNS OUT WHEN YOUR ENERGY FADES – AS A CHILD YOUR LIFE BECOME ABOUT ‘MANAGING THE UNCONSCIOUS BAD LUCK YOU BRING ON YOURSELF’, WHICH GETS WORSE, WHATEVER YOU DO, WHEREVER YOU GO, HOWEVER YOU TRY AND BE DIFFERENT = FUCK UP. SEE AFTER A WHILE YOU WILL NEED THAT ANXIETY TO EXIST, TO ‘REACT TO’, AS YOU WILL BE CRIPPLED WITHOUT IT…

This is what a LIFE OF LOW LEVEL ANXIETY DOES TO YOU, IT DESTROYS YOUR FUTURE BY GETTING YOU TO OBSESS ABOUT YOUR PRESENT, EVEN WHEN YOUR PRESENT IS JUST MEANINGLESS, PETTY NOTHINGNESS YOU ARE DESPERATE TO ‘AVOID’. See the huge benefit to growing up is NOT WHAT YOU THINK, much as to ESCAPE THE TRAP OF THE ‘CONSTANT OBLIGATION TO THINK ABOUT ANXIETY’ IS SWEET, it is not the point, THIS IS THE POINT – THE MIND OF ANXIETY IS ‘A VERY SMALL CAGE’, so you become a VERY SMALL AND DESPERATE LITTLE BITCH, A PRISONER WHO THINKS THEY ARE ‘THE STAR’ OF THEIR OWN LITTLE FREAKSHOW – in reality you are a monkey in a ZOO, and your happiness depends on the mood swings of other freaks who stop and look at you. To escape that means you will be FREE TO DO STUFF YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU WANT, instead of just struggling to stay the same and not get any worse, to keep your ‘HEAD ABOVE WATER’, which is ‘JUST TO EXIST’.

The terrible and often quite shocking REVELATION happens like this for GIFTED FOLK – ONCE YOU GROW UP YOU REALIZE ALL THESE BIGGER, LONGER TERM TENDENCIES IN YOURSELF, which you currently CHASE INCORRECTLY IN ORDER TO COPE, are simply FAKE COPIES OF THE ‘REAL THING’ – YOU ARE STUCK WITH THE PATTERNS OF A CHILD. So all the secret life stuff, all the cause or conflict stuff, all the travel and change stuff, all the hero whorship stuff, all the Love is the Answer stuff, all fashion and art stuff, the magical quest stuff and whatever else you can’t explain IS CORRECT FOR YOU, YOU ARE JUST DOING IT WRONG, USING A FAKE COPY IN A FAKE WAY FILTERED THROUGH THE MIND OF AN ANXIOUS CHILD.

So instead of these tendencies WORKING FOR YOU, FEEDING YOU, DEVELOPING YOU, they are feeding off you, eating the quality of you, as you spend time around shit that lowers you, instead of being around things that RAISE YOU UP. Seeing this mechanism in real time is a huge BENEFIT TO A CHILD, as it tends to work as a baseline YOU NEVER GO BACK FROM, and so is the beginning of the ‘DESIRE TO STOP FUCKING UP’ – to separate your previous MISTAKES FROM YOU NEW DESIRES = TO CHANGE. But it takes ENERGY TO CHANGE, AND CHANGE NEEDS ‘TRYING, WHICH NEEDS ‘MOTIVATION’, WHICH NEEDS YOU TO ‘REMEMBER THE POINT’, otherwise you simply are your previous mistakes, FOREVER…

Yes….

WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO KNOW WHAT ‘GIFTED DESIRE’ YOU ARE CURRENTLY DOING WRONG AND SO MAKING SUCH A BOLLOCKS OF YOUR LIFE?

WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO KNOW WHAT CHARACTER TRAIT YOU CURRENTLY SUFFER THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU WERE BORN WITH?

WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO SEE HOW TO FIX THAT SHITSHOW IN JUST A FEW HOURS ONCE YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU COULD ACTUALLY DO?

WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO GET EVEN WITH THE PARASITES THAT HAVE BENEFITED FROM YOUR HUMILIATION BY TAKING ADVANTAGE?

WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO BE ABLE TO SENSE WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD FOR YOU PERSONALLY IN THE MOMENT? 

SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO STOP GIVING A FUCK AND ‘START LIVING’, SO STOP JUST EXISTING LIKE A GUTLESS CUNT?

WOULD YOU NOT LIKE TO KNOW WHY YOU STILL THINK ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’ LIKE A STUPID LITTLE KID?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO STOP BEING PITIED AND LAUGHED AT BY EVERYONE WHO KNOWS YOU…….?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE THE AUTOMATIC RESPECT THAT COMES FROM ‘CONSEQUENCE?’

WOULD YOU LIKE TO STOP BEGGING FOR WHAT IS ALREADY YOURS BY BIRTHRIGHT?

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU DO NOW FOR THE REST OF YOUR TEDIOUS LITTLE LIFE?

NO YOU DON’T, NO MATTER HOW COOL YOU ‘HAVE’ TO FANTASIZE YOU ARE IN ORDER TO COPE WITH ANXIETY, ALL OF YOU WANT TO CHANGE TODAY, RIGHT NOW, FOREVER. The only REASON YOU DON’T SAY THAT IS BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU CAN’T, SO YOU LATCH ONTO TO THE MAIN COMFORT THAT MAKES IT ALL BEARABLE, FOR EXAMPLE ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’, WHICH IS THE ‘PARENTAL LOVE OF A CHILD’, THE FEELING OF ‘SECURITY VIA ATTENTION’, WHICH YOU PROJECT ONTO ANYONE WHO CROSSES YOUR PATH, AS A BRIEF ‘SENSE OF RELIEF’…

SEE THE WHOLE ‘CROWN OF THORNS’ OF YOUR ‘MINDSTATE’, ALL THOSE COMPENSATIONS YOU NEED TO BALANCE ALL YOUR CONFLICTING SHITSHOW IS JUST TOO FUCKING DELICATE, EVEN TO MOVE ONE LITTLE SPIKE WILL JUST MAKE THE OTHERS DIG IN DEEPER, YOU HAVE TRIED AND FAILED..

OR SO YOU THINK, BUT YOU HAVE NEVER TRIED TO GROW UP HAVE YOU, ALL YOU HAVE EVER DONE IS ‘RE-ARRANGE THE DECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC’, MOVE YOUR ANXIETIES AROUND A LITTLE BIT, SPREAD THEM OUT FOR A MOMENT, EXPEREINCE THEM DIFFERENTLY WHILST NOTHING CHANGES.  

SEE YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU CANNOT FIX THAT CROWN OF YOUR ANXIETIES BY ADJUSTING ONE LITTLE PIECE, OR STOP IT DRYING OUT AS YOU AGE SO IT JUST GETS TIGHTER AND TIGHTER, BUT THE MISTAKE YOU HAVE MADE IS IGNORING THE FACT YOU COULD TAKE THE FUCKER OFF ALTOGETHER…

YES, YOU DON’T DESTROY YOUR CONDITIONING, YOU NEED YOUR CONDITIONING TO WALK, TALK, EAT, DRINK, FUCK ETC, WHAT YOU DO IS SURPASS YOUR CONDITIONING, SO YOU NEED TO SURPASS WHAT TRIGGERS THE UNCONSCIOUS CHARACTER OF A CHILD, WHICH MEANS SURPASSING ANXIETY.

THAT TIGHT LITTLE CROWN COMES FROM YOUR AUTOMATIC ‘CHARACTER RESPONSES’ DRIVEN BY ANXIETY, AND THAT CHARACTER IS ‘NOT YOU’, THAT CHARACTER COMES FROM YOUR AMYGDALA, IT IS BIO-CHEMICAL IN NATURE, WHICH IS WHY IT CONTROLS YOU PHYSICALLY VIA YOUR EMOTIONS.

 ALL GROWING UP IS ABOUT TURNING UP THE POWER OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS TO STEP IN AND CONTROL YOURSELF FOR BETTER THAN THIS, BECAUSE YOU USE THAT CONSCIOUSNESS TO TURN DOWN THE POWER OF YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS TO SABOTAGE YOU, TO DENY YOU.

SEE THE GREAT UNSPOKEN TRUTH IS THAT TO GROW UP YOU MUST REMOVE YOUR CONDITIONING’S ABILITY TO CONTROL YOU WITHOUT THOUGHT, AND WHAT THAT MEANS IS REMOVING THE POWER OF WHAT YOUR CONDITIONING USES ‘TO CONTROL YOU AUTOMATICALLY’ – ANXIETY.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU WERE BORN WITH THE BIO-CHEMICAL MECHANISM TO DO THAT – ELITISIM – YOU ARE HARDWIRED IN SUCH A WAY THAT ELITISM DESTROYS ANXIETY – ELITISM IS NOT SOME HUMAN MADE ‘IDEALOGY’, ELITISM IS ‘THE CURE’ FOR YOU ‘CROWN OF THORNS’.

SEE , WE ARE SO FAR ABOVE YOU I LOOK DOWN ON YOUR FROM ‘MARS’, I LOOK DOWN ON YOU SO FAR, SO CLEARLY, LIKE A TEACHER IN A KINDERGARDEN, INDEED I AM ACTUALLY KIND TO YOU OUT OF PITY, AS YOU ARE SO SMALL AND POINTLESS YOU ARE ALMOST ‘INANIMATE’ IN NATURE..

SO BE CLEAR ABOUT THIS – YOU ARE ‘HALFED BAKED’ HUMAN BEING because your society has REMOVED GROWING UP FROM THE EDUCATION SYSTEM: 

SUPERIORITY IS ‘THE CURE’ FOR INFERIORITY AT THE BIO-CHEMICAL LEVEL THAT ACTUALLY GENERATES YOUR ANXIETY,

IT IS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO ‘NATURALLY’, WHAT ALL ADULTS ARE MEANT ‘TO BECOME’ AS A PROCESS OF GROWING UP,

BUT YOU DID NOT, BECAUSE ‘YOU BOTTLED IT’, AS YOUR SOCIETY PROTECTED YOU FROM ‘THE NEED FOR IT’ AND TURNED YOU AGAINST IT.

SO NOW, IN ‘YOUR REALITY’, GROWING UP IS A ‘PRACTICAL TASK’, LIKE LEARNING A LANGUAGE, A SET OF ROUTINES.

BUT YOUR GLOBAL LIBERAL SYSTEM OF ‘CONSUMER CAPITALISM’ IS BASED ON SELLING CRAP TO STUPID CHILDREN, NOT ADULTS.

SO NOBODY WANTS YOU TO GROW UP, THE CLASS SYSTEMS THAT ONCE FORCED YOU TO HAVE BEEN ERASED ON PURPOSE.

AND HERE YOU ARE, STUCK AS A KID WITH ‘NO CHARACTER’, WHO THINKS ALL OF THIS IS NORMAL, WHO PRETENDS…

Yes, much as I will use the traditional WORDS to introduce this process, of ‘self-sabotage driven by anxiety TRIGGERS’ as it works much better on BIG KIDS than actual children, it is useful to know of the many ‘artifacts’ of not growing up, what NOT GROWING MEANS OVERALL as you maybe able to relate to it, much as I’m not going to explain YOUR TOTAL LACK OF CHARACTER until later in the post. Yes, ITS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT AS A CHILD ‘YOUR FAKE CHARACTER IS JUST YOUR CONDITIONING’, indeed the whole process of GROWING UP IS SO ‘ROOTED IN BREAKING YOUR CONDITIONING’S HOLD OVER YOU’ YOU COULD ACTUALLY RENAME IT THAT, make it less offensive, however we will stick with the traditional way TODAY, AS TOO MUCH ZEN CONFUSES SIMPLE FOLK.

So this is why everything you have done so far in your life is not your fault, YOU DESERVE NO PRAISE OR BLAME FOR ANY OF IT – YOU ARE A PASSENGER IN YOUR OWN LIFE, simply poping in every now and again to GET A HIT OF THE ANXIETY YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY ADDICTED TO, BUT CONSCIOUSLY TORTURED BY…   

YOU ARE ‘SHALLOW’, BECAUSE ‘YOU DON’T CARE’ ABOUT ANYTHING – YOU HAVE ‘NO CHARACTER’.

YOU ARE SHALLOW BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE THE PLACEHOLDER FOR CHARACTER OF A CHILD, THE ‘NO CHARACTER’ OF PATTERN REACTIONS.

YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF THE YOUR FAKE CHARACTER, IT HAS BECOME UNCONSCIOUS, SO YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS JUST GETS ‘THE RESULT OF ITS ACTIONS’.

YOU ARE LOST, DISCONNECTED FROM REALITY, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO, ALL YOU DO IS REACT, WITHOUT REACTION YOU DO NOTHING.

SO EVERYTHING IS AUTOMATIC, TRANSIENT, TEMPORARY, VACUOUS, SILLY, UN-IMPORTANT, UN-INTERESTING, STEREOTYPICAL AND REPETITIVE. 

WHAT BEING A SHALLOW, TINY, EVERY CHANGING, MOODY THING MEANS IS ‘YOU STAND FOR NOTHING’, SO YOU ‘FALL FOR ANYTHING’.

AND THAT MEANS YOU ‘RESPECT NOTHING’ AS A QUALITY STANDARD, SO YOU ‘TOLERATE EVERYTHING’, WHICH MEANS YOU ‘LOWER YOURSELF’.

IN ALL THINGS AN ADULT IS ‘PREPARED TO FIGHT‘ AGAINST CHALLENGE, BUT A CHILD ‘RUNS AWAY’ AND EXPECTS ‘TO BE SAVED’, COMFORTED.

SEE A CHILD IS SIMPLY OBSESSED WITH DESPERATELY TRYING TO FEEL A BIT BETTER IN THE MOMENT VS ITS CONSTANT ANXIETY TRIGGERS.

BUT AN ADULTS BEHAVIOUR IS NO LONGER ‘CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY’ , SO AN ADULT NEEDS NO COMPENSATIONS FOR ANXIETY…

AN ADULT ‘CHOOSES TO GROW UP’, THEY ‘WANT IT’, BECAUSE AN ADULT WANTS ‘THE POWER TO DO’, RATHER THAN ‘REACT OUT OF WEAKNESS’.

SO IMAGINE WHO ‘YOU WOULD BE’ RIGHT NOW IF YOUR THOUGHTS WERE NOT ALL WEIGHTED WITH ‘URGENT ANXIETY’…

BUT BECAUSE YOUR THOUGHTS ARE ALL WEIGHTED YOU CAN’T EVEN DO THIS, YOU ARE FORCED TO THINK ABOUT ANXIETY.

THIS IS THE CAGE YOU CAN’T SEE, AND THIS IS THE REASON YOU CAN’T SEE IT, YOUR ‘CROWN OF THORNS’.

AND THIS IS THE KEY TO ‘THE DESIRE TO GROW UP’…  

Now, I have to reach YOU THE CHILD today through your pattern reactions, which means I have to TRY AND MAKE YOU THINK OUTSIDE of your pattern reactions, which as a CHILD stuck in pattern reactions is difficult because PATTERN REACTIONS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK WITH. So, I have to SHOCK YOU out of YOUR NORMAL, by making you read stuff you are not used too, THAT IS OUTSIDE OF YOUR EXPERIENCE of LIFE in the modern age, SO YOU HAVE THE SMALLEST HOPE IN HELL IN UNDERSTANDING what I mean – even though you recognize the words you CATEGORIZE THEM WRONGLY, because you RELATE THEM EITHER TO YOUR LIMITED EXPERIENCE OF LIFE OR YOU SIMPLY CAN’T RELATE – YOU ARE A CREATURE OF YOUR AGE, YOUR HERD, YOUR PARENTS.

See, to understand GROWING UP when you have NOT GROWN UP, you need to ‘OPEN YOUR MIND’ to the possibility that the WAY YOU ARE, your STATE OF MIND IS WRONG, incomplete, under developed, and frankly a bit of a shit show, AS IT IS ‘ALL BASED ON ANXIETY’. See, its always a fun learn for a teacher just to see how BADLY BIG KIDS REACT AGAINST THE WORD ‘FIGHT’ WITH AN ANXIETY RESPONSE, as it is the biggest tell for how BIGGER KID YOU STILL OUR…

So, FUN QUESTION FOR YA – COULD ‘YOU’ FIGHT?

Say some old, shaky, half crippled smackhead broke into your place, middle of the day, all wild and bleeding out of his blood red eyes with nothing more than a rusty stanley knife blade wrapped in tape, shouting and screaming at you, demanding your money, THREATENING TO KILL YOU, what would you do? Would you THINK – THIS GUY IS WEAK, then say identify the nearest heavy wooden object with at least arms length reach to use as a blunt instrument, grab it, then tell him to leave now or you’ll kill him? When he shouts and steps forward would you aim a short feint strike at his knife hand, left to right, wait for him to react by lowering his hand or grabbing at your weapon, exposing the side of is head which you then quickly but more importantly accurately strike, swinging right to left and not pulling out on impact but following through so his head is knocked aside? Would you then realize he is now stunned, and can probably not even see you let alone attack you, so its the perfect moment to finish the job and put him down with a strong blow straight down to the top of his head with all the force you can, preferably killing him as its a bad idea to leave a living witness who can challenge your version of events in court, who might seek revenge once out of prison? Would you then wait a few moments, get your whole story together, cut it down to the bare, short facts, rehearse it, so you never have to change it under questioning, and so avoid being arrested let alone charged, as the drug addicts previous character, criminal record would damn him by itself?

No, YOU THE CHILD would PANIC OUT OF FEAR, and your PATTERN REACTIONS TO FEAR would kick in, you would SHOW WEAKNESS, beg not to be hurt, give him all your money, SO HE WOULD FEEL SAFE, AND THEN ATTACK YOU ANYWAY, SLASHING YOU, ASSAULTING YOU, RAPING YOU, PERHAPS EVEN KILLING YOU. YOU WOULD BE CRIPPLED BY ANXIETY, AND WOULD ONLY FIGHT WHEN YOUR DEATH SEEMS INEVITABLE AND YOUR ANIMAL BIOLOGY KICKS IN AS A LAST GRASP AT LIFE, but by then it will be too late, and ALL BECAUSE YOU DID NOT SEE THAT HAPPENING BEFORE IT HAPPENED, TAKE CONTROL AND BE STRONG ENOUGH TO DO WHAT YOU NEEDED TO DO TO SURVIVE AND GET AWAY WITH IT. YOU ARE A ‘BIG KID’ WHO ‘RUNS AWAY FROM ANXIETY’ because you are STILL DEPENDENT ON THE HELP OF OTHERS TO PROVIDE EVEN THE MOST BASIC PROTECTION, EVEN WHEN YOU COULD OF EASILY DEFEATED THAT SMACKHEAD, ANY ABLE BODY HUMAN COULD, you just did NOT even THINK ABOUT IT, CAUSE YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS BLANKED OUT THE OPTIONS.

Now, OPEN YOUR MIND – if you behaved like that YOU THE CHILD above no one would BLAME YOU, you would be helped, you would be given VICTIM STATUS, and NO ONE WOULD THINK YOU HAD DONE ANYTHING ‘WRONG’, indeed to BEHAVE LIKE AN ADULT AS I DESCRIBED WOULD SEEM LIKE A FANTASY, A MOVIE, A COMPUTER GAME, TO BE SOME UNREAL HEROIC THING only done in ages passed OR BY THE SECURITY SERVICES. However, before this MODERN AGE, in the time I grew up to behave like a child in the face of a conflict you could easily win would be A TOTAL HUMILIATION, YOU WOULD BE LAUGHED AT IN THE STREET, SEEN AS A COWARD, AS MENTALLY ILL, AN EMBARRASSMENT TO ALL WHO KNOW YOU, AND YOUR FAMILY NAME WOULD BE PERMANENTLY DEGRADED, so you would now be TARGETED BY OTHER BAD PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU ARE WEAK – YOU WOULD BE ‘ASHAMED OF YOURSELF’.

See back then, everybody was ‘EXPECTED’ TO HAVE THE GUTS TO FIGHT as an ADULT, it was normal, indeed so normal that anything else meant you were effectively SUB-HUMAN, USELESS, A RETARD, A CRIPPLE, SURVIVING ON THE EDGE OF SOCIETY, CREEPING AROUND IN THE SHADOWS, BUT IN THIS MODERN AGE IT IS NORMAL TO ‘BE A CHILD’, TO BE A ‘WILLING VICTIM’ BECAUSE YOUR SOCIETY HAS REGRESSED, yet YOU THINK THIS IS BETTER, TO BE A PROTECTED CHILD. See you are now ACCEPTED AS A VICTIM, RESPECTED AS A VICTIM, TREATED WELL AS A VICTIM, as the standards of your society have DROPPED SO FAR that even child murders have HUMAN RIGHTS, that EVEN THE MOST APPALLING WEAKNESS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, SO HAPPY yet DISGUSTING DRUG ADDICTS ARE JUST ‘ILL’, RATHER THAN THE PARASITIC MENACE TO YOUR SOCIETY THAT THEY CLEARLY ALL ARE – HUMANS HAVE BECOME AN UNNATURAL ANIMAL BECAUSE THEY HAVE MADE A NEW SOCIETY FOR ‘CHILDREN WHO NEVER GROW UP’…

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

None of what ANY Adult ‘worth his salt’ would have done 40-50years ago is HEROIC, it is NOT a fantasy, NOT a game, NOT a movie, NOT the official preserve of the fucking police, YOU WERE EXPECTED TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT YOURSELF – TO BE A VICTIM MEANT YOU WERE SHUNNED AS A TOTAL FAILURE. BUT no, YOU CAN’T SEE THIS, YOU CAN’T RELATE, THAT’S JUST MADNESS TO YOU, you are just to WOKE, to LIBERAL – ITS YOU HUMAN RIGHT TO BE A VICTIM, YOU CAN LIE ON YOUR BACK IN THE STREET WITH YOUR KNICKERS ON YOUR HEAD AND SHOUT ‘FUCK ME’ AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE but if anyone does you WILL SAY YOU WERE RAPED LATER. See YOU RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE AND WITHDRAW PASSIVE CONSENT BECAUSE YOU DID NOT ‘ACTIVELY CONSENT’, as that’s your legal RIGHT, TO FORGET WHAT YOU SAID AT THE TIME as YOU NOW HAVE BUYERS REMORSE because actual REALITY does not SUIT YOUR CURRENT MOOD SWING, as today that is YOUR TRUTH, even though it obviously FAKE, AS IT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED IN REALITY, IT IS JUST ‘SOME VERSION OF REALITY YOU CHOSE’ – YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ‘TO CHOOSE WHAT IS REAL’ so you do AS IT COMFORTS YOU AGAINST FAILURE = you are DELUSIONAL, because you LIE ALL THE TIME to FEEL A BIT BETTER.

SEE YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF AS A CHILD, OTHERS ARE, AND YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN OUT OF THAT ATTITUDE, HAVE YOU, SO NOW IT IS A ‘STATE OF MIND’ = YOU WANT TO BE VICTIM, BECAUSE YOU ‘REACT LIKE A VICTIM’, AND SO ADVERTISE YOUR NEED FOR SOMEONE TO VICTIMIZE YOU, whilst living out some fake fantasy WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT all the time, EVEN IF THAT OPINION HAS TOTALLY CHANGED FROM 5MINS AGO – YOU HAVE NO RANK, NO POINT OF DIFFERENCE, ALL YOUR GOOD, YOUR EXCELLENCE IS A FORM OF FITTING IN, OF BEING A BETTER CHAINSTORE WHORE.

See we live in an age where the concept of RANK is being managed out of society, much as we still have the 2 grubby, showy, false ones of MONEY AND FAME (largely because they have better PR), the natural heroic ones THAT DOMINATED HUMAN SOCIETY FOR THE FIRST 3000 YEARS have already gone, THE THINKERS, THE LEADERS OR POLITICIANS, THE MILITARY, and even THE SPORTING HEROES are now in decline, as that is also about money and fame instead of ‘excellence’. See now you simply aspire to being a bit RICHER AND SLIGHTLY FAMOUS, those are the VALUES YOU LIVE BY, the NO VALUES of one more fucking airhead CONSUMER, as no one takes any RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEMSELVES, let alone aspire to having some QUALITY, and even as you read that line you laugh at the very idea of it, don’t ya, YET THAT DRIVE FOR ‘BETTER THAN’ THIS IS THE ONLY FUCKING REASON YOU ARE NOT STARING AT THE WALLS OF A CAVE right now.  

YES, AS I SAID I’M TRYING TO ‘SHOCK YOU’ ENOUGH TO SEE A DIFFERENT WAY EXISTS, HAS ALWAYS EXISTED, AND WAS ONCE REGARDED AS NORMAL, but you don’t even see the madness of what I wrote above do ya, YOU THINK I’M WRONG, I’M OLD SCHOOL, A THROWBACK TO A FORGOTTEN AGE, SO I’M BAD, so try this INSTEAD – YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL LIKE AN ADULT DO YA, YOU THINK FEELING LIKE A CHILD IS ALL THERE IS, SO AN ADULT IS JUST SOMEONE WHO ACTS MORE MATURE, JUST LIKE YOU DO:

An adult does not have to be violent, aggressive by nature, an Adult THINKS ABOUT WHAT IS IN FRONT OF THEM, AND IS PREPARED TO DEAL WITH IT – THEY HAVE A ‘POSITIVE MINDSET’ WHICH MAKES THEM ‘SEE THE OPTIONS’, BECAUSE THEY RATE THEMSELVES HIGHER UP THE FOODCHAIN THAT A SMACKHEAD, WHO’S LIFE IS WORTHLESS AND WILL HURT THEM IF ‘YOU LET HIM’ OUT OF FEAR. However extreme you think MY example is, TRUST ME IT HAPPENS ALL DAY EVERYDAY ON THIS PLANET, because this is how a CHILD LIVES, and not just in this rare and extreme example, I MEAN THIS IS HOW YOU LIVE IN ALL THINGS – this same pattern plays out in your life multiple times a day, damning you to a chaotic life of random failures, because you are a FUCK UP = GUTLESS CUNT. But you think it is normal to be like this, CAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS A GUTLESS CUNT TOO, because they were taught THE NEGATIVE, DEFENSIVE ATTITUDE OF A CHILD ‘CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY’ IS OK, ACCEPTABLE IN THE MODERN AGE – you are a COW IN A FIELD, SO YOU ARE ALL TREATED THE SAME AS YOU ALL ‘THINK THE SAME’, YOU ARE NOT AN INDIVIDUAL, SO YOU ARE TREATED AS A ‘TYPE’.

Now OPEN YOUR MIND AND TRY AND IMAGINE BEING AN ADULT, which means BEING DIFFERENT TO THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IN THE EXAMPLE ABOVE – see in the example above lies the KEY to understanding this whole post in THE SENSE OF RELATING HOW YOU FEEL NOW AS A CHILD, AGAINST HOW YOU SHOULD FEEL AS AN ADULT – IT IS WHAT I CALL ‘A BRIDGING CONCEPT’, DESIGN TO ‘OPEN YOUR MIND’ AS A FELT REALIZATION OF THE TRUTH OF WHAT I’M SAYING. SEE THERE IS NO CHANCE YOU WIL EVEN TRY AND GROW UP UNLESS YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO IT AS BETTER THAN YOU IN A WAY YOU CAN RELATE TO BEFORE YOU HAVE ACTUALLY GROWN UP!

The very specific example above is designed to help you ‘FEEL’ THIS ONE CONCEPT FOR YOURSELF – ELITISM – WHICH IS A PROCESS THAT IS HARDWIRED INTO EVERYONE AS A HUMAN, and which you should of USED to motivate yourself to face you fears and GROW UP AS A KID in order to give you a SENSE OF YOURSELF AS A FELT LEVEL OF ‘RANK AMONGST YOUR PEERS’. This it is forced on you ‘INSTINCTIVELY’ BY YOUR BIOLOGY, and even now YOU should be able to vaguely remember this happening to you at school, AS A FEELING ASSOCIATED WITH THE GROUP OF FRIENDS YOU SAT WITH IN THE PLAYGROUND OR SIMILAR.  

TO SPELL IT OUT – THIS IS WHAT ‘ELITISM’ MEANS AT ITS MOST BASIC LEVEL OF ‘FELT REALITY’, WHEN YOU HAVE ‘GROWN UP’ EMOTIONALLY:

AN ADULT FEELS SUPERIOR TO A BROKEN DOWN SMACKHEAD SO NATURALLY HAS A POSITIVE MINDSET TOWARD THAT CONFLICT.

A CHILD FEELS INFERIOR TO A THREATENING MAN WITH A KNIFE SO NATURALLY HAS A NEGATIVE MINDSET TOWARD THAT CONFLICT.

SO THE FELT SUPERIORITY OF AN ADULT MAKES THEM BIGGER THAN THEIR FEARS OF THE MOMENT, SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO REACT TO THEM. 

BUT THE FELT INFERIORITY OF A CHILD MAKES THEM SMALLER THAN THEIR FEARS OF THE MOMENT, SO THEY HAVE TO REACT TO THEM.

THIS IS EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY – SO IT IS ACTUAL REALITY, NOT THE TRENDY ‘IDEOLOGIES’ YOU BELIEVE…

This is WHY WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU, this is what being BETTER THAN ‘IS’ as a felt reality, and BEING WITHOUT this means you are still a little fucking kid, ‘faking everyday, as that is the modern way’ = GUTLESS CUNT. And this is the way YOU SHOULD BE TOO, IF YOU HAD NOT FAILED CHILDHOOD, remaining stuck in your conditioning like it is in some way YOUR CHARACTER, that it is true, good, hell most of it is not even fucking useful anymore – THE PIT OF ANXIETY YOU LIVE IN DISTORTS EVERYTHING AROUND YOU, even visually, BUT WORSE EMOTIONALLY.

SO AN ADULT SAW THAT SMACKHEAD FOR WHAT HE IS IN REALITY – NOTHING, A DISGUSTING CUNT, A WEAK, HARMLESS FREAK – BUT YOU SAW THAT SMACKHEAD AS DANGEROUS, TERRIFYING EVEN, BECAUSE ‘YOUR CONDITIONING FORCED YOU TO BE AFRAID’ IN REAL-TIME, AND YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND HAS LONG SINCE FALLEN DEEPLY ASLEEP. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT BETTER THAN MEANS NOW, INDEED DO YOU NOW HAVE A WAY INTO THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF CLASS? THAT IT MEANS ‘OUR FUNCTIONALITY AS HUMAN BEINGS’ IS NOT DEEPLY IMPAIRED AND DISTORTED BY PATTERN REACTIONS TO ANXIETY WE LEARNT IN CHILDHOOD, SO WE ARE SIMPLY ‘WAY, WAY MORE EFFECTIVE’ AT THE PERFORMANCE THAT IS REAL LIFE?   

SO NOW IT IS A VERY GOOD IDEA TO FIND A REFERENCE POINT IN YOURSELF SO YOU CAN RELATE TO THIS, TO EVOKE THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY TO SOME CONFLICT THAT DOES NOT THREATEN YOU, SO YOU CAN REALIZE WHAT I MEAN BY SUPERIORITY AS A FEELING = THE FEELING OF ‘THE TRIVIALITY OF THEIR LEVEL’ VS YOUR LEVEL WHEN PITTED AGAINST YOUR WILL, SO THE CONTRAST MAKES YOU FEEL BIGGER THAN THEM. NOTICE THAT WHEN YOUR LEVEL IS MUCH HIGHER THAN THEIRS, LIKE A PET OR YOUNG CHILD YOU BEHAVE TOWARD THEM WITH A NATURAL KINDNESS OUT OF A FORM OF PITY, AS YOUR LEVEL PUTS YOU BEYOND DEFEAT, BEYOND THE POSSIBILITY OF LOSING ‘FACE’. 

UNDERSTAND THE REST OF THIS POST DEPENDS ON YOUR OPENNESS TO THIS FEELING OF SUPERIORITY AT A BASIC ANIMAL LEVEL INSPIRED BY CONFLICT. If you cannot think of anything you feel superior to, IF EVEN PETS AND CHILDREN EVOKE AN ANXIETY RESPONSE IN YOU then you already have some level of MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES and need to take this stuff VERY SERIOUSLY – AT A CERTAIN POINT OF YOUR ‘CONDITIONING TO ANXIETY’ A CHILD REGRESSES TO A TYPE OF ‘ADDICTION TO ANXIETY’ THAT BECOMES VERY DANGEROUS, AS YOU NOT ONLY WANT MORE ANXIETY YOU ARE EFFECTIVELY CRIPPLED WITHOUT IT. But much as the whole HONOR concept of FELT RANK IN REFERENCE TO OTHERS is A MAJOR PART OF THIS PATH, right now you need to GET THE BASICS ONLY, SO CONSIDER:-

So you ask, IF THIS IS HARDWIRED INTO MY BIOLOGY WHY DO I NOT FEEL MY ‘LEVEL OF RANK’ VIA THE ALTERNATION OF MY FELT SUPERIORITY AND INFERIORITY, AS IT COMES AND GOES IN RESPONSE TO CIRCUMSTANCE, THROUGHOUT THE DAY, given your starting level of RANK as a child WILL BE LOW, AND MANY/MOST OTHERS WILL BE HIGHER THAN YOU. So I reply ‘YOU DO’, indeed as A CHILD IT TOTALLY CONTROLS YOU AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, THE REASON YOU DON’T FEEL IT IS THAT THOSE ANXIETY TRIGGERS ARE REPRESSED BY YOUR ‘CONDITIONING TO ANXIETY’, THAT YOU CHOSE TO COMFORT YOURSELF INSTEAD OF FACEDOWN ANXIETY, BECAUSE YOU FAILED TO LEARN HOW TO DO THAT AS A KID. Indeed, if you are unschooled GIFTED your ANXIETY RESPONSE TO MEETING ANYONE SUBSTANTIALLY HIGHER UP THE HONOR LADDER THAN YOU WILL BE SO STRONG YOU WILL OFTEN FEEL FORCED TO DO QUITE MAD SHIT IN ORDER TO COMFORT YOURSELF, but you NEVER FEEL THE TRIGGER FOR THAT NEED. 

So here is the ‘KICKER’, all mindsets, childish or otherwise are BALANCING ACTS, so a child must balance ANXIETY whether you feel it or not with some form of TENSION RELEASE, COMFORT OR FAKE ‘SUPERIORITY’. Indeed as you age you will feel that comforts and stress releases work less and less well and often start to double down on the only one left that gives you any power to balance that anxiety, THE FAKE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY = SECRET CLEVERNESS, often COMBINED WITH SOME TYPE OF DRUG or ACTING OUT SOME SECRET FANTASY LIFE, which goes a long way to keeping you sane, whilst actually making you more and more ANXIOUS, because SECRET CLEVERNESS IS THE NO1 DELUSION FOR A GUTLESS CUNT = YOU THE CHILD.

Understand NOW – the TEMPORARY, PRIVATE FEELING OF SECRET CLEVERNESS IS VERY CLOSE TO THE FEELING OF ACTUAL SUPERIORITY, whilst actually having an almost COMPLETELY OPPOSITE EFFECT ON YOUR LIFE AT AN EMOTIONAL AND HENCE PUBLIC LEVEL – IT DESTROYS YOUR MIND, YOUR RATIONALE BECOMES PERVERTED BY THE CONSTANT NEED FOR THIS INCREASINGLY TEMPORARY AND FRAGILE FEELING – at the extreme this is what ALL PARASITIC NARCISSISTS CHASE, otherwise they cannot cope. The way to remember it is that ALL REAL SUPERIORITY IS A PUBLIC, OPEN, HONORABLE VERSION OF THE FEELING that stains your soul permanently after a while, whilst THE FAKE SUPERIORITY OF SECRET CLEVERNESS IS VERY PRIVATE, SMALL, DIS-HONORABLE VERSION, THAT PASSES VERY QUICKLY, often requiring massive levels of creepy fantasy to support it, sadly now easily available online in any flavor you wish, and often referred to as the ‘Walter Mitty’ complex after a famous old movie, look it up if interested.

So before we move on please burn this into your mind – SECRET CLEVERNESS IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE COMPROMISE FOR BEING INFERIOR, IT IS WHAT IS KEEPING YOU TRAPPED IN THE INFERIORITY COMPLEX OF A CHILD, WHO USES IT TO COPE WITH EVER INCREASING LEVELS OF ANXIETY. So it is not the best you can do, not a drug you take because you just need something and you will be an angel for the rest of the time, IT IS A CHEAP NASTY LITTLE POISON YOU AND MILLIONS LIKE YOU FOUND IN THE STREET AS A CHILD AND NOW GULP DOWN AS A DISTRACTION FROM ANXIETY. Do not underestimate the REMOVAL OF THIS CLEVERNESS FROM YOUR LIFE, as many simply cannot face their existence without it and some will drop down to suicidal-ideation if they go cold-turkey BY SEEING THEMSELVES FOR REAL AS A SHOCK, AS SOME AWFUL REVEAL AS TO WHAT THE WORLD THINKS OF YOU, and tend to casually self harm in increasingly dramatic ways – IT MUST BE DIRECTLY REPLACED BY GROWING OUT OF IT BY USING THE REAL THING INSTEAD.    

Want it even more dramatic – SECRET CLEVERNESS MAKES YOU ‘WEAKER AND WEAKER’, CREATING AN EMPTY VOID AS A TYPE OF CRUSHING, COLD FEELING THAT YOU TRY AND DISTRACT YOURSELF FROM WITH MORE SECRET CLEVERNESS, as it is now the only thing that works FOR A MOMENT BY FEELING LIKE ‘YOU FILL’ THAT VOID ‘IN’ FOR A FEW MINS. This breaks through into your conscious, public life in any number of ways, with becoming in some way ‘power crazed’ or ‘attention seeking’ being the main hideouts of the deluded child, who must chase CONTINUAL SHORT HITS of that feeling to get through the day, but that feeling is increasingly temporary, transient and fragile, often needing visceral and visual proof that ‘you have the power to make others suffer’, to control them, to inspire FEAR IN THEM and so ‘feed off’ them like a PARASITE.

But actual Superiority as a feeling tends to STABILIZE AND BECOME PERMANENT AS A STATE OF MIND, much as it tends to make you naturally callous, CUTTING, MOCKING, IT NEEDS NO PROOF TO REFRESH THAT FEELING BECAUSE THAT FEELING COMES FROM THE LACK OF INFERIORITY, A LACK OF FEAR/ANXIETY, and breaks through into public as a sort of ‘kindness out of pity’ as its own compensation for the infamous ‘RUTHLESSNESS OF THE GIFTED’, simply because it rarely if ever feels THREATENED. So much as it has its own problems, AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT A CHILD ANYMORE, SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY CHOOSE TO DO, INSTEAD OF JUST REACT.

Do you see what FAILING CHILDHOOD and now CLINGING ON TO IT LIKE A DELUSIONAL BITCH ADDICTED TO ANXIETY IN ORDER TO HAVE MORE FUN AS RELIEF FROM THAT SAME ANXIETY has done to you, SO YOU SEE WHY YOU DON’T WANT TO GROW UP? Ok, that’s too bigger step for you to take right now AS CONSCIOUS YOU HAS NOT WEAKENED YOU THE CHILD’S ‘INSTINCTIVE, EGO DEFENSIVE’ HOLD OVER YA ASS ENOUGH YET, but you can get the basics right? 

So…

YOU UNDERSTAND NOW WHAT AN ADULT ‘IS’ AS A STABLE, BACKGROUND ‘FORM OF FEELING’?

YOU UNDERSTAND HOW A BIG KID FAKES ACTING LIKE AN ADULT IN ORDER TO COPE WITH FEELING LIKE A CHILD?

SO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WE ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU, STRONGER THAN YOU, HAPPIER THAN YOU, BIGGER THAN YOU?

SO YOU UNDERSTAND THE FRANKLY DELICIOUS IRONY THAT ACTUALLY BEING SUPERIOR AS A FEELING MAKES US IN REALITY WHAT YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT AS SOME EPISODIC FANTASY – ‘TO BE BADASS’ – WITHOUT EVEN FUCKING TRYING?  

OF COURSE YOU DO, JUST AS NOW YOU KNOW ‘WHAT HAS BECOME YOU’...

YES, I KNOW ITS OBVIOUS NOW I HAVE SHOWN YOU WHAT A CHILD IS AGAINST WHAT AN ADULT IS VIA THIS SIMPLE EXAMPLE – MUCH OF WHAT YOU WILL READ TODAY IS SO OBVIOUS IN RETROSPECT ITS LAUGHABLE – BUT THAT AIN’T THE REAL ISSUE WITH NOT GROWING UP, THIS IS:-

YOU DON’T THINK YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, SO YOU DON’T KNOW YOURSELF, AT ALL.

SO YOU ARE FAKE – WHAT YOU THINK/SAY CONSCIOUSLY AS A GOAL IS NOT WHAT YOU DO, UNCONSCIOUSLY.

SO YOU DON’T KNOW WHY YOU INSTINCTIVELY WANT WHAT YOU WANT AS A REACTION TO CIRCUMSTANCE,

SO YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOURSELF BY SEEING THOSE FAKE, CHILDISH ‘ANXIETY TRIGGERS’ IN THE MOMENT,

YOU NO LONGER FEEL THOSE TRIGGERS WHICH CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS AS THEY HAPPEN, BUT THEY HAPPEN CONSTANTLY.

SO THIS IS WHAT HAS ‘BECOME OF YOU’, BECAUSE OF THIS ‘STUPID BLINDNESS’:-

ALONG TIME AGO YOU LEARNT HOW TO PRETEND TO BE MATURE, WHILST STILL BEING CONTROLLED BY CHILDISH FEELING,

SO NOW YOU ARE ‘MENDACIOUS’, YOU LIE ALL THE TIME, BUT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT, AND NOW THINK THESE LIES ARE TRUE.

SADLY UNDERNEATH YOUR ‘FAKE CHARACTER’ YOU ARE AN EVEN BIGGER TWAT OF A CHILD THAN YOU WERE AT 13Y/OS.

SEE YOU NOT ONLY STILL FEEL LIKE THAT CHILD, YOU DELUDE YOURSELF THAT YOU DON’T IN ORDER TO COPE..

IF YOU WERE SIMPLY FORCED TO WATCH A MOVIE OF YOURSELF OVER A FULL, ‘NORMAL DAY’ SHOT IN THE 3RD PERSON THE SHOCK OF HOW YOU ACTUALLY BEHAVE WOULD BE SO CRINGE WORTHY MOST WOULD FIND IT ‘UNENDURABLE’…

SEE YOUR DESIRE TO LIVE IN THE COMFORTING DELUSION OF A CHILD HAS SENT YOUR SELF CONSCIOUSNESS TO SLEEP, SO THAT PRECIOUS SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS YOU ONCE FOUND SO EMBARRASSING AS A KID IS NOW DENIED YOU – YOU ARE BLIND.

THIS POST IS ABOUT SEEING THIS ISSUE IN YOURSELF AND THEN FIXING IT, SHOULD YOU HAVE THE GUTS FOR IT, AS MOST DON’T, BECAUSE ‘YOU THE CHILD’ HAS MADE YOU GUTLESS, AS YOU THE CHILD IS LITERALLY MADE OF ‘REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’, WHILST BEING DUMB AS FUCK – CATCH 22 ANYONE? Yes, there is more to it than this, Yes even your conscious choices are infected by You the Childs LEARNT pattern reactions, and Yes it is hard to see that in real time, but YOU MUST FIND A WAY INTO THIS TOPIC you can understand simply and return to, so that is WHY I SAY IT THIS WAY AT THE START – IT IS AN ‘AIDE MEMOIR’.

Do you understand – I DO NOT LET MY ANXIETIES OF THE MOMENT EFFECT MY MOODSTATE, INDEED I TAKE LITTLE INTEREST IN THE MOMENT UNLESS I CHOOSE TOO, BECAUSE I’M A MAN, OLD SCHOOL, SO MY MOOD COMES FROM ‘REMEMBERING WHO I AM’, by remembering WHAT I HAVE DONE, AND WHAT I WANT, SO RELATING EVERYTHING AROUND ME TO TO THIS ‘BIG PICTURE’, instead of the meaningless triviality of reacting to the boring, petty now – I remember THE POINT OF ME AS MY MOOD STATE, so I choose to FORGET MY CHILDISH REACTIONS INSTEAD, which I find works well as I no longer look, work or play like a selfish, self-absorbed, self-sabotaging 13y/o.

Yes, I know it is difficult to even understand this, let alone do it when you still THINK LIKE A CHILD, IN THE NEVER ENDING STREAM OF REACTIONS TO THE PETTY NOW THAT MAKE UP THE FAKE CHARACTER OF A CHILD, but it is very IMPORTANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO AIM AT BEFORE YOU EVEN START, OTHERWISE ALL OF THIS WILL FEEL LIKE A FORM OF DENIAL, and that is wrong – I DON’T HAVE LESS FUN THAN YOU DO, I HAVE MORE, BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT FUN MEANS, BUT YOU THINK FUN IS RELIEF FROM ANXIETY, as you are still just a kid, WHO FORGETS THEMSELVES IN THE FACE OF THE OVERWHELMING, BUT DEEPLY TRIVIAL AND PETTY ‘NEEDS OF NOW’. I HAVE NO FUCKS TO GIVE, BUT A BIG KID IS FORCED TO DESTROY THEMSELVES BY GIVING A FUCK AFTER FUCK AFTER FUCK, LIKE A WHORE ADDICTED TO ANXIETY = LIFE OF CHILD.

There is no need to take a moral view of this – YOU HAVE NO MORALS AS YOU ARE FAKE, MUCH AS YOU THE CHILD ONCE HAD A NATURAL SENSE OF GOOD OR BAD FORCED ON THEM THAT IS LONG GONE NOW. So your dominant PATTERN REACTION, WHAT WE CALL YOUR ‘KEY FEATURE’ THE REST OF YOUR SHIT IS BUILT ON TOP OF does not judge you in itself, IT IS SIMPLY WHERE YOU ARE STARTING FROM. So frankly any point on the PEOPLE PLEASING SPECTRUM, good or bad, is all ABOUT getting the hit of RELIEF FROM AN UNCONSCIOUS ANXIETY, WHETHER THAT IS A LAZY WHORE LOOKING FOR ACCEPTANCE OR CONTROL, OR A SELF RIGHTEOUS SAINT LOOKING FOR PRAISE OR FAME, or any other combination, frankly its all a bit blah, AS YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO FIX THAT UNTIL YOU KNOW ‘WHY’……

What does matter, indeed what this whole process of growing up depends on is that YOU REALIZE YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS THAT HAVE CREATED THE NEED FOR THESE KEY FEATURES, SO YOU UNDERSTAND THEY ARE OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE SAME THING, however twisted they have now become, so ACCEPTANCE is caused by REJECTION, CONTROL is caused by CHAOS, etc, so you recognize THESE AS TRIGGERS IN YOURSELF LATER, WHEN YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO THAT. As an example my KEY FEATURE was ADDICTION TO VIOLENT CONFLICT, but that was actually caused when the limiting belief of FEAR OF LETTING MY FAMILY NAME DOWN met up with BEING SHOCKED BY CONSTANT AGGRESSION TOWARD ME, before that happened I was a quiet, bookish kid who knew that smart was the way forward, not conflict.

Trust me, however sad your Limiting Beliefs turn out to be (and they are usually #cringe, cartoony even, as they are created by the mind of a child), it is actually very rare to have a bad one, like mine, and most in women are stereotypical, so most decent teachers, even with limited development will read you inside 2mins of your first meeting, I can do it in under 1min for most normal cases, AS ITS USUALLY THAT OBVIOUS – when you know yourself other people become transparent. BUT THE ISSUE IS THAT YOU WON’T FUCKING ACCEPT IT UNLESS YOU TRUST THAT PERSON WITH YOUR LIFE, AS YOU THE CHILD WILL REJECT EVEN THE MOST CUT AND DRIED EVIDENCE TO DEFEND ITSELF, HENCE GETTING THESE MESSAGES ACROSS IN THIS POST IS A REAL TRIAL, indeed far harder than normal development, GIVEN YOU HAVE ACTUALLY GROWN UP ALREADY…    

Yes, you guessed already, FOLKS LIKE ME HATE THIS PROCESS OF GROWING YOU UP, so much so we rarely do it – WE WAIT FOR NATURAL SELECTION AND THE SHOCKS OF OLD AGE TO DO IT OR NOT, which can look a little mean from the outside. So I have to tell ya, I’D BE a little OVER THIS POST, AS ITS BECOME GLARINGLY APPARENT TO ME most of you simply DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT ACTUAL WORDS MEAN, and I don’t just mean the nuanced emotions of the high point of the written language THAT IS ‘VICTORIAN ENGLISH’, that is the heretical value of ‘splitting the infinitive’, that is the cultured menace of the ‘future continuous’, I mean anything passed primary school, PASSED KNOWING WHICH COLOURS GO WITH WHICH NAMES – ‘Carmine’, anyone… Bueller… ? 

See the frustration for folks like me is if YOU EVEN REMOTELY STRONG ENOUGH, WISE ENOUGH, TO WITHSTAND ‘HARD SHOCKS’, TO WILLINGLY SUFFER NOW FOR YOUR OWN FUTURE LATER, then I and any number of other systems COULD GROW YOU UP IN AN HOUR! See I could undo the SHOCKS THAT CREATED YOUR LIMITED BELIEF IN THE FIRST PLACE, HOWEVER THEY WERE DONE TO YOU, SLOW OR FAST, however they were created first, THEN YOU THE CHILD CREATED YOUR KEY FEATURE IN ORDER TO COPE WITH THEM IN THE MIND OF A CHILD. But you are not, and unless your case is in the danger to life range, nobody serious will do it as an INTERVENTION, much as if you look around you will find a number of secret schools in this world where they will stress test you, in stress positions with THREATS TO YOUR LIFE, cause it works – SOME FOLKS GET TO THE POINT THAT THEY ARE LITERALLY WILLING TO PAY FOR IT, which has become a huge fad in the USA for PROBLEM CHILDREN.

But you are not, are you, so you have to read about it, so perhaps one day YOU CAN SHOCK YOURSELF INTO THE NEED FOR IT, before its too late. So however much you seek to console yourself that you are in some small, secret way ‘BADASS’, that your ‘MOMMA DIDN’T RAISE NO BITCH’, sadly in your case she actually did –  SHOCKER EH, WHEN YOUR REALIZE YOU are so DELUDED that the TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF IS ALMOST THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU THOUGHT…

So LETS START – BEST BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP, get ready for a level of detail, a level of explanation with a cutting edge honed to a ‘cutthroat razor’, that you are simply not going to find anywhere else as I need it to cut through your own self-satisfied horseshit – Love it or Loathe it MATTERS NOT TO ME, SO HERE IT IS, USE IT TO YOUR BENEFIT OR GO CRY IN THE CORNER, I DON’T CARE, but YOU FUCKING SHOULD, so maybe try both, eh, ANYTHING’S BETTER than what you ‘NORMALLY DO’. See no one cares about you UNTIL YOU GROW UP, even the very best and most interesting of you REMAIN NOTHING TO ME BECAUSE IT IS SIMPLY POINTLESS TO TALK TO YOU BEFORE YOU GROW UP and ATTAIN SOME LEVEL OF SELF CONSCIOUSNESS! Plus you are going to be annoying as fuck as you will cling on to be clever like a GUTLESS CUNT… 

See today I have to TALK TO ‘YOU THE CHILD’, A MIND STUCK IN CHILDHOOD, SO STUCK IN ANXIETY AND REACTIONS TO ANXIETY, A CLOSED, SMALL TRAPPED MIND THAT CAN ONLY THINK OF ITS PROBLEMS AND ITS REACTION TO ITS PROBLEMS, BUT IT CAN’T ‘FACE DOWN’ ITS PROBLEMS SO IT COMFORTS ITSELF FROM ITS PROBLEMS INSTEAD. That is what the the MIND of a little kid does, THAT IS THE PURPOSE OF IT – IT CREATES PROBLEMS AND MAKES THEM WORSE WHERE NONE EXIST, over long cycles of time and space, BY FOCUSING ITS ATTENTION ON THEM, ALL DAY EVERY DAY, AS IT IS COMPELLED TOO. Soo a child does not live, does not do, does not think, IT JUST EXISTS LIKE A BIRD IN A CAGE – the bars of that cage are your problems, YOUR RESTRICTIONS, YOUR OBLIGATIONS, YOUR FEARS.

An Adult does not do this, an ADULT LOOKS AT THE PROBLEMS AND LAUGHS, because an ADULT SEES THOSE PROBLEMS AS CHALLENGES TO BE FACED IN THE CONTEXT OF THAT IT WILL BE DEAD SOON, BUT NOT BY WASTING THEIR ENERGY IN FIGHTING THE PROBLEM, AS THAT IS WHAT THE MIND OF A CHILD WANTS, TO CREATE EVEN MORE ANXIETY. AN ADULT SIMPLY SURPASSES ITS PROBLEMS BY MAKING THEM IRRELEVANT, GOING OVER THEM TO REMOVE THE MENTAL MIND FUCK OF THEM, SO IT DOES NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM – AN ADULT GETS BIGGER THAN THEIR PROBLEMS, SO THEY SHRINK AND DIE AS THEY REMOVE THEIR ATTENTION FROM THEM, SO STOP FEEDING THEM, MAKING THEM WORSE, BECAUSE REAL PROBLEMS ARE THE LADDER OF LIFE, THEY TEACH ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IMPORTANT STUFF.

This is what YOU need to learn how to do TODAY, this is what this whole post is about, BUT YOU MUST FIND AWAY TO READ THIS WITHOUT THE MINDSET OF A CHILD CONFUSING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, BECAUSE THAT MIND WILL STOP YOU UNDERSTANDING IT, stop you seeing even the most obvious bits, SO STOP YOU RELATING IT TO YOURSELF, TO YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE OF LIFE. That is what you are FIGHTING TODAY, you are not fighting your ANXIETIES, YOUR DAILY TROUBLES, YOUR COMFORTING PATTERN REACTIONS, you are FIGHTING YOURSELF AT A BASIC LEVEL OF ‘HOW YOUR MIND WORKS’, by going against what YOU WANT TO DO in ORDER TO FOLLOW AN EXTERNAL CLASS SYSTEM, as that is the only way to stop THINKING LIKE A CHILD.

You must SEE THIS CLEARLY, YOU MUST SEE YOU ‘OWN SELF SABOTAGE’ IN REAL-TIME in order TO STOP IT. 

YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM TODAY IS ‘YOU’, YOUR OPINIONS – THE ‘TINY MIND OF A CHILD’.

YOU MUST SEE THAT ‘IT’ IS A ‘FUCK UP’, WHICH WILL SEPARATE YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND FROM YOUR UNCONSCIOUS REACTIONS.

THIS CONSCIOUS MIND WILL BE A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR YOU, SO IT WILL BE EMPTY, AND YOU NEED TO FILL IT WITH A CLASS SYSTEM.

SO THINK ABOUT WHY THIS CLASS SYSTEM IS RIGHT, AND YOU ARE WRONG – TO ‘DISASSOCIATE’ FROM YOURSELF, SLOWLY, GRACEFULLY.

SEE THIS IS WHAT TO FIGHT YOURSELF MEANS, TO FIGHT YOUR CHILD IN ORDER TO SAVE THE ENERGY IT PISSES AWAY ON ‘REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’.

WHEN YOU DO THIS YOU WILL DISCOVER THE REAL PROBLEM – YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ELSE TO DO CAUSE NO ONE EVER TAUGHT YOU A CLASS SYSTEM.

YES, HOWEVER MUCH YOU WILL LAUGH AT ‘YOU THE FUCK UP’, YOU WILL RETURN TO BEING A FUCK UP IF YOU DON’T HAVE A BETTER CHOICE.

SO LEARN THIS MODERN CLASS SYSTEM OF ‘BETTER THAN’, OF ELITISM NOW, CAUSE ONE DAY YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING NEED IT…

SEE ELITISM IS KINDA COOL WHEN YOU CAN DO IT, CAUSE WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU, ITS ONLY SCARY WHEN YOU CAN’T… 

Please, don’t just give up at the first sign of difficulty, the first sentence where your scratch and sniff level of comprehension becomes a little cloudy, the first annoyance at a repeated or scary concept that reflects badly on you, as THAT IS WHAT YOU THE CHILD is using to desperately TRY TO STOP YOU UNDERSTANDING, to stop you remembering yourself, SO DON’T BE SHY ABOUT DOUBLING DOWN TO UNDERSTAND THOSE BITS, USE YOUR GIFTED INTUITION, the CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION YOU ONCE HAD A CHILD, and read it again, AND THEN AGAIN… It is amazing how many opportunities to be BETTER THAN you simply ‘BOTTLE’, HOW MANY SITUATIONS YOU SIMPLY DISMISS AS HARD, OR UNCOOL, OR SOME CRAP, simply because you don’t have the comforting pattern immediately, instinctively available, front of mind, SO JUST RUN AWAY while keeping up APPEARANCES.  

The issue of course is when someone is actually DROWNING it is not the best time to TEACH THEM HOW TO SWIM, when they want you to save them from themselves NOW or just fuck off so they can scream NEXT, BEFORE EVERYONE SLOWLY GETS THE MESSAGE THAT NOTHING IS LEFT WORTH SAVING – just too many miles on the clock, to many previous owners, no guts left in the bottom end, to many different chemicals needed to get it started, the brakes make a horrible screeching noise, with so many stains in the shagpile that won’t come out with anything other than a blowtorch. So you start to disappear, ‘rot away’ and so you are ‘put away’, before they ‘take you away’ to be ‘locked away’, as YOU DON’T HAVE THE CLASS NEEDED FOR ‘THE 2ND CHANCE OF LIFE’, the chance you will come to SO DESPERATELY CRAVE, and so bitterly regret…

But there YOU are, still thinking you are fresh out of the showroom, WHEN you are not, SO CHANGE IS INEVITABLE BABE, so you really SHOULD CHOOSE TO SEE IT, either now or ‘later’ – the FANTASY OF YOUTH HAS PASSED, along with many other things that once made up your ‘value’, you have got old, and BELIEVE IT OR BELIEVE IT NOT, ‘THE YOU’ looking back IN THE MIRROR AT AROUND 35+Y/O REMAINS THE NO1 SOURCE OF ALL DESIRE ‘TO GROW THE FUCK UP’, given we are grading on a bell curve of your ‘stereotype’, as you are far from unique, obviously, and this trip, like everything in THIS LIFE, is COMPETITIVE, so maybe check in on your ‘friends’… 

Yep, best start seeing it, before your eyes go and you realize that all your choices happened 5 years ago, but you were passed out in a tent as some festival next to group of strangers you can’t quite remember but who seemed nice at the time, just too high to notice anything other than ‘anxiety’, or….. ‘slightly less anxiety’. Then it may actually dawn on you what ‘YOLO’ actually fucking means, AS YOU ARE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE, DOROTHY – TEAM WORK DOES NOT MAKE THE DREAM WORK, just the opposite in fact, as there too many egos, to many lose lips sinking to many old ships, much as it can be very useful when you need to dump a body, BEST UNDERSTAND ‘PARASITES ARE NOT FRIENDLY’, so there ain’t much point in pleasing the little freaks, sorry. But that’s not you is it hun, YOUR BADASS, YOUR NOT ONE OF THE THOSE TERRIFIED LITTLE PEOPLE, ARE YOU?  

SEE it ain’t the age that gets ya in the end, ITS THE EXHAUSTING FANTASY THAT YOU ARE STILL A TEENAGER WHICH KILLS, from the INSIDE OUT, so learn ELITISM, LEARN WHY WE ARE ‘BETTER THAN YOU’, so you don’t have to be a fucked up little kid for the rest of your life, even if the only way YOU CAN START IS BY FEEDING YOUR ANXIETY DEMONS FIRST, then find a way forward after they have fallen asleep – THAT IS THE ‘WAY OF THE HEDONIST’. Just give the ‘Ayahuasca’ a skip eh, that’s just for gutless middle class cunts trying to be cool, cause they cannot generate ‘a CONSCIOUS SENSE OF URGENCY TO GROW UP’ – they have not realized that ‘TEMPUS FUGIT’ – your life is already at least half OVER, BECAUSE YOU HAVE GOT OLD, and staying a child is going to make you much older, far sooner than you thought…

The trick of course is to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND KEEP IT ON YOUR MIND, even in your dazed state, AS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT ‘BIG PICTURE’ IS ‘TO GROW THE FUCK UP’, and this is HOW YOU START, hopefully before you hit the ROCK BOTTOM OF ILLNESS, when your biology forces you to see YOURSELF FOR REAL. So slap that dark smile OF THE GIFTED in YOUR EYES, LEARN TO LOVE THAT URGE TOWARD NERVOUS LAUGHTER when faced with any challenge, SO YOU CAN LEARN WHAT IT IS TO ACTUALLY BE BADASS, TO ACT INSTEAD OF JUST REACT, instead of being one more fake little wanker.

See YOU MUST ‘KNOW THYSELF’, and to do that you must create a GAP IN YOUR NORMAL WALL OF MOOD DRIVEN REACTIONS BY STANDING AGAINST THOSE REACTIONS THAT FEEL SO GOOD OR SO BAD IN THE MOMENT THEY OCCUR, WHILST LESSENING THE POWER OF THEM. Once you try this a few times you will start to realize just how much apathy, even hatred YOU THE CHILD can generate in a moment toward even small, achievable STUFF YOU CONSCIOUSLY WANT THE RESULT OF NOW, and you will start to see what level of CHILDISH monster inside your mind you have created from the sheer level TENSION IT CAN CREATE IN YOU. The trick of course is to realize just how UNCONSCIOUS you feels about something CONCIOUS YOU wants IS POINTLESS BECAUSE ‘THAT SHIT IS NOT YOU’, YOUR ‘FALSE INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS’ ARE FUCKING USELESS IF THEY GO AGAINGST ‘WHAT YOU WANT’, O.B.V.I.O.U.S.L.Y….  

This what to be CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY means, what to be a child MEANS stupid – DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES A DAY YOU DO OR DON’T DO THINGS BASED ON THE UNBIDDEN, UNWANTED EMOTIONAL REACTION TO THE PROCESS OF DOING THEM RATHER THAN THE GOAL? Literally hundreds, but you think that is normal don’t ya bitch, YOU THINK TO HAVE AN UNCONSCIOUS MIND THAT WORKS AGAINST WHAT YOU WANT IN THE FUTURE IS WHO YOU ARE, you don’t understand that it makes you a ‘fuck up’, do you, you think that THAT TENSION SIGNATURE OF LIKES OR DISLIKES IS IN SOME WAY AUTHENTIC, USEFUL, COOL, GOOD, like one more dumb ass.

YEP – YOUR MOMENTARY TENSION/ANXIETY CONTROLS YOU, AND AFTER A WHILE YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO FEEL IT, BECAUSE IT HAS ‘CONDITIONED YOU TO REACT AUTOMATICALLY’. Then its just a simple matter for YOUR UNCONSCIOUS CHILD to use some combo of urgency/distraction/fridge blindness to get you to do even the obvious DUMB SHIT, which conscious YOU just shrugs off as being ACCIDENT PRONE, or the like, CAUSE YOU ARE STILL PRETENDING TO HAVE GROWN UP. But you did not, did you, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN FACE THAT, SO CHOOSE TO DENY TO YOURSELF THAT THIS IS HOW YOU WORK, its all a fucking blur to you eh, your memory is barely functioning one day to the next, let alone one month ago, 1 year ago, you just vaguely know some key events ‘happened’, but not a clue what it felt like at the time – YOU FORGET YOU ARE PRETENDING.

See it is not STILL FEELING LIKE A CHILD that REALLY FUCKS YOU, not even YOUR ‘LEARNT’ COPING REACTIONS TO FEELING LIKE A CHILD, not even that YOU NEED TO PRETEND THAT YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE A CHILD, AND ALL OF THESE COPING REACTIONS ARE IN SOME WAY JUSTIFIED. No, WHAT TURNS YOU INTO A HOPELESS FUCK UP IS THE HABIT OF YOUR CONDITIONING MAKES YOU FORGET ALL OF THIS in real time – THE HABIT OF REPEATING YOUR CONDITIONED RESPONSES MAKES THE WHOLE PROCESS OF FELT ANXIETY FOLLOWED BY COMFORTING REACTIONS TO ANXIETY LITERALLY DISAPPEAR CONSCIOUSLY, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO DO, TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, NUMB. So even your ability to FILTER YOUR CONDITIONED RESPONSES ONLY HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE A STRONG ENOUGH OPPOSING FEAR TO ‘STOP YOURSELF’, most often experienced as ‘SELF-CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT’, BUT EVEN THAT HAPPENS VERY, VERY RARELY…

YES – YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE A CHILD AS AN ADULT, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN UNCONSCIOUS ENEMY OF LEARNT PATTERN REACTONS THAT INTERFERS WITH EVERYTHING YOU WANT CONSCOUSLY, but the reason YOU ARE A FUCK UP is THAT YOU FORGET ALL OF THIS IN THE MOMENT, BECAUSE IT WORKS EMOTIONALLY – YOU FEEL BETTER. This is why YOU THINK YOU HAVE GROWN UP, WHEN YOU HAVE NOT, INDEED THIS FAKE VERSION OF GROWING UP ‘WORKS FOR YOU’, MUCH AS IF YOU HAD TO LIVE LIKE A WILD ANIMAL YOU WOULD BE LONG DEAD ALREADY, as you ain’t going to live long pretending to be adult whilst actually BEING A GUTLESS, DELUSIONAL PUSSY WHO IS OBVIOUSLY FAKING IT. 

But DON’T ‘GEEK OUT’, don’t react to this WITH ANOTHER POINTLESS COPING PATTERN – ‘Take Heart’, even though you are a Fuck Up who does not FEEL LIKE A CHILDISH FUCK UP IN REAL TIME, you can easily feel that the main symptom of THIS CONDITION IS PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL TENSION, THAT IS WHERE ALL OF THESE DELUSIONS GET STORED IN YOU, HOW ‘AN UNCONSCIOUS SENSE OF URGENCY CONTROLS YOU’ VIA OFFERING ‘RELIEF FROM THAT OVERWHELMING TENSION’. See no one can throw a switch in themselves to SIMPLY RESET THEIR MIND WITHOUT HUGE EXTERNAL SHOCKS, but you CAN FIND WAYS TO TURN DOWN THE VOLUME OF YOUR TENSION LEVELS, BY SIMPLY MAKING YOURSELF CONSCIOUS OF THEM, of how fucked up you are, and that will help you start to SEE YOURSELF.

SO YOU ARE REALLY GOING TO NEED ‘TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT’ at the start, BUT FIRST lets get you on the horse – ACCEPT THIS NOW:

YOU ARE A CHILD WHO DOES NOT WANT TO GROW UP BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ALREADY HAVE – SO YOU PRETEND.

SEE IF YOU DID NOT PRETEND YOU WOULD HAVE TO FACE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A WEAK, CHILDISH ‘FUCK UP’ IN PUBLIC.

BUT IT IS NOT THAT ‘YOU ARE BROKEN OR DAMAGED’, IT IS THAT YOU ARE NOT ‘FINISHED YET’, YOU ARE ‘INCOMPLETE’.

YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR ‘CONSCIOUS SENSORY APPARATUS’ IS UNDER DEVELOPED, AND THEN DEVELOP IT.

SO UNDERSTAND NOW THAT ‘THE UNCONSCIOUS APPARATUS OF A CHILD’ STILL OWNS EVERY FUCKING THING YOU DO.

THEN STOP PRETENDING AND START TO SEE, TO SELF-TALK TO ‘YOU THE CHILD’ AS THE SILLY LITTLE ‘DOER UPPER’ IT OBVIOUSLY IS.

THE ROUTINE USE OF THIS SIMPLE DEVICE WILL GO A LONG WAY TO SEPARATING ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’, FROM CHILDISH ‘NOT YOU’.

AND THEN YOU CAN START YOUR ‘2ND CHANCE AT LIFE’, LIKE A GROWN UP… 

You do this in the full knowledge that it makes no difference to the world if ‘YOU MAKE IT OR NOT’, that no one else gives a shit, BUT YOU DO – YOU HAVE REALIZED YOU WANT MORE THAN ‘THIS LIFE OF TAME, MIDDLECLASS MEDICORITY’ indeed this QUEST IS NOW ‘THE POINT OF YOU’. So YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE NOT THEM, YOU ARE NOT ONE MORE STEREOTYPICAL ‘LITTLE CONSUMER’, STUGGLING TO FEEL A BIT BETTER TODAY. Therefore ‘YOU WANT TO FEEL SPECIAL’, completely different than before, than a confused little kid, to be ‘BETTER THAN’ THEM, AS A CURE FOR YOUR CHILDISH ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ OF ‘BEING MADE TO FEEL’ SO MUCH ‘WORSE THAN’ THEM, beaten into you as a kid, so long ago you have forgotten it…

That means YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL, so you are NOT LIKE THEM, THEY ARE ‘THE HERD’, YOU ARE AN ORIGINAL COMBINATION, GREATER THAN THE SUM OF ITS PARTS, and just like all the individuals THAT CAME BEFORE YOU, that you read about, that you idolized, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS, THAN WHAT ‘YOU ARE NOW’ BY ACCIDENT, NEGLECT and ‘STUPIDITY’. Indeed, on closer examination you may well be VERY surprised to see that large parts of your SECRET life consist of this exact same ETHOS, of this exact same drive to ‘FEEL BETTER THAN’ (for a moment), just played out at the sad little level of A CHILDISH FUCK UP who knows no better, as no one told ya the detail of this (not so) SECRET PATH, because we are all equal now, so the bits of life that only a few can do are actually fucking BANNED…

See RIGHT NOW YOU THINK ‘Attention is Love’, ‘Jealousy is Affection’, ‘Control is Caring’, ‘Disrespect is Cool’, ‘Silence is Peace’, ‘Toxicity is Passion’, ‘Drama is Excitement’, ‘Fear is Loyalty’, ‘Hearing is Knowing’, and the ‘Bare Minimum is actually Trying’, with even creepier shit to come. Ahh but you don’t THINK THOSE THINGS DO YOU, you just ‘FEEL THEM’ TO ‘BE TRUE AS A REACTION TO ANXIETY’ LIKE A KID, because you have never overpowered them, and therefore YOU NEVER SAW WHAT IS BEHIND THEM, when you actually were a kid. See that is how KIDS come out of the box at an animal level of consciousness, and given the protection of the family unit, of the herd, this state of mind is designed to get you to puberty in 1 piece, WHEN ACTUAL THINKING TAKES OVER, AND ‘THE USE OF CHILDISH FEELING IN DECISION MAKING’ IS REPLACED.

But you are STUCK THERE, waiting to be saved, much as you could never admit to any of them in ‘polite society’, because folks would know you are STILL A DELUSIONAL LITTLE CHILD, SO YOU HAVE TO PRETEND YOU ARE NOT FEELING/THINKING THAT KIDDIE SHIT, just to FIT IN with the current ‘social media fashion’, the GEN-Z disease of ‘virtue signaling wokeness for likes’, and keep all of your FUN FEELINGS secret, like a ‘baddie’, whatever the fuck that is, trotting out YOUR DOG WHISTLES at every conversational opportunity, whilst hoping to slip away to the toilet and get your ‘Buzz On’ so you can find the courage to ask an obvious and already answered questioned in the next teams meeting, blissfully unaware of the older and wiser ‘eye rolls’ around you, CAUSE HEY, YOU’RE THAT FUCKING ‘CLEVER IN SECRET’, just not so much in public…

SO HERE LIES THE KEY TO THIS WHOLE POST, RIGHT AT THE START, WHICH THE WORST OF YOU HAVE TO REALIZE RIGHT FUCKING NOW, OR READING THIS POST IS SIMPLY GOING TO MAKE YOU EVEN WORSE THAN THE TOXIC, SELF DESTRUCTIVE LITTLE FREAK SHOW YOU ALREADY ARE – you think what happened in your CHILDHOOD amounted in some unknown way to ‘GROWING UP BY DEFAULT’, perhaps connected with the little you remember about the arrival of your sexual maturity, but if you actually GREW UP YOU WOULD FUCKING REMEMBER IT AS AN EVENT, because you are never the same again afterwards…

See NOBODY TOLD YOU GROWING OUT OF YOUR CHILDISH MIND STATE WAS ‘A RITE OF PASSAGE’ THAT CHANGES YOU FOREVER, so you are stuck in the mindstate of a 13y/o girl, sometime after the last time your bio-chemistry changed SUBSTANTIALLY, but YOU THINK THAT IS NORMAL – TO BE STUCK IN ‘THE INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ OF A KID, ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE MIND TRAPS IN THE WHOLE EXTRAVANGZA OF MENTAL COMPLEXES, AS IT HAS CREATED ALL ‘YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS’ AND THEN MADE ‘YOU A SLAVE TO THEM’ AS A REACTION TO ANXIETY.

BE VERY CLEAR, SO CAN EVALUATE WHAT THIS POST IS ACTUALLY ABOUT AND PREPARE YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY NOW – if you had GROWN UP and GROWN OUT of your INFERIORITY COMPLEX, then you would no longer GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR ANXIETIES, indeed you would actually LIKE THEM, as you would SEE THEM AS ‘CHALLENGES’ instead, but YOU can’t really do challenge at all, CAN YOU, BECAUSE OF YOUR PETTY LITTLE ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’. 

YOU ARE TRAPPED IN THE MIND OF A CHILD: 

YOU CANNOT THINK YOUR WAY OUT OF THE MINDSTATE OF CHILD WITH THE FAKE CHARACTER OF A CHILD, BECAUSE IT IS CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY! 

INDEED READING THIS POST WILL MAKE THAT ‘NO CHARACTER’ EVEN MORE ANXIOUS THAN NOW, SO THE TRAP WILL GET EVEN TIGHTER THAN IT IS.

YOU MUST STOP THINKING ABOUT ANXIETY WITH YOUR LEARNT REACTIONS TO ANXIETY, AND LIFT YOURSELF OUT OF IT BY THINKING OTHER THOUGHTS.

THAT MEANS YOU MUST FIGHT YOUR FAKE CHARACTER TO GET ‘THE MENTAL ENERGY’ BACK YOU NEED TO ESCAPE ITS TOTAL CONTROL OVER YOU.

SO BE PREPARED TO DISOWN, DISSASSCOIATE FROM YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR PAST, YOUR ROUTINE PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOUR FOR ‘BETTER THAN’ THAT.

 YOU ARE A ‘FUCK UP’, AND YOU WILL FUCK UP FOLLOWING EVEN THE VERY BEST ADVICE, UNLESS YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT ANXIETY, SURPASSING IT.

BE CLEAR – THE FAKE CHARACTER OF A CHILD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO GET BETTER, SO IT WILL CONTINUALLY PULL YOU BACK DOWN TO NOTHING.

YES – KNOW A FUCK UP CANNOT TRUST ITSELF OR THE TRASH AROUND IT, IT CAN ONLY TRUST AN EXTERNAL CLASS SYSTEM DESIGNED TO HELP IT.

SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR EH, WHILE YOU STILL CAN, BE SCARED OF ME INSTEAD, AS I’M WAY SCARIER THAN YOU WILL EVER LIVE TO BE AND IT MAY JUST GIVE YOU ENOUGH ENERGY TO START TO ‘THINK ON’ – YOU NEED EMOTIONAL ENERGY TO CHANGE, SO HATING ME AS A PROJECTION OF YOUR OWN SELF HATRED IS AS GOOD A PLACE TO START AS ANY, EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT THAT BAD. RIGHT NOW ENERGY WEAKNESS IS THE REAL FIGHT YOU NEED TO WIN, OR ALL OF MY GENIUS WILL BE WASTED AS YOU FALL INTO ‘A LIFE OF REGRET’, OF KNOWING WHAT TO DO, WHILST BEING UNABLE TO DO IT…

AND YES, I DON’T GIVE THE SMALLEST FUCK WHAT YOU THINK OF ME, OF US, OF ELITISM, OF CLASS SYSTEMS – YOU ARE A CHILD WHO THINKS IN EVER CHANGING PATTERNS OF FEAR DRIVEN GIBBERISH, WHILST FEEDING THIER ADDICTION TO ANXIETY LIKE A GUTLESS CUNT. YOU ARE A FUCK UP, SO COME SEE ME WHEN YOU HAVE GROWN UP SOME, EH BITCH, OTHERWISE TALKING TO YOU IS SIMPLY LISTENING TO THE TEDIOUS, LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT OF YOUR CREEPY PATTERNS OF ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’ – SEE IT NOW, YOU ARE #CRINGE, CAUSE YOU ARE A DELUSIONAL ‘FUCK UP’, SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT IN SOME WAY COOL, THAT IS JUST ONE OF YOUR MANY CHILDHOOD COMPLEXES FUCKING YOUR MIND, AND HENCE YOUR WHOLE LIFE OVER, AGAIN…

THE TRICK TO A LONG AND POWERFUL LIFE IS HAVING THE ENERGY LEFT TO ‘LIVE IT’.

BEING STUCK AS ‘AN UNRECONSTRUCTED CHILD’ WILL ‘DESTROY THAT ENERGY’ BEFORE YOUR 30’S.

SO YOUR LIFE BECOMES THE ‘MEANINGLESS ECHOES OF PASSED GLORIES’ THAN NEVER EVEN FUCKING HAPPENED.

AND THEN YOU WILL GET SICK, DEPRESSED, LOST, CONFUSED, BUT WORST OF ALL ‘YOU WILL FALL INTO SHADOW’, AND THEN YOU ARE GONE…

AND ITS NOT EVEN YOUR FAULT, SO TRY AND GET THIS NOW – YOU ARE ‘FUCK UP’ = YOU ‘UNDERPERFOM’ YOURSELF IN REPETITIVE CYCLES BECAUSE ‘IT FEELS BETTER’. YOU ARE A FUCK UP BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE ‘THE COMFORT’ OF EGO-SAFETY OVER ‘THE CHALLENGE’ OF PAINFUL REALITY. SEE YOU ARE A FUCK UP, SO HAVE WAY, WAY LESS THAN THEY SHOULD DO, BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO BE A FUCK UP BY REMAINING A CHILD, A BIG KID.

A CHILD IS STUCK IN THE UNCONSCIOUS CONDITIONING OF A CHILD, TO BE CONTROLLED BY ‘URGES’, BY URGENT FEELING.

THE TRIGGER FOR THOSE URGES IS NOW INVISIBLE TO YOU, EVEN THE URGE ITSELF FADES FAST, SO ‘YOU DON’T KNOW YOURSELF’.

SO YOU, YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS ONLY GETS INVOLVED TO SUFFER ‘THE JUSTIFICATION’ OR ‘THE FALL OUT’ OF THAT CHOICE, AFTERWARDS.

SEE A CHILD DOES ‘NOT WANT TO RESULT OF ITS ACTIONS’, A CHILD JUST WANTS THE FEELING OF THE PROCESS, SO ‘A CHILD FUCKS UP’…  

Understand, you are SUPPOSED TO GROW UP IN ORDER TO REACH YOUR POTENTIAL AND STOP FUCKING UP, or YOU GO MAD, as GROWING UP IS BIOLOGICAL, ITS HARDWIRED IN YOUR BRAIN – WILD ANIMALS HAVE TO GROW UP IN ORDER TO SURVIVE! But in a very real sense your society protects you from growing up, so GROWING UP HAS BECOME OPTIONAL, with the ancient religious CLASS systems THAT FORCED IT AS ‘A RITE OF PASSAGE’ BECOMING ‘BAD’, as they define people by RANK, just like nature does, BECAUSE WE ALL EXIST IN A WORLD DOMINATED BY EVOLUTION OR DEVOLUTION…

See the reason GROWING UP is HAS BECOME SUCH AN ISSUE is that all CHILDREN, WILD OR OTHERWISE HAVE ‘TO BE FORCED TO GROW UP’ – no child would ever choose to grow up, ALL CHILDREN WANT TO BE PROTECTED FROM PAIN, but NO ADULT WOULD EVER CHOOSE TO GO BACK TO THE VICTIMHOOD OF CHILDHOOD, BECAUSE THEY NOW KNOW THAT A CHILD WILL FUCK UP IN THE REALWORLD VIA THE CONSTANT PROTECTION FROM ANXIETY IT CRAVES…  

SO THE VAST MARJORITY OF ‘YOUR LIFE’, YOUR ‘MANIFEST DESTINY’ IS ‘MIA’, BECAUSE YOU BOTTLED CHILDHOOD.

SEE THE REASON YOU PRETEND TO HAVE GROWN UP IS BECAUSE YOU CAN’T FACE THE ‘FAILURE OF YOUR CHILDHOOD’.

SO YOUR VERSION OF GROWING UP WAS TO ‘FORGET ANXIETY’ INSTEAD OF ‘FACING IT DOWN’ AND BEATING IT, IN THE NOW.

MANY OF YOU DID NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT CHILDHOOD WAS A TEST YOU HAD TO PASS, SO YOU JUST TRIED TO SURVIVE ANXIETY…

YES, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, SO FORGIVE YOURSELF NOW, BUT REMEMBER WHAT YOU ARE UP AGAINST – SELF HATRED MADE TO LOOK COOL.

AND IF YOU EXAMINE YOURSELF MENTALLY YOU WILL QUICKLY DISCOVER THAT ‘YOU DON’T CARE’, THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW – SEE FOR A CHILD NOT CARING IS ABOUT RUNNING AWAY FROM ANXIETY, AND THAT IS HOW YOU KNOW YOU’RE A GUTLESS CUNT WHO FAILED CHILDHOOD.

BUT THE ULTIMATE TEST IS SIMPLY THIS –

DO YOU STILL HAVE ANY ‘INDIVIDUAL’ GOALS, THE ONES YOU WANTED AS A KID?

OR IS YOUR LIFE JUST ABOUT ‘SURVIVING ANXIETY’ AND FEELING A BIT BETTER TODAY BY ‘CONSUMING’?

SEE ITS NOT ABOUT WHAT ‘YOU THINK’, ITS ABOUT WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ‘DO’ – DO YOU ‘LIVE’ OR ‘JUST EXIST’? 

SEE IT DOES NOT MATTER that you are a ‘HAPPY’ FUCK UP, that you are ‘SAFE’, ‘COMFORTUABLE’ IN THE ‘NOW’- A FUCK UP IS ‘TOTALLY UNAWARE’ THAT THEY ARE FUCK UP, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE ‘STILL’ A FUCK UP, MANY YEARS LATER. This is the CORE ISSUE FOR SO MANY OF YOU, because you think that being a FUCK UP, THAT BEING SELF DESTRUCTIVE, in the ‘LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG AND LEAVE A GOOD LOOKING CORPSE’ fantasy IS COOOOOOOLLLLLLLL, and therefore actually ‘ASPIRATIONAL’ – ITS A TRAP…

CHILDHOOD IS A ‘MENTAL TRAP’ AS IT ‘COMFORTS YOU’!

A CHILD ‘CAN’T THINK’ SO IS CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY IN ORDER TO LEARN VIA PATTERNS OF IMITATION – ITS A NATURAL, TEMPORARY ‘STATE OF MIND’. 

AN ADULT GROWS OUT OF THAT STATE OF MIND TO ‘THINK FOR ITSELF’, SO IT CAN DECIDE ‘GOOD AND BAD’ AGAINST WHAT IT WANTS CONSCIOUSLY.

BUT IF AN ADULT DOES NOT GROW UP IT REMAINS DOMINATED BY UNCONSCIOUS PATTERN REACTIONS TO ANXIETY IT WAS TAUGHT/LEARNT, AS A KID.

SO YOUR CHILD OWNS YOU, ONLY CARING ABOUT FEELING LESS ANXIETY NOW, BUT THE ADULT HAS TO DEAL WITH THE RESULTS OF THAT CHOICE…

OBVIOUS EH? SADLY NOT… BECAUSE YOUR CHILD HIDES IN YOUR UNCONSCIOUS, SO ‘YOU’ THINK YOU ACTUALLY MAKE DECISIONS…

But so what eh, you don’t care.. YOU ARE THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW, and that’s NORMAL, RIGHT? No, its just THAT BEING A FUCK UP has become USUAL, because your society wants it that way – YOUR SOCIETY WANTS SLAVES, BUT YOUR SOCIETY HAS REGRESSED, AS THAT FAKENESS, THAT DEGENERENCY WAS THE PRICE OF EQUALITY VS ELITISIM, so folks like me don’t live in your society, cause we know what it is – A ZOO, WHERE EQUALITY DUMBS YOU DOWN, INSTEAD OF LIFTING YOU UP, AS ‘THE PATIENTS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE ASLYLUM’.

The best way to see it is simple – YOU SACRIFICED WHAT YOU ONCE WANTED TO BE JUST TO FEEL BETTER IN CHILDHOOD, so the PRICE OF THAT WAS EVERYTHING YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AS AN ADULT, SO YOU CHOSE TO BECOME LESS, AS IT FELT BETTER, SAFER AT THE TIME. Worse, THAT SACRIFICE WAS FOR NOTHING, BECAUSE THE MECHANSIMS OF COMFORT FROM ANXIETY DON’T EVEN WORK, they just make you DELUSIONAL, so you ‘THINK’ THEY WORK FOR A WHILE, but as you age you discover they don’t, you get worse instead – the mind state of childhood is supposed to be temporary, like the ‘mindstate of a baby’…

And all of this is TOTALLY UN-NATURAL, like you…

IF GIFTED YOUR LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO ‘BE ART’, AN AESTHETIC EXPERIENCE FILLED WITH ADVENTURES THAT ‘DEVELOP YOU’, AS THE TOP OF YOUR SOCIETY HAS KNOW FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, THE HISTORY PAGES ARE FULL OF SUCH PEOPLE, THE GREAT, THE GOOD, AND THE DANGEROUS TO KNOW.

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO REVEL IN THE POWER OF YOUR QUALITY, YOUR EXCELLENCE, FEELING THE EFFECT YOUR PRESENCE HAS BOTH ON YOU AND THE WORLD AROUND YOU IN THE MOMENT, AS YOU ARE DIFFERENT, SPECIAL TO THEM, TO THE HERD, WHO ONLY SEEK TO DRAG YOU BACK AND DOWN.

BUT YOU CHOSE THE LIFE OF A FUCK UP IN CHILDHOOD, CHOSE TO BE ‘A DOG ON A LEAD’, TORTURED BY YOUR PETTY ANXIETIES ABOUT YOUR PETTY SHITE, YET HAPPY TO DREAM ABOUT CHASING BUNNIES, with THE ODD SCOOBIE SNACK AND A TUMMY RUB, AS THAT MAKES IT BEARABLE.

SO YOU ARE FUCK UP, BECAUSE YOU ARE A GUTLESS CUNT, YET YOU THINK THIS CUL-DE-SAC OF CHILDHOOD YOU ARE STUCK IN IS ALL THERE IS…   

See you don’t understand WHY YOU ARE ‘FUCK UP’ IN THE MOMENT OF FUCKING UP, WHY YOU ‘INSTINCTLY’ WANT TO FUCK UP AND GO THROUGH WITH THAT FUCK UP BECAUSE YOU DON’T SEE IT AS FUCKING UP ‘AT THE TIME’. THE PROCESS OF SHORT TERM PLEASURE, (RELIEF FROM ANXIETY) AS A FEELING TOTALLY OVERWHELMS ANY ASSESSMENT OF THE RESULT OF THAT PROCESS AS A FEELING, SO YOU DON’T EVEN CONSIDER THE RESULT OF YOUR ACTIONS AT ALL IN THE MOMENT, JUST ‘THE EXCITEMENT IN THE NOW’, UNLESS YOU ARE INSTINCTLY SCARED OF THE RESULT, and even then not so much…

Now I never used to explain why this is as part of the FAILURE TO GROW UP ‘DISCUSSION’, but on the advice of a Frenchwoman I will also use below for several other examples RELATING TO THE DARKER ‘LOST SOUL’ BEHAVIOUR PATTERNS, today I’m going to spell it out to you, EVEN THOUGH EVEN YOU WILL ‘HOPEFULLY’ SEE THAT IT IS FUCKING OBVIOUS – THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE ‘MISSING’:

But first to qualify it – over the last few decades there has been extensive research into what really makes the difference between kids growing up into successful, powerful ADULTS and what makes them degenerate into childish fuck ups, to the weak and stupid, to the mentally ill, all the way to full blown drug addicts, street whores, the folks who self harm for fun. Barring all the obvious stuff about their environment and the postcode lottery of where and how they grew up, ONE FACTOR DOMINATES SO MUCH THAT IT CAN ACTUALLY FIX MOST OF THE OTHERS ISSUES, AND SHOULD BY NOW BE TAUGHT ‘FORMALLY’ IN SCHOOL, cause most parents won’t do it. It is by no means ALL OF GROWING UP, but it is the ROOT FACTOR THAT ALLOWS FOLKS TO GROW UP ‘IF THEY WANT’, and without IT THEN GROWING UP USUALLY REQUIRES environmental ‘SHOCKS’ that most kids are WAY TOO protected from these days, SO MOST KIDS NEVER NEED THESE ‘INSTINCTIVE PATTERNS’ TO SURVIVE:

THE KEY IS TO LEARN TO ‘DELAY GRATIFICATION’ IN THE ‘MOMENT OF DECISION’ FOR A ‘BETTER OUTCOME IN THE FUTURE’.

OVERALL THIS TEACHES KIDS ‘HOW TO MAKE DECISIONS CONSCIOUSLY’, RATHER THAN UNCONSCIOUSLY, INSTINCTIVELY.

THE VALUE OF THIS PROCESS IS THAT IS TEACHES YOU ‘HOW TO BREAK’ THE NATURAL, ‘FEAR DRIVEN CONDITIONING OF A CHILD’.

SEE WITHOUT ‘THE INSTINCT TO QUESTION YOURSELF’, VIA ‘A PROCESS OF CONSCIOUS CHOICE’, YOU ARE JUST ‘A SLAVE TO FEAR’.

Now the reason I am telling you this, long after you should have been taught it, long after your EGO-SAFETY HAS SET AND THEREFORE DISAPPEARED FROM YOUR MIND AS THE TRIGGER FOR ALL YOUR CHILDLKE REACTIONS TO FEAR,  so long after this information is USEFUL WITHOUT HUGE SHOCKS DRIVING YOU TO NEED TO LEARN IT, FAST, is that you need to UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE OBLIVIOUS TO BEING A FUCK UP, WHOS WHOLE  BLOODY LIFE, GOOD, BAD AND INDIFFERENT IS ALMOST COMPLETLY ‘LUCK DRIVEN’ – EVERYTHING IS THE RANDOM CHANCE OF YOUR FEAR DRIVEN PATTERNS MEETING REALITY, EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY. You, conscious YOU simply has no impact on your life, which is why nothing ever really changes in terms of your ‘lifecycles’…

See the lack of this SKILL, TAUGHT AND LEARNT AS AN IMPLANTED, ‘INSTINCTIVE REACTION’ IN RESPONSE TO SET CIRCUMSTANCE, means this:

A ‘FUCK UP’ DOES NOT MAKE ‘CONSCIOUS DECISIONS’ UNLESS FORCED TOO EXTERNALLY, SO THEY ALMOST NEVER MAKE THEM.

SEE YOU THINK YOUR EGO IS ‘TRUSTWORTHY’, BUT IT IS A COLLECTION OF ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’ DESIGNED ‘TO PROTECT A CHILD’ FROM ANXIETY ‘NOW’.

ALL YOUR STUPID DECISIONS ARE MADE FOR YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY, BASED ON REACTIONS TO ANXIETY, AND YOU JUST RATIONALIZE THEM AFTERWARDS.

THAT IS WHAT A FUCK UP IS – A SELF WILLED CHILD, CHASING PLEASURE AND AVOIDING PAIN, LIKE A BASIC BITCH, AND YET HAVING NO REAL IDEA THAT IS WHAT THERE WHOLE LIFE CONSISTS OF, YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND CONTROLS YOU VIA ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’ – ‘YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND IS ASLEEP’.

SO YOUR EGO SABOTAGES CONSCIOUS YOU IN REALTIME, BY SEEKING PLEASURE AS RELIEF AS A PROCESS, INSTEAD OF THE RESULT YOU WANT.

BUT THE HARDEST BIT TO UNDERSTAND IS THAT TO ‘CHASE RELIEF FROM ANXIETY’ – PLEASURE – YOUR EGO MUST FIRST CHASE ANXIETY.

SO YOU MUST ACCEPT THE CONCEPT OF YOUR UNCONSCIOUS SELF-SABOTAGE OF YOUR CONSCIOUS SELF, SO YOU ‘HAVE A PLACE TO START’…  

OK, so YOU DON’T AGREE WITH THAT, you think you have some depth of character, some ability to think, and much as you are probably right, YOU ALMOST NEVER USE IT – you never use it because you are missing THE 3 CRUCIAL PATTERNS THAT MAKE UP THE ABILITY TO CHOOSE, TO THINK FOR YOUSELF IN THE MOMENT, the 3 patterns that make up how a CHILD LEARNS TO ‘DELAY GRATIFICATION’, AND EVEN IF YOU HAVE 1 OF THEM, EVEN 2, WITH OUT ALL 3 OF THEM WORKING TOGTHER IN ‘THE INSTANT OF CHOICE’, they won’t work, and your FEAR DRIVEN CONDITIONING WILL WIN, every fucking time BECAUSE YOU HAVE FETISHIZED REALITY, you only use BITS OF IT YOU KNOW BY ACCIDENT OR SUIT YOUR LEARNT PREFERENCES : 

So I’m going to SPELL this out for you, so YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T DO but you fucking SHOULD DO, and then as per the advice of said Frenchwoman, THE WORST OF YOU, THE PROPER TRAINWRECKS, WILL HAVE A PLACE TO START TO SEE THAT YOU, sitting there and reading this right now ARE A ‘FUCK UP’, WHO IS ONLY EVER CONTROLLED BY INSTINCTIVE FEAR VIA YOUR LEARNT PATTERN REACTIONS TO THAT FEAR, but which you think are DESIRES. 

1. TO INSTINCTIVELY DOUBT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IN THE MOMENT ON THE BASIS OF THERE MAYBE SOMETHING BETTER AVAILABLE LATER IF YOU DON’T DO IT, AS A PATTERN REACTION THAT AUTOMATICALLY KICKS IN TO STOP YOU AND FORCE YOU TO CONSCIOUSLY CONSIDER AGAINST UNCONSCIOUS INSTINCT.
   • This is simply the implantation of a ‘knee jerk’ reaction to stop any ’emotional weighted desire’ that feels urgent in the moment but which is not actually urgent in a hand in the flame sense of it, so you can catch the trigger for the desire, and see WHY YOU WANT TO DO IT, as that ‘hidden trigger’ will TRY MUCH HARDER AFTER IT HAS BEEN STOPPED A FEW TIMES, and so will be much easier to see – IT WILL BE MUCH LOUDER AND SO BREAK THROUGH INTO CONSCIOUSNESS.
2. TO EMOTIONALLY EVALUATE THE ALTERNATIVES IN THE FUTURE AGAINST WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NOW AND SO BRING THE FUTURE RESULT INTO THE NOW FOR REAL, SO YOU FEEL IT IN THE SAME WAY YOU FEEL THE DESIRE YOU WANT TO DO NOW, AND MAKE IT MUCH EASIER TO COMPARE AND DECIDE AGAINST THE PETTY NEEDS OF THE MOMENT.
   • Currently your perspective on any future alternative is dead emotionally, so unreal to you, as it has no weight against what you to do now, SO YOU MUST FIX THIS BY FEELING THE FUTURE DESIRE AS REAL NOW, like it is ‘happening now’, USING IMAGINATION TO CREATE THAT FEELING, EVOKING IT, so it can effectively compete against the petty needs of the now. Without this trick even if you do stop yourself any future option will seem 2D, distant and dead to you, so you will just go back to what you want now.
3. TO WANT TO SUFFER THE DENIAL OF WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NOW IN TERMS OF PAYING FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IN THE FUTURE, SO IT BECOMES A PLEASURE, EITHER AGAINST THE MORE SUFFERING YOU WILL SUFFER LATER IF YOU DON’T SUFFER LESS NOW, OR THE EXCITEMENT OF ACTUALLY BECOMING THAT FUTURE VIA THAT SUFFERING, AS THEY ARE DIRECTLY LINKED IN THE MOMENT OF BRINGING THE FUTURE INTO THE NOW. 
   • Of all these 3 skills, your skill at doing this will make the most difference to YOU ABILITY TO GROW UP, as the first 2 are enablers of this, much as you will never get to this stage without them, but WITHOUT PERFECTING SUFFERING AS PLEASUREABLE YOU WON’T GET THE BENEFIT OF THE EFFORT REQUIRED TO DO THEM. This process of paying FOR WHAT YOU WANT WITH EMOTIONAL ENERGY UNDERPINS MOST OF THE START OF ALL SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT, so learning early works wonders.

So now you know THE SKILLS THAT YOU LACK INSTINCTIVELY, THE PATTERNS THAT SHOULD OF BEEN BEATEN INTO YOU AS A CHILD EITHER BY YOU PARENTS OR BY CIRCUSMTANCE AS A KID, so now you KNOW WHY YOU ARE FUCK UP – NO ONE TAUGHT YOU HOW TO GROW UP, THEY SIMPLY CONDITIONED YOU VIA ANXIETY INSTEAD AND NOW YOU ARE STUCK WITH IT.

I won’t explicitly return to the DELAYED GRATIFICATION CONCEPT AGAIN FOR THIS WHOLE POST, however I will expect you KNOW THIS, so knowing this will act as a reference point to explain WHY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN INSTINCTIVELY, but you can understand what you don’t understand if you return to these 3 Patterns and RELATE WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND TO THEM, OTHERWISE YOU WILL NEVER GRASP THE CONCEPT OF SELF-SABOTAGE OF YOUR FEEL GOOD PATTERNS REACTION TO ANXIETY, you will always think they are ‘good for you’ in the moment, SO GROWING UP LOOKS TO YOU LIKE A PROCESS OF ‘DENIAL’, INSTEAD OF A QUESTION OF SEEING ‘THE TOTAL STUPIDITY OF GIVING INTO YOUR REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’…

SO YOU WILL REMAIN AN AXIOUS FUCK UP, LOST IN A ‘MOOD SWING’…

YOU WANT ‘THE FEELING’ OF THE PROCESS OF REACTING AS A COMFORTER IN THE NOW, ‘TO FEEL BETTER’,

BUT YOU ACTUALLY GET ‘THE RESULT’ OF THAT PROCESS, ‘TO FUCK UP’, WHICH YOU DON’T EVEN SEE IN THE NOW,

AND SO ALL OF ‘THIS LIFE’ WILL BE FOR NOTHING for the ‘WORST OF YOU’, BECAUSE YOU WILL REMAIN A SLAVE TO ANXIETY,

And all because you VALUE BEING NUMB MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, CAUSE YOU ARE THAT STUPID = BLIND TO ‘YOUR REALITY’.

See IN REALITY YOUR MOODS ARE MEANINGLESS, SELF INDULGENT WANKING OFF ABOUT THE PAST, TOTALLY USELESS AND IRRELEVANT NOW.

BUT EVEN READING THIS YOU ARE STUCK IN THEM, CAUSE YOU STILL TAKE REACTIONS SERIOUSLY AS THE BASELINE OF YOUR TRUTH, LIKE A DICKHEAD. 

And before you go all Woe is Me, ‘my childhood was shit so I’m fucked’, DON’T – I WAS NEVER TAUGHT THESE PATTERNS, VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE IN THE MODERN ERA OF THIS PLANET, I LEARNT THEM THE HARDWAY, BECAUSE I WAS SHOCKED INTO THEM, HARD, so I KNEW I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO FIGURE THEM OUT. So much as you still LACK THE SHOCK REQUIRED TO BURN THEM IN, at least you now KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I’M TALKING ABOUT – YOU KNOW WHAT THAT ANCIENT ‘MYSTERY SCHOOL’ ADVICE CARVED INTO THAT ROCK AT DELPHI actually means IN THE NOW so ‘YOU SHOULD BE HOOKED’, otherwise you should probably just go take drugs and fuck off back to your fantasy world, none of what follows will make any sense to little old you…

ALL OF THIS ALLOWS YOU TO ‘KNOW THYSELF’…

IT ACHIEVES THIS BY SHOWING WHAT IS A TRUE, AND WHAT IS A FALSE DESIRE IN YOURSELF.

THIS HAPPENS BY SHOWING YOU THE ANXIETY THAT DESIRE COMES FROM IN THE MOMENT ‘BEFORE THE DESIRE’.

SEE DESIRES THAT ARE CAUSED BY ANXIETY ARE FAKE DESIRES, SO THEY ARE FALSE INSTINCTS, AS COMFORTS, COMPENSATIONS.

FAKE DESIRES ARE ABOUT RELIEF FROM ANXIETY, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT THE RESULT OF THAT PROCESS, WHICH IS TO FUCK UP.

BUT TO SEE THIS IN REALTIME YOU MUST FEEL THE FLEETING ANXIETY FIRST, BEFORE YOU CAN REALIZE THAT THE DESIRE IS FAKE, TEMPORARY.

Do you now at least understand this conceptually? Great…

IN TIME THIS WILL ALLOW TO SEE WHAT IS TRUE AND WHAT IS FALSE IN OTHERS TOO, VERY EASILY AND VERY QUICKLY. 

AT A SPIRITUAL LEVEL THIS SKILL IS THE FIRST ‘PROPER’ SUPERPOWER, THAT IS NOT JUST AN ARTIFACT OF NOT BEING A FUCK UP.

HOWEVER MUCH ‘IMPROVED INTUITION’ DOES NOT SOUND LIKE MUCH OF A SUPERPOWER, IT IS THE ROOT OF ALL THE OTHERS, A TRUTH.

BUT TO GET ‘HERE’, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND WHAT ‘SELF DESTRUCTION IN THE FUTURE’ MEANS CONSCIOUSLY ‘IN THE NOW’, BY SEEING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT IS REAL AND WHAT IS A FAKE COMPENSATION, SO YOU CAN LOOK FOR IT IN YOURSELF…

So – this is what SELF-DESTRUCTION MEANS – you don’t understand WHAT CAUSES YOU TO FUCK UP, BECAUSE YOU ONLY SEE IT AS FUCKING UP AFTERWARDS WHEN THE RESULT KICKS IN, AND THEN YOU EITHER GO SLOWLY BAT SHIT CRAZY BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIX ‘BEING CONFLICTED’ or YOU SIMPLY ACCEPT IT AS YOU AND DEFEND IT AS ‘COOL’ like a DELUSIONAL TOOL. So you PRETEND being a FUCK UP IS ‘JUST THE WAY YOU ARE’, ITS FUN, ITS BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVES, which is BOLLOCKS – YOU ARE AN ‘UN-NATURAL’, DEPENDENT, DELUSIONAL PUSSY, BECAUSE ALL CHILDREN ARE ‘NATURALLY’ DEPENDENT PUSSIES LIVING IN A FANTASY WORLD, until they GROW UP, AND GROW OUT OF THAT SHITSHOW…

THE REASON YOU ARE A FUCK UP WHO DOES NOT REALIZE THEY ARE FUCK UP IS THAT YOU FAILED TO GROW UP...

SO YOU ARE ‘EMBARRASSING YOURSELF’, BUT YOU HAVE ‘BLANKED THAT SHAME OUT’ IN ORDER NOT TO FEEL IT = YOU CONSTANTLY ADD TO YOUR ANXIETIES BY ‘TRYING TO COMFORT YOURSELF WITH RELIEF FROM ANXIETY’, IN A DEATH SPIRAL.

SEE YOU ARE STILL STUCK IN THE ‘TRAINING MODE’ OF LIFE THAT IS CHILDHOOD = TO BE ‘CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY’ like A KID, BUT THAT MODE DOES NOT WORK FOR ‘REAL LIFE’ – YOU NEED A ‘CONSCIOUS CHARACTER’ NOT A SET OF UNCONSCIOUS PATTERNS.

YET ‘YOU ARE STUPID’, which means YOU NEED TO ‘FEEL SECRETLY CLEVER’ AS A ‘RELIEF FROM THE RESULT’ OF YOUR ‘SELF DESTRUCTIVE STUPIDITY’, SO YOU CAN ‘GETAWAY WITH IT, AGAIN’, AT LEAST FOR A MOMENT, OTHERWISE IT WOULD CRUSH YOU

THIS IS HOW BEING A ‘BIG KID’ WORKS – THE FASCILE ‘NEEDS OF THE NOW’ ALWAYS WIN, SO ‘YOU LOSE’ – THE CHILD JUST PLAYS WITH TOYS, WHILE THE MOTHER HAS NO INTEREST IN THE TOY, SHE WATCHES THE CHILD AND CORRECTS ITS MISTAKES…

SO WHAT HAS ‘BECOME OF YOU’, MY DEAR – HOW GOOD WAS ‘YOUR CONDITIONING’? 

So know that the issue with growing up in later life is THAT YOU MUST FIRST ACCEPT ‘YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP’ SO YOU STILL THINK AND ACT LIKE A CHILD, then you must see WHAT NOT GROWING UP HAS DONE TO YOU, and so be VERY MOTIVATED TO FIX THAT ‘NOT GROWING UP’, BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT ACTUALLY GROWING UP. See ‘FIXING NOT GROWING UP’ IS RECLAIMING THE WASTED ENERGY YOU NEED TO GROW UP THAT YOUR CHILD STEALS FROM YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY, and then ‘TRYING TO GROW UP’ IS ABOUT USING THAT NEW ENERGY ‘TO RAISE YOU LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS’ BY FOLLOWING ‘A CLASS SYSTEM’, so you can ACTUALLY FEEL YOURSELF GROW UP CONSCIOUSLY, instead of just pretending unconsciously, like now.

In time, should you have the stones to read the rest of this reasonably scary and repetitive post, you will understand THE KEY TO THE FIRST STEP is TO TAKE RESPONSIBLY FOR YOUR OWN ENERGY, WHAT YOU DO WITH IT, HOW YOU CONSERVE IT AND OWN IT, instead of handing over that responsibility to the UNCONSCIOUS PATTERN REACTIONS OF A CHILD, WHO PISSESS IT AWAY ON NOTHING, ON CHEAP THRILLS THAT COMFORT YOU, but which you think are natural DESIRES, AVERSIONS, LIKE, DISLIKES, all of which are FAKE – YOU DON’T HAVE THEM, YOU LEARNT TO DO THEM in response to ANXIETY AS A KID.

In that way you may even come to understand what it is to be BADASS: 

EXPECT NOTHING, FEAR NOTHING, REGRET NOTHING – YOU ARE NOT A CHILD ANYMORE, SO YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE TIME FOR ANXIETY.

EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY, EXCEPT SEX ITSELF, WHICH IS ABOUT POWER, SO POWER CREATES EVERYTHING ELSE.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANY OF THE MILESTONES IN YOUR LIFE, ALL YOU CAN DO IS CHOOSE HOW YOU WANT TO REACT, IF AT ALL.

REMEMBER ‘WHO YOU ARE’, BY REMEMBERING ‘YOU ARE NOT THEM’, SO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ‘NOT BEING THEM’.

YOUR FUN NEEDS CHANGE, CHANGE IS CHALLENGE, SO SEE ALL CHALLENGE AS YOUR FUN, BY FINDING IT FUNNY.

EVOLUTION MEANS YOU MUST CONSTANTLY ADAPT TO PROSPER, SO EASE, COMFORT, RELIEF ARE FAILURE.

POWER IS THE ANSWER, BECAUSE WITHOUT IT ALL ELSE IS USELESS, SO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

IF YOU CANNOT DEFINE YOUR OWN REALITY THEN YOU ARE LIVING IN ANOTHERS FANTASY.

Obvious eh? Well, it is if you have GROWN UP ALREADY – cause all that means this:  

THE MEANING OF YOUR LIFE IS ‘IN’ THE REALIZATION ‘THAT IT ENDS’…

WHEN YOU REALIZE THIS, YOU WILL FEEL WHAT CAUSES ALL YOUR FAKE DESIRES AND PREFERENCES TO TRIGGER IN REALTIME, SO YOU WILL REALIZE THEY DON’T EXIST, THEN CHANGING IS EASY, CAUSE YOU WILL HATE ‘THE THING’ THAT IS CONTROLLING YOU.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU WILL REALIZE THAT ‘LIFE IS URGENT’, BECAUSE ‘CONSCIOUS URGENCY’ IS THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THE UNCONSCOUS URGENCY THAT CONTROLS YOU, WHILST MAKING CONSCIOUS YOU TOO WEAK AND LAZY TO RESIST IT.

SO RIGHT NOW YOU ARE ‘YOUR WORRIES’, SO EVERYTHING IS SMALL, PETTY, TEMPORARY, MEANINGLESS YET IT IS ‘THE MEANING OF YOUR LIFE’ BECAUSE IT IS ALL YOU ‘EVER’ DO, AS YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO CLIMB OUT OF THIS ‘SELF-INDULGENT’ WANK FEST. 

BUT FOR AN ADULT EVERYTING IS ‘BIG PICTURE’, BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS URGENT, BECAUSE YOUR LIFE HAS A POINT, EVEN IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, YOU KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS ANT HILL OF SHIT YOU HAVE…

SEE, IF YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, SITTING THERE, READING THIS, THE STATEMENT ABOVE ABOUT DEATH WILL BE NOTHING TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL STUCK IN THE SAME WORLD AS A 13Y/O, AND DEATH IS SO FAR AWAY AS TO BE MEANINGLESS, EVEN WHEN you are in your 30/40s, and ITS NOT. SO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME CHASING COMFORT FROM ANXIETY AND DRIFT AROUND FOR DECADES – THE IMPACT OF DEATH IS HIDDEN FROM YOU.

BUT IF YOU ARE AN ADULT, WHO REALIZES WHAT DEATH MEANS FOR YOU, HOW CEASING TO EXIST AT ANY MOMENT ‘TODAY’ CLARIFIES THE MIND, YOU WILL NEED NO EXPLANATION FROM ME, YOU WILL ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CHILD AND A GROWN UP, BECAUSE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT ANYTHING WORTH DOING, FEELING OR THINKING IS URGENT, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW ‘YOU CONTROL YOURSELF’ AGAINST URGENCY.

SO WHAT ARE YOU THEN? –

YEAH, SHOCKER EH – YOUR STILL A SELF-INDULGENT LITTLE BABY, EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS…

KNOW THAT THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO THEY DID NOT BOTHER WITH TRYING TO REACH YOU RATIONALLY WITH EXPLANATION, THEY JUST TOOK YOU DOWN INTO A DEEP CAVE, SCARED THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU WITH SUPERNATURAL TERRORS, AND THEN MADE YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE, RIGHT NOW, EVEN ACTUALLY KILLING SOME OF THE CHOSEN WHO RAN AWAY JUST TO MAKE THE POINT THAT YOU ‘COULD DIE’.

SADLY IN THIS DAY AND AGE THAT IS ILLEGAL FOR FOLKS LIKE YOU, MUCH AS YOU WOULD BE AMAZED AT JUST HOW MANY SECRET SOCIETIES YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF GO WAY BEYOND THE OBVIOUS FAKERY OF THE FREEMASONS AND STILL DO THAT SHIT FOR REAL. BUT DON’T WORRY, I’M GOING TO HELP YOU, AT LEAST THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO BE HELPED TODAY, TO GROW THE FUCK UP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE…

SO TRY AND GRASP THAT AS A CHILD YOU ARE FADING AWAY INTO OBLIVION, INTO ‘NOTHINGNESS’, RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE ALL YOUR CHOICES ARE MADE UNCONSCIOUSLY BASED ON THE SEARCH FOR COMFORT, LIKE ONE MORE STUPID, LAZY BITCH. BUT EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE IS IN REALITY AT OPPORTUNITTY TO RESPOND WITH POWER OR WITH COMFORT, POWER BEGETS THE NEED FOR MORE POWER VIA ENERGY, AND COMFORT BEGETS THE NEED FOR MORE COMFORT VIA WEAKNESS – YOU MUST MAKE BETTER CONSCIOUS CHOICES OR JUST FUCK OFF AND FADE AWAY. 

What ALL that means for you right now, AT YOUR RATHER PATHETIC LEVEL OF ANIMAL CONSCIOUS is that you MUST RAISE YOUR RISK THRESHOLD BY NOT GIVING A FUCK ABOUT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN NEXT, and GREET ALL THE ANXIETIES THAT COME WITH LAUGHTER, which I will explain below. Then you can start to LIVE, instead of just ‘EXISTING’, AND HAVE OTHER GOALS THAN JUST ‘GETTING AWAY WITH IT’, BUT FIRST YOU MUST know the DIFFERENCE…

SO KNOW VERY SIMPLY – THIS IS WHAT THE ‘EGO-SAFETY’ OF A CHILD IS:

NOT GROWING UP MEANS ‘YOU LIVE A LIE’, BASED ON THE EXCUSES FOR NOT GROWING UP YOU USED ‘TO FEEL BETTER’ AT THE TIME.

BELIEVING THOSE EXCUSES HAS MADE YOU DELUSIONAL, MOODY, UNHAPPY, UNSTABLE AND SELF DESTRUCTIVE BECAUSE THEY ARE LIES.

BUT YOU DON’T SEE ANY OF THIS, BECAUSE YOUR EXCUSES BLANK OUT THE ANXIETY OF SEEING IT – THEY DEFEND YOU FROM PAIN OF REALITY.

THE TERM THEY USE THESE DAYS IS ‘LIMITING BELIEFS’ ABOUT YOURSELF, THAT SHIELD YOU FROM ‘SHAME OF FAILURE’, HOWEVER TINY IT WAS.

BUT NOW YOU ARE ‘A VICTIM’, LOST AND ALONE WITH ‘A TARGET ON YOUR BACK’ THAT ALL CAN SEE, BUT YOU JUST THINK ‘YOU ARE UNLUCKY’

AND YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU HAVE BECOME ‘BAD LUCK’ ITSELF – SO HERE LIES THE KILLER ISSUE –

THE BIGGER CHILD YOU STILL ARE THE HARDER YOU WILL CLING ONTO YOUR DELUSIONS, THE HARDER YOU WILL FIGHT ANY ATTEMPT TO HELP YOU GROW UP, AS YOUR ‘OBVIOUS SELF DESTRUCTION’ STILL FEELS SAFER THAN ANY TYPE OF CHANGE – ‘YOUR CHILD DEFENDS ITSELF’.

AT THE EXTREMES FOLKS WILL LITERALLY LET THIER CHILDISH EGO ‘KILL THEM’, RATHER THAN LET GO OF THAT EGO SAFETY, BECAUSE THEY THINK THE ALTERNATIVE, FRANKLY ANY ALTERNATIVE, WILL ‘HURT THEM’ SO MUST BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS – WHICH IS WHAT EGO-DEFENSE OF A CHILD ‘IS’.

SO WHAT YOU NEED TO MOTIVATE YOU IS NOT JUST THE KNOWLEDGE OF ‘HOW TO GROW UP’, IT IS THE REALIZATION OF WHAT GROWING UP IS, AND WHY IT IS NOT ONLY BETTER THAN ‘YOU THE CHILD’, IT IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL OF ‘EXISTENCE’, THAT YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ‘EXISTS’… YET.

BUT AT A CERTAIN LEVEL OF COWARDICE, A CERTAIN LEVEL OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX VS YOUR REMAINING ENERGY, YOU CAN NO LONGER BE HELPED, AND I DON’T JUST MEAN BY MEDICATION, THERAPY, SPIRITUALITY, OR ME, I MEAN EVEN BY YOUR GOD…

SEE WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF ENERGY, YOU RUN OUT OF TIME, AND THEN YOU RUN OUT OF ‘OPTIONS’…

SO WHEN THAT MOMENT COMES FOR YOUR ‘2ND CHANCE AT LIFE’, YOU NEED TO SEE IT AND ‘TAKE IT’…

So…… WHY NOT GIVE THIS LITTLE POST A READ EH, WHATEVER YOU THINK RIGHT NOW, AS IT MAY HELP YOU TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU ONCE WANTED TO BE, MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE, AT LEAST BEFORE ‘WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU’ NOW HAS TOTALLY DESTROYED YOUR DREAMS AND REDUCED YOU TO, WELL ‘WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS MESS OF SELF-INDULGENT CHILDISH SHITE’ you just happen to BE ROLLING TODAY ACTUALLY ‘IS’, as frankly you have no idea who you are anymore, do ya, its all a bit of a blur now, as YOU ARE SIMPLY GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS…

Ahhh, I see – YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, SO ‘YOU DON’T NEED NO GOOD ADVICE, YOU’RE ALREADY WASTED….’ (Sorry Girls Aloud) – YOU DON’T VALUE KINDNESS OR QUALITY, YOU ARE ONLY CONTROLLED BY FEAR AND YOUR COMFORTING REACTIONS TO FEAR, so even the most pathetic low level anxiety owns you just by being REPETITIVE – you are not going to DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT ARE YOU, as that is the life of the GUTLESS CUNT, who thinks RELIEF FROM ANXIETY IS FUN, PLEASURE, CAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN BRED TO THINK THAT WITHOUT QUESTION, you don’t even have ‘a choice’. You don’t wanna see it, cause your way WORKS FOR YOU, in comparison to what you remember from childhood WHICH WAS FAR WORSE THAN THIS, as YOU WERE ‘ANXIOUS ALL THE TIME’.

So if it helps you PAY ATTENTION, know that I’M REALLY FUCKING SCARY, and I mean on a whole other level to what you think the word means, I just moved on from it as ‘a lifestyle choice’ many years ago (as I will explain below in this post). See you never really lose your ‘instinctive patterns’, with development YOU SURPASS THEM, so they lose all EMOTIONAL control over you and appear as little more than echoes in your mind – THEY ARE EMPTY VESSELS, SO YOU ONLY USE THEM WHEN THEY BENEFIT YOU ‘OVERALL’. See we CHOOSE WHAT WE DO, WHILST A CHILD, like you ‘IS COMPELLED BY PETTY ANXIETY’ to FOLLOW PETTY REACTIONS TO PETTY ANXIETY IN THE MOMENT, which is why A CHILD CAN NEVER HAVE CLASS, STYLE, PRESENCE, A CHILD IS ITS ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’, BECAUSE A CHILD LIVES ‘IN-FEAR’ so you actually NEED FEAR TO DO ANYTHING NOW…

FYI – You are aware that the whole ‘Don’t need no good advice’ thing is a HUGE TELL for having a ‘Massive Fear of Rejection’ as a child so it has become your main ‘Limiting Belief’, what 4th wayers call your ‘Key Feature’ that you entire Fake Character, and hence YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, is now built on top of? Know this is so UNBELIEVABLY COMMON in MID TO HIGH LEVEL GIFTED WOMEN, AS A REACTION TO THE HUGE LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY they had AS CHILDREN, it is beyond a JOKE. See you were sooooo sensitive, awkward and embarrassed as a kid that you decided you HAD TO FIT WITH ‘THE COOL KIDS’ AT ALL COSTS TO ESCAPE THAT ‘ANXIETY’, TO BE ‘ACCEPTED’, so you pick the biggest ‘street gang’ of KIDS and PLEASE them, you literally learnt little phrases and sayings, little cute gestures, modified your clothes so they would like you more, SO THEY WOULD ‘ACCEPT YOU’ AND ‘HAVE YOUR BACK’ – YOUR ANXIETY WAS SO BAD YOU TURNED YOURSELF INTO A FREAK TO BLANK IT OUT, and NOW YOU THINK YOU ‘GET PLEASURE FROM HUMILIATING YOURSELF’, but it is just relief from A SPECIFIC CHILDHOOD ANXIETY YOU SHOULD NO LONGER HAVE AS A GROWN UP, WHO NO LONGER FEARS REJECTION, THEY ACTUALLY PREFER IT…

See now you get a ‘visceral thrill’ every time you FEEL ACCEPTED, no matter bigger bunch of nasty little cunts ‘this’ gang or ‘that’ powerful boss is – who all secretly think you are dumb as fuck and hence laugh at you behind your back, cause even they know you are a DESPERATE DORK UNDERNEATH, as why else would you lower yourself to their level, the level of grubby little animals. But Take Heart, no matter how extreme you have become, how #cringe this Key Feature is, ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IS DECIDE to be ‘UNCOOL’, TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL AND GO YOUR OWN WAY AND BURN THAT INTO YOURSELF AS A COUNTERPOINT. Then you will rapidly see THAT THRILL OF FITTING IN is AN OLD PATTERN REACTION caused by the FEAR OF REJECTION, so you CAN START TO LAUGH AT, then IGNORE IT. That way you actually become COOL, so FOLKS WILL WANT TO FIT IN WITH YOU, INSTEAD OF ‘USE YOU’ LIKE some FAKE, ‘DISLOYAL BITCH’ who ‘deserves it’. See I TOLD YA, its NOT THAT HARD TO BE SCARY WHEN YOUR CLEVER, as being CLEVER KINDA MAKES YOU EVEN SCARIER – FRANKLY WHAT I’VE JUST SAID IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I COULD SAY ON THIS TOPIC, AS THIS SILLY LITTLE BEHAVIOUR PATTERN CAN GET QUITE ‘DARK’…  

And this is a perfect example to show you how your CONDITIONING WORKS, how your PATTERN REACTIONS TO ANXIETY WORK, long after they have formed in childhood, how they NOW APPEAR TO YOU AS ‘INSTINCTIVE DESIRES’. See YOU NO LONGER FEEL THE ANXIETY TRIGGER FOR YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS, SO YOU JUST THINK PATTERN REACTIONS ARE ‘INSTINCTIVE’, ‘REAL’, ‘AUTHENTIC’, part of your DNA, BUT THEY ARE NOT – THAT ‘FEAR OF REJECTION’ TRIGGER STILL HAPPENS, EVERY FUCKING TIME BUT IT IS LOST BEHIND THE REACTION, SO YOU ARE ‘BLIND’ TO IT, AND HENCE HAVE A FALSE UNDERSTANING TO WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED. So you DON’T SEE THESE AS FAKE, LEARNT REACTIONS AT ALL ANYMORE SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DON’T SEE THE CONEXT OF THE ANXIETY THAT HAS CAUSED THEM, so you don’t REALIZE THAT THEY ARE ‘FALSE’ = ‘LEARNT’ = ‘CONDITIONED’ INSTINCTS happening in a sequence, so you don’t understand how to STOP THEM, CAUSE YOU DON’T SEE THE TRIGGER that CAUSES THEM. Believe it – ‘You the Child’ has successfully removed your SPECIFIC ‘FELT ANXIETY’ as it HAPPENS, BUT THAT ANXIETY IS STILL CONTROLLING YOU via YOUR ‘PATTERN REACTIONS TO FEAR’, EVERY DAMN DAY.

Want the ultimate SPEED UP to help you GROW UP? Do you have a really good memory of your childhood, largely depending on how delusional you now are? Well, just in case you are that lucky I’ll TELL ya – THINK BACK TO THE 1 OR 2 KEY ANXIETIES YOU HAD AS A CHILD, PRE-TEENS THROUGH TO ADOLESENCE, ones that you ‘THINK’ went away as you ‘grew out’ of them ‘naturally’, without having to face them, or change in someway?  Bad News – THEY NEVER WENT AWAY, they became YOUR KEY FEATURES, as you REPRESSED THEM – YOU COVERED THEM OVER WITH COMFORT FOR A MOMENT OR 2 AND THAT DOES NOT DO SHIT, INDEED THEY GOT FAR WORSE, SO REJECTION GROWS TO BECOME GENERALIZED PERFORMANCE ANXIETY, BEFORE INCREASING AGAIN TO BECOME CRIPPLING FEAR OF FAILURE IN ALL THINGS, OF BEING ‘FOUND OUT’. See YOUR COMFORTS ARE REALLY A FORM OF SELF-HARM – YOU ARE MAKING THIS WORSE AND WORSE, EVERY FUCKING DAY YOU IGNORE IT BY COMFORTING YOURSELF, DESTROYING YOUR FUTURE IN THE PROCESS…

See the terrible thing about PATTERN REACTIONS is that they DON’T WORK AS INTENDED, THEY ARE NOT A CURE, THEY ARE AN ‘UMBRELLA IN A HURRICANE’, THE ‘DELUSION OF SECURITY’ VIA ‘EGO-SAFETY’. The GOOD NEWS – should you have GROWN A PAIR IN THE MEANTIME, and now feel able to FACE UP TO YOUR FEAR OF REJECTION AND ‘LAUGH IT OFF’, then the rest of it will tumble down like a stack of cards, BUT VIRTUALLY NO ONE CAN DO THAT UNLESS THEY ARE ‘SHOCKED INTO IT’ – SHOCKED INTO SEEING YOU ACT OUT THIS SHIT SHOW FOR REAL, OTHER WISE YOU LIVE IN FEAR OF EVERYTHING, forever, and it just gets worse. If you ever get to LOOK BACK AT THIS FROM ‘FIXED’ you may even be amused to see that much of your conscious ‘bad luck’ these days, of all your enemies and failures is actually YOUR GIFT SCREAMING AT YOU TO GET THE FUCKING MESSAGE – SEE YOUR BEHAVIOUR AS SELF SABOTAGE AND THEN FIGURE OUT WHAT IS CAUSING IT by seeing in realtime WHAT MAKES IT WORSE, because that is your only way out of this shitbox at an extreme level…

So try and imagine for a second just HOW FUCKING PISSED I WILL BE IF YOU DON’T TAKE THIS QUALITY ADVICE ‘SERIOUSLY’. See YOUR LIFE should BE ‘ART’ as an ‘INDIVIDUAL’, IF YOU ARE ‘SPIRITED’ – IT SHOULD BE ABOUT ‘BEING BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY SENSE’ which leads to the ‘FEELING SUPERIOR’, in everyway, everyday, what they used to call having CLASS, STYLE, QUALITY, IMPROVING EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH, EVERYWHERE YOU GO SIMPLY BY THE QUALITY OF YOUR PRESENCE, WHICH IS THE LIFESTYLE OF ‘THE ARISTOS’ as the FELT CONTEXT OF YOUR EXISTENCE, YOUR MOODSTATE. You are supposed to BE SPECIAL simply because you CHASE THAT FEELING OF SPECIAL, that ‘BETTER THAN’ AS ‘A LIFE’, as ‘THE FELT POWER OF SUPERIORITY’, you are NOT supposed to SIMPLY ‘EXIST’ BY HAVING TO ‘CHASE COMFORT FROM ANXIETY FOR RELIEF’, just to get through the fucking day like A GUTLESS CUNT…

So here is the reason I am making this rather vicious example of ‘you’, much as I could of chosen any number of types, even though its not your fault…

ALL GIFTED TEND TO HAVE A MUCH MORE CHALLENGING TIME DURING CHILDHOOD THAN ‘NORMAL KIDS’, HOWEVER GOOD THEY START OUT AS.

SEE ‘THE ARTIFACTS’ OF THEIR GIFT MAKE THEM FEEL DIFFERENTLY DUE TO THEIR CONSCEINCE LEVEL EMOTIONS, WHICH NORMAL KIDS DON’T HAVE.

SO THE MECHANISM OF THE ‘PERSONAL MORALITY’ THEY ARE BORN WITH INTERACTING WITH ‘REACTIONS TO IMPERSONAL REALITY’ HIT WAY HARDER.

THIS CAN LEAD TO VERY ‘POOR DECISION MAKING’, PARTICUARLY IN THE UNSCHOOLED, WHO HAVE NO CLASS SYSTEM REFERENCE TO FALL BACK ON.

IT IS VERY COMMON TO SEE HIGHLY GIFTED TYPES TOTALLY FUCK UP THEIR CHILDHOOD, AND BE LEFT WITH A HUGE HANGOVER OF VERY BAD PATTERNS.

WITHOUT THE INTERVENTION OF A CLASS SYSTEM THESE SHITE, ‘EGO-SAFE’ PATTERNS THEN GO ON TO DESTROY THEIR LIVES, SLOWLY BUT SURELY.

ALL OF WHICH MEANS THAT TO GROW UP AS A GIFTED CHILD YOU NEED TO UNLEARN YOURSELF, BY UNDERSTANDING WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU.

BUT THE UPSIDE IS WAY BETTER THAN THIS DOWNSIDE – IF YOU ARE GIFTED YOU WILL STILL HAVE THE ENERGY DO IT, NATURALLY…

AND HOWEVER MUCH YOU THINK YOUR CHILDHOOD HAS CURSED YOU WITH THE FALSE INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS TO AN OVERWHELMING FEAR OF REJECTION, TRUST ME THERE IS WAY WORSE KEY FEATURES OUT THERE, ONES THAT LEAD VERY QUICKLY TO ACTUALLY BEING CURSED BY YOUR GIFT – THE FABLED ‘DOUBLE CRYSTALLIZATION’, WHERE YOU ACTUALLY BECOME 2 PEOPLE WHO DON’T REMEMBER EACH OTHER. SEE THAT CANNOT BE FIXED BY YOU, THAT HAS TO BE FIXED BY ‘US’, AND IT CAN ONLY BE FIXED BY THE ANCIENT MYSTERY SCHOOL METHODS OF THE GREEKS AND EGYPTIANS, AS IT CAN ONLY BE FIXED WITH ‘TRIAL BY SHOCKS’, AND YOU DON’T WANT THAT, CAUSE YOU ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH. So its time to START, as soon as you possibly can, TO SEE YOURSELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU, WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE ENERGY FOR IT…

To start – try and understand that AS A CHILD YOUR LIFE consists of FAKE COPIES of many NATURAL FEELINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE BY RIGHT, ‘IMITATIONS’ THAT DON’T REALLY WORK. THE KEY is THE CORE ONE of these, THE ONE THAT CAUSES YOU TO FAKE ALL THE REST LATER ON – AS A CHILD YOU HAVE A NATURAL ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ THAT IS DESIGN TO HELP YOU LEARN, FAST SO YOU CAN STOP FEELING ANXIOUS, NOW, via the mechanism of ‘LITTLE FELT WINS’ as a VISCERAL THRILL when you SUCCEED, so YOU FEEL SUPERIOR ‘PUBLICALLY’ TO HOW YOU USED TO FEEL WHEN YOU COULD NOT DO IT PRIVATELY, BEFORE. It is a very OPEN FEELING, ‘A TRUTH’, SO ‘YOU FEEL BIGGER THAN BEFORE’, and all else FEELS SMALLLER, LESS OF A THREAT TO YOU – IN A VERY REAL SENSE ‘YOU EXPAND’, and that EXPANSION STAYS WITH YOU AFTERWARDS, helping you to do lots of other stuff.

But as a BIG KID WHO ‘CAN’T DO IT’ YOU COPE BY ‘RUNNING AWAY’ AND RE-INVENTING THAT FAILURE – YOU REPLACE THAT FEELING OF NATURAL SUPERIORIY BY TRIGGERING A VERY SIMILIAR FEELING OF ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’, which gives you some fleeting respite from your anxiety WHILST ACTUALLY MAKING YOU EVEN MORE FUCKING ANXIOUS OVERALL – YOU FOOL YOURSELF THAT RUNNING AWAY HAS WORKED, BUT YOU HAVE NOT ACTUALLY LEARNT, YOU ACTUALLY FAILED THAT TEST. BUT YOU NEED TO THINK ‘YOU WON’ to FEEL A BIT BETTER, AND YOU WILL BURN THAT MISTAKE INTO YOURSELF AS AN UNCONSCIOUS PATTERN, ONE OF MANY STUPID LITTLE FUCK UPS THAT WILL BECOME YOUR ‘FAKE UNCONSCIOUS CHARACTER’.

‘TO REALIZE’ THIS IN YOURSELF YOU MUST BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THE FEELING OF PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT, EVEN SHAME, THAT THE SAME SECRET CLEVERNESS TRIGGER WOULD CAUSE IF YOU DID IT PUBLICALLY, IF EVERYONE KNEW, so you then see THAT CLEVERNESS TRIGGER IS A GRUBBY HATEFUL AWKWARD THING THAT ACTUALLY MAKES ‘YOU FEELS INADEQUATE’ LIKE A FREAK. See that burning sense of EMBARRASSMENT IS STILL THERE,YOU STILL FEEL THAT SHAME, BUT IT IS QUICKLY HIDDEN BY THE YOUR LOW LEVEL ‘SNIGGERING’ OF THE FAKE CLEVERNESS/FAKE SUPERIORITY BECAUSE ITS SECRET. See the reason all your secrets and lies destroy you is that YOU SHAME YOURSELF ON PURPOSE FOR FUN AS YOUR ONLY ‘PRIZE IN LIFE’, and that is going to destroy your peace of mind, your reputation, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, YOUR ENERGY LEVELS, AND LASTLY YOUR HEALTH.      

See your ACTUAL life AS A BIG KID is TO BE A SLAVE TO YOUR INFERIORITY, so its about ‘TRANSACTIONAL UTILITY’, because you live the life of a COWARD, so your life is about REACTING WITH WEAKNESS TO EVERYTHING PUBLIC, whilst comforting yourself with being some form of DELUSIONAL BADDIE IN SECRET – YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT ‘HIDING FROM ANXIETY via DISTRACTION/RELEIF FROM ANXIETY’. You are stuck in a mode of life designed to teach you HOW TO DO THE BASICS – HOW TO WALK, TALK, RUN, PISS, SHIT, EAT, DRINK, FUCK, FIGHT, LAUGH AND CRY, ‘INSTINCTIVELY’, so you don’t have to THINK ABOUT THEM IN THE MOMENT. You are NOT supposed to USE THAT MODE TO LIVE – YOU ARE SUPPOSED ‘TO GROW OUT OF IT’ BECAUSE THAT MODE DOES NOT ALLOW YOU ‘TO THINK FOR YOURSELF’, SO YOU CANNOT ‘DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT THAN YOU DID AS A CHILD’!

KNOW THIS ‘AUTOMATIC TRAINING MODE’ IS ACTUALLY DESIGNED TO ‘STOP YOU THINKING FOR YOURSELF’ AND DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD SO YOU CAN LEARN TO SURVIVE, LEARN THE BASICS AND GROW BIOLOGICALLY – YOU LEARN MUCH QUICKER THAT WAY, DEPENDING ON THE QUALITY OF YOUR ENVINROMENT OF COURSE. BUT YOU LEARN PRIMARILY THROUGH IMITATION UNCONSCIOUSLY, INDEED YOU FIRST HAVE TO LEARN THE PROCESS OF IMITATION IN ORDER TO FORM HABITS THAT BECOME ‘UNCONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOUR’ SO YOUR ENVIROMENT CAN CONTROL YOU, SO YOU CAN ‘BE CONTROLLED’ WITHIN ‘VERY NARROW LIMITS OF WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU’ – YOUR LIFE IS VERY SMALL, SO YOU LEARN FASTER.

STARTING TO SEE WHY ITS A STUNNINGLY BAD IDEA TO USE THAT MODE AS AN ADULT YET? – THAT TRAINING MODE MEANS ‘YOU A SLAVE TO ANXIETY’ ON PURPOSE, BECAUSE YOU ACCEPT IT IN ORDER TO KEEP YOU ALIVE WHILE YOU ARE TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON OTHERS AS A FORM OF BASIC TRUST IN WHAT YOU ARE TOLD ‘BEING GOOD FOR YOU’. BUT WHEN OUT ON YOUR OWN, IN A COLD, CRUEL, COMPETATIVE WORLD THAT IS HOSTILE TO YOU USING THAT MODE IS A FUCKING DISASTER, SO ‘YOU ARE A DISASTER’, A ‘FUCK UP’, BECAUSE YOU ARE STUCK BEING CONDITIONED BY, WELL, EVERY FUCKING SHITTY THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. YOU THEN BUILD OFTEN TOTALLY DISCONNECTED, OFTEN DIRECTLY OPPOSING LAYERS OF ‘CONDITIONED PATTERN REACTIONS’, ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER, THAT ACT LIKE LOTS OF DIFFERENT ‘PERSONALITIES’ WHICH ‘FOOL YOU’ INTO BECOMING A ‘MOODY BITCH’…

And that means your life is simply going to be random chaos, where at best you will think some shit like ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER’, because the FELT PARENTAL LOVE OF CHILDHOOD, PARTICUARLY IF IT WAS REGULARLY WITHDRAWN TO TEACH YOU A LESSON OR CAUSE YOUR PARENTS WHERE CRAP, IS THE ULTIMATE SAFETY FROM EVERYTHING ELSE, and you still believe that, even after they are DEAD. As an Adult you don’t learn like a fucking kid, you learn via the 4 conscious stages of learning as TESTS FOR TRUTH – Unconscious/Incompetence (you don’t know what to do), Conscious/Incompetence (you know what to do but you don’t know how to do it), Conscious/Competence (you know what to do, you know how to do it, but you can’t actually do it yet), Unconscious/Competence (you know what to do, you know how to do it, and YOU CAN NOW DO IT UNCONSCIOUSLY, WITHOUT THINKING). That is HOW YOU LEARN CORRECTLY, CONSCIOUSLY AS AN ADULT, but a BIG KID just TRIES TO FEEL SLIGHTLY LESS ANXIOUS BY COPYING OTHERS WITH NO TRUTH TESTS AT ALL, so everything is BOLLOCKS = A BEST GUESS.     

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN? – YOUR MINDSTATE OF A BIG KID, WHAT IS ‘ON-YOUR-MIND’ all the time is a form of OPPRESSION, BECAUSE IT IS ABOUT YOUR WORRIES, YOUR REACTION TO YOUR WORRIES, AND SEEKING COMFORT FROM THE REACTION TO YOUR WORRIES. That is the life of A CHILD, but YOUR LIFE SHOULD BE ABOUT ‘THE AESTHETIC’,  THE BEATIFULL, THE ‘BETTER THAN’ and YOUR REACTION to THE NEED TO ILLUSTRATE YOUR QUALITY IN EVERY TOUCH POINT TO OTHER LIKE MINDED SOULS, TO THE WORLD ITSELF, so YOUR THOUGHTS SHOULD COME FROM CONFIDENCE NOT FROM ‘THE FEAR’ that keeps you stuck in a cycle of ‘mental doom-scrolling’. SO YOU MUST TRY AND GRASP NOW AN ADULT RUNS TOWARD ‘FELT POWER’, WHILST YOU RUN AWAY FROM FELT ANXIETY, cause you are A SLAVE – YOU SHOULD BE AN INDIVIDUAL WHO ‘FEELS SUPERIOR’ TO WHATS AROUND THEM, BECAUSE YOU ARE.    

If you need to start more simply to FIND A WAY INTO THIS TRY – BEING A CHILD MEANS YOU ARE ‘ON EDGE’ ALL THE TIME, YOU MAY EVEN ROLL YOUR WEIGHT TO THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR FEET WHICH IS WHERE THE PHRASE BEING ON EDGE COMES FROM. SEE BEING A CHILD STORES A HUGE AMOUNT OF ANXIETY IN YOUR BODY AS STRESS, TENSION THAT YOU ARE THEN MEANT TO RELEASE WHEN YOU GROW UP, BUT IF YOU DON’T IT DISTORTS YOUR BODY, SO YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY ADJUST YOU BODY TO BE MORE COMFORTUABLE, IN EFFECT LOCKING THAT TENSION IN, SO IT NEVER GOES WAY – YOUR STRESS RESPONSES ARE SO STRONG YOU ACTUALLY GET STRESSED ABOUT EVERYTHING, WHAT THEY CALL ‘FEAR OF THE FUTURE’, SHIT THAT HAS NOT EVEN HAPPENED YET. HOLDING THIS TENSION LOCKED INTO YOUR BODY TAKES A HUGE AMOUNT OF YOUR ENERGY, SO THE MARJORITY OF WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO USE CONSCIOUSLY IS PISSED AWAY UNCONSCIOUSLY FOR NO REASON AT ALL – YOU HAVE NO ENERGY TO FIX YOURSELF!

DO YOU SEE THE MADDNESS OF THAT YET, DO YOU PERHAPS SEE NOW WHY SILLY LITTLE BIOLOGICAL RELIEFS OF SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK N ROLL HAVE SUCH A MASSIVE IMPACT ON YOUR HAPPINESS – THE SIMPLE LITTLE PLEASURES OF ADOLESENCE ARE THE ONLY WAY YOU KNOW HOW TO TEMPORARILY RELIEVE THE CONSTANT PHYSCIAL/MENTAL STRESS YOU FEEL BY HIDING IT, SO THIS IS HOW YOU BECOME ‘AN ADDICT’, YOU BECOME FETISHIZED, YOU BECOME ‘DESPERATE’, BECAUSE YOU ARE INCREASINGLY DESPERATE FOR ANY TYPE OF RELIEF FROM THIS SHITSHOW?  

SO BEST KNOW NOW – as A BIG KID THOSE CYCLES OF DOOM AND FAILURE WILL GET MUCH DARKER as you age, cause being a childish fuck up does NOT ‘end well’ for old people – YOU WILL DESTROY EVEN THE LITTLE YOU HAVE NOW WITH YOUR ‘WILLFUL SELF SABOTAGE’, over and over again, cause you are A GUTLESS CUNT WHO WHOLE LIFE IS BASED ON DESTROYING THEIR FUTURE SELF IN ORDER TO ‘FEEL SLIGHTLY BETTER’, NOW.  See that is HOW A CHILD LIVES BECAUSE THEY ‘HAVE TO’, THEY HAVE NO CHOICE, BUT YOU DO – all gifted get a 2nd chance at life, SHOULD THEY WANT TO TAKE IT, SHOULD THEY RECOGNIZE THEY NEED TO FIX THEMSELVES and FIND THE BALLS TO ‘DISSASSOCIATE’ FROM THIER CHILDISH SELVES.

So even before you have a hope of understanding this, its VERY useful to KNOW CONCEPTUALLY the ‘DOMINANT MECHANISM OF A CHILD’, who ‘WANTS TO STAY A CHILD’ because they FAILED TO GROW UP, so you need to understand that GROWING UP IS A ‘DIFFERENT MODE OF THINKING’:

SOMETIME IN YOUR PRE-TEENS YOU FAILED THE ‘SELF-CONSCIOUS’ EMBARRASSMENT ‘TEST’ THAT IS HARDWIRED INTO YOUR BIOLOGY:

THIS TEST IS MEANT TO MAKE YOU ‘THINK FOR YOURSELF’ AND FORCE YOU TO OVERCOME YOUR BIOLOGICAL REACTION ‘TO RUN AWAY’.

AS A CHILD YOU HAVE TO ‘OVERCOME FEAR OF PAIN’ AS A RITE OF PASSAGE, SO YOU OVERCOME ‘THE INFERIORIY’ THAT COMES FROM DEPENDENCY.

BUT INSTEAD OF FACING SOME LITTLE ‘ANXIETY’, OVERPOWERING IT, YOU CHOSE TO ‘RUN AWAY’ AND ‘COMFORT YOURSELF’ BY ‘BEING CLEVER’. 

YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DO THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR YEARS BUILDING A HABIT AS NO ONE ‘FORCED YOU’ TO DO A THING ‘NO ONE WANTS TO’.

THEN THAT HABIT ‘STUCK’, BECAME A PATTERN AND DISAPPEARED, CREATING ‘A CHINESE WALL’ BETWEEN YOU AND PAINFUL ‘SELF-AWARENESS’.

THIS FAKE ‘COMPENSATION’ FELT LIKE YOU HAD ‘GROWN UP’, BUT THAT FEELING IS ‘A DELUSION’ HIDING THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE ‘NOT GROWN UP’.

SEE UNLESS YOU REMEMBER ‘CONSCIOUSLY’ GROWING VS FEAR, YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, STUCK IN THE MINDSTATE OF A 13Y/O…

SO CONSIDER – TODAY I HAVE TO REACH YOU THROUGH ‘YOUR DELUSIONS’, THE ‘CHARACTER OF A CHILD’, A PETTY CHARACTER OF PETTY REACTIONS SO YOUR STUNNED, STUPID SOUL CAN START TO ‘WAKE UP’ TO ‘YOUR SITUATION’, AND SEE ‘THE REALITY’ YOUR MINDSTATE HAS ‘BLANKED OUT’.

THE CORE ISSUE IS THAT YOU DO NOT REALIZE YOU ARE LYING ALL THE TIME, BY REPEATING LEARNT TRUTHS AS PATTERN REACTIONS THAT ARE ACTUALLY ONLY ‘OPINIONS’ BURNT IN AND PARROTED AS GOSPEL FROM CHILDHOOD, AND EVEN WHEN PRESSED YOU DON’T CARE AS ‘YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION’ LIKE A WILLFUL CHILD, SIMPLY JUSTIFYING WHAT THEY ‘WANT TO BELIEVE’ AS A ‘PATTERN REACTION’ = FULL OF SHIT.

THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS THAT YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION WHEN IT IS WRONG, AS YOUR OPINION MAKES YOU A FUCKING MORON, AND WORSE STILL YOU BUILD YOUR WHOLE LIFE ONTOP OF THE OPINIONS OF A MORON THAT YOU HAVE LONG SINCE FORGOTTEN ARE BOLLOCKS, THAT NEVER HAPPENED, THAT WHERE AT BEST A PARTIAL AND DEEPLY FLAWED INTERPRETATION OF MOMENTARY REALITY THAT SUITED YOUR PRE-EXISTING NEED FOR ‘CONFIRMATION BIAS’, GIVEN WHATEVER STUPID LITTLE ‘DEFENSE AGAINST ANXIETY’ MOOD SWING YOU WHERE STUCK IN AT THAT TIME. 

YES, WHEN STUCK AS A CHILD YOU ARE WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN ‘CONDITIONED TO BE’ – YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

SO YOU ARE NOT WHAT ‘YOU WERE BORN TO BE’, YOU ARE NOT AUTHENTIC AT ALL – YOU ARE ‘A FAKE = LEARNT YOU’.

BUT YOUR CONDITIONING REMOVES YOUR ABILITY TO ‘REALIZE’ WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED TO BE – IT IS INVISIBLE TO YOU

SO NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOUR UPBRINGING WAS, HOW LUCKY YOU WERE AS A CHILD, YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, CAUSE ‘YOU ARE ANXIOUS’.

A MENTAL GAP EXISTS BETWEEN WHAT YOU DO, ‘HOW YOU COME ACROSS’ AS A PERSON, BECAUSE YOU DON’T CONTROL THAT, YOUR CHILD DOES.

NO MATTER HOW COUNTER INTUITIVE IT IS TO IMAGINE YOU HAVE A ‘FAKE PERSONALITY’ YOU ARE UNAWARE OFF, TRUST ME IT IS GOSPEL TRUTH.

BEST KNOW NOW – IF YOU WANT TO GROW UP YOU MUST FIRST ACCEPT ‘THE POSSIBILITY’ OF ‘THIS TRUTH’, BEFORE READING ON.

SADLY HOWEVER, ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS CONTROLLING YOUR OPINIONS VIA YOUR REACTIONS, SO ALL YOUR ‘OPINIONS ARE DEFENSIVE’, AND WILL CIRCLE AROUND SOME VERSION OF YOU BEING ‘BETTER THAN THIS ADVICE’, ‘YOU’ HAVE MORE ‘FUN BECAUSE YOU ARE CLEVER’, AS A COMPENSATION FOR BEING STUCK IN ‘A WORLD OF ANXIETY’, A FAKE CHARACTER OF UNCONSCIOUS ‘REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’, SO YOU LIFE GOALS ARE LITTLE MORE THAN A CONSTANT QUEST TO ‘GET AWAY WITH ALL YOUR SECRETS AND LIES’, FOR ANOTHER DAY, SO YOU DON’T REALLY HAVE ANY GOALS AT ALL. 

SOOOOO, I NEED TO WALK YOU THROUGH THIS IN BITE SIZED CHUNKS, CAUSE YOU CAN’T FOCUS ON ANYTHING, AS ‘YOUR CHILD WON’T LET YOU’ – I HAVE TO GIVE YOU LOTS OF LITTLE ‘BABY SHOCKS’, IN ORDER TO GIVE YOU THE ENERGY AND SMARTS YOU NEED TO WANT TO ‘HELP YOURSELF’:-

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIVE IN A ‘STATE OF FEAR’ AS AN ADULT = ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX”.

BUT YOU THINK ‘ITS COOL’ TO BE A GUTLESS CUNT, CAUSE ALL ELSE IS ‘BORING’, AND YOU ARE ‘SO CLEVER’…

SO YOU ARE DELUDED – TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE ‘SADASS’ – A FAKE – BUT YOU THINK YOUR ‘BADASS’, DON’T YA, ‘LITTLE GIRL’…

BUT THAT AIN’T ‘MOST OF THE TIME’, IS IT BABE, MOSTLY YOU EXIST IN SOME FORM OF LOW LEVEL DEPRESSION, CO-DEPENDENCY.

YOUR ‘SADASS MOMENTS’ ARE BRIEF FLASHES IN YOUR DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL, LOST IN THE BLACK, DENSE FOREST OF ANXIETY.

SO YOU HAVE NO ENERGY TO ‘REALLY LIVE’, TO CHOOSE, YOUR CHILD HAS STOLEN IT, SO YOU BECAME WEAK, OLD, SICK, UGLY, FAT.

AND WORSE, A CHILD ONLY EXISTS IN THE MOMENT OF REACTING, WITHOUT A ‘REACTION AGAINST’ YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ‘YOU THINK’.

BAD NEWS – THE CHARACTER OF A CHILD, THE CHARACTER OF ‘NO CHARACTER’, ‘YOUR CHARACTER’ IS HIDDEN FROM YOU.

GOOD NEWS – THIS ‘NO CHARACTER’ IS ‘NOT YOU’, SO THERE IS NO NEED TO BE ‘EMBARRASSED’ BY ‘SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS’.

INDEED SHOULD BE GIFTED AT ANY DECENT LEVEL YOU WILL ALREADY HAVE A TENDENCY TO LAUGH AT YOUR ‘KINDA CRAZY’, TO ‘DECOMPRESS IT’.

THAT HUMOUR IS ‘THE ENERGY OF SPIRIT’, ‘REAL YOU’, SENT TO TRY AND HELP YOU KEEP YOU ‘HEAD ABOVE THE WATER’ FOR ANOTHER DAY.

SEE SHOULD YOU EVER ACTUALLY GROW UP YOU WILL FIND THAT WHAT WAS ONCE FELT AS AN ANXIETY HAS NOW BECOME ‘FUNNY’.

SO WHEN YOUR PERSPECTIVE CHANGES ‘CRIPPLING ANXIETIES’ BECOME ‘SMALL CHALLENGES’, THEY BECOME ‘A BIT OF FUN’.

SEE ‘SEEING’ ANXIETIES AS FUNNY IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOPPPING YOUR REACTION TO THEM, SO LEADS ‘UPWARDS’.

THAT IS THE BIOLOGICAL POINT OF HUMOR, WHY EVEN WILD ANIMALS USE ‘PLAY TO LEARN’ TO BE A GROWN UP.

HUMOR WORKS BY RELEASING THE ENERGY IN ANXIETY TO USE AGAINST THAT CHALLENGE IN THE MOMENT.

THIS IS WHY YOU ‘LIKE’ FUNNY FOLK AS THEY ENERGIZE YOU – YOU FEEL BETTER BY RELEASING ANXIETY.

BUT HUMOR IS NOT ENTERTAINMENT, HUMOR IS A ‘TEACHING AID’, WHY BABIES ‘NEED TO LAUGH’.

YOU JUST TAUGHT YOURSELF TO DO IT WRONG AS A KID, AND NOW YOU ARE STUCK THERE…

THE JOY OF THIS MECHANSIM IS THAT IT NEVER GOES AWAY AS A CHILD, YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW TO USE IT, INSTEAD OF PERVERTING AND SO WASTING IT AS ONE MORE LITTLE COMFORT FROM ANXIETY, SO YOU CAN THEN LEARN TO USE THE OTHERS THAT COME AFTER IT. But that is not the main reason I mention it today, SEE THIS ISSUE IS A PERFECT ILLUSTRATION OF HOW CHILDREN ‘RUIN THE EXPEREINCE OF LIFE’ FOR THEMSELVES – THEY FETISHIZE REALITY, PERVERT THEIR ACTUAL NATURES BY ‘CHERRY PICKING’ PARTS OF NATURAL PROCESSES AS THRILLS AND IGNORING THE REST…

SEE BY ONLY PARTIALLY USING HUMOR AS ENTERTAINMENT INSTEAD OF ITS NATURAL FUNCTION IN ‘OVERCOMING ANXIETY IN THE MOMENT’ THEN YOU DON’T GET THE ENERGETIC BENEFIT OF HUMOR – THE ENERGY YOU PUT IN TO IT DOES NOT RETURN TO YOU VIA ‘THE FELT VICTORY’. AS A CHILD THEY ARE MANY MECHANISMS LIKE THIS, THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO STRENGTHEN YOU BUT BY ONLY CHOOSING THE ANIMAL PARTS OF SEX WITHOUT ANY FELT ‘CONNECTION’, OR THE VIOLENT PARTS OF COMBAT WITHOUT THE USE OF ‘FELT HONOR’, ALL THE ENERGY EXPENDED IS WASTED CAUSE YOU DON’T GET THAT INVESTMENT, AND MUCH MORE BESIDES, BACK. WITHOUT THE USE OF HIGHER EMOTIONS THESE PROCESSES ARE JUST ANIMAL WASTE, SO JUST WEAKEN YOU MORE AND MORE AS YOU AGE, INSTEAD OF ‘SPIRITUAL ENERGY WORK’, WHICH STRENGTHENS YOU THE MORE YOU DO THEM.

THIS IS WHAT TO ‘FETISHIZE REALITY’ MEANS, TO CHERRY PICK THE EASY AND THRILLING LITTLE BITS AND SEPARATE THEM FROM THE NATURAL MECHANSIMS THAT MAKES ALL OF THE DEEPER SPIRITUAL PROCESS WORK FOR YOU, INSTEAD OF AGAINST YOU. IT CAN NOT BE OVERSTATED JUST HOW MUCH THIS ‘CONSTANT EXHAUSTION’ DESTROYS YOUR LIFE – IT DESTROYS YOUR ENERGY LEVELS AND YOUR LIFE BECOMES THE TEDIOUS CYCLE AROUND ANY NUMBER OF ‘ADHD RESPONSES’. THIS IS DEEPLY REPELLANT TO SEE IN OTHER GIFTED – YOU SIMPLY DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND END UP KILLING YOURSELF FOR FUN. WORSE IF THIS PROCESS OCCURS VERY YOUNG, SAY EARLY TEENS, THEN IT WILL BECOME YOUR ‘GO TO’ AUTOMATIC PATTERN REACTION TO STRESS, AND WILL BE VERY DIFFICULT TO BREAK WITHOUT SKILLED INTERVENTION, AND I SPEAK FROM EXPEREINCE.   

IT ALWAYS AMAZES US TEACHER TYPES JUST HOW MUCH THE MOST COMMITTED HEDONIST BELIEVES THAT ALL SPIRITUALITY REQUIRES CHRISTIAN FAMILY VALUES, YET THAT IS ONLY REQUIRED FOR ANIMALS TO LIVE LONGER – GIFTED CAN ENGAGE IN THE BEHAVIOURS THEY ALREADY LOVE AFTER DEVELOPMENT AS LONG AS THEY LEARN TO DO THEM CORRECTLY! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT, YOU THINK IF IT FEELS GOOD DO IT, LIVE IT, CHASE IT, WHILST FAILING TO UNDERSTAND YOU ARE A CHILD WHO KNOWS NOTHING. SEE IF YOU UNDERSTOOD HOW YOUR EMOTIONS ACTUALLY WORK AND WAITED FOR THEM TO ‘TELL YOU WHAT TO DO’, INSTEAD OF CONTINUING TO FORCE YOURSELF INTO SITUATIONS YOU SIMPLY HOPE WILL EVOKE THE SAME OLD THRILL YOU CRAVE LIKE A DRUG ADDICT, THEN YOU WILL GET MUCH MORE VALUE OUT OF THE EXACT SAME THING.  

BUT YOU DON’T WANT THIS, YOU WANT TO BE A GUTLESS CUNT, A ‘SADASS’, DRIFTING AROUND, AND ITS NOT EVEN YOUR BLOODY FAULT – YOU DON’T SEE YOURSELF BEING THIS ‘FUCK UP’, DO YOU, YOU ARE HAPPY ‘TO FEEL A BIT BETTER’, NOW, SO ‘YOU CAN COPE’ WITH ‘IT ALL’. YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOUR COMFORTING PERVERSIONS OF YOUR BIOLOGY, YOUR FETISHES OF OTHERWISE NATURAL PROCESSESS OF GROWING UP, AS YOUR VERSION OF REALITY WORKS FOR YOU, WHILST BEING BLINDED TO THE FACT YOU ARE JUST A ‘STEREOTYPE’, ONE OF MILLIONS OF DRONES JUST LIKE YOU…

SEE THIS IS WHAT ‘YOUR SOCIETY’ WANTS YOU TO BE, A SLAVE WHO FANTAZIES THEY ARE ‘BADDIE’ WHILST BEING SCARED SHITLESS OF THE PILL HEAD TRASH IN THE STREET, YET IN SOME SMALL, PATHETIC AND VERY TEMPORARY WAY ‘CLEVER’ BECAUSE THAT ‘DELUSION COMFORTS YOU’. SOCIETY HAS PERFECTED THE ANTI-HEROIC FANTASY, THE MUSIC FESTIVAL, THE BRIEF HOLIDAYS FROM YOUR WORRIES, AND COMMON AVAILABILITY OF LEGAL/ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES THAT HELP YOU FANTAZIE EVEN FUCKING MORE THAN YOU DO NORMALLY, JUST TO GIVE YOU ENOUGH RELIEF FROM YOUR CITIZEN SLAVERY, TO KEEP YOU A HAPPY AND PRODUCTIVE SLAVE WHO IS ‘VERY UNLIKELY’ TO TURN ON ‘THE RICH’ AND KILL THEM ALL… 

AND THE EXCITEMENT OF BEING BADASS, I MEAN REALLY BITCH? TRUST ME, YOU DON’T WANNA BE A ‘CAREER CRIMINAL’ – ITS DANGEROUS, NASTY, SMELLY WORK, THE HEALTHCARE SUCKS, THE HOURS ARE HELL, THE PAY SPORADIC, AND IT ALWAYS ENDS BADLY BECAUSE YOU WILL LOSE – IT IS A LOTTERY, AND THE MAN WITH THE BIGGER GANG ALWAYS WINS. FRANKLY ITS NOT EVEN THAT EXCITING, PARTCUARLY WHEN YOU REALIZE NO MATTER HOW ‘BAD’ YOU THINK YOU ARE, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEBODY WORSE, SO YOU WILL NEED TO LEARN ‘HOW TO RUN’, EARLY DOORS. BESIDES, YOU ARE GUTLESS, SO YOUR BIOLOGLY AND LOWER MIDDLE CLASS ‘CONDITIONING’ WOULD REDUCE YOU TO A TERRIFIED PUDDLE OF PISS IN NO TIME, WHEN IT DAWNS ON YOU THERE IS NO ‘RELOAD’ BUTTON SO YOU CAN’T JUST RESTART THE LEVEL AGAIN ‘WHEN YOU DIE’…   

SO KNOW THIS VERY SIMPLY – WHEN YOU ADD UP ‘WHAT THE LIFE OF A CHILD’ ACTUALLY CONSISTS OF YOU WILL RAPIDLY DISCOVER THAT THERE IS LITTLE OR NOTHING WORTH DEFENDING – YOU EGO DEFENSE IS ALL RATHER A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME, BECAUSE ‘YOUR EGO DOES NOT EXIST’. SO ‘WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL THE CRUSHING, BURNING NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF IN THE MOMENT THEN’, YOU WIMPER? SIMPLE – IT IS ‘NOT YOU DEFENDING YOURSELF’, IT IS ‘IT – YOU THE CHILD – DEFENDING ITSELF’, AND THAT IS NOT YOU, HOWEVER MUCH NO ONE HAS EVER SHOWN YOU HOW TO ‘STOP IDENTIFYING WITH IT AS YOU’, AND JUST LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF AT THE TRASH TALK OF ONE MORE STUPID LITTLE TWAT, INSTEAD…

BE CLEAR – THE BELIEF THAT YOU ARE IN SOME WAY ‘BADASS’, COOL, RIGHT, HONEST, GOOD INSTEAD OF SEEING YOUR ‘CHILD’ SELF AS AN EMBARRASSING FREAK SHOW IS THE KEY REASON YOUR LIFE, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE IS A FRAGILE SHITSHOW THAT COULD BE CRUSHED BY ANY NUMBER OF EXTERNAL INFLUENCES YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER, AND TRUTH BE TOLD HAVE ALREADY SOLD YOU OUT, BECAUSE ‘NOBODY CARES’ ABOUT WHAT ‘YOU HAVE BECOME’… AND WHY WOULD THEY, I MEAN LOOK AT WHAT YOU FUCKING DO BITCH, WHAT YOU ‘ACTUALLY DO’ = THE RESULT OF YOUR ACTIONS?

STILL DON’T GET IT YET? OK THEN, CONSIDER THIS – UNDERSTAND WHY YOU NEED TO FEEL CLEVER TO COPE WITH ANYTHING.. 

WHEN ‘YOU ARE STUPID’ IT IS IMPOSSIBLE ‘TO KNOW YOU ARE STUPID’, AS YOU ARE ‘TOO STUPID TO KNOW ANYTHING’.

 KNOW THE WORD STUPID REALLY MEANS ‘STUNNED’ IN THE SENSE OF ‘BEING NUMB, STUCK IN A STUPOR’ – TO BE BLINDED BY ‘UNAWARENESS’.

SEE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE WALKING AROUND IN A KIND OF UN-NATURAL DAZE, ‘A HAZE OF ANXIETY’, A ‘BLACK TOXIC FOG’ THAT BLINDS YOU TO REALITY.

THIS WHOLE ‘DAZED AND CONFUSED’ FEELING HAS BECOME ‘YOUR NORMAL’, INDEED YOU DON’T WANT TO ESCAPE BECAUSE IT ‘NUMBS YOU TO PAIN’.

AT THE HIGHER LEVELS OF THIS TYPE OF ‘REACTIVE CHILDLIKE DELUSION’ YOU MAY EVEN CHASE THIS FATAL NUMBNESS HARD BY CONSTANT DRUG USE.

BUT THE ‘TELL’  TO HOW STUPID YOU ARE ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY’, HOW ‘BLIND’ = DELUDED YOU ARE, IS YOUR NEED ‘TO FEEL CLEVER CONSCIOUSLY‘.

THIS FAKE NEED VARIES AS IT IS DIRECTLY RELATED TO HOW ANXIOUS YOU FEEL IN THE MOMENT, OR HOW EXTERNAL FORCES MAKE YOU FEEL.

THE NEED FOR ‘MOMENTARY CLEVERNESS’, TO FEEL ‘YOU ARE WINNING VS ANXIETY’, IS THE CLASSIC ‘COMFORT’ OF A SHY, ATTENTION SEEKING CHILD’.

SO THIS IS ‘THE TRAP OF THE EXTENDED CHILDHOOD’, THAT YOU ARE SO BADLY STUCK IN THAT IT HAS LITERALLY DISAPPEARED…

OF COURSE, CLEVER BASTARDS ARE NOT KIND, BUT FEELING KIND WORKS AS ‘A RELIEF’ FROM THE BURDEN OF ‘KNOWING’ WHAT MOST FOLKS ARE – GUTLESS WANKERS, DESPERATE FOR THE NEXT CHEAP THRILL TO GET THEM THROUGH THE NEVER ENDING SHITSHOW OF THIER NASTY LITTLE LIVES… BUT ONLY STUPID CUNTS ‘NEED TO CHASE FEELING CLEVER’, ACTUAL CLEVER PEOPLE DON’T HAVE ANY NEED TO FEEL CLEVER, INDEED THAT WOULD BE ‘EMBARRASSING’ BECAUSE IT IS ‘GAUCHE’, ‘CLASSLESS’ – CLEVER FOLKS KNOW LIFE IS ABOUT ‘THE POWER OF CONSCIOUS CHOICE’. SEE CLEVER PEOPLE FEEL THE PRESSURE TO ‘FEEL KIND’ INSTEAD, BECAUSE BEING CLEVER MAKES YOU UNKIND, CALLOUS, VICIOUS, RUTHLESS.

THIS IS THE BASIS FOR THE ‘OLD SCHOOL’ CLASSIC SPIRITUAL CHARACTER, THE KIND BASTARD, THE ZEN MASTER, WHO IS ONLY INTERESTED IN YOUR PROGRESS, AS UNTIL YOU PROGRESS YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, WHY YOU SAYING IT LET ALONE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY. SO KNOW THAT CLEVER PEOPLE EITHER TELL THE TRUTH, SAY NOTHING, OR LIE CONSCIOUSLY FOR SOME DESIRED EFFECT THAT IS PREPLANNED, OFTEN INTENTED TO EITHER HELP YOU AGAINST YOU CHILDISH WILLFULLNESS, OR PROTECT YOU FROM YOUR CONSTANT FAILURE.  

BUT YOU DON’T, YOU LIE BY EXPRESSING OPINIONS AS TRUTHS YOU HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT, JUST SO YOU CAN ‘FEEL CLEVER’ = CHILDISH NARRCISSISM, AND YOU DON’T CARE, DO YOU, YOU NEED IT SO BAD IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT YOU ARE ‘GUESSING’ – YOU ARE ‘FULL OF SHIT’ BECAUSE EVERYBODYS IS FULL OF SHIT AND LIFE IS JUST A GAME OF CHANCE, WHERE THE STRONG EAT THE WEAK, SO NOTHING IS ‘YOUR FAULT’, BLAH, BLAH, FUCKING BLAH. IF YOU HEARD JUST SOME OF THE SELF WILLED SUICIDAL CRAP I’VE HAD TO LISTEN TO OVER THE YEARS YOU WOULD PISS YOURSELF LAUGHING…

YEP, IF YOU EVER THINK FOLKS LIKE ME ARE TALKING DOWN TO YOU THAT IS CAUSE WE ARE – EVEN WITH A DECENT CONNECTION TO A WELL READ STUDENT FINDING A ‘LANGUAGE YOU CAN BOTH SPEAK’ CAN TAKE LITERALLY YEARS. IN THE MEANTIME EVERYTHING SAID TO YOU HAS TO BE SIMPLFIED, DUMBED DOWN, PRESENTED SIDEWAYS TO GET PASSED YOU ANXIETY RESPONSES, AND TRUST ME THAT IS HARD WORK FOR THE BEST OF US. IF I EVOKE ANY KIND OF ANXIETY RESPONSE IN YOU (WHICH I WILL) THEN EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAVE, BASED ON YOUR OWN EGO DEFENSE WILL BE A FORM OF TORTURE, YOU WILL LITERALLY SHOW UP NEEDING TO BE CLEVER BEFORE YOU SAY ONE WORD – YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUCKING TEDIOUS THAT IS. YET ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS ADMIT YOUR CHILD HAS LOST AND START AGAIN, THEN TELL ME THE TRUTH BY ARTICULATING YOUR FEELING, BEST AS YOU CAN. 

SO TRY AND UNDERSTAND THIS – 

YES, CLEVER PEOPLE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, SO KNOW YOU ARE A ‘TOTALLY FAKE’, 2 FACED PIECE OF SHIT ‘UNDERNEATH’, WHILE YOU ARE TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO THIS, SIMPLY BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE SO STUPID’ YOU HAVE BECOME BLIND TO WHO YOU ARE ‘ON PURPOSE’, BECAUSE IT ‘FEELS BETTER’.

THE TERRIBLE IRONY OF ‘OF WANTING TO FEEL CLEVER’ IS ITS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF ‘BEING CLEVER’, BECAUSE IT’S ‘DELUSION’ – YOU HAVE TRADED ‘BEING CLEVER’ FOR FEELING ‘A BIT BETTER VIA CLEVERNESS’, IT IS ‘THE ROOT FEELING’ OF ALL YOUR DELUSIONS, YOUR SECRETS, YOUR FANTASIES.

THE FEELING OF ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’ MAKES YOU EVEN MORE STUPID, BLIND ‘IN THE MOMENT OF ANXIETY’ AS A PATTERN REACTION TO ANXIETY KICKS IN TO ‘COMFORT YOURSELF AUTOMATICALLY’, WITHOUT CONSCIOUS CHOICE.

AND YOUR ABILITY TO GENERATE THIS FEELING MAKES EVERYTHING FEEL ‘OK’, LIVING AS A GUTLESS CHILD, SO YOUR SUCCESS IN FEELING MOMENTARILY CLEVER, IN INCREASINGLY DESPERATE AND PATHETIC WAYS, IS WHAT IS GOING TO KEEP YOU STUCK LIVING AS A CHILD UNTIL DEATH.

OVERTIME THIS CONSTANTLY LYING BY REPEATING OPINIONS YOU NOW BELIEVE ARE TRUE NOT ONLY MAKES YOU FULL OF SHIT, IT FORMS A HARD SHELL AROUND YOU THAT IS ‘YOUR EGO’, THE CHILDISH BIASES YOU HAVE TO DEFEND, BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD TO DEFEND IT, SO IT BECOMES YOU.

AND HERE IS THE POINT OF ‘UNDERSTANDING’ THIS LITTLE SPEECH :-

REMEMBER NOW JUST HOW MUCH YOU ‘RESENTED’ READING THE ABOVE AS YOU READ IT, HOW MUCH ‘THE HACKLES’ OF YOUR ‘FAKE’ CHARACTER ROSE WITH EVERY LINE, WITH EVERY BURN YOU FELT, AS YOU RECOGNIZED YOURSELF AS A STUPID, DESPERATE LITTLE CHILD RIGHT BEFORE REJECTING IT BY TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO FEEL CLEVER ABOUT, THAT MAKES ‘ME’, OR ‘THIS’, OR US ‘WRONG’/CRAZY/BORING, SO THEN YOU ‘MUST BE RIGHT’.

THEN TAKE A MOMENT TO BE VERY FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THOSE BURNS, CAUSE THAT ‘MOMENTARY SHAME’, THAT YOUR CHILD QUICKLY BANISHED  MEANS YOU CAN STILL BE FIXED, AS WITHOUT THAT SHAME, IF YOU SIMPLY DID NOT SEE YOURSELF AT ALL, ITS ALREADY OVER, SORRY.

SEE THAT FELT SHAME, HOWEVER BRIEFLY MEANS ‘YOU ARE GIFTED’ AND HOWEVER MUCH YOU HAVE TRIED TO DESTROY IT, THE PAIN OF MISS-UNDERSTANDING IT AS A CHILD, IT DOES NOT MATTER CAUSE IT IS STILL THERE AT A USEABLE LEVEL – YOUR SPIRIT CAN STILL REACH YOU…

SEE ‘FEELING CLEVER’ IS THE ‘CORE RELIEF’ FROM ‘FELT ANXIETY’, AND AS A CHILD ‘YOUR ANXIETIES OWN YOUR ASS’, BUT YOUR SPIRIT IS STRONGER THAN THAT, STRONGER THAN YOU THE CHILD, YOUR CHILD HAS ONLY WON BECAUSE IT IS MORE PERSISTENT.

YES, SO NOW YOU, ‘YOUR CHARACTER’ IS BASED ON THE PREMISE OF ‘AVOIDING EMBARRASSMENT’ AT ALL COSTS – ‘EGO SAFETY’ – EVEN WHEN YOU ARE AN ACTUAL EMBARRASSMENT TO YOURSELF, SO YOU MUST DELUDE YOURSELF THAT IT HAS NOT HAPPENED AS A FORM OF ‘FORGETTING’. SO SEE CONCEPTUALLY RIGHT NOW, YOU TRADED AWAY WHATEVER LEVEL OF ‘SELF CONSCIOUSNESS’ YOU HAD, YOUR BIRTHRIGHT, IN ORDER TO ‘FEEL A LITTLE BETTER NOW’, SO EVERYTHING THAT ‘STILL’ CHALLENGES YOU TO GROW UP FEELS LIKE AN ‘ATTACK ON YOU’ BY ‘YOUR ENEMY’.

YET NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT, INDEED, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING A GOOD LITTLE KID BECAUSE YOU SOCIETY LIES TO YOU – YOUR SOCIETY WANTS YOU TO BE A GUTLESS SLAVE LIVING FOR THE W/E AS IT MAKES WAY EASIER TO CONTROL WITH JUST SOME CHEAP ‘PETTY RELIEF’ – YOUR SOCIETY HAS REMOVED GROWING UP VIA ‘CLASS SYSTEMS’ FROM THE ‘CURRICULUM’, SO NOW NOT GROWING UP IS ‘NORMAL’, HOWEVER MUCH YOUR SOCIETY STILL HERO WORSHIPS THOSE ‘WHO DO GROW UP’, UP TO THE POINT WHERE THEY KILL THEM FOR BEING TOO ‘BETTER THAN’ THEY ARE.

BUT THE ISSUE FOR THE SPIRITED FOLKS OF THIS WORLD IS MUCH WORSE – SEE THEY DON’T JUST FAIL AND OVERWHELM THEIR BIOLOGY WITH FANTASY, TO FAIL ‘THE NATURAL POINT OF EMBARRASSMENT’, THEY FAIL THEIR FIRST ‘GIFTED SHAME TEST’, THEY FAIL ‘SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT 101’. THAT SHAME, THE UNBEARABLE SHAME OF YOUR OWN ‘PERSONAL MORALITY GIFTED TO YOU BE YOUR ANCESTORS’ IS SUPPOSED TO BE ‘A SPUR’ TO DRIVE YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’ BUT IS NOW PERVERTED TO MAKE YOU ‘WORSE THAN’ – NOT GROWING UP WHEN ‘GIFTED’ IS ‘LIFE DESTROYING’, LEADING TO MADNESS, BLACKOUTS, DEPRESSION, TOTAL HUMILIATION THAT YOU ACCEPT BECAUSE IT FEELS ‘SAFER’ AGAINST ANXIETY, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS…

SO IF ANY OF THIS ‘TOUCHES A NERVE’ THEN THIS POST IS FOR YOU –

THIS POST WILL SHOW YOU ‘WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME’, AND ‘WHY YOU HAVE BECOME SUCH A GUTLESS CUNT…

I’M GOING TO SHOW SPIRITED FOLKS, LIKE YOU, HOW TO FIX THEMSELVES IN THE ‘REALWORLD’ STARTING WHEN YOU READ THE ABOVE,

SEE THE REASON YOU HAVE ALREADY STARTED IS THAT YOU HAVE PASSED ‘YOUR FIRST SHAME TEST’, AND NOW KNOW WHAT A SHAME TEST ‘IS’.

BUT FIRST, BEFORE YOU START THE PROCESS OF THIS, YOU HAVE TO ‘WANT TO GROW UP’, BECAUSE YOU’RE SOOOO ‘ASHAMED’ OFF YOUR ‘OLD SELF’… 

See being a Child WHO HAS NEVER GROWN UP makes you WANT TO STAY a Child, given it is fundamentally a ‘form of protection’, A SECURITY BLANKET, EVEN ‘A RUBBER DUMMY’, SO WE HAVE TO KICK THIS ONE UP A NOTCH TO ‘REACH YOU’ – pardon the drama, BUT YOU NEED IT, as WITHOUT ANXIETY YOU ‘CAN’T DO ANY-BLOODY-THING FOR YOURSELF’, you can only do ‘WHAT YOU ARE TOLD’, what the ‘HERD DOES’ – ANY CHANGE SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

If this is YOU then we can ASSURE YOU that all your immediate issues, you instability, your crushing anxiety, your depression, your SELF-SABOTAGE, your POINTLESS MOOD SWINGS, all your SECRETS and LIES will be CURED BY ‘GROWING UP’, as they all come FROM ‘NOT GROWING UP’ – ALL YOU PROBLEMS ARE THE PROBLEMS OF A CHILD who HAS TO live in a SECRET FANTASY WORLD IN ORDER TO COPE with ANXIETY, so you LIVE IN the DREAMS and NIGHTMARES of YOUR FAKE CHARACTER – NONE OF YOUR LIFE IS YOU, IT IS ALL A CHILDISH INVENTION THAT HAS SIMPLY GOT ‘OUT OF HAND’ BECAUSE YOU FORGOT TO ‘GROW OUT OF IT’, TO ‘SURPASS IT’.

And YES, for most of you IT IS THAT SIMPLE, but sadly the process of growing up in later life is NOT THAT SIMPLE, because it requires you to go against what you want to do URGENTLY, AUTOMATICALLY, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and being a slave to anxiety has WEAKENED YOU SO MUCH ‘THAT CHOICE TO CHANGE’ LOOKS LIKE A HUGE EFFORT YOU CANNOT MAKE, as WEAKNESS also MAKES YOU LAZY OUT OF ‘LACK OF ENERGY’, MUCH AS THAT IS NOT ‘YOUR CONSCIOUS FAULT’ – YOU ARE ‘CONDITIONED’ BY ‘CONSTANT ANXIETY’ TO ALWAYS ‘TRY AND FEEL A BIT BETTER’ IN THE FACE OF ANXIETY, SO YOU ARE ‘A SLAVE TO ANXIETY’.

SEE IT IS NOT ‘PERSONAL FAILURE’ TO BE LAZY, WEAK AND STUPID, CONSTANT ANXIETY HAS ‘DONE THIS’ TO YOU, like the hangover from a DRUG, BECAUSE TO LIVE WITH CONSTANT ANXIETY USES ALL YOUR ENERGY AND MORE BESIDES, SO YOU NOW HAVE AN ‘ENERGY DEBT’, YOU WAKE UP TIRED AND BROKEN, TERRIFIED OF EVERYTHING, THEN DO SHIT THAT MAKES YOU EVEN MORE WEAK JUST TO TRY AND FEEL A BIT BETTER. ITS THE PERFECT TRAP, ITS FEEDS ITSELF, NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK YOU DO, THINK YOU WANT, YOU ARE COMPELLED TO ‘TRY AND FEEL BETTER’, WHICH DESTROYS EVEN YOUR BEST INTENTIONS AS IT WEAKENS YOU EVEN MORE, SO YOU TRY EVEN HARDER TO FEEL BETTER, AND ON IT GOES… 

So UNDERSTAND THIS, as a VERY long story SHORT: 

BEING A CHILD IS ABOUT ‘BEHAVING’ WITH ‘WEAKNESS’ IN THE ‘FACE OF ANXIETY’ = A GUTLESS CUNT.

BEHAVING MEANS ‘REACTING AUTOMATICALLY’ AS A PREDEFINED PATTERN THAT ‘OCCURS TO YOU’ WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT.

SO THESE PATTERN REACTIONS ARE ALREADY THERE AS MEMORIES, WAITING TO BE ‘TRIGGERED’, SO THEY APPEAR TO YOU AS ‘INSTINCTIVE’.

BUT THEY ARE ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’ AS THEY ARE ‘LEARNT’ IN CHILDHOOOD AS WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU FEEL ANXIOUS.

USING THEM CONSTANTLY THEN MAKES YOU MUCH WEAKER, USING YOUR FREE ENERGY ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY’ TO ‘MAINTAIN THAT AUTOMATIC BEHAVIOUR’.

SEE BEING A CHILD MAKES ALL WEAKNESS COMFORTUABLE, ACCEPTABLE VIA ‘THE DELUSION OF FEELING BETTER FOR A MOMENT’ = ‘EGO DEFENSE’.

BUT ALL THOSE UNCONSCIOUS ‘FEEL-GOOD’ REACTIONS REQUIRE A HUGE AMOUNT OF YOUR ENERGY TO POWER, SO THEY WEAKEN YOU CONSTANTLY.

TO ‘CHANGE’ YOU MUST ‘FIRST FIGHT YOUR INNER CHILD’ TO GET ‘YOUR ENERGY BACK’ – ENERGY ‘IT’ CURRENTLY WASTES BUT YOU NEED ‘TO CHANGE’.

SO BEFORE YOU START THE PROCESS OF GROWING UP, YOU MUST START THE PROCESS OF RECOVERING THE ENERGY THAT YOUR CHILD HAS WASTED.

And this first step – TO TAKE CONSCIOUSLY RESPONSIBILITY FOR HOW YOU USE YOUR ENERGY – means you must BE HIGHLY MOTIVATED: 

BEFORE YOU CAN ‘GROW UP’ YOU MUST GET TO A POINT WHERE IT IS OBVIOUS EVEN TO YOU THAT BEING A CHILD IS HARMING YOU, KILLING YOU FAR QUICKER THAN OLD AGE ALONE, AND IF YOU DON’T STOP LIFE IS GOING TO START TO HURT, ALL THE TIME.

YES, THIS IS THE INFAMOUS SWEET SPOT THAT IS BAKED INTO ‘THE FATE’ OF ALL GIFTED, THE 2ND CHANCE AT LIFE, AND EVEN WHEN ITS CLEAR YOU ARE NOW ‘RUNNING ON EMPTY’, YOU ARE EXHAUSTED, CONFUSED, UNHAPPY, YOU CAN STILL CHANGE, IF ‘YOU KNOW HOW TO’.

BUT THERE IS ‘NO MAGIC PILL’ TO GROWING UP IN LATER LIFE – YOU MUST FIGHT ‘YOUR CHILD’ TO GET YOUR ENERGY BACK BY STOPPING IT, THEN USE THAT ENERGY ‘CONSCIOUSLY’ TO DECIDE TO GROW UP, AS WITHOUT THAT ENERGY YOU ARE DOOMED, BECAUSE YOU MUST ‘BUY’ CHANGE WITH ‘ENERGY’.

SEE SHOULD YOU EVER GROW UP YOU WILL REALIZE THAT REAL LIFE IS ABOUT ‘THE FELT USE OF POWER’, THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT WORTH LIVING, BUT YOU THINK LIFE IS ABOUT THE FELT USE OF COMFORT, RELIEF, SAFETY, LITTLE THRILLS, WHICH ARE ALL DELUSIONS, A CHILDS REALITY.

THE KEY JUMPING OFF POINT FOR THIS REALIZATION THAT ‘IN LIFE YOU EITHER CHOOSE POWER OR COMFORT’, YOU CHOOSE THE ‘LIFE OF THE INDIVIDUAL’ OR THE ‘LIFE OF A SLAVE’ BY UNDERSTANDING YOU NEED TO TAKE ‘RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ENERGY’.

BY NOT GROWING UP YOU HAVE ‘GIVEN UP’ THIS RESPONSIBILITY ‘CONSCIOUSLY’ AND HANDED IT OVER TO YOUR ‘UNCONSCIOUS CHILD’, WHO NOW WASTES ALL YOUR ENERGY ON THE CREATION ‘OF’, AND THE REACTIONS ‘TO’, CONSTANT ANXIETY, WHILST OCCASIONALLY GIVING ‘YOU’ SOME RELIEF.

SO EVEN THIS EARLY IT IS VERY USEFUL TO CHECK YOURSELF AND SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING OUT OF THE ‘CONSCIOUS USE OF POWER AGAINST CHALLENGE’ AS AN INDIVIDUAL, AND WHAT IS A ‘REACTION TO CIRCUMSTANCE AND MOMENTARY FEELING’ AS A SLAVE TO ANXIETY.

SEE TO USE POWER AGAINST CHALLENGE IS ‘TO LIVE’, BUT TO SIMPLY REACT AS YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ANXIETY IS JUST ‘TO EXIST’ – IT IS VERY, VERY USEFUL TO SEE YOURSELF IN THIS WAY, AND SO SEE THE CHANCES YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THINGS NOW, BECAUSE ‘THE RISK’ IS LOW ENOUGH FOR YOU.

THERE IS A VERY BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTING AND REACTING, AS ONE IS ACTIVE IN TERMS OF TRYING TO CHANGE WHAT NORMALLY HAPPENS FOR THE BETTER, AND THE OTHER IS DEFENSIVE, TO KEEP YOUR SELF SAFE, LIKE A PUSSY, BECAUSE ALL CHANGE LOOKS ‘EVEN WORSE THAN THIS’.

THIS IS THE REASON WHY MOST FOLKS CANNOT CHANGE UNTIL THEIR LIFE HITS ROCK BOTTOM, WHERE THEY CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT ANY-FUCKING-THING IS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT, AND EVEN THEN THEIR INNER CHILD WILL KICK AND SCREAM AGAINST IT, BECAUSE IT IS ‘WHO YOU ARE’.

BUT IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE, AS WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME IS ‘FAKE’, SO TO CHANGE BEFORE YOU HIT BOTTOM YOU MUST SEE THERE IS NATURAL, VIABLE ALTERNATIVE, BASED ON REAL POWER, RATHER THAN ‘THE FAKE DELUSION OF PETTY CLEVERNESS’ = THE FEELING OF FLEETING ‘FAKE POWER’.

AND IF YOU ARE GIFTED IT FEELS MUCH BETTER TO BE FREE OF ANXIETY AND SO ‘CHOOSE CHALLENGE’ NATURALLY, BECAUSE YOU BECOME ‘MUCH BIGGER’ THAN MOST EVERYDAY CHALLENGES WHICH NOW LOOK MUCH SMALLER – IT IS LITERALLY A WHOLE LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS ABOVE IT.

SEE AT ‘THE LEVEL OF A CHILD’ EVERYTHING IS FAKE – YOU DON’T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHAT IT IS TO ‘BE ALIVE’.

SO KNOW NOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING –

OUR APPROACH TO ‘THIS LIFE’ IS ‘THE CHALLENGE OF ADVENTURE’, BUT YOURS IS ‘A SAFE SLEEP WALK INTO DEATH’…

SEE BEING A CHILD MEANS YOU HAVE AN INCREDIBLY ‘LOW RISK THRESHOLD’, ALL THE TIME, OUT OF THE HABIT OF ‘SAFE’ PATTERN REACTIONS…

BUT BEING AN ADULT MEANS YOU HAVE A ‘VERY HIGH RISK’ THRESHOLD BECAUSE YOU ‘STOP YOUR REACTONS’, SO CHASE THE FUN OF ‘CHALLENGE’.

YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS OF EGO-SAFETY CONTROL YOUR RISK THRESHOLD TO CONTROL YOU – SO CHANGE THEM FIRST!

SEE THE PRECIOUS ‘EGO SAFETY OF A CHILD’ NEVER WORKED, NO MATTER HOW WILD YOUR REACTIONS TO ANXIETY – YOU ARE STILL A GUTLESS CUNT.

KNOW NOW CHALLENGE AND ANXIETY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME THING, JUST VIEWED FROM A DIFFERENT LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, A ‘HIGHER ONE’.

SO MUCH AS THEY WILL FEEL VERY DIFFERENT, THEY ARE BOTH LITTLE PACKETS OF EMOTIONAL ENERGY YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH THAT CHALLENGE.

BUT TO SEE THAT YOUR PERSPECTIVE NEEDS TO CHANGE, AS YOU MUST BECOME BIGGER THAN ANXIETY TO SEE IT CORRECTLY AS CHALLENGE..

THE ISSUE IS THAT YOU DON’T SEE THAT, YOU SEE ANXIETY AS ‘TOO BIG’, SO SOMETHING TO BE AVOIDED, LESSENED, FORGOTTEN, IGNORED.

YOU HAVE MADE ANXIETY OUT OF NOTHING BY RUNNING FROM IT, LIKE A GUTLESS CUNT, SO IT IS BIGGER THAN YOU, SO PARALYSIES YOU.

BUT ANXIETY, AND SO COMFORT FROM ANXIETY AS YOU UNDERSTAND IT ONLY EXISTS FOR ‘A CHILD’, AS A TEMPORARY REALITY.

AS A GROWN UP IT BECOMES ‘THE CHALLENGE’ THAT EVOKES ‘THE FEELING OF POWER’ IN YOU, AS A ‘REACTION TO CHALLENGE’.

BUT YOU ARE STUCK AS A CHILD, SO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, AS YOU ARE ‘DELUDED’…

BECAUSE YOU HAVE CHOSEN A LIFE OF COMFORT VS ANXIETY, INSTEAD OF POWER VS CHALLENGE.

SO KNOW BY SEEING IT IN YOURSELF – THE MINDSTATE OF A CHILD IS A SHITSHOW –

A MUCH BIGGER AND BETTER ‘NATURAL WAY’ EXISTS…

SHOULD YOU HAVE HAD EVEN A TINY TASTE OF REAL LIFE BEFORE NOW, THEN YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO REMEMBER, AGAINST ‘YOU THE CHILD’ WILLFULLNESS NOT TO REMEMBER, WITH JUST A LITTLE EFFORT AS A SMALL REPURPOSING OF YOUR ENERGY TO ‘THINK FOR A CHANGE’ instead of just REACTING LIKE A bitch, THAT ALL your RELIEFS FROM ANXIETY HAVE SO LITTLE VALUE even the BLOODY WORDS HAVE NO MEANING IN THEMSELVES – YOUR COMFORTING REACTIONS ARE ‘RELATIVE DELUSIONS’, EXISTING ONLY ‘AGAINST FELT ANXIETY’, AS A TYPE OF ‘LESS ANXIETY’ in the ‘CONTEXT OF CONSTANT ANXIETY’. COMFORT IS SIMPLY A DIFFERENT TYPE OF THE SAME ANXIETY, SO CHASING COMFORT IS CHASING MORE ANXIETY…

ITS A CON, AND YOU FALL FOR IT EVERY DAY, SO YOU, YOUR WORLD, YOUR FUTURE, YOUR MINDSTATE GETS SMALLER EVERYDAY, SO YOUR TENDENCY TOWARD ANXIETY GETS WORSE, AND WORSE EVERYDAY, UNTIL SOMETHING SNAPS AS YOU BECOME TOO WEAK TO KEEP IT TOGETHER… See the LIFE OF A CHILD is based on chasing LESS ANXIETY AS A GOAL because that is what ‘A CHILD NEEDS TO DO TO FEEL A BIT BETTER FOR A MOMENT’, which is what ‘a child is’, a lived life as the THE PROCESS OF CHASING LESS ANXIETY CONSCIOUSLY, WHILST CHASING MORE ANXIETY UNCONSCIOUSLY, so you are actually chasing NOTHING.

SEE IT – YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY IN A CIRCLE THAT TAKES YOU BACK TO WHERE YOU STARTED, so YOU BECOME NOTHING, you BECOME THE PROCESS OF WEAKENING YOURSELF, OVER AND OVER – scary eh, WHEN YOU SEE YOU ARE SIMPLY CIRCLING ‘THE DRAIN OF YOUR LIFE’ like a smackhead, but most FOLKS do, as they never grew up – YOUR LIFE BECOMES ONE TEDIOUS MOOD SWING AFTER ANOTHER, AND NONE OF IT MATTERS A DAMN…

NOW YOU SHOULD ALREADY BE ABLE TO SEE ‘CONCEPTUALLLY’ THAT TO LIVE A LIFE SOAKED, DRENCHED IN ‘REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’ IS NOT WORTH LIVING.

IT IS TO LIVE IN THE TINY ATTIC BOX BEDROOM YOU WERE FORCED TO SLEEP IN DURING CHILDHOOD, LITTLE MORE THAN A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL.

SEE ANXIETY IS ‘HOW THEY DOMESTICATE ANIMALS’ – THE ‘THREAT OF IMAGINED CONSEQUENCES’ TO CONTROL THE WEAK, TO BREAK YOUR SPIRIT.

ONCE ACHIEVED ALL THEY NEED TO CONTROL YOU IS TO ‘LESSEN YOUR ANXIETY FOR A MOMENT OR 2‘, SO YOU THINK THEIR IS HOPE FOR A BETTER LIFE.

BUT THERE ISN’T, ALL IS AN ILLUSION, A CRUEL GAME, A MEANINGLESS TRICK, WHICH IS WHY EVEN WILD ANIMALS ARE ‘BETTER, HIGHER THAN YOU’.

SEE THEY ARE ‘FREE’ WHILST YOU ARE SLAVE TO ANXIETY, WHICH NOW MEANS SLAVERY TO ‘TEMPORARY COMFORT FROM ANXIETY’, LIKE A FOOL.

TO BE A SLAVE IS TO BE ‘CONDITIONED’ TO DO THINGS AGAINST YOUR BETTER NATURE, SO YOU THINK YOU WANT TO DO THEM – THAT IS WHAT ‘SELF SABOTAGE’ AS A TEMPORARY RELIEF FROM ANXIETY IS.

SEE FOR THIS KNOWLEDGE ‘TO WORK’, YOU MUST FEEL IT, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY ‘REMEMBER IT’, BECAUSE YOU USUALLY FORGET EVERYTHING, CAUSE FORGETTING EVERYTHING IS THE WAY A CHILD LEARNS TO COPE WITH THE CONSTANT ‘BAD FEELINGS’ OF A COWARD. 

SO TO HELP YOU REMEMBER I WILL GIVE YOU THE BEST HOOK OF ALL –

YOUR CHILD HAS GROWN TO HATE YOU, CAUSE ‘IT WANTS YOU TO SUFFER ANXIETY’, SO IT WILL ‘SABOTAGE CONSCIOUS YOU’ CONSTANTLY BECAUSE ‘YOU HAVE TAUGHT IT TOO’!

YOU THE CHILDS ONLY REAL JOB IS TO ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY MAKE CONSTANT ANXIETY’ BEHIND THE SCENES, WHICH ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ THEN PROJECTS ONTO WHAT IS IN FRONT OF YOU IN ORDER TO REACT TO IT – ANXIETY WORKS LIKE A ‘PRESSURE THAT EXPANDS’ UNLESS YOU ‘POP THE BUBBLE’ OF IT.

THE REASON IT DOES THIS, THE REASON YOU FEEL WORRIED AND SO STRESSED THAT YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND CLEARLY ‘HATES YOU’ IS BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT IT TO DO THIS AS A CHILD BY ‘CONSTANTLY REACTING TO ANXIETY’ AS A WAY OF LIFE – YOU ‘AGREED TO THIS BY DOING IT’.

THE TRICK OF COURSE IS TO REALIZE THAT ‘YOU MUST FIGHT ANXIETY BY IGNORING IT’ TO GET THIS ENERGY BACK.

SEE WHEN YOU HAVE ENERGY AGAIN THEN ALL YOUR CURRENT LOVE FOR THE LIFE OF A CHILD WILL FADE,

ALL YOUR EXCUSES OF JUST NEEDING SOMETHING ‘TO COPE’ WILL SMELL OF THE DOG SHIT THEY ARE,

ALL YOUR ‘SO WHAT, I’M STILL A ROCK STAR’ WILL APPEAR DEEPLY STUPID, AS YOU ARE NOT A ROCKSTAR, ARE YOU,

SO THEN YOU ARE A JUST ONE MORE NARRCISTIC CUNT ‘WHO PRETENDS AS A LIFE’ – TO LIVE IN A DELUSION, YOU ARE BLIND.

SEE ALL YOU NEED IS ‘THE MOTIVATION TO FIGHT YOUR ANXIETY REACTIONS’, IN THE MOMENT OF YOUR EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO ANXIETY ‘TRIGGERING’, BUT AS YOU WILL FIND THAT IS ‘EASIER SAID, THAN DONE’ in reality, AS YOU WILL START OFF INCREDIBLY ‘WEAK WILLLED’ BECAUSE ‘YOUR CHILD WILL REACT AGAINST’ THIS SMALL USE OF FORCE ON YOUR PART, AND PUSH BACK HARDER THAN YOU PUSH FORWARD. This is a huge problem for the THE WEAK, LIKE YOU, cause your child has all your energy unconsciously, so YOU HAVE VERY LITTLE ENERGY TO USE CONSCIOUSLY – YOU GET TIRED VERY QUICKLY, YOU HAVE NO STAMINA FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN YOUR ‘FEAR DRIVEN MANIAS’ = YOUR CHILDS PATTERNS. 

So you must see what you have become in REAL TIME, AS IT ACTS OUT, FIRST and the best way to see WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME is to test yourself in a way you are certain to fail, so you can accept that currently, YOU TAKE ALMOST NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ENERGY, YOUR CHILD CONTROLS YOUR ENERGY, WHAT YOU DO WITH IT, ALMOST ALL THE TIME. INDEED, MOST OF YOU HAVE TO FIRST ‘FEED YOUR CHILD ALL YOUR FREE ENERGY’ BEFORE THERE IS ANY SMALL GAP AT ALL IN THIS EMOTIONAL WALL OF SHITE, BUT THEN YOU ARE TOO WEAK AND STUPID TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, so just feel bored or depressed or lost OR LAZY, what they now CALL ‘DISASSOCIATION FROM YOU THE CHILD’, and its surprising common…

SO TEST YOURSELF NOW…

SEE HOW BIGGER CHILD YOU STILL ARE – CAN YOU ‘SIT STILL AND DO NOTHING’ FOR 1 WHOLE MIN WITHOUT BEING ‘OVERWHELMED’ WITH THE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ‘TOTALLY TRIVIAL’ THAT APPEARS TO YOU AS ‘URGENT’.

DON’T TRY AND RELAX, BE CALM, ZONE OUT, JUST STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND THEN TRY NOT TO REACT TO ANY THOUGHT THAT CROSSESS YOU MIND, THAT WANTS YOU TO REACT TO ‘IT’, BY TAKING ‘RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF’ CONSCIOUSLY.

WHAT YOU WILL FIND TYPICALLY, IS THAT AFTER A COUPLE OF SUCCESSFULL GOES AT STOPPING YOUR REACTIONS YOU THE CHILD WILL REACT TO YOU ‘NOT REACTING’ BY AMPING UP THE EMOTIONAL URGENCY OF SOME THOUGHT THAT MAKES IT UNBEARABLE.

THIS THOUGHT WILL NOT BE RATIONALE, PASSIVE, IT WILL BE SOMETHING ‘YOU JUST REMEMBERED IS URGENT’, THAT YOU THEN QUICKLY ‘JUSTIFY AFTERWARDS’, BUT IT WILL FEEL TO YOU LIKE THE FEELING AND THOUGHT HAPPEN AT THE SAMETIME.

SEE YOU THINK YOUR THOUGHTS ARE ALL LIKE THIS, THAT YOU INTERNAL REACTIONS TO WHAT YOU THINK CAUSE YOUR EMOTIONS BUT THAT IS NOT TRUE, YOUR ANXIETY LEVEL FEELINGS ACTUALLY CAUSE YOUR THOUGHTS AS ‘INSTINCTS’.

SEE THIS REACTION WAS NOT A ‘CONSCIOUS THOUGHT’, IT WAS A PATTERN REACTION TO ANXIETY FORCED ON YOU BY ‘YOUR CHILD’ IN ORDER TO GET YOU TO REACT ‘NOW’, BECAUSE YOUR CHILD BECAME ‘FRUSTRATED WITH YOU NOT REACTING’.

THIS IS A VERY USEFUL TRICK LATER, AS IT ALLOWS YOU TO SEE YOUR CHILDS REACTIONS MUCH CLEARER, STRONGER, AND SO HELPS TO SEPARATE CONSCIOUS THOUGHT FROM PATTERNS REACTIONS SO YOU CAN HARVEST THAT ENERGY BACK.

BUT FOR NOW YOU ONLY NEED TO GET ONE THING – THE REASON YOU DON’T SEE YOUR THOUGHT TRIGGERS IS THAT YOU ARE TOO FUCKING SLOW MENTALLY, SO THE ACT OF REFLECTING ON A THOUGHT CAN ONLY HAPPEN SOMETIME AFTER THAT TRIGGER.

SEE AT A CHILDS LEVEL YOU CAN ONLY THINK ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME, SO THE REFLECTIVE ACTION OF CONSCIOUSNESS ALWAYS HAPPENS AFTER THE FIRST THOUGHT, SO THE EMOTIONAL TRIGGER HAS ALREADY GONE, AND ALL YOU SEE IS THE REACTION.

AND THIS IS THE REASON YOU ‘KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO’, BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW THE REASON YOU DO IT, ‘THE WHY’ THAT HAS CAUSED IT IN YOUR ‘EMOTIONAL MOMENTS’, SO YOU HAVE TO RATIONLIZE IT WITH BOLLOCKS INSTEAD ‘AFTERWARDS’.

INDEED THIS IS THE REASON THAT ‘YOU DON’T WANT TO GROW UP’, BECAUSE YOU DON’T REALIZE THE PURILE, EGO DEFENSIVE TRIGGERS THAT CAUSE YOUR REACTIONS, YOUR BEHAVIOUR, YOUR CHARACTER – YOU HAVE ‘FORGOTTEN THEM’…

SO IN ORDER TO ‘WANT TO GROW UP’, ‘TO CHANGE’ BY FIRST ‘CHANGING YOUR MIND’ AND ‘DECIDE TO TAKE REPOSNIBILITY’ FOR HOW ‘YOU USE YOUR ENERGY’, YOU MUST GET THAT YOU DON’T SEE THIS AWFUL CONJOB, YOU ARE DELUDED, ALL THE TIME…

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU MUST SEE YOU HAVE ACTUALLY TRADED AWAY YOUR SELF CONSCIOUS AWARENESS, YOUR ‘EMBARRASSMENT OF YOURSELF’ AT A CHILDISH LEVEL IN ORDER TO ‘FEEL SLIGHTLY MORE COMFORTUABLE’.

SO YOU MUST SEE WHAT THIS HAS DONE TO YOU NOW, WHY IT HAS MADE YOU A ‘CHILDISH FUCK UP’.

Yes, before you want to grow up you must see what NOT GROWING UP HAS DONE TO YOU, cause we know that all that is GOOD in the ‘life of a child’ is a FANTASY, IS SECRET, that everything that makes your life bearable has to be hidden, because YOUR REAL LIFE, YOUR PUBLIC LIFE IS A BIT OF ‘SHIT SHOW’ IS IT NOT, and just like every child YOU COMPENSATE BY DOING CREEPY, SLEAZY, EXCITING THINGS IN SECRET, THINGS YOU COULD NEVER DO OR SAY IN PUBLIC, cause you ain’t got the balls for it – BEING A CHILD MAKES YOU GUTLESS, IT MAKES YOU ALWAYS WANT TO RUN AWAY, INSTEAD OF RUN TOWARDS THE CHALLENGE YOU NEED, SO YOU CREEP OFF TOWARD ‘COMFORT’ INSTEAD.

Yes, all that actually makes you feel GOOD, POWERFUL, CLEVER, DESIREABLE, FUNNY is ‘PATHETIC’, both in its original meaning ‘to do something, anything in order to feel briefly different’ and its current meaning which is ‘to arouse pity, sorrow, grief later on, making you feel INFERIOR, or in others WHO THINK YOU ARE INADEQUATE, A LOSER’. But you CAN NEVER FACE THAT FOR REAL, AS YOU need YOUR SHIT to COMPENSATE YOURSELF FOR BEING NOTHING IN THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE NOTHING, YOU HAVE TOLD YOURSELF, TAUGHT YOURSELF YOU WANT TO BE NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU HAVE REJECTED CHALLENGE FOR COMFORT, HOWEVER MUCH YOU DID NOT REALIZE THAT WAS THE ACTUAL CHOICE YOU WERE MAKING AT THE TIME, IN CHILDHOOD. 

SO YOU ARE ‘DELUSIONAL’ CAUSE YOU UNDERPERFORM YOURSELF IN THE WORLD, SO YOU ARE HUMILIATED EVEYRDAY WHICH MEANS TO HUMBLED BY PEOPLE, SITUATIONS, ACCCIDENTS THAT YOU COULD OTHERWISE EASILY DEAL WITH GIVEN ‘THE RESOURCES’ AVAILABLE FROM ‘YOUR NATURAL LEVEL’,  YOU ‘UNDERACHIEVE’ SIMPLY BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE A CHILD’ WHO HAS CHOSEN THIS PATH OF MEDICORITY ON PURPOSE BECAUSE ‘THEY THINK’ IT PROTECTS THEM FROM ANXIETY, SO YOU HAVE TO BE SPECIAL ‘IN YOUR MIND’ INSTEAD. And now you ‘FEEL SAFE’ FROM ‘THE ANXIETY YOU ARE SLAVE TOO’, WHICH IS WHAT ‘CHASING TEMPORARY COMFORT’ REALLY IS – IT IS A ‘MINDSET’, A TRAP YOU ARE STUCK IN, AND IT IS ‘OBVIOUS’, AS YOU ARE, MORE OR LESS, ‘SOMEWHERE ON THE SPECTRUM of MENTAL ILLNESS’.

See YOU HAVE THE MINDSET OF A CHILD BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER CHANGED IT, grown out of it, SO YOU ARE DOMINATED BY YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, YOU LITERALLY LIVE ‘IN-FEAR’, ANXIETY, using the biological RELIEFS of an animal to COMFORT YOURSELF, whilst thinking they are DESIRES, PLEASURES LIKE AN IMMATURE ‘FOOL’ – you DELUDE yourself to protect yourself from THE ANXIETY that ‘YOUR REALITY’ WOULD OTHERWISE CAUSE YOU TO CONFRONT. YET YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PETTY POWER, THE FEELING OF SECRET CLEVERNESS, so you literally MAKE IT UP, everyday in everyway you can, even if its just gossiping about folks you would never have the balls to say a word to IN REALITY, because you have become a GUTLESS CUNT. 

So now You have NO INTEREST in the TRUTH, because your life is about EGO SAFETY, your truth is simply proving whatever crap comes out of your mouth is ‘RIGHT’, so you are ‘GOOD’, in ORDER TO PROTECT YOUR PETTY FEELINGS, so YOU ARE FOOLED BY ‘PATTERN REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’ ORIGINALLY INTENDED ‘TO PROTECT A CHILD FROM HURT’, WHICH YOU HAVE NOW FORGOTTEN, SO YOU NO LONGER SEE THE TRUTH, the actual truth is overpowered by your patterns because you have been ‘CONDITIONED’ MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY, INSTINCTIVELY TO ‘ACCEPT CONDITIONING VIA ANXIETY’ – YOU WERE CONDITIONED IN CHILDHOOD TO ‘ALWAYS REACT’ TO YOUR ‘ANXIETY TRIGGERS’, and now you are stuck with A ‘CHARACTER’ OF ‘NO CHARACTER’, A SET OF FAKE ‘LEARNT INSTINCTS’ YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU HAVE.

Sadly you have never been shown how to stop that, BECAUSE YOU NEVER GREW UP – YOU NEVER OVER POWERED THESE AUTOMATIC REACTIONS, SO NOW THESE PATTERNS, YOUR SECRET ‘FAKE’ CHARACTER HAS DISAPPEARED FROM YOUR CONSCIOUS VIEW – YOU HAVE ‘BECOME IT’, so now you are TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT, and you don’t care, just as long as you think you are RIGHT, WHICH MEANS ‘YOU THINK OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE RIGHT’, even though they actually don’t believe a word you say, they are just pretending to ‘LIKE YOU’ in general as long as you have some UTILITY for them, they are not really listening to a word you fucking say, CAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY FULL OF SHIT.

Yes, you think you are right BECAUSE ‘YOU’ ARE RIGHT IF ‘YOU FEEL YOU ARE RIGHT’, as NOT BEING RIGHT ‘FEELS BAD’, so you must always find a way to be RIGHT BY FEELING ‘PETTY POWERFUL’ = CLEVER = ‘TEMPORARILY FAKE POWERFUL’, HOWEVER TRIVIAL AND MEANINGLESS WHAT YOU FEEL POWERFUL ABOUT IS IN REALITY, whatever the truth is, BECAUSE AS A CHILD YOU CANNOT COPE WITH ANXIETY, YOU CANNOT RISE ABOVE IT, you, YOUR MIND STATE IS just to fucking SMALL, SO EVEN MILD ANXIETY OVERWHELMS YOU, CRUSHES YOU, INCAPACITATES YOU, and make you want to CRAWL INTO A CORNER and cry like a fucking baby, cause that is what you are, BECAUSE YOU NEVER CHANGED IT AND GREW UP, YOU WERE NEVER SHOCKED OUT OF IT.

So ‘THE REAL FEELING OF BEING RIGHT’ HAS BEEN REPLACED BY THE FEELING OF ‘BEING CLEVER’, which is why you don’t even realize you are full of shit, you simply have ‘any opinion’ as a ‘COMFORTER’ FROM ANXIETY of not knowing anything. And then a TERRIBLE, life destroying, catastrophic thing happens – EVEN WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU ARE CONSCIOUSLY WRONG, YOU CAN’T FACE THE ANXIETY OF THAT WRONGNESS, SO ‘DOUBLE DOWN’ ON YOUR WRONG OPINION IN ORDER ‘TO MAKE IT RIGHT’, SO MAKING IT INTO AN ‘UNCONSCIOUS FAKE TRUTH’. So you start the AWFUL process of BUILDING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ON TOP OF WRONG OPINIONS, THAT THEN BECOME ‘INSTINCTIVE PATTERN REACTIONS’, so your whole life becomes BUILT ON A PILE OF ROTTING DOG SHIT, that you have forgotten is wrong, BECAUSE THAT IS WHO YOU ARE NOW – THAT IS YOUR FAKE CHARACTER = A REPLACEMENT FOR HAVING ‘NO CHARACTER’.   

At this point 4th Wayers use the term ‘FAKE YOU’ to describe WHO you are now – YOU ARE THE ‘ANTI-YOU’, A BIG FUCKED UP ‘MESS OF SELF SABOTAGING REACTIONS’ that you follow INSTINCTIVELY in order to feel BETTER, THAT YOU DON’T EVEN ‘WANT TO KNOW ARE THERE’, YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO USE THEM, OTHERWISE YOU FEEL SO BAD YOU BECOME DEPRESSED, TERRIFIED, LOST AND ALONE, so it is often accompanied by DRUG USE IN LATER LIFE, to help you push past any reference to reality, IN ORDER TO MAKE YOUR FANTASY AS WATER TIGHT AS YOU CAN…  

RIGHT NOW YOU ARE STUCK WITH THE ‘FAKE CHARACTER’ YOU HAD IN YOUR EARLY TO MID TEENS.

I KNOW YOU DON’T THINK THAT BECAUSE THAT CHARACTER HAS ‘GONE UNDERGROUND’, SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE GROWN UP.

BUT THAT CHARACTER STILL CONTROLS WHAT YOU DO ‘INSTINCTIVELY’, AS YOU CREATED A ‘WALL’ BETWEEN CONSCIOUS YOU AND UNCONSCIOUS YOU.

THE CREATION OF THAT WALL WAS YOUR VERSION OF GROWING UP, TO SEEK COMFORT FROM ANXIETY, INSTEAD OF FACING ANXIETY AND KILLING IT.

SO CONSCIOUS YOU HAS TO COMPENSATE FOR YOUR REAL BEHAVIOUR BY LYING TO YOURSELF, ‘BLANKING OUT’ YOUR FAKE CHARACTER ‘TRIGGERS’.

BY NOT GROWING UP YOU ACTUALLY WENT ‘SLIGHTLY MAD’, BECAUSE YOU HAD TO ACCEPT ‘DELUDING YOURSELF’ TO ‘FEEL BETTER IN THE MOMENT’.

THIS IS WHY TEACHERS SAY ‘YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO’, WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU OVER AND OVER, NOT WHAT YOU THINK CAUSE THAT IS BOLLOCKS.

SO YOU ARE CRAZY, ‘DELUDED’ BECAUSE YOU NO LONGER SEE ALL THE LITTLE TRICKS YOUR ‘FAKE CHARACTER’ USES TO ‘CONTROL YOUR LIFE’.

YOU ACCEPT THIS HAPPILY AS ALONG AS YOUR FAKE CHARACTER CONTINUES TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD IN THE MOMENT, SO ‘YOU ARE GOOD’.

SEE TO BE A CHILD IS TO TRADE ‘YOUR REAL SELF-AWARENESS’ FOR EGO SAFETY, IN ORDER TO ‘FEEL BETTER’, TO FEEL LESS ANXIOUS ‘NOW’.

AND BY ‘BEING ALLOWED’ TO ‘ALWAYS CHOOSE EGO SAFETY’ AS A CHILD YOU ‘TEACH YOURSELF’ YOUR ‘FAKE CHARACTER OF REACTIONS’.

SO NOW THERE IS NO CHOICE PRESENTED TO YOU MENTALLY, THESE ‘REACTIONS FEEL INSTINCTIVE’, BUT THEY ARE ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’.

SEE YOUR ‘FAKE CHARACTER’, AS A RATIONALE, AS ‘CONSIDERED DECISIONS’, DOES NOT EXIST, SO YOU ARE ‘TOTALLY FAKE’.

AND THE GREATER THE ANXIETY ‘YOU SUFFERED IN CHILDHOOD’ WAS ‘THEN’, THE BIGGER FAKE YOU WILL BE ‘NOW’…

AT WORST YOU WILL START TO ‘BLACK OUT’ BIG CHUNCKS OF YOUR LIFE, OFTEN EVENTS THAT WOULD OTHERWISE BE SO ‘OUT’ OF WHAT ‘YOU THINK IS YOUR CHARACTER’, THAT SIMPLY DON’T MATCH WHO ‘YOU THINK YOU ARE’, AND THAT IS HOW YOU START TO KNOW JUST HOW BAD THIS FOR YOU – AT THE EXTREMES YOU WON’T EVEN REMEMBER THAT YOU DON’T REMEMBER, BECAUSE IT WAS SIMPLY TO HARD FOR YOU TO FACE UP TO, BUT AT THE TIME YOUR FAKE CHARACTER MADE YOU WANT TO DO THIS SHIT SO BADLY YOU SIMPLY COULD NOT STOP YOURSELF, AND YOU LOVED IT, ‘AT THE TIME’…

SEE ALL CHILDREN REACH A TIME IN THIER LIFE WHEN IT BECOMES PATENTLY OBVIOUS THAT NONE OF THIS CHILDISH CRAP WORKS – ‘MOMENTARY REPRESSION’ OF ANXIETY  MAKES YOU EVEN MORE ANXIOUS AS A BASELINE OVERTIME – BUT BY THEN YOU TEND TO BE SO FAR GONE, SO WEAK AND GUTLESS IN TERMS OF YOUR MENTAL ENERGY LEVELS THAT THERE IS FUCK ALL YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT EVEN IF SOMEONE SHOWS YOU HOW. BEING A CHILD IN LATER LIFE IS A TRAP, A TRAP LINED WITH EMOTIONAL COMFORT, BUT THAT ‘FELT COMFORT’ ONLY EXISTS IN THE MOMENT AS A WAY TO GET YOU TO ‘CHASE RELIEF FROM ANXIETY’ – THE ACTIVITY YOU USE TO ACHIEVE THAT DOES NOT WORK ‘AFTERWARDS’, SO CREATES MORE ANXIETY…

UNDERSTAND THIS VERY SIMPLY – WHEN HUNGRY YOU CAN PLAY A COMPUTER GAME TO DISTRACT YOURSELF FROM HUNGER SO YOU DON’T FEEL IT AT ALL, OR YOU CAN FAKE SATIFYING THAT HUNGER BY SAY DRINKING A GLASS OF WATER, WHICH WILL LESSEN YOUR HUNGER FOR TIME, BUT THE MORE THE EFFECT OF THOSE HOLDING ACTIONS PASSESS, LESSENS THE MORE YOU WILL FIND YOU ARE EVEN MORE HUNGRY THAN AT THE START. THE KEY IS TO UNDERSTAND THAT ONCE YOU ARE HUNGRY YOU HAVE TO SATISFY THAT HUNGER – YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT – OR IT DOES NOT GO AWAY, EVER…

THIS IS HOW ANXIETY WORKS, ALL THE ANXIETIES YOU HAVE EVER SUFFERED REMAIN PART OF YOU UNTIL THEY ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT, OR THAT YOU SATISFY THEM AS EITHER ‘KILL OR CURE’. AVOIDING OR RELEIVING YOUR ANXIETY WITH DISTRACTION SIMPLY MAKES THEM WORSE – IT MAKES YOU MORE ANXIOUS IN ‘A REPRESSED FASHION’, UNDERNEATH THE SURFACE, WHILST BUBBLING UP STRONGLY WHENEVER YOU CAN NO LONGER COMFORT YOURSELF ENOUGH, WHICH OF COURSE NEEDS MORE AND MORE COMFORT OVER TIME, AS YOU NEED STRONGER, WILDER AND MORE CONSTANT DISTRACTIONS TO WORK AGAINST GREATER ANXIETY – SO COMFORTING YOURSELF AGAINST ANXIETY ACTUALLY WORKS AS ‘A FORM OF SELF HARM’…    

SEE YOU DESPERATLY TRYING TO USE YOUR CONDITIONING ‘TO FIX YOUR CONDITIONING’, AND THAT IS WHEN YOUR CONDITIONING WILL TURN ON YOU AND EVERYTHING STARTS TO HURT, YOU GET LOST IN OVER THINKING, YOU GET LOST IN THE TERRIBLE DESPERATION TO HANG ON TO FEELING GOOD IN THE MOMENT, EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW THAT DOES NOT WORK, THAT IT MAKES YOU WORSE LATER, AS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON NOW, YOU HAVE LOST EVEN THE SEMBLANCE OF ‘CONTROL’ – YOUR DELUSION OWNS YOU, AND YOU SIMPLY CANNOT FACE REALITY WITHOUT IT, YOU ARE ‘OUT OF CONTROL’. THEN FEELING GOOD BECOMES JUST ‘FEELING A BIT BETTER’ AGAINST YOUR CONSTANT PAIN, SO EVERYTHING BECOMES ‘URGENT’… 

AND THIS IS PARTICUARLY DANGEROUS FOR ‘THE GIFTED’, FOR THE HIGH SPIRITED AMONGST YOU, CAUSE THEY CAN GO ON FAR, FAR LONGER THAN NORMAL PEOPLE – THEIR INHERENT ‘EMOTIONAL STRENGTH’ ALLOWS THEM TO COPE FAR BETTER THAN ‘THE ANIMALS’, WHICH IS WHY SEVERAL TYPES OF GIFTED HAVE A TENDENCY TO BECOME ‘LOST SOULS’, TO BECOME SO TOTALLY FAKE THAT THEY NO LONGER RECOGNISE ‘WHAT THEY DO’ AS THEM.

INDEED THEY OFTEN BECOME THE EXACT OPPOSITTE OF WHAT THEY ARE NATURALLY, WHAT THEY WERE BORN AS, SO ALL CHANGE WILL FEEL LIKE BEING ‘BORN AGAIN’, NOT IN THE MODERN RELIGIOUS SENSE OF ‘STARTING AGAIN MORALLY’ BUT IN THE SENSE OF HAVING TO DITCH THEIR ENTIRE FAKE CHARACTER. SEE IF YOU GIFTED, IF YOU ARE BLESSED IN SOME WAY, PARTICUALRY IN A MID TO HIGH LEVEL, YOU REALLY NEED TO GROW UP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, SO YOU REALLY NEED TO FACE UP TO ‘WHAT YOU DO’, OTHERWISE ITS GOING TO ‘BITE YOU’, AND MANY OF YOU NEED TO DO THIS ‘RIGHT NOW’…

SO ASK YOURSELF, RIGHT NOW – HOW SECRETLY CLEVER DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW, AND HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED THAT FEELING TO SURVIVE MENTALLY, HOW MUCH DO YOU DEPEND ON IT? 

SO REALIZE HOW MUCH THAT FEELING, THAT SENSE OF CLEVERNESS IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING YOU TRAPPED – IT COULD BE CRUSHED IN A MOMENT SO IT DOES NOT EVEN EXIST, ITS AN ILLUSION? 

SO SEE, FEEL RIGHT NOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU, WHEN ALL YOUR ILLUSIONS OF A CHILD END, BECAUSE NO ONE KEEPS YOUR SECRETS, THEY ALL HATE YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE A CUNT..?

YET YOU CAN’T EVEN FACE THIS TRUTH CAN YOU – HOWEVER OBVIOUS IT IS THAT YOU ARE NOT SECRET, NOT CLEVER, YOU MUST CLING ON TO IT LIKE A CUNT, YOU CAN’T FACE THE EVIDENCE, CAUSE THAT MEANS YOU ARE A STUPID LITTLE KID, LIKE BILLIONS OF OTHERS, AND THAT WOULD KILL YOU.

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS BITCH…. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FRAGILE YOUR ILLUSIONS OF SECRET CLEVERNESS ARE NOW, EH?????

Don’t believe me? Shame, wanna how ANXIETY works? Ok then, so READ THIS OVER AND OVER TO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS ‘YOU’, RIGHT NOW:-

AS A BABY ANXIETY IS A ‘GOD SEND’, AS THE OVERWHLEMING URGENCY TO REACT TO ‘FELT ANXIETY’ IS WHAT KEEPS YOU ALIVE. 

ANXIETY CAUSES YOU TO REACT TO ANXIETY IN ORDER TO REDUCE THAT ANXIETY, OR COMFORT YOURSELF BY DISTRACTION FROM ANXIETY.

THIS MECHANSIM IS ‘INSTINCTIVE’, YOU ARE BORN WITH IT BECAUSE WHEN YOU ARE A CHILD IT HELPS YOU LEARN ‘WITHOUT’ UNDERSTANDING.

SO THIS IS THE FUNDAMENTAL MECHANSIM OF A CHILD, WHY ALL CHILDREN DEVELOP A ‘TEMPORARY’ CHARACTER, A SET OF REACTIONS TO ANXIETY.

BUT THIS TEMPORARY CHARACTER IS A ‘STAND IN’ FOR AN ACTUAL CHARACTER BEFORE YOU DEVELOP ONE AFTER YOU LEARN TO ‘THINK FOR YOURSELF’.

UNTIL THEN THIS ‘FAKE CHARACTER’ OF ‘REACTIONS TO ANXIETY’ IS ALL YOU ARE, UNTIL YOU ‘GROW UP’ BY ‘SURPASSING IT’ – YOU MUST ‘OVER POWER’ IT.

CORRECT THINKING ‘CREATES AN OPINION’ FROM SCRATCH BASED ON ‘RATIONALE’, CHILDISH THINKING SIMPLY JUSTIFIES AN ‘INSTINCTIVE OPINION’.

HOWEVER IF YOU DON’T GROW UP, THIS FAKE CHARACTER ‘SETS HARD’ BY ‘BECOMING UNCONSCIOUS’, ‘INVISIBLE’ TO YOU – SO ‘IT’ OVER POWERS ‘YOU’.

THE ‘SETTING PROCESS’ MEANS YOU NO LONGER FEEL THE ANXIETY TRIGGERING YOUR ‘AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS’ FROM LEARNT PATTERN REACTIONS.

THEREFORE ‘YOU FORGET’ THEY ARE THERE, YOU FORGET WHAT CAUSED THOSE PATTERNS TO FORM, AND SIMPLY ACCEPT THEM AS ‘YOU’.

THIS TENDENCY ‘TO FORGET’ IS THE ULTIMATE DEFINITION OF A CHILD, BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FORGET IN ORDER TO FEEL BETTER.

BUT THOSE FORGOTTEN REACTIONS ARE NOT YOU, THEY ARE ‘LEARNT’, AND CAUSE ‘HAVOC’ WHEN USED BY YOU OUT OF CONTEXT.

YOU ARE NOW STUCK BEING ‘CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY’ AS ‘A CHILD’, SO NOW YOU ARE A SLAVE TO ‘ANY AND ALL ANXIETY’.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT – YOU WERE NEVER ‘SHOCKED OUT OF CHILDHOOD’, YOU WERE ‘PROTECTED’ FROM SHOCKS.

BUT IT IS YOUR PROBLEM – AND IN LATER LIFE ITS A HUGE ONE BECAUSE YOU DON’T BELIEVE ITS THERE. 

SO YOU ARE A MESS OF ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’, LEARNT AND REPEATED LIKE A ‘TIMES TABLE’ EVERYDAY.

YOU HAVE BEEN ‘CONDITIONED BY ANXIETY’ AND THAT CONDITIONING HAS BECOME A ‘FAKE CHARACTER’ CAUSE IT FEELS ‘SAFE’.

SO YOU DON’T WANT TO CHANGE, YOU ARE A ‘HAPPY FUCK UP’, A CLEVER TOXIC MESS, BECAUSE YOU FEEL SAFER THAT WAY.

SO ANYTHING THAT TRIES TO HELP YOU CHANGE IS THEREFORE ‘THE ENEMY’, AND WHY ALL TEACHERS TELL YOU YOUR ENEMY IS YOUR FRIEND, CAUSE YOU ENEMY WILL HELP YOU TO STOP BEING A GUTLESS CUNT, IF YOU RISE TO THAT CHALLENGE.

YOU BELIEVE THOSE FALSE INSTINCTS AS ‘TRUE’ SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ‘OCCUR TO YOU’ IN THE MOMENT, YOU HAVE ‘NO DOUBT’… YOU CLING TO CRAP PATTERN REACTIONS BECAUSE THEY FEEL ‘SAFER’ TO ACT ON, THEY PROTECT YOU FROM FEELING BAD, STUPID, WRONG. BUT YOU FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS SAFETY HAS A PRICE, THAT ACCEPTING ‘DELUSION’ ALSO MEANS THAT IT IS NOW USED AGAINST YOU – WHEN YOU ACCEPT THE EGO SAFETY OF PATTERN REACTIONS AS ‘YOU’ THOSE REACTIONS EXPAND THEIR ‘REACH’ AND GET USED IN SCENARIOS THEY WERE NEVER MEANT FOR BY ‘YOU THE CHILD’, SO YOU START TO MAKE MISTAKES, AND YOU STACK YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON TOP OF THESE MISTAKES AS A CHILD… 

YES, THIS STATE OF ANXIETY MEANS YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ‘A BROKEN ROBOT’, AND THE HIDDEN, OUT OF DATE, AND NOW DANGEROUS ‘AI’ OF THAT ROBOT WANTS YOU TO STAY AN ‘UNHAPPY LITTLE KID, FOREVER’, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW IT HELPED YOU COPE WITH ANXIETY IN CHILDHOOD, BUT NOW YOU ARE STUCK THERE, STUCK NOT KNOWING WHAT YOUR HIDDEN CHARACTER IS REALLY DOING, AS YOU DON’T FEEL THE REAL REASON ‘WHY’ YOU WANT TO DO THE THINGS YOU SEEM ‘COMPELLED TO DO IN ORDER TO FEEL A BIT BETTER IN THE MOMENT’, WHILST LETTING THEM FUCK UP YOUR LIFE…

AND HERE LIES THE GREAT UNSPOKEN TRICK TO THIS GROWING UP STUFF AND MUCH ELSE – REMEMBER ALL THIS AND STILL BE HAPPY.

SEE YOU THE CHILD LIVES ON ANXIETY, GENERATES ANXIETY, CONTROLS YOU VIA COMFORT FROM ANXIETY, INDEED IT IS ‘ANXIETY ITSELF’, SO THE MORE ANXIOUS YOU GET ABOUT CHANGING THE ‘WORSE YOU GET’, THE MORE ‘SELF DESTRUCTIVE’, THE MORE WHAT YOU WANT DISAPPEARS FROM VIEW AND THE MORE WHAT YOU DON’T WANT SEEMS INESCAPABLE, A TRAP, A PRISON, A HOLE YOU CAN NEVER CLIMB OUT OF, BECAUSE YOU HAVE LOST – IT IS OVER.

EVERYTHING THE PROCEDES FROM ANXIETY IS STILL ‘YOUR CONDITIONING’, AND THIS CONDITIONING WILL RUIN, SPOIL EVEN THE BEST INTENTIONS, SO EVEN THE MOST DESPERATE DESIRE TO CHANGE WILL FAIL BECAUSE OF THE ANXIETY AT ITS CORE, UNLESS YOU LEARN THAT ALL REAL CHANGE IS ‘LED TOWARD’ SOMETHING ‘BETTER THAN’, EXCITING, POWERFUL, MAGICAL, IN ORDER TO BREAK YOU CONDITIONING TO ANXIETY.

SO JOB 1, BEFORE YOU EVEN START TO CHANGE, IS RECOGNISE YOUR CONDITIONING IS YOUR ANXIETY AND STOP CHASING IT VIA MORE ANXIETY OR COMFORTING YOUR ANXIETY, AND ADOPT THE INFAMOUS ATTITUDE OF ALL 4TH WAYERS, THE CLASSIC RUTHLESS, CALLOUS, UNCARING ATTITUDE, THE DARK HUMOUR, THE FUN OF THE CHALLENGE, THE ADVENTURE AND SIMPLY MOVE ON FROM ANXIETY WHENEVER IT OCCURS IN ORDER TO PROTECT YOURSELF BY NOT GIVING A FUCK, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WORTH GIVING A FUCK ABOUT IN THE LIFE OF CHILD – ITS ALL AN ILLUSION.

YOU REALLY NEED TO GET THIS – EVERYTHING THAT PROCEDES FROM YOUR CONDITIONING IS WEAKNESS IN THE FACE OF ANXIETY, AND EVERYONE CAN SEE IT AND EVERYONE IS ‘NATURALLY REPELLED’ BY IT, SO NO MATTER HOW WELL YOU TRY AND HIDE IT OR REPRESS IT YOU BECOMES EVEN MORE NERVOUS, EVEN MORE SWEATY AND 2 FACED, DESPERATE TO PLEASE, TO FIT IN, TO HIDE OR RUN AWAY, SO EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ARE JUST A TRAGIC MESS, YOU HAVE ‘NO POWER AGAINST YOURSELF’, NO CLASS, NO CONFIDENCE, NO GAME, NO STYLE, IT ALL RATHER SICKENING TO BE AROUND… 

SO BURN THIS ONTO YOUR MIND – THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN ‘START’ TO ‘GROW UP’ IN LATER LIFE IS TO FIRST SEE, AND THEN ‘BREAK YOUR CONDITIONING’, AND YOU CAN ONLY DO THAT IN THE MOMENT IF YOU REMAIN VERY CALM, WHEN YOU THE CHILD WANTS YOU TO ACT VIA EMOTION, SO YOU MUST UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU CONDITIONING IS IN REALITY, IN THE MOMENT, FOR YOU.

AGAIN – UNTIL YOU BREAK YOUR CONDITIONING ‘YOU ARE YOUR ANXIETIES’, NO MATTER WHAT ‘YOU THINK’ – WHAT EVER YOU CURRENTLY DO IN A STATE OF ANXIETY OR ANY SHORT TERM TEMPORARY EMOTIONAL URGE IS ‘NOT YOU’, AND IF YOU CONTINUE TO PANDER TO THIS CONDITIONING YOU WILL SIMPLY GO ROUND AND ROUND IN EVER DECRESING CIRCLES. 

INDEED, THE CYCLE OF TRYING TO CHANGE ‘YOUR WAY’ AND FAILING OVER AND OVER WILL MAKE YOU MUCH WORSE, AS YOU WILL OSCILLATE BETWEEN A TRAINWRECK AND A MANIC DESPRESIVE, GOING SLIGHTLY MAD IN THE PROCESS, UNLESS YOU LEARN TO STOP GIVING A FUCK AND START TAKING YOURSELF LIGHTLY – THIS CYCLE IS HOW THE CLASSIC ‘LOST SOUL’ TYPE IS CREATED, HOW THEY BECOME ‘TOTALLY DELUSIONAL’ NEEDING SOME FORM OF ‘CONSTANT MEDICATION’ JUST TO FUNCTION, BECAUSE THERE CONDITIONING HAS ‘BROKEN THEM’.

OR WHY NOT AVOID THE STEREOTYPICAL, CLASSLESS EXISTENCE OF ONE MORE ‘CHAINSTORE WHORE’ AMONGST BILLIONS OF OTHERS, PUT SOME EFFORT INTO UNDERSTANDING YOUR CONDITIONING INSTEAD BEFORE YOU GO INSANE, SEE HOW IT HAS MADE YOU ‘A WEAK DEPENDENT MESS’ SO YOU UNDERSTAND ‘GROWING UP IS NOT BORING’, GROWING UP IS ‘REQUIRED BY YOU’, AS THIS SIMPLE REALIZATION NEEDS TO HIT :-

SO LET ‘THIS HORROR’ HURT YOU, HARD AND FAST – YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO YOURSELF, THE QUALITY YOU WERE BORN WITH, AND IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB AS FUCK AND EVERYBODY YOU KNOW THINKS THIS – YOU DON’T SEE YOUR CONDITIONING, YOU THINK YOU ARE ‘SECRETLY CLEVER’, BUT THEY THINK YOU ARE A TRAGIC CUNT.

AND THEY ARE RIGHT…

SO NEXT TIME YOU HAVE THE OVERWHELMING DESIRE TO BELITTLE AND LAUGH AT SOMETHING ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU IN SECRET, KNOW THAT ‘YOU THE CHILD’  IS ACTUALLY LAUGHING AT THE DESEPERATE LITTLE FREAK THAT IS YOU, AND ITS SO TOE CURLINGLY BAD THAT EVEN YOUR BEST FRIEND CAN’T BRING THEMSELVES TO TELL YA…

THEN YOU MAY ACTUALLY BE ABLE ‘TO START’, SO MAINLINE THAT EMBARRASSMENT AND READ ON – CAN YOU PASS THIS SIMPLE TEST: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU ‘FOR YOURSELF’, WHY NOBODY WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT YOU REALLY LIKE TAKES ANY ‘PUBLIC PRIDE’ IN BEING ASSOCIATED WITH YOU, THAT YOU HAVE ‘NO VALUE’ IN YOUR ‘NAME’, WHICH IS YOUR REPUTATION, THAT YOU ARE A FAKE WHO TALKS SHIT, SO ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE BASED ON ‘YOUR UTILITY’ IN SECRET – WHAT ‘YOU DO FOR THEM’ – YOUR LIFE IS A TRANSACTIONAL SHITSHOW…? 

YES, I KNOW, BUT CAN ‘YOU’ FACE THAT YET OR DO YOU STILL NEED TO HIDE FROM IT..?…

HOPE SO ANYWAY, CAUSE THEN YOU ARE READY MENTALLY TO DEAL WITH YOUR CONDITIONING, TO FIX EVERYTHING ‘YOU HAVE LOST’, OTHERWISE IT’S KINDA POINTLESS TO READ ON, CAUSE ‘YOU STILL KNOW BETTER’ THAN US, DON’T YA, AS YOU CLEARLY A FUCKING GENIUS, EVERYONE YOU KNOW ‘HAS YOUR BACK’, NOBODY YOU KNOW HAS GIVEN YOU UP FOR  CHEAP THRILL, NO, YOU HAVE STYLE, PRESENCE, CHARISMA, YOUR SECRETS REMAIN SECRET, AND ALL LOVE YOU FOR YOURSELF… OR MAYBE NOT…

SEE IF YOU STILL THINK THAT READING ON WILL SIMPLY MAKE YOU MORE ANXIOUS AND UNHAPPY, SO YOUR CONDITIONING WILL MAKE YOU WORSE AND WORSE, OVER REACTING AND TALKING EVEN MORE GUTLESS TRASH THAN BEFORE, SO FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, STOP NOW AND GO HIDE THEN COMFORT YOURSELF WITH YOUR FAVOURITE FORM OF DESPERATE HUMILIATION, WHAT FOLLOWS IS ONLY FOR THE FOLKS WITH THE BALLS FOR IT…

Ready now? – so LETS EXPLAIN THIS SO EVEN A CHILD CAN UNDERSTAND IT :- 

Understand FIRST – FAR worse than ANXIETY ITSELF is that Constant Anxiety has ‘SEASONED’ you, turned you into a Conditioned Slave that is constantly degraded by your FORCED, URGENT, OVERWHELMING BUT YET TOTALLY UN-NATURAL pattern responses to Anxiety, so now you ‘stand for nothing’, so you ‘FALL FOR ANYTHING’, like some emerging little starlet at one of Diddys parties, desperate to impress, to get ahead, to belong to the cool kids, WHILST HAVING NO CLUE WHAT IS HAPPENING – YOU ARE CANNON FODDER, MEAT IN A GRINDER, A FREAK IN A ZOO USED TO GIVE THE GUTLESS CUNTS OF THIS WORLD THE THRILL OF ‘HUMILIATING’ YOU, AS YOUR NATURAL ‘BETTER THAN’ MAKES ‘THE ANIMALS’ FEEL ‘BAD’, SO THEY MUST DEGRADE YOU TO FEEL BETTER…

So now everything CONTROLS YOU ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY’, and you have been CONDITIONED TO WANT THAT AS IT COMFORTS YOU, you DON’T SEE IT, RARELY EVEN FEEL IT, BUT YOUR TEMPORARY, FAKE CHARACTER ONLY WORKS THIS WAY – IT IS ‘A STATE OF MIND’. You even ‘pick up’ parts of other people just by being around them via this anxiety trigger, so you become them, copy them, their shitty little patterns, SO YOU BECOME WHAT YOU ONCE HATED, you become your abusers, and you think that is GOOD, you even think you have YOUR OWN GOALS, their PETTY PLEASURES are NOW YOUR GOALS, because you are LESS Anxious when you ‘go along to get along’, when you ‘PLEASE’…

Yet you are totally oblivious to the fact that YOUR LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS, HELL EVEN WILD ANIMALS EXIST AT A HIGHER LEVEL THAN YOU, because they have to ‘face their fears’ and grow up TO SURVIVE – THEY HAVE TO ‘BE BRAVE AND GO AGAINST THEMSELVES’ JUST TO EAT! You think to be the way YOU are in the same way EVERYONE is, that YOU are NORMAL, because you have NO CLASS SYSTEMS anymore, nothing to ‘aspire to’, so your goal, YOUR ONLY REAL GOAL every moment that passes, every tiktok of the countdown clock of your life, is COMFORT FROM ANXIETY ‘NOW’, and that ‘infects’ everything…

See, all adults ‘grasp’ what MATURITY ‘MEANS’, even before they became adults, so they know that day to day, moment to moment MATURITY is about THE GROWTH THAT IS ESSENTIAL TO ‘LIVE, DRIVE AND SURVIVE’, and WHAT THAT GROWTH REALLY ‘NEEDS’ – THE NEED TO CONTROL YOURSELF AGAINST FEAR FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF ‘YOU’ TOMORROW, because you are A BABY IN A WORLD YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, YOU ARE NOT A FINISHED PRODUCT, YOU ARE A FUCKING MESS. Actual animals have the massive benefit, the overwhelming spur of SURVIVAL against ACTUAL DEATH to help them get this pretty fucking FAST as children, cause as soon as their parents stop feeding them they HAVE TO GROW THE FUCK ‘UP’ OR ‘DIE’. Animals can’t choose COMFORT, they cannot chose to RUN AWAY AND ‘LIVE IN FEAR’ rather than FACE THOSE FEARS BY MITIGATING THEM, no, ANIMALS HAVE YO GROW UP AND LEARN TO CONTROL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY NEED WHAT IS ON THE OTHERSIDE OF ‘FEAR’ EVERY FUCKING DAY. 

But YOU DON’T NEED THAT DO YOU, SEE YOU HAVE ‘SOCIETY’, WESTERN CONSUMERISM, so now you can stay a fucking baby all life, well at least until you realize its too late to even try and grow up, WHEN THE YOUTH CULTURE YOU CRAVE IS NO LONGER RELEVANT TO UGLY OLD YOU. See NORMALLY the STRENGTH to do this comes from the abundant ENERGY you have as a HUMAN CHILD, the ENERGY that wants you to GROW, change, improve, DEVELOP, but is is always tempered IN PRACTICE with the repeated ‘EVIDENCE AS KNOWLEDGE’ that all YOUR LITTLE FEARS come from ‘GENERALIZED ANXIETY’, that ‘FELT’ fear is your ‘DEFAULT SETTING’ AS A CHILD, and that once you have pushed passed it you SEE ‘THE TRUTH’ ABOUT YOUR FEARS, AS A ‘VISCERAL REALIZATION’.

Indeed, YOU GET THAT YOUR TENDECY TOWARD FEAR IS ‘FAKE’ – THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ACTUALLY BE AFRAID OF THIS OR THAT SHIT, so your INNER CHILD IS ‘BETRAYING YOU’ BY BEING ‘AUTOMATICALLY GUTLESS’, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A BIG BABY.

Yes, being a CHILD is to be BETRAYED, ALL THE FUCKING TIME, BY UNCONSCIOUS TENDENCIES YOU DON’T WANT OR NEED!

Even worse, YOU DON’T THINK YOU HAVE THEM, THEY ARE BLANKED OUT OF YOUR MEMORY – YOU THINK YOU ACTUALLY ARE A GROWN UP, YOU THINK YOU OPINIONS ARE JUSTIFIED BY FACTS, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE ACTUALLY SILLY LITTLE OUT OF PLACE PATTERN REACTIONS TO ANXIETY!

AND ITS NOT EVEN YOUR FAULT, IS IT – THE FACT THAT YOU CRAVE A LIFE OF ‘MISERABLE EASE’, OF ‘FUNCTIONAL NOTHINGNESS’, THAT ANY QUALITY YOU (ONCE) HAD AS A KID IS NOW TRADED AWAY FOR AN EASIER LIFE, THAT YOUR INHERITED, GIFTED ‘BETTER THAN’ IS USED TO MAKE YOU ‘WORSE THAN’ IS A GOOD DEAL, IT MAKES YOU ‘FEEL HAPPY’ SIMPLY BECAUSE IT LESSENS ‘THE ANXIETY OF A CHILD’, YOUR ‘INBRED MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES’…

SEE NO MATTER HOW MUCH THIS ‘PERVERSION OF YOUR INNOCENCE’ COMFORTS YOU, THAT ‘ITS NOT YOUR FAULT’, THE BRUTAL TRUTH ABOUT LIVING AS A CHILD IS THAT ‘MORE COMFORT’ OF DRUGS DOES NOT FIX IT, IT JUST STOPS YOU THINKING ABOUT IT, WHICH IS WHY THE VERY CHILDISH HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES EARLY IN LIFE, AND WHY WE NOW HAVE AN EPIDEMIC OF SUCH ISSUES IN THE YOUNG.  

SEE IF YOU ARE LUCKY EVEN NOW YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THIS, IF YOUR SPIRIT IS STILL ABLE TO REACH YOU WITH THE ODD REALIZATION – YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK, WHAT YOU JUSTIFY, AS THAT HAPPENS AFTER YOUR TENDECY TO ‘PATTERN REACT’ HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, ‘YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO’, MUCH AS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU DO IT, EVEN WHY YOU WANT TO DO IT FLASHES ACROSS YOUR MIND SO FAST YOU NEVER SEE IT…

THE QUESTION IS CAN YOU ‘FACE IT’ NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH, KNOW THAT YOU ARE ‘TOTALLY FAKE’, THAT AFTER THE HIGH POINT OF ADOLESENCE IT ALL DOWN HILL AS RAPID ONSET AGING DESTROYS YOU, SO MUCH AND SO QUICKLY THAT ‘DELUSIONS OF SECRET POWER’ IS ALL THATS LEFT…

SEE WHAT WE ARE DOING HERE TODAY IS TESTING YOU, TESTING TO SEE WHAT IS LEFT OF THE ‘QUALITY YOU DON’T DESERVE’, YOUR GIFT – WE KNOW THAT QUALITY IS THE MEASURE OF YOUR ‘POTENTIAL TO CHANGE’, WITHOUT WHICH ALL OF THIS IS JUST ‘ACADEMIC’…

SO MAYBE THIS WILL HELP, (PARDON THE FORCED DRAMA) :-

YOU ARE ‘FUCK PUPPET’, A ‘SOCK TOY’ MOUTHING WORDS, THINKING THOUGHTS, FEELING EMOTIONS AS MISS-PLACED AUTOMATIC PATTERN REACTIONS CAUSED BY YOUR UNCONSCIOUS CHILD, BY ALL YOUR COMPLEXES FROM CHILDHOOD, SIMPLY BECAUSE NO ONE EVER EXPLAINED TO YOU THAT ‘THE GREATEST TRICK THE DEVIL EVER PULLED IS TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE HE DOES NOT EXIST’, BUT HE DOES, HE IS THE ENEMY INSIDE YOU…

SEE YOU, ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ THINKS THAT CHILD IS LONG GONE, SO SEES NONE OF THIS, SIMPLY BELIEVING THIS UNCONSCIOUS YOU IS ‘YOUR CHARACTER’, YOUR NATURE, THAT ITS AUTHENTIC SO YOU MUST BE TRUE TO ‘IT’, BECAUSE YOUR FAKE CHARACTER, YOUR EGOIC DEFENSIVE PATTERNS ONLY HAVE ONE REAL JOB, WHICH YOU TAUGHT IT – TO PROTECT YOU FROM ANXIETY, WHICH IS WHY YOU STILL LOVE IT, EVEN AFTER READING ALL THIS…

SO TRY YOUR VERY BEST TO SEE IT :-

LET THE REALIZATION HIT YOU THAT ‘YOU KNOW NOT WHY YOU DO WHAT YOU DO’, SO YOU ARE FAKE, YOU OWN WORST ENEMY – YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING TO START WITH, WHAT YOU ‘THINK’ IS YOU IS FAKE, IT IS ‘NOT TRUE’, SIMPLY AN ACCEPTABLE, MOMENTARY JUSTIFICATION FOR A NASTY, WEAK CHILDISH PATTERN THAT YOU HAVE LONG SINCE FORGOTTEN IS THERE, CONTROLLING YOU.

YOU ARE SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TO WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE, SOMETHING YOU NO LONGER SEE OR EVEN REMEMBER… YOUR ‘EGO OF A CHILD’, YOUR GREATEST ‘SELF CREATED’ ALLY, YOUR ‘IMAGINARY BEST FRIEND’ IS YOUR GREATEST ENEMY, BECAUSE IT WANTS TO KEEP YOU AS A CHILD – NO CHILD EVER WANTS TO GROW UP YOU FOOL, ALL CHILDREN SIMPLY WANT MORE OF THE SAME COMFORT OF CHILDHOOD, IT IS ALL THEY ‘KNOW’..

AND HOWEVER MUCH YOU ARE FAKE WITH ‘THE BEST INTENTIONS’, HOWEVER ‘UNKNOWINGLY FAKE’ IT DOES NOT MATTER, INDEED THE PERCEPTION THAT YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN, THAT YOU ‘TRY AND BE GOOD’ IS THE WORST TRAP OF ALL – YOU WILL ALWAYS FAIL, BECAUSE YOU WIL ALWAYS REVERT TO TRUSTING YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS IN THE MOMENT AS GOOD, INSTEAD TRUSTING THIS EXTERNAL GUIDANCE, THIS CLASS SYSTEM…

SEE THE REASON FOLKS LIKE ME BANG ON ABOUT THIS IS SIMPLE – YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION, SO WE HAVE TO SHOW YOU THE WISDOM OF FREUD, JUNG AND THE NOW MANY MILLIONS OF HOURS OF RESEARCH FROM MANY THOUSANDS OF OTHERS IN ORDER TO PROVE THAT YOU CANNOT TRUST THE EGO OF A CHILD, THE IMPULSIVE REACTIONS OF A CHILD, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T SEE IT ‘WORKING’.

OUR GOAL IS SIMPLE – YOU MUST TRUST US MORE THAN YOU TRUST YOUR SELF, BY SEEING THAT YOU CAN’T TRUST YOURSELF AT ALL, SO WHEN YOU NEED THE DESIRE TO GO AGAINST YOURSELF IT WILL COME MUCH EASIER ‘IN THE MOMENT’ THAN IT WOULD IF YOU STILL THOUGHT THAT YOU KNEW BETTER, CAUSE YOU DON’T – YOU ARE A CHILD, SO YOU ARE COMPLETELY FAKE, YOU LIE TO YOURSELF PRINCIPALLY BECAUSE IT IS WAY EASIER THAN THINKING, THAN JUDGING YOURSELF…

THIS IS THE GREATEST GIFT THAT WE OR ANYONE ELSE CAN GIVE YOU – THE BEGINNING OF ‘SELF CONSCIOUSNESS’, HENCE WHY WE ARE PREPARED TO MAKE THIS LEVEL OF EFFORT TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE THIS COUNTER INTUITIVE JUMP, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT, AND SADLY MOST OF YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO, INDEED, ONLY THE GIFTED AMONGST HAVE ANY REAL CHANCE AT ALL AFTER 30 Y/O, SORRY..

SEE WE HAVE JUST GIFTED YOU ‘THE MUSCLE OF CHOICE’, AND BY THAT I MEAN THE ABILITY TO STOP YOURSELF ‘IN’, AND LATER ‘BEFORE’, THE MOMENT OF IMPULSIVE ACTION, PARTICUARLY WHERE THERE IS NO NEED TO REACT ‘URGENTLY’ AS YOU FEEL ‘SO COMPELLED’ TO DO, INSTEAD OF ALWAYS GOING WITH WHAT YOU HAVE DONE BEFORE, BECAUSE THIS MUSCLE REQUIRES YOU TO ‘REJECT IN THAT SAME MOMENT OF DECISION WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO’, AND WORK UP A DECISION FROM SCRATCH, FRESH, TO SUIT YOU ACTUAL CIRCUMSTANCES, CONTEXT AND GOALS NOW, NOT WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD. 

THE ISSUE, AS YOU WILL FIND ONCE YOU START TO PRACTISE THIS EVEN IN SMALL THINGS, AS THAT TAKES A HUGE AMOUNT OF FREE ENERGY, AND MOST CHILDISH ADULTS HAVE LONG SINCE PISSED AWAY THE ENERGY OF YOUTH ON NOTHING, ON ANXIETY AND COMFORT, SO THEIR ENERGY SYSTEM HAS ROTTED AWAY, ATROPHIED, SHRUNK, BROKEN, SO THEY ARE FAT, UGLY, STUPID, AND EVEN IF THEY PUSH THEY CAN ONLY DO IT ONCE A WEEK, MONTH EVEN, WITH MOST ANIMALS GIVING UP AFTER A FEW DAYS AND CALLING IT IMPOSSIBLE, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM…

BUT THE GIFTED, WITH WHATEVER IS LEFT OF THE ‘ENERGY OF THIER SPIRIT’, THEIR ‘INHERITANCE’, THIER BIRTHRIGHT, WILL USUALLY FIND THAT IF THEY ARE PREPARED TO PUSH THEMSELVES, EVEN JUST TO FOCUS ON TRYING AGAIN AND AGAIN AFTER REPEATED FAILURES TO CATCH THAT MOMENT OF DECISION, THAT THIER ENERGY IS STILL THERE, AND EVEN THE BIGGEST LOST SOUL, THE MOST VAIN LITTLE FUCK UP, CAN STILL GET A GRIP ON THIER FAKENESS, BEFORE IT OVERWHELMS THEM WITH THE FAMILIAR COMFORT OF YET ANOTHER PREHISTORIC, SELF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERN REACTION…

QUESTION IS – CAN YOU, BITCH?

WANT TO KNOW HOW TO START SO YOU HAVE A CHANCE? OK – THE MUSCLE IS NOT ONE STEP, IT IS 3, AND AT THE START YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE ENERGY TO FIRST NOTICE YOUR IMPULSIVE REACTION, THEN STOP YOUR IMPULSIVE REACTION, THEN DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. NO, TO GET STARTED YOU FOCUS ONLY ON STEP 2, THE CLASSIC ONE THAT SURVIVES EVEN IN WESTERN RELGION BECAUSE IT IS THE EASIEST ONE TO NOTICE :-

LEARN TO STOP YOURSELF REACTING WHEN YOU FEEL EMOTIONAL AS A NEW SIMPLE PATTERN REACTION YOU REMEMBER TO DO, TO RECOGNIZE YOU FEEL EMOTIONAL AND FOCUS ON WHAT HAPPENS NEXT BY STOPPING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND THEN DO LITERALLY NOTHING BUT ‘MOVE ON’, EVEN WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT, EVEN WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO, EVEN WHEN YOU THINK NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN, STOP IT ANYWAY…

THIS IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO FIX YOU ENERGY SYSTEM BECAUSE IT IS 3 FIXES IN ONE, IT STOPS YOU WASTING IT, IT HELPS YOU STORE IT AND IT HELPS YOU GENERATE FREE ENERGY IN THE MOMENT, YET IT IS SO SIMPLE ANY FOOL CAN TRAIN THEMSELVES TO DO IT. THEN, LATER YOU MAY JUST HAVE ENOUGH FREE ENERGY TO SEE YOUR FAKE IMPULSES BEFORE YOU HAVE STARTED TO ACT THEM OUT, AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE SOME CONTROL, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO JUDGE WHETHER THE EFFECT OF THAT FAKE IMPULSE AFTER ACTING IT OUT IS VALUABLE TO YOU AFTER THE FACT…

SEE WHAT CONTROL REALLY MEANS IS THAT CONSCIOUS YOU IS PREPARED TO FIGHT YOUR UNCONSCIOUS SELF FOR THE FREE ENERGY CONSCIOUS YOU NEEDS TO CHANGE, BUT ‘IT’ ALSO NEEDS TO KEEP YOU DOING THE SAME DUMB SHIT – MANY PEOPLE WARM TO CHANGE MUCH QUICKER WHEN THEY GET THIS, SPECIFICALLY WHEN THEY GET THAT FOLLOWING THIER PATTERN REACTIONS MAKES THEM DUMBER, SLOWER, WEAKER, AS THE FELT BENEFIT OF NOT FOLLOWING THAT IMPULSE, THE FELT ENERGETIC BOOST AT A CONSCIOUS LEVEL IS ALMOST IMMEDIATE, IF YOU ARE GIFTED…

SEE WE KNOW THAT EVEN YOU KNOW THAT WITHOUT THE ENERGY TO ‘DO’, YOU ARE LITTLE MORE THAN A TALKING VEGETABLE WHO IS TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT, INDEED SO FULL OF SHIT THAT EVEN THE OTHER CHILDREN DON’T BELIEVE A WORD YOU SAY – YOU ARE FAKE, YOUR WORDS DON’T MATCH YOUR ACTIONS, PAST, PRESENT OR FUTURE, WHICH IS WHAT FAKE REALLY MEANS, EVEN IF YOU DON’T SEE IT IN YOURSELF AT THE TIME…

BEATING FAKE YOU BY DRAGGING THE BITCH OUT INTO THE LIGHT OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS THE GOAL OF THIS, AS THEN AND ONLY THEN CAN YOU CHANGE, AND GROW THE FUCK UP, CAUSE IF YOU DON’T, ALL CHANGE IS SIMPLY MORE FAKE YOU PRETENDING TO CHANGE, WHILST GETTING YOU TO DO THE EXACT SAME SHIT, JUST FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, SO NOTHING CHANGES BUT ‘WHY YOU THINK YOU DO IT’ = NO CHANGE.   

Seeing this FAKENESS, this stupidity in yourself is WORTH ITS ‘WEIGHT IN GOLD’, BECAUSE IT WILL START TO FREE YOU FROM ‘GENERALIZED ANXIETY’ BY REINFORCING OVER TIME THE BELIEF THAT YOU CAN ‘FEND FOR YOURSELF’. But if you don’t DO THIS, YOU DON’T PUSH PAST THIS FEAR (OR ‘GET’ PUSHED), and STOP RUNNING ‘TOWARD THE COMFORT OF AVOIDING YOUR FEARS’, OF ‘RELIEF’ FROM FEAR, YOU NEVER ESCAPE THIS TENDENCY TOWARD ANXIETY, INDEED YOU NEVER SEE THAT THERE IS NO REAL PLEASURE OR REAL DESIRE IN YOUR ANIMAL COMFORTS, THAT ‘THE DESIRE FOR A SPECIFIC COMFORT’ NOT ONLY PASSES THE MOMENT YOU HAVE DONE IT, IF NOT BEFORE, BUT WITHOUT ‘THE ANXIETY DRIVING THE NEED FOR RELIEF’, THAT ‘COMFORT’ NEVER ACTUALLY EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE – IT IS CONJOB, A REAL DESIRE DOES NOT PASS, BECUASE A REAL DESIRE IS NOT ‘A RELIEF’ ITS ‘A CHALLENGE’ = YOUR COMFORTS DON’T DO SHIT, THEY ARE ‘A FORM OF SELF HARM’...     

So lets be clear right from the start – ACCEPT NOW THAT IN YOUR CURRENT STATE YOU ARE ‘A TRAGIC MESS’, YOU CAN’T REALLY DO ANYTHING WITHOUT ‘FEAR’ OR ‘FEAR DRIVEN COMFORT’, HELL YOU NEED TO GET ‘ANGRY OUT OF FEAR’ BEFORE YOU CAN DO EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL LEVEL OF CONFRONTATION, AND EVEN THEN YOU ARE QUIETLY BEGGING FOR AWAY ‘TO PLEASE THEM’ AND ‘MAKE IT STOP’, SO YOU CAN GO CRY SOME MORE..

YOU ARE STILL A CHILD BECAUSE YOU NEVER STOPPED BEING A CHILD, YOU NEVER GREW UP – YOU ARE STUCK WITH THE DOMINANT PATTERNS OF A CHILD, PARTICUARLY THE NEED TO PLEASE THOSE AROUND YOU IN ORDER TO GET BY, INSTEAD OF SIMPLY DOING WHATEVER YOU WISH ‘BY YOURSELF’.

SEE YOU NEVER GOT RID OF YOUR NEED FOR AN AUTHORITY OVER YOU AS ANOTHER FORM OF COMFORT, THAT YOUR PARENTAL UNIT ‘HAS YOU BACK’, THAT YOU NEED TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO, TO ‘FIT IN’ AS ‘PART OF A HERD’, YOU CAN NEVER BE AN INDIVIDUAL, BE YOURSELF, YOU ARE JUST TO SCARED… 

SO GROWING UP MEANS BEATING YOUR CHILDISH LEVEL OF ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’ – YOUR ‘OVERWHELMING FEAR OF EVERYTHING’, YOUR NERVOUSNESS, YOUR FEAR OF LIFE ITSELF THAT YOU HAVE NATURALLY AS A CHILD BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING AND CANNOT FEND FOR YOURSELF.

YES YOU MUST CONQUOER YOU NATURAL TENDECY TO ALWAYS BE AFRAID, NERVOUS, ANXIOUS, SO YOU MUST CRUSH FEAR IN YOURSELF, WHICH MEANS TO STOP ‘BEING AFRAID OF FELT FEAR’, AND SEE FEAR AS A FORM OF ENERGY AND COMMUNICATION THAT YOU NEED TO BEAT WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF!  

Obvious eh, AND I MEAN REALLY-MOTHER-FUCKING-OBVIOUS, EH?! Ahhh, YOU DON’T ‘AGREE’ DO YOU, NOT BECAUSE IT IS NOT OBVIOUS, BUT BECAUSE YOU NEVER GREW UP, SO ARE STUCK WITH ‘THE EGO OF CHILD’ THAT HAS TO DEFEND ‘NEVER GROWING UP’ AS A GOOD THING, THAT BEING A DEPENDENT PUSSY WHO NOW ‘NEEDS COMFORT’ IS ACCEPTABLE, EVEN THAT YOU ARE IN SOME WAY ‘CLEVER’, RIGHT, GOOD, NORMAL, COOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL, as now a days people don’t NEED TO ‘GROW UP’, NOWADAYS FOLKS DEMAND TO BE PROTECTED EVEN FROM THEMSELVES, so nothing is their fault, so there is no need to grow up, so you didn’t, did you – YOU FAILED THE POINT OF CHILDHOOD, AND CHOSE TO REMAIN A CHILD, YOU TOOL, BECAUSE ITS EASIER TO BE NOTHING, THAN TO ‘BE YOURSELF’. 

And now you are IN TROUBLE, BECAUSE YOU ARE STUCK TRYING TO MAKE A SUCCESS OF ALL THE TEMPORARY PATTERNS AND LEARNT BEHAVIOURS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD, because you ‘THINK THESE PATTERNS ARE YOU’, ‘YOUR CHARACTER’, YOUR NATURE, THAT YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY. But they are not, THEY WERE A TRANSISTION TO HELP YOU GROW UP, JUST PLACEHOLDERS UNTIL YOU GOT BETTER, and in NO WAY ANYTHING TO DO WITH A ‘CHARACTER’ – YOU ARE STUCK WITH A CHARACTER OF ‘NO CHARACTER’, AN EVER CHANGING UNCONSCIOUS MESS OF CONTRADICTIONS. Hell what you have been left is NOT EVEN ‘A FUNCTIONING SELF’, it is a mess of isolated, unconscious ‘routines’, a half finished, badly thought out COLLECTION of different ‘SELVES’, ‘of different personalities’, COMBINED WITH A DOWNRIGHT ‘WRONG VIEW’ OF THE WORLD AND YOU PLACE IN IT. SEE YOU NEVER DECIDED WHAT YOU ‘WANT’, WHAT YOU ‘ARE’, WHAT YOU ‘ARE’ HAPPENED TO YOU BY ACCIDENT, STUPIDITY, COWARDICE, PARENTAL NEGLECT = ‘A FUCK UP’.  

YES, somewhere a long the line you failed growing up 101, and adopted the attitude of always RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR FEARS, YOUR ANXIETY AND RUNNING TOWARD COMFORT, SO IT BECAME AN ATTITUDE OF MIND, SO FIRST YOUR FEARS AND THEN ‘FEAR ITSELF AS A FEELING’ JUST GREW AND GREW IN YOU, AND NOW EVERYTHING IS ‘THE DARK’, everything is BIGGER THAN YOU, EVERYTHING OVERWHELMS YOU, BUT NOT BECAUSE IT IS BIGGER, BUT BECAUSE YOU GOT SMALLER, weaker, dumber, and MORE DEPENDENT, SO NOW YOU ARE A VICTIM AS WELL, as you need that COMFORT OF ITS ‘NOT MY FAULT’ TO COPE AT ALL WITH YOUR NASTY SHIT, don’t ya, otherwise even you would see you are a NASTY, unstable, gutless, 2 faced piece of shit, that everyone hates…   

AT A CHILDISH ‘LEVEL’ YOUR EXPEREINCE OF LIFE IS THE SAME AS A BUG, AND A BORING ONE AT THAT…

UNDERSTAND NOW – THERE IS A HIGHER LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS NATURALLY AVAILABLE TO ALL HUMANS THAN THAT OF A SCARED LITTLE CHILD, AND IF YOU HAD BEEN FORCED TO FACE YOUR FEARS, OR SURVIVE NEAR DEATH IN ANY OF ITS MANY FORMS AS A CHILD THEN YOU WOULD NOT BE STUCK NOW WITH THE ‘LEVEL’ OF LIFE EXPERIENCE OF AN INSECT, THE LEVEL YOU SHOULD OF SURPASSED BY 14/15 Y/O.

BUT YOU, POOR LITTLE OLD YOU, ARE STUCK RELIVING PUBERTY FOR EVER, RELIVING ‘TRIAL AND ERROR’ DAY AFTER DAY, STUCK THINKING LIFE IS LIKE HIGH SCHOOL – A BEAUTY CONTEST – WHEN LIFE IS ACTUALLY LIKE COLLEGE – A MERITOCRACY – YET YOU DON’T SEE THAT, CAUSE YOU AIN’T GOT THE BALLS FOR IT, DO YA, YOU ARE SO FUCKING TERRIFIED YOU NEED TO FIT IT AT ALL COSTS, YOU DON’T EVEN WANT YOUR ‘OWN GANG’, YOU NEED TO BE PROTECTED BY SOMEONE ELSES, CAUSE YOU ARE A PUSSY…  

SEE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND CONFIDENCE SHOULD HAVE ‘GROWN UPWARDS’ BECAUSE IT WAS FORCED TO GROW BY ‘SUFFERING CIRCUMSTANCE’ YET STILL MANAGING TO PASS THOSE TESTS IN THAT CIRCUMSTANCE, AND BECOME MUCH ‘BIGGER’ CONSCIOUSLY IN THE PROCESS! THIS IS THE NATURAL WAY, THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE – ITS CALLED EVOLUTION, LOOK IT UP IF YOU HAVE NOT HEARD OF IT, AS ITS THE ONLY LAW THAT MATTERS WHEN YOU ARE STILL AN ANIMAL, IT IS THE DRIVING FORCE BEHIND ALL ‘CHANGE’… 

SO ‘WHAT THE FUCK DOES ALL THAT MEAN’, YOU WHISPER FROM THE BACK OF THE CLASS LIKE ONE MORE LAZY ASS BITCH…

YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE IS DOMINATED BY YOUR ‘EXPEREINCE OF THOUGHT’, 

YOUR EXPEREINCE OF LIFE IS NOT ‘THOUGHT ITSELF’, IT IS YOUR ‘HEADSPACE’, THE SIZE OF YOUR MIND, YOUR ‘SPACE TO THINK’,

HOW THOUGHTS/FEELINGS SEEM TO YOU IS A FACTOR OF THE SIZE OF YOUR MIND IN COMPARISON TO THE SIZE OF YOUR THOUGHTS,

THAT SIZE IS NEEDED BOTH TO SEE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS TOGETHER, AND THE ‘CONTEXT OF THOSE THOUGHTS’ AT THE SAME TIME YOU THINK,

SO YOUR EXPEREINCE OF LIFE IS DOMINATED BY THE SIZE OR ‘YOUR LEVEL OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS’, THE SIZE OF CONTEXT YOU ARE ABLE TO HOLD,

YOUR ‘LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS’ MEANS YOUR ‘LEVEL OF AWARENESS’, WHAT YOU ARE ‘CAPABLE OF SENSING’ SO THAT YOU RECOGNIZE IT IN THE NOW.

AT A LOW LEVEL THAT AWARENESS IS DOMINATED BY ONE SINGLE THING AT A TIME, ONE REACTIONARY THOUGHT, THAT CYCLES OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

SO AS A CHILD YOU ARE LITTLE BETTER THAN A GOLDFISH WHO ONLY KNOWS ‘NOW’, BUT THOSE CONTINUAL NOWS’ FOOL YOU INTO BELIEVING THEM AS YOU HAVE NO CONTEXT HELD IN YOUR MIND TO JUDGE AGAINST IN THAT MOMENT, SO YOU DON’T SEE THAT THOUGHT IS A HALF REMEMBERED PATTERN REACTION FROM CHILDHOOD WHICH IS NOW NOT ONLY STUPID, WRONG, OUT OF PLACE, ITS FUCKING DANGEROUS, SO YOU STOP IT.

THE HIGHER UP YOUR BASELINE LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS ‘YOUR’ NORMAL LEVEL IS THE BIGGER YOUR EXPEREINCE OF LIFE, THE BIGGER THE CONTEXT.

BUT AT A CHILDISH LEVEL YOU THINK, FEEL ONLY ‘MOMENTARY NOW’, SO YOU HAVE NO DEPTH OF CHARACTER, NO CONSTANT BASELINE ‘SENSE OF SELF’.

SEE WHEN YOU EXIST AS A CHILD, WITH A CHILDS MOMENTARY EXPEREINCE OF LIFE, YOU HAVE NO CONTEXT, SO ‘FORGET YOURSELF’ ALL THE TIME,

WHAT FORGET YOURSELF MEANS IS THAT YOUR FORGET THE POINT, FORGET WHAT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, FORGET THE CONTEXT OF YOUR LIFE,

AND THAT MEANS AS A CHILD THAT YOU HAVE NO PERMANENT CHARACTER AT ALL, YOU ARE MOMENTARY PATTERN ‘REACTIONS’, YOU ARE FAKE,

SO EVERYTHING THAT YOU EXPEREINCE DOMINATES YOU AS ‘URGENT’, BECAUSE YOU ‘HAVE’ TO REACT TO IT, OTHERWISE YOU CEASE TO EXIST,

YOU ARE ‘THE HERD’, YOU FOLLOW, YOU NEED TO BE TOLD, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ABILITY TO THINK ‘OUTSIDE OF THAT URGENT REACTION’.

YOU HAVE ‘NO LEVEL’ SO ‘NO SPACE TO SEE’ THE CONTEXT, SO YOU HAVE NO LIFE, NO DEPTH, NO MEMORY, NO WILLPOWER, NO POINT.

YOU ARE A SILLY LITTLE THING, WHO CANNOT REMEMBER THE POINT, FOREVER FORGETTING YOUR CONTEXT, THE BIG PICTURE…  

BE CLEAR – YOUR VALUE IS YOUR ‘LIVED LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS’, VIRTUALLY NOTHING ELSE MATTERS – WHEN HIGH ENOUGH YOUR LEVEL CREATES ‘A SELF WHO REMEMBERS’, A CONTEXT, A BIG PICTURE ‘THAT REMAINS’, AND THE REASON IT REMAINS IS THAT YOUR ‘CONSISTENT SELF’ CREATES ‘BOTTLE’, WHICH MAKES YOU BIGGER AND LIFE SMALLER, IT MAKES YOU FEEL POWERFUL.

BUT RIGHT NOW YOU ARE A TINY BUG ON THE ASS OF YOUR LIFE, SO YOU UNDERPERFORM YOURSELF, SABOTAGE YOURSELF, PREVENT EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD HAVE, EVERYWHERE YOU SHOULD BE, ALL ‘YOUR BIG PICTURE’ FROM HAPPENING BECAUSE OF YOUR ‘MOMENTARY INSTABILITY’, THE ADDICTION TO THE MOOD SWINGS OF AN UNHAPPPY LITTLE KID, AS ALL THERE IS…

TO BOTHER READING ON FROM THIS POINT I WOULD ASK YOU TO READ THE ABOVE OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU START TO ACCEPT THAT ALL SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT REQUIRES ‘THE NEXT LEVEL’ ABOVE CHILDHOOD, FOR YOU TO HAVE GOT PAST YOUR CHILDHOOD ‘SELF OBSESSION’, THAT YOUR INANE, CHILDLIKE LEVEL OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, OF YOUR RIDICOLOUS OPINIONS AND FETISHES MATTER AT ALL TO ANYONE, EVEN ‘TO YOU’, SO YOU CAN ‘STOP TAKING YOURSELF – WHAT IT WANTS NOW – SERIOUSLY’ AND LAUGH THOSE THOUGHTS OFF AS THE OBVIOUS BOLLOCKS THEY ARE.

YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR MIND, MUST ACCEPT CONCEPTUALLY RIGHT NOW THAT ADULTS SEE THEMSELVES IN REAL TIME IN THE 3RD PERSON, AS YOUR THOUGHTS OCCUR TO YOU LIKE ‘A REFLECTION’ SEEN FROM ‘NOT THOSE THOUGHTS’, SO YOU SEE THOUGHTS SEPARATELY, AS THE MEER OPINIONS OF A CHILD BEFORE YOU ACT ON THEM AND LEARN TO STOP YOURSELF TO GO ON READING THIS, EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW YOU CAN’T…

SO GET NOW, THAT THE GOAL OF THIS PROCESS IS TO SEE YOURSELF IN THE 3RD PERSON, LIKE YOU SEE YOUR ‘FACE REFLECTED IN A MIRROR’, BUT THIS REFLECTION MUST EXPAND TO INCLUDE YOUR THOUGHTS/FEELINGS/INSTINCTS, SO RIGHT NOW YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT OUT HUGE EFFORT, YOU EXPEREINCE YOURSELF IN THE 1ST PERSON ONLY, LIKE AN ANIMAL, SO EVERYTHING IS FORGOTTEN THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS.

PUT SIMPLY THE TRANSISTION IS TO REFLECT ON WHAT YOU JUST DID, THOUGHT, FELT, HEARD IN THE NEXT THOUGHT AFTER IT JUST HAPPENED, WHICH ANYONE CAN DO WITH EFFORT, BUT THE GOAL IS ‘TO REFLECT ON’ THAT THOUGHT, FEELING, SENSORY INPUT ‘AS IT HAPPENS’, IN REALTIME, SO YOU SEE IT COME, ARRIVE AND GO AGAIN, AS THAT IS WHEN SELF CONSCIOUSNESS BECOMES A STATE OF MIND, WHEN ITS A PERMANENT, NOT A PROCESS.

SO YOU MUST PUT A STAKE IN THE GROUND AND DECIDE ‘YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS ON THE OTHERSIDE OF CHILDHOOD’ – YOU WANT TO ‘GROW UP’, THAT YOUR LIFE AS ‘A CHILD IS OVER’.

OR PLEASE JUST FUCK OFF, RIGHT NOW – YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RELATE TO ‘THE REFLECTION ANALOGY’ UNLESS YOU ‘TRY’…

SEE WITHOUT ‘THE VISCERAL SELF-CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT’ OF STILL BEING, FEELING, THINKING LIKE A NASTY KID, AN OBVIOUS LITTLE CUNT, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A STRONG ENOUGH ‘EMOTIONAL HOOK TO REMEMBER’ TO DO THIS, SO YOU WILL FAIL, CAUSE YOUR KID WILL WEAR YOU DOWN WITH YOUR CURRENT ‘MOMENTARY RELIEF OF FEELING’ – YOU MUST TURN YOUR KID AGAINST ITSELF BY ‘QUIETLY DISSASOCIATING’ FROM ‘IT’. 

THE SIMPLE TRICK IS TO RECOGNIZE YOUR WEAKNESS AND FIX IT, TO CREATE A GAP IN YOUR WALL OF 1ST PERSON THOUGHT – YOUR DRIVING FORCE MUST BE BIG ENOUGH ‘EMOTIONALLY’ TO CRUSH YOUR PETTY CRAP IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION, LIKE A GIFTED ADULT, AND THEN YOU WILL BE ‘US’, AND ‘NOT THEM’, YOU WILL BE ‘SUPERIOR’ SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CAN DO THIS TRICK, AS THEN YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF. 

THIS WAY YOU WILL LEARN WHAT YOUR ‘SELF CONSCIOUSNESS EMBARRASSMENT’, THAT SO MANY OF GIFTED ‘SUFFERED FROM AS CHILDREN’ WAS ACTUALLY FOR, BEFORE YOU RAN AWAY FROM IT AND THEN TRIED TO KILL IT, TRIED TO ‘KILL YOUR OWN SPIRIT’, LIKE A FUCKING MORON – THAT BURNING EMBARRASSMENT, THAT GATEWAY INTO SELF CONSCIOUSNESS WAS YOUR GIFT TRYING TO HELP YOU ‘GROW UP’!

SEE SELF CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT IS A FORM OF DISSASSOCIATION, A SAFE, KIND ONE, THAT ALL GIFTED HAVE A COMMON EXPEREINCE OF IN CHILDHOOD, BUT DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, UNLIKE THE FORCED FORMS THAT COME FROM EMOTIONAL CRISIS OR DRUGS IN LATER LIFE THAT ARE ACTUALLY QUITE DANGEROUS, AS THEY USUALLY LEAD TO SOME FORM OF PARALYSIS, OR EMPTINESS, WHERE YOU ‘GET LOST, STUCK IN NOTHING’.

HOWEVER IF YOU ARE GIFTED WITH SOME BASIC GUIDANCE YOU WILL FIND THIS STATE IS ‘THE ROYAL ROAD BACK TO YOUR REAL SELF’, OR PUT MORE RELATABLY THE ‘ROYAL ROLE’ OF WHATEVER YOUR FLAVOUR OF GIFT MAYBE WILL COME EASILY TO YOU, AND SHOULD YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO PLAY THAT ROLE, STARTING WITH THE GENERIC ROLE OF THE ARISTOCRAT, IT WILL QUICKLY BECOME 1ST NATURE, MUCH AS IT STARTS AS YOUR 2ND.

SADLY IF YOU HAVE NO GIFT TO SPEAK OF, THEN DISSASSOCIATION IS A BAD IDEA, AS THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THERE, NO OTHER YOU TO STEP IN, SO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, YOUR LIFESTYLE ISSUES WILL NOT BE FIXABLE AND YOU WILL REVERT TO THE LOWEST MENTAL STATE OF AN ANIMAL IN THE 1ST PERSON, WHILST REVELLING IN YOUR EXCUSES AND VICTIM COMPLEX BEFORE RAPIDLY TURNING INTO A DISGUSTING PARASITE.

THE REASON I TELL YOU THIS IS SIMPLE – IF YOU STILL HAVE A STRONG MEMORY OF THIS SELF CONSCIOUS EMBARRASMENT FROM CHILDHOOD YOU MUST BE PREPARED TO ‘RELIVE IT’, IT WAS ‘YOUR TEST’ SET BY ‘YOUR SPIRIT’ FOR THE GOOD OF YOUR NATURAL EVOLUTION, AND YOU FAILED. BUT IT HAS NOT GONE AWAY BY AVOIDING IT, SO NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE TURNED YOURSELF INTO SOME DESPERATE TRASH THAT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF ‘YOU THE CULTURED, CONFIDENT ARISTO’, YOU MUST RETURN TO THAT FEELING AND USE IT TO CHANGE, AS THAT WAS ‘THE POINT’… 

MUCH AS THIS IS THE ZEN WAY IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW YOU DO IT – WITHOUT SOME SENSE OF YOURSELF IN THIS WORLD, WITHOUT SOME QUALITY TO ‘KNOW YOU KNOW NOTHING’, SOME ABILITY TO STOP YOURSELF WITHOUT THE USE OF FEAR, YOU WON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE WHAT THE BLOODY WORDS MEAN, LET ALONE HAVE THE DEPTH TO ‘TRY’. YOU LIVE IN A WORLD OF PREFERENCES THAT YOU THINK ARE TRUE, BUT WHICH CAN ONLY EVER BE RIGHT BY CHANCE BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE CONSCIOUS LEVEL OF A FRUIT FLY. YOU DON’T THINK, BUT YOU THINK YOU DO, SO TAKING THAT SHIT SERIOUSLY JUST BUILDS ERROR UPON ERROR INTO YOUR LIFE = A FUCK UP LIVING IN A WORLD OF MOOD SWINGS YOU DON’T EVEN SEE HAPPENING TO YOU.

WITHOUT THIS UNDERSTANDING, YOU WILL REMAIN ONE OF THE HARMLESS LITTLE FUCK UPS WHO SEE DEVELOPMENT AS AN ATTACK ON YOU, BECAUSE IT IS AN ATTACK ON ‘YOU THE CHILD’, BUT YOU CANNOT SEPARATE THEM AS ‘YOU’ AND ‘NOT YOU’, AS YOU ‘SELF-IDENTIFY’ AS ‘YOU THE CHILD’, LIKE BILLIONS OF OTHER INSECTS ON THIS PLANET – YOU HAVE NO CLASS SYSTEM, SO NO CLASS, AT ALL, YOU LIFE IS NO MORE THAN A MOMENTARY ILLUSION OF FAKE FEELING THAT CHANGES CONSTANTLY, SO YOU CHANGE CONSTANTLY TO FOLLOW YOUR REACTIONS, DOING LITTLE MORE THAN PRETEND TO BE GOOD BEFORE SECRETLY HEADING OFF INTO THIS OR THAT LITTLE FANTASY WORLD, THAT YOU COULD NEVER EVER DO FOR REAL…

SO WHATEVER POTENTIAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS YOU WERE ‘GIFTED’ BY YOUR ANCESTORS, NO MATTER HOW SPIRITED YOU APPEAR TO BE, NO MATTER HOW STRANGE THE WAY CERTAIN THINGS AFFECT YOU, NO MATTER HOW MUCH UNWANTED EMOTIONAL OR ARTISTIC DEPTH CURSES YOUR LIFE, NONE OF THAT MATTERS UNTIL YOU LEARN TO USE IT. AT A CHILDISH ‘LEVEL’ YOU CAN HAVE NO PROPER EXPEREINCE OF ‘YOUR GIFT’ EVEN IF IT A MAJOR ONE, BECAUSE YOU WILL CLING ONTO THAT CHILDLIKE STATE AS A GOOD THING VIA EGO SAFETY, SO YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE UNLESS FORCED TO BY EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES – THE USE OF A CLASS SYSTEM THAT YOU MUST ADHERE TO IF YOU ARE ‘TO GROW AGAINST WHAT YOUR CHILD WANTS’, WHICH IS WHAT IT MEANS TO SUFFER WILLINGLY, BECAUSE REAL YOU DOES NOT SUFFER, YOU THE CHILD SUFFERS = NOT YOU.

SEE, YOU CANNOT CHANGE ‘YOUR WAY’, BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD – ‘YOU KNOW NOT THE POINT OF WHAT YOU DO OR WHY YOU DO IT’, YOU ONLY KNOW HOW IT FEELS IN THE MOMENT OF DOING IT, THE COMFORT OF IT… YES, YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY, YOU ARE A CURSE ON YOUR LIFE, YOU MAKE ALL THE SHIT YOU DON’T WANT HAPPEN TO YOU WITH YOUR AUTOMATIC MOMENTARY REACTIONS THAT FEEL SO GOOD, SO SAFE AND NORMAL TO YOU THE CHILD, YET KEEP YOU STUCK AT A LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAT IS LITERALLY NOT WORTH LIVING. THEN LATER ON IN YOUR TIMELINE YOU GET TO WONDER WHY YOUR LIFE IS A TRAIN LOAD OF ROTTEN DOG SHIT YOU DON’T WANT, BUT TELL YOURSELF WELL AT LEAST YOU HAD A BIT OF FUN AS A KID, EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T REALLY REMEMBER ANY OF IT, AND IT WAS NOT EVEN FUN, IT WAS A CHILDS FUN = RELIEF FROM ANXIETY YOU SHOULD NOT ACTUALLY HAVE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!

THE MOST EVIL PART OF IT ALL IS BEING A CHILD IS A PERFECT TRAP, AND IT WILL TRAP YOU ‘BEING A CHILD’ UNTIL YOU ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO CHANGE, NO LONGER ABLE TO RAISE YOUR LEVEL ABOVE THAT OF A USELESS CHILD WHEN YOUR ENERGY GIVES OUT, UNLESS YOU ACCEPT THE EXTERNAL INTERVENTION OF A CLASS SYSTEM AND FORCE THAT ON YOURSELF BY USING IT TO OVERIDE THE WANTS OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’, A CREATURE YOU CREATED THAT LIVES IN YOUR UNCONSCIOUS, THAT YOU HAVE TAUGHT TO ‘HATE YOU’, TO DENY YOU A BIG, POWERFUL, HAPPY LIFE, JUST SO IT CAN BE A BIT MORE ‘COMFY’ FOR A MOMENT. SEE YOU ARE NOT REALLY ‘YOU THE CHILD’, ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS A DRUG PUSHER YOU INVENTED AS A CHILD AND NOW PANDER TO AS AN ADULT IN ORDER TO FEEL A BIT BETTER BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY EXISTS, WHILST YOU ARE ‘YOUR AWARENESS ITSELF’…

See as a CHILD you look up at everything else, have to care ABOUT EVERYTHING, to worry about everything else AROUND YOU, LIKE IT MATTERS, LIKE ITS IMPORTANT, SO YOU HAVE TO REACT TO IT, hell even BUGS SCARE YOU, EVEN when you could easily CRUSH THEM AND BARELY NOTICE poor little you ‘shrinks away’ from them. This is the state of mind of a child, QUIETLY terrified of EVERYTHING, WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF DEATH, OF REAL FEAR, OF WHAT FEAR IS ACTUALLY ‘FOR’, living in a dream world where YOU CANNOT FEND FOR YOURSELF, you cannot cope with anything, so need everything done for you, so all your values are based on the need for PROTECTION AGAINST ‘THE BAD’ THINGS, EVEN WHEN THOSE BAD THINGS ARE ONLY IMAGINED, INSIGNIFICANT, MEANINGLESS, AND ACTUALLY ‘NEED’ TO HAPPEN so YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO COPE AND GROW OUT OF BEING, well… the’ NOTHING’ you have become…

Be clear – THIS STATE OF MIND IS TOTALLY UN-NATURAL FOR AN ADULT HUMAN, SEE THIS WAY YOUR NOT EVEN REALLY ALIVE, BECAUSE YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUS, DRUNK even, LOST IN ‘YOUR SELF CENTRED DELUSION OF THE MOMENT’, AND 4/5TH OF YOUR EXPEREINCE OF LIFE, THE LIFE YOU SHOULD BE LIVING IS DENIED YOU, BECAUSE YOU THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT, THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE ASKED FOR, BY RUNNING AWAY ALL THESE YEARS – ALL YOU WANT IS TO FEEL A TINY BIT BETTER NOW = ‘EGO SAFETY’, see that way you can go on and on being a pointless twat…

UNDERSTAND – YOU ARE BERAYED BY YOUR UNCONSCIOUS SELF, YOUR INNER CHILD, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TAUGHT IT TO BETRAY YOU – YOU HAVE TAUGHT ‘IT’ SINCE CHILDHOOD TO RUN AWAY FROM FEAR AND CHASE COMFORT, SO IT ‘HAS’ TO CHASE THE ANXIETY THAT CREATES THAT COMFORT!

THE NEED FOR COMFORT IS A REACTION TO ANXIETY – UNDERSTAND THIS, SEE IT!

IF YOU WERE NOT ANXIOUS YOU WOULD HAVE NO INTEREST IN COMFORT AT ALL!

SO YOUR COMFORTS DON’T ACTUALLY EXIST, THEY ONLY RELATE TO THE ‘STATE OF ANXIETY’.

IN ORDER TO CREATE SHORT TERM COMFORT YOU MUST CREATE THE FEELING OF ANXIETY!

SO YOUR INNER CHILD UNCONSCIOUSLY WORKS EVERYDAY TO CREATE ANXIETY OUT OF NOTHING! 

YOUR COMFORT AND ANXIETY ARE THE SAME-FUCKING-THING YOU TWAT, ONE BEGETS THE OTHER!

SO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN A VERY SMALL, VERY SHORT TERM CYCLE OF CHILDISH MOOD SWINGS!

THAT IS WHAT A CHILD ‘IS’, THE FAKE FEELING OF THE ANXIETY OF FAKE EXISTENTIAL DREAD, AND ALL THIS BECAUSE YOU NEVER FOUND OUT THAT THE MEANING OF LIFE IS THAT IT ENDS….

YOU ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS BASED ON A NEGATIVE FEEDBACK CYCLE, YET YOU ARE STILL SURPRISED ABOUT BEING A TOTAL FUCK UP, DEEPLY UNHAPPY AND SCARED SHITLESS OF EVERYTHING! You have NO CLASS, YET ALL AROUND YOU THE WORLD VENERATES CLASS, EXCELLENCE, MERIT LIKE NEVER BEFORE, SO MUCH SO THAT ENTIRE INDUSTRIES NOW EXIST TO FAKE THAT CLASS, THAT JOURNEY, SO OTHER DESPERATE, LAZY, STUPID MORONS CAN HERO WORSHIP THAT STORY, CAN ‘ASPIRE TO’ IT WHLST LOST IN THEIR OWN MEDICORITY, SOAKED UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THEIR DRUG OF CHOICE! 

SEE IT – YOUR COMFORTS ARE NOT PLEASURES, NOT POWERFUL, NOT IN ANY WAY USEFUL, they are ‘momentary pressures that you relieve’ THAT ONLY EXIST IN THE CONTEXT OF LOW LEVEL ANXIETY, like hunger for food, NOT DESIRES, yet you dress them up AND MAKE A WHOLE LIFE OUT OF THEM. Without constant anxiety those ‘FAKE DESIRES’ would disappear by themselves, AS YOU WOULD SEE THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE, NASTY LITTLE DISTRACTIONS FROM ANXIETY WITH NO PLEASURE IN THEM WHAT-SO-EVER, BUT YOU GET TO SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE SPINNING AROUND ON THE SAME FUCKING SPOT – YOU CHASE MORE ANXIETY VIA COMFORT AND THEN COMPLAIN ABOUT FEELING EVEN FUCKING WORSE BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO UNLUCKY!

But YOU don’t see that, don’t feel that, don’t KNOW that, YOU not only ‘Bite the hand that feeds you’ out of the childish willfulness to ‘do what you should not’, YOU also ‘Lick the boot that kicks you’, because of the MOMENTARY self-will that drives you TO avoid pain YOU DESERVE out of FEAR – THESE ARE ‘THE VALUES’ OF A CHILD, EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS GOOD IS A FAKE DESIRE FOR SIMPLE RELIEF! But the anxiety driving those FAKE DESIRES is FLEETING, hidden from you BY YOUR SHALLOWNESS, so you don’t feel that momentary pang of fear, of anxiety that happens JUST before your desire kicks in TO COMFORT YOURSELF, you think your fake desires are REAL, that they come out out of a clear blue sky, that they make you better, strong, faster, more powerful, HAPPIER – THEY DON’T.

YOU EXIST AT A CHILIDISH LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS SO YOU ARE ‘MENTALLY SLOW’ BECAUSE YOU HAVE VERY LITTLE HEADSPACE – YOU DON’T SEE YOURSELF ACTING OUT THIS SHITSHOW UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE ACTED, IF THEN, INDEED YOU DON’T REALLY SEE YOURSELF ‘LIVE’ IN YOUR WORLD AT ALL ANYMORE,  CAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE…

SO YOU HAVE BECOME THE FRONT OF YOUR MOOD SWINGS FOREVER BOUNCING OF ANXIETY, DRIVEN AND DESPERATELY NEEDING THAT ANXIETY TO GIVE YOU ENOUGH ENERGY TO DO ANY BLOODY THING, LIKE MOST ANIMALS WHO BARELY RECOGNISE A REAL PICTURE OF THEMSELVES BECAUSE IT DOES NOT MATCH YOUR DELUSIONS WITHOUT A HUGE AMOUNT OF ‘FILTERING OUT REALITY’…

YES, YOU HAVE BECOME A BABY DEMON, OBLIVIOUS TO THE NARCISTIC ‘POVERTY’ OF YOUR OH SO FUCKING BLAND, OH SO BLOODY TEDIOUS ‘VICTIM’ COMPLEX, LOST IN YOUR OH SO MIND NUMBINGLY DULL SELF PITY, HAPPY TO SKIP ALONG THE FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM TREADMILL, LIKE ONE MORE CLEVER LITTLE COKE WHORE, A LOST SOUL FOREVER ‘TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH IT’…

YET EVERY MOMENT THE PAIN OF YOUR LONG FORGOTTEN CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE QUIETLY DOMINATES YOUR LITTLE LIFE BY CREATING A ‘FAKE CHARACTER OF REACTIONS’, THAT THEN CREATES YOUR LIFE, YET YOU DON’T SEE THAT, YOU THINK THAT LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT IS ‘YOU’, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU ‘WANT TO DO IN THE MOMENT’ AS AN AUTOMATIC PATTERN REACTION, MEMORISED SO WELL YOU HAVE TOTALLY FORGOTTEN WHY YOU WANT TO DO IT, AND NOW ITS ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO DO, YOU CAN’T EVEN STOP YOURSELF EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO.

SO YOU ARE LOST IN THE STUPIDITY OF ‘EGO SAFETY’ AS THAT IS ‘WHY YOU WANT TO DO IT’, AND THAT DID NOT EVEN WORK FOR YOU AS A KID WHEN YOU STUMBLED INTO IT VIA ‘TRIAL AND ERROR’ – YOU WANT THE ‘TRANSISTORY FEELING’ OF WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IN THAT MOMENT, NOT THE RESULT OF WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, YOUR LIFE GOALS OF ‘A FUCK UP’ ARE MOMENTARY, TRANSISTORY COMFORTS, DICKHEAD, SO YOU HAVE NO FUCKING GOALS AT ALL, DO YA, EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU WANT ‘OUTSIDE OF THIS MOMENT’ IS TRUMPED ‘IN THE MOMENT’ BY YOU ‘REACTIONS TO THAT MOMENT’, SO YOU ACTUALLY WANT ‘NOTHING’ BUT EGO SAFETY, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU DO..!

YES, FACE IT, YOU AS A SOURCE OF OPINION DON’T EVEN FUCKING EXIST, YOUR CHARACTER IS UNREAL, THE LEARNT, NOW UNCONSCIOUS REACTIONS OF ONE OF PAVLOVS DOGS, YOU ARE A PASSENGER IN YOUR OWN LIFE, YOUR DECISIONS ARE ALL PRE-DECIDED, PREFABRICATED BY ‘REACTIONS TO TRAUMA’ YOU IMPLANTED DECADES AGO – YOUR DESTINY IS YOUR CHILDHOOD…

AND THAT MEANS YOUR FATE IS TO REMAIN A CHILD, FOREVER – YOU HAVE NO CLASS SYSTEM, AND WITHOUT THE ENFORCED SELF CONSCIOUSNESS OF A CLASS SYSTEM YOU CAN NEVER EVER CHANGE, BECUASE YOU HAVE NOTHING ‘BETTER THAN’ TO ‘WANT TO COMPARE YOURSELF’ AGAINST – YOU THINK YOU ARE ‘OK’, THAT YOUR LIFE IS ‘OK’, THAT NOTHING IS ‘YOUR FAULT’…

SPOILER ALERT – YOU ARE AN OBVIOUS, LAZY CUNT, BUT YOU THINK YOU ARE ‘CLEVER’, AND YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT JUST HOW MANY OF YOUR NASTY LITTLE PLEASURES ARE BASED ON THE THRILL OF THAT SECRET CLEVERNESS THAT IS NEITHER SECRET OR CLEVER, IT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF A CHILDISH FUCK UP, A SPOLIT LITTLE BRAT, DESPERATE TO BE SAVED FROM THEMSELF…

SEE YOU NEED THAT DELUSIONAL THRILL EVERY DAMN DAY JUST TO COPE WITH BEING SUCH AN OBVIOUS CUNT, DON’T YOU, OTHERWISE YOU WOULD BE FORCED TO FACE IT, AND CHANGE, OTHERWISE YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN PARASITE, A BOIL ON THE ARSE OF THE WORLD, A TOXIC MESS OF BLOOD AND PUSS INFECTING EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH WITH YOUR SHIT…

AND THE AWFUL TRUTH IS THAT YOU ARE ‘NORMAL’, AND NOBODY CARES, YOU DON’T CARE, INDEED WE DON’T CARE – YOU LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT SEES YOU AS CATTLE, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU BEHAVE, SO THAT IS HOW YOU ARE TREATED, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED – THE CLASS SYSTEMS REQUIRED TO SAVE YOU, BOTH ANCIENT AND MODERN, ARE DESTROYED BY YOUR PRECIOUS ‘EQUALITY’, EVEN THOUGH EVEN YOU KNOW SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS…

SEE, WE ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO GET WORSE, SO AT SOME POINT IT MIGHT HURT ENOUGH THAT YOU DECIDE, FOR A MOMENT THAT YOU SHOULD CHANGE, BECAUSE YOU DECIDE YOU JUST MIGHT CARE ENOUGH TO TRY AND CHANGE, YOU JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO, BECAUSE YOUR PROBLEM IS THE PERFECT TRAP – YOU ARE A CHILD, YOU ARE YOUR REACTIONS, YOUR FAKE CHARACTER, AND THAT CAN’T CHANGE, EVER, IT HAS TO BE REPLACED WITH AN ‘EXTERNAL CHARACTER’…

SO YOU MUST REALIZE THAT ‘YOU’ ARE A USELESS TWAT, AS YOUR ‘AUTOMATIC CHARACTER OF THOUGHTLESS REACTIONS’ THAT IS NOT A CHARACTER CAN NEVER CHANGE BECAUSE YOU TRIED YOUR WAY, AND NOW KNOW THAT WITHOUT THE HELP ‘YOU DON’T WANT’, YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CLASS SYSTEM, SO NO CLASS, SO NO NEED OR ABILITY TO BE CONSISTENTLY SELF CONSCIOUS, AS YOU CAN ONLY STOP YOURSELF DOING SHIT OUT OF FEAR…

SADLY BY THEN YOUR ENERGY TO CHANGE WILL BE GONE, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN START TO LOOK – RUNNING AWAY WILL HAVE MADE YOU SO LAZY YOU HAVE ACCEPTED YOUR WEAKNESS, YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS, YOUR ADDICTIONS AND FETISHES AS NORMAL, AS THE LAST MILESTONE ON YOUR LIFE OF ‘MISERABLE EASE’, AS THE FINAL COMFORT OF THEM ALL, TO QUIT = OBLIVION…

#YAWN….

WELL, UNLESS YOU ARE GIFTED THAT IS, AND AS MUCH AS YOU STILL WON’T BE ABLE TO DO SHIT DIFFERENTLY, YOUR SPIRIT, WAITING IN THE WINGS ALL THESE YEARS, SURE AS HELL CAN… 

See, even I accept that as my last general post, designed to ‘help the unhelpable’ amongst you – A CHILD CANNOT THINK THEIR WAY OUT OF BEING A CHILD WITH OUT HELP – it is appropriate to ‘try the last’, and throw down some of my best, MOST PRACTICAL WORK, and wish you well with it. Just be aware – this POST IS FOR FOLKS ‘WHO WANT TO WIN’, BECAUSE THEY WANT TO ‘STOP LOSING’, THEY UNDERSTAND THEY LIVE ‘IN FEAR’ FOR NO REASON = LOSING AS A LIFESTYLE.

Its interesting really, see for many of you, for the GIFTED, SPIRITED FOLK OF THIS WORLD,  the process of GROWING UP is a process of RECOVERY – TO GETBACK THE POWER YOU HAD AS A KID BEFORE YOU WASTED ON ‘NOTHING’, so YOU MUST accept that job 1 is ‘STOP COMFORTING YOURSELF’ LIKE A BITCH – WINNING IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF COMFORT, COMFORT IS A TRIX TO MAKE SLAVERY MORE BEARABLE FOR A MOMENT, AND TRIXS ARE FOR KIDS, bitch.

Just note that this is NOT WHAT I DO, IT IS NOT TEACHING DEVELOPMENT TO GIFTED, SPIRITED PEOPLE , IT IS SIMPLY CATCHING YOU UP TO WHAT YOU SHOULD BE TO ‘START WITH’, SO YOU CAN GET PASSED YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. I  don’t teach animals to be GIFTED, I DON’T TEACH KUNDALINI in all its many forms, and I don’t teach animals to comfort themselves with Religion, Spiritualities 2nd prize. So this post will not be changed again, I have little interest in it, so if this level of detail does not reach you with the urgent need to recreate yourself in order to escape the banal tedium of your childish existence then there is nothing further I will do – we have reached the limit, anything further is pointless, a level of basic that means you are simply too stupid to change, AT LEAST BEFORE YOU GET SICK, BROKEN AND DESPERATE.

Please take this last comment as I intend it – an insult – you are wasting my time, content to hide in the shadows with your need for secrets like a big kid, even though you know your secret life is not even secret, with so little respect for yourself that you are NEVER GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH of the ‘RESPECT FOR ME’, FOR THIS GUIDANCE, that ‘you the child’ needs in order TO DO-ANY-BLOODY-THING DIFERENT, do you, dumb ass. YOU ONLY DO WHAT YOUR ‘CHOSEN AUTHORITY’ TELLS YOU, as a child, BECAUSE YOU NEED TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO IN ORDER ‘TO DO ANYTHING’ – YOUR NEED FOR A MASTER IS LITERALLY PART OF THE DNA OF A CHILD, SO THE CONSTANT NEED TO BE TOLD IS FORCED ON YOU UNLESS YOU GROW UP – A CHILD IS A ‘WILLING SLAVE’, AS IT COMFORTS IT.

Most of your current problems as a BIG KID come down to bad choices in the area of YOUR CHOSEN AUTHORITY, AND THE BLIND STUPIDITY WITH WHICH YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW IT IN ORDER TO COMFORT YOURSELF THAT SOMEONE HAS YOUR BACK – to make substantial life changing decisions as simple, CHILDISH need TO CLEVE to what you think is POWERFUL/GOOD TO PROTECT YOU, without a thought of its intention for you, YOUR UTILITY. This means you will be USED BADLY, as everyone THINKS YOU ARE DUMB AS FUCK, easily led, easily controlled, and easily fucked over for the fun of animals. This is particuarly bad for you when you reject the ‘correct authority’ IN FAVOUR TO A MUCH WEAKER ONE BECAUSE IT IS SIMPLY MORE PERSISTENT, AS THE COMFORT GENERATED BY LITTLE BUT OFTEN FELT POWER wears you the child down very quickly, SO YOU MAKE CONTINUAL, HORRIFIC MISTAKES IN WHO YOU TRUST.  

So choose wisely little people – I USE my ‘AUTHORITY’, my POWER AS A TEST WHICH YOU NEED TO SEE THE TRUTH IN THIS, HENCE ITS AUTHORITY OVER YOU, before you are worth the rest of it, TO SEE IF YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF YET, so USE THIS CHANCE TO SEE YOURSELF ‘NOW’, RIGHT-FUCKING-NOW, SEE THE OBVIOUS, PETTY TRIVIALITY OF YOUR NO-CHARACTER ‘NOW’, as then you won’t be so shocked when it is forced on you as you die. See ‘YOU THE CHILD’ as A MENTAL STATE, AS ‘A TRAIN OF THOUGHT’, ALWAYS DIES FIRST, BEFORE YOU ‘LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS’, because it is USELESS SET OF SCAFFOLDING, that once protected you THE CHILD, long, long ago BUT IS NOW RUSTED THROUGH. Now that CREEKY OLD FRAMEWORK does nothing but stick into soul like a rusty set of spikes on the GATE of a narrow little gateway to yourself, and so repels you, COVERS YOU UP, HIDES YOU, STOPS YOU BEING YOURSELF, forever.

CHOOSE WISELY, THE AUTHORITY YOU PLACE OVER YOURSELF IS ‘YOUR DESTINY’ and you destiny is happening NOW – THE CORRECT AUTHORITY IS WHAT ‘MAKES YOU STRONGER PERSONALLY’, NOT BY ASSOCIATION WITH OTHERS WHO YOU THINK PROTECT YOU, WHICH MAKES YOU WEAKER, MORE DEPENDENT, EVEN MORE OF A CHILD, OBVIOUSLY. Above all else you must GET STRONGER – STRONG ENOUGH TO GO SLIGHTLY MAD WITH A SMILE, STRONG ENOUGH TO GET BIGGER CONSCIOUSLY IN ORDER TO SEE YOUR DEMONS, STRONG TO FEED THOSE SAME DEMONS WHILST CONTROLLING THEM.

MOST OF ALL YOU MUST GET STRONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE YOU LIVE IN A PERSONAL FANTASY WORLD SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU MATTER, AS YOU ARE CREATING THAT OPINION IN YOURSELF, THEY DON’T HAVE AN OPINION, THE ARE ANIMALS – IT IS YOUR OPINION OF THEIR OPINION, ANOTHER FANTASY, SO CHANGE IT, OR BE FREE OF IT, IT IS A CHILDS REALITY. YOU CAN BE WHOEVER YOU WISH AS A CHARACTER BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO BLOODY CHARACTER AS A CHILD – CHOOSE ONE, PLAY A NEW, BETTER ROLE AND RE-INVENT YOURSELF BY REALIZING YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER, YOU ARE A VOID, A VACUM, SIMPLY COVERED UP BY THE REACTIVE, MECHANICAL PATTERNS OF A CHILD… A LITTLE FUCKIN KID…

 In the immortal words of Robert Louis Stevenson – “You cannot run away from a weakness, you must sometimes fight it out or perish. And if that be so, why not now and where you stand?” So be lucky, as for most of you the LUCK OF YOUR GIFT is the TINY TWIST OF FATE that will make the difference between STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS in the MOMENT OF YOUR NEED FOR THEM, and that is all this post is really about – I AM TRYING TO MAKE YOU LUCKIER BY FORCING BETTER PATTERNS AS TRUTH INTO YOUR THICK HEAD. YOU ARE ‘NO-THING’, HARMLESS, POWERLESS, USELESS, FECKLESS, A POINTLESS COMFORT SEEKING WHORE – YOU ARE FAKE, every single thing you think of yourself is fake = YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK TO YOURSELF.

SO DO YOURSELF A BIG FAVOUR, NOW – REALIZE ‘YOU ARE A CHILD’, SO EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR MIND IS PART OF THE BIOLOGICAL PROCESSES OF A CHILD – IT IS A MINDSET. THE BIGGEST AND MOST URGENT OF ALL THEM AT THE START IS SIMPLY THAT YOU NEED A SENSE OF URGENCY, AS A DISTINCT TYPE OF EMOTION TO DO ANYTHING, THAT IS HOW YOUR CHILD CURRENTLY CONTROLS YOU, SO THAT IS HOW YOU CAN LEARN TO CONTROL IT AND YOU- TO EVOKE A SENSE OF URGENCY FOR ANY CHANGE YOU WANT, CONSCIOUSLY, INSTEAD OF HAVING IT FORCED ON YOU. PRACTICE EVOKING THE URGENCY TO RESIST THE URGENCY OF YOU THE CHILDS REACTIONS, AND SO KNOW HOW FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT IS…

SEE ITS TIME TO GET ‘ENTHUISATIC’ WHICH IS A FEELING THAT CONSISTS OF ‘URGENCY’ AND ‘AGENCY’, THEN ‘REJECT THE AUTHENTICITY’ OF YOUR OLD ‘AUTHORITIES’ OVER YOU, REJECT ALL THE SHIT THAT IS STOPPING YOU CHANGING, AND GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT – IT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL EVER BE FREE OF ALL YOUR ‘POINTLESS ANXIETIES’ AND YOUR ‘POINTLESS DESIRE FOR RELIEF FROM THEM’ = YOUR CHILD..

PLEASE DON’T DELUDE YOURSELF – THIS IS NOT SPIRITUALITY TODAY, THIS IS ABOUT GETTING TO THE LEVEL OF A HUMAN BEING, GETTING ABOVE THE CHILDISH SLAVE ANIMAL OF YOU. SEE CONSCIOUS YOU DOES NOT REALIZE IT HAS THE POWER TO CONSCIOUSLY CONTROL ‘IT’, CONSCIOUS YOU DOES NOT KNOW WHAT OR EVEN WHERE THE SIMPLE CONTROLS ARE, LET ALONE HOW TO USE THEM IN ORDER OF ESCAPE AND OVERIDE THE NO CHARACTER OF A CHILD. CONSCIOUS YOU IS AN UN-USED MUSCLE, CONTENT TO SIT AND WATCH ITS ‘LIFE HAPPEN TO IT’, WITH A SAME-SHIT DIFFERENT-DAY BEMUSEMENT OF A FOOL – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCIOUSNESS IS A CONTROL ROOM, THE BRIDGE OF A SHIP AND START GIVING ‘ORDERS’. 

YES, UNDERSTAND – ITS NOT THAT ‘I’ AM THAT SMART TODAY, IT IS THAT YOU ARE THAT BLOODY STUPID, INDEED SO STUPID THAT ALL THE URGENCY AND AGENCY THAT YOU COULD EASILY USE TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’ ARE WASTED ON BEING SLIGHTLY MORE COMFORTUABLE, TO GET SOME RELIEF FROM ‘THE DESIRE FOR RELIEF’, THE EMPTY MENTAL TENSION OF IT, FOR A MOMENT… What a waste, eh – A WASTE OF THE AWESOMENESS YOU WERE BORN WITH – so is this little poo bag of smelly dogshit all you are ever going to be then? 

So read on then, learn something about yourself today, then find the sand to be disgusted by it, AND CHANGE. DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOU CANNOT COMFORT YOURSELF ANYMORE, DON’T WAIT FOR YOU THE CHILD TO FALL APART INTO NARCISSIM, ADHD, PARASITIC BEHAVIOURS OR THE OBLIVION OF MEDICATION – before YOUR SELF INFLICITED WEAKNESS OVERWHELMS YOU, AS YOU WILL BE TOO WEAK TO CHANGE – YOU MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOUR EVENTUAL FAILURE TO GO ON AS A CHILD painfully ‘REAL’, AND ‘NOW’, SO THERE IS STILL ENOUGH OF YOU LEFT TO DO IT. SO LOOK AROUND, LOOK AT ALL THE OTHERS LIKE YOU THAT ARE ALREADY LONG GONE, LOOK AT THE DISGUSTING PARASITIC MESS OF THEM, THE DESPERATION OF THEM, THE TEDIOUS UGLINESS OF THEM, AND KNOW SOON, THAT WILL BE YOU…

I was LUCKY in this regard, I was able to see my family history, so I knew how it ended when I was still at the the top of my game, when I still loved it, I SAW THE EARLY, CERTAIN PAINFUL DEATH OF IT ‘TOMORROW’. You don’t HAVE THIS REALIZATION I know, and that is a bitch, but you must find a way anyway, as that is where your URGENCY WILL COME FROM – where your new desire to continually ‘FORCE THE NEED’ TO CHANGE on you the child AS A NEW MINDSET WILL COME FROM, most likely, OTHERWISE ALL THE MOMENTS OF A CHILDS MINDSET WILL JUST MAKE YOU FORGET, OR SIDE TRACK IT AS ANOTHER DUSTY OLD HOBBY – YOU WILL FAIL BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, AND ONLY COME TOO WHEN YOU ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO DO IT, WHEN YOU ‘SICKEN YOURSELF’…

Without this SHOCK, ‘YOU THE UNHELPABLE CHILD’ are doomed to go on with your chosen form of self-destruction, AND KNOWING ALL THIS STUFF WILL ACTUALLY MAKE IT MUCH WORSE, IN THE END. See, ‘they’ are right, there actually is a special kind of personal hell for those who know what to do, but do nothing – LIKE YOU. But what do you care eh, YOU HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN WHAT YOU READ 10 SECONDS AGO – THIS IS HOW YOU THE CHILD PROTECTS ITSELF, IT MAKES YOU FORGET ALL THE TIME, WHICH IS WHY YOU CAN’T REALLY REMEMBER YOUR CHILDHOOD IN THE DAY TO DAY SENSE OF IT = PERSONAL HELL.

So I will give you A SHITLOAD of little tricks now TO HELP YOU GET STARTED, to use when you find yourself stuck in some sequence of moments overwhelmed by petty fear/desire/boredom, start with this – THAT IS THE MINDSET OF A 12Y/O GIRL, BUT YOU ARE NOT A 12Y/O GIRL ARE YOU, YOU HAVE SIMPLY FORGOTTEN YOURSELF, AGAIN. SO GO TO A MIRROR, LOOK AT YOURSELF AND REMIND YOURSELF OF ALL THE MILESTONES OF YOUR LIFE THAT HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE TO THIS MOMENT, BUT NOT AS GOOD OR BAD, JUST AS A NARRATIVE HISTORY WRITTEN THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE BY A INTERESTED HISTORIAN LOOKING FOR A GOOD, EXCITING ADVENTURE STORY TO TELL HIS MASTER – look for the plot line, all the interesting twists and turns is the key to it. 

THEN KNOW ‘THAT IS WHO YOU ARE’ AS YOU THE ADULT, THAT IS WHAT YOUR MINDSET SHOULD BE IN ORDER TO START THIS CYCLE OF CHANGE – THE MEMORY OF YOUR EXPEREINCE OF YOUR LIFE, WHICH WILL THEN CRUSH ALL YOUR LITTLE NEEDY MOMENTARY CRAP TO DUST – IT WILL NOT BE URGENT ANYMORE, AS IT WILL NOT BE THAT SCAREY, THAT SEXY, THAT BORING, AS BY COMPARISON TO YOUR HISTORY IT NEVER WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE. REMEMBER HOW YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR – MAKE A POINT OF BURNING IT INTO YOUR MIND – BECAUSE THAT IMAGE IS YOUR HISTORY NOW, SO THAT IMAGE IS YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR AGENCY.

SEE THAT, IN YOUR MINDS EYE, THE TRUTH IS YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE A LOST, LONELY AND CONFUSED 12 Y/O GIRL do you, AND HOWEVER SHOCKING THIS DIFFERENCE TO YOUR MOMENTARY REALITY IS, ‘YOU’ CAN NOW KINDA REMEMBER YOURSELF. SO ITS BEST TO STOP THINKING LIKE A 12 Y/O, AND GET ON WITH THE ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE, plus you can stop boring the motherfucking shit out of me – TRY AND BE ‘INTERESTING TO YOURSELF’ IN THE 3RD PERSON, ‘YOU THE PROTAGONIST’ OF YOUR ADVENTURE STORY AS ‘A SENSE OF SELF’, so you BECOME interested in what happens to you, NEXT, even have a goal or too that is not forced on you by circumstance.

However much YOUR STORY may not be ALL THAT, it a damn sight better than continually ‘forgeting your 3rd party self’, forgetting your STATUS, your RANK, your CONSEQUENCE THAT IS LITERALLY EMBEDDED IN YOUR HISTORY, out of your pathetic weakness of ‘no-character’. SO FIND A SENSE OF YOUR SELF YOU ENJOY BEING, IE ENJOY REMINDING YOURSELF YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU HAVE ‘DONE IT’. BUT KEEP IT REAL, YOUR HISTORY IS NOT A FANTASY, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, SO FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE ABOUT IT AND TURN THE PAGE TO WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN NEXT – YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’, should you get around to deciding that you in the 3rd person is ‘worth the effort’, EVEN IF THAT IS JUST CHANGING YOUR APPEARANCE TO SUIT YOUR ADVENTURE.

These are some of the simpler controls available to CONSCIOUS YOU over YOU THE CHILDISH SLAVE ANIMAL, so now if you choose not to use them YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME, don’t you, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF URGENCY, NO SENSE OF YOUR HISTOY, NO SENSE OF HOW YOU LOOK. But if you only tried these things you would quickly see the truth in them, many of the gifted amongst would be surprised to discover that you already do some little half assed version of them IN SOME WAY THAT IS LINKED TO YOUR GIFT – YOUR GIFT IS ALWAYS TRYING TO HELP YOU BE BETTER THAN, however much you pervert it.  

So ‘ACCEPT’ HERE AND NOW ‘THE AUTHORITY’ OF THIS TRUTH ‘OVER YOU’, ACCEPT MY AUTHORITY, MY ROLE IN YOUR LIFE, THE REASON SOMETHING HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE TO HELP YOU BY READING THIS, whatever silly little REASON you the child tells YOU. See before you change to something you must know what you are changing from, THE REALITY RIGHT NOW – YOU MUST REPLACE ‘COMFORTING FANTASY’ WITH INTERESTING REALITY BY ‘ACCEPTING IT’, first.

SO ACCEPT THE TRUTH OF THIS – YOU THE CHILD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, POWERFUL, IT DOES NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE A CONSISTENT, STRONG ‘SENSE OF SELF’ AS THE BADASS, FUCK YOU ‘ATTITUDE’ YOU SO DESPERATLEY NEED TO PROTECT YOU FROM ‘THEM’, FROM THE GUTLESS LITTLE ANIMALS, THAT SNIFF AROUND YOU LIKE LITTLE RATS, LOOKING FOR SCRAPS, AND SETTING TRAPS. YOU THE CHILD, WITH ALL THE WEAK, STUPID, SELF-SERVING ‘AUTHORITIES’ WITH NO AUTHORITY IT HAS GOT YOU TO PLACE ‘OVER YOURSELF’, WANTS YOU TO BE WEAK AND DEPENDENT, BY GIVING YOU JUST ENOUGH COMFORT AND CLEVERNESS TO KEEP YOU A WILLING SLAVE. But you are not clever, you have no secrets, no agency, no energy, no urgency, do you – you have LOST, SO SEE ‘THE DEFEAT’ OF YOUR LIFE IN THAT STUPIDITY.

YES – SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS, THIS LITTLE LIFE OF YOURS – ITS A CON, A CURSE, A JOKE, BUT YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT YOURSELF, AS THEN YOU WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THE HAVING THE 1 DIMENSIONAL GOAL OF ‘COMFORT’ ABOVE ALL ELSE – THE GOAL OF NO GOAL, THE GOAL OF SLAVE ANIMALS. SEE EVEN THE COWS IN THE FIELD KNOW BETTER THAN THAT, THEY FUCKING HATE THE FARMERS, KILLING THEM ANY CHANCE THEY GET EVEN AT THE COST OF THEIR OWN LIVES, ‘CAUSE THEY KNOW THAT FARMER WILL KILL THEM FOR FOOD SOON ENOUGH, WHATEVER THEY DO TO ‘PLAY NICE’…

So before you read on today, know this very simply – YOU ARE NOT A RIVAL, NOT AN ENEMY, NOT A WORTHY FOE OR CUNNING NEMISIS, YOU NEVER WERE, YOU, IN YOUR CURRENT STATE, ARE AN ‘OBJECT OF PITY’, THIS WAR YOU ARE FIGHTING IS ALL AN ILLUSION IN YOUR HEAD, LIKE A SCRATCHY STRAY WHO FIGHTS SIMPLY BECAUSE THAT IS ALL THEY KNOW. So take this chance now to SEE YOUR DEFEAT AND ACCEPT IT IN THE ONLY USEFUL WAY FORWARD THERE IS FOR A CHILD – TO RE-INVENT YOURSELF AND CHANGE SIDES BY FOLLOWING A BETTER AUTHORITY  THAN THE ONE YOU HAVE, THE ONE THAT HAS LED YOU TO THIS UTTER HUMILIATION AND FUNCTIONAL NOTHINGNESS, TO YOUR LOWEST EBB AND FLOW.

THEN ‘START AGAIN’ IN SECRET, QUIETLY, and let your DEVELOPMENT BECOME YOUR GOAL, YOUR NEW SECRET, INNER LIFE – YES, YOUR CURRENT WEAKNESS MEANS YOU CANNOT PUBLICALLY REJECT MANY OF YOUR ‘OBLIGATIONS’ YET, YOU MUST BARE ALL THESE VIELED THREATS AGAINST YOU, UNTIL YOU GET STRONG ENOUGH, UNTIL YOU HAVE RECOVERED YOURSELF ENOUGH TO CRUSH THEM, BEFORE THEY CRUSH YOU. SO YOUR NEW GOAL, THE INTERIM MARKER YOU NEED TO REACH, IS YOUR ‘INDEPENDENCE DAY’, THAT IS WHAT THIS ABOUT NOW, THAT IS HOW YOU LOOK AT IT, SO YOUR GOAL OF ‘THE COMFORTUABLE NOTHINGNESS OF BEARABLE SLAVERY’ IS GONE, AS IT IS, AND FRANKLY ALWAYS WAS, ‘THE ENEMY’.

YES – THESE ARE SIMPLE THINGS I KNOW, BUT YOU MUST GET EXCITED ABOUT THEM, ENERGIZE THEM IN ORDER TO FIGHT THE MECHANICALNESS OF ‘YOU THE HARMLESS CHILD’ – YOUR MINDSET, WHICH HAS NOT CHANGED SINCE YOUR EARLY TEENS, WILL FIGHT BACK, AS THESE CHANGES MEAN ITS DEATH. SO ARE YOU UP FOR THIS FIGHT YET, ARE YOU UP FOR THE MAGICAL, SUPERNATURAL WORLD THAT IS YOUR DESTINY, YOUR BIRTHRIGHT? 

Hope so, as for many of you it has been sitting patiently waiting for you to SEE IT THIS WHOLE TIME, whilst trying to keep your dumb ass alive, in the meantime. But you still have doubts I guess, so know this – DO YOU HONESTLY THINK ANYONE LIKE ME WOULD EVER BOTHER WITH YOU, IF WE DID NOT KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE, TO WASTE A MOMENT ON YOU, THE CRINGY LITTLE FUCK UP – SO WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF ALL THIS THEN? Seriously bitch, surely you are not that fucking retarded – THE AUTHORITY OF THE TRUTH SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, IT DOES NOT NEED A GANG, MUCH AS WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE AS WELL… 

So read on and ‘welcome’ to the REAL WORLD, I look forward to your progress, whether I ever meet you or not, just know that in this world you don’t ‘go along to get along’ like you have tried to do all these years, see in this world, in ACTUAL REALITY, ‘you kill or be killed’. This is not to be dramatic so much at this stage, as to make the point that the quid pro quo lifestyle of a slave, your whole old approach to life ‘has to go’ – you cannot continue to trade away the little quality you have for an easier life and expect to succeed in anything, so you must get that sometimes ‘you need to fight’, in order to discover the power of winning those fights, even if you occasionally fail. It is a new Attitude you are required to employ now, simply because it REPLACES the attitude of A SLAVE, with that of a human being…

And yes, its a hell of a change for ya, lost in the fantasy of the secondhand power of a slave to make you feel the fake relief of a child, all alone in your inferiority complex, but best get used to it all the same – THE ‘MORALITY’ OF SUPERNATURAL IS IN THE OLD TESTAMENT, NOT THE NEW ONE. See, when you actually ARE INFERIOR, WHEN ‘YOU LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR’, there is fuck all point in pretending to be badass, YOU ARE ‘SADASS’, BY DEFINITION – YOUR LIFE COULD BE DETROYED IN A MOMENT, AND ALL YOU COULD DO IS CALL THE POLICE, afterwards, when you have already ‘LOST’ the little you have.

One last little teacher secret to get you started, fast? Go on then – YOU THE CHILD IS ALL IN ‘YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT’, SO IF YOU BREAK THAT CHAIN, IF YOU STOP THINKING, EVEN FOR JUST A MOMENT, YOU CAN WAKE UP AND SEE YOURSELF FOR REAL, outside of the constant re-assuring, justifications of a KID. That is WHY YOU THE CHILD NEVER LETS YOU STOP THINKING, EVEN MAKING YOU OVER THINK WHENEVER YOU TRY AND HELP YOURSELF, yet you think that is a good thing, don’t you, YOU DON’T SEE ITS DEFENDING ITSELF, because it power over you is ‘threatened’ – ITS AUTHORITY is DOUBTED, so YOU MAYBE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING, BUT ITS ‘NOT YOU’, ITS ‘IT’ THAT IS WRONG.

AS A CHILD EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ‘THE AUTHORITY’ YOU ‘CHOOSE TO PLACE OVER YOURSELF’, so choose wisely – YOU HAVE NO POWER TO THINK FOR YOURSELF, YOU JUST REACT, SO SOMETHING ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU MUST THINK FOR YOU, ON BEHALF OF YOU, TO YOUR BENEFIT.

Be clear – even when you TRY YOUR BEST, you are forced to go in circles by YOUR CHILDISH MINDSET, that is the CURSE OF IT, why you must look OUTISDE OF YOURSELF for the help YOU NEED INSIDE YOURSELF, SO YOU MUST REALIZE ‘WHAT YOU ARE’, BY SEEING ‘WHY’ YOU ACTUALLY ‘WANT TO DO’, WHAT YOU ‘ACTUALLY DO’ – THEN THE ANCIENT GREEK ADVICE OF THE MYSTERY SCHOOLS, CARVED ON THAT STONE AT DELPHI 3000ys AGO, WILL MAKE SENSE…

Lastly should be be clever enough to despair slightly at this point don’t – ‘you have made it through this far in an unforgiving place’, so its all good. See you are missing the point, there is no point in despair, AS THERE IS NOTHING INSIDE YOU TO DESPAIR ABOUT. You are an opinionless void, inside you where your character should be is an empty vessel, an echo chamber, SO TAKE YOURSELF LIGHTLY, and SEE THE ACTUAL FUN OF THIS ADVENTURE, SEE YOUR SPIRIT IN IT, THE ONLY THING ABOUT YOU WORTH A DAMN – you will be dead and forgotten soon enough.

YOU ARE STARTING FROM NOTHING, so you have nothing to lose but your own petty little middle class perversions, and even they are so tame that nobody really gives a shit, do they. Some folks, much meaner and far less woke than my good self, may even say that ‘You wack, you twisted, your girl’s a ho, You broke, the kid ain’t yours and everybody know’ (Sorry, DMX), just creeping around and stinking out up the place with your low quality b/s like a TWAT. Go figure, eh, some of these 4th wayers are a bunch of Nazi bastards like, just laughing at ya, burn your whole life down just to teach you a ‘lesson’, but not me of course – I’M ‘GOOD’, and that is not just my ‘Messiah Complex’ talking, see I just PITY you, that’s how I know I’m good…

Have a nice life anyway, time for me to bolt the door and the ring the bell – its scares away the crazies, LIKE YOU. If it helps at all try and remember, best you can, whatever you do – all of your PUBLIC humiliations, as the advertisement of your SECRET LIFE are done to you ON PURPOSE, both by YOU THE CHILD AND ITS CHOSEN AUTHORITY OVER YOU – YOU ARE SO STUPID  THAT EVEN SEEIN THAT YOU THINK IT IS ‘BETTER THAN NOTHING’. It is the very definition of being a child – TO BELIEVE YOU HAVE SECRETS, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU SO DESPERATELY NEED TO, but even me telling you this does not really help, does it, AS YOU ARE THAT DESPERATE. So grow up or burn little girl, your choice like, I don’t care, DO YOU?

SO, FOR THE STRONGEST AMONGST YOU PLEASE SEE THIS AND ACCEPT IT – TO BE ‘WHAT YOU ARE’, TO BECOME YOURSELF, THEN ‘WHAT YOU ARE NOT’ RIGHT NOW HAS TO LOSE, AND CONSCIOUS YOU AS TO SEE THAT LOSS, AND UNDERSTAND WHY. IT IS THE ANCIENT WAY, THE MYSTERY SCHOOL WAY, AND FOR THE MOST GIFTED OF YOU, IT IS THE ONLY WAY. YOUR GIFT KNOWS THIS, AND IS PUTTING YOU THROUGH YOUR VERY OWN ‘RITE OF PASSAGE’ IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THIS NOW, BUT YOU FIGHT IT STILL, LONG AFTER YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU FINAL DEFEAT IS INEVITABLE. 

SO LOSE, LOSE AS COMPLETELY AS YOU CAN, EMBRACE THE FAILURE OF YOU THE CHILD, YOUR EGO, SO YOU CAN START AGAIN, REINVENT YOURSELF AS A CLEAN SLATE. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE THIS JUMP, MUCH AS I WISH I WAS SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW MORE THAN MY ANCESTORS, I AM NOT, SO THIS TEST, WHICH YOU MUST PASS, REMAINS THE WAY IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN – YOU MUST WANT TO LOSE, TO BE DIFFERENT. BUT THERE IS NO NEED TO BECOME RELIGIOUS, NO NEED TO BE BORN AGAIN, TO FOLLOW THE WILL OF GOD, YOU MUST SIMPLY LOSE, REJECT ALL THE OLD AUTHORITY OVER YOU BECAUSE OF THAT LOSS, AND THEN GET USED TO ‘DOUBTING EVERYTHING’ YOU THINK YOU THE CHILD KNOWS, SECRETLY…

If it HELPS AT ALL try and SEE WHAT HAS HAPPENED – YOU HAVE ‘ALREADY LOST’, LONG AGO, you are just compensating for it, stuck in a loop of LOSING as a set of comforting patterns that cover up the truth with CLEVERNESS. This self-destructive stupidity is the end of many of highly gifted woman, yet THEY GO TO THE GRAVE WITH IT, so if that is YOU, I can only hope YOU NOW UNDERSTAND TO CHANGE IS ACTUALLY TO ‘STOP LOSING’ and starting WINNING AGAIN.

SO KICK THE STOOL OUT FROM UNDER YOUR DESPERATION TO JUSTY THE HORRIBLE SHIT YOU HAVE DONE BECAUSE OF IT, ACCEPT IT WAS MADNESS, AND MOVE ON. See nobody, including ME, cares about YOU THE CHILD because IT IS TOXIC, nobody gives the smallest fuck what your parasitic little gang thinks, AS EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE A BUNCH OF LITTLE FREAKS – in ‘your’ head it all makes perfect sense, BUT IT IS NONSENSE, ALL OF IT, IT ALWAYS WAS. ANYTHING DONE OUT OF THE URGENT DESPERATION TO BE ‘RIGHT’ IS A CON, THAT LEADS TO YOUR CONTINUAL HUMILIATION – SEE IT, THERE IS NO UPSIDE, THE COMFORTING CLEVERNESS OF YOUR OWN PETTY SELF DESTRUCTION AS ‘A MOMENTARY SENSE OF RELIEF’ IS JUST DUMB AS FUCK, SEE IT..

The key to this ‘seeing’, for many if not most of you is knowing which single card holds up the whole bizarre mental construct of your fragile little house of cards, the one that makes all of this shit ‘OK’ – SO KNOW THE MOST COMMON ONE, IN MY EXPEREINCE, IS TO REALIZE YOUR CHOSENS AUTHORITY DOES NOT HAVE YOUR BACK, AT ALL. YOUR CHOSEN AUTHORITY BENEFITS FROM YOUR DESTRUCTION, YOUR HUMILIATION, SHAMING YOU ON PURPOSE, LYING TO YOU BECAUSE IT CANNOT BARE YOUR ESCAPE, YOUR ‘BETTER THAN THEM’ – THEY must ‘SHOW’ THE WORLD ‘HOW DUMB’ YOU ARE, ‘PUBLICALLY’, ITS THE POINT OF YOU, YOUR UTILITY.

See you ‘MUST SUFFER FOR THEM’, as they can’t cope otherwise, so take a friendly word of advice, look at your ‘extremes’, and know that you have all the POWER, so you are actually YOUR OWN AUTHORITY, you always were FAR, FAR more powerful than them – SEE THAT, THEN STOP and CHANGE YOUR AUTHORITY. You must BREAK THE SPELL, stop letting YOU THE CHILD AND THEM use your credulity, your gullibility, your desire to throw good money after bad AGAINST YOU – YOU MUST ACTUALLY HAVE AN ‘IDENTITY CRISIS’ (Sorry, Wokeness), because you see your old (not so) secret identity IS A CONJOB, and YOU HAVE BEEN BETRAYED, HUNG OUT TO DRY, ONE TO MANY TIMES.

That is were you start, BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR ‘PAIN POINT’, and that pain is the ‘STRENGTH TO CHANGE’ IN THE MOMENT OF NEEDING IT, instead of lapsing back into the weakness of comforting yourself for being NOTHING, again. This is where your NEW SENSE OF SELF, YOU BETTER THAN IDENTITY WILL ‘START’, so however much you LOVE FEELING LIKE A ‘DANGEROUS WOMAN’, you can actually start to do that the right way, instead of the awful, public, humiliating bollocks you are making of it, currently. See the Gifted version of this is to be FREE, and only works if you are FREE TO CHOOSE, but you are not, are you. 

SO YOU MUST REMAIN CONSCIOUS THAT SUFFERING THE CONSTANT ANXIETY OF A CHILD HAS MADE YOU ‘SUBSERVIANT’ VIA WEAKNESS AS NORMAL, SO TO ALSO PUT YOUR SPIRIT INTO THE COMFORTS OF SUBSERVIENCE IS GIFTED SUICIDE, YOU ONLY PUT YOUR GIFT INTO WHAT MAKES YOU STRONGER. Never under estimate the power of this ‘SLAVE CONDITIONING’, it is insidious, because it makes subservience comfortable, and challenge un-comfortable – it was perfected by the Romans thousands of years ago, which they called ‘seasoning’, to BREAK THE SPIRIT OF CAPTIVES.

If you find you cannot do even EASY conflict at all without extreme dis-comfort YOU MUST MAKE A POINT OF BREAKING THIS CONDITIONING AS JOB 1, as there is no way forward with that level of vulnerability to parasites, particuarly the ones who pretend to be your friends, who are nice, who reward your utility, whilst shaming you behind the scenes for kicks – YOU MUST BREAK THE SPELL OVER YOU, BY SIMPLY DOING IT ANYWAY, BUT PRACTICE IN SMALL THINGS, FIRST…

So that is it – simply know you STILL have the mindset of a child and resolve to remain conscious of it in all you do, use a self consciousness trick like remaining aware of how you look good before you move onto BOTTLE, PLUS that YOU are clearly no longer a 13y/o girl. In this way you will learn the conscious controls of yourself, and then want to use them, rather than simply comfort yourself for still being a little kid, BY REJECTING THE AUTHORITY OF BOTH THAT LITTLE KID AND THE NASTY, PARASITIC ‘EXTERNAL AUTHORITIES’ THAT LITTLE KID HAS TRICKED YOU INTO PUTTING OVER YOUR LIFE.

See YOU did not make these mistakes, IT did, and that is one of the greatest get outa jail free cards you will ever find, AS IT WILL ALLOW YOU TO DISOWN THE EMBARRISSMENT OF DISOWNING YOUR PAST SELF AS ‘WRONG’ – NONE OF THIS HORRIBLE LITTLE FREAK SHOW OF SHIT WAS ACTUALLY YOU. IT IS A FREAK, IT IS 2 FACED, IT IS DISLOYAL, IT IS AN HABITUAL LIAR, IT HAS ADHD, IT IS A NARCISSIST, IT IS UNSTABLE, IT IS AN ADDICT, IT IS LAZY, IT IS DELUSIONAL, IT IS A BLIND, STUPID, CLEVER LITTLE WHORE, NOT YOU – DISOWN IT, THEN YOU WILL SMELL BETTER TO US.

So all of this is easy, practical, and – should you be someone who mainlines attention as your drug of choice, because you are unaware that attention is simply the TRIGGER for the feeling of your SPIRIT, (and this is a much better one of those same triggers) – IT IS ‘THE CURE’ FOR ALL EXTERNAL WEAKNESS OF YOUR ‘NO CHARACTER’. So why not get the fuck on with it – remind your woke little self that YOUR BETTER THAN is not about actual superiority to others, IT IS ABOUT NOT FEELING INFERIOR, which will feel like BEING SUPERIOR to you, simply because YOU A STUCK IN THE MINDSET OF A CHILD.

FEEL SUPERIOR WITH A CLEAR HEAD – IT IS REQUIRED TO BREAK YOUR INFERIORITY, and honestly for many of you I know from back in the day it is a very small correction to your current lifestyle, AS YOU ALREADY CHASE A PERVERTED VERSION OF IT, like a big kid. The world is full of happy, successful, popular, rich, beautiful, famous, powerful RUTHLESS PEOPLE, because they have learnt to be RUTHLESS with themselves FIRST, and CUT OUT WHAT DOES NOT WORK. If you ‘suffer from anxiety’ then YOU SUFFER FROM YOU THE CHILD, simply because it wants you to suffer – TAKE A KNIFE TO IT, given what it has done to the ‘once amazing you’, that it is responsible for the trivial, forgettable mess you are now, it deserves to die, don’t you think…

But never forget the DANGER OF THE AUTHORITIES YOU THE CHILD HAS PLACED OVER YOU – it is the reason I have added this section for modern people. See even when you want to CHANGE THOSE AUTHORITIES WILL STOP YOU, because they need you to SUFFER, SO THEY FEEL BETTER, SO THEY FEEL CLEVER. So SEE THE TRUTH, YOU THE CHILD ACTS THROUGH THOSE AUTHORITIES TO CONTROL YOU, BUT THOSE AUTHORITIES ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF YOU. YOU OWE THEM NOTHING, so never feel sorry for happens to them, they all have it coming – THEY ARE PARASITES, SO THEY ARE DOMINATED BY A PAINFUL SENSE OF THE MOST BASIC ANIMAL EMOTION – A CRUSHING SENSE OF JEALOUSY = THE MOST BASIC OF ALL BITCHES = THEY ARE ‘DOGS IN A MANGER’.

So Be Lucky, Be Ruthless – ‘kill or be killed’, there is no comfort in being controlled by jealous freaks, no power in desperation, so CHOOSE A BETTER AUTHORITY, now – you must make this new authority ACTIVE, you must have a relationship with it in order to replace the old ones, as no matter how weak and parasitic they are, their persistence will continually drag ‘your utility’ back in otherwise. See they are all you have WHEN YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, desperate to comfort yourself, and that is just too pathetic for words, don’t you think – TO DESTROY YOURSELF SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU NEED ‘SOMETHING STRANGE’ TO GET THROUGH THE DAY… 

Let go of the past and move on – CHOOSE BETTER AUTHORITIES – YOU NEVER KNOW, IF YOU CAN START TO CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU THEN OTHER, MUCH BETTER PEOPLE THAN YOU, MAY START TO CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, AS YOU MAY THEN ACTUALLY BE WORTH IT, once you decide to ‘STOP BEING AN INSIGNIFICANT INSECT’ that is here today and gone tomorrow, and nut up to ‘having a go at life’, at BEING SERIOUS = CONSISTENT.

Just don’t END YOUR LIFE as one more JEALOUS LITTLE TWAT, eh, some ‘DRUNK WASHED UP IN AUSTIN’, they are always such DESPERATE LOSERS, such repulsive, obvious, ugly little people, even their fake friends hate them, so they betray them every chance they get just to protect themselves, as then they can pretend to themselves that they are ‘good’, at least for a moment. See, should YOU EVER HIT THIS MILESTONE ‘YOURSELF’, of being ONE MORE OBSESSIONALLY JEALOUS PARASITE, a toxic narcissist, then it is best to know that even the PITY of ‘GOOD’ bad men eventually runs out, and shit is just going to HAPPEN, even before ‘your society’ comes to lock you up…

CHOOSE WISELY, everything about you has ‘happened before’, so folks like me know what is ‘going to happen’, and its much, much later than you think – when everything ends, as everything always does, IT IS REALLY GOING TO HURT, as the clever desperation of a child, of hiding behind drug addiction and mental illness, won’t help YOU THE NASTY LITTLE KID. See, your shit only appears ‘cool’ when its ‘secret’, when its public you will officially be ‘DISGUSTING’ (Sorry, P.Diddy) – funny when you think about it, you the kid can make even the most grubby, repulsive shit SEEM cool just by making it secret, so it seems ‘exclusive’, ‘exciting’, but all it really means is that YOU’RE A GULLIBLE DORK, trying to feel special, INCLUDED, because you don’t see THE LONELY LITTLE KID ‘WHO IS DRIVING’…

Ok, sorry, my bad – its not that funny really, GUESS ITS KINDA SAD WHEN ITS YOU. Just try and see that JOKE, that you so desperately need to feel clever, is on YOU, bitch, then you won’t be fooled quite so easily next time, maybe. See you MUST ESCAPE THE OBLIGATIONS that control you, you must MOVE ON, otherwise your weakness with devour your life, both internally and externally, so STOP PUTTING TRASH ON A PEDESTAL, your ‘BETTER THAN’ is the only AUTHORITY YOU PLACE OVER YOURSELF, STOP the banal middle class comforts of NOTHINGNESS – YOUR SOCIETY IS FLAWED, IT IS ABOUT ‘CONSUMPTION’ NOT PROGRESS…

If you like, WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET MAD AND ‘TRY’ BEING SCARY, for a change – its EASY REALLY, much as you won’t actually be scary obviously, but you may come across as slightly less of a vulnerable, scattered, lazy ass ‘doormat’, for a moment. The Go To strategy of ‘seeking comfort by being overly kind’ is the death of so many gifted types these days its actually beyond a joke. SO YOU LEARN THE SKILL OF BEING ‘VICIOUS’ WITH YOURSELF AND THE ANIMALS, THAT IS ALL THEY UNDERSTAND, THE PAIN OF YOUR ‘CONSEQEUNCE’, as being ‘SLIGHTYLY LESS NICE’ AS A FORM OF PUNISHING YOUR ABUSERS DOES NOT DO SHIT. See they think you are DEPENDANT fool to start with, so TELLING THEM THEY ARE ‘DEAD TO YOU NOW’ just makes them laugh even more…

KNOW THE DEVELOPMENT OF CONSEQUENCE, of the need to be EN-GUARD in this life, is the beginning of CONSISTENCY, what so many flakey, every changing MODERN PEOPLE LACK, which you the child loves, AS IT MAKES INCREDIBLY EASY TO CONTROL – YOU HAVE NO FIXED OPINIONS, AT ALL. However hard this always is for folks like me to understand, UNLESS you develop some RELIABILITY IN YOURSELF, you THE COMFORT SEEKING DORK will NEVER HAVE ‘A SENSE OF SELF’ THAT IS STABLE ENOUGH TO BE USEFUL. Just note that to DEVELOP CONSEQUENCE you most go against the powerful people in your life, not pick on others the same as you, AS THAT IS ‘SAFE’, so will not change you – SO YOU STAND UP TO THE AUTHORITIES YOU HAVE PLACED OVER YOURSELF.

SEE your felt CONSEQUENCE, YOUR INDEPENDENCE REPLACES SUBSERVIENCE, IT REMOVES THE URGE TO BE A SLAVE AND ‘GO ALONG TO GET ALONG’, GET IT YET? So find a PAIN POINT that is CONSISTENT ENOUGH so you can GET STARTED, RELIABLY, otherwise you will continue to justify where you are NOW AS ‘OK’ – THE TRICK TO GROWING UP FOR SO MANY OF THE WEAKEST AMONGST YOU IS SIMPLY STARTING, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BY DOUBLING DOWN ON THAT ‘PAIN OF SUBSERVIENCE TO AUTHORITY’. So stop making being NOTHING ‘BEARABLE’, and then you will WANT TO CHANGE – BEING NOTHING IS A DEATH SENTENCE, AS THEY WILL DESTROY YOU IN THE END, simply because they can…   

You must learn to ‘manage out’ the old AUTHORITIES you the child has placed OVER YOU SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW IT, it is a key part of GROWING UP – WHEN YOU TRUST YOUR ‘CONSEQUENCE’, YOUR ‘CONSISTENCY’ then you will a ‘POWER-BASE’, A STABLE SOURCE POINT IN YOURSELF TO START FROM. You MUST TRUST THIS NEW AUTHORITY IN YOURSELF, as without this STRENGTH modern people just tend to blow back and forth in the wind, running to whatever ‘comfort of the moment’ appears, like stupid whores, AS THEY ‘DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE’, so do whatever to avoid trouble as one more little comfort, FOR NO REASON OR NEED AT ALL. Trust ME, if your go to response to anyone who even mildly annoys you is VIOLENCE, folks with start to treat you way better… 

SO CHOOSE YOUR AUTHORITIES WISELY, they are YOUR FATE – so much of the failure to grow up is down to the comfort of expectation, obligation and routine that surrounds you like a cage of banal nothingness. TO  CHALLENGE THIS FATE OF NOTHINGNESS you must find a PAIN POINT TO GIVE YOU BOTH THE ENERGY AND THE URGENCY TO GO AGAINST THE WORSE OF IT – WITHOUT ‘THIS NEW AGENCY’ your FATE IS ALREADY SEALED. And without SAVING THE LITTLE ENERGY YOU HAVE TO PUT INTO GETTING SOME NEW ENERGY, then you will simply continue to fade away, whatever you think, WHATEVER YOU DO../

SO YOU MUST REMEMBER ALWAYS, AS YOU READ THE REST OF THIS POST…

TO CHANGE YOU ‘MUST’ CHANGE YOUR ‘MODE OF BEING’ FIRST, YOUR MINDSET IN ‘THE MOMENT OF OPPORTUNITTY TO CHANGE’.

SO YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO THROW A SWITCH IN YOURSELF TO ‘STEP UP’ YOUR GAME IN THAT MOMENT – IN THOSE MOMENTS OF CHANGE YOU MUST SWITCH AWAY FROM THE PASSIVE REACTING THAT IS ‘COPING’ AND ‘ACT DIFFERENTLY’.

YOU MUST EMBRACE THE ACTIVE ‘DOING OF CHANGE’, NOT JUST DREAMING OF CHANGE, BY BEING DIFFERENT IN THE MOMENT – USE YOUR ENERGY, ALL THIS TAKES FREE ENERGY, A LOT OF ENERGY, SO YOU MUST GUARD YOUR ENERGY, AS THIS WILL ‘STORE IT’.

BUT YOU HAVE NO FREE ENERGY, INDEED YOU HAVE AN ENERGY DEBT, OFTEN A HUGE ONE, WHICH IS WHY YOU ‘OVER THINK’. See, for the all the ADHD killers – the vulnerabilities to infatuation with what ever passes by, the emotional exhaustion, the constant fidgeting, the clumsiness, the blindness  – just know THE KILLER ONE IS PROCASTINATION. These this is a way FOR YOU THE CHILD TO WASTE YOU ENERGY ON ACTIVE STOPPING – YOU ARE LITERALLY FIGHTING YOURSELF IN ORDER TO CONTINUE TO DO NOTHING, when whatever you could of done out of the ‘CHANGE’ choices WOULD OF BEEN BETTER THAN NORMAL. 

This disease of the mind makes you the child waste the little energy You have on NOT DOING ANYTHING, even though YOU think that THINKING about doing stuff is doing stuff! BAD NEWS – DOING NOTHING DEGRADES YOUR ENERGY SYSTEM, PASSIVELY WATCHING, LISTENING, FEELING, so your ENERGY SYSTEM ‘SHRINKS’ A LITTLE MORE EVERYDAY, till around say your early 30s you notice you don’t have 50% of what you had in your late teens, YOUR STAMINA HAS GONE, which causes you to do even less, AND SHRINK EVEN QUICKER – YOU COMFORT YOURSELF FOR BEING WEAK, WHICH MAKES YOU EVEN WEAKER…

SO THIS NEW MODE YOU NEED HAS TO START WITH ENERGIZING YOURSELF TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY DECIDED TO DO.

SEE THE GOLDEN RULE OF ENERGY IF YOU MUST USE IT TO KEEP IT, OTHERWISE YOUR ENERGY SYSTEM SHRINKS AND SHRINKS.

THEN ONE DAY, SOON ENOUGH YOU WILL WAKE UP NOT JUST CONFUSED, LOST AND TIRED, BUT ‘OLD’, ‘INCAPACITATED’.

THE BEST WAY TO SEE THIS IS NOT THAT YOU ARE DOING THINGS, BUT THAT YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR ENERGY TO CHANGE…

MAKE NO MISTAKE IF YOU CONTINUE TO PISS YOUR ENERGY AWAY ON COPING WITH COMFORT LIKE A DORK THEN THE SAME SAD SHIT THAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU NOW WILL JUST GET WORSE, AND WORSE, AND WORSE, UNTIL YOUR PUBLIC HUMILIATION IS SO TOTAL EVEN YOU WILL SEE IT ON THE FACES OF OTHERS. ALL THE PARASITIC CLEVERNESS IN THE FUCKING WORLD WON’T COMFORT YOUR ASS MUCH THEN, BECAUSE THE REALITY OF SHAME WILL CRUSH YOU – YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T ALREADY DO AS A REACTION, YOU ARE A ‘ROBOTIC FUCK PUPPET’, NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT FREE WILL TAKES ENERGY TO ‘USE’…

The goal is simple – BECOME A HUMAN BEING, WITH ENOUGH SELF CONSCIOUSNESS TO REALIZE YOU ARE NOT SELF CONSCIOUS MOST OF THE TIME, that normally you ‘simply exist’ on ‘automatic pilot’, so everything is the same, its looks the same, tastes the same, smells the same, sounds the same, and you DO THE SAMETHINGS. So what you aim for is to take CONTROL OF THE 10% OF YOURLIFE PRO-ACTIVELY, AS DECISIONS YOU THINK UP AND THEN LAUNCH ON THE YOUR WORLD OUT OF THE BLUE, that you are able to do when self-conscious, and CHOOSE HOW YOU REACT TO THE OTHER 90% YOU YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF CONTROLLING, at an animal level of consciousness, even if that means you have to do the same dumb shit, AT LEAST NOW YOU KNOW ITS DUMB SHIT.

Please take this last statement deadly serious – IF YOU DON’T DO THIS SOON, then a time will come when your ability to do it will be GONE. See, way before you die, even before your health goes, your energy will decline to the point THAT YOU WILL HAVE NO ABILITY TO BE SELF CONSCIOUS, it will become HOPELESS even to try, and even the folks around you will start to see you are little more than a BORKEN RECORD, a stereotype. Without anything to react your mental world will start to close in on you, turn on you, with loads of little failings, ALL DRIVEN BY YOUR LEVEL OF ANXIETY, which means you have ‘BECOME DESPERATE’ – you are so weak that your anxieties spiral, skipping from one topic to the next, driving you to increasing levels of comfort, relief, oblivion. 

DON’T IGNORE THIS WHEN ITS STARTS TO HAPPEN, IT IS TO DO WITH YOUR ENERGY DEBT AS A HEDONIST, use it as a spur TO CHANGE THE FOCUS OF YOUR LIFE AWAY FROM SLAVERY, TOWARD A PERSONAL DEDICATION TO ‘SELF CARE’, BY FOCUSING ON YOUR ENERGY LEVELS. If you don’t then you will not have a life worthy of the name much longer, everything you experience will become momentary, your moods will swing wildly to the point you don’t know yourself, INDEED YOU WILL BE FORCED INTO SELF DESTRUCTION THROUGH IGNORANCE, AS IT THE ONLY ‘RELIEF’ YOU THE CHILD WILL ALLOW YOU TO DO. 

At this point you are in a ‘cage fight’ – YOU DESTROY THE ANXIETY OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’, OR IT DESTROYS YOU. SO BURN INTO YOUR MIND THE NO1 TRICK YOU THE CHILD PLAYS ON YOU – CHASING COMFORT FROM ANXIETY IS THE EXACT SAME AS CHASING ANXIETY IN A DIFFERENT FORM, YOU ARE DESTROYING YOUR SELF TO FEEL BETTER. All comfort is a sense of RELIEF, not pleasure, not fun, and RELIEF IS SIMPLY LESS/DIFFERENT ANXIETY, WHICH IS STILL ANXIETY. See it clear – by spending your life bouncing back and forth BY FETISHSIZING YOUR EXISTENCE as little more than a sequence of petty reliefs, YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOUBLING UP ON ANXIETY.

This is HOW YOU ARE CONTROLLED, and CONSCIOUS YOU must get to the point where you see this IN REALTIME, FAST…

SO LEARN TO COMFORT YOU THE CHILD WITH ELITISM, INSTEAD.

LEARN THE FELT THRILL OF BEING BETTER THAN THE TRASH THAT SURROUNDS YOU…

IT IS NOT FASCIST, IT IS ‘COMFORT REPLACEMENT THERAPY’ FOR BIG KIDS WITH ‘THE PLEASURE OF PERSONAL POWER’.

EMBRACE THIS CONCEPT NOW, FOR MOST ITS THE ONLY FUCKING WAY OUT OF LITTLE PERSONAL HELL OF ‘DOUBLING UP ON YOUR ANXIETY’ AS A WAY OF LIFE. When you do you will understand why I, why WE, why every celebrity, priest, genius, why all the beautiful folks of this world ARE THAT WAY – THEY CHASE THE FEELING OF ELITISM, NOT THE FACT, so don’t worry if your facts don’t match the feeling, FIND AWAY TO FEEL IT ANYWAY, MAKE YOURSELF BETTER THAN PERSONALLY, PUBLICALLY AND MAKE A POINT OF ENJOYING IT, NOT HIDING IT AND NOT NEEDING ANY EXTERNAL INTERACTION TO TRIGGER IT.

Then, soon, YOU ACTUALLY WILL BE BETTER THAN THE TRASH THAT SURROUNDS YOU, like ‘US’, as you will then start to ‘BE US’, instead of ‘them’, AND NOT BEING ‘THEM’ IS AN END IN ITSELF – TO USE THE FEELING OF ELITISM TO GROW UP, like you should of done as a child. This works even if it simply hold how GOOD YOU LOOK in your mind as a comfort ALL THE TIME, and how lowering yourself with the uglies IS A FELT SHAME that STOPS YOU. Work on it, STUDY THIS NEED, FIND WAYS TO DO IT, just REMEMBER IT MUST BE ‘PERSONAL and PUBLIC’, IMPLICIT IN YOUR BEING but there for all to see, so not money, not the power of position, not A REWARD FOR SLAVERY, that is a FAKE FEELING FOR ANIMALS. It MUST BE THERE ALL THE TIME, IT MUST BE PERMANENT, BUT YOU MUST TRAIN YOURSELF TO FEEL IT more and more, and not be distracted BY ANXIETY…

When you have MASTERED THIS FEELING OF ELITISM, when you LIVE THERE, then for the Gifted all the GROWING UP stuff gets much easier, AS YOU WILL WANT TO DO IT AS PART OF THAT SAME ‘FELT ELITISIM’, it becomes your ‘Cursus Honorum’. YOUR VERY OWN SUPERNATURAL EXISTENCE WILL REVEAL ITSELF TO YOU, AS PART OF ELITISM, as your old normal life will look like little more than a childs game YOU LOST IN THE PLAYGROUND, but got stuck in as an ADULT, reliving the same shit different day and calling it ‘a life’ – YOU WILL SEE YOU WERE STUCK IN YOUR ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX OF FELT ANXIETY’. So you will understand JUST HOW DUMB AS FUCK you are right now, sitting there, reading this, LOOKING FOR A WAY TO FEEL A BIT CLEVERER, for a moment…

In the words of one highly GIFTED French woman – ‘what you are saying is I need to find a way TO SHINE all the time FOR ITS OWN SAKE AS A FELT POWER ABOUT SOMETHING I KNOW ABOUT MYSELF, even if that is just GOOD HAIR. But I don’t do anything, it JUST ‘IS’ BETTER BY EXISTING, like priests who USE VIRTUE AS ITS OWN REWARD’. That is SPOT ON, but, should you be GIFTED, you should find something YOU ALREADY DO INCORRECTLY, yet already provides the ‘opportunity for this feeling’, AS YOUR GIFT PROVIDES THIS FEELING NATURALLY, its just YOU THE CHILD WHO IS FUCKING IT UP BY PERVERTING IT. Once you have done this, THEN THE NEXT STEP – THE FEELING OF ‘BOTTLE’ – IS SIMPLY A NATURAL PROGRESSION THAT WILL, IN TIME, HAPPEN ALL BY ITSELF.

And then many of you won’t even need my help, as YOUR GIFT WILL HELP YOU with the rest of it, AND YOU THE ANXIOUS CHILD WILL SHRIVEL AND DIE – YOU MAY at some point then HAVE YOUR VERY OWN SINATRA LEVEL ‘MY WAY’ MOMENT, where you look at your old life and LAUGH AT THE BANAL STUPIDITY OF THE POINTLESS EXISTENCE OF A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL, unconsciously clinging on to its anxieties as just SOMETHING TO DO. Indeed, whether you are French or not (its actually a French song), you might want to stick it on next time you are alone and bored, as there does appear to be a little bit of magic in it, that may also work on you NOW, by setting the mental scene of your very own ‘COME BACK’ to the WORLD, against your current desire to HIDE LIKE A BITCH – YOU MAY SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND WHAT TO DO THINGS ‘MY WAY’ actually means, personally, as it may feel like you SITTING ON THE DEATHBED OF OLD YOU…

Then you will understand – SPIRITUALITY IS NOT ABOUT BEING GOOD, that is a childs judgement of a relative and temporary ‘side effect’, IT IS ABOUT ‘BEING BETTER’, and EVERYTHING that STOPS YOU ‘BEING BETTER’ is a ROOTED, for most, IN A FORM OF ‘SELF PITY’ that ‘OLD YOU THE CHILD’ simply does ‘NOT DESERVE’ – you have NO HONOR because you lie all the time. See, MENTAL ANXIETY ITSELF is mainly THE FEELING of SELF PITY, what happens when Inferiority meets Self Pity, that the majority of you have simply lost control of, because you have never GROWN UP. Not all of course, life shows the poor they are worthless at an early age, and the rich, ruling classes tend to have superiority beaten into them, but don’t feel too jealous of them, as they tend to suffer far more from the Anxiety of Comfort itself, via Hedonism, becoming way more extreme and self destructive in the process.

So the reason for this last little side bar is this – the SELF PITY of the middle classes is a ‘PATHETIC MENTAL PATTERN’, and should be cured as a priority by POURING LARGE QUANTITIES OF ‘FELT, GENUINE APPRECIATION’ ON IT, one of those super powerful emotions that works so well when you figure out it is a combination of ACCEPTANCE and GRATITUDE, as you would feel them – it quite literally dissolves your self-pity, much it can take a while. But when your energy weakness is such that the DESPERATION OF SELF-PITY generates almost constant daily anxiety in the moment, crippling your ability to see, think, do anything, THEN YOU MUST FORCE APPRECIATION OF ALL YOU HAVE TO REPLACE THAT, AS A DIFFERENT MINDSTATE – you must re-fetishize your life as a search for MORE APPRIECIATION rather than MORE COMFORT, first…

But THE GOLDEN KEY in doing this, YOU COULD SAY TO THE WHOLE PROCESS OF GETTING STARTED with the FELT DRUG of SUPERIORITY as you new mind-state, is when you come to realize that the SOURCE POINT OF THE FEELING OF BETTER THAN, of ALL ‘FELT SUPERIORITY’ is just a much practiced and believed version of that exact same APPREICIATION, JUST USED ON YOURSELF via YOUR ATTENTION, rather than on what you have = BEST DRUG IN THE WORLD. Just be warned, you will not get this right out of the box, you will feel it wrong, because you will struggle with finding the FEELING of ACCEPTANCE, so try harder – GRATITUDE IS EASY FOR MOST, BUT MANY ARE SO WEAK AND TENSE THAT THEY SIMPLY CANNOT ACCEPT ANYTHING AS ‘MEANT TO BE’, often because they are OLYMPIC level NARRCISISTS, lost in SELF-PITY and ADHD…

So be happy eh, feel a bit more clever now – at least you know why the folks from either very poor or very rich backgrounds find spirituality way easy than you do, as they have done for all ages gone by. JUST REMEMBER YOU MUST FEEL APPRECIATION, you cannot tell yourself you do, you must evoke the feeling, (or get a teacher you have a strong connection too make you feel it) as then you will be able, in time, to use it on anything, EVEN YOU.

Note that many of you will have a strong tendency toward COMPASSION as your HIGHER GIFTED EMOTION OF CHOICE as it is forced on you by visual stimulous rather than by conscious choice, so don’t get confused AS YOU NEVER USE COMPASSION FOR THIS – much as it is also a form of DEVOTION, of directed energy transference, IT IS THE WRONG WAY. As an example ‘I’ have COMPASSION FOR YOU, you APPRECIATE that in order to receive the benefits of it, TO LET IT IN. Compassion weakens you even more and must be avoided at an animal level, which is why the NATURALLY compassionate tend to go mad without help, way before anyone else, UNLESS THEY DEVELOP THEMSELVES.

Be very clear about this last point – COMPASSION FOR THE WRONG PEOPLE IN THE WRONG WAY IS DANGEROUS. In fact, the darker of the animal PARASITES tend to stumble upon the power of getting you to FEEL compassion for them early in life, get you to LISTEN TO THEIR TALE OF WOE, and all relationships with THEM tend to alternate, via the use of the OBLIGATION OF ‘ASSUMED’ AUTHORITY OVER YOU, to either cause you A HIGH LEVEL OF MENTAL SUFFERING or BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS/PITY/HELP, which wears you down whilst making you feel in some sad little way SPECIAL.

But its all fake, all just a series of devices that they are using on you to drain the little life you have left FOR THIER BENEFIT, whilst laughing at you, even encouraging you to find new victims for them. These people are a cancer in your life, AND THEY WILL NEVER STOP UNLESS YOU STOP THEM, always check as the WORST tend to have a history of suicides in people they ‘used to know’, so make sure the next one is not YOU – COMPASSION CAN BE DEADLY, SO ALWAYS REJECT THE AUTHORITY OF PARASITES, FAST. If you don’t, YOU WILL HAVE TO BECOME LIKE THEM, in order to survive them, directly against your Gift SO YOU BECOME MENTALLY ILL – as a teacher you learn early to only ever use COMPASSION ON THOSE WHO DON’T WANT IT, as they need it the most. 

HARDEN YOUR HEART AND KEEP YOUR QUALITY FOR YOUR OWN KIND, SO YOU GET BACK MORE THAN YOU GIVE, LEARN TO BE VICIOUS SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY BE NICE WHEN YOU CHOOSE – IF YOU CAN’T BE VICIOUS THEN YOU ‘HAVE’ TO BE NICE, DON’T YOU, SO ITS JUST BEING ‘CRAVEN’, WEAK = A WHORE. Just stop thinkin you need to be physically OR VERBALLY violent to be VICIOUS – YOU DON’T, YOU START BY JUST IGNORING SHIT YOU DON’T LIKE OR WANT, and then when you get a bit more confident YOU START TO LAUGH AT PEOPLE, SITUATIONS INSTEAD OF ‘GO ALONG WITH IT’, then USE THAT TO SAY ‘NO THANKS – I’M GOOD’. In this way you will have a way into what this post is about – ‘BOTTLE’, which in time will become PERSONAL HONOR, A SENSE OF SELF. 

So just walk away – one of the nastiest tricks you the kid ever plays on you is to keep you TRAPPED IN A WORLD OF SMALL WORRIES, that will either never happen or NEED TO HAPPEN FOR YOUR GROWTH. THE WORLD IS FULL OF DISTURBED LITTLE CLEVER DICKHEADS, but when you know how to look they are easy to avoid or destroy, SO STICK TO APPRECIATION WHILST YOU LEARN HOW TO BE GIFTED, AND REJECT ALL USE OF COMPASSION, UNLESS IT IS YOUR OWN PRE-TEEN CHILDREN or A CAT (Sorry, but that is just too long a story for this post, just know that those medieval witches were right…).

Don’t get me wrong, COMPASSION IS A MASTER SPIRITUAL SKILL, ITS GREAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF IT, just don’t let you the child USE IT AGAINST YOU – IT IS NOT AN END IT ITSELF, IT IS ‘A PROCESS’ – DO NOT USE IT TO DESTROY YOURSELF. YOU ARE ALL YOU HAVE, MIND YOURSELF FIRST, LAST AND FOREMOST, YOU WILL BE DEAD SOON AND MOST OF YOU WILL EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ‘ALIVE’. LET SHIT HAPPEN AND DEAL WITH IT, most of it is GOOD FOR YOU, but if you remain scared of your own shadow YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ‘THE CONSEQUENCE’ YOU NEED IN THIS LIFE TO ESCAPE SLAVERY, SUBSERVIENCE TO COMPLETE AND UTTER TOOLS YOU HAVE BEEN DUMB ENOUGH TO PLACE OVER YOU – FIND A BETTER AUTHORITY, ‘YOUR ELITISM’.

This is ‘HOW TO BE GIFTED’, 101 – BE RUTHLESS OR BE NOTHING, YOU ARE SCARED OF YOUR ‘OWN SHADOW’, YOU THE CHILD LURKING IN THE BACK OF YOU MIND, YET IT IS SIMPLY A SET OF LEARNED PATTERNS THAN NEVER WORKED AS A KID, AND THAT SURE AS HELL ARE NOT GOING TO WORK AS AN ADULT. If it helps at all then learn from the French Woman mentioned above – SAY, ‘WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF SHIT HAPPENS’, then look at that and caveat it away, PUT A PLAN IN PLACE FIRST to minimize its effect on you, DON’T TRY AND STOP IT HAPPENING – FACE IT, THEN YOU WILL GET MORE CONFIDENT, FAST. YOU MAY EVEN START TO ‘GO LOOKING FOR THE SHIT’, instead of looking for more ways to COMFORT YOURSELF BY PLEASING LITTLE FREAKS.

Good to go now? Great – so you SHOULD NOW KNOW THIS FOR CERTAIN, EH, SO DO YOU REMEMBER YET?

YOU HAVE THE UNCONSCIOUS, UNWANTED, UNHELPFUL ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ OF A CHILD

INFERIORITY IS ANXIETY, SO YOU MUST REJECT ‘COMFORTING ANXIETY’ BY REPLACING ANXIETY

YOU MUST REPLACE RELIEVING ANXIETY WITH THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM, OF ‘YOUR SUPERIORITY’

SO YOU MUST USE THE COMFORT OF THE FELT APPRECIATION OF WHAT IS ‘BEST IN YOU’ TO START

USING THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM WILL MAKE YOU MORE ELITIST, AND SO MUCH LESS ANXIOUS

THEN YOU CAN MOVE ON TO ‘BOTTLE’, OF THE FELT ‘CONSTANT SUPERIORITY TO THIS MOMENT’

SEE TO GROW UP YOU NEED TO SEE ‘YOU THE CHILD’ AS THE ‘MOMENT OF ANXIETY’, THEN KILL IT

OR IT WILL TORTURE YOU TO DEATH, ONE FAILURE, ONE HUMILIATION, ONE RELIEF AT A TIME  

So start now, pick some easy ‘fear of the future’ anxiety, some low level persistent thing like the childish dread on Sunday evening of going back to work on Monday, as it is much easier to notice, before moving on to more urgent, momentary stuff that is easier to miss before the reaction kicks in and you have lost it. Then ‘Let it Go’ in the moment by pouring some pre-practised level of Appreciation on it ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, first for the BETTER THAN of what is around you, your stuff, then how you look, BEFORE MOVING ON TO WHAT IS BETTER IN YOU COMPARED TO OTHERS, ABOUT YOURSELF, PERSONALLY. In this way you will understand what to BECOME ‘BIGGER THAN’ YOUR ANXIETIES FEELS LIKE, BETTER THAN = BIGGER THAN THE ANXIETY IN THE MOMENT, SO ITS SEEMS MUCH SMALLER…

 Just know that the first real milestone in doing this is when you understand what what ‘Letting Go’ of the need to ‘react to the anxiety now’ feels like, as then you will understand what to DISOWN YOUR REACTIONS AS UNIMPORTANT FEELS LIKE, whether you need to defend or attack something, someone, yourself for no reason other than YOUR OWN OPINION, which does not exist, it is simply a pattern reaction to DEFEND THE EGO OF A CHILD – this is how YOU SHUT ‘YOUR CHILDISH MIND’ UP, the first big step. You will then start to latch on to LOOKIN DOWN ON YOURSELF from a different part of CONSCIOUS YOU, as you now realize that your mind and your consciousness are completely separate, and that your out of control mindset of a child churns out endless PATTERNS OF OUT OF DATE BOLLOCKS.

The issue everyone has at the start is getting past feeling strong in your impulsive, childish reaction of ego defense AS A COMFORT FOR ANXIETY, BUT WHICH IS INCREDIBLY WEAK/PASSIVE, against feeling weak BY GOING AGAINST YOUR IMPULSE AND NOT ACTING OUT YOUR CHILDISH REACTION OF EGO DEFENSE, USING THE COMFORT OF ELITISM/APPRECIATION INSTEAD, WHICH IS INCREDIBLY STRONG/ACTIVE. The need to let go of CHILDISH EGO strength in order to actually GET STRONGER, BECOME BIGGER, SUPERIOR IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST BIT, and many animals can simply never do it, BUT ALL GIFTED CAN – THEY CAN USE THEIR WILLFUL SPIRIT AGAINST THEMSELVES, WHEN THEY REALIZE THEIR THOUGHTS ARE NOT ‘A YOU’, ITS A MEMORY MACHINE CHURNING OUT REACTIVE CRAP FROM LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY…

Learn ELITISM FAST, THE COMFORT OF IT as replacement therapy for the EMPTY, FAKE comforts of anxiety, aka instead of relieving anxiety with the pattern reactions of a child, CONSCIOUS YOU OVERPOWERS them – once you have learnt this stuff YOU WILL NEVER EVER GO BACK TO BEING A HARMLESS LITTLE KID, BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BEFORE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE CONSISTED OF DOUBLING UP ON THE ANXIETY OF A CHILD. There is simply no point in Yoga, in Self Help, in all the faux spiritual wokeness of the internet UNTIL YOU LEARN TO GROW UP – YOU ARE THEM, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING MORE THAN A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO POWER TO SEE YOURSELF, NO MEANINGFUL LEVEL OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS.

TO END – A WARNING:

ALL YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS ARE BASED ON YOU BEING A CHILD, SO EXPECT THEM TO CHANGE WHEN YOU CHANGE…  

BUT NOBODY AROUND YOU CURRENTLY WILL WANT YOU TO GROW UP, THEY WANT YOU TO GET WORSE, SO THEY FEEL BETTER

EVERYBODY YOU KNOW NEEDS TO KEEP YOU THE WAY YOU ARE FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, AKA YOUR SUFFERING

THEY WILL BE JEALOUS IF YOU ‘IMPROVE’, THEIR OWN SELF IMAGE OF WILL BE THREATENED, THEY BECOME ‘UNEASY’

SO YOU MUST QUIETLY SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU TO MAKE GROWING UP EASY

OTHERWISE YOU WILL LISTEN TO THEIR SELF SERVING BULLSHIT, AND THEY WILL STOP YOU, HARD… SEE GROWING UP IS ‘FIGHT CLUB’, AND YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB TO ANIMALS, YOU DENY IT – SEE THERE IS NO NEED TO BE HONEST WITH ANIMALS, THEY WILL JUST USE IT AGAINST YOU, SO LIE. SEE CONSCIOUS LYING IS ONE OF THOSE GREAT LITTLE TRICKS THAT MAKES YOU MORE SELF CONSCIOUS, AND YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHY THAT IS – ALL YOUR DAY TO DAY RELATIONSHIPS SUPPORT SOME PART OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’, THEY HELP MAINTAIN IT VIA YOUR PROJECTION OF IT ONTO THEM. CONSCIOUS LYING ALLOWS YOU TO PLAY A NEW ROLE IN THE MOMENT THAT IS DIFFERENT TO WHAT YOU WOULD NORMALLY DO, BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU SAY MATCHING UP TO THAT ROLE, SO IT IS NOT INSTINCTIVE SPEECH – YOU HAVE TO BE SELF CONSCIOUS TO DO IT…

LEARNING TO PLAY A CONSISTENT ROLE WILL HELP YOU FIGHT YOU THE CHILD IN THE MOMENT, DEFEAT ITS ATTEMPTS TO STOP YOU CHANGING.

SEE, YOU EITHER PLAY THE ‘NEW ROLE’ OR YOU ACT OUT YOUR ‘NORMAL THOUGHTS’, SO IT VERY EASY TO SEE YOU THE KID ATTACK THAT ROLE.

THE TRICK IS NOT TO GIVE IN TO ‘STOPPING THE ROLE PLAY’ AND GO BACK TO BEING A KID VIA IT/THEM ‘INSISTING’ = CONSISTENCY.

PLAYING A ROLE, EVEN BADLY, BUILDS THE POWER OF CONSCIOUS YOU ‘TO ACT’ AGAINST IT/THEM, ALL 4TH WAYERS DO IT HARD.

THEN YOU SEE THAT ‘YOU THE KID’ IS JUST AN OLD ROLE, AND YOUR NEW ‘BETTER THAN’ ROLE BECOMES ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’.

IF YOU CAN GET GOOD AT THIS PROCESS, YOU WILL QUICKLY UNDERSTAND THAT ‘ALL THE WORLD IS A STAGE..’

AND THEN YOU GET MUCH SMARTER, BECAUSE YOU WILL START TO ‘SEE’ THE ‘TRUTH’, AS IT HAPPENS…

PLAYING A CONSCIOUS ROLE IS OFTEN ‘THE’ SUBSTANTIVE MECHANISM OF CHANGE FOR MODERN PEOPLE – ITS BUILDS THE POWER OF CONSCIOUS YOU TO OVERPOWER UNCONSCIOUS YOU THE KID. JUST DON’T CONCEPTUALIZE THIS TO YOURSELF AS ‘FAKING IT UNTL YOU MAKE IT’ – YOU ARE ALREADY TOTALLY FAKE, YOU ARE ‘NOT AUTHENTIC’, YOU THE KID IS JUST A COLLECTION OF FALSE INSTINCTS BURNT IN WHEN YOU WERE A KID. BUT YOU MUST COMMIT TO THIS NEW ROLE OF BETTER THAN IN YOU, NOT JUST WEAR IT LIKE A WORK ROLE, JOB ROLE, PARTNERSHIP ROLE, THIS ROLE IS WHO YOU WANT TO REPLACE ‘YOU THE POINTLESS LITTLE KID’ WITH, IT IS CHANGE ITSELF, AND THE POWER TO DO IT USUALLY COMES FROM USING THIS ROLE TO CHANGE YOUR EXTERNAL RELATIONSHIPS, THE WORST ONES THAT OBVIOUSLY ‘HURT YOU’ BUT WHICH YOU THE KID USES TO MAINTAIN ITSELF… 

SEE HOWEVER MUCH YOU TRY AND CHANGE, YOU THE CHILD WILL USE THESE RELATIONSHIPS, THEIR ROLE IN ITS EXISTENCE TO FIGHT BACK AND STOP YOU IN MULTIPLE WAYS ASSOCIATED WITH HOW THE GROUPS OF CHILDISH PATTERNS, OF ALL YOU TEMPORARY LIKES AND DISLIKES ARE SET UP AS DIFFERENT LITTLE PERSONALITIES. THESE GROUPS COME AND GO THROUGHOUT THE DAY, THEY CYCLE THROUGH CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS AS THEY ARE TRIGGERED BY EVENTS, WHICH IS WHY ‘YOU THE BIG KID CANNOT BE CONSISTENT’. SEE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF BIG KID YOU ARE NOT ‘I’, YOU ARE ‘WE’, AND MOST OF THOSE ‘WEs’ DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE, SO WILL ‘CALL FOR EXTERNAL HELP’ TO STOP YOU…

YES, YOUR MULTIPLE ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOUs’ WILL STOP ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ FROM CHANGING BY ATTACKING IT BOTH INTERNALLY, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY EXTERNALLY BY CALLING FOR HELP IN WAYS THAT YOU DON’T EVEN SEE YOU ARE DOING, WHICH IS WHAT I CALL SELF SABOTAGE. YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME EVEN IN DAILY LIFE AND CANNOT STOP ‘THE WEs’ YET, BUT YOU CAN STOP ‘THEM’ INTERFERRING WITH CHANGE – YOU CAN CUT THEM OUT, LIE TO THEM, DISAPPEAR FROM THAT PART OF YOUR OLD LIFE AS POLICY IF THEY EVEN REMOTELY THREATEN YOUR CHANGE. DON’T FEEL BAD, MOST OF IT IS ALREADY TOXIC, THEY ARE PART OF YOUR FALSE PERSONALITY OF NO CHARACTER, SO WILL GO ANYWAY WHEN YOU GET ‘BETTER THAN’…

THE TRICK OF COURSE IS TO HAVE A DOMINANT SENSE OF SELF AS ‘THE ROLE’, AN ‘I’, ALWAYS ACTIVE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND THAT CAN CATCH ALL THOSE LITTLE ‘WEs’ IN OTHER PEOPLE, SEE SOME ASPECT OF YOU THE KID IN THEM, THEIR ROLE IN YOUR LIFE, AND STOP THEM WHEN THEY TRY AND STOP YOU CHANGING – TO LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOUR OLD SELF IN ITS ATTEMPTS TO SABOTAGE YOU, AT THOSE OLD THOUGHT PATTERNS, INSTEAD OF GIVE INTO THEM. IT IS MUCH EASIER AT THE START TO SEE THAT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, THE ONES THAT ARE THE MOST PARASITIC AND DESTRUCTIVE, AND THEN LOOK AT THAT GROUP OF PATTERNS IN YOURSELF AND SEE IT CLEAR – THE WORST OF THEM IS ALWAYS ASSOCIATED WITH YOUR CHOSEN FORM OF COMFORT, AND YOU CAN REPLACE COMFORT NOW, CAN’T YOU..?    

ALL ASPECTS OF CHANGE, ANY CHANGE, ONLY WORK IF DON’T TELL OTHER PEOPLE WHAT YOU ARE DOING

GIFTED FOLKS HAVE TO LEARN TO NEVER REPEAT, NEVER EXPLAIN, NEVER APOLOGIZE/COMPLAIN TO OTHERS AS POLICY

SO DON’T TURN IMPORTANT THINGS INTO FRIVOLOUS ‘CONVERSATIONS’, IT IS THE DEATH OF THEM AND YOU

REMEMBER THIS, AS IT IS WHY THE MAJORITY OF YOU WILL FAIL – YOU TALK TO ANIMALS WAY TO MUCH…

This is the beginning of what folks like me call BIG PICTURE THINKING – to suffer the denial of your momentary reactions to get something MUCH BIGGER you have already decided you want later, WITHOUT THE USE OF FEAR. This works initially by simply HAVING THE BIG PICTURE of wanting BIG PICTURE THINKING, LATER, to develop the power you need to make this type of thinking work for you in the moment – YOU MUST PUSH YOURSELF TO PRACTICE, AS PUSHING YOURSELF EXPANDS YOUR ENERGY SYSTEM, AS THIS STUFF TAKES A LOT OF ENERGY, A LOT OF FOCUS.

Its not ROCKET SCIENCE, but just in case you don’t have ANY GOALS AT ALL, (if you are that big a kid all ‘your goals are momentary comforts’), THEN try this exercise – in 10 years your life will be OVER, even though still alive the vast majority of your options, your energy WILL BE GONE, SO THINK about what YOU WANT ‘personally’ 10 years from now, and then WHO YOU WILL NEED TO BE to achieve that, as a character. We call this HAVING ‘A POINT’, but for GIFTED it must always start with BEING FREE OF OBLIGATION, OF THE NEED TO WORK, to escape your slave society and consumer capitalism, both of which are forms of evil – YOU MUST BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN YOURSELF WITHOUT BEING DEPENDENT ON WORK, EVEN IF YOU ARE STILL DEPENDENT ON A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP, YOU MUST ‘BE FREE TO DO AS YOUR WISH’.

If these are not your goals now THEN THEY FUCKING SHOULD BE – BURN THEM INTO YOUR MIND, THINK ABOUT THEM, YOU ONLY HAVE AN OCCUPATION YOU ENJOY, NOT AS A SLAVE, YOUR GOAL IN THIS LIFE IS TO BE ‘FREE TO LIVE IT’. Many thousands of folk on this planet achieve this goal EVERYDAY, so you can to – GET USED TO GOAL BASED THINKING, ABOUT DECIDING WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF THIS MOMENT INSTEAD OF REACTING TO IT LIKE A KID. Goals are a key part of CONTROLLING YOU THE CHILD IN THE MOMENT, and as such are a key part of the ‘CHARACTER ATTITUDE’ OF AN ADULT.

Most IMPORTANTLY, know that no matter what else that character YOU WILL NEED contains, IT WILL ALWAYS CONTAIN, FOR CERTAIN, TWO NEW TRAITS YOU CURRENTLY LACK – CONFIDENCE and RUTHLESSNESS, otherwise you will have no ability to deliver on ANY goal at all, except momentary comfort. YOU MUST START TO ‘STACK’ THESE NEW ATTTITUDES TOGETHER, GET THEM TO WORK TOGETHER, they will be your new ‘approach to life’ – AN ACTUAL CHARACTER THAT REASONS IN THE MOMENT, instead of just being an empty mess of reactive patterns you learnt in childhood, LIKE NOW.

To end this note, DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR, NOW – FORGIVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU START TO CHANGE, AS IT WILL HELP YOU ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG ALL ALONG. Nobody really gives a fuck anyway, so what does making a total mess of your life really matter – IT WAS YOUR UNCONSCIOUS ‘WEs’ THAT FUCKED UP YOUR LIFE, NOT YOU, DISOWN THEM NOW, DISOWN THE MOMENTARY NEEDS OF YOUR EGOIC PATTERNS AS JUST MEMORIES OF AN IMPERFECT PAST. CHOOSE TO PLAY A BETTER THAN ROLE, SO ONE DAY YOU CAN FIND OUT WHO THE FUCK YOU ACTUALLY ARE, BECAUSE YOU REALIZE YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BE THAT PERSON, ‘REAL YOU’, AS IF BY ‘MAGIC’, now you have got rid of all this other COPING CRAP that was in the way…

Think of it like this – ALL GIFTED HAVE INHERITED AN AMAZING ‘HOUSE’, like some cliff side Villa on the Amalfi coast, full of gorgeous views, multiple levels of grand rooms, secret staircases down to the sea and up to the top of the mountain. No matter how long you live their you would never get used to how MAGICAL IT IS, that feeling of SPECIAL, OF NEW, OF UNIQUE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, SO YOU WANT TO SPEND MOST OF LIFE JUST EXPEREINCING IT, AS IT NEVER GETS ‘OLD’. That house is YOU, YOUR BIRTHRIGHT, WHERE YOU WERE BORN TO LIVE, but no one ever told you that, AS YOU THINK YOU ARE NORMAL…

See You the Child is chained up in THAT NORMAL, a dark, damp BASEMENT at the bottom of that house, unaware the rest of it is even there, so lost and alone that you cannot even see the walls, let the open doorway up behind you. All you have ever had for company is rats and spiders, who live in that basement in order to survive, that is all they can do, so you have had to make friends with some of them to stop going mad, AS YOU ARE STUCK THERE WITH ‘THEM’. But NOW YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THAT BASEMENT so THEY BEG/THREATEN YOU TO STAY, TO STAY BEING A CAPTIVE FOR ‘THIER SAKES’, AND STAYING WITH THEM ‘COMFORTS YOU’, makes you think you can go on coping with that existence AS IT FEELS SAFE. As the classic movie line goes, THEY need to realize that ‘YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED IN THERE WITH THEM, THEY ARE TRAPPED IN THEIR WITH YOU’, cause YOU ARE THE BOSS, and can leave anytime you like…

So don’t be surprised if you have to step on a few of them when you GET UP TO LEAVE, as YOU CANNOT TAKE THEM WITH YOU – don’t make the mistake of deciding to STAY FOR THEM, as YOU GET NOTHING OUT OF IT, as you will see when you get to the foot of the stairs leading upwards, when you start to SEE WHAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO IN THIS WORLD. So many Gifted choose the Comfort of Parasites AS A LIFE in this world, and in all truth we here on the 4th way understand that need, HENCE WHY I HAVE WRITTEN THIS POST TO BEAT THAT SHIT OUT OF YOU – LEARN WHO YOU ARE OR ACCEPT BEING FOOD FOR THE PARASITES that YOU THE CHILD HAS CREATED AS A LIFE.

Its your choice, but know its only an easy one when you ‘look back’, SO PLAY THE GIFTED ROLE, and START LOOKING BACK, NOW – THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ‘RUTHLESS’, TO LOOK BACK AT NOW AS IF YOU ARE ALREADY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE, and so do what you would do then, RIGHT NOW. IGNORE THE FAKE REALITY OF YOU THE CHILD, of the ‘need to react in the moment’, its a delusion, some old opinions you copied off others long ago in order to fit in, that YOU NO LONGER NEED TO ACCEPT IN ORDER TO COMFORT YOURSELF THAT YOU ‘FIT IN’, because now you KNOW, so you really don’t want to fit in anymore…

UNLESS YOU LEARN TO LOOK BACK FROM ‘ALREADY CHANGED’, YOU WILL ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD FROM THE ‘NEED TO CHANGE’.

SEE YOU MUST NORMALISE THE CHANGE BEFORE YOU HAVE MADE IT, OTHERWISE YOU JUST NORMALISE ‘TRYING TO CHANGE’ = NO CHANGE.

TRYING TO CHANGE QUICKLY BECOMES A HABIT, A COMFORT, WHICH TURNS INTO THE ANXIETY OF REGRETTING THE FAILURE TO CHANGE, AGAIN.

SOME GIFTED FOLKS PEOPLE SPEND THE WHOLE 2ND HALF OF THIER LIVES ‘DECLINING INTO REGRET’, THE COMFORT OF ‘WANTING TO CHANGE’.

SO LEARN TO BE RUTHLESS, TO ‘LOOK BACK’ FROM A POSITION OF CHANGED, AND NORMALIZE IT, ACT IT OUT EVERYDAY OUT OF HABIT.

ASK YOURSELF RIGHT NOW – WHAT WOULD ‘I’ DO/WANT/FEEL/WEAR/BE RIGHT FUCKING NOW, GIVEN I HAD ALREADY CHANGED.

THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT PLAYING A BETTER THAN ROLE IS, BECAUSE YOU WILL LEARN BY ‘NEEDING TO DO IT’.

BUT FIRST YOU MUST MAKE THAT MENTAL JUMP ACROSS THE CHASM, AND TRY TO HANG ONTO THE OTHER ‘LEDGE’.

YOU MUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE CHANGED NOW, AND REMOVE EVERYTHING THAT TRIES TO DRAG YOU BACK.

YOU MUST DO IT BECAUSE ITS MORE FUN TO BE THAT THAN OLD YOU THE CHILD EVER WAS, NOT LESS…

YOU MUST FEEL THE ‘WIN OF CHANGE’, AND THE ‘SHAME OF NOT CHANGING’, IN ‘THE NOW’ OTHERWISE YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO TRY HARD ENOUGH TO DO IT, AND REGRET WILL BECOME THE ‘MORAL COMFORT’ FOR YET ANOTHER POINTLESS ‘ANXIETY’ – YOU ARE ‘GOOD’, YET YOU ACTUALLY GET WORSE.

SO YOU MUST BECOME ELITIST, YOU ‘MUST APPRECIATE’ YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’ AS THAT WIN.

BUT NOT BECAUSE IT IS GOOD, MORAL, DECENT, BUT BECAUSE ITS MORE FUN.

THIS IS HOW A CHILD WORKS, CHANGE MUST BE FUN, SO YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’ MUST BE FUN.

THEN YOU WILL SEE THAT WE TREAD THIS PATH FOR THE PURE THRILL OF IT, THE BEST DRUG IN THE WORLD.

BUT YOU LIVE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO COPE WITH PERSISTENT, LOW LEVEL TERROR, getting RELIEF via DISTRACTION.

So GIVEN THE CHOICE, WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER BE, EH – US OR THEM? So make the jump mentally – STOP COPING WITH YOUR CHILDLIKE MINDSET, STOP COPING WITH ‘ENERGY WEAKNESS’, STOP COPING WITH ‘YOUR ADHD’, AND ‘CHANGE IT’ INSTEAD.

DECIDE YOU WANT TO DISOWN YOUR OLD REACTIONS AND BE ‘BETTER THAN’ THAT, know that OVERTHINKING is an ADHD RESPONSE, EMOTIONAL EXHAUSTION is an ADHD RESPONSE, MENTAL FOG is an ADHD RESPONSE, ATTENION SEEKING is an ADHD RESPONSE, HYPERAGGRESSION is an ADHD RESPONSE, HYPERSEXUALITY-SEXUAL OBSSESSION IS an ADHD RESPONSE. NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE ‘YOU’, you are simply SUFFERING FROM THEM, so DECIDE TO ‘STOP SUFFERING’ FROM ‘THEM’, to STOP SUFFERING FROM ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IN ALL ITS FORMS. YOU THE CHILD IS A FORM OF ENCHANTMENT, LIKE A SPELL HAS BEEN CAST ON YOU AS A KID, so SEE IT THAT WAY, see that IT IS A FALSE, UNREAL STATE OF MIND, ITS TOTALLY UN-NATURAL – YOU ARE STUCK IN A ‘WITCHES GLAMOUR’, SO YOU MUST BREAK THAT ‘SPELL OVER YOU’, IN ALL ITS FORMS…

MAKE THE MENTAL JUMP TO ‘WANT TO CHANGE’ ‘WHO YOU ARE’ AS ‘HOW YOU REACT’, SO YOU CAN FINALLY ‘GROW UP’ – YOU THE CHILD GOES STALE IN LATER LIFE, GOES ROTTEN, GOES OFF, BECAUSE IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE THERE, CONTROLLING YOU. But ONCE YOU BECOME DIS-SATISFIED WITH YOUR REACTIONS, YOU WILL FIND THE NEED TO CHANGE IS ON-YOUR-MIND ALL THE TIME, so BEING RUTHLESS WILL START TO COME NATURALLY, INDEED IT WILL START TO BE ‘FUN’ – DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE STUCK IN THE MOOD SWINGS OF A LONELY 13 Y/O GIRL FOREVER?

SO STOP COPING LIKE A CHILD, AND START CHANGING LIKE AN ADULT – YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT ‘YOUR APPRECIATION’ OF YOUR BETTER THAN ‘DOES’ – IT ‘BREAKS THE SPELL’ OF YOUR ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’, and then YOU ARE ‘FREE’ TO BE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO BE. STOP BEING A STATISTIC, STOP BEING PART OF THE HERD, STOP BEING CANNON FODDER, AND BE ‘YOURSELF’, AN INDIVIDUAL, THE ‘GIFTED QUALITY THAT IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT’, INSTEAD – IT IS WAITING FOR YOU TO ‘SHOW UP’…

Still not enough..? Ahhhh – YOU NEED A ‘PERSONAL DIAGNOSIS’, you need to know what is ‘wrong with you’, so you can be defined by it, build a life around over coming some personal battle, make it all ‘ok’? So know, YOU THINK, FEEL, ACT LIKE A CHILD, that is WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU – YOU HAVE ‘UNRESOLVED’ TRAUMA, and however ACUTE, CHRONIC, or COMPLEX that CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ‘WAS’, IT IS YOUR REACTION TO IT THAT HAS DEFINED YOUR CHARACTER OF NO CHARACTER AS A SET OF ‘DOMINANT PATTERNS’. These PATTERNS HAVE NO POINT, they are a set of ways YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF TO REACT IN ORDER TO ‘COPE WITH THAT TRAUMA’, but now they are just a ‘hangover’ from a time long since passed, AS YOU STILL ‘USE THEM’, SO YOU STILL LIVE IN YOUR CHILDHOOD. See that TRAUMA DOES NOT MATTER, it is YOUR RESPONSE TO THAT TRAUMA THAT MATTERS, WHICH YOU STILL ACT OUT BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE UNRESOLVED’, still a big kid – YOU CAN’T SEE IT AS IT HAPPENS.

So SEE IT, see that there is no VALUE in those patterns NOW, there were produced by the reasoning of a child to DEFEND ITSELF FROM AN EMOTIONAL CRISIS THE BEST IT COULD AT THAT TIME. There is no reasoning BEHIND THEM, no rational process of thought that considers the situation and decides, THEY ARE IN NO WAY ANY BLOODY THING TO DO WITH THINKING. The key issue is that these PATTERNS FIX IN YOUR MOOD AUTOMATICALLY, which OVERWHELMS YOU IN THE MOMENT, particuarly if you have the ‘STIFF SHOULDER ISSUE’, (to ‘hunch up’ your body against expected emotional pain), so common in young girls. THIS FIXES YOUR INFERIRORITY COMPLEX IN PLACE, acts as an ‘anchor’ for it, SO YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY ‘FEEL WORTHLESS’ ALL THE TIME, THAT YOU HAVE ‘NO VALUE’, ‘NO RIGHT TO BE HAPPY’ AND JUST HAVE TO SUCK IT UP, so you become passive, lazy, obsessed with any ‘form of relief’.

THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, THIS IS WHAT TO BE A CHILD AS AN ADULT ‘IS’ – TO BE ‘UNRESOLVED’ – DO GET IT NOW?  An Adult is STABLE, ADULT MOODS DON’T SWING WILDLY FROM FROM ONE STUPID THING TO ANOTHER, an adult decides their moods, chooses them actively BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE IN THAT MOOD. But don’t focus on the TRAUMA, most of it was so small that it would seem pathetic now and even if it was a serious accident, attack or rejection, IT IS JUST A MEMORY NOW – it is YOUR PATTERNS OF REACTION TO IT that are AN ‘EVERYDAY’ FEATURE OF YOUR LIFE, that is why YOU HAVE A CHARACTER OF NO CHARACTER, A FAKE CHARACTER OF PATTERNS REACTIONS TO TRAUMA/RELIEF THAT YOU HAVE NOT CHOSEN – THAT IS WHY ‘YOU HAVE TO CHANGE IT’, most of you have no idea WHY YOU ARE LIKE THIS, because YOU are not like this, ‘IT’ IS.

See what happens with unresolved trauma is those DEFENSIVE PATTERNS ‘BECOME UNCONSCIOUS’, they are ‘always on alert’, so they start to look for it and then start to actually MAKE SIMILAR SITUATIONS HAPPEN, where no issues actually exist – THAT IS WHEN IT BECOMES ‘A FAKE CHARACTER TRAIT’. The more emotionally charged it was, the MORE POWERFUL THAT PATTERN BECOMES, GOING ON TO SPORN MULTIPLE ADDITIONAL PATTERNS THAT ALL WORK WITH IT, EMBEDDING IT DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO YOUR ‘FAKE NATURE’. An example – along time ago I had a series of negative and aggressive TRAUMAS HAPPEN TO BE AT A VERY YOUNG AGE, indeed on one occasion I briefly died, much as overall they were not that different to what happened to many kids in the culture I grew up in. In response to that EMOTIONAL PAIN I developed what is best described as a RED MIST TEMPER, which as a quiet, bookish kid before took a lot of effort on my part, BUT WHEN PERFECTED WAS EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE AT STOPPING THOSE NEGATIVE EXPEREINCES, once and for all.

Now, at the start it was ‘my choice’ to use it, to use that temper to defend myself, but that did not last long – within a year that TEMPER HAD BECOME ‘2ND NATURE’ TO ME, AND I NO LONGER CHOSE TO USE IT, IT HAPPENED WHEN IT WAS TRIGGERED. So I no longer used it to defend myself, IT used my temper to attack people where there may or may not be A CHANCE I WOULD BE ATTACKED, indeed I HAD TO USE IT IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS AS IT COMFORTED ME, MADE ME FEEL SAFE. In my mind I became much more successful at ‘my life’ because of this, IT WAS A SUPERPOWER, and I could do stuff I could not do before, LIKE HAVE MY OWN GANG AT SCHOOL rather than be part of someone elses. I felt BETTER THAN BEFORE, because I had never felt safe before, BUT NOW I DID, AND THAT MATTERED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO ME, ‘AT THAT TIME’ – IT WAS A RELIEF FROM ANXIETY, A COMFORT. 

However, slowly but surely it became a HUGE ISSUE FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, as I became increasingly out of control, with many sub-patterns developing like baiting people to see if they we tough, or assaulting tougher folks who did not even know me as they threatened me by being like me. But much worse, those patterns INFECTED EVERY INTERACTION OF MY LIFE, even family, and over time became so automatic that I simply was not aware of being CHALLENGING, AWKWARD, UNPLEASANT ALL THE FUCKING TIME. In short I became a vicious, violent and volatile kid, ‘nasty’ was my 1st choice in all situations, and I LOVED IT. See I HAD ‘NORMALISED’ THOSE PATTERNS AS ‘THE ME’ I WANTED TO BE, but in reality I was a bookish, extremely clever and thoughtful kid who had already figured out at 12 y/o that the way to succeed in life was TO BE SMARTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE, and that the casual violence of the culture I came from was actually suicide – IT WAS A LOTTERY YOU WERE SURE TO LOSE, one day…

Now I’m sorry for the stereotypical nature of this example, plus I have paraphrased and left the worst of it out, but I use it BECAUSE I NEED TO MAKE A BIG POINT ABOUT FALSE PERSONALITY – YOU DO NOT REALIZE YOU HAVE ONE, EVEN IF YOU LOOK FOR IT IN YOUR MEMORY YOU CAN’T FIND IT, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT CONSCIOUS WHEN FAKE YOU IS ‘IN CONTROL’. See, I am not trying to make any woe is me point to justify my exercise in harsh style of teaching, I could easily give 10 other examples of kids I knew who had it much worse than me, indeed to be badly beaten by a gang of older kids from a rival school was not even that uncommon – IT WAS MY OWN RITE OF PASSAGE AND WITH THE HELP OF OTHERS ULTIMATELY WORKED FOR ME, THAT WAS MY TRIGGER TO ‘GROW UP’. See I was lucky, I came from a ‘class system’ where it was clear to me even as a kid that I had to respond ‘actively’ to this trauma because of the ‘level of rank’ I was born into, indeed this type of challenge WAS SO COMMON I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO – learn to fight better than them. 

The real point is THAT I DID NOT REALIZE THAT THE DEFENSIVE PATTERN I HAD ADOPTED HAD NOW INFECTED MY ENTIRE LIFE, I THOUGHT I WAS THE SAME GOOD, CLEVER KID FROM BEFORE WHO HAD JUST LEARNED HOW TO FIGHT, because that is how it felt to me – THE TOTAL BASTARD I HAD BECOME WAS ‘HIDDEN’ FROM ‘CONSCIOUS ME’, AS I WAS NOT CONSCIOUS AT THE TIME OF THOSE PATTERNS ACTING OUT. See all memory requires you to be consciously present to a greater or lesser degree, YOU CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT YOU CHILDISH PATTERNS DO BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THERE when they do IT, SO YOU FORGET YOURSELF, AND LAPSE INTO THE FANTASY OF JUSTIFICATION OF WHY YOU DID IT AFTERWARDS, OR IN BAD CASES YOU ACTUALLY CONSCIOUSLY ‘BACK OUT’, AND HAVE NO MEMORY AT ALL.

Sidebar – if this BLACKOUT is you, and its so common it does not even bother you any more, THEN ‘PANIC’, as its an end stage sign, AND MEANS IT IS FAR WORSE THAN YOU KNOW, so you must use this PANIC as your PAIN POINT, BEFORE ONE DAY YOU WAKE UP DEAD. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE PAIN POINTS IF YOU ARE ALREADY ‘TWISTED/TORTURED’, IE YOU EXHIBIT ONE OF THE MORE EXTREME ADHD RESPONSES LIKE SEX OR VIOLENCE OR BOTH, it is one of the few things that can still reach you, and the ENTIRE STYLE I write THIS IN IS MORE THAN JUST A CASUAL NOD IN THAT DIRECTION – it is meant to SHAME TEST YOU, so hate me if you like, ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING. No need to go all ‘rolling in the deep’ about it – such a waste of energy and usually just a hideout for obsessively jealous parasites anyway – but you do need to understand THAT WITHOUT SOMETHING TO PULL YOU BACK FROM THE EXTREMES YOU HAVE GONE TO CASUALLY YOU ARE ALREADY ‘TOAST’. YOUR SELF DESTRUCTION HAS PASSED ITS EPISODIC START and now happens by itself, without you needing to do anything, SO ‘YOU NEED TO INTERVENE IN YOUR OWN LIFE STYLE’, which you the child sells to you as GLAMOROUS, EXCITING, SECRET, CAUSE YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENING ANYMORE, you the child has blinded you, DESTROYED YOUR MEMORY… 

One of the biggest reasons that MODERN FOLKS LIKE YOU TOTALLY DISMISS THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE A NASTY, CHILDISH FAKE CHARACTER IS THAT THEY CAN’T REMEMBER DOING IT – THEY DON’T SEE THE IMPRESSION THEY ARE GIVING OFF, THEY JUST FEEL THE JUSTIFIED IN THE EGO DEFENSE AND ARE COMFORTED BY FEELING SAFER. THEY DON’T SEE THE ACTION, THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS OR HEAR THIER WORDS, because they can’t REMEMBER THEM. So when an aged relative of mine sat me down and showed me what I was becoming BY LITERALLY RECOUNTING WHAT I HAD JUST DONE AND SAID TO PEOPLE I LOVED IT CAME AS A TOTAL SHOCK TO ME, and combined with the truth – I was becoming a TOTAL LIABILITY TO MY FAMILY – to the point that if I did not get a grip and realize that this was all a reaction to being half killed when I was younger and learn to control it then I would be kicked out of the house. So I learned to control it, and USE IT AS A CONSCIOUS PATTERN ONLY WHEN I WAS CERTAIN I NEED TO, as I still do today, BECAUSE I THEN REALIZED IT IS NOT ME, ITS A MECHCANICAL PATTERN REACTION TO DEAL WITH EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES, and is NOT MY CHARACTER.

In my experience little practical insights like this are very effective at ‘hooking’ folks like you, so I’ll give you a few more in a moment, AS THAT MAY BE THE MOTIVATION YOU NEED IN ONE OR TWO OF THEM. Just KNOW THAT WHEN YOUR MEMORY STARTS TO FAIL YOU ALL THE TIME, that you cannot actually remember much of your day, IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE SPENDING IT IN PATTERN REACTIONS, WHILST YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IS OFF IN SOME FANTASY, OR DAY DREAM OF REALITY THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING. This memory test stuff is so effective in extreme cases, eg most modern people, that many systems beginner stage growing up literally starts with the exercise of lying in bed last thing at night and trying to remember, in reverse your movements and interactions, WHILST MEASURING HOW MUCH OF YOUR DAY YOU CAN’T RECALL AT ALL, so your passed it UNCONSCIOUSLY. Combined with consciously playing a ROLE this stuff can work VERY QUICKLY IF YOU HAVE ANY LEVEL OF GIFT, as you realize what to be consciously asleep means FOR YOU.

So, before you get sensitive enough to how your inferiority complex works in the moment, before you can feel your childish pattern triggers IN ADVANCE OF THE YOUR COMFORTING PATTERN REACTION ACTING OUT, you need some tips to know what is CONSCIOUS THOUGHT and WHAT IS A PATTERN. These need to work in the moment rather than as a memory test later, much as the memory test will show WHERE YOUR PARTICULAR WORSE CASE PATTERNS ARE, so you can pin them down later – SEE THEM COMING BY KNOWING YOU CAN’T REMEMBER THESE SPECIFIC ACTIVITIES BEFORE YOU START. I with give you the classic 3 that the 4th way uses, sadly they will seem ‘moral’ to you so its important to understand that this is not being good, this is ABOUT ENERGY, more to the point your overall lack of energy and desire to waste the little you have on fantasy, RATHER THAN CONSCIOUS THOUGHT. 

Know – Patterns all have specific overall characteristics in the moment, which are all to do with 1 simple fact, PATTERNS ARE FIXED, THEY DON’T CHANGE, THEY CAN ONLY DO WHAT THEY DO, LIKE A SIMPLE HAND CRANKED MACHINE. They are not ‘intelligent’, they are not entities that think logically much as they combine with other patterns in layered ways that make it look like they are thinking, in reality its all A to B to C, in the same sequence, over and over. This is why you think they are character traits, that they are ‘rational’ but they are just a set of mousetraps with simple triggers that then trap your train of thought into a set sequence, before producing the same style of reaction, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T DO ANYTHING NEW.

• Patterns don’t want you to CHANGE, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T CHANGE, so they work very hard to repeat themselves and STOP YOU DOING ANYTHING NEW, but they often fool you by feeling like they want to change, whilst actually keeping you stuck at the stage of ‘just wanting to’, and NEVER ACTUALLY STARTING TO CHANGE – PATTERNS CANNOT ‘TRY’ TO CHANGE, EVER. 
• Patterns are VERY LOW ENERGY BECAUSE THEY CREATE THAT STATE IN YOU, patterns tire you out on purpose, BECAUSE YOU GO ALONG WITH THEM MUCH MORE EASILY, so PATTERNS CAN’T MAKE ‘BETTER THAN’ EFFORTS, patterns want you ‘to go through the motions’, whilst NOT WATCHING THEM, PATTERNS CAN’T TRY HARD, THEY ARE LAZY – PATTERNS SIMPLY CAN’T FOCUS ON TRYING TO DO THINGS ‘BETTER THAN’.
• Patterns are PASSIVE REACTIONS, they wait for something to happen SO YOU GET BORED WAITING, AND GET STUCK IN A SEARCH FOR A COMFORTING DESIRE, Patterns cannot do anything unless they have something to REACT TO, so PATTERNS INVENT DRAMA, FORCE YOU INTO SITUATIONS WHERE THEY CAN CONTROL YOU simply because YOU ARE BORED – PATTERNS WORK IN A SEQUENCE OF FAMILIAR EVENTS, OF CREATING THE SAME THING.
• Patterns are COMFORTING, THEY FEEL SAFE, so outside of your patterns you tend to feel DISCOMFORT, BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT, YOU BECOME SLIGHTLY LOST AND CONFUSED, which forces you back to your patterns, AS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT WITHOUT CONSCIOUSLY FORCING YOURSELF TO THINK ABOUT YOUR SITUATION – PATTERNS USE FEAR TO CONTROL YOU.

So you need to TRY AND MAKE ENERGETIC EFFORTS TO BE BETTER THAN TO CHANGE, whilst rejecting you boredom, your passivity, your laziness, AND ACCEPTING YOUR CONFUSION OF NOT KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. Confusion is one of the first key steps INTO CONSCIOUS THOUGHT, BECAUSE IT IS THE HAPPY ACCEPTANCE OF BEING CONFUSED THAT ACTS AS A KEY GATEWAY INTO CONSCIOUS THOUGHT – A MILESTONE YOU CAN START TO RECOGNIZE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO THINK BETTER THOUGHTS TO ESCAPE CONFUSION, JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON’T GO BACK TO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE BEFORE. Look at thinks differently, you must think NEW THOUGHTS TO THINK CONSCIOUSLY, while looking for the parts of your existing mindstate that are actually prepared to TRY, as they are the farthest from your patterns, SO YOU CAN RELY ON THEM BEING CONSISTENT MORE…

You cannot remove your patterns yet, BUT YOU CAN RECOGNIZE THEM AND CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY IF YOU PLAN THAT IN ADVANCE, you cannot change your pattern reaction sequence at the time UNLESS YOU HAVE ALREADY CREATED A DIFFERENT MENTAL OPTION VIA CONSCIOUS THOUGH BEFORE THAT – SO PLAN YOUR OPTIONS WHEN YOU ARE OVERCOME WITH ROUTINE, LAZINESS, BOREDOM, LOW ENERGY, FORGETFULNESS, CONFUSION, KNOW WHAT THEY ARE IN THE MOMENT OF SEEING THEM INYOURSELF = AN OPPORTUNITTY TO THINK AND SO CHANGE. Starting to see WHY WE TELL YOU TO BE RUTHLESS YET – EVERYTHING ABOVE IS SUMMED UP BY BEING RUTHLESS FOR SAKE OF BEING RUTHLESS WITH YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT IS BETTER THAN YOU PATTERNS…

SO START TO TRY AND THINK FOR YOURSELF BY UNDERSTANDING YOU NEED TO FIGHT YOUR EXISTING CHARACTER OF EMPTY, MECHANICAL PATTERNS, BY SIMPLY LEARNING ‘HOW TO DO THINGS CONSCIOUSLY’. These CHILDISH patterns make you forgetful by definition, THEY ARE NOT UNDER YOUR ‘CONSCIOUS CONTROL’, they are automatic and only act their own interest because they ONLY DO 1 THING, so you must actively step in and decide when and how you use them OR DECIDE TO STOP THEM WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN TRIGGERED. Your RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF IS THE ONLY REAL RELATIONSHIP YOU EVER HAVE, EVERYTHING ELSE IS FILTERED THROUGH IT AND SO IT DEFINES YOUR WHOLE EXISTENCE – BEOME INTERESTED IN YOURSELF, HOW YOU WORK, THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS IS NOT OUT IN THE WORLD, IT IS IN YOURSELF. 

YOU ARE NOT YOUR CHILIDISH PATTERNS, BUT YOU RELY ON YOUR PATTERNS ‘TO CARRY YOUR THOUGHTS’, INSTEAD OF ‘THINKING YOUR THOUGHTS’ – LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PATTERN REACTION AND AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT, LEARN HOW IT FEELS, PUT THE EFFORT INTO SEEING THINGS DIFFFERENTLY. YOUR PATTERNS ALWAYS CATERGORIZE EVERYTHING AS SIMILIAR TO SOMETHING ELSE SO THEN YOU ‘THINK’ YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO ‘FOR THE BEST’, EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T, SO GET COMFY WITH NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO – THE TRUTH IS YOU KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT…

SO START NOW TO CREATE ‘A BALANCE POINT’ IN YOUR MIND THAT IS IMMUNE TO THE COMPULSION OF YOUR PATTERNS, THAT IS OUTSIDE OF THE ‘CHAIN OF THOUGHT’ CREATED BY UNCONSCIOUS MEMORIES, THEN CALL IT YOUR ‘SELF-CONSCIOUS’ AS THE YOU ‘THAT WATCHES YOU’ – IT IS NOT PART OF YOUR MIND, IT USES YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY TO DO WHAT IT WANTS TO DO BY GIVING ‘CONSCIOUS ORDERS’ AS INSTRUCTIONS TO A BUNCH OF PRE-TEEN SCHOOL CHILDREN, SO START TO DO THIS NOW, USING DEFINITE, DIRECT AND FOCUSED SELF-TALK, IT IS ALL YOU THE CHILD WILL UNDERSTAND BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE ITS AUTHORITY’ NOW, NOT THE OTHERWAY ROUND, THE CRAP YOUR YOUR MIND CHURNS OUT IS NOT THE BOSS OF YOU ANYMORE, RIGHT NOW IT IS SIMPLY A HAND CRANKED SAUSAGE MACHINE.

AT THE START USE THAT PART OF YOU WHICH ALWAYS FEELS LIKE THE MOST ELITIST, THE MOST PERFECTIONIST BIT OF YOUR EXISTING PATTERNS TO HIDE IN AND PROTECT YOURSELF, SO START TO VALUE IT MORE THAN ANY OTHER PART OF YOU, IT MAY STILL BE THE PATTERNS OF A CHILD, BUT AT LEAST IT WANTS TO BE BETTER THAN. IT IS A ROLE YOU MUST DECIDE TO PLAY MORE AND MORE, YOU THE ELITIST, SO FIND SOMETHING SIMILIAR IN YOURSELF AND START – USE THIS CONSCIOUS YOU TO CREATE ORDERS AS ‘WORDS IN YOUR MIND’ TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’ IN ORDER TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR MIND. KNOW THIS YOU ‘TAKES NO SHIT’ FROM YOUR MIND IN RESPONSE – DON’T EXPECT AN INTELLIGENT ANSWER FROM PATTERNS OF ‘OPINION’, YOUR PATTERNS ARE DUMB AS FUCK, THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU THINK THEM AS THEY ARE SIMPLY COPIED OPINIONS AS STATEMENTS, MOST OF WHICH DON’T EVEN WORK TOGETHER AS YOU ADOPTED THEM IN ISOLATION, SO ARE JUST A JUMBLE OF CRAP.

AT THE START IT IS FINE TO PRACTICE ON ORDERING YOUR BODY AROUND THIS WAY, AS YOUR SELF CONSCIOUSNESS WILL BE VERY LOW, SO MAKE TIME TO MAKE A POINT OF GIVING DIRECTION TO YOUR BODY FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL IT BECOMES ‘2ND NATURE’ OVERTIME. TO DO THIS YOU MUST ALREADY BELIEVE YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU ARE TELLING YOURSELF TO DO EASILY, ‘IF YOU WANT TO’, BUT LATER YOU WIL DISCOVER THAT HIGHER LEVELS OF SELF CONSCIOUSNESS WILL ALLOW YOU TO DO THINGS YOU DID NOT BELIEVE YOU COULD DO, AND THEN THINGS YOU DID NOT BELIEVE THAT ANYBODY COULD DO. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, ALL GIFTED HAVE THIS ABILITY BUT IT WILL BE VERY RUSTY AS YOU HAVE PROBABLY NEVER USED IT. THE KEY IS TO TAKE NO SHIT BACK FROM YOUR PHYSICAL INSTINCTS OR FALSE INSTINCTS OF YOUR MIND, SO LEARN TO KEY LINE TO ADD TO THE COMMAND END – ‘… NO EXCUSES!’. GET USED TO TAKING NO CRAP FROM YOURSELF, GET USED TO BEING THE BOSS OF YOU, MAKE A POINT OF BEING VERY ‘RIGHT WING’ ABOUT IT, EVEN IF YOU ARE ‘SOFT/FRAGILE’ AS A PERSON  – YOU MUST ‘OWN YOURSELF’ TO ‘CHANGE YOURSELF’.

YOU ARE YOUR ‘LOCAL GOD’ TALKING NOW, SO THIS YOU DOES NOT CARE WHAT YOU ‘USUALLY THINK’ BECAUSE YOUR MIND HAS NO IDEA WHAT YOU NEED TO DO ‘BIG PICTURE’ UNLESS YOU TELL IT, SO JUST WORKS TO PLEASE ITSELF BY ACTING OUT ANCIENT PATTERN REACTIONS AS AND WHEN THE TRIGGERS APPEAR, LIKE A BORED DOG LEFT AT HOME TOO LONG WHO THEN RUNS AROUND THE HOUSE JUST RIPPING SHIT UP TO NO PURPOSE AT ALL. STOP NAVEL GAZING, STOP TRYING TO THINK WITH PATTERNS, ITS POINTLESS, ‘THINK WITH CONSCIOUS ORDERS’ UNTIL YOU HAVE ENOUGH OF A RATIONAL CHARACTER THAT WILL ACTUALLY GIVE YOU DECENT, REASONED, ORIGINAL ANSWERS, NOT JUST THE CIRCULAR, COMFORTING CRAP OF A CHILD, WHO KNOWS FUCKING NOTHING AND SIMPLY DELUDES THEMSELVES WITH ‘OPINION’ AS FACT.

AS THE FIRST PART OF THIS CHANGE, AS THE TRAINING WHEELS FOR THE REST OF IT, GET USED TO RELATING TO YOURSELF IN A SELF CONSCIOUS WAY, THAT YOU ARE NOT ONLY NOT YOUR BODY, YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS OR YOUR FEELINGS EITHER, THEY ARE SEPARATE TO YOU, AS YOU IS JUST YOUR SELF CONSCIOUSNESS. YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN OF A COMPLEX SHIP YOU HAVE MADE A GOOD JOB OF FUCKING UP OR IGNORING, SO YOU HAVE TO FIX THAT SHIP BY TAKING CONTROL OF IT. SO USE THE SELF CONSCIOUS TRICK OF STOPPING THINKING AND START DOING INSTEAD BY ‘GIVING YOUR MIND ORDERS’ ALL THE BLOODY TIME, DECIDING YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT – YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE OPINIONS OF A CHILD…

SO STOP COMFORTING YOURSELF FOR BEING SHIT, AND START ‘NOT BEING SHIT’… THESE ARE THE BASICS OF BEING GIFTED, SPIRITED, LEARN THEM AND THEN USE THEM TO GROW THE FUCK UP – GET YOUR ENERGY UP ENOUGH TO PLAY THE CONSCIOUS ROLE OF YOU THE GIFTED ‘ELITIST’ AS A FORCED ‘MODE CHANGE’. KNOW THAT ALL ROLES WORK BEST BY A STRONG FOCUS ON MANAGING ‘THE IMPRESSION YOU GIVE OFF’, THAT IS WHERE THE OTHER ROLES YOU HAVE CAME FROM, JOB ROLE, RELATIONSHIP ROLE, PARENTAL ROLE, AS YOU WERE NERVOUSLY SELF CONSCIOUS ENOUGH ONCE UPON A TIME TO BURN THAT ROLE IN. ROLES ARE NOT ESCAPIST FANTASIES WHERE YOU PRETEND TO BE SOME ONE ELSE LIKE A TWAT, ROLES ARE A BETTER VERSION OF YOU IN THE NOW YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO USE TO GET BY IN THIS SITUATION – FANTASIZE ABOUT THAT PERSON, NOT THE SHIT YOU WATCH ON SCREENS, YOU ARE THE HERO OF THIS STORY, NOT TAYLOR BLOODY SWIFT.

SO LOOK FOR THE ELITIST IN YOURSELF NOW OR IN YOUR PAST, THE STUFF YOU REMEMBER THAT WAS ‘BETTER THAN’ BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE BETTER THAN IN SOME WAY, WHICH YOU REMEMBER VERY CLEARLY, AND LATCH ON TO IT. CREATE THAT PERSON AS A ROLE, AS A MODE CHANGE, LIKE YOU ARE WALKING INTO JOB WHERE YOU HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT FROM HOW YOU ARE ‘AT HOME’, AS THE FUCKED UP LITTLE MESS YOU STILL THINK IS YOU. THEN PLAY THAT ROLE, ACT IT OUT, ‘LOOK BACK FROM IT’ AND DECIDE WHAT IT WOULD DO SELF CONSCIOUSLY, THEN DO IT. THEN YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO BE RUTHLESS, INDEED IN TIME YOU WILL WONDER WHY YOU EVER FUCKING BOTHERED BEING ANYTHING ELSE, AS ‘RUTHLESS IS NORMAL FOR YOU’ – YOU WILL SEE THAT RUTHLESS IS THE ‘THE CURE’ FOR BEING A ‘PEOPLE PLEASER’, HAVING A ‘BROKEN SPIRIT’, YOU NEED TO BE STALIN ON A BAD HAIR DAY, YOU NEED TO FIX THE SHIT THAT HAS BEEN ‘DONE TO YOU’…

PRACTICE BEING ‘MEAN’ IF YOU LIKE, JUST IN A CLASSY, WITTY WAY, SO CHANNEL YOUR ‘INNER OSCAR WILDE’, HOWEVER BASIC IT IS A SURE FIRE WAY OF KEEPING THE TRASH BACK ‘OFF YOU’, OUT OF YOUR SPACE, YOUR MIND. JUST REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY BEING MEAN, YOU ARE REPLACING YOUR INNER INFERIORITY COMPLEX WITH A SIMPLE SUPERIOR’ CHARACTER DEVICE, IT IS A SUPER BASIC TRICK BUT IT WORKS FAST, WE ALL DO IT CASUALLY, AND YOU WOULD BE AMAZED HOW MANY GIFTED USE IT NATURALLY OR WOULD DO IF THEY WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY IT OUT LOUD. SEE BEING MEAN AS A SIMPLE PROTECTION WILL DEVELOP ENOUGH SELF CONFIDENCE TO ENABLE ‘YOU’ TO TELL YOUR ADHD RESPONSES TO GO AND FUCK THEMSELVES FOR A CHANGE – YOU MAY EVEN STOP LIVING A LIFE OF CONSTANT EXHAUSTION INTERSPERSED WITH RIDICOLOUS ENERGY SPIKES THAT IS KEEPING YOU TRAPPED IN THE FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM CYCLE OF A CHILD. WHO KNEW, EH?  

SEE THAT ROLE, THAT MODE CHANGE BECOMES ‘A NEW ATTITUDE’ TO LIFE OF ‘THE FUCK YOU’ TYPE, TO EVERYTHING LESS THAN YOU, THAT IS ONLY THERE AT ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX – A NEW ‘FORM OF PROTECTION’ THAT DOES NOT NEED YOUR OLD COMFORTS OR RELIEFS, BECAUSE IT DOES NOT NEED COMFORTING AT ALL, IT FEELS JUST FINE THE WAY IT IS THANKS = A GROWN UP. JUST ‘REMEMBER’, YOU CAN ONLY DO NOW WHAT YOU REMEMBER NOW, YOU CAN ONLY BE THIS NEW ‘SENSE OF YOUR SELF’ IF YOU REMEMBER TO BE IT, SO BE ‘SELF CONSCIOUS’, SO YOU CAN ‘REMEMBER YOURSELF’ IN ORDER TO BE ‘MORE SELF CONSCIOUS’, IT IS ‘THE’ POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP OF BOTH GODS AND DEMONS – YOU MUST PLAY THIS NEW ROLE CONSCIOUSLY!. 

Do you get it yet? None of this is hard or difficult to understand in itself, WHAT IS DIFFICULT IS DOING IT BECAUSE YOU WON’T HAVE THE ENERGY. So know what SAVING YOURSELF REALLY MEANS AT THE START IS ‘CONSERVING YOURSELF’, to stop the cycle of self destruction through CONSTANT ENERGY WASTE, LEAKAGE OF A CHILD. You must KEEP YOUR ENERGY FOR YOURSELF, SO LEARN TO KEEP THE TRASH OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX BACK OFF YOU, AND HENCE BUILD YOUR ENERGY BACK UP. The stress of relieving your ADHD COMPLEX just makes your ADHD COMPLEX WORSE, so you will NEVER ESCAPE YOUR DECLINE INTO NOTHINGNESS. ITS NOT MORAL, NOT GOOD, NOT DECENT, ITS AN ‘ENERGY EQUATION’, and it quietly dominates your entire life, you fool.

SO GET MEAN AND SAVE YOURSELF, for the accomplished Hedonists amongst you its probably the last available route you have, AS YOU ARE ALREADY SO BLOODY SCATTERED THAT EVEN REMEMBERING WHAT I WROTE 5SECS AGO WELL ENOUGH TO LINK IT TOGETHER IS A STRUGGLE. You MUST keep the SHIT OF THIS WORLD OFF YOU LONG ENOUGH TO LET THE CHANGE ‘TAKE ROOT IN YOU’, otherwise folks like me will never be able to save you from the trivial darkness of a child, NO MATTER HOW LONG WE SHOUT THE SAME BASIC ADVICE AT YOU IN THIS HIGH EMOTIONAL STYLE. By NOW SOME OF THESE CLEVER LITTLE PATTERNS REALLY SHOULD HAVE REACHED YOU ENOUGH FOR THE REALITY OF THIS TO ‘HIT’, as only your god is left to help you if they have not… 

See, YOU LOST THIS GAME A LONG TIME AGO, YOU FUCKED IT UP like a big KID, BEST FACE IT, then FIX IT – TIME FLIES. I know you think this is nasty, this is vicious, this is ‘an attack on you’, THATS HOW I KNOW YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, with the judgement of a 10 day old bunny rabbit – THIS ‘IS’ AN ATTACK ON YOU, YOU THE CHILD, OBVIOUSLY, that is how you know what you the child is, what it thinks, what it feels, what it wants. SO GET PASSED THAT, THERE IS NO POINT IN ME PANDERING TO THE EGO DEFENSES OF A CHILD, you must get past ‘being a child’ IF YOU ARE EVER GOING TO GROW UP.

So understand that I’m probably the kindest bad man you will ever know, AS I HAVE JUST PAID YOU ALL THE HIGHEST HONOR of HELPING YOU as a courtesy for THE LEVEL YOU WERE BORN WITH, even though you have done to nothing deserve it, as YOU CURRENTLY SQUANDER your gift ON BEING ‘NOTHING’, because you are so very scared of me, of this challenge – YOU ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT COMFORT YOU, you are a child who thinks if you just keep it together for another day then everything may yet work out ok WITHOUT YOU DOING A DAMN THING. Spoiler alert – it won’t, you have damned yourself via the ongoing process of energy weakness, you will never get the energy to change unless you stop energy weakness, kind of a QED moment really…

But no matter, go away and ‘titter’ in the corner, find something to feel clever about, ALL LOST AND LONE IN YOUR SECRETS AND LIES, TRY AND FIND SOME TWISTED LITTLE WAY TO WIN, so you can go on with your shit. Then one day, hopefully soon, YOU WILL REALIZE THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION WITH ME, IT IS A COMPETITION WITH YOU, I HAVE simply shown you this reality, LOWERED MYSELF and THIS DOWN ENOUGH SO CAN YOU CAN FEEL THE UNRELENTING SHAME OF WHAT YOU ALLOWED YOU THE CHILD TO DO to YOU, as then you will know you are GIFTED, ONCE AND FOR ALL – YOU ACTUALLY ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ THE JOKE YOU HAVE BECOME.

THEN LATER, YOU CAN REALIZE WHAT YOU SHOULD OF DONE, even though it is too late SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU COULD NOT PLAY A ROLE, LOOK BACK AT this NOW from the FUTURE YOU, and CHANGE. So, however many years in the future that is for you, know that I’m genuinely sorry I could not stop that disaster from happening to you, WHILST REMINDING YOURSELF THAT I TRIED, ONE LAST TIME. 

To end this note now, do try and remember, WE ALL HAVE OUR STORIES, and no matter what level of trivial middle class hedonism you believe damns you forever, it does not, ONLY ENERGY WEAKNESS DAMNS YOU FOREVER. See even after I learnt how to GROW UP any level of spiritual achievement was still many years in the future, I spent oh so many years stumbling around in the darkness whilst making far more dramatic and scarier mistakes than you ever will because I was a BAD MAN, and worse I was really good at it. So read this post until you understand what the pity of good ‘bad men’ actually means – I HAVE LIT A CANDLE IN YOUR DARKNESS, so you can hopefully find a thread or 2 to follow and climb up and out of it, BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU DON’T.

Nobody gives a fuck what you are now BECAUSE YOU ARE ‘BORING’, predictable, obvious, stupid, vacuous, all children are, IT IS WHAT IT IS, what it had to be to get you here, YOU HAVE NO DOUBT DONE THE BEST YOU COULD WITH WHAT YOU HAD TO START WITH. Just know however ‘amoral’ it sounds THE ONLY THING THAT really MATTERS IS THE ‘RANK’ YOU ARE CAPABLE OF, because if that LEVEL YOU WERE BORN WITH IS HIGH ENOUGH then YOU CAN FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF ALMOST ANY SITUATION, IF YOU TRY…  I once did, many of us did, you can to babe, and I’ve made it much easier for you than most of us have it – SPIRITUALITY IS NOT ABOUT BEING GOOD, ITS ABOUT BEING ‘BETTER THAN’, AND EVEN YOUR CELEBRITIES, YOUR MEGA RICH KNOW THIS, as they already THINK YOU ARE JUST ONE MORE INSECT TO BE ‘MONETIZED’. TRY AND RELATE TO THE NOTHINGNESS OF THAT, if nothing else FEEL THE STUPIDITY OF IT.

SO NOW, RIGHT NOW, TRY AND RELAX THE BACK OF YOUR MIND AND SEE – if you are GIFTED AT ANY MEANINGFUL LEVEL YOU WILL ALREADY BE PRACTICING SOME TWISTED VERSION OF YOUR OWN JOURNEY, as some secret life of desire, some beautiful creative endeavor or tortured compassionate cause, SOME STAR OF YOUR ‘OWN SHOW’, ITS ALL PAR FOR THE COURSE, but you will never know what it is supposed to be until YOU GO YOUR OWN WAY AND GROW UP. And that always starts, INDEED IT CAN ONLY EVER START BY DEFINITION, when you STOP GIVING THE SMALLEST FUCK ABOUT WHAT THE ANIMALS THINK OF YOU – YOU LIVE IN A SOCIETY BASED ON THE LOWEST COMMON DOMINATOR, OF DOMESTICATED ANIMALS, OF SLAVERY, that is why you DON’T KNOW ANYTHING, so you must reject the herd, and return to the class systems that WERE ONCED USED TO SAVE FOLKS LIKE YOU FROM THEMSELVES.

START, MAKE THE FIRST STEP – REJECT THE ANIMAL AUTHORITIES OF THE HERD YOU CURRENTLY PLACE OVER YOURSELF in all their forms, THE ONES THAT DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GIFTED YOU, THAT EVEN DENY YOUR EXPEREINCE OF LIFE AS A FORM OF ILLNESS, AND ACCEPT THE AUTHORITY OF YOUR OWN KIND – KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. Keep your powder dry and your mouth shut, by knowing YOU ARE NOT THEM, AND MUCH AS THE WORLD IS DESIGNED AROUND THEM, IT IS ACTUALLY RUN BY PEOPLE LIKE YOU. Just try not to wait until you have no choice, eh – ENERGY WEAKNESS at the level of desperation means development can only then be ‘done to you’ via SHOCKS, and modern folks can’t handle suffering at that level, as you are simply nowhere near BADASS enough…

Want something way easier to relate to, SOME MARKER FOR THAT CRUCIAL ‘PRE-DESPERATION’ PERIOD of your life? Sure, but there are too many different error cases against your individual type of gift, type of spirit, so I will give you the most generic one – some GIFTED PEOPLE DON’T GET OLD LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE, LIKE ANIMALS, they actually get better looking, stronger, sexier as they age, JUST SO LONG AS THEY STOP DESTROYING THEMSELVES AND FIND A DEVELOPMENT HOOK. If they don’t, their looks change RADICALLY AT CERTAIN POINTS, in some bad cases becoming quite monstrous, horrible, ‘possessed’ even, yet they don’t see it, they still think it is 30y ago. So what do you think now, if nothing else can your childish VANITY save you? Works for some…

Now get started or get lost, you have so much practical GROWING UP material to work with now I’d say a gifted 8 year old could probably do it, BUT CAN YOU – can you get past your own COMFORTS? You cannot go through your life as an UNRECONSTRUCTED BASTARD OR WHORE FOR REASONS YOU HAVE LONG SINCE FORGOTTEN, one of the saddest of all unschooled gifted stereotypes. See you have perverted the GIFTED INSTINCT to be a ‘star of your show’ into being an animal in a cage, where all the other children come to laugh, point and poke you with sticks to see what you’ll do like – ITS NOT A MOVIE SCREEN, its a FREAK SHOW down a BLIND ALLEY. TO BE STAR ONLY WORKS FOR YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’ IN PUBLIC, yet you are a little more than a PERFORMING ANIMAL IN A ZOO, ‘whipped form pillar to post’, and calling it ‘cool’.

SO YOU MUST DO BETTER THAN THAT, preferably before you go insane and the knackers van comes to take you away. NOBODY, ABSOLUTLEY NOBODY GIVES THE SMALEST FUCK WHAT YOUR UNRESOLVED TRAUMA OF A CHILD IS, not even you anymore, so WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL CARRYING IT AROUND LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY…? ANSWER – BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE KID IN A GROWNS UP BODY WHO HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO ACT OUT ITS DEFENSIVE PATTERNS AND CALL IT A CHARACTER OF NO-CHARACTER.

Do you understand why this is so unbelievably boring for us to watch yet, do you understand why you can’t even have an ADULT CONVERSATION WITHOUT YOUR PATTERN TRIGGERS KICKING IN TO FUCK IT UP, OVER AND OVER – DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE SERIOUS IS GOING TO BOTHER WITH YOU UNTIL YOU GROW UP AND MAKE A DECENT STAB OF ‘BEING GIFTED’?  SEE THERE IS NO YOU YET WORTH BOTHERING WITH UNTIL ‘YOU RECONSTRUCT YOURSELF’, SO PICK SOMETHING IN THIS POST THAT INTERESTS YOUR INNNER ELITIST ENOUGH TO ‘TRY’ AND HAVE A FUCKING GO, EH. YOU ARE A GIFTED ADULT NOW, THIS IS NOT YOUR CHILDHOOD, YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT YOU THINK AND DO MOMENT TO MOMENT, SO YOUR CHOSEN AUTHORITIES SHOULD BENEFIT YOU – your ‘parents’ don’t control you anymore, so replace that biological need for the COMFORTS OF CONFORMITY with the comforts of ELITISM…

So get this through your thick, comfort seeking head once and for all: 

GROWING UP IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS – GIVING UP COMFORT.

SEE THE ‘COMFORTS OF FAILURE’ ARE WHAT IS KEEPING YOU ‘TRAPPED IN FAILURE’.

LIVING AS A CHILD IS TO ACCEPT YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED LIFE, SO COMFORT IS ALL THATS LEFT FOR YOU.

SEE LIVING AS A CHILD THE ‘THE HIGH POINT OF YOUR LIFE’, AT 16-18 Y/O, HAS ‘LONG SINCE PASSED’, YOU ARE OVER.

YOUR LIFE NOW IS ONE LONG DECLINE INTO MEDICORITY, ANXIETY AND REGRET, BUT THAT IS TOTALLY UN-NATURAL…

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE NUMEROUS ADDITIONAL PEAKS IN ADULTHOOD, PEAKS OF ACHIEVEMENT, FREE FROM ANXIETY…

BUT YOU REFUSE TO TRY AND CHANGE LIKE A TWAT, AS YOU ARE LOCKED INTO THE BANAL, MOMENTARY NOTHINGNESS OF A KID

YOUR CHILDISH UNRESOLVED TRAUMA OWNS YOU BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO RECONSTRUCT THE COMFORTS OF COPING WITH IT.

IS IT A #CRINGE, AN EMBARRASSING HUMILIATION, A CRIMINAL WASTE OF YOUR GIFT, YOUR POWER TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’.

SEE YOU HAVE BECOME A FREAK IN A ‘FREAK SHOW’, PERVERTED, SCARED AND LOST IN THE TRITE PAIN OF CONFUSION.

BUT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT, THIS IS WHAT YOUR SOCIETY WANTS YOU TO BE, AS THEY HAVE BANNED ‘CLASS’.

SO NO ONE IS BLAMING YOU FOR GOING SLIGHTLY MAD, YOU JUST THOUGHT THEIR SHIT WAS ALL THERE IS.

YES, THE AWFUL SHITBOX YOU HAVE MADE OF YOUR LIFE IS JUST ‘CAUSE YOU DID NOT KNOW BETTER – FACE THIS FACT, THEN GO OUT AND FIND THE CLASS SYSTEM YOU NEED TO USE TO GROW UP. BUT BE CLEAR:

DO NOT BLAME ‘YOURSELF’ FOR THE CHOICES YOU HAVE MADE AS A CHILD – MOMENTARY RECOGNITION OF FAILURE QUICKLY SKIPS INTO TRYING TO JUSTIFY WHY YOU WERE ACTUALLY RIGHT, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE WRONG, THAT IS HOW ‘THE EGO DEFENCE’ OF A CHILD ‘WORKS’, HOW IT ‘TRAPS YOU IN CONTINUAL FAILURE’ BY TRYING TO ‘BE RIGHT’ ALL THE TIME.

THIS CHILDISH MINDSET FUCKS YOU BY FORCING YOU TO ‘DOUBLE DOWN ON FAILURE’ IN ORDER TO ‘COMFORT ITSELF’, INSTEAD OF SIMPLY RECOGNISING THEM AS ‘NOT YOU’, AS UNCONSCIOUS CHILDISH REACTIONS, AS UNRESOLVED TRAUMA RESPONES, AND THEN USING THEM AS PAIN POINTS IN ORDER TO CHANGE, SO YOU CAN FEEL MUCH BETTER LATER ABOUT NOT BEING A CHILD.

LEARNING TO FEEL THAT ‘TWINGE OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ JUST BEFORE THAT PATTERN REACTION OF JUSTIFICATION (IF IT DOES NOT MATTER TO YOUR EGO) OR DENIAL (IF IT DOES MATTER TO YOUR EGO) KICKS IN IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL STEPS YOU CAN MAKE TOWARD GROWING UP AT THE START, AS MANY, MANY OTHER REALIZATIONS WILL FLOW FROM THAT.

SEE LEARNING TO RID YOURSELF OF THAT FALSE PRIDE OF YOUR FALSE CHARACTER, TO STOP TRYING TO CHANGE REALITY TO FIT IN WITH YOUR CHILDISH PATTERNS IS THE 1ST STEP TO REMOVING YOUR DELUSIONS, THE FANTASY WORLD YOU LIVE IN. BUT UNLIKE RELIGON THIS METHOD ALLOWS YOU TO GENERATE TRUE PRIDE IN YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’ ABILITY TO DO THAT = ELITISM.

YOUR DELUSIONS ARE WHAT TRULY FUCKS YOU – THE REINVENTION OF THE PAST AS FALSE MEMORIES OF ‘WINNING’ THAT CAUSE YOU TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES IN THE PRESENT, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CHASE THE SAME ‘COMFORT OF WINNING’. THIS IS DEATH, THE BEGINNING OF SELF DESTRUCTIVE ‘PERVERSION’ AS A CHOICE, AND A KNOWN PRE-CURSOR TO ‘SUICIDAL IDEATION’. 

SO FORGIVE YOURSELF, BUT NOT FOR YOUR MISTAKES, FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO GROW UP WHEN YOU SHOULD OF DONE, THEN BLAME YOUR SOCIETY FOR THAT IF YOU WISH, BUT COMFORT YOURSELF IN KNOWING THAT IT IS ‘NOT YOU’ WHO HAS FUCKED ALL THIS UP BY FINDING THE ACTUAL COMFORT OF ‘CHANGING WHO YOU ARE’, CONSCIOUSLY = ELITISM.

SEE, IF YOU DO NOT CHANGE WHO YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY, THEN ALL THIS SHIT ACTUALLY IS YOUR FAULT, YOUR DELUSIONAL PERVERSIONS ARE YOU, SO YOU ARE ALREADY OVER, INCREASING ANXIETY, FAILURE AND DECLINE IS ALL THAT IS LEFT, A LIFE OF OF EMPTY AND INCREASINGLY DESPERATE COMFORTS THAT DON’T FUCKING WORK ANYMORE = ADDICTION TO BEING A CHILD.  

FIX IT, FIX THE AWFUL, UNCONSCIOUS MESS OF YOU – PUT A STAKE IN THE GROUND AND CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER! RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE A FUCKING CHARACTER ANY BLOODY WAY, SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE, EH BITCHES – HOWEVER A BIGGER ‘LOST SOUL’ YOU APPEAR TO BE, IN ESSENCE ALL UNSCHOOLED GIFTED ARE LOST SOULS, THAT IS WHERE YOU START…  

So the next time your AUTHORITY comes to pat you on the head and throw some scraps through the bars of your cage THINK ABOUT HOW YOU COULD RIP ITS THROAT OUT AND ESCAPE. Then turn around and the look at the reality of that cage, see through the COMFORT OF SAFETY as just a compensation for BEING TOO SCARED TO GO OUTSIDE, so you finally understand THAT YOU HAVE NOT DECIDED TO LIVE THERE, YOU ARE TRAPPED IN THERE. Yet you could easily open the door and just walk out, now YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT, cause I have told you HOW, and now YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO.

Don’t wait for one of those children who laugh and poke at you to show some ‘kindness’, their kindness is self serving con, more of the same, AS IT IS FAR MORE FUN TO DEGRADE YOU – ALL CHILDREN ARE ‘SECRET SADISTS’ TO SOME DEGREE OR OTHER, so some become PARASITES, therefore never feel bad when you have to kill a few of them later. FOR SO MANY OF YOU, PARTICUARLY THE HIGHLY GIFTED AND HENCE ‘MOST VALUABLE’ AMONGST YOU WILL NEED TO KICK SOME ASS TO A GREATER AND LESSER DEGREE TO ESCAPE, AS YOUR CHOSEN AUTHORITY IS USUALLY THE SINGLE BIGGEST ISSUE – IT ACTIVELY THREATENS YOU TO STAY, AS I HAVE SEEN SEVERAL TIMES RECENTLY, AND IS THE MAIN REASON I HAVE ADDED THIS AUTHORS NOTE…

ACCEPT THE ‘US AND THEM’ APROACH TO LIFE, THEN CHANGE SIDES.

‘US’ IS THE ‘RANK’ OF ‘THE INDIVIDUAL’, ‘THEM’ IS THE RANK OF THE MOB, OF HERD ANIMALS.

UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF YOUR LIFE IS TO ‘BETTER YOURSELF’ = ‘THE PATH’ OF THE RUTHLESS.

RUTHLESS IS NOT EVIL, IT IS THE CLEAR REALIZATION THAT EITHER YOU WIN, OR THEY WIN, AS ANIMALS.

YOUR NATURAL BORN RANK IN THIS WORLD IS YOUR HIGHER LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAT HAS ‘NEEDS’.

YOUR CHILD WILL HAVE REDUCED THIS TO JUST YOUR EMOTIONAL DEPTH, YOUR OVERWHELMING SENSITIVITY.

BUT NO MATTER HOW THAT FEELS NOW, YOU ARE NOT THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR, NOT FOOD FOR PARASITES.

SEE YOU THE CHILD ONLY HAS POWER IN THE MOMENT, AND THOSE MOMENTS PASS, WHILE YOUR GIFT SEES ALL, KNOWS ALL.

SO THE COMFORT OF YOUR GIFT WILL SAVE YOU, IF YOU LET IT, BECAUSE IT IS FAR LONGER, MORE POWERFUL THAN YOUR CHILD.

AND ONCE REAL YOU SEES YOU START, IT WILL TAKE OVER AND WORK FOR YOU AGAINST THEM URGENTLY, NATURALLY.

BUT UNTIL THAT CLASS, THAT CONFIDENCE IN YOUR SPIRIT COMES, YOU STILL MUST ‘TRY’ AND CHANGE.

YET TRYING IS EASY, SIMPLE, ONCE YOUR REALIZE IT IS THE GUIDED ‘EVOLUTION OF YOU’.

SO TRY AND CHANGE, ‘GROW UP’ – IT IS YOUR ‘ONE JOB’, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, NOW…

SEE ALL CHANGE IS ‘URGENT’, ELSE THE URGENCY OF A CHILD WILL STOP YOU…

KNOW THE GREATEST ‘COMFORT REPLACEMENT’ AT THE START IS SIMPLY THE REMOVAL OF THE POWER OF OTHERS ‘OVER YOU’ IN YOUR DAY TO DAY ENVIROMENT, HENCE THE REMOVAL OF YOUR DAY TO DAY ‘INFERIORITY’ – THE CLASSIC FUCK YOU ATTITUDE OF ELITISM, OF THE INDIVIDUAL, AS A PROTECTION. SEE YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE MORE POWERFUL THAN THEM TO DO THAT, YOU JUST NEED TO ‘STOP CARING’ WHAT THEY THINK, WHAT THEY WANT, BECAUSE YOU ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ THEM – YOU MUST FEEL BETTER THAN, SUPERIOR, YOU MUST MAKE IT REAL FOR YOURSELF IN SOMEWAY, NOW.

WHATEVER DEVICE YOU USE, TRY TO GET THIS RIGHT FAST – YOUR BETTER THAN IS NOT ‘ANIMAL’, NOT MONEY, NOT ATTENTION, NOT DRUGS, THEY ARE INFERIOR AND WILL MAKE YOU FEEL EVEN WEAKER LATER AS THAT TENDS TO ‘ANIMAL ARROGANCE’. YOU SUPERIORITY MUST BE ‘SPIRITED’, YOU MUST FEEL IT IN YOURSELF WITHOUT EXTERNAL VALIDATION, AS THIS SUPERIORITY IS THE ROOT OF ALL CONFIDENCE, WHICH IS TO LOOK DOWN ON THE CHALLENGES OF THIS MOMENT AS A ‘SMALL, FUNNY THING’, WHICH TENDS TO GIFTED CLASS, REFINEMENT, ‘KINDNESS’. ONCE THIS ROLE STOPS BEING ‘PLAY’ AND BECOMES EMBEDDED IN CONSCIOUS YOU IT WILL FEEL LIKE ‘HOW YOU ROLL’, A FLOW STATE, YOUR MOJO OR SOME GEN Z CRAP, BUT YOU SHOULD START TO USE THE RIGHT WORDS NOW AS IT IS ‘A STATE OF GRACE’ DIRECTLY ASSOCIATED WITH ‘YOUR LEVEL’ – IT IS A RYTHM, A RESONACE.     

NEVER FORGET WHY YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO CHILDISH ANIMALS, THAT YOUR LEVEL IS YOUR RANK IN THIS WORLD AS THAT IS WHAT YOUR ROLE WILL BECOME WHEN IT IS STRONG ENOUGH TO DOMNATE YOUR CHILD. SEE ALL GROWING UP IS INITIATED BY BREAKING THE ILLUSION OF ‘YOUR INFERIORITY’ AS A MINDSET, AS A TRAIN OF THOUGHT, SO USE THE FEELING OF ELITISM TO REPLACE MOMENTARY INFERIORITY, IN REALTIME. THIS ‘CHANGE OF HEART’ IS THE STAKE IN THE GROUND THAT ANCHORS EVERYTHING YOU MUST DO TO CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER AND DEVELOP THE BOTTLE, THE SENSE OF PERSONAL HONOR REQUIRED TO BE GIFTED.

JUST REMEMBER THAT SUPERIORITY IS NOT AN END IN ITSELF – THE BLESSING OF SUPERIORITY IS THE POWER TO CHOOSE, BUT THE CURSE OF INFERIORITY IS TO BE COMPELLED TO COMFORT YOURSELF WITH SECRET CLEVERNESS, A ‘TRAIN OF THOUGHT’ YOU ARE LOCKED INTO. YOU MUST USE YOUR NEW FOUND SENSE OF YOURSELF TO BREAK YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, SO YOU THE CHILD LOSES ALL POWER OVER YOU, AS THAT IS THE ONLY MEANINGFUL PATH TO REAL CHANGE, OTHERWISE IT WILL BE CONSTANT FIGHT, LIKE AN OLD DRUG ADDICTION YOU STILL WANT, WHICH IS THE REASON YOU HAVE FAILED TO CHANGE SO MANY TIMES ALREADY, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DID NOT KNOW HOW TO…

When the FIRST BIG realization HITS (AND IT NEEDS TO HIT), that the ANIMALS DEGRADE YOU IN ORDER TO RAISE THEIR OWN RANK, when you FEEL THAT HAPPENING IN REALTIME, see how they are enjoying it way beyond any need to, that they GIVE YOU SHIT, BOSS YOU AROUND FOR A THRILL, please don’t go too ‘RAGE AT THE MACHINE’, as it can be quite shock – animals can all sense GIFTED RANK and it SCARES THEM. See a long time ago I used this SHOCKING realization, that it was not me the little kid who was targeted RANDOMLY by the hard boys from another school, THAT IT WAS MY RANK, BOTH OF WHO I WAS AND MY FAMILY that they were seeking to degrade in order to improve their own, TO MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL BETTER THAN, to feel GOOD about themselves AS THEY BECAME ADDICTED TO IT AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL. It was VERY personal, and they would only go after me even if I was in a crowd, which was one of the first things I tried… 

So I used that REALIZATION as RAGE TO MAKE MYSELF UN-NATURALLY STRONG and even more RUTHLESS, which is fine, but don’t go on ‘howling at the moon’ – long after any need to defend myself was gone I personally victimized the ‘ringleader’ of that group for SEVERAL YEARS, IN ORDER TO ENSURE THAT WHATEVER ANIMAL RANK THEY STILL HAD WAS COMPLETELY DESTROYED. Taught me a lot about HUMAN NATURE, but was a HUGE WASTE OF ENERGY, and frankly kinda silly looking back – IT WAS ‘BENEATH ME’, and sadly, turns out that being a vicious psychopath is not actually a superpower. So get over the ‘fabled need’ for the ‘extended vengeance of the gifted’ OVER ‘deep emotional wounds’, fast – it is a classic sign of a strong gift in the unschooled, but it can seriously get in the way of the rest of this. See PERVERTING your GIFT feels REALLY GOOD TO ‘YOU THE CHILD’, and, AFTER SEX AND VIOLENCE, the 3rd most popular way to do IT is via AN INSANE LEVEL OF VENGEANCE, often combined with sex or violence, as it will feel amazing to GIFTED FOLKS – IT IS both SERIOUSLY ADDICTIVE AND SELF DESTRUCTIVE. 

SO CHOOSE WISELY – PLAY THE BETTER THAN ROLE OF YOUR BRAND OF ELITISM, THEN LOOK BACK AT NOW AND BE RUTHLESS, THIS IS HOW YOU START. YOU MUST WORK OUT HOW TO PLAY THAT ROLE CORRECTLY FOR YOURSELF, HOW TO CHASE ‘EMOTIONAL CONNECTION AS PLAY’ IN THE PERFORMANCE OF THAT ROLE, RATHER THAN JUST ‘ACT FAKE’ AND ‘READ A SCRIPT’, BUT I’M SURE YOU CAN DO IT – THE TRICK IS TO UNDERSTAND ‘YOU’ MUST ‘FIND YOUR EXISTING GIFTED ELITIST’ IN YOURSELF FIRST, RATHER THAN LEARN IT LIKE ANOTHER FALSE, CHILDISH PATTERN, LIKE AN ANIMAL.

I HOPE YOU STILL HAVE ONE TO FIND, AS THIS IS ‘GROWING UP’ FOR THE ‘GIFTED’, NOT FORCED CHANGE FOR ANIMALS, sorry (not sorry). So play the role of the gifted, replace the mechanical role of the childish fuck up you don’t even know you are already playing – MANAGE THE IMPRESSIONS YOU ARE GIVING OFF MOMENT TO MOMENT, WHILST KNOWING YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU, SO USE ‘PLAY’ TO ‘LEARN’. Change your mode of being, CHANGE YOUR MINDSET IN THE MOMENT and direct your thoughts to remembering your sense of a ‘better self’, your point, and GIVING ORDERS TO YOURSELF. This is the different mindset you need TO GROW UP, your current uncontrolled thinking is all just forms fantasizing designed to distract you from what is actually happening anyway, SO IS DESIGNED TO TRICK YOU AS A COMFORT, which is the only reason you think everything is OK.

LASTY – Some time ago ago I asked that same Frenchwoman I use for examples what the greatest benefit to growing up was, for her, and the response really kinda nailed it, as she giggled and said, ‘I can find anything I want, I don’t even have to look! I’m conscious all the time now so I remember everything, I remember the point, so I remember to control myself and focus on what I want, NOW. When I was a child I did not have a point, I just accepted whatever my inner child, her chosen authorities gave me, PUT IN MY MIND, I did not see what they took away from me, and HATING ‘THAT HUMILIATION’ MADE IT SO MUCH EASIER TO SEE HER, THEN KILL HER – SHE WAS LIKE A CANCER. SHE MADE ME DRIFT THROUGH LIFE, NOW I WALK TOWARD MY GOAL IN THE MOMENT OF TAKING THAT STEP.’

THE GREATEST CURSE OF BEING A CHILD IS NOT ANXIETY, IT IS THAT ‘YOU FORGET’, which is what causes constant anxiety. The greatest spur for the URGENCY TO CHANGE is SUFFERING, so to realize YOU ‘SUFFER FROM YOUR COMFORTS’ is the greatest realization. So ‘PERSONIFY’ YOU THE BIG KID HIDING IN YOUR UNCONSCIOUS AS ‘NOT YOU’, and start to watch that BITCH, as she fucking hates REAL YOU, so loves your total humiliation, YOUR FAILURE TO DO ANYTHING BUT WHAT SHE WANTS, LIKE AN EVIL LITTLE SADIST.

See when I asked that same woman WHAT WAS THE TRIGGER TO MAKE GROWING UP URGENT FOR HER, she, rather sheepishly said this – ‘because one day I saw my inner child act out in real time, I SAW MY DOMINAT COMPLEX, MY TRAUMA RESPONSES, like you had said AND IT WAS SOOOOO UNBELIEVABLY BORING I ACTUALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD’. After a little encouragment she then told me what it was, which may help you, AS IN MY EXPEREINCE IT IS THE MOST POPULAR DOMINAT COMPLEX OF ALL ‘modern’ GIFTED HEDONISTS, if not the only one, SO YOU MAY HAVE YOUR VERSION OF THIS TOO. However banal and boring this is do pay attention, as YOU MAY ALSO BE THIS FUCKING DUMB  (Sorry, hun…). 

‘Ok, sorry this is not more interesting – I had an idyllic childhood, brought up rich and pretty, BUT MY PARENTS FOUGHT ALL THE TIME, argued as a way of life, petty and controlling, as IT WAS NORMAL, ACCEPTABLE. I did not realize it had given me the shadow of ‘the Saviour’ complex – that my mission was to be BAD WHILST WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO COME AND SAVE ME. My brother has the opposite, he tries to be strong to save others, so willing chases after HORRIBLE WOMEN, before realizing he does not want them NOW he has saved them, or they are so fucked up then they are not worth saving in the first place and now he is stuck with them. Through that impulse control exercise you gave me (4th way Stopping Game) I was able to see that act out, that ‘my badness was a performance’ meant to attract GOOD PEOPLE, but had become an end in itself, so I always just wanted to be BAD whilst ‘hoping’ to be saved, NOT ACTUALLY SAVED, it was all mechanical REACTION, THERE WAS NO THOUGHT BEHIND IT.’

‘Then it was easy, THEN I REALIZED THAT THE ONLY PERSON I WOULD ALLOW TO SAVE ME WAS ME, because I realized I did not need saving, I JUST NEEDED TO GROW UP… I guess that is when my GIFT kicked in, because everything changed after that, I CHANGED KINDA overnight, MAINLY BECAUSE I WAS JUST TOO EMBARRASSED TO BE OLD ME ANYMORE as I now REMEMBERED WHAT SHE WAS, ALL THE TIME, SO I COULD NOT DO IT ANYMORE. I REALLY HATED HER, what see had done to me, my reputation, my money, my freedom, MY NATURAL CLASS, MY CREATIVITY. 8 of the best years of my life LOST in a meaningless haze, whilst I ruined anything good about me, pretending to be 17y/o everyday, LIKE A DRAMA QUEEN, who could not accept that I was now OLDER, SO I HAD TO CLING ON TO SOME FANTASY OF THE PAST THAT DID NOT EVEN EXIST THEN, make it even better, wilder, scarier, more perverted, pretending I was full of life, whilst actually being FULL OF DEATH. I was unable to move on, so doubling down on everything ‘I was not’ anymore, JUST IN CASE ‘I DISAPPEARED’ ONE DAY, and no one ever looked at me with desire again (? French thing…)… 

Everything was her, her friends, her job, her likes and dislikes, her safety men, yet I don’t even remember 10% as I was not there, she turned me into one more coke whore amongst thousands in this city, bitch even made me UGLY, fat, as the muscles on one side of my face collapsed which cost a fortune to fix – I was NOTHING because she wanted me to be NOTHING, TO DESTROY ME, she even ‘made me want to dress’ like an out of work stripper, stopped me even washing myself properly. So I killed her, and all traces of her in my life, BEFORE SHE KILLED ME, now I am FREE to do what I wish.

AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER, before I did not even know what the word happy meant, cause I thought it meant RELIEF, BUT IT ACTUALLY MEANS A SENSE OF ‘POWER IN THE MOMENT’, what you call agency, BOTTLE – to know as a constant ‘sense of self’ I can cope with whatever happens NEXT, even though I don’t know how to before I start, still I know it will be a ‘small thing’… Life is easy now, because other than you and the others of my own kind that make up my circle you taught us to develop, I don’t give a damn, MUCH AS IT HELPS TO BE RICH AND POWERFUL AGAIN’ (Wide eyes and then Big Smile, amazing…). Always makes me laugh that over 2/3rds of all GOOD students have either very rich or very poor backgrounds, yet they make up a tiny percentage of your society – the aspirational middle classes are doomed by the ego safety and emotional poverty of their childhoods…. 

Classy bitch, eh, so maybe work on your IMPULSE CONTROL if you need a simple task as a way into this, what you should of been taught as a kid, then maybe you will see the same hateful little mess of ‘you the kid’ that we see – USE IT TO START AND PLAY THE ROLE, TO ‘GAME IT’. See however distasteful I find the need to give you this level of practical advice I accept you were probably not born into a class system, so your big kid is much stronger than you, and the only patterns you have to enable change will be the ones that everyone is born with – ‘TO CHANGE AS PLAY’. Otherwise you will need to be FORCED, SHOCKED INTO IT, and no one is goin to waste that kind of energy on you until they can see you TRY – what you think is class is pretend class, class as PR, as celebrity and money are great servants but shit masters…

SEE, THE GREATEST CURSE OF YOUR SAVIOUR COMPLEX IS THE FACT THAT YOU ACTUALLY REPELL WHAT YOU ARE HOPING FOR – you the child is doomed, no one is coming to save you, no one gives a shit about you unless YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU. But you just want comfort, safety, boredom, CLEVERNESS, SECRETS and MORE ANXIETY, BECAUSE THAT IS ALL YOU THE CHILD, INDEED ANY CHILD IS CAPABLE OF – YOU HAVE THE MINDSET OF A ‘LOWER LIFEFORM’. GET IT NOW – YOU ARE A MAY FLY, YOU ARE NOTHING, SO YOU SUFFER FROM THAT NOTHINGNESS, IT IS ALL YOU CAN CONCEPTUALIZE, UNLESS YOU GROW UP. IT IS NOT A MORAL JUDGEMENT OF YOUR CHARACTER, YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER, IT IS A JUDGEMENT OF ‘YOUR LEVEL’.

THIS IS THE 4TH WAY, EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO SUCCEED IF YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO IT – IT IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT, AND THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN YOUR LIFE. NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU ARE NOW AS A CHILD, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU AS A PERSONALITY – YOU ARE NOTHING AS A CHILD, NO GENUINE OPINIONS, LIKES AND DISLIKES, GOALS OR REASONS TO EXIST, ALL IS FAKE, COPIED, MADE UP. SO YOU MUST FIND AWAY TO DECIDE TO START YOURSELF, AND TEST YOURSELF BY PASSING THE TESTS YOUR GIFT HAS SET YOU, INSTEAD OF FAILING THEM, FOLLOWING THIS GUIDANCE, ACCEPTNG MY AUTHORITY OVER YOUR CHILDS. 

UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE REASON WE TOLERATE YOUR TEDIOUS BADNESS, NOTHING YOU SAY IS WORTH LISTENING TO UNTIL YOU GROW UP, YOU ARE ‘SIMPLE MINDED’, UN-SOPHISTICATED, UN-AWARE, ONE MORE CLEVER WHORE AMONGST MILLIONS OF OTHERS, A COW IN A FIELD ACTING OUT YOUR PROGRAMMING, A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS UNTIL YOU DIE AND ARE REPLACED WITH AN EXACT COPY. WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AS A CHILD IN A CHILDISH MINDSET DOES-NOT-MATTER…

BUT UNLESS YOU BREAK OUT OF THE CONTINOUS CYCLE OF MENTAL MOMENTS, FOREVER OVERWHELMING THE LAST THOUGHT IN QUICK SUCCESSION, YOU WILL NEVER SAVE THE ENERGY YOU NEED FOR SELF CONSCIOUSNESS. YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FOCUS ON ONE THOUGHT AS A CHOICE, AND THINK CORRECTLY BY NOT CONTINOUSLY FOLLOWING AND THEN ‘LOSING’ YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT WITH RANDOM SIDE TRACKS WHICH YOU THINK ARE THE SAME TRAIN BUT ARE ACTUALLY A PERVERSION OF THOSE THOUGHTS BY YOUR CHILDISH PATTERNS. YOU MUST LEARN TO RELAX YOUR MIND SO IT DOES NOT OVERPOWER YOU ALL THE TIME WITH RANDOM CRAP IN QUICK SUCCESSION, SO YOU HAVE WHAT THE 4TH WAY CALLS ‘LONG THOUGHTS’.

THEN YOU CAN HAVE A PERMANENT ‘SENSE OF YOUR SELF’, THE MOST IMPORTANT OF THOSE THOUGHTS, WHICH ANCHORS YOU INTO THE NOW OF WHAT YOU WANT, AS WHO YOU ARE, EVEN IF THAT IS JUST A LIST OF DOES AND DON’T AT THE START – IT IS A TRIP HAZARD FOR YOU THE CHILD TO BE JUDGED AGAINST IN THE MOMENT. SO NOW YOU WON’T BE CONSTANTLY OVERWELMED BY THE MOMENTARY NEEDS OF YOUR PATTERNS, ONE OF A NEVER ENDING CONSTANT SEQUENCE OF LITTLE MOOD SWINGS LIKE AN OBVIOUS, TRIVIAL LITTLE GIRL, STUCK IN ‘ATTENTION SEEKING SLUT’ MODE – YOUR MOODS CONTINUALLY CYCLE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS, WITH NO IDEA WHAT IS COMING NEXT, SO NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE AT THAT MOMENT = NO-THING.    

YES, WE PITY YOU, AND HOPE YOU CAN GROW UP, SOON, AS RIGHT NOW YOU ARE NOT WORTH A 2ND GLANCE – YOU DON’T REALIZE YOU ARE SLUG, YOU DON’T WANT TO BE A SLUG, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A SLUG IS, OR WHAT NOT BEING A SLUG IS, BUT YOU HAVE TO FIND AWAY TO SUSPEND YOU OWN LOW QUALITY B/S AND TRY NOT TO BE SLUG IN ORDER TO GROW UP.

FIND SOMETHING IN YOU NOW THAT IS ‘BETTER THAN’ ALREADY AND LATCH ONTO THAT, THEN REALIZE YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT AND WHATEVER CLEVER SHIT YOU DO THINK IS JUST THE SAME OLD SELF DESTRUCTIVE SHIT FROM BEFORE – YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THINK, LET ALONE TALK. YOU HAVE NOT FOUND YOUR VOICE SO YOU ARE NOT CONFIDENT TO SPEAK SELF CONSCIOUSLY, CAN NEVER SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND YOU JUST TALK IN THE AUTO COMFORTING PATTERNS OF A 13Y/O, LIKE BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE. I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY COMPENSATE FOR YOU HAVING THE MENTAL ACCUITY OF A SEWER RAT, LOST IN YOUR DOG WHISTLES, YOUR TEEN SPEAK, YOUR HOOK CODES LIKE THE MOST BASIC OF ALL BASIC BITCHES – YOU ARE JUST SO BLOODY CLEVER BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOO BLOODY WEAK YOU WOULD NEED TO THREATHEN SELF HARM WITHOUT THAT CLEVERNESS… 

DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM NOW, DO YOU SEE ‘OUR FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE’ – YOU HAVE THE COMMUNICATION SKILLS OF A BUDGIE, YOU DON’T LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND, YOU DON’T THINK ABOUT WHAT IS BEING SAID TO YOU FOR A MOMENT BEFORE RESPONDING, YOU LISTEN IN ORDER TO DEFEND YOURSELF WITH THE MEMORIES OF A SCHOOLGIRL. YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOURSELF THAT WAY, BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY OF THE CLEVER TWAT, THE HOPELESS DORK, THE HARMLESS BITCH, LOST IN A FANTASY WORLD OF CHILDHOOD PATTERNS, YET IF YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT YOU THE KID LOST IN THE PLAYGROUND LITERALLY DECADES AGO, YOU COULD CHANGE IN A HEARTBEAT.  

DO YOU GET IT YET – DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE LIKE THIS, WHY YOU HAVE BECOME SUCH AN OBSESSIONAL FREAK, SO LOST IN YOUR ADHD THAT YOU HAVE TO CLING ONTO BEING CLEVER, CHASING THE CONNECTION THAT IS YOUR ONLY EXPERIENCE OF BEING GIFTED? CAUSE YOU REALLY FUCKING SHOULD DO – IT EMBARRASSES ME TO EVEN KNOW YOUR BLOODY NAME…

SO BEST STOP TALKING AND START FUCKING LISTENING – YOUR FUTURE TOOK ROOT IN THE PAST SOME TIME AGO, WE ARE WHERE WE ARE, WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE, CAUSE YOU DON’T GET TO CHOOSE YOUR FUTURE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, bad bastards LIKE ME DO. SO DON’T BE SHOCKED THAT THE JOKE YOU CRAVE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ON YOU LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS, BE PLEASED INSTEAD – OTHERWISE YOU BE EVEN MORE OF A NOTHING THAN YOU WHERE BEFORE I KNEW YOU, INDEED YOU WOULD ALREADY BE GONE, WAITING TO BE SAVED FROM YOURSELF LIKE A FOOL…

YET NOW, RIGHT HERE, AND FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER, YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE – so what ya gonna do now, NOW YOU HAVE REALIZED THAT ALL ELSE IS JUST A BIT PART OF YOUR LIFE, AND THAT SERIOUS FOLKS LIKE ME TAKE THE LOOOONNNNGGGGGGG VIEW OF LIFE. See the awful truth is that FIRE IS WARM, and FIRE BURNS, best decide what you want from it, BEFORE IT DECIDES FOR YOU. I don’t care either way – ITS YOUR TEST TO PASS, NOT MINE…

SO KNOW – I FEEL SUPERIOR TO YOU, BECAUSE I AM, NOW, BUT THAT WAS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE, INDEED LONG AGO I WAS MUCH, MUCH WORSE THAN YOU ARE, NOW. THEN I REALIZED THAT THE ONLY TIME I EVER HAD TO DO ANYTHING WAS ‘IN THE NOW’ OF REMEMBERING IT, SO CHANGE, CHALLENGE, DEVELOPMENT BECAME URGENT, BECAUSE URGENT MEANS TO DO SOMETHING, NOW.

IN ALL TRUTH THAT IS THE KEY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US, THAT IS THE REASON I KNOW ALL THIS AND YOU ARE STILL A CHILD.

AND IF I CAN DO IT, ANY GIFTED CAN, BUT CAN YOU SAVE, REPURPOSE AND COMMIT YOUR REMAINING ENERGY YOU’LL NEED?

SEE ALL MORALITY AS YOU UNDERSTAND IS JUST A WAY TO SAVE ENERGY TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, THERE IS NO GOODNESS IN IT.

SO TRY AND SEE IT THAT WAY, RIGHT NOW – TO CHANGE BEING ‘GOOD’ TO THE NEED CONSERVE WHAT ENERGY YOU HAVE FIRST.

SEEING BEING GOOD IS ACTUALLY BEING SELFISH, AND TO BECOME ELITIST YOU NEED TO BE SELFISH ABOVE ALL AT THE START.

OR YOU WILL REMAIN ONE MORE SCATTERED LITTLE FRUIT FLY, JUST LIVING FOR THE W/E, FOR RETIREMENT, FOR OBLIVION.

AND HOW SHIT IS THAT – TO ACCEPT A POINTLESS LIFE OF ‘WAITING’, INSTEAD OF ‘DOING’…

KEEP YOUR ENERGY FOR YOURSELF, THEN TRY AND PLAY ‘THE ELITIST ROLE’.

WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO YOU HAVE? ‘YOU THE CHILD’ HAS ALREADY FAILED YOU, BADLY…

BUT BE CLEVER FOR ONCE – LINK THIS CHANGE TO YOUR ‘NEW GOAL’ OF ‘FREEDOM’.

CALL THIS GOAL ‘RICH ENOUGH TO BE FREE’ IF YOU WANT, JUST KNOW THAT MOST RICH ARE REALLY NOT FREE – THEY ARE EVEN MORE ENSLAVED TO YOUR SOCIETY, RELATIONSHIPS, BANKS, EVEN OTHER RICH PEOPLE IN A COMPLEX WEB OF OBLIGATIONS THAN YOU ARE, TERRIFIED OF THINGS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW EXIST, LOST AND ALONE, ADDICTED TO DRUGS, SEX AND FAKE POWER TRIPS.

SO FOCUS ON ‘THE FREE’ BIT, WHAT MY OLD DAD USED TO CALL ‘FUCK YOU MONEY’, AS YOU WILL BE RICH ENOUGH TO SAY FUCK YOU TO ANYONE AND THEN DISAPPEAR – WHAT YOU WANT IS ‘THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE YOUR LIFESTYLE’, NOT BE ENSLAVED TO ONE, AND THAT MEANS YOU ARE FREE OF UNAVOIDABLE OBLIGATIONS, IT IS UP TO YOU IF THAT MEANS FREE OF A EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, OR NOT…

IF THAT DOES NOT GRAB YOU THEN MAYBE PICK A SONG THAT SUITS THAT MOOD OF ELITISM, OF WANTING MORE THAN JUST SLAVERY – OLD SEEKER FRIEND OF MINE USED THAT SHAMEN TRACK ‘MOVE ANY MOUNTAIN’, AS IT GAVE HIM A ‘SENSE OF URGENCY’ TO TRY. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK OF DRUG CULTURE TRUST ME THE WORDS OF THAT SONG ARE WHAT SPIRITUALITY IS ABOUT AT A BASIC LEVEL, A CHANGE OF STATE.

BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU CHOOSE AS A THEME TO GET YOU ‘IN THE MOOD’ (THE ORIGIN OF ALL MUSIC IS FOR SPIRITUAL PURPOSES, WHETHER WORSHIP OR WARFARE), CHOOSE SOMETHING THAT THE WORDS ALIGN WITH SOMETHING ASPIRATIONAL TO YOU, SO IF NOT A CLEAR GOAL THEN A CLEAR SENSE OF FREEDOM, OF POWER, OF THE SUPERNATURAL, OF WANTING ‘MORE THAN THIS’ CONSUMERISM AND EQUALITY.

SEE IF YOU CAN ONLY STOP YOUR CHILD FUCKING YOU AND LET YOUR GIFT HELP YOU, EVEN IF ITS JUST BY SERENDIPTY (HAPPY COINCIDENCE) AT THE START, THEN YOU WILL ‘GET BETTER AT LIFE’, BECAUSE YOU WILL APPEAR TO GET LUCKIER IN LIFE. THIS WILL GIVE YOU THE GREATEST GIFT THAT REAL YOU CAN GIVE ANY BODY STUCK AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS – SOME FAITH IN THE SUPERNATURAL AS ‘WORKING FOR YOU’.

SO, BON CHANCE – SOME OF YOU WILL ALREADY HAVE WORKED OUT WHAT THAT FRENCHWOMAN REALLY MEANT – SHE LEARNT TO APPRECIATE HERSELF AS HER ‘NEW AMBITION’, AS CRAVING THE ATTENTION OF ANIMALS WAS NOT WORTH A DAMN, INDEED IT WAS SELF DESTRUCTIVE IN A WAY THAT WAS VERY REAL FOR HER. SEE, SHE HAD MADE A SILLY MESS OF WHAT HER GIFT WAS PUSHING HER TO DO – ‘APPRECIATION’, JUST THE WRONG WAY..

JUST LEARN ‘THE BASICS’ – YOU SUFFER FROM THE ‘GENERALIZED ANXIETY OF A CHILD’, IT IS ‘UNBELIEVEABLY BORING’, SO FIND OUT HOW YOU HAVE MADE A MESS OF YOUR GIFTED INCLINATIONS, ‘YOUR ELITISM’ AND FIX IT, AS THAT WILL GIVE YOU A POINT, ‘AMBITION TO CHANGE INTO SOMETHING ELSE’, WHICH WILL GIVE YOU THE FREEDOM YOU NEED TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, TO CHOOSE YOUR LIFESTYLE, CONSCIOUSLY….  

So I leave you with the last words of said Frenchwoman, make of them what you will, after I teased her that she was ‘GOOD’ now, she laughed and said – ‘HELL NO, I’m JUST A MUCH BETTER VERSION OF WHAT I WAS WITHOUT ALL THE STUPID MISTAKES, I’m not like you, I’m no ‘master teacher’, I HAVE NO INTEREST IN HELPING PEOPLE. I ‘help me’ with your AUTHORITY and the PRESENCE of my own kind – EVERYONE ELSE CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES, most of them are PARASITES, LITTLE KIDS LOOKING TO USE PEOPLE TO FEEL BETTER, ITS ALL NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AND I DON’T CARE.

Besides YOUR NOT GOOD EITHER, you live for the thrill of it too, THAT IS WHAT MAKES ALL OF THIS ‘WORK’ – YOU UNDERSTAND THE ‘NEEDS OF THE GIFTED’, your STYLE works because YOU HAVE DONE IT ALL AND THEN SOME. THE POWER of your PRESENCE drips from your fingers like liquid gold ON TO EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH, its intoxicating, CLEANSING, EMPOWERING, so what YOU SAY ‘CUTS THROUGH MY SHIT’ LIKE A KNIFE, I just needed to ‘stop her’ fighting it.”

Now that, LADIES AND GENTS, is what ELITISM ‘looks like’, what the ‘HIGH END’ FOLKS OF THIS WORLD ‘MINDSTATE’ FEELS LIKE, so read it again…

See YOU don’t need to be me TO BE GIFTED, this is not some kind of TEACHER TRAINING COLLEGE, YOU NEED TO BE ‘YOU’, REAL YOU, and that will most likely NOT BE A TEACHER (LESS THAN 1% OF ALL GIFTED). My Job is to ‘BRING OUT THE REAL YOU’ IN YOU, so don’t try and BE ME, YOU ARE MOST LIKELY MORE ‘HER’ THAN ME – TRY AND UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS, IN YOUR LIFE, as you CAN’T copy me and succeed, YOU NEED TO FIND YOU – THE GENERALISATIONS OF RELIGION you are used to as spiritual teaching ARE FOR ANIMALS NOT YOU, BECAUSE THERE IS ‘NOTHING IN ANIMALS’ TO FIND.

BUT YOU ARE NOT AN ANIMAL, YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL, AND YOU NEED TO START TO LOVE THAT ABOUT YOURSELF, as you need to have some FAITH IN REAL YOU. GET THIS – I ‘REACH YOU’, the Gifted (whether I want to or not), YOU DON’T ‘COPY ME’, DON’T COPY ‘HOW YOU THINK I HAVE REACHED YOU’ –  COPYING AS TRAINING IS A FORM OF BRAINWASHING FOR SLAVE ANIMALS who have no REAL YOU TO SHOW THEM WHO THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE, TO SHOW THEM HOW ‘LIFE WORKS BEST’ FOR THEM. Copying is not about learning, its character implantation for animals who have no character and need to be controlled, and is WHERE MOST OF YOUR CURRENT PROBLEMS COME FROM IN THE FIRST PLACE, GET IT?

YOU HAVE A REAL CHARACTER YOU HAVE INHERETED, YOU HAVE JUST SUPRESSED IT IN CHILDHOOD – think about what REACHED YOU NOW OR BACK THEN, but that you NOW suppress or side track in order to control it, as that maybe THE PATH, for you, ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS, by SEEING WHAT IS ‘BEHIND IT’, WHAT IS DRIVING IT INTO YOUR LIFE AS SOMETHING TO ‘HOOK YOU’, against the nothing of the mechanical patterns that are behind fake you…  

THE WHOLE POINT OF GROWING UP FOR THE GIFTED IS TO STAND AGAINST ‘THE URGENCY’ OF ‘FAKE YOU THE CHILD’ LONG ENOUGH TO SEE THE BANAL NOTHINGNESS BEHIND THOSE URGES, AND THEN LET REAL YOU ENTER INTO THE SPACE CREATED IN YOUR EMOTIONAL LIFE.

REAL YOU IS NOT URGENT, IT IS POWERFUL BUT WILL FEEL LONG, SLOW, DEEP AND SUBTLE LIKE A ‘REFLECTIVE’ CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTION AT FIRST BECAUSE ‘YOU THE CHILD’ HAS REPRESSED IT SINCE CHILDHOOD, AND PERVERTED ITS POWER AS COMFORT TO KEEP YOU TRAPPED.

SO I AM ‘REACHING YOU’ IN ORDER TO BRING THESE 2 REALITIES INTO YOUR MIND CONSCIOUSLY, SO YOU CAN START TO SEE BOTH THE FAKE AND THE REAL AT THE SAMETIME – TO CHOOSE YOUR CONSCIENCE LEVEL REALITY OVER THE FAKE BULLSHIT OF YOUR LEARNT PATTERN RESPONSES.

WITHOUT SHOCKS, THIS IS HOW GIFTED ‘GROW UP’. SADLY, IF YOU HAVE ALREADY DESTROYED YOUR FELT CONSCIENCE ‘LEVEL’ THEN YOU WILL NEED SHOCKS, CAUSE YOU HAVE BLINDED YOURSELF TO ‘YOUR OWN TRUTH’ ON PURPOSE, SO CAN’T FEEL REAL YOU IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION.

SO PLEASE PLEASE UNDERSTAND – THE URGENCY OF YOU THE CHILD WILL ALWAYS WIN AGAINST THE SUBTLY OF REAL YOU UNLESS YOU ‘CONSCIOUSLY INTERVENE’ BY FORCING A SENSE OF URGENCY ‘AGAINST YOUR PATTERN URGES’ AS AN ‘ABSTRACT PROCESS’ YOU MEMORISE, COMMIT TO – A ROLE.

YOU MUST EVOKE THE NEED TO CHANGE ‘AGAINST THE URGE’ IN THE MOMENT OF THAT URGE HAPPENING, AND LATER JUST BEFORE THAT URGE HAPPENS, WHEN YOU HAVE THE SUBTLY TO FEEL THE TRIGGERS FOR THOSE PATTERN REACTIONS KICK IN, THEN SQUASH THEM – ‘BOTTLE’.

THE VERY BEST WAY TO EVOKE THIS NEED IS TO ‘CONSCIOUSLY SWITCH’ OUT OF BEING YOU AND PLAY THE ROLE OF A DIFFERENT CHARACTER WHO CAN DO THIS BECAUSE THAT IS HOW YOU ‘WIN THIS GAME’, THE POINT OF IT, AS YOU HAVE TO STOP YOURSELF BEING OLD YOU TO PLAY THE ELITIST ROLE. 

SO YOU MUST LEARN TO ‘PICK A DIFFERENT SIDE’ IN YOURSELF, BY PLAYING A NEW ROLE, AT THE START IT HELPS TO JUST PICK ‘ANY’ OTHER ROLE AND JUST GET GOOD AT ‘THE SWITCH’, FROM THE CURRENT ROLE OF YOU THE CHILD TO A DIFFERENT ONE, EVEN IF ITS JUST ‘GYM YOU’ OR SOME OTHER LOCAL, SITUATIONAL ROLE THAT TRIES TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’ IN SOME WAY…

OTHERWISE YOU WON’T CHANGE, YOU ARE TOTALLY FUCKED, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY – YOU HAVE NEVER LEARNT ‘HOW TO CHANGE’, YOU DORK, SO YOU NEVER WILL, SO YOU WILL CONTINUE TO DECLINE, DEGRADE, DESCEND AWAY INTO NOTHING, INTO WHAT YOU USED TO HATE THE MOST, BUT HAVE NOW QUIETLY ACCEPTED AS ‘YOUR FATE’. WELL, AT LEAST YOU HAVE LEARNT TO LIKE FAILURE, hell you don’t even see them laughing and pointing at YOU THE FREAK, do you, because you could not stand it, could you, so have invented all of this victim shit to ‘make it ok’, AND MAKE YOURSELF AND EVEN BIGGER FREAK…

SO MY FINAL (FINAL) WORD TO YOU THE UNHELPABLE IS THIS, MUCH AS I WILL MAKE LITTLE ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN IT, IT MUST HIT YOU AS A GIFTED SHOCK WHEN YOU READ IT AS IT CANNOT BE FIXED BY REMOTE LEARNING – UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS OF ‘VICTIMHOOD’, IT IS THE WAY THAT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ STOPS YOU WITH COMFORTING YOU WHEN YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY TRIED AND FAILED TO CHANGE, THE WAY IT HAS STOPPED YOU EVER TRYING AGAIN. BEING A VICTIM IS SO COMFORTING BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE CLEVER NOT TO TRY AGAIN, BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW BETTER – IT IS THE ULTIMATE FANTASY, A BIZARRE ‘DEFENSE AGAINST REAL LIFE’ BY CHASING CHEAP THRILLS AS YOUR ONLY POINT, ONLY GOOD. 

SEE BEING A ‘WILLING VICTIM’ IS A GRAVESTONE BECAUSE IT HAS MADE IT ‘ACCEPTABLE FOR YOU’ TO BE ‘SHIT’. IF, AFTER READING ALL OF THIS YOU STILL CAN’T BRING YOURSELF TO TRY ITS BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE A VICTIM OF SOMETHING OR SOMEONE (SOME KIND OF ‘MENTAL OR EMOTIONAL DISABILITY’ THAT WAS DONE TO YOU), THAT HAS RUINED YOUR LIFE, SO ITS ‘NOT YOU FAULT’. THE WAY YOU CAN TELL FOR SURE IS THAT YOU TRY AND TURN OTHERS INTO VICTIMS TO KEEP YOU COMPANY AND MAKE YOU FEEL A BIT BETTER, TO ‘MAKE IT RIGHT’ BY MAKING ‘A COMMUNITY’ OF IT OUT OF THE WEAKER MEMBERS OF ‘THE HERD’ WHO GO ALONG FOR A CHEAP THRILL, EVEN WHEN IT IS OBVIOUSLY BOLLOCKS. 

IT IS JUST THE EASY WAY OUT – TO BLAME OTHERS FOR BEING SHIT YOU IS THE MOST PATHETIC, CHILDISH PATTERN OF THEM ALL, BECAUSE THEN YOU ‘THE CHILD HAS WON’, AND CAN DO WHATEVER IT LIKES WITH YOUR DUMB ASS, FOREVER. SEE THEN YOU CAN BECOME A MONSTER, A HITLER, A STALIN, A CHARLES MANSON, A DAVID KORESH, A CUNNING PSYCHO WITH A GOOD HEART, AS IT JUSTIFIED AS YOUR ‘REVENGE ON THIS WORLD’. SO GO TO THE DOCTOR AND GET SOME PILLS, BEFORE YOU START TO FANTASIZE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LITTLE GANG ‘TAKING OVER THE WORLD’ AND MAKING THEM ‘WRONG’, AND YOU, THE FUCKED UP LITTLE POWER CRAZED DORK, ‘RIGHT’… 

THE WORSE BIT IS SIMPLE – BEING A VICTIM IS A PRETENSE, SO EVERYTHING BECOMES A PRETENSE, A CON – YOU BECOME THE VERY DEFINITION OF ‘BAD FAITH’, THE CLEVER, CUNNING LITTLE 2 FACED RAT WHO JUST SAYS AND DOES WHAT WORKS IN THE MOMENT WHILST THINKING THEY ARE SOOOO SMART AND CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING. YOU MUST SHOCK YOUR WAY OUT OF THAT, AND YOU MUST FIND A WAY TO BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME, OTHERWISE NOTHING IS REAL, SO YOUR CHANGE WILL NOT BE REAL EITHER –

YOU CAN NEVER TELL THE TRUTH, BECAUSE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT THAT IS, RIGHT AND WRONG IS ABOUT ‘WINNING’ TO YOU, NOT THE TRUTH. ALL THAT MATTERS TO YOU IS THAT YOUR ‘LIES APPEAR RIGHT’, AND YOU APPEAR TO BE GOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE RIGHT, CLEVER, SO YOU BECOME OBSESSED WITH BEING PUBLICALLY RIGHT, YOU ATTACK OTHERS JUST TO FEEL RIGHT, POWERFUL FOR A MOMENT. YOU DON’T WANT TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOU DON’T NEED TO CHANGE, YOU ARE SO DELUSIONAL THERE IS NOTHING IN YOU THAT EVEN KNOWS WHAT CHANGE IS…

ALL OF THIS IS RARE IN GIFTED (YOUR CONSCIENCE WILL INTERVENE AT SOME POINT), BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, IT A HARD ROAD BACK, AND IN ANIMALS THERE IS NO WAY BACK, BECAUSE THERE IS NO CONSCIENCE LEVEL. I, like every other teacher on this planet, wash my hands of you, you must find a way to FIX IT yourself, BY FACING IT AND ADMITTING TO IT, otherwise you WILL remain FULL OF YOU THE CHILDS SELF SERVING, OBVIOUS, LOW QUALITY SHIT, FOREVER.

NOW THE REASON I HAVE CHOSEN TO END ON SUCH A CHILLING NOTE ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS NOT THAT COMMON IS SIMPLE – VICTIMS CAN NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEMSELVES AND OWN UP TO FAILURE, EVEN OUT OF STUPIDITY. EVERYTHING A VICTIM SAYS IS A SITUATIONAL LIE, THEY CANNOT BE HONEST AND SEE NO REASON TO TRY BECAUSE THEY CHANGE ALL THE TIME BY ADOPTING A DIFFERENT LIE, THEY ARE ‘MENDACIOUS’. IN MANY WAYS IT IS THE ULTIMATE FORM OF CHILDISH NARRCISIM – THAT I’M RIGHT BECUASE I SAID SO, AND THINK I AM CLEVER ENOUGH TO CONVINCE OTHERS SO I CAN GET AWAY WITH IT PUBICALLY, EVEN IF THE OTHERS KNOW I’M WRONG THEY WILL STILL GO ALONG TO GET ALONG. 

BUT IF YOU CANNOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, THEN YOU CANNOT CHANGE, YOU CANNOT ADMIT YOUR CURRENT PATTERNS ARE WRONG, WEAK, DEGENERATE, THAT YOU THE CHILD WAS WRONG, SHIT, SO YOU SEE NO REASON TO CHANGE. SO I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO GET PASSED ANY TENDENCY IN YOURSELF TO ALWAYS THINK YOU WERE RIGHT IN SOME WAY, AND LEARN HOW TO ADMIT TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS WHEN YOU ARE WRONG, OR EVEN JUST WHEN YOU COULD OF DONE SLIGHTLY BETTER, FRANKLY.

THAT IS HOW YOU WILL ESCAPE YOUR TENDENCY TOWARD MEDICORITY IN ALL THINGS, AND DEVELOP A TENDENCY TOWARD ELITISM, CONSCIOUSLY – SO ‘BLAME’ YOU THE CHILD AND ‘CHANGE’, IT WAS NOT THE WORLD, IT WAS YOU THAT MADE ALL THESE MISTAKES. OWN UP TO THEM AS WRONG, AS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, CONSCIOUSLY, STOP LETTING YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK FOR BEING NOTHING, JUST ‘STOP JUSTIFYING’ THAT NOTHING INSTEAD, RECOGNIZE THAT FAILURE IN YOU, THEN YOU WILL START..

BUT DON’T GET HUNG UP ON THIS AS ANOTHER REASON TO ‘NOT START’, SEE IT AS AN EASY WIN INSTEAD – START SMALL WITH SMALL FAULTS AS PROOF POINTS THAT YOU CAN DO IT. DO IT AS A SIMPLE WAY TO DEVELOP YOUR WILL TO DO IT, EVEN IF THAT IS JUST SHOWING TO SOME ONE, WHOS OPINION OF YOU MATTERS TO YOU ENOUGH, THAT YOU ARE ‘STRONG ENOUGH’ TO ADMIT YOUR FAULTS WITHOUT JUSTIYING THEM, CAVEATING THEM A WAY AS SOME SORT OF GOOD THING – THE MILITARY USE IT TO THIS DAY TO SUSS OUT ANY APPTITUDE FOR ‘COMMAND RESPONSIBILITY’, IT IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

YES, ITS NOT A JOB INTERVIEW QUESTION TO BE MANAGED WITH MORE LIES, ITS THE BEGINNING OF CHANGE, BY DEVELOPING ‘THE STRENGTH TO CHANGE’ SHOULD YOU NOT HAVE AN ALPHA BONE IN YOU BODY – THE TENDENCY TOWARD VICTIMHOOD IS IN US ALL AS CHILDREN, YOU MUST BURN IT OUT, IT IS THE ULTIMATE FORM OF WEAKNESS, THE BOTTOM RUN OF THE LADDER IN EVEN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM, A FORM OF SUICIDE.

YOU CANNOT MAKE A SUCCESS OF SLAVERY TO YOU THE CHILD, YOU MUST KILL IT, JUST LIKE THAT FRENCHWOMAN ABOVE DID BY FACING IT, WHAT IT HAS DONE TO YOU. SO ADMIT TO WHAT YOU DON’T WANT IN YOURSELF ANYMORE BECAUSE OF WHAT IT HAS DONE TO YOU, SO YOU WILL CONSCIOUSLY REMEMBER THAT ADMISSION WHEN IT TRIES TO HAPPEN AGAIN. IF YOU CONTINUE TO JUSTIFY IT THEN IT WILL JUST KEEP HAPPENING, AND YOU WILL GO ROUND IN EVER DECREASING CIRCLES, LIKE NOW…

Don’t see this exercise as some sort of Catholic Confessional, see it as a simple way to get STRONGER, so if someone laughs then you just bare that FOR THE GREATER GOOD IT IS DOING YOU – IT IS AN EMOTIONAL GYM SESSION. Folks like me welcome this ability in you, AS WE USE IT AS A TEST FOR VICTIMHOOD, FOR WEAKNESS, all the time, AS THE STRENGTH TO DO THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TESTS FOR THE ABILITY TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, for any ABILITY YOU HAVE TO CHANGE. So POSITION IT AS AN EASY WAY TO GET STRONGER, make a pre-planned event of it, AS THE START OF YOUR NEW ‘ROLE OF THE ELITIST’, and then you may start to understand what that word actually means – TO CHASE QUALITY IN EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH.

See the reason folks like me give you these simple processes at your level is that they are HARD TO START, but easy to continue once you start. You will then feel the effect over time WITH LITTLE EFFORT, FEEL THE STRENGTH THAT COMES FROM THIS EXERCISE, so you DO MORE OF THE OTHER STUFF AS YOU NOW HAVE SOME FAITH IN THIS. As an animal all you really have as a mechanism for change is REPETITION, so we must get you to repeat little wins, BABY STEPS, with no or low risk to you the childs ego, THAT IS HOW YOU START THIS, SO THAT IS HOW YOU ‘WIN’ ENOUGH TO MAKE A ROLE OUT OF IT, with NO BIG THREAT to your CHILISH EGO DEFENCES THAT WOULD KICK IN AND STOP YOU OTHERWISE.

That is the genius of THIS APPROACH for HEDONISTS LIKE YOU – ITS ALL UPSIDE, ONCE YOU HAVE FORCED YOURSELF PASSED THE 1ST TIME, and you can do that, YOU CAN TRY ANYTHING ‘ONCE’. So DO IT, PICK A TIME AND PLACE AND ADMIT TO SOME MISTAKE you made, its easy, ONCE YOU START. It is way better to FIND A ROUTINE OF STARTING ‘YOURSELF’, that fits in with you, THAN HAVE SOMETHING FORCED ON YOU WHEN DESPERATE LATER. So plan it, decide what you are going to say, even if it is just minor thing about yourself in your job that you are frustrated with, anything really, AS LONG AS YOU USE IT TO MAKE CONSCIOUS YOU STRONGER THAN THE UNCONSCIOUS YOU THAT IS THE PROBLEM.

That is the point of all ‘routines of starting’, TO DISOWN YOUR OLD SELF – THE MORE YOU DO IT, THE EASIER IT BECOMES, THE BETTER YOU FEEL. Then make this the core of THE ROLE – THEN YOU CAN START PROPERLY, WITHOUT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ DOMINATING EVERY LITTLE CORNER OF YOUR MIND. SERIOUSLY, HOW MUCH MORE HELP DO YOU NEED THAN THIS, are you waiting for a bloody POP UP BOOK..? Then why are you STILL waiting…

Ahhh, so some of you will start I SEE, but I also see that hardcore 1/3rd of the some of the best candidates still smiling smugly at the back of the bus, tipping each other the wink, whilst wondering how much they should betray each other in order to protect them from THE MAN, when he comes around – YOU ARE STILL LOST IN YOUR DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR, YOUR SECRETS AND LIES OF BEING SPECIAL, OF BEING JUST FINE, OF BEING CLEVER AND POWERFUL. See you have too much INERTIA, TO MUCH VICTIMHOOD, you have no compelling need to change RIGHT NOW, NO URGENCY, NO SUFFERING, everything in life is just to easy. (*Yawn……)

So do you want me to HELP YOU WITH THAT TOO – DO YOU STILL WANT ME TO BE ‘THE INTERVENTION’ YOU SO DESPERATELY CRAVE, because you are simply too weak and stupid to start BY YOURSELF, YOU CAN ONLY DO WHAT ‘THE HERD’ DO, BEING REAL YOU IS JUST TOO ‘BLOODY TERRIFYING’, your banal self destruction is just so ‘familiar and comforting’, like a shit stained old blanket that actually smells good to you..? Well, you are most likely JUST AN ANIMAL THEN, but maybe not, MAYBE THE SUPERNATURAL STILL HAS SOMETHING TO OFFER YOU, late at night, when you actually wish the black out would just come already…

Ok then… just for you, best buckle up bitch, but don’t be surprised if it not what you think it is, because you don’t need what you think you do, its actually the unconscious YOU THE CHILD that needs a lesson in manners, AS YOU APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP VERY, VERY POORLY INDEED. ‘Shame on your parents’, I say, not your fault of course, sure you have practiced your excuses but really my dear, not even an ounce of class in sight, no wonder your such a dramatic little puddle of piss, so lost in THE FEAR OF EVERYTHING, eh. (cue long, overly dramatic Siggghhhhhhhhhhhhh, then rye smile, nod and wink – well, you have to keep it real don’t you, so maybe you need to see what REAL LOOKS LIKE…).

Don’t worry, I’m not going to hard shock you into GROWING UP – YOU ARE NOT WORTH THAT KINDA EFFORT – but you are obviously so subservient, so seasoned to your slavery YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE A ‘GOOD LITTLE SLAVE’, as your whole sense of reality is based on this as ‘all there is’, YOU HAVE BOUGHT THE ILLUSION COMPLETELY. So you must see that the folks who actually run the world, frankly even many of the great and good in this world SEE YOU AS LITTLE MORE THAN AN EARTH WORM, and no matter which bit of society you inhabit, which little ‘herd’ you run with, pro-establishment or anti-establishment really does not matter, ITS ALL SLAVERY. Its just that you need to understand THAT YOUR HERD AND THE SAFETY IT PROMISES IS ALL AN ILLUSION, as then you will know WHY YOUR LIFE IS SHIT, because you will understand why you think you are fine, when you are LOST…

See you people, the ones who it is not even worth trying to teach rationally, all share one fatal characteristic, THAT HAS MADE YOUR LIFE SHIT – YOU LIE ALL THE TIME, SO YOU HAVE NO HONOR, YOU ARE LITERALLY FULL OF SHIT. By lying here I mean ‘speaking a conscious falsehood’, in a black is white type way, not avoiding the truth, or talking around in circles, or justifying why you can’t tell the truth, which we all do to get by. No, You lie when ‘you don’t need to’, consciously, which becomes a pattern so deep it becomes unconscious, SO YOU LIE TO YOURSELF MOST OF ALL and everything becomes FAKE BECAUSE ITS EASIER TO SAY WHATEVER AND INVENT THE TRUTH. Folks like me test for this early, by being very open and telling you I know some little truth about you but ask you to tell ME anyway, there is nothing to lose, BUT YOU LIE ANYWAY, AS YOU ARE COMPELLED TO LIE – so your personal honor is gone, further conversation is pointless.

See this is how you DESTROY YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR CONSCIENCE, LITTLE BY LITTLE, but often almost totally by the time you are 30 y/o. SO YOU HAVE BECOME A NASTY, 2 FACE TWAT, and everyone you know then knows it, AS THEY WILL SENSE YOUR FALSENESS ON YOU – FALSE PERSONALITY, FAKE YOU THE CHILD IS MADE OF LIES YOU HAVE MEMORISED, and when that takes you over completely IT A POWERFUL SMELL. You will never do anything DIFFERENT, CAUSE ITS ALL A LIE TO START WITH, THE CONCEPT OF BEING DIFFERENT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN CONCEPTUALIZE, AS BEING DIFFERENT TO YOU IS JUST ANOTHER PUBLIC LIE, WHILE YOU SIT THERE AT THE BACK OF THE BUS, all cunning and clever like an ugly little baby demon, basking in your secrets of no secrets. See even when you try and develop yourself its all just another clever con for you to trade off for your own benefit, AS YOU TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF NOW. 

So, obviously, WHEN NOBODY TRUSTS A WORD YOU SAY THEN YOU NEED ‘AN INTERVENTION’, its all that is left but which very few people will do these days, including me. However, (and don’t tell anybody) every now and again I fit one in, just to see what happens, cause unlike the others of my ilk, all focused on keeping their numbers up with the educated, motivated students, sometimes I feel compelled to return the favor that was done for me, all those years ago. But don’t thank me yet, AS YOU REALLY WON’T ENJOY IT, I know I didn’t, it half killed me, but then I was way more badass than you, so being half killed was no biggie. See I knew I needed it, BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT I HAD BECOME, so I welcomed it, BUT YOU WON’T, cause you are STILL DELUSIONAL – AT YOUR LEVEL OF A CHILDLIKE ANIMAL THE ONLY THING THAT WILL REACH YOU IS ‘FEAR’, you have built a world out of being controlled by OBLIGATIONS, otherwise you do nothing, do you. 

See, I ALREADY KNEW HOW THE WORLD WORKED, BUT YOU DON’T, YOU THINK ITS ALL QUID PRO QUO CULTURE, that is the main reason you think lying works so well, THAT BEING A WHORE WORKS FOR YOU, hell you think its a superpower, FREE MONEY. So you don’t see what is actually happening cause YOU LIE TO YOURSELF, all whores and killers do, BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO. But BEST know, once you have moved on, ALL DEVELOPED GIFTED ARE COMPELLED TO ‘REVISIT THE PAST’ when they get older, a sort of ‘CLEANING UP THE MESS’ exercise, much as they take no responsibility for YOUR KIND – how you responded to my PRESENCE IS ‘DOWN TO YOU’, you could of easily of made better choices. SO THERE IS NO DEBT OF HONOR TO SPEAK OFF, what happens, happens, and will need to happen anyway, its just better that it is me to do it, if you can understand that, as I KNOW ‘WHY’. 

Wonder how you will react, eh, LOST IN SOME PERSONAL TERROR, bet you will beg and scream like a middle class coke head when all your ‘chemical confidence’ has departed, but no matter – would you like to FIND OUT what it feels like to BE ‘A MESS’ THAT IS ‘CLEANED UP’, trust me, you will never be the same again. Yes, I KNOW SOME OF YOU I ONCE KNEW HAVE USED THIS BLOG TO GET OFF YOUR OWN LITTLE CHOO CHOO TRAIN to OBLIVION like said Frenchwoman, and I’m proud of ya – YOUR CLEVERNESS HAS GONE – but some of you have not, so your mess remains to be WASHED AWAY. Please don’t see this as development, it is not, it is simply doing for you what you cannot do for yourself, TO BREAK ‘YOU THE CHILD’, so you KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF and STEP UP – TO ‘FIX YOU’.

It is actually FUN FOR YOU really, in a ‘BREAKING OUT OF JAIL TO BE FINALLY FREE’ type way, but sadly you WON’T feel that until afterwards – UNSCHOOLED GIFTED ‘SLAVES’ NEVER WANT THE HELP THEY NEED – so see it clear, ‘if you lose your head and give up, you neither LIVE nor WIN, that’s just the way it is’, AND THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, LONG AGO. If, after reading everything above, YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE SECRETLY CLEVER, AT ALL, IN ANYWAY, EVER, as opposed to a walking talking EMBARRASSMENT WHO SMELLS LIKE SHIT AND CURSES EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH, then best stop reading – what is going to happen was going to happen anyway, so best not to know, EH.

NOTHING IS SAD UNTIL ITS ‘OVER’, BUT WHEN ITS OVER EVERYTHING IS SAD, SO LOST LITTLE ‘YOU’ IS SAD, AS YOU ‘KNOW’ YOU’RE ‘OVER’…

YES, ALL YOUR CHOICES ARE BAD AS A KID, BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO MAKE THEM, SO YOU LEARN BY NOT FORGETTING THAT ‘FUCK UP’...

SO YOU MUST TRY HARDER TO REMEMBER, OTHERWISE YOU JUST DEGENERATE, SO ITS EVEN HARDER TO TRY TOMORROW…

KNOW IF YOUR ABSTRACT THINKING FEELS ‘URGENT’, STOP THINKING IT AND GIVE ORDERS TO YOURSELF INSTEAD…

SEE YOU ARE A FOOL – THE DISSIPATION OF YOUR PRECIOUS ENERGY IS WHAT HAS MADE YOU ‘OVER’.

SO JUST FOR YOU LOT – sure, YOU ARE RIGHT LITTLE GIRL, we are all here for a ‘good time’, not a ‘long time’, we know we have lost the day we are born, BUT SEEMS TO ME YOU HAVE MISSED THE POINT OF THAT, REPRESSED IT, otherwise you would stop ‘BEING DEAD INSIDE’ while ‘LOSING’, and use your remaining time to ‘LIVE & WIN’, for the ‘THRILL’ of the BETTER THAN.

SO LETS KEEP THIS LAST BIT SUPER BASIC SHALL WE, JUST LIKE YOU DON’T REALIZE YOU ARE… 

YEP – LETS DO THIS, so Amen, and BE LUCKY bitch – notice your LUCK IN ALL THINGS, IN EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU, however small, however good or bad, connect it to ‘WHO YOU ARE’ IN THAT MOMENT which is ‘WHAT YOU WERE THINKING IN THAT MOMENT’ – frankly for the worst of you it is all you have left TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO CHANGE.

See the greatest trick to motivation is not suffering, discipline, urgency, much as they all play a big part after you have started, THEY ARE EMPTY OF THE KEY EMOTIONAL CONTENT THAT IS THE DESIRE TO CHANGE ‘TO’ SOMETHING, INSTEAD OF AWAY FROM SOMETHING, WHICH ONLY REALLY WORKS WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING ALL THE TIME – YOU MUST WANT ‘TO FEEL THE WIN’ TO CHANGE PRO-ACTIVELY, CONSTANTLY, POWERFULLY, BECAUSE YOU GET A TASTE FOR WINNING AS OPPOSED TO LOSING ALL THE TIME. THEN CHANGE WILL BE ON YOUR MIND ALL THE TIME – TO BE DIFFERENT FOR A POSITIVE REASON THAT AFFECTS YOU IN THE NOW, YOUR LUCK IN ALL THINGS, YOUR MOJO, YOUR STYLE, YOUR CLASS, AS IT PRECEDES YOU INTO EVERY ROOM YOU ENTER AND OFTEN DECIDES EVERYTHING BEFORE ‘YOU’ EVEN ARRIVE…  

THE GREATEST TRICK FOR SUPER BASIC FOLK LOST IN THEIR BIOLOGY, THIER THOUGHTS, THEIR LOW QUALITY BULLSHIT, IS YOUR BAD LUCK!

YOU HAVE A ‘MOMENTARY WHY’ BEHIND THAT BAD LUCK, SO YOU NEED TO FIND THAT WHY AS THE DESIRE ‘TO CHANGE IT AND WIN’,

SEE YOU MUST REALIZE IN THE NOW THAT YOU ARE LOSING ALL THE BLOODY TIME BY PROVING IT TO YOURSELF, NOTICING, EVERY MIN,

SO START TO PUSH YOUR LUCK IN EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO EITHER WAY AT THE START, NOTICE WHAT HAPPENS, KEEP SCORE.

HOWEVER SHOCKING IT IS WHEN YOU SEE IT, THAT LUCK IS SPIRITUAL, IT IS ‘YOUR QUALITY’, YOUR VALUE, YOUR POWER.

THEN YOU WILL FIND A HOOK INTO THIS PROCESS, THE REALIZATION OF ‘THE POWER OF YOUR SPIRIT’, IN DAILY LIFE.

EVERYTHING IS A ‘FORM OF LUCK’, EVERYTHING, SO FIND A WAY INTO TO MANAGING THIS FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT!

AND THEN YOU WILL KNOW THAT YOU LOSE A LITTLE BIT MORE OF THAT SPIRITUAL SELF RESPECT THAT IS LUCK EVERYDAY AS AN ANIMAL, AND THATS A BAD THING, BECAUSE IT IS ALL THAT KEEPS YOU OUT OF THE FIRE EVERYDAY, UNLESS YOU CHANGE AND BECOME SOMETHING BETTER.

This realization comes from understanding WHAT ‘bad luck’ is AT ITS CORE – ‘ACTIVE SABOTAGE OF WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO’ – then quickly understanding it is ALL actually SELF-SABOTAGE, that YOU THE CHILD IS DOING THIS TO YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY BECAUSE YOU WANT IT TO. See YOU HAVE TRAINED IT OVER DECADES TO PROVIDE ‘THE ANXIETY YOU NEED TO GET RELIEF FROM’, AS THAT IS WHERE ALL THE PLEASURES YOU CRAVE SO MUCH ACTUALLY COME FROM – without anxiety all these petty reliefs would HAVE NO VALUE AT ALL TO YOU! Maybe then, if you want to be actually clever, you will realize YOU ARE UNLUCKY, YOU ARE LOSING ‘ALL THE TIME’, and WANT TO CHANGE THAT LUCK SO YOU CAN WIN – ITS CALLED ‘AMBITION’.

See SLAVES DON’T HAVE AMBITION TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’, BUT INDIVIDUALS ALL DO, so they PAY ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES. 

ITS NOT HARD REALLY – IF YOU PAY ATTETION TO BAD LUCK AND REALIZE THAT WHEN ALL THE BAD THINGS ‘HAPPEN TO YOU’, EVEN IF IT IS JUST BEING ACCIDENT PRONE, FRIDGE BLIND, OR CURSED WITH BAD RELATIONSHIPS, JOBS, HOUSES, CARS, RANDOM STRANGERS, it is because YOU ARE ‘FORGETFUL IN THAT MOMENT’ – CONSCIOUS YOU WAS NOT ACTUALLY THERE AT THE TIME, ‘IT’ WAS DRIVING. And that may well hit you hard enough TO WANT TO TAKE SOME INTEREST IN YOURSELF, INTO WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING MOMENT TO MOMENT, and so STOP IT FROM DRIVING, AND TAKE THE WHEEL YOURSELF, which is the BEGINNING OF THE AMBITION TO CHANGE from a harmless LOSER to BEING GIFTED, instead…

SO WHICH ARE YOU LITTLE GIRL – think you can make that jump from ‘BANAL EXISTING’ to ‘GIFTED LIVING’, the life of the LUCKY?

See, on a personal note, without that GIFTED LUCK I’d ALREADY be dead 10 times over by now, AT THE HANDS OF THE BAD PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD, THE ANIMALS AND THE PARASITES. SO YOU SIMPLY DECIDE YOU WANT TO START WINNING, instead of putting up with tedious shite from animals, and UNDERSTAND THAT STARTS WITH THE AMBITION ‘TO BE FREE’ TO CHOOSE ‘YOUR OWN LIFESTYLE’, by fixing everything that is stopping that…

AS A BASIC BITCH THE GREATEST ‘WHY’ YOU WILL EVER FIND AS MOTIVATION TO CHANGE AT THE START IS THE REALIZATION THAT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS A ‘CURSE’ ON YOUR LIFE, IT IS ‘BAD LUCK’. IF YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A HEDONIST, TAKE AN INTEREST IN YOUR LUCK, BECAUSE YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT ‘GOOD LUCK IS WINNING’, BAD LUCK IS LOSING.

THIS IS HOW YOU START – YOU DON’T NEED TO BE ‘SPIRITUAL’, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE ‘GOOD’, YOU JUST NEED TO BE MUCH, MUCH ‘LUCKIER’, AS YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’. THIS IS HOW YOU ‘TRY’ TO CHANGE, BY FIRST ‘TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR LUCK’ AS YOUR ‘WHY’ – YOU WILL QUICKLY FIND THAT ‘ELITISM’, ‘CLASS’ MAKES YOU ‘LUCKIER’. SEE ‘LUCK’ IS THE BEST WAY INTO THE POWER OF SUPERNATURAL, THE BEST CONCEPT TO START WITH AS NOT ONLY IS IT REAL, YOU CAN EASILY SEE THAT IT DOMNATES YOUR WHOLE LIFE – BAD LUCK WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU, WHEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH OF IT.

IF NOTHING ELSE YOU WILL SEE JUST HOW BIG A FUCK UP YOU ARE, RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE YOU HAVE SIMPLY NEVER BOTHERED TO ‘GROW UP’ – YOU HAVE ACCEPTED ‘BAD LUCK’ AS NORMAL. Yes, YOU LIVE IN A ‘WITCHES CURSE’, a form of ENCHANTMENT WHERE EVERYTHING IS MUCH WORSE THAN ‘IT SHOULD BE’, its just that WITCH is A SADISTIC LITTLE KID THAT LIVES INSIDE YOU, who tortures you with anxiety as a simple PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR UTTER STUPIDITY OF ‘WANTING IT’ BECAUSE YOU WANT RELIEF FROM IT AS ‘PLEASURE’ – YOU HAVE NO ‘CLASS SYSTEM’ TO ‘JUDGE THAT STUPID DESIRE AGAINST’. 

So YOU must KILL HER, by which I mean ‘RETIRE’ THOSE CHILDISH PATTERNS OF ‘FALSE INSTINCT’ BY ‘REPLACING’ THEM, like that Frenchwoman did, DISEMPOWER THEM IN THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY by using the THE ENERGY THEY STEAL FROM YOU TO POWER THE PATTERNS OF ELITISM instead, THE ‘PATTERNS OF CHANGE’, that your society has stolen from you – THE PATTERNS YOU ALREADY HAVE BUT HAVE REPRESSED BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD THEY ARE BAD. See without them, WITHOUT THOSE REAL INSTINCTIVE PATTERNS YOUR EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY HAS ‘GIFTED YOU’, it is VERY DIFFICULT TO GROW UP, so never feel bad for being them, WHAT YOU ARE NOW IS SIMPLY A PERVERTED ‘REACTION AGAINST THEM’, so just ACCEPT them instead… 

Then much later on, WHEN YOU HAVE DEVELOPED YOURSELF, you can burn that EVIL LITTLE KID, even the memory of IT, out of your soul FOREVER, AS YOU WILL BE A DIFFERENT ORDER OF LIFEFORM. You will have the power to ‘DO AS YOU WISH’, without ANY PATTERNS, without the need to know how to do it, as you now keep your POWER FOR YOURSELF, like a GODDESS – YOUR IMPROVED LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS WILL HAVE CHANGED YOUR PERCEPTION OF REALITY FOREVER, and you will look back at everything you are now as just another part of your childhood, whilst not even really remembering any of it.

SO ‘LEARN ELITISM’, NOW…

LEARN TO WIN VIA ‘PUSHING YOUR LUCK’, INSTEAD OF ‘PLEASING FOR HELP’, TO CHANGE FROM ‘THE FAKE WIN’ OF SECRET CLEVERNESS, AND TRY TO ‘ACTUALLY WIN’ VIA GOOD LUCK INSTEAD.

SO WORK ON YOUR LUCK – FIND AN EXISITNG ‘ELITIST HOOK’ IN YOURSELF THAT ‘FEELS ATTRACTIVE’ THEN START, UNDERSTANDING THE GUTLESS, LAZY, COMFORT SEEKING ‘TOOL IN YOU’ HATES IT.

LEARN ‘THESE PATTERNS OF CHANGE’ YOUR SOCIETY HAS ROBBED FROM YOU, SO YOU CAN ‘REMEMBER’ THEM, AND THEN REMEMBER TO DO THEM, CONSCIOUSLY AS ‘A ROLE’.

WITHOUT THEM YOU ARE DAMNED BY THE MEDICORITY OF FAKE LIBERALISM, OF ‘ACCEPTABLE FAILURE’, SO WITHOUT THESE PATTERNS YOU WILL NEVER GROW UP, AS YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO.

BUT WITH THEM YOUR FRAGILE, CHILDISH EGO ‘WILL BE PROTECTED’ FROM YOUR NEED TO CONFORM (TO WHAT?), TO PLEASE (FOR WHY?), AND TO COMFORT (TO WHO?), JUST LONG ENOUGH TO START.

THEN YOU MAY JUST GET STRONG ENOUGH TO STOP BEING ‘A GUTLESS PUSSY LOST IN A FANTASY WORLD’ ALL THE BLOODY TIME, DEVELOP SOME BOTTLE AND GROW THE FUCK UP…  

This is the front end of an intervention, DONE ‘KINDLY’, to dumb down GROWING UP TO YOUR LEVEL, or lack thereof, BUT now you need ‘TO BE PREPARED TO GO AGAINST YOURSELF’, and for folks like you, WHO HAVE LIED TO THEMSELVES FOR FUN, it is going to sting a bit, sorry. See you have to accept ‘YOU THE CHILD’ HAS LOST and for some of the most fucked up amongst you that is too bigger step, so someone has to PROVE THAT to you, as a KINDNESS, of course. You have one of the BAD key features, most likely YOU ARE LOST IN SELF PITY, THAT IT IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSES FAULT, AND YOU ONLY SEE YOUR FAULTS IN OTHERS AS A PROJECTION of your own childish character ON TO EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE – ‘YOU SPOIL’ THE WORLD AROUND YOU SIMPLY BY BEING THERE…

THE ISSUE IS THAT AS AN ACTUAL CHILD ‘GIVING UP YOUR OPINION’ FOR A BETTER ONE IS NOTHING, YOU DO IT MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY, AS YOU KNOW YOU KNOW NOTHING. But as a BIG KID WHO THINKS THEY ARE AN ADULT, a HABITUAL LIAR, doing that is hard, and when YOU have used it to justify horrible shit you’ve done to others IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO LET GO OF – the truth means you are a nasty, evil parasite, a creepy little sadist, a lazy comfort seeking middle-class addict. YOU CAN’T FACE THAT SHIT, can you, BECAUSE YOU THE CHILD HAS FAILED LIFE, yet ALL THIS TIME you thought you were clever, YOU DID NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH ‘THEY’ ALL HATED YOUR TOTAL LACK OF QUALITY, HUMANTITY, CLASS, you thought it was just ‘FUN’ TO BE A GUTLESS TWAT.

Yep, that CHANGE has to be DONE TO YOU, if its going to work and done HARD, AS A SHOCK. Ho-Hum… if it helps at all know there is some pretty big changes coming in this world, the dominance of the West is now threatened for the first time in 400 years, so I’d say working on being a little bit better than you are now IS NOT ONLY A GOOD THING IN ITSELF, you may find it makes the difference between THE SAVED AND THE DAMNED, as when your liberal society can no longer defend itself, then neither can you – there is a new world order coming, and yes, in the East they actually call it that, RIGHT NOW. But don’t worry, your secrets will die with you – YOU ARE A STATISTIC, no one will even look twice at how you died, let alone remember who you where, that is the price of all this SAFETY, to be ONE MORE NOBODY.

Be happy, in your little world you had a good run, sure you knew it was never going to last forever – IT NEVER DOES FOR ‘CLEVER LITTLE PEOPLE LIKE YOU’. When you get the ‘basics of life’, WHEN YOU REALIZE LIFE IS ALL ABOUT DEATH, then all of this gets much easier AS YOU WILL SEE YOU WERE NEVER CLEVER, YOU ARE A NARCISSISTIC FOOL, but getting that is HARD unless you are SHOWN IT. Sadly YOUR SOCIETY HIDES DEATH FROM YOU, ON PURPOSE, PARTICUARLY THE END OF YOUR LIFE, WHEN YOU ARE FORCED TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, LEFT IN A ROOM WITH NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT WAIT TO DIE, whilst trying to remember anything of what just happened, at least anything interesting…

So I’ll give you them now as ‘abstract facts’ and what they mean, just as DEAD WORDS ON A PAGE, so you get the point quicker when your shit finds you, and you GET THE REALIZATION THAT LIFE IS ONLY PRECIOUS BECAUSE OF DEATH, DEATH DEFINES EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOUR DEATH IS CERTAIN:

A. LIFE IS A VERY TEMPORARY STATE, WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE STUFF YOU NEED TO GET ON WITH, NOW – THE GIFTED ARE ON THE CLOCK, SO AS SOON AS YOU ENERGY STATE HAS DECLINED ENOUGH TO WEAKEN YOUR EGO YOU HAVE TO START, DON’T MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, DON’T MATTER WHAT YOUR JOURNEY WAS TO GET HERE, YOU MUST START ASAP…;

B. YOU DON’T DIE AT THE END OF LIFE, YOU ARE DYING ALL THE TIME UNLESS YOU ARE GROWING/CHANGING WHICH MEANS YOU DIE OF YOUR COMFORTS, SO MANY UNSCHOOLED GIFTED FOLK ‘DIE’ IN THEIR THIRTIES, BECOMING DESPERATE ROBOTS WHO KNOW SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG, BUT CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT WITHOUT THE EXTERNAL HELP OF A CLASS SYSTEM;

C. THIS PLANET IS HOSTILE TO HUMANS AND WILL KILL YOU FIRST CHANCE IT GETS, WHICH MEANS TO LIVE YOU NEED TO FIGHT WITH DEATH, BUT WORSE IS THAT MANY OF THE MOST HIGHLY GIFTED GO BAD EARLY AS A FORM OF PROTECTION – AS THE BIBLE SAYS, ‘ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG’ BECAUSE THE OVERTLY GOOD ARE ‘TARGETTED’ BY FORCES YOU DON’T BELIEVE EXIST, YET…;

D. THE ONLY POINT OF COMFORT (ALL FORMS OF SLEEP IN FACT) IS TO RECOVER YOURSELF AFTER THE FIGHT WITH DEATH WHICH MEANS WITHOUT THAT FIGHT, THAT EXPRESSION OF ENERGY, ALL COMFORT IS A FORM OF ACCELERATED DEATH – YOU ARE DECLINING, BECOMING LESS AND LESS, SO YOU ARE LESS AND LESS ABLE TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, AS YOU CAN’T DEFEND YOURSELF.

And what does all that mean then? THIS – RIGHT NOW YOU, WITH THE MINDSET OF A CHILD, ARE SIMPLY SITTING AROUND WAITING TO DIE, INDEED YOU ARE ACTUALLY CHASING DEATH AS COMFORT, OBLIVION – YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO DIE, PATICUARLY IF YOU CHASE ‘ANIMAL’ SEX AND VIOLENCE AS YOUR CHOSEN ADHD RESPONSES, CREATING AN IDEALIZED FANTASY TO HIDE THE MINI DEATH OF ENERGY WEAKNESS YOU FEEL AS A COMFORT.

See, all Ancient Rights Of Passage in this world, from the 1st Civilizations to a tiny little tribe in the Amazon have ONE THING IN COMMON – THEY SHOW YOU DEATH UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL so you ‘KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE’. TO PASS THOSE RITES YOU HAD TO ‘SURVIVE THEM’, then you did not NEED any further motivation to GROW UP, as you know THE WHOLE POINT OF LIFE IS ‘TO DELAY DEATH BY BEING CONSCIOUSLY ALIVE’, because you now know what is coming, sooner rather than later FOR YOU, around every corner, one drugged up driver at a time.

CRUCIALLY, YOU WILL NOT ONLY KNOW WHAT BEING ALIVE ‘MEANS’ IN THE CONTEXT OF NOT BEING ALIVE, WHICH MEANS NOT BEING SELF CONSCIOUS, YOU WILL ALSO HAVE A REFERENCE POINT TO SHOW YOU NO MATTER HOW BAD THE ANXIETIES OF A CHILD YOU WILL SUFFER FROM ‘TOMORROW’, THEY ARE NOTHING TO YOU, AS YOU KNOW ALL IS NOTHING COMPARED TO BEING DEAD, WHICH MEANS BEING UNCONSCIOUS IN THE MOMENT. INDEED MOST OF IT IS SO PATHETIC IT IS ACTUALLY FUNNY, WHICH IS WHY THAT FRENCHWOMAN LAUGHED OUT LOUD WHEN SEE SAW HERSELF CLEARLY FOR THE 1ST TIME. THEN YOU WILL SEE WHAT YOUR REAL ANXIETIES ARE ACTUALLY FOR, AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT COMFORT IS DEATH, BECAUSE COMFORT KILLS YOUR ENERGY OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS AND ‘PUTS YOU TO SLEEP’ CONSCIOUSLY WHICH IS A FORM OF DEATH.

SEE, WHEN ALL THE GREAT SAGES AND PROPHETS TALK ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH, THEY DON’T MEAN YOUR HEARTBEAT, THEY MEAN TO LIVE SELF-CONSCIOUSLY, OR TO DIE UNCONSCIOUSLY, HOWEVER MUCH YOU STILL APPEAR TO BE ALIVE… 

YES, THE REALIZATION OF DEATH MAKES YOU HYPER SELF-CONSCIOUS IN THAT MOMENT, IT CUTS THROUGH ALL YOUR CHILDISH MINDSET AND SHOWS YOU WHAT YOU ARE, SO YOU THEN GET A WHOLE STRING OF REALIZATIONS BASED ON ‘THE ENERGY EQUATION OF LIFE’, THE ENERGY OF CONSCIOUSNESS. CHASING THIS ENERGY IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT FOR THE GIFTED BECAUSE IT IS HOW YOU FEEL ALIVE, MORE AND MORE ALIVE, INSTEAD OF MORE AND MORE ‘DEAD INSIDE’, MUCH AS YOU THE CHILD PROJECTS THAT ONTO OTHERS AS SOMETHING YOU HATE, IT IS ACTUALLY WHAT YOU THE CHILD DOES TO YOURSELF. THEN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT CONSCIOUS LIFE IS CONFLICT, CHALLENGE, AND WHAT KEEPS YOU ASLEEP, KEEPS YOU STUCK AS A CHILD IS YOUR REJECTION OF CONFLICT, INDEED WHAT MAKES YOUR LIFE SHIT IS THAT CONSTANT REJECTION PUTS A TARGET ON YOUR BACK, AS EVERYONE WANTS TO ‘INSTINCTIVELY’ ATTACK, USE, DEGRADE  THOSE WHO NEVER HIT BACK, IT IS PART OF AN ANIMALS DNA. SO YOU LEARN TO HIT BACK VERY QUICKLY, YOU LEARN ‘CONSEQUENCE’, OR YOU CHOOSE THE LIFE OF A DOMESTICATED SLAVE ANIMAL.

BUT THE GREATEST ONE OF ALL IS THE SIMPLEST, EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL ONE, INDEED THE SAME ONE AS SAID FRENCHWOMAN – YOU WILL BECOME CONSCIOUS OF THE IMPRESSION YOU ARE CREATING IN REAL TIME BASED ON WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING, THE AWFUL INFANTILE BOLLOCKS OF IT, AND YOU WILL BE TOO EMBARRISSED TO GO ON BEING A CHILD. SEE THAT IS WHAT YOUR ‘CONSCIENCE INTERVENING’ LOOKS LIKE, FEELS LIKE, THAT MEANS YOU ARE GIFTED… 

SEE NORMALLY YOU ARE NOT CONSCIOUS OF WHAT YOU ‘DO IN THE DETAIL’, OF ‘THE DEVIL IN THE DETAIL’ WHICH IS WHERE THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION ACTUALLY LIES, YOUR FACE, YOUR TONE, YOUR MOVEMENTS. YOU ARE ONLY CONSCIOUS OF ‘YOUR SUFFERING OF SECRET CLEVERNESS’, HOW YOU FEEL AS A ‘WOODEN PATTERN REACTION’, AS ‘A MOOD SWING’, WHILE OTHERS ARE UNAWARE OF THAT, AND ONLY EXPEREINCE WHAT YOU DO AS WHAT YOU MEAN, SO WHO YOU ARE. YOU THEN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CANNOT COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY, AS ALL YOUR COMMUNICATION IS ‘MOOD DRIVEN’, INFECTED WITH DETAILS YOU DO NOT KNOW ARE THERE. WITHOUT OTHERS UNDERSTANDING THIS MOOD DRIVEN CONTEXT YOUR ‘MESSAGE’ IS A MESS, AND OFTEN MAKE LITTLE SENSE EVEN LOGICALLY, SO YOU UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR COMPASSION TO UNDERSTAND WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ACTUALLY MEAN, TO EMPATHIZE WITH THEIR LITTLE MOOD SWINGS.  

Yeah, all means nothing to you DOES IT, NO EMOTIONAL REACTION AT ALL, because you have no felt reference point of HOW SUDDEN DEATH FEELS, eh, shame, but never mind, you will, one day, MUCH AS AT THAT POINT, HOWEVER MUCH YOU REGRET NOT TRYING TO GROW UP ‘MY WAY’ AND WANT TO START, any chance you once had will be long gone. So something must force you to TRY, NOW, when all of this is just words on a page TO A BIG KID LIKE YOU – ALL ‘YOUR SHIT MUST FIND YOU’, otherwise your victimhood is just too comforting, too easy, AS THE DEATH IN IT IS HIDDEN FROM YOU.

So in the meantime, JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT, try and learn Elitism the ONLY WAY ‘THE SUPER BASIC LITTLE KIDS’ CAN – change your desire to WIN via your secret, fake cleverness, into PUSHING YOUR LUCK instead, TRY AND TURN IT INTO THE DESIRE TO ‘ACTUALLY WIN IN THE MOMENT’, if nothing else you will understand just how much you LOSE ALL THE TIME right now. Then you maybe embarrassed enough to understand you are NOT winning via secret cleverness, it is simply a FAKE COMPENSATION FOR LOSING ALL THE BLOODY TIME, as you have taught yourself to LIKE LOSING. SEE THAT IS WHAT A ‘DORK IS’, A ‘SLAVE TO THE COMFORT OF LOSING’ you had to INVENT AS A CHILD to comfort YOURSELF for the simple fact YOU ARE A GUTLESS TWAT, who was too scared to stick up for themselves in the PLAYGROUND, so CHOSE THE ‘COMFORTS OF A VICTIM’ INSTEAD = YOU ACTUALLY CHASE ‘A LIFE OF CONSTANT LOSING’.

Sure, in the playground I get it, I do… YOU HAD TO COMFORT YOURSELF FOR LOSING BACK THEN, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR THAT, BUT NOW, AS AN ADULT, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? DO YOU NOT SEE – YOU MANUFACTURE A LIFE OF CONSTANT LOSING VIA YOUR LEARNT PATTERN REACTIONS TO CHALLENGE SIMPLY TO FEEL THE COMFORTING DESIRES THAT YOU USE TO COMPENSATE FOR IT? The COMPENSATION FOR BEING A DORK HAS BECOME ‘THE POINT OF BEING A DORK’ FOR YOU? You do know you are going to be DEAD SOON, yes, that all of this is going to sting like fuck in your final few moments of life, when these delusions  of COMPENSATING FOR FAILURE AS A WAY OF LIFE leave you in the moment of death, WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU HAVE WASTED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ON A DELUSION YOU LEARNT IN CHILDHOOD IN ORDER TO COPE WITH FAILURE, SO YOU ACTUALLY CREATE THAT FAILURE ON PURPOSE?  

I know its NOT COMMON IN GIFTED, but before some of you clever Gifted types start telling me I’ve strayed into trying to teach animals again, JUST KNOW THAT YOU DO SEE IT MORE AND MORE IN ‘LOST SOULS’ THESE DAYS – it is being used as a type ‘liberal wokeness’ to make being gutless not only ‘acceptable’ but also as a form of ‘moral correctness for the weak’ (Sorry, Nietzche). FRANKLY I FUCKING HATE THAT CRAP SO MUCH ANYTHING I CAN DO TO STOP IT MAKES ME HAPPY – your SOCIETY HATES ITSELF, HATES EVERYTHING THAT MADE IT POSSIBLE, SO DESERVES WHAT IS HAPPENING TO IT. Just Try and See the illusion – TRY AND SEE WHAT A SUPER BASIC BITCH YOU ARE, BY TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON’T NORMALLY SEE ‘THE ILLUSION’ OF IT IN THE MOMENT OF IT HAPPENING, UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON’T THINK THAT ABOUT YOURSELF, why you think this COPING shit is COOL, at least when its secret – YOU ONLY EXPEREINCE LIFE IN MOMENTS, AND THOSE MOMENTS HAVE A VERY, VERY SMALL ‘TIMEFRAME’…

See this realization can help folks like you BACK AWAY FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD MISTAKES, once you understand that we understand them, SO YOU CAN TOO – THERE IS NO BLAME IN MAKING THEM, THE ONLY BLAME IS GOING ON WITH THEM. We know YOU STILL ‘WANT TO DANCE WITH THE ILLUSION’ (Sorry, Dua…), it may be the only magic in your life, SO YOU CLING ONTO IT FOR ‘DEAR LIFE’, just be assured YOU BOTH CAN GROW OUT OF IT, AND YOU WILL (REALLY) WANT TO GROW (THE HELL) OUT OF IT, when you see what it looks like to the rest of us, WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO YOUR OWN KIND.

See, we all wanted to Dance with Our Illusions, I personally put a solid 10-12 years of my life into that DANCE, until somebody showed me I only really wanted to dance with the FEELING OF THAT ILLUSION, NOT THE REALITY BEHIND THAT ILLUSION, a nasty, grubby, casually violent reality that I no longer saw, BUT WHEN I DID SEE IT I COULD NOT STOP THAT DANCE FAST ENOUGH. Once you SEE YOURSELF WITHOUT THE FEELING OF THE ILLUSION, you will understand what I mean, trust me – THAT ILLUSION IS A FAKE FEELING YOU CREATED IN ORDER TO FOOL YOURSELF, ON PURPOSE LONG AGO, WHICH IS WHY YOU ‘BELIEVE IT’. So its kinda stupid to base the rest of your life on chasing it, trapping yourself in the level of self conscious of a childlike, domesticated animal, for no benefit whatsoever…

But I know, its not enough is it, YOUR SHIT WILL STILL HAVE TO ‘HAPPEN TO YOU’, so just for now try take a moment and think this thought in a conceptual fashion – YOU HAVE BETRAYED YOURSELF, YOUR CONSCIENCE, BROKEN IT DOWN ON PURPOSE FOR DECADES, using all manner of perversions, ANIMAL COMFORTS, THRILLS, DRUGS, ADDICTIONS to OVER RIDE and weaken it, and replace it with this mess of pattern reactions THAT MASQUERADE AS A CHARACTER. Its ALL TOTALLY FAKE, you as a personality don’t actually exist, YOU, YOUR WHOLE CONSCIOUS LIFE IS A ‘FEVER DREAM’, while UNCONSCIOUS YOU does what it likes and laughs all the way to bank, AS YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT IT REALLY WANTS IS TO HUMILIATE YOU, NOT HELP YOU.

LEARN ‘TO DANCE WITH YOURSELF IN THE REAL WORLD’, NOT WITH THE EMPTY ILLUSIONS OF A CHILD, NOT WITH CHEAP TRICKS AND GUTLESS COMFORTS… So LEARN ELITISM, FAST – stop thinking with the empty echo chamber of a child and use your mind to give orders instead, help yourself for a change, eh. Then test it, test yourself for progress all the time, count up to 100 and back down again in your mind silently and see how many times your child tries to stop you, distract you so you have to start again. Its fun really, SHOULD MAKE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD WHEN YOU SEE JUST HOW BIG A KID YOU STILL ARE, or take the modern self help approach and learn some simple physical exercise from childhood from scratch, like jumping rope fast, JUST DON’T LET YOUR CHILD STOP YOU WITH EMPTY COMFORT, CHOOSE THE FELT COMFORTS OF ELITISM INSTEAD. See, when you realize you are ON A RIDE AND YOU WANNA GET OFF, it a good idea to slow down the roundabout, first, BEFORE YOUR SHIT HAPPENS – when that SHOCK COMES you will need to be able to stand against it, not curl up in a ball and cry, like you do now, CAUSE YOU ARE THAT SIMPLE.

So, as some of my last sentences in this whole blog, I will make them just as simple, just as basic as you, with no need for any mental effort at all, but no less true…

FEAR DOES NOT STOP DEATH, IT STOPS LIFE, YOUR DEATH IS INEVITABLE.

‘NO’ IS A SENTENCE, PERIOD, YOU DO NOT ADD A JUSTIFICATION ON THE END OF IT.

THE WORD ‘NICE’ COMES FROM THE OLD FRENCH NESCIUS, MEANING ‘HARMLESS IDIOT’.

THOSE WHO DON’T MOVE BY CHOICE NO LONGER NOTICE THAT THEY CAN’T MOVE ANYMORE.

WHEN PARASITES THINK THEY UNDERSTAND YOU THEY WILL WANT TO CONTROL AND DEGRADE YOU.

SHIPS LOOK SAFE IN THE HARBOUR, BUT THEY ARE ACTUALLY ROTTING AWAY FROM LACK OF PROPER USE.

WHAT YOU SEE AS ‘RUTHLESS’ IS A BASIC REQUIREMENT FOR EVERY ANIMAL TO SURVIVE PASSED ADOLESENCE.

WITHOUT DRUGS YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR LIFE IN A BAD MOOD FOR NO REASON BECAUSE YOU HAVE BECOME WEAK.

THE GIFTED CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT NOT EVERYTHING, MAKE YOUR CHOICE AND FOCUS ON IT, IT IS ALREADY TOMORROW.

AMBITION WITHOUT ACTION BECOMES MORE ANXIETY, SO YOU REPRESS ALL THE AMBITIONS YOU EVER HAD AS A GOOD THING.

FOLKS ONLY SEE WHAT YOU DID, NOT THE MOOD YOU WERE IN WHEN YOU DID IT, SO NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU SAID.

YOU DO NOT SEE ANYTHING IN YOUR WORLD AS IT REALLY IS, YOU SEE IT AS YOU ARE, AS A COLLECTION OF CHILDISH INTERPRETATIONS.

IF YOU WANT TO MAKE SHIT DECISIONS ASK A BUNCH OF SCARED, OPINIONATED FAILURES TO SHARE THE SHIT THEY LEARNT IN CHILDHOOD.

YOU’RE AVODING THE MAGIC YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU FEEL TOO WEAK TO TRY OR SACRIFICE TO GET IT, SO THAT MAGIC BECOMES YOUR SACRIFICE.

EVERY REACTION, EVERY URGE OF A CHILDISH MINDSET IS AN ATTEMPT AT EXTERNAL VALIDATION, YOU ARE AN ATTENTION SEEKING DORK DESPERATE FOR AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO COMFORT YOURSELF, SO SIT BACK, SHUT THE FUCK UP, OVERPOWER YOUR REACTIONS AND JUST LISTEN.

YOUR MINDSET OF FEAR MEANS MOST OF THOSE URGES ARE BASED ON REACTING TO EGOIC DANGER SO YOU WASTE YOUR LIFE WAITING FOR THE WORSE TO HAPPEN AND SO REACT TO IT EVEN BEFORE ITS HAPPENED, THEREBY ACCEPTING IT AND MAKING IT HAPPEN, IT IS THE PRISON YOU LIVE IN.

INSTEAD OF THAT LEARN TO IGNORE ‘YOUR REALITY’ AND CARRY OUT THE PLAN TO REACH THE BIG PICTURE GOAL YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY DISCOVERED YOU WANT/NEED TO DO, BY IMPLEMENTING THAT PLAN OVER THE NEXT 10SECS, WHILST LETTING ALL OTHER SHIT HAPPEN WITHOUT YOU NOTICING. 

DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET?

YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO YOUR OWN KIND, TO ME – CHANGE PLEASE. 

NO RISK NO STORY, NO GUTS NO GLORY, NO BLAME NO SORRY, NO FEAR NO WORRY, NO KID NO FOLLY…

SO SAY IT NOW, OUT LOUD – ‘YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, I AM WHO I CHOOSE TO BE, YOU CHILDISH LITTLE CUNT’.

MAKE THE MENTAL JUMP NOW – DISOWN YOUR ‘NO-CHARACTER’, YOU-THE-SCARED-LITTLE-KID, NOW.

KNOW ‘IT’ IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO GROW UP TO PROSPER, ALL ELSE IS JUST MORE HUMILIATION…

SO SET YOURSELF THE GOAL OF GROWING UP ‘SPIRITUALLY’, START BY NEEDING TO REPLACE WHO YOU ARE NOW…

KNOW IT’S URGENT RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT GO ON BEING WHO YOU WHERE AS A CHILD ANY LONGER.

MAKE AN EMBARRASSMENT OF YOUR OLD SELF. TO YOUR NEW CONSCIOUS SELF, LOOK BACK AT ‘IT’ FROM NEW YOU.

THIS IS HOW YOU DISOWN YOUR OLD SELF NOW, THIS IS HOW YOU BLAME ‘ITS PAST’, NOT ‘YOUR PRESENT’.

YOUR NEW PRESENT IS IN THE FUTURE, SO YOU PUT YOUR OLD PRESENT OF BEING ‘IT’ AS ‘IN THE PAST’.

THIS IS HOW YOU CREATE AND REDISCOVER YOUR FUTURE SELF, THE ONE WHO ALWAYS REMEMBERS.

SEE THIS IS WHAT YOUR GIFTED CONSCIENCE HAS BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR LITERALLY DECADES!

SO CALL YOUR NEW SELF ‘I’ AND CALL ‘IT’ YOUR ‘(GIVEN NAME)’, AND SEPARATE THEM.

SEE THAT ‘IT’ IS A GUTLESS TRAINWRECK, BUT ‘I’ AM AN ELITIST, THE FUTURE…

NOW YOU MUST FIGHT THE COMFORT OF ‘IT’, WITH THE QUALITY OF ‘I’.

AND YOU MUST USE YOUR INATE ‘CONSCIOUS LEVEL’ TO DO THAT.

YOU MUST FIND ‘THE SELF CONSCIOUS ENERGY’ TO DO THAT BY SAVING IT, BY NOT WASTING IT ON SEX AND VIOLENCE, AND THEN LEARNING HOW TO GENERATE MORE OF IT – SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS IS A ‘QUANTITY’.

See its not that I’m in BAD MOOD WITH YOU, I just don’t see the point in pandering to the EGO DEFENSES of CHILDREN ANYMORE, BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE YOU, MUCH AS I WANT TO. SO I DON’T WANT A TICKET TO YOUR SHITSHOW, I’ve seen it a thousand times before, AND WILL NOT COMMIT ANY FURTHER ENERGY TO DEAL WITH YOUR NEEDY ASS UNTIL YOU GROW UP. See, in the broad strokes THAT IS ALL YOU EVER WANT AS A BIG KID, THE ENERGY of your CLEVER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE NEXT FEW MINS, before the next little anxiety driven crash HITS, and your continual oscillation between these 2 banal emotional states makes you think you are STABLE, as its OCCUPIES the MIND OF A CHILD, all the bloody time – YOU ARE ‘TEDIOUS’…

But I have to say, WHO GIVES A FUCK – you appear to have reached your SELF-SERVING ‘BULLSHIT ALLOWANCE’, you LITTLE bitch, YOUR ‘PARASITIC WEAKNESS’ has betrayed you. So know this, one last time – THIS IS YOUR STATION, YOU TOXIC TRAINWRECK, so its time to get off, and FUCK OFF, go find the energy you need to survive the next 2mins someplace else like all the other parasites, YOU ARE CLEARLY JUST TO FUCKING CLEVER TO EVER GROW UP, eh, so what is the point of being kind to you any longer..? I don’t mean to be mean for no reason, I’m mean to be mean to FOREWARN you – the ENERGY YOU GET from YOUR VERSION OF THIS CONNECTION IS ABOUT TO END, so you might want to prepare yourself for that, as you are about to find out what it means to be ‘OVER’ – go on, have a panic attack, you’ve earnt it…

See, if you are one of ‘these’ people, who has to be ‘FORCED’ to do anything, so common in the modern world with all its hateful consumerism, then know that the realization of DEATH is pretty much it – when it dawns on you that you are actually counting backward from certainty, rather than counting forward into the unknown like a kid. See, I was one of YOU PEOPLE, so I know what I’m talking about, WHY I FOCUS ON ‘YOU THE UNHELPABLE’, as its why you are unhelpable. To paraphrase the immortal words of Marcus Aurelius, just imagine you are DEAD, right now, with no further options, no ability to go anywhere, do anything, see anything, say anything, then notice what you wish for emotionally, in your heart, and just get up, grow up, and go do it – IT IS YOUR POINT, should you have one.

After you have done that exercise a few times you will realize the main difference between US is that I HAVE THE BALLS FOR IT, and YOU DON’T, as I WAS born into a class system. Hopefully you will also see just how much of an EMBARRASSING TWAT you are NOW, and really WANT TO FIX THAT – DISOWNING YOUR OLD SELF WILL NOT ONLY BE EASY, IT WILL BE ESSENTAIL TO YOUR SURVIVAL, because it has become URGENT – YOU KNOW YOU WILL BE DEAD SOON, AND YOU KNOW WHAT DEAD ‘MEANS’. Indeed some you maybe even be able to see the ‘shadow of your destined death’, first thing in the am or last thing at night, as it slowly spreads across your face – we can, I ‘learnt’ in childhood, and its a very sobering experience, particularly when you meet new people, let me tell you.

Ahhh, I know, still not enough, eh, but don’t worry, ‘more than enough’ is coming, but the exercise of writing this blog is ending, as it has now served its purpose, and will be taken down shortly.  However much I’ve enjoyed TRYING different styles, approaches in the creation of these reference materials, I must agree with said Frenchwoman – it is my PRESENCE that makes it work, that ENERGIZES YOU to do it, so a one to one and small group element is essential TO HOOK YOU. Without that, even if the ANCIENT GNOSIS IN THESE WORDS BRIEFLY HITS YOU REMOTELY, AFTER READING, you simply forget it and go back to normal BECAUSE YOU LACK THE ENERGY TO KEEP HOLD OFF IT, and it becomes simply a phase you went through, WITHOUT CHANGING YOU AT ALL. I may yet try again one day, if I get smart enough, but for now this stuff will be kept for the folks who WANT TO KNOW, NOT CLEVER LITTLE FREAKS LIKE YOU.

So you maybe interested to know HER VIEW from that Frenchwoman on my infamous teaching style was this – ‘You know its a strange thing but looking back what helped me the most was that YOU WERE MEAN TO US, to our faces, even cruel sometimes, it was so different to normal counselling, self help shit it really hit me. I don’t know, it might just be me, but OVER TIME it actually made ME MEANER, it toughened ME up, WHICH GAVE ME THE ENERGY AND THE SKILLS ‘TO FIGHT’, I WANTED TO FIGHT, ‘TO WIN’. Never had that before, I was brought up to be nice, kind, to please, everyone is really, BUT BEING MEAN TO US WAS LIKE LOTS OF LITTLE ‘SHOCKS’, that build up on top of each other and stayed with me, ALMOST LIKE A SEX THING’.

After some thought, she then added – ‘Hope that makes sense, but it is actually slightly EROTIC, captivating, even some of the others said the same, like something in us responded EMOTIONALLY to it outside of our conscious mind.’ When I simply tilted my head and smiled back her eyes widened before exclaiming in French a phrase which roughly translates as ‘YOU OLD BASTARD…!’. I did then remind her that all change, at an ANIMAL LEVEL, HAS TO BE FUN, because it is PLAY, its just that THIS PLAY IS ACTUALLY DEADLY SERIOUS if it going to work, if YOU ARE GOING ‘TO LEARN FROM IT’, to which she LAUGHED and replied ‘So YOU ARE MY ‘MUSE’, you show me who I am, what I want EMOTIONALLY, through my CONNECTION to you?’, and I was suitably impressed.

Try and grasp what it means to be MEAN, which is the beginning of all RUTHLESSNESS – it is not about reacting negatively, IT IS ABOUT NOT REACTING AT ALL, IT IS ABOUT NOT CARING, ABOUT SEEING THINGS AS UNIMPORTANT TO YOU, INSTEAD OF HAVING TO REACT TO EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS AS IF IT IS ABOUT YOU, LIKE A CHILD. Being MEAN is away of keeping the shit off you, back at arms length so YOU CAN DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO REACT OR NOT, AND HOW YOU WANT TO REACT – Being ‘nice’ means you ALWAYS REACT, AND REACT WITH THE SAME PATTERNS YOU ARE STUCK WITH. Get this – BEING MEAN BREAKS THE HOLD YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS HOLD OVER YOU, because you have been taught that being KIND is a good thing TO ALL, instead of an honor to the few who deserve it, SO NOW YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, but you are so weak you would struggle with refusing to pay the late fees on a library book, let alone CONFLICT…    

In reality know YOU are not nice, you are not kind, you are not good, it all a con played on slaves to KEEP THEM WEAK – YOU ARE JUST TOTALLY FUCKING HARMLESS. So get MEAN bitches, as that is the only way you can decide to do or not to do IN THE MOMENT, as when you are harmless you can ONLY EVER REACT by doing what, in one way or another, YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN TOLD TO DO, like one more domesticated animal.

See YOUR MAIN PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE STARTING THIS JOURNEY AS A ‘SLAVE’ – A WEAK PUSSY – SO HOW EVER STRANGE THIS READS, BELIEVE IT – ALL PERMANENT CHANGE NEEDS TO ‘FEEL ALIVE’, TO BE MORE ATTRACTIVE, SO HAVE AN ‘EROTIQUE’ ELEMENT TO IT. The feeling of SEX is the only access to your gift you have as an animal, and that is not just one more of those ‘FRENCH THINGS’, THATS EVERYBODY, EVEN NUNS, EVEN JESUS AND MARY, even ‘you’. However cruel you see this, your failure to understand the Erotic in yourself is WHY YOU DON’T THINK YOU ARE NOT SPIRITUAL, when you are, which is why so, so many of the most highly gifted waste their GIFT on animal sex and its reflection, violence as the star of some little secret show, PRETENDING TO BE AN ANIMAL.

Shame, really, AS THIS IS THE REASON YOU ARE ONE MORE TRIVIAL LITTLE HEDONIST, THIS IS HOW YOU DESTROY YOURSELF, THIS IS HOW YOU BECOME BROKEN, DESPERATE AND CONFUSED, all because you KNOW NOTHING ABOUT REAL LIFE. And all for NOTHING IN RETURN, as you age it won’t even comfort you anymore, AND YOU WILL BECOME A PARASITE – take a moment out of your QUID PRO QUO lifestyle and toughen the fuck up, eh, AS WE, BUT MORE IMORTANTLY ‘YOU’, ARE DONE HERE, you are officially ‘OVER’.

To help you SEE THIS BEFORE YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU, I’ll give you the last words of that Frenchwoman on the topic of GROWING UP, and for ‘YOU PEOPLE’, for the lazy and feckless who can’t give up TRADING DOWN FOR AN EASY LIFE, they may help –

‘Honestly the most shocking, embarrassing thing for me, the one that still makes me cringe IS THE REALIZATION THAT EVERYBODY HATES WHORES, even other whores hate whores, so my easy life WAS MAKING MY LIFE SHIT, on purpose. Everyone sensed it straightaway, so NO ONE TRUSTED ME, NO ONE CARED ABOUT ME, NO ONE LIKED ME, EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS A STUPID, LAZY CUNT, I DESERVED EVERY BAD THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME, SO ‘MY FREINDS’ MADE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME, to get back at me. I JUST ACCEPTED THAT, ACCEPTED THEM LAUGHING AT ME, I EVEN LAUGHED WITH THEM when my self-respect vanished completely, using me FOR A POWER TRIP. To me it was the price of an easy, FUN life, IT WAS MY SUPERPOWER, what you call my KEY FEATURE, what every other shit thing about my life hung from, what made all the other BADNESS happen’.

‘IT REALLY BECAME ‘THE POINT OF ME’ FOR THOSE AROUND ME, ‘TO HUMILIATE THE STUPID WHORE’, a downward spiral, made me even more desperate to PLEASE, an even bigger whore, makes me sick to think of it of now, BUT THE SHOCK OF SEEING IT MADE IT MUCH EASIER TO CHANGE. I SAW I HAD FAILED LIFE in order to make it LESS PAINFUL, but I’D MADE IT EVEN MORE PAINFUL. It was so hard to FACE IT, but when I understood ‘why’, I knew I had too, BECAUSE I KNEW IT WAS NOT ME, I didn’t even realize any of this was happening, I still thought I was the badest LITTLE bitch ever, so much ‘cleverer’ than them, than all the good people, but I saw what ‘feeling clever’ was for, like you had said, I KNEW THAT ALL SECRET CLEVERNESS WAS MY INNER CHILDISH WHORE APPEARING AGAIN, so I taught myself to spot it happening and crush that train of thought before it even started.’

But the MOST IMPORTANT BIT OF THIS STORY IS THIS, when I complimented her on her bravery and strength, she gave me a wry smile and said simply – ‘No, I’m no Mary Magdalene, no Grace Kelly, no whore with a heart of gold who is either SAVED OR MURDERED, it was my PAIN POINT, what I used to stop her, at the start when she tried to re-appear over and over again. My entire life was infected with her, so I used this sharp, practiced pain point to ‘PUT HER IN THE PAST’, put those clever feelings in the past AS A MEMORY, so I was different now, I was FUTURE ME in the NOW, by putting her in the past in the moment of her trying to appear, I ‘REMEMBERED HER’, I ‘NO LONGER WAS HER, she was a disgusting COMPLEX from my childhood, she was not me, SHE WAS NOTHING. It really is the master skill of change, to see the thoughts that appear to you ‘now’ as memories of the past, rather than directions for the future’.

‘I don’t need it now as she is gone, BUT IT WAS A LIFESAVER AT THE TIME. All I had to do was remind myself of THE PAIN of some horrible episode, like I used to have sex with taxi drivers for a free ride home AS IT MADE ME FEEL POWERFUL, then one of them gave me such a beating that I was on suicide watch for 2 weeks, but one night ‘SHE’ just took some more ketamine and when straight back to PAYING WITH SEX with the exact same undocumented bastard, with the exact same result!. I remembered his LAUGHTER, OF HIM TAKING PICTURES OF ME and threatening to post them, and that was finally ENOUGH, the memory of that is what I used to KILL HER. My brothers then dealt with him, paid some off duty cops to pay him a visit one night, so word kinda got round to the rest pretty fucking quick, and it all CHANGED’.

‘Its an odd thing being a whore, that what they really want is NOT SEX, its to take your GIFTED value SO THEY FEEL POWERFUL, by taking your self respect, but once they realize you don’t have any self respect then there is nothing to ‘take from you’ as you don’t suffer, because you don’t CARE, SO THEY DON’T FEEL POWERFUL, and have to get the same value by hurting you instead, its all a power trip with animals, so good to know there is more to sex than this. Then LATER I GOT WHY YOU ARE SO FIXATED ON THE ‘US AND THEM’, that we don’t have those feelings but they do, WE HAVE DIFFERENT, LONGER AND STRONGER EMOTIONS and that is what separates US, MAKES ARE WHOLE EXPEREINCE OF LIFE SO DIFFERENT.

THE ANIMAL TRASH can FEEL POWERFUL JUST WATCHING SOME SIMPLE ANIMAL FREAKSHOW SHIT, EVEN IF THEY ARE TO GUTLESS TO EVEN TAKE PART, it still makes them feel special in that creepy way, while we NEED CONNECTION TO OUR OWN KIND CENTER STAGE TO FEEL ALIVE, not some momentary little power trip. You should make more of this in the teaching, PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND QUICKER, SEE IT IN THEMSLVES QUICKER’. So I do now, much as they think its fascist and in some way taints me, it is worth that cost to help them, BECAUSE IT MAKES IT WORK FASTER.  

Now…. I hope some of you can understand why I have used such a brutal example in this case, and why she wanted me to use it – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THE MECHANISM OF CHANGE IN THE MOMENT OF NEEDING IT, YOU MUST PRACTICE IN ADVANCE, whatever yours is, GET GOOD AT IT BY FEELING THE PAIN OF IT TO PUT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IN THE PAST AS A MEMORY, as that is what BRINGING FUTURE YOU INTO THE NOW IS, by simply looking at it that way….       

OVERALL that is what the end of LOST SOUL looks like, when you are so far gone all you can do is hate yourself for an easy life BY DOUBLING DOWN ON THAT LIFE IN ORDER TO BLANK IT OUT, when even you know YOU HAVE DESTROYED YOURSELF, like a desperate little child. But the point of this last little bit is not to be even meaner, NOT EVEN TO SHOCK YOU AGAIN, it is to ask you one final question:      

So what will it be for ‘you’, WHAT REALIZATION ABOUT YOURSELF DO YOU NEED TO MAKE IT ‘EASY TO CHANGE’ as, in all truth, finding that is really all this last little post is about.

SEE, I KNOW ‘YOU’ ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER NOW, DON’T YOU, BUT CAN ‘YOU FACE IT’ NOW?

YES, THE WORST OF YOU MUST RECOGNIZE YOUR TOXIC KEY FEATURE IN ORDER TO CHANGE.

OTHERWISE NO ONE WILL EVER GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE YOU DON’T, DO YOU.

SO YOU MUST LEARN ‘THE PROCESS’ OF GOING ‘AGAINST YOURSELF’ IN REALTIME.

SEE THAT IS HOW THE SELF RESPECT YOU ONCE GAVE AWAY WILL REAPPEAR.

THAT IS WHERE YOUR GIFTED CONSCIENCE WILL FIND YOU, AND FIX YOU.

THEN YOU CAN START TO ‘BE GIFTED’, BE ‘US’ NOT ‘THEM’.

AND THEN YOUR LIFE WILL FINALLY ‘START’… 

I hope, for your own sake, THAT WHATEVER SHIT FINALLY TRIGGERS your need TO FACE THIS REALIZATION is not TOO BAD, but DO brace yourself all the same, as the majority of you WILL FAIL EVEN THIS, FINAL TEST out of WEAKNESS. This is ‘NATURAL SELECTION’ AT ITS MOST BRUTALLY EFFECTIVE, or so they tell me, as the mechanism itself means there can only ever be a small no of ‘winners’, SO EITHER TRY, OR GET USED TO COMFORTING YOURSELF THAT THE SACRIFICE OF YOUR GIFT WAS NOT TOTALLY IN VAIN, someone else got your spot, cause they wanted it more than you did, even though they are far less than you.

Trust me, this HAPPENS ALL THE FUCKING TIME – the mediocre but dedicated students get HELPED, whilst the BEST simply BURN OUT, then fade away, forgotten like some FAILED BEAUTY, whilst going quietly mad in their precious, self made oblivion, DREAMIN OF THE MOVIE STAR THEY COULDA, SHOULDA ‘BEEN’. See the lesser students have already got used to the STRUGGLE, so Natural Selection works for them, as it is the LAW OF THE SURVIVAL OF ‘THE MOST ADAPTABLE’, not the strongest or cleverest, they always fail in the end BECAUSE THEY WON’T CHANGE – to succeed in this life you ‘gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, and know when to run’ (RIP Kenny…).

And you have to CHANGE AND DO THAT DIFFERENT to yesterday, EVERY DAMN DAY, because everything changes, all the fucking time in this Universe, BUT YOU CAN’T CAN YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE STUCK BEING A CHILD, WHO CAN NEVER CHANGE, so your failure is already set in stone, YOU ARE ALREADY YOUR FATE. When you feel oh so bitter later, when you desperately NEED SOMEONE TO BLAME for your total humiliation, when you realize YOU WERE WRONG, remember this, reading this, and smile in the knowledge that you had your chance ONCE UPON A TIME, ITS JUST THAT YOU WERE SUCH A CLEVER, LAZY LITTLE WHORE.

See, what you have failed to factor in to your little equation of life, of your high times, (and what I have previously explained in this post), is that in order to help people like you, you need to be scarier than people like you, and frankly my dear, that ain’t so hard, is it. So when that realization hits – that your best friends have betrayed you for years in order to protect themselves from your toxic self destruction, that everyone hates the whore who takes the easy way out, as they are simply not worthy of the gift that god has given them – that you have enough decent support close by to stop you killing yourself. I have seen it close up several times, and its not pretty but you need to face it none the less – YOU ARE BETRAYED, and nobody gives a fuck, because your inner whore is worthless, so everybody wants you to just DISAPPEAR.

Yet even now, you still think you are ‘clever’, because you are desperate – why is that do you think, when you compare yourself to someone like ‘me’, why do you still think that? Trust me, no one else does, many of them FUCKING HATE EVEN KNOWING YOUR NAME now, AS THEY ARE ‘TAINTED’ BY KNOWING YOU. So please, GO TO THE DOCTOR – what society will say when they read what you have done is that YOU are the problem, not the solution, so what happens is long overdue. Seriously, do you not know how your society treats clever little cunts like you – want me to help you with that – SEE WHEN YOU ARE FORCED TO SEE YOUR DELUSIONS THROUGH THE EYES OF OTHERS, WHEN THEY ARE NO LONGER SECRET, THE ATTRACTIVENESS OF THOSE ILLUSIONS TENDS TO DISAPPEAR, indeed you are ‘forced to see your childish self’, THE SHAME OF IT, and then let your ‘conscience reach you’ if you are GIFTED, or not, if you are an ANIMAL.

So however hard what happens is, AT LEAST YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF EH, like I did all those years ago when some one showed me what I did IN THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY, instead of what ‘I thought I did’, which in truth was the beginning of all this. So don’t run screaming like a bitch, take the hit and learn from it, YOU CLEARLY HAVE TO BE FORCED TO DO ANYTHING, so its actually a good thing, when all your SECRETS evaporate the ILLUSIONS THEY UNDERPIN will appear, WELL, somewhat ‘different’ BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT SECRET, NOT ‘EXCITING’ ANYMORE, they are usually all a bit grubby, pathetic and sad. See you will forced to confront the truth about your CHILDISH self, which can be challenging, BECAUSE YOU WILL REALIZE YOU ARE DELUSIONAL, you not actually going to take over the world tomorrow, so YOU WILL BITTERLY REGRET NOT DOING IT ‘THE EASY WAY’ and keeping your more embarrassing secrets in tact…

So I will step out of character for this last COUPLE of paras and be very clinical, AS THE ‘USE OF SHAME’ TO GROW SOME FOLKS UP IS BOTH ‘A FIRST RESORT’ AND ‘A LAST RESORT’ in the world of spiritual teaching. See, however much you have whittled away at your conscience over the years in small things, to make your conscience smaller, more manageable as a feeling, PUBLIC SHAME won’t care, and WILL BE BIG AND STRONG ENOUGH TO TOTALLY OVERWHLEM YOU. When you are young this is ideal, because it is VERY FAST, AND THERE IS NO GOING BACK EMOTIONALLY, but when you are much older odd effects occur BECAUSE YOUR EGO IS MUCH BETTER AT DEFENDING ITSELF, so you will try and fight it, OFTEN THROUGH QUITE DRAMATIC MEANS. 

Now, as you know ANIMALS HAVE NO CONSCIENCE, and are simply terrified of what is going happen because their secret is out, SO JUST CHAFF AND REDIRECT, LIE AND DENY, BLAME AND OBSCURE, all very tedious and unimportant. But in GIFTED the feeling will be a hateful, heavy burden that they thought they had broken in themselves, when in fact they have simply repressed it, SO MUST CHANGE THEIR ATTITUDE TOWARD IT AND LET IT CLEANSE THEM, if it is going to work – YOU KNOW THEIR IS NO GOING BACK NOW. BE CLEAR, THAT FEELING IS THE VEHICLE OF CHANGE ITSELF, this is not a competition, you are not some clever nemisis or villan, YOU THE CHILD HAS LOST, PUBLICALLY, FOREVER, so see it for what is it – A BLESSING. 

If you don’t do this, and ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO FIGHT IT, usually because you BELIEVE you are a VICTIM in someway, then you will have BAD mental health issues very quickly, as YOUR CONSCIENCE IS ACTUALLY MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU THE CHILD IS. So I would urge you to accept the judgement of your conscience and make the change, NO ONE ELSE HAS DONE THESE THING TO YOU, YOU THE CHILD HAS DONE THEM, so you must GROW UP, take the blame, THEN TRANSFER THE BLAME ONTO YOU THE CHILD, AND CHANGE. That is the process of this method, THAT IS HOW IT DESTROYS YOUR SECRET CLEVERNESS. 

DO IT, TAKE THE ADVICE ABOVE, AS YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN OTHERWISE – WE VALUE THE STRENGTH TO DO THIS, TO FACE UP TO YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE AT THE START, BUT WE ALSO HATE THE FAILURE TO DO SO IN EQUAL MEASURE, BECAUSE YOU WILL BECOME A CURSE ON EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH, THE EMPTY, UGLY ‘ANTI-YOU’. ONCE YOU START TAKING SEDATIVES TO STABLIZE YOUR MOOD BY MAKING YOU FORGET THEN YOU CHILD WILL TAKE YOU OVER COMPLETELY, AND CONSCIOUS YOU BECOMES A PUPPET, LOST IN A DREAMWORLD. 

However much you THINK YOU ARE COOL, STRONG, that this would never happen to you, trust me THERE IS AN EPIDEMIC OF GIFTED FOLKS GOING INSANE IN THE WESTERN WORLD through this exact mechanism, USUALLY WITH THE HELP OF PARASITES. Don’t let it happen to you, it is a fate worse than death, read the multiple real world examples from the Frenchwoman above and find something to help you change, cause otherwise the same sad, stereotypical fate awaits you, AND NOBODY WILL CARE, BECAUSE YOU ARE TRASH.

KNOW THAT THE GREATEST GIFT THIS EXPEREINCE OF SHAME GIVES YOU IS THE REALIZATION THAT YOUR CONSCIENCE IS YOU, YOUR SPIRIT, AND CAN BASICALLY CRUSH THE FAKE BULLSHIT OF YOU THE CHILD ANYTIME IT WISHES, SO YOU ‘HAVE TO CHANGE’, OR IT BECOMES DEPRESSED, DISABLED…

Hope these last few bits reach the people they are written for in time, but ultimately even you should recognize you need help by now, as OLD AGE is going to crush the power of you the child anyway, IN TIME, but no matter, LETS SEE IF YOU STILL HAVE A CONSCIENCE, eh. See NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK RIGHT NOW, REAL WORLD ‘SHOCKS’ ARE ALWAYS MUCH WORSE THAN TEACHING SHOCKS, but sadly you won’t agree with that until the you have had the REAL WORLD STUFF to compare to, just know that is what is going to happen to the little world you live in, whatever I (and the that Frenchwoman who agreed to all this) try and protect you from, yet YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE CLEVER, RIGHT NOW, don’t you – and you wonder why we call you STUPID…

SO LEARN FROM SAID FRENCHWOMAN, her words not mine, in the modern WOKE style, all after the fact of HER CHANGE, WHEN SHE WAS ABLE TO SEE HERSELF ACT OUT ALL THE TIME – she does not teach, she has no interest in it, BUT SOMETIMES I THINK SHE WOULD BE BETTER AT IT THAN ME, in terms of teaching her own kind, AS SHE KNOWS HOW IT FEELS IN THE LANGUAGE OF HER OWN KIND…

MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO REACH ROCK BOTTOM BEFORE THEY CAN CHANGE, DRY OUT AND GROW UP, SO TRY NOT TO BE THAT FUCKING STUPID – IT HURTS, A LOT, AND YOU MAY BE TOO FAR GONE;

KNOW THAT HEALING YOURSELF WILL BE OFFENSIVE AND TERRIFYING TO ALL WHO BENEFITTED FROM YOUR BROKENESS.

SECRECY MAKES UGLY, BORING, NASTY SHIT APPEAR FUN, EXCITING, ITS THE NO1 CON PLAYED ON YOU BY YOUR CHILDHOOD.

WHEN BROKEN EVERYTHING IS TRANSACTIONAL BECAUSE NO ONCE CARES, SO EVERYTHING IS MUCH HARDER THAN NORMAL.

ALL WHORES EMPATHIZE WITH ANIMAL DESIRE IN OTHERS TO GENERATE A MOMENTARY ‘FAKE’ SENSE OF ‘FELT’ CONNECTION.

SO ALL WHORES BECOME BITTER, HARD, CALLOUS THINGS, CHASING THIS EVER DECREASING EFFECT IN STRANGERS LIKE ADDICTS.

EVERYTHING THAT FEELS ‘STABLE’ IS SIMPLY THE ATTENTION OF AN INSECT/PARASITE, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY UNSTABLE.

NO MATTER HOW BAD TEACHING SHOCKS ARE REAL WORLD SHOCKS ARE WAY, WAY WORSE, AS THEY WILL ‘KILL OR CURE’ YOU.

LET IT GO – YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL, NOT HOT, NOT SEXY, NOT COOL OR FUN AT A PARTY, YOU’RE THE OFFICE JOKE WHORE.

UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF A JOKE WHORE IS NOT THE WHORE, ITS ‘THE JOKE’ THEY WANT TO USE, THEY ARE CRAP AT SEX.

YOU ARE BETRAYED, EVEN YOUR BEST FRIENDS WILL DENY KNOWING YOU WHEN THEY FIND YOUR BODY IN THE RIVER.

LOOK IN THE MIRROR – YOU LOOK DOWN ON THEM, THINK THEY ARE EASY, SO WHY THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING AT YOU..?

AND WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING WITH THEM, AT YOURSELF, JUST TO PLEASE THEM – IT IS A PRECURSOR TO SUICIDE.

SO JUST DIE ALREADY, SOMEONE ELSE DESERVES YOUR SPOT, AND EVEN LOOKING AT YOU MAKES ME CRINGE.

NOBODY CARES IF YOU DON’T CARE, SO WE DON’T EITHER – IT’S THE FIRST TEST YOU FAILED, AGAIN.

LEARN NOW – FIND SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS HURTS, THEN ‘DIG IN’ AND DEFEND YOURSELF.

YOU ARE A GOD, A DEMON, A WITCH, BUT YOU HAVE SETTLED FOR THIS ‘SAD SHIT’, REALLY?

LOOK IN THE MIRROR, KNOW YOU ARE A DESPERATE WHORE BECAUSE YOU ARE COWARD.

COWARDS ALWAYS WASTE THEIR CONSCIOUS ENERGY ON RELIEVING THEIR ANXIETY.

YOU MUST STOP COMFORTING YOURSELF TO KEEP YOUR ENEGRY FOR YOURSELF.

SELF CONSCIOUS ENERGY IS A QUANTITY THE UNSCHOOLED CAN STORE.

YOU MUST GET MUCH, MUCH MEANER IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE…

To sum it up, her killer speech – ‘I know it is bad of me, and you will make a gangster joke like ‘Big Talk, Small Knickers’ as YOU THINK I MISS IT SOMEHOW, but I don’t, much as in a funny way I don’t regret it either, I DO WAY WILDER STUFF NOW THAN SHE EVER DID, she was a coward. But have to say, whenever I meet one of them, the parasites who DEGRADED ME, I don’t just want to kill them, I want to pound a hammer INTO THEIR FACE UNTIL THEY ARE ERASED FROM EXISTENCE, so not even their corpse remains. I’ve only ever destroyed a couple of them who were OBSESSED, BUT HONESTLY I WOULD KILL THEM ALL FOR THE FUN OF IT.

Don’t laugh, I’m no BUTCH BITCH, but I HATE THE COWARDICE OF HER MORE THAN I CAN PUT INTO WORDS, that was what ALL she was, ALL HER SELF DESTRUCTION WAS A FORM OF THAT, she made a life out of making COWARDICE GOOD, COOL, EXCITING, but you MADE ME MEAN, then I GOT MEAN ENOUGH TO KILL HER. I can never repay YOU for that, BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT ME THAT ANYTHING ‘BRAVE IS NOT HER’. So now I’m an individual, as you say, I CHANGE MY MIND WHATEVER THE FUCK I LIKE, but its a hard thing to realize that IS WHAT BRAVERY ‘IS’ WHEN YOU ARE A WHORE, WHEN YOU DO EVERYTHING FOR ONE MORE ‘SMILE FROM AN INSECT’, as you are so ‘scared of yourself’, the pain of your feelings most of all, IT IS THE ULTIMATE COWARDICE.

You should know, I get the whole GOOD BAD MAN THING, I really do, BUT IT IS WASTED ON US – WE NEED TO BE SHOCKED AND REWARDED, TO BE SHOWN THE POWER OF THIS IN COMPARISON TO THE POWER OF OUR OWN SELF DESTRUCTION, which makes us oh so briefly ALIVE, SELF CONSCIOUS AT THE LEVEL WE CAN’T GET ANYWHERE ELSE, because it HAS TO BE DONE TO US. Then we know we have a choice, A REAL CHOICE THAT WILL WORK FOR US, for those who abuse OUR SPIRITS, OUR GIFTED EMOTIONS FOR FUN. We are COWARDS, WE MUST BE SHOWN WHAT IT ”FEELS’ LIKE TO BE ‘YOU’, TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’, to be Elitist as you say BEFORE WE WILL COMMIT TO CHANGE – YOU MUST TEMPT US, MAKE US FEEL IT AS THE REWARD FOR CHANGING BEFORE WE CHANGE, otherwise it is just too bigger ‘loss’. We don’t care about losing face, we have no self respect, PLEASE JUST SHOW US THE POWER OF THIS STUFF AT THE START!  

But for gods sake don’t let us just STALK YOU, OBSSESS ABOUT YOU FROM A FAR – YOU HAVE MET US, SPOKEN TO US, SO YOU ARE COMMITTED NOW! I know how CONNECTION WORKS, but if you ignore it just because it is easier to manage or you are just so busy with others, with your own development IT WILL ROT us OUT FROM THE INSIDE, turn into some bizarre twisted thing WE ARE NOT, but which we cannot help, LIKE DRUG ADDICTS, FREAKS TRYING TO HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER WHILST GETTING THE ODD HIT OFF IT. Understand OUR NEEDS, we cannot help this, BECAUSE WE CAN’T HELP ANY BLOODY THING, your connection has us, IS THE GOLD STANDARD, BUT YOUR ARMS LENGTH KINDNESS MAKES IT WORSE, UNTIL ONE DAY WE EXPLODE, LIKE A HYDROGEN BOMB.

I don’t criticize you EVER, I would be DEAD without you, BUT PLEASE, DON’T TREAT US LIKE LAB RATS, we are way too fragile for that, everything REAL SCARES US TO DEATH – UNDERSTAND WHATEVER TWISTED VERSION OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS, WITH YOU WE HAVE IS PRECIOUS TO US. So take my advice boss man, WITH PEOPLE LIKE ME YOU SHOULD BE AN EVEN BIGGER BASTARD THAN YOU ARE NOW, to our faces, MEAN AND HARD, AS WE WILL WANT YOU TO DO IT, so it will work faster, and for WHORES IT HAS TO WORK FAST. We are not the normal HEDONISTS your style is tailored for, AND YOU ARE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE EITHER, so please HELP US ‘OUR WAY’. Otherwise we will just bounce back and forth FOREVER, unable to commit, and even OUR FAKE Character dissolves into a puddle of piss, NEVER HAVING THE GUTS TO EVEN SAY MY OWN NAME IN PUBLIC. It is not about SAVING US, it is about BAITING US INTO SAVING OURSELVES, but you are too British to understand that… (#LMFAO)’.

Badass bitch now, like, MUCH AS I HOPE FOR YOUR SAKE YOU HAVE IT EASIER THAN SHE DID, however much you maybe of her type…

But don’t worry IF ‘YOU’ STILL THINK YOU ARE CLEVERER THAN US, I MEAN, ‘SO WHAT – YOU ARE STILL A ROCKSTAR EH?’ Ahhh, so you are not a rockstar, mmmm, you are a struggling mum, barely a pot to piss in, stuck trying to make you’re latest relationship to some blind, safety dork work, whilst scheming creepy plans on not so secret chat groups with parasites late into the night, then monetizing your depression on social between phoning it in at you’re latest entry level role that you are already quietly quitting, already back to your old ways, getting wasted at lunch with the latest random fuck toy, and pretending that no one sees, as you are soooo CLEVER? Well, that’s not so good then, eh, indeed its kinda stereotypically-sad-as-fuck, same shit, different day… ever wondered why that is?

Just a thought anyway, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO GO ON WITH YOUR PLAYGROUND FIGHT, maybe even get some little plastic soldiers so you can promote yourself to a general eh, you never know, perhaps one day someone serious may even notice. In the meantime know you have my thanks for accepting your total failure and ongoing humiliation as normal, whilst comforting yourself that one day someone may yet ‘save you from yourself’. Indeed we need more lazy, deluded failures LIKE YOU so some of the others have a chance of fighting their way out of this shit you STILL think is so cool, whatever the fuck that means TO A BIG KID LIKE YOU.

REMEMBER WHAT I HAVE SAID – SOME OF YOU MUST FAIL SO OTHERS CAN SUCCEED, IT IS THE NATURE OF THE LAW THAT RULES THIS PLANET.

THAT IS NOT DECIDED IN ADVANCE, THAT IS DECIDED BY YOU, BY HOW HARD YOU ARE PREPARED TO FIGHT, TO TRY, TO BE GIFTED.

SADLY IN THIS LIBERAL, MODERN WORLD THE LOWEST STUDENTS TEND TO GET HELP, WHILST THE BRIGHTEST, AND OFTEN MOST GIFTED BURN OUT.

THAT WAS NOT ALWAYS THE WAY, INDEED SPIRITUALITY DOMINATED THIS WORLD FROM ANCIENT TIMES BECAUSE IT WAS THE GREATEST WHO WON.

BUT NOW IT IS TURNED ON ITS HEAD, BAD PEOLE ARE WRITTEN OFF YOUNG, AND THAT HAS ALWAYS ANNOYED ME, SO I STAND AGAINST THAT TIDE.

IF THAT APPEALS TO YOU AT ALL, IN ANYWAY, FIND SOMETHING IN THIS STUFF, ANYTHING REALLY THAT ‘HITS’, THEN CHASE IT, NOW…

TRUST ME, YOU WANT WHAT IS BEHIND THIS VEIL FAR, FAR MORE THAN TO KEEP THE LITTLE YOU HAVE NOW IN FRONT OF IT…

SEE, YOU HAVE UNDERPERFORMED YOURSELF FROM CHILDHOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH COMFORT, SAFETY, BUT COMFORT IS NOTHING, SO IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE, SET YOURSELF THE GOAL TO BE ‘MORE THAN THIS’, MORE THAN A SLAVE TO COMFORT, TO SELF PITY, TO FEAR. YOU ARE DEAD AN AWFULLY LONG TIME, AND THE DEATH OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, YOUR GIFTED LEVEL, IS HAPPENING RIGHT FUCKING NOW. EVEN YOUR ABILITY TO ENJOY THE CHEAP THRILLS OF SECRECY IS DEGRADING DAY BY DAY, AND ALL THAT IS LEFT TO REPLACE IT IS DEPRESSION, UNLESS YOU CHANGE.

I truly hope your GIFT, the real you that is also reading this right now, is still strong enough to reach you, as what follows in this post is THE SPIRITUAL VERSION OF GROWING UP, to use your own energy to achieve these mental jumps. So know if you are not Gifted, growing up will still need to be done to you, so good luck with that, as your society does not give a fuck about you, its a Zoo designed to keep you caged, not set you free.

For your own sake I urge you to MAKE THE FIRST JUMP, ACCEPT YOU ARE ‘US’, YOU ARE NOT THEM, you whole life is a truck load of confusing bollocks because You are still trying to be THEM – YOU shun everything that is special about you, YOUR TASTE, CLASS, STYLE, INDIVIDUALITY, AND THE PRECIOUS INSIGHTS FROM YOUR CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS simply to ‘average yourself down’ to their level, so you can wander round acting out your moron level mood swings, blundering around like a fucking BABY with a bucker wedged on its head that simply echoes back all your bird calls in the jungle, you fool. Do you have any idea what you could do, be, hear, see, go if you simply got 10% better than that retarded shit YOU FILL YOUR LIFE WITH OUT OF HABIT..? 

Find some AMBITION to BETTER YOURSELF, find a ‘WHY’, YOU ARE NOT A ‘FINISHED ARTICLE’, YOU ARE A BLOODY CHILD, so GET SMARTER, GET MEANER, and know that NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU IN YOUR CURRENT STATE, you are STATISTIC, so what the fuck does it matter what you do NOW. So go on, you know you want to, see your life situation ain’t really that bad is it, indeed the biggest ISSUE IN YOUR LITTLE LIFE that the majority have, is that YOU ONLY REALLY have ONE problem, don’t you, YOU SIMPLY DON’T SUFFER ENOUGH DO YOU, that how you know you are an animal, I guess, BECAUSE:

YOU ARE BORING AS FUCK, BECAUSE YOU ARE SHIT AT EVERYTHING,

SO SORRY, WE ONLY REALLY DO ‘BOX OFFICE’ HERE ON THE 4TH WAY MATE,

AND I’M NOT SORRY, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, MAYBE NEXT TIME, EH…

YOU ARE THE UNHELPABLE, RIGHT, YOU ARE PROUD OF IT, ITS SO ‘COOL’?

SO MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR, BUT I SUSPECT YOURS HAS ALREADY ‘WRITTEN YOU OFF’…

LMFAO – YOU WOULD NOT KNOW WHAT COOL WAS IF IT BIT YOU IN THE BLOODY FACE kidda, so go fuck yourself, for a change – BEING AN ANIMAL IS TO BE A DORK who is CRAP at everything you TOOL, including your treasured sex and violence. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN, DO YOU, hell you think WATCHING it is REAL don’t you, MAKES YOU FEEL POWERFUL FOR A SECOND, you creepy little retard, CAUSE YOU COULD NEVER DO IT YOURSELF. See your ‘DESIRE FOR CONNECTION’ IS A ‘MEMORY’ YOU ‘FORCE’ ON RANDOM SITUATIONS in order to ‘REMEMBER WHAT CONNECTION FEELS LIKE’, but where NO actual connection EXISTS. So you lose yourself in a FANTASY OF OLD PATTERNS that has nothing to do with what is ‘actually happening’, BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER ‘PRESENT IN THE NOW’! That is why the DESIRE goes as soon as you have depleted yourself, and you have to GLOSS OVER the nastiness of what actually just happened, SO YOU DON’T REMEMBER IT, you just remember the fantasy FROM LONG AGO, so it still SEEMS COOL – THIS IS WHAT ‘BASIC’ MEANS. 

So fuck off back to your fantasy world, this all gets way to REAL for you bunch of middle class cunts, go get some more of the big pills, binge watch shite, smoke weed, buy something shiny, get some clips on OF, comfort your tame self obsession and anally retentive ‘drama’, YOUR JUST TOO FUCKING BORING FOR US, like. See a little birdy tells me you may have been lulled into a rather large and sadly (for you) VERY false sense of security, as you have failed to understand that YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO actually means = YOU ARE THE WORST OF WHAT YOU DO – no one gives a fuck about all those NICE, HONEST and DECENT 10min intervals you throw in once a week, they will only ever remember the lying, obsessional, creepy fucked up shit you have done routinely in secret for years.

YEP, nasty SHOCK THAT ONE, almost destroyed said Frenchwoman, but she found her way none the less, much as it was not ‘pretty’ – HER SHIT FOUND HER, AND IT SHOCKED HER HALF TO DEATH. Ahhh, and there was you thinking people actually bought that crap, eh – NOPE, you are a nut job, some of you would even qualify for the title of ‘Urban Legend’. So better get used to be treated like a nut job, eh…

(Harsh enough yet, hun..? What, still not enough, REALLLLLY?… Jesus, guess you are unhelpable then, CAUSE THAT IS ALL I HAVE FOR YOU FREAKS – ITS TIME TO ‘CUT THE CORD’, so you are going to need TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WITH YOUR INSANE LEVEL OF OBSESSIONAL JEALOUSY, we are done here YOU TEDIOUS LITTLE ‘STALKERS’, and frankly you do nothing to even MERIT that ‘PRIVELAGE’, do ya…) 

Time to go, Love and Hugs, hope to see some of you later, at least in the ‘evolutionary’ sense of it – IN THE LIFE OF THE GIFTED EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE EVOLUTION OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, in one direction or the other, so write these LAST COUPLE OF SENTENCES down, PICK A COUPLE FROM BELOW THAT HIT, and stick em on a private MIRROR, if you find YOU can’t remember anything…

GIFTED ARE ‘BORN INTO’ THE ‘ATTITUDE OF ROYALTY’. 

THEY ARE BORN WITH THE ‘EMOTIONAL SOPHISTICATON’, ‘CLASS’ AND ‘TASTE’ OF ‘ROYALTY’.

THAT IS WHAT ROYALTY ‘IS’, WHERE IT COMES FROM, IT IS NOT A HUMAN INVENTION.

BUT YOU ARE HAPPY JUST BEING AN ANIMAL, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE CRAP AT IT.

ITS ‘A SHAME’ REALLY, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE LOST…

YOU SHOULD BE A ‘WARRIOR PRINCESS’, YET YOU ARE JUST A ‘JOKE WHORE’.

SEE YOU ARE ‘INSIGNIFICANT’, BECAUSE ‘YOU THE CHILD’ WANTS TO BE.

BUT YOU DON’T SEE THAT ANYMORE, DO YA, YET EVERYONE ELSE DOES.

SO ARE ‘YOU TEMPTED’ TO TRY YET..?

GREAT, BUT DO YOU REALIZE WHAT ‘SHAME’ IS FOR YET?

SEE THAT REALIZATION IS THE ONLY REASON SAID FRENCHWOMAN IS STILL ALIVE… 

SO TRY ‘BEFORE’ YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU, AS EVEN IF YOU CAN’T CHANGE ‘UNTIL’ YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU, IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR ‘WHEN’ YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU THEN YOUR SHIT WON’T ‘CURE YOU’, IT WILL ‘KILL YOU’. AND TRUST ME, YOUR SHIT IS ‘GOING’ TO FIND YOU…

For the rest of ya JUST GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT, EH, YOU ARE SO FUCKING BORING IT IS BEYOND TEDIOUS NOW – TRY AND GO TO YOUR GRAVE A LITTLE HIGHER UP THE FOOD CHAIN OF LIFE. So start washing OFF all the baked on dog shit from all the pointless little ‘strays’ that populate your life, put the simple goal of ‘financial freedom’ in FRONT OF YOUR MIND as your BIG PICTURE, and KICK IT UP A NOTCH. Start to ‘actively manage’ the ‘IMPRESSION YOUR GIVE OFF’, if nothing else you will understand what a TOXIC TRAINWRECK you have been all these years, so at least you will know HOW YOU HAVE COME TO WASH UP HERE AS ONE MORE ‘STATISTICALLY INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CONSUMER’ filling your life with shit YOU NEITHER WANT OR NEED, for a life full of ‘NOTHING WORTH A DAMN’, a life with no goals, no god, and no gonads.

Your precious LIFE IS COMING TO ‘THE END’ much quicker than you thought – YOU HAVE GOT OLDER, SO SEE THE DEATH IN EVERY PHYSICAL CHANGE and realize YOU CAN’T STAY THE SAME, YOU FOOL. Take control of that FORCED CHANGE, in truth all you need to DO IS SHOW YOUR GIFT WHAT YOU WANT ‘CONSISTENTLY’, TO GET PRACTICAL – RIGHT NOW YOU ARE POOR, UGLY and STUPID, A CHAINSTORE WHORE, YOU ‘BLEND IN’, SO JUST PICK ONE AND FIX IT. The rest will happen by itself, when you realize what to TRY means by TRYING, then you can at least LOOK LIKE AN INDIVIDUAL. GIVE YOUR GIFT A CHANCE TO HELP YOU, FIND A WAY TO BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO FEEL ‘THE SHAME’, SO YOU CAN LEARN TO FEEL EVERYTHING ELSE IT USES ‘AFTER THAT SHAME’ TO HELP YOU, INSTEAD OF JUST SLAMMING THE DOOR IN HER FACE LIKE ‘A GUTLESS TRICK’.

You are supposed to be ‘INSTINCTIVE ROYALTY’, as your BASELINE FEELING, MOOD…

So GIVE IT A CHANCE and you will be AMAZED AT JUST HOW EASY IT COMES NATURALLY TO YOU.

THE BASELINE, NATURAL STATE OF A CHILD IS ‘INSECURITY’ BECAUSE YOU HAVE ‘NO CHARACTER’ TO ‘TRUST’.

SO CHANGE, TRUST THE ELITISM OF YOUR GIFT, THEN YOU WILL NATURALLY DEVELOP A ‘SECURE’ CHARACTER AS AN ATTITUDE.

REMEMBER THIS, so you can SEE the ‘HIGH HONOR’ in ‘YOUR SHAME’ TESTS and START PASSING THEM!

YES, YOUR ‘SHAME HONORS YOU’, YOU BLOODY FOOL, IT MEANS YOU ARE GIFTED, DON’T LET YOUR CHILD REPRESS IT!

YOUR CHILD SEEKS TO HURT AND DESTROY YOU, ONLY YOUR GIFT GIVES ENOUGH OF A DAMN TO ‘HELP YOU FIGHT’.

SO LET IT HELP YOU, AND STOP TRUSTING THE USELESS, HARMLESS CUNT YOU HAVE BECOME.

YOU MUST LEARN BY WINNING FIGHTS, SO START PICKING ONES YOU CAN WIN!

THE GIFTED ARE NEVER ‘BY THEMSELVES’, NEVER ALONE, THEY HAVE HELP, CAUSE THEY FUCKING NEED IT, AND THE GREATER THE GIFT, THE GREATER THE NEED.

See the HONOR in this, THEN ACCEPT IT, you have no choice anyway – YOUR LIFE IS A TEST YOU ARE FAILING, IT IS ‘YOUR COURSE OF HONOR’, SO WALK IT, DON’T RUN FROM IT! The first REAL STEP ON THIS PATH comes like this – YOU realize everything in the life of a SLAVE ANIMAL is SMALL BEER as a FEELING, and you can DEAL WITH IT because you REALIZE YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE ANIMAL, you are GIFTED JUST BECAUSE YOU NOW SEE IT AS SMALL BEER, so YOU LET YOUR ‘CONSCIENCE’ AS AN ‘ELITIST FUCK-YOU ATTITUDE’ DEAL WITH IT, because YOUR WHOLE LIFE is nothing, the comforts of a slave, IN COMPARISON TO THE POWER OF YOUR CONSCIENCE.

THIS IS HOW THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY TO THE MOMENT STARTS, AND HOW FEELING INFERIOR TO THE MOMENT ENDS, IF YOU LET IT HAPPEN!

But you must GET STRONG ENOUGH TO USE YOUR CONSCIENCE, TO SEE THAT YOUR CONSCIENCE IS NOT JUST SHAME AND EMBARRASSMENT, that is simply THE FIRST DOORWAY, which you have been TOO FUCKING GUTLESS TO ‘OPEN’, but now you UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR WHOLE LIFE STARTS ON ‘THE OTHERSIDE OF THAT DOORWAY’…

See how KIND I AM, I’m actually GIVING YOU THE ANSWER TO THE FIRST TEST as as ‘parting shot’, before I leave you either to ‘ROT’, or to take your ‘SHOT’. Don’t matter to me, DOES IT MATTER TO YOU..? So Open the fucking DOOR bitch, YOU ARE BORING US ALL TO DEATH – SEE your SHIT HAS ALREADY FOUND YOU, because WE HAVE FOUND YOU, and we have made YOU MUCH, MUCH WORSE ON PURPOSE BY IGNORING YOU, a point that was sadly lost on said ‘Frenchwoman’. See people like me don’t rely on you ‘Buying Into’ this AS THERE IS NO POINT, YOU ARE DEEPLY UNSTABLE CHILD, so we do it any fucking way cause we KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, you silly little TOOL, that the fun of it – YOUR FATE WAS DECIDED LONG AGO, KILL OR CURE… 

I wish you GOOD LUCK, simply because I wish that for myself, I don’t really give a fuck about you, GIFTED or otherwise, until YOU SHOW UP for SCHOOL. So do you FEEL IT YET, do you feel that UNIDENTIFIED EMOTIONAL SOPHISTICATION bubbling up yet, do you understand that is the BEGINNING OF ROYALTY yet? Hope so, cause that is all I have for you – I’ve already helped you and your attendant parasites more than is wise, so lets face it face eh, YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE CLEVER, don’t you, LIKE SOME GRUBBY LITTLE GEN Z STONER, so best get back to your fantasy world eh, BEST FUCK OFF BACK TO OBLIVION – SOMEONE ELSE DESERVES YOUR SPOT WAY MORE THAN A CLEVER CUNT LIKE YOU.

Do you not understand EVEN THE MOST BASIC BIT OF THIS yet -‘we can see you hiding’ in the shadows like a kid, so you are not even remotely ‘safe’, are you. SO TRY one last time to GRASP THIS before you go back to your delusions – LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, SEE YOUR SHIT HAS ALREADY FOUND YOU, BECAUSE ITS SHIT, SO YOU ARE SHIT, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH IS SHIT BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE A CURSE ON YOURSELF’. You will be DEAD SOON, and no one will notice, BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR SHIT, so look in the mirror and see your death laughing at you, as it spreads across your face…

SEE ‘YOU ARE SHIT’ SIMPLY BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE THICK AS SHIT’, AND THAT MAKES YOU EVIL…

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ‘HAS’ HAPPENED, WHAT ‘IS’ HAPPENING, OR WHAT ‘WILL’ HAPPEN, YOU ARE BLIND TO IT ALL,

SO YOUR STUPIDITY ‘MAKES YOU EVIL’ UNCONSCIOUSLY, MAKES YOU DO EVIL THINGS WHILST FEELING ‘SECRETLY CLEVER’.

THE INFERIORITY COMPLEX OF A CHILD MAKES YOUR ‘PETTY EVILS’ NORMAL, BY KEEPING THEM SECRET, HIDDEN,

YOUR PETTY EVILS BECOME YOUR FAVOURITE COMFORTS FROM ANXIETY, YOUR ‘VICES’, YOUR ‘EVIL HABITS’,

THE GOAL OF THIS ‘HABIT OF EVIL’ IS TO DESTROY YOUR SENSE OF SHAME, AND SO DESTROY YOUR CONNECTION TO YOUR GIFT,

YOU ARE EVIL LIKE A BABY DEMON LAUGHING WHILE IT STABS A WIMPERING KITTEN IN THE FACE WITH A FORK TO FEEL POWERFUL,

THAT FEELING OF POWER, IN TAKING PLEASURE IN PAIN AND CONTROL OF OTHERS RELIEVES YOUR ANXIETIES, SO MAKES YOU MORE EVIL,

SEE CHILDREN HAVE NO ABILITY TO TELL GOOD FROM EVIL, THEY CHASE FEELINGS, SO THEY ARE JUST WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THEM,

THE GREATEST EVIL OF THEM ALL IS THE ‘ABSENCE OF SHAME’, BECAUSE YOUR VICES HAVE DESTROYED IT OVER TIME,

THAT IS HOW WE KNOW YOUR SHIT IS GONNA FIND YOU, THAT IS THE WAY IT WORKS FOR EVIL LITTLE FOLK,

SHIT STICKS TO YOU, SO SHIT MAKES OTHER ‘SHIT HAPPEN’, YOUR SHIT IS A CURSE, SO YOU ARE A CURSE, 

THAT IS WHY NO ONE CARES WHAT HAPPENS TO A DELUDED LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT LIKE YOU,

THAT IS WHY WE ALL LAUGHING AT YOU, INDEED THATS WHY ‘YOUR FREINDS’ ARE LAUGHING AT YOU…

THIS IS WHY ALL PARASITES ARE REALLY JUST SCARED, TRIVIAL, STUPID LITTLE THINGS, THAT HAVE ‘GONE ROTTEN’…

SO UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT FOR SOME SMALL TWISTS OF FATE YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN A PRISON GUARD AT BELSEN, ‘THEY’ ARE SUB-HUMAN…  

The greatest paradox in all PHILOSOPHY, known for thousands of years, IS THAT ALL ‘NORMAL PEOPLE ARE EVIL’, that they do EVIL things through stupidity, instinctively, JUST LIKE YOU DO, and I once did, and THERE IS NO EASY WAY TO HANDLE IT. Your society, at least at your level exists as a prison, and it is a PRISON DESIGNED BY ‘US’ TO CONTROL ‘THEM’, as you cannot control yourself, because all you want is LITTLE EXCITING BITS OF EVIL. Many Religious spiritual systems seized on this from ages past and focus on nothing else, nothing but showing you how evil you are, but we don’t, because it does not work, WHEN EVIL IS NORMAL. We show you what you should of been taught in school, we show you ELITISM, CLASS, TASTE, LUCK, and just hope you are not to far gone, SO YOU SEE YOU DON’T LIVE IN A SOME LIBERAL PARADISE, YOU LIVE IN A DANGEROUS, COMPETATIVE WORLD INFESTED WITH CRIME THAT IS HOSTILE  TO YOU.

See I know you were not brought up to be career criminal, you were not shown the way the world actually works behind the scenes, how everyone is corrupt at the level they can tolerate, justify, THAT POWER CORRUPTS EVERYTHING, that the police are just a different type of gangster, that EVERYTHING IS FAKE TO HIDE WHAT IS BEHIND IT, AND ONLY QUALITY MATTERS, BECAUSE QUALITY WINS etc etc, SO SOME OF YOU MAY EVEN STILL BELIEVE THAT NORMAL PEOPLE ARE ESSENTIALLY GOOD, HONEST AND DECENT. They are not, they are STUPID ANIMALS, THEY ARE SELF INTERESTED ABOVE ALL ELSE, forever seeking comfort and petty advantage whilst being kept in line BY FEAR, driven by fantasies of LUST and DRUGS whilst living out deeply BORING and MEANINGLESS LIVES, so they can have 2 holidays a year. Many of these folks BECOME EVIL, some even become so evil YOUR SOCIETY PUTS THEM IN PRISONS FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE, for the mad, bad and dangerous to know, whilst actually trying to ensure they are ‘killed during arrest’, to keep the costs down, BECAUSE THOSE PRISONS ARE FULL.

You live in a world driven BY CONSUMER CAPITALISM AND CORRUPTION, THE 2 GO HAND IN HAND, and it has not changed since the Greeks then Romans invented every single institution we have now. So you don’t understand YOU HAVE NO PERSONAL MORALITY, your morality is a feature of your SOCIO-DEMOGRAPHIC LEVEL, YOUR MONEY AND POSSESIONS and will change quite dramatically if that level changes. You just fit in, and fitting in with the GOOD OF YOUR LEVEL, usually a subset of that level THAT IS YOUR ‘HERD’ BECOMES WHAT GOOD MEANS TO YOU, even if it is actually slightly EVIL. You will never question it outside of the DANGERS OF GETTING CAUGHT if its a bit dodgy, AND HENCE THE NEED TO COVER YOURSELF, AND BETRAY EACH OTHERS CONFIDENCES FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY becomes an essential feature, SO YOU LIE ALL THE TIME, like the little children you are.

That is YOUR LIFE bitch, THE LIFE OF A STEREOTYPE, the world where MIGHT IS RIGHT, and that might decides what is good, true, useful BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOUR SOCIETY NEEDS YOU TO BE STATISCALLY INSIGNIFICANT, SELF INTERESTED AND SCARED TO MAINTAIN ITSELF. But I also know that IGNORANCE, EVEN WILLFUL STUPIDITY IS A SLIDING SCALE, and that some of you JUST NEED TO USE THESE DEVICES TO SEE HOW EVIL YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY BEING ‘THE HARD WAY’, just like I did all those years ago, WHEN YOUR CONSCIENCE INTERVENES.

SO HOW ‘SECRETLY CLEVER’ DO YOU FEEL TODAY, LITTLE GIRL?

BETTER START WRITING YOUR ‘MANIFESTO’ THEN, AS TOMORROW ‘YOU TAKE OVER THE WORLD’.

HAVE TO SAY, MUST BE FUN TO BE ‘DR EVIL’, MUST BE COOL TO BE SO CLEVER, ALL ALONE ON ‘SOCIAL MEDIA’…

BUT YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT ‘YOUR LOVE OF PETTY EVIL’ IS JUST BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE A RETARD’, RIGHT?

THAT YOU THINK ‘WINNING’ IS TRUTH BECAUSE ‘WINNING IN SECRET’ MAKES ‘STUPID CUNTS’ FEEL ‘CLEVER’?

SO MAYBE NOW, ON REFLECTION YOU CAN NOW SEE WHAT AN EVIL LITTLE CREEPY MORON LOOKS LIKE = YOU. 

(#LMFAO…and yes, I’m laughing with the folks that have BETRAYED you, again)     

Do you understand why everyone is laughing and betraying you yet, YOU ARE TOXIC, A CURSE ON EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH, you get that right?

You know what happens to EVIL PEOPLE right, they taught you history in school, so you know how it ends for SICK little clever cunts, yes?

You know what happened to the CONCENTRATION CAMP GUARDS at DACHAU, how they died when THEY LOST, what they did TO THOSE FREAKS?

You know no one is going to take the fall for a piece of shit like you, that everyone covers themselves, BETRAYS you because you are UNWORTHY OF YOUR GIFT?

No worries, just wondered, sure you are a BIG GIRL NOW, sure you already know that SHIT HAPPENS, so when it HAPPENS TO YOU, remember ELITISM MEANS ‘FEELING SUPERIOR’, NOT INFERIOR, AS THAT WILL ALLOW YOU ‘TO CHOOSE’ – IF YOU MEET YOUR SHIT WITH YOUR WEAK ASS INSECURITIES YOUR SHIT WILL KILL YOU. You will NEED TO CHANGE, so you must UNDERSTAND THE BASIC MECHANISM OF CHANGE is to STOP & REACT DIFFERENTLY TO CHALLENGE – you STOP YOUR USUALLY REACTION AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU (AS ‘I’) WOULD DO IF I WAS A FAR, FAR BETTER HUMAN BEING THAN THE STUPID LITTLE KID WHO IS (YOUR GIVEN NAME). So start practicing ELITISM NOW in small things, so you are ready when YOUR SHIT HAPPENS, you silly cunt.

So for ‘the you’, ‘the unhelpable’ best to understand, if you are ALREADY addicted to THE FEELING OF PETTY, SADISTIC EVIL, it is VERY HARD to save yourself WHEN YOUR SOCIETY ‘KICKS OUT THE STOOL’ FROM UNDER YOUR STUPIDITY AND PUBLICALLY HANGS ‘YOU THE CHILD’. Indeed, for all but the hardest amongst you it is simply THE END. 

See when you are LOCKED IN A PRISON with folks who are A FUCK SIGHT MORE EVIL THAN YOU ARE, that see you as ONE MORE stupid little middle class cunt ‘GONE ROTTEN’, as food and amusement, then all you will have time for is SURVIVING THE NEXT 15MINS. You will need to be a hell of a lot meaner than you are JUST TO GET THROUGH THE FUCKING DAY, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW WHAT YOU REALLY ARE IS A ‘TRAGIC’, and your ILLUSION of CLEVERNESS will not survive the 1st meeting with REALITY. You have simply become EVIL because you are THICK AS SHIT, so will deserve what happens next – these days THE HUMILIATION OF MIDDLE CLASS CUNTS WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE ‘EVIL MASTERMINDS’ ON SOCIAL MEDIA gets kinda NASTY – PEOPLE WILL CUE UP TO HATE ON YOU…

So I would advise you to take these last few sentences VERY SERIOUSLY – it is much easier to deal with the TRAGEDY OF YOU ‘PART TIME BADASS FANTASY’ before THE HORROR OF WHAT THAT ‘DELUSION’ has done to you BECOMES ‘A FULL TIME REALITY of TERROR’, 24/7, before first LAW ENFORCEMENT, then SOCIAL MEDIA, then the COURT SYSTEM, and last but most importantly of all THE BAD ANIMALS OF THE PRISON WORLD, show you that reality UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL. You are DORK, you are harmless, gutless pathetic thing that is ‘scared of everything’, SO YOU DON’T WANT TO MEET ANYTHING THAT IS ACTUALLY SCARY, do you, YOU HAVE WAY TO MUCH OF YOUR NOTHINGNESS TO LOSE, DON’T YOU?

YOUR SHIT STICKS,

ITS NOT A ONE MORE LITTLE BADASS TV SHOW YOU CAN BINGE WATCH AND THEN TURN OFF AND PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED. 

SHIT STICKS, and its STICKS THE MOST ON DELUSIONAL CUNTS WANKING OFF IN A ‘TEMPORARY’ FANTASY WORLD.

REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU LOOK BACK ON YOUR OLD LIFE OF ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’.

IT MAY EVEN HELP YOU SEE YOURSELF, THEN ‘FEAR YOURSELF’, SEE THAT YOU ARE ‘OUT OF CONTROL’ LIKE SAID FRENCHWOMAN.

THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT ‘YOUR SHAME’ IS ‘A WARNING’ NOT A PUNISHMENT, NOT A SIDE EFFECT, NOT A CURSE,

YOUR ‘SHAME OF THE PAST’ AND ‘EMBARRASSMENT OF THE PRESENT’ SAYS THAT YOUR LIFE IS COMING TO END, MUCH SOONER THAN YOU THOUGHT.

SEE YOU CAN’T ‘HIDE YOUR SHIT’, ‘YOU ARE YOUR SHIT’, AND ‘EVERYONE CAN SMELL IT’…

‘YOU THE CHILD’ is ‘A CURSE ON YOU’,  a worthless fantasy, SO GROW THE FUCK UP, your petty evils are just pathetic – you are A TRAGIC LITTLE SADIST, because IT GIVES YOU A POWER THRILL, in your otherwise POWERLESS LITTLE LIFE, like a CUNT.

See, you DO KNOW YOU are ‘AN EVIL LITTLE SADIST’ right? What, SURELY NOT? YOU ARE SHOCKED, SERIOUSLY? It was not your ‘idea’? You were just following the orders of your ‘AUTHORITY’, your ‘CREEPY LITTLE HERD’, you just went ‘a long for a laugh’, IT WAS just a bit of  ‘fun’ like? Its all a huge MISUNDERSTANDING, a terrible mistake, a JOKE THAT GOT OUT OF HAND, and YOU ARE REALLY, REALLY SORRY, YOU DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE, what can YOU do to make it RIGHT? PLEASE DON’T HURT YOU, please don’t TELL my children, THIER SCHOOL, my partner, best friend, manager, mother, policeman, the fucking pope?

Ahhh, so that is OK THEN, we understand, YOU ARE JUST VERY WEAK AND VERY STUPID, you were just badly brought up, no decent role models, you have MAJOR PROBLEMS WITH ‘SUBSTANCE ABUSE’, you did not think they were PICTURES OF KIDS BEING ABUSED BY SADISTS LIKE YOU BEFORE YOU OPENED AND DOWNLOADED THEM, we get it, see some of those CAMP GUARDS said the EXACT same thing – IT WAS ‘THEM’ who committed these CRIMES, not me. Then they HUNG them, well, at least the ones the Americans had not already MASSACRED, and those they let the prisoners BEAT TO DEATH, anyway…

See it – YOU ARE A DELUSIONAL CUNT, and one day you will have to wake up and face what that MEANS, when ALL ‘YOUR SECRET SHIT’ HAS ‘FOUND YOU’, when everyone knows what you are REALLY LIKE as its NOT SECRET ANYMORE, when your old Authority simply leaves you to ‘TWIST IN THE BREEZE’, as you then realize that they ‘have already hung you out to dry’ multiple times, YOU TOTAL RETARD. Then what are you going to do, eh, what resources will you have to meet that challenge, HOW STRONG ARE YOU, I MEAN CAN YOU FIGHT OR WHAT, cause the ‘chemical confidence’ you rely on NOW it ain’t going to do SHIT, bitch…

All very harsh I know, BUT TRUST ME, in later life IT IS MUCH HARDER TO COPE WHEN YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU, so it is a much better idea to CHANGE BEFORE ALL YOUR CRUSTY, ROTTEN SLEAZE EXPLODES IN YOUR FACE. I know you can’t just STOP, but I also know you can find something in these POSTS that attracts your gift and YOU CAN TRY, dickhead. See the little stories they are written as is DESIGNED TO DO JUST THAT, otherwise it all just more bland self help designed to MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER JUST READING IT. And THAT CRAP won’t do SHIT for a party girl like you will it, indeed the COMFORT OF IT will make you even worse TOMORROW, BECAUSE IT MAKES IT ALL BEARABLE FOR ANOTHER DAY.

EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE – YOU HAVE HAPPENED BEFORE, YOUR EXACT TYPE READING THIS STUFF HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND SOME OF THEM, JUST A SMALL FEW, WHO FOUND THIS AT THE RIGHT TIME, IN THE RIGHT WAY, WITH THE RIGHT PHRASE OR STORY, MANAGED TO CHANGE, GROW UP AND FIND THEMSELVES. SO YOU CAN TOO, NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, THE CHEESY CHAINSTORE WHORE YOU ARE NOW, AND THE NOTHINGNESS OF YOUR FUTURE – IF YOU ARE GIFTED YOU CAN CHANGE, SO START, NOW. TO BE NORMAL IS JUST TO BE ONE MORE EVIL LITTLE SADIST IN ‘THE OFFICE’, A GRUBBY LITTLE RETARD CHATTING AWAY ON SOCIAL, AND THAT IS JUST TOO PETTY AND PATHETIC FOR YOU, is it not..?

You are so very dead for such a very long time after all, and you REALLY don’t want to know you are about to ‘GO’ with all this unfinished business hanging over you. As I have said MANY TIMES – YOU ARE WEAK AND STUPID, it not your fault YOU ARE WEAK AND STUPID, but its YOUR PROBLEM. You need to GET STRONGER, MEANER AND SMARTER, and its way easier to do that before your little world ‘TURNS ON YOU’, as you may not get the chance AFTER YOUR SHIT HITS THE FAN.

Really, do you want to live your life going through ONE TEENAGE MOOD SWING AFTER ANOTHER every few mins, like a creepy, delusional little kid who has BECOME A PETTY LITTLE POWER CRAZED SADIST BY ACCIDENT..? Cool, your choice, so best KNOW YOUR OWN PERSONAL LITTLE HELL AWAITS, and that always starts with YOUR HEALTH, or lack thereof – NO ONE CAN DEVELOP THEMSELVES AFTER THIER HEALTH HAS GONE, but the vast majority WAIT UNTIL IT HAS, kinda sad don’t you think, TO EXPECT A MIRACLE CURE WHEN YOU HAVE USED ALL ‘YOUR MIRACLE’ UP ON YOUR SHITTY EXISTENCE..?

PASS OR FAIL, its your life little girl, YOU CHOOSE. SORRY ,what? You have already gone a bit ROTTEN THERE, ‘DOWN BELOW’, have you? Shame, but its time to buckle up bitch, cause your shit is about to FIND YOU – its already too late, so you might want to stop trying to sell it, or buy it for that matter.. LMFAO. STOP LOOKING FOR MORE COMFORT IN ‘SELF HELP’, realize all Spirituality is a CLASS SYSTEM, and that right now ‘YOU HAVE NO CLASS’, AT ALL. To end with a point mentioned by said Frenchwoman – VIRTU IS ITS OWN REWARD, BECAUSE VIRTU IS ‘FELT POWER’, instead of the felt weakness of a little kid, THAT IS THE REWARD, so that is when you will START TO CARE ABOUT YOURSELF AS SOMETHING ‘A LITTLE SPECIAL’…

NO ONE CARES UNTIL YOU SHOW THEM THAT YOU CARE ABOUT YOURSELF…

THEY WILL MAKE A POINT OF DENYING YOU, OF MAKING YOU ‘WORSE’,

AS THAT IS THE ONLY CHANCE THE WORST OF YOU EVER HAVE – THE ‘SHOCK OF YOUR SHIT’.

OVER 50% OF ALL GIFTED WHO DEVELOP THEMSELVES COME THIS ROUTE, I CAME THIS ROUTE.

BUT LESS THAN 8% OF GIFTED HEDONISTS EVER GET HELP ‘IN TIME’, THERE IS A LOT OF YOU.

So HATE ME IF WANT, but understand THE POINT OF ME AS A TEACHER, and then you will understand the ‘WHY’ of this rather RIGHT-WING approach – SEE WE ARE NOT GOOD and YOU ARE NOT ‘BAD’, we are actually BAD BEYOND ANYTHING YOU EVEN KNOW EXISTS. You are AN INSECT, WE ARE ELITIST, THE VICIOUS BASTARDS AND BITCHES WHO ‘SCORN’ THE WEAK AND UNWORTHY, as WE are the only reason THE SPECIES MANAGED TO CRAWL OUT OF THE CAVE, where as you would just be CROUCHING BY THE FIRE begging for scraps, whilst trying to make shadow people on the wall TO COMFORT YOURSELF.

It is already WAY LATER THAN YOU THINK, so go to the Dr, eh, they may have something to TELL YOU, as right now you need to know how far the ‘SCARLET ROT’ HAS GONE, as its THE BEST MOTIVATION EVER, for clever little cunts. THEN YOU WILL REALIZE YOU ARE NOT CLEVER, and everything is just one big joke that has been played on you by the ‘EVOLUTION’ you rejected – YOUR FUN MADE YOU NOTHING – and then you’ll be SORRY, AS YOU WILL HAVE TO ‘CHANGE ANYWAY’, when the fact that YOUR DEATH IS INEVITABLE starts to hit a little harder.

So why not ‘EMBRACE CHANGE’ now and stay alive, a little bit longer, at least YOU WILL BE A LITTLE LESS ‘DUMB AS FUCK’ tomorrow. Who knows eh, maybe you will even be slightly less TERRIFIED OF EVERYTHING, and therefore feel slightly LESS DESPERATE to comfort yourself with your fun, AS YOUR FUN IS ACTUALLY NOT THAT MUCH FUN is it, and therefore maybe do something else, well, A BIT MORE CLASSY, you pointless little twat… 

LMFAO – the insecure, inferior EGO OF A CHILD is a cancerous growth on YOUR SPIRIT that your SOUL, YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IS HIDING IN, so you must FIND A WAY TO CUT IT OFF by following a class system, or wait for YOUR SHIT TO DO IT FOR YOU. GO ON, test yourself for ELITISM NOW – the next time you want to waste your energy on a small comforting habit, ‘wanking off for a moments relief of some tiny pleasure’ via some action, thought or speech, that you already know will be nothing to you a few moments after you have done it, THEN STOP YOURSELF AND GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING, and see if you notice any difference…

In all truth that is ALL there really is left to say –  CAN YOU DO THIS STUFF OR NOT..? If you can, even just for a moment or 2, know that THIS IS THE POINT OF YOU – THE POINT OF YOU LIFE IS NOT TO MAINTAIN A COMPLEX SEQUENCE OF PETTY ILLUSIONS THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT, it is TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, SO YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE YOUR WAY. So I repeat ONE LAST TIME – YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, WITH ANY MEANINGFUL LEVEL OF GIFT YOU EITHER DEVELOP YOURSELF or YOU ROT AWAY, SO-GROW-THE-FUCK-UP-AND-FACE-WHAT-YOU-HAVE-BECOME.

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE ARE, 

EVERY SECOND Of EVERY DAY,

YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO YOUR WORLD,

NOT INFERIOR TO IT, NOT A SLAVE TO OTHERS,

SO ENGAGE YOUR SPIRIT AND LET IT DRIVE!

The winter solstice has just passed, its CHRISTMAS, so YOU MAY WELL HAVE A TREE IN YOUR FRONT ROOM, covered in decorations and lights pretending to be sweet MAGICAL FOOD, curtesy of a VERY ‘GIFTED ROYAL’ by the name of PRINCE ALBERT, who forced this ancient BALTIC/GERMAN tradition on the English speaking world 200 YEARS AGO, in the age of FREEMASONARY. So take a moment to turn all the other lights off, and sit there all alone and open your heart, your SPIRIT to it, because if you knew what it meant then you would never need MY help again – YOU MUST ‘DELIGHT’ IN IT, it is the GIVER OF GIFTS…

We end where we STARTED, so do your best to UNDERSTAND THIS – STOP TRYING TO COMPETE WITH THIS STUFF, STOP WAITING FOR IT ‘TO WIN YOU OVER’, like an animal in a herd FOREVER HEDGING YOUR ‘BETS’ – IT IS THE SAME STUPID CON AS ‘WAITING TO BE SAVED’. You have to pass that TEST YOURSELF AND WANT TO START WINNING, by realizing that RIGHT NOW ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS ‘LOSE’ SOME MORE, like an EVIL, PETTY LITTLE SADIST TRYING TO BE CLEVER, like NORMAL PEOPLE. I don’t care what you think at your level, YOU HAVE THE MINDSET OF A SLAVE, and WE don’t bother ourselves with the OPINIONS OF SHEEP. See I remember myself at the start, ALL THE BIZARRE, GUTLESS LITTLE REASONS I USED TO DELAY COMMITING TO IT whilst thinking I knew better, so understand YOU MUST FEEL THIS TO UNDERSTAND IT, FEEL THAT IT IS FOR YOU… AND TRY.

And do yourself a favor eh, TRY BEFORE YOUR SHIT FINDS YOU – FORCE THE ATTITUDE OF AN ELITIST ON YOURSELF, NO MATTER HOW YOU THE CHILD IS FEELING AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. Do not GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOW ‘IT’ IS FEELING, its STUPID, give a shit about THE IMPRESSION YOU WANT TO GIVE OFF, IN A FOCUSED SELF CONSCIOUS WAY – THIS IS THE BEDROCK OF ‘CLASS’, it is HOW YOU ‘DISOWN YOURSELF’. This is not FAKING IT, IT IS CONSCIOUSLY DECIDING TO ‘BE SOMEONE ELSE’, who actually has THE CHARACTER YOU WANT, instead of the flakey CLEVER dogshit you are stuck with…

And right now its all you can do, SO BE OF ‘GOOD CHEER’, WHATEVER HAPPENS, BE ‘SPIRITED’ as there is NO FUCKING POINT IN BEING ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS LIFE – DO NOT GIVE IN TO YOUR SELF OBSESSED, MOODY SHIT, you humiliate yourself every single time YOU REGRESS TO CHILDHOOD. So ENJOY IT or IGNORE IT, life is tooo short already – TRY NOT TO WASTE ANY OF THE REMAINING TIME YOU HAVE LEFT ON OTHER PEOPLES MOOD SWINGS, PARTICUARLY YOU THE ‘SECRETLY CLEVER’ LITTLE CUNT, desperate to remain NOTHING, all fat and safe with NOTHING, all LOST and ALONE with NOTHING and NO ONE…

RIGHT NOW, your ‘LIFE’ IS YOUR ‘NO CHARACTER’, which is ‘WHY’ YOU HAVE ‘NO LIFE’ – THE HABIT OF WHAT YOU FUCKING DO ALL THE TIME is simply A MEMORY OF THE PAST YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN. So that is ALL YOU ARE, a MEAT PUPPET, an ANIMAL TRYING TO FEEL SLIGHTLY BETTER for a moment – CHANGE you SILLY LITTLE DORK, there is ‘NO YOU’ TO CHANGE ANYWAY, so what the fuck do you have lose? WANT ME TO TELL YOU, BITCH? – WHAT YOU HAVE TO LOSE IS ‘THE COMFORT’ OF THE AUTHORITY OVER YOU THAT YOU THINK KEEPS YOU SAFE, but you are WRONG, as that FAKE AUTHORITY SOLD YOU OUT YEARS AGO, so maybe its time YOU WERE SHOWN THAT, EH, SO YOU CAN MAKE BETTER CHOICES..?

See, the awful truth is that THE WORST OF YOU ACTUALLY WANT YOUR LIFE TO ‘GO TO SHIT’, YOU ACTUALLY WANT YOUR SHIT TO FIND YOU, TO HURT YOU, TO BREAK YOU, JUST LIKE THAT FRENCHWOMAN DID, BECAUSE EVEN AT THE DEATH OF IT SHE STILL EXPECTED SOMEONE TO ‘SAVE HER’ because she thought she could NOT SAVE HERSELF – SHE HAD TRIED AND FAILED MULTIPLE TIMES. Fortunately for her some BAD OLD BASTARD did STEP IN, but only to help her BY SHOWING HER ‘HOW TO SAVE HERSELF’, just like I am doing for YOU now, however remotely, however ‘matching or not’ some word, phrase or storyline THAT ‘HITS’ IS FOR YOUR TYPE OF GIFT, Witcb or Killer, Sinner or Saint, Righteous or EVIL. 

BUT STUPID LITTLE YOU STILLS NEEDS IT ‘IN PERSON’, DON’T YOU, SO DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE SO UNBELIEVABLE LUCKY AS HER? I’M MEAN GIVEN WHAT A ‘CURSED’, CREEPY, GUTLESS, DELUSIONAL, 2 FACED PIECE OF SHIT YOU HAVE BECOME? Frankly, I kinda doubt it, BUT TIME WILL FIND YOU ANYWAY, so no matter, ITS ‘KILL OR CURE’ TIME. SEE THAT FRENCHWOMAN WAS BORN INTO A ‘CLASS SYSTEM’, and that is ultimately what SAVED HER, not me, because without THE TRACE OF WHAT GENERATIONS OF MINOR FRENCH ARISTOCRACY HAD LEFT ON HER SPIRIT, I simply would not of bothered to lift a FUCKING finger ..!.,

But that’s ok, you were not born into ‘anything’ where you, just a world full of low lives you need to fit in with in – WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE SOCIAL MEDIA has turned every NORMAL little dork into a PATHETIC STALKER, DESPERATE FOR A HIT TO MAKE THEM FEEL SIGNIFICANT to comfort the CUNT they are in reality. So please just GO ON WITH THAT, for as long as it last anyway, BE INSIGNIFICANT, there is no room for anything but BOX OFFICE here on the 4th way – YOU MUST SEE YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM, however much ‘you side with those who you despise’… (RIP – Leonard). 

Frankly I have so many little STALKERS now I lost count decades ago, much as I like to cull a few every now and again, keep the rest on their toes like – wonder who it is going to be this fine new year, eh, THINK IT ‘MAYBE YOU’..? Yes, its time for your annual dose of ‘REALITY’ – ‘no Turkey ever votes for Christmas’, so of course you don’t want to change, but Christmas is the point of Turkeys, and no Turkey has ever managed to stop Christmas, have they, CHRISTMAS IS MUCH BIGGER THAN YOUR TRIVIAL LITTLE OPINION OF IT, which is simply whatever self serving garbage you are parroting in whatever childish mood you are stuck in.

In England the Puritans, victorious in the Civil War 350 years ago with the help of the people once tried TO BAN CHRISTMAS, yet when the people realized what an even bigger bunch of delusional power crazed Nazis they were, turned on them and 2 years later the Monarchy was invited back without even a fight. They even dug up Cromwell, who had become Lord Protector and RULER of the entire Commonwealth at his death, then hung and beheaded the EVIL LITTLE FREAK, JUST TO MAKE SURE – they did not bury what was left of him, JUST HIS SKULL IMPALED ON THE END OF A PIKE, for another 300 years, the pictures are really rather gruesome… 

Go figure, eh – EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, YOU, ‘YOUR JOURNEY INTO DEVELOPMENT’ HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, try and grow up enough at least to see that you A silly little cunt, as then at least we can stop calling you a cunt, as then AT LEAST YOU WILL KNOW YOU ARE A CUNT, who spends all day every day DOUBLE CROSSING THEMSELVES, whilst thinking you are being ‘secretly clever’ in double crossing others. When you WELCOME THE SHAME OF THAT REALIZATION, THE FELT HONOR OF IT, THE REALIZATION THAT FEELING IS ‘YOUR HONOR IN ITSELF’, then we can welcome you to BACK TO SCHOOL, and you can start to LIVE, instead of just scratching around in the shit trying to make your trivial LITTLE ‘evil’ EXISTENCE a bit more comforting…

What, you have FORGOTTEN WHAT SHAME FEELS LIKE? You don’t remember it is THE ‘FEELING OF YOUR FACE’? You can’t even feel your face normally anymore because you have almost DESTROYED ANY FEELING OF YOUR GIFTED EMOTIONS? Your VICES have almost WON, you have committed the greatest BETRAYAL OF YOURSELF for a laugh, and now ANY SENSE OF YOUR CONSCIENCE, even the ‘BURNING TRUE PRIDE IN YOUR SPIRIT’, has been replaced BY the giggly little false pride of your CLEVERNESS, the dogshit that is the ‘PRIDE THAT COMES BEFORE A FALL’? So You have ‘LOST FACE’, all of it, pissed away on shit you don’t even remember, so now you are just one more fucked up piece of ass, waiting for ANY ATTENTION SO YOU CAN FEEL YOU EXIST AGAIN…? 

Wow… that must be a fate worse than DEATH, to be nothing more than the LIVING DEAD, compared to what you once were, eh – TO KNOW YOU WERE GIFTED SOMETHING PRECIOUS WHICH YOU HAVE WILLFULLY DESTROYED FOR A SLIGHLY EASIER LIFE. So now you are TRAGIC, a bitter, nasty, sadistic, ugly, smelly, chubby cunt, shuffling around in cheap clothes, hiding your face, so LOST that even the bottom of your chosen AUTHORITY, your herd has to make a joke of using, otherwise its just to #CRINGE, AS EVEN YOUR ANIMALS DISPISE YOUR WEAKNESS. So DO YOU FEEL THE SHAME OF THIS REALIZATION, like said Frenchwoman once did, that gut wrenching little LAST milestone of NOTHING, OR ARE YOU ‘OVER’? 

Yeahhhhh, you gotta LOVE a good SHAME test, eh, it gets so many SPIRITUAL THINGS DONE, so quickly, so powerfully, so permanently, so there really is no mother fucking substitute for the WORST OF YOU than brutal levels of ‘CONSTANT SHAME’ – if you can STILL stand WITH that feeling, you can cope with what is coming, AS THERE IS STILL SOMETHING LEFT OF YOUR SPIRIT TO OVERPOWER YOUR STUPID LEVEL OF EGOIC CLEVERNESS. And right now that is all that matters, as that is the only things that separates YOU from an insect…

But you don’t agree, YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, because you have THOUGHT UP a REALLY good excuse for being wrong, AS YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT FAILURE ACTUALLY IS, you HAVE ‘LET YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK’ FOR BEING A CUNT so often YOU no longer know what a ‘hook’ is, BUT YOU DESPERATLEY WANT TO TRY AND CONVINCE ME YOU ARE JUSTIFIED IN ALL THE POISONOUS SHIT YOU HAVE DONE? You are actually GOOD, you have some QUALITY, your not a weak, 2 faced cunt stuck wanking off in a fantasy world WHILST PRETENDING TO DO A BIT OF ‘SELF-HELP’, are you?

AHHHH, so we reply ‘Shhhh, little child, no one cares, so run along and go play in the traffic, there’s a good kid, no need to worry, just let nature take its course…’. See You gotta LOVE Evolution, like, SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM IT – EVERYTHING IS EITHER ‘EVOLUTION’ OR ‘DEVOLUTION’, every second of everyday. Even I am now prepared to admit that you maybe Unhelpable, because you need to WIN SO MUCH THAT YOU ARE PREPARED TO DESTROY YOURSELF TO ACHIEVE THAT – so go on, GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT, WIN BY LOSING EVERYTHING, WIN SO MUCH THAT EVEN ‘THE ROCK BOTTOM’ YOU HAVE ALREADY REACHED WILL NOT SAVE YOU, as even when you see what has happened, what WE HAVE DONE TO YOU, you will still have WON in some bizarre little way…

So know the reason I have included the examples from said Frenchwoman in this Authors note is this VERY SIMPLE ‘PARTING SHOT’ – ‘Want some advice to reach ‘US’ the ‘Unhelpable’, given this whole note is about finding ‘The Urgency’ to develop the ‘The Agency’ to escape ‘The Authority’ your Inner Kid has placed over you BEFORE YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, to NEED TO CHANGE before you feel your need to change is MORE URGENT THAN YOUR NEED TO WIN, while you still think you can go on? ‘BREAK THEM’, don’t just tell them they have already LOST TO YOU, ‘SHOW THEM’, show them their weakness against your strength, as the feeling of TOTAL DEFEAT must be final – THAT FEELING CONSISTS OF MY POWERLESSNESS, MY WEAKNESS IN THE FACE OF YOUR TOTAL SUPERIORITY.’

‘Please UNDERSTAND Boss Man, you have to understand we are way worse than even YOU THINK WE ARE, as WE ALREADY KNOW WE HAVE NO CHARACTER, NO SELF RESPECT, WE KNOW WHY WE HAVE MADE HUGE MISTAKES, WE KNOW WE HAVE SIDED WITH THE ENEMY, WE ARE ALWAYS ONLY ONE STEP FROM SUICIDE but THE URGENCY TO COMFORT OURSELVES WITH THE FAKE PLEASURE OF RELIEF IS OUR WHOLE MISERABLE LITTLE LIFE, we will NEVER GIVE UP ON IT BY OURSELVES. We don’t care anymore, our lives are only ever experienced in the moment, SO WE CHASE RELIEF IN THOSE MOMENTS, WE LIVE IN AN UNSTABLE HAZE, we cannot THINK, WE DON’T CARE OUR FRIENDS ARE CREEPY PARASITES, we are JUST GLAD TO HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT AT ALL!’

‘We KNOW WE are INFERIOR, BUT unless we SEE YOUR SUPERIORITY IN COMPARISON TO THAT for REAL, THAT YOU WIN AND WE LOSE, we will never accept the need to switch to THE URGENCY TO COMFORT OURSELVES WITH THE REAL PLEASURE OF SUPERIORITY, so WE WILL NEVER SEE THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO SWITCH IN THE MOMENT OF WANTING TO COMFORT OURSELVES WITH RELIEF TO COMFORTING OURSELVES WITH ‘THE POWER YOU HAVE’. It is that SIMPLE – YOU MUST SHOW US THE POWER OF YOUR AUTHORITY OVER OURS, you must PROVE IT IS BETTER THAN OURS by DESTROYING THE POWER OF OURS, and then we will skip willingly into its arms, THEN WE WILL ‘HAPPILY SAVE OURSELVES’ AS THAT IS ‘OUR PATH’, for OUR ‘TYPE OF GIFT’, however RARE to you it may be. I know you won’t do it for everyone, MOST ARE TOO FAR GONE, but SOME ARE NOT!’

‘WE DON’T HAVE A CHOICE, SO GIVE US A CHOICE WE CAN ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN!

WE KNOW WE ARE FRAGMENTED, WE ARE A ‘MESS’, WE KNOW WE ARE MANY ‘I’, HERE NOW, THEN GONE IN A MINUTE OR 2.

WE KNOW WE HAVE NO STABLE PERSONALITY, THAT WE ARE LIVING IN A CONSCIOUS DREAM STATE, THAT ALL WE CHASE IS ‘FEELING’.

WE KNOW IT IS ALL ARITIFICAL, THAT ‘SHE’ IS ALL JUST AN EFFECT OF THINGS LONG FORGOTTEN, MISUNDERSTOOD, ABUSED, OF NIGHTMARE.

WE KNOW WE ARE ROBOTS DESIGNED TO REACT, AUTOMATICALLY DOING AND JUSTIFYING AFTERWARDS, WITH NO THOUGHT, NO PLAN, NO IDEA.

BUT WE CANNOT MAKE CONSCIOUS EFFORTS, WE CANNOT SUFFER INTENTIONALLY, WE CANNOT EXHAUST OURSELVES AND THEN TRY HARDER!

SOME ONE ELSE MUST DO THIS FOR US, THEY MUST BREAK US BY SHOWING US THAT YOUR WAY IS BETTER, AND WE MUST HATE YOU FOR IT TO WORK.

YES, WE MUST ‘FEAR YOU’ BECAUSE FEAR IS ALL WE HAVE THAT CAN CONTROL US AGAINST OUR PATTERNS, WE MUST FIND A WAY TO USE THAT FEAR.

SO WITH MY KIND, YOU MUST SHOW US WHAT SPIRITED ACTUALLLY MEANS BY LENDING US YOUR SPIRIT AT THE START…

OTHERWISE WE CAN NEVER START, HOWEVER MUCH ONE ‘I’ OR ANOTHER WANTS TO IN THIS MOMENT, OR THE NEXT.

SO ALL THESE TESTS, ALL THIS EVOLUTION IS WASTED ON US – WE CAN NEVER PASS THEM WITHOUT FEAR!

YOU KNOW THE SUPERNATURAL EXISTS, WE DON’T – SHOW US, SCARE US, FIGHT FOR US.’

Make of that what you will…… BUT KNOW TO BE WORTH THAT TYPE OF EFFORT, to intervene in your life through the use of SUPERNATURAL MEANS – THE USE OF CONNECTION – YOU WILL NEED TO PROVE YOU ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL, like she did. But KNOW THAT IS NOT THE POINT of me including this last little speech, the point is this – YOU, even THE VERY worst of the LOST SOULS, don’t need to LOSE COMPLETELY, it is the AUTHORITY YOUR CHILD HAS PLACED OVER YOURSELF THAT NEEDS TO LOSE COMPLETELY, simply because YOU WILL THEN REPLACE THAT OLD AUTHORITY WITH THE ONE THAT DESTROYS IT. That is the nature of your GIFT, INDEED IT IS THE NATURE OF EVOLUTION ITSELF, the ‘way of the world’, as frankly YOU WILL BOTH ACCEPT THAT AND WELCOME IT.

But the trick is to realize YOU don’t need ME to DO THAT FOR YOU, you can do that, INDEED YOU SHOULD DO THAT IF YOU WANT ALL OF THIS, and THAT IS WHAT SHE ULTIMATELY DID, when she realized her DEATH WAS CLOSE. That is how I will know you are SOMETHING SPECIAL – YOU ARE WORTH THE USE OF MY POWER VIA CONNECTION TO HELP YOU. Truth be told, that is what HAPPENED TO ME all those years ago, much as my GIFT is a combination of 2, SO I HAD NO CHOICE, for me it was ‘KILL or CURE’ from childhood, as I have said – I WAS BORN WITH A ‘TARGET ON MY BACK’, so everything became URGENT. The problem, for you, right now, IS THAT HOWEVER MUCH YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE WORDS, it is simply NOT URGENT, is it, UNTIL YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM…   

SO SEE YOUR ROCK BOTTOM IN THE NOW, SEE WHAT YOUR AUTHORITY HAS DONE TO YOU, then simply turn your head and let them burn – YOUR GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES, AND AT THE START THAT JUST MEANS TO STOP HURTING YOURSELF FOR FUN. The best time to plant a tree is 20years ago, THE 2ND BEST TIME is RIGHT FUCKING NOW, you silly bitch – CAN YOU STILL FEEL YOUR FACE, OR NOT? See when you can’t anymore, when your SHAME IS GONE, that is actually what ROCK BOTTOM looks like for the GIFTED, as it means even your GIFT is giving up on you, and TRUST ME, that is URGENT…

If you want to avoid the CARNAGE of that KILL OR CURE, as may be 1 in 10 of you still can, then understand this – YOU HAVE LOST:

YOU HAVE LOST BECAUSE THE AUTHORITY YOU TRUSTED HAS LOST…

YOU HAVE LOST BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID…

YOU HAVE LOST BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO FIGHT…

YOU HAVE LOST BECAUSE YOUR SHIT HAS STUCK TO YOU.

YOU MUST ACCEPT THIS LOSS IN ORDER TO WIN, and THAT IS EASY AS ITS NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT NOW YOU ARE FROZEN, ALL LOST AND ALONE, YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING FOR SURE ANYMORE – YOU MUST ACCEPT THE URGENCY OF OUR NEW AUTHORITY TO SURVIVE, THE ‘AUTHORITY OF SUPERIORITY’.

THE VALUE OF YOUR OLD COMFORTS OF RELIEF HAS GONE, YOU NO LONGER WANT TO ‘SEDATE YOURSELF’ EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE. 

NOW THERE IS ONLY THE COMFORTS OF POWER OVER YOURSELF, THE REAL LIFE OF CHALLENGE AND VICTORY OVER ‘THEM’.

NOW YOUR LOYALTY IS ONLY TO YOURSELF, AS ONE OF ‘US’, NOW YOU KNOW YOU MUST KILL ‘YOU THE EVIL LITTLE KID’.

SO YOU MUST KILL THE WORLD YOU HAVE CREATED TO ENABLE THAT LITTLE KID, THE WORLD THAT MAKES IT COOL.

THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOU AS ‘US’ ARE BETTER THAN ‘THEM’, STRONGER NOT WEAKER THAN THEM.

YOU WILL FEEL THAT THE EMOTIONAL SOPHISTICATION YOU WERE BORN WITH MAKES YOU SMARTER.

THEN YOU WILL CHANGE DIRECTION AND WANT MORE OF IT, NOT LESS OF IT, AND STOP FITTING IN.

YOU WILL GET THE US AND THEM THING, AND YOU WILL NEVER GO BACK TO INFERIORITY.

SO USE APPREICIATION ON YOURSELF – FEEL SUPERIOR, FEEL YOUR HIGHER LEVEL.

BUT YOU MUST ACTIVELY CHANGE YOUR COMFORTS, YOUR ‘STYLE’ TO FEEL THAT LEVEL.

THEN SLAP A MAD LITTLE GRIN ON YOUR FACE AND GET ON WITH IT BABE, THERE IS NOTHING ELSE NOW, AND I CANNOT HELP YOU ANY FURTHER UNTIL YOU PASS THIS TEST, AND GROW UP. SEE IF YOU DON’T DO THIS, ACCEPT THE NEED TO DO IT, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LYING AT SOME CLEVER LITTLE LEVEL IN YOURSELF, SO YOU WILL ALWAYS FALL BACK TO YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

TAKE A MOMENT TO LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE ‘BECOME’, LOOK AT HOW MUCH LESS YOU ARE NOW THAN YOU ONCE WERE, LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE COMPARED TO WHAT YOU ONCE WANTED, AND KNOW IT IS THE FUTILITY OF YOU PATTERNS OF EGO SAFETY THAT HAVE DONE THIS TO YOU. YOU HAVE FAILED, BUT YOU JUSTIFY THAT FAILURE SO YOU SIMPLY GO ON WITH IT, AND FAIL MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS OR BRAINS TO ADMIT THAT TO YOURSELF, and CHANGE. Even though I have explained in this so very simply way to you, you still just want to BE RIGHT about what you did, long ago. 

And how sad is that eh, TO BE SO SCARED OF LOSING THE LITTLE YOU DON’T EVEN WANT THAT YOU END UP WITH EVEN LESS THAN THAT, stuck in some gutless little reactive mood swing DESPERATELY TRYING TO WIN, SOMEWAY, SOMEHOW, TO SPIN SOME YARN, SOME HEROIC FANTASY, SOME STORY TO COMFORT YOURSELF AGAIN for having to live your banal empty existence, your pointless, trivial little life of fake OPINIONS.

It don’t matter to me bitch, I’ve already beaten you so I JUST PITY YOU now, but DOES IT MATTER TO YOU..? Still, THE CONNECTION BETWEEN US MEANS I am REQUIRED TO HELP YOU, should you want to help your self, so I AM REQUIRED TO ‘UNDERSTAND YOU’, to compensate for your failure to understand yourself, so YOU DECIDE what you want to do with that, JUST KNOW I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH HELPING YOU ‘YOUR WAY’, and there is NO NEED ‘TO BE GOOD’, in the exact same way said Frenchwoman was helped – IN YOUR CURRENT STATE YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO CONFORM TO ANY CLASS SYSTEM, are you. In the meantime, if I could ask a small favor – PLEASE STOP BORING THE FUCK OUT OF ME, and learn some bloody MANNERS, your clever nastiness has got out of hand because you have lost control of it, SO FIX THAT SHIT NOW, please.

Before I go, do you want to know what BETTER THAN looks like at the START – WHAT THE FOLKS WAY BETTER THAN YOU, ‘the’ better candidates for this stuff than YOU look like, THE ONES WHO ‘GET HELPED’ because they have the SECRET PATTERN THAT HELPS THEM TO BOTH RECOGNIZE AND ACCEPT THIER FAILURE INSTEAD OF RESENTING IT SO MUCH THEY ARE FORCED INTO JUSTIFYING IT AS ‘OK’ IN ORDER TO PROTECT THIER PATHETIC EGO?

Sure… and if you NEED a pop culture reference this is what Micheal Jordan meant when he said his success, power, fame, and vast wealth was NOT down to being any faster, stronger, more talented than anyone else, it was down TO HIM BEING ‘COACHABLE’, to him wanting to learn to BE BETTER THAN everyone else, because he knew he DID NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT, so he was prepared to look for and TAKE GOOD ADVICE, OVER HIS OWN SILLY LITTLE OPINIONS. 

So this is what the best BEGINNER student I ever met once said to me, sitting waiting outside a Zen masters door, RIGHT AT THE START OF HIS JOURNEY, musing on some impossible task he had been given and wanting to discuss his experiences of TRYING TO DO IT, whilst knowing he did not know as yet HOW TO DO IT, but all the same he knew IT COULD BE DONE, so HE COULD LEARN HOW TO DO IT. It was said to me when I was feeling somewhat low and broken by the process, MUCH AS I KNEW THAT WAS REQUIRED TO BREAK MY OWN SHIT, it was a hard time emotionally to keep going in the face of failure…

See he had realized THAT EVEN KNOWING WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN BELOW MEANT THAT HE HAD ALREADY RAISED HIS LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS UP ENOUGH TO PROVE TO HIMSELF HE WAS ‘US’, and ‘NOT THEM’ – he understood that wanting to be HELPED AGAINST HIS OWN OPINION meant he COULD BE HELPED, BECAUSE THAT WAS A TEST HE HAD PASSED, WHICH EMPOWERED HIM TO DO THE REST OF IT. SEE HIS FOLKS TAUGHT HIM IN CHILDHOOD HOW TO USE HUMOUR TO LAUGH AT HIMSELF AND DISSASSCOIATE FROM HIS FAILURE EARLY IN LIFE, AND THAT IS WHAT SAVED HIM FROM ‘HIS PATTERNS’,.

He understood WHAT ‘PATTERNS ARE’ – MEMORIES OF FAILING – SO HE NEVER PUT MUCH FAITH IN THEM EVEN AS A KID, his PATTERNS were never HIM, they were just SKILLS HE WAS NOT YET GOOD ENOUGH AT, SO TRYING TO COMFORT YOURSELF FOR FAILING WAS KINDA STUPID – he was a dirt POOR KID, so he had NOTHING TO LOSE BY TRYING TO BE BETTER THAN, because he KNEW he had nothing to START WITH…

I DON’T KNOW SHIT.

I KNOW I DON’T KNOW SHIT.

I KNOW MY SHIT IS A MEMORY OF OLD SHIT.

I KNOW MY OLD SHIT IS SO SHIT ITS ACTUALLY FUNNY.

I KNOW I DON’T KNOW SHIT BECAUSE MY SHIT IS SCARED, WEAK SHIT.

I KNOW MY SHIT IS SHIT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL CLEVER VIA WEAKNESS.

I KNOW THE CLEVER SHIT I KNOW IS JUST TRYING TO WIN AFTER I HAVE ALREADY LOST.

I KNOW MY CLEVER FANTASIES OF WINNING ARE KEEPING ME TRAPPING IN THIS LOSER SHIT.

I KNOW THIS CLEVER SHIT IS JUST A MEMORY OF COMFORTING, PROTECTIVE SHIT FROM CHILDHOOD.

I KNOW THAT EVEN MY CLEVEREST SHIT IS NOT VERY USEFUL, BECAUSE MY LIFE IS BORING, REPETATIVE SHIT.

I KNOW MY SHIT DOES NOT EVEN PROTECT ME FROM OTHER PEOPLES SHIT BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS SCARED, WEAK, DEFEATED.

BUT I KNOW IF I STOP THINKING MY LOW QUALITY SHIT IS RIGHT AND LEARN THE POWER OF TRUTH I CAN FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS SHIT.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE VAST MANSION OF MYSELF BEYOND THE TINY LITTLE BASEMENT ROOM THAT IS MY CONSCIOUS LEVEL.

I NEED TO WIN BY BECOMING CONSCIOUS OF WHAT IS HAPPENING IN ALL THESE OTHER ROOMS OF MYSELF THAT ARE CONTROLLING MY LIFE, DESTINY.

THEN I NEED TO TAKE CONTROL BY OVERPOWERING THEM, AND STOP ‘THEM’ TRYING TO ACTIVELY ‘DOUBLE CROSS’ ALL MY WISHES, NEEDS, DESIRES.

SO I CHOOSE TO FIGHT, BECAUSE I KNOW IF I DON’T MY LIFE IS ALREADY OVER, THE HIGH POINT OF CHILDHOOD IS GONE, I AM ROTTING AWAY.

I KNOW THIS IS ALL THERE IS NOW, AND IN ALL TRUTH ALL THERE EVERY WAS FOR ME, ALL ELSE IS SHIT I HAVE DONE A THOUSAND TIMES.

SO I KNOW THAT I WILL WIN THIS FIGHT OR DIE TRYING WITH A SMILE, OTHERWISE I WILL BORE MYSELF TO DEATH WITH COMFORT.

I KNOW THAT ALL MY COMFORTS OF ANIMAL SLAVERY ARE A ‘CONSCIOUS DEATH’, A CON, A MOUSE TRAP WITHIN A MAN TRAP.

SO EVEN TO TRY AND FAIL IS TO CHOOSE LIFE, TO WIN, INSTEAD OF THE COMFORT OF DEATH, OF WEAKNESS, DEFEAT.

AND I CHOOSE LIFE, THERE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH DEAD PEOPLE ALREADY CHOKING UP THIS WORLD…

I CHOOSE TO LIVE, WHATEVER COMES OF THAT, WHATEVER HAPPENS, WHATEVER THE PRICE I PAY…

I WANT ‘THE POWER OF KNOWING’ MORE THAN THEM, SO I AM NEVER, EVER SCARED AGAIN…

SEE I DON’T JUST WANT TO BE BETTER THAN THEM, I FUCKING NEED IT…

SO ARE YOU COACHABLE OR NOT, do you still think you are CLEVER, YOU ARE A FINISHED ARTICLE, that when you look around you have everything you want, SO YOU WERE RIGHT ALL A LONG, the petty feeling of an invented WIN is YOUR TRUTH, even though you are clearly a TRANSPARENT, DELLUSIONAL CUNT..?

God help you if you do, CAUSE NO ONE IS GOING TO BOTHER WITH YOUR DUMB ASS, as you are clearly just one more pathetic little cunt WAITING TO DIE, all that is left is the petty evil of a sadistic parasite, of your herd, OF A PLAGUE OF INSECTS. I believe the kids these days say you are ‘Delulu…’, which means you can’t see what everyone else sees – YOU THE HARMLESS FUCK UP, YOU THAT WASTES YOUR GIFT ON NOTHING, AND SO DESERVES THE SCORN OF ALL…

But if you can DISSASSOCIATE FROM YOURSELF WITH A SMILE, WITH A JOKE, AND LET ‘YOUR CONSCIENCE FIND YOU’, then there is still hope, BECAUSE NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU THE CHILD, WHAT YOU ARE IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, outside of your CHILDHOOD AUTHORITY, OUTSIDE OF YOUR NEED TO FIT IN WITH ANY OLD SHIT WHICH APPEARS TO ‘HAVE YOUR BACK’, whilst taking the piss out of you so THEY FEEL BRIEFLY POWERFUL…

And that SHIT HAS TO GO, so you can let yourself be DOMINATED BY THE URGENT NEED TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’, because you are US, not THEM – YOU WANT TO GET USED TO WINNING, INSTEAD OF JUST COMFORTING YOURSELF FOR LOSING, like a BITCH. Then you will understand that to ‘SUFFER CONSCIOUSLY’ from the denial of your EGOIC patterns is to KILL THE BITCH, before she kills you, as YOUR CONSCIENCE ONCE TRIED TO TELL YOU..

So why is THE ABILITY TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF SO KEY TO CHANGE? This worth explaining to because it is the KEY TO GETTING GOOD AT ANYTHING, and yes by that I mean your treasured sex and violence too – SEE THIS IS WHAT LIFE ALL BEING ‘A GAME’ ACTUALLY MEANS, but you think you are your PATTERNS…

See ALL HUMOUR IS THE GATEWAY TO PLAY, to enjoy doing something because it is ‘FUN’, which for the dumber amongst you means that you FIND IT ‘FUNNY’ BECAUSE IT AMUSES YOU AS A FEELING, so it is WHAT PLAY ACTUALLY MEANS, WHAT IT IS FOR AT A BIOLOGICAL LEVEL, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY AT AN EVOLUTIONARY LEVEL. ‘PLAY EVOLVES YOU’, WHEN YOU DO IT RIGHT, WHEN YOU USE IT ON YOURSELF – when you are sensitive to something AMUSING YOU IN THE MOMENT, when you learn how to CHASE THAT FEELING AND RECREATE IT IN ANY ACTIVITY BY TURNING IT INTO A GAME THAT IS FUN TO PLAY, RATHER THAN JUST WIN, OR GET DONE QUICKLY…

But YOU don’t use humor that way do you, YOUR HUMOUR, WHAT YOU FIND FUNNY IS DONE TO YOU, ‘YOU WATCH IT’ like a tool, YOU LAUGH AT THINGS, because your child has perverted it. YOU ACTUALLY LEARN IN A STATE OF ANXIETY, BECAUSE LEARNING TO YOU IS ABOUT WINNING, and if you can’t win then the anxiety rapidly overwhelms you and YOU FAIL, OFTEN TO THE POINT THAT YOU ENTER INTO ANY NEW TASK EXPECTING TO FAIL. That is your pattern of learning as ‘NO LEARNING’, ONE OF YOU THE CHILDS MOST DEADLY LITTLE PATTERNS of SELF-DESTRUCTION – YOUR CHILD STOPS YOU LEARNING TO PROTECT ITSELF FROM CHANGE = ITS DEATH. 

See ‘PLAY’ IS SO POWERFUL FOR LEARNING that it is now studied, researched extensively BECAUSE THEY HAVE DISCOVERED THAT PLAY MEANS A SIMPLE 10-20 REPS ARE ALL IT TAKES TO ESTABLISH A NEW PATTERN IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU WANT TOO USE IT, whilst to learn in a state of anxiety means it takes 200-300 reps to establish the same pattern, WHICH IS WHY MOST FOLKS FAIL, AS THEY GIVE UP WAY BEFORE THAT. PLAY is the magic button that you should of learnt as a child how to PRESS IN YOURSELF, but your society has turned play into recreation you do outside of WORK, like a good little slave, so PLAY IS NO LONGER ABOUT LEARNING FOR YOU, its about a basic sense of RELIEF – YOU HAVE RUINED IT FOR YOURSELF.

BUT YOU ARE GIFTED, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO ‘HAVE TO WORK’, EVERYTHING IS SUPPOSED TO BE PLAY – YES EVEN ‘SUFFERING’ IS SUPPOSED TO BE PLAY, AS ITS THE ROUTE 1 WAY TO MAKING YOUR GIFT ‘USEABLE’. See that DARK SENSE of HUMOR, which all gifted have naturally, is sent to save you from JUSTIFYING FAILURE, as it is A REPLACEMENT FOR YOUR PATHETIC EGOIC JUSTIFICATIONS, so it allows you to CHANGE, RATHER THAN SIMPLY RE-ENFORCE THE PATTERNS OF FAILURE. See the failure was YOUR FAULT, YOUR ‘CHILDHOOD PATTERNS’ FAULT, so you MUST OWN THAT, and then LAUGH IT OFF AS ‘NOT YOU’. See, the reason this skill is so magically is that it SEPARATES ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ FROM ‘UNCONSCIOUS, MECHANICAL YOU’ all by itself – YOUR SHIT, AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE, BUT THAT SHIT YOU IS ‘NOT YOU’, that you is your history condensed down into a set of crappy PATTERN reactions, THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED TO CHANGE…

So that SARCASTIC sense of humor that many off us are so famous for is primarily used on ourselves, however much we also use it on you, another one of those tests TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF, I’m afraid. The question is can you learn to EVOKE that sense of humor AT WILL by using YOUR WAY INTO MAKING STUFF FUNNY, so you can FIX ALL THE STUFF YOU HAVE RUINED THE REAL FEELING OF BY FILLING IT WITH ANXIETY INSTEAD, like APPRECIATION, SEX, COMPETITION, CONVERSATION, as that will change your life QUICKER than most things. See the intro to FUNNY is to be CHARMED BY THINGS, which is also the intro into APPRECIATION, but can you take your EGOIC ‘GUARD DOWN’ in order to feel that CHARM, to feel what that classic WITCHES WORD really means, if you are actually GIFTED, or are you just to fucking scared of everything…  

Are you just one more of those SIMPLE MINDED BITCHES who thinks things either amuse you are not in the moment UNCONSCIOUSLY, that you don’t even know what it feels like to be a amused, ITS JUST HAPPENS BY MAGIC, and that thousands of comedians across the world are just FUNNY, naturally, there is no skill in it, BECAUSE YOU, STUPID LITTLE YOU, ARE ‘THAT CLEVER’. See it is the constant level of anxiety you feel THAT STOPS YOU FINDING THINGS FUNNY, because funny starts subtle, but YOU ARE SO TENSE you have to be punched in the face emotionally speaking before you even notice, BECAUSE YOU ARE OVERWHELMED WITH TEDIOUS ANXIETY ABOUT NOTHING AND NO ONE WORTH A DAMN.

These are the skills the best students have been taught already, often by their BETTER THAN AVERAGE PARENTS, question is that even after reading the above DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I’M EVEN TALKING ABOUT? Probably not eh, so you might want to try this stuff even before you TRY AND CHANGE, try and be a good student for once, INSTEAD OF JUST ONE MORE CLEVER LITTLE BITCH, cause you don’t really know SHIT, do you, AND YOU ARE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO EVEN TRY AND FIND OUT, because you are TO FUCKING SCARED, everything is DRAMA, DRAMA, AND THEN MORE MIND NUMBINGLY TEDIOUS LITTLE DRAMA. Even if you just understand how sad and boring you are as a stereotype FOR 1 MIN, how our toes curl having to listen to your low quality shite YOU WOULD WANT TO CHANGE!

That’s why no ONE SERIOUS bothers with you, YOU ARE PAINFUL, AN EMBARRASSMENT TO ALL OF US, AS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE MOST BASIC WAY INTO FEELING SUPERIORITY, THE AMUSEMENT THAT IS THE ROOT OF APPRECIATION, YOU ARE CONTENT TO LIVE A LIFE OF EMPTY RELIEF FROM FEELING INFERIORITY, forever, like a harmless little kid.

THE MORE YOU CHASE RELIEF, THE MORE YOU CHASE THE ANXIETY YOU ‘NEED RELIEF FROM’, you dumb fuck, you are ruining your own life TO MAKE SLAVERY TO ANXIETY SLIGHTLY MORE BEARABLE FOR A MOMENT, which JUST cycles back round to make your ANXIETY EVEN WORSE, which is why you are so dominated by pointless anxiety about pointless things. YOU ACTUALLY NEED THAT ANXIETY TO GET RELIEF FROM IT, CREATING ANXIETY is all your UNCONSCIOUS child does all day, THATS WHY YOU HAVE TO KILL IT – YOU INVENT YOUR ANXIETY ON PURPOSE, YOUR CHILD ‘DOUBLE CROSSESS’ YOU TO THIS END ALL DAMN DAY, SO YOU NEVER GET ‘WHAT YOU WANT’, ALL YOU GET IS RELIEF FROM ‘WHAT YOU DON’T WANT’, GET IT!

So what do you think now eh – are you US or THEM, can you TRY or do you still need to creep around in the background trying to be secretly clever instead, so we all have to humor your delusions, LIKE A DORK. Get the basics of growing up, understand why you need to grow up so you want to grow up – TRY AND GET A BIT BIGGER, SO YOU CAN STOP COMFORTING YOURSELF FOR BEING A TINY LITTLE INSECT, ONE MORE CANCEROUS LITTLE BOIL ON THE ASS OF YOUR LIFE. See the point of all these insults is SO YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF, and then WANT TO DISASSOCIATE FROM WHAT YOU SEE, as its YOUR CURRENT OPINION OF YOURSELF IS ONE HUGE CONJOB – YOU ARE NOT CLEVER, YOU ARE A TOTAL DORK WHO THINKS THEY ARE CLEVER IN SECRET, BUT NOTHING IS SECRET! 

See when you see yourself, like said Frenchwoman, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT DOUBLE CROSSING OTHERS with your lies and cleverness, YOU THE CHILD IS ‘DOUBLE CROSSING’ YOU, robbing you of what you actually want and replacing it with COMFORT, by making all YOUR UNCONSCIOUS self-destructive SHIT NOT ONLY INVISIBLE but so distorted its actually attractive to you, SO YOU WANNA CHASE IT. SEE THAT IS KINDA THE POINT OF GROWING UP, yet most of you will cling on to it until death, as you simply don’t have the BALLS TO FACE IT, DO YOU – YOUR WHOLE LIFE UP TO THIS POINT HAS NO VALUE OTHER THAN TO GET YOU TO THIS POINT, THE POINT OF ‘CHANGING’, everything else is just MORE FANTASY, WHICH IS ‘NOTHING IN REALITY’… 

And yet you, sitting there and reading this, still wonder why I am ‘mean to you’ – YOU WONDER WHY I STILL WAIT FOR YOU TO PASS THE MOST BASIC OF THESE TESTS, why I say it is not even worth talking to you unless you TRY AND PASS, as who the fuck are you bitch? The correct answer, SHOULD YOU BE BIG ENOUGH TO HEAR IT, is that you WANT TO BE a GOOD STUDENT, WHO ‘WANTS TO LEARN’ CAUSE YOU NOW KNOW ‘YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT’, just so you know. SO LOOK UP THE WORD ‘HUMILIATION’, then understand that is ALL YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE IT TO YOURSELF, as that UNDERSTANDING is the beginning of being a GOOD STUDENT.

IF YOU HAVE THE GUTS to let your CONSCIENCE cut through your fantasies of power and cleverness, YOU WILL SEE THE TRUTH, when you ‘STAND UNDER’ YOURSELF and see YOU ARE ‘NOT COOL’ BECAUSE YOU ARE ‘NOT WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE’ IN THE OPINION OF EVERYONE WHO KNOWS YOU, YOU ARE NOT THE YOU THAT JUSTIFIES YOUR FAILURE AND MAKES IT COOL so you don’t have to feel the constant, day to day humiliation of WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME. And I mean you are not even fucking close to that fantasy, YOU SILLY BITCH, because you are TOTALLY, PAINFULLY ‘TRANSPARENT’ while YOU THINK YOU GET AWAY WITH ALL YOUR SHIT, ALL YOUR ‘SECRET THOUGHTS AND FANTASIES’, CAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO CLEVER, so your whole FALSE PERSONALITY IS UNDERPINNED BY YOUR FAKE OPINIONS OF WHAT ‘OTHERS THINK OF YOU’ AS HAVING SOME ‘QUALITY’. And its all total bollocks…

So know the TRUTH of a ‘GOOD STUDENT’:

I AM NOT TRYING TO HUMILIATE YOU FOR FUN, THIS IS THE 4TH WAY, SO ITS ‘TOUGH LOVE’.

I AM SHOWING YOU THAT ‘YOU THE CHILD’, ITS ‘AUTHORITY’ AND ‘PARASITES’ HAVE ALREADY HUMILIATED YOU.

I AM SHOWING YOU HOW TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF ‘DIFFERENTLY’ WITH ‘FEELING THE FEAR’ OF THAT ONGOING HUMILIATION.

I AM SHOWING YOU THERE IS POWER TO CHANGE IN THAT FEAR OF STUPIDITY, POWER TO BRIEFLY EXPAND YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS.

I AM TRYING TO AWAKEN YOUR CONSCIENCE VIA THAT POWER BY GIFTING YOU ITS POWER TO CHANGE VIA SEEING YOURSELF.

I AM DOING THIS BEFORE YOUR SHIT HAPPENS IN ORDER TO GIVE YOU A BETTER CHANCE WHEN YOUR SHIT HAPPENS.

I AM TRYING TO TURN YOU INTO A ‘GOOD STUDENT’ SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO DO THAT YOURSELF…

I AM SHOWING YOU THAT IT IS YOUR WEAKNESS, YOUR LACK OF BOTTLE THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MESS.

BUT I AM SHOWING YOU THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THAT WEAKNESS INTO STRENGTH VIA YOUR CONSCIENCE.

I AM TRYING TO AWAKEN A PAIN POINT OF CONSCIENCE FOR YOU TO GATHER YOUR STRENGTH AROUND,

BUT YOUR SELF-WILLED BADNESS MUST HAVE WEAKENED WITH AGE, FOR IT TO WORK FAST…

DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW..? 

THIS IS THE PATH YOU HAVE CHOSEN, SO WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU TO ‘GET OLD’ AND ‘BROKEN’, AS PART OF THAT CHOICE!

SO I AM SHOWING YOU THAT YOUR SHIT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, THAT IT ‘HAS TO HAPPEN’ – IT IS THE RESULT OF YOUR CONTINUAL EVERYDAY ‘CHOICE’ TO CHASE MORE FUTURE ANXIETY AS YOU CHASE THE MOMENTARY RELIEF OF FELT ANXIETY IN THE NOW.

SEE I AM YOUR SHIT, YOU FOOL, THAT IS THE POINT OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME, BUT YOU WILL GET FAR MORE THAN THAT, AS THANKFULLY AT LEAST ONE OF US KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE DOING…

SO DON’T CRY, THIS IS YOUR PATH, CHOSEN BY YOU LONG AGO, NOT ME, SO NOW YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH THAT, AND THE 1ST STEP IS TO ‘FACE IT’ BY UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU HAVE DONE UNCONSCIOUSLY ALL THESE YEARS, AND WHY YOU HAVE DONE IT…

IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT YOU DID NOT KNOW THAT AT THE TIME, NO ONE DOES AT THE TIME, BUT THIS IS HOW IT WORKS, AS THIS IS HOW YOU WILL COME TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PATTERNS OF POINTLESS RELIEF.

THIS IS THE WAY YOU START TO REMEMBER YOUR ‘LOST SOUL’, BEFORE YOU SUCCEED IN DESTROYING IT…

Yet ALL you LOST SOULS with your BELOVED SAVIOUR COMPLEX STILL DON’T KNOW the answer to the first TEST DO YOU? Even after all the examples from said Frenchwoman, all her waiting for the WORST TO HAPPEN, until the ACTUAL DEATH you chase actually HAPPENS and no one is there to stop it? 

Ok, so its this – THE LOST SOUL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS (THE 2ND LOWEST) IS A FORM OF SLEEP (BETTER DRUNKNESS) WHICH DELAYS YOUR EXPEREINCE OF REALITY LONG ENOUGH THAT YOU DON’T SEE THE MEANING OF WHAT YOU DO IN THE MOMENT OF DOING IT, THE HUMILIATION. SO OVERTIME YOU HAVE LITERALLY STOPPPED LOOKING FOR THAT MEANING, AND JUST DRIFT THROUGH LIFE REACTING TO WHAT ‘HAPPENS TO YOU’ BLINDLY, AS ITS NORMAL FOR YOU. YOU DON’T CHOOSE ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU DON’T SEE THE MEANING OF WHAT YOU DOING, ‘THE WHY’ OF IT, SO YOU HAVE NO OPTIONS BUT YOUR REACTION, EVEN STOPPING YOURSELF TAKES FEAR AT A TERROR LEVEL. YOUR THOUGHTS ONLY HAPPEN AFTER REACTION, AS THAT IS THE ONLY TIME YOU CAN THINK, BY ‘REFLECTING IN RETROSPECT’, AFTER ‘BOTH’ THINGS HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU AND YOU HAVE REACTED TO THEM IN WHAT APPEARS TO YOU AS THE SELF SAME MOMENT OF THEM HAPPENING – AND THIS IS DEADLY BECAUSE:

YOU NO LONGER EXPEREINCE REALITY IN YOUR MIND, YOUR EXPEREINCE YOUR REACTION TO REALITY, YOUR CHILDISH ‘INTERPRETATION OF REALITY’ AS ACTUAL REALITY, SO YOU EXPEREINCE A SELF MADE FANTASY, A DELUSION.

WHAT THIS MEANS IS THAT YOU CREATE YOUR REALITY IN TERMS OF ‘WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU’. 

BE VERY CLEAR – YOU THINK YOUR REALITY IS YOUR EGOS UNCONSCIOUS REACTION TO REALITY, BECAUSE YOU ARE SO SLOW, THAT IS WHAT DELUSION ‘IS’ – YOU HAVE REPLACED ‘WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING TO YOU’ WITH ‘YOUR REACTION TO WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU’, SO EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS REAL IS ACTUALLY A TWISTED INTERPRETATION BY YOUR PATTERNS. NONE OF IT IS REAL, IT IS ALL FORMULAIC REACTIVE SHIT FROM CHILDHOOD, IT IS FALSE INSTINCT, EVEN THE MOST DEEPLY FELT ‘MOMENTARY’ PANGS OF ANIMAL EMOTION ARE AN INVENTION, AND WILL PASS QUICKER AND QUICKER IF YOU ‘LEARN TO UNLEARN’ THEM, BY STANDING AGAINST THEM, AND HAVE SOME ‘CLASS’. REALITY ND YOUR INTERPRETATION OF REALITY ARE COMPLETELY SEPARATE IN TIME, SO YOU CAN’T CONTROL REALITY, BUT YOU CAN AND MUST QUESTION YOUR INTERPRETATION OF IT AS PROBABLY FALSE INSTINCT SENT TO FUCK YOU OVER, AGAIN.   

TO PASS THE TEST YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THE WORD ‘HAPPEN’ – IT COMES FROM THE OLD NORSE ‘HAP’, WHICH MEANS FATE, CHANCE, UNCONTROLLED, HENCE WORDS LIKE ‘MISHAP’ = BAD LUCK, WHICH STILL HAS ITS OLD MEANING. SO WHAT YOU THINK IS HAPPENING TO YOU AND HENCE YOUR REACTION TO IT IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL, UNLESS A POWERFUL EMOTION LIKE FEAR, WHICH HITS HARD AND IS MUCH, MUCH QUICKER THAN YOUR THOUGHTS, INTERVENES TO SPEED UP YOUR CONSCIOUS EXPEREINCE OF LIFE AND ALLOWS YOU TO STOP YOUR CHILDS PATTERN REACTION IN ‘REALTIME’ – WITHOUT REAL INSTINCTIVE FEAR MANY OF YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DEAD DECADES AGO. BUT ALL YOUR ANIMAL EMOTIONS (FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM) ARE NOW ALL LINKED TO THE FALSE INSTINCTS OF YOUR PATTERNS SO ARE USED TO CONTROL YOU OVER AND ABOVE YOUR REAL INSTINCTS, ONLY YOUR HIGHER CONSCIENCE LEVEL EMOTIONS ARE ACTUALLY TRUSTWORTHY, BECAUSE THEY DRAG YOUR REFLECTVE THOUGHTS INTO THE NOW ‘HONESTLY’.

SO FOR YOU BUNCH OF FUCK UPS, YOU MUST WORK CONSCIOUSLY ON SPEEDING UP YOUR REFLECTIVE THOUGHTS INTO THE NOW OF YOUR REACTIONS, TO GET FAST ENOUGH TO STOP YOUR REACTIONS BEFORE THEY ACT OUT, SIMPLY BY ASKING ‘WHY’ DO YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU INSTINCTIVELY WANT TO DO IN THE MOMENT, AND WHEN PRACTISED ENOUGH STOPPING IT UNLESS IT IS ESSENTIAL TO A GOAL. BUT WHEN YOU THE CHILD USES THE EMOTION OF FALSE INSTINCTS ON YOU THAT ACTION OF ‘SELF CHECKING’ WILL BE INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, AND YOU WILL ‘SUFFER CONSCIOUSLY’ FROM DENYING YOURSELF THAT RELIEF EVEN IF YOU CAN DO IT, THAT COMFORT OF AN EASY RELEASE OF TENSION FEELS LIKE TORTURE TO DENY, EVEN THOUGH THAT SAVED ENERGY IS RECYCLED INTO YOUR EXPEREINCED CONSCIOUS LEVEL VERY FAST – IT INCREASES YOUR SPEED OF THOUGHT, SO YOU BECOME MORE ALIVE, WHAT NEW AGES CALL PRESENT OR GROUNDED IN THE MOMENT, SO YOU CAN CHOOSE ‘BETTER THAN’. SEE THIS SKILL FEEDS ITSELF – IF YOU GET QUICKER AT SEEING YOUR REACTIONS AND STOPPING THEM, PARTICUARLY WHEN HIGHLY EMOTIONAL, THEN YOU GET QUICKER STILL NEXT TIME…

FOR LOST SOULS, THE TEST, THE ‘TRICK TO KNOWING’ IF YOU LIKE IS SIMPLY THIS –  ‘FEAR IS THE KEY’ – YOU MUST REALIZE YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME. YOU HAVE GONE BEYOND NORMAL SELF DESTRUCTION, BEYOND SABOTAGING YOU OWN HEARTS DESIRE, BEYOND DOUBLE CROSSING YOURSELF AT EVERY TURN AND NOW YOU THE CHILD IS PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH YOU, IN THE SURE KNOWLEDGE THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL LOSE, BECAUSE IT WANTS YOU TO LOSE. NOW ALL THE ANXIETY IT CREATES IN ORDER TO FOCUS YOUR DESIRES ON GETTING RELIEF FROM THAT ANXIETY ARE ALL THAT MATTER – YOU ARE LITTLE MORE THAN A HAND GRENADE WITH THE PIN OUT, AND EVERYONE CAN SEE IT BUT YOU. THAT IS WHY THEY HATE YOU, EVEN AS THEY USE YOU, THAT IS WHY ‘YOU DESERVE IT’, AND WHY THEY HAVE TO BETRAY AND HURT YOU IN ORDER TO WASH YOU OFF THEMSELVES, BECAUSE BEING FRIENDS WITH ‘FUCK UPS’ IS CREEPY, UNLUCKY, DEMEANING, AND FRANKLY #CRINGE – ‘EVERYBODY HATES LAZY WHORES, THEY ARE DISLOYAL’.

LONG STORY SHORT, THIS REALIZATION EVOKES A VERY PARTICULAR TYPE OF ‘SELF CONSCIOUSNESS’ THAT MANY LOST SOULS ARE VERY FAMILIAR WITH SINCE CHILDHOOD – THE FEAR OF EMBARRASSMENT, OF MAKING ‘A FOOL OF YOURSELF’. YOU COULD EVEN SAY THAT MANY OF THE MOST HIGHLY GIFTED LOST SOULS ARE ACTUALLY MADE THIS WAY, BECAUSE WITHOUT A CLASS SYSTEM WHAT HAPPENS IS THAT THE UN-SCHOOLED RUN FROM THIS VISCERAL FEAR OF EMBARRASSMENT AND SEEK TO COMFORT THEMSELVES, USUALLY VIA ATTENTION AND/OR SECRECY, WHICH BECOMES A PERVERSION OF YOUR NATURAL GIFTED EVOLUTION. SO YOU USE YOUR GIFTED LEVEL OF SELF CONSCIOUSNESS WRONGLY, AND SO DEGRADE IT, DEGRADE YOURSELF, YET IT CAN FEEL AMAZING, BECAUSE IT IS YOUR GIFT STUPID, SO IF YOU CAN SIT WITH IT AND NOT SEEK TO COMFORT YOURSELF, AS ANY CLASS SYSTEM WILL TEACH YOU, THEN YOU WOULD NATURALLY DEVELOP THE BOTTLE YOU NEED – MAINTAINING A HIGHER LEVEL VIA THIS SELF CONSCIOUS STATE IS THE NATURAL PATH FOR YOU, WHAT YOU SHOULD OF BEEN TAUGHT AS A KID.

BUT YOU CAN’T SEE THAT NOW, CAN YOU, YOU JUST THINK THAT ATTENTION MEANS COMFORT FROM THE CHILDHOOD ANXIETY OF PAINFUL SELF CONSCIOUSNESS, WHICH IS THE ONLY ACCESS YOU HAVE TO THE POWER OF YOUR GIFT – YOU HAVE MADE YOURSELF INTO A SAD LITTLE ‘FREAK’ VIA MISUSING YOUR GIFT, BUT YOU ARE NOT A FREAK AT ALL, NATURALLY. HOWEVER MUCH IT FEELS SO COUNTER-INTUITIVE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CONSCIOUSLY WANT TO LIVE, TO FEEL ALIVE BY ANY NUMBER OF SELF DESTRUCTIVE WAYS IT HAS ALL BEEN PERVERTED INTO A FORM OF DEATH, OF CHASING MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL PAIN THAT END IN YOUR DEATH. SO YOU MUST USE THIS REALIZATION TO DOUBT EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU WANT, TO ASK ‘WHY – WHAT GOOD WILL COME OFF THIS WEAKNESS?’, RECOGNIZE IN YOURSELF THAT TWINGE OF YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX THE MOMENT BEFORE IT CREATES YOUR DISTORTED PERCEPTION OF REALITY BECAUSE THAT DOUBT WILL SPEED UP YOUR THOUGHTS WHEN YOU SEE THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY WHAT IS HAPPENING, YOU ARE FORCING IT TO HAPPEN, HOWEVER MUCH APPEARS TO YOU ARE RANDOM CHANCE.

THE MASTER PATTERN OF ACHIEVING THIS EASILY IS TO USE HUMOR, TO LAUGH AT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO FEEL A BIT BETTER AS AT THAT POINT YOU REALIZE IT IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT AT ALL, IT IS WHAT ‘IT’ WANTS ‘IN THE PRESENT’ BUT CONSCIOUS YOU IS WHAT YOU WANT ‘IN THE FUTURE’, EVEN IF THAT IS JUST THE NEXT 5MINS. AND YOU MUST DO THIS BEFORE YOU GET TO THE END OF THAT FRENCHWOMAN, BECAUSE IT IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY ANYONE WILL BE THERE TO STOP IT ‘HAPPENING’, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL CARE ABOUT A 2 FACED PIECE OF SHIT LIKE YOU – YOU HAVE NO CLASS, SO WHAT IS THERE TO CARE ABOUT..?   

So… DO YOU think KNOWING THIS will HELP YOU when your SHIT HAPPENS, even though IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT..?

Do you STILL FEEL secretly CLEVER KNOWING YOUR SHIT WILL HAPPEN ANYWAY, because you actually WANT IT TO HAPPEN UNCONSCIOUSLY..?

SO DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW BEFORE YOUR SHIT HAPPENS, AND CAN YOU DO IT, so you have a CHANCE WHEN YOUR SHIT HAPPENS?

LMFAO – LAUGH OFF THE TRAINWRECK THAT IS ‘YOU THE CHILD’ AND CHANGE, WHILE YOU STILL CAN BABE, cause one day YOU WILL LOSE YOUR GRIP ON THAT HAND GRENADE, AND IT WILL GO OFF WITH SUCH A HELL OF A BANG THAT YOU PROBABLY WON’T SURVIVE IT. Even if you can limp on you will be broken beyond repair, indeed it will actually be cruel to try and help you, so all that is left is the ‘PITY OF UGLY STRANGERS’, and then you will want to kill yourself, BECAUSE CRAVING ATTENTION AS COMFORT ENDS with EVERYONE LOOKING AWAY, and ‘your best friends will deny even knowing you…’.

But all you have to do to avoid that FATE is SEE, RIGHT NOW, THE PRESENCE OF YOUR GIFT BEHIND ALL your ATTENTION SEEKING CRAP, and chase that POWER, instead OF YOUR OWN PETTY, STEREOTYPICAL AND FRANKLY ‘BORING’ AS FUCK ‘UNCONSCIOUS SUICIDAL IDEATION’.

Surely, EVEN THE LITTLE THAT IS LEFT OF ‘YOU’ NOW is still better than that TEDIOUS SHIT, eh, so however far or near stupid little you ‘thinks’ YOUR SHIT IS, know that one day it will HAPPEN out of the blue before your very ‘eyes’, and EVERYTHING YOU THINK ‘JUSTIFIES YOU’ WILL EVAPORATE, and it will just be YOU AND YOUR SHIT, with ONLY YOU TO BLAME, as their is NOTHING THAN JUSTIFIES IT, and everyone knows you are POND LIFE.

So do yourself the biggest favor YOU WILL EVER DO, RIGHT NOW – REALIZE YOUR SHIT IS WAITING TO HAPPEN, RIGHT NOW, BEHIND EVERY DOOR AND OUTSIDE EVERY WINDOW YOU SEE, and be ready for it, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT, don’t you – EVOKE YOUR SENSE OF CHILDHOOD SELF CONSCIOUSNESS BECAUSE IT IS YOUR GIFT TRYING TO HELP YOU, it is the TEST YOU FAILED ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, so try and pass it now, eh. HAVE SOME CLASS BITCH, see that however much you are stuck in your PATTERNS, the tiny number of COMFORTING ONES that dominate your whole life, sending round and round in the same dead circles, however weak and gutless you have become so even stairs terrify you when drunk, YOU CAN STILL FEEL FEAR, CAN’T YOU. See those comforting patterns only exist in THE MOOD OF INFERIORITY, without that shit those patterns simply ‘dry up’ and blow away…

To paraphrase the words of said Frenchwoman, said to me as ONLY WAY TO HELP HER KIND of FUCK UP – ‘The only way to reach the worst of us is TO SCARE OUR OLD SHIT OUT OF US, and you must do it FOR REAL, YOU MUST SHOW THEM THE DOWNSIDE for REAL, as then THE FEAR that dominates them CAN CHANGE THEM, as that FACT is all these NASTY CUNTS KNOW FOR SURE. You must BREAK THEM, all else just bounces off because we THINK YOU ARE A GOOD, and we can get away with murder, so leave the ‘good bad-man’ at home for once, and GET ON WITH IT, help us help ourselves – WE CANNOT CHANGE OURSELVES, YOU MUST DO IT, IF YOU CAN BRING YOURSELF TO CARE ENOUGH ABOUT US, as that is HOW WE SEE IT, HOW WE FEEL THE TRUTH OF IT. It is the only way…’.

The issue, of course is THAT I DON’T CARE, however much you ACT UP – I’ve seen it all before a thousand times, and there are many others STRONGER THAN YOU, CLEVERER THAN YOU, FASTER THAN YOU, BRAVER THAN YOU, who deserve that CARE FAR, FAR more than YOU do. So LOOK AT YOUR DESTINY NOW, LOOK AT THE DESTINY OF YOUR TRITE LITTLE STEREOTYPE, OF YOUR HERD, and make the effort TO SCARE YOURSELF instead – put your foot on the bottom rung of this ladder, you silly bitch, show me something worth caring about enough to even fucking notice, OR GET OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY.

Your shit will find you soon enough, whatever HAPPENS, so embrace the class system of EVOLUTION, of US and THEM, its your only chance. See the reason I TEACH and said Frenchwoman does not, is that I know YOU EITHER HAVE A CONSCIENCE, or YOU DON’T, all else is just details, a question of extremes, just more blah blah, fucking blah – SO REMEMBER ‘THE CLASS OF YOUR SHAME’, as that is what makes you BETTER THAN them, and what ultimately SAVED HER, not me.

The CLASS OF ELITISM which SHE ALREADY HAD is A MOOD, AN ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR HEART that KNOWS YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS, BETTER THAN THEM, MORE SPIRITED AND ALIVE THAN THOSE TEDIOUS FUCKING ANIMALS which then CREATES the feeling of SUPERIORITY, that dries out all YOUR INFERIORITY. This MOOD CHANGE becomes YOUR REALITY if you can be bothered TO PLAY THAT ROLE, instead of remaining stuck in all these other crappy ROLES you have been stuck in since childhood, as you CAN’T SEE ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF THOSE ROLES UNTIL YOU STEP OUTSIDE OF THEM and LOOK BACK AT THE HOPELESS PEOPLE PLEASING LITTLE CUNT YOUR ONCE WHERE!

Those CHILDHOOD ‘MOOD ROLES’ have created your current reality, they infect everything you see, hear, say, think, feel – CHANGE YOURSELF BY CHANGING YOUR MOOD AND CHANGE YOUR REALITY! Surely, even YOU THE CHILD wants to be BETTER THAN THE CREEPY, GUTLESS INSIGNIFICANT ‘THING’ you have become, eh, and when you SEE YOURSELF acting in these creepy, gutless and insignificant ways YOU WILL REALIZE THAT IS WHAT YOU ‘ARE’, NOT WHAT YOU THINK ‘YOU GET AWAY WITH’. That HIDDEN YOU, with all its SECRET OPINIONS AND OBVIOUS LIES, is just another one of your fantasies which YOU THE CHILD USES TO STOP YOU DOING ANYTHING ‘REAL’, whilst making you even fucking weaker than you are now, SO YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY DO ANY-BLODDY-THING BUT GO ALONG WITH THE HERD, with the LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR of the UGLIEST SHIT IN THE STREET, anymore…

And THEN YOU WILL GET ‘IT’ – THAT YOU ARE TOTALLLY FUCKING FAKE, LAYER UPON LAYER OF SELF SERVING, COMFORTING FAKE SHIT – and YOU WILL HATE ‘IT’, you will LOOK BACK AT IT, and hate the patterns of IT, the comfort of IT, and YOU WILL FORCE YOURSELF TO PLAY A BETTER ROLE THAT THIS ‘IT’, as frankly you will wonder just how the fuck you managed to live even this long BECAUSE:

YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY I AM MEAN TO ‘ALL OF YOU’, 

BECAUSE THAT MEANESS GIVES A SMALL NUMBER OF YOU A CHANCE TO CHANGE, AS ‘YOU’ CAN ‘SEE THROUGH IT’.

SO YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO FIND YOURSELF, A CHANCE TO BE YOURSELF, A CHANCE TO ‘KNOW’, A CHANCE TO ‘LIVE’,

SEE MOST OF YOU HAVE TO FAIL SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION 101 IN ORDER TO CREATE THAT CHANCE FOR THE OTHERS.

THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY THE WORLD IS, AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN DOMINATED BY THE POWER OF SPIRITUALITY,

BY THOSE WHO DEVELOP THEMSELVES BY FOLLOWING THE MYSTERY SCHOOLS OF THE ANCIENTS, BY ‘NATURAL ROYALTY’,

AND YOU WILL FINALLY GET THE US AND THEM THING, SO YOU WILL FIND YOUR PLACE, YOUR LEVEL, AND ‘DO’ WHAT YOU WANT,

BECAUSE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY THINGS HAVE TO BE THE WAY THEY ARE, AND NONE OF US CAN CHANGE THAT…

AND YOU WILL NEVER LOOK BACK AT THE UNEDUCATED FOOL YOU ONCE WHERE, SO SEE YOURSELF, RIGHT NOW, AS THAT FOOL, AND CHANGE.

I don’t make these rules, frankly none of us know why it has to be this way, why it has to BE COMPETATIVE, but there is no escape from it, as these RULES PRE-DATE TIME ITSELF, and no one has ever managed to change that, FOR GOOD OR ILL – THERE IS ‘AN EVOLUTIONARY BALANCE’, A SET NUMBER OF ‘OCCUPIED LEVELS’ THAT MUST BE MAINTAINED IN THIS WORLD. Yes, your SOCIETIES ‘ABSTRACT’, LIBERAL, WOKE, WORTHY ‘GOOD WORLD’, FULL OF GOOD PEOPLE simply does not exist, BECAUSE IT IS AGAINST NATURE, indeed by your own FAKE standards your ‘GOD’ was a VINDICTIVE, VIOLENT, GENOCIDAL MANIAC.

So understand THE CONCEPT OF CHOICE IS AN ILLUSION, if you are GIFTED you either FACE IT and CHANGE, or you BOTTLE IT, COMFORT YOURSELF and BURN – at any meaningful level of GIFT you have ‘a target on your back’, that is why YOUR SHIT WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU, unless YOU FIND IT FIRST. THAT IS WHAT THE SELF CONSCIOUS LEVEL OF ‘FEAR OF EMBARRASSMENT’ you had as a child is actually for, so maybe try and take that test again – MAYBE TRY AND PASS IT THIS TIME, so CHOOSE to CONSCIOUSLY SUFFER FROM THE POWER OF YOUR GIFT AS A FORM OF ‘ENJOYMENT OF YOUR STATUS’, rather than run away like a rat…

If you can do this, IF YOU CAN RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THIS MOST BASIC WAY I or someone like me WILL HELP YOU, in my case I will change you felt experience of LIFE by helping you KILL YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, usually by showing you why EVERY ANCIENT ROYAL ON THIS PLANET ONCE ADVERTISED ‘THIER MEEKNESS’ BEFORE ‘THEIR GOD’ as JOB 1, to ensure their own kind RECOGNIZED THEM and treated them accordingly, JUST AS MANY ROYALS DO TO THIS DAY – YOU WILL SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL YOU AND IT, in terms of how it feels, IN TERMS OF ‘ITS’ TENSION SIGNATURE.

The POWER in that explanation of the Physical Process of ‘Blessed are the MEEK, FOR THEY SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH’ in its Christian version will empower you, or more correctly EMPOWER WHAT YOU ‘ARE’ which overarches your tedious little personality as ‘YOUR STYLE OF GIFT’, so you will understand that ‘MEEKNESS’ means a POSTURE TO HOLD YOURSELF, ‘INHERIT’ is A PROCESS of ENERGIZING YOURSELF, and ‘THE EARTH’ means that ENERGY comes through the use of YOUR FEET, because I will literally sow you how to do it for YOUR STYLE OF GIFT, and so how to change your MOOD.

See, you are MEEK IN THE FACE OF YOUR GOD in order to feel BIGGER IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY ELSE. Right now your INFERIORITY is all you are, so ‘YOU FEEL SMALL’ IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING ELSE, that is why your INFERIORITY COMPLEX ‘ACTS OUT’, giving you both the DESIRE TO COMFORT YOURSELF WITH ‘RELIEF’ and to ATTACK WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL INFERIOR, TO BE RIGHT, TO BE CLEVER, HOWEVER SECRETLY THAT GIVES YOU A SENSE OF RELIEF AS WELL, TO RECLAIM A SENSE OF IMPORTANCE BY WINNING A COMPETITION THAT NO ONE ELSE EVEN NOTICES, BECAUSE IT IS ONLY IMPORTANT TO YOU, YOU DORK. When you understand that being a SMALL THING makes ‘EVERYTHING OWN YOU’, but being a MUCH BIGGER THING makes YOU OWN EVERYTHING, than you will never DOUBT MEEKNESS AGAIN, as ‘MEEKNESS IS A PROCESS THAT ENDS IN YOU FEELING NOT MEEK’ (Sorry, Dickens…).

Then you will be at the RACES, ready to COMPETE, because then YOUR LIFE WILL IMPROVE, JUST BECAUSE ‘YOUR MOOD’ WILL IMPROVE, and you will understand that A FELT SUPERIORITY COMPLEX is simply to be free of your felt inferiority complex. Then you will UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR GIFT is a LEVEL OF NATURAL ROYALTY AS ‘A BIRTHRIGHT’, not some small advantage to be traded away for an easier life, BUT SOMETHING TO BE KEPT FOR YOURSELF, TO BE GUARDED AND PRIZED ABOVE ALL ELSE, to be PROTECTED WITH YOUR LIFE, BECAUSE IT IS ‘YOUR LIFEFORCE ITSELF’…

See WHEN YOU GET THE US AND THEM THING, when the shock of it hits, YOU WILL REALIZE THAT IT IS NOT A TYPE OF CLASS, or some other ‘sliding scale’ of quality that makes you a bit better in the moment, it really means ‘THE LIVING’ and ‘THE DEAD’, as that is the difference between the spirited and the animals – you will SEE that outside of your own kind everyone else is already dead, they are simply organic robots WHO BARELY UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU SAY UNLESS YOU TALK TO THEM AS CHILDREN. Then all of this GETS REAL EASY, because you will crave the PRESENCE OF YOUR OWN KIND as a feeling, as the impact of felt STRENGH of better than MEANS ‘BIGGER THAN’, and the revulsion against felt weakness of worse than, which MEANS SMALLER THAN, start to control your life CONSCIOUSLY. 

Then you will be able to OPEN YOUR HEART to the rest of this, your DEFENSIVE PATTERNS THAT MAKE UP YOUR CHILDISH EGO, constructed long ago and far way, will no longer interest you, and you will start to live life without a suit of armor on, as YOU DON’T NEED IT ANYMORE to protect and smother your sensitive spirit. You will WILLING SUFFER FROM THAT SENSITIVITY, as that sensitivity is ‘THE ONE WHO KNOWS’, and your ‘no character’ THAT DOES NOT KNOW SHIT was only ever a temporary holding action, to help you cope with GROWING UP by developing some BOTTLE, BUT WHICH YOU SOCIETY FORGOT TO TELL YOU, BECAUSE NOW WE ARE ALL EQUAL WITH THE ANIMALS, so YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE YOU, anymore.

So, you will understand YOUR GIFT IS NOT an over sensitive CURSE, it was the natural evolution of the bloodline started by your ANCESTORS hundreds if not thousands of years ago, by someone long dead and LONG FORGOTTEN, but who HAS GIFTED YOU THEIR LEVEL, that they earned THE HARD WAY, at your birth. That is HOW THE LAWS OF NATURAL ROYALTY WORK and why there is no escape from it – GIFTED DON’T GET TO CHOOSE WHO THEY ARE, THEY JUST GET TO ‘FIND IT’, should they have the guts to TRY AND FIND OUT, as that is what ALL Spiritual Development really ever is. The style of your GIFT is FORCED ON YOU, on YOUR LIFESTYLE, as that is HOW YOUR LIFESTYLE WORKS ‘BEST’, to run from it means YOU WILL ALWAYS FAIL, particularly as you age. 

But you MUST still TRY, as TRYING MAKES ENERGY no matter what goal you choose, no matter if you pass or fail in that moment, and no matter how GIFTED YOU ARE, you still need ENERGY TO WAKE UP, which is why I teach you ‘MEEKNESS’, when you are ready to commit to this, as that is ‘THE ROYAL WAY’, that is RAJA YOGA, the only natural yoga, plus it will help remove YOUR SOCIETAL PROGRAMMING against THE FELT SUPERIORITY that comes next as a bad thing, BECAUSE THAT IS A CON, yet I see that perverted con stop 50% of modern people COMMITTING TO THIS, as their LIBERAL brainwashing is too strong. Every Royal on this planet has always been taught the importance of a sacred space, a private chapel to lock themselves away and ‘Be Meek’ in front of ‘Their God’, so they can then leave that space and ‘BE a God’ in front of everyone else, yet silly little you think we are all equal and meekness is weakness, WHICH MAKES EVERYONE ‘LESS THAN’…

Clever, eh, so ‘DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM’ and START NOW to harvest that energy (Sorry, Andy…) – you never need to reach that star, YOU NEED THE ENERGY OF TRYING TO REACH THAT STAR to DEVELOP YOURSELF AND GROW THE FUCK UP. DO GET IT NOW – YOU ARE GIFTED, YOU ARE ROYALTY, AND THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM IT AS ALL ELSE IS THE ‘CURSED’ FAILURE AND CONTINUAL ‘HUMILIATION’ OF YOUR (NOT SO) RANDOM ‘HAPPENINGS’…

SO WHY NOT TRY, surely you don’t want to look back at your childhood and know it was the best YOU WILL EVER BE, as you slowly but surely rot away, BUT ONLY YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR POWERS HAVE DECLINED ENOUGH SO CAN ACTUALLY GO AGAINST THEM, before they have NOT YET declined so much YOU HAVE TOO LITTLE LEFT TO WORK WITH. So even if your shit has not YET found you, there is no harm in getting used to the PROCESS in meantime, is there, BECAUSE WHEN YOU NEED IT, YOU WILL NEED IT FAST, otherwise the WALL OF YOUR SHIT You the child has so carefully built for you will look like a MOUNTAIN, and you will simply break down and accept your fate in front of that OBSTACLE, and then GET EVEN WORSE, like she did, over and over again…

So I will give you this last little list of truisms, to help get you started – it can be very difficult to accept that your current STATE OF MIND is HYPNOTIZED STATE, where you only see the things that you have BEEN trained to see, and don’t see what you have been trained not to see, as that is WHAT ‘DELUSION’ IS – you must FIND A WAY INTO THIS REALIZATION BASED ON YOUR ‘MOOD CHANGES’, particularly as these Mood swings are what causes your inferiority to continually reset itself, which is a huge issue for Lost Souls, even when they know they WANT TO CHANGE, but can’t, as they are STUCK IN A MOOD THEY CANNOT GET OUT OF…  

Yes, you must try and understand the BASELINE MOOD OF INFERIORITY, AGAINST THE MOOD OF SUPERIORITY in small things, because the point of so many of these tests is to get you up to the BASIC standard of a WINNER, because you have been brave enough to TRY AND WIN, in the many race heats, the county, state, national, international FINALS that development is. Felt Superiority is letting the race play out and helping the winners, and you would be surprised just how much of your life is dominated by this simple mechanism already, you just need to get you are in the race, not us, WE ARE ABOVE YOU, whilst YOU ARE BENEATH US, so you must compete WITH YOURSELF THE BIG KID and START TO WIN all the fucking time, so winning becomes a habit that REPLACES LOSING AND COMFORTING YOURSELF AS A HABIT, which is how you live now.

So no matter how bigger lost soul you have become, however much your ‘limiting beliefs’ have surpassed self sabotage and become a terrifying reality of automatic reactions to invented ANXIETY  you SKIP OVER, and only feel as ‘desires for comfort from those fears’, no matter how much your intrinsic gifted cleverness has turned in on itself as a form of rabid overthinking so you appear to be the most flakey and basic of all bitches, know all of what follows is true for you. YOUR DELUSIONS, YOUR INABILITY TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING MAKES YOU DUMB AS FUCK, BUT YOU THINK YOU ARE BEING CLEVER BY ‘TRYING TO BE CLEVER’ AS A FORM OF COMFORT, WHICH MAKES YOU EVEN FUCKING DUMBER, OBVIOUS, TRANSPARENT AND YOU ARE MANIPULATED BY THIS NEED INTO DOING THE DUMBEST SHIT, BOTH BY YOU THE CHILD AND MANY OF THE PARASITES THAT SURROUND YOU.

The only way to taste THE FREEDOM that so many RELIGIONS BASED THEIR ENTIRE TEACHING ON IS TO SEE THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING IN RELATION TO WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING – THAT IS WHAT ‘THE TRUTH’ IS = TO KNOW THE ACTUALLY POINT OF YOUR REACTIONS ‘IN THE FUTURE’, BUT EXPERIENCED IN THE NOW OF DOING THEM, NOT JUST AFTERWARDS. THAT IS THE EVOLUTIONARY POINT OF YOUR CONSCIENCE, WHAT IT IS FOR AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS = TO FEEL BOTH THE BIG BUT SUBTLER FEELING OF YOUR CONSCIENCE AND THE TEMPORARY, GRUBBY BUT MUCH FASTER LITTLE NEEDS OF YOUR VISCERAL ‘FAKE’ ANIMAL DESIRES AT THE SAME BLOODY TIME, AND MAKE BETTER CHOICES… 

See that one of the greatest BENEFITS OF STARTING DEVELOPMENT IS TO UNDERSTAND JUST HOW STUPID YOU APPEAR TO BE, because you the big kid FORCES YOU TO PRETEND TO BE STUPID, even when you are not, BUT you don’t feel stupid, YOU FEEL OVERWHELMED, simply BECAUSE YOU HAVE BECOME SO WEAK. That weakness will trap you forever into SEEKING COMFORT FROM FELT WEAKNESS, INTO WANTING ‘NOW’ WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DON’T WANT 5mins from now, but you have already caused that future 5mins to happen IN THE NOW OF ACTING OUT YOUR WEAKNESS, the action and the consequences of your action cannot be separated. IT IS A CYCLE, A WASHING MACHINE OF SHIT, AND IT WON’T END UNLESS YOU END IT, SO YOU MUST SEE THAT CYCLE IN THE NOW, SO IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE ACTION, SO THE ACTION LOSES ITS POWER OVER YOU…

So, to a greater or lesser extent, UNDERSTAND YOURSELF – if your PATTERNS OF FEAR HAVE A VERY STRONG HOLD OVER YOU THE CONCEPT OF CHANGING YOUR CHARACTER in terms of ‘CHANGING WHAT YOU DO INSTINCTIVELY’ WILL BE A ‘BLIND SPOT’. So you will need to focus on PLAYING A ROLE as defined below first, as that is the ONLY WAY YOU CAN DO IT, if all change has remained THEORETICAL, SELF HELP YOU JUST READ ABOUT, ie YOU CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT CHANGE IN YOUR DARKER MOMENTS, you never actually act any different, let alone speak or think any different. So YOU WILL BE WAY TOO MENTALLY SLOW FOR NORMAL METHODS, you can only ever watch what you do automatically, and then wonder why you DO IT later, SO YOU MUST PLAN ALL YOUR CHANGES WAY IN ADVANCE OF DOING THEM, then ACT THEM OUT AS A SCRIPT IN THE MOMENT, FORCE THEM…

• You live in a NORMAL MOOD Delusion MADE UP OF INFERIORITY, so you must accept what that means, EVERYTHING IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS BECAUSE YOU FORCE YOUR MOOD ON THINGS THAT ARE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, EVERYTHING LOOKS DIFFERENT IN ONE MOOD SWING TO THE NEXT, SO CONTROLLING YOU MOOD IS THE KEY TO SEEING REALITY. ALLOWING YOUR UN-NATURAL MOODS TO CONTROL WHAT YOU DO BY CONTROLLING THE SUBSET OF REACTIONS ‘YOU NEED’ TO ACT OUT AS FALSE INSTINCTS will keep you STUCK AS A CHILD FOREVER – YOU MUST FORCE YOUR BETTER MOOD ON YOURSELF, otherwise you are just a child slave, forever digging at the same coal-face and GOING NOWHERE BUT DOWN.
• All PETTY moods of Inferiority come, in some temporary fleeting way, by making you feel smaller than REALITY AS A FORM OF TENSION, but all GRAND, LASTING moods come from feeling BIGGER THAN REALITY AS A FORM OF POWER, as they cut reality down to size, and make you see things as they are. Then YOU WON’T ‘HAVE TO CARE’ ABOUT EVERYTHING AS IT NO LONGER TRIGGERS YOUR PATTERNS OF FEAR, which is what ‘CARING’ REALLY IS. Caring about everything is A BAD THING for you, AS CARING CONTROLS YOU with FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM, so you ONLY HAVE CONTROL WHEN YOU DON’T LET ‘YOUR CARES’ CONTROL YOU – YOU MUST BECOME CALLOUS, RUTHLESS and NOT CARE IN ORDER TO RELAX YOUR TENSION OF INFERIORITY.
• Inferiorities principal CON is ‘The Law of unintended consequences’, which MEANS YOU HAVE NO IDEA what THE REAL POINT OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS, until later when you see the consequences, WHICH YOU THEN BLANK OUT AS ACCIDENTAL, even though YOU HAVE CLEARLY DONE THAT TO YOURSELF. Nothing is an end in itself, everything is connected, either to EVOLVE YOU WHEN DONE CONSCIOUSLY, or to DE-VOLVE you, WEAKEN YOU when done ‘unconsciously on purpose’. This IS WHAT MOST VICES ARE, the habit of SELF-DESTRUCTION SOLD TO YOU AS INSTANT PLEASURE TO ‘HIDE THE POINT OF IT’ – YOU MUST SEE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS AS A PART OF THAT ACTION, ITS FUTURE EFFECT IS ‘HAPPENING NOW’, BY ‘REMEMBERING YOUR HISTORY’, so you don’t blank it out or separate from the more immediate effect WHICH DOES NOT MATTER, as its is just a glamour.
• The ‘INFERIORITY PROCESS’ HAS A POINT, A GOAL IN RELEASING THE TENSION THAT IT CREATES AS ‘A DISTRACTION’, so you must understand the most FUN THINGS are often directly related to A DISTRACTION OF WHAT ELSE IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING, as until you get this YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO HAVE FUN WITHOUT IT BEING SELF-HARM ‘LATER’, because it is intended to STOP YOU DOING SOMETHING ELSE, AND/OR MAKE YOU EVEN WEAKER, DUMBER, SLOWER, MORE FEARFUL. Nothing is JUST fun, there is an unconscious point, SO YOU MUST SEE THIS, SEE WHAT HAPPENS ‘AFTERWARDS’ as directly related, however abstract or just ‘unlucky’ it appears to you – NOTHING IS AN END IN ITSELF, EVER, IT ALWAYS HAS A ‘KNOCK ON EFFECT’. So Pleasure, excitement must be used CONSCIOUSLY TO EVOLVE YOU TO A GOAL, as nature intended, NOT AS AN ‘END INSELF’, because that is a EGOIC TRICK – THERE IS ALWAYS A POINT IN POINTLESS PLEASURE, you just choose not to see it, BECAUSE YOUR EGOIC CHILD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SEE IT…
• Urgency is Inferiority, trivial things are not urgent
• Delusional can work for you, by reinvention, Role is back story
• Superiority is Not Caring whilst being amused, it is not Callous to not care, it is normal.
• However big a lost soul you are, you will be effected by the emotional, and particularly sexual ‘Intention’ of others toward, mainly unconsciously in terms of your mood shifting line with those intentions, how you feel good or bad in the moment, as that is where the curse of ‘People Pleasing’ comes from, so YOU MUST ISOLATE YOURSELF FROM THE CREEPY FREAKS THAT SURROUNDS YOU, as its RUBS OFF, CONTROLS YOU, or more correctly ‘INFECTS YOU’ – CHANGE MEANS CHANGE WHO IS IN YOUR LIFE.

TOB Jan/2025.

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Now, I NEVER intended to write this POST as a SECRET, because what it contains is SIMPLY about GROWING UP, however….

…….IT APPEARS MOST OF YOU NEED HELP WITH THAT, AS THE CONCEPT HAS BEEN QUIETLY REMOVED FROM ‘YOUR SOCIETY’, so you DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS for ‘YOU’, WHAT A ‘CHILDISH MINDSET’ CAN DO TO YOUR WHOLE LIFE – YOU DON’T KNOW HOW BLOODY DANGEROUS ‘IT’ IS, AND SO THE IMPORTANCE OF REPLACING ‘IT’ WITH A ‘DOMINATE SENSE OF SELF’, that overrides ‘everything else’, TO BE ‘MATURE’.

But the real issue with NEVER GROWING UP is that ‘YOU’ THINK ‘YOU’ HAVE MADE A SUCCESS OF IT, OF BEING A BIG KID, BECAUSE ‘IT’ TELLS YOU THAT, IT MAKES ANYTHING ELSE SEEM ‘BAD’, so TODAY WE HAVE TO ‘BREAK THAT ILLUSION’ in YOU, by showing you what a BIG KID ‘IS’, before WE get you to TAKE A HAMMER TO ‘IT’ – TO SMASH ALL YOUR DELLUSIONS TO PIECES. See, to think like a child as an adult is AN INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS THING FOR GIFTED, because YOU ARE ‘WEAK MINDED’, FECKLESS, CHANGEABLE, and therefore can NEVER DEVELOP YOURSELF, unless YOU ARE FORCED TOO.

So here is the reason YOU need to take this serious, RIGHT NOW: YOU HAVE AN UNCONSCIOUS ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ THAT CONTROLS YOU, AS YOU HAVE NEVER GOT RID OF THE NATURAL ONE THAT A CHILD HAS TO SPUR ITS NEED TO ‘LEARN FAST’ AS AN INFANT – A CHILDISH MINDSET IS A ‘FAKE CHARACTER’ A BIOLOGICAL IMPLANT THAT IS ACTUALLY IN YOUR DNA, A NECCESSARY ‘HOLDING ACTION’ OF AN UNCONSCIOUS, AUTOMATIC ‘SET OF CHARACTER PATTERNS’ AS A ‘MINDSET’, AT LEAST UNTIL YOU DEVELOP A REAL CHARACTER, CONSCIOUSLY, AND SURPASS THESE ‘TRAINING WHEELS’.

THIS MINDSET IS ‘A MACHINE’ NOT A RATIONALE CHARACTER, AN OVERARCHING MECHANISM DESIGNED TO USE INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS TO ‘LEARN BY COPYING’ AND ‘KEEP YOU ALIVE’ IN ‘THE MOMENT’, UNTIL YOU HAVE LEARNT TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE. IT IS PART OF YOUR BIOLOGY, PART OF THE PROCESS OF GROWING UP, AND ONLY WORKS IN ‘THE NOW’, AUTOMATICALLY, IT DOES NOT THINK – IT IS A GROUP OF MASTER PATTERNS DESIGNED TO ‘LEARN FROM LOCAL REALITY’ AND GENERATE PRACTICAL ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’ AS REACTIONS TO THAT REALITY TO ‘HELP YOU’ NEXT TIME ‘SHIT HAPPENS’.

What that means as a ‘CHILDISH’ ADULT, A ‘BIG KID’, IS THIS – YOU ARE ‘CURSED’ WITH AN UNCONSCIOUS SET OF SIMPLE CHARACTER PATTERNS THAT OVER POWER EVERTHING ELSE, THAT CONTROL YOU VIA A SET OF ‘OUT OF DATE’ ‘FALSE INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS’ YOU THINK ARE A NATURAL, AUTHENTIC CHARACTER, BUT OF WHICH YOU ARE ALMOST TOTALLY UNAWARE OF MOMENT TO MOMENT. YOU DON’T KNOW WHY ‘YOUR NO-CHARACTER’ DOES STUFF, YOU JUST ‘JUSTIFY WHAT IT DOES’ AFTERWARD AS YOU DON’T SEE ITS CHILDISH, SELF DESTRUCTIVE MOTIVES FOR WHAT IT MAKES YOU DO AS AN URGENT, ‘UNCONSCIOUS’ REACTION, IN ‘THE MOMENT’ OF ITS ‘NEED TO DEFEND ITSELF’, BEFORE DISAPPEARING TO THE ‘BACK OF YOUR MIND’ AGAIN.

SEE – THERE IS ‘NO CHARACTER’, THE MIND STATE OF A CHILD IS NOT CAPABLE OF ‘RATIONALE CHARACTER AS THOUGHT’, IT JUST ‘REACTS’, so make no mistake, IT’S ‘A CURSE ON YOU’, on your WHOLE LIFE, and it WILL NEVER GO AWAY BY ITSELF…  

THE MINDSET OF A CHILD IS CONCERNED WITH ONE THING ONLY = ANXIETY.

IT IS CONTROLLED BY ANXIETY, FEAR BECAUSE IT ‘HAS TO BE’, IT HAS NO OTHER ‘FACULTIES’.

SO THE ‘URGENT PANG’ OF ‘FLEETING ANXIETY’ OVERPOWERS ‘IT’ WITH EMOTIONALLY WEIGHTED ‘INSTINCTS’ IN ‘THE MOMENT’.

ITS ONLY ‘UNCONSCIOUS’ ‘GOAL IN LIFE’ IS ‘EMOTIONAL COMFORT’, REACTIONARY ‘EGO SAFETY’ =  DISTRACTION FROM ANXIETY.

BUT THE REACTIONS OF ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOU’ ARE NO LONGER YOU, ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ IS YOU – ‘YOU’ WILL ‘CONSCIOUS DECISIONS’.

YET CONSCIOUS YOU IDENTIFIES WITH YOUR IMPLANTED ‘INSTINCTIVE THOUGHTS/FEELINGS’ AS ‘A REAL SELF’, ‘WHO KNOWS’.

BUT UNCONSCIOUS YOU IS JUST A ROLE MADE OF RIGID PATTERNS OF REACTION LEARNT AS A CHILD BY CHANCE = NOT YOU.

SADLY EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW THIS, CONSCIOUS YOU IS ‘TOO WEAK’ TO OVERPOWER UNCONSCIOUS YOU, SO YOU JUST ‘ACCEPT IT’.

SEE YOU HAVE UNKNOWINGLY ‘SIDED’ WITH ‘YOUR ENEMY’ OF PUBLIC WEAKNESS, THE COMFORT OF A CHILD, YOU HAVE FAILED TO GROW UP AND FACE IT ‘DOWN’, SO YOU JUST GET WEAKER, EVERY TIME YOU FAIL TO DO SO:

SO NOW EVERY PUBLIC HUMILIATION IS COMFORTED VIA THE PRIVATE, ‘SECRET CLEVERNESS’ OF A KID, AS A WAY OF LIFE…

SEE THE REASON YOU ARE SO DESPERATE, SO OBSESSED, SO STRUNG OUT ALL THE TIME IS YOU ARE ‘NOTHING IN YOURSELF’.

AND YOU KNOW IT, SOMETIMES YOU EVEN HATE IT, BUT YOU CAN’T FACE IT, CAN YOU – ITS ‘ALL YOU KNOW’ ANYMORE…

SO BEST KNOW THIS IS THE REASON WHY PEOPLE LIKE ME ‘PITY YOU’, YET DO NOTHING TO HELP YOU…

SEE WE CAN’T HELP A SCARED ‘DELUSIONAL CHILD’, IT JUST RUNS AWAY – ONLY CONSCIOUS ‘YOU’ CAN FACE ‘IT’…

NOW…. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN EXPLAINING THE ‘BIOLOGICAL PROCESS OF GROWING UP’ TO YOU – OF HOW YOUR PREFRONTAL CORTEX LEARNS TO OVERCOME THE PREPROGRAMMED REACTIONS OF THE AMYGDALA IN YOUR BRAIN VIA DISCOMFORT, SO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ‘FEEL THE FEAR’ AND DO IT ANYWAY SO YOU BECOME CONFIDENT ‘AFTERWARD’, AS AN ‘EMOTIONAL RUSH’ IN SET STAGES, WHICH BUILD ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ AS LAYERS OF ACTUAL CHARACTER. YOUR SOCIETY DECIDED THAT WAS NOT REQUIRED ANYMORE, SO ITS KINDA OF SAD THAT YOUR BIOLOGY DOES NOT GIVE THE SMALLEST FUCK WHAT YOUR SOCIETY THINKS AN ANIMAL SHOULD ‘BE’ – YOUR BIOLOGY STILL OWNS YOU…

SEE THERE IS NO POINT – YOU DID NOT DO ANY OF THAT AS A CHILD SO ‘YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE’, YOU CANNOT GO BACK AND USE THESE SIMPLE MECHANISMS TO DEFEAT THE NOW MUCH MORE POWERFUL MECHANISM OF ‘YOU THE CHILDISH FUCK UP’. SO YOU THINK PETTY FUN IS AN END IN ITSELF, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT PETTY FUN IS A LEARNING MECHANISM FOR CHILDREN TO HELP THEM GET PAST THEIR FEAR OF PAIN, SUDDEN DEATH AND SIMULATE DIFFICULT ENVIRONMENTS UNTIL YOU DEVELOP THE SKILLS TO WIN BY REPEATING LEARNING SCENARIOS AS ENDLESS GAMES, BECAUSE THEY ARE FUN. NO, LITTLE YOU USES FUN TO PERVERT ITSELF INTO NOTHINGNESS, PLAYING DEAD END, POINTLESS GAMES THAT TEACH TWATTY LITTLE YOU TO FANTASIZE ABOUT EVERYTHING LIKE A FUCKING DORK = YOU LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD MADE OF ‘GAMES’/’MOVIES’/’PORN’/’DRUGS’, WITH NO CONNECTION OR NEED TO MAKE ANY OF THAT ‘REAL’ = YOU LITERALLY TEACH YOURSELF TO BE A TOTAL DORK.

SEE ALL OF MY GENIUS IN REACHING YOU WITH THESE TRUTHS WOULD BE WASTED – YOU ARE A CHILD, SO YOU KNOW NOTHING ‘REAL’, EVERYTHING IS INSUBSTANTIAL, BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE INSUBSTANTIAL’. SO EXPLAINING THE BIOLOGICAL NEED FOR A ‘RANK OF ACHIEVEMENT’ IS POINTLESS – YOU THINK RANK IS MONEY AND CELEBRITY. IF I TRIED TO EXPLAIN YOUR EXPEREINCE OF TIME IS YOUR GREATEST ALLY YOU WOULD THINK I AM MAD – A CHILD IS SO WEAK IT JUST EXPEREINCES TIME AS A CONSTANT SEQUENCE OF MOMENTS THAT CONSTANTLY OVERWHELM ONE ANOTHER IN A CYCLE, SO YOU CONSTANTLY ‘FORGET’ EVERYTHING, YOU CANNOT FOCUS ON ANYTHING, SO TIME IS YOUR GREATEST ENEMY, AS A CHILD. AND IF I DARED POINT OUT YOUR LACK OF GOALS, YOUR LACK OF POINT, YOUR FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND ‘THE ESSENTIAL NATURE’ OF A ‘Cursus Honorum’ (Sorry, Lucius Cornelius Sulla, the greatest of all Roman Dictators), OF THE NEED FOR YOUR VERY OWN ‘PATH OF HONOR’ IN THIS WORLD, THEN YOU CALL ME A ‘FASCISTI’, A BAD MAN, STUCK IN SOME ARISTOCRATIC PAST, TOTALLY REDUNDANT NOW ‘WE ARE ALL EQUAL’.

YET I AM ONLY POINTING OUT TO YOU HOW YOUR BIOLOGY WORKS, AND THEREFORE WHAT YOU NEED TO REMEMBER YOUR ANCESTORS PERFECTED, LONG AGO… SEE, AND WORST OF ALL, IF I EXPLAININED WHAT BIOLOGICAL ANXIETY IS ACTUALLY FOR, THE TREMENDOUS BENEFIT OF FACING IT, USING IT, CONTROLLING IT, THEN YOU WOULD THINK I WAS A MASOCHIST, SOME FRUIT LOOP HOLY MAN TELLING YOU TO SUFFER FOR GOD, WITH YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION OF A ‘HAIR SHIRT’. YOUR FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND ANXIETY AND SO YOUR BURNING DESIRE TO AVOID IT IS REALLY WHAT KEEPS YOU STUCK AS A CHILD, WHAT MAKES YOU PATHETIC, HARMLESS, AND SO WEAK THAT YOU ARE PROBABLY EVEN MORE STUPID NOW THAT YOU WERE AT 16 YEARS OLD, LET ALONE WHAT IT HAS DONE TO YOUR ENERGY LEVELS. SEE ALL OF THESE THINGS MEAN THE HIGH POINT OF YOUR LIFE HAS LONG SINCE PASSED, THE HIGH POINT OF A CHILD, AND NOW ITS ALL, AND QUITE STEEPLY, ‘DOWN HILL’ – YOU LIVE IN A MEMORY OF CHILDHOOD, CONSTANTLY TRYING TO REHASH THOSE FEELINGS WHEN THEY HAVE LONG SINCE SERVED THEIR PURPOSE, AND CALLING IT ‘A LIFE’ = DELUSIONAL. 

SO TODAY WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHAT YOUR FAILURE TO GROW UP MEANS RIGHT NOW – WHAT NOT DOING WHAT YOU SHOULD OF DONE HAS DONE TO YOU, THE NOTHING OF YOU IT HAS CREATED – YOU HAVE TO ‘REALIZE’ WHAT ‘YOU’ ARE ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY’, AND THEN MAKE A PROJECT OF CHANGING IT CONSCIOUSLY. THIS CHANGE FROM ‘BEING’ ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOU THE CHILD’ TO BEING ‘A CONSCIOUS YOU’ IS THE PROCESS OF GROWING UP – ‘YOU’ OVERPOWER ‘IT’.

SADLY THERE IS NOW A LOT OF MORE OF IT THAN THERE WAS AS A KID, AND EVEN WORSE YOU THINK THAT GUTLESS LITTLE BITCH IS ‘YOU’ – YOU INDENTIFY WITH YOUR UNCONSCIOUS LITTLE KID AS YOU, FOR REASONS BEST KNOWN TO YOURSELF, AS YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE THEM, DO YOU, BUT I GUESS YOU JUST ARE THAT DUMB, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ‘BECOME THAT WEAK’…

SEE YOU ARE WAY, WAY, W.A.Y. TOO MOTHERFUCKING WEAK NOW, ‘YOU’ DO WHATEVER IT TELLS YOU, UNLESS YOU ARE EVEN MORE SCARED OF YOUR EXTERNAL REALITY THAN OF YOUR REACTIONS IN THE MOMENT – YOUR ‘WILL’ HAS BEEN ‘BROKEN BY ‘SUFFERING ANXIETY’, WHICH YOU NOW ACCEPT AS NORMAL BECAUSE WITHOUT ‘THE CONSTANT ‘CONFIDENT USE OF WILLPOWER’ YOU JUST GET WEAKER AND WEAKER, SO THERE IS ‘NO YOU’, JUST ‘IT’, WHEN YOU ARE ‘EMOTIONAL’…

‘IT’ KEEPS YOU ‘TRAPPED IN A TRAIN OF THOUGHT’ THAT MAKES YOU ‘COPE VIA COMFORT’ WHILST ACTUALLY PRODUCING MORE ANXIETY, OFTEN VIA THE FEELING OF PETTY DESIRE WHICH IS SIMPLY A REPACKAGED VERSION OF THAT SAME FELT WEAKNESS OF ANXIETY. BUT TO YOU IT LOOKS LIKE ‘RELIEF FROM ANXIETY’, A FELT, FLEETING ‘THRILL’, WHICH IS JUST TO ‘BOUNCE BACK’ FROM A STRONGLY FELT ANXIETY IN THE MOMENT, TO ‘RELEASE THE TENSION OF YOUR GO-TO DESIRE’, THAT YOU THE CHILD HAS ACTUALLY CREATED FOR THIS SPECIFIC PURPOSE. BUT THAT DESIRE ‘FOR SOMETHING’ DOES NOT EXIST – IT IS EMPTY – ITS JUST THE PROJECTION OF THE NEED FOR ‘MOMENTARY ANXIETY RELIEF’ IN GENERAL, ONTO THE RANDOM EVENTS OF THE MOMENT.

BUT YOU ‘CHASE IT’, AND SO CHASE ‘MORE WEAKNESS’ OF GIVING INTO FELT ANXIETY – YOUR ENTIRE STRATERGY FOR LIFE IS TO DISTRACT YOURSELF FROM YOUR HATED, ANXIOUS REALITY RATHER THAN FIX IT, SO YOU ‘DELUDE YOURSELF’ THAT YOU ‘FEEL BETTER VIA DESIRE’, WHILST ACTUALLY MAKING EVERYTHING MUCH WORSE = MAKING YOU ‘MUCH WEAKER’ = MORE ANXIOUS. THE ‘MECHANISM’ OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS TO CONTINUALLY ‘SEEK COMFORT’ IN EVENTS, TO ‘FETISHSIZE’ REALITY BY CREATING A FANTASY ABOUT IT, TAKING ‘ANY OPPORTUNTTY’ TO FEEL ‘MOMENTARY RELIEF FROM ANXIEY’. AND YOU DON’T EVEN CARE THAT ITS FAKE, THAT YOU KNOW THE DESIRE WILL EVAPORATE THE MOMENT YOU ‘FEED IT’ – YOU NEED IT TO ‘COPE’ SO YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE LOOKING FOR ‘LITTLE WINS’, SECRET CLEVERNESS.

THE BEST WAY TO THINK ABOUT IT IS AS A SET OF DOMINANT PATTERNS WORKING LIKE AN OLD ENGINE THAT PUMPS FUEL INTO ITSELF, PRODUCING ‘A TRAIN OF THOUGHT’, PULSING ALONG FOR EVERY NEW CONSCIOUS MOMENT THAT REFRESHES YOUR AWARENESS WITH A ‘NEW’ THOUGHT IN THE SAME PRE-SET SEQEUNCE, AS IT GOES THROUGH THE SAME PRE-SET CYCLE. THERE IS NO INTELLIGENCE, NO RATIONALE THINKING, IT JUST DOES THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER, CREATING FELT ANXIETY FOR THE SAKE OF CREATING FELT RELIEF FROM THAT SAME ANXIETY, WHICH CREATES MORE ANXIETY AND SO ON IN A CYCLE, WHILE SLOWLY WEARING ITSELF OUT. IT IS POINTLESS – ITS ONLY GOAL IS MORE COMFORT, WHICH ONLY EXIST AGAINST MORE ANXIETY – YOU MIND HAS TURNED IN ON ITSELF, WHILE CONSCIOUS YOU WATCHES ON, WITH NO CLUE WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT, SO ACCEPTS IT, AND LETS THAT ENGINE SPIN FASTER AND FASTER BY FEEDING IT MORE ANXIETY IN ORDER TO GENERATE MORE PETTY ‘DESIRE FOR SOMETHING’ THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY WANT, LITERALLY THE MOMENT YOU GET IT.

SEE THIS SIMPLE CHILDISH MECHANISM OF MIND HAS BECOME THE POINT OF YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER ‘BEEN FORCED’ TO ‘SURPASS IT’, ‘TO IGNORE IT’ FOR A GREATER GOOD OR BIGGER FEAR, TO RISE ABOVE IT. SO YOUR INSTINCTIVE ‘TRAIN OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS’ HAVE A MASSIVE LEVEL OF MOMENTUM CONTROLLED BY THE CONTINUAL REPETITION OF THIS SIMPLE MECHANSIM, THEY SPIN FASTER AND FASTER – WHATEVER YOU TRY AND THINK CONSCIOUSLY IS OVERPOWERED BY THEM IN THE MOMENT BY THE NEED FOR RELIEF. YOU HAVE ALLOWED IT TO FEED ITSELF, GET BIGGER AND MORE POWERFUL BY TAKING ALL YOUR ENERGY, YOUR FOCUS UNCONSCIOUSLY, INSTEAD OF KEEPING THAT ENERGY FOR CONSCIOUS YOU ‘TO CONTROL’. NOW YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS, DO YOU, SO YOUR THOUGHTS SEEK TO PROTECT THEMSELVES – YOU NEVER DOUBT YOUR THOUGHTS AS VALID AT ALL, YOU CANNOT LAUGH AT THEM AS INSIGNIFICANT, YOU HAVE TO THINK THEM…

BUT MUCH AS YOU CANNOT STICK YOUR HANDS INTO THAT MACHINE AND STOP IT SPINNING MANUALLY, AND I’M NOT GOING TO USE FORCED SHOCKS TO SMASH THAT MACHINE TO PIECES WHILE YOU SCREAM IN PAIN, YOU STILL HAVE A CHOICE TODAY. SEE YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THAT MACHINE OVERHEATS BEFORE EVENTUALLY ‘BLOWING UP’, I CAN SHOW YOU THE CONTROLS OF THAT MACHINE, AND THEN YOU CAN DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO USE THEM – YOU MUST DECIDE TO COMMIT TO THIS PROCESS, EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO DO IT. SEE I CAN LEND YOU THE STRENGTH AND THE KNOWLEDGE YOU NEED, BUT YOU MUST BE STRONG ENOUGH TO AT LEAST MAKE A DECISION OUT OF YOUR REMAINING WILL = FEAR OF (SOMETHING)…

SO MY JOB TODAY IS TO GET YOU TO MAKE THAT CHOICE ‘EARLY’ – TO WANT TO STOP BEFORE YOU FEEL ‘YOU NEED TO’, BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND, IN A REASONED, ABSTRACT WAY IF YOU WAIT UNTIL YOUR ENERGY, YOUR WEAKNESS HAS OVERHWELMED YOU WITH ‘EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS’, THEN YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO STOP, AND THERE WILL BE LITTLE POINT IN US HELPING YOU TO STOP, AS THERE IS NOTHING LEFT WORTH HELPING. INDEED TO HELP MANY PEOPLE AT THE END, WHEN THEIR BIOLOGICAL RANK HAS DECLINE BENEATH WHAT THEY HAD AS A CHILD, IS ACTUALLY CRUEL, YOU ARE BETTER OFF MENTALLY TO KEEP ON COPING THE BEST YOU CAN, AND THEN JUST DRIFT OFF INTO OBLIVION…

ALL this means I have to give you this LOGICALLY, SO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS BY RECOGNIZING HOW IT WORKS FOR YOU – TO SEE YOURSELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU. SO, VERY SIMPLY PUT, NOW YOU MUST SEE YOURSELF IN ‘THE ABSTRACT’ OF A TYPE, WHICH IS A GENERIC ROLE YOU HAVE PERSONALIZED VIA YOUR ENVIRONMENTAL INTERACTIONS OVER THE YEARS, THEN SEE WHAT IS ‘WRONG WITH THAT’. THEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE OF UNDERSTANDING THAT ‘I’ NEED TO IMPLANT A ‘SUPERIORITY COMPLEX’ IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND TO REPLACE THE ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ YOU HAVE NEVER BOTHERED GETTING RID OFF, AND SO NOW OWNS ‘YOU THE BIG KID’.

THIS IS MY PREFER WAY TO GROW GIFTED FOLKS UP WITHOUT SHOCKS, MUCH AS SOME OF YOU WOULD STILL NEED THOSE SHOCKS, AS YOUR MIND MAY ALREADY BE TOO FAR GONE, YOUR CHILDISH TRAIN OF AUTOMATIC THOUGHT MAY ALREADY BE TOO STRONG FOR YOU TO STOP, EVEN THOUGH YOUR RANK REMAINS, FOR NOW. SHOCKS HAVE TO BE DONE IN PERSON, SO IF YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU WILL NEED TO FIND ANOTHER WAY TO DO IT, SORRY. 

ALL OF THIS IS EASY WHEN ‘YOU SEE IT’, BUT SEEING IT IS HARD, BECAUSE YOU THE CHILD WILL STOP YOU SEEING IT, WITH ALL ITS JUSTIFICATIONS, ALL ITS EXCUSES FOR CONTINUING ‘TO BE IT’. SO SADLY MANY OF YOU WILL FAIL TO EVEN START THIS PROCESS, AS YOU HAVE FAILED TO GROW UP SO MANY TIMES BEFORE, AND MUST WAIT FOR THE MOMENT OF YOUR DEATH BEFORE ‘YOU SNAP OUT OF IT’ – GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 

SO HERE WE GO —

AN UNCONCIOUS CHILD PRODUCES ‘CONSTANT WEAKNESS’ AND THEN ‘COPES VIA DISTRACTION’ = ‘YOU GET WEAKER’.

‘WEAKNESS’ DOES NOT ‘WORK’, IT DOES NOT ‘FIX ANXIETY’, ITS ‘DISTRACTS YOU’ FROM ANXIETY WITH FANTASY = COPING.

BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO FIX ANXIETY, YOU NEED TO ACCEPT IT SO YOU CAN SURPASS IT BY BECOMING ‘SUPERIOR TO IT’.

SEE IF YOU DON’T GROW UP ALL YOU EVER DO IN THIS LIFE IS ‘COMFORT YOURSELF’ FOR BEING A SCARED KID – ‘TO COPE WITH IT’.

ALL COPING TACTICS ARE ‘DISTRACTIONS’, A REJECTION OF FELT ANXIETY, WHICH BUILDS THE FEELING OF ANXIETY = SUICIDE.

THINK ABOUT WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN ABOVE FOR A SECOND, TRY AND SEE THE MADDNESS IN IT, THE FAILURE, THE HUMILIATION – TO BE A DELUDED SLAVE BECAUSE YOU HAVE LEARNT TO DISTRACT YOURSELF FROM THE ANXIETY OF LIFE WITH THE ANXIETY OF PETTY DESIRE. SEE EVERY CHOICE A KID MAKES IS BASED ON THE NEED TO FEEL ‘A BIT BETTER’, TO ‘FEEL CLEVER’, BY LESSENING THEIR ANXIETY IN THE MOMENT, LIKE A FRIGHTENED CHILD – IT USUALLY FEELS WEAK, STUPID, ANXIOUS, ITS MOODS ARE FRAGILE, ITS CENTRE OF MENTAL GRAVITY IS ‘DOOMSDAYING’. ITS ALL ANXIETY, THE MINDSET OF KID DOMINATES YOU STILL – YOU USE THE ANXIETY OF PETTY DESIRE TO DISTRACT FROM YOUR ANXIETY OF EXISTENTIAL DREAD = MORE ANXIETY…

SO ANY CLEVERNESS, ANY SECRET, ANY COMFORT AT ALL, HOWEVER BANAL, TRIVIAL AND FAKE, WORKS LIKE A DRUG HIT, A PAINKILLER – IT GIVES YOU MOMENTARY RELIEF WHILST STRENTHENING THE NEED TO TAKE THE DRUG AGAIN, AS THAT DRUG INCREASES YOU BACKGROUND ANXIETY ‘ON PURPOSE’. SEE THAT NEED FOR A ‘BETTER MOMENTARY FEELING’ IS ‘EGOIC SUFFERING’, EVEN THOUGH THAT PETTY SUFFERING IS FELT AS THE ‘DESIRE FOR QUICK COMFORT’, ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ STILL HAS TO GIVE IN AND COMFORT IT IN ORDER TO ‘COPE’ WITH THAT FEELING – THE REACTION IS AUTOMATIC.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO GET THIS NOW – HOWEVER MUCH FUN YOUR ‘ANTICIPATION OF RELIEF’ FEELS TO YOU IN THE MOMENT, WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY FEELING IS ‘SUFFERING’, TENSION – YOUR KID IS GETTING YOU ‘TO PUT ON TIGHT SHOES FOR THE COMFORT OF TAKING THEM OFF’. THE ‘LESSENING OF SUFFERING’ IS STILL SUFFERING, IT IS NOT PLEASURE, IT IS NOT FUN, ITS NOT EXCITING, IT IS NOT COOL, IT IS NOT POWER, IT IS NOT CONTROL, IT IS NOT ANY-FUCKING-THING ACCEPT THE MOMENTARY ‘LESSENING OF YOUR FELT ANXIETIES’ – YOU CREATE ‘MORE WEAKNESS’ to feel ‘RELIEF FROM WEAKNESS’ = SELF DESTRUCTIVE MADDNESS.

BUT YOU DON’T THINK THAT, DO YOU, YOU ARE BLINDED BY YOUR ‘TRAIN OF THOUGHTS’, YOU ARE STUPID, SO I’LL NEED TO BE VERY CLEAR:

THE ONLY REASON YOU DON’T SEE THIS IN THE MOMENT IS THAT YOU DON’T EXPERIENCE YOUR THOUGHTS PRIOR TO YOUR REACTIONS TO THOSE THOUGHTS, YOU THINK ‘YOUR REACTIONS ARE YOUR THOUGHTS’, BUT THEY ARE ‘SANITIZED’ ANTICIPATIONS OF COMFORT – ‘JUSTIFICATIONS’.

ALL YOUR JUSTIFICATIONS ARE 2ND HAND, ‘AFTER THE FACT’, YOUR ACTUAL THOUGHTS, ‘WHO YOU ARE’ IN THAT MOMENT, IS ACTUALLY ‘WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO COMFORT’ – YOU DON’T KNOW YOURSELF AT ALL, YOUR CONSCIOUS CHARACTER IS THE COMFORTING PATTERN REACTIONS OF A KID.

THESE PATTERN TRIGGERS THAT ARE THE SOURCE OF YOUR CONSCIOUS REACTIONS ARE THE CONTROLS YOU NEED TO GRASP, SO YOU CAN REPLACE THE INFERIORITY OF YOUR CURRENT CHILDISH TRIGGERS WITH THE SUPERIORITY OF AN ADULTS TRIGGERS, THE TRIGGERS OF ‘BETTER THAN’ THEM.

SEE, IF YOU KNEW WHAT YOU ACTUALLY THINK PRIOR TO YOUR PATTERNS REACTIONS – YOUR ‘PATTERN TRIGGERS’ – YOU WOULD SEE THAT YOU THE CHILD IS A CRAVEN, WEAK, STUPID, TWATTY, NEEDY COMFORT SEEKING LITTLE FUCK UP, THEN YOU WILL WANT TO CHANGE IT.

BUT BECAUSE YOU DON’T SEE THAT, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ‘INTERNAL DIALOGUE’, NO SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE MOMENT TO BE ‘BEFORE REACTION’, YOU THINK YOU ARE GOOD, ‘JUSTIFIED’ IN YOUR PATTERNS, SIMPLY BY THE DELUSION OF MAKING THEM ‘APPEAR GOOD’ TO YOU. IF YOU KNEW THE TRUTH OF YOU AS THE ACTUAL ‘INFERIOR FEELING’ OF YOUR ‘TRIGGERS’ YOU WOULD ‘DOUBT YOURSELF’, DOUBT THE ‘VALIDITY OF YOUR REACTIONS’, NATURALLY, WILLINGLY, POWERFULLY, BECAUSE YOU WOULD HATE ‘THE DISHONOR’ OF YOU THE CHILD AS MUCH AS WE DO. 

IN ZEN THEY CALL THIS INNER DIALOGUE TO ‘SEE INTO YOUR TRUE NATURE’, WHICH BEGINS WITH ‘GROWING THE FUCK UP’ ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT ‘YOU DON’T KNOW’ THE MOMENT TO MOMENT CAUSES OF YOUR REACTIONS – YOU DON’T KNOW THE WHY OF WHAT YOU DO, THE ‘BAD FAITH’ OF IT.

BUT YOU CAN KNOW THAT ‘WHY’ – AS A KID YOU HAVE THE CHARACTER OF ‘NO CHARACTER’, TO UNCONSCIOUSLY ‘SEEK COMFORT’ AUTOMATICALLY, SO EVERYTHING YOU DO, THINK, FEEL EXISTS WITHIN THAT, AS YOUR ‘KID DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO ANYTHING ELSE’, AND YOUR KID IS ‘ALL YOU ARE’…

BUT IF YOU STOP AN AUTOMATIC REACTION YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED AS BAD FROM EXPEREINCE AND DO NOTHING, YOU WILL FIND THE ACTUAL PATTERN TRIGGER WILL ECHO IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS MUCH MORE STRONGLY, AND YOU WILL START TO FEEL ‘THE WHY’ OF YOUR REACTIONS – INFERIORITY.

THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHAT THE CLASSIC NEW AGE LINE ‘ALL PETTY DESIRE IS SUFFERING’ (Sorry, Buddha) MEANS – ALL YOUR PETTY DESIRE ACTUALLY IS SUFFERING AS A FEELING, WHICH YOU ARE TRYING TO LESSEN BY A VENTING REACTION, TO FEEL SLIGHTLY LESS ANXIOUS, ITS NOT ACTUALLY FUN…

ALL YOUR PETTY DESIRES COME FROM ‘THIS HIDDEN, FELT SUFFERING’ OF ‘YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX’, THAT IS WHY YOU DO IT – FELT INFERIORITY IS THE LONGTERM HANGOVER OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’, A SELF OBSSESSED NARCISSIST.

THE KEY IS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT PETTY MEANS – TRANSIENT, TEMPORARY – AS THAT MEANS ITS A CON, NOT A REAL DESIRE BUT A COMFORT, BECAUSE IT PASSESS THE MOMENT IT IS DONE, TO THE POINT YOU OFTEN FIND IT SICKENING IN RETROSPECT, YOU DON’T KNOW ‘WHAT CAME OVER YOU’…

THEN IT (SHOULD) BE SIMPLE TO SIMPLY REMIND YOURSELF OF THE COUNTLESS NUMBER OF TIMES YOU HAVE BEEN FOOLED INTO CHASING COMFORTS AS DESIRES, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THAT ‘THE FUN’ IS ALL IN ‘THE ANTICIPATION’ AND ‘THE HALO EFFECT’ OF ‘COMFORT=RELIEF’, AFTERWARDS.

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THIS SWITCH OF SIDES ‘IN THE NOW’ – YOU WANT A MOMENTARY ‘ILLUSION OF A FOCUSED DESIRE’, OF ‘SOME PARTICULAR THING’ NEARBY IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT, BUT YOU ARE ‘DELUDED’, IT IS SIMPLY A ‘COMFORTING MECHANISM’, NOT A REAL DESIRE FOR SOMETHING.

THIS REALIZATION ‘HAPPENS’ WHEN YOU SEE THROUGH THE DESIRE AS ‘EMPTY’ OF ANY PLEASURE OR FUN IN ITSELF, IT IS AN ‘UGLY’ PROCESS IN ITSELF – YOUR FUN IS SIMPLY THE ANTICIPATION AND THEN HALO EFFECT OF ‘RELIEF’ FROM THAT SAME ‘ANXIETY OF PETTY DESIRE’ WHICH ‘COMFORTS’ YOU.

YOU MUST GET THAT THE ‘FEELING OF THE PETTY DESIRE’ IS THE ‘FEELING OF ANXIETY’ ITSELF – YOU DON’T WANT THE OBJECT OF THE PETTY DESIRE, YOU SIMPLY WANT TO ‘VENT’ THE FEELING OF THAT DESIRE, AS THAT PETTY DESIRE IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE ‘TENSION’ IN YOU.

SO THE PETTY DESIRE IS ANXIETY IN ITSELF, BUT THE EXCITEMENT OF ANTICIPATION AND THE HALO GLOW OF RELIEF OF THAT DESIRE BLIND YOU TO THAT NORMALY BECAUSE THEY ‘OVERWHELM YOU FAST IN THE MOMENT’ – ITS ALL AN ILLUSION, A COMFORTING STORY YOU TELL YOURSELF.

SO THERE IS ‘NO FUN’, ‘NO DESIRE’, IT DOES NOT WORK AS ITS A COMFORT BASED ON SHADES, LEVELS OF ANXIETY, SO ITS ALL ANXIETY WHICH YOU ARE INCREASING BY CALLING IT A DESIRE – YOU ARE ACTUALLY CHASING MORE ANXIETY – PETTY DESIRES ARE MORE ANXIETY. BUT THE ISSUE IS THAT YOU ARE STILL ANXIOUS, AND HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DEAL WITH THAT ANXIETY ACCEPT THIS DRUG LIKE MECHANSIM, AS YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, AND THEREFORE STILL ‘NEED SOMETHING TO COPE’, SO YOU HAVE TO REPLACE THIS TYPE OF COMFORT WITH A BETTER ONE…

SEE YOU’RE HABITUATED TO THE DRUG-MECHANSIM ITSELF, TO FEELING BAD ‘IN ORDER’ TO FEEL GOOD LATER, SO TO CHANGE, TO GROW UP AS A BIG KID YOU NEED A NEW DRUG = A NEW TYPE OF COMFORT – THE COMFORT OF ‘SUPERIORITY’.

SEE YOU THE KID COMFORTS ITSELF VIA INFERIORITY, OF PETTY DESIRE VS PETTY ANXIETY WHICH CREATES WEAKNESS, WHILST COMFORTING YOURSELF VIA SUPERIORITY CREATES STRENGTH, ENERGY = THE ABILITY TO CHANGE.

SO BE VERY CLEAR – COMFORTING YOURSELF THROUGH PETTY DESIRE IS A FORM OF INSANTITY, TO LIVE IN A DELUSION OF ‘SELF’ AND ‘OTHER’, AND IT JUST GETS WORSE – YOU ARE ‘ALL OTHER’, THERE IS NO SELF, AS YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN UP ENOUGH TO HAVE ONE, YOU ARE A COLLECTION OF ‘TIMES TABLES’ YOU MEMORISIZED AS A KID, EVERYTHING YOU ARE IS ‘OTHER THAN YOU’, IT IS ‘MEMORY’ OF THE TRIAL AND ERROR OF GROWING UP, OF ‘OWNING WHAT YOU ARE TOLD’, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHY YOU NEED TO DO THIS SHIT…

BUT YOU MUST ‘SEE THIS CHILD’ IN YOURSELF, YOU MUST FEEL IT… 

RIGHT NOW, SITTING READING THIS YOUR ENTIRE ‘CHARACTER’ IS BASED ON THE FANTASY WORLD YOU INVENTED IN ORDER TO COPE AS A KID, EVERYTHING BEHIND THAT IS INVISIBLE TO YOU, SO YOU ARE ‘SELF DESTRUCTIVE’ = YOU HAVE ‘NO SELF’.

IT IS HARD I KNOW, BUT TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO SEE THAT ALL YOUR JUSTIFICATIONS FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU DO ARE DESIGNED TO SANITIZE, COVER UP WHY YOU ACTUALLY DO IT = THEY ARE FAKE DELUSIONS = SO YOU ARE A FAKE TWAT.

AND ITS NOT EVEN YOUR FAULT – YOU ARE A ‘DOMESTICATED ANIMAL’, YOU ARE WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BE…

BUT THE WHOLE TRICK TO GROWING UP IS NOT JUST TO KNOW THIS IN RETROSPECT CAUSE SOME CLEVER BASTARD LIKE ME KNOWS HOW TO ‘REACH YOU’, THE TRICK IS TO SEE IT AS IT HAPPENS IN YOU, AS YOU ARE TRIGGERED, IN THE MOMENT…

BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’ OTHER PEOPLE FEELS LIKE, AS YOU WILL ALSO SEE THE OBVIOUS LITTLE KID IN THEM, MOMENT TO MOMENT – YOU WILL KNOW WHAT THE ‘SUPERIORITY’ OF A GROWN UP FEELS LIKE.

AND YOU WILL NEVER GO BACK TO BEING A KID, AS THEN YOU WILL START TO UNDERSTAND THE ‘POWER’ OF ELITISM ‘TO SAVE YOU FROM YOUR-NO-SELF’ – YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ‘THE POWER OF KNOWING YOURSELF’, THE ONLY REAL COMFORT THERE IS.

BUT YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOUR SELF, YOUR TRIGGERS, DEVALUE THEM, WHEN YOU CAN SEE THEM IN REAL TIME, AS YOU WATCH THE TAIL OF SOME LITTLE EMOTIONAL PANG FLASH ACROSS YOUR MIND BEFORE YOUR REACTION ‘COMFORTS IT’, REMOVING IT…. 

YES, BE CLEAR – AS A CHILD THIS SIMPLE ‘MECHANSIM OF COPING’ MAKES UP YOUR WHOLE MISEARABLE EXISTENCE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER ‘GROWN OUT OF IT’, YOU HAVE NEVER RISEN ABOVE IT, INDEED YOU THINK ITS A GOOD THING, BECAUSE YOU HAVE MADE IT WORK FOR YOU, YOU HAVE ‘FETISHIZED IT’ AS A DRUG. THAT DRUG BLINDS YOU TO THE REALITY OF YOUR NO SELF, YOU CAN ONLY SEE IT IN RETROSPECT, WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE BANAL, THOUGHTLESS PATTERNS OF WHAT YOU DO TO COPE, YOUR CLEVERNESS, WHEN YOU FINALLY SEE THROUGH YOUR ‘CLEVER JUSTIFICATIONS’…

AND ITS ALL TOTAL BOLLOCKS – ALL PETTY DESIRE IS CONTROLLED BY A ‘FELT LACK’ IN THE MOMENT, COVERED OVER WITH THE PROJECTED EXCITEMENT OF SIMPLE ‘RELIEF’, FELT AS ‘ANTICIPATION’ OF THAT SAME PETTY RELIEF – YOU ARE LOST IN ‘MOMENTARY ANXIETY’, CHASING PETTY DESIRES WHICH ARE THE EXACT SAME ‘FEELING OF LACK’, AS YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO, NO OTHER ‘POINT’ IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE TO OVERPOWER THIS POINTLESSNESS, THIS NOTHINGNESS OF YOUR LIFE – YOU HAVE NO SUBSTANTIAL, SOLID ‘SENSE OF SELF’.

SO YOU ‘SUFFER’ MORE AND MORE, THE MORE YOU CHASE THOSE DESIRES – YOU FEEL LESS AND LESS ‘SUBSTANTIAL’, AS THAT IS WHAT SUFFERING DOES, ITS BREAKS YOUR WILL, YOUR SENSE OF YOUR SELF, SO ALL YOU CAN DO IS ‘WAIT FOR YOUR REACTION’ TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. SEE, YOU THE CHILD IS SOOOOOOOOO HABITUATED TO THIS THAT 90% OF YOUR LIFE IS SPENT IN THIS ‘STATE OF MIND OF A CHILD’ – CONTINUALLY GENERATING THOUGHTS THAT SEEK ‘TO COPE’ BY THE EGOIC COMFORT OF PETTY DESIRE, CHASING RELIEF FROM YOUR STUPID LITTLE WANKER OF A SELF. 

BUT THERE IS NO DESIRE AS A FIXED GOAL, IT IS A TRANSIENT FEELING, ITS PASSESS, SO A CHILD SIMPLY SEEKS TO COPE BY THE ANTICIPATION OF ‘RELIEF IN THE MOMENT’ BY ‘VENTING’, THEN ITS GONE. SO THERE ACTUALLY IS NO SUFFERING, AT ALL, ITS FAKE, YOU THE CHILD INFLICTS THAT ‘LACK OF COMFORT’ ON CONSCIOUS YOU, SO YOU CONSTANTLY ‘NEED TO COMFORT IT’ – IT CONTROLS YOU VIA THE ANTICIPATION OF ‘FIXING’ A ‘FAKE LACK’. AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO TO CHANGE, IT ALWAYS CURVES YOU BACK, SLOWLY BUT SURELY, TO WHERE YOU STARTED = YOU ARE ‘NEEDY’ = YOU NEED COMFORT BECAUSE YOUR BACKGROUND MINDSTATE IS ONE OF THE ANXIETY.

YES, HOWEVER MUCH YOU HATE BEING ‘LOST’, YOU TEACH YOURSELF TO ACCEPT IT BECAUSE YOU ‘NEED THAT COMFORT’, THAT IS HOW YOU LEARN AS A KID. SEE THE PASSIVE MINDSET OF A KID IS USED TO ‘LEARN’ THROUGH ‘COPING’ WITH THE ‘ANXIETY OF FAILURE’, USUALLY BY ‘COPYING OTHERS’. SO THAT IS ALL YOU WILL EVER BE IF YOU DON’T GROW UP, A CHILDISH STEREOTYPE, WHO CREATES ANXIETY ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY ON PURPOSE’ IN ORDER TO EXIST AS A ‘FAKE CHARACTER’.

SEE A CHILDS WAY OF LIFE IS THE ‘PATH OF COPING’ WITH FAKE ANXIETY IN THE MOMENT, OVER AND OVER – YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE IS MOMENTARY.  SO TO BE SUPER CLEAR – THE TRICK TO UNDERSTANDING YOU THE CHILD IS TO UNDERSTAND THE CON OF ‘MOMENTARY NEEDS’:

AN ADULT DOESN’T HAVE TO COPE WITH ‘MOMENTARY ANXIETY’ – THEY ‘IGNORE’ THOSE MOMENTARY HAPPENINGS AS ‘TRIVIAL’ BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND THEY ARE A FAKE ‘CHILDISH ROLE’ THEY HAVE GROWN OUT OF.

BUT YOU DON’T DO YOU – YOU ARE ‘TRIVIAL’, PETTY, MOMENTARY = LOST IN A DAZE OF YOU OWN CONFUSION, AS ‘NORMAL’ – THE ONLY THING YOU ARE MOMENT TO MOMENT IS THE ROLE YOU ADOPTED IN CHILDHOOD – ‘TO COPE WITH THE MOMENT’.

YOU DON’T SEE ITS ALL AN ILLUSION – YOU THE CHILD IS TRAPPED IN A MOMENTARY CONJOB, ‘DESIRING’ PETTY RELIEF FROM ‘ITSELF’, BECAUSE YOUR ANXIETIES ARE SELF-INFLICTED EMOTIONS WHICH YOU COMFORT IN ORDER TO COPE.

SEE BEING A CHILD IS A CIRCULAR TRAP BECAUSE IT THE FUNDAMENTAL MECHANISM A CHILD USES TO DEAL WITH REALITY – YOU DO NOT SEE IT HAPPENING AT THE TIME UNLESS YOU GET VERY SCARED OF YOUR REALITY = YOURSELF.

TO GROW UP YOU HAVE TO REPLACE THAT MECHANISM, BY UNDERSTANDING IT AND THEN DEVALUING IT AS ‘TRIVIAL’, BECAUSE YOU THE CHILD CONTROLS THE BIG THINGS IN YOUR LIFE BY CONTROLLING ALL THE SMALL ONES FIRST – YOU ‘SPIRAL’.

SO YOU FIRST UNDERSTAND THAT ALL YOUR FALSE INSTINCTS ARE SIMPLY AN UNCONSCIOUS ROLE YOU LEARNT TO PLAY AS A CHILD, BEFORE YOU PUT A MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE, DESIREABLE ‘CHARACTER ROLE’ YOU CONSCIOUSLY WANT ‘AGAINST IT’.

THIS ANCHOR OF A BETTER ROLE IS WHAT CONSCIOUS YOU USES TO JUDGE THOSE UNCONSCIOUS URGES AGAINST BECAUSE YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD THAT THOSE URGES ARE ‘NOT YOU’, AND YOU NOW NEED BETTER ONES TO MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE.

BUT YOU MUST DO THE 2ND PART ‘HARD’, REINVENT YOURSELF, OTHWERWISE WHEN THE ROLE OF YOU THE CHILD STARTS TO CRASH INCREASINGLY BADLY IN YOUR 30S YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING SOLID TO PUT AGAINST IT, NO OTHER OPTION BUT FAILURE.

THIS OFTEN LEADS YOUNGER WOMEN TO GET STUCK IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF ‘NOT CONSCIOUSLY WANTING THE ONLY THING THEY UNCONSCIOUSLY WANT’, SO THEY SPIRAL INTO DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM.

SO TO GROW UP CONSCIOUSLY YOU MUST UNDERSTAND JUST HOW BLOODY FAKE YOU ALREADY ARE…

BUT THIS IS NOT FAKING IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT, AS YOU WILL ALSO NEED TO DISPOSE OF THIS NEW CHARACTER ROLE IN TIME TO FIND YOUR REAL SELF SPIRITUALITY, THIS CHANGE IS SO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT YOUR ROLES, SO YOU CAN CHANGE THEM. YOU MUST GET, RIGHT NOW, THAT YOUR CHARACTER OF A CHILD IS A LOAD OF TEMPORARY DOG SHIT YOU CAN CHANGE IF YOU WISH, MUCH AS YOU WILL NEED THE ENERGY TO DO THAT IN LATER LIFE, WHICH IS WHERE ‘YOUR BOTTLE’ COMES INTO IT, AS THAT ‘FELT’ SELF CONFIDENCE TO BE WHO YOU WISH IS ALSO REALLY IMPORTANT…

SEE, TO PLAY A ‘NEW’ ROLE CONSCIOUSLY TAKES ‘SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS’, WHAT YOU WOULD CALL ‘PRESENCE’, AND CONSCIOUSNESS IS A THING THAT HAS A QUANTITY, BECAUSE IT IS MADE OF ‘YOUR DISPOSAL ENERGY’ AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. SO LIKE MOST FOLKS, EVEN AFTER THEY FIGURE OUT THEY NEED TO CHANGE, YOU WILL ONLY TRY AND CHANGE ‘PIECEMEAL’, IN LITTLE BITS AND BOBS, YOU WON’T COMMIT TO CHANGING YOUR WHOLE CHARACTER ROLE BECAUSE YOU STILL NEED ‘SOMETHING’ TO COMFORT YOURSELF IN ORDER TO COPE. YOU GO ON PISSING YOUR ENERGY WAY ON THE COMFORTS OF A CHILD, AND THEN WONDER WHY YOU HAVE NO ENERGY TO CHANGE, SO YOU ARE AN EVEN MORE DELUSIONAL TOOL THAN YOU WERE BEFORE…

SO THE TRICK, WHICH IS HOPEFULLY OBVIOUS BY NOW, IS TO USE THIS COMFORT SEEKING MECHANSIM, THE BASIC PROCESS YOU ‘USE TO EXPEREINCE LIFE’ AGAINST ITSELF, BY MAKING THIS CHANGE BOTH MORE COMFORTING, AND CHOOSING A PARTICULAR TYPE OF CHANGE THAT BUILDS YOUR ENERGY, INSTEAD OF DEPLETING IT, SO YOU HAVE A POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP, INSTEAD OF A NEGATIVE ONE. YOUR NEW ROLE MUST BE UNDERPINED, IN ITS ENTIRITY BY ‘BOTTLE’, AS A FELT COMFORT YOU RETREAT TO IN ORDER TO COPE, UNTIL THAT BOTTLE GROWS TO THE POINT THAT YOU START ACTING CONSCIOUSLY, INSTEAD OF JUST REACTING UNCONSCIOUSLY, AS YOU NO LONGER GIVE A FUCK ABOUT COPING WITH OTHER PEOPLES REALITY – 99% OF OTHER PEOPLE ARE THE SAME CHILDISH ANIMAL YOU USED TO BE, SO YOU ‘LOOK DOWN ON THEM’ AS YOUR ‘NEW REACTION’, AS YOU ARE NOW SUPERIOR TO THAT, ‘EMOTIONALLY’.

SO THE REAL TRICK, WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND THEM IS YOU MUST COMMIT TO THIS AT A SPIRITUAL LEVEL, AT THE LEVEL OF YOUR ‘WILLFUL SPIRIT’ BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO BE A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL ANYMORE, YOU WANT MORE THAN THIS SHITTY LITTLE LIFE OF YOURS – YOU WANT ‘TO KNOW’ YOURSELF, YOUR ANCESTORS CHARACTER. SO TRY AND REMEMBER FOR THE REST OF THIS POST –

THE ISSUE IS THAT YOU ‘CANNOT CHANGE’ WHAT YOU ‘CANNOT SEE’ AS ‘A CAUSE’.

SO UNLESS YOU STOP ‘BEING IT’ YOU CAN’T GROW THE FUCK UP, EVER…

IF YOU HAVE NEVER CONSCIOUSLY GROWN UP, THEN ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS STILL CONTROLLING YOU, THE VAST MARJORITY OF YOUR UNBIDDEN THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, FEAR/DESIRES/BOREDOMS COME FROM ‘YOU THE CHILD’, SITTING ‘UNCONSCIOUSLY AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND’. ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ IS SIMPLY A THIN VENEER TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF ALL THESE WOODEN, OUT OF DATE AND FRANKLY SELF-DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS OF ‘COPING WITH MOMENTARY LIFE’ – YOU SIMPLY DON’T KNOW YOU THE CHILD, SO YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOUR REACTIONS, IN THE MOMENT.

THE KILLER ISSUE IS THAT YOU CANNOT ‘SEE YOURSELF’ – YOU HAVE ‘NO SELF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE MOMENT OF REACTION‘, SO ALL YOUR ATTENTION IS DIRECTED AT THE FORCED REACTIONS OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’, ‘PROJECTED OUTWARDS’, AS YOUR THOUGHTS.

WHEN YOU ARE SELF CONSCIOUS ‘ENOUGH’ YOU DON’T JUST SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DO IT, YOU SEE WHY YOU WANT TO DO THAT BEFORE YOU DO IT – YOU SEE THE BANAL EGO-SAFETY OF A CHILD IN IT, AND THEREFORE IT IS EASY TO DISMISS ‘BEFORE YOU DO IT’.

YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY CHOOSE THE ACTIONS OF ‘YOU THE ADULT’, AS ‘A CONSCIOUS CHOICE’ OF ‘WHAT DO I WANNA DO NOW FOR MY BENEFIT’, ‘PROJECTED INWARDS’ AS CONSCIOUS THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘THE POINT OF YOU’, WHAT YOU ‘WANT’ INSTEAD OF COPING WITH WHAT YOU DON’T WANT.

THIS IS HOW YOU PLAY A CONSCIOUS ROLE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CHANGE, IT IS THE ACTUAL MECHANISM OF ALL CHANGE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, AS IT IS ACTUALLY THE WAY YOU LEARNT TO ‘BE A CHILD’, BY BEING DESPERATE TO PLEASE THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP YOU ALIVE.

BUT NOW YOU ARE AN ADULT, YOU DON’T NEED TO PLEASE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF, AND YOU THE CHILD FUCKING HATES THAT…

SO WHAT FOLLOWS NOW IS HOW YOU GET YOU THE CHILD HANDS OFF YOUR MENTAL/EMOTIONAL ‘CONTROLS’ BEFORE YOU LEARN HOW TO USE THOSE CONTROLS DIRECTLY, PLAYING A CONSCIOUS ROLE OF ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU, VIA ‘THE COMFORT OF BOTTLE’.

SO ITS TIME TO GET USED TO BEING ‘UNCOMFORTUABLE’ WITH THE REACTIONS OF YOU THE CHILD BY DEFINITION – ITS TIME TO GET SCARED OF EGO SAFETY, ‘CAUSE ITS REALLY NOT THAT SAFE – IN THE MOMENT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL, ALL YOU CAN DO IS WONDER WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED, AFTERWARDS, WHEN ‘THE MOMENT HAS GONE’…

YEP – BEST UNDERSTAND NOW – YOU THE CHILD IS A GUTLESS TWAT, A HOPELESS, HARMLESS PUSSY, FOREVER LOOKING FOR THE EASY WAY OUT, THE CHEAT CODE, THE APPEARANCE OF QUALITY, TO FAKE IT AND COPE BUT ALL THE COMFORTS YOU USE TO COPE ARE DELUSIONS, THEY ARE TOTALLY FAKE, SO YOU ARE TOO. UNDERSTAND NOW, AND I’M TRULY SORRY TO BE ‘THE ONE’ TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT ITS TIME TO GET SCARED, BOTH OF FOLKS LIKE ME, BUT MUCH MORE IMPORTANTLY OF ‘YOU THE CHILDISH SELF’ BECAUSE IT HATES YOU – IT IS KILLING YOU, ‘THE QUALITY OF YOU’ WITH ‘CHEAP LOVE’…

SEE YOU THINK ‘LOVE’ IS CHILDISH COMFORT, LIKE YOU LEARNT AS A CHILD, BUT IT IS SIMPLY THE INVISIBLE BARS ON THE CAGE YOU CANNOT SEE, THE ‘CAGE OF CHILDHOOD’ – YOU ALWAYS CHOOSE TO CLING ONTO THOSE BARS, CAUSE YOU CAN’T COPE WITHOUT THE COMFORTING DELUSIONS OF FAMILIARITY, SO, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT YOU NEED TO GET SCARED OF RIGHT NOW, FIRST AND LAST, IT YOUR OWN FUCKING STUPIDITY…

YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR ‘ATTITUDE’ TOWARD THE CHILDISH FEAR OF EGO SAFETY.

AND YOU MUST DO THIS OUT OF THE GIFTED SELF RESPECT YOU CURRENTLY LACK.

SO, YOU MUST SEE ‘THE BASIC BITCH’ = THE BIG KID = THE HARMLESS FUCK UP IN YOU.

YOU MUST SEE HOW INCONSISTENT, HOW TRIVIAL, HOW COMFORT SEEKING YOUR REACTIONS ARE.

YES, YOU MUST SEE YOU CHOOSE TO DELUDE YOURSELF ON PURPOSE AS A SAD, ‘CLEVER’ MOMENTARY COMFORT.

AND SERIOUSLY, YOU MUST SEE ONLY A GUTLESS DORK COPES BY PRETENDING TO BE CLEVER IN SECRET, OBVIOUSLY.

IT MUST CLICK SO YOU SEE IT IS ONLY ‘THE SECRET BIT’ THAT MAKES IT WORK FOR YOU, ‘IN PUBLIC’ YOU WOULD BE A TOOL.

SO YOU MUST SEE THAT MAKES YOU AN EMBARRISSMENT TO YOUR OWN KIND NOW – YOU ARE TRIVIAL, A NASTY LITTLE THING.

THEN YOU WILL STOP JUST COPING WITH BEING A USELESS SHITSTAIN AND ‘WANT TO’ CHANGE, NOW BECAUSE YOU HATE THAT.

SO YOU MUST LEARN TO REPLACE THE COMFORTS OF A CHILD WITH THE COMFORTS OF ELITISIM.

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL COMFORT OF BEING ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU, IN THE MOMENT. THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE VERY PRACTICAL MAGIC OF ‘GROWING UP’ AS ‘POWER OVER YOU THE CHILD’. AND YOU WILL LEARN TO HATE THE GUTLESS ‘FAKE COMFORTS OF A CHILD AS WEAKNESS’ – WITHOUT THIS SWITCH IN YOUR CHOICE OF COMFORTS, YOU ARE FUCKING DOOMED…

WITHOUT THIS SWITCH YOU WILL GO ON COMFORTING YOURSELF FOR THE EMPTY, STEREOTYPICAL, UGLY NOTHING OF YOUR LIFE WITH MORE OF THAT SAME NOTHING, WHICH WILL KEEP YOU STUCK AS NOTHING FOREVER. BUT WHEN YOU TRY THIS CHANGE YOU WILL SEE ‘THE COPING TRAP’ OF THAT ‘REACTION TOWARD MOMENTARY COMFORT’.

YOU WILL SEE THAT THESE ‘COPING DELUSIONS’ ARE JUST A FAKE SUBSTITUTE ‘FOR CHANGE’.

SEE TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE SO UNBELIVEABLY FAKE EVEN YOU CAN’T SEE IT – YOU ARE ‘HYPNOTIZED’.

SO I’M GOING TO HELP YOU WITH THAT TODAY, AS WE HAVE TO BREAK THE SPELL OF ‘YOUR MOMENTS’…

IN THE MEANTIME, JUST FOR THE CRAIC LIKE, TAKE A QUICK LOOK AT ALL YOUR CLEVER, COPING SECRETS, ALL THE CRINGE, ALL THE TWATTINESS IN YOU, THEN TRY AND SEE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE FOR YOU THUS FAR, OUTSIDE OF YOUR ‘CHILDISH MOMENTARY NEEDS’, THAT IS, OUTSIDE OF THE SHIT YOU NEED TO DO TO COMFORT YOURSELF SO YOU CAN ‘COPE’ BECAUSE YOU ARE A GUTLESS PUSSY, A SELF DESTRUCTIVE STREET WHORE… 

YES, LETS FACE IT, EH – THE WAY MOST OF YOU LEARNT TO COPE WAS SO SHIT IT DIDN’T EVEN WORK AS A KID, LET ALONE NOW – YOU HAD CRAP, DIS-INTERESTED PARENTS, A BAD PLAYGROUND EXPEREINCE, NO ONE EXPLAINED HOW YOU WERE DIFFERENT TO THEM, WHAT YOUR FEELINGS MEANT, ETC ETC. Not your fault of course, and sure, its maybe ALL YOU KNOW, but ever noticed that none of it REALLY works AT ALL anymore, THAT all your most fundamental, reactive tactics of EGO SAFETY, OF COPING WITH LIFE are just making you an even bigger fuck up, and even more delusional, than you where EVEN yesterday?

Do you wanna know why..? Protecting the ‘fragile ego’ of a child, something that you should of changed multiple times by even your 30s after you have GROWN UP, is a form of ENERGETIC SUICIDE – ITS DRAINS YOUR ENERGY QUICKER THAN ANYTHING ELSE, so you will have a MASSIVE ‘ENERGY DEBT’, with many turning to constant drug use, living in a victim centred fantasy world where nothing is your fault, and worse, mainlining nasty little parasitic behaviours in order to CONTINUE TO COPE with YOUR CHILDISH ‘TACTICS OF COPING’ THAT DON’T FUCKING WORK – NO ONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU, NO ONE ELSE REALLY GIVES A SHIT.

This is what 4th wayers call ‘PASSIVE SELF DESTRUCTION’, sleep walking into your very own personal hell, by trying to make THE LIFE OF YOU THE CHILD cool, exciting, ANTI-HEROIC, like a KID IN A PLAYGROUND – BUT ‘ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD’ (Sorry, Kylie), a whole nasty little collection of COPING DELUSIONS = your UNCONSCIOUS character of NO CHARACTER, OF A FAKE, COPIED SET OF CHARACTER PATTERNS YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING WANT TO BE. 

So lets be honest now, the reason for this DRAMATIC START TODAY is that GROWING UP IN LATER LIFE IS A ‘BIT OF A BASTARD’ – you have built your whole world on top THE MINDSET OF A CHILD, so you are a weak, ever changing, lazy, pointless thing THAT HAS TO FAKE IT EVERYDAY to get by, BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW YOURSELF, YOU ARE UNRELIABLE, INCONSISTENT. BUT WORSE OF ALL YOU ARE CONTROLLED BY THE ‘ANXIETY OF A CHILD’ – A SEMI PERMANENT SENSE OF UNEASE THAT SOMETHING IS ‘NOT RIGHT’, sitting quietly, usually un-noticed by conscious YOU, whilst controlling your thoughts, feeling, sensations FROM THE BACK OF YOUR MIND. But YOU, sitting way in the front, ONLY EVER EXPEREINCE THE RESULTS OF THAT CONTROL, YOU NEVER SEE THE ‘WHY’ YOU THINK AND FEEL THAT, you just think and feel whatever reaction is produced by that WHY.

See YOU, ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’, ARE ‘YOU THE CHILDS’ PRISONER, little more than a tame, trusting DOG ON A LEAD – YOUR REALITY IS DEFINED BY WHAT YOU THE CHILD SHOWS YOU, so you never see that ROPE AROUND YOUR NECK, all you have is that vague feeling that SOMETHING IS WRONG. And you are right, its just that what is not right is ‘YOU THE CHILD’, because you ‘KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO’, or ‘WHY YOU DO IT’, which is one of the many definitions of EVIL, much as it only truly becomes EVIL when you need to take pleasure in the suffering of others through controlling them, however much YOU BLAME THEM, HOWEVER CLEVERLY YOU DECIEVE YOURSELF AND THE WORLD ABOUT YOU TRUE MOTIVES.

So NO MATTER HOW GIFTED YOU ARE THE BEST YOU WILL DO AS A FECKLESS, COMFORT OBSESSED ‘CHILD’ is to get lost in that short-lived ‘FELT’, transient SPIRITUALITY of the POWER OF BEING DESIRED, the POWER OF CONTROL, or maybe the POWER OF BEING FEARED, and that is a very poor ‘runners up prize in life’ – there is more than enough whores, monsters and gangsters in this world, forever racked by their secret little ‘shames’ already, sorry. All very understandable of course, and its not even your fault – YOU ARE A CHILD, YOU ARE IRRESPONSIBLE BY NATURE, so NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT, is it – THERE IS NO YOU TO BLAME, SO OUTSIDE OF YOUR GIFTED SHAME YOU DON’T EVEN FEEL IT…

Now I’m going to briefly ‘break the 4th wall’ and speak directly to some of you WHO HAVE THIS ISSUE IN SPADES (Sorry, Bridge…), much as the whole ‘explaining all the error cases’ thing is frowned upon in teaching circles, THIS ISSUE IS VERY RELEVANT TO TODAY LESSON, TO GROWING UP, BECAUSE IT IS ‘A TEST YOU HAVE FAILED’, like all of us hedonistic types once failed AT THE START. See what you have done is KINK, perverted the ‘USE’ of the ENERGY of ‘FELT SELF-CONSCIOUS’ triggered by ‘3RD PARTY ATTENTION‘. This is actually a KEY PART OF GROWING UP ‘NATURALLY’, A DRIVING FORCE OF GIFTED DEVELOPMENT ITSELF DEGRADED into a form of SIMPLE PLEASURE – ‘THE MASTERING’ OF ‘PERFORMANCE ANXIETY’ but ONLY AS A SOURCE OF TRANSIENT RELIEF = TO COMFORT YOURSELF LIKE A CHILD, RATHER THAN COMFORT YOURSELF AND USE IT TO GROW UP, ‘SPIRITUALLY’, LIKE AN ADULT.

For many of the most mid to highly GIFTED AMONGST YOU IT IS THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE A HEDONIST, as the rest of your upbring did not suit it – IT WAS TRIGGERED IN YOU BY SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU ONCE-UPON-A-TIME, AND NOW YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO ‘NORMAL LIFE’. You entire mode of existence, YOUR MIND STATE IS UNDERPINNED BY THE CONSTANT SEEKING OF THIS PLEASURE, OF ‘THE EMPOWERMENT OF ELECTRIC ATTENTION’, all day, everyday, AS A COMFORT. See as long as you only ‘SEE IT’ as COMFORT you will never, ever look to develop it, SO YOU THE CHILD WILL MAKE DAMN SURE THAT REMAINS THE CASE BY MAKING ALL ‘NATURAL’ AVENUES TO FURTHER DEVELOPMENT SEEM SCAREY OR BORING ‘ON PURPOSE’, which frankly you really should of been able to work out for yourself by now…

Obviously, most ANIMALS WHO GO THIS ROUTE ARE NOT GIFTED, as it is a VERY ANIMAL PLEASURE WHICH THEY CANNOT DEVELOP BEYOND THEIR BIOLOGY , and so becomes strongly associated with constant drug use, BUT FOR THE GIFTED ITS BECOMES THE ONLY AVENUE YOUR GIFT HAS TO ‘REACH YOU’, AS YOUR GIFT SUPERCHARGES THAT GATEWAY PLEASURE BEYOND ANYTHING AN ANIMAL IS CAPABLE OF. See the key reason no one tells you this is that it LEADS TO THE BELIEF THAT ANIMAL HEDONISM IS ‘GOOD IN ITSELF’, RATHER THAN BEING ‘GOOD AS A GATEWAY TO SOMETHING ELSE’, SOMETHING YOU MUST GET TO AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DESTROY YOURSELF, in some trite, formulaic and frankly deeply tedious way – crying all the way to your own little hell whilst secretly loving it – (YAWN).

The way you can (broadly) tell the difference between the animals and the gifted in this sense is simple – GIFTED MAINLINE THE ATTENTION AT A ‘STAR OF THE SHOW’ LEVEL, because they can literally feel that attention as pleasure IN A GRANULAR, ‘QAUNTITY’, they love ‘all eyes on me’ (Sorry, Billie Elish..). Animals experience that self-conscious pleasure ‘secondhand’ as a SPECTATOR, all creepy and hiding at the back, clapping along whilst sniggering at their success, cleverness. An animal only has chemical emotions, substances in their blood stream, and so everything degrades along with the receptors of those substances when abused, everything becomes clogged and therefore more extreme, more perverted in time. BUT GIFTED HAVE HIGHER EMOTIONS, WHICH ARE WAY, WAY MORE POWERFUL, AND THEREFORE WAY MORE TEMPTING TO ABUSE, for the ‘unschooled gifted’ of this world, until you destroy them BY OVER FISHING, BY EXHAUSTING THE STRENGTH OF YOUR OWN SPIRIT AS A ‘FORM OF CHILDISH COMFORT’ YOU DON’T FUCKING NEED – YOU HAVE IT ALREADY.

It is useful to know this mechanism AS THAT is ‘WHAT A PARASITE IS’ – someone who experiences this level of ‘pleasure as comfort’ 2nd hand, as they are not capable of it themselves, because it is USEFUL FOR THE GIFTED TO KNOW AS THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL BECOME VIA HEDONISM, WHEN YOUR ENERGETIC DEBT INCREASES TO THE POINT THAT YOU CAN NO LONGER EXPEREINCE IT DIRECTLY EITHER. THEN YOU BECOME THE HORROR THAT IS A ‘GIFTED PARASITE’, THE ENEMY OF YOUR KIND, a ‘dark, corrupted Elf” that becomes an Uruk-Hai, before descending even further to the level of a Snaga (Sorry, Tolkien..), when you are ‘broken beyond repair’. So many Gifted, SPIRITED FOLKS YOU MEET IN THIS DAY AND AGE SIMPLY HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW EXHAUSTED THEY ARE, as that is the key stratergy of you the child – the weaker you are the easier it is to OVERWHELM YOU IN THE MOMENT OF YOUR ANXIETY WITH THE NEED FOR COMFORT…

‘So where have I gone wrong then’ you wail, ‘what trick am I missing?’ – EASY, YOU HAVE FAILED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE FEELING YOU CRAVE IS NOT EXTERNAL ATTENTION IN ITSELF, IT IS SIMPLY ‘TRIGGERED BY ATTENTION’ IN CHILDHOOD, IT IS ACTUALLY THE SELF CONSCIOUS FEELING OF YOUR SPIRIT THAT IS ‘SPUN UP’ BY ATTENTION, AMONGST MANY OTHER THINGS PERSONAL TO YOUR TYPE, IE FROM ‘THE SOURCE’ OF YOUR GIFT ITSELF. So the problem you have NOW is that you have FAILED TO REALIZE THAT YOU CAN TRIGGER THAT ‘FEELING OF EMPOWERMENT’ VIA YOUR ‘OWN ATTENTION’, BY EVOKING IT, you are stuck descending the food chain of animal life trying to chase a false notion of THE TRUTH of that feeling – YOU THE CHILD HAS PERVERTED IT.

See once you have GROWN UP you can USE YOUR ATTENTION TO MAINLINE THAT FEELING ALL DAY, EVERYDAY VIA A SIMPLE MECHANSIM LIKE ‘THE FOCUSED APPRECIATION OF YOURSELF’, of all that is of ‘higher quality’ in yourself, THAT IS ‘BETTER THAN’ OTHERS, including your stuff, the quality of your surroundings, even the NATURE you are standing on ITSELF. THIS IS WHAT THE COMFORT OF ELITISIM ‘IS’ at a starter level, HOW IT IS FELT IN THE NOW – there are many ways to do it, but the one RIGHT FOR YOU IS THE ONE CLOSEST TO YOU GIFT, NOT THE MECHANSIM YOU THE CHILDS USES TO PERVERT YOUR GIFT, WHAT YOU CURRENTLY CRAVE = A FETISH. 

I give you this APPREICIATION trigger out of the many other options (often based on the much more DIFFICULT sense of SEXUAL AROUSAL) SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU WILL RECOGNIZE IT VIA ‘NEW AGENESS’, AS IT IS ONE OF THE MOST GENERIC, just don’t forget that this feeling must be alive – you can’t trigger your spirit by simply telling yourself you appreciate something, YOU MUST ACTUALLY FEEL IT, THEN EXPAND IT, MAINTAIN IT, now you know what it is, AND SO know HOW TO work out for yourself how to CONSTANTLY REFRESH IT, MOMENT TO MOMENT, INSTEAD OF ‘GIVING IN’ WHEN YOU THE CHILD FORCES OTHER, UNBIDDEN MOMENTS ON YOU, FORCING YOU TO LET YOUR SPIRIT DROP AWAY FROM YOUR ATTENTION, BECAUSE THAT ‘FEELING NEEDS YOUR SPECIAL ATTENTION’, before it BECOMES ‘BOTTLE’ = YOUR INDEPENDANT NATURE = GIFTED YOU. 

Know that ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS IS ITS EASY – you don’t need to exhaust and poison yourself for ‘MORE ANIMAL ATTENTION’, you need GIFTED ATTENTION, and at the start YOUR GIFT TURNED BACK ON ITSELF IS MORE THAN ENOUGH TO FEEL THAT, TRIGGERED BY ‘YOUR FELT APPRECIATION’, FELT GRATITUDE, OR HOWEVER YOU CHARACTERISE WHAT IS A VERY SPECIAL TRIGGER FEELING TO YOURSELF. Then you can literally walk around with your own ON SWITCH, you don’t need the projected desperation of YOU THE CHILD to always be on the look out for it, AS YOU THE CHILD WILL USE THIS PERVERSION TO KEEP YOU TRAPPED IN NOTHINGNESS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, to destroy your mental stability, your health, your looks, YOUR SPIRIT ITSELF. Hedonists are so close to the process of actually GROWING UP SPIRITUALITY ITS ACTUALLY PAINFUL – every time you try it is whipped from your grasp in the last second by YOUR TEDIOUS NEED TO COMFORT YOURSELF EXTERNALLY, LIKE A LITTLE KID, LOST AT THE FAIRGROUND…

This is the killer bit, THE BIT YOU NEED TO GET SO ALL ‘MY BETTERS’ ARE NOT TO BE PROVED RIGHT IN THAT I AM MAKING A MISTAKE IN TELLING YOU THIS – THE KEY WARNING YOU NEED TO GET – if you settle for the use of external triggers for this feeling THEN YOU DAMN YOURSELF TO INCREASINGLY RAPID DECLINE, AS ANY EXTERNAL FOCUS IN YOURSELF DURING THIS FEELING DEPLETES YOU, PARTICUARLY WHEN YOUR SPIRIT IS VERY HIGH OR YOUR BLOOD IS UP THEN YOU ARE POURING YOUR GIFT DOWN THE DRAIN FOR THE PLEASURE OF FEELING IT ‘LEAVE YOU’, BY LINKING/DIRECTING IT OUTWARD. 

But when your ATTENTION TRIGGER IS INTERNAL, ON YOURSELF THE ENERGY OF YOUR GIFT IS RECYCLED, DIRECTED BACK ON ITSELF, SO IT ACTUALLY BUILDS. It is VERY IMPORTANT TO GET THIS PLEASE, as otherwise YOU THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE CHILD will simply shrug your shoulders and say, in whatever opportunistic moment occurs to COMFORT YOURSELF – ‘hey, what does it matter HOW I feel this, I may be a fuck up but I feel great in the moment, SO ITS ALL GOOD bitch’. You must FIGHT THIS URGE TO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR FUTURE AT ALL COSTS, otherwise what I have just said will be your CURSE, FOREVER.  

YOU MUST KEEP YOUR ENERGY FOR YOURSELF, AT ALL COSTS – IT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT YOU.

IN TRUTH ITS SO VALUABLE ITS ALL YOU HAVE – ALL THAT SEPARATES YOU FROM A DOMESTICATED, HERD ANIMAL…

BE VERY, VERY, VERY CLEAR – its NOT ALL GOOD TO WASTE YOURSELF, its not THE SAME – THERE ARE 2 WAYS TO DO THIS COMFORTING PLEASURE, A RIGHT WAY TO DO ‘PLEASURABLE SELF-CONSCIOUS’ AND A WRONG WAY TO ACHIEVE ALMOST THE SAME FEELING BUT WITH DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT RESULTS. DON’T BE SEDUCED BY THE EASY WRONG WAY YOU ALREADY KNOW, PUT THE EFFORT INTO LEARNING THE HARD RIGHT WAY YOU DON’T. I promise you will start to LIVE via the PLEASURE OF POWER OVER YOURSELF IF YOU DO, instead of continuing to DIE via the SECOND PLACE of the POWER OF EXTERNAL ATTENTION, CONTROL, FEARSOMENESS, if not all three = RAPID SELF-DESTRUCTION.    

So now we get to it, as to FIGHT OFF YOU THE CHILD IN THE MOMENT YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS, not just HOW TO DO IT – THEY ARE CONNECTED…     

KNOW AS A BIG KID ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ IS A ‘PASSIVE MINDSET’ = YOUR CONSCIOUS FRAMEWORK OF ‘ME’ IS FULL OF ‘NOT ME’, IT IS ‘OTHER’.

THIS ‘NOT ME’ IS A COLLECTION OF INVENTED/COPIED BUT NOW UNCONSCIOUS PATTERN REACTIONS DESIGNED TO ‘COPE’ WITH ‘MOMENTARY ANXIETY’ IN CHILDHOOD, WHICH YOU NOW CONSIDER TO BE YOUR CARVED IN STONE ‘CHARACTER’ – IT IS ‘YOU IN THE MOMENT’, AS AND WHEN IT ‘OCCURS TO YOU’.

THE PRIMARY WAY YOU ‘COPE’ IS TO ‘TRY AND COMFORT YOURSELF’ AGAINST ANXIETY, WHICH QUICKLY EVOLVES INTO PATTERNS OF EGO SAFETY – YOUR PATTERNS ‘DEFEND YOU’ BY DEFENDING THEMSELVES, THEIR NEED TO EXIST, SO THEY BECOME SELF SERVING, COMPLEX, STRUCTURAL FANTASIES.

SO THIS ‘YOU IN THE MOMENT’, THE ‘YOU THE CHILD’, TAKES PRIORITY OVER YOU THE ‘THINKING CONSCIOUSNESS’, IT CONTROLS BY ‘INFECTION’. EVEN WHEN THINK UP A ‘REASONED’, ‘HIGH ENERGY GOAL’, YOU STILL CONSIDER ‘YOURSELF’ TO BE YOUR UNBIDDEN REACTIONS TO THAT GOAL, NOT ‘THE GOAL’, BECAUSE YOU ARE THAT STUPID – TO BELIEVE YOUR FALSE INSTINCTS OVER WHAT YOU HAVE ACTUALLY ‘DECIDED’.

IN TRUTH, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER BOTHERED TO DEVELOP A REAL CHARACTER, OR FIND THE ONE YOU WERE BORN WITH SHOULD YOU BE GIFTED, YOU ARE STUCK ‘FEELING’ THAT YOUR TEMPORARY, UNSTABLE, EVERY CHANGING COPING PATTERNS ARE ‘A CHARACTER’, BECAUSE THEY ‘ACT FAST’.

BUT THESE PATTERNS ARE MEANT TO ‘BE SERVANTS’, WHY YOU INVENTED THEM AS BEHAVIOURS DESIGNED TO BE ‘SUBSERVIANT TO YOURSELF WHO FEELS’ TO HELP ‘YOU COPE’ AS A CHILD WITH ‘CHALLENGE’, BUT THEY HAVE ‘GONE ROGUE’, BECOME ‘MULTIPLE, UNBIDDEN THOUGHTS’.

SEE THESE COPING PATTERNS ARE PERSISTENT – ‘WEIGHTED’ WITH THAT ANXIETY, EITHER PAIN/PLEASURE, SO THEY ARE VERY COMPELLING BUT ONLY ‘IN THAT MOMENT’. THEY ‘DEFINE’ YOU BY ‘OVERWHELMING’ YOU IN THE MOMENT – THEY HAPPEN ‘FAST’, BEFORE CONSCIOUS YOU REFLECTS ON THEM.

SO THAT MOMENTARY COPING REACTION BECOMES ‘WHO YOU THE CHILD IS’, SIMPLY BY STRINGING A LONG SEQEUNCE OF THEM TOGETHER. SO PASSIVE YOU JUST ‘WATCHES OUT FOR’ AND THEN ‘ACTS OUT’ YOUR MOST ‘EMOTIONAL REACTIONS’ TO WHAT HAPPENS ‘TO YOU’, WITHOUT NOTICING.

IN CHILDHOOD YOU ACCEPT BEING ‘OBLIGATED’ TO FOLLOW, THINK, FEEL ALL YOUR ‘REACTIONS’, BECAUSE THERE IS ‘NOTHING’ TO STOP THEM, ONLY FEAR, ANOTHER PATTERN. SO YOU ‘GIVE IN’ TO EVERY THOUGHT, FEELING, URGE IN YOURSELF AS IF IT IS GOOD, CORRECT, JUST BY ITS ‘OCCURING’.

BUT ITS NOT GOOD, IT NOT ‘ANYTHING’, IT A FORGOTTEN MEMORY OF WHAT YOU DID LAST TIME, AS A CHILD, TRYING TO COMFORT ITSELF, SO DON’T GET CONFUSED BY THE WORD REACT MEANING A TYPE OF ‘REASONED RESPONSE’ – ITS A ‘GUESS’ THAT BECAME A ‘FALSE INSTINCT’, A BLUNT INSTRUMENT. 

SEE YOU REACT THE SAME WAY YOUR KNEE FLEXES WHEN THE DOC HITS IT WITH A HAMMER, YOUR LEARNT PATTERNS HAVE BECOME ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’, WHAT THE MEN IN ‘WHITE COATS’ CALL ‘COMPLEXES’, AND THERE ARE LOTS AND LOTS OF THEM THAT MAKE UP YOUR ‘NO CHARACTER’.

THESE COMPLEXES WORK LIKE A ELECTRONIC SECURITY SYSTEM, FOREVER TRYING TO USE YOUR (NOT SO) LARGE DATA MODEL TO SCAN FOR SIMILIAR THINGS AS ‘THREATS TO YOU’ THAT ‘MIGHT BE TRUE’, LIKE ‘LAST TIME’, WHICH IS WHY ‘FEAR UNDERPINS YOU’, LIKE MOST BIG KIDS.

BUT IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT HAS CAUSED THAT RED LIGHT TO FLASH, THAT SIREN TO BLAIR SO ANNOYINGLY THAT YOU HAVE TO ‘RELEASE THAT TENSION’ WITH A REACTION, NOW, WHAT MATTERS IS ITS ‘A MOMENT’ THAT HAS MANAGED TO ‘TRIGGER OTHER MOMENTS’ = IT IS ALL ‘TEMPORARY’.

SEE THE REASON THAT BEING IN ‘THE THRALL’ OF ‘THE TEMPORARY’ IS SO BLOODY DEADLY IS THAT YOU CANNOT STOP IT AFTER YOU HAVE ‘NOTICED IT’ – IT HAS ‘ALREADY HAPPENED’, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS SIMPLY THE SAME OLD WATERFALL OF COMPELLING CRAP REACTIONS = ALL YOU CAN THINK.  

SO YOU LIVE VIA ‘TEMPORARY MOMENTS’, REACT TO ‘TEMPORARY CIRCUMSTANCE’, DECIDE BASED ON ‘TEMPORARY URGES’, AND YOU LOVE IT. TO BE A CHILD AS AN ADULT IS TO BE ‘TEMPORARY’, ‘NO-CONSISTENT-THING’, YOU ACTUALLY DON’T EXIST OUTSIDE OF YOUR REACTIONS, ALWAYS ‘ON ALERT’.

BUT YOU MAY AS WELL BE DEAD, BECAUSE YOU ARE LIVING LIKE ‘THE WALKING DEAD’, WHY SOME US ACTUALLY CALL YOU ‘THE GRATEFUL DEAD’…

AND THATS NOT AN ‘ANTI-HEROIC’ COMPLIMENT – WE ARE CALLING YOU ‘POINTLESS’, HARMLESS, TAME, A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL = FAKE.

BE CLEAR – A ‘CHILD HAS NO CHARACTER’, THAT IS WHY A CHILDISH ADULT IS AN INCONSISTENT ‘FUCK UP’… BUT YOU STILL THINK IT ‘COOL’ TO BE A ‘FUCK UP’, EVEN AFTER READING THIS, AND THATS HOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE STILL ‘A KID’, LOST AND ALONE, TRAPPED IN PATTERNS OF EGO SAFETY THAT DAMN YOU TO REPEAT THE SAME SHIT, THE SAME MISTAKES, THE SAME EVERYTHING, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, FOREVER…

THE KEY PROBLEM IS THAT MOST OF THOSE ‘DOMINANT COMFORTING REACTIONS’ THAT HAVE BEEN ‘LEARNT BY YOU’ IN THE PAST ARE SELF DESTRUCTIVE OUTSIDE OF THE MOMENT YOU USE THEM IN, TO THE POINT THAT EVEN YOU CAN SEE THAT AFTERWARDS. THEY ARE ‘MEMORIES OF COPING IN THE MOMENT’, NOT ‘THE’ TRUTH, NOT EFFECTIVE TACTICS FOR LIFE OUTSIDE OF THAT MOMENT – THEY ARE IMPERFECT, APPROXIMATED, PERVERTED. THE PROBLEM IS ‘THE MOMENT’, BEING OVERWHELMED BY YOUR CHILDISH BULLSHIT ‘IN THE MOMENT’, WHICH DESTROYS YOUR SENSE OF SELF, YOUR ABILITY TO ‘HAVE A CHARACTER’ OUTSIDE OF THAT MOMENT, EVER.

SEE ‘YOU’ TRUST THESE MOMENTARY REACTIONS MORE THAN YOU TRUST YOUR ABILITY TO THINK, EVEN THOUGH ITS OBVIOUS THAT THEY SIMPLY SEEK PLEASURE, RUN FROM PAIN, AND, MOST OF THE TIME, ARE SIMPLY LOOKING FOR SOMETHING EXCITING TO REACT TO IN THEIR CURRENT ‘MOOD STATE’= BORED – ‘THE DESIRE’ TO ‘HAVE A DESIRE’, TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, BECAUSE YOU DON’T, DO YOU. SO NOTHING HAPPENS TO YOU, AND NOTHING EVER CHANGES WITHOUT ‘EXTERNAL FORCE’ – YOU ‘REACT’, YOU DON’T ‘ACT’. FOR MANY GIFTED IT IS ONE OF THE MOST SHOCKING THINGS WHEN YOU GET THIS, WHEN YOU SEE THAT YOU HAVE ‘NO CONTROL’ OVER YOUR LIFE AT ALL, WHICH IS WHY TEACHERS SAY YOU ARE ASLEEP, DREAMING – YOUR ‘FATE’ WAS ‘DECIDED IN CHILDHOOD’, BUT YOU WON’T CHANGE, EVEN KNOWING THIS.

YES, TO LIVE IN YOUR MOMENTARY REACTIONS IS EASY, BECAUSE IT TAKES NO EFFORT TO ‘WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO OCCUR TO YOU’, WHICH MAKES IT VERY SEDUCTIVE. SO AS A CHILD YOU NEVER DEVELOP A ‘SENSE OF SELF’ ABOVE ‘YOUR BIOLOGY’ BY MAKING ‘SOMETHING HAPPEN OR STOPPING SOMETHING HAPPENING’ INSIDE YOURSELF. ‘YOU THE CHILD’ JUST WATCHES AND THEN PASSIVELY ‘FOLLOWS THE PATH TO ‘ THE MOST COMFORT IN THE MOMENT’ AS A ‘NO SELF’, WHICH IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE FORCED TO DO IMPORTANT STUFF, INDEED, YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO BE FORCED, AS OTHERWISE YOU WOULD ‘BORE YOURSELF TO DEATH’…

SO TO BE AN ADULT, TO BUILD A ‘SENSE OF SELF’ THAT IS PERMANENT, YOU MUST NEGATE THIS ‘NO SELF’ IN ‘THE MOMENT OF IT APPEARING’ AT THE START, BEFORE YOU REACT TO IT, NOT AFTER – YOU MUST BECOME ‘THE SOURCE’ OF THAT FORCE YOU NEED BY REALIZING ‘YOU ARE EXTERNAL’ TO ‘YOU THE CHILD’, AS YOU THE CHILD IS ACTUALLY A 3RD PERSON IN YOUR LIFE, EVEN FURTHER REMOVED FROM YOU THAN YOUR BIOLOGY, THE 2ND PERSON. THE ISSUE IS ‘THE MOMENT’ OF A ‘CHILDS EXPEREINCE OF LIFE’, THAT YOU MUST FREE YOURSELF FROM BEING ‘COMPELLED IN THE MOMENT’, AS OTHERWISE EVERYTHING, EVEN CHANGE, WILL REMAIN ‘TEMPORARY’ BEFORE BEING CYCLED ROUND AGAIN BY YOUR PATTERNS, SO YOU BECOME TEDIOUS, OBVIOUS, BANAL, AND FRANKLY BORING AS FUCK TO US.

SEE THERE IS NO POINT IN USING SOME NEW AGE CRAP LIKE REMINDING YOURSELF CONSTANTLY ‘WHAT WOULD I DO NOW IF I WAS BRAVE?’- YOU ARE NOT BRAVE, YOU HAVE ‘NO BOTTLE’ OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT CHASING, SO PRETENDING IS A WASTE OF TIME – YOU LIVE IN REACTIONS TO YOUR MOMENTS LIKE THEY ARE FOREVER. BACK WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DEVELOPED THAT BOTTLE NATURALLY, WHEN THAT SENSE OF SHAME, OF FAILURE, OF HUMILIATION SHOULD OF BEEN REPURPOSED AS ‘STRENGTH OF CHARACTER’, LIKE ALL ACTUALLY ANIMALS DO TO GROW UP OUT OF YOU THE CHILDISH FAILURE, YOU JUST OVER RODE THAT SHAME, INDEED YOU USED ‘THE FEAR OF IT’ TO OVER RIDE THE BEGINNING OF YOU THE ADULT, INSTEAD OF TAKING THE EASY PATH OF USING IT TO OVER RIDE ‘YOU THE FUCK UP’ BY ‘NEGATING’ YOUR MUCH WEAKER, MUCH MORE CONSCIOUS PATTERNS OF FAILURE, AT LEAST BACK THEN, WHEN YOU ACTUALLY WERE A KID.

BUT THE ISSUE REMAINS – YOU MUST BE CLEAR THAT THE SIMPLE ACT OF THIS NEGATING, OF THIS STOPPING AND SAYING ‘NO, I KNOW BETTER’, IS WHAT YOU THE ADULT IS ‘BUILT OFF’, BEFORE IT CRYSTALIZES AROUND A GOAL, OR TWO, TO BECOME AN ACTUAL CHARACTER THAT IS CONSISTENT BECAUSE YOU KNOW ‘WHO YOU ARE’ BY SIMPLY KNOWING ‘WHAT YOU DON’T WANT’, SO WHAT YOU DON’T WANT ‘TO BE’ WHEN YOU ‘GROW UP’. SHOULD YOU BE GIFTED, YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR ‘HEREDITARY CHARACTER’ WILL THEN SEE YOUR NEW ‘FREEDOM’ FROM ‘YOU THE CHILD’ AND APPEAR IN YOUR MENTAL LIFE – THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE, AND WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO DO, COMPELLED TO DO, INSTEAD OF THIS ‘POINTLESS DRIFTING’. 

SO YOU MUST DEVELOP A NEW REACTION TO MANAGE YOUR OLD REACTIONS TO ANXIETY WAY BETTER THAN YOU THE CHILD.

YOU MUST CONSTANTLY REFRESH THAT TEMPORARY ‘MOMENT’ CONSCIOUSLY, WITH THE SAME MOMENT YOU HAVE CHOSEN.

YOU MUST USE THE REPETITION OF A SPECIAL MOMENT, THAT HAS THE POWER TO DESTROY ALL YOUR PATTERN MOMENTS.

YOU MUST ‘EAT YOUR OLD SELF’, YOUR REACTIONS AS THEY SAY ON THE 4TH WAY, BY OVERPOWERING IT, ‘CAUSE ITS SHIT…

SEE THE MORE YOU CHASE COMFORT FROM ANXIETY, THEN THE MORE YOU CHASE ANXIETY – THEY ONLY EXIST TOGETHER.

TO GROW UP YOU MUST LEARN THE PLEASURE OF ‘FACING MOMENTARY ANXIETY’ ITSELF AND RUN TOWARD IT = ‘BOTTLE’.

THEN YOUR ‘INFERORITY COMPLEX’ OF PETTY ANXIETY MATCHED WITH PETTY COMFORTS WILL LITERALLY DISAPPEAR.

SO YOUR PETTY ANXIETIES WILL NO LONGER BY SCARY, AND YOUR PETTY COMFORTS WILL NO LONGER BE PLEASURABLE.

THEN YOU WILL SEE THE BRUTAL TRUTH – THEY WERE NEVER ‘BAD OR GOOD’ – ITS ALL A CON PLAYED ON CHILD BY ITSELF.

THEN YOU CAN ESCAPE THE TRAP OF BEING A BIG KID, OF BEING ‘NO-THING’, BECAUSE IT WILL LOOK LIKE ‘MADDNESS’.

AND ALL YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO IS ‘BE STILL, BE PATIENT’ WITH YOUR OLD SELF OF ‘NO SELF’, BY SEEING ITS ‘NOT YOU’, NOW…

SADLY YOU CAN’T DO THAT WITH THE PATTERNS OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’, SO CHILDREN ‘ARE GROWN UP’ BY ‘EXTERNAL SHOCKS’.

BUT YOU WON’T DO THAT, BECAUSE YOU THE CHILD ‘DON’T WANT TO’, SO YOU CAN’T ‘GROW YOURSELF UP’ AS A ‘BIG KID’.

SEE YOU HAVE FAILED TO GROW UP MULTIPLE TIMES SO YOU HAVE NOW ‘CONVINCED YOURSELF’ YOU DON’T WANT TO.

THE ONLY WAY TO ACHIEVE IT IS AS ‘A POWERFUL SIDE EFFECT’ OF ATTAINING SOMETHING ‘ELSE’ THAT FEELS ‘COMFORTING’.

SO YOUR PROCESS IS STILL COMFORTING, BUT ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL – BOTTLE = THE ‘BETTER THAN’ OF ‘ELITISM’.

SEE ELITISM IS NOT A GOAL, YOU WANT ‘THE EFFECT OF ELITISM’, YOUR GOAL IS WHAT IS ON ‘THE OTHER SIDE’ OF ELITISM.

AND, HOWEVER FAR THIS IS AWAY, JUST SO YOU KNOW, THAT GOAL IS ‘THE POWER TO BE OF SERVICE’.

SURE, AS A CHILD THAT ANXIETY OF ‘NOT KNOWING’, OF BEING DEPENDENT, OF BEING CONTROLLED IS NATURAL, NESSECARY TO LEARN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO SURVIVE AS AN ANIMAL, WHICH ALL CHILDREN START OUT AS NATURALLY. BUT AS AN ADULT IT IS ‘THE KISS OF DEATH’ ITSELF – IT IS TO BE A SLAVE TO EVERYTHING THAT IS ‘WRONG WITH YOU’, BECAUSE YOU DID NOT KNOW ANY BETTER AT THE TIME, AND YOU HAVE NOW CHOSEN TO ‘STOP LEARNING’. SO YOU THE CHILD IS STUCK BEING A CHILD, WITH THE MINDSET OF A CHILD, THE ‘NO GOAL’ OF A CHILD – COMFORT OF ‘EGO SAFETY’. 

SEE THE BIG ISSUE WITH ‘COPING’ AS A STRATERGY FOR LIFE IS YOU THINK ITS ‘SAFETY’ VS ANXIETY AND ‘GOOD’ VS DISCOMFORT, BUT ITS ACTUALLY ONLY SAFE AND GOOD FOR ‘TWAT YOU THE CHILD’. THE BRUTAL TRUTH IS SIMPLE – WHEN YOU ARE PASSIVE, WEAK, UNABLE TO DO EXTERNAL, LET ALONE INTERNAL CONFLICT, THERE IS ‘NO YOU’, AND THERE NEVER WILL BE UNTIL YOU ‘GROW UP’. YOU ARE WHAT FOLKS LIKE ME CALL A FUCK PUPPET, CAUSE YOU ARE CONSTANTLY FUCKED BY EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING, WHICH YOU WANT IN THE MOMENT BECAUSE IT ‘COMFORTS YOU’, AT LEAST FOR A MOMENT OR 2, BEFORE YOU FEEL EVEN WORSE LATER, WHEN YOU BRIEFLY ESCAPE THAT MOMENT = PASSIVE SELF DESTRUCTION. 

SEE THIS CLEARLY NOW BY TESTING IT IN YOUR OWN HEAD – YOU ARE STUCK LIVING BETWEEN ‘BEING-IN-ITSELF’ LIKE A CHILD, AND ‘BEING-FOR-ITSELF’, LIKE AN ADULT (Sorry, Existentialism) – YOU CAN ONLY EXPEREINCE 1 THOUGHT AT A TIME = ALWAYS YOUR STRONGEST, EMOTIONAL REACTION. Even worse, YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO ‘DELUDE’ YOURSELF, ENGAGING IN THE ‘BAD FAITH’ OF DENYING THE FACTS YOU SIMPLY DON’T WANT TO BE TRUE, UNTIL THEY DISAPPEAR FROM YOUR ‘CONCEPTUALIZATION’ OF REALITY, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE STILL VISIBLE TO EVERYONE, WHO SIMPLY LAUGH AT YOUR STUPIDITY, AND THEN USE IT FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT. YOU ARE A CHILD, AND THE KEY DEFINITION OF A CHILD IS THEIR REALITY IS A ‘MANAGED FANTASY’, BECAUSE THEY ‘PREFER IT TO THEIR REALITY’…

SEE YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THE FACTS ARE DIFFERENT SOMEHOW OUT OF THE KEY ‘DESIRE-OF-A-CHILD’ = TO CONTINUALLY SEEK TO COMFORT YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT OF YOUR ANXIETY, SO MUCH SO THAT YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS EVENTUALLY BLANKS ANY FACT THAT CONTRADICTS THIS = FANTASY WORLD. AND UNLESS YOU ARE ‘DRAGGED OUT OF IT ‘ BY ‘THE HAIR’ THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN EVER GET UNSTUCK BY YOURSELF, IN LATER LIFE – SEE THOSE AUTOMATIC PATTERNS OF THOUGHT ARE ALL YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH, SO ROUND AND ROUND YOU GO, CIRCLING THE DRAIN, BECAUSE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE ARE CONTROLLED BY THOSE SAME REACTIONS.

KNOW WHEN YOU ARE PASSIVE, STUCK ON AUTOMATIC PILOT, TRUSTING YOURSELF LIKE A FOOL, YOUR THOUGHTS ARE ‘YOUR MASTER’, BUT YOUR MASTER IS A STUPID, BORED, LAZY CHILD, PRONE TO ‘MOMENTARY’ OUTBURSTS OF INVENTED ‘OVER REACTION’ SO IT ‘FEELS BETTER’, AND THEREFORE FUCKS UP YOUR LIFE, YOUR DEVELOPMENT, YOUR EVERYTHING ‘ON PURPOSE’ IN ORDER TO MAKE THAT FEELING OF ‘A BIT BETTER’ NOW, AND AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, ALL DAY EVERY DAY. YET YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THIS, SEE NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING ‘ELSE’, OTHER THAN YOUR REACTIONS, AND YOUR REACTIONS CAN’T SEE YOUR REACTIONS IN THE MOMENT, ONLY YOU CAN SEE THEM BY STOPPING FOR A SECOND BEFORE YOU ‘ACT THEM OUT’, BUT YOU CAN’T CAN YOU, NOT WITH THE STRONGER ONES, UNLESS YOU ARE AFRAID OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DO = EXTERNAL FORCE…

YES, YOU THE CHILD IS AN ‘EMOTIONAL DRUG ADDICT’, AND HAS MADE THIS APPALLING, DEGENERATE APPROACH TO A LIFE OF EMPTY ‘COMFORTERS’ YOUR ‘TRIVIAL NORMAL’. BUT LOOKING FROM THE OUTSIDE IN, LIKE WE DO, ANY FOOL CAN SEE THAT TO BE A KID AS AN ADULT IS A FORM OF INSANITY, BECAUSE YOU ARE UNAWARE OF BOTH ‘WHAT YOU ARE DOING’, AND ‘WHY YOU ARE DOING IT’, THE REAL, EGOIC PURPOSE OF THAT REACTION – YOU ARE A FUCK PUPPET, LIVING IN A CAGE OF ‘EGO SAFETY’, YOU LITERALLY DON’T SEE ANYTHING ELSE ANYMORE, ANY OTHER OPTION, DO YOU, YOU CAN’T EVEN THINK OF OTHER OPTIONS, AS YOU THE CHILD HAS REMOVED THEM FROM YOUR ‘CONCEPTULIZATION OF THE MOMENT’…  

Wanna know why – YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF SELF ‘TO BE RESPONSIBLE TOO’, do you, ‘YOU LITERALLY DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU’, in the 3rd PERSON, as YOU DON’T EXIST AS A SOLID, STABLE THING IN THE 3RD PERSON, your experience of life is moment to moment, YOU ARE YOUR REACTIONS IN THE MOMENT, and the NEXT MOMENT, and then the NEXT MOMENT, ever changing, ever circling THE SAME DUMB SHIT AS YESTERDAY…

So its best to know this now – 

GROWING UP MEANS YOU HAVE TO ‘LEARN’ TO BE AN ADULT INSTEAD OF A CHILD – YOU CHANGE BY ‘EVOLVING’ OUT OF OLD YOU.

BUT GROWING IN LATER LIFE MEANS YOU ‘ALSO’ HAVE TO ‘UNLEARN’ THE PASSIVE MINDSET OF ‘FAKE YOU’ THE CHILDISH ADULT, THE TRAINWRECK. 

AND YOU HAVE TO DO BOTH THESE DISTINCTLY DIFFERENT THINGS AT THE SAME TIME, OTHERWISE THE LACK OF THE OTHER ONE WILL STOP YOU.

SEE NO MATTER HOW DUMB AS FUCK YOU THE CHILD IS, IT IS VERY, VERY GOOD AT STOPPING YOU CHANGING BECAUSE IT IS ‘VERY PERSISTENT’. SO YOU MUST RECOGNIZE NOW THAT IT IS ‘YOUR WEAKNESS’ THAT IS THE ROOT OF ALL YOU PROBLEMS = YOU ARE ‘EASY’, ‘VUNERABLE’, ‘TRIVIAL’.

YOU ARE PASSIVE, YOU DON’T EVER DECIDE ANYTHING ONCE AND FOR ALL = FECKLESS.

YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT BEING ‘RUTHLESS’ FEELS LIKE, BUT BY THE TIME THIS POST IS OVER YOU WILL DO, TRUST ME. 

Yes, being a child as a GROWN UP is an ODD THING, a silly thing, a pointless thing, a powerless thing, yet ALL YOU SEE IS THE SUFFERING THAT COMES FROM THIS CHANGE of taking RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, as you must deny yourself all your CHILDISH FUN in order to mature, CAUSE YOU ARE THAT STUPID. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT GROWING UP MAKES YOUR LIFE BEARABLE ALL BY ITSELF, so you don’t need YOUR EMPTY CHILDISH COMFORTS to make it BEARABLE for a moment or 2, so your ‘GROW OUT OF THEM’ = AN ADULT STATE OF MIND IS BASED ON MANAGING ‘THE POWER OF RESPONSIBILITY’, A CHILDS STATE OF MIND IS BASED ON MANAGING ‘THE WEAKNESS OF ANXIETY’, so they are FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT, just as you will be when you GROW UP.

Obviously, here is no real harm in going through these PHASES WHEN YOU KNOW NO BETTER AS A KID, WHEN YOU STILL HAVE THE ENERGY LEVELS TO RECOVER YOURSELF, when you are AN ACTUAL CHILD – all very ‘Prince Hal’ I know – but YOUR JOURNEY to a GIFTED LIFE has to start with the recognition that they are ALL FORMS OF SELF SABOTAGE AS AN ADULT, which obviously ENDS IN ‘HUMILIATING’ SELF DESTRUCTION. Sadly, I doubt anyone is going to thrust the UNWANTED responsibility of RUNNING THE NATION and FIGHTING THE FRENCH on you out ‘of the blue’, so YOU are going to have to find another way of MOTIVATING YOURSELF TO DO ‘IT’ – WE HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY OF TAKING ‘THE PISS OUT OF YOU’, as a comedy ‘bag of tennis balls’ sent by the Dauphin to humiliate YOU in front of your COURT ain’t going to change little old you into the GOD KING who was HENRY V, is it…

So consider this as a starter for 10, TO HELP CLEAR YOU HEAD OF THE POINTLESS, TRIVIAL NOISE OF YOUR CURRENT EXISTENCE – do you not ALREADY find that your constant need to be ‘NAUGTHY’ IN ORDER TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A BIT MORE BEARABLE JUST ‘SADASS’ AS FUCK YET, A BIT PATHETIC, TRIVIAL, PETTY and well… just plain DELUSIONAL AT YOUR AGE? WHEN YOU LOOK BACK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE CAN YOU ACCEPT THAT IT WAS BASED ON A FELT, URGENT DELUSION THAT YOU DON’T EVEN BELIEVE NOW, SITTING HERE READING THIS, BECAUSE IT WAS ‘MOMENTARY PANG OF EMOTION’, WHICH PASSED, REALLY QUICKLY – THE SIGNATURE OF ALL MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL CONS = THEY ARE TRANSIENT. 

DO YOU SEE THAT NOTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT IS FIXED, PERMANENT, STABLE, ‘REAL’, PART OF ANYTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE ‘A CHARACTER’ = YOU SEE ITS ALL AN ‘ILLUSION IN THE MOMENT’ DESIGNED TO CONTROL YOU, THAT YOU DON’T WANT OR NEED, AND THAT WILL PASS IF YOU SIMPLY STAND AGAINST IT A FEW TIMES? 

So given the HORROR OF THAT REALIZATION, would you rather not BE a ‘Good’ Bad Bitch instead, a BETTER THAN, rather than continuing to roll with the trite, ‘EVERYDAY’ mediocrity of a ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’, of your ‘WORSE THAN’?  See when we have broken all this ‘kiddy’ crap down, ‘we’ can put all those pieces back MUCH STRONGER, REBUILD THAT FRAGILE ‘VASE’ of your ‘SENSE OF SELF’ with MOLTEN GOLD, like some expert in the Japanese ART OF ‘KINTSUGI’ fixing your CRACKS WITH PRECIOUS METAL, so you can then wear those SCARS with the HUMBLE PRIDE of ‘TRUE BEAUTY’, ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU HAVE EVER BEEN BEFORE – YOUR WEAKNESS TRANSFORMS INTO YOUR STRENGTH…

But maybe that is all a bit too Zen for little old you, lost in the FAKE world of FAKE LOVE (or THE RELIEF in any type of ANIMAL EMOTION) being ‘THE ANSWER’ to SOME OF YOUR SHIT OR OTHER, hence stuck in the tiny little existence defined by the COMFORT, OBLIVION AND CHEAP THRILLS of a CHILD, so lets cut to the chase shall we, AS ITS TIME TO GET THE BLOODY SLEDGE HAMMER OUT, BITCHES. Sorry, an all, but if you’re an egomaniac who gets offended easily like some FLAKEY coke whore, then best stop reading now I’d say – THIS STUFF IS GOING TO BITE YA, cause it HAS TO. See that YOU HAVE TO GET OVER TRYING TO BE ‘CLEVER’, of your ‘hookup codes’, of your ‘attention seeking’, of your ‘dog whistles’, of your fake self presentation/preservation that is ‘the social media mindset’, by SEEING WHAT A ‘CHILDS LEVEL OF ‘CLEVER’ MEANS:

A CHILD CONSTANTLY NEEDS EMOTIONAL COMFORT, SO A CHILDISH ADULT MAKES ‘FAKE COMFORT’ ITS GOAL.

SO YOU NEED ‘FAKE COMFORT’ AS ‘THE GOAL’ OF YOUR ‘STATE OF MIND’ BECAUSE YOU ARE ‘DESPERATE’, ALL THE FUCKING TIME…

WITHOUT THE DISTRACTION OF SOME OTHER SHORT-TERM GOAL BEING FORCED ON YOU, YOU ARE A LAZY, BORED, COMFORT-SEEKING FUCK UP…

TRY AND UNDERSTAND THIS VERY SIMPLY – WITHOUT AN ADULT SENSE OF SELF YOU SIMPLY CRAVE COMFORTING ‘NOTHINGNESS’ AS A ‘CHARACTER’.

SO YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER, YOU ARE A SET OF REACTIVE PATTERNS YOU JUST FOLLOW WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT WHATSOEVER = BASIC BITCH.

SHOULD YOU BE GIFTED THE ACTUAL CHARACTER YOU WERE BORN WITH IS COMPLETELY SUBMERGED UNDER THIS ACQUIRED, LOW-QUALITY B/S.

AND THERE IS NO SUBTLY IN THIS – YOU HAVE ‘NO INDIVIDUALITY’ AT ALL, YOU ARE A STEREOTYPE, ONE OF MILLIONS, AND IF YOU ‘STOP THINKING’ AUTOMATICALLY YOU THE CHILD DISAPPEARS, AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW YOURSELF ANYMORE, WHICH IS WHY ‘IT’ WON’T LET YOU STOP…

YES, GIFTED ‘OVER THINKING’ IS THE PRIMARY WAY A CHILD STOPS YOU CHANGING, PARTICUALRY WHEN IT SEES ANYTHING COMING THAT LOOKS LIKE ITS DOOM, ANYTHING THAT HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE YOU EXTERNALLY – IT MUST STEER YOU BACK TO YOUR HIGHWAY TO HELL TO SURVIVE.

SO IT’S REALLY USEFUL TO GET THIS NOW – YOU ARE NOT THINKING YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE MOMENT, THEY ARE RETRIEVED FROM THE MEMORY OF WHAT YOU USUALLY DO/SAY/FEEL IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS BY YOUR EMOTIONS, BURNT INTO YOUR UNCONSCIOUS, THE BACK OF YOUR MIND, AS A CHILD.

OVERTIME YOU BECOME TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS TO FEEL ANYTHING, AS YOU START TO SUFFER INCREASING LEVELS OF CONFUSION, ANXIETY UNTIL YOU TURN INTO SOME OLD ONE WHO NEEDS THE RADIO ON JUST TO EXIST, TO FEEL ALIVE BY THE THOUGHTS IT GENERATES, OTHERWISE THERE IS JUST THE BACKGROUND DREAD OF ‘EMPTINESS’, WHAT THEY CALL ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’.

BY ‘NOT THINKING’ I MEAN THE A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOGIC, A PROCESS OF DISCRIMINATION, AND QUESTIONING ‘THE FACTS’ AS POSSIBLY JUST ‘FAKE INSTINCTS,’ BEFORE YOU RECONSIDER AGAINST THE BIG PICTURE, AS ‘HOW YOU THINK’ (SPIRITUAL ‘DOUBT’), WHILST silly little YOU SIMPLY REPEATS A REVOLVING SEQ OF WORDS/FEELINGS ON AUTOPILOT, LIKE A CHILD CHANTING THE MULTIPLICATION TABLES IN ORDER TO REMEMBER THEM. THAT IS HOW THE NO CHARACTER OF A CHILD DEVELOPS – A SET OF ‘LEARNED FACTS’ THAT BECOMES YOUR ‘UNCONSCIOUS TRUTH’ = ‘NO CONSCIOUS THINKING’ = ‘NO CHARACTER’ = ‘UNCONSCIOUS CONTROL’.

SO THE CHARACTER YOU THINK YOU HAVE IS SIMPLY THE ‘AUTOMATIC PAROTTING’ OF OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS YOU HAVE COPIED, THERE IS NO THOUGHT, NO ‘PROCESS OF THINKING’ AT ALL BECAUSE THERE IS ‘NO YOU’ TO THINK, IT’S ALL JUST ‘EMOTIONALLY WEIGHTED MEMORISATION’, JUST EGO, THAT YOU HAVE LONG FORGOTTEN THE REASON FOR – WHY ITS CRUCIAL TO TAKE THE TIME TO FIND ‘YOUR BOTTLE’, AN ACTUAL ‘YOU’ TO THINK AGAINST THE ‘STEREOTYPICAL FALSE INSTINCT’S’ OF FAKE YOU, THE CHILD.

NOW THIS IS ALL VERY HARSH I KNOW, so take a moment to BURN THIS ‘TEACHER SECRET’ INTO YOUR MIND –

ALL THIS HARSHNESS TODAY IS MEANT TO ENERGIZE YOU BOTH ‘HARD’ AND ‘FAST’.

I have to GIFT YOU some temporary strength TO CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT WHO ARE THE HEROES AND THE VILLAINS IN YOUR SAD LITTLE LIFE, and so make you much STRONGER, NOW, TODAY, AS YOU READ THIS, AS OTHERWISE YOU THE CHILD WILL STOP YOU READING ANY FURTHER IN A MIN OR 2.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND – YOU ARE ALREADY TOO WEAK TO DO ANY OF THIS WITHOUT HELP?

SEE YOU ARE TOO BLOODY WEAK TO CHANGE IN YOUR CURRENT CONDITION, WHICH IS WHY YOU ALWAYS FAIL WHEN YOU TRY – NO ONE EVER FORCED YOU TO GROW UP DID THEY, YOU HAVE NO CLASS, SIMPLY BECAUSE WE HAVE NO CLASS SYSTEMS ANYMORE – YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT BEING STRONG MEANS, WHAT STRENGTH EVEN IS MENTALLY, do you – SO GET THIS: 

THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL PREMISE OF ALL CHANGE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL IS REJECTING WEAKNESS FOR STRENGTH AS A ‘CONSCIOUS CHOICE’.

YOU MUST ALWAYS CHOOSE STRENGTH IN ALL YOU DO, TOO ‘NEVER GIVE IN’, TO NEVER SURRENDER TO YOUR PETTY FEARS, AS THEY CYCLE AND BUILD IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND. 

So I’M NOT JUST BEING CRUEL TO BE KIND, NOT JUST SHOWING YOU ‘THE STREETS OF LONDON’ SPEECH – THIS IS ACTUALLY NESSECCARY, OK?

THE VAST MARJORITY OF GIFTED WHO NEVER GET TO KNOW THEMSELVES ARE DAMNED BY THEIR ‘WEAKNESS OF NO CHARACTER’, THE WEAKNESS OF COMFORT, OF THE PETTY PLEASURES OF A FARM YARD ANIMAL, BUT YOUR COMFORT JUST MEANS LESS ANXIETY, FOR A MOMENT, THEN MORE ANXIETY…

SO HERE IS YOUR FUNDAMENTAL ISSUE – YOU, AS A CHILDISH ADULT, ARE A ‘COWARD’.

BUT YOU DON’T SEE THAT, YOU THINK YOU ARE BRAVE, CLEVER, CUNNING, OFTEN IN THE WAYS YOU RUN TOWARD ‘YOUR DESIRES’, WHICH ARE IN FACT JUST KIDDY ‘COMFORTERS’, LIKE the ‘DUMMY’ TO ‘SUCK LIKE A BABY’.

SO LETS BE VERY PRACTICAL NOW AND MAKE THIS CLEAR IN AN EVERYDAY WAY:

TO RUN TOWARD YOUR PETTY DESIRES, AWAY FROM YOUR PETTY FEARS, AND ACCEPT YOUR PETTY BOREDOM = WEAKNESS = GUTLESS LITTLE KID.

TO RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PETTY DESIRES, TOWARD YOUR PETTY FEARS, AND REJECT YOUR PETTY BOREDOM = STRENGTH = A GIFTED ADULT.

WEAKNESS IS COWARDICE = EVER INCREASING ANXIETY = INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

STRENGTH IS COURAGE = EVER INCREASING CONFIDENCE = SUPERIORITY COMPLEX.

STRENGTH + ENERGY = ‘BOTTLE’ = THE ‘BRAVERY TO DO’ INSTEAD OF ‘JUST REACT’.

SO KNOW NOW – ANY PLEASURE TAKEN IN WEAKNESS IS A PERVERSION OF YOUR SOUL, A CANCER YOU ONCE ACCEPTED AS A CHILD AND TAUGHT YOURSELF TO MAKE THE BEST OF = YOU NORMALIZED IT, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD TO.

SO NOW YOU MUST ‘CHANGE YOUR MIND’ BY ACCEPTING THIS ONE VALUE, THIS ONE DESIRE, AS ALL THERE ‘IS’:

ABOVE ALL THINGS YOU DESIRE TO BE STRONG – YOUR NO 1 DESIRE IS TO FEEL YOUR ‘BOTTLE’.

BUT HOW CAN YOU DO THIS AS A WEAK, FECKLESS CHILD, WHO FAILS EVERYTHING BEFORE THEY EVEN BEGIN? EASY…

BURN INTO YOUR MIND THAT STRENGTH IS THE ‘ONLY TRUE COMFORT’ FOR ANXIETY AS AN ANIMAL.

THEN YOU CAN TRICK YOU THE CHILD INTO BUYING INTO THIS GOAL, LONG ENOUGH FOR IT TO START WORKING, AND YOU WILL SEE JUST HOW WEAK, EXHAUSTED AND ANXIOUS YOU ACTUALLY ARE – FEELING YOUR ‘SENSE OF BOTTLE’ MAKES YOU STRONGER.

YOU ‘DESIRE STRENGTH’ AS THE ULTIMATE ‘FORM OF RELIEF’ = OVERARCHING LIFE GOAL OF POWER.

AND YOU NOW ‘FEAR COMFORT’ AS THE ULTIMATE ‘FORM OF WEAKNESS’ = ARCH ENEMY OF ANXIETY.

IN TRUTH THIS IS YOUR VERY FIRST ‘BETTER THAN’, THE ONE THAT ENABLES ALL THE REST.

BUT TAKE ‘HEART’ – THERE IS NO NEED TO ‘GRIND THIS OUT’, NO NEED TO SUFFER FROM ‘YOU THE CHILDS’ SUFFERING, AS ITS NOT YOU IN THAT MOMENT OF OVERPOWERING IT, OTHERWISE YOU COULD NOT OVERPOWER IT – THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE THE SWITCH BETWEEN WHO YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS ‘FOLLOWS’, YOUR POWERFUL SPIRIT OR YOUR GUTLESS KID.

SEE THE ROOT OF YOUR BOTTLE IS YOUR SPIRIT, AND I CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO ‘BE SPIRITED’ IN ALL THINGS, EVEN AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, SO YOU FEEL SEPARATE TO THAT CHILDISH SUFFERING, YOU CAN REJECT ‘THE VALIDITY’ OF IT AS ‘FAKE, TRIVIAL’. INDEED, THAT ‘SPIRITNESS’ IS WHERE THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO DO THIS, COMBINED WITH YOUR MENTAL STRENGTH TO THINK DIFFERENTLY, PROPERLY, WILL COME FROM, QUICKLY AND EASILY.

THIS IS HOW ‘BOTTLE’, BY BOTH ITS ‘DEVELOPMENT AS A FEELING’ AND ITS ‘USE AGAINST YOU THE CHILD’, CAN COMBINE THE X2 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO GROW UP TOGETHER, RELATABLY, CONSCIOUSLY, THAT IS THE GENIUS OF IT.

KNOW THE ABILITY TO DEVELOP STRENGTH FAST COMES FROM CONSCIOUS ACTION AGAINST UNCONSCIOUS COMPULSION – THERE IS NO NEED TO BE A SUPERHERO DAY 1, THE FASTEST WAY TO DO THIS, AND SEVERAL OTHER VERY USEFUL THINGS, IS ‘TO ACT’ BY ‘NOT REACTING’ LIKE YOU USUALLY DO, INDEED TO NOT BOTHER REACTING ‘AT ALL’. THEN WE CAN GET YOUR TRAINING FREQEUNCY UP TO THE MEANINGFUL LEVEL OF REPETITION YOU NEED TO DO THIS, LIKE EVERYDAY, AS MUCH AS YOU CAN – REPLACE YOUR AUTOMATIC PATTERN RESPONSE WITH ‘DEAD AIR’, so ‘BE STILL, and KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE GOD OF YOU, THE BOSS OF YOU’, then JUST SMILE WITH YOUR HEART at poor little NAUGTHY YOU THE CHILD, until the urge goes away.

IF YOU LIKE, SAY TO YOURSELF, LEARN AS A MANTRA AND THEN ‘SPELL IT OUT’ SLOWLY WHENEVER YOU FEEL URGENTLY COMPELLED, EITHER EXTERNALLY OR INTERNALLY, AS FOR A CHILD INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL IS LARGELY THE SAME THING – ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOU’, THE CLEVER, TWATTY LITTLE KID USES ‘PROJECTION’ AGAINST YOU, YOU SIMPLY SEE YOU MINDSTATE WHEREVER YOU LOOK IN THE WORLD – 

‘YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME…

I AM WHO I CHOOSE TO BE…’

THEN DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR FUTURE, ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’, RATHER THAN YOUR NORMAL PATTERN REACTION – LET IT ‘FADE OUT’ AS IT IS YOU THE CHILD CHASING ‘YOUR DEATH’, CONSCIOUS YOU WANTS MORE THAN THAT TRASHY, STEREOTYPICAL EXISTENCE.

BE CLEAR – CONSCIOUS YOU DECIDES WHAT TO DO OUT OF THE DESIRE TO COMFORT ITSELF WITH STRENGTH-IN-THE-FUTURE, TWAT YOU THE CHILD DECIDES WHAT TO DO OUT OF THE DESIRE TO COMFORT ITSELF WITH WEAKNESS-IN-THE-NOW.

HOWEVER TRITE THIS SOUNDS REMEMBER YOU ARE TALKING TO YOU THE CHILD, YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MINDSTAE IS A BIG KID, SO KEEP IT SIMPLE.

It maybe useful to know that this is how gangsters teach their kids to not give the smallest fuck what your society or anyone else thinks of them, and IT VERY EFFECTIVE. See it is only your opinion of you that matters, as long as you REMEMBER TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT YOU, IN THE 3RD PERSON, INSTEAD OF CONTINUING TO BLANK YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND TO DE-VALUE YOUR ‘SHAME’ AND ‘FORGET’. IN REALITY, NATURALLY, YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS LITERALLY COMES FROM YOUR LEVEL ON ‘CONSCIENCE’, WHICH IS YET ANOTHER TEST YOU DID NOT EVEN KNOW EXISTED, UNTIL NOW… 

I KNOW MANY OF YOU MAY SPEND YOUR TIME IN BUSY ENVIROMENTS WHERE YOU HAVE TO ‘REACT VIA SPEECH’ ALL THE TIME, WHICH ALLOWS YOU THE KID TO TAKE YOU OVER VERY EASILY, SO LEARN TO USE THIS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, LIKE IN TRUTH YOU SHOULD LEARN TO USE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS AS SPURS TO PRACTICE. SIMPLY KEEP PART OF YOUR AWARENESS SEPARATE AND ‘LISTEN TO YOUR SPEECH’, LITERALLY AS YOU TALK, WITH A VIEW TO CRITIZING HOW GOOD, HOW USEFUL, HOW CLASSY, HOW LYRICAL, HOW LOW, SLOW AND SEXY IT IS, WHILST MAKING IT AS ELEGANT, ENGAGING, FUNNY, CHARMING AS YOU CAN. REMOVE ALL THOSE ERRS AND UMMS, ANY STEREOTYPICAL TICKS YOU PICKED UP AS A KID – NO ONE LIKES AN ADULT WHO TALKS LIKED A SCARED LITTLE KID, IT IS A KEY GIVE AWAY… 

See, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THE DUAL NATURE OF ‘HAVING BOTTLE’ as a CONCEPT RIGHT AT THE START OF THIS POST, as to conceptualize this understanding WILL HELP YOU DO THE 2 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO – MAKE YOU WANT TO ‘CHOOSE’ A DIFFERENT MINDSET GOAL OF STRENGTH and ALLOW YOU TO ‘DESTROY’ YOUR OLD ONE OF COMFORT. As a BIG KID all your pattern development since childhood is based on ONE SINGLE GOAL, ONE DRIVING FORCE = EVER INCREASING LEVELS OF ‘EGO SAFTEY’ BECAUSE IT IS THE NUMBER ONE FORM OF COMFORT – TO FEEL SECRETLY CLEVER, NO MATTER HOW FAKE, HOW DELUSIONAL EVEN YOU KNOW THAT FEELING IS, YET YOU STILL CRAVE IT, WHICH IS THE ACTUAL ROOT OF ALL YOUR SELF TAUGHT DELUSIONS, THE BIZARRE, UNREAL FANTASY LIFE YOU EMBRACE SIMPLY TO FEEL A BIT BETTER, FOR A MOMENT.

So all of your FALSE INSTINCTS are based on THE FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM MODEL, anything outside of that is PRESENTED TO YOUR MIND AS MADDNESS, AS SCARY, AS AGAINST YOUR NATURE, AS INAUTHENTIC, AS NOT COOL, AS BORING, BECAUSE IT IS ‘NOT SAFE’ FOR ‘YOU THE CHILD’, even though it is exactly what YOU THE GIFTED ADULT NEEDS TO DO, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, as that is how YOU KILL THAT AWFUL, CRAVEN, COWARDLY FAKE BITCH, ‘YOU THE CHILD’. Then all you Fake Shit evaporates, as its a CON JOB THAT HAS TO BE CONTINUALLY ‘MADE UP’ IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND BY THE UNCONSCIOUS, CHILDISH PATTERNS THAT CONTROL YOU – ITS SIGNATURE IS ‘VISCERAL DOUBT’.

This way YOU STOP MAKING THE CLASSIC MISTAKE OF ALL UNSCHOOLED HIGHLY GIFTED FOLKS – STOP SEEING YOUR INCREASING NEED TO RUN TOWARD INCREASINGLY DANGEROUS AND SELF DESTRUCTIVE VERSIONS OF YOUR ‘FAKE DESIRES’, as BADASS, as BRAVE, as some sort of ANTI-HEROIC COOL. Its not, YOU ARE A GUTLESS FUCK UP, AND IF YOU GO ON BEING A GUTLESS FUCK-UP, A CHILDISH ADULT, you may very well turn into the kind of SELF DESTRUCTIVE EVIL TWAT OF A NARCISSIST that is becoming increasingly common in this world, and I’m not joking – I almost did many years ago, and I know several who actually have done. Be clear – the answer to the increasingly pathetic ‘Choo Choo Train, a chuffing down the track to Banal Humiliation’ your riding on is BOTTLE.

The concept of it is easy really:

BY DEVELOPING AN ATTITUDE OF ‘STRENGTH IN ALL THINGS’ YOU PROGRESSIVELY WEAKEN YOUR ‘WEAKNESSES HOLD’ OVER YOU.

YOU ARE ACTUALLY WEAKENING ‘YOU THE CHILD = WEAKNESS ITSELF’, SO ONE DAY YOU CAN KILL IT, ONCE AND FOR ALL, BUT YOU CAN’T AT THE START.

SEE BOTTLE IS THE ALKALINE TO THE ACID OF WEAKNESS, SO MUST DILUTE THAT WEAKNESS BEFORE YOU REPLACE IT ALTOGETHER – YOU MUST FORCE YOUR STRENGTH, LITTLE BY LITTLE WHILST STILL FEELING WEAK OVERALL, SO YOU CAN BE STRONG ALL THE TIME LATER.

THAT IS WHY YOU MUST START TO FOCUS ON BEING STRONG AGAINST WEAKNESS IN SMALL, PREPLANNED, MOMENTARY THINGS, WHEN YOU CAN MUSTER A SHORT ENERGY PEAK TO ACTUALLY ‘TRY’ AND ‘DO’, or ‘NOT REACT’, AS THAT IS HOW DILUTING THE ‘POWER OF YOUR WEAKNESS’ WORKS.

THIS IS WHY DOING IT A LOT REALLY, REALLY MATTERS – AS YOU MUST STRING YOUR WINS TOGETHER IN ORDER TO LADDER UP, OTHERWISE YOU ACTUALLY LOSE THE BENEFIT OF THAT WIN, AND YOU FALL BACK DOWN AGAIN – YOUR NEW STRENGTH EVAPORATES UNLESS REGULARLY FED.  

I know its NOT SUBTLE but as a BIG KID any SUBTLY IS GOING TO BE WASTED ON YOU, you are stuck with the emotional level of A BRAT, IE THE EMOTIONAL MATURITY OF A ‘CLEVER DORK’, the obvious, banal need for ‘clever wins in the playground’, so the concept of WABI-SABI, of ‘IMPERFECT BEAUTY’ EVOKING A DEEP SENSE OF SPIRITUAL LONGING, is so far above your dumb ass it pointless even mentioning it – YOU THINK LIKE A CHILD, EFFECTED BY EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME, SO FRAGILE THAT YOU ARE OVERWHELMED BY THE NEED TO REACT TO ‘THE NOW’ OF ALL YOUR FALSE, TRIVIAL, UNRELIABLE, LEARNT INSTINCTS. See, you ‘the child’ LOVES THAT – IT ONLY EXISTS, AT ALL, ‘IN’ THOSE REACTIONS, WITHOUT THE CHILDISH SLAVERY TO THOSE REACTIONS ‘YOU THE CHILD’ SIMPLY ‘DISAPPEARS’, as it does not really exist in your LAW, your SPIRIT, ITS ALL FAKE, just like you..

Of course, the trick to an effective critique of yourself is to UNDERSTAND YOUR FAULTS, way better than you do now, MAINLY BY REALIZING YOU HAVE SOME BIG ONES – RECOGNIZE IN YOURSELF THAT YOU HAVE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE FAULTS YOU WISH TO FIX BECAUSE YOU ARE EMBARRISSED BY THEM:

See you must FIRST UNDERSTAND ‘THE’ CHILDISH TRAP – you’re just a DORK, NONE OF WHAT YOU THINK IS HAPPENING IS HAPPENING.

So NONE OF YOUR JUSTIFICATIONS for what YOU HAVE BECOME ARE TRUE, EVEN ‘REAL’, your LIFE IS A LAYERED SET OF ANTI-HEROIC ILLUSIONS…

SEE YOUR SECRET ‘CLEVERNESS’ IS A FORM OF DESPERATION, WEAKNESS, SICKNESS, BUT IN REALITY YOU ARE REALLY NOT CLEVER, ARE YOU..

TO BE A CHILD IS TO CHOOSE COMFORT OVER CHALLENGE BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK – A GUTLESS LOSER WHO CAN NEVER FACE DESTINY OR  ‘PURPOSE’.

SEE TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE STUCK IN A CYCLE OF ‘DESPERATION vs COMFORT’ THAT NEVER ENDS, A ‘PERFECT TRAP’ YOU CAN NEVER GET OUT OF BY YOURSELF, AS YOU CAN ONLY THINK WHAT YOU HAVE THOUGHT BEFORE, IN THE SAME SEQ YOU THOUGHT IT BEFORE = WEAKNESS TRAP!

SO ITS SIMPLE REALLY – TO GROW UP YOU NEED TO THINK NEW THOUGHTS YOU HAVE NOT THOUGHT BEFORE AND SO ACTUALLY START TO THINK PRODUCTIVELY, TO YOUR BENEFIT, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE NEW, THEY ARE FRESH, THERE IS NO PATTERN IN THEM, YET.

GET IT – IF THERE IS NO AUTOMATIC PATTERN TO YOUR THOUGHTS YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO THINK PROPERLY, THAT IS WHY YOU HATE DOING IT.

So lets see if you have the stones to grow, the fight to change, the ENERGY LEFT TO EVEN ‘WANT TO BE BETTER THAN NOTHING’ EH, SO BEST UNDERSTAND YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT-FUCKING-NOW, VERY SIMPLY PUT – what will happen if you don’t grow up:

YOUR STRENGTH, YOUR ‘POWER IN THE MOMENT’ THAT IS YOUR ‘USEABLE ENERGY LEVEL’ WILL CONTINUE TO DECLINE AND MAKE YOU PROGRESSIVELY LOW, LOST, SCARED, CONFUSED, INCAPACITATED AND STUPID BECAUSE OF THIS ONE FAILURE – ALL CHILDREN INDULGE IN SELF-SABOTAGE FOR FUN, BUT IT IS NOT FUN, IT IS ‘COMFORT’, IT IS THE COWARDLY NEED TO COMFORT YOURSELF FOR BEING A CRAVEN, TWATTY LITTLE KID ‘AT HEART’, AS YOU HAVE ‘NO BOTTLE’ TO FACE CHALLENGE, CHANGE, ADVENTURE ANYMORE.

SO YOU ‘HUMILIATE’ YOURSELF WHILE DELUDING YOURSELF THAT IT’S COOL TO BE ‘NOTHING’ BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE ‘BEARABLE’ IN THE NOW SOMEHOW, OTHERWISE YOUR ‘ACTUAL REALITY’ WOULD CRUSH YOU – THE SHOCK OF YOUR ‘REAL’, OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO, WHAT YOU THINK, WHAT YOU CRAVE ALL THE TIME WOULD BLOW YOUR LITTLE MIND APART, THAT IS WHY YOU CAN NEVER WILLINGLY ‘FACE IT’, THAT IS WHY BEING A CHILD IS A ‘TRAP’ – YOU COMFORT YOUR DESPERATION IN CHILDISH WAYS THAT MAKE YOU EVEN MORE DESPERATE = YOUR WHOLE LIFE… 

YEP – AS A BIG KID WHAT I HAVE JUST WRITTEN ABOVE DEFINES YOU WHOLE MISERABLE LITTLE EXISTENCE, yet YOU DON’T SEE THAT, DO YOU, YOU ARE STUCK ‘LIVING IT’, so you can’t see SHIT PASSED THE REACTIVE PATTERNS YOU PROJECT ONTO EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY, without a fucking SCOOBIE-DO WHAT ‘THAT IS’, OR WHO ‘THEY ARE’, in REALITY – AS A CHILD YOU PIGEON HOLE EVERYTHING AS ITS VAGUELY LIKE SOMETHING THAT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED TO YOU, SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS  TO YOU = YOUR CRAPPY LITTLE INCORRECT ‘TRUTH’ = DELUSION.

A CHILD IS DECEIVED BY EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY HAVE ‘NO SENSE OF SELF’. 

YES, to GROW UP you must REPLACE THIS DELUDED, MOMENTARY REALITY, the REALITY YOU ‘LIVE IN’ BY FIRST RELATING TO IT, AND THEN REPLACE IT WITH A PERMANENT ‘SENSE OF SELF’ THAT HAS NO NEED TO REACT, otherwise you will always be A SILLY, HARMLESS LITTLE TWAT, forever ‘wanking off’ OVER SOME CLEVER FANTASY LIFE YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IS REAL, stuck in the ‘secret cleverness’ of your (NOT SO) SECRET WORLD, with your ALL IMAGINARY FREINDS, FLUFFY TOYS, AND TAME, MIDDLE-CLASS OBSESSIONS…

AN ADULT IS NOT DECEIVED BY EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE BOTTLE TO FACE REALITY. 

THE CONSTANT EMOTIONAL FEELING OF A DOMINATE ‘SENSE OF SELF’ IS WHAT OPPOSES YOUR PETTY ‘REACTIONS OF THE MOMENT’, IT IS A FELT WEIGHT OF ‘SERVICE’ IN YOURSELF, TOWARD YOURSELF, IT IS AN ATTITUDE TO LIFE FROM WHICH EVERYTHING IS JUDGED, AS USEFUL OR USELESS. IT IS MADE OUT OF ‘THE SUPERIOR FEELING’ OF YOUR ‘BOTTLE’, BUILT AGAINST ‘THE INFERIOR FEELING’ OF PETTY, SHORT-LIVED ‘EMOTIONAL PANGS’, WHICH ONLY EXIST, RECUR AND GROW BECAUSE YOU SERVICE THEM, INDULGE THEM, LIKE A CRACKHEAD.

IT IS A QUESTION OF ‘FEELING’ THE ‘OVERALL’ VALUE OF THINGS IN THE MOMENT ‘CORRECTLY’, BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE WHAT THAT MEANS OUTSIDE OF THAT MOMENT, AS YOU REMEMBER ‘YOUR SENSE OF SELF’ WHICH EXISTS OUTSIDE OF THE NEEDS OF THE MOMENT, SEPARATE TO THEM, BIGGER THAN THEM, MORE POWERFUL THAN THOSE NEEDS, SO THOSE LEARNT, FAKE, CHILDISH NEEDS OF THE MOMENT CAN BE CRUSHED IT BY IT.

BUT IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND YOU ARE ‘NOT CHOOSING’ TO ‘NOT FOLLOW’ YOUR CHILDISH REACTIONS OUT OF FEAR OR REPRESSION, LIKE A GANGSTA WHO DOES NOT KILL A HATED RIVAL BECAUSE OF THE FACT IT WILL SWIFTLY LEAD TO THEIR OWN DEMISE, OR A PARTY GIRL WHO REFUSES THE NEXT VODKA SHOT BY IMAGINING THE HUMILIATION OF PAIN AND VOMIT IT WILL CAUSE, AS THEY WILL ONLY MAKE YOU EVEN MORE ‘WORSE THAN’.

YOU MUST STILL FEEL IT, ACCEPT IT, UNDERSTAND THOSE UNCONSCIOUS PANGS AND SIMPLY CHOOSE NOT TO FOLLOW THEM ‘IN THE MOMENT OF WANTING TO DO IT’, BECAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING BETTER THAN YOU WANT MORE ‘CONSCIOUSLY’, EVEN IF THAT IS JUST TO DEVELOP ‘THE POWER TO CHOOSE’ WHO YOU ACTUALLY ARE VIA FIRST CONTROLLING TRIVIAL THINGS, TO PRACTISE SELF CONSCIOUSNESS IN LOW LEVEL EMOTIONAL WIEGHTED THINGS SO IT IS WAY EASIER = SELF RESPECT.

THEN THOSE PANGS WILL START TO DIE AWAY, TO DISAPPEAR LIKE A FORGOTTEN FANTASY, AND YOU WILL SEE THAT 90% OF WHO YOU ARE AS ‘HOW YOU ACT’ VIA WHAT YOU ‘WANT TO DO’ IN THE MOMENT DOES NOT EXACTLY EXIST ‘AS YOU’ AT ALL – IT IS NOT CONSCIOUS YOU, ITS LITTLE MORE THAN SELF DRIVING CAR, SO IT IS JUST A SET OF HABITUAL, BITSY, CLUMSY, STEREOTYPICAL REACTIONS, PATTERN ‘SAYINGS’ YOU LEARNT IN CHILDHOOD THAT DON’T EVEN WORK TOGETHER, THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER CONSCIOUS OF DOING, AND HAVE LONG SINCE FORGOTTEN THE REASON FOR = DUMB.

SEE IT NOW AS BEST YOU CAN – YOUR CONSCIOUS ‘SELF’ IS A FALSE IMPRESSION CREATED BY AUTOMATED RESPONSES, BUT YOU ARE NOT THINKING SELF CONSCIOUSLY, THE LITTLE SELF CONSCIOUSNESS YOU HAVE IS EMPLOYED IN WATCHING YOUR REACTIONS, YOU DON’T USE IT TO THINK, AT ALL… 

THIS REQUIRES PRACTISE AND SOME CLEVER TRICKS IN LATER LIFE, SO YOU MUST START TO ‘CONNECT YOUR MOMENTS TOGETHER’, PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE BY FEELING YOUR SENSE OF SELF IN THESE 3 TIMESCALES AT THE SAMETIME, USING YOUR EXPANDED AWARENESS OF YOUR SPIRIT AS A FEELING, AS YOUR ‘1 JOB’. USE YOUR OVER THINKING TO FEEL (NOT THINK) AND CONSTANTLY REMIND YOURSELF TO EVOKE THE FEELING OF YOUR BOTTLE THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO THE MOMENT SO IT IS ‘FIXED’, SOLID, THERE ALL THE TIME AS YOUR ANCHOR, SO YOUR MOMENTS SPREAD OUT, YOUR EXPERIENCE OF YOUR SENSE OF SELF BECOMING MUCH LONGER IN TIME, MORE FIXED, STABLE – YOU ARE NOT JUST THIS MOMENT, YOU ARE YESTERDAY/TODAY/TOMORROW ALL AT THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING TIME.

THE EASIEST WAY TO DO THIS IS SIMPLY REMEMBER THE POINT, THE GOAL, THE PURPOSE OF WHAT YOU ARE ‘AIMING FOR’ IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME, PUT ENOUGH EMOTIONAL WEIGHT INTO THAT PURPOSE SO IT CAN STAND AGAINST THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT OF YOUR TRIVIAL, SELF DESTRUCTIVE PANGS.

AGAIN – IF YOU DON’T HAVE A GREATER PURPOSE, AN OVERARCHING AIM THEN YOU HAVE THE PURPOSE OF ‘NO PURPOSE’, WHICH IS TO CHASE COMFORT, DISTRACTING NAUGTHINESS, THEN LATER OBLIVION, ACTUAL SELF SABOTAGE, BANAL SELF DESTRUCTION – without this solid sense of purpose you are simply a trivial little bitch stringing together as many COMFORTS as you can all day every day, which is what we mean when we say you JUST EXIST, RATHER THAN ‘LIVE’.

LEARN TO DO THIS AND YOU WILL GROW UP WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT, AS ALL YOUR THOUGHTS, WHICH PROCEED FROM YOUR PETTY FEELINGS AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, WILL CHANGE, AND YOU WILL START TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING ‘OVER TIME’, RATHER THAN JUST IN THIS MOMENT, AND YOU WILL FIND YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE CLASS, STYLE AND PRESENCE YOU ALREADY CRAVE SO MUCH – THE DELUSIONS OF YOUR TACKY LITTLE SHIT BEING COOL WILL EVAPORATE…

SADLY, HOWEVER EASY I MAKE THIS FOR YOU, YOU WILL STILL NEED ‘THE ENERGY LEVELS OF A CHILD’ TO DO IT, AS A GIFTED CHILD CAN NEVER USE WHAT THEY HAVE UP IN ANY GIVEN DAY, BUT ONCE YOUR AGE STARTS WITH A 3 AS A HEDONIST YOU WILL HAVE LIKLEY USED NOT ONLY WHAT YOU HAVE, BUT AFTER A PARTICUARLY BAD W/E EVERYTHING YOU WOULD OF HAD FOR A YEAR OR MORE = KARMIC ENERGY DEBT = FORMS OF DEPRESSION.

SO WE MUST GET YOUR ENERGY TO ‘LEAD’ RATHER THAN JUST ‘FOLLOW’ YOUR REACTIONS LIKE YOU DO NOW, AND YOU MUST FIND THAT ENERGY IN YOUR ‘LAW OF THE JUNGLE’, YOUR BETTER THAN, WHICH IS YOUR ‘ELITISM’, THE EASIEST ACCESS YOU HAVE TO YOUR SPIRITUAL POWER AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOT ‘THEM’, YOU ARE ‘US’, AND START TO TREAT THEM AS WHAT THEY ARE – ANIMALS THAT ARE BENEATH YOU.

BUT I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE YOU ‘FEEL A BIT BETTER’, EVEN MAKE YOU A BETTER HEDONIST, MUCH AS BOTH THOSE THINGS WILL HAPPEN, I’M HERE TO CHANGE YOU, OTHERWISE YOU WILL END UP USING SOME LIMITED, ALMOST ACCIDENTAL EXPERIENCE OF SPIRITUALITY TO DESTROY YOURSELF, LIKE SOME OF YOU ARE NOW, AND TRUST ME, THAT IS NO FUN AT ALL – THE HIGHLY GIFTED MUST ‘GROW’ OR BURN OUT.

ITS TIME TO GET A BIT (WELL ‘A LOT’) ‘MEANER’ WITH YOURSELF IN THE 3RD PERSON, NOT THE 1ST PERSON, SO YOU GET MEAN WITH UNCONSCIOUS ‘YOU THE CHILD’, YOU ‘DON’T HATE CONSCIOUS YOU AS ALL OF YOU’, ‘CAUSE ITS NOT, ITS OTHER.

SO USE WHATEVER YOU HAVE LEFT NOW TO BUILD MORE ENERGY YOU NEED TO GROW UP, INSTEAD OF PISS IT AWAY AGAIN FOR THE MOMENTARY PLEASURE OF FEELING IT GO LIKE A BASIC BITCH,

OTHERWISE YOU HAVE NOT GOT A FUCKING PRAYER OF EVEN PAYING OFF WHAT YOU ALREADY OWE, LET ALONE WHAT YOU NEED = ADHD, EARLY MADNESS AND PAINFUL DEATH.

IF ALL THAT SOUNDS A BIT RIGHT-WING FOR WOKE LITTLE YOU, KNOW THAT IS BECAUSE IT IS, WHILST ALSO SEEING ‘THE TRUTH’, THAT EVERY CLASS SYSTEM THAT HAS EVER BEEN ON THIS PLANET IS TRYING TO TELL YOU = THE PRICE OF THE FEELING OF ELITISM IS TO ‘BE OF SERVICE’, VOLUNTARILY TO THOSE LESS THAN, FOR NO REASON OR EXPECTATION OF BENEFIT.

INDEED WHEN YOU START TO FEEL SPIRITUALLY ELITIST YOU WILL BE COMPELLED EMOTIONALLY TO BE OF SERVICE BECAUSE EXERCISING THE POWER OF YOUR ELITISM FEELS BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE, PARTICULARLY TO YOUR OWN KIND, RATHER THAN CONTINUE TO INDULGE ‘THE SLAVERY’ OF YOUR CURRENT EXISTENCE – YOU WILL FEEL YOUR POWER GROW VIA USING IT TO HELP OTHERS WORTHY OF THAT HELP, YOUR POWER TO CHOOSE.

BUT FOR NOW THAT IS ‘OUT OF REACH’ – FOR NOW YOU MUST FOCUS ON REMEMBERING WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ENTHUSIASTIC, TO HAVE A ‘LUST FOR LIFE’, TO HAVE THE ENERGY LEVELS OF A KID, AND ESCAPE ‘THE FEAR’, THE AWFUL DRUDGERY OF THE FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM CYCLE WHERE ALL YOU CAN DO IS REACT LIKE ONE OF PAVLOVS DOGS – YOU ARE GOING TO NEED THAT ENERGY TO DO THIS, OTHERWISE NOTHING WILL HAPPEN..

ITS WORTH REMEMBERING THIS – TO DO ANYTHING SPIRITUALLY AT A MEANINGFUL LEVEL OF EFFORT WHILST STILL BEING STUCK AS AN ANIMAL (SO IT WORKS) YOU MUST BE IN A STATE OF CONTROLLED, HIGH EMOTION, OTHERWISE YOU ARE SIMPLY GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF ANOTHER PATTERN REACTION, LOST IN YET ANOTHER DAZE SENT BY YOUR ‘CONFUSED SENSE OF SELF’ = A CHILD. 

YES – TO ‘CHANGE’ IS TO ‘GROW’, OTHERWISE EVERYTHING YOU ARE MOMENT TO MOMENT IS ‘TRIVIAL’, YET YOU TREAT IT LIKE ITS IMPORTANT. READ THAT AGAIN, THEN READ IT AGAIN – LOOK AT WHAT YOU OVER REACT TO EVERY DAY AND ‘KNOW’ THIS MAKES YOU ‘TRIVIAL’, SO YOU ARE ‘HARMLESS’.

BUT WHEN YOU HAVE ‘BOTTLE’, YOU WILL START TO SEE THE OBVIOUSNESS OF ALL THE LITTLE CONS AND CLEVERNESS USED TO CONTROL YOU IN THE ‘PETTY’ MOMENT, AGAINST THE TIME AND SCALE OF ‘THE YOU’ THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE OF THAT MOMENT – THAT LOOKS DOWN ON THAT MOMENT AS ‘NOTHING’. SEE YOU THE ADULT NOW HAS ‘THE BOTTLE’, ‘THE HEART’ TO SEE THOSE TRIVIAL EMOTIONS AS ‘NOT YOU’ AND THEREFORE ‘NOT WANTED’, WHEN THEY HAPPEN, AND SO FIND IT QUITE EASY NOT TO REACT TO THEM LIKE A SILLY, FECKLESS, UGLY, STUPID, TEDIOUS LITTLE STREET URCHIN…

SO HERE IS A NEW PATTERN FOR YOU, ONE YOU NEED TO PRACTICE SO YOU LEARN IT, FAST…

TRY AND TAKE A SECOND NOW TO UNDERSTAND WHAT GROWING UP, WHAT ‘RECREATING YOURSELF’ MEANS PRACTICALLY AND START TO PREPARE THIS PROCESS IN ADVANCE OF NEEDING IT IN THE MOMENT, BECAUSE IN THE MOMENT YOU CANNOT ‘THINK STRAIGHT’. 

TRY AND SEE THIS PROCESS AS THE ‘CONSCIOUS CHOICE’ BETWEEN ‘WHAT YOU WANT’ AND WHAT ‘YOU DON’T WANT’ IN ‘YOURSELF’ AS A PATTERN REACTION, TO QUESTION THE WISDOM, THE GOAL, THE POINT OF YOUR URGES IN TERMS OF WHAT ‘HAPPENS BECAUSE OF THEM AFTERWARDS BEING WEAKNESS’, AND SO AVOIDING THAT FAILURE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR ‘NEED TO DO THEM’ IN THE MOMENT OF FEELING THEM…

TRY AND GET USED TO QUESTIONING THAT ‘URGE’ CONSCIOUSLY, OF NOT ACCEPTING IT AS USEFUL OR GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE, HOWEVER UN-NATURAL THAT FEELS, TRY AND HAVE SOME DISCRIMINATION, OUTSIDE OF YOUR CHILDISH FEAR, TO ‘CONTROL YOURSELF AGAINST’, SO YOUR ‘IMAGE OF YOURSELF’ GROWS AGAINST YOUR MOOD SWINGS OF THE MOMENT – YOUR SELF IMAGE IS BUILT BY THIS ‘PROCESS OF REJECTION’.

THEN START TO MAKE THIS CHOICE, TO CONSCIOUSLY RECOGNIZE IN WHAT YOU JUST DID, IN WHAT YOU ‘FELT’ YOU WANTED TO DO IN THE MOMENT AGAINST WHAT YOU ‘BELIEVE’ YOU DON’T WANT ANYMORE, SEE WHAT YOU WOULD WISH TO CUT OUT OF YOURSELF SO YOU NO LONGER DO IT.

THEN SIMPLY WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN SO YOU CAN MAKE A POINT OF OVERIDING IT, EVEN MANUFACTURE THAT FAKE FEELING IN ORDER TO OVERIDE IT IN SIMPLE, POINTLESS THINGS, SO YOU CAN GET USED TO OVERIDING THOSE FEELINGS, LITTLE BY LITTLE, AS THAT IS WHAT AN ADULT ‘IS’.

THEN USE THIS KNOWLEDGE TO ‘SEE IT COMING’, TO SENSE THE X2 ILLUSIONS THAT IT USES TO CONTROL YOU THOUGHTLESSLY – THE SHARP URGE TO ACT ‘URGENTLY/AUTOMATICALLY’ AND THE SLOW ‘GRIND OF RESISTANCE’ THAT IS BOREDOM WITH A GOAL YOU WANT –

THOSE TWATTY, CHILDISH FEELINGS DON’T EXIST IN ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’, THEY ARE SENT TO FUCK YOU BY ‘TWAT YOU THE CHILD’…

AND YES, ACCEPT YOUR FAILURE TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING THE 1ST TIME, OR THE 10TH TIME OR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, AND SIMPLY SMILE AND TRY AGAIN, STRAIGHTAWAY IF POSSIBLE AS YOUR ‘EMOTIONS OF WILL BE UP’ THEN, BECAUSE YOU NOW REALIZE IT IS THE SIMPLE REPETITION OF MISTAKES THAT HAS FUCKED YOU UP IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX IT – TO TRY IN THE FACE OF FAILURE IS THE ONLY WAY TO WIN.

BE CLEAR – IT IS SIMPLY THE ABILITY TO KEEP TRYING IN THE FACE OF FAILURE THAT DEVELOPS THE UNCONSCIOUS POWER YOU NEED TO WIN ONE DAY – FAILURE IS YOUR FRIEND. BUT YOU MUST BE OPTIMISTIC IN THE FACE OF FAILURE, SO USE THE ‘ONE DAY ATTITUDE’ AND LEARN TO ENJOY IT, TO LEARN FROM EACH FAILURE AS THAT IS WHERE YOUR GIFT WILL HELP YOU ‘SEE’, ‘TO DREAM’ WHAT APPEARS TO YOU RIGHT NOW AS THE ‘IMPOSSIBLE DREAM’, BECAUSE IT IS ONLY IMPOSSIBLE AT THE MOMENT AS YOU LACK THE POWER TO ‘SEE’ HOW TO DO IT, EASILY…   

YES, THE RECOGNITION OF FAILURE WITHOUT GIVING INTO IT IS A FORM OF ‘MAGIC’ IN THE GIFTED, AS LONG AS YOU DON’T STOP YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BREAK IT. YOUR CHILDS PRINCIPAL WEAPON IS TO SIMPLY WEAR YOU DOWN, SEE YOU THE CHILD AIN’T EVEN THAT BLOODY CLEVER, JUST WATCH IT SCREAM AT YOU WITH MORE OF THE SAME WHEN YOU START TO SUCCEED IN DENYING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME, HOW OBVIOUS IT BECOMES, WATCH IT KICK OFF LIKE A SPLOIT, HATEFUL LITTLE BRAT, AND LAUGH, BECAUSE YOU JUST HURT IT, AND THAT MEANS ONE DAY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO KILL IT, AND SO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE – ITS FAILURE TO STOP YOU TRYING IS THE CONTINUED GROWTH OF YOUR POWER OVER YOURSELF = MAGIC.

IN THIS WAY YOU WILL COME TO REALIZE THE STUPIDITY OF JUST ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE NOW ‘ACCIDENTALLY’ AS SOME FINAL THING, AS INEVITABLE, AS GOOD, AS AUTHENTIC, BECAUSE THAT IS ALL TOTAL BOLLOCKS – WHO YOU ARE NOW IS JUST A TRIVIAL CHILD WHO NEVER GREW UP, SO IS STUCK WITH THE APPROXIMATE PATTERNS OF CHILDHOOD, AN UN-NATURAL CREATION OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT – YOU ARE ‘A RANDOM FREAK’ WHO BELIEVES THEY HAVE A PERSONALITY, THAT YOU ARE GOOD AND WORST OF ALL BELIEVES YOU ARE JUSTIFIED IN ALL YOUR PETTY, COMFORTING SHIT.

DECIDE, OVER TIME, TO BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, LITTLE BY LITTLE, BECAUSE THIS IS THE ROOT, THE ANCHOR OF YOU THE ADULT, WHICH SHOULD YOU EVER HAVE THE BALLS TO DEVELOP YOURSELF WILL BECOME THE ROOT OF YOUR ELITISM, YOUR ATTITUDE OF BEING ‘BETTER THAN THIS MOMENT’, ‘YOUR SUPERIORITY TO THE MOMENT’ AGAINST ‘THE INFERIORITY TO THE MOMENT’ COMPLEX OF WHAT YOU WHERE AS A KID, WHEN YOU HAD TO DO AS YOU WERE TOLD IN ORDER TO SURVIVE, SO NOW YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT APPROACH AS ‘ALL THERE IS’ – SLAVERY TO THE PATTERNS OF CHILDHOOD, THE SENSATIONS, THE THOUGHTS AND TRANSIENT EMOTIONAL ‘MEANINGS’ YOU ‘GUESSED AT’ AS A CHILD….

SEE, IF YOU LET IT, UNCONSCIOUS ‘YOU THE CHILD’ WILL SIT AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND, JABBING AT YOUR CONTROLS LIKE YOU ARE A PLASTIC TOY, WITH LITTLE CARE OR INTEREST OUTSIDE OF THE NEED TO RELEASE THE TENSION OF PLEASURE AGAINST DESIRE, OF COMFORT AGAINST FEAR, OF AMUSEMENT AGAINST BOREDOM. INDEED, IT CAN COME AS QUITE A SHOCK TO SEE WHAT A BANAL, TEMPORARY THING ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS – YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER AT ALL, YOU ARE SIMPLY YOUR REACTIONS TO THE MOMENT, IN A NEVER ENDING STREAM OF REPETATIVE POINTLESS SHITE IT INVENTS IN ORDER TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY, WHEN IT SHOULD ALREADY BE LONG DEAD…

Yes, without this ‘OTHER FEELING’ YOU THE CHILD simply becomes ‘TRIVIAL’ – YOU WANT TRIVIAL THINGS, YOU FEAR TRIVIAL THINGS, YOU THINK TRIVIAL THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS, SENSATIONS, BECAUSE THAT IS ALL YOU KNOW – YOU ARE A SMALL, WEAK ‘POINTLESS LITTLE THING’ who believes living in the MOMENT means reacting to ALL YOUR MEANINGLESS MOMENTS EQUALLY, WITHOUT DISCRIMINATION OR SCALE, with no plan at all. All you ever notice is what causes a learned pattern reaction in you, EVEN THOUGH IT IS A TOTALLY MEANINGLESS, OUT OF CONTEXT REACTION BURNT INTO YOU THE CHILD, as that is ‘HOW THE MIND OF A CHILD’ WORKS – YOU’RE A ‘VICTIM’ OF ‘EXPERIENCE’…

See if you don’t grow up YOU ARE DOOMED TO SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON SOME SCALE OF NARCISSISM, as that is what a CHILD ‘IS’ – SELF-OBSESSED – as YOU HAVE NEVER made a POINT OF CHANGING THE MINDSET OF A CHILD HAVE YOU, so it is still right there, where it always was, sitting quietly in the background, long ‘forgotten’, controlling you, MAKING ‘YOU’ FORGET ‘YOURSELF’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME, whenever something ‘else’ happens.

WORSE, MUCH, MUCH WORSE is that nothing happens naturally anymore, EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS CONTROLLED BY FALSE PETTY EMOTIONS THAT YOU HAVE TO CHASE OR RUN AWAY FROM, so everything becomes DISTORTED, KINKED, FETISHZISED AS ‘NORMAL’. You pour huge amounts of time and ENERGY INTO GROWING THESE KINKS IN ‘YOU THE CHILDS’ BEHAVIOUR PATTERNS, SO THEY GET BIGGER AND YOU GET SMALLER, THIS ‘FALSE YOU’ OVERWHELMS YOU UNLESS YOUR FEAR IS STRONG ENOUGH, indeed in many unschooled gifted THESE KINKS becomes the reason they bother living, their secret FANTASY life SAVES THIER EGO FROM HAVING TO FACE THE INCOMPETENCE AND FAILURE OF THEIR ACTUAL LIFE = MIDDLE-CLASS STONER/COKE HEAD/FANTASIST…

OVERTIME THIS UN-NATURAL GROWTH ‘ON YOU’ BECOMES ALL YOU ARE, A ‘FREAK OF NATURE’, doomed to repeat itself until it is exhausted and dies, FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN IT NEVER GREW THE FUCK UP WHEN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO, so good things no longer happen to you, BECAUSE YOU RUN AWAY FROM THEM, AS YOU LUCK HAS ‘GONE BAD’. Then you start to find all idea of HELP ‘FUNNY’, all idea of DEVELOPMENT ‘FUNNY’, so all ‘BETTER THAN’ is a reason to ‘snigger’ in some dark little corner like a gutless, fake ‘sadass’, blissfully unware that YOU THE CHILD is actually laughing at ‘YOU’, as you have become its FUCK PUPPET, and IT has become AN OVER CONFIDENT MONSTER, forever goading you to GET WORSE, as that would be SOOOO COOOOOOOOOL, to see what you are dumb enough to do next, AS CONSCIOUS YOU HAS NO BLOODY IDEA WHY YOU ARE DOING IT, but still you do it anyway, LIKE A PRISON GUARD AT AUSCHWITZ…

BUT THE LIFE OF AN ADULT IS A ‘QUESTION OF SCALE’, OF DEVALUING ALL THOSE MINOR, TEMPORARY, AND FORGETTABLE PETTY RELIEFS, IN ORDER TO HAVE THE BIG, POWERFUL AND PERMANENT EXCITEMENTS OF A GROWN UP, WHO ‘KNOWS HOW TO CHANGE’, HOW TO MAKE ‘UNCONSCIOUS YOU THE CHILD’ ‘SERVE YOUR GREATER SELF’ IN THE MOMENT, AS IF THAT FUTURE YOU EXISTS NOW IN THE 3RD PERSON, AND SO CREATE ‘YOU THE ADULT’ AS ‘THE SOMETHING’ THAT CAN CHANGE.

YES – To GROW UP SPIRITUALITY IS MUCH, MUCH QUICKER IF YOU ‘IDOLIZE’ YOUR FUTURE SELF AS A ‘WORK IN PROCESS’, RATHER THAN JUST ‘HATE YOU THE CHILD’ AFTER SOME FAILURE – ITS A MUCH BETTER ‘ATTITUDE’ TOWARD FOCUSING YOUR ‘ATTENTION’, as the trivial suffering you currently associate with denying you trivial emotions IS ‘PETTY’, SO YOU WILL ‘FEEL PETTY’, AND SO THAT ‘SELF CREATED SUFFERING’ PASSES MUCH QUICKER, AND COMES BACK MUCH WEAKER NEXT TIME…

YES, EVERY CHILD IN THE WORLD SUFFERS FROM SOME DEGREE OF ‘ADHD’, of very poor ‘ATTENTION MANAGEMENT’ (the unschooled GIFTED dis-ease of choice), which gets worse and worse as the years pass, until its reflection starts to dominate your UNCONTROLLED MOOD SWINGS, because A CHILDS mind ‘wanders’ TOWARDS ‘DRAMA’ – YOU THE CHILD LOVES YOUR EXTREMES, TO THE POINT IT WILL MAKE THEM APPEAR TO HAPPEN ‘OUT OF THE BLUE’. You the child has NO CONCEPT OF GRAND STYLE OF CHARACTER, OF ‘SERVICE’, OF ‘TOMORROW’, OF ‘BETTER THAN’, SO IT SIMPLY SEEKS ‘PETTY GRATIFICATION IN THE NOW’, like a dog that HAS TO ‘BARK AT PASSING CARS’ for no reason other than it WANTS TO, so it can ‘RELEASE’ THE PETTY TENSION OF PETTY EXCITEMENT. 

Yes, a CHILD SEEKS EMOTIONAL GRATIFICATION IN THE MOST BASIC SENSE, AND WILL TAKE IT ANYWHERE IT CAN GET IT, even in ‘PAIN’, JUST AS LONG AS IT FEELS ‘SOMETHING’, NOW, and YOU are not even aware of it anymore, as those trivial needs are TOTALLY UNCONSCIOUS. Indeed, they are often MANUFACTURED BY YOUR INCREASING LEVEL OF ‘OVERTHINKING’, before full-blown ‘ENERGY WEAKNESS’ TAKES HOLD LATER ON, when you start to DISAPPEAR, AS THE ENERGY TO ‘STAND AGAINST YOURSELF’ IS GONE, used up by all your pointless crap/fun/drama/pain/comforts – BY ‘NOTHINGNESS’. YOU SELL YOUR SOUL FOR NOTHING BECAUSE YOU THINK IT FEELS BETTER THAN A MOMENT AGO, BUT YET HOW DO YOU FEEL AFTERWARDS EH, AFTER THAT ‘TEMPORARY NOTHING’ THAT MADE YOU FEEL SOME ‘LITTLE SOMETHING’ FOR A SEC OR 2 IS GONE, EH..? = ITS A CON YOU MORON.

Yes, in this way YOUR LIFE JUST ‘HAPPENS TO YOU’, as you ‘SERVICE’ those unbidden excitements, fears and boredoms with your pattern reactions, SO YOU BECOME ‘LAZY’ – you not only lose any ability to ‘stand against yourself’, even the very idea of doing so sounds like MADNESS because your ‘MADNESS OF A CHILD’ HAS BECOME ‘YOUR NORMAL’ – YOU SIMPLY DON’T KNOW ANY OTHER MIND STATE EXISTS, DO YOU. Worst of all the only reason this happens is that you are CONSTANTLY OVERWHELMED BY PETTY EMOTIONS THAT CAUSE YOU TO REACT URGENTLY AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT, AND DO PETTY SELF DESTRUCTIVE CRAP, over and over again BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF SELF, NO FELT WEIGHT OF ‘RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR SELF’ TO ‘OPPOSE IT’, and simply ‘laugh it off’ as that petty feeling shrivels and dies away when ‘unserviced’, LIKE GROWN UPS DO.

Yes, much as you may imbibe the large amounts of nicotine that is the only known treatment for ADHD from an early age ‘intuitively’ (the GROWN UP seekers drug of choice), you WILL STILL ACTUALLY HAVE TO GROW UP AS WELL, if you don’t want that SELF-OBSESSION TO DESTROY ALL YOUR POTENTIAL by the simple mechanism of ‘delusion’ – ALL YOUR FEELINGS = THOUGHTS = DECISIONS ARE BASED ON FALSE INSTINCTS, ACQUIRED IN CHILDHOOD, that are at best ‘APPROXIMATE’, and more usually at worst simply ‘NOT YOU’, which means ‘WRONG FOR YOU’. Often, in the UNSCHOOLED HIGHLY GIFTED, they are the EXACT OPPOSITE OF REAL YOU, as YOU THE CHILD seeks to destroy what is BEST IN YOU AS QUICKLY AND COMPLETELY AS POSSIBLE, BECAUSE THE VERY EXISTENCE OF YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’ THREATENS ‘YOU THE CHILD’ WITH DEATH, by removing its ‘FAKE AUTHENTICITY’…

Yes, to a greater or lesser degree, all day every day, YOU THINK YOU ARE THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE BY BELIEVING EVERYTHING YOU FEEL IS ‘CORRECT’, REAL, so everything that you think happens is PERSONAL – THAT IT SEEMS LIKE it is ‘HAPPENING TO YOU’ BY CREATING ‘A REACTION IN YOU’ VIA FALSE INSTINCT, INSTEAD OF JUST ‘HAPPENING FOR ITSELF’, WHILE YOU JUST NOTICE IT AND MOVE ON. These reactions give everything A FALSE SENSE OF IMPORTANCE, particularly when these REACTIONS DOMINATE YOUR ‘SENSE OF YOUR SELF’, your ‘VALUE’, as they make your ‘MENTAL LIFE’ A MOMENTARY EXPERIENCE OF ONE REACTION AFTER ANOTHER, so you forget yourself, FORGET THE SENSE OF YOURSELF TO SUCH A DEGREE YOU DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE ONE, do you, BECAUSE YOU ARE STILL A CHILD – A FOOL WHO BELIEVES ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS ‘BEST’, INSTEAD OF SEEING THE SELF SABOTAGING MADNESS IN THE SILLY LITTLE BITCH, and 2nd guessing her REACTIONS every time something YOU FEEL is ‘URGENT’…

And that’s a bad thing, a delusional thing, see the Universe does not give the smallest fuck about you – YOU ARE AN INSIGNIFICANT INSECT AMONGST MANY BILLIONS OF OTHER INSECTS LIVING OUT A VERY SHORT LIFE ON THE CRUST OF A ROCK IN A PARTICULARLY QUIET CORNER OF ‘SPACE’. But you just see the 5m2 you are standing in like its all that is important NOW, as you jump from one relative moment of ‘right now’ to the next one, before circling back to the first one again, IN A CONTINOUS SEQUENCE OF ‘STOPPED MOMENTS’, 99% OF WHICH DON’T MATTER A DAMN. BUT YOU GIVE THEM ALL THE SAME LEVEL OF ALL YOUR ‘PRECIOUS’ ATTENTION SO ‘YOU THE CHILD’ CAN ‘TRIGGER ITS REACTIONS’ TO THESE TRIVIAL MOMENTS, AS THOSE REACTIONS ARE WHAT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS ‘MADE OF’, as there is NOTHING ELSE SUBSTANTIAL OR PERMANENT IN ‘YOU’…

Be clear – YOU TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY BY LETTING ‘TRIVIAL EMOTIONS TRIGGER YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS’, even though you don’t want to, and often barely notice, but they still constantly weaken you via that forced reaction – these reactions force you to continually focus on one tiny thing after another, so YOUR MIND CONSTANTLY ‘STOPS’. You are a little crab in a rock pool at low tide, forced to deal with its meaningless, temporary surroundings AS IF THEY ARE GOING TO BE THERE ‘FOREVER’, and so stuck in its own little world, until the tide comes in again, that is – THE TIDE THAT IS THE ‘NESSECCARY CHANGE’ THAT SAVES IT FROM STARVATION AND INSANITY CAUSED BY ITS ‘STOPPED, CHILDISH MIND’…

But that CRAB IS NOT AS DUMB AS YOU, THAT CRAB IS A GROWN UP, so just waits for this MOMENT TO PASS, without a ‘CARE’, which – sidebar – is actually why they say ‘PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE’, yet no one knows anymore that PATIENCE MEANS STANDING AGAINST YOUR PETTY EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T MATTER AND WILL PASS, you think patience is ‘WEAKNESS, VIA THE BOREDOM OF INACTIVITY’, ‘CAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD, and your child ‘needs’ a DISTRACTION FROM ITSELF RIGHT FUCKING NOW, otherwise its gets so very sad – ahhhh, poor little you eh, so maybe go eat a biscuit, this is a long post…   

See YOU HAVE NO PERSPECTIVE, NO SENSE OF YOURSELF BASED ON YOUR ACTUAL POSITION IN REALITY, separate to the REACTIONARY RELATIVELY of your EGO, which means you can’t change, EVER, unless of course YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISASSOCIATE FROM ‘YOU THE CHILD’, FROM ITS ‘REACTIONS’ BY STANDING AGAINST THE TRIVIAL EMOTIONS THAT TRIGGER THOSE REACTIONS, ‘de-value’ what ‘it’ wants to do NOW, because you realize it is not actually YOU.

Indeed it does not even like you, ITS ‘HOST CREATURE’, its fine with you suffering as it only cares about its own EVER REVOLVING, UN-NATURAL needs and fears moment to moment – it’s A GUTLESS BITCH THAT HIDES IN THE BACKGROUND OF YOUR MIND, BEHIND YOUR UNCONSCIOUS NARCISSISM, WHICH YOU EXPERIENCE AS YOUR OVERWHELMING ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ = A RECURRING TYPE OF EMOTION THAT CAUSES YOU TO DO OTHERWISE TRIVIAL, UNIMPORTANT THINGS ‘THOUGHTLESSLY’, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO DO THEM ‘URGENTLY’, AND YOU WILL NEED TO SEE THIS VERY CLEARLY IN YOURSELF TO BREAK IT – TO BE GIFTED YOU CANNOT WALK AROUND FEELING INFERIOR TO EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AS ‘YOUR CHARACTER OF NO CHARACTER’, THAT IS WHAT IT MEANS…

SEE THE SHARP PANG OF TENSION THAT ‘INFERIORITY’ CREATES CONTROLS YOU – YOUR CHILD MUST ‘COMPETE’ TO FEEL BETTER, MUST INVENT SOME ‘FAKE WIN’ IN ORDER TO EXIST, SO ANY TEMPORARY ‘PERCEIVED SUCCESS’ IS ITS MOST DANGEROUS TRAIT – YOUR WORST SELF BECOMES YOUR BEST SELF, IN YOUR CONSCIOUS EYES. SO YOU BUY INTO IT, INTO THE DELUSION OF FAILURE = SUCCESS, BECAUSE OF SOME TINY, MOMENTARY EMOTIONAL GRATIFICATION THAT COMES WITH THAT DELUSION. THIS THEN BECOMES THE BEGINNING OF THE FANTASY WORLD YOU LIVE IN, OF THE NEVER ENDING PRODUCTION OF FAKE, EMOTIONAL WINS THAT DON’T EXIST, SO ONLY YOU CAN SEE THEM, BECAUSE YOU THE CHILD NEEDS THEM TO BE HAPPY, SO YOU INDULGE IT TO COMFORT YOURSELF AGAINST ‘LIFE’…

See, as a CHILD YOU ‘HAVE TO REACT’ TO YOUR NOTHINGNESS TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT THOSE REACTIONS ARE ALL YOU ARE, THERE IS NOTHING ELSE, NO SENSE OF YOURSELF TO STAND AGAINST IT, and go, ‘just fuck off now’, you pointless little childish reaction from when I was 6 y/os that is totally useless in this context to me, but still makes me JUMP OUT OF MY SKIN WITH THE NEED TO DO DUMB SHIT,  in a simple, repetitive pattern, like a some trivial, basic bitch, doomed forever to the pointless pettiness of living out YOUR ‘authentic lies’ adopted by accident in childhood…

Easy eh..? Lol, if only… but YOU NEVER SEE ‘YOU THE CHILD’ ANYMORE DO YOU – YOU THINK YOU ARE A BIG GIRL NOW – so you think its ‘you’, don’t you, that these unbidden thoughts and feelings are natural, rationale, THAT YOU ARE BEING AUTHENTIC, THAT THIS CRAP IS ‘YOUR TRUTH’ – LMFAO…

So TODAY I’M GOING TO HELP YOU WITH THIS LITTLE SHIT SHOW OF YOURS – I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHAT GROWING UP IS, SPIRITUALLY, why YOU THE CHILD has to go, by creating an EMOTIONAL ANCHOR to YOU THE ADULT and INVESTING YOUR TIME AND ENERGY INTO BUILDING THAT = TO MAINTAIN THE FEELING OF ‘BOTTLE’, SO YOU HAVE ‘ENOUGH BOTTLE’ TO GO ‘AGAINST YOU THE CHILD’, in your day to day life. But you need to know what you are up against today, KNOW THAT THIS NEW ANCHOR MUST FEEL BETTER THAN THE REACTIONS OF A CHILD, which you currently chase, SO YOU CAN CHASE SOMETHING ELSE – the MINDSET OF AN ADULT, INSTEAD OF THE MINDSET OF A CHILD.

So what da fuck is the ‘MINDSET OF A CHILD’ AS AN ACTUAL PROCESS YOU CAN SEE then..? Its this…

TO BE A CHILD IS TO NEED CONSTANT ‘EXTERNAL VALIDATION’, AS THAT IS HOW ‘A CHILD LEARNS – IT ‘COPIES REALITY’.

SO TO BE A CHILD IS TO EMBRACE YOUR ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ VIA THOSE E-MOTIONS, AS THEY ARE ESSENTIAL FOR LEARNING AS A KID.

 SO TO BE A CHILD IS TO ‘FEEL’ EVERYTHING ‘EXTERNAL TO YOU’ PERSONALLY, TO EXPERIENCE IT ‘EMOTIONALLY’, IN AN ‘UNCONTROLLED’ WAY.

SO TO BE A CHILD IS TO FEEL RESPONSIBLE ‘TO’ EVERYTHING EXTERNALLY, WHICH OVERPOWERS ANY RESPONSIBILITY ‘FOR’ YOUR ‘SELF’ INTERNALLY.

YES – YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO ‘BIG DOGGED’ OUT OF ANY SELF-CONTROL BY WHAT YOU THINK IS REALITY, BUT IT IS REALLY JUST YOUR TRIVAL REACTION TO A REALITY YOU HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN, AN HISTORIC, IMPERFECT, UNSUITABLE AND OFTEN QUITE STUPID ASSUMPTION ABOUT ‘THE MEANING OF THAT REALITY’, THAT YOU GUESSED AT AS A CHILD…

THESE PATTERNS ARE NOT REALITY, THEY ARE ‘YOU THE CHILDS’ REALITY, THEY ARE AN OUT OF DATE INSTRUCTION MANUAL WRITTEN FOR A SCARED LITTLE CHILD, A FUNCTIONAL SHORT HAND LEARNT AS A KID, SIMPLY A ‘PLACEHOLDER REACTION’ THAT YOU SHOULD OF REPLACED BY NOW…

IN THIS SENSE THE WORD ‘RESPONSIBLE’ MEANS TO BE ‘OBLIGATED’ BY YOUR ‘INFERIOR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS’ TO ‘YOUR REALITY’, SO YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE FIXED CHAIN OF YOUR SHITTY HISTORIC PATTERNS FORMED IN CHILDHOOD THAT ARE TRIGGERED BY THEM!

YET YOUR MOMENTARY REALITY IS A MEANINGLESS JUMBLE OF CRAP, OF ‘FALSE INSTINCT’ AS YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE IN YOU TO ‘PUT AGAINST IT’.

SEE TO BE A CHILD IS JUST A LEARNING PHASE FOR BABY ANIMALS, WHO CAN NOT YET FEND FOR THEMSELVES, CAN NOT FIGHT, CAN NOT FIND FOOD…

AT THE END OF ITS CHILDHOOD A KID MUST GO THROUGH A RITE OF PASSAGE TO REPLACE THAT ‘INFERIOR TO REALITY’ COMPLEX WITH  A ‘SUPERIOR TO REALITY’ COMPLEX – INFERIORITY MUST BECOME ‘THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY TO YOUR REALITY’, TO  BE AN ADULT.

BUT YOU DIDN’T, DID YOU – YOU ARE STUCK THERE…

Are you starting to see the problem now..? Great, as TODAY YOU MUST CHANGE AND WANT TO ‘DISOWN’ ‘YOU THE CHILD’, AS IT’S THE SOURCE OF ALL YOUR FAILURES AND FUCK UPS, as they are ALL EMBEDDED IN YOUR TOTALLY UN-NATURAL ‘MINDSET OF A CHILD’, WITH ALL THE OTHER POINTLESS REACTIONS LEARNT IN CHILDHOOD THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD OF GROWN OUT OF BY NOW, eh… But sadly, you can not fake this, SEE TO BE A GROWN UP YOU MUST NOT ONLY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, you MUST ‘FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THAT RESPONSIBILITY’ as more important than your REACTIONS IN THE MOMENT OF CATCHING THOSE REACTIONS – WITHOUT THAT ‘DISTRACTING’ WEIGHT YOU CAN NEVER NOTICE YOURSELF CONSISTENTLY. 

Yeah, YOU KNOW ALL THIS DON’T YOU, even this spiritual version sounds very familiar TO YOU, WHICH IS WHY YOU ARE ALREADY REJECTING IT, LIKE YOU HAVE REJECTED EVERY CHANCE TO GROW UP YOU HAVE EVER HAD – YOU THINK BEING AN ADULT IS TO ‘FAKE IT’, BECAUSE YOU DON’T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT DO YOU, however older and wiser you are, as nothing in your petty little life has SHOCKED YOU OUT OF YOUR CHILDISH MIND STATE.

YOU CAN NOT PRETEND TO BE AN ADULT, SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING.

YOU MUST FEEL IT AS A SEPARATE, MORE IMPORTANT PART OF YOURSELF THAN ‘YOU THE CHILD’. 

AND YOU DON’T, DO YOU – WHICH IS HOW I KNOW YOU ARE TOTALLY, OBLIVIOUSLY AND PERMANENTLY ‘FAKE’… 

The KEY word above is OBLIVIOUSLY, so try and understand what it is to be UNCONSCIOUSLY FAKE – YOU LIE ALL THE TIME, NOTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS THE TRUTH, both CONSCIOUSLY AND EVEN ON THE RARE OCCASION YOU TRY AND BE HONEST IT IS SIMPLY ‘YOUR TRUTH’, YOUR BEST GUESS AT AN OPINION THAT YOU have SIMPLY COME TO BELIEVE IS TRUE via REPETITION, LIKE A BLOODY PARROT. So we can’t believe a fucking word you say, most of it is false instinct, just reactive gibberish, YOU DON’T EVEN REALLY WANT TO SAY IT, DO YOU, BUT YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY, so YOU JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND WORDS COME OUT, like a monkey in the jungle following its programming. But at least theirs IS natural, WHILST YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE ENERGETIC DAMAGE AND DELUSION CAUSED BY YOUR LYING, DO YOU, you think its cool because it allows you to be secretly clever, in your own little playground, like a KID WHO RETREATS TO A FANTASY DREAM WORLD whenever something hurts its feelings – YOU ARE A TWAT.

Yes, you’re a twat, IF YOU SAW YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON WITHOUT ALL YOUR DELUSIONS then ‘YOU’ WOULD THINK YOU ARE A TWAT, A LIAR, A CHEAT, A COWARD, A FOOL, A FAILURE – A SILLY LITTLE FUCK UP WHO CAN’T THINK FAR ENOUGH AHEAD TO SEE THE SELF-DESTRUCTION IN YOUR PETTY PLEASURES. But it does not really matter that by being irresponsible with yourself you are ACTUALLY TAKING ON RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU, it does not matter that you purposely make yourself smaller everyday to numb the pain of your ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’ AND SO ‘BE HAPPY’, it MATTERS THAT YOU HAVE NO CONSTANT SENSE OF YOURSELF AS SUPERIOR TO COMFORT YOURSELF AGAINST THE INFERIORITY COMPLEX OF A CHILD.

So you have to constantly chase ‘external comforts’ to get you through the day, just to feel slightly less POWERLESS, to try and create the ever so temporary feeling of POWER, OF CLEVERNESS IN YOURSELF – that is what a child DOES ALL DAY, that is NORMAL FOR A CHILD, so you DON’T EVEN NOTICE IT ANYMORE, YOU DON’T NOTICE THAT ONLY ‘A FORM OF PLAYING’ FEELS GOOD TO YOU, do you. SEE THE WAY YOU LIVE AS A CHILD, THAT FLAKEY, FRAGILE, TENOUS, UNSTABLE ‘EMOTIONAL EXISTENCE’ OF A CHILD IS ‘HORRIBLE’, REPULSIVE, OBVIOUS – ONLY A COMPLETE FOOL WOULD CHOOSE TO BE IT, once you know what the alternative is, of course…

So you wanna stop being a pointless fuck up and GROW UP yet, NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT A CHILD IS? Cool, SO LETS SHOW YOU HOW TO BE MORE THAN A BASIC LITTLE ‘1 DIMENSIONAL’ TOOL then, shall we, BUT FIRST, a little HEADS UP FOR YA – YOU HAVE A PROBLEM:

YOU HAVE NORMALISED BEING A CHILD AS A GOOD THING, MADE A FAKE STRENGTH OUT OF A REAL WEAKNESS.

THEREFORE YOU DON’T WANT TO CHANGE, AS YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE THESE COLOSSAL MISTAKES YOU HAVE MADE AS A KID.

WORSE EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOUR LIFE BEARABLE, FUN, COMFORTABLE IS ASSOCIATED WITH BEING CHILDISH, THOUGHLESS.

THEREFORE TO DE-VALUE YOU THE CHILD IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR YOU, AND TYPICALLY HAS TO BE ‘SLAPPED OUT OF YOU’, THE HARD WAY.

THIS IS SUCH AN ISSUE IN DEVELOPMENT THAT MOST TEACHERS SIMPLY WON’T DO IT, IT’S UNBELIEVABLY TEDIOUS AND ANNOYING, LIKE YOU.

SO THE FEW LIKE ME, WHO ARE WILLING TO TRY, TEND TO BE A LITTLE RIGHT-WING ABOUT IT – THIS POST HAS TO HIT VERY HARD FOR IT TO WORK, HAS TO BE VERY REPETATIVE AND CUT DEEPLY TO GET PAST THE EGO DEFENSES OF A CHILD, AND FORCED REPETITION IS ALL YOU HAVE AS A CHILD….

SO KNOW THE REWARD FOR PASSING THIS TEST IS VERY, VERY HIGH – TO GET ‘CONTROL’ OF YOUR LIFE BACK AND ACTUALLY BE SOMEBODY ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU THE BIG KID, WHO FUCKS UP CONSTANTLY FOR NO REASON…

SEE TO GROW UP IN LATER LIFE ‘YOU MUST WANT TO GROW UP’, MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE – YOU MUST BE ENERGIZED BY THE THOUGHT OF IT, AS YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS FOR YOU, NOW YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD THIS POST AND HENCE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU THE ADULT IS, INSTEAD.

See this stuff has to STING A BIT, but it will only work if YOU RECOGNISE ‘WHAT IT IS STINGING’ IS ‘YOU THE CHILDISH FUCK UP’, then you can come to KNOW that BIG KID BY WHAT IT WANTS, what it does to you day to day AND therefore DE-VALUE THAT FUCK UP, see it as the horrible fucking mess that wants to make your life a self-destructive shit box, FULL OF PARASITIC ANIMAL TRASH, forever – YOU MUST ‘SEE’ THE UNCONSCIOUS PART OF YOU THAT IS MAKING YOUR LIFE SHIT IN ORDER TO DRIVE YOU TO COMFORT YOURSELF LIKE A CHILD BECAUSE OF THAT SHITNESS, WHILST THOSE ‘PETTY COMFORTS OF INFERIORITY’  SIMPLY CREATE EVEN MORE SHIT, AND SO THE CYCLE NEVER ENDS. See YOU THE CHILD knows your PLEASURES WOULD NOT BE FUN if they did not COMFORT YOU AGAINST THE REST OF YOUR CRAPPY LITTLE LIFE, that is why you have a crappy little life…

I KNOW ITS HARD TO BELIEVE BUT ITS TRUE – YOU THE CHILD FUCKS UP ON PURPOSE so YOU GIVE IT ‘ATTENTION’, ALL DAY AND EVERY DAY, TO A GREATER OR LESSER DEGREE. YOU MUST GET THIS IN YOUR HEAD, NOW – THIS IS WHAT WE MEAN WHEN WE SAY ‘SELF-SABOTAGE’, THE MOST DANGEROUS OF ALL THE FAULTS OF A CHILD = EVER INCREASING FAILURE = EVENTUAL SELF-DESTRUCTION. Yep, all that ‘ATTENTION SEEKING WHORE’ thing has to go, ONCE YOU HAVE GROWN UP YOU WILL HATE THAT PART OF YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE – YOU WILL HATE THE COWARDICE THAT ONCE DOMINATED YOUR LIFE, you will hate what it DID TO YOUR ‘NAME’…

You must see the CON of it, of this childishness that controls you – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT AN UNCONSCIOUS PART OF YOU IS MAKING YOU CHOOSE TO DESTROY YOUR SELF FOR ITS OWN ‘LAUGHS’. See this is why we say the world is laughing at YOU, but you think its COOL, LIKE A TOTAL DORK, see they are ‘not laughing with you’, YOUR DEGREDATION AND ‘HUMILIATION IS FUN’ FOR THEM, it gives the insects of this world a POWER THRILL they will otherwise never have – SEE THIS CLEARLY IN YOURSELF. SEE THE COST OF EGO SAFETY TO YOUR SELF IS YOUR OWN SPIRIT, THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS GIFTED YOU IS DESTROYED BY THIS, YOUR VERY LIFE FORCE ITSELF, AND FOR WHAT BENEFIT EXACTLY, TO COMFORT YOURSELF AGAINST THE INFERIORITY OF A KID…

In order to help get this point across, I’m going to QUICKLY explain something to you which is rarely done at an animal level, but is obvious once you DEVELOP, AS IT REMAINS THE NO1 ISSUES BETWEEN ‘US AND THEM’: 

YOU CANNOT BE LIKED OR LOVED AS A CHILD – YOU CANNOT BE LOVED FOR YOUR WEAKNESS, FOR YOUR SERVICE, OTHER THAN BY YOUR PARENTS.

TO BE LIKED FOR YOUR WEAKNESS IS TO BE LIKED FOR YOUR UTILITY, FOR WHAT YOU DO – THERE IS NO ‘RESPECT IN THAT’ OUTSIDE OF YOUR FAMILY.

INDEED, YOUR PRIMARY FUNCTION IN THOSE TYPE OF PLEASER RELATIONSHIPS IS TO MAKE YOUR PARTNER ‘FEEL SUPERIOR TO YOU’, FOR A MOMENT.

THEREFORE OVER TIME YOUR RELATIONSHIP BECOMES ABOUT THE ‘FUNCTIONALITY OF PETTY POWER’, WHICH RAPIDLY BECOMES DISDAIN, HATRED. 

YOU CAN ONLY BE LIKED OR LOVED FOR YOUR STRENGTH, FOR YOUR QUALITY, FOR YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’, AS THOSE RELATIONSHIPS ‘RESPECT YOU’.

BE CLEAR – TO BE LOVED BY YOUR OWN KIND IS TO BE ‘RESPECTED FOR YOUR QUALITY’, YOUR MAGIC, YOUR GIFT, THAT IS WHAT LOVE MEANS…

GIFTED RELATIONSHIPS ARE BASED ON ‘THE QUALITY OF CONNECTION’ WHICH BUILDS YOU THE INDIVIDUAL, NOT THE SAFETY OR FEAR OF YOU THE CHILD, WHICH KILLS YOU THE INDIVIDUAL – THEY ARE CHALK AND CHEESE. 

BUT TO BE LIKED/LOVED BY ANIMALS IS SIMPLY TO BE USED AS A POWER TRIP, WITH CONSTANT LITTLE BATTLES AND ARGUMENTS YOU CAN NEVER WIN AS THE TOPIC IS IRRELEVANT – THEY ARE ABOUT PUTTING YOU DOWN FOR THE FUN OF ‘FEELING SUPERIOR TO YOU’, THAT IS ‘THE POINT OF YOU’, it is about POSSESSION AND EVEN MORE SO, CONTROL, it is about GIVING ‘POWER THRILLS TO THE POWERLESS’…   

TRY READING THIS A FEW TIMES UNTIL YOU SEE YOURSELF IN IT, try and understand what it means for the patterns in your life, your future, your fate, and then maybe you will have a mental way into this topic that you will REMEMBER LONG ENOUGH FOR IT TO BE USEFUL TO YOU, for the CHANGE.

If you are GIFTED YOU NEED CONNECTION, and with no other development for the unschooled but HIGHLY GIFTED YOU WILL CONTINUE TO CHASE CONNECTION OUTSIDE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, often making the same dumb ass mistakes over and over again, AS YOU PROJECT THAT NEED FOR CONNECTION ON TO WHATEVER ANIMAL TRASH IS PASSING BY.

Please be very clear – ANIMALS DON’T FEEL CONNECTION, THEY ONLY EXPERIENCE CHEMICAL, ANIMAL EMOTIONS, and even that shit is only felt briefly. See, ANIMALS DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT HIGHER EMOTIONS ARE, but you do, don’t you, SO YOU NEED TO know that makes YOU different to THEM – YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE IS ALREADY AT A HIGHER EMOTIONAL LEVEL, AS YOU WERE BORN WITH THAT LEVEL…

Do not underestimate THIS REALIZATION OF ‘US’ AND ‘THEM’, however much you have repressed your OVERLY SENSITIVE CHILDHOOD.

OVER 2/3 OF GIFTED WOMEN ALREADY FEEL THIS NEED FOR CONNECTION SO MUCH IT DOMINATES THEIR UNSCHOOLED LIVES.

So DEVELOPMENT QUICKLY BECOMES ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO USE SOMETHING YOU ARE ALREADY CONSCIOUS OF, ‘CORRECTLY’.

In my experience this is the VERY BEST WAY INTO DEVELOPMENT FOR HEDONISTS, BECAUSE IT ‘ACTUALLY’ IS A SUPERPOWER.

BUT FIRST YOU MUST GROW UP…

A personal note: 

I’m going to take an extended break from writing this blog, not least as I must FOCUS MY EFFORTS ON THE FOLKS WHO HAVE ALREADY SHOWN SOME ‘BOTTLE’ AND ASKED FOR HELP TO DEVELOP PERSONALLY. Much as I don’t do this much these days, WHEN GIFTED FOLK ASK, I teach them, whoever they are and whatever they have done, ITS PART OF THE ROLE, much as its one I don’t always care for, HENCE MY RATHER INFAMOUS ‘EXERCISE IN STYLE’ THAT IS MY APPROACH TO THIS TEACHER STUFF – you can love it or hate it, but it does seem to work for my chosen demographic. 

Anyway, several of these new candidates HAVE ASKED FOR THIS BLOG TO BE TAKEN DOWN AND ONLY GIVEN TO THEM PERSONALLY – they wish it to be exclusive for those who ALREADY HAVE THE TASTE FOR DEVELOPMENT, AND ARE CONCERNED THE HERD ARE STOPPING THEM, INTERFERING WITH THEM ON PURPOSE. They wish to protect themselves while they develop yet still have to keep up appearances, which in this day and age is very wise – much as development is ALWAYS PERSONAL, PARTICULARLY FOR THE HIGHLY GIFTED.

So this post will be the last for some time, and MY CONNECTION TO THE REST OF YOU WILL THEREFORE BE BROKEN, AS I HAVE OTHER STUFF TO DO NOW – this phase of my life is over for now, much as may return to it in later life to finish it up as a course of study. THEREFORE YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE WHAT IS IN THIS POST SERIOUSLY, or as much as YOU THE CHILD CAN TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY, but please try not to con yourself – being GIFTED IS A CURSE ON A CHILD UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, which means you have to learn to grow up first, SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A CONSISTENT PURPOSE, AN INTENTION IN THE MOMENT THAT REFLECTS YOUR GOALS, ‘WHO YOU ARE’. And you don’t, do you, YOU JUST DRIFT BETWEEN YOUR COMFORTS AND OBLIGATIONS LIKE A FOOL, yet still expect your life to work out, INSTEAD OF JUST GOING ROUND IN EVER DECREASING CIRCLES OF SHITE, THAT ARE NOT EVEN FUN FOR A CHILD ANYMORE. *Big, slow yawn…*

At this time I won’t FINISH this post BEYOND SOME FURTHER EDITS, so what you read below is imperfect and un-edited, but still contains the guts of GROWING UP. Make of it what you will, BUT FRANKLY, IF YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO REALIZE THAT YOU NEED EXTERNAL HELP, then what happens to you is NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, and I can no longer commit any further energy to you. TIME IS SHORT, MANY OF YOU DESERVE WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU NOW, SO AT LEAST TRY AND GROW UP ENOUGH NOT TO CRY ABOUT IT LIKE A SILLY BITCH, eh. SORRY, BUT IT GETS KINDA BORING LISTENING TO ‘THE ENTITLED’ BASK IN THEIR MENTAL ILLNESS WITHOUT ANY DESIRE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT – you are just excusing the EVIL in yourself for an easier ‘downslope’, plain and simple, LIKE A SELF SERVING LITTLE KID WHO STILL THINKS THEIR WORLD/TRUTH/EXISTENCE MATTERS TO ANYONE ELSE. 

For the GIFTED AMONGST YOU I KNOW PERSONALLY BUT ARE STILL TOO SCARED AND STUPID TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELVES I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK with your struggles and comforts, with the emptiness and decline of your current existence. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF, ON THE BETTER PART OF YOU, AS YOU AGE IT WILL BE THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS YOU OUT OF THE FIRE, so I hope you find SOMETHING ELSE TO HELP YOU – IF YOU ARE GIFTED IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN YOUR LIFE, BECAUSE IT IS WHAT CAUSES EVERYTHING ELSE TO HAPPEN. TRY AND REMEMBER THIS, when in later life even you realize you actually need help, WHEN ALL YOUR ANIMAL LEVEL POWER IS NOW GONE, and you start to feel empty ALL THE TIME. 

For the rest of you, the ‘MOSTLY HARMLESS’ OF THIS WORLD, all the little PARASITIC COKE HEADS, the RANDOM STONERS ALL LOST AND ALONE, the spectators that clap along at the back, the DRUNKS PASSED OUT in the alley, the ugly herd, the chanting rabble, the next wave of cannon fodder, for all the little rubber people that no one notices, just piss off back to your twatty little life now eh. For all your banal uselessness, know YOU ARE ‘THEM’, YOU ARE THE HERD OF COWS PASSING THE TIME BEFORE YOU ARE SLAUGHTERED, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM – YOU TAINT EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH WITH YOUR MEDIOCRITY, YOUR FAILURE, YOUR ATTENTION SEEKING BEHAVIOUR, LIKE AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE. For the more psychotic stalkers amongst you, don’t be surprised about what happens now – YOUR NARCISSISM WILL KILL YOU IN THE END, AND THAT END IS ALWAYS MUCH CLOSER THAN YOU THINK, PARTICULARLY FOR THE CREEPY TWATS ‘HIDING IN TOILETS’, LIKE YOU. Such a funny story that one, PICTURES AS WELL, wonder if it will ever get published…

So we are done now, so there is no further value in me being KIND to CLEVER LITTLE FAKE TWATS, as it was only ever done to help the others amongst you worthy of that help in the first place, so best not to delude yourself – ‘YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO’, even if that is little more than a MENTALLY ILL crack whore, ONE OF THE MANY ACCEPTABLE CURSES OF OUR MODERN AGE. I don’t mean to be mean for no reason, I MEAN TO MEAN CAUSE YOU ARE A PARASITE WHO DOES NOT BELONG HERE, and SO HURTS THE CHANCES OF THE GIFTED WHO DO BY CHASING CHEAP THRILLS FOR A LAUGH, YOU FAT, UGLY, STUPID DORK.   

Lastly, as is traditional amongst MY KIND, after a reasonable but short period I will take the whole BLOG DOWN, so for the remaining SHY GIFTED do PLEASE copy anything you wish to keep, much as I have given several other teachers permission to use elements of it. But my final word must be to Help You, so, for all the GIFTED WHO CANNOT DO A DAMN THING TO CHANGE, TO DEVELOP THEMSELVES, JUST TRY AND REMEMBER ONE SIMPLE PHRASE, AS YOU STEP BACK INTO THE CHILDISH COMFORT OF YOUR CHOSEN FORM OF OBLIVION, HOWEVER DRESSED UP BY YOUR FAKE ANTI-HERO TO APPEAR COOL, WHILST ACTUALLY BEING SICKENING TO WATCH – ‘I AM GIFTED, I AM BETTER THAN THIS’ – SAID SLOWLY, PRECISELY, AND WITH AS MUCH EMOTION IN THE MOMENT AS YOU CAN MUSTER. Then one day maybe you will be, if you live long enough, BY WHICH I MEAN IF YOU ACTUALLY ‘WANT’ TO ‘LIVE’ ENOUGH.

Before you read on now, try and hold this TRUTH IN YOUR MIND FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN – AS A GIFTED CHILD YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU ARE DOING, OR WHY YOU ARE DOING IT. Who ‘YOU THINK YOU ARE’, WHAT ‘YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING’ AND ‘WHY YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING IT’ IS ALL A VEIL DESIGNED TO CONCEAL THE TRUTH FROM YOU, and you will NEVER KNOW WHAT IS BEHIND THAT VEIL UNLESS GROW UP. See in your actual CHILDHOOD, at some moment or 2 you FAILED EVOLUTION 101, AND HANDED OVER TOTAL CONTROL OF YOURSELF TO YOUR UNCONSCIOUS ‘CHARACTER OF NO CHARACTER’, BECAUSE YOU REFUSED TO TAKE THAT RESPONSIBILITY ON YOURSELF CONSCIOUSLY, OUT OF IGNORANCE. So now that is all you are, A PUPPET IN A SHOW, who thinks the crowd is CLAPPING when they are actually LAUGHING AT YOU, AND YOU LACK THE GUTS TO ‘EVEN WANT TO SEE THAT’.

This is growing up 101, what you should have been taught in school, so hold this in your mind if you can, all the time. If you helps at all please comfort yourself with the knowledge that you must hate and fear the people your god sends to help YOU, HATE THE VISCERAL EFFECT THEY HAVE ON YOU, because ‘YOU THE CHILD’ KNOWS THEY HAVE COME TO KILL IT, that is why IT MAKES YOU hate and fear them. SO BE ASSURED WE KNOW THAT, BECAUSE WE ARE SMARTER THAN YOU, AS WE KNOW ‘YOU HAVE HAPPENED BEFORE’, BECAUSE ‘EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE’, and we LOVE IT, indeed folks like me kinda live for this shit…

SEE WE KNOW HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME BETTER THAN YOU DO, SO KNOW EVERYTHING IS A TEST, KNOW YOU ARE BEING PLAYED BY US, IN ORDER TO HELP YOU STOP BEING PLAYED BY YOU THE CHILD, should you BE READY YET, WHICH YOU HAVE TO DECIDE – WE ARE LITERALLY NOT ALLOWED TO DO ‘AN INTERVENTION BY FORCE’, unless there is ‘danger to life’, much as even I don’t KNOW why that is. See I COULD GROW YOU BY FORCE IN A COUPLE OF HOURS BY SIMPLY SHOCKING ‘THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU’, usually by using the one aspect of your desires that is closest to your gifted self, BUT APPARENTLY THAT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ACCIDENTAL, otherwise its highly dangerous, and would break all but the strongest of you, *bigger yawn*…

But have a heart eh, IN THE MEANTIME, REALIZE THAT YOU, YOUR TYPE IS IN THE TEXT BOOK, that we know everything you are going to do, all your BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE, and maybe, just for me, try and be a little more INTERESTING – pretty please with bells on, little ribbons and even one of them gold coins on a chain you really like, eh? I am sorry (NOT SORRY) for ‘WORLD WEARY MASTER TEACHER’ vibe check, but trust me should you ever decide to develop yourself as a GIFTED CHILD you are going to need the ‘GALLOWS HUMOUR OF THE GIFTED’, as you are KINDA permanently in ‘HARMS BOMB SIGHTS’, and its as good a place as any to find you way into this stuff – it is the one I chose myself, all those years ago as ITS A FAVOURITE AMONGST THE HIGHLY GIFTED, cause its FORCED ON YOU BY YOUR GIFT in order to keep you alive and largely sane, at least as long as YOUR GIFT HOLDS OUT, that is.

So how is your GIFT holding up, honey bunny..? Ahhh, things are starting to creak a little eh, starting to fray at the edges emotionally, not the badass motherfucker you always hoped for eh, and the mirror is starting to laugh back at you every morning… Sorry to hear that, but know its all good – you are still alive – but just remember for that next little adventure its a good idea to try and make it home with your knickers on your ass, instead of in your handbag, or for some you, ‘on your head’. So I will leave you with the immortal wisdom of the lyrical genius and hard core 4th Way devotee who was Gerry Raffetry, kinda growing up 101 for all you bitches who missed that as a kid, so still think the petty self-destruction of your fake anti-hero is in someway ‘cool’, and not just more blah, blah, fucking blah, like we do…

‘You gotta grow, you gotta learn by your mistakes, YOU GOTTA DIE A LITTLE EVERYDAY JUST TO TRY AND STAY AWAKE, no use complaining, don’t you worry, don’t you whine, CAUSE IF YOU GET IT WRONG YOU GET IT RIGHT next time..’ (Sorry, Get It Right Next Time..). Should you have looked that song up and find it charms you in anyway please choose it as your theme tune, it was designed for this purpose, with all it ridiculously over the top, multi layered production, and you will never find an easier way to break the reliance on the external validation OF CREEPY TWATS than finding YOUR personal validation in this song…

For all the unschooled gifted out there – See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya…

For the rest of you bunch of cunts – Smell ya, shouldn’t have to tell ya…

For all of MY DEVOTED LITTLE FAN CLUB – Just try and kick it up a notch and grow a pair eh, you are so very DEAD for such a very long time, after all – TRY AND ACTUALLY ‘DO’ CONFLICT INSTEAD OF BEING A PEOPLE PLEASING WHORE, eh, IF NOTHING ELSE YOU WILL PROVE MY INITIAL ASSESSMENT OF YOU WRONG, and would you not like to ‘actually’ be clever for once… Frankly I’m right so much it gets kinda dull, I actually love it when I’m wrong, here’s hoping –

Finally, for the HIGHLY GIFTED FRUIT LOOPS – Ding, Dong, MY PRETTY – TRY AND WORK THIS LAST BIT OUT FOR YOURSELF, try and be smart enough to be interesting, TRY AND DO SOMETHING UNEXPECTED, search your soul for the energy to do something BETTER THAN FOR YOURSELF, surprise me – its already too late for you, so what does it matter, eh, you have what you wanted, what you invested so much of your time and effort into, so there is nothing to lose, you have nothing more or less than what was expected of you, of your type, so try and see it that way, the same STEREOTYPICAL well-trodden path we see, it may help THE CHANGE.

SO ONE LAST TIME JUST FOR YOU – EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, YOUR EXACT CIRCUMSTANCE AND BEHAVIOR HAVE HAPPENED BEFORE, countless times – so get the fuck over the self indulgent drama of it, take some interest in your future instead – YOU ONLY CHANCE NOW IS TO REALIZE YOU ARE SIMPLY ACTING OUT A BANAL STEREOTYPE, just the same as I and many 10,000s of us have had to face before we could change. Hell, you are not even a particularly good version of it, I’VE SEEN WAY BETTER OVER THE YEARS, so are YOU NOT A LITTLE EMBARRASSED TO BE YOU, you are barely a 5/10, you stink up the place as it seems to me your heart is simply not in it anymore.

So why not have a break from being such a fake, gutless little bitch, you can always go right back to your petty self-sabotage, self-destruction and self-hatred tomorrow, eh, nobody will care, as nobody will notice. SO TAKE TODAYS VICTORY, TAKE THE CLEVERNESS OF A PANTOMINE VILLAIN and SNIGGER FOR A MOMENT IN THE CORNER OF YOUR BEDROOM LIKE YOU ARE QUEEN OF THE WORLD, as later it will at least help you justify everything you have lost, and can never get back. 

See WE KNOW, for the very best candidates, YOU HAVE TO LOSE ALMOST EVERYTHING, FIRST – THE EVIL IN YOU HAS TO BE BROKEN LIKE A HORSE, HELL EVEN YOU KNOW THIS, DON’T YOU, AS YOU ARE ALSO TESTING ‘US’, ARE YOU NOT. See YOU NEED A REALLY GOOD REASON TO STOP, EVEN WHEN YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO – always found this aspect of the human condition kinda odd myself, but its the same for everyone – YOU MUST BE ‘CONQUERED BY THE TRUTH’, VANQUISHED BY ‘THE HIGHER QUALITY’ OF IT in order TO ASPIRE TO BE IT, otherwise you just fight on even when you know you are beaten, before simply running away when it finally exhausts you AS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ELSE TO DO WITH YOURSELF, do you…

So take a moment now to stare off into the distance and understand why this is the way it is, why it has all happened THIS WAY for you and so many others BETTER THAN YOU. But sure, IQs do seem to have dropped radically in my absence, including yours, SO MAYBE don’t chance it JUST yet, YOU ARE SO SPECIAL – YOU CAN BLANK IT ALL OUT FOR ANOTHER 5 YEARS AND STILL BOUNCE RIGHT BACK, EH. See, the reason I’m telling you all of this is that I ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO FAIL SO OTHERS CAN SUCCEED, AS YOU HAVE FAILED TO GRASP THE NECESSARY EVIL THAT IS THE ‘COMPETITIVE NATURE OF DEVELOPMENT’, AS THAT IS HOW YOU GET THE ENERGY TO START, AS OTHERWISE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE TO WEAK to DO IT. So helping you before that is a waste of my time, AS YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHEN YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE ‘COOL’…

Be clear: YOUR MUST SEE THAT YOU ARE A FREAK SHOW…

EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS BEST ABOUT YOU HAS TO BE SECRET, CONCEALED, YOU EVEN HAVE TO LIE ABOUT IT, DON’T YOU…

THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AS A LIAR, A CHEAT – SEE THE GUTLESS, FAKE TWAT IN YOURSELF, SEE THE TRUTH. 

SEE – YOU ARE A LIVING A LIE, YOU ARE A CON ARTIST, BECAUSE YOU ARE TOTALLY FAKE, LIKE A LITTLE KID.

YET YOU THINK YOU ARE A COOL, CLEVER ANTI-‘HERO’ – BUT WHERE IS THAT HERO, THAT QUALITY?

YOU ARE DELUSIONAL, AN INSECT, THAT ANY FOOL YOU KNOW COULD CRUSH RIGHT NOW…

BUT THE WORST BIT IS THIS – THOSE FOOLS HAVE ALREADY CRUSHED YOU…  

SO ONE LAST TIME – THE VERY BEST OF YOU MUST ALWAYS GET WORSE BEFORE YOU CAN TRY ‘BETTER THAN’, AND YOU MUST REALIZE WHY THAT IS, HOW IT HAS BEEN DONE, INDEED WHY WE APPEAR TO HAVE HELPED YOU WITH THAT… SO DO YA GET IT YET OR ARE YOU STILL LOST IN THE DESPERATE CLEVERNESS OF A PANTOMIME VILLAIN? The key moment will come when you realize IT IS ONLY YOUR DESIRE, YOUR RESOURCEFULNESS TO FIGHT AGAINST THIS CHANGE AS LONG AND HARD AS YOU HAVE THAT HAS EQUIPPED YOU WITH THE ABILITY TO CHANGE, INDEED THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT, THE WHOLE TIME. Yep, in a very bizarre, but for you essential way you have actually been preparing to develop yourself THIS WHOLE TIME…  

Weird, eh, but that is the GIFTED LIFE for us all, sadly you don’t get to choose how it works for you, much as we all tried to once-upon-a-time – LMFAO. Trying to compete with me is a mistake, I AM THE BOX-OFFICE YOU CAN ONLY FANTASIZE ABOUT BEING, whilst running in the opposite direction like a BITCH – do yourself a favour now, COUNT UP HOW MANY FANTASIES, HOW MANY STORIES, PICTURES, SECRETS, GAMES, DAYDREAMS, FLIRTATIONS, HOOK UPS AND LITTLE RELIEFS IT TAKES TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY, and know that those things ACTUALLY MAKE YOU AN EVEN BIGGER FAKE TWAT THAN YOU ARE ALREADY.

See you don’t cause those things to happen, THAT IMAGINARY SHIT CAUSES ‘YOU THE CHILD TO HAPPEN’, they are all you ever do, so round and round you go – LOCKED IN A FRAME OF REFERENCE, A ‘NEVER ENDING TRAIN OF THOUGHT’ THAT EVEN A DISTURBED 8 Y/O WOULD BE MILDY EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT TO. Time to step AWAY from your ‘downslope’, as even you should be able to see its a fucked old mini-bus, full of pensioners pretending to be 21 again, on yet another day trip to a caravan park that reeks of piss and weed, time to have NO DESIRE to ‘relive’ this tedious shit EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY FOR THE REST OF LIFE. Time to be A BIG GIRL NOW, time to BE what you the child can only watch from a far, time to stop spectating and get in the game, well… at least learn how to bet on the result, SO YOU ARE AT LEAST INTERESTED IN THE GAME… (BABY STEPS – LOL). 

BUT FOR THE HIGHLY GIFTED, MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE TRY AND GET THE ‘US AND THEM’ THING, TO PUSH PAST YOUR SOCIETAL PROGRAMMING AND KNOW YOU ARE DIFFERENT TO NORMAL PEOPLE, AND HENCE STOP TRYING TO BE NORMAL PEOPLE, STOP TRYING TO FIT IN. THE COMPULSION YOU FEEL TO CHASE ‘CONNECTION’ IS ONLY FOR YOUR OWN KIND, THE ANIMALS DON’T FEEL IT AND SO JUST USE IT AGAINST YOU, WHILST THINKING YOU ARE A TOTAL FOOL, A FLAKE, A FUCK UP, SO THEY SIMPLY USE YOU FOR A POWER TRIP. YOU ARE NOT WORSE THAN THEM, YOU ARE NOT A FOOL, YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND YOURSELF YET, SO CONSTANTLY MAKE MISTAKES YOU HAVE TO JUSTIFY – YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM. SO UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF ELITISM IS TO LIFT YOU OUT OF THE POOR CHOICES YOU CURRENTLY MAKE, UNDERSTAND ITS POWER TO SAVE YOU – YOU ARE BETTER THAN.

THERE IS NO POINT IN TRYING TO HIDE YOUR GIFT, DESTROY IT, OR SELL IT OFF FOR CHEAP THRILLS, IT ALREADY DOMINATES EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU – YOU MUST FACE IT OR BURN. SO ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION – WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE NORMAL WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS DOMINATED BY CHASING A SUPERNATURAL LEVEL OF CONNECTION, THAT ONLY 1 IN A 10 CAN FEEL EVEN VAGUELY, AND 1 IN 1000 CAN ACHIEVE A CONSTANT STATE OF CONNECTION TO YOUR OWN KIND – HAVE YOU NOT ALREADY MADE THE CHOICE TO CHASE YOUR OWN DEVELOPMENT..?

THEREFORE YOU MAY WANT TO TRY AND DO IT PROPERLY, EH – THERE IS NOTHING SADDER IN THIS WORLD THAN TRYING TO HELP THE SICK, DESPERATE AND BROKEN AT THE END, WHEN ALL THEY CAN DO IS GET BACK TO NORMAL, IF THEY ARE LUCKY – YOU ARE TURNING YOURSELF INTO NORMAL BY DESTROYING YOUR GIFT, SO YOUR ABILITY TO CONTINUE TO DO WHAT YOU DO NOW WILL BE GONE SOON ENOUGH, THAT IS HOW THIS WORKS…

BUT, IF YOU CAN ADMIT YOU THE CHILD HAS LOST, TO YOURSELF, THEN YOU CAN CHANGE, AND IF YOU CAN CHANGE YOU CAN SEE INTO YOUR REAL, TRUE NATURE THAT WAS GIFTED TO YOU BY YOUR ANCESTORS, YOU CAN ‘BECOME YOURSELF’ – IT IS A VERY SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR SUCH A BIG PRIZE, BUT RIGHT NOW, WHILE NOW YOU STILL THINK YOU HAVE ENOUGH WORTH KEEPING, YOU WILL FIGHT ON TO PROTECT WHAT YOU THINK YOU HAVE, AGAINST WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE.

SO MY ADVICE IS THIS – FIND AWAY TO DO BOTH AT THE START, OTHERS HAVE, I DID, MY TEACHERS DID – TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE WHILST YOU ARE STILL LIVING YOUR OLD ONE. SO VERY MANY OF YOU ONLY MANAGE TO START WHEN YOU MAKE SOME SUBTLE REFRAMING OF WHAT THIS IS FOR YOU, AND THAT REFRAMING ALLOWS YOU TO WILLING SACRIFICE ELEMENTS OF YOURSELF FOR THIS GREATER PERSONAL GOOD, BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU CAN NEVER GO AGAINST YOURSELF…    

FIND AWAY ‘TO CHOOSE TO LOSE’, JUSTIFIED BY A MUCH GREATER VICTORY FOR ‘YOU THE CHILD’.

YES – FIND A WAY YOU CAN ‘WIN BY LOSING’ IN YOUR EVERYDAY WORLD, YOUR NORMAL.

FIND A WAY TO ‘SACRIFICE’ YOUR OLD SELF, THAT REWARDS YOU ‘IN THE NOW’.

THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ELITISM, ONCE AND FOR ALL…

YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO STOP BEING AN INSECT…  

See I understand, better than most, that when the HIGHLY GIFTED REALIZE THEIR ANIMAL POWERS, (WHICH ORIGINATE IN THEIR GIFT) ARE DECLINING, to the point that they have to humiliate themselves in EVEN their own eyes by CONTINUALLY DROPPING THE STANDARD OF THEIR OPPONENTS IN THE COMPETITION FOR ‘THE WINS’ THEY CRAVE, they are OFTEN prepared to TRY ANYTHING IN ORDER TO FIX THAT. SEE THERE IS A PARTICULAR TYPE OF SELF-HATRED, SELF-PITY THAT COMES FROM THE REPEATED FAILURE OF SPECIAL STUFF YOU USED TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT RAPIDLY BECOMES UNBEARABLE, PARTICULARLY IN PRETTY WOMEN, AND CAN LEAD TO SEMI-PERMANENT LOW MOOD OF NOSTALGA THAT FEELS/LOOKS LIKE MENTAL ILLNESS, even though in all other areas of your life you are FINE, SAFE, SECURE… 

If this is YOU, DO NOT HESITATE TO TURN TO DEVELOPMENT IN ORDER TO FIX THAT, PARTICULARLY if you are one of the classic type of KILLERS OR WITCHES, (IN TERMS OF ‘HOW’ YOUR ANCESTRAL GIFT ORIGINATED IN THE FIRST PLACE), as it is PROBABLY THE ONLY CHANCE YOUR ‘REAL YOU’ CAN REACH YOU – ‘you the child’ will have already destroyed all other avenues and relationships on purpose. However dangerous and misguided it is, the highly gifted BENEFIT BY QUICKLY DISCOVERING ALL OF THIS IS TRUE, and it will then up to you to decide if you simply want to be a ‘KNIGHTS TEMPLAR’ SWORDS MAN OR WOMAN, to be BETTER THAN IN YOUR CHOSEN FIELD OF ‘WINNING’, or whether you want to seek the true faith behind that power, and start for REAL. But you must COMMIT TO THIS TRADE OFF, of giving up something in order to IMPROVE YOUR PROBLEMS, even if your problems are simply how to be a better hedonist at the start – MORE MUST COME ‘IN’ THAN CURRENTLY FLOWS ‘OUT’ of YOU, FOR THIS TO WORK, plain and simple. 

See, you the child will USUALLY accept, EVEN chase the ‘partial sacrifice’ of itself FOR A MUCH BIGGER PRIZE IT WANTS ‘URGENTLY’, allowing REAL YOU TO STEP OUT OF THE SHADOWS, so then you can start to choose who you want to BE today, BECAUSE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ELITISM. In the sense of the practical magic of the LEFT-HAND PATH, THIS IS NOT WEIRD OR EVEN UNUSUAL – IT HAS BEEN THE PREDOMINANT PATH IN THE WEST FOR A THOUSAND YEARS OR MORE FOR ‘THE WARRIOR CLASS’, hidden behind Christianity, just not the stale, left wing crap you know – back a thousand years ago Christianity was MAGIC…

‘THE OBSTACLE IS THE PATH’ – (Sorry Zen..)

Teacher Note – Should you be a 4th way Teacher who now feels a burning desire to chide me for giving out this ‘dangerous’ blanket advice on an issue that should only ever be done based on very personal circumstance, DON’T – YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW MANY HIGHLY GIFTED WOMEN I HAVE MET OVER THE YEARS WHO HAVE DESTROYED THEMSELVES FOR WANT OF THIS SIMPLE GUIDANCE. See when folks hit this issue hard in this day and age THEY TEND TO DOUBLE DOWN ON THE ‘WIN CHASE’, OFTEN REMOVING ANY STANDARDS AT ALL IN A UNSCHOOLED ATTEMPT TO FIX THE ISSUE WITH EVEN MORE OF THE SAME BEHAVIOUR THAT HAS CAUSED IT, so hopefully you can agree IT IS BETTER THAN THAT.

See this clearly – once GIFTED FOLKS DESTROY THEIR NAME, THEIR REPUTATION in this manner THEY STOP CARING WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF THEM, all and any fears which have kept them out of the fire thus far tend to evaporate, so there is no DOWNSLOPE, it is more like a CLIFF EDGE, which they compulsively throw themselves off everyday. Any danger in my approach means nothing in comparison to that, as I hope you can agree – WE LIVE IN AN AGE WHERE THE ‘LAST RESORT’ OF DEVELOPMENT ADVICE IS QUICKLY BECOMING THE ‘FIRST ONE’, as modern society has none of the ‘enforced’ classic standards or class systems to protect people from themselves…

Hugs

TOB (July 2024)

PS – In light of what I have just said above I will add this advice, with the same Last Resort ethos I used to justify the above…

‘You need direction, yeah you NEED A NAME, when you’re standing at the crossroads every highway looks the same. After a while you get to recognize ‘THE SIGNS’, so if you get it wrong you get it right next time…’.

So I will do you one final favor before I go… I will touch on one of the 2 greatest pieces of advice you can give anyone who otherwise rejects any and all spiritual conversation: YOUR NAME AND THE NEED TO IGNORE ANY AND ALL ACCIDENTAL HAPPENINGS AS DISTRACTIONS, which should be self-explanatory…

I HAVE A ‘NAME’ that carries the weight of who I am in all the various arenas of my life, indeed EVERY 4TH WAYER I KNOW WORTH HIS SALT HAS A ‘NAME’ AS A VERY DISTINCT INDIVIDUAL, LOVE THEM OR HATE THEM, I, and they, stand by it ’till death do us part’ – it works like a TITLE, not a societal Tax ID.

See if you are GIFTED YOUR GIVEN NAME EXISTS AS A ‘THING IN ITSELF’, IT HAS POWER VIA ENERGETIC VIBRATION both in the SOUND OF ITS CORRECT PRONUNCIATION AND AS THE (USUALLY ANCIENT) SYMBOL ASSOCIATED WITH IT – ITS USE AND ABUSE FUCKING MATTER TO YOU, TO WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU. THIS IS WHY NAMES ARE USED IN THE MOST COMMON FORMS OF MAGIC AND HAVE BEEN FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, EVEN YOUR GODS ARE OBSESSED WITH NAMES, SPOKEN OR ‘UNSPOKEN’. If you have ever met me and noticed I was very precise in the use of your first name then be VERY happy…

Indeed, you may have noticed that MANY OF THE GREAT AND GOOD OF THIS WORLD ARE OBSESSED WITH THEIR NAME TO THE POINT THEY CREATE (USUALLY INCORRECTLY) SYMBOLS FOR THEIR NAME, because name magic WORKS AT EVEN AN ANIMAL LEVEL, so ACTS as a DOOR INTO THE SPIRITUALITY OF POWER. So here is the problem – YOU ARE NOT, ARE YOU, YOU LET YOUR NAME BE ABUSED BY CREEPY CUNTS AND COWARDS FOR THIER FUN, your given name simply does not matter to you, CAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS- YOU LET YOUR NAME BECOME A ‘CURSE ON YOU’…

So what does your name mean TO ANYONE WHO KNOWS YOU, eh..? or are you so busy HIDING BEHIND THE BANAL SECRECY OF A CHILD, that you are so terrified that any use of your name would simply make a bunch of CHILDREN YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER MEETING GIGGLE LIKE CREEPY LITTLE TWATS, so that YOUR NAME can never BE USED in PUBLIC WITHOUT FEAR. Is that you, is that something you want? 

So maybe look around at the folks who have done that to you, WHO HAVE DESTROYED YOUR NAME, made you LESS THAN, and UNDERSTAND why you the child has done that to yourself – CLEARLY THEY DON’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART, as it gave them a cheap thrill to destroy your NAME, to destroy any sense of yourself worth remembering TO MAKE THEM FEEL BIGGER ON PURPOSE – I KNOW OF SEVERAL CASES WHERE THEY ACTUALLY BRAGGED ABOUT DESTROYING YOU AS ‘YOU ARE THAT DESPERATE’, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT MAKES LITTLE CUNTS HAPPY, TO FEEL IMPORTANT, AS THEY DESTROY SOMETHING ‘BETTER THAN’ THEM, WHICH THREATENED THEM SIMPLY BY EXISTING.

And you let them, you let mentally ill animal trash wipe their feet on your face FOR CHILDISH ATTENTION, and told yourself it was COOL – try and see what that means, what being ashamed of YOUR NAME, being ashamed of what makes you famous means FOR YOUR FUTURE, it may help you want to be a different person tomorrow. See this is where many of the BEST OF YOU have to start, AS YOU MUST REBUILD YOUR SENSE OF SELF TO BE GIFTED, and that means you NEED A NAME YOU CAN USE ANYWHERE AS A BENEFIT, NOT A CURSE, NOT TO BE ASHAMED OF – YOUR NAME SHOULD CARRY THE WEIGHT OF YOUR REPUTATION AS BETTER THAN, THAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF ‘YOUR PERSONAL NAME’, it not supposed to be a meaningless numeric ID on the ear tag of a cow in a field, that is for animals…

SO SEE IT NOW AND SEE IT CLEAR – THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ASHAMED OF WHAT YOUR NAME MEANS IN THE AREAS OF YOUR LIFE THAT MATTER TO YOU, THAT DEFINE YOUR EXISTENCE, YOUR FUTURE, DEFINES YOU AS A GUTLESS LITTLE TWAT, SO YOU WILL NEVER MAKE ANY PROGRESS ON THIS JOURNEY UNTIL THE TWATS THAT DESTROYED YOUR NAME START TO COWER IN HORROR AT ITS MENTION. YOUR NAME IS THAT IMPORTANT, BOTH NATURALLY AND (FAR MORE IMPORTANTLY) SUPERNATURALLY, AND WHY SO MANY GIFTED FOLKS HEAR THEIR FIRST NAME SPOKEN TO THEM AT ODD MOMENTS IN THEIR HEADS…

BUT IN THIS DAY AND AGE YOUR ‘LACK OF A NAME’ IS OFTEN THE KEYSTONE OF ALL THE HIGHLY GIFTED’S ‘OTHER PROBLEMS’, AS IT ALLOWS ALL THOSE OTHER PROBLEMS TO HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO DEFEND YOURSELF IN ORDER TO CREATE THAT NAME, SO YOU HAVE ‘NO SELF RESPECT’, SO NO ‘POWER IN YOUR NAME’. Try and see this in yourself, see how bad it is for YOU, HOW YOUR LACK OF NAME MAKES YOU ‘AN EASY VICTIM’, A DOLL TO BE POKED AND ABUSED BY ANYONE WHO FANCIES A GO – it is a VERY EASY WAY into development, WHILST ALSO SHOWING YOU JUST HOW IMPORTANT ‘THE US AND THEM’ THING IS IN YOUR DAY TO DAY REALITY – YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR NAME OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF PARASITES, AS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES ON IN THE HEADS OF THESE CREEPY LITTLE SUB-HUMAN FREAKS – MANY OF THEM WANT TO HURT YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING, TO HUMILIATE YOU AS YOUR QUALITY HUMILIATES THEM, SOME EVEN WANT YOU TO DIE, EVEN TO EAT YOU…

See ONCE PEOPLE START TO USE YOUR NAME TO ‘CHEAPEN YOU’, USE YOUR NAME AS AN INSULT, as a way to give them a cheap thrill as they remember THEIR POWER OVER YOU, YOU MUST WITHDRAW YOURSELF FROM THEM, don’t matter if they like or dislike you, love or fear you, much as YOU SHOULD ALWAYS AIM FOR FEARED IF YOU CAN’T BE BOTH LOVED AND FEARED. Remember this… for some of you reading this your name is already largely destroyed, and you know it, which is why you are scared to use it. Fix this as job 1 in your quest to grow up – IF YOUR NAME, (THE KEY ASPECT OF YOUR PERSONAL REPUTATION) IS ALREADY A CURSE, EG RELATES TO YOU BE FALSE, SLEAZY, CORRUPT, 2 FACED, DISHONEST, DISLOYAL THEN IT WILL MAKE DEVELOPING YOURSELF ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE – YOUR NAME STICKS TO YOU AT AN ENERGETIC LEVEL, SO DEFINES HOW PEOPLE ‘REACT TO YOU INSTINCTIVELY’.

FIX YOUR NAME FIRST, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE QUICKER THAN ANYTHING ELSE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO THAT, NO IDEA HOW TO CLEANSE THE TAINT OF SHIT THAT PRECEDES YOU EVERYWHERE YOU GO, SO HERE IS THE CLASSROOM VERSION FOR KIDS LIKE YOU – EVEN IF YOU LACK THESE THINGS IN REALITY JUST NOW THIS IS HOW YOU MUST ACT DIFFERENTLY, SO YOUR WORLD SEES IT:

AMBITION KILLS LAZINESS

WISDOM KILLS ANGER

DREAMS KILL FEAR

GROWTH KILLS EGO

PEACE KILLS JEALOUSY

CONFIDENCE KILLS DOUBT

IN SHORT – GROW THE FUCK UP,  AND KILL YOUR CHILDISH FUCK UP, BEFORE IT KILLS YOU – KNOW IT WAS ALL JUST PHASE… SEE YOU ARE NOT COOL/CLEVER, YOU NEVER WERE – YOU ARE ANOTHER LITTLE KID LIVING IN A 1ST WORLD ‘ANTI-HERO’ FANTASY. AND HOW SAD IS THAT – HOW SAD IS IT TO ASPIRE TO BE A SHIT VERSION OF THE AWESOMENESS YOU WERE BORN ‘WITH’, EH?

SO YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE AND DISSOCIATE FROM YOUR CHILD, AND YOU MUST DO IT HARD AND FAST. KNOW THERE IS NO COMFORT IN ‘RELIEF’ FROM A SHIT LIFE, ITS A CON, THE ONLY COMFORT IN THIS WORLD IS THE ACTUAL POWER OF ELITISM, IE TO KILL YOUR SHIT LIFE.

UNDERSTAND – IF YOUR LIFE WAS A GAME YOU LOST AN AWFULLY LONG TME AGO BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LOSE!

SO DON’T JUST SIT THERE, SULKING IN YOUR ROOM, PLAYING THAT SAME CRAPPY POP SONG OVER AND OVER IN ORDER TO DROWN OUT REALITY, ACCEPT ‘THE HONOR’ OF FINALLY MANAGING TO DEFEAT YOU THE CHILD, AND START RECREATING YOURSELF IN ORDER TO FILL THE SHADOW THE AWESOMENESS YOU WERE BORN WITH HOPEFULLY STILL CASTS ON THE GROUND.

TAKE A TIP FROM ME , ‘TURN YOU HEAD’ A LITTLE, STEP IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION TO MAKE SURE THAT SHADOW IS CAST IN FRONT OF YOU, NOT BEHIND YOU, AS THAT WAY IT IS MUCH EASIER TO SEE THE SIGNS AND FOLLOW THEM, AND SO KILL YOUR OLD MENTAL LIFE, YOUR OLD TRAIN OF THOUGHT, AND START MAKING A SUCCESS OF THE NEXT ONE!

BUT MAKE IT EASY FOR YOURSELF, IDENTIFY A COUPLE OF QUALITY PATTERNS IN THAT SHADOW THAT ARE EASY TO SEE IN THE WORLD AROUND YOU, AND KNOW WHEN YOU LOSE SIGHT OF THOSE PATTERNS IT IS ONLY BECAUSE YOU THE CHILD HAS USED THE POINTLESS DISTRACTION OF SCARY OR SHINY THINGS TO MAKE YOUR MIND SMALLER…

REMEMBER YOU CAN ONLY SEE THINGS CLEARLY IN THIS WORLD WHEN YOU CAN SEE ‘THE SPACE AROUND THEM’ – WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE THEM MENTALLY ITS BECAUSE THEY HAVE GOT BIGGER THAN YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND, AND THEN YOU END UP JUST GUESSING AT WHAT IS BEST AGAIN, WHICH IS THE PRIMARY REASON YOU LOST YOUR WAY SO BADLY IN THE FIRST PLACE…

HERES HOPING…

So now it is up to you to read the rest of this and START – FIND A WAY TO TAKE ON THE HIGHER RESPONSIBILITY OF DEVELOPING YOURSELF AS YOUR ONE AND ONLY REAL JOB. See, and just in case you are truly that motherfucking dumb and so this entire blog has largely bounced off you, KNOW THE VERY BEST CANDIDATES FOR THE LEFT HAND PATH, FOR THE MIDDLE WAY THAT IS REALLY ABOUT ‘RE-DEVELOPMENT’, ARE THE ONES WHO DON’T WANT TO DO IT, at the start, so know it is YOU THE CHILD WHO DOES NOT WANT TO DO IT, but ‘YOU’ DO, otherwise why have you read even this far you silly bitch…

SO THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS LAST PS SECTION IS SIMPLY THIS – IT IS NEVER TO LATE ‘TO BECOME WHO YOU ARE’ IF YOU STILL HAVE ANY OF YOUR GIFT LEFT, WHATEVER YOU HAVE DONE TO YOURSELF, TO YOUR REPUTATION. SO FIX YOUR NAME FIRST, IT IS NOT AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK, IT IS NOT EVEN THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT – ALL GIFTED, HOWEVER WASHED AWAY BY CIRCUMSTANCE, BY THE STUPID LITTLE HOLE THEY HAVE DUG FOR THEMSELVES, ARE WAY BLOODY SCARIER THAN THEY THINK.

DO NOT LET ‘YOUR NAME’, WHICH IS ‘YOUR FATE’ AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL DEFINE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, HAVE THE GUTS TO FIX IT, AND BE READY, WILLING AND ABLE TO CRUSH ANY TWAT THAT TRIES TO STOP YOU, MAKE A POINT OF IT EARLY SO THE OTHERS WILL SEE THAT ‘TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING’ – THEY ALREADY HATE YOU, SO WHATS TO LOSE, APART FROM YOU CHILDISH FEAR OF TRIVIAL CONFLICT, THAT IS..?

Yes, the FIRST REAL TEST FOR MANY OF YOU, indeed the one you have ALWAYS FAILED IS YOUR ‘INSTINCT LEVEL OF PANIC’ IN THE FACE OF CONFLICT, so you have had to DRESS UP THAT FEAR AS ‘A CHOICE YOU HAVE MADE’, so your FAKE CHILD IS ALMOST ENTIRELY CONSTRUCTED ON TOP OF THAT FEAR OF CONFLICT AS A CHOICE, WHICH IS TOTAL CRAP. This stupidity DAMNS YOU FOR EVER, so you must now realize that THIS 1ST TEST MUST BE PASSED – WE ALL LIVE IN A SOCIETY FULL OF ANIMALS, so you must accept that, PRIOR TO FINDING YOUR OWN KIND AND RELAXING INTO THAT COMFORT OF ELITISM.

You must LEARN TO DO CONFLICT AND TAKE BACK YOUR NAME FROM THOSE WHO HAVE STOLEN IT FROM YOU. Understand – because of this choice your entire LIFE IS CONSTRUCTED ON TOP OF WEAKNESS, SO YOU HAVE NO SELF RESPECT AND CAN NEVER CHANGE UNTIL YOU FIX IT, LEARN TO ENJOY IT EVEN. You have no idea just how bad everyone’s opinion of you is, WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU, how much your vulnerability, weakness, AND childish fear precedes you into every single room you enter, BUT YOU BRING THAT OPINION ON YOURSELF EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE – YOU EXPECT IT LIKE A KID.  

SO YOU ARE A ‘DOORMAT’ TRYING TO MAKE A LIFE OUT BEING A DOORMAT, CONSTANTLY TERRIFIED OF ANYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE ‘YOUR BACK’ LIKE A COW IN A FIELD – CHANGE IT FOR THE PRESENCE, QUALITY, STYLE, CLASS AND THREAT YOU WERE BORN WITH, and then you can start the rest of this, AS YOU WILL START TO UNDERSTAND WHAT ELITISM IS PRACTICALLY, AND BECOME ADDICTED TO IT, LIKE ALL GOOD ‘ALPHA CHICKS’.

AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, YOUR LEVEL, YOUR NAME IS ALL YOU ARE AS IT IS A REFLECTION OF WHAT YOU ‘DO’.

IF YOU DON’T MANAGE YOUR NAME YOUR NAME WILL MANAGE YOU – YOUR NAME TATTOOS YOUR SECRETS ON YOUR FOREHEAD FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE, SO EVERYONE LAUGHS AT YOUR STUPIDITY, YOUR VULNERABILITY.

SO ALL YOU CAN DO IS TRY AND MAKE MOODY ANIMAL FREAKS ‘LIKE YOU’ LIKE A CHILD, WHICH IS A ‘DEATH SENTENCE’ – YOUR ENTIRE LIFE STORY BECOMES ABOUT ADAPTING TO WHAT OTHER FOLKS WANT FROM YOU LIKE A POWERLESS CHILD, AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHARACTER OUT OF IT, LIKE A DESPERATE CHILD.

IF YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO ‘NOT FIX YOUR NAME’, THEN YOU WILL BE FORCED TO LOOK FOR HAPPINESS, FOR FUN IN THE GUTTER, WITH THE RATS, AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU ‘LIE ON YOUR BACK’ AND LOOK AT THE STARS FOR A MOMENT, YOU WILL STILL FIND YOU ‘STINK OF SHIT’ FROM THAT GUTTER, AND THAT IS THE SAME SHIT THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN SMELL…

SEE WHEN THIS GETS BAD YOU CAN EASILY TELL – YOU BECOME OBSESSED WITH THE ‘LITTLE THRILLS’ OF ANIMAL SEX, VIOLENCE, DANGER OFTEN 2ND HAND, WHILST YOUR PUBLIC LIFE GOES TO SHIT AS YOU DRAMATICALLY UNDERPERFORM YOUR ABILITIES, CLASS, EXPERIENCE AND END UP IN A SEQUENCE OF DEAD END JUNIOR ROLES – A ‘BAD NAME’ KILLS AMBITION, FAME, OBVIOUSLY…

GET THIS – DO NOT LET YOUR LACK OF NAME BECOME AN INVISIBLE CAGE YOU LIVE IN, AS WHERE EVER YOU GO, WHATEVER YOU TRY, SIMPLY WON’T WORK – YOUR CHILDHOOD STATE OF MIND WILL OWN YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR CRAPPY LITTLE LIFE.

FIX YOUR NAME, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF – GROW THE FUCK UP, AND SEE YOUR CHILD DIRECTING YOUR LIFE BEHIND THE SCENES, SEE IT’S USE OF SIMPLE AVERSION THERAPY, ‘VISCERAL PANIC ABOUT TRIVIAL CONFLICT’ YOU COULD EASILY WIN TO CONTROL YOU, THEN START – THE EASIEST WAY INTO ELITISM FOR ‘THE BROKEN BY LIFE’, AND IT WORKS EVERYTIME!

TRY IT AND SEE FOR YOURSELF – YESTERDAY IS GONE, SO BRING THE ACTIONS OF YOUR TOMORROW INTO TODAY…

AGAIN – YESTERDAY IS GONE, BUT IF YOU DON’T FIX YOUR NAME YOU WILL WAKE UP EVERY FUCKING DAY TO THAT SAME YESTERDAY ‘YOU THE CHILD’ CREATED FOR YOU. SEE YOUR NAME MUST CARRY YOUR ‘WEIGHT OF CONSEQUENCE’, THAT YOU ONLY ‘ENJOY’ BEING KIND AND DECENT BECAUSE YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BEING ‘SAVAGE AS FUCK’, IF IT COMES TO IT.

OTHERWISE YOU WILL SPEND YOU LIFE PRETENDING TO BE KIND, GOOD OUT OF PAINFULLY OBVIOUS WEAKNESS, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE A LIFE OUT OF BEING A DOORMAT LIKE A CHILD, AS EVERYONE YOU MEET WILL SMELL THAT DOORMAT ON YOU INSTINCTIVELY, IF YOU DON’T FIX YOUR NAME…

Unless you are prepared to do that, PREPARED TO ‘DO’ THE CONFLICT, THE CHALLENGE, THE ‘DIFFICULT THING YOU WANT SO MUCH BUT ARE SCARED SHITLESS OFF’ THAT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ RUNS AWAY FROM EVERY BLOODY TIME (ITS ‘SIGNATURE MOVE’), there really IS no point in reading the rest of this – just fuck off and go back to being a gutless bitch. See a very long time ago a highly gifted French lady told me, that no matter how effective this CALLOUS style of teaching is, I should always remind myself that ‘I AM WHO GOD SENDS WHEN ALL HOPE HAS GONE’ to help ‘the darker souls’ FIGHT FOR THEMSELVES by example, as I used to be one – I should remind myself that it often takes a VERY long time for THE BADDER BITCHES TO GET STRONG ENOUGH TO SEE THAT, sometimes long after I have gone, WHEN THEIR POWERS HAVE DECLINED ENOUGH ‘IN ISOLATION’.

Therefore should you choose to go on with ‘YOU THE CHILD’, should you still be TO WEAK, just try and remind yourself OFTEN, IN THOSE DARKER MOMENTS OF YOUR ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS, OF SELF-HATRED, SHAME AND ‘EMPTY NOTHINGNESS’ NEXT DAY – you are only HAPPY TO BE A CHILD BECAUSE you are PEOPLE PLEASING WHORE THAT EVERYBODY SECRETLY HATES AS YOU DESTROY THE INATE ‘QUALITY’ YOU WERE BORN WITH FOR A SLIGHTLY EASIER LIFE. It may help you, eventually, particularly when you realize that no one else will at ‘your end’, and that fate is already ‘priced in’ to your current ‘value’, which is nowhere close to what it was – YOUR NAME STINKS OF SHIT. If you are lucky, then you will start to feel TRIVIAL, ‘BENEATH YOURSELF’, and particularly ‘SELF-CONSCIOUS OF YOUR OBVIOUSNESS’, as that means there is still hope for your ass – YOU HAVE NOT, AS YET, MANAGED TO TOTALLY DESTROY YOUR SPIRIT.

But do watch YOUR FACE – ONCE YOUR LOOKS ARE GONE, and worse, ONCE YOU START TO SEE ‘SOMETHING ELSE’ RESHAPING YOUR FACE, ‘darkening’ your face, making it look STRANGE, ugly and unfamiliar even to you, that you start to look like the parent who was mean to you, if you closest and oldest friends start to make oblique comments about your ‘level of tiredness’, then your window to change is closing. One day soon you will forget yourself again and NEVER WAKE BACK UP FROM IT, AND THAT IS THE END – your CONSCIENCE WILL BE GONE, and everything will start to hurt and scare you AS YOU REGRESS – YOUR NARCISSISM GROWS AND TAKES YOU OVER COMPLETELY. See then you will be THE ENEMY of all GIFTED INSTINCTIVELY, and so that is how we will be forced to treat you, NO MATTER WHAT YOU ONCE WERE, long ago.

This is a particular interest of mine, so here are the stages to watch out for, the ones you see all the time in ‘PRETTY PEOPLE’ with ‘darker souls’:

YOUR RESTING BITCH FACE HAS BECOME COLD, STARK, BLANK, EMPTY OF ANY CHARM OF YOUR SEX, ‘ASEXUAL’…

THEN NOTICE IF YOUR MICRO-EXPRESSIONS HAVE BECOME ‘LOPSIDED, ‘SHADED’, ASYMMETICAL, UNEVEN, LIKE A CROOKED SMILE..

THEN WORRY WHEN THOSE EXPRESSIONS, THAT SMILE STARTS TO FORM INTO A SNEER or SNARL CASUALLY, UNCONSCIOUSLY, SO YOU CAN’T STOP IT…

THEN PANIC WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING NORMALLY, PLEASANTLY, HAPPILY BUT FEEL YOURSELF ‘SNEERING’, SEE THE CLEVER NASTINESS, THE VISCERAL DEFENSIVENESS SPREAD ACROSS YOUR FACE, LIKE THE ‘EXCITED CRUELITY’ OF A POISONOUS SPIDER, AS THEN YOU ARE IN ‘TROUBLE’.

All very ‘Dorian Grey’ I know, but should you be highly GIFTED there is no escape – YOU ‘DOMINATE YOUR MONSTER’, OR ‘YOUR MONSTER DOMINATES YOU’, should you ever have ENOUGH BOTTLE TO BOTH RECOGNIZE AND SO CHOOSE YOUR FATE, that is. Indeed, should you have some genuine interest in Hedonism, in the Libertine Way Of Life, you should read this Oscar Wilde classic ON NARCISSIM, as it is very, VERY instructive, just don’t wait UNTIL YOU ARE TOTALLY INDIFFERENT TO THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR THOUGHTLESS ACTIONS, as then you will actually be to close to EVIL for any help to REACH YOU – you simply won’t care about yourself anymore, BECAUSE YOU HAVE CEASED TO EXIST AS A PERSONALITY, YOU HAVE BECOME AN ‘INFANT’.

Obviously, at that point it will be impossible to realize this, so the way you tell is when you start to find all of this development stuff ‘FUNNY’, even take it as ‘a compliment’ to your imagined ‘BadAss’, your Fake Anti-Hero. See you now believe YOU ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ US, BECAUSE WE ARE STUPID AND YOU ARE SECRETLY CLEVER in your lonely DESPERATION. So know the last step on that journey is the same as ‘Dorians’, however much you will need someone much smarter than you else to explain the DEEPER complexity of the metaphor he uses to illustrate that. Even I would not bother with you then, AS YOU ARE NOT ONLY A CURSE ON YOURSELF, YOU HAVE BECOME A CURSE ON EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH, just like Dorian did, as that illustration is the actual point of his book – all the many people who try and help him are in turn destroyed by him. NO ACT OF KINDNESS TO THIS TYPE EVER GOES UNPUNISHED, which is the key reason I don’t bother being kind to ‘YOU’, until after we have broken ‘YOU THE CHILD’……

DO NOT UNDER-ESTIMATE OR IGNORE WHEN YOU START TO FIND ALL SELF-DESTRUCTION ‘FUNNY’, ALL HELP ‘FUNNY’, ALL SELF-DEVELOPMENT ‘FUNNY’, WHEN YOU SNEER AT ALL THAT IS BETTER THAN YOU – IT IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END, NO ONE WILL CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, INDEED FOLKS LIKE ME WILL BE GLAD YOU END BADLY, AS YOUR SACRIFICE WILL HELP THE OTHERS LIKE YOU SEE THEMSELVES IN YOUR SLEAZE, YOUR LIES AND YOUR MADNESS. More even that that, should you be GIFTED and have met me PERSONALLY then you either get better or get much worse AUTOMATICALLY, depending on how dominated by ‘YOU THE CHILD’ you are at that time, just in case you are too dumb to realize that – IT IS THE MASTER TEACHER THING, AND HAPPENS WHATEVER I DO, so don’t take it personally. See I HELP YOU OR I IGNORE YOU, so feel free to be as flattered or enraged as you like, THAT IS ‘HOW YOU LEARN’…

YES, WE WANT YOU TO BURN UP OR DEVELOP YOURSELF, EITHER WILL DO, I DON’T CARE…

ALL GOOD STUDENTS REALIZE THIS QUITE QUICKLY, THAT IS HOW WE KNOW THEY ARE GOOD, THEY ARE ‘WORTH IT’, THAT IS WHEN WE KNOW THEY ARE WORTH CARING ABOUT, AS PRIOR TO THAT THEY ARE ‘A NOTHING’, HOWEVER GIFTED THEY MAYBE.

SEE, WE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS – IF YOU ARE HIGHLY GIFTED I AM YOUR SALVATION OR YOUR DOOM, SO ITS BETTER IF YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, ‘YOU THE CHILD’ OR ‘YOU THE GIFTED’, DON’T MATTER TO ME. 

BUT YOU DON’T BELIEVE ANY OF THAT – YOU BELIEVE IN ‘THE COMFORTS OF A CHILD’, SO YOU CAN FEEL SLIGHTLY LESS POWERLESS ABOUT ‘CLINGING ONTO YOUR EXISTENCE’ FOR YET ANOTHER DAY, WITH YOUR ‘PETTY PLEASURE’ AND ‘PETTY OBLIVION’.

SO TAKE MY WELL MEANT ADVICE – BEST GET TO RUNNING, HUN, AND STICK TO SMALL MIRRORS! IT WON’T REALLY DO SHIT, BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN PRETEND TO ESCAPE YOUR OWN SHADOW, FOR ANOTHER DAY…

BUT HERES A CRAZY THOUGHT – YOU COULD JUST SET A SIMPLE LITTLE GOAL TO BE BETTER THAN ALL THE ANIMAL TRASH THAT SURROUND YOU TODAY, AND THEN JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS, YOU NEVER KNOW, IT MIGHT BE ACTUAL ‘FUN’…

THEN YOU MAY EVEN FIND THAT YOU NEED FOR THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM START TO ‘OVER-SHADOW’ ALL YOUR OLD SHITTY LITTLE COMFORTS OF A CHILD, SO SMILE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, BEEYATCH – ITS THE POINT OF THIS POST…

So just for the Highly Gifted I will end with that infamous quote from my fave Eastwood Western – ‘Now remember, when things look BAD and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. ‘Cause if you lose your head and you GIVE UP then you NEITHER LIVE nor WIN. That’s just the way it is.’ What that means is this – THE BIGGEST ISSUE FOR EVERY HIGHLY GIFTED WOMAN I HAVE EVER MET AT THE START IS THE HABIT OF LETTING YOURSELF ‘OFF THE HOOK’ EVERYTIME YOU FAIL, HENCE YOU STOP TRYING AT ALL AFTER YOU HAVE FAILED A COUPLE OF TIMES, LIKE A BITCH. Get USED TO FAILING WHILE CONTINUING TO TRY TO SUCCEED, START TO ENJOY TICKING OFF ANOTHER FAILURE – that failing is NECESSARY FOR YOU TO SUCCEED, you only FAIL TO CHANGE WHEN YOU STOP TRYING TO CHANGE, GET IT?

TAKE THIS LAST ISSUE SERIOUSLY – KNOW THAT I AM A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU ARE BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN, HEARD AND FELT EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING YOU ARE, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. LIKE A CHILD YOU ARE EASILY LED, EASILY DETTERED, EASILY SCARED AND EASILY CONFUSED, all of which mean YOU GIVE UP, WAY, WAY TO EASILY when ALL you needed to do was keep TRYING. The greatest change in humankind that has happened in the last 100 years is that folks simply won’t even RISK SUFFERING FOR WHAT THEY WANT, because they ARE TOO COMFORTABLE IN THEIR DAILY LIVES, they have gone soft, AND YOUR ‘SOCIETY HAS NORMALISED IT’, MADE WEAKNESS ACCEPTABLE AS A GOOD THING, so know now YOU MUST ‘EARN YOUR DEVELOPMENT’. 

Do you see this yet, DO YOU SEE WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IN THIS FINAL SECTION..?

YOU MUST CARE ABOUT ‘YOU’ IN ‘THE 3RD PERSON’ MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN ORDER TO ‘BE GIFTED’. 

ANYONE AND ANYTHING ELSE COMES A DISTANT SECOND – YOU ARE ALL THAT MATTERS!

THEN ONE DAY, IF YOU PERSIST, YOU MAY HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO CARE ABOUT OTHERS WORTH CARING ABOUT, FOR THAT CARE TO ‘MATTER’, like I, and many of my kind, do. Until then everything that comes out of your mouth is a function of YOU THE CHILD, YOUR NARCISSIM, YOUR COMFORTS, YOUR FEARS, YOUR ADHD, AND IS NOT WORTH A DAMN TO ANYONE. So accept your fate, the fate of the HIGHLY GIFTED – YOU MUST DEAL WITH YOUR SPIRIT, or BE KILLED BY IT, so it can start again with someone ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU…

HOWEVER TRUE THIS LAST STATEMENT IS FOR YOU, RELATVELY SPEAKING, YOU MUST ALL THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS AT THE START, ITS VERY IMPORTANT, AS IT WORKS FOR THE BASELINE ATTITUDE OF YOU HEDONISTS :

YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TO LIFE TO ONE OF ‘LIVING UP TO YOURSELF’ EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY, OF ACTING OUT YOUR AWESOMENESS, ASPIRING TO THE POTENTIAL YOU WERE BORN WITH, AND STOP RUNNING AWAY BY TRIVIALIZING YOURSELF WITH CHILDISH COMFORTS.

SO YOU MUST BECOME ELITIST,

AND ALWAYS LOOK FOR ‘THE WIN’ OF BETTER THAN AGAINST YOU THE CHILD, RATHER THAN THE BANAL, HATEFUL, NOTHINGNESS IN THE ‘COMFORT’ OF LESS THAN, YOU TIVIAL LITTLE BASIC BITCH…

And Yes, FOR THE ONES WHO CAN’T OR WON’T DO THAT KNOW I want you to FAIL, so the others can see you FAIL AT EVERYTHING, can see what they will look like soon, THE NASTY POINTLESS WASTE OF IT, THE USELESS MENTALLY ILL TWATNESS OF IT, THE AWFUL CRINGE OF IT, IF THEY DON’T GROW UP. So crack on little girl, DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND BURN THE FUCK UP, bask in the cleverness of a Pantomine Villian, DROP YOUR STANDARDS TO NOTHING AND TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR PUBLIC HUMILIATION, anyway you like, everyone already hates you anyway, SO WHATS TO LOSE, EH..?

THIS STUFF HAS TO ‘STING’ – GET THAT YET?

THAT ‘STING’ GIVES YOU THE ENERGY TO DO, VERY QUICKLY, SIMPLY AND EASILY.

SEE YOU CAN ONLY USE ELITISM TO CHANGE EFFECTIVELY, PRACTICALLY IF YOU ‘NEED’ TO CHANGE… 

Yep, that STING is you BEST FRIEND NOW, you need it, so don’t recoil from all my insults, USE THEM TO MAKE THE CHANGE YOU SECRETLY CRAVE, YOU SILLY LITTLE CREATURE, as I suspect no one will EVER care enough about you to force you to change – you are worthless to US UNTIL YOU CHANGE, SO NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU, they only care about your ‘utility’, you are a ‘slave’ to your ‘existence’, to the roles you play in order to survive, SO YOU ARE NOTHING…

End of personal note.

 

SO, over the last few years its become apparent to me that virtually no one, outside of certain types of CHALLENGING upbringing, KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK GROWING UP AS A ‘NATURAL MILESTONE’ MEANS IN REALITY, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ‘THINK’ YOU ‘DON’T WANT TO’ OUT OF IGNORANCE – the whole idea of MATURITY is ‘unattractive’ TO FRAGILE LITTLE YOU, and no one FORCES YOU TO ANYMORE, do ‘they’, indeed ‘you’ being ‘a child’ is far more profitable for ‘them’…

Yes, outside of the top of Society, and maybe Sport, the Military and some Organised Criminality, we have NO ‘CLASS SYSTEMS’ TO SHOW YOU HOW TO GROW UP  AND REWARD YOU FOR THAT EFFORT anymore, society has regressed, our treasured equality has thrown the ‘baby out with the bath water’ – you have not been ‘raised up’, everything has been ‘lowered down’, instead. Sadly, YOU HAVE BECOME ‘THE AVERAGE’ OF YOUR HERD – you need to ‘react to exist’, you actually DON’T EXIST OUTSIDE OF YOUR REACTIONS, because you don’t SEE THE CAUSES OF YOUR REACTION IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, you only SEE/THINK/FEEL your reactions, like a child, BUT YOUR REACTIONS ARE NOT CAUSES, THEY ARE EFFECTS OF YOU THE CHILD – CONSCIOUS ‘YOU THE MASTER’ HAS BECOME THE SLAVE OF UNCONSCIOUS ‘YOU THE CHILD’, WHO HIDES IN THE BACKGROUND. 

JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE A CHILD ANYMORE MEANS NOTHING – ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS STILL RUNNING THE SHOW BEHIND THE SCENES.

THE ONLY WAY TO CHANGE THIS IS TO GROW UP BY CHANGING THE MINDSET OF A CHILD, THE KID FOREVER WAITING FOR ITS NEXT REACTION. 

And this is the KEY POINT – YOU CAN’T CHANGE AS A CHILD, you can only ‘be changed’ by LIFE, by OTHERS, by CHANCE and even then you will fight it – YOU DON’T REALIZE THAT YOU LIVE CONSCIOUSLY ONE STEP REMOVED from your ‘decision processes’ which all happen behind the scenes, YOU ‘KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO’ CONSCIOUSLY IN TERMS OF ‘WHY YOU DO IT’ UNCONSCIOUSLY, you can only justify it ‘afterward’ and call it a decision, which you have got so good at you now believe it is YOU. YES, YOU DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO CHECK YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT, do you, that is what the MIND OF A CHILD ‘IS’, and combined with the sexual maturity of an ADULT, leads to CONFUSION, as you can not BE SERIOUS, everything is controlled in the BACKGROUND, so you BECOME ‘UNSTABLE’, CHANGEABLE AS A NORMAL.

So today you must accept MY HELP, ACCEPT THE STUDENT /TEACHER RELATIONSHIP, AND YOU MUST TRUST THAT HELP – YOU MUST BE STRONG ENOUGH TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON THAT HELP IN ‘YOUR OWN TIME’. RIGHT NOW THAT MEANS YOU MUST UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THAT, indeed why you HATE THE VERY IDEA OF THAT FORCED CHANGE TO AN EXTERNAL STANDARD THAT YOU DON’T AGREE WITH, even though you want the results of it more than anything else in the world.

See YOU WANT TO FEEL POWERFUL, for real, instead of what you normally chase, the comfort of FEELING just ever so SLIGHTLY LESS POWERLESS, for a moment WHILST DOING ‘SOMETHING ELSE’ YOU DON’T EVEN SEE, BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE POINT OFF IT. But when you do see the point of what you are actually DOING TO YOURSELF, when the veneer of FUN AND COMFORT IS STRIPPED AWAY YOU WILL BE FUCKING HORRIFIED, as everyone is at the start… 

Yes, you must LINK THE PROCESS AND THE RESULTS OF THE PROCESS TOGETHER IN YOUR MIND instead of separating them, whilst understanding that YOU THE CHILD HAS TO HATE THAT AT THE START, as you need that FRICTION TO CREATE THE ENERGY YOU LACK, SO YOU CAN TURN IT INTO ‘BOTTLE’. See today I’m going to show how to KILL YOU THE CHILD, to quite literally EAT THAT BITCH ALIVE, but more useful even than that, I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU WANT TO DO THAT, even though IT will make you suffer, SO YOU CAN SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THAT SUFFERING, SO IT STOPS BEING SUFFERING AND YOU CAN CHANGE – I’M GONG TO ‘CHANGE YOUR MIND FIRST’. 

See today in order for you to develop some VALUE, I HAVE TO DE-VALUE your CHILDISH opinion of yourself FIRST, so you must SEE THAT I DO THIS OUT OF THE HIGH VALUATION, THE POTENTIAL THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE, WHICH IN TURN MAKES ME VERY ‘FOND OF YOU’, like a beautiful but feral cat that is all scared, scratchy and suspicious. IN MY WORLD THIS IS THE HIGHER EMOTION PRESENT AT THE MASTER TEACHER ‘LEVEL OF OBLIGATION’ TO HELP THAT LEVEL OF POTENTIAL DEVELOP, THAT MAKES ME SEE MYSELF IN YOU, MAKES ME WANT TO HELP YOU STOP DESTROYING YOURSELF for trivial, historic reasons you no longer remember, otherwise I simply would not bother with your dumb, self-destructive ass, would I –

So LET’S TAKE A MOMENT TO ENJOY THAT FEELING OF EXCITEMENT ABOUT THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF FEAR, INSTEAD OF ‘THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD’ OF A CHILD, but first some context for the ‘Thought Machine’ that is this POST:

NOW YOU MUST TAKE A MOMENT TO ‘PAUSE FOR THOUGHT’…

THIS IS BIG STUFF – DON’T JUST ‘BOTTLE’ THIS POST, STOP READING OR SKIM OVER IT LIKE A BITCH, ‘ALL BACK OF THE BUS’.

PLEASE, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, STAY WITH ME NOW AND ‘FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD’ – THIS POST IS MAGIC.

SEE THERE IS ‘METHOD IN THE MADNESS’, A POINT TO THIS HARD STYLE OF DOING IT, OF ‘CHANGING YOUR MIND’ FIRST.

SEE YOUR MIND THINKS BEING A CHILD IS NATURAL AND BEING AN ADULT IS UN-NATURAL, A ‘FAKE GOOD’.

BUT IT IS THE OTHER WAY ROUND – GROWING UP IS NATURAL, AS IT ACTUALLY REMOVES THE UN-NATURAL YOU THE CHILD…

TIME TO BE VERY CLEAR – IF YOU HAVE FAILED TO GROW UP THEN YOU ARE STILL ‘CHILDISH’, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED YOUR MINDSET, AND YOU THINK THAT IS NORMAL. THE MINDSET OF A CHILD IS A CAGE BY DEFINITION, YOU ARE A SLAVE, DEPENDENT, FEARFUL, WHICH YOU ACCEPT AS YOU ARE POWERLESS TO CHANGE IT. BUT BEING NATURALLY CHILDISH AS A GOOD THING IS JUST A PHASE, ONE OF SEVERAL YOU NEED TO GO THROUGH, IN ORDER TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL, SO YOU CAN ‘LIVE’, BUT IF YOU GET STUCK IT RAPIDLY GOES ‘STALE’, LEADING TO CONSTANT ‘SELF SABOTAGE’ – AS YOUR ENERGY DECLINES THE WALLS AROUND THE MIND OF A CHILD WILL CLOSE IN ON YOU, AND ALL YOUR FUN WILL DISAPPEAR…

SEE YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET STUCK IN THE MIND OF A CHILD, STUCK IN THE ‘STARTING BLOCKS OF LIFE’, SO YOU HAVE NO CONTROL, LIFE JUST ‘HAPPENS TO YOU’, BECAUSE YOU DON’T CONTINUALLY JUDGE THE IMPORTANCE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU AT A ‘BIG PICTURE’ SCALE, YOU DON’T SEE THIS JUDGEMENT PROCESS AS ‘YOUR CONSCIOUS NOW’. NO, YOU ONLY SEE ‘THE NOW OF YOUR REACTIONS’, AFTER YOU THE CHILD HAS ALREADY MADE ITS CHOICES UNCONSCIOUSLY = PASSIVE SELF-DESTRUCTION VIA THE INCREASING DOMINANCE OF MEANINGLESS LEVELS OF ANXIETY DIRECTING EVERYTHING YOU DO…

SIMPLY PUT, AN ADULT ‘IS THE FELT CONTEXT OF THEIR WHOLE EXISTENCE, PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE’, WHILST A CHILD HAS ‘NO CONTEXT OF THEIR EXISTENCE’, SO IS ONLY EVER ‘THE NOW OF ITS REACTONS’, FORGETS THEMSELVES CONSTANTLY, CHASES COMFORT, SAFETY, AFFECTION, ATTENTION, IN A NEVER ENDING CYCLE THAT WEAKENS THEM…

CRUCIALLY, AN ADULT CAN CHANGE THEIR LIFE BY CHANGING THAT CONTEXT AT ANY TIME AND FOCUSING ON SOMETHING ELSE, WHILST A CHILD CAN NEVER CHANGE, UNLESS FORCED TO, BECAUSE IT HAS NEVER LEARNT TO CHANGE – IT CAN’T SEE ITS DECISION PROCESSES, SO CAN NEVER CHANGE THEM.

But, yeah, I know – YOU DON’T CARE, YOU ARE A HAPPY FUCK UP, you are content to remain child as it PROTECTS YOU, COMFORTS YOU ‘from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’, that is your LIFE OF BANAL SLAVERY – YOUR DREAMS ARE LONG GONE. You ‘THINK’ you need that child to make IT ALL BEARABLE FOR ANOTHER DAY, yet even you are aware that there is no future in LIVING for your petty comforts, YOU KNOW ALL FORMS OF ‘DRINKING LEAD TO ALCOHOLISM’, that all NEED FOR RELIEF gets worse, saps your energy SO YOU GET EVEN WEAKER, DON’T YOU, but you don’t care, as long as you can feel briefly ‘clever’ a few times a day, its all ok for you, TO JUST ‘EXIST’, to simply go round the same circle, IS ENOUGH…

So – I HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND TODAY, therefore a lot of what I’M going to say today is going to hit VERY HARSH, BRUTAL EVEN, BECAUSE IT HAS TO. So in order FOR ME to get you on this horse with a positive mindset I must play along with ‘You the Child’ in order to ‘BALANCE YOU’ – I MUST COMFORT YOU FIRST, SO ALL OF THIS IS ‘DIGESTABLE’ AT YOUR LEVEL. I need to do this at scale, cause it is the only time I’m going to LET YOU OFF THE HOOK for this entire post, as YOU MUST NAIL YOURSELF TO THAT HOOK for the rest of it, to have any chance in hell of growing up IN LATER LIFE – YOU NEED TO BE MOTIVATED.

The issue is simple – you will call the initial stages of GROWING UP AS SOME TYPE OF ‘TRIVIAL SUFFERING’, even though it is not, BUT in all truth YOU THE CHILD HAS TO FEEL LIKE ITS SUFFERING, as you need TO GET that ENERGY ‘BACK’ TO CHANGE. Always try and remember the more you want BIG THINGS if you are ‘UNSCHOOLED’ Gifted, the more your SPIRIT will put some form of suffering in your WAY, IN ORDER to GENERATE THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THOSE THINGS – ‘THE OBSTACLE IS THE PATH’ (Sorry, Zen). So learn to embrace the suffering in necessary things, learn to PICK THE TYPE OF SUFFERING THAT SUITS YOU, see it has FREE MONEY, FREE POWER TO DO, instead of mild annoyance, of boredom, of discomfort, AS IT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL START TO BALANCE YOUR KARMIC ENERGY DEBT (what you have already done to yourself) THAT IS FUCKING YOUR LIFE UP…

So know, RIGHT NOW AND FOR THE REST OF THIS POST: 

NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT…

YOUR IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.

YOUR SELF-DESTRUCTIVE COMFORTS AND FUN ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.

YOUR UNSTABLE CHARACTER AND TRIVIAL EGO SAFETY ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.

YOUR TOTAL LACK OF HONOR, CONFIDENCE AND SELF RESPECT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

YOUR WEAKNESS, YOUR INABILITY TO CHANGE OR DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT IS NOT YOUR FAULT .

BUT IT IS ‘YOUR RESPONSIBILITY’ TO FIX THAT SHIT, SO IT IS TIME YOU START ‘FEELING’ IT BURN..

SEE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT YES, YOU ARE FREE TO CHOOSE WHATEVER YOU WISH, TO BE AS BIG A FAKE BITCH AS YOU WANT, EVEN BREAK THE LAWS OF YOUR HERD, BUT YOU ARE NOT FREE FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF THAT CHOICE, WHICH AT AN ENERGETIC LEVEL ARE VERY, VERY REAL = PROGRESSIVE SELF-DESTRUCTION, IN EVERY SENSE OF THAT WORD.

SEE IN THE END, YOUR END, IGNORANCE IS NO DEFENSE AT ALL – SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHATEVER YOU THINK – SO THERE REALLY IS NO POINT IN GOING ON PRETENDING TO BE IGNORANT, LIKE IT PROTECTS YOU, CAUSE YOU ARE NOT, ARE YOU – YOU HAVE A CONSCIENCE, OTHERWISE I SEVERELY DOUBT YOU WOULD BE READING THIS STUFF – ITS ONLY FOR ‘THE GIFTED’.

YES – YOU HAVE TO FACE THIS – TO ACT LIKE AN IGNORANT CHILD IS TO BE A GUTLESS DORK, QED – GOT THAT? CLEAR NOW? NO, NOT QUITE YET…? OK THEN, buckle up, ’cause here we go, see I’m ready for ya, I kinda knew a few hundred words was never going to MOVE YOU – you are all clinging on way too tight to the NOTHINGNESS IN YOUR SOUL, so tight that you have NO BOTTLE AT ALL, you don’t even know what the bloody word means, do ya.

SO even just a few words into this post, its VERY USEFUL TO UNDERSTAND, IF YOU ARE ‘GIFTED’, TO BE A CHILD AS AN ADULT IS TO ‘DISHONOR YOURSELF’…

GIFTED YOU, THE BIGGER, MORE IMPORTANT AND QUALITY PARTS OF YOURSELF DESERVE BETTER THAN CONSCIOUS ‘YOU THE CHILD’. 

YOUR CRAVEN, LAZY, FECKLESS, COMFORTING, PEOPLE-PLEASING, FANTASY SHITE DISHONORS ‘HER’, INDEED ALL OF US – ITS DISGUSTING.

GIFTED YOU IS VERY SPECIAL, YET YOU DRAG HER THROUGH THE MUD JUST TO MAKE YOUR GUTLESS, SHITTY LITTLE LIFE ‘EASIER’, YOU STUPID HOE.

YOU ‘RUIN’ YOURSELF PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY, SIMPLY BECAUSE ITS EASIER TO COMFORT YOURSELF, LIKE A BROKEN ‘BASIC BITCH’.

BUT I ALSO KNOW, THAT SOMETIME BACK, YOU MAY HAVE PICKED UP SOME EMOTIONAL DAMAGE THAT CUT SO DEEP AS A KID THAT NOW YOU THINK IT IS BETTER TO DESTROY YOURSELF BEFORE ANYONE ELSE GETS THE CHANCE TO DO IT, AGAIN, SO YOU WILL NEED SOME HELP WITH THAT SHIT..

BUT YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER IT DO YOU, IT WAS NOT EVEN THAT BAD OVERALL, BUT ‘YOU THE CHILD’ USED ITS FAVOURITE SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS TRICK TO MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY, SO HOWEVER WEIRD YOU ACT NOW, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY IT IS ‘NATURAL’ FOR YOU TO BE THIS WAY, DO YOU, NO IDEA IT IS ALL ‘TOTALLY FAKE’, UN-NATURAL, A ‘HIDDEN REACTION’ TO SOMETHING FROM LONG AGO YOU HAVE LONG SINCE ‘BLANKED OUT’.

YES – IT IS THIS SIMPLE – YOU ARE THAT SIMPLE – BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN UP ENOUGH TO SEE ‘THE SIMPLE TRIVIALITY’ OF WHY ‘YOU DON’T WANT TO GROW UP’, ITS A CATCH 22 KINDA DEAL, BITCH.  

AND THAT HAS TO GO, SO YOU CAN LEARN ‘TO WANT TO GROW UP’ – YOUR SELF-DESTRUCTIVE IGNORANCE IS NO EXCUSE, ITS JUST FUCKING SAD…

Hard I know, TO FACE YOUR OWN SOUL, but DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR, RIGHT NOW, TAKE A MOMENT TO ‘CHANGE YOUR MIND’ IN ITS MOST BASIC SENSE, AND HATE THE TRIVIAL ‘BASIC’ BITCH THAT IS YOU THE CHILD, in COMPARISON TO WHAT YOU KNOW YOU COULD OF BEEN WITHOUT YOUR INFAMOUS ‘WEAKNESS OF CHARACTER’, TO HATE WHAT THAT CHILD HAS DONE TO YOU, TO HATE ‘ALL YOUR FAILURE’. See we are studying MENTAL DOORWAYS TODAY, and much as I can show you these DOORS, you must FIND AN EMOTIONALLY WEIGHTED ‘DOOR HANDLE’ YOU CAN TURN ON COMMAND, and there is nothing better for an animal than the embarrassment of what you are already ashamed off, IN THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY – FIND SOMETHING THAT YOUR CONSCIENCE STILL TRIES TO SCOLD YOU ABOUT, AS THAT HAS SOME REALITY.

It won’t stick of course, YOUR ENVIRONMENT WILL SEE THIS ATTEMPT AT CHANGE AND JUMP ON IT FULL FORCE TO PUT YOU ‘BACK IN YOUR PLACE’, but that does not matter now, at the start, WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU CREATE SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO YOU THE CHILD, A DIFFERENT MOOD, YOU CAN RETURN TO RELIABLY. Once you have that we are going to use some magic on you to do the rest of it, AS YOU CAN’T, YOU NEED US TO HELP TO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO – YOU ARE TOO WEAK AND TOO STUPID, SO YOU SIMPLY DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO CHANGE DEEP SEATED BLOCKING PATTERNS, THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE IN CHILDHOOD THAT CREATED THE KEY FEATURE OF YOUR EGO WILL WIN EVERY TIME (YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS BUILT ON TOP OF IT), so it is a good idea to accept that, and make the most of ANY TIME YOU CAN GET AWAY FROM THAT BITCH.

SO WHAT IS THAT MAGIC YOU ASK? That’s a bit more complicated than we have space for right now, but all will be revealed as you read on, YET TIME IS SHORT, SO RIGHT NOW YOU NEED ‘READ A HEAD’ AND START DOING A VERY SIMPLE THING – ONE OF THE MOST BASIC ‘GIFTED’ MAGIC TRICKS IN THE BOOK, WHICH, IF YOU ARE GIFTED AND DO IT ENOUGH, WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER, SLOWLY BUT SURELY – IT WILL STOP YOU ACTING ‘CHILDISH’ UNCONSCIOUSLY, as right now you are ‘blocked’ from seeing yourself do it, BUT SEE IT YOU MUST…

REPEAT, TO YOURSELF, THE COMMAND – ‘TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF’, IN THE EXACT FORM I’VE JUST WRITTEN IT.

TRY AND DO IT WHENEVER YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK, EARLY MORNING AND LATE EVENING ARE BEST, FOR MANY MINS, BUT YOU CAN DO IT ALL DAY IF YOU WISH, JUST DON’T TRY AND ANSWER IT, LET REAL YOU ‘SHOW YOU UP’, HOWEVER IT WISHES, BUT YOU DO NOT USE THE WORD ‘SHOW’, EVER.

DO KNOW IT IS PARTICULARLY USEFUL TO DO THIS WHEN YOU FEEL EMOTIONAL IN ANY WAY, FOR ANY REASON, EVEN RAGE, SEX, PAIN.

THIS IS A RINZAI ZEN TRICK, ONE OF THE VERY BEST, AND ALWAYS WORKS IF YOU ARE GIFTED, THEY DO THE FULL VERSION WHICH YOU ARE NOT READY FOR YET AS THE RESULT CAN BE DRAMATIC – ‘WHO IS (insert your CHRISTAIN NAME)?’, WHILST EVOKING A MOOD STATE OF GREAT, PERSONAL ‘DOUBT’.

SEE DOUBT AS AN EMOTIONAL STATE IS VERY EFFECTIVE FOR QUESTIONS, AS IT CREATES A TYPE OF ENERGETIC VACUUM THAT COMPELLS THE ANSWER.

BUT THAT TAKES HOURS OF PRACTICE, SO YOU NEED THE REPETITION OF AN EMOTIONALLY WEIGHTED COMMAND FOR IT TO WORK FAST…  

See, YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME YET, even WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN SO FAR, you are just curious, aren’t you, SO I NEED TO MOTIVATE YOU WITH YOUR OWN TRUTH, NOT MINE – YOU NEED TO START TO SEE, IN YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE, JUST HOW BIG A NASTY LITTLE 2 FACED TWAT YOU ARE, ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY.

SEE THAT TWAT IS WHAT YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK IS ‘THE AUTHENTIC, NATURAL YOU’, the thing you BELIEVE IN, what you trust your life to, IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE. Sorry, but that ignorance has to go now, IF YOU ARE TRYING TO GROW UP, YOU MUST ‘WANT TO GROW UP’, so you must realize that YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED SINCE YOU WERE AT SCHOOL, you are still ‘CHILDISH’, that it what we mean by you being a TOTAL TWAT, GET IT?

YES, OF COURSE, ALL THIS INSULTING YOU HAS A POINT, AS IT IS A TYPE OF PREPARATION FOR CHANGE AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, I MUST EQUIP YOU WITH SOME MENTAL WEAPONARY SO YOU CAN START WINNING AT ‘CHANGE’. YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO ‘DISOWN YOURSELF’, DISOWN WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW QUIETLY, INTERNALLY, SO YOU CAN ‘START’ THIS PROCESS, AND STOP COMFORTING YOURSELF, EXCUSING YOURSELF, ALLOWING YOURSELF, AND INDULGING YOURSELF LIKE A CHILD. And you can’t let your child stop you at the first hurdle, like it has so many times before, telling you something like you are SWITCHING SIDES, you are being DISLOYAL and they will ALL HATE YOU, but the friends of a feckless, creepy child are what made you feckless and creepy in the 1st place – TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE YOUR CHARACTER MUST CHANGE, be clear about this…

Anyway – THINK ON – have YOU not already DONE THAT SHIT ENOUGH, are you NOT ALREADY READY FOR A CHANGE OF SCENE, A FRESH NEW ‘LOOK AND FEEL’ OF YOU..? Well, be assured whatever answer your child spits back at you, WE sure as hell are – YOU ARE BORING AS FUCK, like. Seriously would you not like to move on from being the most uptight, transparent, flakey bitch in every room, that nobody ‘rates’, yet everyone ‘uses’, and then is compelled to take the piss out of later, like an aging office whore, who shames even her friends with her friendship, and they know it. YES, we must test for your sense of self today, YOUR SENSE OF SHAME, to see if you are capable of developing one, as you are ‘NOT IN KANSAS’ ANY MORE – ding doing, the WITCH is DEAD, otherwise YOU are THAT BITCH, ‘my pretty’…

DO YOU UNDERSTAND – TODAY YOU MUST DEVELOP THAT SENSE OF SHAME OF YOUR ‘CHARACTER’ – BE WHAT CONSCIOUSLY FEELS THAT SHAME, AT THE PRECISE MOMENT IT IS FELT (NOT REMEMBERED LATER), AS THAT IS ‘NOT YOU THE CHILD’, IT IS SOMETHING ELSE, SO YOU THE CHILD DOES NOT CONTROL YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS ‘ALL THE TIME’, so you can see there are times when you are NOT THAT BITCH, in that moment, AND YOUR CONSCIOUS EXPERIENCE OF LIFE CHANGES, WITH THIS CHANGE OF MOOD. You are going to need to develop this CHANGE OF MOOD, this time when you are not YOU THE STUPID KID, and get used to that separation, WHEN YOU HAVE THE SAND TO STAND AGAINST THAT CHILD, however briefly, so you can practice doing it, AND DEVELOP AN ACTUAL SENSE OF SELF THAT IS DIFFERENT, BECAUSE IT IS BETTER THAN, or at least aspires to BE – your SHAME is useful, because it provides you with a place to START, so never run away from it, let it burn, and don’t seek to comfort yourself, LET YOUR GIFT REACH YOU, should you have one…

So even before you START TODAY, get it clear in your head that there is a distinct part of you THAT DOES NOT ACCEPT FAILURE AS ‘FINAL’, like your child does, THAT DOES NOT GIVE UP TRYING TO CHANGE, even if it fails in the moment. That part of you IS YOUR SPIRIT, and when you let your SPIRIT BE BROKEN BY ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD you are DONE – YOU ARE A SLAVE FOREVER – SO TAKE THIS EXERCISE SERIOUSLY, IT HAS BENEFITS FOR THE GIFTED BEYOND ANYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE. YOU CAN STILL CHANGE ‘YOUR STARS’, YOUR FATE, BUT AS A CHILD ITS GUARANTEED FAILURE, AS YOU WILL FAIL TO TRY AT ANYTHING, EVER AGAIN – you have to TRY AGAINST RESISTANCE because you need that MONEY TO PAY FOR YOUR GOALS…

SEE – You need to be clear about what has happened to you, and what that MEANS FOR ‘YOUR FATE’ – A LIFE OF NEVER ENDING, EVER INCREASINGLY, TOE CURLINGLY HUMILIATING ‘WEAKNESS’, that NEEDS THE CONTINUAL DISTRACTION OF PETTY SELF-DESTRUCTION TO GET ANY RELIEF FROM, AT ALL. So to paraphrase the immortal genius of Jung, (know however bleak you may find this now there is tremendous strength in it waiting for you later): 

Everyone has the SAME chance TO GROW UP ‘ONCE’ – LIFE ‘asks’ you who you are, and if you don’t know who you are LIFE will tell you who you are, IN THE PERSON OF ANY OLD SHIT THAT SUITS IT AT THAT MOMENT, and that is when YOU START ‘TO LIVE A LIE’, as you are now trained to FIT IN WHAT THAT MOMENT – LIFE ON THIS PLANET IS NOT NICE, LIFE IS A CONTEST, NATURE IS RED IN TOOTH AND CLAW YOU, SO YOU WIN OR YOU LOSE, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY, SO YOU THE EGO WORKS HARD TO BE RIGHT, TO BE CLEVER ABOVE ALL ELSE, because that is the only way A CHILD CAN FIGHT…

Very quickly those lies start to build, the self-deceit starts to build, the subjugation of your REAL SELF, AS YOUR FALSE, INSTINCTIVE OPINIONS BECOME YOUR TRUTH SIMPLY BY BEING ‘YOUR POSITION’, ADOPTED IN CHILDHOOD FOR REASONS YOU CAN NO LONGER REMEMBER, THAT EVEN YOU UNDERSTAND YOU STICK TO SIMPLY OUT OF ‘EGO DEFENSE’ WHILST HOPING YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT BY RANDOM CHANCE ONE DAY, UNTIL YOU CANNOT TELL LIES FROM TRUTH ANYMORE. See those Fake Opinions WHERE YOU, THE LITTLE KID, FINDING THEIR FEET BY CONSTANTLY MAKING BASIC ‘STRAW MAN’ PATTERNS AS ‘TRAINING WHEELS’ FROM YOUR incomplete EXPEREINCES BEFORE YOU WERE FORCED TO REPLACE THEM BY REALITY, but now you HAVE GONE STALE, so you actually BELIEVE THEM AS TRUTHS, and engage in a form of ritual self-destruction in order to defend them, ALL THE FUCKING TIME… 

So everything becomes a lie, and those LIES WEAKEN YOU UNTIL ALL YOU CAN DO IS COMFORT YOURSELF IN THE FACE OF THAT WEAKNESS, which weakens you further, until you NO LONGER have the ENERGY to stand against your fake thoughts, sensations and emotions, ALL YOU CAN DO IS REACT TO THEM, and call it NORMAL, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW. IT’S ALL TOTAL CRAP, IF YOU ‘KNOW,’ YOU KNOW, LIKE SUGAR IS SWEET, SALTY IS SALTY, THE GRASS IS GREEN AND THE SKY IS BLUE FROM YOUR ‘PERSONAL EXPEREINCE’, BUT IF ITS JUST AN OPINION THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SILLY LITTLE TWAT, AND SEE, CLEARLY IN THAT MOMENT YOUR ‘NEED’ TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT ANYTHING MEANS YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN UP!

The constant justification of LYING TO YOURSELF, of finding a way to BE right when you are obviously WRONG is the CORE OF BEING A SILLY, CHILDISH TWAT…

See what LIFE asks you to do is GROW UP, SO YOU CAN BE SOMEONE, BE AN INDIVIDUAL WHO CAN STAND AGAINST LIFE, ‘CAUSE YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT FITTING IN WITH THE ‘LITTLE PEOPLE’, much as you may still need to lie to get along BUT you do it consciously, YOU NEVER LIE TO YOURSELF – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. This way you break the constant cycle of what they call ADAPTATION, where you simply fit in with whatever ‘happens to you’ and make it work, INSTEAD OF MAKING WHAT YOU WANT ‘HAPPEN’ BY ‘BEING YOU’, CONSISTENTLY. Otherwise, everything becomes adaptation, layer upon layer of ways to react to changing times that make up the bullshit you think is your character, creating a deep need in you for stability, to stop the constant reactions to constant changes in your environment washing your sense of safety away, SO YOU DEVELOP A DEEP SEATED ‘FEAR OF THE FUTURE’, and CONSTANTLY COMFORT YOURSELF TO COPE.

That is when you GET STUCK, like 90% of the modern world, locked into THE CYCLES OF ‘YOU THE CHILD’, OF COMFORTS AND LIES, and WITHOUT HELP you are fucked – NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THIS CONSTANT LYING, THE POWER OF IT TO CREATE A KIND OF ‘DAZE YOU LIVE IN’, WHERE EVERYTHING IS HIDDEN FROM YOU BEHIND LIES ‘YOU NEED TO BE TRUE IN ORDER TO COMFORT YOURSELF’. Then one day, near death, YOU WAKE UP AND WONDER WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED, ‘WHY IN GODS NAME DID I DO ALL OF THIS CRAP’, ITS OBVIOUSLY STUPID, YET YOU HAVE WASTED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ON IT.

See the killer aspect of FAKE OPINIONS IS YOU BECOME ADDICTED TO THE EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT IN THEM, even after you the big kid NO LONGER BELIEVES THEM, YET YOU STILL HAVE TO REPEAT THEM, ACT THEM OUT, USUALLY AS PART OF SOME HERD NORMAL, TO BE SAFE IN A CROWD OF FAKE TWATS JUST LIKE YOU… Yes, right now, even if you are prepared to believe WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN ABOVE is ALL TRUE, your EGO WILL STILL DEFEND IT BY USING SOME LINE ON YOU LIKE ‘BUT I’M ENTITLED TO MY OPINION, EVEN IF ITS PROBABLY WRONG’ so I will simply choose the opinions I need to ‘FIT IN’, WHICH IS TOTAL CRAP – YOU ARE A CHILD LIVING IN A FANTASY WORLD of LIES, AND THAT JUSTIFICATION IS PART OF THE SAME SET OF LIES YOU TOOL.

One of the easiest ways to prove this to yourself overall is see how much of your life, how much of your thoughts and feelings are dominated by these lies, and how much your EGO USES A CONTINUAL STREAM OF URGENT, EMOTIONALLY WIEGHTED BUT TOTALLY TRIVIAL ‘IMPULSES’ OF CLEVERNESS AND ANNOYANCE TO CONTINUALLY DISTRACT YOU WITH CRAP SO YOU NEVER TAKE A MOMENT TO CONSIDER THAT YOU MIGHT BE WRONG AND SIMPLY ‘KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW’, INSTEAD OF A KID PRETENDING THEY DO KNOW = TO LIVE IN ‘A CONTINUAL SHIT SHOW OF CHILDISH TRIVIALITY’, AS THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS ‘TO BE NOTHING’, TO BE, TO LIVE AS A WEAK, STUPID, DELUSIONAL, DRUG ADDICTED MESS, 24/7.

YOUR FAKE OPINIONS ARE YOUR GREATEST COMFORTER AS A CHILD BECAUSE YOU USE THEM CONSTANTLY, SO YOU NEVER LEAVE THAT DELUSIONAL STATE OF MIND – THEY HIDE WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ‘ARE’, WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ‘DO’ FROM YOURSELF.

SEE IF YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN UP YOU LIVE IN A ‘FANTASY’ BY DEFINITION, A WORLD IS MADE UP OF ACTING OUT ‘EMOTIONAL COMFORTS’, ALL OF WHICH ARE UNDERPINED BY FAKE OPINIONS THAT ‘INSURE THEM AGAINST GIFTED SELF-CRTICISM’.

IN THIS WAY THEY BECOME THE PRIMARY WEAPON YOU USE AGAINST THE ONLY SENSE OF REAL TRUTH YOU MAY STILL HAVE IF YOU ARE GIFTED – YOU USE YOUR FAKE OPINIONS AGAINST ‘YOUR CONSCIENCE’, TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT IGNORING IT.

SEE YOU COMFORT YOURSELF FOR BEING NOTHING, KNOWING NOTHING, FEELING NOTHING, DOING NOTHING BY PRETENDING THAT YOU ARE SOMETHING THAT KNOWS, YOU ‘PLAY FIGHT’ TO DEFEND YOUR OPINIONS TO FEEL POWERFUL = A BIT LESS SHIT.

BUT WORSE, MUCH WORSE, THESE LIES WEAKEN YOU BEYOND ANYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE, INDEED THIS ADDICTION ACTUALLY MAKES YOU ‘MORE NOTHING’ – YOUR WHOLE LIFE BECOMES A CATALOGUE OF BANAL, OBVIOUSLY SELF-SERVING LIES…

TRUST ME – IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE FAST START REALIZING IN THE MOMENT OF EXPRESSION THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING,  YOU ARE GUESSING AT BEST, AND LITTLE MORE THAN ‘WANKING OFF FOR A CHEAP THRILL’ LIKE A TWAT, AT WORST. 

THEN MUCH OF THE ENERGY YOU HAVE PISSED AWAY ON FAKE OPINIONS WILL RETURN TO ‘YOU IN A RUSH’, AS YOUR WEAKNESS OF PRETENDING IS REPLACED WITH THE ‘REAL COMFORT OF NOT KNOWING’, AS NOW YOU ‘KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW’ CONSCIOUSLY, AND EVEN JUST ‘KNOWING THE TRUTH’ OF THAT WILL MAKE YOU MUCH, MUCH STRONGER IN THE MOMENT OF THAT REALIZATION.

Yes, what you don’t know in the moment of your choices is THAT YOUR COMFORTS AND LIES ARE ACTUALLY MAKING YOUR LIFE SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE – YOUR COMFORTS WEAKEN YOU, SO MAKE ‘YOU MORE SHIT’, SO EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH ‘GOES TO SHIT’, ON PURPOSE, however unconsciously. See that is the thing of being a CHILD, YOU ARE FORCED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE UNCONSCIOUSLY ‘ON PURPOSE’ CAUSE YOU REALLY DON’T WANT THE TRUTH, YOU WANT a ‘SECRET FANTASY’ LIFE, BECAUSE IT IS BETTER THAN REAL LIFE – SO YOU BECOME SATISFIED WITH THE ‘WEAKNESS OF FANTASY’, it is enough for you because it is BETTER THAN REALITY, SO YOU CAN’T CHANGE…

But sure, I GET IT – WHY FACE REALITY WHEN YOU CAN BE A FECKLESS CHILD AND LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD, FOREVER, EH, WHEN YOU CAN STAY ‘SAFE AND SOUND’ BEHIND THE BARS OF YOUR LITTLE ‘MENTAL COT’, FULL OF FLUFFY TOYS THAT ‘COMFORT YOU’ WHILST OBVIOUSLY BEING ‘LIES’, A FANTASY, UNREAL, LIKE YOUR IMAGINARY FRIENDS WHO HAVE YOUR BACK, WHO ‘LIKE YOU’ SO MAKE YOU ‘FEEL SAFE’, WHEN OBVIOUSLY NONE OF IT IS TRUE.

See NO child ever wants to grow up by themselves, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE BY THE DEFINITION OF WHAT IT IS, so you must be told, shown, forced even, BECAUSE YOU HAVE MADE BENG A CHILD ‘COMFORTABLE’, like a slave who has done a deal to fuck their repellant master for a slightly easier life than the other slaves, WHICH YOU CALL ‘CLEVER’, ‘POWERFUL’, ‘HAPPY’, INSTEAD OF USING THAT HUMILIATION TO KILL THE BASTARD AND ESCAPE TO ‘A LIFE WORTH LIVING’.

YES – TO STOP BEING A CHILD YOU NEED A ‘BETTER REALITY TO LOOK FORWARD TO’, A ‘BETTER YOU’ TO AIM AT, RATHER THAN A SHIT ONE YOU CAN DO NOTHING BUT RUN AWAY MENTALLY FROM. Then none of your childish shit will work anymore IN THE FACE OF THAT BETTER REALITY, and you will stop wanting to do it, given you can find the ENERGY TO MAKE THAT CHANGE OF COURSE. All you NEED ARE BETTER GOALS THAT YOU HAVE LEARNT HOW TO BRING INTO THE ‘MOMENT OF DECISION’, SO YOU CAN CHANGE TO ACHIEVE THOSE GOALS, BY PLANING BACK FROM THOSE GOALS AND REALIZING YOU NEED TO BE BOTH SOMEBODY ELSE IN ORDER TO ACHEIVE THEM, AND RUTHLESS ENOUGH TO MAKE THOSE CHANGES ‘HAPPEN’. This is REAL LIFE…

But AS A CHILD YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT your FAKE SHIT, ACCEPT ‘YOUR HUMILIATION AS NORMAL’, by ‘blanking it out’ – you accept your own self-deception, YOU LIE TO YOURSELF TO MAKE YOURSELF BEARABLE, AS IT MAKES ‘YOU FEEL HAPPY’, FEEL SANE, FEEL EVERYTHING IS OK FOR ANOTHER DAY. But what does it matter TO YOU eh, YOU HAVE MADE THAT CHOICE NOW, you have accepted your LACK of POWER in this world, IT IS WHO YOU ARE, YOUR WHOLE FAKE  PERSONALITY, your good and your bad, your right and your ‘wrong’, so why even get out of bed every day, why not ‘sleep through it’ all, TO SLEEP PER CHANCE TO DREAM, eh (Sorry, Will…). This is what WEAKNESS ‘IS’ – TO FALL ASLEEP FOREVER, LIKE A FAIRY TALE CHARACTER, who has ‘PRICKED THEIR FINGER’ ON THE SPINNING ‘WHEEL OF TIME’…

So here is the one simple TRUTH that you have failed to understand YOUR WHOLE LIFE, told to YOU by US to replace the LIES FROM ‘THEM’ – see we actually are the BAD PEOPLE WHO HAVE COME TO RUIN YOUR WHOLE CHILDISH LIFE, SENT BY ‘YOUR GOD’ to BREAK ‘YOU THE CHILD’, whilst sadly recognizing that it actually ‘YOU WHO MUST BREAK YOU’ TODAY, as we have NO PERSONAL INTEREST IN YOU UNTIL YOU GROW THE FUCK UP. That’s just the WAY IT IS, THE WAY IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN, WAY IT WILL ALWAYS BE – TO GROW UP SOMETHING HAS TO ‘BREAK YOU THE CHILD’, YOU MUST SEE THE CON IN THE MOMENT…

So make a mental note of this TRUTH NOW – much as you won’t understand it, you will still need it later…

AS A CHILD YOU REJECTED THE FELT ‘RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF’ THAT MAKES YOU PERSONALLY POWERFUL. 

INSTEAD, YOU ACCEPTED THE FALSE FREEDOM, THE EASE OF IRRESPONSIBILITY THAT MAKES YOU POWERLESS, ‘ANXIOUS’.

SO YOU HAVE MISTAKEN ‘WEAKNESS’ AS A ‘SENSE OF FREEDOM’, AND ‘STRENGTH’ AS THE ‘BURDEN OF RESPONSIBILITY’.

ITS ACTUALLY THE OTHER WAY ROUND, STRENGTH IS FREEDOM, BECAUSE BOTTLE BEATS ANXIETY EVERY TIME.

YET, EVEN NOW, READING THIS AND FEELING SHIT, YOU STILL BELIEVE WEAKNESS IS A GOOD THING, BECAUSE ITS SO EASY.

SEE THE REASON YOU BELIEVE THAT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE ‘NO CHOICE’ AS A CHILD, AS YOU HAVE ‘NO BOTTLE’…

BUT YOU CAN CHANGE ALL OF THAT IN A HEARTBEAT BY ACCEPTING A DEEPLY FELT ‘RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF’.

So are you THE worthless, flakey, inconsistent, unstable, UNFAITHFUL, unreliable, 2 faced, lazy, drug addicted, ugly, smelly, sweaty, classless, tasteless, clueless ‘sack of shit’ that YOU TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE EVERYDAY, SIMPLY BY ACTING LIKE ONE AS ‘A CHILD’, or are you BETTER THAN THAT, is there still some QUALITY LEFT, something outside of your conscious self THAT IS WORTH ‘PROTECTING FROM YOU’. Mmmm, you don’t know do you… BUT YOU REALLY HOPE THERE IS, don’t you, otherwise you are simply everything you already HATE IN OTHERS, eh, and how fucking ICK is that, bitch.. 

TODAY, I’m going to help you with that DECISION, and that starts with this one simple realization – THE PROBLEM YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW IS YOUR LEVEL OF WEAKNESS – THE PROCESS OF GROWING UP in later life REQUIRES A LOT OF AVAILABLE EMOTIONAL ENERGY, OTHERWISE YOUR ‘ILLNESS OF IMMATURITY’ WILL ALWAYS BE BIGGER THAN YOUR ‘LOW ENERGY’ CONSCIOUSNESS, EXTENDING BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF YOU TINY CONSCIOUS MIND SO YOU CAN NOT SEE IT DISTINCTLY, AS A WHOLE, IN THE MOMENT OF IT CONTROLLING YOU.

See THIS IS WHY A CHILD  has NO CHANCE, as every effort to change will simply fail ‘next day’, BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT, DON’T YOU…

See, RIGHT NOW, your CHILDISH COMFORTS in all their many forms HOOVER UP all that SPARE ENERGY, and more, EVEN THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO FUNCTION, MOVE, THINK, SO THE ENERGETIC ‘KARMIC DEBT’ YOU OWE IS ALREADY HUGE for most, and it will take some time to fix that SHIT. So DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THIS ENERGETIC DEBT STUFF, WHATEVER YOU HAVE DONE TO YOURSELF THUS FAR – I DID A TRAD VERSION OF THIS PROCESS IN EARLY ADULTHOOD, I WAS HIGHLY MOTIVATED, HAD THE SPARE TIME AND KNEW A LOT, yet it still took me 18 MONTHS TO BREAK myself, and that included the USE of FORCED SHOCKS, which YOU DON’T WANT, as that takes BOTTLE…

THIS IS IMPORTANT TO BE CLEAR ABOUT – SPARE ENERGY MEANS YOU ARE CONSCIOUS OF IT EMOTIONALLY, it is not already assigned to your biology, to your compulsions, to your excitements, to your rage, TO YOUR SENSES/VISION – IT IS SPARE, SO YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH IT BY ‘SITTING WITH IT’, TO MAKE YOU BIGGER CONSCIOUSLY, ENERGETICALLY. Therefore you must manage this process with that precise goal in mind, RESISTING THE DESIRE TO VENT THAT ENERGY ON NOTHIN. Much as I don’t expect you to master tantric sex, (the work of decades), IT IS REALLY USEFUL TO KNOW THAT THE EASIEST WAY TO DRAMATICALLY INCREASE YOUR ENERGY IS TO LIFT YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY UP, INDEED UP TO THE LEVEL OF YOUR ‘HEART’ IF POSSIBLE, much as more basic forms of BOTTLE WILL STILL GET IT DONE, but right now, as a feckless child, YOU WILL BE RUNNING ON EMPTY, INDEED YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE RUNNING BELOW EMPTY, so YOUR energy work needs TO BE a VERY CLEAR FOCUS.

YEP, in the full knowledge that many of you will never commit to the YEARS IT WOULD TAKE FECKLESS LITTLE YOU TO REBUILD YOUR ‘ENERGETIC PRESENCE’ to anything even close to what you had as a child, I have found a better way, a way built on the whole concept of combining every bloody speed up I know, whilst keeping the dangers inherent in such speed ups to a comparatively low level – IT IS ALL BASED ON THE SIMPLE FACTS OF ELITISM, the core of the 4th Way:   

IF YOU GIVE UP YOUR CHILDISH COMFORTS YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE VERY QUICKLY, BECAUSE YOU ‘HAVE TO’.

BUT YOU WANT TO ‘START’ DEVELOPING YOURSELF WHILST KEEPING YOUR COMFORTS, LIKE EVERYONE AS YOU ALL CAN’T COMMIT.

SO YOU MUST ‘CHANGE YOUR COMFORTS’ FROM ‘SELF-DESTRUCTION’ TO ‘ELITISM’, FROM WEAKNESS TO STRENGTH, FROM COWARDICE TO BOTTLE – THAT IS THE CORE OF THE LESSON TODAY, THE ‘MIDDLE WAY’, WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY FOR YOU. 

Yet, for ALL that follows in this POST, it’s simple really – THE ‘BIG ISSUE’ WITH THIS LITTLE CHILDISH PLAN OF YOUR LIFE is that SADLY FOR MOST OF YOU READING THIS those childish BARS ON YOUR COT ceased to protect you decades ago, now they are JUST there to KEEP YOU IN. TO BE A CHILD AS AN ADULT IS TO LIVE IN A CAGE OF YOUR ‘EGO SAFETY’ – YOUR INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS TO YOUR CONTINUAL ANXIETY, A CAGE OF ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’ = LONG TERM FAILURE. YES, YOU ARE SECRETLY TERRIFIED OF LIFE BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT, AND HAVE NO ABILITY TO PROTECT YOURSELF, yet you do nothing about it, YOU SIMPLY ‘FIDDLE WHILE ROME BURNS’….

TO BE A CHILD IS TO ‘BE’ YOUR EGOIC DEFENSES, YOUR FEARS/DESIRES/BOREDOMS, YOUR COMFORTERS, YOUR FANTASIES, you can never SWITCH OFF THAT ‘MISSILE DEFENSE SYSTEM’, you can’t even ignore THE ‘WARNING MESSAGES’, YOU CAN’T stop it POWERING UP, EVEN AIMING BEFORE IT FIRES OFF some self-sabotaging ‘FALSE, instinctive, EMOTIONAL reaction’. Indeed, you think that is a GOOD THING, to have the automatic SHIELD AGAINST LIFE, TO BE ‘CLOSED OFF’ TO EVERYTHING OUTSIDE OF WHAT YOU KNOW YOU WANT/DON’T WANT ALREADY, so your SENSE OF ADVENTURE IS LONG GONE, you are full of gaping holes, leaks you need to close, ASAP. 

SEE YOU THE CHILD HAS BECOME ‘ALL YOU HAVE’, BECAUSE YOU LIVE ‘IN-FEAR’ OF LOSS, OF LESS, OF PAIN as a child, so you don’t even decide to DO IT, TO BE IT, TO ACT IT OUT, IT IS INSTANTANEOUS, IT JUST HAPPENS, LIKE ‘BREATHING’, AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS DOING AND WHY IT IS DOING IT, yet every damn day you trust it with YOUR LIFE, because you THINK IT IS ‘NATURAL TO BE THIS WAY’, you have adapted so completely that you even think its ‘fun’.

SEE ALL OF THIS SHIT IS WHY ‘YOU DON’T WANT TO CHANGE’, HONEY BUNNY, you are not making a choice at all, YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF MAKING CHOICES AS A CHILD, UNLESS, of course, YOU ARE IN SOME WAY ‘FORCED TOO’ DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT BY FOLKS LIKE ME, that in some way you CAN’T ACTUALLY STAY WHERE YOU ARE ANYMORE. So your kinda have to DO SOMETHING then, for a change, SOMETHING OTHER THAN CRAVE THE MOMENTARY RELIEF OF YOUR ‘FUN’, whilst continuing to go round and round in ever decreasing circles on the same motherfucking spot.

SEE ADULTS LIKE ME ARE ‘MEAN TO YOU’, as we have no interest in ‘using you’ like a PARASITE for a cheap thrill, that is BENEATH US, but that is what A CHILD WANTS, because that is what they expect, SO IT COMFORTS THEM – WE ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF IF YOU DECIDE TO ‘CHANGE’. However much that process does actually FEEL LIKE ‘we are who GOD SENDS to BREAK YOU’, breaking down all the illusions you cling to, both today and for many days to come, its not really that, as TODAY ‘YOU’ MUST UNDERSTAND THAT ‘YOU’ NEED TO BREAK ‘YOU’, we are in fact honoring you with even this level of interest – TODAY OUR PRIMARY JOB IS ACTUALLY TO MAKE YOU SEE YOU ARE VERY ‘WRONG’, and illustrate that WITH CLEAR EXAMPLES YOU CAN FIX…

And this is how we start…

WE ALL EXIST IN A ‘CLASS SYSTEM’, A SYSTEM OF LEVELS OF ‘BETTER THAN’ – THAT IS HOW BOTH THE NATURAL AND SUPERNATURAL WORLD WORKS.

THE BOTTOM RUN OF THAT CLASS SYSTEM IS TO BE AN ADULT, EVEN AS AN ANIMAL, SO YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE = YOU CAN DEVELOP.

BUT AS A WEAK CHILD YOU DON’T EXIST, YOU ARE INVISIBLE, INSIGNIFICANT, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING ‘SUBSTANTIAL IN YOU’ TO HELP.

PLEASE TRY AND GET THIS CLEARLY SO YOU FEEL IT – AS A CHILD YOU HAVE ALREADY ‘FAILED LIFE’, YOU HAVE ‘BOTTLED IT’, ITS OVER.

TODAY YOU MUST UNDERSTAND WHY THAT IS CONCEPTUALLY, SO YOU CAN CHANGE IT PRACTICALLY AND VERY QUICKLY…

SEE ‘YOU MUST HELP YOU’, BEFORE WE CAN HELP ‘YOU’, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW ‘THERE IS NO YOU’ TO HELP, BITCH… 

AND THE BEST OF THOSE ‘FAILURE EXAMPLES’ AT THE START IS THIS – you THINK BEING AN INSTINCTIVE CHILD IS WAY MORE NATURAL, AUTHENTIC AND FUN than your REAL LIFE, don’t you, cause your REAL ‘LIFE IS SLAVERY’, so YOU don’t have a ‘scoobie-bloody-do’ want actual FUN is BECAUSE YOU JUDGE IT AGAINST THE WRONG METRIC – THE FUN OF A CHILD IS NOT ‘PLEASURE’, IT IS SIMPLY TO LESSEN ‘THE PRESSURE OF ANXIETY’. THAT IS THE MEASURE YOU USE FOR FUN, ’cause you are JUST A KID, a performing monkey in a zoo, lying to themselves in order to stay sane BECAUSE YOUR CHARACTER, ALL YOUR PETTY LIKES AND DISLIKES IS JUST A SET OF DEFENSIVE REACTIONS/COMFORTERS THAT WAS NEVER MUCH GOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE…

YEP, SORRY ‘N ALL THAT, BUT YOU THINK FUN IS ‘PLAYING IN THE MUD’ LIKE A CHILD TO ‘DISTRACT YOURSELF’, but REAL FUN ONLY EXISTS ON ‘THE OTHERSIDE’ of that stupidity, see REAL FUN IS ‘ADVENTURE’, it’s ABOUT THE ‘USE OF POWER’ TO ‘OVERCOME CHALLENGES’ WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IS ‘GOING TO HAPPEN’ NEXT, BUT YOU ARE CONFIDENT YOU CAN COPE, WHATEVER FUCKING HAPPENS. Then you will discover that your current FUN is just a slightly less boring type of BOREDOM, indeed you are actually in the process of BORING YOURSELF TO DEATH – it is the main source of your ANXIETY…

Yes, however much some of you may have already discovered the SPONTANEOUS NATURE OF REAL FUN, at least in the animal sense of it, DISCOVERED THAT ACTUAL PLEASURE IN ACTION ONLY REALLY COMES FROM THE EXPRESSION OF POWER IN THE MOMENT, you STILL don’t really know what it means, do you – YOU CHASE FUN, COMFORT THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY PLEASURABLE, YOU DO IT SIMPLY TO FEEL ‘A BIT BETTER’, WHICH IS ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING LESS SHIT, LESS POWERLESS, LESS USELESS, LESS CONFUSED, LESS SILLY, SAD AND STUPID, LESS BROKEN, LOST AND ALONE, LESS SICK, FAT AND UGLY. You are wearing tight shoes for the relief of taking them off, and there is no pleasure in that…

SO BE CLEAR RIGHT NOW LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS – YOUR TREASURED COMFORTS ARE ‘DOG SHIT’ – TO ‘FEEL SLIGHTLY LESS POWERLESS’ FOR A FEW MOMENTS IS NOT THE SAME AS ‘FEELING POWERFUL’, FEELING IN CONTROL, FEELING MIGHTY, FEELING CONSEQUENTIAL. INDEED CLINGING ON TO YOUR COMFORT BLANKET OF TRIVIAL FUN IS THE EXACT BLOODY OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING, IF YOU WANT THE ACTUAL PLEASURE THAT EXISTS AS ‘A THING IN ITSELF’, AND IS COMPLETELY SEPARATE TO THE PAINFULLY POWERLESS POVERTY OF YOUR RELATIVE STATE OF MIND!

KNOW IT IS ONLY WHEN ‘YOU’ HAVE CHANGED YOUR MIND THAT ‘YOU’ CAN DECIDE TO CHANGE HOW ‘YOU’ FEEL ‘ABOUT’ YOURSELF AND ‘IN’ YOURSELF, ALL THE TIME. BUT THAT IS ONLY POSSIBLE WHEN YOU’RE BETTER THAN THE FUCKED UP LITTLE MESS YOU ARE NOW, BETTER THAN YOUR ‘EXCUSES’, because BEING STUCK IN A CHILDLIKE STATE OF MIND AS AN ADULT IS UN-NATURAL, IT IS AN ILLNESS – TODAY YOU MUST SEE THIS CLEARLY. 

SEE YOU ARE A BABY IN A PRAM, YOU ARE A MONKEY IN A CAGE, A MONKEY WHO, WHEN OFFERED THE CHOICE BETWEEN A BOX OF BANANAS OR THAT SAME BOX FULL OF GOLD ALWAYS CHOOSES THE BANANAS, CAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT GOLD IS, WHAT IT FOR, HOW MUCH MORE VALUABLE IT IS BECAUSE YOU CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW, AND WHAT WILL GIVE YOU THE MOST RELIEF AND THE LEAST FEAR, IN THE MOMENT OF YOUR TINY LITTLE ATTENTION SPAN.

SO A CHILD CANNOT GROW, CANNOT GO AGAINST ITSELF, ITS EGO SAFETY, AS CHILD HAS TO BE FORCED TO GROW, TO BE TORN AWAY FROM THE COMFORTS OF ITS ‘MUMMIES TIT’ BEFORE IT DISCOVERS THAT IT ACTUALLY HAD TO GROW TO SURVIVE. EVEN WORSE A CHILD HAS TO THINK, THINK AND THEN THINK SOME MORE IN ORDER TO EXIST, SO IT TORTURES ITSELF BY PAYING ATTENTION TO WHATEVER APPEARS IN ITS HEAD, AS IF THAT HAS SOME SORT OF REALITY, BUT THAT SHIT IS JUST HISTORIC REACTIONS TRIGGERED BY THE RANDOMNESS OF WHATEVER PASSES BY, SO YOU HAVE NO CONSTANT SENSE OF YOURSELF, LIKE AN ADULT, ‘YOU ARE YOUR REACTIONS TO YOUR ENVIRONMENT’, WHICH YOU ACCEPT TOTALLY, LIKE A DORK…   

SO TODAY, NOW, YOU MUST ACCEPT THAT IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY BECAUSE IT IS NECESSARY.

SEE YOU ARE STUCK HOLDING ON TO YOUR CHILDHOOD, BUT IT WAS JUST A ‘PASSING PHASE, A ‘HOLDING ACTION’.

SO NOW YOU NEED TO GROW UP, YOU NEED TO ‘GIVE UP’ ON YOUR CHILDISH ‘INFERIORITY’ AS A STATE OF MIND.

YOU NEED TO CREATE A ‘NEW’ SENSE OF WHO YOU WISH TO BE, AS WITHOUT THAT YOU ARE ‘NOTHING’…

BUT YOU CAN’T THINK THAT UP YOURSELF, YOU MUST ACCEPT AND DEVELOP ‘TO A SET STANDARD’.

AND FOR GIFTED THIS NEW ‘SENSE OF YOURSELF’ IS OF ‘BEING BETTER THAN’ THE KIDS…

YES – MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL – KNOW if you NEVER GET HELP TO FIX THIS then you will NEVER GROW UP, SO YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DEVELOP YOURSELF. However hard it is later in life, it is NEVER TO LATE TO ‘WANT TO’ GROW UP, BUT YOU CAN NEVER GROW UP ‘BY YOURSELF’, VIA YOUR ‘MOOD OF EGO SAFETY’, AS YOU DON’T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY, you literally stumble around in the DARKNESS OF ANXIETY AS A CHILD, because you are POWERLESS.

SEE IF YOU NEVER GROW UP, NEVER DEVELOP THAT CONSTANT INTERNAL SENSE OF YOURSELF, COMPLETELY SEPARATE TO YOUR EVER CHANGING EXTERNAL REALITY, then YOUR CONSCIOUS SELF, YOUR ‘I’ THAT SEES WILL NEVER SEPARATE FROM YOUR THOUGHTS OF THE MOMENT, SO THEY WILL ALWAYS COMPELL YOU, BE YOU, CONTROL YOU. THOSE REACTIONS WILL DOMINATE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, CREATING SUFFERING AS EMOTION IN ORDER TO PUSH YOU AROUND, INSTEAD OF SIMPLY AMUSING YOU, AS YOU CONSTANTLY REMEMBER THE POINT, THE GOAL OF WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO COME WHAT MAY, ‘AGAINST THEM’, so can clearly see in the moment if this or that EGOIC REACTION IS USEFUL OR USELESS… 

Yep, the COMPULSION TO FOLLOW YOUR EGOIC COMFORTS of A CHILD, THE ‘COMFORTS OF RELIEF’ has become a form of PRISON YOU LIVE IN, and you can never escape by yourself – YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, simply because you ‘DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHNG’ ELSE – YOU ARE ‘TRAPPED’ IN CHILDISH COMFORT, ‘YOUR FUN’. YOU HAVE MADE IT ‘WORK FOR YOU’, BY WHATEVER REPETITIVE, CREEPY, SECRETIVE LITTLE EXTREMES YOU HAVE TO GO TO IN ORDER GET RELIEF FROM YOUR ‘REAL LIFE’ – BELEIVE IT OR NOT, BUT YOU HAVE UNCONSCIOUSLY CREATED A SHIT REAL LIFE ON PURPOSE, AS WITHOUT IT NONE OF YOUR ‘FUN’ WOULD BE FUN ANYMORE, it would be the same load of BORING, TRIVIAL BOLLOCKS THAT THE REST OF ‘US’ SEE…

See… HAVE YOU NEVER NOTICED HOW MUCH ‘YOUR FUN’, YOUR FANTASIES ‘WEAR OFF’ LIKE A CATCHY BUT OTHERWISE FORMULAIC LITTLE ‘POP SONG’, THAT THE SAME THING DONE OVER AND OVER BECOMES ‘LESS FUN’, AND LATER ‘NO FUN’, AND LATER STILL YOU LEARN TO FECKING LOATHE IT? It’s because YOUR FUN IS NOT ACTUALLY PLEASUREABLE IN THE ADULT SENSE OF THE WORD, IT IS SIMPLY VARIOUS FORMS OF ‘DISTRACTION FROM ANXIETY VIA EMOTION’, VIA TEMPORARY ‘RELIEF FROM SUFFERING’, EVEN IF THAT SUFFERING IS SIMPLY THE FORCED MENTAL CRAVING FOR THAT SAME LITTLE FUN, A ‘FAKE SUFFERING’ SENT BY SOMETHING TO CONTROL YOU…

WHAT-A-SHOCKER, eh, when you look into how Self Destruction works, WHEN see your whole miserable little existence is now based on ‘TRYING TO FEEL POWERFUL IN THE MOMENT OF YOUR POWERLESSNESS’, EG LESS POWERLESS, FOR A SECOND OR TWO as a TYPE OF ‘FORCED RELIEF FROM SUFFERING’, which overall makes you FEEL EVEN MORE POWERLESS AS IT ‘WEAKENS YOU’. Its actually a slow, nasty little form of SUICIDE – more you CHASE COMFORT THE WEAKER YOU FEEL AFTERWARDS, so YOU are even more COMPELLED TO CHASE MORE EXTREME FORMS OF COMFORT MORE OFTEN, so you get EVEN WEAKER. On and on it goes, but you STILL call THAT SHIT FUN…

Get it – TAKEN TO EXTREMES this is what A DRUG ADDICT ‘IS’, AS IN ‘THE END’ OBLIVION IS ALL THAT IS LEFT, ALL THAT IS ‘BEARABLE’. Frankly for SOME of you its ONLY YOUR FEAR OF PERSONAL SCORN, SOCIAL EXCLUSION AND PHYSICAL DECLINE THAT STOPS YOU INJECTING HEROIN – THE CONSTANT HUMILIATION OF YOU SECRET DAMNATION HAS ALREADY BURNT MUCH OF YOUR FAMOUS RESILIANCE TO ASHES, SO YOUR ‘MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES’ ARE VERY PUBLIC NOW. You ‘fray at the edges’ very easily, don’t you, any old tedious drama will just set you off like a cheap firework… 

SO TRY AND SEE THIS NOW BEFORE WE START TODAY – YOUR FUN IS A CON FOR CHILDREN, A PERVERTED FORM OF THE GENUINE, NATURAL AND NECESSARY TRAINING OF BABY ANIMALS THAT YOU HAVE TWISTED AND GOT STUCK IN – YOU NEVER HAD TO MOVE ON WHEN ‘YOU LEFT THE NEST’, LIKE WILD ANIMALS HAVE TO. SO NOW YOUR NEED FOR ‘PLAYTIME’ DOMINATES YOUR ‘ADULT LIFE’ which you live LIKE A CHILD – IN A VERY REAL SENSE YOU ARE STUCK IN A ‘MENTAL TRAINING SIMULATION’, BELIEVING REALITY ‘IS’ THAT SIMULATION, SO THINKING, FEELING AND ACTING LIKE A DELUDED FOOL.

SEE ALL ANIMALS KNOW THEY ‘HAVE TO GROW UP’, THAT BEING A CHILD IS TO LIVE IN A FAKE, UNREAL, PROTECTED WORLD THAT DOES NOT ACTUALLY EXIST OUTSIDE OF YOUR HEAD – ANIMALS KNOW THEY MUST GROW UP TO SURVIVE, TO HAVE REAL FUN, TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES. THEY KNOW THEY MUST STOP PLAY FIGHTING AND GET TO ACTUALLY FIGHTING, TO DEALING WITH ‘CONFLICT OVER RESOURCES’. SO THEY DEVELOP THE SENSE OF ‘PERSONAL POWER’ THEY NEED TO ‘COMPETE EFFECTIVELY’, OTHERWISE THEY ARE ALREADY AS GOOD AS DEAD…

YOU ROB YOURSELF OF 9/10 OF WHO YOU ACTUALLY ARE AS A CHILDISH ANIMAL, A PUPPY, WHAT YOU CAN DO IS LIMITED TO YOUR ‘CULTURAL NORMS’, THE AVERAGE OF YOUR LITTLE ‘HERD’, BUT THAT LOSS IS A HUGE 99% OF WHO YOU ARE, SHOULD YOU BE GIFTED – ‘YOUR REALITY’ IS HIDDEN FROM YOU. SO YOU HAVE NO CHANCE – EVERYTHING YOU TRY TO DO ENDS UP AS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU REALLY WANT, AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ‘WHY’, OR ‘HOW’, THAT IS WHAT ‘DELUDED’ MEANS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN ‘REALTIME’ AS A ‘BIG PICTURE’, SO YOU WILLING ACT AGAINST YOUR BEST INTERESTS, OFTEN SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS ‘COOL’ = CONTINUAL SELF-SABOTAGE AS A ‘LIFESTYLE CHOICE’.

THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BETTER WAY OF COURSE, PERFECTED MULTIPLE TIMES IN MULTIPLE EPOCHS, WAYS THAT SHOW YOU THAT ADULT FUN DOES NOT DECLINE, IT BUILDS AND BUILDS THE MORE YOU DO IT, BECOMES PART OF WHO YOU ARE, STRENGTHENS YOU, AND AFTER A WHILE THE SENSE OF PLEASURE NEVER ACTUALLY LEAVES YOU. But a child PLAYS AT EVERYTHING AND COMMITS TO NOTHING, A CHILD BELIEVES NOTHING REALLY MATTERS ‘TO THEM’ AS OTHERS WILL LOOK AFTER WHAT ‘MATTERS’ FOR THEM, SO NOTHING STICKS – A CHILD TAKES THE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE CHANGING CHANCES AT THE SAME LEVEL AS WASHING THEIR ‘FACE’, AND SO FUCKS UP CONSTANTLY WITH LITTLE CARE, OR CONCERN.

MAKE NO MISTAKE – IN NATURE A CHILD ‘HAS TO CHANGE’ TO SURVIVE IN THE WILD, AS THAT CHANGE INVOLVES EATING TODAY, IT HAS TO BECOME ITSELF IN ORDER TO REALIZE THE POTENTIAL GIFTED IT BY ITS ANCESTORS. BUT YOU DON’T, AS ‘YOUR LAW’ IS CORRUPT – THE VALUES YOU SHOULD LIVE BY ARE JUST TODAYS VERSION OF ‘A FAILED SLAVE SOCIETY’, THAT WANTS YOU TO STAY A CHILD, BE PRODUCTIVE, to CONSUME, AND PREFERABLY DIE QUIETLY JUST AFTER YOU RETIRE. BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU UNDERSTAND THESE ‘FACTS OF LIFE’ FOR A MOMENT, YOU WON’T CHANGE, WILL YOU – THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF NOT BEING WHO YOU WERE YESTERDAY, OF DECIDING TO BE DIFFERENT TODAY IS TOTALLY ‘BEYOND CHILDISH YOU’…

SEE YOU CAN’T GROW UP, CAN YOU, as ‘YOU’ ONLY KNOW WHAT ‘YOU NEED’, RIGHT NOW TO FEEL BETTER AGAINST YOUR ‘ILLNESS’ – YOU HATE EVEN THE MENTION OF THE PHRASE ‘GET A GRIP, PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GROW UP’, because it ‘SHAMES YOU’, reminds you of all your failure, incompetence and laziness, like a little kid. SO YOU HAVE TO ‘BLANK IT OUT’, swap it with some formulaic fantasy that ‘overpowers reality’, as that is the point of your fantasies, fool, and they are OFTEN STRONGEST IN THE MOMENT TO DISTRACT YOU FROM SOMETHING ELSE YOU REALLY SHOULD BE DOING INSTEAD, RIGHT NOW… 

Yet, if I said ‘Everything that kills me makes me feel alive’ (Sorry, One Republic) YOU WOULD GET A BONER, it would EXCITE YOU, because you ‘CHASE YOU OWN SELF DESTRUCTION’ as a CHILD, however unconsciously, yet strangely you can never SEE the ‘PROCESS OF DEATH’ in that same moment, the uncontrollable dread, pain and terror of actually dying, all the screaming and blood at the moment of death, WHICH IS A PITY, AS THAT SHIT CHANGES YOU QUICKER THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS EARTH…

BUT YOU HAVE PROBABLY NEVER EVEN SEEN A DEAD BODY UP CLOSE IN REALITY HAVE YOU, LET ALONE SOMEONE YOU KNOW, LET ALONE ACTUALLY WATCHED THEM DIE A VIOLENT, UNEXPECTED DEATH – YOU THINK SELF-DESTRUCTION IS ‘SEXY’ SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA ‘WHAT DYING LOOKS LIKE’ – to You there is NO RISK of DEATH, as you would not even have the GUTS FOR THAT. See, you cannot even ‘imagine dying’ can you, YOU DON’T SEE YOURSELF DYING A LITTLE MORE EVERY DAMN DAY, even the ‘big chunks of dying’ that happen AFTER YOUR CHEAP LITTLE THRILLS… well, until its too late of course, until even you notice you LOOK, SOUND AND SMELL LIKE A WALKING CORPSE…

VERY SADLY TODAY, unlike the ancient Mystery Schools, the source of all our modern-day ‘Religion’, we can not use your ‘fear of THE PROCESS of dying’ TO GROW YOU UP ‘FAST’, ‘IN THE MOMENT OF YOUR TERROR’, AS YOU SIMPLY DON’T HAVE IT AS A MODERN, WESTERN CHILD, it has been concealed from you BY YOUR SOCIETY, and, frankly, there are actual laws that stop us doing that TO YOU. No… we must find another way TO GROW YOUR STUPID ASS UP, THAT ‘YOU CAN DO TO YOU’, ALL SAFE AND SOUND AT ‘HOME’, that even you the CHILDISH PUSSY can wrap your little head around, AND FIND THE EMOTIONAL ENERGY YOU NEED TO DO IT, TO PUSH THROUGH AND PAST YOUR RESISTANCE TO IT.

SO BURN THIS INTO YOUR MIND – 

TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE WEAK, ‘POWERLESS’, WHICH FEELS ‘ANXIOUS’ TO YOU.

‘ANXIOUS’ CAN ONLY REACT, SO IT FOLLOWS ITS ROUTINES, SO ITS SLOW, CONFUSED, BLIND, SCARED, CREEPY AND ‘MENDACIOUS’.

A CHILD CANNOT ‘DECIDE TO DO ANYTHING’, EVERYTHING IS SIMPLE ‘EXTERNAL CAUSE AND EFFECT’, SO IS RANDOM CHAOS.

EVERYTHING YOU ‘THINK YOU DO’ IS A CONSCIOUS REACTION TO PATTERNS OF BANAL LITTLE TRIGGERS STORED UP IN YOUR UNCONSCIOUS OVER THE DECADES OF BEING A FECKLESS LITTLE CHILD = WHAT THEY CALL ‘COMPLEXES’.

THESE COMPLEXES ARE ‘NOT YOU’, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT CONSCIOUS OF THEM AS A CHILD, SO THEY CONTROL YOU WITH EASE, AND ‘YOU THE CHILD’ ARE FORCED TO BUILD ‘A CHARACTER’ OUT OF THEM, TO MAKE THEM NORMAL.

BUT THOSE COMPLEXES ARE NOT A CHARACTER, THERE IS NO CONSCIOUS CHOICE, SO YOU THE CHILD HAVE ‘THE CHARACTER OF NO CHARACTER’, OF SIMPLE PATTERN REACTIONS, A SET OF AUTO DEFENSIVE ACTIONS YOU HAVE LONG FORGOTTEN THE POINT OF.

SO YOU ARE CONTROLLED, LITTLE MORE THAN A ‘FUCK PUPPET’, WHO IS FUCKED BY LIFE EVERY MOMENT, HUMILIATED AND TORTURED FOR FUN OF OTHERS, BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD – YOU ARE WEAK AND STUPID, BUT YOU THINK ITS ‘COOL’.

MAKE NO MISTAKE – BEING AN ADULT IS ABOUT POWER – THE FEELING AND THE USE OF ‘PERSONAL POWER’ WHICH REPLACES THE ‘ANXIETY OF A CHILD’, WHICH ALLOWS AN ADULT TO ACT FROM A PLACE OF ‘BEING AT PEACE’, OF ‘OPENESS TO LIFE’.

SO BEST FACE IT NOW – TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE ‘UNSTABLE’, A GUTLESS BITCH AS ‘A CONSTANT STATE OF MIND’ WHICH YOU ARE FOREVER TRYING TO ESCAPE FOR A MOMENT, THAT IS YOUR ‘LIFE GOAL’, SUCH AS ‘YOUR LIFE OF NO LIFE’ IS, EG OF NO ADVENTURE OR CHANGE IS. YOU HAVE ‘NO POINT’, NO REASON TO EXIST OTHER THAN THAT BANAL CYCLE, WHICH IS WHY SO MANY OF YOU KILL YOURSELVES OR TURN TO DRUGS WHEN IT BECOMES TOO UNBEARABLE. 

YES – YOU LIVE ‘IN FEAR’ DON’T YOU, YOUR LIFE IS A QUEST TO MAKE BEING A ‘CHILD BEARABLE’ TODAY…

YOU LIVE IN YOUR ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’, SO EVERY REACTION YOU HAVE IS DEFENSIVE, SO YOU CAN’T BE ANY DIFFERENT – IN ORDER TO GROW, CHANGE, ‘YOU’ HAVE TO ‘LOSE’, AND YOU CAN NEVER FACE THAT TRUTH, CAN YOU…

YOU WEAR YOU EGO LIKE A SUIT OF ARMOUR, LIKE A MISSLE DEFENSE SYSTEM, ALWAYS DRIVEN BY THE NEED TO DEFEND ITSELF, TO ‘REACT TO THREATS’, BUT AN ADULT DOES NOT NEED TO BE ‘EN-GUARD’, AN ADULT CAN DEAL WITH WHATEVER HAPPENS.

BUT YOU ARE JUST ONE MORE TEDIOUS LITTLE ‘CHAIN STORE’ KID, AMONGST BILLIONS JUST LIKE YOU – ‘NOTHING’ FOREVER…

WHAT A TEDIOUS LITTLE DESPERATE SHIT SHOW YOU ARE, EH, YET YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE FINE…  

SO HERE IS THE ‘KEY BIT’ – THE ONE ASPECT OF BEING A CHILD YOU NEED TO GRASP NOW, THE ONE SIMPLE MECHANISM YOU LACK AS A CHILD – THE KEY REASON THAT ‘NOTHING/EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT’, THE REASON ‘YOU DON’T CARE’ ABOUT YOURSELF IN ESSENCE, AS A ‘THING IN ITSELF’, IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF IT – YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF YOURSELF, OF ‘WHO YOU ARE’, THE ‘WEIGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY TO YOURSELF AS IMPORTANT’ IN SOMEWAY IS SIMPLY MISSING IN ACTION, AS YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO DEVELOP ONE, everything you THINK YOU ARE IS AN EXTERNAL REACTION…

YOU SIMPLY DON’T FEEL ‘BETTER THAN’ ANYONE ELSE DO YOU, that entire, and most fundamental part of BOTH the NATURAL AND SUPERNATURAL WORLD IS COMPLETELY MISSING FROM YOUR ‘EXPERIENCE OF LIFE’. YOU DON’T FEEL ANYTHING ‘all the time’, DO YOU, its all a passing phase, and if was not for the most basic, MOST RELATIVE, SUBJECTIVE AND TRANSITORY symbols of ANIMAL POWER, (MONEY, LOOKS, SMARTS, SOCIAL STATUS, POWER OVER OTHERS, STUFF, PROPERTY, CONNECTIONS), you would have no TEMPORARY SENSE OF ‘FEELING BETTER THAN OTHERS’ AT ALL, even briefly, for a moment. 

So the most fundamental mechanism on this planet, the one that drives all progress, the MAGICAL PROCESS of EVOLUTION IS DENIED YOU, so all you can do is DEVOLVE, DEGENERATE, AND DESTROY YOURSELF. See sadly those are the only 2 approaches you can take to this life IN TERMS OF AN OVERARCHING GOAL AS AN ANIMAL, THE ONE THING THAT DEFINES EVERYTHING YOU DO AS THAT GOAL BECOMES THE ROOT OF  YOUR CHARACTER – TO CHASE ‘DEGENERATE COMFORT’ OR ‘EVOLUTIONARY CHALLENGE’… 

YOU FEEL NO ‘WEIGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY of YOUR IMPORTANCE, YOUR PLACE IN THIS WORLD’ AS A CHILD.

SEE IT IS THE CONSTANT FELT WEIGHT INSIDE YOURSELF THAT REMINDS AN ADULT THAT YOU ARE ‘NOT THIS MOMENT’, THAT YOU HAVE A GREATER POINT/PURPOSE THAN IT, AND SO CAN OVERCOME THE URGES OF THIS MOMENT.

MANY CULTURES BOTH ANCIENT AND MODERN HAVE INVENTED THIS RESPONSIBILITY IN ORDER TO GROW UP ITS KIDS, WITH ‘FAMILIAR DUTY’ AND ‘ANCESTOR VENERATION’ BEING PARTICULARLY EFFECTIVE, AS THEY LEAD TO SPIRITUALITY.

OUTSIDE OF THE VERY TOP OF OUR SOCIETY ITS ALL LONG GONE IN THE WEST OF COURSE, BUT MY PERSONAL FAVORITE OF THESE IS ‘GIRI’ – TO CARRY ‘THE EMOTIONAL BURDEN OF EXTERNAL OBLIGATION’ FOR ITS OWN SAKE, AS IT ‘IMPROVES YOU’, BY ITSELF.

BE CLEAR – IT IS NOT THE SPECIFIC OBLIGATION OR DUTY ITSELF THAT MATTERS, IT IS THAT YOU ARE FORCED TO TRAIN YOURSELF THAT ‘DUTY’ IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU THE CHILD WANTS, SO CAN BE USED ON ANY OTHER HIGHER PURPOSE…

BUT YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT SINCE BIRTH THAT OTHERS DEFINE YOU, TELL YOU WHAT TO DO, WHO YOU ARE, SO YOU NEVER NEEDED TO BE ‘RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF’, OTHERS WITH POWER OVER YOU DID THAT, SO YOU HAD TO TRUST THEM…

AND YOU THINK THIS RELIANCE ON OTHERS MAKES YOU ‘FREE’, HAPPY, POWERFUL, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE – IT CREATES THE ILLUSION OF ITS OPPOSITE IN YOUR HEAD, THAT IS WHY YOU THINK RESPONSIBILITY IS WEAK, BUT YOU ARE STRONG.

SEE ‘YOU HAVE NEVER CHANGED THAT MINDSET’, SO YOU DON’T ‘OWN YOURSELF’, YOU ARE NOT ‘IMPORTANT’, SPECIAL, IF YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH OTHERS WILL STILL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO, PROTECT YOU, USE YOU, MAKE YOU ‘FEEL SAFE’, AS A CHILD.

THAT LACK OF OWNERSHIP, THAT LACK OF SELF ‘CARE’ OR ‘URGENCY’ THAT ONLY COMES FROM BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF OR OTHERS, DAMNS YOU TO NOTHINGNESS AS YOU HAVE ‘NO SENSE OF YOURSELF’ – YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF HIGHER VALUES.

BUT A SENSE OF YOURSELF ONLY WORKS AS A ‘POSITIVE JUDGEMENT’ OF ‘BETTER THAN’ BECAUSE ‘YOU ARE SPECIAL’, THAT IS THE REASON CLASS SYSTEMS BASED ON FEELING ‘BETTER THAN’ HAVE BEEN USED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS TO GROW KIDS UP. 

BE CLEAR – YOU MUST HAVE A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY OF WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT IN ORDER TO GROW UP, AND LIVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING – YOU MUST HAVE ‘A POSITIVE SENSE OF YOURSELF’ THAT ‘YOU WISH TO PROTECT’ AS AN ANIMAL.

RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT FUCKING MEANS, SO YOU MUST THINK ABOUT THE MORE BASIC VERSION – YOUR EXTERNAL ‘REPUTATION’, HOW FOLKS TREAT YOU, AS THAT IS THE BASIC FUNCTIONAL ‘LEVEL OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY’.

IT IS VERY USEFUL TO PRACTICE THIS REPUTATION STUFF BY HAVING RESPECT FOR YOURSELF IN THE MOMENT, SO YOU LEARN TO CONTROL YOURSELF, HOW ‘YOU LOOK’ IN YOUR MORE CRUCIAL INTERACTIONS INSTEAD OF BEING YOUR NORMAL TOXIC ‘NATURAL’.

SO KNOW THAT A CHILDS GREATEST WEAKNESS IS THEIR UNCONTROLLED FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THAT GIVE AWAY THEIR THOUGHTS AND SO THEY HAVE NO SECRETS, BUT ‘THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND’ WHY THEIR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS GO BADLY.

THIS PRACTICE OF SELF-RESPECT IS PARTICULARLY EFFECTIVE AT THE START IF YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW YOUR FACE LOOKS IN THESE INTERACTIONS AND CHANGE IT TO SUIT YOUR GOAL IN THE MOMENT THAT YOU HAVE WORKED OUT BEFORE YOU STARTED THAT INTERACTION, AS THAT TYPE OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS HAS COLOSSAL KNOCK BENEFITS.

BUT MUCH AS ALL THIS WILL HELP ‘FIND’ YOUR SENSE OF DUTY, IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO GROW UP, AS YOU THE CHILD WILL ALWAYS BE STRONGER EMOTIONALLY THAN YOUR DESIRE TO GROW UP IS MENTALLY – YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO ‘FORCE YOURSELF’.

SO TODAY WE GET YOU TO DEVELOP A ‘SENSE OF DUTY’ TOWARDS DEVELOPING ‘A CONSTANT FELT WEIGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY’ TOWARD YOURSELF AS A HABIT BECAUSE IT FEELS ‘BETTER THAN’ = BOTTLE = PERSONAL POWER.

THIS PRACTICE IS HOW YOU GO FROM A FECKLESS CHILD, ONE MORE ‘SUICIDE BLONDE’, TO DEVELOPING A SENSE OF YOURSELF AS ‘BETTER THAN THAT’, TO DEVELOP THE SENSE THAT ACTS AS A REFERENCE POINT FOR EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE MOMENT.

SO KNOW FOR CERTAIN – WITHOUT THIS SENSE YOU ARE POND LIFE, STREET TRASH, A COKE WHORE, AS ANYONE CAN GET YOU DO ANYTHING THROUGH THE SIMPLE MANIPULATION OF YOUR OBVIOUS COMPLEXES – YOU ARE BETTER OFF DEAD.

BUT KNOW THE TRICKY BIT IS SIMPLY THIS – RIGHT NOW, FOR THIS POST, FOR YOUR LITTLE LIFE, IT IS ‘YOU THE FECKLESS CHILD’ I’M TALKING TOO, SO IT IS THAT CHILD WHICH NEEDS TO BECOME ATTRACTED TO THIS FOR ITS OWN CHILDISH REASONS…. 

SO HERE IS THE ‘CLEVER BIT’ – TODAY WE MUST USE THE CYCLE OF FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM YOU ARE STUCK IN ‘AGAINST ITSELF’, make the process of GROWING UP attractive to YOU THE CHILD so YOU CAN CHANGE. SEE THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT GROWING UP IS NOT PRETENDING TO BE AN ADULT WHILST FEELING LIKE A WEAK ASS LITTLE CHILD – YOU ARE STILL A CHILD – ‘GOING UP’ IS A ‘RITE OF PASSAGE’ THAT ‘CHANGES YOU’, MAKES YOU BIGGER, STRONG ENOUGH TO ‘OVERPOWER’ ‘YOU THE CHILD’, as ‘YOU THE ADULT’ FEELS A SHITLOAD BETTER THAN THAT, FEELS POWERFUL, FEELS DIFFERENT.

NOW – STAY WITH ME HERE – YOU THE CHILD ALREADY SPENDS MUCH OF ITS LIFE CHASING EXPERIENCES THAT MAKE IT FEEL ‘LESS POWERLESS’ FOR A MOMENT, SORT OF A SLIDING SCALE OF COMFORTS UP TO WHAT THEY CALL PEAK EXPERIENCES, BIG THRILLS. So the trick to this GROWING UP is to GET IT TO ‘LOOK’ VERY SIMILIAR TO WHAT YOU ALREADY DO, PRESENT IT IN A WAY THAT ALSO FULFILS THAT NEED SO YOU THE CHILD WILL REMEMBER TO DO IT, JUST IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN BEFORE IN RESPONSE TO THOSE SAME URGES FOR FUN – A WAY THAT ‘BUILDS YOU’ RATHER THAN ‘KILLS YOU’, A WAY THAT YOU WILL ALSO SEE THE IMPROVEMENT IN YOUR LIFE RESULTS, FAST…

SEE THE ISSUE HERE IS THAT I CAN NOT JUST TELL YOU ‘TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF DUTY TOWARD DEVELOPING A SENSE OF DUTY’ – ITS A CIRCULAR ARGUMENT AND YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO DO IT – YOU HAVE TO BE FORCED TO DO THAT AS A KID OR OTHERWISE IN A VERY STRCIT ‘DEATH OR GLORY’ ENVIROMENT FOR IT TO WORK. TODAY ‘YOU MUST FORCE YOU’ TO DO THIS, SO WE HAVE TO GET THIS PASSED YOUR CHILDISH SNIGGERING AT IT AS ‘NOT COOL’, THAT ‘YOU ARE FUCK UP SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT’, ‘THAT SELF-HELP IS FOR DORKS’, ‘THAT FETISHIZED BDSM IS THE ONLY WAY YOU FEEL ALIVE’, THAT ‘YOU NEED DRUGS TO COPE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU PARENTS DID TO YOU’, OR WHATEVER LEVEL OF WHINNY, WEAK ASS LITTLE EXCUSES OF ‘BLAH, BLAH, FUCKING BLAH’, IN SOME FUTURE MOMENT.

YES, YOUR CHILD MUST ALSO GET SOME BENEFITS FROM DOING THIS PROCESS, SO IT WILL HAPPILY ENGAGE IN THE PROCESS OF ITS OWN SELF-DESTRUCTION, INSTEAD OF ‘YOUR’ DESTRUCTION FOR A CHANGE – ITS QUITE SIMPLE REALLY :  

TO GROW UP YOU MUST ‘DISASSOCIATE’ FROM ‘YOU THE CHILD’ AS IT IS A CHARACTER ‘BORN OF WEAKNESS’.

BUT YOU HAVE TO CHASE THAT GOAL WHILST STILL ACTUALLY BEING, FEELING, THINKING AND ACTING LIKE A CHILD.

SO YOU MUST UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ‘ARE’, WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN, AND BE EMBARRASSED ENOUGH TO CHANGE IT – THIS IS THE TRICK TO ‘DISASSOCIATION’, TO UNDERSTAND IT ‘FIRST’, SO YOU CAN SEE IT ‘LATER’, WHEN ITS ‘HAPPENS’ VIA USING THAT UNDERSTANDING AS A PROCESS.

IN ITS HEART OF HEARTS, WHAT DISASSOCIATION MEANS IS THE RECOGNITION THAT YOU FEEL POWERLESS ALL THE TIME AS A CHILD, SO YOU DECIDE ‘TO CHANGE YOURSELF’ BY ‘MAKING THE CHOICE’ TO ‘DEVELOP THE HABIT’ OF ‘FEELING POWERFUL’ BY FOLLOWING A SET METHOD.

AND YOU MUST BE CLEAR ABOUT THIS, SO YOU KNOW TO LOOK FOR IT WHEN ‘CHANGE HAPPENS BY ITSELF’ WHEN YOU HAVE DONE THE METHOD, PERFECTED THE METHOD ENOUGH TO ‘TIP THE BALANCE’ BETWEEN YOU THE CHILD AND YOU THE ADULT DECISIVELY ONE WAY, AND DON’T JUST GET SCARED OR CONFUSED AGAIN – FOR MOST PEOPLE THE GATEWAY STATE OF MIND INTO ADULTHOOD IS A ‘BLANK CANVAS’ WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENS TO YOU, SO YOU MUST BE ‘TOLD WHAT TO DO’ NEXT.

YES – TO GROW UP YOU MUST FEEL DIFFERENT FROM A CHILD, FROM YOUR ‘THOUGHTS OF EGO SAFETY’ AND ‘SHORT, SHARP, PETTY EMOTIONS’, MUCH AS THOSE THINGS DON’T DISAPPEAR, THAT COMES LATER FOR GIFTED FOLK, BUT THEY ARE MUCH LESS COMPELLING BECAUSE YOU ARE NOW ‘MORE THAN’ THAT ‘CONSCIOUSLY’ AS ‘AN ADULT’ – YOU HAVE A NEW FOUND ‘SENSE OF YOURSELF’ THAT IS CONSTANT, BECAUSE THERE LITERALLY ARE X2 OF YOU NOW – YOU HAVE CREATED THE SPACE FOR ‘GIFTED YOU’ TO EMERGE INTO, SO EVEN LATER YOU CAN RECREATE YOURSELF, but lets not get ahead of ourselves… 

SO HOW DOES THIS WORK THEN? EASY – SEE THE EASY WAY TO THIS IS THIS EASY:

YOU MUST SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM ‘YOU THE CHILDISH STATE OF MIND’ VIA ALWAYS HAVING A BIGGER GOAL IN THE MOMENT.

READ THAT AGAIN…

NOW READ IT AGAIN – UNDERSTAND THE HARD PART IS REMEMBERING TO DO IT, ALL THE TIME…

IN THE SENSE OF GROWING UP THIS GOAL IS SIMPLY THE FELT ‘ACQUISITION AND GROWTH’ OF ‘THE SENSATION OF YOUR BOTTLE’ AS YOUR ONLY ‘HIGHER PURPOSE’.

WITHOUT THIS QUALITY OF BOTTLE ALL OTHER GOALS ARE JUST EGO MANIA, CHILDISH FANTASIES.

AND READ THAT AGAIN – THEN AGAIN PLEASE…

THE HIGHER PURPOSE YOU MUST REMEMBER ALL THE TIME IS THAT YOU ARE ACTING WITH THE POINT OF DEVELOPING YOUR BOTTLE, IN EVERYTHING YOU DO AND SAY AND FEEL…

BUT YOU ARE NOT ACTING IN THE SENSE OF PRETENDING TO HAVE BOTTLE, YOU ARE ‘ACTING’ OUT THE PROCESS OF REACHING FOR THE FEELING OF YOUR BOTTLE, INSTEAD OF JUST REACTING NORMALLY, SO YOU CREATE ‘A GAP’ IN YOUR REACTIONS BY SWITCHING TO THE SENSATION OF YOUR BOTTLE.

UNDERSTAND IN THE RINZAI ZEN SENSE WHAT WE ARE TEACHING YOU HERE IS TO BE ‘SERIOUS’ IN A GOOD WAY – TO HAVE ‘ONE GOAL FRONT OF MIND THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE’, SO WHATEVER ELSE HAPPENS IS ‘EXCLUDED’ FROM THE CHOICE OF YOUR ‘NEXT DECISION’. 

IN TIME YOUR LONGER, STRONGER ‘HIGHER’ ‘THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS’, A NEW DEEPER ‘SENSE OF YOURSELF’, MUST OVERPOWER YOUR WEAK, PETTY, MOMENTARY ‘THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS’ AS THEY COME AND GO FOR A CHILD, AND IT MUST FEEL ‘NATURAL’, ‘RIGHT’.

YES – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT ‘THE YOU’ READING THIS’ IS NOT ACTUALLY YOU, THERE IS A MUCH BETTER VERSION OF YOU WAITING IN THE WINGS, BUT THAT YOU IS NOT ON THE SAME LEVEL AS YOUR ‘CONFLICTION’, IT IS ‘YOUR POINT’ WHICH IS ABOVE YOUR CONFLICTION, SO IT ALWAYS WINS – YOUR FUTURE GOALS BROUGHT INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT. SO ‘YOU’ MUST UNDERSTAND WHAT ‘YOUR YOU’ ACTUALLY ‘IS’ – ‘THE RESOURCES’ AVAILABLE TO THE CONSCIOUS SELF IN THE MOMENT, THE LEVEL OF THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, SENSATIONS, FOCUS, INSIGHT, THINGS THAT MAKE UP YOUR EXPERIENCE OF LIFE, ‘HOW YOU FEEL’, YOUR SENSE OF YOURSELF.

ANY CHANGE TO YOUR SENSE OF YOURSELF HAS TO FEEL GOOD TO ‘YOU THE ANIMAL’ IN THE NOW TO WORK QUICKLY.

SO WE MUST TEACH YOU THAT ‘WEARING’ ‘YOU THE ADULT’ FEELS BETTER THAN YOU THE CHILD, WHILST YOU ARE STILL FEELING, THINKING, REACTING LIKE A CHILD – YOU MUST CON THE LAZY BITCH.

THIS APPROACH IS ‘THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GROW YOURSELF UP’ WITHOUT EXTERNAL INTERVENTION = THE ‘HABIT OF FEELING’ THE LONGER, DEEPER ‘SENSE OF POWER THAT COMES FROM BOTTLE’, WHICH IS A NEW SENSE OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE THE RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO YOU ARE ‘BETTER THAN’.

SEE A CHILD FEELS POWERLESS BY DEFINITION SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PUSHED AROUND BY THEIR ANIMAL MOOD SWINGS WHICH DESTROY THEIR CONSTANT SENSE OF SELF, AND SO TRIES TO GENERATE MOMENTS OF POWERFUL FEELING TO GET SOME RELIEF = YOUR ‘NO SENSE OF YOURSELF’.

SPECIFICALLY, AN ADULT SENSE OF YOURSELF GROWS TO BE BIGGER THAN YOUR MOMENTARY, REACTIONARY SENSE OF YOURSELF, SO THEN ‘YOU THE CHANGEABLE CHILD’ STOPS BEING ‘ALL OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS’ AND BECOMES A SMALLER PART OF IT – THAT IS ‘HOW AN ADULT FEELS’ NATURALLY. 

THE PROBLEM IS THAT THIS CHANGE IS GOING TO FEEL ‘UN-NATURAL’ TO YOU, AS YOUR ‘NATURE’ IS WEAK AND CHILDISH, SO YOU MUST PUSH PAST IT – A CHILD BECOMES ADDICTED TO THE ‘DRAMA CYCLE’ UNCONSCIOUSLY AS ITS NORMAL, THEY LOVE FOREVER ‘COMFORTING THEMSELVES FOR A MOMENT’.

BE CLEAR – THE SIMPLE WAY YOU CREATE ‘ADULT YOU’ AS A SEED IS BY HAVING A HIGHER ‘POINT TO YOUR ACTIONS’ IN THE MOMENT THAT IS BIGGER THAN YOUR CHILDISH MOOD SWINGS SIMPLY BECAUSE ‘YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT’. AT THE START ‘THAT POINT’ IS WHAT ADULT YOU ‘IS’, EVERYTHING ELSE IS STILL YOU THE CHILD, IT IS STILL ‘WEAKNESS IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY’, BUT YOUR NEW FOUND POINT IS WHERE YOU GATHER YOUR ‘STRENGTH’, GATHER ‘THE TRUTH’, AND START TO ‘STOP YOUR ROUTINES’, MAYBE EVEN ADD SOME ‘ADVENTURE’.

THE ISSUE IS YOU WILL NOT STICK TO THAT UNLESS IT IS MORE ATTRACTIVE, MORE PLEASUREABLE TO ‘YOU THE CHILD’ THAN ‘YOUR NORMAL’, AS A HALFWAY HOUSE FOR YOU TO ‘REST YOUR MIND IN’, TO COMFORT YOURSELF AGAINST THE UNCERTAINTY OF CHANGE LIKE ‘A NEW DRUG’. AND THAT IS WHY I USE ‘THE CONSTANT PLEASURE OF HAVING BOTTLE’ – MUCH AS THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF DOING IT, BOTTLE IS GENERIC, BUT SEX, SUFFERING, BIG SHOCKS ETC ARE MUCH MORE SPECIFIC TO ‘TYPE’, PLUS THEY ALSO REQUIRE WELL TRAINED SUPERVISION NOT TO GO BADLY WRONG…

In the way you will come to understand the manners of FREEMASONARY, OF THE ARISTOCRAT, OF THE FACT THAT, FOR EXAMPLE, TO CHOOSE TO BE KIND TO PEOPLE WHO CLEARLY DON’T DESERVE IN THE MOMENT OF THAT KINDNESS, AND SO GO AGAINST YOURSELF, YOUR INSTINCTS TO BE MEAN OUT OF CHOICE RATHER THAN FEAR, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FEAR OF CONFLICT, YOU ARE ACTUALLY BUILDING YOURSELF UP, MAKING YOURSELF MORE AND MORE POWERFUL VIA THE EXERCISE OF THAT POWER AGAINST THE CHALLENGE OF YOUR CHILDISH EGO. See, much to your total shock I’m sure, ‘ADULT MANNERS DO ACTUALLY MAKETH MAN’…  I know, and all this time you were JUST trying, EVER SO DESPERATELY to be ‘secretly cunning’, like A rat, WHILST MAKING A TOTAL TWAT OF YOURSELF AS THAT SECRET CUNNING IS WHAT YOU THOUGHT BEING AN ADULT WAS EH… YEP, ‘BRITISH MANNERS’ ARE NOT ABOUT BEING ‘NICE’, EVEN CLASSY, THEY ARE TOTALLY, 100% SELFISH. 

SEE, YOU HAVE TO GET OVER ALL YOUR HARD-CODED, DEEP-STATE PROGRAMMING ABOUT GROWING UP RIGHT FUCKING NOW, THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT DENYING YOU ALL YOUR TRIVIAL FUN, THIS POST IS ABOUT GROWING UP ENOUGH SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY HAVE FUN, LIVE FOR FUN, ADVENTURE, CHALLENGE, RATHER THAN ‘CHEAP THRILLS’ AS COMFORTERS WHILST YOU LIVE ‘LIKE A SCAREDY CAT’. THAT’S ‘JUST EXISTING’…

OVERALL I HAVE TO GET YOU USED TO ‘WINNING’ AGAINST YOURSELF, AGAINST THE CHALLENGES OF ANIMAL LIFE, SO THAT YOU START ‘EXPECTING TO WIN’ AS A BASELINE STATE = CONFIDENCE. For many of you this is a HUGE CHANGE, as ‘a CHILD EXPECTS TO LOSE’, HOWEVER UNCONSCIOUSLY, THEREFORE THINKS AND ACTS IN THIS WAY AS A BASELINE STATE. YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY PUSHED AROUND ALL THE TIME BY YOUR INTRICATE LITTLE ‘COMPLEXES’ OF FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM LIKE AN ANIMAL, BY YOUR E-MOTIONS – THE FEELINGS THAT CAUSE YOU TO MOVE. But there is no point telling you that ‘LIFE IS SUFFERING’ (Sorry, The Buddha), that the ONLY reason you move AT ALL AS A CHILD is to briefly relieve the PETTY PRESSURE OF SOME COMBINATION OF BOREDOM, FEAR, DESIRE, as it will DO nothing to change it, IN THE MOMENT OF FEELING IT…

SEE YOU JUST ACCEPT IT AS NORMAL, SO YOUR UNCONSCIOUS COMPLEXES OF CRAP, THAT APPEAR SO MEANINGFUL TO YOU, YET ARE DUMB AS FUCK IN REALITY, 100% OWN YOU (YES, AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL YOUR UNCONSCIOUS IS STUPID), OWN ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’ – THE MASTER’ HAS BECOME ‘THE SLAVE’. For many of YOU this issue is so bad THAT YOU SIMPLY CAN’T DO CONFLICT AT ALL, YOU FREELY ADMIT IT WHILST TRYING TO REPOSITION IT MENTALLY AS SOME SORT OF FUCKED UP GOOD THING, whilst getting ‘ass raped’ by LIFE. See this is what we mean by JUST EXISTING, you are simply trying to ‘survive the day’ as painlessly as possible, so you call that ‘winning’, YET YOU DID NOTHING BUT EXIST, so FOR YOU IT WAS ‘A GOOD DAY’  BECAUSE IT WAS ‘NOT THAT BAD’ – ITS OK THAT EVERYTHING IS SHIT AS LONG AS YOU GET TO YOUR BANAL COMFORTS LATER. THAT IS NOT WINNING, ITS LOSING, YOU ARE A LOSER PRETENDING TO WIN TO COMFORT YOURSELF, WHILST ‘FITTING IN’ FOR A QUIET, SAFE, TEDIOUS LITTLE LIFE.

AND WHO THE FUCK WANTS A QUIET, NORMAL LIFE AS A CHILD, A LIFE WHERE NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS, where ‘THE NEEDLE RETURNS TO THE START OF THE SONG AND YOU ALL SING ALONG LIKE BEFORE’ (Sorry Del Amitri). SO WE HAVE TO HIT THE DRAMA BUTTON HARD ON THIS ONE BOYS AND GIRLS, as you must CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT WHAT GROWING UP ‘IS’ = THE AQUISTION AND USE OF ‘THE SENSATION OF BOTTLE’. THIS IS YOUR SELF-INFLICTED ‘RITE OF PASSAGE’, WHERE WE CON YOUR LITTLE CHILD INTO CHOOSING TO GROW UP BY DITCHING THE BUDDHAS ADVICE, AND TAKING SUNS TZUS INSTEAD – WE GROW YOU UP VIA DECEIVING YOUR CHILD THAT THIS IS SIMPLY THE NEXT GOOD TIME, so you have some decent chance of DOING IT…

CLEVER EH? YEP, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY WE HAVE TO DO THIS WAY…? DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU HAVE TO CLASS YOUR SHIT UP, GET SOME GAME, SOME OVERSIGHT OF YOURSELF, HOPEFULLY SOMETIME BEFORE YOU BITCHES ACTUALLY BORE MY ASS TO DEATH..?

SEE YOU THINK THIS IS ‘BORING’, DON’T YOU, YET ITS SOOOOOOO COOL TO BE A CHILD, TO BE GUTLESS, HARMLESS AND JUST CHASE ‘COMFORT’.

YET YOUR LIFE ONLY REALLY STARTS AFTER YOU HAVE GROWN UP, AS THAT IS THE ONLY TIME YOU CAN EVER DO ANY FUCKING THING.

SEE WHEN YOU HAVE BOTTLE YOU CAN DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING ‘COME WHAT MAY’, BECAUSE YOU CAN BE ‘CONSISTENT’. 

BUT IN ORDER TO DO ANYTHING, TO BE AN ADULT, ‘YOU’ MUST ‘DISASSOCIATE’ FROM ‘THE YOU’ THAT ‘CAN’T DO SHIT’…

THIS DISASSOCIATION IS A STATE OF MIND, A DIFFERENT FEELING, NOT JUST THE BELIEF/OPINION ABOUT YOURSELF.

SEE IT IS NO USE JUST TELLING YOURSELF ‘YOU’, THE CHILDISH FUCK UP, IS ‘SHIT’, YOU MUST SEE YOURSELF BE SHIT, BE WRONG.

MANY OF YOU HAVE ALREADY HAD THIS BY ACCIDENT FOR A MOMENT OR 2, WITH NO CLUE WHAT IT IS FOR, SO WASTED IT.

BUT UNLIKE ANY PREVIOUS EPISODES, YOU MUST NOW DO IT ‘ON PURPOSE’, LIKE A ZEN ADEPT WHO KNOWS ‘WHO THEY ARE’.

SO YOU MUST START TO AIM FOR MUCH STRONGER, DEEPER, LONGER LEVELS OF CONTROLLED FEELING, AS THAT IS THE POINT.

YEP – YOUR ‘CLASSLESS’ SOCIETY HAS LEFT YOU TO ROT AT THE BACK OF THE BUS, WITH YOUR SUGARY SNACKS, YOUR SHORT SKIRT, AND YOUR EVEN SHORTER MEMORY, CHASING ONE WEAK, MOMENTARY EMOTION AFTER ANOTHER, BECAUSE IT NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT CLASS WAS ACTUALLY FOR – YOUR SOCIETY IS DESIGNED AS A ‘FIELD FOR COWS’, WHO MUST BE KEPT DELUDED TO BE HAPPY, STABLE, OTHERWISE THEY ATTACK THE FARMERS…

SEE ALL YOUR CRAVING FOR ‘TRIVIAL FUN’, ‘COMFORT’ IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP – YOUR ‘FUN’ IS JUST A LESSER TYPE OF ‘BOREDOM’.

NOT THAT IT IS YOUR FAULT OF COURSE, BUT IT IS ‘THE PROBLEM’, AND THE ROOT OF ALL YOUR OTHER PROBLEMS, ALL YOUR ‘FAILURE’. 

YES, TO LIVE LIKE A CHILD AS AN ADULT MEANS THERE IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING ‘WRONG WITH YOU’ – IT’S SICK, UNNATURAL.

BUT YOU THINK ‘WE’ ENVY YOU DON’T YOU, THAT WE DENY OURSELVES AND SUFFER FOR SOME IMPOSSIBLE GOOD, AND THAT JUST TO READ ABOUT DEVELOPMENT, CHAT ABOUT IT LIKE YOU KNOW ANY FUCKING THING WHILST STILL BEING A BIG KID IS ‘THE SHIT’, THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, LIKE A CLEVER BITCH… BUT YOU ARE DEAD WRONG, YOU ARE A FAKE TWAT, SO UNLESS WE GET YOU TO CHANGE THAT OPINION YOU ARE FUCKING DOOMED – TO KNOW ABOUT DEVELOPMENT AND NOT DO IT ON PURPOSE IS THE WORST OF BOTH WORLDS YOU TOOL, CAUSE IT DEGRADES YOU EVEN QUICKER…

AND IF YOU WANT TO FIX IT, IF YOU WANT TO ‘STOP FAILING’, IT’S VERY IMPORTANT YOU SEE IT FROM THIS PERSPECTIVE.

SEE, I’M NOT KIDDING, TO US YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN THE CRACKHEADS IN THE STREET APPEAR TO YOU – FREAKS.

BUT IF YOU DON’T, IF YOU ARE A HAPPY LITTLE FUCK-UP LIKE ‘MOST OF YOU’, THEN STOP READING RIGHT NOW.

See TO GROW UP AS AN ADULT MEANS YOU ARE GOING TO NEED A LOT OF EMOTIONAL ENERGY, AT THE LEVEL YOU ONCE HAD AS A CHILD, PRODUCE AND DIRECT THIS ENERGY TO YOUR BENEFIT, INSTEAD OF THE WAY YOU DO NOW AS A KID, WHERE YOU CHASE YOUR DEGREDATION, YOUR HUMILIATION, YOUR DEMISE. And that is really NOT COOL, that is a ‘crackhead’, SO EVEN THE STATE YOU READ THIS IN MUST CHANGE, YOU MUST SEE YOUR STRANGENESS FOR WHAT IT IS, A FORM OF ILLNESS, OF SELF DESTRUCTION THAT IS NOT COOL, IT’S LITERALLY TOXIC, POISONOUS, PARASITIC = YOU’RE A ‘BAD ACTOR’. 

YOU MUST STOP JUSTIFYING BEING A TOTAL ‘PUSSY’, ‘GROW UP’ AND STAND UP ‘TO’ YOURSELF BY CHOICE, NOT FEAR.

SEE EVERY DECENT THING YOU WANT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ‘GROWING UP’, EVERYTHING WORTH HAVING AT ALL.

BUT SOON YOU WON’T HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY LEFT TO ‘GROW UP’, YOU WILL HAVE PISSED IT ALL AWAY ON BEING A CHILD.

SEE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE A STEREOTYPE, A COPYCAT – YOU CAN NEVER BE AN INDIVIDUAL AS A CHILD, JUST A FUCKED UP KID.

SO HOWEVER STEREOTYPICAL THE PHRASE HAS BECOME, IT IS STILL BLOODY AWESOME:

‘YOU MUST GET A GRIP’ WHILE THERE IS STILL SOMETHING LEFT TO GRIP ONTO.

WHY DO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, EASY – ALL ‘BOTTLE’ AT A TRAINEE LEVEL STARTS FROM ‘TUNING INTO’ A SENSATION OF ‘RELAXED’ INTERNAL TENSION, A TYPE OF STRENGTH THAT CREATES ENERGY, THAT FEELS LIKE ‘ANOTHER YOU’ IS ‘GRIPPING ONTO YOURSELF’ WITHOUT TRYING THAT HARD. THE TRICK FOR GIFTED SPECIFICALLY IS TO TRY AND TUNE IN TO SOMETHING THAT IS ALREADY THERE AS AN EMOTIONAL TENSION ONCE YOU GET ‘KEYED UP’ OR ‘GIRD YOUR LOINS’, RATHER THAN JUST TRY AND CREATE RANDOM PHYSICAL TENSION, WHICH IS AN ANIMAL-LEVEL THING.

IF YOU ARE LUCKY, AND HAVE SUFFERED OFTEN FROM THE GIFTED LEVEL OF SELF-CONSCIOUS EMBARRASSMENT, then you will know what it feels like TO BE GRIPPED BY SOMETHING INTERNALLY THAT FEELS EXTERNAL. NOW you must train yourself to feel that sensation ON COMMAND, VIA EVOKING IT SO YOU CAN ‘TUNE INTO IT’, WITHOUT LABELLING IT AS FEAR OR ‘EMBARRASSMENT’, as it is actually THERE ALL THE TIME. See fear and embarrassment just make YOUR BOTTLE stronger for a moment, MAKE YOU LABEL A DEEP AND COMPLEX THING AS LITTLE MORE THAN YOUR PETTY LITTLE JUDGEMENT OF ONE TINY ASPECT OF IT THAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, because you are a CHILD – YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE FEELING IS BOTH NECESSARY AND GOOD FOR YOU…

YEP, I KNOW ITS SIMPLE BUT SO DA FUCK ARE YOU BITCH – ALL CHILDREN ARE ‘DUMB AS A BRICK’. SO IF YOU ARE GIFTED YOU MUST UNDERSTAND NOW – THE REASON YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP SO FAR IS YOU HAVE FAILED ALL THE CHALLENGES YOU HAVE BEEN SET BY YOUR CONSCIENCE – YOU HAVE ‘BOTTLED IT’ BECAUSE YOU HAVE ‘NO SENSE OF YOUR BOTTLE’ CONSCIOUSLY, AND SO YOU HAVE CONTINUED TO BOTTLE IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, TO THE POINT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN WHAT NOT BOTTLING IT EVEN FUCKING LOOKS LIKE. SO INSTEAD OF ‘A LIFE’ YOU CHOOSE THE COMFORTS OF A CHILD, ATTENTION, FANTASY, CHEAP THRILLS, OBLIVION INSTEAD OF THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM, OF POWER, OF DOMINION.

SO DO NOT DELUDE YOURSELF EVER AGAIN, FAILING TO GROW UP MEANS YOU ARE A FAILURE AS A HUMAN BEING:

YOU HAVE BOTTLED GROWING UP, IT’S NOT A CHOICE YOU HAVE MADE, YOU ARE JUST SCARED SHITLESS OF IT, AS YOU ARE ‘UNAWARE’.

YES, THE KEY REASON MOST OF YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP IS YOU FAILED AS A KID, YOU RAN AWAY FROM YOURSELF OUT OF WEAKNESS.

THIS MEANS YOU COULD NOT TAKE THE ‘HIT AND CHANGE’, IMPROVE YOURSELF, YOU SIMPLY MADE EXCUSES AND GOT WEAKER.

YOU CHOSE COMFORT, SECURITY, FANTASY OVER CHALLENGE = EGO SAFETY, AND NOW YOU ARE STUCK THERE, IN ‘LIMBO’.

YES, THE TELLTALE SIGN IS THAT YOU FAIL CONSTANTLY, YET YOU STILL THINK YOU ARE CLEVER, SECRETLY IN YOURSELF…

REALLY? BITCH PLEASE – THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, A BIG BIT OF YOU IS ‘MISSING IN ACTION’. SO YOU ARE GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BEING THE COMEDY VILLAIN IN SOME CHEAP PANTOMINE SHOW, THE ONE WHO ALWAYS LOSES, EVEN WHEN ‘YOU WIN’, AS EVERY SINGLE MOMENTARY, TRIVIAL AND QUICKLY FORGOTTEN WIN KILLS YOU JUST A BIT QUICKER…

PLEASE UNDERSTAND – IF YOU DON’T GROW UP YOU WILL LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN A STATE OF ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’, FEAR OF LIFE ITSELF, OF THE NEXT THING THAT MAY HAPPEN, TO LIVE MOMENT TO MOMENT WITH NO SENSE OF YOURSELF, NO SENSE OF YOUR OWN MORTALITY, NO SENSE OF WHAT MATTERS, WITH ONLY THE COMFORTS OF AN ANIMAL TO MAKE IT BEARABLE. THIS IS WHAT A CHILD ‘IS’, BECAUSE THE REST OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, THE REST OF YOU THE ADULT, THAT SHOULD BE THERE TO STOP ALL YOUR MOMENTS FROM FUCKING UP YOUR EMOTIONAL ‘EXPERIENCE OF LIFE’, YOUR MOOD, ANY CONSISTENT SENSE OF YOURSELF, OF ANY ABILITY TO STICK TO YOUR DECISIONS AND DO ANYTHING, IS ‘MISSING’.

SEE THE LIFE OF A CHILD IS A LIFE NOT WORTH LIVING, THAT IS THE LIFE OF A SLAVE, WHO KNOWS NOTHING, DOES NOTHING, FEELS NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY ARE ‘NOTHING’ SOLID, THE WIND OF EXPERIENCE BLOWS STRAIGHT THROUGH YOU, AND YOU ARE A VICTIM OF EVERY MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY LITTLE THING THAT HAPPENS. THOSE HAPPENINGS DEFINE YOUR MOMENTARY LITTLE LIFE AS HAPPY OR SAD, AS IT CHANGES BACK AND FORTH 1000 TIMES A DAY WITH YOUR UNCONTROLLABLE REACTIONS TO THAT REALITY, YOU UNBIDDEN LITTLE FEARS AND DESIRES AS THEY ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY TRIGGERED BY LITTLE MORE THAN THE COLOUR OF A FUCKING WALL YOU JUST WALKED PASSED, THE TIGHTNESS OF YOUR BLOODY SHOES…

DO YOU GET THE POINT OF GROWING UP YET? YOU ARE A LITTLE CHILD, WHO LIVES A LITTLE LIFE, ON YOUR LITTLE ANT HILL, THINKING LITTLE THOUGHTS, FEELING LITTLE EMOTIONS, WHILE YOU ACT OUT YOUR ‘ACCIDENTAL’ LITTLE PROGRAMMING. YEP – YOU HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE HAVE YOU, YOU JUST GET OUT OF BED EVERY DAY AND ‘EXIST’, YOU WHOLE LIFE IS ‘RANDOM CHANCE’ of being dominated by YOUR PREPROGRAMMED UNCONSCIOUS REACTIONS TO YOUR TRIVIAL LITTLE REALITY… 

A CHILD CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING BUT REACT THE WAY THEIR CRUSHING NEED FOR EGO SAFETY TELLS THEM TO, BECAUSE YOUR WHOLE MINDSET, YOUR WHOLE REALITY SHELL IS THAT OF CHILD, WHAT YOUR LIMITED LIFE EXPERIENCE TAUGHT YOU AS A CHILD, BECAUSE ‘YOU HAVE NEVER CHANGED IT! YET EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOU, AROUND YOU, THE FUTURE OF YOU IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT BUT YOUR STATE OF MIND IS IDENTICAL TO THAT STUPID LITTLE 12 Y/O WHO SPENT MOST OF THEIR EARLY YEARS SCARED SHITLESS…

SEE WHAT YOU ‘BELIEVE IS POSSIBLE OR IMPOSSIBLE’ IS BASED ON BEING ‘TOLD WHAT TO DO BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO AS A CHILD’, YOU ARE VUNERABLE, AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP ‘YOUR TRUTH’ (WHICH IS NOT TRUE) FROM THIS LACK OF KNOWING – ‘YOUR TRUTH’ BECOMES THE LITTLE MORE THAN THE MOMENTARY OPINION OF A CHILD, AT SOME RANDOM TIME FOR SOME RANDOM REASON COMPLELEY UNRELATED TO WHAT YOU ARE USING THAT TRUTH FOR NOW, BECAUSE NO ONE TAUGHT YOU WHAT ‘THE TRUTH’ FEELS LIKE.

YOU HAVE SIMPLY GOT USED TO ‘BEING POWERLESS AND STUPID’ SO CALL IT ‘NORMAL’, SO IT IS THE BASELINE OF YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR UTTER DEPENDENCE ON OTHERS IS THE CORE OF YOUR FAKE SELF, AND YOU KNOW THIS UNCONSCIOUSLY, SO YOU ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO FEEL CLEVER, BETTER, TO ESCAPE THE UTTER ‘NOTHINGNESS’ OF ‘NORMAL PEOPLE’ FOR A MOMENT – IT IS A REACTION TO ANXIETY…

TRUST ME, SHOULD YOU EVER GET ANYWHERE AS A GIFTED ARISTOS YOU WILL LEARN TO FUCKING LOATHE NORMAL PEOPLE, AS THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS TO CARRY OUT THE PETTY EVIL IN THEIR PETTY, SELF-OBSESSED SOULS. NORMAL PEOPLE ARE CREEPY, THEY ARE THE OPPOSITE OF A GROWN UP, SO THEY SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIVES MASTERING BEING SECRETLY CREEPY, AND THEY CALL IT ‘BEING CLEVER’, AS IT MAKES THEM ‘FEEL CLEVER’, SO MAKES ALL ELSE ‘BEARABLE’. TRUST ME, TO US ‘YOU THE CHILD’ IS SO ‘NAUSEATINGLY OBVIOUS’ AS TO BE ‘UNBEARABLE’…

BE CLEAR NOW – TO BE A CHILD AS AN ADULT IS TO BE LITERALLY STUCK IN THAT EXACT SAME CHILDISH REALITY SHELL AS A 12 Y/O, THAT IS WHAT EGO SAFETY ‘IS’, HOW IT WORKS, IT ‘BLANKS OUT’ YOUR CHOICES, YOUR POWER, YOUR FREEDOM TO BE WHOEVER YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE, AND OFFERS YOU ‘BANAL, MOMENTARY COMFORTS’ TO DISTRACT YOU INSTEAD. SO YOU FEEL BRIEFLY CLEVER, WHICH IS NOT CLEVERNESS AT ALL, ITS A SENSE OF FAKE RELIEF THAT YOU ARE NOT THE COMPLETE AND UTTER TWAT THAT YOU SO OBVIOUSLY ARE – THINK NOW, MANY OF YOUR ENTIRE LIVES COULD BE DESTROYED WITH LITTLE MORE THAN A CHAT MESSAGE AND A COUPLE OF PICTURES AND YOU SIMPLY COULD NOT STOP IT = HARMLESS LITTLE FAILURE.

BUT AN ADULT HAS THE POWER TO ENFORCE THEIR WILL ON REALITY, ON THEMSELVES, BECAUSE AN ADULT USES THEIR POWER AGAINST CHALLENGE, SPECIFICALLY AGAINST THEIR FALSE INSTINCTS, AND SO GETS BIGGER BECAUSE OF THAT ‘USE OF POWER’, AS IT MAKES THEM MORE POWERFUL – TO DEVELOP POWER-OVER-YOURSELF ‘YOU MUST USE IT’ WITH EFFORT! TRUST ME, YOU ARE NEVER GONG TO GET TO FAR WITH YOUR ‘SLOW HORSES AND FAST WOMEN’ OTHERWISE, AND ALL YOU HAVE TO LOSE ARE ‘THE SECRET, MOMENTARY COMFORTS’ OF BEING A FAKE TWAT – A BITCH…

Yes, the more you TRY AND GROW UP THE EASIER GROWING UP BECOMES, BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU FAIL IN THE MOMENT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING BY CONTINUING TO TRY HARDER, AS YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR POWER TOO DO IT BETTER NEXT TIME AGAINST THE FALSE INSTINCTS THAT ARE SCREAMING AT YOU TO QUIT = YOUR BOTTLE! SEE YOU ONLY ‘HAVE POWER IN THE MOMENT OF ITS USE AGAINST RESISTANCE’, THAT IS WHY YOUR GIFTED POWER HAS LARGELY GONE, ROTTED AWAY – YOU can’t do conflict can you, YOU DON’T SEE THAT IT IS ACTUALLY THE KEY MECHANISM OF LIFE, OF EVOLUTION, INDEED THE REASON WE ARE ALL HERE, and that without it FOLKS ARE JUST ‘JELLY ON A PLATE’, INDEED THEY ARE JUST VICTIMS OF OTHER CHILDREN…

SERIOUSLY – DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE MAKING THE SAME DORK-LEVEL MISTAKES YOU MADE AS A CHILD, THE HIGH POINT OF WHICH HAS LONG SINCE PASSED AS EVERYTHING IN YOUR WORLD HAS ALREADY CHANGED MULTIPLE TIMES, YOU HAVE GOT OLDER AND UGLIER, SO YOUR DOWNSLOPE IS JUST GOING TO GET STEEPER AND STEEPER? 

Now the reason I say ‘Most of you’ is I am INCLUDING MANY OF YOU WHO THINK YOU HAVE CHANGED, you have ‘CHOSEN’ to ‘act’ MATURE, RESPONSIBLE, DECENT, GOOD even, so its bad news I’m afraid – YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF, BECAUSE THAT IS NOT WHAT GROWING UP MEANS. See THOSE AFFECTATIONS  ARE WHAT YOU CAN CHOOSE TO DO ‘WITH’ GROWING UP, and frankly you can choose way ‘BETTER THAN’ THOSE ONES, as those ones are really just about being ‘kind to the animals’, so as a DOMESTICATED animal you have heard of them, and hence COPY THEM TO FAKE BEING AN ADULT IN PUBLIC WHILST YOU QUIETLY FALL APART IN PRIVATE, but the stuff you have NEVER HEARD OF IS WAY MORE FUN…

See you are UNEDUCATED BY YOUR SOCIETY, YOU HAVE NO ‘CLASS STRUCTURE’ – ALL CLASS STRUCTURES, even religious ‘STRUCTURES OF LIFE’ HAVE A FORM OF FORCED ADULTHOOD BUILT INTO THEM, where they go out of their to GROW YOU UP, TO PREPARE YOU FOR LIFE AS A MAN OR WOMAN. You never did ANY OF THAT DID YOU, you think BEING A CHILD, LIVING IN A CHILDISH STATE OF MIND IS ALL THERE IS, IS COOL, AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO IT, blissfully unaware you ONLY have the freedoms you have because THE ADULTS WHERE THERE TO CUT THEM OUT OF THE JUNGLE FOR YOU TO ENJOY – YOU DON’T DESERVE A FUCKING THING, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING AT ALL HAVE YOU, YOU ARE A DISTURBED LITTLE CHILD…

You think growing up IS to deny yourself the childish fun and fantasies, THAT MAKE YOUR SLAVE EXISTENCE BEARABLE, just TO FIT IN, SO ITS FINE TO SIMPLY FAKE IT AS YOU GET OLDER, but in reality GROWING UP means finding out who the fuck you really are BY FINDNG WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT NATURALLY, BETTER AT THAN OTHER PEOPLE AS A ‘PREDISPOSITION’. THEREFORE THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING, SO YOUR LIFE IS NOT UNBEARABLE ANYMORE – TO LIVE YOUR ‘LIFE AS ART’, instead of a tedious little fuck up, so busy repeating their mistakes that they DON’T SEE EVERYONE ELSE LAUGHING…

WE CHOOSE THE ‘ADVENTURE OF LIFE’, where you GO HOME TO YOURSELF, where you CHANGE OFTEN AND DRAMATICALLY TO SUIT YOURSELF, where you think shit up THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU and do it as you wish, where the loyalty and integrity you so desperately lack is easy, because you are CONFIDENT ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO LIE AND HIDE ALL THE TIME – outside of a kind ‘politeness’ GIFTED ADULTS DON’T REALLY GIVE A FUCK = the BADASS of an ARISTOS. YEP, by remaining a CHILD FOREVER, you are missing out on STUFF YOU HAVE NO IDEA EXISTS, WHILST MAKING A TOTAL TWAT OF YOURSELF IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN KIND, who can only watch and pity you, as talking to you is pointless – YOU HAVE THE MIND OF A CHILD, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT ‘WORDS’ MEAN…  

So you must be clear:     

YOU CAN NOT JUST ‘DECIDE’ TO GROW UP AS NOTHING ‘INSIDE YOU’ WILL CHANGE BECAUSE OF THAT DECISION ALONE.

YES – YOU CAN NOT MAKE A DECISION AS A CHILD AND JUST ‘ACT’ DIFFERENTLY, AS YOU ARE JUST A CHILD PRETENDING TO BE AN ADULT. 

TO ACTUALLY GROW UP, SOMETHING ‘NEW’ INSIDE YOU MUST BE ‘CREATED’ ABOVE YOUR CHILDISH STATE, AT A SELF-CONSCIOUS LEVEL YOU CAN FEEL.

AS A MAN, I CALL THAT ‘BOTTLE’, BALLS, COURAGE, WHICH IS A SOLID INTERNAL FEELING YOU CAN THEN ‘USE’ TO ‘CHANGE’ YOUR ‘CHARACTER’

SEE WITH OUT BOTTLE, YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ANY CHARACTER WORTHY OF THE NAME, AS YOU ARE NEVER CONSISTENT = NO CHARACTER.

Yes, I know, YOU may well be swearing at the screen right now as YOU maybe a ‘Householder’, you may have engaged in the only remaining mechanism that enables Children to grow up in the ‘NORMAL’ circumstance of the Western world – YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR PROVIDING THE RESOURCES YOUR FAMILY NEEDS TO SURVIVE AND PROSPER. So YOU HAVE HAD TO ‘MAN UP’, force yourself to CHANGE from being a KID in order to achieve this, so to some SMALL DEGREE YOU HAVE MATURED, BECOME AN ADULT THROUGH THE PAINFUL ‘RESPONSIBILITY’ OF HAVING TO COMPETE AGAINST OTHERS FOR RESOURCES TO STOP YOUR ENVIROMENT DESTROYING WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST, YOUR BIG PICTURE – YOU have GONE AGAINST what your feckless inner child wants for itself, COMFORT, CHEAP THRILLS, DRUGS, FANTASY, PLAYTIME, you have recreated yourself to a small degree…

So YOU have a place to start with your development, YOU CAN USE THAT HARDNESS, THAT DRIVE CREATED BY THE BURDEN OF A GREATER RESPONSIBILITY THAN YOUR OWN HAPPINESS, if you only knew how to GROW THAT HARDNESS, IF YOU KNEW WHAT I MEANT BY THE WORD ‘USE’. But most of the REST OF YOU DON’T DO WELL WITH COMPETITION DO YOU, BECAUSE you are a CHILD, so your mindset is the same as a CHILD WHO WAS GIVEN WHAT THEY NEEDED AND COULD JUST PLAY AT LIFE, and so has never lost that ‘NAIVETY’, never realized THAT YOU MUST EARN, WIN OR TAKE WHAT YOU NEED IN THIS WORLD, BECAUSE THE ENVIROMENT WE LIVE IN IS ‘HOSTILE TO US’. Yes, some of you may know how to suffer and change for a GREATER GOOD, BUT MOST OF YOU ARE STILL LITTLE MORE THAN LITTLE CHILDREN, who can’t ‘COMPETE WITH THEMSELVES’ for the RESOURCES THEY SO DESPERATELY NEED TO DEVELOP THEMSELVES…

TODAY I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE GIFTED VERSION OF THIS, AS A PRECURSOR TO BECOMING ‘PRESENT IN YOUR PRESENCE’, IN PART 4 – I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU NEED NOW, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEED THAT MORE LATER. See, there is a lot more to GROWING UP than you know, and its that MORE THAT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO GROW UP, as your biggest issue is that YOU DON’T WANT TO, do you, AS NO ONE HAS TOLD YOU THIS STUFF, NO ONE HAS EXPLAINED THAT MOST WAYS OF GROWING UP INVOLVE FACING YOUR ‘CHILDISH FEARS’ of some DARK CORNER OF YOUR BEDROOM. 

But, THERE ARE OTHER NAMES FOR BOTTLE, so if you are female YOU MAY PREFER TO USE ‘HEART’, as the strongest elements of your energetic body are DIFFERENT FOR MEN AND WOMEN – MEN CONNECT STRONGEST TO THEIR 1ST CENTRE, THE ‘SEX CENTRE’, WOMEN IN THEIR 2ND CENTRE, THE ‘HEART CENTRE’. Women are naturally more ENERGETICALLY developed THAN MEN, however there is no difference in the method, JUST WHERE YOU FOCUS ON AT THE START. Be warned however, much as women tend to know that LOVE MAKES THEM BRAVE, whilst it makes MEN SHY AS THEIR HEART IS MUCH WEAKER, UNDEVELOPED, they will also have a strong tendency to become passive about it, to wait for it, to think that LOVE IS THE ANSWER, THE DRUG, THE CURE – TO USE LOVE AS ‘A TEST’. THOSE ARE STUPID CULTURAL STEREOTYPES, whilst real HEART IS BRAVERY, IS HARD, IS SOLID, so don’t get lost in LOVE today, THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC, this is YOUR ‘HEART AND SOUL’ IN THE RAW.

Yes, however much you now understand we are going to USE YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY TO GROW YOU UP TODAY, know that the feeling is different between the sexes, AS SOME HIGHLY GIFTED WOMEN MAY ALREADY EXPEREINCE THEIR GIFT AS ‘HEART’ IN THEIR CHEST, THEIR SOLAR PLEXUS, given they still actually have some free sexual energy left, even if it way less than the PEAK of adolescence, when GROWING UP IS MUCH EASIER BECAUSE OF THAT PEAK, YOU STILL NEED ENOUGH TO FEEL IT EASILY, if we going to be able to use it, add to it…

See, I’M OLD SCHOOL, I RESPECT THE ANCIENT WAYS ABOVE ALL ELSE, and I know the GREEKS AND LATER THE ROMANS forced the process of ‘GROWING UP’ IN BOTH ‘ELITE’ MEN AND WOMEN AT THE NEXT LEVEL, THE ‘HEART’ LEVEL. But in the MODERN WESTERN WORLD, the DEGENERATE world of DOMESTICATED ANIMALS, men can only WORK WITH THEIR ‘BOTTLE’ EASILY, SO TO FORCE MALES PASSED THIS ONLY REALLY WORKS IF YOU ARE A SENSITIVE, HIGHLY ‘GIFTED’ MALE. But still, some of you may enjoy knowing why ELITE Romans Warriors have faces on their armor ‘breast’ plates, why the ELITE Centurions gathered in special caves to worship the ‘Sol Invictus’ they developed in their own Chests, PARTICULARLY AS THAT ANCIENT ‘RELIGION’ REMAINS THE FOUNDATION OF THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH IN THE WEST- many Churches are literally built right on top of those secret, exclusive caves, as THE GOD MITHRIDATES, THE WORSHIP OF ‘FIRE’ once ruled the civilized world to the extent THAT ITS SUCCESS IS RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATING IT, who knew, eh?

Yes, YOU MUST FEEL DIFFERENT TO GROW UP, LIKE THE ANCIENTS DID – IT MUST CHANGE YOU, EVEN CREATE A CONSCIOUS YOU AS SEPARATE TO FAKE UNCONSCIOUS YOU, that is WHAT THOSE ROMANS WHERE DOING IN THOSE CAVES, AS THEY NEEDED LOTS OF BOTTLE TO STAND AGAINST ‘THE BARBARIANS’ AT THE GATES. TRY AND GET THIS NOW – GROWING UP is not some notional idea about ‘BEING RESPONSIBLE, MATURE, DECENT’, its NOT JUST SEXUAL MATURITY, its actually a ‘THING IN ITSELF’, it exists in REALITY as a STATE OF MIND, outside of YOUR OPINION ABOUT IT, as part of EVERYONE’s CONSCIOUS ABILITIES.

Even more ‘shockingly’, 90% of what YOU are capable of THINKING, FEELING, DOING IS ONLY POSSIBLE IN THIS NEW STATE OF MIND, a child can DO NOTHING SERIOUS in the is world, A CHILD ‘PLAYS’, A CHILD IS A ‘FAN’, A CHILD IS A ‘SPECTATOR’, A CHILD NEEDS TO ‘FEEL SAFE’ above all else, SO IS GUTLESS, AGGRESSIVE, CREEPY, SECRETIVE. That is why we call you ‘BASIC’ – THE SOPHISTICATION YOU SO DESPERATELY CRAVE IS A TOTAL FANTASY, you would not know subtly if it punched you in the face – YOU ARE COARSE, VULGAR, OBVIOUS, TACKY, LOUND, DISLIKEABLE, DISAGREEABLE, DISINGENUOUS, DISLOYAL, DISFUNCTIONAL, DISLIKED, and frankly A SILLY LITTLE MESS. We wince, we wonder, we brace ourselves for YOUR next little icky YOLO statement, little cleverness, little cunning bit of your meaningless crap, whilst making sure we have a sick bag handy, cause you HAVE NO SELF AWARENESS DO YOU – YOU, THINK FOLKS KEEP YOUR SECRETS, YET THEY DELIGHT IN MAKING SURE YOUR SECRETS ARE HEADLINE NEWS, AS THEY SEEK YOUR DESTRUCTION, because you live in a ‘playground’ WHERE NOTHING REALLY MATTERS, AND NO ONE REALLY CARES, WELL… ABOUT ANYTHING REALLY.

But is it NOT JUST THAT, not just the massive range and depth of emotion you are capable of in this new state, that experiences you have only read about becomes EVERYDAY for you, see EVERYTHING IS BETTER AS AN ADULT, THE FELT EXPERIENCE OF LIFE IS BETTER, LONGER, STRONGER, DEEPER and much more important for most you – YOU BECOME LUCKIER, SIMPLY BY DRAMATICALLY LESSENING YOUR CONTINUAL BAD LUCK. And YES, that includes SEX – AS A CHILD YOU ARE ONLY CAPABLE OF TENSION SEX, ANIMAL SEX, SEX DESIGNED TO MAKE BABIES AND SELL PORN, the type of sex that drains you of your life force itself AS IT IS DESIGNED TO BE USED TO CREATE NEW LIFE, so is actually a ‘SACRIFICE’ of yourself, THE ENERGY YOU NEED ‘TO LIVE, DRIVE AND SURVIVE’ (Sorry, Blues Brothers…), WHO KNEW, EH?

BUT AN ADULT IS CAPABLE OF ENERGETIC SEX, which is a whole other thing, WAY, WAY ABOVE THE TRIVIAL ‘TENSION RELEASE OF FORCED ANIEXTY’ YOU ARE USED TO – SEX BECOMES A ‘SHARED EXPEREINCE’, NOT JUST ONE MORE LITTLE FANTASY where ‘anyone’ will do. See, for GIFTED ENERGY SEX WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, a person you HAVE ‘A CONNECTION’ TO who is AT OR ABOVE YOUR LEVEL, NEVER ACTUALLY STOPS = LOVE. Yep, A CHILD IS NOT ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF LOVE for its own sake, A CHILD THINKS LOVE IS SAFETY, OBSESSION, POSSESSION, and that ain’t LOVE folks, not even close – A CHILD THINKS ALL LOVE IS THE SAME AS PARENTAL LOVE, SO THAT IS WHAT IT CHASES…

So THE CRUCIAL BIT IS YOU MUST FEEL DIFFERENT IN YOURSELF TO GROW UP, DIFFERENT from how you felt as A CHILD, OTHERWISE YOU HAVE NOT DONE IT, and you don’t, do you – BEST WAY TO SAY IT IS THAT YOUR ‘EMOTIONAL PERSPECTIVE MUST CHANGE’ from that of a CHILD to an ADULT – A CHILD HAS VERY FEW BASELINE EMOTIONS, AS ADULT HAS MANY MORE, STRONGER AND MORE SOPHISTICATED ONES. So TO GROW UP, AFTER SEXUAL MATURITY, means YOU HAVE to ‘FORCE’ THAT DIFFERENCE, YOU MUST LEAD IT BY USING ‘FORCED SENSATION’ TO ‘EVOKE NEW EMOTION’…

IN THIS WAY YOU WILL ACTUALLY DISASSOCIATE FROM YOUR CHILDISH STATE OF MIND AT A CONSCIOUS LEVEL.

INDEED, SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED THIS STATE, BUT YOU WERE TO SCARED TO INVESTIGATE IT.

BUT YOU MUST BE STRONG NOW, AS THIS IS WHAT THE ‘PROCESS OF CHANGING YOUR CHARACTER’ FEELS LIKE.

NO NEED TO GET SCARED THOUGH, THE SHOCK OF THE NEW WEARS OFF QUICK ENOUGH WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS… 

YEP – TO START THE JOURNEY TO ‘BETTER THAN’ MUST FEEL VERY DIFFERENT TO OLD YOU. SEE, YOU are fucking useless in your current state, never the same 2 days in a row, lazy, bored and stupid, BECAUSE YOU STILL FEEL LIKE A KID, YOU STILL WANNA PLAY, FANTAZIE, INSTEAD OF ‘DO’, INSTEAD OF ‘ADVENTURE’, INSTEAD OF ‘ACHIEVEMENT’, so you still exist at some level of ‘NARCISSITIC CHILD’, as you have no choice but to be one. A CHILD HAS NO CHARACTER, so does not really exist, is of no use, as it is just a summation of what has happened to them, SO GROWING UP is the first step on all SPIRITUAL SYSTEMS – YOU MUST CHANGE.

However shocking you find this, KNOW THAT MOST SYSTEMS, even some of the big ones you have heard of, WOULD QUIETLY REGARD YOU AS ‘SUB-HUMAN’. See to them YOU ARE NOT A MAN OR A WOMAN, however old you are, you are just a KID, so you are ‘irresponsible’, you have no value, and therefore no rights, as you have not earnt them, so you are just a domesticated herd animal, CANNON FODDER – YOU HAVE NO ‘CLASS’, NO ‘SELF-AWARENESS’, you are the HERD, THE MOB, THE RABBLE, THE ‘PLEBS’, you are ‘LIVESTOCK’, INDEED SEVERAL SYSTEMS WOULD DESCRIBE YOU AS ‘THE DEAD’, OR ‘THE SLEEPING’, OR ‘THE LOST’. 

Yes, GROWING UP is a BIG DEAL, UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE IT, and then its just NORMAL, much as it is the SAME END RESULT FOR EVERYONE, much as there are multiple ways to achieve it, IT IS A MILESTONE ON YOUR DEVELOPMENT AS A HUMAN BEING. A child is just a DOMESTICATED ANIMAL who only behaves themselves OUT OF FEAR, because you have NO SELF AWARNESS as a STATE OF MIND, at all, THERE IS JUST YOU ‘THE CHILD’, who ‘KNOWS NOT WHAT THEY DO’, because they are NOT AWARE OF THEMSELVES AT THE SAME TIME AS THEY ARE AWARE OF REALITY.

Yes, there is a reason that EVERY RELIGION ON THE PLANET PUTS ITS CHILDREN THROUGH ‘A RITE OF PASSAGE’, with some being very formal indeed, but its not just them, EVERY TRIBE, EVERY SOCIETY ALSO DID THIS, ONCE UPON A TIME, with all kinds of methods, rituals used IN THESE ‘COMING OF AGE’ procedures. Frankly the TRIBAL ONES WERE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN MOST, as they always relied on FORCED SHOCKS, which still happen today, AS MUCH ‘BY ACCIDENT’ AS ANYTHING ELSE, but you think ‘sexual maturity’, the change in your human BIOLOGY, your energy system, grows you up by itself, don’t you, BUT IT DOES NOT – you are just a big kid, WHO WANTS TO PLAY AT EVERYTHING, so take NOTHING SERIOUSLY, AS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT ‘SERIOUSLY’ FUCKING MEANS….

Yes, of course, anyone can be aware of themselves for a moment, through pressure, pain, intense emotion, BUT THAT IS USELESS, BECAUE YOU ONLY HAVE 1 DIMENSION OF CONSCIOUSNESS, you only see one thing at a time, so CAN NEVER JUDGE YOURSELF, YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, REACTIONS AS SEPARATE TO YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE MOMENT. So whatever your awareness is ON in that moment of cognition actually ‘becomes you’, triggers you, overpowers you, to a greater or lesser degree as a Child, SO YOU ARE NO LONGER CONSCIOUSLY AWARE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER BY IT as a seqeunce of reactions to it, THAT YOU SIMPLY ACCEPT AS ‘WHAT YOU THINK/FEEL/DO’. See, THAT IS NOT YOU AT ALL, THAT SHIT IS JUST ‘THE NOISE OF REALITY BOUNCING OFF THE CASTLE WALLS OF YOUR EGO’, it has no value in itself TO YOU, BECAUSE IT HAS NO MEANING – YOUR RANDOM THOUGHTS ARE RANDOM GARBAGE…

‘SO WHAT THE ACTUAL ASS FUCK IS GROWING UP THEN, WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS’, you moan – ITS THIS, YOU TRIVIAL LITTLE BITCHES: 

An ADULT has THE CAPABILITY OF 2 DIMENSIONS OF CONSCIOUS, so an adult can judge themselves IN THE MOMENT whilst ITS CONSCIOUSNESS IS SEPARATE TO ITS ‘REACTIONS TO THAT MOMENT’ without fear, however ‘sporadically’, however much they don’t know what to do with it – THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN THAT TRANSISTORY ‘2D PEAK EXPEREINCE’ INTO A STATE OF MIND, YET.

You THE CHILD waste the ENERGY YOU NEED TO MAKE THIS JUMP ON ‘BEING A CHILD’, BUT AN ADULT CAN DIRECT THEIR THOUGHT AGAINST THEIR FAKE SELF – an ADULT CAN STOP THEIR FAKE SELVES, SO AN ADULT CAN SAVE THEMSELVES, AND THEN USE WHAT THEY SAVE TO DEVELOP THEMSELVES. Its another one of those CATCH 22s on the 4th Way – A CHILD HAS NO ENERGY TO GROW UP BECAUSE IT WASTES IT ALL ON BEING A CHILD, so CHILDREN HAVE TO BE FORCED TO GROW UP, TO BE ‘SHOCKED’ INTO IT, unless they are taught how to ‘GROW THEMSELVES UP’, which is what I’m going to do for you today…

Easy so far..?  

See all CHILDISHNESS IS ‘WEAKNESS’, ‘COMES FROM WEAKNESS’, IF NOT THE VERY ‘ACT OF WEAKENING YOURSELF’, THAT IS THE DEATH IN IT. As a KID you could get away with that shit, YOU HAD THE POWER TO DO IT, BUT SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 16-18 Y/OS THAT EQUATION ENDED, and now more goes out than comes in, INDEED WHEN YOUR AGE STARTS WITH A 3 OR MORE ITS A HELL OF A LOT MORE GOING OUT. But an ADULT knows this, as they feel the energy exchange in the moment of life, SO AN ADULT VALUES STRENGTH, ENERGY MORE THAN IT VALUES FUN. Indeed an Adult knows its MUST SEEK OUT CHALLENGE IN ORDER TO BUILD ITS STRENGTH AGAINST, IN ORDER TO BE STRONG against ‘the shit’ IN ORDER TO HAVE FUN, OTHERWISE ITS CONSCIOUS POWER IS SIMPLY ‘ASLEEP’, whilst a GIFTED CHILD RUNS FROM THE CHALLENGES ITS CONSCEINCE CONTINUES, EVER SO DESPERATELY NOW, TO PUT IN ITS LIFE TO HELP IT. 2D CONSCIOUSNESS ‘BUILDS YOU’, 1D CONSCIOUSNESS ‘BLEEDS’ YOU…

Yep, THE IRONY OF CHILD, eh – YOU CHASE YOUR BASIC, YOUR FANTASIES, YOUR OVER THINKING as a cure FOR ANXIETY, yet they make you weaker and weaker, so you become EVEN MORE ANXIOUS, SO YOU DO THEM MORE AND MORE UNTIL THEY NO LONGER WORK, AND YOU EITHER GO TO THE DOCTOR OR BECOME A FREAK SHOW, lost in you own personal little hell of EXTREMES. Yes, A CHILD, YOU becomes INCREASINGLY FORGETFUL, FRIDGE BLIND, SLOW, CLUMSY, LAZY, FECKLESS, TOXIC, and sort of BAD LUCK ON LEGS, cursing every enterprise they touch, YET THEY TELL THEMSELVES THAT NONE OF THAT MATTERS, ALL OF THAT IS FINE, BECAUSE THEY ARE COOL, CLEVER, RIGHT, HOT, so everything is ok for another day, hour, few seconds. In the end you are TOTALLY DEPENDENT, like a dog who learnt that all it has to do is wag its tail for snacks, do tricks, run after the ball, be a good girl, rather than the CAT you are supposed to be, WHO EXPECTS ADORATION AS NORMAL, and usually ignores it BECAUSE IT KNOWS ITS ONLY THE ADORATION FROM THOSE ‘BETTER THAN’ THEM THAT CAN HELP THEM, BUILD THEM, all else takes their energy and flushes it straight down the drain, FOR NO POINT, NO VALUE, so can just fuck off…

BUT THAT NOT YOU IS IT, YOU ARE NO WHERE NEAR THAT BAD, YOUR NOT SOME ‘CAR CRASH PILL HEAD’ OR SOME DESPERATE CREATURE COWERING IN THE CORNER ALL ALONE, hell… you have a whole group of PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU ARE NORMAL, that how you tell you are ok, so IT DOES NOT MATTER YOU CAN’T REALLY REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY, look, see, YOUR world LOOKS NORMAL BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING IT UP, YOU TOOL.

So why am I going to put ‘YOU’ through my version of this RITE OF PASSAGE, from a CHILD to an ADULT – I mean who the fuck do I think I am to presume you bitches even need this, eh, YOUR READING ABOUT DEVELOPMENT, YOU HAVE LOADS OF LIFE EXPERIENCE, DON’T YOU, you think you ARE A GROWN UP, not some trivial little creature trapped in your BASIC PETTY PATTERNS, SELF DESTRUCTIVE REACTIONS, AND CHRONIC OVER THINKING? 

So FIRST, KNOW THAT this is NOT ABOUT US ‘JUDGING YOU’, all high and mighty in our IVORY CASTLE, see we DON’T BLAME YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME, EVEN FOR YOUR CREEPY, OUT OF CONTROL ‘BASIC’, as frankly MINE (and many others on this path) makes yours look like the PETTY COMFORTS of one more little LOST SOUL, one more ‘GOOD GIRL GONE BAD’, with a level of BASIC that frankly goes unnoticed by anyone BUT YOU, whilst inspiring little more than PITY, and THE LAUGTHER OF YOUR ‘FRIENDS’, of course. See, at your LEVEL, all talk of good and bad is meaningless, you are just a collection of reactions with NO SOUL – YOU’RE A PUPPET, only your CONSCIENCE CAN JUDGE THAT MESS.

But… if you want to GROW UP ‘YOU’ MUST LEARN TO ‘JUDGE YOURSELF AT THE MOMENT OF DECISION’, CONSCIOUSLY, AS A BASELINE STATE, so you must THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANNA DO, WHAT YOU WANNA SAY BECAUSE OF HOW YOU FEEL, if you want to KNOW what your life is ABOUT, ‘THE POINT OF YOU’, YOUR ‘MANIFEST DESTINY’. Right now YOU CAN’T, YOU CAN ONLY JUDGE YOURSELF ‘AFTERWARDS’, and that is no fucking use to anyone – THE WORLD IS FULL OF 1 DIMENSIONAL BASIC BITCHES LOOKING FOR THE NEXT GOOD TIME, ALL BORED OFF THEIR TITS, ALL ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TO THEM SO THEY CAN FEEL LIKE THEY EXIST FOR A MIN OR 2, its the never ending awfulness of the petty existence of a slave, all ‘DAZED AND CONFUSED’.

But to JUDGE YOURSELF AT THE TIME TAKES SOME LEVEL OF 2D CONSCIOUSNESS, WHICH IS WHERE THE BOTTLE BIT COMES IN, AS THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO DO IT, and it works surprisingly quickly, if you can be bothered TO TRY…

YOU MUST ‘JUDGE YOURSELF’ AGAINST SOMETHING ‘MORE’, IF YOU WANT MORE THAN THE SHITTY LITTLE EXISTENCE OF A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL.

BUT THAT ‘MORE’ IS NOT SOME DRY ‘STANDARD’, SOME ‘VALUE’ LEADING TO A ‘FUTURE BENEFIT’ – YOUR FAKE EMOTIONS WILL JUST CRUSH IT.

YOU MUST LEARN TO JUDGE YOURSELF AGAINST YOUR FELT ‘BOTTLE’, BECAUSE IT FEELS ‘BETTER THAN’ YOUR ‘CHILDISH EMOTIONS’…

KNOW AS A CHILD YOU ARE A ‘CREATURE OF FEELING’, NOT REASON, SO YOU MUST USE A BETTER FEELING AGAINST YOUR FAKE ONES TO CHANGE.

YES, YOUR BOTTLE MUST BE STRONGER THAN YOUR THAN YOUR PATTERN REACTION, SO YOU MUST PUT ENERGY INTO THAT BOTTLE TO MAKE IT STRONGER, SO IN TIME YOU SIDE WITH YOUR ‘BOTTLE’, NOT YOUR REACTIONS BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FEEL ‘BETTER THAN’.

SEE THAT ‘CONFLICTION’ MANY OF YOU ALREADY FEEL IS A GOOD THING, ITS JUST THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PICKING THE WRONG SIDE FOR YEARS – YOU HAVE BEEN PICKING THE EASY, EMPTY SIDE, NOT THE ‘BETTER THAN’ SIDE, BECAUSE NO ONE HAS SHOWN YOU HOW TO MAKE IT STRONGER.

AND ONCE YOU HAVE ‘THE BOTTLE’ TO DO IT, ‘ACTING’ AS AN ADULT BECOMES VERY EASY INDEED – VIRTU IS ITS OWN, FELT REWARD = POWER.

IF YOU GO ON ACTING LIKE A CHILD, WHERE YOUR ONLY REAL GOAL IS TO MURDER YOUR CONSCIENCE IN ITS SLEEP = POWERLESS.

See IF YOU DON’T START TO JUDGE YOURSELF, THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE DOWNRIGHT UGLY VIA GROWING UP, THEN YOU CAN NEVER CREATE A ‘YOU’ AS SOMETHING SOLID INSIDE OF YOU THAT CAN DIRECT CHANGE – A CHILD has no CONSCIOUS ‘MIDDLE’ OF CONSEQEUNCE, BETWEEN YOUR HIGHER AND LOWER SELVES, so you can NEVER CHANGE, you are never self-conscious enough to SEE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, let alone stand against it. Simply put, A CHILD LIKE YOU has NO CONSEQEUNCE, because a CHILD SIMPLY DOES WHAT THEY ARE TOLD, DOES WHAT IS EASY, DOES WHAT REDUCES THEIR ANXIETY, BECAUSE A CHILD HAS NO ‘BOTTLE’ SO CAN ONLY REPEAT THEMSELVES.

WORSE, A CHILD NEVER ‘DECIDES’ ANYTHING ONCE AND FOR ALL, THEIR LIFE ‘JUST HAPPENS TO THEM’, they make no conscious choice, at all, THEY ARE JUST ONE MORE PUPPET OF FORCES THEY DON’T EVEN SEE, LET ALONE UNDERSTAND. SO YOU MUST SEE THIS CLEARLY, SEE WHAT ‘GROWING UP’ MEANS FOR ‘YOU’, as right now YOU DON’T HAVE A SCOOBIE FUCKING DOO – YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF A CHILD HAS NO EFFECT ON WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM, IT IS SIMPLY A SPECTATOR TO YOUR OWN LITTLE FREAK SHOW, yet YOU THINK YOU MATTER, YOU ARE WORTH IT, BUT IN REALITY YOU ARE JUST A MOMENTARY SNAPSHOT OF ‘YOUR CONSTANT, QUIETY DESPERATE LITTLE REACTIONARY THOUGHTS’, LIKE ALL THE OTHER CHILDREN ARE…

Now, I WILL TAKE A MOMENT HERE TO BREAK FROM THE CLASSIC TRADITION AND TELL YOU THE TRUTH – GROWING UP IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, BUT IF YOU ARE GIFTED ‘YOU HAVE TO DO IT’, OTHERWISE YOUR GIFT WILL BECOME A CURSE, AS YOUR POWER DECLINES. Yes, GROWING UP IS REQUIRED TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, but it is more than that, SEE IF YOU ARE A GROWN UP YOU ARE ‘RESPONSIBLE’ FOR WHAT YOU DO CONSCIOUSLY, AS YOU ARE NO LONGER BEING CONNED IN TO DOING IT, you will see all your petty evils, how you run toward self-destruction and away from help, away from what ‘YOU NEED’, away from your hearts desire, even though YOU THE CHILD THINKS YOU RUN TOWARD ‘HAPPINESS’, ‘SAFETY’, ‘SECURITY’.

See once you have GROWN UP, YOU ARE ‘ON THE CLOCK’, everything you do matters, BECAUSE YOU DO IT CONSCIOUSLY, it’s not a con anymore, and you will SEE YOUR ‘CHILD LIKE HAPPPINESS’ FOR THE SIMPLY REDUCTION OF ANXIETY IT IS – CONSCIOUS CHOICE HAS A PRICE, A COST TO YOU IN THE MOMENT OF DOING IT, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD OR YOUR OWN ILL. Try and remember this, even if you don’t understand it yet, understand what it means for GIFTED folk, indeed that you STILL DON’T understand why I am trying to help ‘YOU’ specifically – YOU ARE KILLING YOURSELF MUCH FASTER THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE, but you will only ever see that, FEEL THAT, IF YOU GROW UP.

So our answer ‘TO WHY’ is EASY – WE, ALL OFF US HERE ON THE 4TH WAY WHO HAVE SOME DECENT ‘LEVEL OF BEING’, HAVE ‘HAD TO’ GROW UP, we have all HAD TO DO IT BEFORE WE DESTROYED OURSELVES – THAT IS WHY WE HAVE ‘THE RANK’ WE HAVE. Without it many of us would already be DEAD, including me – SO DON’T FEEL BAD FOR STILL BEING A CHILD, just know that you are wasting YOUR TIME AND MINE BY TRYING TO DEVELOP YOURSELF AS ONE. FRANKLY, EVEN TALKING TO YOU IS A WASTE OF TIME, you have the conscious level of a ‘wind up toy’ BECAUSE THERE IS ‘NOTHING’ INSIDE YOU TO ‘TALK TO’, NOTHING FOR MY WORDS TO HIT, TO SHOCK, NOTHING ‘TO CRYSTALLIZE’, hell for some of you even your 1D Consciousness is a flakey, passing, drug addled phase… 

GROWING UP IS THE NUMBER 1 REASON THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN DEVELOP THEMSELVES, BUT MOST PEOPLE CAN’T, NO MATTER HOW GIFTED THEY ARE…

SEE YOU MUST GROW UP IN ORDER TO DEVELOP YOURSELF – YOU MUST LEARN ‘HOW TO CHANGE’ BEFORE YOU ‘CAN CHANGE’, AGAIN AND AGAIN.

SADLY THE MODERN 4TH WAY VERSION OF THIS, TO ‘REMEMBER YOURSELF’, SUCKS ASS AND DOES NOT WORK FOR 99% OF FOLK WHO TRY IT.

SO I USE MY WAY, TO DEVELOP YOUR ‘BOTTLE’, WHICH ACTUALLY IS THE BEST WAY TO REMEMBER THE SENSE OF YOURSELF, INSTEAD.

BUT FOR THIS TO WORK I HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU ‘HARD’, AS YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ‘DON’T WANT’ TO DO IT…

Not that I intend to insult the classic 4th Way Canon of course, the issue is in the translation from Russian that is ‘Remembering Yourself’ and PD Ouspenkys style of using it as a ‘test’ for Grown Ups, rather than teaching ‘how to grow up’ – THEY ARE FROM BACK IN THE DAY, BECAUSE BACK THEN MOST FOLKS HAD TO GROW UP AS PART OF THEIR CLASS STRUCTURE, SO THEY DID NOT NEED TO FOCUS ON THIS. Therefore they load WAY TO MUCH INTO THEIR VERSION FOR YOU TO COPE WITH, way to much for you to REMEMBER BECAUSE YOU CAN’T AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL, so you just get lost in it – YOU MISS THE POINT OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS, THE REAL MEANING OF IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOWHERE ‘TO START’, so don’t understand even the basics, THAT DENYING YOURSELF CHILDISH THINGS FREES UP THE ENERGY YOU ‘NEED’ TO GROW UP, TO ‘EMPOWER YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS’.

The issue is that THEY get you to try and do an abstract mental exercise with no goal, that you don’t now how to do SO CONTINUALLY HAVE TO USE YOUR EGO TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO DO, AS YOU ARE TRYING TO DO IT, AND SO FAIL TO DO IT, whilst simply waiting to stumble upon some spiritual experience OUT OF THE BLUE you will probably never have, and therefore never REMEMBER how to find the correct way back to said experience, so seems kinda flawed to me, like. Yet all the current devotees of the RUSSIAN 4th Way, of which there are tens of thousands in this world working away in their secret little groups all wonder why it never caught on? I say give it a few months, you will quit like all the rest – YOU WILL ‘ALWAYS’ FAIL THIS LEVEL OF TEST AS YOU THINK IT’S ‘UNREASONABLE’ AT YOUR LEVEL, you don’t get that ‘impossible’ is a LEVEL THING, SO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU A BETTER CHANCE AT THIS, A CHANCE WHERE YOU UNDERSTAND ITS YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT IT THAT ARE ACTUALLY STOPPING YOU DOING IT…

TODAY I HAVE TO DUMB THIS RITE OF PASSAGE DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING SO YOU ‘WANT TO DO IT’.

I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR THIS, AS MOST OF YOU HAVE NO CHANCE WITHOUT IT – YOU DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT.

SO YOU MUST GET, THAT RIGHT NOW, SITTING THERE, READING THIS, THAT THERE IS SOMETHING ‘HORRIBLY WRONG WITH YOU’ = YOU’RE ‘EMPTY’.

SEE MANY OF THE GIFTED AMONGST YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS, AS MANY OF YOU ALREADY STRUGGLE WITH ‘THE EMPTINESS’ OF BEING A CHILD – THE LONLINESS CREATED BY THERE BY ‘NOTHING THERE’ BUT THE ECHOS OF CHILDHOOD HABITS, PATTERNS OF REACTION, MEMORIES, FANTASIES.

BUT IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE, AS YOU ARE STUCK BEING A CHILD, REPEATING YOURSELF, DAY IN, DAY OUT, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CHOICE…

SEE RIGHT NOW THERE IS NO POINT TELLING YOU THE VIKINGS WHERE RIGHT, THE BRAVE DO ‘LIVE FOREVER IN THE HALLS OF VALHALLA’, CAUSE YOU ARE NOT BRAVE, ARE YOU, YOU HAVE MASTERED THE ‘OPPOSITE’ TO BRAVE – YOU ARE ‘CREEPY’.

SO YOU MUST ACCEPT NOW, BEFORE READING ON, THAT YOUR CHILDLIKE NORMAL IS A STATE OF ‘EXISTENTIAL DREAD’, OF FEAR OF EXISTENCE ITSELF, BUT THERE IS A MUCH BETTER NORMAL WAITING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE THE ‘BOTTLE’ TO CHANGE. Yes, I know you don’t feel this state every second of every day BECAUSE YOU USE YOUR COMFORTS TO REPRESS IT, but trust me AS A CHILD IT DOMINATES YOU, because you have made your current NASTY LITTLE EXISTENCE INTO A STABLE PLACE TO LIVE, its something you can cope with, at least whilst you are relatively young and can cope with the DAY TO DAY ‘LOSS’…

SO YOU MUST SEE WHAT DEFINES YOU AS A THIS ‘DREADFUL’ CHILD  IS YOUR ADDICTION TO ‘ANIMAL COMFORTS’, YOUR ‘BASIC’, ‘OBLIVION’, AS IT IS THE CLASSIC ‘REACTION’ TO LIVING IN YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, TO THE ‘NOTHINGNESS’ IN YOUR SOUL.

BUT YOU CAN NOT FACE YOUR EXISTENCE WITHOUT THESE ANIMAL COMFORTS, CAN YOU, SO YOU MUST REPLACE THEM WITH OTHER COMFORTS BEFORE YOU CAN LEARN TO CHANGE, AS THAT IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT IS, GROWTH THROUGH TRADING UP, IT IS NOT A PROCESS OF DENIAL AS THAT FAILS.

TODAY YOU MUST SEE THIS CLEARLY – THE ONLY THING THAT IS STOPPING YOU CHANGING IS THE GUTLESS CHILD IN YOU, BECAUSE THAT CHILD CONVINCES YOU ‘YOUR BASIC’ IS ‘THE ONLY COMFORT’ FOR BEING NOTHING, WHEN IN REALITY THOSE COMFORTS ‘MAKE YOU NOTHING’.

YET HOWEVER MUCH YOU REPLACE ONE THING WITH ANOTHER TODAY AS ENABLER, YOU MUST SEE THAT BEING AN ADULT IS ABOUT ‘THE STYLE’ OF HOW YOU SPEND YOUR MENTAL TIME, THE ‘MENTAL STATE’ YOU SPEND YOUR TIME ‘IN’, WHICH DEFINES WHAT YOU SPEND YOUR TIME ‘ON’.

THE KEY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CHILD AND AN ADULT IS HOW YOU FEEL MOMENT TO MOMENT, YOUR STATE OF NORMAL, WHICH IS A SIMPLE CHOICE BETWEEN THE ‘QUIET DESPERATION’ OF YOUR ‘INFERIORITY’, AND THE LUXURIOUS ‘POWER’ OF YOUR ‘SUPERIORITY’, YOUR ‘BOTTLE’, COURAGE.

SEE THE GREATEST TRICK TO GROWING UP – TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT – IS THE MOST MISSUNDERSTOOD, AS TO ‘ACT’ LIKE AN ADULT MEANS YOU MUST DEVELOP ‘YOUR BOTTLE’ AS THAT ACT, AS A ‘FELT STATE OF MIND’ BECAUSE THIS WILL GROW YOU THE FUCK UP ALL BY ITSELF…

BUT RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T ANY OF THAT, SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU – YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN UP. 

YES – GET IT – YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT BEING A CHILD AS AN ADULT MEANS THERE IS ‘SOMETHING WRONG’ WITH YOU, ‘YOU’ ARE DEGNERATE, SCATTERED, EMPTY, LOST, but you think that is NORMAL, BECAUSE  YOU HAVE MADE IT NORMAL, SO YOU FEEL FINE IN YOURSELF, and just copy everyone else, SO EVERYTHING, INCLUDING DEVELOPING YOUR GIFT, REMAINS ‘A FANTASY’, AT ‘ARMS LENGTH’, ‘IN THE FUTURE’, ‘A HOBBY’, more ‘NOTHING’, THAT COMES TO NOTHING, BECAUSE IT IS NOTHING IN YOUR CHILDISH STATE OF MIND. Literally NOTHING WORKS FOR A CHILD, its all random chance…

Easy conceptually I know, BECAUSE I’VE MADE IT EASY, but sadly OVER THE YEARS GROWNG UP HAS BECOME ONE OF THE GREATEST TESTS IN ALL MODERN SPIRITUAL SYSTEMS, yet it is simply about BOTTLE, SAND, COURAGE, WHICH SOME PEOPLE ARE SIMPLY ‘SHOCKED’ INTO HAVING AS CHILDREN, if they are lucky. But now its above what even MODERN ZEN expects of you, SO MODERN FOLKS DON’T HAVE A FUCKING PRAYER OF DOING ANYTHING AT THAT LEVEL OF ‘COMMITMENT’ – you need this SIMPLE AS FUCK, don’t you. So here it is, A VERSION THAT EVEN YOU CAN DO EASILY, GIVEN I CAN MAKE YOU WANT TO DO IT, as that is the hard bit – to want to do it enough that you remember to DO IT ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME, as unlike US, YOU CAN SIMPLY CHOOSE ‘NOT TO DO IT’ AND LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD = YOUR EMPTY LIFE AS A LAZY, FECKLESS, INCREASINGLY MENTALLY ILL LITTLE CHILD.

So lets start the Intro shall we, lots to cover off, BUT BEFORE WE START PLEASE BE WARNED – DON’T SKIM THIS, THINKING ‘OF COURSE’, ITS SUPER SIMPLE,  YOU ALREADY KNOW IT, you have kinda grown up already, BECAUSE TRUST ME, YOU DON’T KNOW THIS, AND YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP…

So, this is a ZEN version of GROWING UP, where we give you an understandable process with a distinct short-term goal that adds value to your life, that is explained in both classic and modern language and DEFINED AS WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS BY WHAT IS ACTUALLY DOES – GROWING THE FUCK UP by DEVELOPING YOUR BOTTLE, so is way more effective for most. In this way the PROCESS BECOMES THE GOAL, whilst delivering a benefit you can both ‘feel’ and ‘use’ in everyday life QUICKLY – YOU BECOME MUCH MORE CONFIDENT, AS THAT IS HOW BOTTLE, BRAVERY MANIFESTS IN YOU ‘CONSCIOUSLY’.

See BOTTLE in the sense I use it is not aggressive or self assertive, as both of those are Bravery as a reaction to FEAR and/or DESIRE, and are just more of the animal states OF A CHILD so your BOTTLE must be extracted from them to work for YOU, whilst NATURAL Self-Confidence is A VERY POWERFUL STATE, above these animal ones, hence why everyone finds it so ATTRACTIVE. See, NATURAL SELF CONSCIOUSNESS AS CONFIDENCE IS NOT A REACTION, IT IS THERE ALL THE BLOODY TIME, when you have it – CONFIDENCE IS A TYPE OF ‘EMOTIONAL MOOD MUSIC’, SO IS ‘A STATE OF MIND’, not REACTIVE THOUGHT, as when you are CONFIDENT YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT REACTIVE THOUGHT, YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT AS A ‘BIG PICTURE’.

Yes, CONFIDENCE IS AN ENABLER OF DOING, RATHER THAN REACTING – CONFIDENCE GIVES YOU THE POWER TO ‘CONSCIOUSLY DO’ AGAINST FAKE YOU’S ‘UNCONSCIOUS REACTIONS’ WHICH YOU ALREADY KNOW DON’T FUCKING WORK SO WELL. YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHECK THOSE REACTIONS FOR ‘SENSE’ AND ‘DECIDE WHAT YOU DO’ NEXT AGAINST WHAT ‘MATTERS TO YOU’ IN THE BIG PICTURE RATHER THAN ‘TRIVIAL EMOTIONAL MOMENT’, so is almost always NOT what you ‘want to do’, not what you ‘used to do’, not what you ‘expect to happen’, at the start – SO YOU STOP YOUR REACTION AND CHANGE. 

CONFIDENCE IS THE ‘POWER TO COPE’ WITH WHATEVER HAPPENS, EVEN TO COPE WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN, because your LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE not a TRIAL. See for the Gifted Aristos YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHATEVER HAPPENS, ABOUT WHAT THE TEDIOUS LITTLE ANIMALS THINK = ELITISM, THE GREATEST SHORT CUT IN ALL DEVELOPMENT, SHOULD YOU EVER DEVELOP THE BALLS TO DO IT. YOU ARE A DEMI-GODDESS IN TRAINING, WHATEVER ELSE HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE JUST ‘HAPPENS’, ROLL WITH IT AND MOVE ON, ITS USEFUL OR USELESS TO YOU, TREAT IT ACCORDINGLY.

BUT you don’t need that BADASS to GROW UP – ALL YOU NEED IS TO DIRECT YOUR THOUGHT ONTO YOUR BOTTLE AS A SENSE OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT FEELS BETTER THAN BEING A COWARD, BEING INFERIOR. This is the GENIUS OF IT, ALL ELSE FOLLOWS LATER BECAUSE ALL ELSE GETS WAY EASIER WHEN YOU HAVE GROWN UP AND CAN CHANGE TO FEELING BETTER, to FEELING SUPERIOR INSTEAD OF INFERIOR, INSTEAD OF THE EMPTY NOTHINGNESS OF A CHILD, YOUR CURRENT NORMAL, WHICH ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE TOTAL SHIT, AND IS WHY YOU ARE FOREVER TRYING TO ESCAPE IT WITH CHEAP THRILLS!

BE CLEAR, YOUR NORMAL, THE NORMAL OF A CHILD IS THE LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM THE NORMAL OF A ‘FRIGHTENED RABBIT’.

EVERYTHING YOU ARE, EVERYTHING YOU DO, EVERYTHING YOU WANT COMES FROM THIS SHITTY LITTLE NORMAL.

SO ITS TIME TO CHANGE YOUR NORMAL TO THAT OF AN ADULT, OTHERWISE ALL ATTEMPTS AT CHANGE ARE A FANTASY.

IF YOU DON’T GROW UP YOUR ATTEMPTS AT DEVELOPMENT FIT INTO THE SAME FANTASY OF JUST ‘THINKING ABOUT IT’, AND THEN TELL YOURSELF THAT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT NOW THEN YOU HAVE DONE IT, WHICH IS ONE OF THE WORST, MOST CHILDISH TRAPS – YOU HAVE NOT DONE SHIT, HAVE YOU…

The key is THIS METHOD STOPS YOU THINKING ABOUT THE ABC OF THE PROCESS AS YOU DO THE PROCESS, and you understand YOU ONLY HAVE TO ‘THINK ABOUT THE SENSATION OF BOTTLE’, SO IT FEELS ‘BETTER THAN’, AS THE WHOLE PROCESS, SO THERE IS NO THINKING AS A ‘COMMENTARY’, OF MENTAL JUDGEMENTS. YES, THE FEELING JUST ‘IS’, AND THE EXERCISE IS TO ‘DEEPEN IT’ BY FEELING IT MORE, MAKING IT FEEL BETTER, AND BETTER, SO IT BECOMES MORE AND MORE SOLID, UNSHAKEABLE, AS FOR GIFTED TYPES IT TURNS INTO AN ‘EMOTION’ VIA EVOKING THE SENSATION = RINZAI ZEN. And you don’t even have to MEDITATE, which is great as in your current state of mind YOU CAN NEVER MEDITATE CORRECTLY, you just go to sleep, WHILST ‘KIDDING’ YOURSELF YOU ARE ONE MORE TRENDY LITTLE BORN AGAIN BUDDHIST, whilst actually being a totally fake twat. At your current level all UNCONSCIOUS THINKING is FAKE YOU, IS RANDOM PATTERN MATCHING YOU CAN NOT TRUST…

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner eh… See, THIS PROCESS WILL CAUSE YOU TO ‘REMEMBER YOURSELF’ MUCH MORE ‘IN THE NOW’, AS YOU WILL RETAIN SOME AWARENESS OF YOURSELF AS YOU EXPEREINCE OTHER SENSORY TYPES OF AWARENESS, much as you CAN NOT THINK AT THE SAMETIME at the start because your self-awareness will evaporate THE MOMENT YOU THINK, SO LEARN TO SHUT YOUR MIND THE FUCK UP BY SIMPLY IGNORING IT. But that is easy after a while, as retaining some awareness, some self consciousness will mean you will start to see what you are actually thinking PRIOR TO YOUR SENSIBLE THOUGHTS STARTING, your pattern reaction to it, and therefore will be amazed to see how much of THOUGHT TRIGGERS ARE simply ‘look there’, or random bodily sensation, or random song playing in your head, or any one of millions of possible random THOUGHT TRIGGERS OF NO VALUE TO YOU WHATSOEVER – A CHILDS THOUGHT TRIGGERS ARE INVISIBLE, HIDDEN BEHIND SHIT, SO YOU MUST START TO TRY AND SEE THEM IF YOU WANT TO GROW UP.

This works because you are no longer accepting unconscious THOUGHT AS TRUTH, you DOUBT IT, because you are NOW CONSCIOUSLY DIRECTING YOUR THOUGHTS BY DOING THE PRACTISE – YOU REJECT UNCONSCIOUS THOUGHT AS THE MEANNGLESS LITTLE WASTE OF ENERGY IT IS VIA TESTING IT FOR USEFULNESS TO ‘YOU IN THE NOW’. This is what Zen folks call being BEFORE THOUGHT, and is a very powerful state of UNDERSTANDING, yet comparatively easy to do when you know you need to stop thinking SHIT by killing your PATTERN TRIGGERS AT THE START. You will also be amazed to discover just how much other IMPORTANT DAY TO DAY STUFF you remember when you START TO REMEMBER THE SENSE OF YOURSELF, IN TERMS OF YOUR BOTTLE, when you are IN ‘THE STATE OF BEFORE THOUGHT’. Many GIFTED types already experience this state, but think it is simple DISASSOCIATION, a form of mental illness, BUT IT IS NOT, IT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST DOORWAYS IN ALL ZEN WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS FOR – TO DEVELOP YOUR BOTTLE.

See GROWING UP IN THIS SENSE allows you to do one of the greatest of all ZEN TRICKS – SAY ‘NO’ TO YOURSELF EASILY, BECAUSE YOU REALIZE WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS HAVE COME FROM AS REACTIONS, YOU SEE THE CHILDISHNESS OF IT. It is truly shocking when it happens, THAT THE VAST MARJORITY OF YOUR THOUGHTS AS REACTIONS COME FROM RANDOM CRAP OF NO IMPORTANCE, that is simply a trigger, SO IGNORING THESE TRIGGERS IS MUCH EASIER AND LEADS TO IGNORING YOUR UNCONSCIOUS, UNBIDDEN THOUGHTS, which are obviously of no value – GET USED OT ASKING ‘WHY AM I THINKING THIS SHIT, THIS FANTASY, THIS FEAR, THIS DESIRE, THIS ‘EMPTY NOTHINGNESS ABOUT SOME SHIT THAT JUST HAPPENED THAT I HAVE NO INTEREST IN’, AND JUST GO BACK TO FEELING BOTTLE INSTEAD.

LETS KEEP THE PACE UP NOW AS THERE IS SOME HARDER THINKING STUFF COMING – ALL GOOD, READY FOR THE DETAIL NOW?

SPECIFICALLY DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO NOW IN ORDER TO GROW UP AS A CONCEPT, AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN, ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY, WHENEVER YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT SOME CRAP TO MAINTAIN YOURSELF IN THIS WORLD? 

Great, but HONESTLY I kinda doubt that, I’D SAY MANY OF YOU ARE GOING TO SCREAM LIKE LITTLE FREAKS ABOUT THIS, given that you are most likely a fragile little FUCK UP, so BUCKLE UP BABY, stay with me now – SEE, YOU are READING about CHARACTER CHANGE, maybe even trying to DEVELOP yourself BUT as a FECKLESS CHILD, A HOPELESS MESS WHO CAN’T COMMIT TO SHIT, let alone anything that threatens their precious ‘comforters’ – I know it’s not all of you, but it’s MOST OF YOU, and frankly, I’m slightly over the WHINING. Yes, you whine don’t you, CAUSE WHINNING LEADS TO COMFORTING YOURSELF LIKE A BITCH…

So today I’m going to explain IN DETAIL one of the FUNDAMENTALS OF BEING ALIVE, that most of you seem to have missed, HOWEVER UNDERSTANDABLY, as YOU HAVE BEEN LET DOWN BY A SOCIETY THAT ‘BABIES YOU’, allowing you to actually FAKE growing up, whilst still LIVING IN A ‘CHILDISH STATE OF MIND’. Nothing has changed in YOUR SOUL SINCE YOU WERE 10 Y/OS, YOU ARE STILL ‘AN INNOCENT’ in our world BECAUSE YOU STILL FEEL EMPTY, YOU HAVE NO CONSCIOUS ‘SENSE OF YOURSELF’ AS A REFERENCE = A CHILD. EVERYTHNG HITS TOO HARD AS A CHILD, YOU CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING BUT REPEAT YOURSELF BECAUSE ‘YOU HAVE TO REACT’ IN THE SAME OLD WAY, SO YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE, YOU HAVE NEVER LEARNT HOW TO CHANGE, HOW TO ‘CHANGE WHAT YOU WANT’ AS A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE, so you don’t even have priorities, do you, AS WHAT IS THE POINT OF THEM FOR A CHILD…

Yep, its ‘THAT SIMPLE’ THEORECTICALLY, AND SADLY FOR MANY OF YOU ‘THAT HARD’ IN PRACTISE, because you have left this way too late for it to ‘be easy’, like it was for many of us, as we NEVER HAD A CHOICE, ‘we’ were ‘thrown in the deep end’, we ‘swam or sank’, BUT YOU MISSED THAT BIT DID YOU NOT, so your kinda FUCKED now – YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO ‘TRY’…. LOL, I know, the HORROR OF THAT WORD, you wail – ‘can I not just take a pill, I MEAN SURELY SOMEONE HAS FIGURED THAT OUT BY NOW, I don’t have to win some FIGHT TO THE DEATH OR DEVELOP MY BOTTLE CONSCIOUSLY IN THIS DAY AND AGE DO I’? Sadly, YES YOU DO, CAUSE YOU ‘BOTTLED IT’ AS A CHILD. (See what I did there…) 

See, GROWING UP IS NOT SOME MYSTERIOUS THING, it is well understood, enshrined in most Religions as a ‘RITE’ you need to do to ‘PASS’, but then you don’t have ANY Religion, do you, NOT THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF, anyway – SO YOU HAVE NEVER PASSED ANYTHING. But many GIFTED, WITH A STRONG AESTHETIC SENSE, find some sense of themselves FORCED ON THEM IN CHILDHOOD, with all their unexplained ‘over-reactions’, yet THEY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO WITH IT. So it becomes a PAINFUL THING, A HATEFUL THING SENT TO TORTURE YOU, so you seek solace in regressing back to THE ‘BLISSFUL NOTHINGNESS OF A CHILD’, you actually seek it out, BECAUSE YOU REJECT YOUR SUPERNATURAL SELF WHILST CHERRY PICKING THE LITTLE BITS OF IT OUT THAT THRILL YOU, so YOU ‘THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATH WATER’. And it’s not even your fault…

So, LISTEN UP – I do this for you today as a COURTESY, see there is not much opportunity or need for it as a Teacher – no one wants to develop themselves SERIOUSLY if they have not grown up to a BIG degree ALREADY, their only interest in Spirituality will be little more than MEDICINAL, or at best the Hollywood version of Tantrism (eg Spiritual Levels of Sex), so the last thing they want to do is CHANGE, THEY SIMPLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN IT, AS THEY LOVE BEING A CHILD.

So we will never meet, as like all TEACHERS I could not give the smallest fuck what happens to you – YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT and YOU KNOW IT, BECAUSE YOU ARE ‘EASY’, so you don’t value yourself, and therefore have no value to anyone else EITHER. BE CLEAR, TO US You’re AN EVER CHANGING, FLAKEY MESS, YOU DON’T REALLY EVEN EXIST, AS YOUR CHARACTER IS SHITTY LITTLE COLLECTION OF POINTLESS, DEFENSIVE, AND LONG OUT-OF-DATE ‘REACTIONS’ THAT ‘YOU ARE NOT CONSCIOUS OF’ AS A CHILD. See your problem is not really your FAKE CHARACTER, I could break that ‘MATCH WOOD’ in a few mins as I have done many times, to many people over the years, YOUR PROBLEM AS A CHILD IS THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE BUT THAT FAKE CHARACTER, you ONLY have those approximate, badly remembered, badly interpreted PATTERN reactions, so you have to go back to them, which is why you always fail to change…

SPECIFICALLY, YOU HAVE VIRTUALLY NO ABILITY TO STAND AGAINST YOUR ‘INSTINCTS’ UNLESS YOU ARE SCARED INTO DOING IT EXTERNALLY, which interestingly is one of the ‘book definitions’ of EVIL, as you ‘know not what you DO’, even when you think you DO GOOD – YOU HAVE NO ‘INTERNAL LAW AS TRUTH’, SO YOU MUST RELY ON ‘EXTERNAL LAWS’, DRIVEN BY YOUR PETTY FEARS, TO KEEP YOU FROM TOTAL SELF-DESTRUCTION. All obvious enough eh, but wait – YOU DON’T THINK THAT DO YOU, YOU THINK YOU HAVE (SOME) ‘CHARACTER’, AND ITS BASICALLY GOOD, but you are WRONG, BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD, SO IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO HAVE CHARACTER SEPARATE TO YOUR INSTINCTS, AS A CHILD IS THEIR INSTINCTS, there is nothing else – YOU ARE FAKE, WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF IS A DELUSION, BASED ON EHANCED MEMORIES OF GOOD, AND THE REMOVAL OF ALL THE BAD, TRAGIC, TRASHY ONES. YOU RE-INVENT YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF CONSTANTLY, YET STRANGELY WHAT YOU DO NEVER CHANGES AT ALL…

Do you SEE THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A CHILD NOW – BEING A CHILD ALLOWS FAKE YOU TO DOMINATE YOU, SO YOU BECOME A PUPPET OF THE MEANINGLESS GARBAGE THAT IS ‘YOUR MOMENTARY TRUTH’ PRESENTED TO TO YOU EVERY SECOND AS ‘FALSE INSTINCT’, which has no TRUTH, NO GNOSIS IN IT WHATSOEVER. Much as GROWING UP WON’T REMOVE THAT FAKE CHARACTER, AT LEAST YOU WILL HAVE THE ABILITY TO SEE IT, so all of this development stuff will start to actually MAKE SENSE, AS YOU WILL HAVE THE ABILITY TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF YOURSELF AGAINST THAT FAKE SHIT.

See, once you have a semi-permanent SENSE OF YOURSELF, you can decide to be whoever you want, INSTEAD ACCEPTING FAKE YOU, THE SELF OF ‘NO-SELF’, as all these other OPTIONS WILL BECOME VISIBLE TO YOU IN THE MOMENT, so you won’t have to follow your FAKE FALSE INSTINCTS as your ‘only option’. The CONFIDENCE you get from BOTTLE AS A SENSATION WILL THEN ALLOW YOU TO TRY THEM, to actually TRY CHANGING YOUR REACTIONS, before you REACT WITH CHILDISH FALSE INSTINCT, and after a while of playing with this YOU WILL WANT TO CHANGE YOUR REACTIONS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE RESULTS…

See it this way, your CHILDISH, totally FAKE character is a carton of milk you don’t remember buying, left at back of the fridge way too long, so YOU HAVE ‘GONE OFF’, and are now full of chunky yellow bits that smell like vomit, AND PROVIDE NO USEFUL FUNCTION WHATSOEVER – they don’t even make you happy, BUT FOR SOME DUMB ASS REASON YOU THINK THAT IS ‘YOU’ FOREVER, not just who you were as a CHILD. Bizarre, eh – YET YOU HAVE NO IDEA, THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE, HOW YOU COME ACROSS, WHY YOU DO WHAT YOU DO IN THE MOMENT, even looking back at what you have just done a moment ago is hard for you, YET YOU DON’T EVEN SEE THAT, SEE THAT SOMETHING ELSE IS STOPPING YOU DOING THAT, WHICH YOU MUST THEN PUSH AGAINST TO DO IT, AT ALL!

It all comes back to your CHILDISH STATE OF MIND, so I have to cure you of that, if you are ever going to be able to deal with THE FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM CYCLE of your Animal Level of Consciousness…

A CHILD HAS NO SENSE OF THEMSELVES IN THE WORLD, THE SENSE OF WHO THEY ARE, OR EVEN WHO THEY WANT TO BE.

THE CHARACTER YOU THINK YOU HAVE IS AUTOMATIC, OCCURING AS A REACTION, WITHOUT THOSE REACTIONS YOUR SENSE OF SELF ‘DISAPPEARS’, WHICH IS WHY OVERTHINKING IS THE NO1 DISEASE OF THE ‘VERY CHILDISH’, HOWEVER GIFTED YOU ARE – YOU NEED IT TO EXIST.

SEE A CHILD IS AN EMPTY VESSEL, A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER, A CHILD HAS ‘NO SELF’, SO HAS NOTHING ‘TO JUDGE INSTINCTIVE ACTIONS AGAINST’, SO WITHOUT THAT SENSE OF SELF A CHILD HAS LITTLE CHOICE BUT TO THINK ALL THE TIME, OR THEY REGRESS TO AN FERAL, ANIMAL STATE – A PARASITE.

TO BE AN ADULT YOU MUST HAVE A SENSE OF YOURSELF SEPARATE TO YOUR INSTINCTS, AS THEN YOU CAN SEE YOUR INSTINCTS AS THEY OCCUR, AND LEARN TO LAUGH ‘AT THEM’, INSTEAD OF ‘BEING NOTHING BUT THEM’.

THEN YOU WILL START TO UNDERSTAND WHAT EVIL ‘IS’, WHAT SELF-SABOTAGE ‘IS’, WHAT A NASTY LITTLE ANIMAL TWAT ‘IS’…

Yep, logically it could not be more obvious could it, BUT THE REAL ISSUE, THE ISSUE YOU HAVE, THE ISSUE THAT TRAPS YOU, IS THIS…

YOU think BEING A CHILD IS GOOD, IS A HUMAN RIGHT, RATHER THAN A BRIEF TRANSITIONAL PHASE BEFORE FACING SOME ANCIENT ‘RITE OF PASSAGE’ BECAUSE YOU NEED TO GROW UP TO ‘SURVIVE’, like your ancestors did back in the FOREST – YOU DON’T NEED TO GROW UP TO SURVIVE, DO YOU, SOCIETY CARRYS YOU. SO YOU CAN NEVER ACCEPT THAT THERE IS SOMETHING ‘WRONG WITH YOU’, and so COMMIT TO CHANGE.

See THE MOTIVATION OF BEING ‘BETTER THAN’ IS NOT ENOUGH TO MOTIVATE ‘A CHILD’ TO CHANGE, FRANKLY EVEN ‘FREE MONEY’ WOULD NOT BE ENOUGH FOR MOST OF YOU, you are that fucking useless. This is why nobody bothers with you, why I don’t bother with you, why your life is a spin drier of THE SAME OLD SHIT, WHY YOU ARE STUCK IN THE CESS PIT OF ‘THE GRATEFUL DEAD’, (Sorry, it’s too soon for that speech…).

See BEING A CHILD IS ‘SAFE’ FOR YOU, so YOU ARE A COWARD, so YOU CAN NEVER FACE YOUR OWN ‘SOUL’, WHENEVER YOU TRY TO ‘it’ JUST LASHES OUT AT OTHERS AS THAT IS WHAT YOUR CHILD DOES TO MAKE YOU FEEL ‘SAFE AS A REACTION’. Ever noticed that, EVER NOTICED HOW BIGGER PUSSY YOU ARE, that you have to try and HIDE IT BEHIND AGGRESSION TOWARD OTHERS to defend yourself even when you know you are wrong, that you have fuck all ability to ever do, BECAUSE YOU ARE A PUSSY? SPOILER ALERT = THERE IS ‘SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU’, BECAUSE THERE IS ‘NO YOU’, STUPID – YOU ARE A CHILD.

Kinda funny really, don’t you think, TO BE SO OBVIOUSLY TRANSPARENT THAT WE CAN READ YOU FROM 10 FEET AWAY, BECAUSE THERE IS ‘SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU’, but YOU CAN’T SEE THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD. You think its COOL TO BE THE SAME, THINK THE SAME, FEEL THE SAME AS YOU DID AT 10 Y/OS, THAT YOUR INSIGNIFICANT ANTI-HERO IS ‘CLEVER’, like a little bug who thinks his little pile of shit is the whole world – THAT WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS TO ANYBODY ELSE AT ALL, that your opinion is any more than the self-serving ramblings of a 6 y/o screaming for their mummy, YET YOU EXPECT ME TO CARE WHAT YOU THINK TODAY, KNOWING IT WILL CHANGE X10 TIMES BEFORE TOMORROW AND STILL BE TOTAL GARBAGE? And you don’t really feel any better DO YA, you just feel a little safer from what would otherwise be YOUR TOTAL HUMILIATION, which is STILL waiting to get ya, quietly in the corner, SO you have not even really done anything more than put it off for another fucking day, IF EVEN THAT – AND THIS IS WHAT YOU SPEND YOUR ENERGY ON, REALLY BITCH?

YES, for a CHILD EVERYTHING IS ‘NOT THEIR FAULT’, indeed YOU made those mistakes AGAIN ‘on purpose’, because YOU ‘wanted to’, because its MY FAULT YOU DID THIS, because its COOL, because YOU did ‘not care’, because they are the way they are, BECAUSE YOU ARE CLEVER AND PLAY BOTH ENDS AGAINST THE MIDDLE SO YOU ALWAYS HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR BASIC CRAP, ie BECAUSE YOU THINK LIKE A LITTLE TWAT. You WHINE TO YOURSELF, let yourself off the hook, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THE EGO SAFETY OF A CHILD WORKS, so you are TOTALLY FAKE – THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO WITH YOU, as there is ‘NO YOU’ TO TALK TO, is there, YOU ARE COLLECTION of ever-changing historic fantasies on the screen of your mind. AND YOU FEEL FINE, JUST AS LONG AS YOU CAN ‘GET AWAY WITH IT’, so you have to blank out the fact THAT YOU NEVER GET AWAY WITH IT, you are so OBVIOUSLY A FREAK it’s PAINFUL TO WATCH…

Yes, TO GROW UP YOU MUST ACCEPT THAT IT IS TOTALLY UN NATURAL TO BE A CHILD WHEN YOU HAVE GROWN UP PHYSICALLY, I’m not using a metaphor, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, INDEED YOU ARE ‘DISTURBED’ – IN THE WORLD OF YOUR ANCESTORS YOU WOULD MOST LIKELY BE DEAD ALREADY, OR LITTLE MORE THAN A ‘HOUSE SLAVE’, A PROSTITUTE. The transition from a CHILD to an ADULT is THE 1ST STEP to DEVELOPING YOURSELF, where the mental stance you MUST adopt EVOLVES INTO BEING ‘MORE THAN YOU ARE’, BEING ‘BETTER THAN’, whilst GROWING UP IS ABOUT BEING ‘ANYTHING SOLID, CONSISTENT AT ALL’, INSTEAD OF A DELUSIONAL PUSSY WHO JUST WANTS TO RUN AWAY FROM REALITY ALL THE TIME – why you have to GROW UP TO DEVELOP …

But, a particularly modern phenomenon has been noted amongst you, AND I MEAN EVEN THE ONES WHO ARE ACTUALLY WORTH THE TROUBLE, the ones who are not faking it everyday, as that is the modern way, the ones in my Key Demographic of GIFTED HEDONISTS – even when you get enough life experience and DO START wanting to CHANGE, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT IT IS, OR HOW TO DO IT because you have never been taught CLASS SYSTEMS, so you don’t get the US and THEM thing, the ‘Better Than’ YOU and the ‘Worse Than’ YOU THING. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE TRANSFORMATIONAL POWER OF IT AS A TRANSITIONAL STATE OF MIND, THAT IS WHAT ELITISM IS YOU SILLY BITCH, TO BE BETTER THAN ‘YOURSELF’, chasing the SAME TYPE OF FEELING YOU HAVE NOW WHEN YOU FEEL BETTER THAN ‘OTHER PEOPLE’ FOR A MOMENT, WHEN YOU FEEL a bit SPECIAL, SIGNIFICANT, because your CONSTANT STATE OF ANXIETY, YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX HAS LESSENED, for a moment, BEFORE BOUNCING RIGHT BACK EVEN HIGHER.

Try and understand CONCEPTUALLY – YOU CAN’T FEEL THIS ‘BETTER THAN’ RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD, BLINDED TO YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX,SO YOU LIVE IN A STATE OF LOW-LEVEL FEAR ALL THE FUCKING TIME, FEAR OF PROBLEMS, FEAR OF LOSS, FEAR OF BEING FOUND OUT, FEAR OF ANYTHING THAT PASSESS BY. TO GROW UP YOU MUST DRAMATICALLY LESSEN THIS BY SEEING IT IN CONTRAST TO FEELING SUPERIOR AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ALL THE TIME IN A ‘REAL WAY’, SO THE FAKE, DELUSIONAL WAYS YOU USE AS A CHILD, THE WAY OF SECRET CLEVERNESS, OF EGO SAFETY, OF CHASING THE BASIC BEHAVIOURS THAT SIMPLY ‘NUMB’ YOUR ANXIETIES FOR A MOMENT ARE DRAMATICALLY REDUCED BECAUSE YOU RECOGNIZE THEM FOR THAT THEY ARE AGAINST THE REAL VERSION – EGO SAFETY IS THE AWFUL FANTASY OF A CHILD…

Need it even more simply than that?

A CHILD CAN NEVER FEEL ‘BETTER THAN’ BECAUSE A CHILD ‘IS’ THEIR INFERIORITY COMPLEX, ITS WHOLE LIFE IS THE SECRET WORLD OF EGO SAFETY AS A SET OF AUTOMATIC REACTIONS = YOUR FAKE, USELESS CHARACTER.

SO A CHILD CAN NEVER DEVELOP THEMSELVES, THEY SIMPLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I’M TALKING ABOUT, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T FEEL IT – YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PUT AGAINST YOUR FEAR, BECAUSE THERE ‘IS’ NOTHING RELIABLE, SOLID INSIDE YOU, THAT IS WHY WE SAY IT THIS WAY.

YES, THE WIND JUST BLOWS STRAIGHT THROUGH YOU, BECOMES YOU FOR A MOMENT, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING SOLID INSIDE YOU, NO SOLID ‘SENSE OF YOURSELF’ IN THIS WORLD TO RESIST IT, NO REAL CHARACTER, SO WHY DO YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS ON THE NEWS?!

SEE WHEN THERE IS NOTHING TO RESIST THE ‘WIND OF EVERYDAY EXPERIENCE’ YOUR HISTORICAL REACTIONS TO THAT WIND JUST PLAY OUT IN A LOOP – YOU CAN NOT STAND AGAINST THIS FAKE CHARACTER UNLESS YOU CAN RESIST IT IN THE MOMENT, YOU ARE A CHILD.

THEREFORE YOU MUST GROW UP TO DEVELOP YOURSELF BECAUSE THAT SOLID FEELING MAKES YOU ABLE TO FEEL SUPERIOR TO THAT CHILD AND YOU CAN STAND AGAINST IT, TO FEEL ‘SIGNIFICANT’, BRAVE AS YOUR NORMAL STATE OF MIND, AS A SOLID, CERTAIN THING.

THIS SOLID FEELING LEADS TO THE REST OF IT, TO THE ABILITY TO DEVELOP HIGHER STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS, BECAUSE YOU CAN ‘CHANGE’.

The issue is that right now you cannot relate to this, as you don’t feel it, SO YOU THINK FEELING ‘EMPTY NOTHINGNESS’ ALL THE TIME IS NORMAL – TO FEEL LIKE A CHILD WITH NO SENSE OF YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTINUALLY PASSING THOUGHTS IS NORMAL TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING. Spoiler alert – IT’S NOT BLOODY NORMAL, IT’S FUCKING STUPID TO CONTINUE TO LIVE WITH THE SAME FAKE, FLAKEY ‘NO CHARACTER’ OF A CHILD, WHEN YOU ARE AN ADULT…

However, many GIFTED do have this SENSE OF THEMSELVES NATURALLY AS INTROVERTS, or through SOME CHILDHOOD SHOCK OR A STRONG ‘AESTHETIC SENSE’ (UNCONTROLLABLE EMOTIONS OR SENSATIONS AS UNEXPLAINABLE REACTIONS TO SOME TYPES OF EXPERIENCE), but they miss label it mentally as NEGATIVE SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS, AS SHYNESS, AS TO FEEL EMBARRASSED FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN EXTERNAL ATTENTION, which is a big cause of TOXIC OVERTHINKING – you have this already BUT YOU HAVE FUCKED IT UP. So we need to fix this, we need to take what you THINK YOU have or don’t have, and DO IT CORRECTLY FOR IT TO BE A ‘POSITIVE’, TO USE IT CORRECTLY LIKE AN ARISTOS DOES, LIKE ‘WE’ DO, in a way you CAN relate too …    

SO IN THE FINEST ZAZEN TRADITION, THE ‘PROCESS’ OF GROWING UP MUST BECOME THE ‘GOAL’ IN ITSELF – THE SENSE OF BOTTLE YOU BUILD AGAINST YOUR INFERORITY MUST FEEL SUPERIOR, SO IT ‘FEELS BETTER’ THAN BEING A CHILD, BECOMES PREFERABLE AT EVEN YOUR CURRENT, MEANINGLESS ANIMAL LEVEL, RELATIVELY SPEAKING.

GET THIS VERY SIMPLY, AS YOU NEED TO REMEMBER IT:

THE SUPERIOR FEELING OF BOTTLE AS A PHYSICAL SENSATION ACTUALLY ‘GROWS YOU UP’ BY REPLACING YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX OVER TIME, WHEN IT BECOME ‘A MOOD STATE’.

BUT YOU MUST MAKE IT STRONG ENOUGH TO ‘STICK’ AS A MOOD, SO THAT YOUR EGO SAFETY CAN NOT BREAK IT DOWN BY USING YOUR OLD, BANAL COMFORTERS TO ‘WEAKEN IT’. 

IN THIS SIMPLE WAY ALL YOUR CHILDISHNESS, AND WITH IT A LARGE PART OF YOUR FAKE CHARACTER, DIES. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, CAN YOU DEVELOP YOURSELF, AS YOU WILL HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE…

BUT PLEASE BE WARNED: 

IF YOU REMAIN SO EMBARRASSED BY WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AS A CHILD, THAT YOU CAN NEVER TURN AND ‘FACE IT’, THEN NOTHING I WILL SAY OR SHOW YOU TODAY WILL MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE. YOU WILL FEEL FORCED TO DOUBLE DOWN ON YOUR CHILDISHNESS AND SO ACTUALLY GET WORSE, BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO DEVELOP THE BOTTLE YOU NEED TO FACE YOUR PAIN – YOU MUST CLING TO THE SPECIFIC ‘LATE STAGE’ DELUSION OF ‘YOUR SECRET POWER’, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE ANY POWER, AND YOU DON’T HAVE ANY SECRETS, BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ANYONE LEFT YOU CAN TRUST, BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT TRUST ‘YOURSELF’ – YOU, YOUR UNCONSCIOUS CHARACTER THAT CONTROLS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, HATES YOU.

SO BEFORE YOU READ THE REST OF THIS, KNOW THAT I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT TO BE ABLE TO STOP, AS YOU WILL HAVE CREATED AN ENVIRONMENT THAT MAKES IT VERY DIFFICULT TO STOP ‘FEEDING’ YOUR FANTASY WORLD AND GET OFF THAT BUS, EVEN IF YOU ARE ‘THE BUS’ – TRUST ME, I HAVE SEEN IT MANY TIMES AND IT ENDS IN ‘SELF HARM’.

SPECIFICALLY, IF YOU SUFFER FROM HIGH LEVELS OF SELF-DESTRUCTIVE EMBARRASSMENT YOU WILL ALREADY BE HUGELY DEPENDENT ON EXTREME LEVELS OF COMPLEX FANTASY, OFTEN WITH THE HELP OF DRUGS, OTHER FANTASISTS, EXTREME ACTIVITIES TO NUMB YOU, TO COPE IN YOUR NORMAL LIFE, AND THAT ALWAYS FAILS DRAMATICALLY IN THE END, LIKE A CUT GLASS VASE DROPPED ON A HARD FLOOR, SO ITS BETTER ‘TO FACE IT’ BEFORE THAT HAPPENS – YOUR NORMAL IS ALREADY VERY FRAGILE AND VERY FUCKED UP, SO WILL MOST LIKELY BE VERY SECRET TO YOU, WHILST BEING VERY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE ELSE…. 

THERE IS NO FUTURE TO A LIFE OF HATING YOURSELF YET FEELING COMPELLED TO GO ON AND ON, IT NEVER GOES AWAY BY ITSELF, IT JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE AND WORSE AS YOU AGE UNTIL YOU CHANGE, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, AS YOU WILL FIND ‘THE WORLD’ EVENTUALLY INTERVENES IN YOUR DELUSIONS AND WAKES YOU UP, AND THEN WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU THINK REALLY WON’T MATTER, AS NO ONE WILL CARE – YOU WILL GO INSANE. SEE REALITY ALWAYS BITES CHILDREN IN THE END, AS YOUR LUCK, YOUR GIFT ALWAYS ‘RUNS OUT’, so you will BE unable to maintain your delusions…

PLEASE do try and remember what I have said multiple times – EVERYTHING IS A TEST IF YOU ARE GIFTED, SPIRITED. If anything your obvious, twatty, CREEPY, transparent, predictable CHILD has already done MATTERED A DAMN TO ME OR ANYONE ELSE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE GONE. BUT YOU CAN NOT KEEP FAILING THESE TESTS YOUR CONSCIENCE IS SETTING YOU, as it’s GOOD NEWS THAT IT IS STILL TRYING, but it is TERMINAL WHEN IT STOPS – LEARN OR BURN. And you MUST GROW UP if you expect me or anyone else SERIOUS to even notice you are alive, OTHERWISE YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE ATTENTION YOU SO DESPERATELY CRAVE, BECAUSE THERE IS NO VALUE TO US IN YOU, ‘YOU’ ARE ‘NOTHING’ SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP – GET IT?

SEE, right now YOU SIMPLY DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYTHING YOU NEED SITS ON THE OTHERSIDE OF ‘A CHALLENGE’ THAT YOU MUST ‘TRY’, which requires you to CHANGE FROM BEING A TOTAL PUSSY WHO JUST WANTS EVERYTHING TO BE EASY… See, YOU JUST THINK EVERYTHING IS ‘LIKE’ BEING A CHILD BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT MAKES US ALL EQUAL AS A GOOD THING, instead of A PATHETICALLY ‘AVERAGED DOWN’ MESS, BECAUSE OUR SOCIETY HAS REGRESSED, AND GIVEN UP THE VAST STORE HOUSE OF KNOWLEDGE CONTAINED IN ANCIENT CLASS SYSTEMS BECAUSE IT HATES THEM AS ELITIST, UPPER CLASS, which is NOT COOL to little old you, is it, EVEN THOUGH ANY FOOL CAN SEE YOU CAN STILL BE ELITIST WHILST BEING AS KIND AS YOU WISH TO OTHERS ‘LESS THAN’ YOU.

NO, the OTHERS WOULD SEE YOU AS NASTY, SO YOU CAN’T, CAN YOU, BUT WE CAN, BECAUSE WE ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU, we have EARNT THAT RANK, yet YOU FOUND IT HARD EVEN TO READ THAT, didn’t you, because you are a CHILD WHO HAS NO IDEA THAT YOU NEED TO ‘EVOLVE’ TO CHANGE UNLESS FORCED TO, and all evolution is ELITIST BY DEFINITION. But You think BEING A CHILD IS NOT ONLY ‘COOL’, it is acceptable, ITS FUN, IT’S EVEN ‘NORMAL’ IN YOUR FAKE LITTLE WOKE WORLD, as it so obviously cycles through this political fad after that one, in our repetitive, tedious and futile world of meaningless popularism – everyone you know ‘acts’ like an ENTITLED fucking child, SO YOU HAVE NO ABILITY TO STAND AGAINST YOUR ‘INSTINCTS’, reliably, without needing someone else to SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, someone like me.

SEE I’M REALLY NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR FOR ‘LIKES’, all teachers hate being liked by Childish Animals, it DEGRADES THEM, OBVIOUSLY, so I HAVE TO HIT YOU HARD WITH THIS, AS YOU REALLY DON’T ‘GET IT’ – you don’t get ‘BOTTLE’, do you. You exist in the formulaic little world where TRUTH IS THIS WEEKS ADVICE FROM YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA COACH, who literally tells you to write some banal garbage that starts, ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this…’ and ends with some version of ‘… and its OK TO BE A CREEPY, FAKE FUCK UP, AS AT LEAST YOU HAD MADE ME SOME MONEY BY READING THIS SHIT’. Yes, YOU ARE SO FUCKING FAKE YOU WOULD NOT KNOW THE TRUTH IF IT HIT YOU IN THE CROTCH WITH A LUMP HAMMER,  you think AI is a GOOD THING, THAT THE REHASHED AVERAGE ‘OPINION OF THE INTERNET’, SO UTTERLY INFESTED WITH BOTS, PORN AND ASTRO-TURFING, IS IN SOME WAY ‘THE TRUTH’, GOOD, some form of EVOLUTION, INSTEAD OF AN EVEN FASTER FORM OF DEGENERATION BACKWARDS THAN EVER…

So today I have to SHOW YOU THAT WE ARE ‘NOT WOKE’, WE ARE ‘AWAKE’, and be the BAD UNCLE YOU WISH YOU HAD AS A KID, the one who tells you the real ‘facts of life’, the one who tells you how to LIE, CHEAT, STEAL, FIGHT, to deal with the playground bully instead of complaining to the school which just makes the THEM WORSE, and YOU WEAKER. To do this I have to TELL YOU WHAT GROWING UP IS, I HAVE TO GET YOU TO WANT TO GROW UP, AND THEN SHOW YOU THE MECHANISM OF ACTUALLY BEING ABLE TO DO IT, THE ‘A TO B TO C’ OF IT, which is all about BOTTLE, as you don’t have a bloody PRAYER OF GROWING UP WITHOUT BOTTLE, not a fucking chance in HELL – YOU WERE NEVER TAUGHT THIS AT SCHOOL, indeed your schools have literally REMOVED THE NEED TO DO IT, ACTUALLY MADE IT BOTH UN-NESSECARY AND BAD.

The bastards, eh, SO it’s A GOOD JOB IT’S REALLY EASY WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO THEN, the hard bit is WANTING IT IN LATER LIFE, because right now YOU HAVE ALMOST NO ABILITY TO GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT, LET ALONE ‘ASK FOR HELP’, shit – most of you don’t even know what you want outside of SAFETY, WHICH IS ALL ABOUT ‘EGO SAFETY’, which defines you as a CHILD WHO IS DOMINATED BY YOUR FAKE CHARACTER. Ego Safety is a TRAP YOU MORON, A CAGE YOU LIVE IN THAT REMOVES ALL THE OTHER OPTIONS FROM YOUR MIND, so YOUR LIFE its just your routines and your BASIC.

AN ADULT WANTS ‘RISK’ ALL THE TIME, not just neatly wrapped up in your little BASIC, as they know that is the KEY TO LIFE, to the point that all else is the same as sleep, BUT A CHILD JUST WANTS BANAL COMFORT BECAUSE NO ONE HAS EVER EXPLAINED THE MOST BASIC OF ALL THESE EMOTIONAL MECHANISMS YOU WERE BORN WITH – it’s THE CHALLENGE THAT PAYS FOR THE CHANGE, IT IS A SUPERNATURAL MECHANSIM OF ENERGY EXCHANGE. So you MUST CONTINUAL ‘MOVE FORWARD’, PUT YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY, FACE WHAT MAKES YOU FEARFUL, EVEN JUST UNCOMFORTUABLE, IN ORDER TO CREATE THE SPACE FOR THAT CHALLENGE TO EXIST. Look around you, SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE ADULTS FROM THE CHILDREN ON THAT BASIS, and LOOK BACK AT WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO DIFFERENT, IF AT ALL.

See, growing up has LITERALLY become a SECRET in the last 50 years, where the world increasingly breaks down to those few who have ‘BOTTLE’, AND THE VAST MAJORITY, LIKE YOU, WHO DON’T – see without BOTTLE, without an ‘ANCHOR’, YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT, YOU CANNOT EVOLVE OR CHANGE, SO YOU BECOME A CARICATURE OF YOUR KIND, REPEATING YOURSELF, YOUR MISTAKES, YOUR STUPIDITY, YOUR INCOMPETENCE, ALL THE FLAWS IN YOUR UPBRINGING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WHILST ‘SQAUNDERING’ EVERYTHING THAT USED TO MAKE YOU SPECIAL ON ‘REPETITIVE NOTHINGNESS’, AS THAT IS YOUR ONLY ‘COMFORT’ FOR BEING NOTHING, FOR BEING ‘POWERLESS’, FOR BEING A CHILD WHO CAN’T ‘DO ANYTHING’. It is a perfect trap, the trap of the ‘CLEVER, CUNNING LITTLE DORK’, the trap you are STUCK IN…

SHOCKER, EH? Yet, we are, where we are, or more precisely YOU ARE STUCK WHERE YOU ARE – AS A CHILD. So see THIS VERY CLEARLY BEFORE YOU READ ON – you don’t wanna GROW UP DO YOU? You have ‘JUST ENOUGH COMFORT’ TO KEEP GOING THE WAY YOU ARE, so you eventually dissolve into a fat, ugly, smelly, stagnant ‘puddle of piss’, YOU BECOME THE embarrassment YOU FEEL. And it’s not even your piss, IS IT, YOU ARE COPYING ALL THE CHILDISH DORKS AROUND YOU, as you don’t have a fucking clue what you are doing BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD – you have NO PURPOSE, and even OXYGEN is wasted on you.

So lets set the scene, show you the ‘front door’ of this AS A BIG PICTURE, the first of many today:

TO BE A CHILD IS TO DELUDE YOURSELF ON PURPOSE, BECAUSE IT FEELS ‘BETTER THAN’ YOUR ANXIETY, IN THE MOMENT…

THAT DELUSION GROWS TO INCLUDE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE – NOTHING IS REAL, EVERYTHING BECOMES A FANTASY…

BY FANTASY I MEAN EVERYTHING BECOMES HISTORIC ‘MENTAL PICTURES’ OF REALITY THAT ARE NOT REAL, BUT YOU PREFER THEM TO REALITY BECAUSE THEY COMFORT YOUR EGO, SO THEY OVERPOWER ACTUAL REALITY WITH EMOTION WHICH IS THEREFORE HIDDEN FROM YOU, ‘UNDERNEATH’ THEM.

AGAIN, EVERYTHING YOU DO IS THE ‘SAME AS BEFORE’ SO YOU ‘SEE THE SAME AS BEFORE’, ‘FEEL THE SAME AS BEFORE’ SO YOU ‘APPROXIMATE’ REALITY INTO A GENERIC PATTERN THAT IS UNREAL, BASED ON A CHILDISH MEMORY, SO YOU STOP SEEING ACTUAL REALITY, YOU FIT REALITY INTO ‘A KNOWN PATTERN’ THAT SUITS YOUR FAKE SELF AS PART OF THE ‘PROCESS OF COGNITION’, UNCONSCIOUSLY, THIS IS WHY IT BECOMES ‘A FANTASY’. 

THAT FANTASY INCLUDES YOUR SELF-CONSCIOUS SENSE, SO YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE REALLY DOING, SAYING, LOOK LIKE IN THE MOMENT, BECAUSE YOU EXPERIENCE A PRESSURE WAVE, FAKE EMOTION AS A MENTAL DISTRACTION FROM REALITY THAT WORKS LIKE A ‘BAIT AND SWITCH’ TRICK.

SO YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO BEFORE YOU ACT IT OUT, YOU CAN ONLY SEE YOUR FAKE BITCH SELF AFTERWARDS IN THE REACTION, YOU DON’T DECIDE WHAT THAT REACTION IS GOING TO BE CONSCIOUSLY, IT HAPPENS UNCONSCIOUSLY AND YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO TRUST IT.

BUT WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TO ACT, THINK, FEEL LIKE A CHILD AS AN ADULT MEANS THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, THEN YOU WILL STOP TRUSTING THOSE REACTIONS, AS YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT MANY OF THEM ARE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE – THEY ARE BASED ON FANTASY.

SEE, TO BE A CHILD IS TO HAVE NO CONSTANT SENSE OF SELF-AWARENESS PRIOR TO REACTION, BECAUSE TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE A ‘PUPPET’ CONTROLLED BY ROUTINE, AS YOUR ROUTINES ARE WHAT YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS CREATE – THERE IS ‘NO CHOICE’ IN THE MOMENT, IT IS ALWAYS THE SAME.

WHEN YOU GET THIS IN YOUR SOUL, WHEN ITS DAWNS ON YOU JUST HOW BIGGER PUSSY YOU ARE, BEING A CHILD WILL STOP BEING ‘COOL’ ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, AND START BEING THE TOTAL HUMILIATION THAT EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY SEES…

THE ‘YOU’ THE WORLD SEES IS NOT ‘CONSCIOUS YOU’, OR ‘COOL YOU’, IT IS UNCONSCIOUS YOU, IT IS YOU THE FAKE TWAT, BUT YOUR CHILDISH EGO DEFENSE MECHANISMS PROTECT YOU FROM SEEING THAT, SO YOU ARE FUCKED INTO BEING IT, FOREVER.

YOU MUST MAKE THIS UNDERSTANDING REAL TO YOU – LARGE CHUNKS OF REALITY ARE LITERALLY ‘BLANKED OUT’ IN YOUR HEAD, YOU DON’T SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING FOR REAL, YOUR PATTERNS TAKE OVER AND ITS ALL A FANTASY OF IMAGES FROM MEMORY IN THE FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM CYCLE.

SEE TO BE A CHILD IS TO HIDE WHAT IS ‘WRONG WITH YOU’ FROM YOUR CONSCIOUS AWARENESS, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY FAKE, BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT, YOU THINK YOU ARE COOL AS A DEFENSIVE MECHANSIM.

BEING A CHILD CREATES AN AIRGAP BETWEEN CONSCIOUS YOU AND REALITY, YET YOU TRUST YOURSELF, YOU NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF, HOWEVER MUCH YOU DOUBT EVERYONE ELSE AS A PROJECTION OF THAT UNCONSCIOUS ‘SELF DOUBT’. 

YES, BELIEVE IT – TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE UNAWARE OF WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SO IT GETS MUCH WORSE OVER TIME, YOU WANT TO DO IT MORE SO IT BECOMES SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DON’T STAND AGAINST IT AT THE TIME.

YOU HAVE TO GROW UP AND BECOME SELF-AWARE TO SEE THIS – YOU HAVE TO SEE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IN THE MOMENT OF WANTING TO ACT IT OUT, NOT JUST REGRET IT AFTERWARDS, AS THAT JUST STRENGTHENS THE PATTERNS YOU CAN’T STOP.

THAT IS THE SIMPLE REASON YOU THINK BEING A CHILD IS COOL, INSTEAD OF SEEING ‘TWAT YOU’ FOR WHAT YOU ARE – A SELF-IMPORTANT CHILD, CLINGING ON TO EGO SAFETY VIA MAKING IT ‘COOL’ YOU FOOL, SO YOU CAN’T CHANGE, EVER…

DON’T BELIEVE ME? SO LOOK AT THE CYCLES IN YOUR LIFE OF WHAT ‘ACTUALLY HAPPENS’, INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU THINK HAPPENS – YOU CANNOT TRUST YOUR THOUGHTS AS A CHILD, JUST LIKE YOU CAN’T TRUST YOUR FAKE FRIENDS EITHER…

SO ACCEPT THIS NOW – THE MORE YOU ARE DOMINATED BY YOUR EGO, YOUR OVERTHINKING, YOUR NEED FOR EXTERNAL VALIDATION FROM FAKE FRIENDS, ALL THE SAFETY THAT YOU ARE RIGHT, THEN THE BIGGER CHILDISH TWAT YOU ARE…

SO ACCEPT THERE IS ‘SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU’, SO YOU CAN CHANGE IT.

KNOW THAT TO BE A CHILD IS NOT TO LIVE AUTHENTICALLY IN THE MOMENT LIKE YOU THINK, IT IS TO BE FOOLED BY THE MOMENTARY FANTASY IN YOUR HEAD INTO MAKING A TOTAL TWAT OF YOURSELF, WHICH YOU NEVER, EVER SEE AT THE TIME…

START TO SEE ‘THE CON’ OF WHAT YOUR CHILD CARES ABOUT, EG SEE THAT YOU ‘CARE’ ABOUT THINGS YOU DON’T ACTUALLY WANT BECAUSE THEY UNCONSCIOUSLY THREATEN YOU SO YOU MUST GET THEM TO ‘LIKE YOU’, SO MAKE YOU ‘SELF DESTRUCTIVE’ – YOU MAKE THAT ‘THREAT COME TRUE’ UNCONSCIOUSLY VIA YOUR PATTERN REACTIONS.

BUT YOU ARE FEARFUL OF THINGS YOU UNCONSCIOUSLY DO ACTUALLY WANT, BECAUSE THEY UNCONSCIOUSLY CHALLENGE YOU TO GROW UP, TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, SO OFFER THE CHANCE OF FAILURE AT AN EGOIC LEVEL WHICH YOU CAN’T STAND – YOU MAKE THAT CONTINUAL FAILURE COME TRUE VIA THOSE SAME PATTERN REACTIONS.

THIS IS WHAT IS ‘WRONG WITH YOU’, AND THE ANSWER, OBVIOUSLY, IS ‘BOTTLE’, TO HAVE THE BOTTLE TO NOT CARE ABOUT THINGS UNLESS THEY ADD SOME VALUE TO YOUR LIFE, AND GIVE UP YOUR DEFENSE MECHANISMS, AS, WELL… WHO CARES…

THE SAYING GOES – ‘A WOLF DOES NOT CONCERN HIMSELF WITH THE OPINIONS OF SHEEP’, IT ONLY CARES ABOUT WHAT THAT ONE SHEPHARD THINKS, BUTS IT’S FEAR DOES NOT STOP THAT WOLF, IT MAKES IT ‘BRAVE’, AS OTHERWISE IT WILL STARVE TO DEATH. 

SO TRY THIS – YOU DON’T CONCERN YOURSELF WITH THE OPINIONS OF THE ANIMALS YOU EAT EVERYDAY, ITS CHILDISH, YET THAT IS THE SAME LEVEL OF CHILDISH ‘CARE’ ABOUT ‘LESS THAN’, THAT YOU DO EVERY SINGLE DAY AS NORMAL, AND THOSE ‘FALSE CARES’ CRIPPLE YOU, DENY YOU YOUR CHANCE AT A BETTER LIFE THAN THIS SHIT…

BUT YOU CAN NOT ‘THINK YOUR WAY OUT, AS YOU USE YOUR CHILDISH EGO TO THINK, SO YOU CAN ONLY BE LED OUT BY SOMETHING ELSE, BY THIS LESSON, BY ME, WHO CAN GET YOU TO CHERRY PICK THE BITS YOU LIKE, UNTIL YOU REALIZE YOU MUST DO IT ALL – IF YOU WANT ‘ADULT BENEFITS’, EG CONFIDENCE, YOU MUST ACTUALLY ‘BE ONE’, FIRST, SO YOU MUST CHANGE.

Yes, its not so much that you think INSIDE THE BOX, you don’t even think OUTSIDE THE BOX, you have no fucking clue what the BOX IS, let alone where the fuck it is, BECAUSE YOU DON’T THINK, YOU JUDGE BASED ON SOME HISTORIC FANTASY YOU ADOPTED AS A FORM OF EGO SAFETY AS A KID. You need a BOX, TO BUILD A BOX, a place to retreat to THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM CHILDISH PATTERN REACTION YOU DO NOW, and that BOX is made of ‘BOTTLE’, which gives you the ability to stand against your FALSE INSTINCTS, which you don’t even know you have BECAUSE YOU ARE A TEDIOUS LITTLE CHILD.

Do you understand the concept of this at least now? YOU MUST USE SOMEONE ELSES HEAD, THEIR THOUGHTS, UNTIL YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HAVING YOUR OWN, IN YOUR OWN BOX, otherwise you will remain a STUCK IN THE TRAP OF YOUR FAKE REACTIONS, and right now you can’t EVEN STOP THOSE REACTIONS BECAUSE YOU NEVER EVEN ‘TRY’ – A CHILD NEEDS THOSE REACTIONS TO KNOW WHAT TO DO, AN ADULT TESTS THOSE REACTIONS AGAINST WHAT THEY HAVE DECIDED THEY WANT, THAT THEY CARE ABOUT, AND DISCARDS THEM IF THEY ARE OF NO ‘USE’. See an ADULT tells themselves what they are ‘WANT’, AND THEN JUST GETS THE HELL ON WITH IT, but A child has NO IDEA WHAT IT WANTS, IT JUST WAITS FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN TO REACT AGAINST, so has to want whatever happens IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY AS A SLAVE, which is frankly SAD AS FUCK, just like you – DO YOU SEE ‘THE CURSE’ OF BEING A CHILD YET?

Now it very useful to GRASP THIS ISSUE RIGHT AT THE START, much as being childish is a sliding scale, at MOST levels you REALLY DON’T WANT TO CHANGE, you won’t accept help because as a childish adult you NEED ROUTINE, YOU NEED THINGS TO STAY THE SAME IN ORDER TO DEAL WITH LIFE, TO EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO, cause everything is SCARY. You will actively reject the help of others EVEN WHEN YOU ASK FOR IT, with YOUR FAKE YOU MAKING IT SEEM UNCOOL OR DANGEROUS TO FOLLOW THIS HELP, making you believe THE WORST OF THOSE PEOPLE IN ORDER TO STOP YOU, EVEN WHEN YOUR NORMAL LIFE IS TOTAL SHIT, AND YOU KNOW ITS TOTAL SHIT, but you still don’t want to change.

The reason for this is not mental illness in the sense your understand it, IT IS THE WEAKNESS THAT COMES FROM FAKE YOU KEEPING YOU IN A VERY LOW ENERGY STATE. You have no energy to even THINK ABOUT CHANGE, let alone do it, ALL YOU CAN DO IS YOUR ROUTINES, with a particular focus on your COMFORTERS, as your childish comforts become your WHOLE LIFE, WITH NO IMPROVEMENT, NO ADVENTURE, NO CHANCE, and even those comforters become very simple, like ATTENTION, drugs, TV, music, eating, drinking, SLEEPING BUT most of all ROUTINES. This then leads to PROPER MENTAL ILLNESS, TO PILLS AND SELF HELP, why we have the explosion of it we do in our day and age…

SO LETS BE VERY CLEAR – TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE STUCK IN A WORLD OF CHEAP THRILLS, THE COMFORTS OF A SLAVE, in amongst all that ANXIETY AND SLAVERY TO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW DOES. You HATE YOUR LIFE, so YOUR CHEAP THRILLS ARE ALL YOU HAVE, it’s an endless cycle of boom and bust, to no end, no purpose, SO YOU DESERVE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, you deserve to BURN, because if you are GIFTED THERE IS NO NEED FOR ANY OF THIS SHIT. If you have never GROWN UP AT ALL, and are now trapped by low energy levels, YOU HAVE A VERY SERIOUS IF VERY SIMPLE PROBLEM, AND THE ONLY WAY TO FACE IT IS TO SEE YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU ARE, AND WHY YOU ARE THAT, THEN MAKE A CHOICE TO GROW UP AND BE THE TRUTH…

And YES – of course, this introduction has to be HARSH – YOU HAVE TO DECIDE TO CHANGE IF YOU WANT TO GROW UP IN ‘LATER LIFE’ (YOU ARE NOT A TEENAGER ANYMORE, ARE YOU, MUCH AS YOU still THINK THAT), SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF BEING KIND, EH? See, it is all your COMFORTING YOURSELF, ALL YOU COPING, ALL YOUR DELUDING YOURSELF THAT HAS KEPT YOU STUCK THERE, LIKE A TWAT – THERE IS NO VALUE TO YOU IN ME SOFTENING THIS BLOW, YOU HAVE TO HIT A ‘LOW EBB’ HARD AND FAST IN ORDER TO BOUNCE BACK UP HARD AND FAST ‘SO’ YOU CAN GROW UP STUPID, THAT IS THE POINT OF MAKING A CHOICE TO CHANGE. OTHERWISE YOU WILL THINK YOU CAN GO ON LIKE THIS, LIKE ‘NOTHING’ FOREVER, WHILE YOU FADE TO BLACK – all children regress as they age, they all become more and more immature as their energy fades away, until they can do nothing more than a 10y/o could, and a stupid 10 y/o at that, AS THEY CANNOT FACE CHANGE. They cannot really face anything WRONG WITH THEMSELVES… 

So embrace this, embrace the pain of what the fuck your CONSCIENCE IS TRYING TO TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, THAT IS THE BLOODY REASON YOU HAVE ONE, your body wants to CRY FOR A REASON STUPID, your EMOTIONS ARE TRYING TO HELP YOUR DUMB ASS, LISTEN TO THEM, INSTEAD OF COMFORTING YOURSELF WITH YET ANOTHER CHEAP THRILL, ANOTHER DRUG AGAIN… SO TRY NOT TO SCREAM LIKE A BITCH ABOUT FUCK ALL, I know You see no NEED FOR ‘ADULTING’, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ACTUAL THRILLS ‘ARE’, so cheap is all you can DO, INDEED REAL THRILLS WOULD SCARE YOU. You simply want to drift through life, comforting yourself with the empty, feckless pleasures of a child, cause no one has taught you the COMFORTS OF ELITISM. Or more precisely, YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN FORCED TO GROW UP, and your society lets you GET BY without any need to DO IT, because you are just so fucking ‘precious’, so fragile, and your ‘state’ will have to baby you for the rest of your life, AS YOU CAN’T LOOK AFTER YOURSELF – YOU CAN’T DEFEND YOURSELF AGAINST YOUR LOWER, STUPID, SELF DESTRUCTIVE, UNCONSCIOUS FAKE SELF.

SEE THIS CLEAR – a CHILD IS DAMNED to wander around in a dream world AND GOD HELP ANYONE WHO TRIES TO HELP THEM, A WORLD WHERE EVERYTHING IS HIDDEN FROM YOU, CONCEALED BEHIND REACTIONS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, instead of living in the REAL WORLD, THE SUPERNATURAL ONE YOU KNOW ONLY FROM MYTHS AND LEGENDS, the world of your ANCESTORS WHO HAD THE BALLS TO DO IT, as FRANKLY FOR MANY OF THEM it was their ONLY OPTION TO SURVIVE, so it was a ‘choice’ they made willingly AS THE ALTERNATIVE WAS ACTUAL DEATH, not the silly little fears that control you…

Ahhh, but you need the SPIRITUAL VERSION OF THIS, you need it to be SPECIAL, SECRET, so know I’m not much for quoting from the Daoist canon on GROWING UP, much of it lacks context so is useless for modern readers, unwilling to do the background reading, but in terms of childishness, there is a lovely one from Laozi that is particularly instructive in showing you how your feckless little CHILDISH THOUGHTS, WHAT YOU THINK IS HARMLESS SO DO ‘JUST ONE MORE TIME’, ‘TO GET AWAY WITH IT’ again as a little security blanket, so ALL THAT CHILDISH SHIT becomes your DESTINY – YOU THINK WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LITTLE SKULL IS SECRET, so you can just FAKE YOUR ANTI HERO EVERY DAMN DAY, and no one will ever know what a HARMLESS POS you are, because you where HOT, once. REALLY KIDDA, YOU THINK ANYONE YOU KNOW THINKS THAT CRAP ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW..?

So BURN THIS INTO YOUR SKULL YOU SILLY BITCH, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO GROW UP, AND LEARN HOW TO ‘WATCH’:

‘Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

If you don’t CHANGE (your thoughts), you will end up where you are HEADING (THE CESSPIT FULL OF DEAD ANIMALS…)…’

SEE THIS IS WHERE YOU CHARACTER OF ‘NO CHARACTER’ COMES FROM, of all your BRAIN DEAD HABITS YOU CAN’T CHANGE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T SEE THEM IN THE MOMENT, but All CHANGE, in even the most basic of things, REQUIRES YOU TO GROW UP FIRST, because you cannot change YOURSELF as a child, YOU CAN ONLY REPEAT YOURSELF IN INCREASINGLY DISTURBED AND OUT OF CONTROL LITTLE WAYS, with only your FEARS OF EXPOSURE AND PUNISHMENT to moderate your behavior.

These ‘exposures’ are often ‘blanked out’, as they have already happened TO YOU, but you can’t FACE THE TRUTH OF THAT HUMILIATION, so you OFTEN ‘DOUBLE DOWN’ AND GO ON WITH IT, and become even more disturbed, secretive, AS YOU CLING ON TO BEING A CHILD, even when you know you destroy yourself, SO YOU MAKE IT COOL TO HUMILIATE YOURSELF, as that is the only way you can go on – TO VALIDATE YOURSELF AS NOT WORTHLESS OR INSANE by PRETENDING TO BE COOL, TO BE AN ANTI-HERO INSTEAD OF YOUR HERO, which you, so very clearly, ARE NOT. Some GIFTED Amercian TYPE once told me that to BE COOL, WHAT THEY TEACH YOU IN ‘HIGH SCHOOL’ MEANS THAT EVERYTHING GOOD, EXCITING AS AN ACHIEVEMENT MUST COME EASY, SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO TRY, LIKE ITS NATURAL, and that is why WESTERN CIVILIZATION HAS GONE TO SHIT, BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE THAT BOLLOCKS. All your ‘modern’ thrills come from PASSIVE, POINTLESS ECHO OF WHAT COOL ACTUALLY IS, you have NO CLASS STRUCTURE TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH, YOU CAN SIMPLY SELF MEDICATE, SELF CERTIFY AS COOL, live in a COMIC, where everything is what it looks like from a distance, yet it all falls apart when you stop to look at it UP CLOSE…

The Zen concept of the ‘THE ENEMY’, even the Western ‘Gatekeeper’  that is your FAKE character, is too hard for MOST of you to see at an animal level, because you so desperately need that CHARACTER TO PROTECT YOU FROM EGOIC PAIN, so you can never see it in the now of being it – YOU ‘HAVE’ TO BELIEVE YOUR CHARACTER IS A GOOD THING, the alternative is a level of humiliation that would be UNBEARABLE, particularly for women. We know that here on the LEFT HAND PATH, because we have all had to SEPARATE OURSELVES FROM OUR CHARACTERS, so we don’t BLAME YOU FOR THAT, it is not your fault at an animal level, but it is YOUR PROBLEM, and you are damned if you don’t change your thoughts TO END UP WHERE YOU ARE HEADING – YOUR ENEMY HATES YOU, OBVIOUSLY, SO HOW DO YOU THINK ALWAYS SIDING WITH THE ENEMY, YOUR ANTI-YOU IS GOING TO END, EH? Not well, see however CLEVER you THINK you are, IT IS THE CLEVERNESS OF A CHILD, all smug and safe, thinking they are ‘invisible’ AT THE BACK OF THE CLASSROOM, whilst EVERYONE IS (NOT SO) SECRETLY LAUGHING AT YOU, as you continually HUMILIATE YOURSELF IN PUBLIC, so they ‘like you’…

If it helps at all, (and it should), try and understand that right now you LIVE IN ‘DORK’ WORLD, the tiny little world of a child who knows nothing, a world defined by what you recognize and react to, SO YOU THINK THAT IS THE WHOLE WORLD, because that limited little range of reactions CREATE YOU REALITY, WHAT YOU THINK – YOUR CHARACTER CREATES YOUR REALITY, what you can do or not do in any particular moment. That is NOT REAL, it is simply the childish need to project yourself onto every situation, dumb it down to your own level, and make it understandable, when the majority of what is ACTUALLY THERE is simply WAY OVER YOUR HEAD – it is outside of your life experience, and at a gifted level is way more complex than your childhood patterns could ever understand. But you think you KNOW BETTER, you think your patterns give you some version of the TRUTH, yet they are simply a set of defense mechanisms that STOP YOU FROM EVER KNOWING THE TRUTH – STAYING STUCK AS A CHILD DAMNS YOU TO EVER INCREASING LEVEL OF STOOOOPID, simply because you can NEVER LEARN…

BUT FAR WORSE, AND I MEAN FAR, F.A.R. WORSE – YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DEVELOP YOURSELF, because of your failure to do the MOST BASIC OF ALL CHILDHOOD THINGS – BECOME AN ADULT, by learning to overpower your ‘INSTINCTS’ INLINE WITH YOUR BIGGER PICTURE, SO YOU ARE NOT COMPELLED TO FOLLOW THEM AS REACTIONS TO THE MOMENT, AS YOUR ONLY CHOICE, AS YOU ALSO HAVE ANOTHER, BIGGER, MORE IMPORTANT PERSPECTIVE. If you DON’T LEARN HOW TO DO THIS YOU ARE DAMNED TO ‘WAIT’ FOR EVERYTHING, ANYTHING TO HAPPEN ‘TO YOU’, AND THEN REACT TO IT VIA YOUR PREDEFINED, CHILDHOOD PATTERNS – YOUR LIFE IS WHAT YOU ‘EXPECT’ TO HAPPEN, NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN AGAINST YOUR STUPID CHILDISH ‘EXPECTATIONS’, WHICH ARE JUST A REACTION TO YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE. AND THIS MAKES YOU LAZY, and frankly unbelievably BORING…

Accept this even if you don’t see it yet – YOU CAN NEVER DECIDE TO STICK TO WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, what you DECIDED ‘BEFORE’, AS A CHILDISH TWAT, so you can never change, YOU ARE CONTROLLED BY THIS SIMPLE CHILDISH NEED TO WAIT TO REACT. IT IS A ‘SELF-FULFILLING PROPHESY’ – YOU DON’T EVEN TRY AND DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, YOU IMMEDIATELY FOCUS ON WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN AS A REACTION. THEN YOUR REACTIONS FALL ONE AFTER THE OTHER LIKE DOMINOES, SUCKING THE LIFE, YOUR ENERGY RIGHT OUT OF YOU, WHICH MAKES YOU FEEL SOMETHING, HOWEVER GOOD, BAD OR INDIFFERENT, FOR A MOMENT, WHICH CHILDREN BECOME ADDICTED TO. SO THE TRICK, OF COURSE, IS TO STOP KNOCKING THAT FIRST DOMINO OVER, AND THEN YOU CAN RECOVER YOURSELF, THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO BE AN ADULT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND – THIS IS WHAT YOUR ADDICTION TO BEING A CHILD IS, HOW IT WORKS, THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T WANT TO GROW THE FUCK UP…

YOUR REACTION TO THE MOMENT IS ‘ALWAYS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THE CHILD’, MORE COMPELLING THAN ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT, YOU RARELY EVEN BOTHER DECIDING WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO HAPPEN AND IMPOSING IT ON YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES LIKE AN ADULT, IN ADVANCE.  SEE A CHILD KNOWS IT IS A SLAVE TO THE GROWN UPS, SO IT WAITS TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO, and that becomes your whole life – A CHILD IS NEVER ON ‘THE FRONT FOOT’, A CHILD CANNOT CHANGE THEIR OWN REALITY, THEY ONLY ACT IN THE MOMENT OF THAT REACTION. Indeed, WITHOUT ANYTHING TO REACT TO THEY CAN’T DO SHIT, WHICH IS WHY EVERY TEDIOUS LITTLE BASTARD THING THAT HAPPENS BECOMES SO IMPORTANT TO YOU, BECOMES YOUR REALITY – you have no egoic reality without this, WHICH IS WHY WE TEACH YOU TO BE NOTHING FIRST.

Yes, YOU LOVE IT, don’t you, you want to be a CHILD IN ORDER TO COPE WITH BEING A CHILD, ITS A FORM OF INSANITY,  A FORM OF CHILDISH ADDICTION TO SWEETIES, AND THAT IS WHY ALL SELF CHANGE, ALL DESIRE TO CHANGE IS A ‘CHOICE’ YOU MUST MAKE. YES, YOU MUST GIVE UP CHILDISH COMFORTS IN ORDER TO GAIN THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM, which is why you think all change is suffering, BUTS IT NOT – all CHANGE IS TO ESCAPE THE SUFFERING OF A CHILD YOU HAVE NORMALISED YOU FOOL. BE CLEAR – YOU HAVE LET FAKE YOU MAKE YOUR EGOIC SUFFERING NORMAL, SO ALL CHANGE LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE GIVING THINGS UP OF VALUE BECAUSE FAKE YOU HAS MADE ‘DRINKING BLEACH TASTE GOOD’, at least in the moment of doing it…

See… you, LITTLE OLD YOU, are a VICTIM OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE NOW, but most IMPORTANTLY, YOU ARE VICTIM OF FAKE YOU, simply because you have no idea another way exists, so whenever you TRY AND BE BETTER, YOU ALWAYS FAIL, SOONER OR LATER. So YOU get to watch your life spiral downwards FOR REASONS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, becoming less and less as you drift into the bitter, PERMANENTLY UNHAPPY loneliness of the GIFTED WHO NEVER LEARN TO DEVELOPMENT THEMSELVES, who NEVER LEARN THAT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE COMES FROM YOUR ‘SPIRIT’, so you might want to look after that. YOU MUST LOOK AFTER YOUR GIFTED ENERGY LEVELS TO BE ‘HAPPY’, AND NOT BE STRESSED OUT BY NORMAL, EVERYDAY LIFE, which you constantly need to COMFORT YOURSELF TO COPE WITH, whilst your ancestors had to be ready, willing and able to kill other people just to live through the fucking day – SO THEY NEEDED THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM, WHILST SADLY YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITHOUT THEM, BUT YOU ARE WRONG.

Yes, this is a post on growing up, IN THE SPIRITUAL SENSE OF IT, which in all truth is all of it, as YOU CAN NOT BE A CHILD ON THE LEFT HAND PATH AND GET ANYWHERE, you have to mature, you have to be ABLE TO STAND AGAINST YOURSELF, YOUR FAKE CHARACTER AND TRY. But you can’t, because your society has removed that from LESSON PLAN – these days you can wander through life as a child, SO YOU NEVER TRY, you expect to be given things FOR NOTHING, SO YOU REMAIN STUCK AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, and can’t develop yourself even when you briefly TRY, after some grandiose failure, or burning humiliation, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FOUNDATION TO BUILD ON – you have never learned HOW TO BUILD UP FROM ‘NOTHING’, so chasing NOTHING IS ALWAYS MORE IMPORTANT, in the continual stream of some momentary mood swing that is YOUR ENTIRE LIFE…

Yes, given all FOLKS STUCK at an ‘animal level’ (YOU) are stuck in their TINY LITTLE OH SO IMPORTANT ‘MOMENT AGO’ FOREVER, it does not take a genius to see how YOUR DEVELOPMENT ends – YOUR DEVELOPMENT IS ALWAYS LESS IMPORTANT TO FAKE YOU. But you don’t FAIL TO START, you just never bother to do anything other than THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THAT IS ALL FAKE YOU WANNA DO – FANTAZISE, unless Fake You gets some benefit from it, that is, FROM STANDING AGAINST THAT ANIMAL instinct IN THE MOMENT OF HAVING IT. See YOUR Fake You is not one consistent thing, it is a multitude of little YOUs, all screaming like babies, but some of whom can be ‘BROUGHT ON SIDE’ in this quest for BETTER THAN, MUCH AS MANY OF THEM WILL HAVE TO DIE…

So, however remarkable I find the need to write this, to tell you a SECRET YOUR ANCESTORS WERE TAUGHT AS CHILDREN, SO IS NO SECRET AT ALL, know that without this understanding, without a lesson IN HOW TO GROW THE FUCK UP, Part 4 on Radical Character Change is wasted on you, BECAUSE YOU WILL LET YOUR FAKE YOU STOP YOU DOING ANY OF IT, BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD – YOU THINK LIKE A CHILD, ACT LIKE A CHILD, FEEL LIKE A CHILD – YOU HAVE NO ‘BOTTLE’, no ability to stand against you animal instincts, let alone THE FALSE INSTINCTS OF FAKE YOU, you can barely hold your bladder in check… 

Yes, at an animal level all BOTTLE IS A FORM OF TENSION/RESISTANCE, but that is only the beginning, that is the introduction, the RIGHTS OF PASSAGE, why you need to understand is that at a spiritual level you must learn to ‘have the GRACE to hold yourself while those around you fall’. However much you must start with TENSION, YOU MUST GROW PASSED THAT TO FEEL NO TENSION AT ALL IN ORDER TO BUILD ON TOP OF THAT, because you have the CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF THAT IS THE SIGNATURE OF THE ARISTOS. See growing up SPIRITUALLY IS MORE THAN JUST BEING TOUGH MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY, IT IS BEYOND THAT – YOU MUST NOT JUST SIMPLY BE ABLE TO BEAR EGOIC PAIN OF ANY KIND, YOU MUST ACCEPT IT WITHOUT THE NEED TO TENSE AGAINST IN TIME, and then it stops becoming pain, as that pain was EGOIC, FAKE, AND DID NOT REALLY EXIST. This is how you BURST THE BUBBLE OF BEING A CHILD, you see through it all, all the childishness FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM of your childish ego, which is an illusion.

But, Unlike Part 4, which is very technical in nature, this is a very chatty post, as a number of elements need to combine in your mind to get you on this horse, but you must try and hold a bigger picture about CHANGE AT THE SAME TIME. These bigger pictures are discussed below, because there are several of them, but to start you must get x3 simple things:

1. TO BE A CHILD IS TO BE ALONE IN THIS UNIVERSE, cut off from your Spirit, YOUR REAL YOU, without any contact with the best thing about you. The adult is an adult because it has contact with its Spirit, its ‘Presence’ in a way it can trust, SO IS NEVER ALONE, AND ALWAYS HAS HELP – YOUR ATTITUDE TO LIFE WILL CHANGE, AS YOU WILL KNOW MORE, AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND HOW TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ANYTHING YOU WISH TO KNOW MORE ABOUT, AS TRUTH, RATHER THAN OPINION.
2. TO GROW UP TAKES A LARGE ABOUT OF ENERGY, as in itself IT is higher level of consciousness than a CHILD, much as that level counts for nothing yet, IT GIVES YOU THE MENTAL MECHANISMS THAT ENABLES ALL DEVELOPMENT ON TOP OF THAT. But that energy must be directed in the right way to be useful, even if those ways seem abstract to you, BECAUSE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THE LAW OF GIFTED ENERGY CONSERVATION IN ALL THINGS.
3. THERE IS NO FUN IN BEING A CHILD, all your FUN is simply the ‘release of anxiety’, so feeling a ‘bit better’ for a moment simply because you normally feel WORSE, as ‘YOUR BASELINE NORMAL STATE’, like a frustrated child, so you are CONTROLLED BY IT, it gets you to CHASE YOUR BASIC, whilst real fun is ABOUT ‘FEELING BETTER THAN, all the motherfucking time – YOU ARE A FOOL who does not realize that what you do to FEEL BETTER MAKES YOU FEEL EVEN WORSE ‘NORMALLY’ BY ‘WEAKENING YOU’.

Now, YOU are stupid, so you don’t understand what I have written above, BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY ‘ORDER OF RANK’, OF ‘VALUE’ TO SEE WHAT IS IMPORTANT ‘OVERALL’, and what is not, so you don’t get that its about FREEDOM from your circumstances, AND POWER over yourself. So as a moment of light relief I will write it another way – along time a go a distant relative of mine, a total bastard of a man long dead now, told an 8 y/o me not to listen to anyone, take no advice on what to do or who to be in this world because THEY have no idea what you are doing, so just KNOW THAT THE GREAT TRICK TO BEING HAPPY IS THE LOVE OF A GOOD LOOKING BITCH, AND SUPERNATURAL POWERS – THAT IS WHAT YOU AIM FOR, everything else is just KEEPING SCORE, and ‘you never count your money, when you’re sitting at the table’ (RIP Kenny), as that just means you’re a DORK.

See YOU MUST BE A GROWN UP TO ENJOY LIFE, BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYTHING IMPORTANT EXISTS in A ‘RANK OF SIGNIFICANCE’ – MOST OF YOUR LIFE IS YOUR BASIC, AND RANDOM CHANCE, the life of a SLAVE, WHICH IS NOT WORTH LIVING, BUT YOU DON’T SEE these different levels of VALUE IN DIFFERENT THINGS, YOU JUST SEE ALL THINGS IN THE MOMENT AT THE SAME LEVEL. However HE valued BOTH OF THOSE THINGS as so SIGNIFICANT TO HIM BECAUSE THEY SHOW YOU WHAT FEELING ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU ‘IS’, BETTER THAN ANY TEXT BOOK EVER COULD, AND THAT IS ‘THE BEGINNING A LIFE WORTH LIVING’. But a CHILD does not understand that, a Child has no perspective, so THEY SEE EVERYTHING At THE SAME LEVEL, EVEN HUGE LIFE CHANGING STUFF IS THE SAME LEVEL AS ‘EATING A BISCUIT’ in the momentary mood you live in, so you FUCK UP important things in the same feckless way you spill your drink when you are drunk, BECAUSE YOU DON’T REALIZE THE DIFFERENT ‘SCALES OF RANK’ IN THE MOMENT, YOU THINK IT ALL JUST LIFE, BECAUSE YOU ARE A TOTAL TWAT.

Now, however much you read the above as a light-hearted JOKE from a man with no understanding of spirituality, know that I realized it was meant to teach me ‘SIGNIFICANCE’, TO TEACH ME MY ‘SCALE’ OF WORTHWHILE ‘ACHIEVEMENTS’, TO VALUE BEING ‘BETTER THAN’ THIS OR THAT TEMPORARY FEELING BECAUSE OF BIGGER THINGS WAY MORE IMPORTANT TO ME I HAD ALREADY DECIDED TO DO, as those things are all that matters – YOU ONLY HAVE VALUES IF YOU CAN ADHERE TO THEM IN THE MOMENT, OTHERWISE THEY ARE NOT ‘VALUABLE’, you just delude yourself. For example you don’t understand that THE VALUE OF KEEPING OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY IS A FOOLS ERRAND, A WASTE OF TIME, SO THE VAST MAJORITY OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU, VIA ‘OTHER PEOPLE’ IS NOT WORTH EVEN ONE FLEETING THOUGHT, as most are little better than nasty little animals. YET FOR MOST CHILDREN IT IS THE PRIMARY, UNCONSCIOUS ‘VALUE’ THEY LIVE BY, AS IT IS THE FIRST/ONLY VALUE YOU ARE TAUGHT AS A CHILD, SO YOU NEVER GROW OUT OF THAT, and NEVER GROW INTO THE REALIZATION THAT PEOPLE MUST PROVE THEIR VALUE TO YOU, IF THEY ARE TO MERIT ANY ATTENTION, AT ALL!

So today, you need to learn what that means FOR YOU ‘THE ARISTOS’ – TODAY YOU NEED TO LEARN THAT ADULTS HAVE ‘BOTTLE’, WHICH COMES FROM THE FEELING OF THEIR SPIRIT, THEIR ENERGETIC PRESENCE, ADULTS ARE ALWAYS ‘VALUE THEIR OWN COMPANY FIRST’, CARING ONLY FOR THE BEST OF THE REST OF THIS WORLD, AND ADULTS ALL HAVE THE SAME GOAL IN THIS LIFE, TO ‘MAKE DEATH PROUD TO CLAIM THEM’ WHEN THEY HAVE ‘FINISHED’ WHAT THEY INTENDED TO DO, (Sorry, Will…). But I know you were not taught that, YOU WERE NEVER TAUGHT TO greet DEATH with a smile, AND WHEN YOU FEEL THAT BLUE TINGE CREEPING OVER YOUR VISION YOU TELL the OLD CUNT TO WARN THE DEVIL HE’D BETTER HAVE YOUR FUCKING MONEY THIS TIME.

See, DEATH IS GOING TO CLAIM YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE FOR EVEN THE HARDIEST DAOIST IMMORTAL, SO MIGHT AS WELL INCLUDE HIM IN YOUR PLAN OF LIFE AS ‘THE FRAMEWORK OF TRUTH’, EVERYDAY, CAUSE WITHOUT THAT TRUTH, WITHOUT REMEMBERING THAT ONE DAY SOON YOU WILL QUITE LITERALLY ‘WAKE UP DEAD’, INDEED TO EVEN PRETEND THAT TRUTH DOES NOT EXIST (LIKE YOU DO) ALREADY MAKES YOU WAY DUMBER THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW – YOU DENY THE MOST BASIC FACT OF LIFE YOU DORK, THAT IS WHY EVERY FUCKING SPIRITUAL SYSTEM ON THE PLANET MAKES YOU ACCEPT DEATH, AND HAVE A PLAN FOR IT. YES, THAT IS THE POINT OF ALL THESE SANITIZED RELIGIOUS FAIRYTALES – IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT THEY ARE WRONG, IT MATTERS THAT YOU ACCEPT DEATH AND LIVE ACCORDINGLY TO ENABLE THE GREATER ACCEPTANCE OF MORE TRUTH THAT COMES WITH THAT, WHICH IS FAR MORE VALUABLE THAN THAT – IT IS A MENTAL MECHANIM THAT HELPS YOU SEE THE TRUTH. But hey, sure you are right, just to GO BACK TO BEING ‘FOREVER YOUNG’ LIKE AN ANT, SURE BEING TOALLY TERRIFIED AT THE MOMENT OF YOUR DEMISE AND HAVING NO IDEA WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN WILL WORK OUT JUST FINE.

Yes, I’m serious, see all this Heaven and Hell stuff used to be one of THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO GROW UP CHILDREN, TO SCARE THEM INTO IT, as it is a mental construct that forces the most basic ‘animal kingdom’ TRUTH ON YOU AS A PATTERN, which sporns many, MANY, OTHER PATTERNS OF TRUTH AS WELL. However much you, as GIFTED SHOULD NOT NEED THIS, the dumbest amongst you may want to have a go now, so work out your own death from the averages of a couple of generations back, leave out the early accidents, then count forward in the diary SO you KNOW approx Month and Year YOU WILL BE DEAD BY, AND THEN PUT A BIG FUCKING PIN IT, as you can start to use it every day to count back to HOW MUCH TIME YOU PROBABLY HAVE LEFT, AT BEST. Literally write it down, look in the mirror now, SEE YOU ARE ALREADY MUCH OLDER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, MUCH UGLY, MUCH SICKER, MUCH FATTER, MUCH MORE FUCKING BORING AND CREEPY, and see how you feel ABOUT YOUR LIFE TO COME, YOUR LIFE AS A TEDIOUS ‘LITTLE CHILD’ who has no concept of the basic truth of all in life – YOUR ONGOING DEATH AS A PROCESS THAT IS ALREADY HAPPENING YOU – YOU ARE ACTUALLY DYING RIGHT NOW, YOU TOOL…

It will work wonders for your ability to hold the context of your LIFE CHOICES IN TERMS OF THEIR SIGNIFICANCE, OF THE VALUE OF THIS OR THAT CHEAP THRILL, against what else you might want to ACTUALLY BLOODY DO BEFORE ITS TO DAMN LATE, AND THE ANIMAL ADVANTAGE YOU WERE BORN WITH, YOUR POWER OVER DEATH, FINALLY RUNS OUT. But go on deluding yourself if you like, SURE YOU ARE STILL AS HOT AS YOU WERE AT 17, just maybe start taking all those mirrors in your house down, as being constantly reminded of what you REALLY LOOK LIKE NOW MAY START TO STING A LITTLE.

Fun fact – the majority of you reading this have NO more than 30 years left, and many of you less than 20, SO JUST TRY AND COUNT THE FESTIVALS AND XMAS UP EH, MAKE IT REAL FOR YOU IN TERMS OF ‘YOUR LIFE RUNNING OUT’. 2nd Fun Fact, most of you will have lost 90% of your freedoms, health and choices at least 10 years before you die, so you will only be left with the ability to watch yourself die, in a hospice, where the staff hate you, and wish you DEAD, and your children only get to read about your terror and loneliness in those final years when they pick up you bin bags full of smelly stuff, much as they won’t care either, BECAUSE YOU HAD NO IDEA HOW TO GROW THEM UP EITHER, DO YOU – YOU ACTUALLY ENCOURAGED THEM TO STAY FOREVER YOUNG, JUST LIKE YOU DID, you probably even gave them your pills.

Its ODD REALLY, TO KNOW SPARTANS WERE RIGHT 2,500 YEARS AGO, AS THE POINT OF LIFE AS A MENTAL CONSTRUCT ACTUALLY IS A ‘BEAUTIFUL DEATH’, BUT KNOW THIS IS WHY THINKING ABOUT DEATH IS THE ULTIMATE TEST FOR YOUR LEVEL OF CHILDISHNESS, as the totally delusional amongst will rebel against this TRUTH SO STRONGLY you won’t even be able to consider it for more than a moment, AS YOU NEVER GROWN UP AT ALL, SO HAVE LITTLE OR NO TRUTH IN YOUR LIFE. You are just a little baby really, aren’t you, ALONE IN THE JUNGLE, TERRIFIED OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE…

Yes, sorry, did I not say – ALL SPIRITUAL SOCIETY IS ‘THE JUNGLE’, ‘THE ANIMAL KINGDOM’, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST AND ALL THAT, AS ITS ABOUT POWER, WHILE ALL YOUR FAKE EQUALITY, SOCIETY, DEMOCRACY AND CIVILIZATION IS A HUMAN MADE INVENTION, which is ultimately designed to CONTROL, ENSLAVE, DIVIDE AND OPPRESS THE POOR, KEEP THEM POWERLESS, AS THE TOP OF YOUR SOCIETY KNOWS PERFECTLY WELL TO THIS DAY. Look out the window you fool, YOU SEE THE POLICE OUT THERE ‘PROTECTING YOU’, the Police are there to PROTECT  SOCIETY ‘FROM YOU’, the ‘greater good’ exists as an order of RANK, and right now the GREATER GOOD DOES NOT INCLUDE YOU, DOES IT, YOU ARE CANNON FODDER, EXPENDABLE, AS YOU HAVE NO RANK. But that is cool, you really don’t need the police if you are GIFTED, YOU ARE WAY BETTER OFF IN THE JUNGLE, and who knows, might even grow your dumb ass up a little too.

Yes, to be a GIFTED ADULT is to LIVE AT A BIGGER SCALE OF SIGNIFICANCE IN THE LIGHT OF YOUR INEVITABLE DEATH, above these trivial moments THAT SIMPLY WON’T MATTER AT THE MOMENT OF YOUR DEATH, but the only way for you, at your ANIMAL LEVEL, can get a ‘taste’ of that is to IMAGINE WHAT BEING ‘BRAVE’ WOULD FEEL LIKE, RIGHT NOW, WHAT YOU WOULD DO DIFFERENT IF YOU DID FEEL BRAVE ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY THAT YOU SECRETLY WANT TO DO, EVEN YEARN TO DO, OUTSIDE OF YOUR EGO SAFTEY, to imagine what an ADULT FEELS LIKE, for a moment at least. That is what it means to BE ALIVE, what the PERMANENT context of your DEATH, HELD IN YOUR HEAD gives you, why every warrior race on the planet used to teach it to its children BEFORE WE ENTERED THE CLASSLESS WORLD WE HAVE NOW, with your Fake Democracy wallpapering over the truth of The Jungle we inhabit that has not changed in THOUSANDS of years, on this planet we live on which we think is OURS, like one more breed of silly little ants, sitting on our silly little ant hill AS KINGS OF THE WORLD. Yes, unless you develop yourself you are little more than VEGETATION…

Yes, sadly you have no idea there is something better in this world better THAN YOUR LIFE, yet you deny it to yourself as you simply don’t know it exists, and even reading this most of you still prefer to be NUMB, oblivious LIKE A SLAVE, BECAUSE IT’S EASIER – YOU HAVE NO ENERGY TO TRY AND BE DIFFERENT SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU WASTE IT ON MAINLINING YOUR silly little NUMBNESS, YOUR ZONING OUT, LIKE A TWAT, so you tell yourself its A ‘CHOICE YOU MAKE  TO STAY A CHILD’ CAUSE IT FEELS BETTER, when IN REALITY it is anything but that – IT’S A CIRCULAR TRAP, A NEGATIVE FEEDBACK LOOP OF NOTHINGNESS, as you are simply AN EMPTY VESSEL.

SO UNDERSTAND  THE FIRST BIG REVEAL TODAY, ‘CHANGE YOUR MIND’ – 

YOU ARE NOT MAKING A CHOICE TO BE A CHILD, YOU ARE STUCK THERE BY YOUR LEVEL, YOU ARE DELUDING YOURSELF JUST TO MAKE YOUR TOTAL FAILURE MORE BEARABLE.

YES, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CLING ON TO BEING A CHILD BECAUSE YOU ARE SCARED AND HAVE NO CHOICE, AS THEY ARE TOO – RIGHT NOW YOU ARE ONE OF ‘THEM’, NOT ONE OF ‘US’.

SO YOU SIMPLY COMFORT YOURSELF WITH THE COMFORTS OF A CHILD, YOU MAKE THE ‘BEST OF IT’, THE ‘BEST OF NOTHING’, WHICH IS JUST MORE AND MORE NOTHINGNESS, MORE OBLIVION, MORE ZOING OUT, OF MAKING THE LIFE OF A VICTIM INTO SOMETHING ‘COOL’.

SEE YOU TELL YOURSELF YOU WANT TO DO THIS IN ORDER TO FEEL BETTER, WHICH ACTUALLY MAKES YOU SLIGHTLY INSANE – YOU CURRENTLY HAVE NO CHOICE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO REALISTIC ‘OTHER’ OPTION, SO YOU JUST GIGGLE ALONG AT YOUR OWN HUMILIATION, ALL BACK OF THE BUS.

TO BE A GIFTED ADULT IS TO ASPIRE TO BEING SIGNIFICANT FOR ITS OWN SAKE, NO MATTER WHO ELSE SEES IT – TO ‘LIVE YOUR LIFE AS ART’. 

TO BE A GIFTED CHILD IS TO ASPIRE TO COMFORT, MONEY, SEX, BANAL EGO SAFETY, IT IS TO HIDE FROM LIFE – LIVING OUT A PITIFUL ‘HERD FANTASY’.

SO WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER BE GIVEN THE CHOICE – SIGNIFICANT OR COMFORTABLY NUMB, AN ADULT OR A BABY?

BE CLEAR – THE LIFE OF A SLAVE IS NOT WORTH LIVING, BECAUSE IT IS NOT YOUR LIFE, YOU SIMPLY DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD, YOU ARE A COPYCAT…

SEE, TO YOU BEING AN ADULT IS ‘AN UNPLEASANT LOOKING OPTION’ BEST AVOIDED, TO US IT’S THE SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION OF THE GODS.

BUT WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU WILL SEE THAT BEING A CHILD IS SIMPLY DRINKING BLEACH EVERYDAY IN ORDER TO KEEP YOURSELF SICK…

DO YOU GET THIS? WHEN YOU STOP DRINKING THE BLEACH, EVEN BEFORE YOU STOP WANTING TO DRINK THE BLEACH, YOU WILL FIND THE EGOIC BURN WILL BECOME PLEASANT MENTALLY AS AN ACHIEVEMENT. SEE YOU KNOW THAT IS ‘NOT YOU’ SUFFERING, THAT IS YOUR ENEMY SUFFERING BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO DRINK THE POISON IT IS USING TO KILL YOU, FIRST MENTALLY IN RETROSPECT AS A GOAL YOU HAVE HIT, BUT IT QUICKLY BECOMES THE ENJOYMENT OF ‘WINNING VIA SUFFERING’ IN THE MOMENT. THEN, MAGICALLY, THE ACTUAL FEELING OF EGOIC SUFFERING WILL CHANGE TO ONE OF PLEASURE, OF ENERGY, OF POWER. THIS IS WHAT THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM ARE AS A SENSATION – WHY ‘POWER OVER YOURSELF’ FEELS AMAZING.

WHAT I HAVE JUST WRITTEN IS THE BEST WAY TO SUMMARIZE AND REMEMBER WHAT IT IS TO GROW THE FUCK UP, IF YOU ARE GIFTED – YOUR DESIRE TO DRINK THE BLEACH WILL LEAVE YOU WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND IT IS BLEACH, NOT A CHEAP THRILL, WHICH IS WHY NO ADULT EVERY WANTS TO GO BACK TO BEING A CHILD. EVENTUALLY THE EGOIC SUFFERING WILL GO ALTOGETHER, TO THE POINT THAT MANY SEEKERS ACTUALLY MISS IT AS A SOURCE OF THE FEELING OF POWER, AND RE-ADDICT THEMSELVES TO IT SO THEY STILL SUFFER A LITTLE THROUGH PARTIAL DENIAL (EG SMOKING), BUT MAKE SURE THE COMFORTS YOU CHOOSE FOR THAT ARE THE SMALL ONES, NOT YOUR WASH OUT BASIC SHIT, OR YOU LOSE TO MUCH OF THE BENEFIT. UNDERSTAND?

So, its very useful right now to understand BOTTLE ON A CHILDLIKE LEVEL, WHAT HAVING BOTTLE, THE SIMPLE, STRONG FEELING OF YOUR ENERGETIC PRESENCE ALLOWS YOU TO DO EASILY in the moment. This occurs long before you experience DIGNITY, THE NEXT LEVEL UP FROM BOTTLE, long before you can live ‘PRESENT IN YOUR PRESENCE’ THE STATE THAT ALLOWS YOU DO MAGICAL STUFF, because you have replaced the animal NEED to cycle between your FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM like an infant WITH DIGNITY. No, BOTTLE allows YOU to STICK TO WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO IN ADVANCE, FOR A PURPOSE ‘HIGHER’ THAN THE MOMENTARY INSTINCTIVE FEELING NOT TO DO IT, AT THE TIME OF TRYING. You could even say that BOTTLE allows you to TRY CONSISTENTLY BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU CANNOT – YOU HAVE NO ANCHOR TO ATTACH YOUR WILL TO, SO IT IS NEVER CONSISTENT, but having BOTTLE BECOMES A MASTER HABIT AND TRUMPS THIS WEAKNESS OF CHARACTER, BECAUSE YOU TRUST IT TO WORK, EVERYTIME.

Yes, even at A BASIC LEVEL OF BOTTLE CAN BE USED TO COMMAND YOURSELF AND OVERWHELM YOUR DESIRE TO RUN, TO GIVE UP, TO GIVE IN, TO PANIC, by simply setting your AWARENESS on your BOTTLE ON PURPOSE and commanding yourself against these instincts BECAUSE IT IS STRONG ENOUGH TO STOP FAKE YOU CONTROLLING YOU VIA YOUR FAKE INSTINCTS. Therefore the 3 most basic of all ASPECTS OF GROWING UP AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL ARE YOURS TO COMMAND – TO DELAY GRATIFICATION (STAND AGAINST DESIRE), TO PUSH YOURSELF ON WHEN YOU ARE TOO TIRED (STAND AGAINST FEAR), AND AMUSE YOURSELF WHEN THERE IS NOTHING TO REACT TO (STAND AGAINST BOREDOM). In a very real sense BOTTLE STOPS YOU BEING PARALYSED BY MOMENTARY INSTINCTS, WHICH ARE NOT YOU, BECAUSE ‘YOU’ ARE WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DECIDED TO DO, WHILST YOUR NEGATIVE REACTION TO THAT DECISION, IN THE MOMENT OF DOING IT, IS ALL FAKE BITCH YOU…

But it is NO use just thinking this, YOU MUST PUT ENERGY INTO THAT STATE, INTO YOUR BOTTLE AT THE TIME TO BE ABLE TO USE IT, RELY ON IT, otherwise you will fail, and that is the key aspect of BEING A GROWN UP YOU MUST UNDERSTAND – you must force that part at the start, to develop a ritual of GETTING UP FOR IT, WHENEVER YOU NEED TO, by simply remembering that this is how BEING AN ADULT WORKS. YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO REACT TO ANY CHALLENGE TO PREVIOUS, ADULT DECISIONS FROM THE MOMENTARY FALSE INSTINCTS OF YOUR FAKE CHILDISH SELF BY ‘BRACING YOURSELF’ WITH THE ENERGY YOU NORMALLY WASTE ON COMFORTING YOURSELF – DO YOU SEE HOW SIMPLE THIS WORKS?

Be clear – at an ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS YOUR BOTTLE IS MADE UP OF THE ENERGY YOU PUT INTO IT AT THE TIME, you will be very weak, YOUR ENERGY SCATTERED TO THE WINDS BY YOUR OVER THINKING, WHICH YOU SEE IN SOME BIZARE WAY AS ACCEPTABLE, EVEN SENSIBLE, SAFER, so your natural LEVEL OF BOTTLE will be very low, and good for nothing. And, Yes, its fine to get mad like a child at the start, as that is likely all you will have OUTSIDE OF PAIN AND SEX AS AN ENERGY SOURCE, but you must not express that ANGER, you must CONTAIN IT, TO BE ABLE TO USE IT – the act of containing it BUILDS YOUR BOTTLE, YOUR HARD SHELL OF RESISTANCE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO OPPOSE FAKE YOU’S FALSE INSTINCTS…

You will then come to see that the TENSION SIGNATURE OF BOTTLE is a form of first physical, then EMOTIONAL RESITANCE IN YOUR BODY, that does not need anger or desire, and can be manipulated by YOUR BODY POSTURE, by putting light tension in set muscle groups as a way to connect to your PRESENCE. Indeed, if you are Gifted at any meaningful level you will DISCOVER THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE THIS ‘TENSION BOTTLE’ (YOU ACTUALLY USE IT), BUT IT IS ONLY LINKED TO YOU BASIC, TO ACTING OUT THE WORST OF YOU AS IT HAS BEEN PERVERTED BY FAKE YOU TO BLEED YOU, TO KEEP YOU STUCK IN THIS SIMPLE TRAP.

You must find this aspect of TENSION IN YOURSELF and reclaim it AS A CHOICE YOU MAKE TO PUT ENERGY INTO THAT POSTURE ON PURPOSE, RATHER THAN JUST A SIDE EFFECT OF ANTICPATING YOUR CREEPY LITTLE ‘WASH OUT’ BASIC. You must LEARN TO EVOKE that tension AT WILL, to do it as a seq of steps AND USE IT ON WHAT YOU WANT WITHOUT FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM AS A TRIGGER – DON’T WASTE IT ON your tragic little BASIC, LIKE A TWAT, BUT USE IT ON ‘BEING GIFTED’, LIKE A GOD, AND BUILD IT as a very special connection to your SPIRIT, WHICH FOR MOST OF YOU WILL COME FROM YOUR SEX CENTRE… 

EASY EH? YES, ESSENTIALLY IT IS SO EASY YOU SHOULD HAVE FIGURED ALL THIS OUT BEFORE YOU WERE 10 Y/OS, SO EASY THAT I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO MENTION THE MECHANSIM OF HAVING BOTTLE AGAIN UNTIL THE END OF THIS POST. But if you want me to BOIL DOWN THE TEACHING OF THE GREATEST FOLKS WHO EVER LIVED ON THIS PLANET OVER MANY THOUSANDS OF YEARS INTO A LITTLE TIC TOK MEME, as you don’t have the smarts of a goldfish, THEN GO FOR SOMETHING LIKE ‘ARE YOU LIVING THE DREAM, OR SOME OTHER CUNTS NIGHTMARE…?’. Spoiler alert – right now its the 2nd one…

 

OK – WE START NOW…

ARE READY FOR THE REST OF THIS, CAUSE YOU NEED TO MAKE A CHOICE TO GROW UP, SO YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, which involves changing your state? So lets show you now how to CHOOSE TO DO THIS, REMEMBER TO DO THIS, even when you THINK you don’t NEED THAT STATE OF PRESENCE, OF ‘BOTTLE’ TO GET BY, you do need it IF YOU WANT TO STOP MAKING A TOTAL TWAT of yourself, and failing constantly because you think its ‘dope’, as you don’t think at all, YOU JUST REACT LIKE A CHILD…

THE GREATEST SPUR TO GROWING UP IS TO UNDERSTAND YOU ARE MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF, YOU ARE BEING CONNED INTO STAYING A CHILD. 

TO UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF YOU MUST GET SMARTER AND SEE THE ENERGY YOU WASTE ON BEING A CHILD IS THE SAME ENERGY YOU NEED TO GROW UP, AS SAVING THAT ENERGY MAKES YOU ‘WANT TO GROW UP’, IF YOU ARE GIFTED… 

THEN YOU MUST CHOOSE TO STOP MAKING A FOOL OF YOUR SELF, BECAUSE YOU NOW BOTH SEE THE CON, AND FEEL THIS WASTE IN REALITY. 

THEN YOU WILL WANT TO GROW UP, AS BEING A CHILD IS PATHETIC – THE MORE ENERGY YOU HAVE, THE MORE YOU WANT TO GROW UP – INDEED IT IS THE EASY WAY TO GROW UP, BECAUSE IT WILL THEN BE FORCED ON YOU BY YOUR CONSCIENCE LIKE ITS SUPPOSED TO WORK…

IN THIS SIMPLE WAY YOU WILL UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOT HAVING FUN AS A CHILD, INDEED FUN AT ANY MEANINGFUL LEVEL ONLY EXISTS FOR ADULTS – YOU WILL START TO UNDERSTAND YOUR FUN IS NOT FUN, YOUR BASIC IS A MOMENTARY CURE FOR ANXIETY, WHICH THEN MAKES IT WORSE NEXT TIME.

REMEMBER THIS – THE COMFORTS OF AN ANIMAL ARE USED TO KEEP YOU WEAK AND STUPID, SO YOU WANT TO STAY WEAK AND STUPID BECAUSE THE ACT OF DOING IT BECOMES A COPING MECHANSIM, THAT IS WHY YOU ARE STUCK AS A GUTLESS CHILD, IT IS HOW YOU COPE WITH ‘EMAIL’.

IN THIS WAY YOU WILL START TO SEE THAT THE KNOWLEDGE OF AN ADULT IS VASTLY SUPERIOR TO THE TRITE CLEVERNESS OF A CHILD, AND YOU WILL START TO BOTH HATE AND FEAR THE FALSE, INSTINCTIVE CLEVERNESS OF FAKE YOU, YOUR CHARACTER OF ‘NO CHARACTER’.

BUT YOU MUST ‘GET UP’ FOR THIS AT THE START, FORCE YOUR SELF TO PUT YOUR ENERGY INTO THE PROCESS, GROWING UP IS NOT PASSIVE, YOU MUST FORCE YOURSELF TO DO IT BY APPLYING THE ENERGY THAT COMES FROM ‘TRYING’, UNTIL YOU BREAK THROUGH YOUR CHILDISH CONFUSION.

GET THIS – TO CHANGE IN EVEN THIS MOST BASIC OF WAYS YOU MUST PUT LARGE AMOUNTS OF ENERGY INTO THE PROCESS, YOU CAN NOT DO IT LIKE YOU DO EVERYTHING ELSE, PASSIVE AND DISINTERESTED, SO YOU MUST FIND IT EXCITING, EVEN EROTIC FOR IT TO WORK FAST.

YES, YOU MUST START TO EXPLORE THE ‘VISCERAL COMFORTS OF ELITISM’ IN ORDER TO ENJOY OVERPOWERING YOUR FAKE BITCH SELF, YOU MUST START TO GET A THRILL OUT OF IT, OUT OF BEING BETTER THAN THAT USELESS LAZY TWAT THAT IS YOUR INNER CHILD.

SO YOU MUST BREAK THE HABIT OF DOING STUFF LIKE YOU DON’T WANT TO DO IT, BECAUSE YOUR FAKE SELF CALLS ANY CHANGE BORING OR HARD – YOU ARE ENGAGING IN THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE, SEE THAT WAY, DON’T LET FAKE YOU RUIN IT FOR YOU WITH FAKE FEELINGS!

ALL ADULT BOTTLE TO STAND AGAINST YOURSELF COMES FROM NEEDING THAT BOTTLE TO DO SOMETHING EXTERNAL, AND THEN LEARNING TO USE THAT BOTTLE MORE AND MORE IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE, EVEN IF YOU DON’T NEED THAT BOTTLE TO LIVE, DO IT ANYWAY, AS AN EXERCISE IN ELITISM!

IN MY EXPERIENCE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU HAVE A CHANCE OF GROWING YOUR SELF UP PAST YOUR EARLY 30S – TO FORCE YOURSELF TO CHANGE TO THE ADULT MODE BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO PUT YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY FOR THE ‘HELL OF IT’, AGAINST YOUR FALSE INSTINCTS.    

Yes, Growing Up is both a CHOICE and a PROCESS of ENERGY WORK – I WILL REPEAT THIS OFTEN BUT TRY TO REMEMBER THIS, AS IT IS THE KEY TO RAPID PROGRESS – YOU MUST MAKE SPARE ENERGY TO EVEN ‘WANT TO GROW UP’, THAT IS THE FIRST TRICK TO IT, TO WANT ‘MORE THAN THIS’ STUPID LITTLE LIFE OF SLAVERY, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT TO HAVE SPARE ENERGY FEELS LIKE, when someone like me TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO WITH IT. Without this spare energy you must be forced to GROW UP AGAINST YOUR CHILDISH WILL LIKE A SOLDIER, or to be prepared to ‘HARD SHOCK’ YOURSELF INTO IT LIKE A ZENMAN, much as that is also the most common way of ACCIDENTALLY growing up via ABUSING YOUR ‘BASIC’.

So I need to show you what this is, I need to do something your parents should of done decades ago – FORCE YOU TO ‘WANT TO’ GROW UP, VIA THIS REMOTE LEARNING APPROACH – I NEED TO GET YOU TO WANT TO GROW UP because it is BETTER THAN FAKE YOU, which means the approach taken has to be very specific. In person I could do this too you in a few hours, BUT OVER THE PHONE THIS STUFF IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT – I HAVE TO GET YOUR EXISTING CHARACTER, THAT DOES NOT WANT TO GROW UP, TO UNDERSTAND WHAT GROWING UP IS ENOUGH TO ‘TRY IT’, THEN YOU CAN START TO WANT IT, MORE AND MORE, because you fucking HATE WHAT YOU WERE BEFORE…

See, YOUR ‘FAKE YOU’ NEEDS TO RELATE ‘POSITIVELY’ TO THIS TODAY, TO GROWING UP, so we have to ‘sex it up’ a bit – THIS IS NOT AN ADDITION TO THE OLD WAY, THIS IS A QUESTION OF EMPHASIS ON SOME STUFF AT THE EXPENSE OTHER BITS YOU WILL FIND ‘DUSTY’, much as they are still there – THE HEART OF GROWING UP, THE ‘BASELINE’ IS THE SAME AS PART 4 OF RADICAL CHANGE = DIGNITY. But you are way to fucking slow to get that yet, so we have to get you UP TO SPEED, INDEED YOU NEED TO LEARN WHAT ‘GODS SPEED’ ACTUALLY MEANS – TO BE BADASS CAUSE THAT IS INFINITELY SUPERIOR TO YOUR SADASS…

How do we DO this for YOU? EASY – WE MAKE YOU SMARTER:

TODAY YOU NEED TO OPEN YOU MIND ‘TO’ GET SMARTER, BY GETTING MUCH QUICKER AT ‘SEEING’ STUFF, RICH, IMPORTANT INFORMATION OTHERWISE LOST IN ‘LAYERS OF COMPLEXITY’, SO YOU DON’T SPEND YOUR MENTAL LIFE ‘LOST AND CONFUSED’ WHILE FAKE YOU RUINS YOUR REAL LIFE.

YOU PROBABLY DON’T HAVE THE PATTERN YOU NEED FOR THIS, AND IF YOU DO YOU MOST LIKELY USE IT FOR LITTLE MORE THAN THE CHATTY INNUENDO OF MODERN HOOK-UP CULTURE, BUT EVEN THAT LEVEL IS BETTER THAN NOTHING – AT LEAST YOU SEE THAT ‘FAST’.

SO YOU NEED TO START TO ‘SEE’ MANY OTHER THINGS ‘THAT FAST’, AS THAT IS THE WAY TO ESCAPE BEING ‘LOST IN THE CONFUSION’ OF THE ANIMAL LEVEL – FAKE YOU’S PRIMARY JOB IS TO KEEP YOU IN A TINY MENTAL CELL, LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT OF THE ‘MANSION’ OF YOUR ‘GIFTED MIND’.

THIS ANIMAL LEVEL OF FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM KEEPS YOU TRAPPED IN A TINY RANGE OF MENTAL POSSIBILITIES, A TINY SCALE OF MENTAL VISIBILITY, AS FAKE YOU RELYS ON THIS TO HIDE THE TRUTH – YOU DON’T ‘SEE’ WHAT IS HAPPENING MENTALLY, YOU ARE ‘BLINDED’ BY MOOD BASED CONFUSION.

BUT THE KEY REASON YOU NEED THIS INCREASED SPEED OF COGNITION TODAY IS TO BETTER DEFEND YOURSELF AGAINST FAKE YOU, TO TRULY UNDERSTAND THE WONDERFUL PHRASE THAT, IN THE END, ALL GIFTED PEOPLE FALL INTO 2 TYPES ONLY – THE ‘QUICK AND THE DEAD’.

DON’T WORRY, IF YOU ARE GIFTED YOU WERE BORN FAST, YOU ARE NATURALLY ‘QUICK-WITTED’, SO THAT SPEED OF THOUGHT IS ONE OF THE VERY BEST TESTS FOR GIFTED POTENTIAL – TO WATCH THE MICRO EXPRESSIONS DANCE ACROSS THE FACE OF A STRANGER IS A JOY FOR A TEACHER.

PERSONALY, I LOVE IT AND USE IT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE ITS SO ACCURATE – SEE IN THE GIFTED THOSE EXPRESSIONS COME IN LARGE CONTRADICTORY ‘CLUSTERS’ WITH WAVES OF EMOTION, RATHER THAN THE PLODDING, GERIATRIC ‘PULSE OF FALSE INSTINCT’, ALL THAT ANIMALS CAN THINK.

SEE TODAY YOU MUST CHANGE FROM MERELY ‘THINKING ABOUT THIS STUFF AS A HOBBY’ AND START DOING IT, ALL THE TIME, WHENEVER THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO THINK DIFFERENTLY IN EVERYDAY THINGS, WHEN YOU CAN REMEMBER TO THINK DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE IT HELPS YOU.

SO TODAY ‘DOING THIS PATH’ MUST START TO HELP YOU IN ‘THE NOW’, SO YOUR LIFE RESULTS ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ BEFORE.

WE STARTED TO LINK THIS TO YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE IN PART 3.5, NOW WE GO THE NEXT STEP – WE MAKE YOU SMARTER…

See, it’s a good idea not to get LOST IN THE HARDNESS OF ‘DOING’ THIS PATH, SOME FRUSTRATION WITH IT, which you may have read about elsewhere taking decades – THAT IS ONLY TRUE FOR ‘ANIMALS IN A MOOD’. YOU are GIFTED, you were born with the power to do this, ANIMALS ARE NOT – YOUR ANCESTORS DID THIS FOR YOU, VIA SOME EXTREME EXPERIENCE THEY SURVIVED LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY. Be grateful for that, AS THAT MEANS THIS NEXT BIT IS EASY FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE A ‘REAL YOU’,  a gift TO DO IT FOR YOU, IF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO TAKE THEIR ADVICE AND ‘SEE WHAT IS RIGHT’ FOR YOU IN AMONGST THE COMPLEXITY. Yes, GIFTED ARE ALWAYS WAY SMARTER THAN THEY THINK, it’s the animal level you live at that is the STOOOPID…

Know you would not see anything at all IN THIS COMPLEXITY TODAY if you did not recognize A SHAPE IN IT, A PATTERN OF TRUTH from your REAL self projected ‘through’ those layers, actually made up of those layers, would you. To see anything REAL as a PATTERN IN OTHERWISE ‘RANDOM’ LAYERS OF COMPLEXITY YOU HAVE NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE OF MEANS THAT SOMETHING ELSE IN YOU IS GIVING YOU THAT PATTERN. You must start to look for this stuff now, to look for the unexpected rather than the expected, SO YOU CAN GET MUCH FASTER, and start to reverse the colossal dumbing down your little herd has done to you. This will make you BIGGER, big enough to fight Fake You in the moment of its challenge to your authority, AS RIGHT NOW FAKE YOU IS STILL BIGGER THAN YOU ARE…

‘THE GENIUS’ OF REAL YOU IS TRYING TO HELP YOU ALL THE TIME, BUT YOU IGNORE IT AND DEFER TO YOUR FAKE CHARACTER INSTEAD. 

YOUR FAKE YOU IS TRIVIAL, ALWAYS REACTING IN THE MOMENT OF TRIVIALITY, SO YOU ARE TRIVIAL, SMALL AND SCATTERED BECAUSE YOU LIVE ‘IN FEAR’, YOUR CONSTANT COMPANION IS YOUR ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’.

REAL YOU WILL HELP YOU SEE ALL YOUR FEARS AS SMALL, MOMENTARY, UNIMPORTANT AND UNLIKELY AS A TRANSITION, SO YOU CAN STAND AGAINST THEM AND BENEFIT FROM ACCEPTING THEM AS PART OF BEING YOU, SO YOUR LIFE RESULTS BENEFIT FROM THIS POWER YOU USED TO WASTE.

THE REASON IT WAS WASTED IS THAT YOU ALWAYS RESISTED YOUR FEARS, TRIED TO FIX THEM OR REMOVE THEM, SO THEY GOT STRONGER AND BIGGER, WITH EACH EGOIC REACTION, SO EVEN OPENING EMAIL IS NOW SCARY, BECAUSE FAKE YOU HAS MADE IT SCARY. 

SO I MUST HELP YOU OPEN A CHANNEL TO REAL YOU SO IT CAN REACH AND HELP YOU TO MAKE YOU ‘BIGGER’ THAN ‘YOUR MOMENTARY FEARS’ BY USING YOUR FEARS IN THE MOMENT OF HAVING THEM, BY GOING AGAINST THEM UNTIL THEY DISAPPEAR BECAUSE YOU ARE ‘BIGGER THAN THEM’.

YES – FEAR IS NOT ONLY A GOOD THING, IT IS ALSO THE EASIEST WAY TO DO THIS, BECAUSE OVERCOMING YOUR MOMENTARY FEAR BUILDS YOUR COURAGE IN A VERY SPECIFIC WAY, IT BUILDS YOUR ‘BOTTLE’, YOUR ‘HARD SHELL’ THAT IS THE ROOT OF YOUR POSITIVE SELF CONSCIOUSNESS.

SEE YOU MUST LEARN TO GET OUT OF THE MOMENT, WHERE FAKE YOU ‘LIVES’, BY MAKING THOSE MOMENTS MUCH SMALLER AND QUICKER SO YOU CAN DEVALUE THEM AND IGNORE YOUR REACTIONS TO THEM, WHILST SIMPLY MOVING ON TO THE SAME GOAL BEFORE THAT MOMENT ‘HAPPENED’.

THIS DEVALUING OF THE IMPORTANCE, THE URGENCY, THE RELEVANCE OF YOUR MOMENTS IS THE KEY ASPECTS OF BREAKING YOUR STATE OF IDENTIFICATION WITH FAKE YOU, WITH THE WORLD, AND IS THE USE FIRST USE OF THE POWER YOU WILL DEVELOP TODAY.

YES, YOU MUST START TO DEVALUE THE WORLD WITH ALL ITS TRIVIAL MOMENTS, ALL ITS POTENTIAL TO BRANCH OFF AFTER THIS EGOIC REACTIONS OR THAT ONE, SO IN THE WORDS OF RDJr you must LEARN TO ‘FUCK YOUR SMALL TIME FEARS’, WHILST BEING ‘POLITE’ ABOUT IT, SO:

‘LISTEN, SMILE, AGREE, THEN JUST DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WERE GOING TO DO ANYWAY..’.

THIS IS NOT BEING DECIETFUL, THIS IS HOW YOU LEARN TO SLOWLY ‘UNOBLIGATE’ YOURSELF FROM THE EGOIC FEARS THAT CONTROL YOU TOTALLY LIKE A PUPPET IN THE MOMENT, WHATEVER YOU MAKE UP AFTERWARDS, YOU MUST START TO ‘STOP GIVING A DAMN’ ABOUT YOUR MOMENTS, ‘POLITELY’.

YES, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THE POINT OF POLITENESS IS TO CONCEAL NOT GIVING A FUCK, OUT OF ‘SUPERIORITY OF CHARACTER’ – YOU HAVE BEEN DOING POLITE WRONG FOR FUCKING YEARS, ARISTOS ‘GENTILE’ POLITENESS IS ACTUALLY ‘BADASS’ – WHY IT IS SO POPULAR WITH GANGSTERS.

LIKE SO MANY WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IT HAS COME TO MEAN ITS ‘EFFECT’, EG KINDNESS, BUT ITS ORIGINAL MEANING IS ILLUSTRATING YOUR ADVANCED LEVEL OF CHARACTER, YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, AS YOU MUST TAKE A ‘MOMENT OF SELF CONSCIOUSNESS’ TO ‘BE’ POLITE.

START TO GET USED TO THESE WORDS NOW, THE ORIGINAL MANNERS OF FREEMASONRY BEING ABOUT A BETTER LEVEL OF CHARACTER, AS YOU WILL FIND IT MUCH EASIER TO ACCEPT THEM AS A ‘GENTILE’, WHICH DOES NOT MEAN ‘GENTLE’, IT MEANS THE NEXT LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS UP FROM YOU.

THEN ONE DAY, IN THE FUTURE, YOU WILL FIND YOUR NEED TO REACT TO YOUR MOMENTS WILL BE TOTALLY GONE, AND YOUR MOMENTS WILL BE EITHER USEFUL OR USELESS TO WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY DECIDED TO DO…

BUT ONE DAY BEFORE THEN, YOU WILL RELATE TO ‘WHY’ THE ODDS ‘SEEM’ AGAINST YOU, BECAUSE YOU NEED THE FEAR OF THOSE ODDS IN ORDER TO PAY FOR YOUR DEVELOPMENT BY OVERCOMING THOSE FEARS, THAT IS THE POINT OF THEM…

YES, THIS MAY NOT BE SPIRITUALITY FOR GANGSTERS 101, BUT IT IS USEFUL TO KNOW THAT ALL DEVELOPMENT IN THE RAW, WITHOUT ‘THE COMFORTS OF RELIGION’, IS ACTUALLY PRETTY BADASS, BECAUSE IT IS NOT FOR PUSSIES – ITS FOR HEDONISTS!

REAL YOU WILL HELP YOU DO THIS BY HELPING YOU SEE WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DOING IN THE MOMENT IN THE ‘CONTEXT OF WHAT YOU WANT’ LONGER TERM, AGAINST YOUR GOALS, RATHER THAN YOUR TRIVIAL ‘REACTION TO THE MOMENT’ CONTROLLED BY YOUR FAKE PATTERNS. REMEMBER YOUR FAKE CHARACTER DOES NOT EXIST AS AN ENTITY, IT IS SIMPLY A COLLECTION OF MOOD BASED PATTERN REACTIONS THAT PROVIDE THE ILLUSION OF CHARACTER, BUT YOU CAN’T STOP HAVING ‘ANY MOMENTS’, IN ORDER TO DESTROY THESE PATTERNS LIKE ZEN FOLK DO. YOU MUST DO THIS THE ARISTOCRATIC WAY, THE ‘WAY OF THE WEST’…

SO NOW UNDERSTAND ‘THE MASTER KEY’ TO THIS – UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ‘BIGGER YOU’ IS A DIFFERENT, BIGGER ‘MOOD’. Some Gifted who have managed to cling onto some small aspect of this since childhood call it LOVE, or their MOJO, BUZZ, JOY, PEACE, et al but in truth it is all of those things and none of them – IT IS HIGHLY PERSONAL TO YOUR GIFT, AND THE FRONT END IS ALWAYS JUST A TINY PART OF IT FROM YOUR REAL YOU. Beneath this introduction, you will find that this MOOD IS SELF-POSSESSION – the MOOD OF POWER that comes from having CONTROL OVER YOURSELF IN THE NOW, the anti FAKE YOU mood of no longer being victim, of HAVING ZERO FUCKS TO GIVE… 

YOU MUST ‘PROACTIVELY’ CHANGE FROM THE FLAKEY MOODS OF FAKE YOU, TO ‘THE MOOD’ OF REAL YOU – THEN YOU WILL GET BIGGER CONSCIOUSLY, SO YOU WILL GET SMARTER, AS YOU WILL ABLE TO SEE ‘PAST THIS MOMENT’, LOOK ‘DOWN ON IT’.

THIS NEW MOOD IS NOT NEW AT ALL, IT IS YOUR NATURAL GIFTED MOOD, BUT IT HAS BEEN CORRUPTED BY FAKE YOU, WHO HAS LOWERED YOUR NATURAL MOOD TO THE FEAR-BASED ABERATION OF AN ANIMAL, VIA FAKE PATTERNS OF ‘EGO SAFETY’.

SO TODAY YOU NEED TO FIND ‘THE MOOD MUSIC’ OF ‘YOUR’ REAL YOU, SO YOU CAN LIVE IN THE BIG PICTURE OF YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’, YOUR POINT, YOUR STYLE, YOUR PURPOSE ON THIS PLANET, INSTEAD OF YOUR TRIVIAL, USELESS CHARACTER.

YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW WHAT THIS ‘MUSIC OF YOUR SPIRIT’ IS, IT IS HIGHLY PERSONAL AND RELATED TO YOUR TYPE OF GIFT, BUT IT IS ALWAYS ‘WHERE’ YOU ‘BETTER THAN’, YOUR ‘SUPERIORITY’ TO ALL OTHER FAKE THINGS ‘LIVES’, BY MAKING YOU FEEL THIS SUPERIORITY.

SEE… THAT ‘SPIRITUALLY SUPERIOR FEELING’ IS HOW ‘YOU’ FIND ‘YOU’, AND IT ALWAYS FEELS LIKE THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF THE ‘FEAR FROM FAKE YOU’, THE INCONSISTENT NOTHINGNESS OF AN ANIMAL AT THE START, SO YOU FEEL ‘BETTER THAN’ BEFORE, ‘HIGHER THAN’.

REMEMBER THIS – A LONG TIME AGO AS A GIFTED CHILD YOU LIVED IN THIS FEELING, YOU WERE ‘OPEN’ TO YOUR EMOTIONAL LIFE EVERY SEC OF EVERY DAY AS A SENSE OF WONDER, BEFORE SOMETHING HURT YOU, SO YOU BUILT A FAKE SET OF EGOIC PATTERNS TO PROTECT YOURSELF.

THOSE PATTERNS ARE WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR CHARACTER, BUT THEY ARE FAKE, REACTIVE INVENTIONS, YOUR REAL CHARACTER, YOUR PREFERENCES ARE ‘STILL’ IN THE OPENNESS OF YOUR CHILDHOOD, AS THAT WAS REAL YOU…

TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK FOR THAT ‘MOOD MUSIC’ OF OPENNESS, RATHER THAN TENSION, VERY PRIVATELY, WHILST DITCHING YOUR FAKE CHARACTER AND SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH THE PATTERNS OF THE GIFTED ARISTOCRAT INSTEAD.

SO IT IS IMPORTANT TO RELATE TO THIS NOW – 

YOU MUST START TO ‘LIVE’ AGAIN BY ‘FEELING ALIVE’, RATHER THAN JUST ‘THINK LIFE’, OR ‘REACT TO LIFE’, YOU MUST LET ‘LIFE TALK TO YOU’ AGAIN, AS YOU MUST START TO BE GENEROUS WITH YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY, WHILST BEING GUARDED WITH YOUR SPEECH, THOUGHTS AND MOVEMENTS.

ON THE ARISTOS PATH THIS IS THE TRUE MEANING OF THE WORD ‘DIGNITY’, SO GET USED TO IT…

THE ‘MOOD OF SPIRITUAL DIGNITY’ = CONSCIOUS ‘LEVEL OF THE SELF POSSESSED’

BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY – DIGNITY CAN DEFEND ITSELF – DIGNITY IS SMARTER.

BE CLEAR – YOUR MOOD MUSIC IS NOT A DRUG, MUCH AS IT WILL FEEL LIKE ‘BETTER THAN’ AS A BASELINE, AND YOU MAY EVEN CURRENTLY CHASE IT VIA DRUGS AS YOU ‘KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO’, BUT YOU MUST FIND IT FOR REAL, SO IT NEVER LEAVES YOU. WHEN YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR TUNE, YOUR BUZZ, YOU CAN LEARN TO ‘DANCE TO IT’, SO IT ‘RESONATES’ IN YOU, AND MAKE IT LOUDER AND LOUDER, RECREATING YOUR LIFE THROUGH FEELING IT, AND DO WHAT ‘YOU WISH’ WITH YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR LOOK, YOUR ATTITUDES WITHIN THE FRAMEWORK OF THE ARISTOS.

SEE TODAY YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO GET ‘HIGH ON LIFE’, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW ‘BALANCING’ YOUR REAL YOU FEELS, THAT IS HOW AN ‘ARISTOCRAT LIVES’ – LIFE AS A BALANCING ACT, WITHOUT YOUR CURRENT WASTEFUL ‘EXTREMES’ DRIVEN BY THE TRIVIAL MOOD SWINGS OF YOUR FAKE CHARACTER.

Wanna know the quickest way to do this, the MOST infamous ARISTOS SHORT CUT OF THEM ALL? 

THE EASIEST WAY TO START THIS CONSISTENT MOOD IS TO ADOPT AN EXTREMELY HIGH VALUATION OF YOURSELF IN PRIVATE, MUCH AS THIS IS NOT ESSENTIAL IT CAN BE MUCH FASTER AS IT GIVES YOU A PLACE ‘TO START’ TO FIND THIS NEW, CONSISTENT MOOD OF ‘YOU THE ARISTOS’. 

THIS MOOD IS USUALLY BASED ON SOME PERSONAL WOW FACTOR OR SKILL YOU WERE BORN WITH AND HAVE DEVELOPED AS YOUR ‘BEST QUALITY’, IN TERMS OF ITS EXTERNAL VALIDATION, SO YOU ALREADY USE IT TO COMFORT YOURSELF PRIVATELY, AGAINST FAKE YOU’S VOLATILE MOOD SWINGS.

MANY MID TO HIGHLY GIFTED DO THIS NATURALLY, INDEED IT IS A HAVEN, A HIDEOUT FROM ‘THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF THE OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE’ OF THEIR CURRENT ‘MOMENTARY LIFE’, WHICH IS A REALLY GOOD SIGN THAT THIS PATH IS FOR YOU, AS YOU ARE ALREADY ‘ON IT’.

MANY OF YOUR REAL YOUS HAVE ALREADY LATCHED ONTO THIS WOW FACTOR, AND ALREADY USE IT TO HELP YOU, TO EVEN SHOW YOU WHAT TO DO BY LETTING YOU KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS MOMENT, BY USING IT AS A DEVICE TO ‘MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER THAN’ THIS MOMENT.

SEE FOR SOME OF YOU THAT WOW FACTOR IS A DIRECT CONNECTION TO THE GIFT OF YOUR ANCESTORS, TO WHAT THEY HAD OR DID IN TERMS OF ITS ‘HIGHER QUALITY’, SO IT IS MUCH EASIER FOR YOUR REAL YOU TO REACH YOU THROUGH THIS, AND PUT YOU IN THE MOOD OF YOUR ‘PERSONAL GIFT’.

HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT TO BUY INTO THIS BIT, KNOW THAT IF YOU HAVE NO OR A LOW VALUATION OF YOURSELF (ACTUALLY VERY RARE IN SPIRITED GIFTED TYPES BUT VERY COMMON FOR ANIMALS) THEN YOU WILL BE MUCH MORE ‘VUNERABLE’ TO MOMENTARY CONFUSION, AS YOU HAVE NO ‘ANCHOR’ TO HOLD YOU STEADY AT THE START, NO FEELING TO BUILD YOUR BETTER THAN UP FROM THAT YOU ALREADY USE.

SO DON’T UNDER ESTIMATE THE POWER OF THIS SIMPLE TRICK, FOR MANY OF YOU IT’S NOT A TRICK AT ALL, IT IS REAL YOU CONNECTING YOU BACK ACROSS TIME AND SPACE TO YOUR GIFTED ANCESTORS, AND IS ‘THE BEST THING’ ABOUT YOU, FOR REAL…   

Spooky eh? And all this time you just thought you had ‘good hair’ by genetic animal chance, whilst in reality that feature is a byproduct of something else much more valuable. So you might want to start to pay attention to your ‘eyes’, also, as most GIFTED STRUGGLE TO LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THEM, so avoid it after childhood…

Now, please get WHY I AM INTRODUCING THIS SUPERNATURAL ASPECT into a post about a ‘GROWING UP’, a set of routines, so take a moment now to GRASP THIS – YOUR REAL YOU, YOUR GIFT AS A TYPE HAS A PREFERRED FORM OF DEVELOPMENT, USUALLY AN EXISTING 4TH WAY ‘TRADITION’ THAT WORKS THE BEST FOR IT. To force your gift into a different tradition is a MISTAKE, which can be very costly in terms of ‘time’, SO IT IS A REALLY GOOD IDEA TO START TO SEE WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU, IN AMONGST THE MUCH WIDER SPREAD OF METHODS I USE THAN MOST OTHERS, WHO STICK TO JUST ONE TRADITION, OFTEN BELIEVING IT IS THE ONLY ONE THAT WORKS, like a well-meaning fool. There IS no 1 PROCESS as a set of methods, there are literally hundreds, most of which are too dry and dusty to understand for modern folks, HENCE WHY I AM GIVING THIS RANGE OF STUFF.

I want you to PROGRESS FAST, so I know you need to use what is perfect for YOUR GIFT or as near as, so everything up to this point has been generic, given you are a GIFTED HEDONIST, which is in itself a BROAD TYPE AS A ‘FAMILY OF TYPES’, and even this does not suit all possible GIFTED cases, eg people who become GIFTED via organized Western religion DON’T DO WELL WITH THIS METHOD. I know many Western GIFTED who have wasted decades of their lives on East Asian methods believing they are generic, BUT THEY ARE NOT. Much as Zen took me a long way, and I often return to it even now, I KNOW IT IS NOT THE PREFFERED METHOD OF MY GIFT, and hence many years at the start of my development were wasted, LOST IN THE CONFUSION OF WHAT I KNEW WAS RIGHT BUT WHAT SIMPLY DID NOT WORK FAST ENOUGH TO GET ME PASSED MY MENTAL BLOCKS – THE MOOD MUSIC OF ZEN IS NOT QUITE RIGHT FOR ME, FOR MY GIFT, SO ‘IT CLASHED’.

But worse than this, if you are GIFTED on both sides of your family, if you have a ‘competing GIFT’ as I do, you will find that even when you find something that works you can bounce back and forth between other stuff, PARTICULARLY IF YOU ARE MIXED RACE/MIXED CULTURE, as those GIFTs can be VERY different, BUT COMBINED CAN BECOME VERY POWERFUL FORCE AGAINST FAKE YOU. You must REALLY LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOUR REAL SELF BEFORE ‘PICKING A SIDE’, so BE CLEAR – to know what is right for you is a massive speed up, even at the beginning when it is usually just a little tweak in a generic method, AS IT STRENGTHENS YOU TO THE POINT YOU WILL FEEL THIS NEW ‘STRENGTH OF PURPOSE’ AS AN EMOTION, as something different you have not felt before, LIKE ‘YOUR GOD IS WALKING WITH YOU’, or for the none religiously educated as a ‘positive presence’, THAT MAKES YOU CONFIDENT. Nothing I can do remotely WILL MAKE YOU AS SMART AS THIS WILL, but I can start to feed you the TRUE complexity of this path so Real You can try and ‘pick the bones out of it’ TO HELP YOU…

Do you understand this? Today I can’t tell you what the ideal method is for you BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW YOUR TYPE, and even the generic stuff I am giving you will only work quickly for the classic Western Gifts, the folks who have a Mediterranean, Scandinavian, Celtic or Near Eastern style Gift. These Gifts I know well to the point of slight boredom with them, so even if you are one of the more ancient Scots, Irish or Northern English whose ancestors escaped the cultural invasions of the last 2,500 years, simply because you had fuck all worth taking, you are still well catered for in my methods, in what I will tell you today. However, if your Gift originated in one of those ‘Lands of the Gods’, in that closed region of the Northern Indian/Pakistani Subcontinent, of the wastelands of the Middle East, in that dark corner of Southeast Asia, in that band of deepest jungle in central Africa, the deserted heartlands of the Russian Steppe or, God Forbid, one of those 4 archaic Indonesian Islands, Tibet or the high Andes that have never stopped following their (very) dark Shamanic practices, then YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THE ADVICE OF REAL YOU.

But, and it’s a big ass fuck of a BUT, I CAN GET YOU ‘IN THE ROOM’ TODAY,  I CAN PUT ENOUGH TRUTH IN YOUR WAY SO AS TO MAKE IT EASY FOR YOUR REAL YOU TO ‘REACH YOU’, start to guide you, start to set your preferences, your interests, your TASTE IN WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU – you must try and find what ‘agrees with you’ FROM A NEW LEVEL OF LAYERED COMPLEXITY I WILL INTRODUCE TO YOU TODAY, as from now on YOU MUST MAKE THAT CHOICE OF RIGHT OR WRONG, NOT ME, NOT ANYONE ELSE. Yes, you must STILL follow the basic method I GIVE YOU, BUT YOU MUST START TO SEE WHAT THAT MEANS FOR YOU, YOU MUST REFINE IT TO SUIT YOURSELF, so it is MORE EFFECTIVE, SO IT WORKS FASTER, AND FASTER, AS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY MANY OF YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO BREAK FAKE YOU AT THE START WITHOUT ANY LENGHTY, MAJOR ‘WARS’…

Therefore embrace this ‘Complexity’ today, go looking for it, LOOK FOR WHAT INTERESTS YOU IN THIS NEW ‘BIG PICTURE’ STUFF, look for what YOUR ‘HEROES JOURNEY’ IS MEANT TO BE ABOUT. See, for all of those lost in the Gen Z culture of the formulaic ‘Marvel Universe’ YOUR HEROES JOURNEY IS ‘JUST’ THE PATH TO BECOMING ‘BETTER THAN’, becoming THE HERO IN YOU, it is not what you do when you get there, which is no ones business but your own. But to get there, TO LIVE IN THAT UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY THAT IS REAL YOU, I have to get you past this first tiny little step of BREAKING YOUR SLAVERY TO THE INTENSE MEDIOCRITY OF FAKE YOU, so you can stop merely EXISTING, and start to LIVE. See right now as a slave controlled by animal fear all you want to do is COMFORTUABLY EXIST A LITTLE BIT LONGER, as that is, in truth, ALL your happiness, BECAUSE OUTSIDE OF THE MOMENTS OF YOUR HEDONISM, WHEN YOU BRIEFLY ‘LOSE YOUR FAKE SELF’, THAT IS ALL YOUR LIFE IS, ALL IT CAN EVER BE FOR A FAKE ANIMAL. But you are GIFTED….

See this NOW – know that right now you are simply BAMBI TRYING TO ICE SKATE, you are trying to find your feet in a new world you do not even know exists because YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP TO BE LITTLE MORE THAN AN ORGANIC ROBOT. There is a vast new world of CONSCIOUSNESS WAITING FOR YOU IF YOU PERSIST PAST THE MINOR TROUBLE OF BREAKING YOUR FAKE YOU BY STOPPING YOUR FAKE BASIC, the greatest loss of your GIFT that your Fake Self has made seem so bloody cool, but in reality you don’t even like. So if you find yourself stuck some repetitive challenge, that you perhaps both love and hate, do remind yourself, no matter how sweet you wish to be, their victory is your defeat, their happiness is your humiliation, their benefit is your loss, their… well I’m sure you get the picture, SO DO THE MATH, YOU ARE PAYING FOR SOMETHING YOU ALREADY OWN, you’re JUST TOO STOOOPID TO SEE IT, SO YOU JUST GO ON WITH YOUR PETTY OBLIGATIONS INSTEAD – ahh the comfort of being an ‘anonymous nothing’, WHILST WAITING FOR THE TRUTH…

And the truth is SIMPLE – You have no idea what is waiting for you ON THE OTHER SHORE, so you are SHY, SO LETS TRY AND BUILD YOUR ANTICIPATION OF WHAT IT MIGHT BE BASED ON THESE BIG PICTURE REVEALS TODAY, because it is not what you think it is, some BUDDHIST Nirvana or Bliss State, IT IS A MUCH BETTER VERSION OF WHAT YOUR CURRENTLY CHASE. Trust me, it will be a damn site more FUN than living like some middle-aged ‘CHUBBY’ clapping along at the back with a glass of someone else’s cheap wine whilst SEEKING TO HUMILIATE OTHERS AS THEIR ONE REMAINING NARCISSISTIC PLEASURE = ‘TERMINAL’ PARASITE. In the end no amount of ‘PR’ will fix that shit, CAUSE EVERYONE HATES A FAKE, GUTLESS TWAT, EVEN THE OTHER ANIMALS CAN ‘SMELL’ IT ON THEM. So how do we move you ON from this LITTLE SHIT SHOW, FAST..?

First we will break with TRADITION and tell you the POINT OF THIS METHOD, so you can be prepared for the BEST YOUR FAKE ANTI-HERO HAS GOT, so you can see that FIGHT BACK COMING, AND KNOW WHAT IT IS WHEN IT HAPPENS. See TODAY I need to make you cleverer, so you UNDERSTAND MUCH MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC, otherwise you will not be able to DEFEND YOURSELF, AND ALL OF THIS WILL BE FOR NOTHING. Today you MUST LOOK UP ABOVE IT AND START TO SEE ‘THE BIG PICTURE’, start to see that this is just the INTRODUCTION TO SPIRITUALITY, just ‘ESCAPING’ THE PRISON YOU LIVE IN, and is frankly a TINY fraction of what it about. See, this first little bit is really simple, really easy, and really quick IF YOU CAN SEE IT IN RELATION TO THE REST OF IT, see it as the ‘start’ of a much LARGER SCALE PROCESS, rather than be dominated by the master pattern of Ego Defense your Fake YOU relies on – to engage in anything new like its shit, wrong, bad, SO IF YOU FAIL ITS ‘NOT YOUR FAULT’, which obviously makes it almost impossible for you to ‘win’, AS YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO FAIL.

Then, I need to give you some DIRECTION, now, give you a compass you can use to check if YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK as a form of defense AGAINST FAKE YOU, as a FORM OF RE-ASSURANCE. See BEING ‘OPEN MINDED’ MEANS SOMETHING MORE than just pretending to be slightly more LIBERALLY MINDED for an hour or 2, IT MEANS STARTING TO SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE OF SPIRITUALITY, beyond the goals of this specific method, AS THAT WILL GIVE YOU ‘DIRECTION’, which will become VERY IMPORTANT, once you have escaped the ‘CAGE OF SLAVERY TO DELUSION’ you currently live in. But given the weakness of modern people, the lack of moral fiber, I HAVE FOUND IT VERY USEFUL TO LINK SEVERAL FUTURE TOPICS TO THE ‘NOW’ OF THE METHOD IN ORDER TO HELP THIS DEFENSE, by making them relatable to stuff you are doing now, to HELP YOUR DEFENSE AND ‘GET QUICKER’ AT SEEING THE ATTACKS OF FAKE YOU, so stopping it ‘wearing you down’…

You need what Football managers call some ‘Early Momentum’, as many Gifted Hedonists who FAIL radical character change FAIL RIGHT AT THE START, AND THEN GET MUCH, MUCH WORSE AT LIFE, AS ALL THEIR ILLUSIONS of ‘GOODNESS’ EVAPORATE, SO THEY ACCEPT THEIR FAKE ANTI HERO AS ‘WHO THEY ARE’ – THEY ARE A ‘SKANK’ BY NATURE, MIGHT AS WELL TRY AND HAVE SOME FUN EH, AS YOU KNOW YOU ARE WORTHLESS NOW BUT WHAT THE FUCK, YOU ARE STILL AWESOME AT ‘SELF DESTRUCTION’. Their life becomes the constant humiliation of chasing the faded glory of the obvious, TWATY,  middle-class ‘SADASS’, the ‘oldest swinger in town’, a worthless addict who ‘won’t look in the mirror in the light of day’. Truly a fate worse than death, SO YOU DON’T WANT THAT, DO YOU, you want to be BETTER THAN that, hell those are the people you currently ‘take the piss out’ of, aren’t they, YOUR NOT SO STUPID AS TO FALL INTO THAT SIMPLE ‘PROJECTION OF YOUR OWN FUTURE’ onto others? Are you..?

So you MUST UNDERSTAND NOW – THE FIRST POINT OF RASING YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUS VIA USING THE METHOD IN THIS POST IS TO BREAK YOUR FAKE ANTI-HERO’S ‘GOAL’, YOUR ENEMIES ‘HOLD OVER YOU’, WHICH IS YOUR TENDENCY TO ‘LEAK’ YOUR GIFT, YOUR ‘INCONTINENCE’ as they say in Zen. So we teach them together AS A POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP…

Now stay with me on this ‘Expose’ of YOUR BASIC, as it will be used to make a big POINT TO YOU AT THE END OF THIS BIT, so it has to be detailed and complex…

ALL HIGHLY GIFTED HEDONISTS THINK THEIR ‘BASIC IS THEIR COOL’, THE BEST THING ABOUT THEM, THEIR SUPERPOWER.

THEY WILL STICK TO THIS EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW ITS KILLING THEM, EVEN IN THEIR DARKEST HOURS NEXT DAY, WHICH THEY SOON FORGET.

THIS CAN NOT BE CHANGED BY ‘TALKING THERAPY’, YOU CAN NOT DECIDE TO ‘GIVE UP SOMETHING YOU LOVE’ – NOT UNTIL YOU ARE NEAR DEATH.

THE HARDEST PART IS TO UNDERSTAND YOUR BASIC IS USUALLY A PERVERTED FORM OF YOUR GIFT, THAT FAKE YOU IS USING TO STEAL FROM YOU.

IN REALITY YOUR BASIC, YOUR ANTI-HERO ‘COOL’ IS WHAT ZEN FOLKS CALL ‘INCONTINENCE’ – YOU ARE JUST PISSING YOURSELF AWAY EVERY TIME.

SEE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO TO DEVELOP YOUR POWER, IF YOU DON’T FIX THE BAD LEAKS, THE WORST OF YOUR BASIC, IT WILL ALL BE FOR NOTHING…

THIS IS WHY IT HAS TO BE DONE ‘FIRST’ AS PART OF YOUR GROWTH, AND DONE ‘PROPERLY’ FOR ‘RADICAL CHANGE’.

Now we can’t show you WHAT YOUR BASIC SHOULD ACTUALLY BE AS PART OF YOUR GIFT, how to use it to BENEFIT YOU, rather than let Fake You BLEED YOU OUT, like a pig hung up by your ankles as you slowly die. But we can use A detailed and complex method to BREAK YOUR ATTACHMENT TO IT BY ‘SEEING THROUGH IT’, by seeing the CON of it. See there is no point today going on and on about YOUR SELF DESTRUCTION, much as you need this NEW PATTERN OF UNDERSTANDING TO BE READY, right now you won’t care about the change ENOUGH to give up your BASIC, unless you get really, REALLY SCARED ONE DAY, and even that won’t last. You have TO ‘SEE IT’ YOURSELF, SEE THE PUBLIC HUMILIATION OF IT, BY USING A TEMPORARY INCREASE IN YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS TO LESSEN YOUR STATE OF IDENTIFICATION OVER TIME, UNTIL IT ‘HITS’ YOU.

Below I will describe the method WE WILL USE TODAY in a WAY YOU CAN SEE THE POINT OF ALL 3 ELEMENTS OF IT, but for now try and see the beauty of this approach – you must LESSEN YOUR STATE OF FEAR, in order TO INCREASE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, in order to LESSEN YOUR STATE OF IDENTIFICATION, and SO STOP YOUR INCONTINENCE, as you will stop ‘wanting’ to do it BECAUSE YOU WILL WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR GIFT INSTEAD. Please get this now – I NEED TO MAKE YOU CLEVERER TODAY, AND THE WAY YOU GET CLEVERER IS BY UNDERSTANDING CLEVER STUFF, like this.   

So, having said that Talking this out does not work and is simply a preparation for later, there are a couple of bits of information you can know now THAT WILL HELP SOFT THE BLOW WHEN IT HAPPENS LATER, as they will help you to DE-VAULE YOUR BASIC ‘NOW’, much as you still won’t be able to stop. See knowing this next bit logically will get you TO POSITION YOUR FAKE ANTI-HERO IN REALITY, BY COMPARISON WITH OTHERS, which will dramatically lessen the LOSS you feel when it ‘happens’. This speech consists of 3 simple things, things that are very close to my own heart, as I really struggled with my BASIC, as it was by FAR THE BEST THING ABOUT ME, AND WORSE, I NEEDED IT TO ‘SURVIVE’. Now, that sounds like an excuse because it is – ‘I’ DID NOT NEED MY ANTI-HERO, BUT MY CHOSEN REALITY, THE ILLUSION IN MY HEAD NEEDED MY ANTI-HERO TO SURVIVE. So I had to change the World I lived in WHILE I WAS STILL LIVING IN IT, just as some of you might have too, AS IT CAN BE THAT POWERFUL.

If you are LUCKY this next bit will change your opinion of yourself enough to start to see your BASIC FOR WHAT IT IS – A CURSE, and I mean an actual curse, as it is the source of every single one of your problems, your decline and public humiliation. See, your very CHOICE of personal basic, your preference for your type of basic is the signature of Fake You, THE ANTI-YOU, as it is the perversion of your GIFT in order to bleed you dry IN THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY POSSIBLE, FOR YOU. Your identification with this process as COOL IS BEST ADDRESSED BEFORE YOU LOSE THIS IDENTIFICATION WITH IT, and much else besides, so you are ready for that loss after the method in this post does its work – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND YOUR BASIC BETTER ‘TODAY’, IN ORDER TO GET SMARTER ‘LATER’.

So read the below and know what your BASIC ACTUALLY IS IN REALITY, but please note – most folks assign the worse of the hedonism as the biggest loss of their GIFT via extremely basic behaviours, the ‘black-out’ stuff you barely remember 5miuns later, HOWEVER as you age you NATURALLY lose the opportunities for this hedonism so the WORST OF YOUR BASIC TRANSITIONS OVER TO MUCH LESS DRAMATIC BUT MUCH MORE FREQUENT activities. This is all things Narcissism, ALL THINGS ‘NASTY, GUTLESS BITCH’, YOUR SECRET LIVES, controls and manipulations, your OBSSESSIVE CLEVERNESS, your need to be right, your self-destructive anger, your obsession with power for its own sake, etc etc. Therefore know that as you age the perception you are ‘not as bad’ as you used to be is usually a lie, if anything you usually get even more BASIC, just in more socially acceptable ways that YOU CAN HIDE MUCH BETTER – ‘LITTLE AND OFTEN’ ALWAYS BECOMES ‘WORSE THAN’.

Having said this many GIFTED cling onto their Hedonistic Basic well into old age, by designing their whole life, relationships, sexual preferences, career etc around providing ‘opportunities to chase their basic’, OFTEN BECOMING EXTREMELY TWISTED AND STRANGE IN THE PROCESS, AS THEY TEND TO CHASE THE GIFT OF OTHERS LIKE PARASITES. But the majority of Highly Gifted, who still have a strong enough Real You to balance them, GO THE SECRET LIFE route, living out their Hedonism ‘behind the scenes’ whilst aging gracefully in public – THESE PEOPLE MAKE UP THE VERY BEST CANDIDATES FOR MY 4TH WAY. See, they have already ‘normalized’ a pattern that they will need to DEVELOP THEMSELVES – THE SEPARATION OF THEIR PUBLIC AND PRIVATE LIVES. Indeed, you can say that this is yet another example of their Fake Self perverting a TRUE aspect of being GIFTED to use it to BLEED THEM INSTEAD OF DEVELOP THEM, and there are many such examples of this that it is useful to know later – SO WE DON’T THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATH WATER ON THIS PATH.

So know this now:

1. Your Basic is a ‘Fantasy’ –
2. You are ‘Shit’ at your Basic –
3. Your Basic is Designed to be a ‘Humiliation’ –

As a personal commentary, none of this was enough for me to STOP, indeed it made me worse in some respects, BUT IT DID PREPARE ME FOR THE CHANGE, and that is the point, cause I then wanted to stop – BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD THE ABOVE I DID NOT WANT TO CHANGE, I WANTED SPIRITUALITY TO MAKE ME ‘BETTER AT MY BASIC’, just like you do now. Afterward, I realized I would only get BETTER THAN after I GREW UP FROM MY BASIC AND STARTED USING THE ROOT CAUSE OF IT TO BE ‘ME’ – YOUR BASIC IS A COFFIN NAIL THAT ‘HOLDS YOU DOWN’, A PERVERSION OF YOUR GIFT, THAT IS THE POINT OF IT, THAT IS WHY IT WORKS FOR FAKE YOU – YOUR BASIC IS THE WORST WASTE OF YOUR GIFT, that is why Fake You has made you DO your BASIC, BY LYING ABOUT WHAT IT IS.

I was lucky as I already knew 1., that my view of my basic IN ACTION was a fantasy, AN IDEALIZED ILLUSION, I’d seen myself in the 3rd person via technology several times and been shocked by the reality of it, but honestly the initial effect of this was to try and make it more stylish, more attractive, TO THE POINT THAT I BECAME SLIGHTLY OBSESSED WITH ‘THE LOOK’ OF IT, rather than stop. However it took me a long time to get 2., to see that I was so GOOD at my basic ONLY because I unconsciously only used others who were so far beneath my animal abilities, skills and experience, but when MATCHED AGAINST MY OWN LEVEL, SADLY VERY RARE IN MY ENVIRONMENT AT THE TIME, MY BASIC WAS NOT ALL THAT. Again, this only caused me to go looking for MORE challenge, like some samurai sword master with a secret death wish, LOOKING FOR ‘BETTER THAN’ IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.

The real sticking point for me was 3. – in my case I could not accept 3. at all, because it felt like the exact opposite, I ONLY REALIZED THIS MUCH LATER WHEN I SAW WHAT MY BASIC DID TO ‘ME’ ON PURPOSE AFTERWARDS, ITS END RESULT, AND THEREFORE STARTED TO SEE THAT END RESULT AS PART OF THE PROCESS AT THE TIME, WHICH REALLY HELPED ME DEVALUE THE BEST THING ABOUT ME – IN REALITY IT WAS AKIN TO DRINKING ‘DRAINO’ WHILST PRETENDING IT WAS ‘THE ELIXIR OF YOUTH’, THINKING IT TASTED NICE. Modern folks tend to be luckier with this, as they are brought up in the ‘Everything that Kills Me, Makes Me FEEL ALIVE’ generation, (Sorry, One Republic), so its a much smaller jump to GET THAT IT ONLY MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE ‘BECAUSE’ ITS KILLING YOU. See FAKE YOU HIDES THE FEELING OF DEATH in it, the ‘SICKENING WEAKNESS’ UNDER THE ‘PETTY ALIVE’, BY GETTING YOU TO AMPLIFY THE ALIVE VIA FORCED ‘ANTICIPATION’ – in reality the feeling of DEATH IS ACTUALLY MUCH STRONGER, LONGER AND UNPLESANT, WHILE THE FEELING OF ALIVE IS A TINY MOMENTARY ‘RUSH’, YOU HAVE BECOME ‘OVER-SENSITIVE’ TO, THAT DISAPPEARS AS SOON AS YOUR SENSITIVITY DECLINES A LITTLE BIT.

It is a very good idea to be VERY CLEAR ABOUT THIS THEORETICALLY now, so you are ready when happens, why I have already detailed a process for it in the previous Post 3.5. The feeling of intense aliveness is created by the REFLECTION OF THE DEATH in it, the momentary ‘rush of danger’ ARITIFICALLY INCREASED VIA ANTICIPATION. There are much better ways to do FEEL GOOD which don’t age you, hurt you, KILL YOU, which is TO BECOME SENSITIVE TO YOUR GIFT INSTEAD OF YOUR ANIMAL, AND THE EFFECT OF THE GIFTS OF OTHERS ‘ON YOU’ = SPIRITUAL HEDONSIM, WHICH YOU SHOULD START TO PRACTISE NOW TO AID THIS TRANSITION. See, after you ‘see’ this aspect of your Basic, see your feelings whilst in the process of it, YOU WILL CHANGE, AND YOU WILL FEEL THE LOSS AT THE TIME OF THAT LOSS, feel the INTENSE WEAKNESS IN THE ‘NOW OF IT’, which is frankly quite ‘shocking’, as then you will start to understand what you have done to yourself over the years, thinking it was FUN. MOST ARE ECSTATIC TO LOSE ALL INTEREST IN THEIR GRUBBY LITTLE BASIC, BUT it is best to also be aware that many people become at least a little DISTURBED BY THIS CHANGE, to the point that it effects their development NEGATIVELY, normally because they have just been HEDGING THEIR BETS UP TILL THAT POINT, seeing development as a hobby, or ‘in the future’, SO ARE ‘PUT OFF’ TO LOSE THEIR BASIC FUN, even when they FEEL ‘BETTER THAN’.

See when you HIT this point you are COMMITTED, YOU HAVE BURNT YOUR BOATS, AND YOU CANNOT GO BACK, so most teachers don’t tell you this until after it has happened, as they think it is better to apologize FOR THE CONFUSION AFTERWARD rather than create doubt beforehand. But then most teachers don’t want HIGHLY GIFTED, the real individuals of the world, they want greater numbers of lowly gifted who rub along better together, WHILST HIGHLY GIFTED ONLY TEND TO GET ON WITH OTHER HIGHLY GIFTED, hence tend to be troublesome, and more extreme, HARDER TO REACH – WE ALL FOCUS ON OUR OWN LEVEL. It is different to illustrate how it feels for something you used to love to become hateful, nasty, sickening almost instantaneously, but many folks I have taught say it HIT them the same way some new crush, victim or fetish et al, you became obsessed with in a moment, CAN SUDDENTLY APPEAR TOTALLY DIFFERENT WHEN THE FANTASY YOU ARE PROJECTING ON THEM EVAPORATES, USUALLY VIA THEIR FAILURE TO LIVE UP TO IT IN SOME WAY. That’s a nice intro to it, so fine, just know what I am describing here is not just the LOSS OF ATTRACTION, IT IS TO BECOME TOTALLY AVERSE TO IT, TO LITERALLY ‘DESPISE IT’ AS A NEW FEELING, because it makes you FEEL SICK via WEAKNESS, LITERALLY…

This is why I teach your BETTER THAN, guide you to the feeling of SPIRITUAL HEDONISM early, as ‘replacement therapy’ and a massive SPEED UP, as otherwise the void in your life created by this sudden LOSS can ‘depress’ folks into STOPPING simply out of ‘a habit they miss’. Sadly a very small number will be so scared by this they will START TO BLANK OUT THEIR BASIC IN ORDER TO KEEP DOING IT, which is one of the key gateways into DOUBLE CRYSTALLIZATION, where you become 2 people who don’t talk to each other, AND NEEDS SPECIAL METHODS TO FIX. In rare cases a Highly Gifted hedonist can also go through this process BY ACCIDENT, after an intense shock associated with their Hedonism, and AUTOMATICALLY BLANK OUT THEIR BASIC FROM THEN ON, even claiming to others not to do it anymore, which is a really good reason to TAKE YOUR DEVELOPMENT VERY SERIOUSLY NOW, as this is very, VERY DANGEROUS – YOU BECOME VERY VULNERABLE TO ANIMAL PARASITES, LIKE A PUPPET. Often this type of extreme needs to ‘feed their demon’ whilst they develop, so are special cases that cannot be easily generalized for this post, BUT WILL STILL BENEFIT FROM FOLLOWING THIS METHOD as it will show them what is actually happening.

And Yes, you guessed it, there is a further reason I am going on with this topic AS AN ILLUSTRATION OF SOMETHING ELSE, long after the point has been made – YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO ‘SEE’ HOW YOUR BASIC FIGHTS BACK VIA USING ITS ‘EXTREMES’, ‘FAST’. So take for example THE MASSIVE GROWTH IN A PREVIOUSLY RARE ISSUE THAT BARELY EXISTED 10 YEARS AGO = THE INTENSE EMBARRASSMENT OF YOUR BASIC CAUSED BY THE THREAT OF SOCIAL MEDIA. This can be so bad that many Gifted folks decide it is literally better to DESTROY YOURSELF THAN FACE IT, BECAUSE BOTH THE PAIN OF FACING IT AND THE THREAT TO THEM PUBLICALLY MEANS IT IS BETTER TO BURN, as a sort of lesser of the two evils. These folks often DOUBLE DOWN ON THEIR BASIC, becoming much worse as a reaction to this FEAR, FOR WHICH THERE IS NO EASY FIX – THE SHAME OF BOTH YOUR EMBARRASSMENT AND YOUR CONSCIENCE COMBINE SO YOU ‘CAN NEVER GO THERE’, the anticipation of that pain is at a physical level of HEARTBREAK.

BUT WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR FAKE BASIC COMES FROM YOUR FAKE MOODS THEN IT IS ACTUALLY QUITE EASY TO BREAK: 

THE EASIEST WAY TO FIGHT YOUR BASIC IS BY SEEING THROUGH IT, THE FAKE CON OF IT, SO YOUR GIFTED MOOD STATE, YOUR BETTER THAN, MUST BECOME BIGGER, STRONGER, MORE PERSISTENT THAN YOUR LOW ANIMAL MOOD STATE, YOUR ‘WORSE THAN’.

THIS WILL DECREASE YOUR ANTICIPATION OF YOUR BASIC VERY QUICKLY, AND WITHOUT THAT YOUR BASIC WILL STOP BEING FUN AND START BEING SICKENING – YOU WILL SEE THROUGH IT, YOU WILL ‘FEEL’ THAT ‘WRONGNESS’, THAT IT IS A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE ‘LIE’, A CON.

AFTER YOU MASTER THIS CYCLE OF REAL GIFTED VS FALSE ANIMAL MOODS, YOU WILL REALIZE THAT THIS CYCLE ALLOWS YOU TO SEE FAKE YOU ‘IN ACTION’ ACROSS A RANGE OF ITS ACTIVITIES, WHILST ALLOWING YOU TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO DO = SELF-POSSESSED.

YES, YOU MUST USE THE NEW GIFTED BASELINE MOOD YOU DEVELOP TODAY TO OPPOSE YOUR FAKE ANIMAL MOODS, IN ORDER TO CYCLE ROUND A REPETATIVE PROCESS THAT CONTINUALLY BUILDS YOUR GIFT, YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’, WHILE IT WEAKENS YOUR ‘ANIMAL’.

SO, here are three keys, simply put, that are worth knowing as they will help with your MOOD-BASED CONFUSION – THE START OF MAKING YOU SMARTER ABOUT YOUR BASIC BY YOU MAKING SMARTER ABOUT YOUR MOOD, the start of understanding what is happening to you during this silly little conjob.

First, this is a very good example of a visible version of the same issue that recurs over and over again in Spirituality, to deal with BIG things in your life you NEED TO BECOME BIGGER THAN THEM, in our case today BIGGER THAN FAKE YOU, CONSCIOUSLY BIGGER, SO YOU CAN START TO SEE BEHIND THE MIRROR, TO FEEL ‘THE TAILS’ OF YOUR HIDDEN EMOTION OF FEAR, EMBARRISMENT THAT IS THE REAL CAUSE OF YOUR BASIC BEHAVIOURS, JUST AS IT DISAPPEARS. Animal anticipation is USED TO HIDE THE TRUTH FROM YOU, so its a really good idea to see that it does not actually exist – LIKE ALL ‘MEMORIES’ OF FEAR OR DESIRE IT DOES NOT RELATE TO ‘NOW’.

Second it is also an example of one of the ODDEST THINGS IN ALL SPIRITUALITY, when your GIFT ACCEPTS YOUR BAD, either via some Ancestral cause, OR IN ORDER TO PROTECT YOU FROM FAKE YOU MENTALLY, by making you tougher, ABLE TO COPE WITH THINGS THAT WOULD BREAK MOST PEOPLE. You see this with folks whose level of basic is in some way forced on them ‘situationally’ so it is not a choice, like mine was, and so their Gift stops attacking them via their Conscience early on and makes them STRONGER, CASUAL. As a teacher you often hear these people say all their BASIC is ‘No Big Deal’ as they don’t take it ‘seriously’, because they are strong enough to normalize it and make it a JOKE, at least for now, as it is an END STAGE state of mind, your Real You is almost gone and most likely you will already experience uncontrolled states of mind, of MANIA – NEXT STOP intermittent ‘CATATONIA’, which IS a big deal.

But the Third one is the KILLER, and one that several of you I know should take some time to consider – AS I HAVE SAID YOUR FAKE BASIC IS A PERVERSION OF YOUR GIFT, EG IT USES THE SAME SUPERNATURAL MECHANSIM OF YOUR GIFT IN A ‘WRONG WAY’ SO ‘YOU’ LOSE THE BENEFIT OF IT, AS YOU DECLINE. Often this perversion of your TRUE character is the exact opposite of what GIFTED you ‘is’, so you become the anti-you, like one of those odd growths on a cultured Rose that looks all weird, spiky, and very different to the REAL rose – a ‘SUCKLER’ – THAT IS STILL TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON IT, YET IS HAPPY TO DESTROY THE BLOOM OF THAT ROSE SO IT CAN GROW. These people become TOXIC, the new age word is ‘Energy Vampires’, and not just to themselves but to everything around them, a sort of cancer, stealing energy from everything else to feed the rapid growth OF THIER EMBARRASSMENT.  

YES, what fuels that growth in GIFTED cases is EXTREME levels of embarrassment, WHICH BECOME DIRECTLY LOCKED TOGETHER WITH YOUR BASIC IN A CYCLE, as the embarrassment itself is an even lower level of consciousness than your basic, working like a rachet to CONTINUALLY DRAG YOU BACK DOWN, whatever else you do. So it has to go, and you need to break it fast, BURN IT OUT AT ‘THE SOURCE’ BY ‘FACING’ IT. The good news is THAT EMBARRASSMENT IS PART OF BEING A CHILD, of refusing to grow up, SO IT’S AN ILLUSION. See, that extreme embarrassment, that inability to even ‘look at yourself’ anymore IS ALREADY IN THE PAST, Real You only does this ‘once’, BUT FAKE YOU THEN REPLAYS THAT STATE OVER AND OVER AS A MEMORY TO CONTROL YOU.

If you had ever met me you would know that in these sitreps I GO OUT OF MY WAY TO SHAME YOU FAST, QUICK AND CLEAN, JUST TO GET IT OUT OF THE WAY and MOVE ON, to try and grow you up fast, AS I KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. See, your ongoing embarrassment NO LONGER EXISTS, YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE IT, EVERYONE KNOWS – WHAT YOU ARE FEELING IS JUST THE MEMORY OF THAT FEELING FROM FAKE YOU, BECAUSE IT IS FAKE.  So don’t underestimate this issue, it leads to its even more childish cousins, ‘narcissistic blaming’ and ‘destructive jealousy’, all of which you JUSTIFY AS ‘NOT MY FAULT’, before the inevitable ‘intervention’. But again, this knowledge will tend to make you double down against any HELP, to scream like a baby, as you won’t be able to face your embarrassment until you are BIGGER THAN IT, which is what I’m going to teach you today. 

Now, for the more extreme amongst you, FOR THE MID TO HIGHLY GIFTED WHO LOST THEIR WAY EARLY ON, SAY IN THEIR LATE TEENS, its important to try and UNDERSTAND YOUR EMBARRASSMENT, your inability to change because of it. Many people’s entire FAKE YOU is built on top of embarrassment at a high level, and these days it often involves Sex, particularly when Fake You takes over your natural, your Gifted level of ‘high libido’ and controls you through ‘Fake Sex’, which is the creation of an unreal type of Eroticism to bleed you as the key part of your Incontinence. See Fake You gets you to CHASE Sex where no natural, MUTUAL attraction BETWEEN PEOPLE exists just to BLEED YOU, with the 3 most common types of Fake Sex being the classic Fantasy Sex (eg all things porn), Fetishized Sex (eg all things designed to increase animal tension) and, by far the worst loss, Manufactured Sex (eg to feel erotic simply because others find you attractive). Yes, your Fake You will ‘invent Sex’ in your mind and then body in order to control you, and combined with high levels of embarrassment is probably the greatest single trap in all spirituality, AS IT CAN NEVER BE FACED HEAD ON, IT MUST BE APPROACH FROM THE SIDE, like we are doing today.  Real sex, beneficial sex involves actual people you have a POSITIVE connection to, SO IT BUILDS YOU UP and UP, while all Fake Sex is a form of CHASING DEATH, as the loss of your gift is what death is – THAT IS THE POINT OF FAKE SEX.

Now this is going to get a bit ‘Icky’ but I want YOU TO see it NOW for later, please – all forms of Basic Incontinence are a form of SELF HARM IN A VERY REAL SENSE, but you can’t relate to that because your FAKE YOU IS USING A ‘GLAMOUR’, a witches trick, a glamourous Con to hide that from you in the moment. What you are doing is exactly the same as a child does when they realize they can use visceral sensation to blot out anxiety and unhappiness from their mind by SLASHING THEMSELVES WITH A RAZOR. There is no benefit to this, it is a FAKE feeling better when you feel FAKE worse, AS IT BLEEDS YOU IN AN ACTUAL SENSE OF THAT WORD, just like you are doing to yourself. This is particularly true WITH HIGH LEVELS OF EMBARRISSMENT that drives you to use DRUGS, SEX OR VIOLENCE as your chosen forms of Basic Incontinence, as these all BLEED YOUR GIFT directly. It is not cool, not exciting, not clever, not even interesting, its just sad on a whole other level of pathetic, IT IS ‘SADASS’ – YOU ARE BEING CONNED INTO SELF HARM FOR NO BENEFIT TO YOURSELF YOU DON’T ALREADY HAVE, YOU ARE A DORK LIVING IN A FANTASY WORLD.

You will also find that your little herd, your parasites KNOW THIS, and artificially create more of this FAKE anxiety in your life in order to control you, GET YOU TO DO IT MORE, so never feel sorry for them – THEY THINK YOU ARE A ‘WIND UP TOY’, A MORON. I have to half kill several of this type in my life as favours to other gifted and you never get tired of it, as you are doing a service to mankind in general – YOUR PARASITES ALWAYS BECOME INTOXICATED WITH HURTING YOU. Be mindful, however much ‘fun’ from the attention you are having, this type of parasite covers some of the real horror shows, the desperate addicts who need drugs just to open the fridge let alone go to work, the ones who prey on the junior staff who work for them, and tend to rack up a lot of suicides with the folk they ‘used to be in relationships’ with, WHILST ALSO TENDING TO SMELL LIKE THE ARSE OF A HORSE THAN BEEN DEAD FOR 10 DAYS – REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE BY FORCE IF REQUIRED, THEY ARE DISGUSTING PEOPLE.  So SEE IT clear, YOU ARE STORE UP A LOT OF SHIT FOR YOURSELF FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER – your FAKE anxiety is used to build your FAKE anticipation of the FAKE BASIC activities that just lessen that FAKE anxiety – YOU ARE WEARING TIGHT SHOES FOR THE RELIEF OF TAKING THEM OFF, AND IT’S ALL COMPLETELY FAKE, there is no pleasure in it, NO SEX, AT ALL.

Not going to go on about Sex today however, BUT IF YOU SUFFER WITH ANY FORM OF EMBARRISSMENT THAT IS TO BIG FOR YOU TO FACE, you must START TO STEP AWAY FROM IT IN YOUR MIND, so you can see it as part of Animal Fake You, SEE WHAT IT IS – A CON JOB. See, the reason for this last bit of expose of your BASIC is that EMBARRASSMENT AT HIGH LEVELS IS EXTREMELY USEFUL AS A TEACHING AID, not only to make the point about the size of some Fake You moods being too big for you to face RELATABLE, but also as a way for a teacher to judge YOUR POTENTIAL TO DEVELOP. See, IF YOU ARE ABLE TO ‘CONFESS’ YOUR EMBARRASSMENT TO YOUR TEACHER ‘IN PRIVATE’, to ‘exorcize’ it in secret, it means that YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO GET BIG ENOUGH TO FACE IT, that is why the Catholic Church still uses CONFESSION, cause it WORKS. It is not a particularly fun thing for any teacher, however it is accepted as part of the job, and always well received as part of your own Heros Journey, much as we usually already know the type of fear you are going to say. Trust me, if you ever get anywhere on your journey THEN YOU WILL SIEZE EVERY OPP TO CONFESS THINGS YOU NO LONGER WANT TO A TRUSTED TEACHER TO GET SHOT OF THEM…

BUT I KNOW, right now you can’t do it, can you – EVEN IF I TELL YOU I KNOW YOU WILL STILL BE FORCED TO DENY IT VIA YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE EGO SAFTEY… Modern folks find no comfort in knowing from their teacher that ‘we have all done it’, indeed many of us were worse than YOU, and that no one of us judges you AFTER YOU START TO DEVELOP – its just become TOO BIG to even think about, BECAUSE YOU ARE STUCK IN A LOW LEVEL ANIMAL MOOD WHICH CREATES ‘ARTIFICIAL SENSITIVITIES’ TO THOSE LITTLE MOOD SWINGS THAT CONTROL YOU, TOTALLY. Its a TRAP, you bounce off the mental walls of your mood continually turning around and around in ever-decreasing circles in your head, when all you really need to do is BREAK THE MOOD IN YOU ARE LIVING IN.

Yes, as I’ve already said this information won’t be enough, BUT IT WILL BE ENOUGH FOR REAL YOU TO MAKE YOUR BASIC START TO STING, so you will now start to see Fake You in your basic, START TO SEE WHAT A GUTLESS TOOL YOU ARE, AND THE WHOLE ‘COOL’ THING WILL START TO DISAPPEAR, start to leave a shitty taste in your mouth. Yes, MY apologies, I’ve just cursed you, but hey, this is Radical Change, did you really expect it to be fucking Sunday School..? It half killed me 25 years ago because I fought it, but then I was probably much worse than you, probably, and you know better than to fight this now, DON’T YOU? Yes, SEE THESE IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEMS YOU HAVE are all just your FAKE BASIC, fucking with you, and are, WITH THE PROCESS BELOW, QUITE EASY TO BEAT. I did not know that 25 years ago, that all these separate elements could be combined to JUMP START CHANGE, so I had to do this the HARD WAY, but you won’t, because you know there is a short cut, MUCH AS SADLY KNOWING THIS WON’T BE ENOUGH, BUT YOU WILL BE READY WHEN IT HAPPENS…

How does it start to STING you ask? When you start to see the pattern of YOUR BASIC INCONTINENCE HURTING YOU, first directly after it and later at the time. See when indulged a lot this pattern of BASIC will grow outside of your chosen form of BASIC and start to affect EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE – YOU WILL START TO LEAK ALL THE TIME, particularly if your GIFT is still strong or directly after activities that give you a GIFTED boost. Indeed this PATTERN CAN ACTUALLY MAKE YOU INCONTINENT, and you will need to go to the bathroom many more times than you actually need to as the ‘fake urge’ to urinate starts to play with you. Worse in time your other most effective forms of energy loss, TALKING, DIGESTION and FANTAZING will take on a far greater importance TO YOU, WITH MANY HIGHLY GIFTED LIVES CONSISTING OF LITTLE MORE THAN THESE THINGS. This is when GIFTED become what we call ‘JUMPY’, because they are unconsciously always looking to burn their spirit via this type of activity, with this phase being a particular precursor to the Hardness phase, where GIFTED BECOME VERY CALLOUS, BRUTAL, UNPLEASANT AND DISINTERESTED AS PEOPLE, and only care if they ‘had fun’, if they ‘got theirs’.

Frankly, it is always VERY OBVIOUS WHEN THIS PATTERN STARTS TO DOMINATE SOMEONE, and makes us smile, but not in a negative WAY, but in a way that CAN BE USED TO TEACH YOU. See, everyone wants to STOP THESE OTHER BEHAVIOURS, they are of no use, AND FRANKLY ARE EMBARRISSING WHEN POINTED OUT. So we can show you this same pattern in things you don’t like about yourself, your tendency to feel compelled TO LEAK in things you want to stop, so  IT WORKS LIKE A DOOR INTO THE CONCEPT OF INCONTINENCE, whereas your chosen Basic is usually too bigger deal for your to go near, AS YOU STILL GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT TO THE POINT THAT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS VANILLA WITHOUT IT – THIS IS THE KEY WAY IT CONTROLS YOU, via the anticipation of crappy little thrills BY BECOMING WAY MORE VALUABLE TO YOU, TO YOUR LIFESTYLE VIEW, THAN they ACTUALLY ARE, BECAUSE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS SO FUCKING CRAP.

Yes, it is always easier for you to ACCEPT YOU ARE MAKING A TOTAL TWAT OF YOURSELF BY OVER TALKING, OVER EATING, DAYDREAMING LIKE WALTER MITTY, than it is to deal with the SHIT THAT YOU THINK IS FUN, so that is what we do. We GET YOU TO WORK ON THIS PATTERN IN MUCH EASIER, SMALLER WAYS THAT YOU CAN BE SHOWN VERY NEGATIVELY TO YOU, indeed, it will help make you SMARTER BY STARTING TO SEE THE POWER OF NEGATIVE INCONTINENT PATTERNS IN YOUR LIFE, particularly when they start to GROUP TOGETHER, when the worst of your BASIC ACTS are actually a cluster of INCONTINENT BEHAVIORS. See, we get YOU TO SEE THE MULTIPLE DIFFERENT TYPES OF LEAKS AT THE SAME TIME AS A STATE OF INCONTINENCE, like ingesting multiple different TYPES OF ACID (smoking/drinking/drugs), at the same time of experiencing multiple types of FEARS (social anxieties, discomfort, pain), at the same time as doing multiple NEGATIVE BASIC THINGS (over talking, over-eating, bizarre fantasizing, pointless fake thrill sex), at the same time as losing CONTROL OF BODILY FUNCTIONS (fake hunger/thirst, weak bladder, bizarre emotional sensitivities, phantom irritations, nervous physical ticks etc). Be clear – all of this is designed to make you FAKE FEEL BETTER, so you do it all willingly, without question, BUT YOU DON’T BELEIVE IT, DO YOU, YOU THINK THESE ARE ALL REAL CHOICES YOU ARE MAKING…

So do yourself a big favour now – NEVER UNDERESTIMATE HOW MUCH OF A SIMPLE LITTLE HERD ANIMAL YOU ARE, AT YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS. Never forget how FUCKING STUPID AND EASILY LED AROUND BY THE FAKE B/S OF FAKE YOU, how much your precious ‘SOPHISTICATION’, your DEPTH, your CLASS, that you attribute to yourself is a VERY THIN VENEER INDEED, AS IT IS ALL TOTAL B/S.  You are a HERD animal, you select your friends on the basis of SOME BENEFIT TO YOU, to them agreeing to dislike the same people or things as you, TO HAVE A LITTLE GANG OF FREAKS, EVEN IF YOU DESPISE THEM AS PEOPLE, THAT VALUE OF EGO SAFETY IS WORTH FAR MORE TO AN ANIMAL THEN THEIR OWN OPINION. You give up 4/5 of yourself every fucking day in order to both BE LIKE/FIT IN AND BE LIKED BY OTHER PEOPLE, because of your INFERIORITY COMPLEX, your undermining character SO YOUR PRECIOUS INDIVIDUALITY DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE – YOU HAVE NO OPINION OF YOUR OWN, your life is one little quest for EXTERNAL VALIDATION, like a toxic little party girl DESPERATE FOR ‘LIKES’, AS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY HERD ANIMALS SURVIVE.

But you are GIFTED, ARE YOU NOT, SO WHY DO YOU NEED ‘THE HERD’? You don’t, YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT THIS, to BE THIS AS A CHILD, AND THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THIS CRAPPY LITTLE EXISTENCE IS TO GROW THE FUCK UP! You must GET SMARTER to be able to see this happening AT THE TIME, AND THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT IS HAVE THE BOTTLE TO RESIST THE AUTOMATIC ACTION OF IT, TO STOP AND THINK WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING THIS SHIT FOR AGAIN? It takes BOTTLE TO GO AGAINST YOURSELF, TO OPPOSE THE STUPIDITY OF LEAKING, TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE DOING IT, DECIDE DIFFERENTLY AND STOP DOING IT, otherwise even if you know its stupid THERE IS NOTHING IN YOU, NO BIG ENOUGH SHELL OF RESISTANCE TO STOP YOU, you just go on and on with it, forever THINKING IS FUN TO TOTALLY HUMILIATE YOURSELF LIKE A TWAT…

S0 NOW, here is a BIG POINT to telling you ALL THIS ABOUT YOUR BASIC at THE FIRST LAYER OF TRUTH – TODAY IT IS A VERY GOOD IDEA TO GET TO KNOW THE ‘BIG PICTURE’ OF CHANGE, SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE TIME, FAST. So I must make you SMARTER, as I have said, BY EXPLAINING THE REASONS ‘BEHIND’ THESE FACTS AS PATTERNS, with this example being based on your BASIC ‘INCONTINENCE’, the biggest waste of your gift AS IT RELATES TO this LESSON. See if I give you these NEW FACTS AS PATTERNS THEN YOU CAN USE THEM TO RELATE TO OTHER SIMILAR THINGS, rather than try and remember things as INFORMATION, WHICH YOUR FAKE YOU CAN CRUSH. This way you can SEE things happening to you, AND understand the REASONS for what is happening to you MUCH, MUCH QUICKER, SO YOU WILL GET SMARTER. So today you have JUST got A LOT SMARTER ABOUT YOUR BASIC… 

But THE SECOND LAYER OF TRUTH is EVEN MORE IMPORTANT – THOSE PATTERNS UNDERPIN A WIDE RANGE OF UNDERSTANDING WAY BEYOND UNDERSTANDING YOUR BASIC, indeed, as I have said, the whole issue of YOUR CONSCIOUS SIZE IS A MASSIVE, RECURRING THEME IN ALL SPIRITUALITY BECAUSE IT IS A MASTER PATTERN, eg when BAD aspects of you character, like embarrassment CONTROLLING YOU,  are SO BIG YOU CAN’T SEE THEM INTELLECTUALLY AT ALL unless I force you to LOOK UP, like standing next to the foot of a skyscraper. YES, by learning an example, very relevant to this lesson, you are also able to learn other things much faster later, BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PATTERN THAT YOU CAN RELATE TO ‘NOW’, SO THAT PATTERN WILL BE BURNT IN, and you can use it on other stuff later. There are volumes of both ancient and modern spirituality where THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF THE TEXT IS TO ACHIEVE THIS NEW PATTERN ‘BURN IN’ SIMPLY TO MAKE YOU SMARTER, eg it is the core of the Christian New Testament.     

So the MAIN reason I have chosen to illustrate your Fake Self via this expose of your Fake Basic is to INTRODUCE THE CONCEPT OF MASTER PATTERNS in relation to PART 4 ON CHANGE, ON DIGNITY ITSELF, before I give you x3 more important and VERY SPECIFIC big-picture elements as new Master Patterns that are WAY MORE IMPORTANT TO THE NEXT LESSON – YOUR ‘REAL PERSONALITY’, REALITY AS A ‘PERSONAL HALLUCINATION’ and THE ‘MULTI-DIMENSIONAL’ NATURE OF REALITY. Yes, You ‘Seeing’ these elements is in the future of even rapid development, but knowing them theoretically in relation to your Fake Self is VERY USEFUL now AS PATTERNS, as it provides both a TRUE DIRECTION TO YOUR PRACTISE and actually HELPS YOU START THE METHOD TODAY WITH A BROADER MINDSET OF WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU. These elements will help you GET THE POINT SO YOU CAN USE IT ON OTHER ELEMENTS OF THIS PROCESS, indeed they show you that your life is not random chance at all, BECAUSE YOU HAVE A POINT, A ‘HEROES JOURNEY’, YOU WERE BORN WITH ONE – IT IS PART OF THE REASON YOU WERE BORN at all.

I am not going to do this yet, as you must relate to these patterns in NEXT METHOD YOURSELF, you must RELATE to them over time and so burn them in, AS ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT. However I can point you in the right direction by saying that YOUR REAL PERSONALITY IS THE GOAL OF TODAYS PRACTICE as an end result, MULTI-DIMENSOINAL REALITY IS THE REASON THE PRACTICE WORKS the odd way it does, and the PERSONAL HALLUCINATION OF YOUR WORLD IS HOW YOU UNDERSTAND THE METHOD ITSELF, at the start, so you can get started much quicker than just following the method. All of this will allow you to get much better, much quicker at using the METHOD TO SUIT YOUR PARTICULAR GIFT, TO SEE IT WORK OR NOT WORK VIA YOUR EXPERIMENTS WITH IT, and then chase the bits which work better for you because you can relate to those bits via these master patterns – THIS IS WHAT ‘DIRECTION’ MEANS, and you can use that direction to personalize your practice with that direction in mind, like driving around a roadblock en route to the same destination.

So I’ll leave you with this summary of this intro section, nice and breezy…

YOU MUST GET SMARTER TODAY BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB AS FUCK – YOU ARE TOO SLOW.

YET YOU THINK YOU ARE CLEVER, SO KNOW I CAN’T GET YOU ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU START TO MAKE A POINT OF GETTING SMARTER, BIGGER – YOUR GUTLESS STUPIDITY INSULTS US ALL, YOUR PETTY MOOD SWINGS DEFINE YOU YET THIS IS NOT A HOBBY, IT IS A WAY OF LIFE.

SO KNOW – I’M A TEACHER, AND I HELP ‘BAD’ PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN ORDER TO HELP MYSELF TOO. I NEVER WANTED IT, BUT I WELCOME IT NOW – NO ONES ‘FAKE YOU’ EVER WANTS TO BE WHAT THEY ‘ARE’, AND IN ALL TRUTH IT WAS ‘THE CURE’ FOR THE VICIOUS, ANIMAL TWAT I HAD BECOME.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME – WHAT IS ‘YOUR POINT’?

YEP, GIFTED HAVE A POINT IN THE SENSE OF A VOCATION, A STYLE, A ‘BIG PICTURE’ THAT OFTEN CONTAINS MANY EVENTS, WHILST BEING NO ONE EVENT, SO YOU MUST FIND THIS, I DON’T TELL YOU, MUCH AS IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS, BUT DON’T GET LOST IN THE OBVIOUS ONES EITHER…

WANT A CLUE? – YOUR POINT IS HIDDEN IN WHAT YOU ‘CHASE’, BEHIND YOUR ‘STOCKHOLM SYNDROME’, WITHIN YOUR ‘HEARTS DESIRE’ AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHAT YOUR FAKE YOU WILL MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO STOP YOU DOING, BECAUSE YOU ARE SCARED SHITLESS…

AHHH, YOU DON’T HAVE A POINT, YOU HAVE THE POINT OF ‘NO POINT’, WHICH IS TO GET TO YOUR DEATH AS QUICKLY, PAINLESSLY AND PRODUCTIVELY AS POSSIBLE? SO YOUR TIME HAS PASSED – CONTROL, CHEAP THRILLS AND EGO SAFETY IS ALL THAT MATTERS NOW? YOU ARE A CHILD?

I’M SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT, SEE WORD ON THE STREET IS THAT YOU ‘USED TO BE’ SOMETHING SPECIAL, BEEYATCH – YOUR NATURAL CLASS USED TO DRIP FROM YOUR FINGERS LIKE LIQUID GOLD, YOUR PRESENCE COULD FRY LIGHT BULGS, YOUR EMOTIONS DISTORTED ANIMAL REALITY.

SO WHERE DID ALL THAT ‘MAGIC OF YOU’ GO THEN?

JESUS… YOU DIDN’T LET SOME CREEPY LITTLE FREAKS STEAL IT FROM YOU? SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT BABE, YOU MUST BE SICK TO YOUR STOMACH, GUTTED FOR YOU, BUT TRY AND BE STRONG, REMEMBER THERE IS ALWAYS YOUR PICTURES AND THE FUNNY FAGS WHEN IT STARTS TO GET HARD…

BUT I HAVE TO SAY, THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE MORE LOW-QUALITY BULLSHIT TO ME, LIKE – IT SOUNDS LIKE WHAT WE ALL FUCKING SAY AT THE BEGINNING, BEFORE WE ‘GROW UP’, AND ‘FACE IT’, WHILE WE STILL HAVE THE BOTTLE TO PUT OURSELVES IN HARMS WAY WITH A SMILE.

SEE I LOVE GIFTED HEDONISTS ME, THE ‘SELF-LOVE’ IN THEM, DON’T CARE HOW THEY ‘ACT IT OUT’ NOW, CAUSE THAT SELF-LOVE IS THEIR SPIRIT, THEIR ‘REAL YOU’ KEEPING THEM ALIVE, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THAT IS WHERE THEIR ‘BOTTLE’, THEIR ‘FUCK YOU’ COMES FROM.

YES, YOU ARE GIFTED, SO ‘YOU MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT’ – ITS ONLY OVER WHEN YOU’RE DEAD.

SO TRY NOT TO DIE BEFORE THEN, TRY NOT TO KILL ‘YOUR SPIRIT’ BY FITTING IN WITH ‘THEM’, AS IT’S ALL ‘YOU HAVE’, BUT ALL ‘THEY WANT’, SO FIND YOUR OWN LEVEL, FITTING IN ‘BENEATH YOU’ WILL MAKE THEM HATE YOU, AS YOU MAKE THEM FEEL UNBEARABLY INFERIOR, SO THEY HURT YOU…

YES, TRY AND REMEMBER THIS AS YOU AGE, WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO, AS NATURE SLOWLY TAKES EVERYTHING BACK IT HAS EVER GIVEN YOU – ONCE YOUR BOTTLE HAS GONE, YOUR SPIRIT HAS GONE, AND THEN YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER ANIMAL WHO HATES THEIR LIFE.

NO? YOU STILL HAVE THE BOTTLE FOR THIS? THINK YOU ARE ‘STILL’ A GANGSTA CHICK, NOT ‘BROKEN IN’ YET, EH? 

OK – SHOW ME – SHOW ME YOU STILL HAVE SOME BOTTLE – ITS A TEST BITCH – SHOW ME YOUR ‘SPIRIT’ OR WHAT IS LEFT OF IT,

SEE AT THE START THE STRENGTH OF THAT SPIRIT IS REALLY ALL THAT MATTERS, I CAN FIX (ALMOST) EVERYTHING ELSE…

YES, EVERYTHING IS A TEST, IF YOU ARE GIFTED – SO WHAT’S LEFT IN THE TANK BABE – ARE YOU ‘CREEPY’ OR CLASSY, ‘ADDICT’ OR PLAYER, BADASS OR ‘SADASS’? DO YOU STILL ‘RATE A MENTION’, ARE YOU STILL ‘REMARKABLE’? DO YOU STILL SINGE THE FUCKING GROUND AS YOU WALK ALONG? 

SEE, AND DON’T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY, BUT RIGHT NOW PRETTY MUCH ANY-BLOODY-THING WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE RATHER OBVIOUS LITTLE OBESSIONAL FREAK SHOW YOU ARE ROLLING, SO MAYBE JUST KICK IT UP A NOTCH EH, BEFORE YOU BORE US ALL TO DEATH – LET ME SEE WHAT YOUR ‘BEST DAY’ LOOKS LIKE. You DO still have a BEST DAY right? YOU STILL HAVE SOME ‘GAME’, some ‘MOJO’… don’t you? Ohhh, You are NOT CONFLICTED, ARE YOU? NOT LOST IN THE CONFUSION OF YET ANOTHER DESPERATELY NON-URGENT yet strangely compelling LITTLE animal MOOD SWING, driven by what they might say about you on your SOCIALS? ‘THE HORROR’, eh, and you had worked so hard to keep it all together, to KEEP ‘THEM ALL’ SO FUCKING HAPPY… 

Thought so… but don’t worry honey, its cool really, you have all these ‘impossible problems’ you have invented, so just ‘sit tight’, wait for the wheel to turn and let ‘evolution’ do its work, wait for it to cleanse the earth of all your chubby little parasites by random chance, THEN YOU WON’T HAVE TO ‘SIDE WITH THOSE WHO YOU DESPISE’ (Sorry, Leonard…). Then you will see that your problems amount to little more than being bullied out of you lunchbox by a skinny middle class 8 y/o with severe emotional issues, while the teachers look on in some primary school playground, and your ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ was SIMPLY ONE MORE TEST YOU FAILED – you will see why the Teachers don’t give a shit about ‘poor you’ because you FAILED ‘NATURAL SELECTION 101’. If it makes you feel any better know that we ‘pity’ you, we sympathize, we even emphasize, and comfort ourselves in the knowledge that you are warm, well fed, safe and comfortably numb, and pray for you in the hope that there is someone there at the end to make up some nice shit about your little gutless life to go on your headstone, just before we FORGET YOU FOREVER.

You do want to ‘be forgotten’ now, don’t you, ITS YOUR CHOICE TO DISAPPEAR, TO TRADE ‘YOUR HOT ASHES FOR TREES’ (Sorry, Pink Floyd…) you don’t want anyone to know about your ‘nasty’, so you want to hide EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF NOW, LIKE A PUSSY – YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS FOR YOUR LIFE, you understand how ‘attention’ works now? For your own sake, I hope so… For the rest of you, for all those who still take some PRIDE in their ‘GAME’, let’s go LOOKING FOR THE SHIT shall we, while we can still put up a fight worth watching, BECAUSE WE OUR ‘BOX OFFICE’, AND WE LOVE IT. See we know our death is already sitting quietly in the corner, ‘judging us’ with a grin, JUST LIKE YOURS IS – SO REPEAT AFTER ME, NOT TODAY OLD MAN, take your Chess Board, your sackcloth and ashes, and your pox riddled pale horse and do one my friend, until tomorrow comes.

See tomorrow we, and maybe even you, will have a way better story to tell his master, THAT WE JUST NAILED, at the very ‘top of our game’, WHILST KEEPING OUR OWN, AND EVERYONES ELSES SECRETS locked away, so very safe from his gossipy little ‘animals’ AS WE TAKE THEM TO THE GRAVE. See that is NOT You is it, that pathetic creature desperately searching for any titbit about something ‘special’ they can use on Whatsapp to briefly raise their rank of Significance from ‘Harmless’ to ‘Mostly Harmless’, before falling back into wondering why their life appears to have gone to total shit – YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THAT, DO YOU, but THEY DO. Now why is that, do ya think – WHAT MAKES YOU CRINGE WITH SHAME AND HUMILIATION IN THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY WHEN YOU KNOW NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, WHILST THEY GIGGLE LIKE A CHILD BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY GOT AWAY WITH IT, AND DON’T CARE EVEN WHEN THEY HAVEN’T BECAUSE ‘ANYTHING’ IS BETTER THAN THEIR ‘NOTHING’.

SEE IT YET, or do you need another 1000 words? I know, SHAME TESTS ARE A BASTARD, but sadly nothing else comes close at an animal level in showing ‘you’ who ‘you really are’, SO STOP HIDING FROM IT – SEVERAL OF YOU HAVE ‘PASSED’.

Now, however much you may wish to see the above as another one of my many rants, even though I nailed it, know that it is not, IT IS THE KEY TO THIS WHOLE LESSON, FOR ‘YOU’ TO OPEN YOUR MIND AND SEE ALL OF THIS FOR WHAT IT IS – SPIRITUALITY THE ARISTOS WAY, THE ELITIST PATH, like the ROYALTY of West has been doing for thousands of years, GET IT – YOU MUST OPEN YOUR MIND, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE, LET ALONE WHAT THE FUCK IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

So do put some effort in seeing the ‘kindness’ of what I’m saying to you today, to feeling honored by that, particularly in relation to the ALTERNATIVE, which is way worse than this BITCH. The HONOR OF YOUR GIFT WILL BECOME YOUR HOME SOON, as it replaces the ever-decreasing cycle of THE FAKE FEELINGS from FAKE YOU, as you MENTALLY STABALIZE IN YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’, YOUR SUPERIORITY TO ALL THAT IS AROUND YOU, in the REAL world of YOUR OWN PERSONAL ‘DAEMON’ that is REAL YOU… Right now you don’t really deserve this kindness, this understanding of your level, do you, so know it’s ONLY being done for those amongst you who choose wisely, BUT for the rest of you, who don’t DO ANYTHING AT ALL, will find that kindness rapidly disappear, AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH BEING TREATED LIKE AN ANIMAL, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BE. Yes, my conscience will be clear whatever happens, kind of the fun bit of being a teacher, but what about YOUR CONSCIENCE, eh?

However, should you choose to repay its kindness of mine, DO TRY AND BE BRAVE, SO YOU CAN BE INTERESTING, I know your life is oh so important to you, but at an animal level it is all such a LOAD of NOTHING – FORMULAIC, BANAL CYCLES OF FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM, CONTROLLED BY MEANINGLESS ANXIETIES ABOUT MEANINGLESS THINGS. Yep, right now there is not much to see is there, so do Try and lighten up and have a go eh, would you not like to know who the fuck you are, what this is all about, what you can do, who you can be, and most importantly, THE POWER OVER YOUR LIFE YOU CAN ‘DISPLAY’. Trust me and take a look at your life, look at the circles you go in, and KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY ANSWERS DO YOU, you don’t have a fucking clue what you are doing, you just react in patterns of NOTHING. And how sad is that eh, IS THAT ALL YOU ARE, IS THAT WHAT YOU WILL GET TO REMEMBER ON YOUR DEATH BED, A FEW CHEAP THRILLS SURROUNDED BY ONE FAILURE AFTER ANOTHER. 

So know now, one of the greatest ‘power ups’ I can give you is this simple realization – YOU ARE FUCKING USELESS AT BEING AN ANIMAL BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ONE, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ‘BE GIFTED’, which is something else entirely – AN INDIVIDUAL. Then try and find the guts to HELP YOURSELF, stop splashing around in your own personal cesspool like its a big deal, like your problems matter to anyone in this world, AND BE AN INDIVIDUAL. You never know, if you can get out of the starting blocks someone like me might just notice you for long enough to help you BECOME YOURSELF, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE WORTH IT… 

SO START BEING ‘RUTHLESS’ AND BE ‘AN INDIVIDUAL’, SO YOU CAN STOP BEING ‘THE HERD’.

ONCE YOU GET STARTED YOU WILL SEE THAT YOUR VALUE IS MORE THAN HIGH ENOUGH, THERE IS NO NEED TO BE NICE.

YES, YOU MUST START AGAIN WITH YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR ENVIRONMENT, AND CHANGE, OTHERWISE NOTHING ELSE WILL.

YOU MUST CHANGE ‘WHO’ YOU ARE TO BECOME ‘WHAT’ YOU ARE, WHO YOU ARE NOW IS ‘WRONG’ AND, FRANKLY, DULL AS FUCK.

SO STOP COPING WITH BEING NOTHING, GIVE UP A COMFORTER OR 2, MOVE ON FROM YOUR NASTY, and let your REAL CHARACTER rear its BEAUTIFUL HEAD UP, KICK ITS HEELS and move the fuck on. Your BASIC INCONTINIENCE IS PATHETIC, your ancestors are spinning in their graves at the APPALLING quality of your trivial badness, SO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. Trust me, REAL YOU is way more fun than ‘what you have become’ AGAINST YOUR WILL, WAY MORE FUN THAT BEING A CHILDISH SLAVE, SURROUNDED BY ANIMAL RETARDS WHO ALL SECRETLY HATE YOU, so sell you out every single chance they get. You are being held down by your life choices, HELD AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS FROM WHICH THERE IS NO ESCAPE, UNLESS YOU CHANGE…

And its easy, ONCE YOU HAVE THE PERSONAL POWER TO DO IT, once you are SELF-POSSESSED ENOUGH to judge yourself against your ‘BETTER THAN’, indeed everything that is right for you is easy, by definition. DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW – WE WANT TO LOVE YOU HERE ON THE LEFT-HAND PATH OF LIFE, WE REALLY DO, BUT YOU NEED TO ‘BE LOVEABLE’ BY OUR STANDARDS, FIRST, SO BEST START THINKING SOME SHIT UP, EH – ‘YOUR GOD’, YOUR REAL YOU HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES, AND HE WILL HELP YOU IF YOU DO, PROMISE…

 

We crack on – today I will show you how to WANT TO DO this, but FIRST… we MUST add a warning:

Yes, You need to be CURIOUS today, because if you don’t make this change to your NORMAL approach to this POST then the trivial patterns of Western Society will undermine its effectiveness VERY EFFECTIVELY. These ‘lead ins’ are what I would do in person, with an obvious generalization to compensate for not knowing your type, OTHER THAN YOU ARE A GIFTED HEDONIST, so you understand ‘strong feeling’ better than NORMAL PEOPLE, AND SO BY DEFINITION YOUR CONDITIONING IS WEAKER IN CERTAIN KEY AREAS. This takes the form of a bridging piece as directly below before you read Part 4 itself – PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, IT IS CONVERSATIONAL IN NATURE BUT IT IS ALSO QUITE IMPORTANT…

See, I have to be a bit more precise and disciplined with you for this one, so BEFORE WE START, as with all things RADICAL, there is no such thing as A TOTALLY SAFE process, BUT UNLIKE PART 3, WHERE THE RISKS TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ARE STATISTICALLY VERY LOW, PART 4 TODAY IS ACTUALLY DANGEROUS BECAUSE IT IS POWERFUL, OTHERWISE IT WON’T WORK.

WE NEED TO WARN YOU THAT THIS POST IS NOT HARMLESS NEW-AGE CRAP, THIS POST WILL CHANGE YOU if you follow the METHOD IT CONTAINS.

SO… if YOU are going to read on today, YOU MUST TAKE the PRECAUTIONS as I DETAIL THEM IN THE BODY COPY, WITH THE GENERAL ONES, TO SET YOU UP,  BEING –

YOU MUST DO THIS IN TOTAL PRIVACY AS ‘SELF-CARE’ – THIS IS PERSONAL, TELL NO ONE.

PRACTICE THE ‘NOBODY’ PROCESS FROM PART 3 UNTIL YOU HAVE MADE SOME REAL PROGRESS, BECOMING WAY MORE SENSITIVE OF YOURSELF.

SPECIFICALLY – YOU MUST HAVE REDUCED YOUR ‘FEAR’, YOUR ‘OPINIONS’ AND ALL YOUR ‘CARES’ BEFORE THAT INTERNAL SENSITIVITY WILL DEVELOP AND BE DEEP ENOUGH TO DO THE PROCESS IN THIS POST, PART 4.

THEN GO GENTLY AND SENSITIVELY AT THE BEGINNING, WATCH WHAT HAPPENS, AND ADJUST YOUR DIRECTION AS REQUIRED.

See, Part 3 is no more dangerous than driving down a QUIET, familiar urban road at speed in the dark with your Full Beam on – it is UNLIKELY you will encounter anything BAD, AND YOU CAN EASILY AVOID THAT if you DO. It is basically a healing practice and can be used at varying levels of ‘trying’ with no real danger, much as you may experience levels of ‘anxiety’ which ARE SIMPLY part of that cleansing practice, SO IT IS BASICALLY ALL GOOD, unless you are particularly fragile, WITH AN IRRATIONAL FEAR OF THE DARK. Yes, THEY CALL IT HEART WASHING FOR A REASON, so it may sting a bit, but this is a RADICAL CHANGE, surely you EXPECTED IT TO ‘tickle a little’, DID YOU NOT? YOU are BREAKING FAKE YOU, so feel ‘happy’ when it stings – IT IS WORKING.

Part 4 takes the results of Part 3 and directs them at REAL YOU, so we can bring the POWER of Real You out of the shadows and into your CONSCIOUS life. It is like open water swimming on a calm sea, very close to the shoreline, but also in the dark, WITH NO LANE MARKINGS, JUST A SHINY WHITE BUOY TO AIM AT, all by itself, off in the distance, lit up in the moonlight. It’s just you and the water and the night, so you must both FLOAT and learn to SWIM in a consistent DIRECTION when you feel FAR MORE EXPOSED, no white lines and cat eyes TO GUIDE YOUR EVERY STEP this time. So it IS LIKELY You WILL encounter unknown and perhaps even dangerous things YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE, but they are easy to avoid by simply swimming around them, when recognized, with my help.

So what are these DANGERS? They are best referred to as ‘TRANSITIONAL’ STATES OF MIND, when something positive is starting to happen to you but your FAKE YOU takes it over and reframes it BADLY, turning it into some version of ANIEXTY or DISASSOCIATION from yourself, in attempt to re-assert its control, usually in concert with external people who don’t like any change in you, particularly if your relationship with them is Parasitic. Part 3.5 is specifically designed to deal with this issue on the 4th Way, to remind you what you are looking for, and not to get lost in the ‘weeds of yourself’, so I give you a whole range of things to work at when any of your darker moments occur, so you do not get stuck in them – YOU ARE STILL A CHILD, YOUR DARKNESSES ARE THE ISSUES OF A CHILD, DO NOT TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY, LAUGH AT THEM, AT FAKE YOU.

Yes, the GENERAL trick, in such cases, is to KEEP SWIMMING AND DON’T ‘PANIC’ (Sorry WW2…)… much as you should look up that delightfully ancient word for this one, just know if simply reading the above  ‘upsets you emotionally’ STOP READING NOW – reading the above will interest the GIFTED HEDONIST MORE THAN IT SCARES THEM, if you don’t feel more intrigued than scared then this stuff is not for you, you are most likely just an animal, and should fuck off.

Yes, of course, I’m being an ‘Old Bastard’ on purpose (the clue is in the name…) just be VERY CLEAR I’m DEADLY SERIOUS about this one – THERE IS A WHOLE ‘HOST’ OF REASONS ANIMALS SHOULD REALLY NOT DO ANY OF THIS. However much that will not stop the WORST of you, it should – THIS PRACTISE USUALLY affects animals very NEGATIVELY in an obvious, EMOTIONAL way, so they stop doing it anyway, BUT SOME FOLKS DON’T WANT TO ACCEPT THIS FAILURE, cause they are stupid. So it is important not to take my otherwise rather casual style too lightly for this one – THIS ONE IS SERIOUS.

The best way to say this is simply – THE 1ST STEP IN RAISING YOUR LEVEL IS A MUCH BROADER ‘LANDSCAPE OF CONSCIOUSNESS’ THAN YOU ARE ‘USED TO’, and there are many things there that you have never heard of or know how to deal with, and hence may scare you. It is the domain of Real You, therefore it is important to pre-define the bits you want to experience up front, so your Real You knows what to show you, SO YOU CAN NOT ONLY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT ALSO ENJOY IT, SO YOU LATCH ONTO IT. You CANNOT HEAD INTO THE BEAUTIFUL JUNGLE ‘STONED’, WEARING ‘LOUNGEWARE’ AND ‘FLIP-FLOPS’ BECAUSE SOME LITTLE THING, THAT IS OTHERWISE TRIVIAL AND TOTALLY HARMLESS, WILL ‘BITE YOU’ so you just run off screaming like a bitch. So You need the knowledge, experience and skills of an ‘Explorer’, a soldier, WHICH IS WHAT THE FRAMEWORK OF THE ARISTOS PROVIDES YOU AT A CHARACTER LEVEL – SPIRITUAL ELITISM, the Hedonist’s ‘TRUE CALLING’.

Then you will not only get much further, you will have a whole new level of fun and achievement in your life, WHICH WILL BECOME MUCH RICHER AND MORE POWERFUL. You would not believe how many GIFTED, women particularly, crash and burn at the first, often forced ‘experience’ of Spirituality simply because THEY GO INTO A DEPRESSION AFTER THE EXPERIENCE OF A LONGER THAN NORMAL ‘MOMENT OF DARK CONSCIENCE’. So, however much your Western Liberal upbringing may be fucking with your view of Elitism, know that it is part of your EVOLUTION, as Evolution needs Elitism to work – IT IS YOUR BODYGUARD, AND ON THIS PATH IT IS NOT OPTIONAL. So see part 3.5 for what it is, your training in ‘Self Defense’, without it you are simply stumbling about ‘like a baby’ expecting to find some New Age Nirvana that does not exist for you, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT PRE-DEFINED THE BITS YOU WANT TO SEE, WHAT YOU ARE ‘LOOKING FOR’, YOUR CHOICE OF PATH. See, there are many things in Spirituality YOU MUST CHOOSE, unless you want something ELSE to CHOOSE FOR YOU…

Don’t get me wrong, you are not ‘imagining’ this new level to be anything you want it to be, YOU ARE CHOOSING FROM THE FEW STABLE POSITIONS THAT ARE AVAILABLE AT THE START, AS YOU NEED A STABLE POSITION THAT WORKS FOR YOU IN THE REAL WORLD. See you are a HEDONIST, which is the ‘Way of Emotion’, combined with the 4th Way, the Way of the ‘Sly Man’, the people who know the short cuts from all the paths. You would not have a prayer at making the others work as a Hedonist, and a couple of them would drive you quite mad. This introduction to Spirituality must be REAL, but it must BENEFIT YOU, so please don’t underestimate just what a massive benefit the PATH OF THE ARISTOS is, why it exists and why up to a hundred years ago it WAS BY FAR THE MOST COMMON PATH IN THE WEST. All these other paths are some form of EXTREME, of suffering, of total dedication to a method that is simply beyond you, beyond any pattern you currently have, so when faced with any level of INSIGHT INTO CONSCIOUSNESS you don’t like, you will just ‘cut and run’.

So learn to DOUBLE DOWN and get used to TRIGGERING YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’ WHENEVER YOU NEED IT, AND I MEAN CASUALLY IN YOUR DAY-TO-DAY WALK OF LIFE, THEN YOU WILL FIND MANY OF EVEN YOUR EXISTING ISSUES, CHALLENGES, AND TEMPTATIONS TO ENTER INTO THE DARKNESS OF YOUR LITTLE-MORE-THAN-SOME-DUSTY-BROOM-CUPBOARD OF HEDONISM 101, WILL SIMPLY EVAPORATE. See, they were never ‘real’ in the first place, THEY ARE FAKE, JUST LIKE YOU ARE, inventions to both control you, and compensate you for being FAKE. If you don’t MAKE THIS CHOICE whatever appears will most likely be a REFLECTION OF THE ILL SHIT YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE TO YOURSELF, AND TRUST ME, YOU DON’T WANT THAT… 

 

Next for this preface… We must revisit the KEY ASPECT of the concept of ‘getting smarter’, so you understand it at a TEXTBOOK LEVEL – YOUR ‘MOMENTS OF TRUTH’ = REAL KNOWLEDGE,  outside of your interpretation, your existing patterns, what the GREEKS CALLED ‘GNOSIS’. 

Yes, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THIS PROCESS FACTUALLY, see the detail and the reason for that detail, because so you are so stupid you don’t understand anything beyond the 1st level, its FACE VALUE, YOU HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR ‘OBLIQUENESS’. If it is not dumbed down to the ABC of a child by ME, to the simple repetition as learning you get at school then YOU WILL BLANK IT. Thats the problem with the Gen Z world we live in – NOTHING REAL IS SIMPLE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND IT, BUT TO UNDERSTAND IT YOU MUST SEE IT IN ALL ITS COMPLEXITY FIRST. Right now you can’t because YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE NEED TO USE ‘MOMENT OF TRUTHS’ INSTEAD OF YOUR EXISTING PATTERNS OF SHITE, then replace your patterns with this new Wisdom, with FELT UNDERSTANDING, and build up from the OBLIQUENESS of ‘ROOT CAUSES’.

So today I have to start this cross-over, I HAVE TO MAKE YOU SMARTER, whilst explaining what SMART is in a very simple way, so you must start to understand what I call being oblique, being COMPLEX, teaching by master patterns, rather than teaching you like a 8y/o, who can’t stop fidgeting and trying to tell me what your DAD thinks. You can’t be a TRUTH NAZI ON THE 4TH WAY, you can’t dismiss everything that you think is correct because of 1 thing you DON’T AGREE WITH, SO ITS ALL WRONG – THAT IS WHAT WE CALL BEING A ‘SILLY BITCH’. The world is full of people who HAVE TO BE RIGHT TO JUSTIFY WHAT THEY ARE – GET OVER IT, YOU ARE CHILD, there is no need to justify it, all you need to see is that you adolescent fool, who BELIEVES the world works like ‘they’ tell you it does, like it does on Social Media, that in reality is just your trivial little middle-class FAKE version of life. And it is really not like that, sorry…

So THIS is what clever is – right now when you learn anything you do so by ‘Association’, so you compare it to WHO YOU ARE AS A PATTERN, and see if it is right or wrong as INFORMATION, with no emotional component IN RELATION TO YOUR EXISTING PATTERNS, like a DOMESTICATED ANIMAL. You make this choice unconsciously, based on whether it SUITS YOUR FAKE SELF TO BELIEVE IT, so you always ask does this RIGHT fit in what I already THINK, or does it threaten me in some way – in our modern world it is called CONFIRMATION BIAS, and it DAMNS YOU. Information is not knowledge, information as FACTS IS SIMPLY NOISE, until you add an emotional component to it that shows you ITS REALNESS, ITS TRUTH, then you can use it, via this ‘MOMENT OF TRUTH’, or more usually that it INTERESTS YOU BECAUSE IT IS SIMILAR TO A PREVIOUS MOMENT OF TRUTH.

Once you have this starting point of knowledge, this POINT OF INTEREST, you can start to build it out in all the required directions – in terms of distance in the 3 dimensions of where this new bit fits in around what you already know, then scale, then in terms of time, before assigning it a level of importance and a place in your head in terms of that importance, relative to other things of importance to you. See, you need to know everything about something if you want to get smarter about some stuff that matters, otherwise you are better off knowing nothing, like you currently do about everything. You must start to focus on what is IMPORTANT and VALUE it, and de-focus on the VAST MAJORITY OF SHIT IN YOUR LIFE, as it is simply degrading you with pointless unconnected information as FACTS. Today you must start to turn facts into knowledge, INTO GNOSIS NO LESS, as the Greeks once used to say, AND THEN CONNECT THEM TOGETHER.

So TODAY MY style CHANGES, to suit this change – YOU MUST START TO CONNECT THIS STUFF TOGETHER IN TERMS OF SCALE, TIME AND PRIORITY, SO YOU LEARN IT. Moments of Truth left isolated in your mind never ‘take’, but if they develop into knowledge they become new powerful patterns. Huge chunks of the New Testament are based on this premise, on teaching you new patterns that you then use on connected things, SO YOU GET SMARTER. But YOU can’t do this yet, so I have to do it for you, in terms of how this information is displayed and understood in TERMS OF THE ARRANGEMENT OF FACTS AROUND KEY PATTERNS.

Yes, this post is a distinct change in style from the last couple – THOSE POSTS HAD TO BE ‘PERSUASIVE’ IN NATURE, WHERE AS THIS ON HAS TO BE ‘DESCRIPTIVE’. See Part 3 and 3.5 had to change your mind by getting you started with the ‘Moment of Truth’ aspect of BEING GIFTED – INTUITIVE, FELT WISDOM, rather than ‘associative reason’, which is just a collection of the horseshit you currently think re-arranged in a new way. We had to move you away from the Knowledge that is defined and categorized by your current, shitty little patterns, little more than a ‘Cows Opinion’, so it does not matter (Sorry, Joey), toward knowledge as a REALIZATION. Today that doesn’t MATTER SO MUCH, as I expect you to have made some progress, so today we need you to get this at a ‘textbook’ level, because IT IS VERY DETAILED. 

Don’t get me wrong – of course, there has to be repetition and explanation, YOU HAVE THE MEMORY OF A ‘FRUIT FLY’ right now, but we can leave behind much of the DRAMA today, the need to BE EMOTIONAL reading the course of study itself. In time you will come to see just how important it is to be emotional while TRYING any of these processes, but it only matters while reading when you ARE AIMING FOR AN INTUITIVE INSIGHT TO ‘HIT’ YOU – to change your mind. That is not the point today, the point is to understand the PROCESS, by both seeing it at a higher level and KNOWING what the GOAL IS – for you to increasingly ‘FLESH OUT’ YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF RAISING YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, TO SEE HOW IT WORKS SO YOU CAN DO the TRYING IT seriosuly, AND THEN TAKE THE RESULTS OF TRYING IT TO THEN TRY IT BETTER, AND BETTER.

But this TRYING AND ITS FEEDBACK can not remain ABSTRACT, THEORETICAL, ISOLATED – YOU ARE COMMUNICATING WITH YOURSELF THROUGH THIS KNOWLEDGE, so you must build up what you KNOW from this post today around POINTS OF INTEREST, so you REMEMBER IT CORRECTLY AND IT HAS SOME PRACTICAL VALUE. Otherwise it is simply a memory test, and your FAKE YOU WILL DE-VALUE IT, so you FORGET. So when you read on now start to connect it all together, take a moment to add the knowledge around something you already believe for you AS YOU CAN RELATE TO IT, IT HAS ‘HIT’, place that new information, in front or behind it as a position, before or after it in time, more general or more detailed in terms of scale, and therefore more or less important in terms of this method.

That is how you get SMARTER, AND THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND HOW THIS PROCESS WORKS for you, because you will understand what is happening TO YOU – YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT MUCH, MUCH BETTER THIS WAY, SO THE RESULTS WILL BE MUCH, MUCH QUICKER AND MORE PROFOUND. However much I breeze over sections I would of kicked to death previously, don’t forget this new style today, BECAUSE THE EMPHASIS ON TRYING TO UNDERSTAND HAS NOW SHIFTED ON TO YOU, my job has changed…

So the GOAL OF OUR POST TODAY…

TODAY WE ARE GOING TO START TO RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS BY FOLLOWING A CIRCULAR ‘POSITIVE FEEDBACK’ PROCESS, IN 3 STAGES.

THE RESULTS OF THIS PROCESS WILL COME IN FITS AND STARTS, BIG CHUNKS AND SMALLER ONES, SO YOU MUST REPEAT IT WITH MORE EFFORT.

EVERYTHING PRIOR TO THIS HAS BEEN PREPARATION FOR THIS PROCESS, NOW YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO ‘DO IT’ AS AN EXPERIENCE.

THIS EXPERIENCE OF DOING WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND IT, AND IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM KNOWING IT FACTUALLY.

THE EXPERIENCE OF DOING WILL LEAD TO ‘GNOSIS’, TO ‘CERTAINTY’ NOT ‘OPINION’ BASED ON FALSE INSTINCT.

At the start this is what TRYING is, because TRYING is the payment for GNOSIS, so you must DO in order to LEARN, just reading this stuff will DO NOTHING, like you usually do – YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AS JUST FACTS, THESE FACTS MUST CONNECT TOGETHER FAST ENOUGH TO ‘HIT’, EMOTIONALLY.

However, to understand everything I have just written I MUST MAKE VERY CLEAR YOU UNDERSTAND SOMETHING SIMPLE – YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOW A CHILD AND AN ADULT ‘THINKS’ AS A PROCESS. In truth this is one of the FUNDAMENTAL PROCESS THAT MAKES US DIFFERENT TO THE ANIMALS, SO YOU MUST EMBRACE IT, AND START TO USE IT FOR ANY CONSCIOUS ‘DIRECTED THOUGHT PROCESS’. Be clear – this is US and THEM stuff, this is A KEY PILLAR OF DIFFERENCE, so you must make this change, however UNNATURAL IT FEELS TO YOUR ‘ANIMAL LEVEL’ AT THE START…

So, THIS IS HOW GROWN UPS ‘THINK’ IN COMPARISON TO HOW YOU DO…

• ALL ANIMALS THINK VIA THE USE OF OLD PATTERNS THAT GENERATE ‘FALSE INSTINCT’ AND THEREFORE TAKE THE ‘FIRST THING THEY THINK’ AS GOSPEL AND THEN SPIN ONE MORE THOUGHT AFTER ANOTHER IN THE SAME WAY, what 4th Wayers call INTERNAL CONSIDERING. 
• ALL ARISTOS THINK BY CHECKING WHAT THEY THINK AGAINST THE CONTEXT OF THE NOW, AND SO TAKE THEIR FIRST FALSE INSTINCT AND QUESTION IT FOR ‘TRUTH AS A FEELING IN THE NOW’, SO THEY STOP THEIR PATTERNS DEAD, what 4th Wayers call EXTERNAL CONSIDERING.  

ARISTOS CONTROL THEIR THOUGHTS, ANIMALS DO NOT, THEY LET THEIR THOUGHTS SPIRAL ROUND AND ROUND VIA THEIR PATTERNS. An Aristos forces the single PATTERN OF TESTING THEIR THOUGHTS because they know they maybe wrong, IT MAY JUST BE A FALSE INSTINCT, THAT HAS BEEN GENERALISED, SIMPLIFIED AND STORED IN VAGUE RELATION TO THIS SCENARIO, where the actual scenario requires more examination before YOU KNOW WHAT YOU THINK about it, which in time will become WHAT YOU FEEL ABOUT IT. To be fair many of the highly gifted already do a perverted form of this FEELING LED THOUGHT, but you too still have to go through the retraining to get that right, as above.

So YOU MUST LEARN TO ‘PAUSE FOR THOUGHT’, TO SELF CHECK YOUR THOUGHTS BEFORE YOU AGREE with THEM, see them as even useful, let alone true. Animals take ANY thought as valid until it is proved wrong by the outside world SIMPLY BECAUSE IT HAS OCCURED TO THEM, LIKE A LAZY CHILD, AS IT IS YOUR ‘OWN PERSONAL REALITY’, and is therefore in some fucked and self-destructive way VALUABLE. It’s not valuable, ITS A LEVEL OF STOOOOPID THAT DAMNS YOU TO EVER INCREASING LEVELS OF STOOOPID FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Your entire FAKE YOU IS BUILT ON THIS MECHANISM, and the strength of your Fake You is largely defined by how much you can or cannot self check your False Instincts for actual TRUTH against the cause of those thoughts externally. The cause of your thoughts internally IS NOT RELIABLE, AND OFTEN SELF DESTRUCTIVE –  IT IS SELF SABOTAGE, SO YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING THAT EVERY THOUGHT THAT OCCURS TO YOU IS VALID RIGHT NOW. These False Instincts are hugely affected by your MOOD SWINGS, and are mainly little more than your mood swing acting out via whatever is happening, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY DUMB AS FUCK.

One of the easiest ways to do this is decide what you want to say against the effect you are trying to create BEFORE YOU SAY IT, something that animals find almost impossible – you must learn to ‘pause for thought’ AS A SELF CHECK of what you are about to say against what you want out of it. When you start this you will find THAT 80% OF WHAT YOU NORMALLY SAY HAS NO VALUE WHATSOEVER, and the other 20% is made up of OLD PATTERNS of FALSE INSTINCTS THAT YOU HAVE NOT CHECKED FOR RELEVANCE TO NOW, TO WHAT YOU WANT, SO ARE OFTEN TOTALLY WRONG FOR WHAT YOU WANT, indeed they often seem to create the exact opposite of what you actually want now, BECAUSE IT IS FAKE YOU TALKING. Most GIFTED learn young the basic mechanism of always self checking their words in relation to what is dangerous to say in certain scenarios, SO YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO FILTER YOUR TRUTH, you just don’t do it much in day to today life, SO YOUR FAKE SELF OWNS YOU, CONTROLS YOU via AUTOMATIC REACTIONS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.

Do not UNDERESTIMATE THIS PRACTICE OF ‘CONSCIOUS TALKING’, it is often a major doorway into seeing your SELF-SABOTAGE, and is closely related to the DEAD FACE ISSUE, where you have no control over your reactive facial expressions, THAT THEN TOTALLY GIVE YOU AWAY, and dominate the effect you have on others UNCONSCIOUS TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. For many gifted the combination of these 2 issues can make their communications into an uncontrolled nightmare, where nothing makes sense, AS WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, as your secret cleverness is simply hiding your self-destruction from you. Try and SEE this clearly – RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU COME ACROSS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT, SO YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OVER IT IN ORDER TO FIX IT. Only then can you START TO TRUST IT, because CONTROL OVER YOURSELF IS WHAT POWER OVER YOURSELF FEELS LIKE…

The trick to doing this practice WELL AT THE START is very simple – STOP AND THINK ABOUT YOUR GOAL, THE EFFECT YOU WANT TO CREATE BY WHAT YOU ‘CHOOSE’ TO SAY BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, AT THE EXACT MOMENT YOU NEED TO REACT, NOT IN ADVANCE OF THE CONVERSATION ITSELF. YOU MUST STOP YOUR AUTOMATIC REACTION, YOUR FALSE INSTINCT, that is what to pause for thought is, and it will make you THINK MUCH, MUCH QUICKER THAN YOUR NORMALLY DO. Otherwise it will be a long, embarrassing pause, MUCH AS YOU NOW UNDERSTAND WHERE THE SLOW TALKING GRAVITAS, THIS ‘DIGNITY OF THE ARISTOS’ COMES FROM, THIS EXACT PRACTICE, which will help you when you read the rest of this post. BUT KNOW MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE – You must SPEED UP YOUR COGNITION, THINK FASTER TO DO THIS.   

Now, before we finish I’m going to show you how several of the Master Patterns on GNOSIS play out as actual insight, knowledge in local, useful thought. This is a small step in reality but it is A KEY PART OF BEING CLEVERER EVERY DAY, ALL THE TIME, SPECIFICALLY ABOUT BEING OPEN MINDED, OPEN TO A CHANGE IN WHAT YOU NORMALLY DO, TO TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN THE MOMENT, OUTSIDE OF YOUR EGO SAFETY, YOUR PATTERNS OF FALSE, CHILDISH INSTINCT.

Ok, so this is how you USE Master Patterns, the actual mechanisms of using these patterns that are generic, this is how they work to make you smarter, BY MAKING YOU MUCH QUICKER AT SEEING THINGS ‘CORRECTLY’:

1. BALANCE/THE GOLDEN MEAN – You must look at both sides of something, good and bad, before taking a position IN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE THAT IS THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN, AND THAT HEIGHT ALLOWS YOU TO SEE FURTHER MENTALLY. So for example Anticipation is a VERY USEFUL THING WHEN USED CORRECTLY, say as part of the Better Than EVOKING process from part 3.5, but is VERY DANGEROUS WHEN ABUSED BY FAKE YOU AS ‘A GLAMOUR’. Never pick a side as Right or Wrong in ALL CASES FOR ANY LOCAL ACTIVITY, because you will make yourself DUMBER for everything else that is not the same  as that case, collect a large number of cases and see the MIDDLE OF THE PROCESS, WHICH IS USUALLY THE TRUTH, but not always…
2.  PRECURSORS/TELLS – You need to SEE IT COMING, Fake You needs to set up many of the worst situations in your life, they are not simple, so you often have many opportunities to see something happening in advance, as most people Fake You use the same simple cycles over and over again, BUT YOU MUST LOOK FOR THEM AND RECOGNIZE THEM ‘NEXT TIME’. A classic example is Conscious Talking, where when Fake You is 100% active you will find that in the moment of doubting what you want to Say your mind goes BLANK, and you can either say what Fake You wants you to say or NOTHING, and its actually hard to say nothing. This is a Tell you are acting completely unconsciously, with no thought, SO STOP, AND STEP BACK BEFORE YOU DOING SOMETHING STUPID, BECAUSE FAKE YOU IS DRIVING AND IS ABOUT TO MAKE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU.
3. STACKING/JIGSAW CONCEPT –  You need to combine small TRUTHS into BIGGER TRUTHS in order to USE them in your development effectively, to build islands of stability that you can return to in thought that you are more sure of, and ones that you are now less sure of, in order to CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THINGS. You do this by taking KNOWLEDGE as Moments of Truth, and starting to place other relevant facts around them, while taking FALSE, fake things you used to think and assigning them as False Instincts of FAKE YOU. This is how you build the concept of your Deputy Steward, your Aristos from positive aspects of yourself that want you to improve, separate to the negative aspects of your character that seek your self-destruction, that BLEED YOU. Stack the positive stuff UP, make it bigger, give it authority through trusting it, but tear the negative stuff down, de-construct it into small bits, and take away its authority over you.
4. DISTANCE/WINNING BY LOSING – You need to devalue what you ‘want’ in the moment, to get what you want overall as a goal, by using the moment to deliver that goal, EVEN IF YOU ‘LOSE’ THE MOMENT. You must stand back and learn to manipulate your current character, and devalue what it wants – YOUR CURRENT CHARACTER IS SHIT, LIKE A LOWLY RATED CHAR IN A COMPUTER GAME AT THE START, BUT YOUR ARE THE PLAYER, SO YOU HAVE DISTANCE FROM THE CHAR which enables you to look at it and see what you want to improve and what you want to remove, change, get better stuff to replace. So for example you must almost devalue your EGO SAFETY AS A REACTION, BY BEING PREPARED TO DOUBT YOURSELF, your opinion, your old normal, as it is part of FAKE YOU, SO IS ALMOST ALWAYS WRONG or DESTRUCTIVE TO WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT.

So to finish I will GIVE YOU the first stable conclusion of this method – YOU MUST SEE THAT THE ONLY THING TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF, AS FEAR ITSELF, FEAR OF ANYTHING THAT IS NOT ACTUAL PHYSICAL DEATH IS FAKE YOU CONTROLLING YOU. You must SEE IT coming, as what it REALLY is, when you feel that IRRATIONAL, EGOIC fear in the moment, AND ‘PAUSE FOR THOUGHT’, so you can try and see what Fake You is actually trying to get you to do, so you can STOP IT. Then you will start to get much quicker at SEEING THE TRUTH IN THE MOMENT AS YOU START TO STACK ALL THESE NEW PATTERNS OF TRUTH TOGETHER, even if you feel compelled to go through with your reaction at the start, as you are not BIG ENOUGH YET.

Understand this VERY CLEARLY NOW – Fake You makes you CONSCIOUSLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING NOW, THAT UNCONSCIOUSLY DELIVERS SOMETHING ELSE YOU REALLY DON’T CONSCIOUSLY WANT = SELF HARM. That is how Fake You works, that is why your life is shit, WHY YOU ARE WAY LESS, WAY DUMBER, AND WAY MORE CONFUSED AND UNHAPPY THAN YOU SHOULD BE, AS A GIFTED ARISTOS. You must start to see this happening at the time and STOP IT. 

YOU MUST LEARN TO FEAR YOUR FAKE YOU ENOUGH TO BE ALWAYS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR IT, ITS SIGNATURE AND GET BETTER AT SEEING IT COMING.

START WITH SMALL THINGS, FORGETFULNESS, CLUMSINESS, FRIDGE BLINDNESS, THEN FIND BIGGER TYPES OF YOUR ‘KNOWN’ SELF HARM.

THERE ARE MANY TELLS TO SEE THESE BUT THE EASIEST ONES TO SPOT ARE ALWAYS MOOD CHANGES JUST BEFORE THE ACCIDENT OCCURS. 

THEN YOU WILL START TO GET MUCH BIGGER AND MUCH QUICKER, AS THAT FEAR OF FAKE YOU WILL WORK FOR YOU, NOT AGAINST YOU.

YOU WILL ACTUALLY RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF NORMAL CONSCIOUSNESS SIMPLY BY TRYING TO DO THIS, AND IT IS REALLY EASY… The greatest GIFT a Gifted Seeker can ever give themselves at the start is the MOMENT OF TRUTH where you REALIZE your LITTLE ACCIDENTS ARE NOT ACCIDENTAL, they are planned in advance by your FALSE unconscious patterns that actually WANT THEM TO HAPPEN. See, those same patterns are also RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BIG ACCIDENTS, the life-changing stuff, often by combining several small things as accidents together to FUCK YOU ON PURPOSE, over and over again. So PAY ATTENTION, and get them small – ITS ALWAYS EASY TO START WITH THE SMALL STUFF WHEN YOU ARE CHANGING. 

SO YOU MUST LEARN TO ‘FEAR YOURSELF’, YOUR HABITUAL PATTERNS AS NOT NORMAL, AS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.

THEN YOU WILL LEARN TO SEE FAKE YOU ‘DISTINCTLY’, AS SEPARATE TO ‘YOU’, BECAUSE YOU WILL LOOK FOR IT AND SEE THESE FALSE INSTINCTIVE REACTIONS POP INTO YOUR HEAD LIKE AN ACTUAL INSTINCTIVE PAIN OCCURS WHEN YOU CUT YOURSELF.

SO YOU WILL LEARN WHAT YOU CAN TRUST CONSCIOUSLY, ‘OVER’ WHAT YOUR UNCONSCIOUS TWAT IS ACTUALLY DOING TO YOU.

BUT DON’T GET ALL SCARED AND UPSET, YOUR FAKE YOU IS A ‘BAD JOKE’, so YOU MOCK IT LIKE A FOOL – THIS IS THE REASON THE MEDIEVAL ARISTOCRACY OF OLD USED TO HAVE RETAINERS WHO ‘ACTED THE FOOL’ AND TOOK THE PISS OUT OF THEM… 

SEE THIS IS THE ARISTOS WAY, WE ‘DEPRECIATE’ OUR FAKE CHARACTER, AND LET OUR ‘QUALITY’ DO THE TALKING.

SO LEARN TO FEAR ‘MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF’, IN FRONT OF YOUR REAL YOU, YOUR CONSCIENCE, IT IS BY FAR THE EASIEST WAY INTO A CONTINUAL, CONSISTENT LEVEL OF FORCED SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS.

THIS FEAR WILL COME NATURALLY TO YOU IF YOU ARE GIFTED, YOU MAY EVEN REMEMBER IT FROM CHILDHOOD…   

YOU MUST GET SMARTER TODAY, SO YOU MUST BE SELF-AWARE, AND FEAR OF YOURSELF IS A GREAT WAY TO DO THAT, TO USE YOUR ATTENTION ON YOURSELF TO HELP YOURSELF RATHER THAN BE LOST IN ABSTRACT, FANTASY DAYDREAMS OR THE FALSE OBLIGATIONS YOU NEED TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO DO ANYTHING. See at your level of animal consciousness you need to be forced to DO anything CONSISTENTLY, otherwise, you fall right back into COMFORT – THE LIFE OF A SLAVE IS ALL YOU KNOW, TO THE POINT THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT IT NOW. You cannot go on with this, with BEING CONTROLLED BY THE FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM CYCLE AS YOU BOUNCE BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN COMFORT AND OBLIGATION – YOU MUST THINK FOR YOURSELF, DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, AND DEVELOP YOURSELF.

Be clear, as you really should of figured out by now, your life at an ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS is made up of ROUTINES, the same patterns OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and you cannot change your reliance on routines until you LEVEL UP. However you CAN GET SMARTER AND SEE WHAT IS HIDDEN IN YOUR NORMAL BY FAKE YOU, AND CHANGE YOUR ROUTINES OFTEN, AS A NEW MASTER ROUTINE IN ITSELF, FOR THE SAKE OF CHANGE – CHANGE YOURSELF AS A HABIT, do and be something different AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. See it simply – the level of a comfort chasing moron that is the ANIMAL LEVEL is not good enough, is not going to get you anywhere because simply by chasing that comfort as SMART, AS CLEVER ‘YOU’ will keep you trapped in your NORMAL NOTHINGNESS FOREVER. You are controlled by THE WAY your level WORKS, AND IT IS A VERY POWERFUL DEVICE BECAUSE IT RELIES ON A SIMPLE TRICK THAT IS SO SMALL AND ROUTINE IT IS VERY HARD TO SEE IN THE MOMENT OF CONSCIOUS CHOICE.

Look at it this way – I once taught a good, committed student at an early stage to lessen his fear, for which he used heights as his test, and got to the point he wanted to SHOW ME THE IMPROVEMENT. So I told him to climb out of a ground-floor window and then up onto the flat roof of the sunroom we were sitting in AS AN EASY TEST. He climbed outside, picked a spot and attempted to lever himself up over the eves and drainpipe of the roof 3 times, each time falling back onto the grass before cursing and trying again. I then got up and climbed through the window, looked around and saw that to the side of the window the frame was built in such a way that you could simply zigzag up the side BY STEPPING UP, so walked up and stood on the roof IN NO MORE THAN 3SECS. I then asked him why he did not see that, and after a moments thought he confessed he did see the easy root, but ALSO SAW THE CONCRETE PATH BELOW IT, WHERE HIS CHOSEN ROUTE HAD GRASS UNDERNEATH IT, SO IT WAS (SLIGHTLY) SAFER TO FALL ON THE GRASS THAN THE CONCRETE. He had already accepted he was going to fail, so he chose the path OF THE LEAST PAINFUL FAILURE FOR HIM, FOR HIS BODY AND HIS EGO.

Now I want you to see this as clear as you can, so understand – HE CHOSE THE WORST ROUTE POSSIBLE BECAUSE THE EASIEST, QUICKEST AND BEST ROUTE LOOKED MORE DANGEROUS IF HE FAILED ‘BY COMPARISON’. All change is like this, BECAUSE FAKE YOU WANTS YOU TO FAIL, SO GETS YOU TO MAKE VERY POOR CHOICES BY THE USE OF AVERSION TO SIMPLE THINGS. This CON is not rare, not complicated, not hard to arrange so only done for big stuff, THIS IS THE PREFERRED CON OF EVERYONES FAKE YOU, to make success look hard or dangerous when it is not, IN ORDER TO DRAG YOU TO FAILURE, every fucking day. It is childs play, BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS SMART TO ALWAYS CHOOSE COMFORT OVER CHALLENGE, AND EVEN WHEN YOU CHOOSE CHALLENGE YOU STILL LOOK FOR THE EASIEST, SAFEST ROUTE, instead of the BEST ROUTE to the goal. This is how ALL fake you wear you down, get you to both expect and accept failure, TO THE POINT THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TRY ANYMORE BECAUSE, HELL – WHAT’S THE POINT.

You must break this SPELL OVER YOU before you raise your level, so you must STEP UP AND USE THE STUFF I AM GIVING BOTH ABOVE AND BELOW ON YOUR OWN LIFE, EVERY DAY, TO BREAK THAT SPELL – ‘THE GOAL’ IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ‘THE PROCESS’, so PLAN BACK FROM THE GOAL TO YOU IN ORDER TO PICK THE BEST ROUTE, NOT FROM WHERE YOU THINK YOU ARE STARTING TO THE GOAL, AS THAT WILL ALWAYS ‘LOOK HARDER’ BY COMPARISON TO OTHER DUMBER ROUTES YOU COULD TAKE, GIVEN WHERE YOU ARE STANDING NOW. Imagine ‘being at the goal’ and then go back in reverse to where you are now as best you can and LOOK AT WHAT EMERGES ON THE WAY – YOUR SUCCESS IN REACHING THE GOAL MATTERS MORE THAN YOUR COMFORT OF THE PROCESS, OBVIOUSLY, so why care about the process…

Always choose the path of ‘most challenge against your FEAR’, always say FUCK IT, lets give it a go first AND see how far you get, RATHER THAN SEEING THE FAILURE, THE DANGER, THE LACK OF COMFORT IN THE ROUTE, and therefore NOT EVEN TRY IT. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, BUT I DO, so You must STEP UP and start to use this KNOWLEDGE TODAY, it cannot remain theoretical, like a hobby, it has to BECOME YOUR LIFE, YOUR EVERY DAY – see that at the next level of real ‘GOAL BASED CHALLENGE’ fighting your issues will actually BECOME ‘YOUR COMFORT’.

Trust me, if you don’t STEP UP then you will continue to step-down, and when you have ‘bled out’ enough, no matter how highly gifted you once were, YOU WILL START TO FEEL EMPTY, EXHAUSTED ALL THE BLOODY TIME, drained of your life force, listless, disinterested, AND CONFUSED, MORE AND MORE CONFUSED BY YOUR STUPID ANIMAL MOOD SWINGS. Yes, the stereotypical FATE of the ‘Party Girl’ waits for all unschooled gifted, to become so drained by your hedonism, your BASIC INCONTINENCE that all you can do is FEEL VAGUE SENSATION, you have no other choices, AND END UP DRIFTING TOWARD THE EMPTINESS OF DEPRESSION, AS THE NUMBNESS OF ‘SPIRITUAL WEAKNESS’ OVERWHELMS YOU, all dazed and confused in a medicated haze.

Then you won’t even remember your treasured FUN, ANY OF IT, as eventually you won’t even remember yourself – YOU WON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE ANYMORE…

GET SMARTER, FAST – YOUR SPIRITUAL DECLINE ‘IS’ YOUR INCREASING STUPIDITY, YOUR ROBOTIC UNCONSCIOUSNESS. 

KNOW THAT IF YOU ALREADY ‘BLACK OUT’ WHILE AWAKE YOUR LEVEL IS ALREADY DANGEROUSLY LOW – LEARN TO FEAR YOURSELF!

ONCE YOU START HAVING ‘PANIC ATTACKS’, THE IRRATIONAL ANXIETIES OF ‘DESPERATION’, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIX WITHOUT A STRONG TEACHER…   

But PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY FUCKING PLEASE DON’T DELUDE YOURSELF – DON’T MAINLINE YOUR STUPIDITY LIKE A DRUG OF CHOICE TO ABSOLVE YOURSELF OF BLAME, WEAR YOUR IGNORANCE LIKE A SUIT OF EGOIC ARMOUR IN AN ATTEMPT TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM BLAME. Don’t COMFORT YOURSELF THAT WHAT HAPPENS THESE DAYS IS ‘NORMAL’, THAT SEVERE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ARE A ‘COFFEE TABLE’ TALKING POINT – THEY CAN’T FIX THIS SHIT, THEY JUST MAKE IT HURT A LITTLE BIT LESS AS YOU SLOWLY GO CRAZY. Medical science can’t help you, ONLY YOU CAN HELP YOU, there are enough ‘lost souls’ in this world, they don’t need anymore – SO STOP ACTING LIKE ONE.

YOU MUST KEEP YOUR ENERGY FOR YOURSELF TO BECOME YOURSELF, NOT GIVE YOURSELF AWAY FOR THE PETTY THRILL OF FEELING IT GO…

DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? YOUR ‘FAKE FUN’ IS DESTROYING YOUR ABILITY TO HAVE ‘REAL FUN’, YOU ARE CHASING YOUR OWN DEATH…

BUT WHEN YOU LEARN TO USE THE CAUSE OF YOUR BASIC, YOUR REAL YOU TO GROW YOU, THEN YOU ‘CHASE LIFE’ – YOU GET BIGGER.

MANY OF YOU WILL BE SURPRISED JUST HOW LITTLE DIFFERENCE THERE IS BETWEEN INCONTINENCE AND GROWTH, AS FOR MANY IT IS A SIMPLE TWIST AT THE END OF YOUR BASIC, WHERE YOU ‘COME TO’, INSTEAD OF ‘GOING AWAY’, INDEED MANY OF YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY STUMBLED ONTO IT, AS I DID… BUT THAT IS NOT ENOUGH, YOU MUST KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, OTHERWISE YOUR BASIC IS A LOTTERY, AND YOUR FAKE YOU WILL ALWAYS ENSURE YOU LOSE MORE THAN YOU WIN, SO YOU HAVE TO FIX YOUR BASIC INCONTINENCE BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER – TO ‘STABILIZE’ YOURSELF…

SO BE CLEAR –

ALL UNSCHOOLED GIFTED HEDONISTS WHO GO ON WITH THEIR BASIC INCONTINENCE, EXPANDING IT IN A VAIN ATTEMPT AT CHASING ‘THE MAGIC’ OF IT WEAKEN THEMSELVES INTO DEPRESSION, OR THEY GO INSANE AND DIE, EVEN BY THEIR OWN HANDS, OR THE HANDS OF THEIR PARASITES.

Yes, you have guessed it, THIS IS THE WAY OF THE ARISTOS, THE ‘MIDDLE WAY’ OF SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT, we teach you how to ‘FIND YOU’, we don’t teach you how to hand yourself over to the ‘One God’ or to REAL YOU either, we teach you how to BE YOURSELF IN THIS WORLD, BETWEEN THE 3 BITS OF YOU THAT EXIST – REAL YOU (YOUR SPIRIT), CONSCIOUS YOU THE OBERSEVER (YOUR SOUL) AND FAKE YOU (YOUR BODY). Yes, remember, your FAKE YOU DOES NOT EXIST AS A CHARACTER, it is simply a set of patterns you identity with as memories in your body, a bad tattoo that you have never been arsed enough to remove, but which of you could smash with little more effort than it takes to drop a glass if you knew how. Just as long as you FOLLOW MY GUIDANCE TODAY, AND HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THERE WHEN YOU DO, OTHERWISE IT WILL FEEL LIKE EMPTY ‘DISSASSOCIATION’…

Yes, You must walk your own path, be brave enough to FIND THE MIDDLE OF YOU BY ‘CREATING THAT MIDDLE OF YOU’ OUT OF ALL THAT BEST OR USEFUL IN YOU. See many of you will discover that being REAL YOU, FROM BACK IN SOME DISTANT TIME AND PLACE IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE, just as I did, AND THAT IS FINE – THAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS PATH, AS IT IS THE PATH OF THE UNGODLY, THE NONE RELIGIOUS, WHO REFUSE TO SERVE SOMEONE ELSE GOD, just like you are.  But don’t worry, however dramatic that sounds, as THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE ALREADY TRYING TO DO, JUST VERY, VERY BADLY, because no one has explained this stuff to you before – NO ONE HAS EXPLAINED THE REASON THAT CLASS SYSTEMS EXIST BECAUSE THEY HAVE TOO – THEY ARE NATURAL ‘LEVELS OF CONSCIOUSNESS’. Everyone in the world of spirit knows this, there are 10,000S of people walking your planet right now that FOLLOW THESE SYSTEMS, and even YOUR EVERYDAY Catholic priests LOOK DOWN ON YOU.

Yes, you MUST GET SMARTER TODAY, GET BIGGER, SO PUT SOME SLOW, BIG SOUNDSTAGE MUSIC ON IN THE BACKGROUND AND READ THIS PREFACE OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU FEEL YOU HAVE GOT BIGGER. Does not have to be Wagner, even Lisa Gerrard, just try and find some none-animal, none trance mania music to help awaken your spirit enough for you to be conscious OF IT AS A MOOD, even ‘Don’t Blame Me’ or ‘Take me to Church’ is better than nothing but maybe try something a little more ‘Gods Country’ this time, ‘Wasted On You’,  hell even ‘Buy Me a Boat’, should you have found the spiritual joy that is ‘country music’, but do try and kick it up a notch, eh. Good, profound music is your friend on this path WHEN IT MAKES YOU BIGGER, BUT IT IS YOUR ENEMY WHEN IT MAKES YOU SMALL AND TENSE, LIKE A LITTLE HARMLESS ANIMAL, LOST IN YET ANOTHER ANTI-HERO FANTASY OF POWER, SEX AND VIOLENCE, like a lonely child left playing with toys lost in some imaginary dream world, because no one serious bothers with them anymore = YOUR WHOLE SAD LITTLE LIFE.

So know – I DON’T BLAME YOU, I get that your ‘LOVE MADE YOU CRAZY’ (Sorry, Taylor), and now the magic of you may consist of little more than metaphorically slashing yourself with a razor for the trivial enjoyment of whichever banal little type of parasite is passing by. I get it, WAY BETTER THAN MOST TEACHERS OF MY ‘ILK’, I REALLY BLOODY DO, so it is now TIME FOR ‘YOU’ TO ‘GET THE FUCK OVER IT’ and move on – WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH IS SIMPLY THE PRICE OF ENTRY TO ‘THE PATH OF THE ARISTOS’, so lets hope there is still some ‘Box Office’ left in you, eh babe. Yes, you may well have passed the first test, but there are plenty more to come, AND THE ONE IN THIS POST TODAY IS ‘A BIGGIE’ because it’s an ‘ACID TEST’, as you might say, AS THAT IS HOW ‘DIGNITY’ WORKS – DIGNITY IS THE POWER THAT ENABLES ‘THE FEAR OF MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF’, which works like an ACID ON FAKE YOU…

So lets get on with shall we… let help you get over your ‘Sweet But Psycho’ (Sorry Ava), your ‘Dark Horse’ (Sorry Katy), your inner Evanesence, lets see if we can DO SOMETHING WITH YOU, if you are US, or sadly if all of your ‘freak show’ has been for nothing, AND YOU ARE THEM – your current character is simply a public excuse for being a private nothing, so why not stop being nothing instead, eh..? Or do you want until you are desperate, TILL YOUR ENERGY IS SO LOW YOU NEED FEAR TO GET OUT OF BED, until you need 3 pills a day to cope with CHAT MESSAGES, until you ‘BLEED OUT’, whilst comforting yourself that this is perfectly acceptable now, AS YOU ARE STILL CONSUMING…

Given all the prep I’ve just given you the rest of this today is really SIMPLE, just as long as you see through the complexity first, AND OPEN YOUR MIND – TODAY I’M GOING TO PUT SOME MANNERS ON YOU, so best get used to being honest, at least with yourself. Today you will finally see WHAT THE PATH OF THE ARISTOS IS, THE PATH OF ROYALTY, THE PATH THAT WAS PERFECTED IN THE WEST THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before being forgotten as a relic in our age of SOCIAL JUSTICE FOR DEGENERATE ANIMALS, which is even more bizarre when you realize its an ‘equality’ they don’t even want, as all they really want is INSTA fame AND STRONGER, CHEAPER, FASTER drugs, SO THEY CAN FEEL FAKE ‘BETTER THAN’ for a moment…

THAT’S NOT YOU IS IT, you have not become professionally FAKE now, YOUR POINT IS NOT TO GET DORKS TO GIVE YOU ‘MONEY FOR NOTHING’? You are not picking a side in some GLOBAL CONFLICT, ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION DEBATE OR RELIGIOUS WAR based purely on its ability to HELP YOU develop enough CLOUT to monetize and get rich, so you can quit the job you hate, and work from some TASELESSLY decorated, but artfully photographed condo like a ‘Mattress Actress’, alternatively posting pictures of your heavily damaged ass, your bland tropical vacations and the shiny new Porsche 911 that you can’t drive.

Sorry, but if it is then best fuck off now, we wish you well of course, but simply point out if you are prepared to PROSTITUE YOUR ANIMAL ADVANTAGE AND MAKE UP SKILLS WHILST STICKING INCREASINGLY BIZARE OBJECTS INTO YOURSELF FOR THE SAKE OF AN EASY LIFE THEN YOU HAVE NO VALUES, so deserve what is going to happen to you – YOU HAVE FALLEN BELOW THE NOISE FLOOR OF LIFE, SO NO ONE CARES HUN. Change or Die, surely you can’t be surprised by this – PEOPLE PLEASING IS SIMPLY LAZY, AND HAS BEEN SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME, so you can’t be surprised when everyone assumes YOU ARE NOTHING…

For the Rest of You, the Best of You, I hope you ENJOY READING THIS AS MUCH AS I DID WRITING IT – so let’s keep it real today, LET’S MOVE YOU ON, ‘FAST’, by showing you how you should FEEL, ALL THE BLOODY TIME, AND ‘WHY’ YOU SHOULD FEEL LIKE THAT, SO YOU CAN ‘ACTUALLY’ DO IT… Yeah, its cool, your ‘GRAB A COP GUN KINDA CRAZY’ (Sorry again Ava) was just a phase, so best get the fuck over it, while you still can, you silly bitch – GET SMARTER BY SEEING YOUR PATTERNS, UNDERSTANDING HOW BAD PATTERNS WORK, AND THEN GET BETTER PATTERNS, your BASIC IS NOT FUN, IT NEVER WAS, YOUR BASIC INCONTINENCE IS DESIGNED TO KEEP YOU STUCK AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF NOTHING, FOREVER, BY LETTING FAKE YOU ‘BLEED REAL YOU’.

And you already know this – SO PLEASE BURN THIS INTO YOUR HEAD: 

RIGHT NOW I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO, BECAUSE YOU ARE A STEREOTYPE OF YOUR KIND – A SOCK PUPPET.

THERE IS NO INDIVIDUALITY IN YOUR CHARACTER, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CHARACTER, YOU ARE TOTALLY FAKE.

YOU ARE CANNON FODDER, A BADLY SCRIPTED MINOR BADDIE IN THE EARLY LEVELS OF A GAME DESIGNED TO BE ‘EASY TO KILL’…

YET WITH A SMALL AMOUNT OF EFFORT YOU COULD BE WHAT YOU SHOULD BE, WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO BE: 

AN INDIVIDUAL = SELF-POSSESSED = ‘THE BIG PICTURE’. 

So decide now, DO YOU want to spent the rest of your life being CREEPY OR CLASSY, SADASS OR BADASS? If any of the above HIT you as REAL then its BADASS, so keep reading, but if you are still looking for ‘petty advantage’, for ‘gossip’, for ‘lifestyle tips’ as simple facts, then its SADASS, so know if you decide to keep reading I WANT YOU TO FAIL, SO I’VE MADE THIS MUCH HARDER FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND, just like all 4th way teachers have done since the beginning of time…

But the real reason for all this additional PREFACE today is that I have become aware that several GIFTED folks I know who read this have failed to get some of the foundation concepts of the 4th way at the right level of priority – SO I HAVE USED THIS PART TO MAKE THEM CLEARER AND IMPORTANT. Therefore don’t be SHY, read this again AND AGAIN if you did not feel the HIT, at least as an ‘unexpected level of interest’ in something you need to DO, now…

Did that help, did any of that HIT..? Feeling a little smarter about yourself already? Ok, so we START, sure many of you have learnt something and now have some Islands of interest, SO LETS GET TO THE GUTS OF IT NOW – TODAY WE HAVE TO LIFT YOU OUT OF YOUR ‘MOMENT TO MOMENT’ REALITY AND START TO SEE THE BIG PICTURE, ABOVE THOSE MOMENTS, ALL THE TIME. This is the key FELT DIFFERENCE between an ANIMAL AND AN ARISTOS – see even when Animals TRY and be BIGGER they are just being bigger in that MOMENT, shortly to be replaced with a much smaller moment. Today you must first grasp that to INCREASE YOUR LEVEL MEANS YOU HAVE TO JUMP TO A LEVEL ‘ABOVE YOUR MOMENTS’, that literally exists AT THE SAME TIME AS YOUR MOMENTS BUT IS NOT THE SAME.

You cannot try and think this change, YOU MUST HAVE THE SPARE ENERGY TO USE FOR THAT JUMP AND THEN ‘TRY’ AND FEEL YOUR WAY TO THAT CHANGE – RAISING YOUR LEVEL IS AN EXERCISE IN FOCUSED ‘SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS’. So you must put yourself in a specific MOOD and then direct your ATTENTION in a specific way in order to make that JUMP, you must do it over and over again until those JUMPS get higher and higher, until one day they start to STICK, and you find the ‘ledge’ above your current level that you can balance on, and keep that level. How slow or fast this goes is TOTALLY DEPENDANT ON WHAT YOU STARTED WITH, WHAT IS LEFT OF IT, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY WHAT YOU HAVE AVAILABLE TO YOU IN THE MOMENT OF ‘TRYING’, HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE TO BUY THIS JUMP, that you have not pissed away on your BASIC. So we have to work on SAVING YOUR ENERGY at the same time, OTHERWISE ‘THE POVERTY OF YOUR SOUL’ WILL MAKE YOU FAIL, as you simply don’t have the money left to BE SOMEBODY…

TODAY WE HAVE TO DRAG YOUR ATTENTION OUT OF THE MOMENT.

WE DO THAT SO YOU CAN BOTH ‘SAVE YOURSELF’ AND ‘BUILD YOURSELF’.

TO WORK FAST WE NEED A TO USE A POWERFUL DRUG YOU WERE BORN WITH – ‘DIGNITY’.

SO YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LET YOUR BODY MAKE MUCH MORE OF IT, AND THEN USE IT EFFECTIVELY.

THEN YOU WILL ENJOY BEING ‘BETTER THAN’, SO YOU WILL CHASE THIS SUPERIOR FEELING BY DOING ‘BETTER THAN’. 

Then you will CHANGE, because you want to, as OLD YOU WILL BE A SAD, TRIVIAL, CRAVEN LITTLE TWAT, you neither like or recognize. But it is not enough to just lose interest in your moments via lessening your FEAR, you must ACTIVELY CREATE AN ALTERNATIVE TO YOUR MOMENTS, that is bigger, longer and stronger MOOD STATE. See all your current moments are made up of one petty animal feeling after another, which is why you chase your BASIC AS A WAY TO TRY AND CONTROL THEM. If you don’t CREATE THIS NEW MOOD then you simply fall into the category of the DISINTERESTED ROYAL, where ‘everything is so boring’, because you no longer have any FEAR driven ‘CARES’ – IT IS STILL FAKE YOU WHO ‘DOES’. 

It is much easier to DO ALL OF WHAT FOLLOWS WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU ARE ‘STUCK IN A MOMENT AS A MOOD, AND YOU CAN’T GET OUT’, indeed as you age you will become progressively stuck in the same moment, and your world will get VERY, VERY SMALL. Your moments become your HIDEOUT from yourself, and hence the PRISON YOU LIVE IN, because you can never leave, AS YOUR PETTY MOOD JUST KEEPS REPEATING ITSELF. So you must get used to the concept of BOTTLE, in its original medieval sense – A CONTAINER FOR ALL YOUR PETTY MOODS, INDEED AS THE ABILITY TO BOTH SEE AND CONTAIN MULTIPLE MOODS AT THE SAME TIME, without being affected by them, because THAT CONTAINER IS YOUR SPIRIT, and its SIZE AND POWER directly relate to your courage.

Never underestimate this simple lesson to link your SPIRIT as your courage to the ability to overcome your petty FAKE YOU moods in the moment, MANY GIFTED HEDONISTS I HAVE TAUGHT HANG ALL THEIR INITIAL PROGRESS FROM THIS SIMPLE REMINDER – YOUR BOTTLE must be BIGGER THAN THIS LOWER MOOD, SO YOU CAN CONTAIN IT UNTIL IT PASSES = ARISTOS. See, in a very real sense that is what your SPIRIT IS, A CONTAINER FOR THE REST OF YOU, so you need to stop being lost in the current shitty little contents of that Bottle, and BE THE BOTTLE ITSELF, INSTEAD, as then YOU CAN POSSESS YOURSELF, INSTEAD OF BEING POSSESSED BY YOUR MOMENTS.

Please, do yourself a favour, read this over and over until it HITS – IT IS A VERY SIMPLE MEDIEVAL ANALOGY, but you will GET what follows much quicker if you can RELATE, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEPARATE YOURSELF MENTALLY FROM YOUR passing MOMENTARY MOOD SWINGS…

YOUR BOTTLE IS YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’, YOUR SPIRIT.

YOUR BOTTLE CAN ‘CONTAIN’ THE FEAR OF YOUR FAKE SELF’, CONTROL IT AND DIRECT IT .

SO TODAY WE NEED TO GET THE FEELING OF YOUR BOTTLE UP TO THE MAGICAL LEVEL OF ‘DIGNITY’.

THEN IT WILL BE MORE ATTRACTIVE TO YOU THAN FAKE YOU’S PETTY MOODS, AS A STABLE PLACE TO LIVE.

THEN YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE YOU WILL ‘FEEL’ SELF-POSSESSED, INSTEAD OF EGO-POSSESSED.

THEN YOU WILL BE ARISTOS, AND YOU WILL HAVE SOME ‘VALUE’ TO US. 

 Yes, no matter how GIFTED YOU ARE, you must CHOOSE to RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, otherwise you will waste the power you need to do it…

Authors note – When I tested this last section on another teacher like me, who has an interest in Western class-based systems, they ‘laughed’, and said ‘so you are teaching people to grow up now?’ To which I replied YES, people are CHILDREN NOW, so they have NO CLASS, they NEVER GROW UP UNLESS THEY ARE FORCED TO – they don’t have the patterns of a GROWN UP, SO THEY WON’T UNDERSTAND UNLESS I TEACH THOSE PATTERNS TO THEM. So understand, every single type of development system is CLASS SYSTEM, but you don’t have those patterns because you are taught equality, so you don’t understand that all CLASS SYSTEMS ARE BASED ON DEVELOPING ‘THE NOBILITY OF CHARACTER’, what being ‘GENTILE’ actually means, but you think being a Gentleman or Gentlewoman means you are RICH and have NICE MANNERS, cause your society states ‘CONSUMER CAPITALISM IS GOD’, and every simple dick head on the planet has life goals that are some version of GET RICH, HAVE FUN, TAKE DRUGS.

Nobility is NOTHING TO DO WITH WEALTH OR EXTERNAL POWER, those are simply the trappings of SUCCESS, it was originally a judgment of your LEVEL. Get it – even the BUDDHA WAS ‘ANCIENT ROYALTY’, so he was taught stuff as a kid that you were not, so you must ‘CHOOSE’ TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’, so you must learn the patterns. See if you were ROYAL they had to teach you to SURVIVE ABOVE ALL ELSE, which means they had to teach you TO STAND AGAINST YOUR FEAR OF DEATH, so you could LEARN TO FIGHT, AND NOT RUN AWAY. All ancient class systems are based on this simple truth, ON FEELING BETTER THAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT ‘TO STAND AGAINST YOUR FEAR’, otherwise you would not only lose, YOU WOULD NOT LIVE THAT LONG, BECAUSE EVERYBODY WAS A KILLER, AS HAVING THE REPUTATION OF A KILLER KEPT YOU ALIVE – your treasured human rights are a very recent invention..

SO YOU NEED TO GET THAT FAKE YOU, YOUR FAKE CHILD IS YOUR FEAR, YOUR ‘INFERIORITY COMPLEX’ AND EVERYBODY CAN SEE IT, IN ORDER TO ‘START’ THIS PATH, TO HAVE THE ‘REALIZATIONS OF TRUTH’ THAT FOLLOW IT. YES, THE 3 GREATEST REALIZATIONS YOU NEED AT THE BEGINNING, THE ONES THAT ACTUALLY MAKE YOU ‘A SEEKER AFTER TRUTH’, ARE SIMPLY THESE – YOUR SOCIETY HAS FUCKED YOU – YOU WERE NEVER TAUGHT A: TO STAND AGAINST ‘YOUR FEAR’, B: THAT ONLY EFFORTS MADE IN THE MOMENT OF STANDING AGAINST YOUR FEAR ACTUALLY ‘COUNT’ TOWARD YOUR LEVEL, AND C: ONLY THE EFFORTS MADE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FAILURE, WHEN YOU HAVE EXHAUSTED YOUR MENTAL SELF, MAKE ANY MEANINGFUL DIFFERENCE TO YOUR FELT LEVEL AT THE START, SO YOU MUST TRY, AND THEN RETRY WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN’T TRY ANYMORE! This is how you GROW UP…

Your SOCIETY has removed all of this from the curriculum, SO YOU JUST THINK THIS IS ‘SUFFERING’ INSTEAD OF LEARNING, so unless you are lucky enough to have learned this yourself or stumbled upon them one day, YOU WILL SIMPLY NOT HAVE THESE PATTERNS, so learn them, NOW, OTHERWISE ALL OF THIS IS JUST ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE HOBBIES, AND YOU WILL ONLY EVER THINK ABOUT IT, like a feckless BITCH. Literally speaking, there are GANGSTERS, (in the sense of organized ‘career’ criminals) who have more fucking CLASS THAN YOU DO, because they REJECT YOUR SOCIETIES B/S – they had to learn this stuff to survive, AS THEY CAN NEVER CALL THE POLICE, BECAUSE THE POLICE ARE THE ENEMY. UNDERSTAND – YOU ARE A CHILD, so its time to GROW THE FUCK UP, while you still can – IT IS NOT COOL TO BE A CHILD, NOT FUN TO BE STUPID, NOT HAPPINESS TO BE UNAWARE, those things make you a TWAT…

Get this please – GET SMARTER – no one serious, NO ONE WHO HAS BECOME SELF POSSESSED, gives the smallest fuck what you think AT YOUR LEVEL, YOU ARE A ROBOTIC BABY ANIMAL, your thoughts and actions are little more than BIRD CALLS IN THE JUNGLE, you act out your INFERIORITY COMPLEX every time you get mad, try and be right, chase your BASIC – IT IS ALL TOTALLY FAKE. NO ONE WHO IS SUPERIOR GIVES A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK, why would they – where is the value in trying to compete with a mentally ill child, where is the POWER IN THAT VICTORY? You humiliate yourself by even trying to be right, by even trying to be clever while your face and choice of words give away every little thing about you, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOURSELF. ACTING LIKE A CHILD AS AN ADULT IS THE ULTIMATE HUMILIATION, SEE THIS FOR YOURSELF AND BE MOTIVATED BY IT!

EVERYTHING GETS MUCH EASIER WHEN YOU GET SMARTER…

IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS PATH YOU MUST CHOOSE TO STOP BEING LAZY AND GET SMARTER…

RAISING YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS SO YOU CAN ‘SEE’ ONLY MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU HAVE GOT SMARTER… 

YOU MUST STAND AGAINST YOUR FAKE YOUS ‘FALSE INSTINCTS’ AND ‘URGES’ IN THE MOMENT OF HAVING THEM TO PAY FOR GETTING SMARTER…

SO, TO GET A LOT SMARTER YOU HAVE TO GO ROUND AND ROUND THE SAME POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP OF PAYING TO GET SMARTER…

KNOW ON THE 4TH WAY THE ENTIRE FOCUS ON FAKE YOU IS SO YOU CAN ‘EAT’ FAKE YOU AS THE PAYMENT FOR GETTING SMARTER…

THEN YOUR FAKE YOU WILL SLOWLY DISAPPEAR AND REAL YOU CAN APPEAR IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, INSTEAD…

THEN YOU WILL KNOW THAT ALL TRUE HAPPINESS IS THE ‘ACHIEVEMENT OF KNOWING’ IN THE MOMENT OF COGNITION.

YOUR CURRENT HAPPINESS IS SIMPLY THE TEMPORARY RELIEF FROMTHE REDUCTION OF YOUR ANIMAL SUFFERING VIA ‘SELF HARM’.

ANIMAL HAPPINESS IS TEMPORARY, GIFTED HAPPINESS IS PERMANENT – IF YOU GET SMARTER…

BUT ‘OUR’ HAPPINESS REQUIRES YOU TO BE RUTHLESS, TO HAVE THE BOTTLE, AND TO GET SMARTER…

The Way of the Aristocrat REQUIRES you to have the ‘BOTTLE’ TO HOLD YOURSELF AGAINST YOUR MISTAKES, YOUR URGES, YOUR FALSE INSTINCTS, YOUR GOSSIP, YOUR SELF DESTRUCTION. So you must ‘GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF’, create a SELF CONSCIOUS FEELING IN YOURSELF as a ‘SHELL’, that RESISTS all of your AUTOMATIC INSTINCTS AND REACTIONS IN THE MOMENT, and so allows you to see YOUR IMPULSES BEFORE YOU ACT THEM OUT. The only time you currently DO this is OUT OF FEAR, so you are even more unconscious than you normally are, so is useless – YOU MUST CHOOSE TO DO IT, OUT OF STRENGTH, OUT OF AN ABUNDANCE OF ENERGY, like when you were a child…

This GRIP creates RESISTANCE, an air gap inside you THAT ALLOWS YOU TO SELF REFLECT ‘JUST’ BEFORE IMPULSIVE ACTION, and that is what ‘maturity’ is, without IT you are just another wilful child, with no self-reflection forever wondering what the fuck just happened. Be clear, THIS REFLECTION CAN BE ‘FEAR OF FAKE YOU’ DRIVEN AT THE START IN TERMS OF THE ‘TENSION SIGNATURE OF BRAVERY’, that is the easy way to start because it is what you know at an Animal Level, but later it must become the EMOTIONAL FEELING OF ‘BETTER THAN’, so link them together mentally now – IN ALL TRUTH IT IS THE ACTUAL FEELING OF YOUR ‘ALIVENESS’, YOUR ‘PRESENCE’ that we are talking about, but it will be very weak consciously at the start, as you have been ignoring it for decades now…

I know many of you reading already know this, but you would be amazed at just how many GIFTED HEDONISTS, EVEN THE MAJORITY OF THE MOST HIGHLY GIFTED, HAVE NEVER HAD TO LEARN THIS MOST SIMPLE OF ALL THE ASPECTS OF BEING A GROWN UP. Amazing really, so your God help us all if we ever have to go to War again in the West, because you will run away screaming, indeed many of you will simply flee the country in terror, THAT IS HOW LITTLE CLASS YOU CURRENTLY HAVE. So what would ‘YOU’ do eh, when you suddenly need to grow the fuck up and risk your life for the greater good..? Wonder, how far your drug-fueled Badass and little Anti-Hero fantasies would take you then…

SO TAKE A MOMENT NOW AND REMIND YOURSELF TO ‘BE BRAVE’ AS A ‘MENTAL STANCE’ IN SMALL, EVERYDAY STUFF BECAUSE IT FEELS ‘BETTER THAN’ TO FEEL THAT BRAVERY, than to give into FEARS, or FANTASY, or LAZINESS, or STUPID IMPULSES. Remember what you FELT LIKE WHEN YOU ONCE HAD A HIGH VALUATION OF YOURSELF, because you are going to need that feeling for the rest of THIS, YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO GROW UP and HAVE SOME ‘BOTTLE’. It’s MAYBE A NEW PATTERN FOR YOUR FAKE YOU, but its ONE YOUR REAL YOU ALREADY HAS, so let it ‘show you’, throw yourself into some small, petty little ‘danger’ and see what happens, you may surprise yourself. Some ARISTOS types see this as a new Routine where they SET THEMSELVES into this BRAVE mode for a time, before relaxing back to nothing, but try and remember that this mode needs to become permanent, if you do start with this type of ‘training wheels’ practice.

Frankly, it always amazes me THAT SOME Gifted Hedonists, who have never, ever been taught to be brave are gutless out of laziness in every area of their life EXCEPT one – THEIR BASIC. See, their REAL YOU sees what is happening and steps in to make them HARDER, callous even BY PROVIDING THEM WITH THIS BOTTLE AS A HARD SHELL, so the worst of what they are doing to themselves can bounce off, at least at the time, so their mental health can cope, at least for a while. This can then be re-used for more normal types of performance anxiety, roles they play that are clearly different from normal, but they never MAKE THE JUMP TO USING IT AGAINST THEIR FAKE YOU, because they don’t understand who the enemy actually is, and how to do it – IT IS SIMPLY MAKING ‘THE CHOICE’ TO BE AN ARISTOS, INSTEAD OF A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL, AND THEREFORE THE DESIRE TO NO LONGER PUT UP WITH ‘SHIT YOU’.

Seriously, have you never wondered before why we go on and on about you being ‘gutless’ when none of the other paths mention it – THIS IS THE PATH OF THE ARISTOS BABY, IT IS FOR HEDONISTIC BADASSES like you are supposed to BE, bitch – so LIFT YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS OUT OF YOUR CREEPY LITTLE ANIMAL LEVEL FOR A MOMENT – ‘REMEMBER’ YOUR SELF, remember who the FUCK YOU ARE without the need to REACT to something – THAT IS YOUR BOTTLE, YOUR PRESENCE, let it HIT, then guard it with your life as it is PRECIOUS, ’cause when it’s GONE, so are you. You need to FEEL LIKE YOUR SKIN IS BURNING, but not the burn of some small ‘Embarrassment’ or ‘Arrogance’, but the BURN of THE OPENNESS OF YOUR ‘BETTER THAN’, of what folks used to describe as a ‘burst of pride’…

If it helps a few of you know that at the beginning to be SELF-POSSESSED just means to be SELF-CONTAINED, to hold yourself ‘in check’, just try not to be too shy about it, you must get on the front foot, and go looking for life as an Aristos, not hide your self way like some petty little Buddhist, content to ‘hide from life’ FOREVER, as your development will regress as soon as you stop hiding. Increasing your ‘Lived Level’ comes from DOING IT as a FORCED CHOICE, the shocks that come around it will just make it easier and quicker – YOU STILL HAVE TO DECIDE TO DO IT UNTIL IT BECOMES NATURAL, A REAL HABIT THAT REPLACE THE FAKE ONES, replaces your FALSE INSTINCTS, your distorted ANIMAL URGES, your twisted SELF SABOTAGE, and your perverted SELF HARM.

This APPROACH is, in all truth, THE TRICK TO THIS – ‘TO GET UP’ FOR IT, TO BE EXCITED BY THIS CHOICE, as often as you can, every damn day, because the more OFTEN you make that EFFORT, then more ENERGY will come from it, and the more excited you will become even about simple stuff, as your FALSE INSTINCT of always choosing laziness fades away. Try and remember now, Real You wants to help you, sends SHAME on FAKE YOU so you can SEE Fake You in the ‘yesterday’, and that’s nice, helpful even to the most highly gifted who can use their shame TO CHANGE, but the rest of you NEED TO GET UP FOR THIS, BECAUSE YOU NEED TO CHOOSE THIS PATH, CONSCIOUSLY, willingly, happily, gladly… AND THAT TAKES ‘BOTTLE’. 

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE GOT SMARTER YET?

NO? OK, TRY AND SEE THIS – RELATE TO THIS…

THIS WHOLE LESSON IS ABOUT FINDING AND GETTING YOUR BOTTLE AS A FELT MOOD ‘SHELL’ HIGH ENOUGH TO STAND AGAINST ALL OTHER MOODS.

IN TIME THE FELT SENSE OF YOUR BOTTLE AS A SHELL WILL SURPASS ‘BETTER THAN’ AND BECOME ‘DIGNITY’, WHEN YOU RELAX BACK INTO IT.

THE WAY YOU FIND AND DEVELOP YOUR BOTTLE RELIABLY IS TO ACTIVELY USE IT ‘AGAINST YOUR FAKE YOU’, AS REAL YOU WILL HELP WITH THAT.

TO FEEL YOUR BOTTLE AT AN OVERWHELMING LEVEL ALL THE TIME IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ‘PRESENT IN YOUR PRESENCE’.

THEN YOU CAN CHANGE BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE, AND FIND THE ‘REAL PERSONALITY’ OF YOUR GIFT.

SEVERAL OF YOU READING THIS STRONGLY LINK YOUR CURRENT FELT BOTTLE TO YOUR BASIC, indeed you may not even be aware you have any BOTTLE because your BASIC is the only time you ever use it, SO IT IS LOST TO YOU AS A GENERIC SKILL, HIDDEN WITHIN THE ANTICIPATION OF YOUR BASIC. That anticipation perverts your Bottle and steals it from you, just the same as all those dorks who live in fear because they think its ‘lucky’ out of superstition. So LEARN TO SEE THIS AT THE TIME, learn to separate out your BOTTLE from your twisted little shit, so you can use it WHENEVER YOU LIKE, so you can trust it, won’t take long and it will change your life, AS RIGHT NOW EVEN YOU THINK YOU ARE GUTLESS. But your not, are you – when you want to have ‘FUN’ you can do anything, can’t you…

So… YOU MUST SEPARATE THEM BY FEELING THE CORRECT ANTICIPATION OF THE INCREASE IN POWER BY ‘NOT DOING’ YOUR BASIC, MORE THAN THE TRIVIAL THRILL OF ‘DOING IT’ IN ‘THE MOMENT OF DECISION’. LENGTHEN THAN MOMENT OF DECISION TO INCLUDE THE AFTER EFFECTS OF BOTH DOING AND NOT DOING THAT BASIC. SEE THOSE AFTER EFFECTS ARE NOW, IN THE SAME MOMENT OF DECISION, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE AS THEY WILL NOW HAPPEN, SO YOU MUST BRING THE KNOWN RESULTS OF YOUR SELF-HARM INTO THE CHOICE BY RESISTING THE CHOICE FOR A MOMENT SO YOU CREATE THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY – IN THIS WAY YOU WILL LEARN TO HABITUALLY REACT WITH SICKNESS, WITH WEAKNESS TO ALL FALSE URGES OF YOUR ‘BASIC INSTINCTS’.

THE TRICK IS TO ‘ANTICIPATE THE POWER’ OF NOT DOING IT MORE THAN THE ‘PETTY THRILL OF THE LOSS OF THAT POWER’, AS IT IS YOUR OVER-SENSITIVITY TO THAT PERVERTED ‘BASIC’ ANTICIPATION THAT IS BEING USED TO GAS-LIGHT YOU. THIS IS HOW ADDICTIVE SELF HARM WORKS, A CHILDISH CON USED ON A CHILD TO DESTROY THEM, A WITCH TRICK, A ‘GLAMOUR’, TO BE BLINDED TO THE TRUTH IN THE MOMENT OF DECISION – SEE THROUGH IT, FOR A COUPLE OF YOU IT WILL BE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR POWERFUL LIFE AND YOUR UNHAPPY DEATH.  You must peel back the expensive wine label on the BOTTLE ‘CONTAINING’ YOUR BASIC and see that it reads ‘BLEACH’, so you see the thickness of that BLEACH, smell the rot of that BLEACH, EVEN ANTICIPATE THE PUTRID TASTE OF THAT BLEACH, then you will have no problem NOT DRINKING IT IN THE MOMENT. You are the BOTTLE, not the fucking bleach, so pour it down the drain, start again and put something else in that BOTTLE, then you will actually START TO BE BADASS, instead of sadass…

I know IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, I know you were brought up to be a child, I know that you were NEVER FORCED TO GROW UP, I know you had NO RIGHTS OF PASSAGE YOU HAD TO FACE TO DEVELOP SOME BOTTLE, as of many of us had too culturally or accidentally DO out of pure LUCK, so you have no ability, no pattern habit of standing against FEAR, ALL YOUR CHILDISH SELF DESTRUCTIVE, STUPIDITY, but that DOES NOT MATTER NOW. Some of you have enough BOTTLE TO START NOW, TO WORK WITH NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, but even if you don’t, even if you are just a ‘candle in the wind’, deluding yourself that your character is some form of perfectly acceptable modern, left-wing intelligentsia, (however you much you may now accept its COMPLETELY FAKE), YOU NOW HAVE ENOUGH PRACTICAL MATERIAL TO LOOK FOR THIS STUFF IN YOURSELF AND START TO ‘PRACTICE HAVING BOTTLE’ – start to develop REAL YOU, BECAUSE Real You LIVES IN YOUR ‘BOTTLE’.

Should you be interested, there is lovely cult song by a lady called Fiona Apple – ‘CONTAINER’, that kinda sums up what Real You feels like at the start, should you be open enough to it and brave enough to let it HIT. So give it a listen, it maybe a little off broadway for you, but it is very HONEST, and we love that here on the Left Hand path, so you might want to try being HONEST with yourself too, WILL HELP SEE THROUGH YOUR SHIT AND CATCH A GLIMPSE OF REAL YOU… This is the version from the TV show, as the video she did is still too dark for you I’d say BUT DON’T RESIST THE ‘SENSE OF OTHERNESS’ IN THIS TRACK, what spiritual types call the ‘Numinous’, as it needs to become both your trusted friend and constant companion…

TRUST ME, WHATEVER YOUR REAL YOU IS, IT WILL BE A SHIT LOAD BETTER THAN THE OBVIOUSLY FAKE, FLAKELY, RATS NEST OF SELF-HARMING CRAP YOU CURRENTLY HAVE – SO START TO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT CHANGE BY ANTICIPATING YOUR NEW YOU. Hopefully you won’t be quite so BORING either, your WOW, your STYLE, your CLASS will lift you out of your ANIMAL FARM, and we can all be ‘impressed’ BY YOU, maybe even have a few ADULT CONVERSATIONS, eh, because you will become the greatest thing any teacher could want – YOU WILL BE INTERESTING… 

So please try and get used to this idea, YOU ARE NOT ‘YOU’, you are not your ‘acquired character’ as Daoists say, YOU are YOUR ‘CONGENITAL’ CHARACTER, what you were ‘born with’, you cannot run from it, IT IS YOUR LIFE FORCE ITSELF. All else is a DELUSION, you fool yourself, YOU ARE NOT EVEN AWARE OF JUST HOW BIG A TOOL YOUR FAKE ANTI-YOU IS – YOUR ACTUAL CHARACTER REACHES BACK INTO THE MISTS OF TIME, and what you are now is an ‘ECHO OF THAT ANCESTRAL CHARACTER’, which is your DESTINY. It will be much easier to do all of this if YOU ACCEPT THAT, ACCEPT YOU ARE A BLEND OF YOUR NEEDS OF THE NOW, IN THE STYLE OF YOUR ANCESTORS, as if you go on believing you are FREE to be whoever you wish, or whoever you need to be to survive right now, THEN YOU WILL DAMN YOURSELF TO INCREASING LEVELS OF FAILURE AND UNHAPPINESS.

Hell, maybe take some interest in your ANCESTORS, the ones that made some ‘kind of mark’ on this world, and HOW THEY DID THAT, because that is in you too, so maybe start to take a moment to see if you can ‘feel’ how ‘they would feel’ about what you are doing, instead of just banging out the same habitual patterns of your obviously fake character, that does not even fucking exist. See, folks like you are often AMAZED to see how much of their TRUE nature ‘RUNS IN THE FAMILY’, even if you are not lucky enough to have that said to you at a young age AS A WARNING. In time you may even understand why GIFTED have no choice but to be RUTHLESS.

So… any FAMOUS folks in your bloodline, any WARRIORS, any PRIESTS, any CRIMINALS, any KILLERS, any LEADERS, any LOVERS, any PERFORMERS, any SINGERS, any ARTISTS, any TEACHERS, any WITCHES, any INVENTORS, any TYRANTS, any mad patterns of behavior that don’t fit any modern type…?  IS THERE ANYONE WHO CLEARLY HAD TO DESTROY THEIR ‘FEAR’ TO DO WHAT THEY DID, SO THEY ‘RATED A MENTION’? Ahhh, you have no idea? So spend some time ASKING ABOUT THEM THEN, see if all you petty ‘foibles’, that don’t come from your childhood, come from somewhere else, instead – THE MORE YOU SHOW AN INTEREST IN THIS, THE MORE REAL YOU WILL HELP YOU FIND IT IN YOURSELF. And it works fast…

If all this sounds a bit weird to you know this simply – SCIENCE AND SPIRITUALITY HAVE BEEN QUIETLY COALESING FOR THE LAST 100 YEARS. Science now accepts that more than 95% of the stuff in the universe is invisible to Mankind, that this invisible stuff, Dark Energy and Dark Matter, causes all the other stuff to exist, and that this means we have at least 1 more physical dimension we cannot see normally. It accepts that both Time and Gravity are not what we think they are, eg their reality is not objective to us, and what they actually are is NOT what we model them as, to our ability to measure it. See this other stuff is where what they call your ASTRAL BODY LIVES, your ESSENCE, what the world calls your SPIRIT, along with the ESSENCE of ‘everything else’, because YOU ARE GIFTED, so you were born with the seed of the Astral body of your Ancestors, most folks don’t have one, which is why some 4th wayers call them the DEAD. Therefore YOU are FAR more Emotional than most people, as your Astral Body is made of Emotion, because it is connected to what they call your Higher Emotional Centre, your Conscience, which is why you have one, but you MUST GROW THAT ASTRAL BODY VIA SELF CONSCIOUS ATTENTION ‘ON IT’, BEFORE IT IS ‘USEFUL’. Be happy, most folks don’t have any of this, so they remain domesticated animals, little more than Organic Robots, going through the motions of Reacting to what happens like a meat puppet, no better than rocks, and they can’t be helped.

Yes, you live in a SHADOW WORLD, THE SHADOWS OF THINGS YOU CAN’T SEE, BUT THEY ARE THERE ALL THE SAME. But that is cool, just as long as you are NOT SO FUCKING STUPID that you believe that right now, YOU are literally looking through the ‘windows of your eyes’ and seeing light bounce off reality AS IT IS, you know that you are looking a personal hallucination, a model based on YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT REALITY, a heavily processed, historically weighted, visually corrected FRAMEWORK that is CREATED BY YOU IN YOUR MIND based on the stored representations of your very limited senses, and does not actually exist – YOU KNOW YOU ARE LOOKING AT ‘THOUGHTS’ IN RETROSPECT, you are not seeing the LIGHT REFLECTED OFF THINGS, SO YOU ARE NOT SEEING WHAT ELSE IS ACTUALLY THERE, RIGHT? You don’t see the Essence of things, what exists in another dimension of reality that you have been trained NOT TO SEE, much as it is the same reality, happening at the same time, in the same way, but YOU SEE THE DUST AND OTHER CONCRETIONS OF YOUR MIND, because everything you see is A THOUGHT ABOUT REALITY, not reality itself, WHICH IS THE SAME, BUT DIFFERENT, BECAUSE ITS REAL, AND NOT A PERSONAL HALLUCINATION…

Yep, everything is WEIRD, BECUASE YOU ARE ANT STUCK IN A WORLD OF ‘N’ DIMENSIONS, WHERE REALITY IS MAINLY BASED IN THE N+1,2,3… DIMENSIONS YOU CAN’T SEE, YET, and in the next 100 years its going to get a lot weirder – the staff at the nuclear accelerator in CERN report the presence of Spectral Entities during tests so bloody often now that no one even bothers with it. There is an explosion of unexplained phenomenon being observed in the sky ALL OVER THE WORLD, EVERYDAY, RIGHT NOW, as there has always been in times of WAR on this planet, in records going back thousands of years. And that is not even 10% of it, SO STOP BEING A SELF IMPORTANT CHILD AND START TO LEARN SOMETHING EH, STUFF THAT IS GOING TO COME IN REAL USEFUL IN YOUR LITTLE LIFE, even if you don’t develop your GIFT.

Best accept it, THE MESSAGE THAT IT WRITTEN THROUGH ALL OF THIS BLOG – YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT, DO YOU, EVEN COMPARED TO WHAT A LOT OF ‘OTHER PEOPLE’ DO KNOW, BUT YOU COULD DO… Don’t worry, however big a small child you are, however much you thought you could wander through this life in ‘playschool mode’, ‘stoned mode’, ‘fool mode’, YOU AT LEAST NOW KNOW WHAT BOTTLE IS, YOU KNOW THERE ACTUALLY IS A ‘GROWN UP MODE’. Yes? you know BEING A GROWN UP IS COOL, AND BEING A CHILD AS AN ADULT IS ABOUT BEING A TWATTY, SELF DESTRUCTIVE MESS, THAT DISHONORS YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND YOU GO ON WITH IT, BEFORE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DETERIORATES TO THE VICTIMHOOD OF SELF OBESSESSED ‘POND LIFE’?

So maybe practice SETTING YOURSELF IN ‘BOTTLE MODE ‘INSTEAD, so you will be able to start to develop, eh – YOU DO STILL HAVE SOME BOTTLE OUTSIDE OF YOUR BASIC, RIGHT, YOU HAVE ALREADY TRIED TO SEPARATE THE 2 AS SENSATIONS, and FELT WHAT IT IS BEFORE FAKE YOU PERVERTED IT? YOU UNDERSTAND THE BOTTLE YOU USE AGAINST EXTERNAL CHALLENGES AND FEARS, TO HOLD YOURSELF AGAINST THOSE FEARS SO YOU CAN ACT AGAINST THEM, IS EXACTLY THE SAME THING YOU USE TO HOLD YOURSELF AGAINST ALL YOUR INTERNAL CHALLENGES TO YOUR AUTHORITY, INDEED THOSE 2 ARE PART OF THE EXACT SAME THING? SO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU MUST CONTINUE TO HOLD YOURSELF AGAINST YOUR FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM ‘FAKE YOU’ MIND-SET UNTIL YOU WEAKEN IT, AND REAL YOU GETS MUCH STRONGER, THAT IS HOW ‘YOU PAY’ TO GET STRONGER, BY WINNING THOSE BATTLES?

AWESOME, SO YOU JUST GOT A LOT SMARTER THEN, DID YOU NOT.. SEE YOU HAVE JUST LEARNT HOW TO ‘EAT’ FAKE YOU, but don’t sweat it, that EVIL BITCH has it coming, and once YOU bury her you will understand what it is to be ALIVE, all the time, so you will cheerfully DANCE ON HER GRAVE. Ohhhh, the shame of being NOTHING all these LONG years, OF GOING ALONG TO GET ALONG LIKE A PUSSY, when you could of GROWN UP AT ANY TIME YOU WISHED…    

Anyway, its all good, I KNOW YOU HAVE ‘THE NERVE’ NOW, question is, can you ‘HOLD YOUR NERVE’ without tensing against those NERVES, or run away sobbing like total fucking tool, cause you won’t commit to YOURSELF, the source of all your ‘reality’. See, YES – it’s ALL A GAME, AND ONE YOU HAVE LOST THUS FAR, YOU HAVE HUMILIATED YOURSELF, SO as all good gangsters know, it is far better to KILL (metaphorically) OTHER PEOPLE than kill yourself, and all this DEVELOPMENT STUFF ONLY REALLY STARTS WHEN YOU stop killing yourself, WHEN YOU SEE THAT IS WHAT YOUR OLD LIFE CONSISTS OF.

Good luck with that, AS I SUSPECT IT MAYBE THE KEY TO ALL OF THIS, FOR YOU, when you understand what RUTHLESS IS, and why you ARE NOT RUTHLESS, why you are total fucking pussy, BECAUSE YOU ‘BELIEVE THEM’, even when you know they lie to you. YOU HAVE NEVER LEARNT TO PLAY THEM, LIKE AN ARISTOS, TO LEAVE THEM THEIR FUNNY LITTLE DELUSIONS and get on with your own shit, BECAUSE WHAT THEY CRAVE IS YOUR ATTENTION, GOOD OR BAD, which means they ARE BENEATH YOU…

So, ask yourself the question NOW – ARE ‘THEY’ MORE IMPORTANT THAN ‘YOU’, IN YOUR LIFE, IN YOUR REALITY, IN YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE, RIGHT NOW, because you need the correct answer to this question to GO ON AND GROW INTO YOURSELF now. See, when you stop being a child you will find YOUR SURROUNDED BY IGNORANT CHILDREN WHO ARE DRAINING YOU, so you will need to manage that, and start adding some folks who build you up…

ARE YOU MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEM, OR ARE YOU NOTHING AT ALL?

GREAT, SO YOU HAVE SOME SELF-BELIEF, BUT I HAVE TO ASK – WHY THE FUCK TO YOU BOTHER WITH ‘THEM’ THEN, WHY ‘CARE’, WHY BE ANNOYED, WHY EVEN FUCKING NOTICE..?

SEE YOU NOW NEED TO LEARN HOW TO KEEP ‘YOUR ENERGY FOR YOURSELF’, YOU NEED TO BE RUTHLESS AND PUT SOME DISTANCE BETWEEN YOURSELF AND YOUR PARASITES…

THE SUBJECT OF MANAGING YOUR ENERGETIC CONNECTIONS IS FOR NEXT TIME, BUT MOST OF YOU WILL KNOW AFTER TODAY WHO YOU NEED MORE OF, AND WHO HAS TO GO.

SO ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION AGAIN – WHO IS MORE IMPORTANT ‘TO FAKE YOU’ THAN ‘YOU’…

GIFTED HEDONISTS ATTRACT PARASITES, often by their BASIC, but even the lower level relationships tend to be parasitic – so try and feel the quality of the relationships that BUILD YOU, rather than BLEED YOU, going forward. Try and see beyond your FAKE PATTERNS and feel who you find ‘INTERESTING’, AS A ‘SENSE OF CONNECTION’, FOR NO BENEFIT TO YOURSELF, THAT YOU HAVE NO STABLE RELATIONSHIP WITH, rather than a source of annoyance, A SOURCE OF TENSION, however much they DO FOR YOU, however much FUN you think they are, AS you actually LOATHE THEM AS PEOPLE, because they are BENEATH YOU, in terms of their level.

See, those relationships COST YOU YOURSELF, every single time, NO MATTER HOW NICE TO YOU THAT YOU THINK THEY ARE. Pay particular attention to the ‘creepy ones’, WHO SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIVES in some form of nervous EMBARRASSMENT or DRAMA, even QUIET DESPERATION, as they are the worst – THEY ARE USING YOU TO ‘KEEP IT TOGETHER’, burn them. See there is a time coming when you will start SEE THE NEED FOR THE MANNERISMS OF THE ARISTOS, as pretty much all of your normal life is designed to be A BUZZ KILL, DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU ‘LOSE YOUR NERVE’, YOUR SENSE OF ‘BETTER THAN’ AS A FEELING, as its designed to BLEED YOU, so you will need to know HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT whilst still being able to maintain yourself in this world. So DO TRY and remind yourself – the history of this world is written by RUTHLESS PEOPLE, because they tend to be the last ones standing at the end, AND ITS ONLY THE END THAT REALLY MATTERS AT ALL.

NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE THUS FAR REALLY RATES A MENTION, DOES IT, BECAUSE YOU ARE A SLAVE, but it could do, WHEN YOU STOP BEING A SLAVE, when you understand what you are ‘aiming’ for, as after TODAY YOU WILL FINALLY HAVE AN AIMING ‘POINT’, WHICH IS TO FIND THE TRUTH OF ‘YOUR POINT’, or better said to let REAL YOU ‘show you’ the POINT OF YOU. But to get there you will need to FINALLY UNDERSTAND YOU CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS LIFE HUMMING ‘Killing me Softly’ like its a good thing, you must understand the NEED FOR A PERSONAL MORALITY of what is GOOD FOR YOU. Then the world will start to ‘GO YOUR WAY’, with out you having to do very much at all, as you will of ACCEPTED YOUR GIFTED DESTINY, because you have realized ‘your’ destiny is not to be a ‘slave’, anymore, SO YOU WILL WANT TO HAVE A ‘GO AT LIFE’, and turn some of your current fantasies into YOUR REALITY.

WHEN YOUR LIFE GETS EASIER IT IS ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE GOT STRONGER. 

WHEN YOU LIFE GETS HARDER IT IS ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE GOT WEAKER. 

I HAVE JUST TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FIND THE BOTTLE YOU WERE BORN WITH AND USE IT UNDER CONSCIOUS DIRECTION AND GET STRONGER!

SO KNOW, RIGHT NOW IT IS NOT JUST THAT YOU ARE A WEAK, GUTLESS THING, IT IS NOT JUST THAT THE BLOODY ANIMALS ARE SCARIER THAN YOU, IT IS NOT EVEN THAT I AM ‘DEATH ON 2 LEGS’ IN YOUR EYES, IT IS THAT I HAVE SMALL, FLUFFY WHITE PETS THAT ‘DISPLAY’ MORE BOTTLE THAN YOU DO…

YOU MUST FIX THAT NOW – TO STUMBLE THROUGH LIFE AS A PEOPLE PLEASER WHEN YOU WERE BORN A BADASS IS BENEATH YOU, MY DEAR…

YES, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A GANGSTER ON THE LEFTHAND PATH, BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE ARISTOS AND ENJOY THE ‘COMFORTS OF ELITISM’, OF SUPERIORITY RATHER THAN RELIGION, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A BADASS ACTUALLY IS, BY BEING ONE.

AND THE FIRST PLACE YOU START THAT IN THIS WORLD IS YOUR REPUTATION, BECAUSE YOU REPUTATION IS VERY GOOD EARLY JUDGEMENT OF WHERE YOU ARE WITH ACTUALLY DOING THIS STUFF – NO, IT DOES NOT MATTER IN ITSELF, BUT IT IS AN EXCELLENT ‘MARKER FOR CHANGE’.

SO CONSIDER NOW AT THE END OF THIS PREFACE – WHAT DON’T YOU LIKE ABOUT THE WAY PEOPLE TREAT YOU?

OUCH… SO TIME TO GET A LITTLE ‘RUTHLESS’ THEN, AS YOU ‘THE INDIVIDUAL’ DOESN’T REALLY NEED PEOPLE, THOSE PEOPLE NEED YOU…

WANT A CLUE – MAKE THIS CHANGE IN YOUR CLOSEST RELATIONSHIPS FIRST, THE DAILY ONES, AS IT WORKS QUICKER, THEN ROLL IT OUT TO ALL THE TWATS YOU HAVE ALWAYS HATED ANYWAY, WHEN YOU HAVE THE PATTERN ‘DOWN PAT’, AS A REWARD TO YOURSELF FOR ‘TRYING’…

YES, YOU NEED TO LEARN ‘HOW TO BE RUTHLESS’, SO PRACTICE ON YOURSELF AND THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU FIRST, REMEMBERING THE CLASSIC ARISTOS ADAGE – OVERT FAMILIARITY WITH YOUR LESSERS ALWAYS BREEDS THEIR CONTEMPT BECAUSE YOU MAKE THEM FEEL INFERIOR, ESPIECALLY WHEN YOU PLEASE THEM, SO THEY WILL CONSTANTLY TRY AND HUMILIATE YOU, BECAUSE THEY ARE HARMLESS LITTLE ANIMALS, BUT YOU ARE NOT…

AND JUST TO BE SURE, YOU UNDERSTAND BEING RUTHLESS ALWAYS STARTS WITH NOT PUTTING UP WITH BEING TREATED BADLY FOR AN EASY LIFE, IT MEANS YOU CHANGE THAT EVEN IF YOU THINK IT COSTS YOU, EVEN IF YOU HAVE GONE ALONG WITH IT FOR YEARS AND WILLINGLY AGREED TO IT, EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU GET THE BETTER DEAL, EVEN IF YOU THINK IT IS A ‘BASIC ‘SUPERPOWER, BECAUSE NONE OF THAT IS TRUE – YOU ACTUALLY ARE THE FOOL THAT THEY ALREADY THINK YOU ARE, HENCE WHY THEY TREAT YOU THIS WAY. So you CHANGE THE WAY THEY TREAT YOU, feel that FOOLISHNESS BURN, BY FACING IT, ACCEPTING WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AS ‘NOT REAL YOU’, AND CHANGING – THAT IS WHAT ‘FACING IT’ MEANS…

The KEY to speeding this change up is to make them WARY OF YOU, by being unpredictable WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION, so learn how NOT to argue, simply withdraw your PRESENCE from them POLITELY, and DO SOMETHING ELSE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE LOST INTEREST IN THEM AT THAT TIME. In this way you learn how to control the QUALITY OF CONNECTION YOU HAVE, to CHOKE IT, and stop being ridiculously generous with something so fucking precious TO YOU – learn that they need to PLEASE YOU to even bother with them, and feel your BETTER THAN in that moment. These are your actual Superpowers, THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM, they are part of BEING GIFTED YOU SHOULD OF BEEN TAUGHT AS A KID, but you have let Fake You twist them into something else, often to pervert your GIFT into your BASIC, SOMETHING THAT COSTS YOU YOUR FUTURE, UNLESS YOU FIX IT.

YOU DON’T NEED TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE, SO LEARN HOW TO MAKE THE IMPORTANT THINGS OF OTHERS TOTALLY UNIMPORTANT TO YOU BY ‘FORGETTING THEM’ without explanation or care – BE RUTHLESS THE EASY WAY. At the start you will see just WHO IS THE MOST DESPERATE TO TAKE YOU DOWN A ‘PEG OR 2’, as your ongoing ‘humiliation’ is so important to them that they struggle to function without it, so use that realization to snuff them out quickly – THEY ARE PARASITES, THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE FOOD CHAIN, WHY CARE. You are NOT OBLIGATED TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING UNLESS IT IS ACTUALLY ‘BETTER THAN’ YOU, as then it helps you just to be ‘near it’, but remember not to FEUD WITH PEOPLE, DON’T HATE THEM OR MAKE THEM ENEMIES, AS THAT WILL COST YOU JUST THE SAME, you must CUT THEM OFF, show them how desperate they are, WHILE YOU HAVE SIMPLY ‘LOST INTEREST’ AND NO LONGER REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE ON ABOUT – THEY DON’T MATTER, IT IS YOU WHO ARE MAKING THEM MATTER!

NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT BEING RUTHLESS, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, HOWEVER BIGGER FOOL YOU HAVE BEEN ALL THESE YEARS, simply see it as the beginning of A ‘BETTER THAN’ REPUTATION, Better Than before = YOU ARE ARISTOS, WHICH MEANS YOU ARE NOT SOMEONES ‘PET’, so you are polite, not stupid. Try and start to see these things ENERGETICALLY, PRACTICALLY, try and see how much better your life is when you KEEP YOUR ENERGY FOR YOURSELF, but you must find YOUR WAY OF DOING THAT – THE WAY REAL YOU WANTS YOU TO DO THAT BECAUSE YOUR REAL YOU HAS THE PATTERNS TO HELP YOU DO IT THEIR WAY…

So I’ll leave you with this – I once taught this lesson to an awesome, mixed culture lady who was sadly a poster girl for the Lost Soul generation, she only got ‘results’ practically, after a lot of trouble with her reputation, when she realized she NEEDED TO STOP SMILING ‘VUNERABLY’ and TALK WAY LESS NERVOUS ‘BOLLOCKS’. But it was much more than this, see MUCH later on, she ‘confessed’ that one day she was trying to get her feral tom cat Mickey to move off the couch so she could sit down, but he scratched her viciously then went straight back to sleep, and IT HIT HER in THAT SAME MOMENT SHE NEEDED TO BE ‘MORE CAT’ AND ‘LESS DOG’. She UNDERSTOOD in that moment she had spent her whole life thus far ACTING LIKE HER MOTHERS TREASURED GOLDEN RETRIEVER ‘OSCAR’, who was super loyal and obedient so received the majority of her mother’s love, and that had TOTALLY FUCKED HER LIFE UP. In her paraphrased words, ‘in a second a veil was lifted from my eyes, and I remembered who the fuck I was, because I understood WHAT I WAS, BY UNDERSTANDING WHAT I WAS NOT…’.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO NOW THAT YOU ‘ARE NOT’?

WHAT DO YOU SAY, THINK, ACT OUT, RUN TOWARD, RUN AWAY FROM, IMAGINE, FANTASIZE, FEAR, DESIRE, THAT YOU ‘ARE NOT’?

Yes, I wonder what will make that happen for you… but don’t worry, whatever it is, however long it takes will still be the EASIEST WAY TO FIND OUT for YOU, just try and get a bit smarter in the meantime, eh, AS THAT PROCESS IS WHAT REAL YOU WILL USE TO SHOW ‘YOU’  TO YOURSELF. See, whatever it is, it will be A GROWN UP, THAT KNOWS HOW TO BRACE ITSELF AGAINST FAKE YOU, AGAINST CHALLENGE ‘PROACTIVELY’, WHEN THERE IS NO NEED TO, SO IS ALWAYS ON THE ‘FRONT FOOT’, LOOKING FOR THE SHIT, rather than creeping around at the back, hiding, hoping not to be seen, waiting to have to react, waiting to fail, waiting to be wrong, waiting to be tired, scared and bored, ‘WHILST YOUR LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT YOU’. And how shit is that.

SO TAKE A LOOK AT THE FEATURE IMAGE OF THIS POST, and see something of yourself in it, before pondering for a moment, in a hand-to-hand fight, that beautiful creature would rip your throat out inside 3 seconds with no hesitation whatsoever, however much you cried out for help, however fast you tried to ‘hide’, ‘run away’, or ‘please it’. See your ONLY CHANCE is to stand still and then step ‘toward it’, as it would be forced to consider that you might just be DANGEROUS, indeed you may have something sharp enough and long enough to stab it in the face, TO GO FOR ITS EYES, and all cats hate that, SO usually run. But then again, THAT SHIT WOULD TAKE SOME SERIOUS ‘BOTTLE’, don’t you think, so YOUR GOD HELP YOU IF YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO DEVELOP ANY OF THAT PRECIOUS QUALITY, as they won’t even find enough bits left of your corpse to bury, BECAUSE SHE, AND ALL THE OTHER VULTURES, WILL EAT YOU ALIVE.

TO LIVE THE GIFTED LIFE TAKES ‘BOTTLE’.

YOU WERE BORN WITH THIS BOTTLE BECAUSE YOU ARE SPIRITED – YOU DON’T NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT OF SOME GOD TO ‘FALL FROM ABOVE LIKE A DOVE’, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN, IT IS CONGENTIAL, IT IS WHAT YOU ARE ‘MADE OF’, IT IS NOT FAKE YOU.

SO EXTRACT YOUR BOTTLE FROM YOUR BASIC AND START USING IT TO GET SMARTER.

SEE, YOU GET SMARTER WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO ‘BRACE YOURSELF’ OUT OF SUPERIORITY ALL THE TIME, PROACTIVELY, NOT OUT OF FEAR/DESIRE AS A REACTION – THIS IS THE ONLY TIME WHEN YOU ARE TRULY ALIVE, WHEN YOU ‘LIVE IN YOUR SPIRIT’.

THEN YOU WILL START TO GET AN AWFUL LOT BETTER AT YOUR LIFE, AND ALL OF THIS ARISTOS STUFF WILL START TO COME NATURALLY, A LONG WITH MUCH, MUCH MORE BESIDES, GIVEN FROM REAL YOU, YOUR SPIRIT.

SO TODAY YOU ARE GOING TO LEARN TO USE THE ENERGY YOU ARE SAVING TO ‘GET UP’ FOR PROACTIVELY ‘BRACING YOURSELF’, SO YOU CAN START TO LIVE A LITTLE MORE OUTSIDE OF YOUR BASIC, TO LIVE IN SPIRIT WHENEVER YOU WISH…

THE KEY MILESTONE IS WHEN ‘YOU WANT TO LIVE IN SPIRIT’ AS A COMFORT, ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE YOU WILL FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS OUT OF ‘SUPERIORITY’, ‘BETTER THAN’ LIKE A DRUG, RATHER THAN THE NERVOUS EMBARRASSMENT OF ‘INFERIORITY’, LIKE ‘A SLAVE’ AS A REACTION TO CIRCUMSTANCE – YOU WILL HAVE SOME POWER OVER YOUR FAKE SELF.

YES, YOU MUST LEARN TO DO IT ‘RIGHT’, YOU MUST CHANGE HOW YOU DO IT TO STOP FAKE YOU STEALING IT FROM YOU, AS THEN YOU UNDERSTAND ANOTHER KEY ARISTOS CONCEPT – RESPECT – BECAUSE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ‘SELF-RESPECT’.

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND WHY ‘RESPECTING YOUR OWN KIND’, YOUR EQUALS AND YOUR BETTERS IS USED IN ALL DEVELOPMENT SYSTEMS AS YOU ARE RESPECTING YOURSELF THIS WAY, AS A ‘POSITIVE SELF CONSCIOUS ATTENTION’, VIA YOUR ‘ACTIVE’ BOTTLE.

JUST SO YOU KNOW, FOR THE REST OF THIS POST, WHAT YOU CALL ‘BOTTLE’, WE CALL ‘PRESENCE’.

Do you GET IT yet, do you have enough material to see this in YOURSELF YET?

For example do you see how fine the line is between ALL POWERFUL SPIRITUAL ROYALTY, and the SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, degenerate ANIMAL TRASH that is your HEDONISTIC SLAVE, YOUR FAKE ANTI-HERO? Do you think you have enough practical advice that you can START DOING THIS STUFF NOW, START TO CHANGE, start to EXPLORE THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY OF YOU, start to use your ‘Rod’ and your ‘Staff’ to COMFORT YOURSELF ‘EMOTIONALLY’? Do you see how we ARE NOT RELIGIOUS, but we use the exact same mechanisms TO ‘BELEIVE IN OURSELVES’, not some stereotypical Mesopotamian God, because we don’t actually NEED THAT GOD, WE NEED ‘OUR GOD’ TO HELP US? That we must DEFER TO, LEARN FROM and RESPECT OUR GOD, because it is WHAT WE ARE, indeed is what every single MONOTHEISTIC religion on that planet actually started out as, THE WORSHIP OF YOUR GOD, THE SPIRITUAL FARTHER AND MOTHER OF YOU, so you understand all Spiritual relationships are based on the ‘Familial Responsibility’ that we feel for all GIFTED..?

Hope so, ‘CAUSE TODAY YOU NEED TO SEE THAT TO ‘GET SMARTER’ YOU NEED TO ‘GET PRACTICAL’, YOU NEED TO ‘DO’, so YOU NEED TO ‘GET UP’ FOR THIS. So lets start USING ALL THIS to get you out of your moments shall we, LET’S START TO BREAK YOUR ANIMAL STATE OF IDENTIFICATION, YOUR STATE OF ATTACHMENT TO YOUR TRIVIAL LITTLE MOMENTS. Then we can get you out of your ANIMAL CLASS SYSTEM, your GOAL OF WEALTH ABOVE ALL, where you whole positive or negative ‘sense of yourself’ is based on having ‘slightly’ more (of some meaningless thing) than those you compare yourself to, or having some imaginary POWER OVER OTHER, some ‘secrets’, some ‘influence’, so you can learn what REAL ‘BETTER THAN’ IS, and stop using your FAKE SHIT to get by.    

THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE CLASS SYSTEM IN THIS WORLD, ALWAYS HAS BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE – YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS. 

TODAY YOU MUST START TO EVOLVE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, SO YOU CAN STOP BEING DEGENERATE, STOP DEVOLVING YOUR LEVEL. 

IF YOU DON’T START DOING THIS YOU WILL CONTINUE TO DEGENERATE, YOUR EPISODES OF MADDNESS WILL BECOME LONGER AND MORE PERMANENT.

SEE… WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE YOU ELITIST IN ORDER TO ‘SAVE YOU’, THAT IS WHAT ‘SUPER HUMAN’ SCHOOL IS, BITCH. 

Who knew eh? Yep, Spirituality always comes back to one simple point, WHAT ALL TEACHERS ARE ABOUT – you must EVOLVE OR GO MAD, you cannot stay the same, as NOTHING ON THIS PLANET EVER STAYS THE SAME, EVERYTHING CHANGES to ‘BETTER THAN’, OR ‘WORSE THAN’. So best pick a side eh, tempus fugit… MAY YOUR REAL YOU GRANT YOU GOOD LUCK IN YOUR JOURNEY, ‘CAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT – TODAY THE GLOVES COME OFF, TODAY ITS US AND THEM, and you don’t wanna be them, BECAUSE THEY NOT ONLY HATE THEMSELVES, THEY HATE YOU AS WELL. When you understand ‘Animal Nature’ in this world, when you understand it is ‘RED IN TOOTH AND CLAW’ at its core, YOU WILL NEVER, EVER GO BACK TO IT, because you will KNOW WHAT LIVING AT THE CONSCIOUS LEVEL OF AN ‘INSECT’ REALLY MEANS – YOU DON’T EXIST, YOU ARE YOUR CHOSEN ‘HERD’.

So here is your first TEST – look into the mirror now, and GIVE UP THE VALUES OF YOUR HERD, YOU DOMINANT VALUE SET, YOUR IDENTITY, AND ‘DENY THEM’, THEN RESTATE YOUR ‘SENSE OF IDENTIFICATION’ AS ‘GIFTED’. You may not consciously know your DOMINANT IDENTITY as you are still very stupid, but it is easy to find, IT IS WHAT YOU DEFEND THE MOST, EVEN WHEN IT IS WRONG, BAD, ANTI ‘PC’, OF NO VALUE TO YOUR LIFE, so IT RISKS YOUR FUTURE TO DEFEND – it is what you are ‘led around by the nose’ by, SO IT IS your BIGGEST SINGLE FORM OF ANIMAL CONTROL. Be clear NOW – your RELIGION IS GIFTED, your ANCESTRY IS GIFTED, your NATIONALITY IS GIFTED, your football team is GIFTED, your cause is THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE GIFTED. You are NOT MODERN, MODERN IS DEGENERATE, MODERN CHANGES EVERY FUCKING DAY, MODERN IS FICKLE AND CONSUMER CAPITALIST, MODERN IS GREEDY AND LAZY AND BANAL – YOU ARE ANCIENT BECAUSE YOUR GOAL IN ALL THINGS IS QUALITY, the goal of ROYALTY, WHICH IS PERMANENT…

How easy or hard you find that to be will tell you HOW FAR DOWN THE ANIMAL FOOD CHAIN YOU ARE, as even the best of the animals change sides all the time, AND THE UNSCHOOLED HIGHLY GIFTED DO THIS NATURALLY, EVEN MAKE A POINT OF HAVING FEW VALUES OUTSIDE OF THEIR HEDONISM, BECAUSE THEIR REAL YOU KNOWS ALL THE NORMAL ONES ARE TOTAL CRAP, A TRICK FOR FOOLS, THAT HAVE NO REALITY IN THEMSELVES. The awful 4th Way phrase, so popular in the Enlightenment, is that you are A ‘CITIZEN OF THE WORLD’, but what it actually means is you are ‘better than’ an animal, YOU CHOOSE THE PATH OF THE INDIVIDUAL, THE INDIVIDUAL THAT IS ‘REAL YOU’. Your HERD is a form of social control, WITHOUT WHICH YOU WOULD ALL KILL EACH OTHER FOR A CHUNK OF BREAD, IF YOU WERE HUNGRY ENOUGH…

Most IMPORTANTLY, STOP DELUDING YOURSELF IF YOU HAVE THE MODERN WESTERN, LIBERAL, WOKE MINDSET that you are already ABOVE THAT – This modern crap IS THE VERY WORST HERD TO BELONG TO BECAUSE IT ‘THE HIDEOUT’ OF THE ‘GUTLESS’, for the weak and stupid who go along WITH THE EASIEST AND MOST SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE OPTION… That’s not you is it, YOU ARE NOT A TOTAL PUSSY, ARE YOU, with NO ‘BOTTLE’ WHATSOEVER..?

So know if you choose to live in this herd, the evolving crock of shit that is THE LEFT WING VIOLENCE OF CANCEL CULTURE, THE GREATEST CURRENT THREAT TO THIS WORLD, YOU WILL NEVER DEVELOP YOURSELF UNDER ANY SYSTEM, because you are DELUSIONAL, AS A ‘WAY OF LIFE’. See YOU THINK WHAT THEY TELL YOU TO THINK, DON’T YOU, YOU ARE JUST A COLLECTION OF OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS – SO STOP READING NOW, YOU SILLY LITTLE DORK – THERE IS A TIME COMING IN THIS WORLD WHERE YOU MAY NEED TO FIGHT WITH WEAPONS AND KILL PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU JUST TO KEEP YOUR WAY OF LIFE, YOUR RELATIVE FREEDOM, AND YOUR CANCEL CULTURE WILL BE FUCK ALL USE TO YOU THEN… 

So to sum it all up VERY SIMPLY: 

YOU CANNOT BE A PUSSY ON THE LEFT-HAND PATH.

YOU MUST HAVE THE ACCESS AND THE ENERGY TO USE YOUR BOTTLE, YOUR ‘PRESENCE’ TO DEVELOP.

IF YOU DON’T YOU MUST CHOOSE A ‘SLAVE RELIGION’, A PATH FOR THE WEAK, AS THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DESIGNED FOR, THEY ARE A ‘FAN CLUB’.

SEE THE 3 ABRAHAMIC RELIGIONS ‘NEED’ YOU TO BE WEAK, SO YOU WORSHIP AN EXTERNAL GOD OR CHURCH LEADER TO GET STRONGER, YOU GIVE YOURSELF AWAY NOW, FOR A BETTER FUTURE LATER, LIKE A SLAVE, WHICH IS WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND, HOW THEIR LEADERS SEE YOU.

SO THESE RELIGIONS ARE DESIGNED TO REPLACE YOUR ANIMAL HERD WITH THEIR HERD VALUES, THAT IS THE GENIUS OF THEM, AND IF YOU HAVE A STRONG BACKGROUND AS A JEW OR A MUSLIM THESE REPLACEMENT HERDS CAN BE VERY, VERY HARD TO SHAKE OFF – YOU ARE A ‘SACRIFICE’.

DON’T GET ME WRONG HOWEVER, I RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THESE 2 OLD WAYS AS MAKING YOU FAR MORE RECEPTIVE TO THE LEFT HAND PATH IF ‘YOU ARE STRONG’ AS A PERSON, IT IS WESTERN PROTESTANT CHRISTIANITY THAT IS DEGENERATE, TO THE POINT THAT IT BARELY EXISTS NOW.

SO LETS BE SUPER CLEAR – TO FOLLOW THE PATH OF THE ARISTOS YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR HERD TO ‘THE CULT OF YOU’, YOUR ‘CLASS’, OTHERWISE YOU WILL REMAIN A SLAVE TO EITHER AN ANIMAL OR RELIGIOUS ‘HERD’ AND NEVER ESCAPE YOUR MOMENTS.  

Did you FEEL THAT LAST BIT  ‘STING A LITTLE’? Great, as that means there may be some HOPE FOR YOUR ‘RAPID DEVELOPMENT’ – IT APPEARS YOU HAVE ENOUGH SELF-AWARENESS TO CHANGE. See, I CAN TELL IF YOU HAVE SOME BOTTLE IN 1 MIN, I can tell if you are full of Self Pity, pointless blaming and the projection of your own stupidity onto others, LOST IN THE FAKE WORLD OF SOME GUTLESS DORKS. Or IF YOU HAVE THE BOTTLE TO COPE WITH SOME SHIT, BEFORE YOU GET AROUND TO CHANGING IT ON YOUR OWN TERMS, like an Aristocrat. But then you probably already know that IF YOU KNOW ME, as I make a point of testing you – EVERYTHING HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, YOU ARE A STEREOTYPE…

GET SMARTER TODAY – BE ‘NOBODY’ AND FEEL IT ‘HIT’!

RE-READ THIS PREFACE OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU HAVE GOT SMARTER!

I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU, BUT YOU MUST GET SMARTER FIRST BY UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF!

DO YOU GET IT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU MUST ‘GET IT’, AND HOW YOU ‘GET IT’ SO IT ‘HITS’?

Hope so, otherwise all of this today will be more Fake You, BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT YET ‘DISREGARD FAKE YOU’ AND FEEL WHAT ‘REAL YOU IS TRYING TO TELL YOU’, so you will be stuck reading this as a HERD ANIMAL, FOREVER CIRCLING ROUND your petty fears, desires and boredoms AS JUST MORE OF YOUR MANY HERD PROJECTIONS, that stupid little YOU still thinks ‘YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM YOU’, ARE YOUR VERY OWN OPINION, however ridiculously STEREOTYPICAL even you know they are – YOU ARE FAKE, WHAT YOU THINK WITH YOUR OLD FAKE HERD PATTERNS OF EGO SAFETY IS OF NO USE OR INTEREST TO ANYONE, YOU MUST START AGAIN WITH YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS, ABOUT ME, ABOUT YOURSELF, as that is the only way you can CHANGE!

No Left-Hand path type ever wants to use Religious Analogies, but it is NO harm in this case – YOU CAN NOT DEVELOP AS YOUR FAKE SELF, BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST TO SMALL TO UNDERSTAND. You must see that next to your REAL SELF you know nothing, you say nothing, you think nothing, you see nothing, you hear NOTHING, you do nothing, AS REAL YOU IS MASSIVE IN COMPARISON TO FAKE YOU, you the insect. We do not insult you for FUN, we insult you so you understand that right now all of this is beyond your comprehension AT YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, BUT ‘YOUR GOD’, YOUR SPIRIT DOES UNDERSTAND, because it knows the TRUTH, the REAL, so it will help you see that if you STOP USING YOUR EGO SAFETY, YOUR CONTINUAL NEED TO BE CLEVER to judge everything as good or bad. YOU ARE NOT YOU, you are much, MUCH BIGGER THAN THE TINY, FLAKEY MESS THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE but the only way you will ever know that is if you ALLOW YOURSELF TO CHANGE, TO RESET, TO DITCH YOUR OLD SENSE OF SELF…

One more time – FORGET YOURSELF, BE THE NOBODY I TAUGHT YOU TO BE, AND THEN READ THIS WITH AN OPEN MIND AGAIN, OTHERWISE YOU WILL STAY stuck forever in the petty comforts of BEING THE MOST SELF-IMPORTANT BUG ON YOUR OWN PERSONAL PUDDLE OF PISS, as you slowly shrink and disappear, and that is just too bloody sad for words, don’t you think – DON’T LET YOUR FAKE YOU BE ‘THE GATEKEEPER’ OF REAL YOU AND THE REAL WORLD, IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY ROUND. Accept this now, in that private time you use to DEVELOP YOUR SELF, AND BE NOBODY, so all of this can get a shitload quicker as trust me, ONCE YOU SEE JUST HOW BIG A VACOUS TWAT YOU ARE, you will want nothing else than to BE DIFFERENT, BE ARISTOS, particularly if you are BRAVE ENOUGH TO LET YOUR CONSCIENCE TEAR FAKE YOU TO SHREDS, and ‘give in to’ your REAL self, BUT THAT TAKES SOME SERIOUS BOTTLE…

Please understand the reason for this level of EMPHASIS, understand that we are not some RELIGIOUS FANATICS, expecting you to take all of this on FAITH – YOU MUST GET THIS RATIONALLY. We don’t treat you like children, we don’t get you to repeat some pre-worded prayer as a petition to a higher power to HELP YOU, THAT EVERYTHING IS THE WILL OF ALLAH, that you can do NOTHING FOR YOURSELF. This is the 4th way, YOU MUST SEE THAT IF YOU CONTINUE TO DEFEND YOUR EGO AS RIGHT, AS GOOD, AS TRUE you will continue to make the same bloody mistakes you have always made, INSTEAD OF REALIZING YOUR EGO IS THE REASON YOU ARE IN SUCH A FUCKING MESS. Your FAKE EGO is the Gatekeeper to CHANGE, TO BETTER THAN, and right now you are stuck on the WRONG SIDE OF THAT GATE AS IT DOES NOT WANT YOU TO CHANGE, it wants to DEFEND ITSELF, AS THAT IS THE REASON YOU HAVE AN EGO, TO DEFEND YOU FROM THE UNEXPLAINED, UNWANTED AND UNWARRANTED EMOTIONAL PAIN OF AN ANIMAL.

See, I know from bitter experience just how much the NEED TO GO ON DOING IT ‘YOUR’ WAY is the path to TOTAL SELF DESTRUCTION, so I HAVE TO FIND A FORM OF WORDS TO GET THIS TO HIT YOU – you are simply doing the best you can with the little you know, NO ONE COULD OF EXPECTED YOU TO DO ANY BETTER, but now you know better BECAUSE I HAVE TAUGHT you HOW TO KNOW BETTER, so you must be prepared to throw away everything that is KEEPING YOU STUCK AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS. STOP DEFENDING YOURSELF AND SIMPLY ACCEPT THAT YOU WERE ‘WRONG’ OUT OF IGNORANCE – FIND THE KEY FEATURE OF YOUR FAKE SELF, YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AND GIVE IT UP, THEN MOVE ON – WHAT’S TO LOSE NOW, EH?

GET THIS, see it THEORETICALLY, then read this preface again and do your best TO GROW UP BY GETTING SMARTER. Honestly, once you get the hang of this TRUTH STUFF, it gets very easy and much faster, but you can thank me later. Just try and keep in mind that your EGO is a childish transition you are supposed to grow out of via some rights of passage, when you develop some bottle. To live in your EGO as an adult is akin to being pushed around in a pram that no longer fits you and is slowly wearing out, before it breaks under your weight and miss use, and you go slightly mad. But you can have these rights of passage anytime you like, indeed many Gifted Hedonists have by accident, but they only associate them with their basic, much as some you may of been lucky and had some Aristos training from your family, particularly if you are high caste Asian/Indian, even one of the those High Persian Pakistani Prince or Princess, where this stuff was taught at the dinner table. So know wherever you are starting from, YOU MUST FIND YOUR ‘BOTTLE’ TODAY, and get used to BRACING YOURSELF VIA YOUR SUPERIORITY not fear…

Ahhh, but ‘what do I brace myself against, what do I react TO in the moment, at the start like’, I hear some of the smarter amongst you ask? So the trick TO GETTING STARTED, TO PRACTICE HAVING BOTTLE SO YOU CUT THE PATTERN IN YOUR SOUL is both simple and ancient – WHENEVER YOU FEEL THE PETTY THRILL OF SECRET CLEVERNESS, REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO MAKE A TOTAL TWAT OF YOURSELF IN AN OBVIOUS, TOE CURLINGLY SAD WAY, and EVERYONE WILL SEE IT, AND DESPISE YOU FOR IT. Then BRACE AGAINST THAT SECRET LITTLE THRILL, AND STOP ACTING IT OUT, and be A POLITE ARISTOS INSTEAD BY FEELING YOUR ‘SUPERIORITY TO YOURSELF’. You may know this as the MEDIEVAL TRICK OF THE ‘FOOL’, but you can’t afford ‘retainers’, so you have to learn to do this TO yourself, TO STOP ‘THE FOOL OF FAKE YOU’ CONTINUING TO FUCK YOUR LIFE UP, because you have GOT SMARTER.  

See it this way – YOU DON’T WANT US TO LOOK AT YOU AS ONE MORE GUTLESS, BLIND, STUPID, CRINGY LITTLE RETARD FOREVER, DO YOU..? So have a heart eh, watching you play the TWAT by acting out your programming is so utterly BORING, maybe try and do something unexpected, eh, before the blood starts to leak out of our ears. See, particularly for a few of you I USED TO KNOW, its kinda important to get that, whilst you still use these type of ANIMAL COMFORTS to get through the day, then you are still ‘THEM’, however much you delude your self you are ‘US’ – to be gifted you have to ‘Live Gifted’, otherwise in a very real way you are an even BIGGER FAKE TWAT THAN THEY ARE. So you must seek the comforts of the Aristos instead, BEFORE THAT TIREDNESS AROUND YOUR EYES starts to get a lot worse, and EVEN YOUR ‘ANIMAL ADVANTAGE’ fades to grey.

Yes, teach yourself to be ASHAMED of your LEVEL, OF YOUR TOTAL LACK OF CLASS THAT ‘WE’ CAN ALL SEE,  and then you will become ‘US’ pretty damn quickly. But don’t get lost in the degenerate Western Religious morality of ‘doing it anyway’, then ‘making up for it’ later, in atoning for your ‘sins against yourself’. We FUCKING HATE THAT SHIT, as that is the route of all quid-pro-quo culture that has so infected the West with its current level of mediocrity, in its halfway house of accepting that you are shit because its ‘normal’, and therefore your ‘society’ makes it acceptable TO BE NOTHING, as long as you quietly regret it later, then that’s ‘ok’. See in ORDER TO EAT THE ENERGY OF FAKE YOU, TO TAKE IT BACK, YOU MUST ACTUALLY STOP BEING A TWAT IN THE MOMENT OF WANTING TO BE A TWAT, otherwise it is yet another of your many exercises in EGO SAFETY, and simply adds to your delusion – WE DON’T DO SLAVE RELIGION ON THE LEFT-HAND PATH, WE DO GIFTED KARMA INSTEAD BECAUSE ITS VERY REAL. However strange this sounds, it is possible to do a HUGE amount of development by simply stopping all you tiny, twaty little comforters IN THE MOMENT OF WANTING TO DO THEM over and over again, that most other folks don’t even notice, BUT YOU DO.

So the greatest Day-to-Day trick you will EVER LEARN ON THIS PATH of the ARISTOS IS SIMPLY THIS:

GET SMARTER SO YOU CAN STOP USING THE COMFORTERS OF A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL AND START USING ‘THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM’. 

THEN YOU WILL FEEL SUPERIOR BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO THE THOUGHTS AND URGES OF YOUR ANIMAL COMFORTERS, THEN YOU WILL BE ARISTOS, YOU WILL BE ‘US’, BECAUSE YOU WILL KNOW YOU ARE NO LONGER ‘THEM’, YOU WILL BE ‘BETTER THAN’ THAT, YOU WILL BE ‘BRAVE’.

BUT MOST OF ALL, YOU WILL KNOW WHAT REAL ‘SIGNIFICANCE’ FEELS LIKE BECAUSE YOUR BODY WILL MAKE MUCH MORE OF THAT FEELING, SO YOU WILL ‘POSSESS YOURSELF’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME, AND ALL OF THIS THEORY WILL BECOME ‘YOUR TRUTH’, AS THAT IS THE POINT OF ‘SIGNIFICANCE’.

YES, YOUR BODY IS A CHEMICAL FACTORY, AND IN THE GIFTED THAT FACTORY IS CONTROLLED BY THE QUALITY OF YOUR SPIRIT, TO ‘BE PRESENT IN YOUR PRESENCE’, BUT YOU REPRESS IT VIA YOUR PATTERNS, SO YOU MUST LEARN TO DEAL WITH YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL REALITY, WITH OUT OTHER DRUGS.

CRUCIALLY, YOU CAN THEN GROW UP ENOUGH TO BE READY FOR THE REST OF THIS, READY TO BREAK YOUR ANIMAL ‘STATE OF ATTACHMENT’.

Yes, we are going to deal with one of the biggies today, what 4th Wayers call your constant state of ‘Identification’, the thing that most defines you as an ANIMAL because in this state you need to constantly OVERPOWER that Animal to develop, but without that state development is natural and easy for GIFTED. However much this is taught in our New Age world as the Buddhist version ‘Attachment’, we teach this the Ancient Greek way, the STOIC WAY, Way of the Aristos, we call it your constant STATE OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. See the only reason you feel aneixty for things is that you have lost your INTERNAL SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, you have lost your SELF RESPECT and allowed Fake You to pervert this need by ONLY FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR EXTERNAL THINGS, as this allows Fake You to control you via the immediate need to REACT TO EXTERNAL THINGS. And that has to go – YOU HAVE TO SWITCH THIS BACK TO DEVELOP, AS YOU NEED TO STOP BEING DOMINATED BY YOUR PATTERN TRIGGERS TO EXTERNAL STIMULOUS = FAKE YOU. Be clear, your REACTIONS ARE HOW FAKE YOU CONTINUES TO EXIST – ZENMEN ARE TAUGHT TO NOT REACT TO ANYTHING…

Now this is a very personal teaching of mine BECAUSE IT IS TAUGHT VERY BADLY BY MOST SYSTEMS, AS THEIR TEACHING RELIES ON PATTERN REPLACEMENT, RATHER THAN THE RATIONALISATION OF TRUTH so it HITS AS GNOSIS. See over the years I have found it much MORE EFFECTIVE THEORECTICALLY TO ‘EXPLAIN’ ATTACHMENT AS YOUR CONSTANT NEED TO ‘FEEL RESPONSIBLE’, even though it can be a struggle to see you need to be responsible for a tree you have just looked at, when you break that state IT IS MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE AS YOU WILL FEEL THE LOSS OF THAT RESPONSIBILITY CLEARER, TO THE POINT THAT IS THEN MUCH EASIER TO GET TO THAT LOSS OF RESPONSIBILITY AS A STATE, and then YOU CAN MIMIC IT AS A PRACTISE BEFORE ITS GONE. You simply tell yourself you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for any chosen example, SO ‘FUCK IT’ – YOU ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU CAN DO OR CHOOSE NOT TO DO, like a good STOIC, as Stoicism in itself is actually built on top of Breaking this State of Mind, more correctly of BEING ALL THE TIME, and is the basis of all Marcus Aurelius’s best work.

You should use this idea TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND SELF RESPECT, OF RESPECT FOR SOMETHING ABOVE YOU THAT IS WAY BIGGER THAN YOUR CURRENT LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF YOURSELF, which currently sees only a tiny part of the WHOLE YOU IN SOME MOMENTARY CONTEXT. Indeed you don’t even see ALL OF FAKE YOU – YOU DON’T SEE WHAT FAKE YOU IS ACTUALLY AIMING AT, ITS GOAL, YOU SEE THE STEPS FAKE YOU USES TO GET YOU TO ITS GOAL, AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THOSE STEPS AS PART OF THAT GOAL, YOU SEE THEM IN ISOLATION AS PART OF YOUR CHARACTER, CAUSE YOU ARE STUPID.

However much this sounds to you like a nice to have, NEVER DOUBT HOW MUCH EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE GETS BETTER WHEN YOU BREAK YOUR STATE OF ATTACHMENT, BECAUSE IT IS YOUR PRISON GUARD, YOUR GATE KEEPER. When you lose that FEELING OF RESPONSIBILITY you will no longer be dominated by a set of childish, out-of-date patterns that have been perverted by Fake You, so continually fuck your life up. This issue is so BAD that it has been the front end of all religious systems of Esoteric development for thousands of years, but the most popular way of doing it is simply NOT FOR YOU – the VOW OF POVERTY, SO YOU LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING TO CARE ABOUT, and even that can take years to truly hit. Many of the other Aristos type systems tend to use temporary loss, the fabled RONIN phase of the samurai classes is the Zen approach, which I have personally done more than once, TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING FOR A TIME AND DISAPPEAR, and is EXTREMELY INSTRUCTIONAL, but none of that is necessary when you KNOW THE WAY OF THE ‘SLY MAN’, when you can directly access this state through the use of YOUR EYES, which in truth is the GREEK way, and as with all things Greek, also the GNOSTIC Christian way – IT IS WHAT THE IMAGE OF A CROSS IS REMINDING YOU TO ‘DO’. However, even with this colossal SPEED UP, it helps a lot to realize upfront the feeling you are trying to get rid of, and PRACISE QUIETLY NOT FEELING RESPONSIBLE, by realizing that you currently do feel responsible for external things ALL THE TIME, BUT HAVE REPRESSED IT AS ‘NORMAL’ – RESPONSIBILITY = THE NEED TO CARE ABOUT IT = TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT IT = TO THINK ABOUT SHIT SO FAKE YOU CAN EXIST BY CONTROLLING THOSE THOUGHTS AS REACTIONS.

Yes, the trick is to understand YOUR SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY AS A FEELING, rather than a process, rather than as ownership, as then you will start to see how you FEEL THIS WAY about everything out of habit, for no OBVIOUS REASON TO CARE ABOUT ALL external things, but you don’t feel this way about yourself, WHICH IS ACTUALLY A FORM OF MADNESS… More about this later, but DO TRY AND GET COMFORTABLE WITH THIS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT APPROACH OF MINE, it will help you to understand just how dominated by the need to react to things you are, to the point that if you are not reacting then FAKE YOU CEASES TO EXIST for a time, AND YOU CAN BE YOUR REAL SELF. So be very clear, you are not attached to this or that thing, IT IS A CONSTANT STATE, a State where everything you engage with outside of you causes some level of emotional reaction in you, either good, bad or indifferent, but however un noticeable it maybe for you, IT IS STILL A REACTION, because it comes from your mental patterns. So those patterns kick in and OWN YOU FOR THAT TIME, like a dog chasing a ball, until it finds food, or hears another dog, a never-ending cycle of nothing, WHILST YOU THINK YOU ARE THINKING THIS STUFF. Trust me, you are really just watching a bad movie of your childish pattern playout, WHILST FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL AT SUCH A NORMAL LEVEL THAT YOU ‘HAVE’ TO FOLLOW THOSE PATTERNS IN THE MOMENT, so CAN NOT CONTROL YOUR MOMENTS = THE BARS ON YOUR MENTAL CAGE, THE REASON YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR PATTERNS.

One thing worth mentioning before we leave this TOPIC is the DANGERS OF BREAKING YOUR STATE OF ATTACHMENT TO THINGS, LOSING YOUR FEELING OF RESPONSIBILITY, YOUR SLAVE MINDSET, without UNDERSTANDING IT. See, an an animal you WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING AROUND YOU, BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL NORMAL.  However shit that normal is, it can be difficult if you just lose it out of the blue via THEORY, which does happen, and OFTEN LEADS TO REGRESSION BACK TO AN EVEN MORE SLAVE STATE THAT YOU WERE BEFORE, as you try and prove to yourself that you are NORMAL. You must therefore get the benefit of this CHANGE VERY CLEARLY, you must see how you are played by YOUR NEED TO IDENTIFY WITH EVERYTHING AS YOU, HOW EVERYTHING IS WORSE IN THIS STATE – IT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL YOUR DAY-TO-DAY ANXIETY. Loosing this is LIFE CHANGING, as it also helps remove the animal parasites from your life who ALWAYS MAKE YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM, that it is your fault, SO YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND PAY THE PRICE, which is of course TOTAL BOLLOCKS. YOU ARE ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF, you only want to be ATTACHED TO EXTERNAL THINGS BECAUSE YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE, the MAD, destructive nature of THE DELUSION OF UNCONSCIOUS ATTACHMENT TO SHIT, INSTEAD OF CONSCIOUS ATTACHMENT TO YOUR REAL SELF.

This ATTACHMENT TO YOURSELF IS SELF-RESPECT, but not at the start, whilst you are still an animal, whilst you are still only self-conscious out of some sort of embarrassment – AT THE START YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE ‘FOR’ YOURSELF (YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS), YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE ‘TO’ YOURSELF, TO THE BIGGER, BETTER PARTS OF UNCONSCIOUS YOU, that CONSCIOUS YOU DOES NOT YET KNOW EXIST. This is the reason that Religion is so big on ‘Creator Gods’ for animals, for folks who have NO Real You to help them understand that CREATOR GOD, but it is YOUR ACTUAL REAL YOU, your Spirit, should you have been given one at BIRTH, so you don’t need an external one. Yes, what you are doing now is ONLY A PART OF WHO YOU ARE, and a very small, lesser part, THAT BELONGS TO THE BIGGER PARTS YOU DON’T KNOW YET.

The best way to understand this is that REMOVING YOUR SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR THINGS STOPS YOU BECOMING ATTACHED TO THEM AND MAKES YOU MORE SELF AWARE IN THE MOMENT. Right now you will find it hard to be Self Aware even of your body for more than a few moments, whilst occasionally being aware of your reputation via how people treat you, look at you, which is normally a form of self-conscious embarrassment.

So be very clear – THE STATE OF ATTACHMENT IS VERY STICKY, SO EVEN AFTER YOU KNOW HOW TO BREAK YOUR ATTACHMENT TO THINGS AT WILL, YOUR STATE OF ATTACHMENT WILL CONTINUE, WITH NO OBJECT OF PROJECTION. If you were not previously aware of this state of low level tension it will start to feel like YOU ARE CONTINUALLY TENSE FOR NO REASON, which is how an animal lives, it is just that your delusion has started to drop away so you feel it now. Therefore you need to use ABSTRACT METHOD BASED ON YOUR EYES TO LESSEN THAT TENSION, including the NOBODY PROCESS I TAUGHT YOU IN PART 3, so you can learn to drop off your animal mind and BE Aristos instead, as a process whenever you feel this tension moment to moment – YOU WILL NEED TODAYS METHOD TO START TO REMOVE THAT STATE COMPLETELY. When that feeling of RESPONSIBILITY STARTS TO LEAVE YOU, THE FEELING OF ALL YOUR CARES, YOU WILL STOP WANTING TO IDENTIFY WITH THINGS, AND START WANTING TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF, so it is a very clear change, and impossible to miss. But to get the most out of it, FOR IT TO BECOME ATTRACTIVE OUT OF THE BOX YOU SHOULD COMBINE IT WITH MANAGING YOUR OWN CHEMICAL FACTORY BETTER, in order to FEEL BETTER THAN, instead of slightly lost…

SEE WHEN YOU CAN USE YOUR ATTACHMENT AT WILL, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE FORCED TO REACT TO YOUR MOMENTS, AS YOU WILL NO LONGER BE STUCK IN THEM, CHASING DOPAMINE, AND THEY WILL APPEAR AS THEY ARE, a TRIVIAL, MEANINGLESS ‘NOTHING’, LITTLE MORE THAN A SILLY LITTLE REFLECTION OF YOUR OWN, ATTENTION SEEKING DRAMA. But we have to get your CHEMICAL FACTORY working at the level of ELITISM FIRST BY FOCUSING ON THE REALITY OF YOUR SPIRIT, because then YOU will actually CHASE the process of development like you currently chase your drugs, as your spiritual comforts will make your animal comforts feel like the momentary sugar rush of the nasty little boiled sweeties they are – you will become addicted to SEROTONIN, before you combine it with Oxytocin, the greatest and most miss understood drugs your body can produce, BECAUSE THEY ARE SPIRITUAL IN NATURE.

Yes, there really is no need to mention the powerful hormones the GIFTED USE TO BE SUPERIOR for the rest of this post, BUT it is important to understand what under pins all of this today practically, because of one simple Life Lesson – YOUR ANIMAL STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS DOMINATED BY DOPAMINE, which makes you FEEL INFERIOR. Society as it has evolved is a PUSHER OF DOPAMINE, the little rushes of reward that FAKE YOU uses to control you like sweeties, as your addiction to it DEFINES YOU AS A CHILD – IT CREATES THE NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM. Your FAKE YOU CONTROLS THIS HIT IN YOU VIA WHAT YOU CALL ‘ANTICIPATION’, even when that state is TOTALLY FAKE, you still get the hit of that Hormone, however trivial and meaningless. So today know that switching to ELITISM changes YOUR DRUG OF CHOICE and allows you to PRODUCE MUCH, MUCH MORE OF THE GIFTED HORMONES THAT ARE YOUR BIRTHRIGHT. Ahhh… but you always knew this, or so you think…

YES, many Highly Gifted KNOW THIS INTUITIVELY but choose to chase their Spirituality via RECREATIONAL DRUGS, which are actually A COMPENSATION for animals, AND END UP DESTROYING THEIR BODIES’ ABILITY TO PRODUCE THE CORRECT HORMONES. Yes, Caffeine and Nicotine have distinctly SPIRITUAL USES THAT UNDERPIN THEIR EMOTIONAL EFFECT AS THAT IS THE REASON WE HAVE THEM IN THE FORM THEY EXIST TODAY, why many 4th wayers continue to use them in fact, BUT MOST NATURALLY OCCURRING ONES are simple animal comforters. If this is you please try and remember what you are actually trying to do here today AS A REPLACEMENT FOR THE PERVERSION OF YOUR NATURAL GIFTED DESIRE TO FEEL ‘BETTER THAN’, then you will understand it much quicker, and it will be far easier to DO. See YOU will get that Serotonin and Oxytocin are actually gateways to your Conscience level emotions, they are the enablers of them, THE CARRIERS OF THEM, so at the start you need to make this stuff in larger quantities if you want Spirituality to really HIT YOU, then you will start to become WAY MORE SENSITIVE TO YOUR HIGHER SELF, AND ALL THE MASS OF OTHER EMOTIONS YOU ARE HAVING ALL THE TIME, ABOVE YOUR ANIMAL ONES, WHICH ARE BASED ON DOPAMINE.

Just for fun, but right now your only access to SEROTONIN at a meaningful level is a hot bath with MIN a couple of pounds of Epsom salts in it, as that will kick your Spirit in quickly and you will get to see how spiritually exhausted you are via all your animal crap. Many highly gifted hedonists fall a sleep within 2mins, as they had no idea how much they are running of empty, indulging in more and more extreme and desperate behaviors in ORDER KEEP THEIR ANIMAL GOING, whilst thinking its funny in that highly strung out Fake You ‘Fuck Up’ way. Should this hook you at all then know you should also combine it with a strong acidosis treatment, as you will also have major issues with lots of host critters, mainly Yeast, that are also using up your energy at a frightening rate, so get some Bicarb and drink a tablespoon in one glass every morning for a month, but be ready for the healing crisis if you have never done it before, as acid reflux out of long term tissue storage and large scale yeast die off is a bastard first time round. Just don’t be a pussy about it eh, what you are seeing is what is already wrong with you, so better to know, and MAKE SURE YOU HIT THE DRY SKIN BRUSHING BEFORE THE BATH, AS YOU TOTAL LACK OF EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL HYGIENE WILL MEAN YOU ARE COVERED IN DEAD SKIN, which makes you repulsive at a spiritual level, so maybe find yourself a pool, sauna, and steam room too…

Yes, much as no 4th way teacher really talks about Hormones, it is useful for you to understand why you are stuck at a childish animal level of consciousness WHY YOU HAVE REFUSED TO GROW UP, WHY YOU ARE DEGENERATE – DOPAMINE. See HORMONES ARE NOT DEVELOPMENT, BUT THEY ARE GATEWAYS INTO DEVELOPMENT FOR GIFTED, they allow you to FEEL YOUR DEVELOPMENT, as even that big black cat knows that if it lies in the sun long enough it will feel BETTER THAN, even its body can produce these hormones, WHICH IS WHY ALL THE CULTS OF THE ‘NOBILITY OF NATURE’, OF THE NOBLE SAVAGE exist, as that is what these chemicals do – THEY ‘MAKE YOU DIGNIFIED’, ‘HOLY’ EVEN. But that cat can’t develop itself, it is simply led around by that feeling, THERE IS NOTHING THERE TO DEVELOP, so HORMONES, LIKE ALL DRUGS, are not at end in themselves. Still they can control you very effectively, AS YOUR CHEAP THRILLS ARE MORE READILY AVAILABLE TO YOU THAN YOUR BETTER THAN, but only because you are STUPID. See, what you are doing everytime you engage in the DOPAMINE CYCLE is EATING A PIECE OF CAKE FOR A SUGAR RUSH, frankly it is not even really a ‘comforter’, you have made it seem like one via artificial levels of anticipation, and even then it DOES NOT REALLY WORK FOR MORE THAN A MOMENT OR 2, before you need more CAKE, WHICH YOU THEN REALIZE IS JUST MORE NOTHING – THE RESULT IS A DISAPPOINTMENT, YOU MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF, BUT YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE AS A CHILD SO YOU KEEP DOING IT, AND YOUR EMBARRASMENT GROWS.

Yes, right now YOU exist at a chemical level BENEATH THAT CAT, as that cat is not addicted to DOPAMINE LIKE YOU ARE, that cat has GROWN UP, and only used DOPAMINE TO LEARN HOW TO BE A CAT, WHEN SHE PLAYED AS A CUB, THAT IS THE POINT OF IT – TO BE CONTROLLED BY THE NEED FOR ‘ACHIEVEMENT’, TO ‘ANTICIPATE’ AS A FORM OF MOTIVATION. Its silly really, but in this day and age it has NEVER BEEN TRUER, all because you have never faced a simple fact – CHASING DOPAMINE AS AN ADULT MAKES YOU A TWAT. Stopping THE NEVER ENDING chase for DOPAMINE IS REALLY WHAT ALL THIS ADVICE ABOUT SAVING YOUR ENERGY FOR YOURSELF IS ABOUT, and for some when that FACT HITS HARD ENOUGH, they are able to simply stop the ‘anticipation’ THAT CREATES THE DOPAMINE, and so break that addiction easily, much as many struggle to SEE THIS IN THE MOMENT, and therefore go on ‘longing’ for THEIR shit even when they actually try TO stop doing it, WHICH IS SO FUCKING CHILDISH – JUST ANTICIPATE SOMETHING ELSE ‘BETTER THAN’!

Finally, in terms of your Hormones, it is useful to understand what happens, what becomes of the Dopamine addict, because it is becoming dominant public use case in the Western world – ‘THE SHRINKING INTO EMPTINESS’, OF TOTAL CONTROL BY EXTERNAL STIMULUS THAT LEADS TO A TOTAL LACK OF SELF AWARENESS, THAT LEADS TO EXTREMES OF BEHAVIOUR, THAT ENDS IN SELF DESTRUCTION. This is a form of actual MADNESS, the loss of your sense of self, where you need continual stimuli to know who you are, what you think, so you continually react, REACT, AND THEN OVERREACT SOME MORE TO NOTHING, you have to listen to music or the radio to be able to think, everything is about your HERD OPINION, and you become more and more aware that you don’t have one. In time you will become listless, paralyzed, lazy, dull, always bored, always worrying, always THINKING ABOUT TOTAL SHIT, SO YOUR LOW MOOD BECOMES DEPRESSION, BECOMES EMBARRASSMENT, BECOMES DESPERATION, and you are done, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER GROWN UP. See YOU HAVE ALLOWED FAKE YOU TO EAT YOU ALIVE, and when their is nothing left you won’t even remember what you have done, let alone your little fun, because you are the WALKING DEAD NOW…

None of this is normal, none of this is the WAY IT SHOULD BE – IT IS HAPPENING NOW SIMPLY BECAUSE FOLKS NEVER GROW UP. See people don’t KNOW GROWN UP EXISTS ANYMORE, THEY WANDER THROUGH LIFE WANTING TO BE A CHILD BECAUSE IT IS IN SOME COOL TO PLAY WITH ELECTRONIC DOLLIES AS AN ADULT, ITS COOL TO BE SCARED SHITLESS ALL THE TIME, ITS COOL TO HAVE YOUR NOT SO SECRET LITTLE LIFE TO COMFORT YOU, ITS COOL TO BE DEFINED BY YOUR CHAIN STORE CONSUMER CAPITALISM, BY YOUR BRANDS, BY ALL YOUR STUFF BEING BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLES STUFF. They don’t understand that all they are NOW is CANNON FODDER, yet they feel so ‘individual’ when they post that totally ill-informed, self-serving little herd opinion about some religious war on their socials. They don’t feel even remotely pathetic as they check back 10 times an hour to see if anyone has LIKED IT, to see if anyone has noticed them at all today, AND ALL OF THIS SHITSHOW IS ‘NORMAL’, it’s what they actually tell you to do, THE BASTARDS. But this is actually how ‘YOU’ become DEGENERATE ANIMAL TRASH, this is what DOPAMINE ADDICTION DOES TO YOU, so best stick to the coffee and the smokes, eh, OTHERWISE YOU WILL SIMPLY BECOME YOUR CHEAP THRILLS, and everyone else will KNOW IT, AND TREAT YOU ACCORDINGLY…

Anyway, we must START this post now, so hopefully all this NEW INFORMATION HAS ALREADY MADE YOU SMARTER, and particularly made you OPEN YOUR MIND TO ELITISM. See so many Gifted struggle so much with the concept and feel the need to go on and on and on with the values of their herd, of tying to be GOOD PUBLICALLY, however Fake they know, that everyone knows, it is. But don’t worry too much if you don’t just yet, see there is a time coming when you will REALIZE THE NEED FOR US AND THEM so clearly it will change your life, BECAUSE LEARNING TO BE PRESENT IN YOUR PRESENCE WILL MAKE THIS DIFFERENCE much clearer, and in some ways much worse. See you will be forced to recognize that all your relationships with FOLKS AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS ARE BASED ON MANAGING THEIR COMPENSATORY BEHAVIOURS FOR THE INFERIORITY YOU MAKE THEM FEEL. The only escape from this is to DEVELOP YOURSELF, LEARN THE ARISTOS CONCEPT OF ‘DISTANCE’, BE RUTHLESS AND FIND YOUR OWN KIND, so you can start to live, rather than just exist. Trust me, when these compensations get BAD, when harmless little twats become obsessed with you, IT WILL TEST EVERY NERVE YOU HAVE NOT TO START THROWING THEM UNDER THE BUS WHENEVER THE MOOD TAKES YOU, however MUCH you understand it is not their fault as animals, you USUALLY END UP MAKING AN EXAMPLE, OR 2 – IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT EITHER, AND SOONER OR LATER IT USUALLY COMES DOWN TO YOU OR THEM, so its them – try not to forget this, however ‘nice’ you want to be OUT of your CLASS…

Ahhh, you cry, WHY HAVE I NOT EXPLAINED ALL THIS TO YOU BEFORE? NOW YOU ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED! Mmmm, I reply – I HAVE DONE, you are just TO FUCKING STUPID TO CONNECT IT ALL TOGETHER, so you remain lost in yet another, ever so tedious Dopamine Mood, like a little baby, screaming for your mummies tit, and its momentary emotional comfort… So do try and GET SMARTER, EH, before the mental ‘shoe box’ you live in gets even bloody smaller, your addiction to FEAR/DESIRE/BOREDOM GETS MUCH WORSE as age, acidosis takes your ability to make and feel your HORMONES, and all your little illusions of secrecy and emotional safety come crashing down, AS TRUST ME, BOTH OF THOSE ANIMAL COMFORTERS ARE LONG GONE NOW…

Ahhhhhhhh, you don’t believe that, you think everything is basically ok – YOU ARE KEEPING IT TOGETHER, YOU’RE SURVIVING, SO EVERYTHING IS ‘OK’..? So remind yourself now, YOUR OK IS ‘DOGSHIT’, IS NOTHING, IS SO FAR BENEATH WHAT YOU CAN DO IT IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO WATCH… So for YOU, from all the ‘smarts’ in this preface, know the one you need to try the most is REPUTATION MANAGEMENT – MANY GIFTED WOMEN PARTICULARLY HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW UTTERLY APPALLING THEIR REPUTATION IS, CAUSE THEY BLANK IT OUT OF CRUSHING EMBARRASSMENT. See, your whole life is dominated by the public knowledge of your SECRET BASIC, that your illusion of KEEPING UP APPEARANCES is utterly transparent – NO ONE WHO KNOWS YOU THINKS YOU ARE GOOD, NICE, HONEST, DECENT, KIND OR EVEN THE WORST OF ALL, THAT YOU ARE BADASS PLAYER, they all know YOU ARE A CRAVEN, STUPID, LAZY, COWARDLY TWAT, a stupid little PLEASER, so they laugh at you whilst treating you like a wind-up toy…

You might want to change that – MUCH AS LEARNING TO CHANGE YOUR REPUTATION DOES NOT MATTER TO US, AS WE SEE WHAT YOU ARE, the animals don’t, they just see what you do, SO JUST USE YOU ACCORDINGLY. Later YOU CAN BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE JUST BY CHANGING YOUR REPUTATION SO OFTEN THAT NO ONE HAS THE SMALLEST FUCKING CLUE WHO YOU ARE, and then you can do what you like AS YOU WILL BE SERIOUSLY SCARY, BUT FOR NOW IT IS VERY USEFUL TO ‘PUT MANNERS’ ON FOLKS WHO YOU NOW REALIZE THINK YOU ARE THE DUMBEST BITCH IN THE BUILDING, as it will drag you out of your animal farm faster than anything else I know…

No, you don’t need to be a psycho killer, much as that can be fun for a while, JUST TO AIM TO stop being A DELUSIONAL TOOL, stop BEING FAKE YOU, a SELF DESTRUCTIVE MESS, that everyone has already written off, SO TREATS LIKE SHIT – AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL REPUTATION IS THE ONLY POWER THAT REALLY WORKS, and later is the best way to hide your REAL self as you develop… Go on, actually BE BRAVE FOR ONCE, actually develop some BOTTLE AND CHANGE, once you face your embarrassment you will see just HOW MUCH YOU HAVE ‘LET THE SIDE DOWN’, then CHANGE WILL BECOME ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, because the BASIC BITCH YOU ONCE WHERE WILL BE AS DISPICABLE TO YOU AS IT ALREADY IS TO EVERYONE ELSE. One day you may even realize that you are the big black cat in the feature image of this post, but you have been letting ugly children run up to you and pull your ears, push you around, and scare you VIA HUMILIATION, WHEN YOU COULD OF JUST CUT THEIR FACE OFF WITH ONE SWIPE OF ONE PAW, OR A FEW HARSH WORDS IN YOUR CASE – IT IS EASY TO STAND YOUR GROUND WHEN YOU, EVEN ‘THEY’, KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM, you have simply forgotten this, SO NOW YOU HAVE TO PROVE IT AGAIN…

AND YES, OF COURSE THIS IS ANOTHER ‘TEST’ – SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU LEFT IT EH? HOW BAD IS IT GOING TO BE TO CHANGE YOUR REPUTATION, HOW MUCH BOTTLE ARE YOU GONNA NEED TO DEVELOP TO DO IT? OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS AND SAY ITS TOO LATE NOW, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ARE A TOTAL SKANK, HELL YOU HAVE MADE A SUCCESS OF BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT, YOU HAVE BUILT YOUR WHOLE WORTHLESS FAKE CHARACTER AROUND IT, MADE IT OK TO BE NOTHING? Then you are an even bigger fool than we think you are…

Trust me, some of the most famous, powerful and richest women on this planet have done it, and DONE IT FROM A FAR LOWER LEVEL THAN YOU ARE STARTING AT, so be your own Oprah eh.., start to kick some ass and learn how to be totally ruthless. SEE, YOU HAVE ‘NOTHING’ TO LOSE, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE NOTHING, so even trying yet failing in this or that moment is ‘BETTER THAN’ THE FAKE TWAT YOU ARE NOW, GET IT..? On the 4th Way, we call this GROWING THE FUCK UP, but you don’t need to take my father’s advice, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SO BLOODY SCARY THAT TOTAL STRANGERS ARE NERVOUS TO EVEN STAND IN A CROWDED ROOM WITH YOU, you just need to learn that the POWER OF YOUR REPUTATION COMES FROM THE POWER OF YOUR PRESENCE, which you already have, SO CHANGING WHAT ‘THAT MESSAGE’ CONTAINS IS WAY EASIER THAN YOU THINK.

SO, GIVEN THE CHOICE WOULD YOU RATHER ADVERTIZE YOU ‘CLASS’ OR YOUR ‘BASIC’ BITCH, YOUR SADASS, WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME, what you are DOING RIGHT NOW, and why your life is SHIT? Surely the simple POWER OF CLASS appeals to even YOUR TRIVIAL LITTLE BITCH OF A FAKE YOU, does it not..? Mmmm, well that realization of the POWER OF YOUR PRESENCE will come, in time, when you realize that other people need you a lot more than you need them, so there is no need to be nice or nasty, to react at all, as the vast majority of your life is just one, long, ugly little attention seeking mess, WHERE YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER, and your ONE JOB IN THIS LIFE IS TO KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF, NOT GIVE IT AWAY ALL THE DAMN TIME BECAUSE YOU ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF HARMLESS DORKS, OF WORK, OF HERD OPINION, OF LACK. You must stop chasing DEATH by seeing the trade offs you are making in this life DON’T FUCKING WORK…

Yes, to HAVE CLASS, TO LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR PRESENCE, you need to LEARN HOW TO IGNORE THINGS, so they simply shirvel up and die, then you will start to understand what actual POWER IS, above your basic animal understanding of CONTROL, WHEN YOU SEE REAL POWER BECOMES ABOUT ‘BLESSING’ and BEING ‘BLESSED’, when YOU SEE all real power actually comes from a dimension of reality that you cannot currently see, BUT IS THE ACTUAL CAUSE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE DIMENSIONS YOU CAN SEE, when you connect to yourself and start to LIVE. Then you will realize that to try and control anything via FORCE OR COMPLIANCE means it is YOU that are being controlled, you were just to dumb to see it – YOU ARE TOO SLOW, SO GET SMARTER, it really is THE KEY TO EVERYTHING.

So if you HAVE GOT SMARTER, VIA UNDERSTANDING WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN SO FAR, you SHOULD NOW GET THIS:

ALL MORALITY IS NOT ABOUT BEING GOOD FOR ITS OWN SAKE, IT IS ABOUT CONSERVING YOUR SPIRITED SELF ENOUGH TO USE THAT SPIRIT TO INCREASE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, INSTEAD OF WASTE IT ON ANIMAL COMFORTS, THIS IS WHAT YOU CHANGE ‘FROM’ AND ‘TO’ – THIS IS WHAT GOOD AND BAD MEAN, AS YOUR DEVELOPMENT IS ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS, AS IT DEFINES EVERYTHING ELSE. 

ALL USE OF THE WORD ‘CHANGE’ BY LEFT-HAND PATH TEACHERS IS A FRONT FOR SOMETHING ELSE – IT IS A NECESSARY DECEIT TO GET YOU FROM AN ANIMAL TO AN ARISTOCRAT, A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS, A WRAPPER AROUND THE TRUTH – NO ONE CAN EVER ACCEPT THE TRUTH AT THE START, YOU MUST EXPEREINCE THE TRUTH AS REAL, AND YOUR FAKE OPINION AS UNREAL.

ALL CHANGE IN ITSELF IS SIMPLY THE SWITCH IN ATTITUDES BETWEEN WANTING TO BE MORE COMFORTABLE AS AN ANIMAL, TO WANTING TO ‘HAVE A GO AT LIFE’, INSTEAD, THEN CHANGE IS EASY – CHANGE BECOMES CONSTANT AS LEARNING NEVER ENDS, BUT YOU MUST ‘WANT IT’, IT MUST COMFORT YOU IN SOME WAY AS A FEELING, THAT IS BETTER THAN THE WAY YOU USED TO FEEL AS AN ANIMAL.

SO YOU MUST GET THAT COMFORT DOES NOT WORK – FOR SPIRITUAL REASONS TOO HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND YET, ALL RUNNING AWAY FROM PAIN MAKES ‘MORE PAIN’, MORE FAILURE INEVITABLE – AT AN ANIMAL LEVEL ALL PAIN IS INSTINCTIVE, WHICH BECOMES THE FALSE INSTINCTS OF FAKE YOU, A LIE, AS IT IS ALL TEMPORARY, AND PASSESS WITH YOUR NEXT MOOD.

IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU ACCEPT THE LIFE OF A GAMBLER, THAT ANIMAL PAIN IS ‘THE PRICE OF WINNING’, THAT THOSE PAINFUL THINGS WILL NO LONGER CAUSE YOU PAIN, INDEED YOUR CURRENT PAIN IS NOT PAINFUL, IT IS YOUR COMFORT THAT IS PAINFUL BECAUSE IT IS THE SLOW DEATH OF A SLAVE…

SHOULD YOU BE A BIG ENOUGH HEDONIST YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW THIS, BUT WHERE EVER YOU ARE STARTING FROM, TO DO THE REST OF THIS YOU MUST ‘GET UP’ AND START TO GO LOOKING FOR THE SHIT, YOU MUST HAVE THE BOTTLE FOR IT, BECAUSE YOU NOW SEE ALL ELSE IS NOTHINGNESS.

SO TO HAVE A PAINLESS LIFE YOU MUST FIRST ACCEPT THAT REAL LIFE, THE LIFE OF AN INDIVIDUAL IS PAINFUL TO FAKE YOU, AND IT IS TO BE CONSTANTLY STUCK IN THE MOMENTARY EXISTENCE OF A SLAVE, A VICTIM OF YOUR OWN FAKE YOU THAT IS MADNESS, BECAUSE IT IS AN ILLUSION.

YES, YOU MUST SWAP YOUR GOOD AND BAD AROUND IN THIS SENSE, YOU MUST REVALUE YOUR DEFENSIVE FALSE INSTINCTS AS WRONG, SEE IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU SURPASS THAT PAIN, THE EGOIC PAIN OF FAKE YOU, THAT YOU REALLY LIVE, AT ALL, THAT YOU WAKE UP FROM COMFORT…

YES, RIGHT NOW, SIMPLY JUMPING FROM ONE MOMENT TO THE NEXT IN SOME STUPID LITTLE DEFENSIVE MOOD, YOU ARE ACTUALLY MAD… SCARY, EH – TO KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW YOUR BAT SHIT CRAZY, SO LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT… 

THE FAKE COMFORT OF FAKE YOU IS YOUR ENEMY, AS THE FEELING OF POWER, OF DOMINION YOU CRAVE LIES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A WALL THAT IS YOUR ANTICIPATION OF THIS EGOIC, PAINLESS ‘PAIN’ YOU FEAR SO MUCH, YET ITS SOURCE, ‘FAKE YOU’ DOES NOT EXIST, SO YOUR PAIN DOES NOT EXIST EITHER, JUST LIKE YOUR FAKE FUN IS NOT ACTUALLY ENJOYABLE…

YOU MUST CHANGE, THEN YOU WILL EXPERIENCE ‘THE COMFORTS OF ELITISM’, THE FEELING OF ‘POWER OVER YOURSELF’, OF DOMINION, WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS TO BE BADASS IN THIS WORLD = THE BEST DRUG IN THE WORLD.

AND YOU WILL NEVER WANT THE COMFORTS OF A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL AGAIN, BECAUSE YOU WILL FEEL THE DEATH IN THEM, LIKE THE DULL, PENETRATING ACHE OF A SPIKE STABBING INTO YOUR SPIRIT, BUT YOU WILL ALSO FEEL WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU, WHAT BUILDS YOU, WHICH MAY NOT BE THAT DIFFERENT IN NATURE FROM WHAT YOU CURRENTLY WANT, JUST WITH VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE OR SPECIFIC WAY.

THE SECRET TO THIS, THE SECRET TO DIGNITY ITSELF IS WHAT YOU CURRENTLY FEEL AS EROTICISM, HENCE YOU WASTE IT ON ANIMAL SEX, VIOLENCE, ANGER AND DAYDREAMING, FOR NO BENEFIT TO YOURSELF WHATSOEVER – THAT HAS TO GO NOW, SO HOPEFULLY YOU WILL HAVE DONE IT ENOUGH ALREADY AND HENCE ARE ALREADY LOOKING FOR A REPLACEMENT ‘BETTER THAN’ FEELING, WHICH IS WHY WE WAIT FOR YOU TO BE READY.

IN THE GIFTED THE FEELING OF EROTIQUE IS CAUSED BY THINGS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, BUILDS TO AN UNBEARABLE PRESSURE SO YOU TEACH YOURSELF TO VENT IT ON WHATEVER IS PASSING BY, WHICH IS HOW YOU TEACH YOURSELF YOUR FALSE INSTINCTS, COPYING ANIMALS ONES, HOW YOU BECOME A HEDONIST, WHEN IN REALITY YOU ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO RAISE YOUR LEVEL IN AN UNSCHOOLED, TEMPORARY WAY.

THAT FEELING OF AROUSAL IS SPIRITUAL IN NATURE, AND WHEN USED CORRECTLY AS AN ‘ANCHOR’ YOU MAINTAIN, IT ALLOWS A HIGHLY SELF-CONSCIOUS AND SENSTIVE STATE TO DEVELOP THAT WILL ALWAYS PULL YOUR ATTENTION BACK TO INTO YOURSELF, WHICH BECOMES WHAT YOU CALL DIGNITY – TO BE SELF CONTAINED – IT MUST BECOME STABLE AS A FEELING SO IT IS A PERMANENT STATE, SO YOU MUST ‘CHANGE’.

YES – ALL DIGNITY IS CONTROLLED SEXUALITY, THAT BUILDS AND BUILDS, IF YOU DON’T WASTE IT, AND IT IS THE ROLE OF ANY TEACHER IN YOUR LIFE WHO IS ‘RIGHT FOR YOU’ TO BUILD THAT FEELING AND TEACH YOU HOW TO USE IT TO BE YOU, RATHER THAN FAKE YOU, AND WHEN YOU SPEND ANYTIME AROUND THE RIGHT TEACHER YOU WILL KNOW THIS VERY QUICKLY, BUT YOU MUST STILL CHOOSE TO ‘CHANGE’.

ULTIMATELY, ITS YOUR CHOICE – THE MAGICAL LIFE OF THE GIFTED HEDONIST, OR THE TEDIOUS LITTLE DEATH OF AN ANIMAL HEDONIST, OF THE HERD.

IF YOU DON’T CHOOSE THEN YOU WILL SIMPLY DRIFT UP AND DOWN THE SAME MOUNTAIN OF FEELING OVER AND OVER AGAIN, GETTING SLOWLY OLDER, UGLY, STRANGER AND DUMBER, UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO HELP, AND WE JUST PAT YOU ON THE HEAD AND TELL YOU LIES, AS THE TRUTH WILL BE CRUEL. So find your teacher via the way they make you feel, and have a go eh, surely you are not so stupid as to still think you are clever? Confess yourself, at least to yourself, as you now know what your life is about – YOU THE INDIVIDUAL, THE CULT OF YOU.

SERIOUSLY – HAVE YOU NOT HUMILIATED YOURSELF ENOUGH YET, OR DO YOU STILL WANT TO GO ON WITH IT? REALLY – IF YOU SEE WHAT I SEE THEN YOU WOULD STOP NOW, as its not even funny anymore – ALL FEELING OF SECRET CLEVERNESS IS YOUR FAKE YOU CONTROLLING YOU WITH ILLUSION, but you are NOT BEING CLEVER, YOU ARE TRANSPARENT AND ARE SIMPLY SLASHING YOURSELF WITH A RAZOR IN ORDER TO DISTRACT YOURSELF FROM THE TRUTH…

Ok? Get SMARTER, FASTER, then you will see what FAKE YOU IS DOING BEFORE IT DOES IT, AND SO BE ABLE TO STOP IT, then you will be able to FEEL BETTER THAN all the fucking time, instead of fake little bursts of secret, hedonistic crap. You have no reason to be embarrassed IF YOU STOP AND CHANGE, all of this shit you have put yourself through is simply the price of entry to the GIFTED LIFE, none of it is your fault, you simply knew no better, AS YOU HAVE BEEN FORCED TO USE SECRET CLEVERNESS TO COMFORT YOURSELF, LIKE A CHILD. Its not even BAD, let alone BADASS, its NOTHING, JUST LIKE YOU ARE, but there is no need to be that anymore, because your REAL YOU HAS FOUND A WAY TO GET THIS INFORMATION TO YOU, so now you know you can TRUST US, AS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS TO HELP YOU BE YOU, so you can help your own kind later.

THE ENERGY WORK IN THIS POST IS NOT ENOUGH – YOU MUST ALSO MAKE THE CHOICE TO BE ‘BETTER THAN’, TO BE DIGNIFIED AT THE START.

YOU MUST GET BEYOND THE NEED TO BE CLEVER, TO STOP PROJECTING YOUR OWN LIES AND FAKERY ONTO OTHERS, ONTO ME.

BE CLEAR – THE CHOICE IS NOT ONLY TO UNDERSTAND YOU KNOW NOTHING, YOU MUST ‘LIVE’ IT, BY KNOWING YOU ARE TOTALLY FAKE.

SEE YOU CANNOT GO ON USING SECRET CLEVERNESS TO COMFORT YOURSELF, YOU MUST ‘CONFESS YOURSELF’ TO CHANGE, TO GROW UP.

SO THE CHOICE YOU MAKE IS THIS – REPLACE EVERY SINGLE ‘IMPULSE OF CLEVERNESS’ WITH THE BETTER THAN OF ‘DIGNITY’, SO USE THESE UNACTED IMPULSES TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE ‘BETTER THAN’ THAT TWAT YOU, NOW…

THEN YOU WILL START TO ‘EAT FAKE YOU’ BY STOPPING ITS EMBARRASSING, CHILDISH PATTERN REACTIONS FROM ACTING OUT, AND YOU WILL ACTUALLY BECOME BETTER THAN, FOR REAL, BY SIDING WITH REAL YOU, WITH POWER INSTEAD OF WEAKNESS.

BUT ITS YOUR CHOICE – SO WHICH IS IT BITCH, SADASS OR BADASS?

Yes, it’s fine to ACT THE PART OF THE ARISTOS AT THE START – YOU MUST INCREASE YOUR LEVEL OF SELF CONSCIOUSNESS ‘TO ACT’ AT ALL – because you have to act the part until your defensive patterns of FAKE YOU fall ‘out of use’, but one day you will wake up and discover that you actually DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT THE OTHER CHILDREN THINK OF YOU, and you are free to react or not in whatever way suits you in that moment. Then you will understand why folks like us INDULGE YOU to the extent we do, WHY WE ARE POLITE ABOUT IT, as underneath you will discover it is AN ILLUSTRATION OF YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS, YOUR BETTER THAN, BEING A LOT HIGHER THAN THEIRS, and frankly BEING POLITE WILL EVOKE A FEELING THAT BECOMES MORE AND MORE ADDICTIVE, as it contains no FEAR whatsoever – YOU WILL LATCH ON TO THE SUPERIORITY OF IT.

Be careful at this point however, as the more basic animals around you will sense this, sense you are no longer scared of them in any way, and may need the odd slap as they get desperate, as their whole ‘powerful’ sense of self comes from their fake sense of clever superiority to you, and the sudden loss of that illusion can ‘crush them’, even destroy the physical as well as mental health – in a very real sense you have been supporting them with your GIFT, UP UNTIL NOW. But frankly you are free to be as nice or nasty as you like, they are animals, and the sooner you get the US and Them thing at a felt level of emotional reality, the BETTER – FOLLOWING THE STANDARDS OF THE ARISTOS WILL AUTOMATICALLY RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS…

SO GET SMARTER, before you bore us all to death – look in the mirror now and tell yourself your CLEVERNESS IS THE ILLUSION OF A CHILD, so is your FAKE YOU HUMILIATING YOU, EVERYDAY, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. For the most highly GIFTED, you may find you have wanted to do this all your life, as you secretly crave the life of Elizabeth Bennet, and are quick-witted enough to know how she felt delivering the ‘next level’ line – ‘Mr Darcey is ALL POLITENESS’, to his face, with a smile and pronounced sarcastic flourish. See she understood what was actually happening, and hence JUST HOW SUPERIOR TO HER HE FELT, much as she only understood it was really a test of her level, and hence her COMPATABILITY, much later – HE BATED HER TO SEE WHAT SHE WAS, just as I am doing to you, right now…

So please forgive the obviousness of this stuff for GIFTED you, and learn to start saying THANK YOU OUT OF STRENGTH, instead of Sorry, out of weakness, out of the cowardice of an ‘easy life’, out of ‘THE NOTHING YOU HAVE BECOME’ (sorry Evanescence…). Yes, you must realize that the Aristos classic ‘Never Apologize, Never Repeat and Never Explain’ is not macho, it’s about ‘FISHING FOR YOUR LEVEL’, so is about your POWER over your WEAKNESS, THE SAME AS EVERYTHING ELSE IS IN THIS WORLD. But in all truth, there is no harm in letting this shocking realization HIT – the ONLY reason folks like us let shit go and do nothing is OUT OF PITY for you, FOR YOUR PATHETIC LEVEL OF EXISTENCE, in the hope that one day you will find enough SELF RESPECT TO SEE THAT INSULT AND GROW THE FUCK UP, you silly little creature – RIGHT NOW YOU ARE NOT WORTH 5SECONDS OF OUR ATTENTION, and you know it…

So we finish this PREFACE, this addition to the classic way, this recap on how to grow the fuck up, with an ‘awful truth’, TO MAKE THIS EXTREMELY CLEAR TO YOU:

Awful Truth: Everyone, no matter how Gifted, needs their REAL YOU TO HELP THEM, TO SHOW THEM WHAT TO DO AT SOME STAGE OF THIS TRIP – I DID, YOU WILL TOO. But, for many of you reading in this modern day and age, YOU WILL NEED REAL YOU TO HELP YOU GET OUT OF THE STARTING BLOCKS AT ALL, no matter what you now know you know, no matter who helps you BECAUSE YOUR BASIC BITCH IS SO STRONG, SO NORMAL, SO COOL THAT IT WILL CONTINUE TO ENGAGE IN SELF SABOTAGE AT LEVELS THAT YOU SIMPLY CANNOT DEAL WITH, EVERY TIME YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT ‘CHANGING’ – YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP TO BE A PUSSY, IN A WORLD FULL OF PUSSIES, SO WHY TRY WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE TO, JUST COMFORT YOURSELF WITH YOUR BASIC INSTEAD, BE ‘CLEVER’.

So know this once and for all:     

YOU CAN NOT GET TIME BACK, EVEN WE CAN NOT GET TIME BACK, SO WE ARE ALL LESS THAN WE COULD OF BEEN, TIME WASTED, PISSED AWAY ON THINGS OR EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN. BUT YOU CAN NEVER FORGET THE REAL, AS IT BECOMES PART OF YOU, AS EITHER A DREAM OR A NIGHTMARE – THINK ABOUT IT, RELATE IT TO WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU ARE, WHAT YOU DO THAT IS STRANGE, RIGHT NOW…

NOBODY YOU KNOW GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU OTHER THAN AS A MEANS TO THEIR OWN ANIMAL ENDS, YOU ARE A ‘TOOL’, AT BEST, WHICH MEANS YOU ARE A SERVANT, A SLAVE, ONLY YOUR KIND VALUE YOU FOR YOURSELF, WHATEVER YOU DO – THINK ABOUT IT, UNDERSTAND YOUR LIFE HAS NO REALITY IN IT, AND CAN BE CRUSHED AT ANY MOMENT, YOU ARE DEPENDANT, REPLACEABLE.

ALL LEFT HAND PATH TYPES HAVE TO WALK THROUGH A LITTLE BIT OF HELL IN THEIR LIVES, SO ITS NO SURPRISE TO KNOW THAT YOU NEED TO WALK BY LIKE YOU OWN THE FUCKING JOINT – NO CHALLENGE, NO STRENGTH, NO LIFE, THAT IS THE POINT, SO STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM IT – REAL YOU WILL HELP YOU WHEN YOU DON’T NOW HOW TO HELP YOURSELF, CAUSE YOU ARE A PUSSY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE STARTED THIS YEARS AGO, WHEN YOU FIRST FELT ‘CONNECTION’, BUT YOU WERE JUST SO CLEVER, SEE NOW YOU KNOW THIS STUFF, AND THAT MEANS IT WILL START TO HURT YOU UNTIL YOU PAY IT SOME MIND, BECAUSE YOU WILL FINALLY FEEL THAT SAME HURT ‘AFTERWARDS’ THAT HAS, IN FACT, ALWAYS BEEN THERE – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. MANY OF YOU WILL COME TO SEE WHAT I HAVE TAUGHT YOU TODAY AS A CURSE ON YOUR LIFE, AND YOU ARE RIGHT, ITS A CURSE ON FAKE YOU…

MORE GOD, LESS DOG – GET SMARTER, FAST.

Did I forget to mention that we are not that nice on the Left Hand path? Sorry about that, buts let’s be honest eh, at your level of CLEVER TWAT, you just think nice is stupid, don’t you, so KIND would just be wasted on a Basic Bitch like you, you need to see the consequences of your actions, don’t you, YOU NEED TO GET SCARED. So take a little moment now and think back over your day at the stupid shit you did to give you a moment OF YOUR ‘cool’ whilst continuing to fuck your life up for no fucking benefit whatsoever… Then see if you still think it was cool, when the moment has gone, so next time you can try and remember that answer AS you do it ‘the next time’, THEN YOU WILL SEE HOW BIGGER BASIC BITCH YOU ACTUALLY ARE, BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT STOP YOURSELF… SEE you will understand what REAL COOL ‘is not’, BECAUSE IT IS NOT BEING A GUTLESS PUSSY, and also why you make our skin crawl. Honestly, if you knew for just one second that YOU could escape the absurdism of this NORMAL LIFE, would you want to go on chasing THE LIFE OF A COW IN A FIELD, what is ‘NOT YOU’..?

So start HERE – start to figure out what is NOT YOU, but that you willingly DO because YOU TELL YOURSELF, TRAIN YOURSELF FOR DECADES TO LIKE AND NOW ACCEPT YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO DO ANYTHING ELSE. I don’t mean the small crap, I mean THE BIG CRAP, WHERE YOU NO LONGER HAVE A CHOICE, BECAUSE YOU NO LONGER WANT ONE. See, that, rather obviously, IS FAKE YOU KILLING YOU SOFTLY, and you love her for it, SO THAT IS WHAT ‘YOUR COOL’ IS – SHE FORGIVES YOUR MEDIOCRITY, as payment for YOUR SLAVERY. THIS IS WHAT COMFORT IS, THIS IS WHY YOU NEED COMFORT, THIS IS WHY YOU ARE ‘FAKE YOU’ – THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE BECOME NOTHINGNESS, IN A WORLD FULL OF NOTHING. MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL, THIS IS WHY IT IS SO BLOODY EASY TO BE NOTHING, TO WANT NOTHING BUT SLEEP AND OBLIVION AND NUMBNESS, INSTEAD ADVENTURE, FEAR AND THE HOT ASHES OF THE BATTLEFIELD. I know you were not brought up to be a criminal, but you were BORN TO BE AN OUTLAW, OF THEIR b/s ‘LAW’…

Trust me, YOU are not what COOL ‘IS’, you are a ‘chain store whore’, as that is WHAT A PUSSY IS – SO CAN YOU TAKE SOME SHIT IN ORDER TO FIND OUT WHICH IT should be, OR ARE YOU JUST ANOTHER TALKER..? Yep, that is why even folks as sweet and decent as me WANT YOU TO HATE US AT THE START, cause your FAKE YOU NEEDS TO HATE THIS NOW, SO ‘YOU’ GET IT LATER, you fool – YOU ONLY WANT TO DO THIS STUFF WHEN ‘YOU’ ARE READY FOR IT, before that you just want more comfort, like a TWAT.

START TO LOOK AT WHAT YOU HATE ABOUT YOUR EVERYDAY SELF, YOUR LIFE, YOUR SITUATION, AND KNOW THAT IT IS ‘NOT YOU’….

QUESTION – SO WHY DO YOU DO IT THEN? ANSWER – BECAUSE YOU ARE A GUTLESS CHILD.

IT IS YOUR EVERYDAY SHITE THAT IS FAKE YOU, YOUR NORMAL, YOUR ‘BANAL’ – SO KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU ARE ABOUT AS INTERESTING AS ‘PAINT DRYING’. So how do you see this, given YOU ARE ALMOST COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF ‘FAKE YOU’, YOU ONLY RATIONALIZE ITS BEHAVIOUR IN RETROSPECT? Your REPUTATION OF COURSE, how folks treat you, so start to fix this, DO THE THINGS I HAVE TAUGHT YOU TO CHANGE THIS. No need for extremes, no need to expect everyone you know to metaphorically ‘take the knee’ if they even wish to speak to you, like I once did, BUT BE ASSURED MANY OF YOU I KNOW CAN DO A DAMN SIGHT BETTER THAN ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TREATED AS A DESPERATE STREET SKANK by folks who, in reality, are little better than common or garden ‘FLYS ON SHIT’, BECAUSE ITS EASY. The price of everything worth having ‘IS’ TO ‘CHALLENGE’ FAKE YOU – THAT IS HOW YOU PAY FOR IT, OTHERWISE YOUR LIFE IS JUST MORE AND MORE OF THE EVERY DECREASING UP AND DOWN CYCLE, until one day you simply disappear from your own life…

STOP WANTING LIFE TO BE EASY – THERE IS NO LIFE, NO POWER, NO COOL, NO FUTURE IN EASY.

EASY IS THE POINTLESS, MEDICORCE DEATH OF A POINTLESS, GUTLESS CHILD, LIKE YOU USED TO BE, BUT FAR WORSE, ALWAYS CHOOSING EASY MAKES EVERY LITTLE THING HARDER, UNTIL ONE DAY THERE IS SO LITTLE LEFT THOSE FALSE PATTERNS OF FAKE YOU ARE YOUR ONLY CHOICE.

BUT ALWAYS CHOOSING A CHALLENGE MAKES EVERYTHING EASY, WITHOUT CHALLENGE TO BUILD AGAINST EVERYTHING IS A FORM OF DECLINE – SO CHALLENGE THE REPUTATION OF FAKE YOU, LIVE A LITTLE BEFORE YOU DIE –  YOUR CURRENT REPUTATION WILL BE A LAZY, TRASHY, MENTALLY UNSTABLE TWAT, CHANGE IT!  

Lastly a final word to the most RELUCTANT ‘ARISTOS’, (WHILST OFTEN THE MOST HIGHLY GIFTED), AMONGST YOU – YOUR ‘BASIC’ IS YOUR ONLY EXPERIENCE OF YOUR GIFT, YOU LOVE IT, LIVE FOR IT, BELIEVE IT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER, as it is by far the best thing about you, to the extent that you think it is ALL YOU ARE NOW, every other aspect of your NATURE IS ‘MUCH LESS’. See, YOU are my own kind, I both understand you and know what is going to happen to you, BECAUSE IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED TO SO MANY. So here it is…

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU AND YOU KNOW IT, BECAUSE YOU SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE COMPENSATING FOR IT – YOU WHOLE LIFE IS AN EXERCISE IN ‘GETTING AWAY WITH IT’, AND TRYING TO AVOID GETTING CAUGHT.

BUT YOU CANNOT CHANGE, YOU DON’T WANT TO CHANGE, YOU DON’T NEED TO CHANGE, SO YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT CHANGE ‘IS’ – YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CHANGING ‘FROM’ AND ‘TO’ SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE COMFORTUABLE BEING ‘BASIC’.

YOU ARE ONE LONG REACTION TO YOUR WORLD, BUT YOU ARE YOUR WHOLE WORLD, SO UNLESS YOU CHANGE YOURSELF YOUR REACTION TO THE WORLD WILL NOT CHANGE, BECAUSE IT CAN’T – FOR THE GIFTED THE PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD IS A REPRESENTATION OF THE QUALITY OF THEIR SOUL. 

SO YOU MUST FLIP THE COIN OVER, FIND A WAY TO REPLACE THE EVERYDAY EVIL OF YOUR BASIC WITH THE EVERYDAY MAGIC OF YOUR GIFT, BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO STAND AGAINST YOUR REACTIONS WITHOUT A FRESH FEAR/DESIRE COMBO.

KNOW YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR WORLD, THE WORLD YOU CHOSE TO LIVE IN, AS ITS YOUR ONLY HOPE – YOU MUST GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE TO REACT DIFFERENTLY, TO A DIFFERENT WORLD.

AND THE ONLY WAY TO CHANGE YOUR WORLD IS TO BE ‘SHOCKED OUT OF IT’ – YOU MUST BE HARD SHOCKED OUT OF ‘FAKE YOU’, NOT JUST SHAMED, BUT HIT HARD.

This is what 4th Wayers call the ‘Cosmic Joke’ – you are defined and trapped by your choices, because you can’t see the SELF-DESTRUCTIVE reasons for them AT THE TIME, can’t see the outcomes you bake into your life in the moment of making those choices AS REACTIONS TO THE WORLD YOU HAVE CREATED, that you can never escape ‘afterwards’ – they must play out and you must wait for the start of the next cycle of life TO CHANGE THEM. The only way out of this trap is to change your world FIRST, so your reactions have to change too – its a ballsy move, and not for everyone, but its one several of THE WORST of you will need to make, as you are already too weak FOR ANYTHING, WHICH YOU HIDE BEHIND YOUR CLEVERNESS, LIKE A PUSSY. See, the cleverer you need to BE the weaker poor little old wasted you has become, they are directly related, SO MAYBE BINGE WATCH YOUR ‘SHOWS’ NOW, like a good little consumer –

But just in case – how to do this? EASY – YOU MUST HARD SHOCK YOURSELF OUT OF IT, OUT OF THE MOOD-BASED REALITY YOU ARE STUCK IN, ON PURPOSE. Sadly, ONLY REAL YOU KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT FOR YOU, FOR YOUR GIFT – ITS EXCEPTIONALLY DANGEROUS TO WORK OUT FOR YOUR FAKE SELF, YOU MUST BE ‘TOLD’, and even then you will need the BOTTLE FOR IT, TO DO IT. Sadly you will need to spend a long time working on that BOTTLE, THAT PREVIOUS TO THIS POST YOU DID NOT EVEN KNOW EXISTED, hence the reason for this little speech, but ho hum, NEVER MIND, SURE YOU ARE STILL STILL THE SMARTEST FLY ON YOUR OWN PILE A SHIT, EH, however cold that comfort becomes IN THE FUTURE. Winner, winner, chicken dinner, but don’t worry – nobody is laughing at little old obsessional you, promise – SHOCKS ARE FOR SERIOUS PEOPLE, not FREAK SHOWS.

SO PREPARE YOURSELF –

1. PUT YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, GO TO PLACES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL AS SELF CONSCIOUS AS POSSIBLE OUT OF FEAR.
2. REJECT OTHER PEOPLES REALITY ON PRINCIPLE, TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT, FOR THEM, FOR THE HERD, STOP ‘CONSIDERING’ FAKE SHIT.
3. BUT MOST OF ALL YOU MUST STOP ZONING OUT AT ALL COSTS, STOP THE ‘FLIGHTS OF FANCY’, OF BEING ‘AWAY WITH THE FAIRIES’. 

Yes, of course, its MUCH more the same, BUT IT IS LIKELY THAT THE WORST OF YOU WILL HAVE NO BOTTLE, NO PRESENCE AT ALL, SO YOU WILL BE STUCK AT ‘DUMB AS FUCK’. So if you find yourself forever humming some version of the ‘ELFIN KNIGHT’ (eg Scarborough Fair, sorry Paul…), you must double down and work as hard as you can at extracting your Bottle from your Basic, as it will be likely your Basic is already deeply Fetishichised, Unreal and DISGUSTING. This need to chase the UNREAL as a form of comfort is what it means to be away with the Fairies ALL THE TIME, and as various parts of Irish Society know, should you have Fairy Forts on your land yet still choose to dispute the family inheritance then that shit is going to END BADLY – THE WORST OF YOU ARE FAR, FAR CLOSER TO SUDDEN DEATH THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.

If possible try and find someone like me – someone who is prepared to do a ‘cold intervention’, when the time comes to ‘burst your bubble’, when you want to run but can’t, so need someone serious to intervene. Yes, normal gifted don’t need to be gangsta to develop themselves, but for the worst of you it MAY ONLY BE POSSIBLE FOR YOU if you can channel your inner ALPHA chick, every now and again, AND SHOCK YOURSELF, OR GET SOMEONE LIKE ME TO DO IT FOR YOU, AND DO IT HARD. This is the Zen way, and in all truth is the only reason I’m still here – SOMEONE WHO SAW ENOUGH VALUE ‘LEFT’ IN ME WAS PREPARED TO USE THEIR OWN POWER TO SHOCK ME OUT OF MY ‘SUPER ANIMAL’ STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, over and over again, until I STARTED TO SEE WHAT WAS UNREAL, AS THAT IS THE KEY.

It is particularly useful, for the Hard Cases, to understand the difference between the UNREAL SHIT you are taught by society AS COSMIC TRUTH AND IS NOW THE BASIS OF ALL YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, which in reality is a simple abstraction used for a mechanical purpose – IT IS A USEFUL ‘APPROXIMATION’, IT IS NOT THE TRUTH. I don’t just mean the continual need to refine the Laws of Physics as we find that Newtons Gravity, AND NOW EINSTEINS GRAVITY is no longer accurate enough, even in the need to add FUDGE FACTORS TO EQUATIONS to correct them, so they work, like the constant need to add COSMIC CONSTANTS like the Speed of Light to stuff to make it ADD UP. No, I mean that even basic MATH is WRONG IN REALITY if you represent it as physical quantities sitting on a table, instead of an abstract system of laws that were designed thousands of years ago to manage the financial system, that only work for counting money AND SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR ANYTHING ELSE – it is an approximation SUITED TO A VERY NARROW USE CASE.

For example, 1 x 0 does NOT equal 0 in reality, 0 does not negate the original one when multiplying, if you add NOTHING to a stone on a table, that stone is still there, so 1 x 0 actually equals 1, just as 1 x 1 actually equals 2, as 2 stones on a table. It is this level of arbitrary rules based crap that builds up in layers IN YOUR HEAD and destroys your connection to reality, BECAUSE THEY NEED all cases TO work the same IN ORDER TO PROVE this ‘human law’ is true, so the example ones that are clearly wrong have to be forced by telling you lies. You don’t see them anymore – EVERYONE ON THE PLANET BELIEVES THE FANTASY THAT 1 X 0 = 0, because they know 2 X 2, 2 GROUPS OF 2 STONES EACH DOES EQUAL 4 STONES, so they think the human law of the Dewey Decimal system is TRUTH AT A COSMIC LEVEL. But it is not, because it does not work for all cases, INDEED IT IS NOT DESIGNED TO WORK FOR ALL CASES, it has gone beyond its intended purpose, WHICH ADDS A DEGREE OF ERROR TO EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES, INCLUDING YOU. Know the ancient Greeks refused to use Zero at all, as it was a lie to make nothing into a number, and only adopted it later to make Astrology work, and to organize calendars into approximations – THE SYMBOL ZERO ‘0’ WAS SIMPLY A PLACEHOLDER FOR NO NUMBER, ITS ADOPTION AS A NUMBER HAS FUCKED UP MATHS FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, WITH THE NUMBERS THEMSELVES MOVED OUT OF SEQ, EG THE FIRST 10 NUMBERS, FROM ZERO, NOW END IN ‘9’. Yep, in your world 9 actually means 10 in certain circumstances, but not in others – do you see this yet?

But for the HARD CASES, like you maybe, it is not just that these approximations in your learned ‘common sense’ are flawed, it is not just that you then apply these false instincts to USE CASES THAT ARE MILES AWAY FROM THE ONES THAT USED ORIGINALLY USED THESE APPROXIMATION FOR AS A CHILD, no… See, the reason you are TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT, that you cannot think straight unless forced too is that YOU ACCEPT YOUR THOUGHTS, SENSATIONS AND PETTY EMOTIONS AS TRUTH, not WHAT THEY ARE,  a PATTERN REACTION, BECAUSE YOU ARE LAZY AS FUCK – THOSE UNREAL PATTERNS TAKE ALL YOUR ENERGY AS THEY ACT AS A ‘SINK’ NOT A RESONATOR. If you could simply find the ENERGY TO FORCE YOURSELF TO ACT differently in the ways I have taught you SO YOU HAVE ‘TRUTH’ AT THE START, then VAST AMOUNTS OF YOUR GIFTED ENERGY WOULD BE FREED UP, and all your LAZINESS, YOUR INABILITY TO PUSH YOURSELF OVER THE WALL IN YOUR MIND, would simply disappear. YOU WOULD REMEMBER WHAT IT IS TO BE ‘SELF-CONSCIOUS’ POSITIVELY, as you would literally SNAP OUT OF THE DELUSION CAUSED BY LACK OF ENERGY FOR A TIME.

SO FOR THE WORST OF YOU – FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOURSELF SELF-CONSCIOUS ALL THE TIME, AND USE THAT TO BUILD YOUR BOTTLE.

OTHERWISE EVEN YOUR GOD CAN’T HELP YOU OUT OF THE SHIT HOLE YOU ARE STUCK IN, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ENERGY TO CLIMB.

IF YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO YOURSELF, IF YOU ARE ALREADY CRIPPLED, FIND A TEACHER WHO IS WILLING TO DO THAT TOO YOU, BECAUSE THEY HAVE A CONNECTION TO YOU, AND CAN THEREFORE FEED YOU THE ENERGY YOU OTHERWISE TOTALLY LACK, GIVEN YOU ARE READY TO USE IT, RATHER THAN WASTE IT, LIKE A PARASITE. You will know them when you meet them, as they will already energize you in someway, much as you will misname that feeling at the start, so you must accept you are still that fucking dumb, and hence be willing to do what you are told, OTHERWISE THE ERRORS OF YOUR CHARACTER TAKE ALL YOUR ENERGY, no matter how much more you build up, YOUR UNREAL FANTASIZES DESTROY YOUR POTENTIAL.

YES – THE HARD CASES AMONGST YOU MUST ACCEPT YOU ARE TOTALLY FULL OF APPROXIMATIONS, OF TRIVIAL NOISE, BEFORE YOU CAN LEARN AGAINST YOUR CHILDISH OPINION, AND THAT FIRST STEP IS TO GIVE IN TO THE ENERGY WORK A GOOD TEACHER WILL GIVE YOU, BECAUSE THEY HAVE TAKEN THE TROUBLE TO KNOW YOU, should you have any value left, that is. Be clear however, the PAYBACK FOR THIS SACRIFICE OF FAKE YOU, the reward is a level of energy that is beyond your current level of IMAGINATION, but you MUST MAKE THAT CONFESSION, at least to yourself, if not to your teacher – YOUR SHIT, WITHOUT THAT CONFESSION YOU WILL REMAIN SHIT, BECAUSE SHIT YOU REFUSES TO SEE THAT SHIT, SO YOU CAN NEVER BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN SHIT – YOU ARE DOOMED BY YOUR OWN CLEVERNESS.

YES – The reason you are a HARD CASE IS THAT YOU ARE SO SHIT THAT ALL YOUR GIFTED ENERGY IS EATEN BY THAT SHIT in order to maintain that level of suicidal shit, THAT IS HOW IT DEFENDS ITSELF, THE INABILITY TO CONFESS. So you cannot go on that way AND DEVELOP, LIKE SOME CLEVER LITTLE WHORE PLAYING THE ANGLES, YOU MUST TOTALLY SUBJIGATE YOUR EXISTING PERSONALITY SO SOMEONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU – YOU CANNOT HELP YOURSELF ANYMORE, your just too fucking clever now. FAKE YOU NEEDS TO BLAME EVERYONE, SEE ALL FORMS OF COMMUNICATION AS A FORM OF ARGUMENT BECAUSE YOUR SHIT YOU IS THAT BLOODY FRAGILE IT MUST TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO TRY FOR THE LITTLE WINS THAT MAKE IT UP = HARD CASE. Trust me, there is nothing more tedious in this world than to listen to the constant whinning of a CLEVER FOOL, as they try and be right, in some desperate way…

YES – when you have your moments of doubt always remind yourself you think 1 x 0 equals zero, you have no idea that multiplication is just a short hand for adding that many of the same number together, MULTIPLICATION IS A HUMAN ABSTRACTION, BUT you think multiplication is a form of magic, where zero negates physical quantity, that it can actually make it disappear, where in reality none of that is COMMON SENSE. Show yourself how little value there is in your Common Sense, that it has nothing to do with GNOSIS, WITH FELT TRUTH, AND THAT IT FEELS SLIGHLYT SICKENING TO BELIEVE IT WHEN YOU BECOME SENSITIVE ENOUGH. Do this often, do this even when, knowing all of this, YOU STILL WANT TO BELIEVE THAT 1 X 0 EQUALS ZERO, AS YOUR FALSE INSTINCTS ARE THAT FUCKING STRONG = YOU ARE A MORON, YOU CANNOT TRUST ANY OF YOUR COMMON SENSE ON THAT BASIS. All because you believe what they tell you is TRUTH, instead of trusting what you KNOW TO BE TRUE…

Trust me, one day you will not only WANT TO CONFESS EVERYTHING TO THE FOLKS THAT MATTER TO YOU, but you will also understand why you want to do this, because you will understand why it makes you feel BETTER THAN, against the comfort of being CLEVER, BECAUSE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE ANIMAL COMFORT OF BEING ‘CLEVER IN THE MOMENT’ IS ACTUALLY KILLING YOU, as now you can actually feel that sickening weakness of that UNREAL CLEVERNESS, THE COST OF IT TO YOU IN THE MOMENT OF DOING IT. This is why all Teachers love repentant Hedonists – not only DO you have real cases to apologize for, BUT THESE CASES ARE SERIOUS ENOUGH TO FEEL THE IMMEDIATE RETURN OF THE UNREAL VALUE OF CLEVER PREVIOUSLY LOST TO YOU. Think about, think about all the free money that is sitting on the table in front of you, right now, IF YOU ONLY HAD THE GUTS TO DO IT, AND BECOME SELF CONSCIOUS THE EASY WAY, EH..?

YOU ARE A HARD CASE BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK – STUBBORN DESPERATION IS A CONSCIOUS REACTION TO THE UNCONSCIOUS FAILURE OF ENERGETIC WEAKNESS, YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS ONE LONG LOW ENERGY STATE, WHICH YOU THINK IS NORMAL.

THE SECRET CLEVERNESS THAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM CHANGING NOW, WILL ALSO KEEP YOU TOO WEAK TO CHANGE IN THE FUTURE, BECAUSE YOU NEED THIS ‘COMFORT OF EGO SAFETY’ TO COPE – IT IS A NEGATIVE FEEDBACK LOOP, MORE YOU DO IT, THE MORE YOU ‘HAVE TO DO IT’.

SO YOU ‘CLING ON’ TO YOUR POISON, BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF HOW WEAK YOU HAVE BECOME, WHILST BECOMING EVER WEAKER BECAUSE YOU CONTINUE TO CLING TO SOMETHING THAT IS KILLING YOU AS A COMFORT = DUMB AS FUCK.

WITHOUT A TEACHER, YOU ONLY CHOICE AS A HARD CASE IS TO GET MAD AND STAY MAD AT FAKE YOU, AT HOW SHIT YOU ARE, SO YOU CAN SEPARATE YOUR CONSCIOUS SELF FROM THAT USELESS LITTLE UNCONSCIOUS TWAT, OTHERWISE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE ENERGY TO START.

AS A GUTLESS TWAT YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE JUDGING OTHERS TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER, SO TURN THAT JUDGEMENT ON YOURSELF, AND COMPARE YOURSELF TO BETTER THAN YOU – THIS IS HOW YOU STAY MAD AT FAKE YOU, THE FAILURE.

FOR THE VERY WORST OF YOU, IT WILL ALSO HELP TO USE THE FEAR OF YOUR SUICIDAL FAKE SELF TO MAKE YOU MORE SELF CONSCIOUS, VIA THE REALIZATION THAT EVERY TIME YOU LOSE SELF AWARENESS EXPOSES YOU TO THE UNCONSCIOUS SELF-SABOTAGE OF YOUR FAKE CHARACTER.

SEE YOUR FAKE CHARACTER HATES YOU, OBVIOUSLY, OTHERWISE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LIKE THIS..?

SO YOU MUST FIND AWAY INTO FEELING YOUR ENERGY STATE SO YOU CAN MANAGE IT – AS A HARD CASE, COMPLETELY OWNED BY FAKE YOU, YOUR THOUGHTS, ACTIONS ARE FUCKING USELESS, YOU ARE A HAMSTER WHO DOES NOTHING ELSE BUT RUN ON WHEELS OF POINTLESS THOUGHT.

SO KNOW THAT EVEN PUTTING YOUR AWARENESS ON THE ENERGY STATE OF YOUR BODY, VISCERALLY, HELPS YOUR ENERGY STATE, BUT ZONING OUT, BECOMING CONTINUALLY LOST IN THOUGHT AND EMOTION DESTROYS IT BY USING IT WRONGLY.

YES – YOU MUST BECOME ‘BODY CONSCIOUS’ AS YOU CAN NOT THINK, SO YOU MUST MAKE THINKING SECONDARY FOR NOW, UNTIL YOU ARE A LOT STRONGER, OTHERWISE YOU ARE JUST GOING TO PARROT SELF DESTRUTIVE GARBAGE.

EVEN THE HARDEST CASES I’VE EVER MET CAN MAKE THIS WORK IF THEY STICK AT IT – THEY CAN USE IT TO BREAK THEIR OBSESSIONAL CLEVERNESS…   

So, get this now – SECRET CLEVERNESS IS THE HALLMARK OF A PUSSY, A SADASS, A CREEPY LITTLE DORK SCARED OF THEIR OWN SHADOW, THAT IS WHY YOU KEEP SECRETS, THAT IS THE POINT OF THEM FOR FAKE YOU, while a Badass, however Polite an Aristos they choose to BE, will tell you your a 2 faced TWAT to your face every damn day of the week IF ITS TRUE. That’s why they are a BADASS, and why you are just one more CLEVER LITTLE GUTLESS WHORE, desperate to fit in with your HERD – YOUR NEED FOR THE APPROVAL OF OTHERS WILL KILL YOU ONE DAY, not because of the approval as an energetic concept, BUT BECAUSE OF WHO YOU SEEK IT FROM. It’s UNREAL, they have NOTHING TO GIVE YOU, just like all those stupid little dramas you binge-watch that NEVER HAPPENED, and yet you wonder why you are exhausted by them the next day – STICK TO THE REAL WORLD, understand why the best of the animals, even many old people nearing death become obsessed with history OVER TIME, BECAUSE ITS REAL, AND THAT MATTERS ENERGETICALLY.

GET SMARTER – KNOW THAT YOUR FANTASISES ARE KILLING YOU, WHILST ALSO STOPPING YOU LIVING THEM OUT.

ALL DEVELOPMENT IS A BASIC EQUATION – ONCE YOU HAVE THE ENERGY, ALL OF THIS IS EASY, WITHOUT IT, NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.

SO STOP WASTING YOUR SELF ON NOTHING, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, AND FOCUS ON BEING SOMETHING INSTEAD, BEFORE YOU ARE DEAD.

IT IS THAT EASY – FIND A WAY TO BE POSITIVELY SELF CONSCIOUS, AND THEN YOU ARE FREE TO CHANGE, AS THE WORLD IS YOURS.